Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S10 EP33: The Post Holiday Blues Brothers

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... this episode Rob and Josh discuss the highs and lows of respective recent family holidays. If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please follow and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx MAILING LIST: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now at NoFriills.ca. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Whiticum. Welcome to Parenting Hill, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting,

each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. I think they gave me the code for the style of Wi-Fi. Yeah. And the password had a hashtag in it.

Oh. And for some reason, the hashtag doesn't work on my keyboard. Oh no, copy and paste? Yeah, but I couldn't get online to copy and paste it, could I? Oh no! So I had to log on with the normal Wi-Fi to copy and paste a hashtag to do the password to the staff Wi-Fi.

Did you Google hashtag? Yeah, I Googled the word hashtag. Copy and paste that, then use that to, Google the word hashtag. Yeah. Copy paste that then use that to log into the style for I find Yeah, so I so that's why I logged in with the worst Wi Fi first because I was like I should just show my face while I'm doing this. That Wi Fi was so bad. I could I could hear you perfectly. I don't know what the problem was.

Well, I think your Wi Fi. My Wi Fi is great. Yeah, fair enough. Why does your hashtag, how many hashtags do you pumping out at the start of Twitter? You've worn out the key. No, no, no, no. It's above the three. Yeah. When I did it, it made, it just wouldn't do it. And you know that Apple sound where it goes, do like, like you've done something wrong. Well, on my keyboard, I've got a- Like I'm not allowed a hashtag. Well, on my Apple keyboard, I've got a three, but above it's the pound sign and to the right of it's the hashtag.

I've got no idea how you get there. Did I buy this in America or something? I've only got a dollar. Maybe I bought... I can't remember. Maybe I bought this... I might have bought this in America and hence the hashtag problems. I've got a lira. I've got Drakma. Do you know what? How good is the euro? Because imagine like going on holiday now, you're like you'd be Drakma, be Franks and be lira.

Do you remember how many liras it would be for like a pound? It would be like two million liras. You're like what the fuck is going on there? Lads, let's have a meeting and knock a zero off. Let's just take it to 200,000 for the coffee, yeah? Shall we do Eliza's intro, Rob? Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with... Eliza, can you say Rob Beckett? Fucking hell.

Say Rob Beckett. She's got your Wi-Fi from the start. Yeah. And can you say Josh Widicombe? I mean, I don't want to, I'd say your daughter was let down by your own quality there. I know she's recorded. Where was that recorded? I mean, it was recorded in Lincoln.

I can tell you that. That's all I can tell you. People in glass houses trying to record a podcast with terrible sound, AKA me and you. Also, yeah. Also, glass house is a terrible place to record a podcast with terrible sound, AKA me and you. Should throw stones. But also Glass House is a terrible place to record a podcast. Michael, Michael will tell you the echo is going to be awful. That conservatory podcast he did for a bit just got canned. You can't, he just couldn't sustain because the whole point was being in the conservatory. Exactly.

Just people echoing and talking about being too hot. It's lovely. It's lovely in the autumn, just when it's a bit colder. You can tell we've had a week off. I know. Conservatories as popular as they used to be. They were everywhere when we were kids. They were huge. But then I'm thinking the bi-fold door really took a march. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what's happening now with the bi-fold.

I don't know if that's still a thing. What is a bi-fold door? It's just a big glassy door, right? No, it's not a big glassy door. It's a door that folds. Oh, yeah, yeah, folds back on itself. Like a kind of... Organ, like a...

Yeah, yeah, like accordion. Accordion, that's what I meant. Is that what you say was an organ? Well, they've both got keys. It's, Michael's already worried about the edit. Hi, this is where this goes. There's an energy to this episode. Oh, it's wild. I feel so much about start going on a chat about the Stockport Plaza on plan this week. I love the Stockport Plaza. It was the last place I played

before COVID. I was chatting. Luckily, the sales are so low, I was already socially distancing. Oh, yeah. So who's now I was just gonna say Stockport Plaza. I vividly remember people got coughing and then making a joke about it. And it was got worried. Yeah. It got to the point where it wasn't funny. Anyway, this is my 26 month old aka two daughter Eliza. It sounds like she was in the bath because she was in the bath. There

you go. Right. That explains the bad sound quality. The youngest of my three daughters, Poppy is seven, Sophia is six, and the third is definitely the most feral and my standards have definitely dropped. Five. So that's interesting. A one year gap, then a five year gap. No, no. Seven, six and a two. Yeah. I always remember Harry Hill had a big gap when we

interviewed him and he said like, they weren't sure and then it was the best thing they ever did. And I sometimes think about that. I know what you mean though about that third because when you're if you have children when you're in a bit more of a calm ahead space, and maybe financially you're in a bit more of a calