Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S10 EP30: Suzi Ruffell (The Return)

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian, writer and actress - ⁠Suzi Ruffell. You can order Suzi's brilliant new book 'Am I Having Fun Now? - Anxiety, Applause and Life’s Big Questions, Answered' HERE You can listen to Suzi's first appearance on Parenting Hell HERE Tour dates and tickets to her new stand-up tour 'The Juggle' HERE You can watch her last stand-up special 'Snappy' on Youtube - HERE And her brilliant podcasts Like Minded Friends and Out with Suzi Ruffell. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener,

with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with... Willow, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Well done. Can you say Josh Widegum?

Josh Widegum. Well done. That was beautiful. It had the music in the background. And a very cute kid. Mum was calm. That felt like a very, very nice place to be. Yeah.

Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. Love the podcast. I've been listening since the beginning of lockdown days. This is my two-year-old daughter Willow. She's our third, so we don't deal in months anymore. We have Evie, eight, and Leo, six. Me and my husband, Matt, live in Derby. Keep going off on those tangents. You both have me laughing out loud on my commute. Stay section-related, we'll gobble gobble. From Alice, don't wait to say my age. I don't want to say my age is hitting a midlife crisis from Derby though born in Wales midlife crisis now I was thinking about this Josh. Yeah, the old midlife crisis. Yeah, I think I was the long hair Good stuff actually, I tell you what I'd shake your hand if you if you near me

No, the I think the midlife actually is slightly too long at the moment. But the midlife crisis, I think basically you get to about 4045. And you sort of just go, well, is it just this now till I die? Yeah. And it makes you reflect, did it? Yeah. And you think, Oh, yeah, actually, yeah, I can do this till I die. Or you go, you know what, I'm not actually enjoying this. I don't really want to do this till I die. So I'll do something else. So but I

think everyone does that. But I think the the buying of a sports car, like a bright red convertible, I sort of feel like, if you really want one of them, fine, but I think some people just do it out of panic. Yeah. What would your midlife crisis be? I'll give, I'll throw some things at you and you tell me whether you think that would be a good, likely midlife crisis for Rob. Sports car? No. Motorbike?

I tell you what, I wouldn't, not a sports car,, but I would maybe get when the kids are older and I don't need to do school runs like an old classic car, but it wouldn't be like a brand new sport. Like you're on Celebrity Antiques Road Trip. Yeah, like an old Mercedes that plods along with a convertible. But then, because I'll be old by then, people go, look at that wanker. Yeah, yeah. From the past. But not a brand new sporty, sporty one. No, yeah. But not sport not a brand new, sporty,

sporty one. Lambo. That would stress me out so much. I mean, motorbike. No, maybe Vespa. Vespa. Okay. Leather jacket. Never. Tats.

Tattoos. No, maybe not. Yeah, not the closest I could get. I could imagine getting a tat. Yeah, yeah. But I think it's different between getting a tat of some one or two things. But not like a full body. No, because I think a full body sleeve or a massive cross on your back is like that. But a little tat is fine. You just sort of explore, you know, but yeah you know but yeah I think yeah it's extremes in it. Trading Lou in for a younger model? No no she might get rid of me.

You don't know Rob your future wife might currently be... I think Lou might be a gay man trapped in a woman's body. Well you do spend a lot of time with Lou and Tom Allen and it is like, and they, they do seem to have more in common than, um, than you do. Well, she was, um, she was at Hey You Fest. The Mighty Hoopla in Brockwell Park at Hey You. And I don't even know what that means, but it's just- So are they the same thing? I don't know. Hey You is like a channel, channel I think that has all those bra phone shows on.

The My She Who Blah is like a kind of camp music event, isn't it? Yes, it was incredibly camp. It felt almost like a pride event. Yeah. But yeah, but not, it wasn't pride. It was more just, but yeah, I don't know what I don't know where she was, what she was doing. But she had the best day of her life according to that. She looked like she's having a lot of fun on Instagram. Yeah, she loved it. She had a great time. But yeah, so don't know where she was, what she was doing, but she had the best day of her life according to that. She looked like she was having a lot of fun on Instagram.

Yeah, she loved it. She had a great time. But yeah, so she's doing that. But I'm not gonna get a divorce. I was at home with the children actually. I went to a garden center. Yeah. How's that for your midlife?

Maybe lose everyone. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, we'll keep a look on it. Today we've got Susie Ruffall, Rob. Yes. But before that, should we have a couple of pieces of correspondence? Yes, let's do it. I've got a couple of good ones here. Go on. I've got this one here. The school drop off time windows. Recently you discussed school

drop off windows. Yeah. Remember this? Yeah. And we were saying we've got quite a big one. Mine's, I think, 8am to 35. So it's a 35-minute window. Yeah. And yours is, what's yours? 9.15 to 9.30. 15 minutes. It's quite tight.

Here we go. Recently, you discussed school drop-off windows. My kids have a five-minute window for drop-off. Fuck that. My son is in juniors. Gate opens at 8.30, closes at 8.35. Fucking hell. My daughter is in infants, classroom opens at 8.35, closes at 8.40.

Oh my God. Different schools. What? No. So they have to do two drop-offs. Well, so it says it's different schools next door to each other, but it takes three to four minutes to walk from juniors to infants. So you've got to hit 8.30.

You can't be hitting 8.35 on the first one. So you have to be bang on 8.30, otherwise you're late for the infants. And there's no such thing as the late room. There is zero room for error. Such a stressful school run, Joanne Witham-Essex. I think if I was doing that school run, I'd like to think I'd do this, maybe I wouldn't because of who I am. I think you've got to aim for 8.20 every morning. I'd rather be waiting than be perilous.

Yeah, and then you can even, if the gate opens at 8.20, imagine if the gate opens at 8.31, you've got to be raging, ain't you? Oh yeah, fucking livid. Fucking livid. We've got, right, so we've got other things here. We've got weird phobias, sex in public places, but the biggest public space imaginable. It's enclosed. Yeah. Boomer parenting. Let's have sex in a big public place, please, Rob.

Okay. And then we'll do the correspondence. Right. Yeah, here we go. That's a bit of fun. Everyone can enjoy that. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. I've just listened to the Rose and Lou episode and heard your stories about shagging in big spaces that are indoors. Well, I can tell you that myself and my now husband used to work nights at a very well-known airport in the Midlands. Oh, Robin Hood. And oh my God, this is a good one.

And every now and again, when there wasn't many flights arriving throughout the night, we used to meet up and shag in the air bridge. Right, this is interesting because it is a big open space but in length, not height. Yeah, yeah, exactly. This was a secret place that no one ever ventured to. Of course, who's walking down an air bridge without an air plane in the end? Exactly, exactly, exactly. No one ever ventured to and we had never been caught.

We have never told anyone until now. That's amazing. That is a great one. I bet they couldn't believe it when our topic came up and they were like, here we go. Oh, please send them in. We love those. We love those. Right. Okay. Here's Susie Ruffall. She's back. She's back.

Go back and listen. We don't know when it was. Was it lockdown? No, maybe it was after. Who cares? She was still living in London then. Now she's moved to Brighton, as you will hear. But lovely Susie. Very funny. Very interesting. And quite good, very funny, but also touched on serious stuff as we like to do, Josh. We tiptoe around that. Something for everyone. Enjoy. Susie Ruffell, hello.

Hello, Josh. Hello, Rob. How are you? Yeah, good. Welcome to the podcast again, Susie. The Return. Thank you for having me back. The Return. Fill me in having me back. The Return.

Fill me in. All right, Craig David. Quite demanding, isn't he? Yeah, it is. I'm not, I crossed my own podcast. How long ago were you on and what was the situation for listeners? So for listeners and indeed both of you. And me, and then crucially for me.

So I had just moved down to Brighton with my wife and my daughter, still with my wife and my daughter. Lovely. Thank fuck for that. Yeah, because that would be bad, wouldn't it? We live in Brighton now. So that was about two and a half, nearly three years ago. Wow.

How old's your daughter now? She's five. So is she at school? Yes. Oh, well, let's start there then. I like the fact that you asked that, Josh, like you don't know it and I appreciate that. I'm a host Susie, I do the, I'm a good host, come on. Or he's double bluffing Susie.

Oh I'm double bluffing you and I'm not really totally across it. And he doesn't give a fuck and now you've caught him out and you've just complimented his broadcast skills but actually he's an awful friend and couldn't care about anything other than him. Yeah, it's one of the two. So you've got one son, right? Okay. And how's your old fella doing? Is he all right? Yeah, he's all right. He's all right. You know what it's like. Yeah, yeah. You still love blokes, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mainly for the sex. But other than that, yeah, everything's normal. Nothing changed. Yeah, okay. To confirm, wife, daughter, that's five, you're down in Brighton, left Sydenham, turncoat. Left Sydenham for Brighton. Scum. Turned your back on South East London, Susie, how dare you. Aren't you slowly turning your back on, with every house purchase, aren't you taking one

step towards the sea? I'd say, I've not turned my back on South East London, I'm definitely sort of profile. You're walking backwards facing it then. I can see it, I can see the sea and of profile. You're walking backwards facing it then. I can see it. I can see the sea and the sea. But only if you're holding a mirror. I'm south facing.

That's what you want, south facing garden. Why don't you just commit to not being a Londoner? Oh, wow. If I'm really honest, Susie, I'm not holding on to being London. I'm actually annoyed I'm still technically London because I have to play stupid London. Oh no, don't start the eulers. I have to pay eulers. Oh no, don't start the Youles.

I have to pay Youles. What did you call me? You heard. I thought you said Robert Change. It was me that came and said... Oh, we got to that Youles. I told Youles. Don't start Robert Youles. So I would happily not be London,

but this is the closest we can get to countryside and my children still be at school they're happy with. Which brings me back, how's it going with your daughter in school? Nice. That was broadcasting. We've improved in the last two and a half years. I'm a great broadcaster, but I don't want to broadcast. That's my problem. I don't like actually broadcasting. I quite like disrupting, which is not ideal. What would you like to do if you don't like, what would you like to be doing with your

days? I love doing stand up and I love making people laugh and I love messing about and having fun. I'm not a massive broadcast guy where it's like I'm a broadcaster. Yeah, like where you're reading the links and you're like bringing guests in and stuff like that. Yeah. Or, you know, like if you're on the telly or on the radio and one of the royal family dies, when that happens, I don't want to be the guy that's to broadcast and go, are you going to bring you some devastating breaking news?

I don't think anyone's asking you to be Clive Myrie, are they? That's what it feels like. Are you being asked to read the news? Sorry guys, the King's dead, I'm out. Someone go and get Vernon Kay now. Someone get Gabby Logan. Come back to the studio Rob and on the webcam or whatever they call it these days you just see the spinning chair and doing spinning because you left at such speed. Exactly someone get Claire Boulding in here now to hold the reins. Another You Les. Another You Les. Bloody Sadiq Khan. He's putting them everywhere. I'm Susie.

I'm sorry. I'm already taking it off road. No, this is perfect. Let's not talk about your kid for the whole episode. Let's just keep doing Youlez jokes. See how long we last until we get cancelled. Sus. Yes.

She's at school. Year of reception. Yeah. How's that going for you then? Well, it's... That was quite Clive Myhre. It was a bit serious. How's that going for you then?

Did you stroke your chin? Are you about to mastermind or something? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. How's that going for you then? Well, that was quite Clive Myhre. It was a bit serious. How's that going for you then? Did you straight your chid? You've actually mastermind on my child's schooling. Because I've got a school report here, so I want to go through some problems. I've answered the question so I'll finish. How's that going for you?

It's a whole different thing, isn't it? Like the, them making friends and then you sort of getting to know the parents in a way that you don't really do at nursery. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. And you've got to make a bit of an effort because this could be long haul. Well, one of my friends said to me in the first year, the pressure's on you to help them make friends. Oh, I don't think that's fair from your friend.

That's very front foot forward that. We're going to come to you as an anxious person soon and I don't want you to fair from your friend. I was very front foot forward with that. We're gonna come to you as an anxious person soon and I don't want you to be taking it on your shoulders. Yeah, that you shouldn't feel that much pressure. That's a lot of responsibility. I think what she meant was like, you've got to put in the play dates. Right, yeah, yeah.

You've got to do the park. You've got to be front footed in them doing stuff outside of school. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So they make those sort of connections. So I'd say that's what like the last year has been about. Also, as well, Susie, say what I and we did was try and arrange lots of play dates because when they come in and go, I like playing with this person, that person, that person, you

get them around and you can get a sense of the vibe. And then you can then decide which other play dates you do more or less off. You're going to do that with boyfriends as well, aren't you Rob? Absolutely. If you mentioned someone that you fancy to me, I'll take them out for a pint and then I'll let you know whether you can see them. Well, no, no, no. I'll just observe them having fun.

Oh, how creepy. What, like from a car? From a blacked out car? I won't do that when they're adults, but when they're four, you have to observe. You can't just get a playdate going and just leave them in the woods, can you? Yeah. No, that's true. How's your playdate going, Suze? Are you-

I'm not that confident on playdates. With the other parents? Yeah. Oh, no, don't do playdates with the other parents. Well, the parents have to come. No. No, no, no, no. What, do you not go to playdates?

No, I'd rather drop them off or take two kids. I'll go, I'll pick them up and we'll go somewhere and then I'll bring them back. Oh, you're a drop-and-runner. Whereas I'm a fourth awkward tea in the kitchener. Yeah, same. I always avoided that. Lou did a few of them. I just, I would always go, well, I'll pick them up or I'll go, yeah, drop them off.

See you later. We'll be all right. So you're a fourth awkward tea in the kitchener, Suez? Yeah, yeah, for sure off. See you later. We'll all right. So you're a fourth awkward tea in the kitchen, Suez? Yeah, yeah, for sure. It's so awkward. I've got to say actually, all the, we've got a really nice class. So the parents are all really nice. You've got to say that. You've got to say that.

Come on, Suez. You changed shit to us. We know you better now. There's got to be a couple of rogues. It's not humanly possible in life for there to be 25, well 25 kids, 50 people. The ones my daughter have gravitated towards all seem very nice. Perfect. We'll get the swerve on with the other ones if she tries to bring home any other friends. I imagine the parents at your school, Josh, are like really quite cool and... Let's put it this way, Susie.

Like hackney and... I'm the only person who hasn't got a fucking beard. You would have a beard if you could wouldn't you? I would have a beard if I could. Yeah I was gonna say is that because you can't? Yeah it's not, I'm not like a kind of a business man in the 60s getting annoyed with like hippies. I'm like I just can't grow a beard. I think you can grow a beard, you remind me when think of your cheeks, I think of the Gruffalo. And the purple pimple on the end of your nose. That first Edinburgh, that purple pimple for the whole of Edinburgh. Yeah, that's true. Stressed pimple.

I've seen you with quite a lot of stubble. Don't you think you just need to get through that bit? I thought you were going to talk about your kid then. I felt like we were getting back to it. No, no, no. I'm talking about whether or not you can grow a beard. I feel like that as well, Sue. I feel like he's been on the cusp of a beard, but not fully gone through with it.

It's too patchy. Would Rose like you to have a beard? No. That's the issue with it. No, I'd say it's a heavy no. This is what it is. My guess would be. Rose doesn't want you to have a beard,

so you've not done it. Because I found a picture of you, you've basically got a beard. You look good. That one when you look into the side, type in Josh Ridicam beard. Type in Josh Ridicam beard, right? Onto the internet now. And there's a I found a picture of you you've basically got a beard you look good that one when you look into the side type in josh riddikum beard type in josh riddikum beard right onto the internet now and there's one of you you look you look really sexy it's a picture of me because of how much time I used to spend with him I want the one where I'm looking to the side yeah

you look like a sexy indie band the problem with that one that was taken by ed more I prefer your hair like that as well that's my I'd have I was more likely to have sex with you looking like that than currently, no offense. But do you know what? That isn't my aim. Well, you need to sort your bloody aims out. It's that it doesn't go up to the cheeks. Do you know what I mean?

It looks like I've got like, you know how those people that shave the cheeks, like kind of Jeremy Beadle or Beppe. Oh God, yes, Beppe, like a goatee. Beppe DiMarco, yeah.. Yeah does Beppe go the whole way around? I'm trying to think is it Craig David maybe? Craig David has a low one yeah. Yeah it feels like I've got that. What about a tash? Oh no. I don't think we should push you down that avenue. Yeah once again it's not big enough. You've got quite a big top lip though haven't you said? Look powerful. Have I? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Go you know. Oh, fucking hell. Let's not get back in this. No, I'd say you've got a fairly big top lip, haven't you? Not the lip itself, but the bit above the lip. The philtrum. The philtrum. Oh, lovely word.

Yeah, the philtrum. So you're going to these play dates, Susie. Yeah. Oh, God. Sorry. Yes. So have you made actual friends? And my judgment of an actual friend is someone who you would see something you think they'd

like an Instagram post and you just WhatsApp it to them. Do you know what I mean? Yes. I would say there's one Defo. Yeah. So what do you do? Sign language with them? Oh, bad Josh.

Bad. Come on, that's good humor. That's good humor. Yeah, there's a, that's good humour. That's good humour. Yeah, there's a couple that we really like that we're sort of pushing our friendship upon. It's always quite vulnerable though, isn't it? Going like, being an adult and trying to make new friends.

It's really hard. Yeah, because you don't know what the line is or if they're into the same things. How are you managing that? Because that stresses me out. And obviously, you know, you suffer with anxiety. You've written a book about it, we'll get to it in a minute. Because what I find is, I don't know if you cover this in a book, but it's where like, you deal with your own sort of anxieties to a point where you find your job, your career, and a partner, and you just shuffle through life going, that makes me really scared, so I'm not

going to do it. But then all of a sudden, this child drags you into this world of making new friends, go into places, try new things, and you get a second wave of all that anxiety. So are you getting that with friendship groups? Yeah, I think so. Well, I think that it's quite exposing, isn't it? Being like, you want to be a grown up friend with me? You want to have? Like, you've got to find the parents that, well, for me, I want to find a mum that I can have a glass of wine with or dad, you know, chill with. And I think that we've got a couple of them. The couple that we're sort of closest to, I'd say, have a son. And I would say that our daughter and their son,

they do really like each other when they hang out, but they're not like, we really get on. But we have gone, we really get on. So you guys are going to really get on. Surely you've got to bite the bullet on this Susie. I'm back engineering a friendship for my daughter. Is that bad? Is that bad parenting? You know what, I think it's not unless what you, as long as the kids know that if there is any problem between them at school, they don't have to make friends just because you and the mum and dad are friends. You can still be friends and your kids not get on, do you know what I mean? But you just maybe not do as much stuff with the kids. No, they really get on when we hang out. But at school, I'll say like, did you speak to him today? And she'd be like, no, he's a boy.

Which I find really surprising, like that gender has become such a quick thing. Oh, it's mental. Like she's like, oh, I play with him outside of school, but not so much in school, because the boys play together and the girls play together. You go, God, even in like Brighton with like a game arms, it's still really pronounced. If anything, they're following your footsteps. Yeah, I mean, I only hang out with women. Exactly. I refuse to do this podcast in person because it makes me physically sick. Go on. Because you were straight into you started working with Josh, right?

Yeah, I was. Yeah, mad for the cuck. What percentage of? Of gay am I? 94. And I used to ask you that every day, do you know, and I had a graph. Because I think I'm 3% to 4% gay as well, so I'm saying 96 straight. Like how many gay parents are there in the school? In the whole school? I don't know.

In our year, I think three. Right. Which isn't loads. No. But it just means that there's more diverse families. Yeah. So, obviously, to a kid, right, there's no kind of inbuilt homophobia or anything in a child and it just feels it's totally normal, right?

But is there an age where you worry about like things being said or do you know what I mean? Is that something that plays or has that happened? Definitely something I worry about sort of happening to her maybe when she gets to secondary school. But I'm hoping that by the time all that happens and also we're in Brighton. The world will be on fire. The world will have exploded. You know, we'll be in a post-apocalyptic kind of. No one's going to care if she's gay if we're living in the last of us. We're gay rather if we're living in the last of us. It's the summer big red sale at Canadian Tire. Save up to 50%. What are you doing? These are the biggest deals of the season. I'm shouting it from the

rooftop. We have a radio ad. You don't need to be up there. The Summer Big Red Sale is on from June 5th to June 12th. Conditions apply. Details online. It won't take long to tell you Neutrals' ingredients. Vodka. Soda. Natural flavors.

So what should we talk about? No sugar added? Neutral. Refreshingly simple. We went on our first family holiday a few years ago and we went to Greece. And we thought Greece would be like an okay place to go on holiday. It's not illegal to be gay there or anything. We thought, oh, this would be fine.

And then we got there and it was, we felt like a bad vibe immediately. And we really felt- In the hotel, generally? Just in the hotel. Because we were like, let's get an all-inclusive because then we won't have to leave the hotel and there's lots of things to do there. Great. Because she was maybe like three at the time. And you're a fan of Wayne Lineker's resorts anyway, aren't you? Yeah. So, you know, it made sense. And then when we arrived, when we were checking in, we sort of noticed the staff

like really staring at us. And then our daughter was like, mommy, mama, and like wanted one of us and then both of us. And then I said afterwards to Alice, that's my wife, I said, did you get that they were really staring? And she said, yeah, really staring. So I thought I was being really paranoid. We were like, oh, that's weird. Oh, okay. Let's not overthink it. And then now I need to be careful here because I'm not suggesting that all Russian people are homophobic. That is not what I'm saying at all. However, what I'm saying is there were lots of people in the resort that were Russian and they were talking really openly about us and would look at us and then discuss in Russian.

I think they were disgusted by us and it ended with them moving their stuff away from us. They wanted to move their children away from us. Yeah, which was really horrible. Surprised they didn't try and take your stuff. And it was really horrible. I went back to the room and had a little cry and then looked up how to fly back. I was like, well, can we fly home? And so has that stopped you going to like on a European holiday again? We've been to France since then and we've got a holiday booked for the summer, but I think it certainly made me slightly more reticent.

I was on holiday and there was loads of Russians there and they give off a very different vibe anyway, I'd say. I found it very difficult and not very fun and very judged and very watched, even though I'm just a sort of heterosexual family with kids and stuff. So to add that extra layer on it, I imagine it must've felt horrific.

Because even we were like, there's a very weird vibe of Russians on holiday, especially at the moment. And they're very unwelcoming I found. So for you and you know, your situation must've been a million times worse. It made me feel, it made me feel lots of things. It made me feel really protective, obviously. Then it made me feel like weirdly embarrassed in a way that how I felt when I was a teenager, like oh God, I feel really ashamed.

Will you adapting your behavior? Well, no, I sort of decided not to because I don't want really want my daughter to know yet that homophobia exists. And I don't want her to think that even for 10 seconds that we ever pretend to be something we're not. Because I think that gives her a really bad message that, oh, like in front of some people we pretend to be, we're not good enough. And when you say you don't want her to know homophobia exists, what's, I suppose an interesting

question there would be like, would you want to bring that up to her at some point and say, this is something that might happen so that she's prepared for it. Have you thought about that or do you just go, I'm going to be positive until this occurs, if this occurs, then we'll deal with it. But there's no point in planting this difference and negative in her head. Do you know what, I'll be totally honest with you. I'll probably just let Alice deal with that. She's sort of the brains of the operation. Yeah, fair enough. Whatever Alice says on that one. But no, I think that I, you know, we've got lots

of books about, you know, diverse families and people not- Have you got Albert and the Aardvarks? You sent me that. Did I? Yeah, you sent me that. They're gay Aardvarks. I hope me that. Did I? Yeah, you sent me that. They're gay aardvarks. I hope you didn't see that as a hate crime. Yeah, I did.

I thought some of the scribbling you'd done on it seemed a bit off. I took it in jest. I've written wrong in blood on every page. Why do you draw a dick on all the characters? What's it called? It's called Albert and his two male aardvarks. Arnold? No, I can No, Albert.

It's so good. It's by Morag Hood. If anyone's looking for a picture book. Alfred and Albert, an adorable funny love story. Yeah, it's really great. But I didn't realize I'd send it through the post in a kind of weird kind of, you'll like this. I do apologize.

Well, I also, I didn't know who it was from. So it did feel like, oh, Jason and Jacob. Oh my God, are you sure it was me? No, you told me you were sending it, I think. advice. Well, I also didn't know who it was from. So it did feel like, oh my God, you told me you were sending it, I think. Oh, okay. Maybe you gave it to me when I saw you. I don't know. I'm sure that we've had this conversation about this book. Yeah, fine. Yeah, it's really good. I guess those things as and when they come up, but you know, I think we'll have to sort

of say, you know, some people don't understand it. And some people, you know, rather than being like, some people think this is wrong. It's difficult, isn't it? It's like talking about anything like with your kids. Like if your children were to ask about, well, I know that your littlest one is probably a bit small, Josh, but the girls at school, you know, Rob and Josh, like if they ask about sort of some horrors that are going on in the world, like how do you guys? It's weird, isn't it? It's difficult. But I think you're being too generous there, Susie. There are things that are outside the

family home. Because Lou and Rose will deal with it. No, no. There are things that are totally nothing to do with us. If they come over, what's going on in Gaza, Palestine, Ukraine, Russia and all that, you know, it's sort of separate things. You have to introduce that there's horrible things happening in the world, but they're separate. But for you guys to be on a holiday that you want to relax on and there's people that are giving you direct reactions, that is something that's affecting your family sort of immediately. That is a different level. So I know you're trying to make it relate to us, but it is something that you are uniquely will be experiencing, which is really unfair.

But I, you know, I don't really know how, how I dealt with it at the time. And if anyone's experienced a similar thing, I highly recommend this. I had quite a big cry. And that seemed to help. That's good stuff, isn't it? That helps with everything. I think that when, when it was just Alice and I, I was quite happy to like, we would go to like India and Sri Lanka and quite often people would be like, are you sisters? And you've both met Alice, like we look nothing alike, but we'd be like, sure, if that makes it easier for you, sure. You know, maybe some people would think that that's not very brave of me, but you know, I don't always want to be brave. Life's an effort enough for that. I mean, to think I have to be brave 24 seven.

But now that we have our daughter, I do sort of think, no, I just sort of won't go to those places, which is a real shame because it means that there's like, quite a lot of the world where you go, Oh, we can't go there yet. Yeah. You know, the hope is always that there's, you know, things will improve. And, you know, there's good stuff happening in lots of places. I mean, there's bad stuff happening too. But, you know, hopefully that means that in time, you know, we will be able to see those places as a family. Well, I mean, stuff is changing slowly. I mean, you think now like if when we were at school back in the nineties, if someone had same sex parents and we're at the school,

it would be like massive news in this big thing. Now, like, you know, that you said this three in your classes, in my daughter's class of school there's a same-sex couple and stuff and it is more kids are just like all right whatever oh they do not bat an eyelid it's mad like an eyelid that's the really interesting thing like i think it's probably more in the parents head because of the generationally we remember the kind of attitudes when we were kids, than it is in the kids' heads, if you know what I mean. Yeah. And all those old bastards are dying, which is good.

That is good, isn't it? You have to, with certain cultural movement, you just have to wait for the miserable old bastards to die and they're slowly dropping off. So that's good. Isn't it? I think as well, it was part of the reason that we moved to Brighton. I don't know whether I mentioned this last time, so if I'm repeating myself, I do apologize. We lived in Sydenham. Sydenham's really nice. We had a really nice time there.

I remember seeing a- It's not that nice though, is it? Let's be honest. I live near it. Well, yeah. There's bits around it there. It's not lovely, is it? You get a nice house for a decent price in London, but it's not... If you were visiting London on holiday, you wouldn't go check out Notting Hill and then pop down to Sydney. You have to see the Waterlink Way and the Saver Centre. Have you seen the Sainsburys? It's huge. In fairness, it is a good Sainsbury's. It's massive. During lockdown, visiting there felt like a small holiday. Oh, man, it's huge. I'd be like, oh,

there's a home section. This is great. Yeah. But I remember seeing a leaflet for a counselor and they didn't get elected, but there was this leaflet for a counselor and they were running on a like family values. It was just sort of bullet points, you know, like a Christian way of life at school, encouraging this, not having books with indoctrination in the library. And I remember thinking, I kind of knew that that person wouldn't get in, but. I remember thinking, I knew that that person wouldn't get in, but you go, oh, there's people that feel really strongly about this. It's just, what does that mean to a queer family? Do we have to pretend that we don't exist until you decide that your child is okay to find out about us? It was another

thing of moving to Brighton that we just thought, I mean, if there are homophobes here, like they're outnumbered. You'd be insane to live in Brighton. Yeah, start being a vegan at McDonald's. Fuck off. Yeah. Well, I feel sort of sorry for the homophobes that are like, their lineage goes all the way back to Brighton because they must feel like- It must be tough for those guys. They don't have a thing about those guys. lineage goes all the way back to Brighton because they must be tough for those guys. No one ever thinks about those guys.

Like more and more guys. But the more guys that move into an area, the prices go up. Yeah. So we've done good stuff, you know, so it depends how much. What do you love more? You very much gentrified Brighton over you, the guys. Well, what do you love more, homophobia or money? Exactly.

You have to make peace with it. Would you, what you sell for a lot of people you feel are morally wrong, but a hundred grand on your house? I know you would. You've been on my company's house? So you go into a lot of kids parties as well or you like, how does it work with that? Yeah, well in our school- Are you holding them?

Yeah. You invite everyone from reception. Did you do that? Yeah. You invite everyone from reception. Did you do that? Yeah, it's horrible. Yeah. My kids are older now, but that is a horrendous couple of years where it's so busy. And also the kids don't, are too nervous to be left sometimes. Yes. So then you've got people hanging around. Look, the kids are having a great time. I would say that for me, it is the sensory overload.

Yes. Yeah, I agree. The noise. It's just all a lot. And I. And I quite often need to sort of go outside and have a few breaths because I find the whole thing just really, really a lot. And do you both go? Sometimes. I mean, I don't know if this is the same with your parties, but I would say like the beer is flowing.

Yeah. Like on the WhatsApp group, it will be like, there'll be beer, there will be beer. Do you know what? It was like that when we were in nursery, but the school ones are, there is beer, but it's not flowing. Do you know what I mean? Right, yeah.

I wouldn't say it's flowing. I think there's a couple, it depends on the parents. There's sometimes a couple with a few bits of Prosecco out and a beer, but it depends. If you're doing them in a pub, like the back room of a pub, then the beer's flowing. But a lot of ours are in church halls. Yeah, ours are in church halls, but I would say that a lot of the parents are still bringing the

beer, which I appreciate. So would you get pissed? Would people be pissed? No, I don't really like being pissed. Yeah, but some people love being pissed. Is there people that get pissed? I don't think so, but I think that it sort think that it loosens the conversation, doesn't it? It makes people loose enough a bit. Sometimes it's really early in the morning.

It's like 11 a.m. Yeah, what's wrong with that? We're an hour ahead here. I was once at a party and I was like, because I got two at about the same age where there were still big parties because there's only a two year age gap. There's a point where I was doing like every weekend, there was like two or three parties because there's 30 kids in the class, boom, boom, boom. And I sat there once and then another parent sat next to me and I'm on like the chair around the edge trying to

bury my head into my phone. I was like, oh, hello. And I was like, which one's yours? Because that's the question, which one's yours? And she said the name, she went, I'm so and so's mother and it's her birthday today. Oh, do you think I'll give a fuck? Do you think any part of me gives a fuck about your kids fucking, but I'm doing free a weekend. I don't, they all look the same. They're all running around. Shannon. I don't care. They're just a blur with clothes on. I don't care or know who your daughter is. But I didn't say that. I went, Oh,

sorry. Are you all right Rob? Not really. Has anyone checked in on you lately? I've been on the road too long. He's on the road. He's in a hotel in Birmingham. Oh, of course.

You're on tour. I'm a road dog. Yeah, now it makes sense. To be fair, you're right, Susie. You've called that. You know me well. I've been working too much and I need a little break. And I'm expressing myself in moaning about kids.

When does your tour start? Has it started yet? Or is it June? No, June. Oh, I've got the dates here. Suzy Ruffle, The Juggle. Are you gonna Steve Wright it? Jimmy says Steve Wright, these are all your tour shows.

Starting in June this year. Okay, Bracknell, Milton Keynes, Norwich, Norwich, Basingstoke, Bridgewater, London, Farnham, Chelmsford, Colchester, Guildford, Liverpool, Leeds, Hereford, Canterbury, Harrogate, Taunton, Swansea, Swindon, Durham, Newcastle, Lincoln, Brighton, Brighton, Southend, Bury St Edmunds, Lancford, Liverpool, Leeds, Hereford, Canterbury, Harrogate, Taunton, Swansea, Swindon, Durham, Newcastle, Lincoln, Brighton, Brighton, Southam, Bury St Edmunds, Lancaster, Kendal, Newbury, Hull, Huddersfield, Coventry, Nottingham, Crewe, Salford. The Crewe life seems beautiful, Susie.

Is it? Yeah, that's a beautiful one. The thing is, is that I have leapt up to the really beautiful theatres now. Oh, that's when you're on a win. We're Leeds City Varieties. Leeds City Varieties is a beauty. Lancaster Grand's beautiful as well. Oh, it's haunted.

It's haunted, Lancaster Grand. Yes, I think I sat in the wings and watched your whole show at Lancaster Grand because I was too scared to stay in a dressing room by myself. That says a lot about what would make you watch my show. You shared a bedroom because Josh was scared once, didn't you? Yes, yes, yes, we did. Yes.

Well, it was more two twins next to each other rather than sharing a bed, I think. Yeah, I know that. But if you are on tour and you have tour support, which you were for Josh there, there is a sort of hierarchy as in any industry. And I do think inviting the female junior into your bedroom at night because you're scared, in inverted commas. Yeah, it was just once. And she was scared as well.

No, it wasn't. No. Oh, Josh Diddy, Josh Witty. You said, let's top and tail. And I said, all right. Puff Witty out on the prow in Lancaster. Oh, God. The most sexless generation of comedians of all time. So how's the tour show going? It's more or less there, isn't it, at this point? Yeah, I'm happy with it. I'm really happy with it. It's nice,

isn't it, when you get to the bit where you're like, oh yeah, I'm good at this and people like it and we're having a nice time. Yeah. And this is just really fun. And I think I never really, no, I don't know if you're going to agree with this, but I'm still like really chuffed that this is my job. I really love it. It's great isn't it? Yeah, it's brilliant. Is it Josh? Yeah, it is.

I was in Hartford last night. Fang. Friends and Hartford. There's nowhere I'd rather be. No, I'm kidding. But yeah, I just love it. I just, I love, I love touring. I would say my favourite thing to do is stand up. I really enjoy writing the book as well. But my favourite

thing to do is stand up. And what's the show about then is it is called the juggle. So is it called the juggle? So look, I'll be honest with you. Initially, it was about me trying to juggle loads of things because I needed something nice and broad because I hadn't written the show yet. Yeah, classic. Sure listeners will know like you have to give the title before you go on the road, before you write the show rather. Then I started like really working on it proper. And now, now what it is about is it's about, it's that I wish I was who my daughter thinks I am. She thinks I'm great. She thinks I'm really brave and I'm really strong and that I can do

anything. And I am sort of consumed by self-doubt. So the show is a bit about that and a bit about me sort of trying to be a bit more like what she thinks I am, but obviously getting it wrong. And then lots of other bits and bobs as well. Do you ever talk to her about, do you feel like that? Because obviously you've got your book, which is about anxiety. Do you ever, because I have my daughter sometimes say like, oh, I'm worried about this, worried about that. And I found what's really helpful is I say, well, sometimes at work, you know, cause you feel like you need to be this sort of pillar

of strength, but actually, cause they already think you are that. If you show them some vulnerability, it makes them feel seen and better. Cause they go, well, you go off and do this, but you feel worried at work or someone's not nice to you at work. I sometimes say that to them.

I don't know how much you talk to them about your, she's only five still, which is still young. No, I do do that. Like, you know, if she says, oh, you know, I'm really scared. There's a ghost in my room. I'll be like, yeah, I'm scared. There's a ghost in your room too. Good night. And then you burst into tears and then leave. Weirdly, you say, Josh Whitacombs come around. Uncle Josh is creeping in later. No, I think you're absolutely right, Rob. And I think that those conversations are really, really useful. I mean, one of the things with the book is that... So the book's called Am I Having Fun Now?

Yes, Am I Having Fun Now. It's very well written, Susie. Oh, thanks Josh. Can I just say, you've taken to writing like a Dr. Water. Oh, I appreciate you saying that. The kind of cliche that you wouldn't have come up with because you're certainly when you're sitting down to write. It's a beautifully written book and it's about kind of your lifelong anxiety and it does explain a lot of the things that I have witnessed. A lot of the moaning that I've had in the tour car. What for me? Yeah. What am I

moaning about? No, I've moaned about quite a lot. About not getting live at the Apollo for years. No, it's fine. I did. I should have got a lot sooner. You're right. There were people that I should have got out. No one's ever thought they've got it too soon, have they? No one's ever gone, oh God, this is too soon.

Audiences have. Can I just say, I opened up my phone to look at the press release. Yeah. And there's something called Meta AI on WhatsApp. It's listened to my voice and I've obviously said Susie's show or Susie Ruffall and it's taken down Suzanne Shaw who's from... I still love her. I still love her.

It says Suzanne Shaw's fitness routine. It's just sent me Suzanne Shaw's fitness routine. I think you've got my algorithm. Yeah. And that's exactly what happened, Your Honor. I had a massive crush on Suzanne Shaw when she was in hearsay. Oh yeah. That was huge for me back in the day.

Sorry, carry on. No, I was just agreeing. The thing that I was going to say though was at the end of each chapter, I sit down and talk to like an expert. So I talked to psychologists and like child therapists and all kinds of different people. That was a thing that the child therapist said a lot of like talking to kids and, you know, letting them in on you getting stuff wrong and the fact that, you know, we all make mistakes.

Because I'm getting a lot wrong. But as long as you sort of come clean about it, apparently that's enormously useful for your kids because they can be like, oh well, relationships can repair. And if you do something wrong, it doesn't mean that it's wrong forever. It just means you got something wrong. Yeah. I apologize if I'm a bit too shouty in the morning or something. Sometimes I've overreacted rather than just an awkward silence in the car.

I'll say, oh, I'm sorry about that. Yeah. A hundred percent. I'm just fucking tired. Daddy's just working very hard. Daddy's working hard because you are slightly more expensive than I thought you were going to be, and we like holidays.

Now get to school. The chapter on children is called, am I fucking up my kids? Something along those lines, isn't it? How do you know you're not fucking up your kids? How do you know you're not fucking up your kids? What were the great, like the main tips from the child psychologist on that? Well, I would say that the apologizing is really

important and firm boundaries is so good. She gave me actually a really good tip. So I worry about spoiling her. I don't want her to be a brat, which she's not, you know, but I worry about that. We were talking about that for a little while and she said, one of the things that she does is if they go out for the day and afterwards she wants a toy, but the treat was going out for the day, they take photos of things. Then when it gets to their birthday and they're like, oh, I don't know what I want, they go through all the photos and remember the things that they really want.

That's good. Then the things that they have in their room are things that have actually made an impact and stayed with them and gone, oh, I do really want that teddy bear of that sort. Rather than just always getting a thing because then the things become sort of meaningless. How are you finding those photos in your phone, Susie? Well, I've got a little... Have you got a little folder? Yeah.

Oh my God. Well, my daughter, since she wanted a hamster and we got a little folder? Yeah. Oh my God. Well, my daughter, since she wanted a hamster and we made a save for it and we thought she'd forget about it, she did not forget about it, save for two months. She fucking loves this hamster more than life itself and gets it out every day, like helps me clean it, holds it, looks after it, does its water. And like, whereas if I'd just gone, all right, then let's go down pets at home and just get it for one Saturday, she'd never look at it.

Then it's been a really good sort of lesson in like teaching them to save stuff. And that's my massive tip I give when anyone goes to Disney. Disney is just shops everywhere designed at kids and they go, can I have this, can I have that? And obviously you want to get them stuff because they're at Disney. Don't want to be the parent that doesn't get them that stuff that they want. But then we do that photo things. And then the day before we go home, we do shopping day. And that's when we get the phone out and we go, let's try and find these things again and go back to those shops and then decide what they want. I've got to answer the door. I've got to answer the door.

You two carry on for one minute. Sorry. I'm in on my own. Oh, Rose's deliveries. A lot of Rose's deliveries. A lot of Rose's deliveries. I don't think Rose wants him to have a beard and that's why he's not having a beard. Let's discuss this before he comes back. Because I think if she wanted him to have a beard,

he'd probably give it a go because I think he'd love a beard. I think he's got quite beard vibes. I think he's well bearded. I'm sure I've seen him with a beard. He's got his own head about the lowness of it, I think. I don't think it's true. I think that maybe he should try a goatee. I don't. Or a handlebar mustache. I think mustaches are in at the moment though. They're quite cool.

Has Ron still got a mustache? Last time I saw him he Or a handlebar mustache. I think mustaches are in at the moment though. They're quite cool. Has Rumbas still got a mustache? Last time I saw him he had a tash. Yeah, he's flirting with it. He sort of goes in and out of it. We had to get tashes when we went to India to do Bollywood. It was part of the thing. So we had it there, but he looks, it really suits him. He looks very official.

He looks like he should be in charge of something. Well, he's so fit these days, isn't he? He's super fit actually, yeah. He's a pretty sexy guy. I mean like sexy, yeah. Yeah, he has got sexier. The glow up from when you obviously saw him when he first started from being that tall. Oh my god. Think of Romesh on stage at the Funny Farm Brighton to now.

Oh my god. Shut my eyes, I can see it. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard. When the barbecue's lit, but there's nothing to grill. When the in-laws decide that, actually, they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer, so download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus, enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees exclusions and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Is there anything else you want to get off chest about, Josh,

while we're here? Yeah, I think he could be sexier. I think he's gone into a 40-year-old man too soon. Oh. I think getting the beard going, tighter clothes. I think he's got more in the locker than he's giving out. Do you know what I mean? Do you think he's sort of given up?

No, I think he's given up, but I don't think he's as confident in himself as he should be. And I think he's a sexy young buck that all the chicks will go wild for if Gok Wan got his hands on him. I mean, I'm not sure. I think you could get Josh walking down a catwalk in a shopping center with Gok Wan cheering him on.

How would you change his style? I'd get a beard on him. I've got it, Rob. You really want Josh to grow a beard. I've got that. Yeah, I think he should. I think sometimes his trainers look a bit dirty. I think he needs to look fresher, crisper.

Do you know what I mean? I think he's still doing that student indie sort of- Yeah, it's just more expensive. It's just a more expensive version of how he dressed 10 years ago. Or just cleaner. So what we're saying is Josh needs a wash. He needs a wash and a beard. A wash but not a shave.

Yeah, okay. I wonder if he's back on the call yet and he's just been listening to this and crying. I don't know. I don't know what he's got to get. I mean, I feel like we could carry on with talking about parenting, but I feel like once he gets back, it will sort of, he'll be panicking about to readjust. Oh, here he comes. Jesus Christ. That was him. He's late for Easter already. Two fucking, look, I've sent you photos,

fucking biggest plant pots I've ever been. Look at the size of those fucking plant pots. Oh yeah, they are big. Jesus. And he was like, fucking hell Josh, they're bigger than your garden. I know, we've got two plant pots, right, okay. I've got no knowledge of these plant pots.

I mean, imagine if Rose hasn't ordered them. If they're... Next door. Oh God. If they're next doors. They look very heavy. Yeah, it took two men to bring each one in. Oh my God. Really, you should have asked them to put it in the garden.

Yeah, they weren't up for that. No, you got the vibe. Oh yeah, give them a five for each other, doesn't it? Well, yeah, unless they've got chip and pin. Sorry, what did I miss? for that. No, you got the vibe. Oh yeah, give them a five for each, they'll have done it. Well, yeah, unless they got chip and pin. Sorry, what did I miss? Nothing actually. Are we talking about how you could get sexier? Well, I'd say you could, I think you could be sexier than you are.

I think you've got the tools, but I don't think you're utilizing them enough. Go on, talk to me about how you sex me up. I think that you could wear a fresher, crisper clothing. I think you're still going for that sly, indie, lead singer, dirty converse night vibe. Just a bit fresher, crisper clothing. I think you're still going for that slight indie lead singer, dirty converse night vibe. Just a bit fresher and crisper. So talk me through my sexy, crisp outfit.

I don't know, I just think maybe- Chino's. Yeah, but slightly more fitted. I think you wear very relaxed stuff. Yeah, that's true. But I think you've got quite a muscular frame. I think you could go- I have got a muscular frame. A little guilty as charged.

No, but I think you could be like slightly tighter, more form fitting and whiter crisper trainers so it looks fresher and a bit tighter. You go for more relaxed stuff and a bit more like conversing. Do you know what I did yesterday, Rob? I had a TV record yesterday. Clang. Clang. I got there and my trainers were dirty. Oh yeah. And I thought this isn't good enough. And I gave the run in my debit card and said, could you go and buy me some trainers?

Nice. There you go. Yeah, there we go. What did they bring back? What ones? The exact same ones you had that were dirty? Yeah, because I was like, I'm not going to make you choose. I really hope you were really close to a shoe shop. Yeah, yeah. It was the BBC. So it was next to the Westfield. Right. Okay. Fine. Because the idea of you sending a runner like from Elstree talks for circus. No, but that's the best thing that could happen to you if you're a runner, is that you get sent out to do something like that.

Because you get a celebrity's credit card. Yeah. To go to kids shoe to buy some Converse. I don't have to pay VAT on them. Anyway, it's back to you, Susie. Are you going to sell your book at the gig on a table at the end? I see that sometimes. Yes, there'll be a bit of that.

And also if people want to pre-order it, which is very helpful for the book, and then bring a copy to the tour show, there'll always be time afterwards for me to sign them and say hello if people want that. Are you going to be setting up in the foyer? I would have thought so, yeah. The only problem is the venue takes a cut of your sales if you do that. Do they? Am I having fun now it's called? Anxiety, applause and life speed questions answered by Suzy Ruffles.

But the good news is Suzy, you've got to reach your thing to make profit anyway. So they're only really at this early stage taking a cut of the sales. That's true. Of the publisher. Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Because another way people do it is they sign them backstage and they just put them out

there, but that's not as personal, is it? Do you always go out and see everyone? Yeah, I do actually. I do because people- Every single show. Yeah. If I'm staying in that town, I will. But if I need to get off, I will, I'll go straight off stage in the car and get on the

motorway to get over. Yeah. There's a handful of times when that happens, it sort of depends. Like, you know, if you got an early start the next day, then of course it can be impossible. But I do try to because, you know, because my audience are really nice and they'll be well, like, you know, they're really lovely people and they just want to say hi. And at the end of the day, Suze, what you should do, I'd say, and you can announce it here, is you could set up a table with the books on just outside the stage door so that you

don't have to pay the theatre. You'll meet them outside the stage door and you'll just sell them in the street. Oh, that's a good idea. Also, if people are interested, I do have some fake Rolexes. So I have them as well. Exactly Oh, that's a good idea. Also, if people are interested, I do have some fake Rolexes. So I have them as well. Exactly, you could have a little stuff. It's gonna be quite funny

if you came out with a big sort of long coat on and then opened it like a watch salesperson and have all the books in there and sell them during the gig. We've also got a few channel belts. The gooky belt, the famous gooky belt. Roy Binn sunglasses going. Whatever people want, let me know. If people were, this is a difficult question.

Yeah. If I thought, I don't want, I really like Susie Ruffell, but the tour and the book feels a bit much. Oh, God. Which should I choose? I would say just you're a bastard. Can I answer this for you as your financial representative tour, because you'll see more money out of that longer.

I think there's space for both. I do think if you're going to go and sit and watch a comedian for two hours, you've got time to read the book later that year. Yeah. You know, you haven't got to do it in the interval. And also there'll be people that are listening to this that don't know me very well. So I've got a special that's just gone on YouTube. That's my last tour.

So if people want to have a look at that, if you watch that and then you hate me, maybe I'm not for you, but if you watch it, enjoy it. Come along. Come along. So you've moved to the word, this is a sign of my age. Go on. You've moved to the word special, but I'm struggling with the word special. We discussed this.

Well because you've not got. No, no because. Yours is quite mundane. But you once had a DVD, didn't you? but I'm struggling with the word special. We discussed this at Charlie's But you once had a DVD, didn't you? So what do you call it then? Someone's show that goes on so it? I do call it a special, but I struggle with it. The one that really does my head in and makes me feel like an old comedian. Is when there's women on the bill. But luckily I make sure that doesn't happen.

He just watches the first series of Mock the Week over and over again. The good old days he calls it. Now this is special. This is a bit in comedy, but when someone refers to a work in progress as a whip, it makes me... Oh really? I'm doing a run of whips in Edinburgh. Fuck off.

Fuck off. I think that you've not got enough problems. Correct. Correct. And I'm having to come up with 50 minutes of them every week and well, Suze, so it's a fucking nightmare. Suze can't even go on holiday without getting abused, so you're worried about people using the word whips.

Have you thought about going on holiday with another couple, Suze, that then sort of like you and your own little crew then? Yeah, that'd be nice. Exposed. Because that's what we enjoy that sometimes. And sometimes we do that because the bigger the group, even with like people coming up and wanting selfies and stuff, which you don't always want to do on holiday if you're on a sun lounger. If you're with another little crew, it sort of builds your own little nucleus. Do you know what I mean?

No, that's what we're doing this year. So I'm looking forward to that. What about your new school friends, even though your daughter hates their son? No, she doesn't. She really likes them. I'm joking. to that. What about your new school friends, even though your daughter hates their son, but you could go with them. No, she doesn't, she really likes them. I'm joking, I'm joking, I know she does. The dad works in wine, the mum wears a neckerchief, look. Oh, yes please. Susie. Yes.

When's the book out? Do you know what, the book is out on the 5th of June, the tour starts on the 5th of June. Oh my God, what a day, huge day. Yeah, a big day for me. And have you got to do loads of promo on that day? I think I've got a little bit. You're only in Bracknell, you're only in Bracknell, it's not too far. Yeah, I mean in my head it was like, oh my god that'd be such a cool thing that like the 5th of June

everything happens and now part of me is like oh god, oh god the 5th of June. You can have a book launch at the Coral Reef swimming pool in Bracknell. Why not? Yeah, I'm gonna do that. Do that. Thanks for your help. On the waterslide talking about anxiety, throwing all the books down. Why have you been there, Rob? I nearly drowned there once, and it was also in Ali G, the film, because he drove past it. It's a big part of my childhood, when I used to visit family.

Suzie, we've got a final question for you. Yes. You've answered it before though, so I don't know if it's changed, but your partner, the one thing she does with the mother that you go, oh my God, I'm in awe, you're amazing. And the one thing she does that's frustrating and annoying.

And if she was to listen, you'd go, she'd go, yeah, fair enough. Okay. You can start with positive or negative. It's up to you. Now, let me think. Wait a second. I need to get this right because my marriage sort of depends on it. This sounds like really anti-feminist, but she takes so long to get ready. Oh, here we go. You can take the woman out of the clubs, but she's still got the chops to do the Glee Club on a Friday night. Here we go.

And the candles, am I right? Scalp cushions. What are the pillows all about? No, how long it takes her to do her hair, honestly, is like a mission, but that's not really about parenting. No, but say you were all going out, that would be annoying, would it? Well, yeah, because then I've got to get myself and the child ready. Yes.

In the time that it takes for her to get ready. Yeah, and I'd say getting yourself ready is in a way, it's a break. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I'll put a podcast in, honestly. Yeah, exactly. If you're sat around moaning about women and how long it takes them to get ready, but with a woman as you are. As I am, exactly. If you're sat around moaning about women and how long it takes them to get ready, but with a woman as you are, is this problematic or is this great? Because

I'm buzzing off it. I think it's fine. It's a new way to project old views. Yeah, I think it's fine, but don't trust me. That's what I'm saying. Also, is your mother-in-law a nightmare, so be honest. No, actually, she's really handy. She I would not, I know it's not a fun one for me to say. They normally are just prickly at the start. But she's great. Oh God. She really gets us out of a sticky situ when it's like, if I've got a last minute gig or something.

Yeah. Oh, she's so good. She's so good. Now what's the positive for her? For Alice? Wifey. I mean, she's just brilliant. She's very good at parenting and she's very good at, I mean, from a relationship standpoint,

she's really good at sort of encouraging me and making me believe in myself. Oh God, this is deep. And then parent wise, she always says she's the nuts and bolts and I'm the one that's doing like mad shit or like taking them out and do it. And I think that without the nuts and bolts, we don't really like, none of it works. We just wouldn't work without her. She's the anchor. Is she the default parent, would you say? Yes. And she's the one that my daughter wants when things go wrong, which I think is really

telling because sometimes my daughter looks at me and will be like, I'm not trusting you because you're a fucking idiot. Welcome to my life. You're already crying, mum. Whereas with Alice, it's like there's a grown up here, everything's going to be fine. Oh, and that is also how I feel, which must be exhausting for Alice. At least you're on tour, gives you a bit of a break. Oh my God.

Yeah, absolutely. Thanks Susie. Good luck with everything. The, am I having fun now out on the 5th of June? And obviously the tour, the juggle is out. Well, you're on tour from the 5th of June. Good luck with it. It's been lovely to chat. Loving to chat. I'm dreading listening to the bit where I wasn't here. No, it's great. Actually, we glaze you up actually. Susie said you looked a bit dirty,

but apart from that, I was glazing your heart. I did not, that was you. Thanks, Susie. Bye, then. I need to iron my clothes more, Rob. I am aware of that. But do you iron your clothes? No, I don't. But the lady that does cleaning our house does do some ironing. So that's really helped, obviously, because I used to live out of a bag and everything looked crisp. No, all I'm saying is, I think you, if we've slightly more fitted clothes, you'd look,

but if you get the right material, it looks a bit sort of smarter and sharper, but still cool. Rob, we'll start next week with you sending me some pictures of example clothing. How sexy you could be. Because I don't think it's much different from what you're wearing, but I just think maybe a little bit tighter. I'll be honest with you're wearing. But I just think maybe a little bit tighter. I'll be honest with you Rob, in East London, I am far more fitted than most people. Yes, well that's the thing. Maybe I'm old and I've got it all wrong because, you know, there's like

big baggy jeans everywhere now. People have got fucking juggler's trousers on left, right and centre where I live. To be fair, I was only messing about and we're trying to fill time, so I don't even know if I meant it. I'll see you on Tuesday. Right, bye. I think that's the whole podcast, trying to fill time and don't even know if I meant it. Bye.

Bye. How do you know if you're worrying too much? How can you mend a broken heart? Does peaking at school ruin you for life? I'm Susie Ruffall, a stand-up comedian and someone who has always experienced anxiety. And I've written a book, Am I Having Fun Now? considering some of life's big questions. Featuring bonus insights from the likes of Charlene Douglas, Sarah Pascoe, Elizabeth Day and Dolly Auderton. Am I Having Fun Now? is out now in hardback, eBook and audio.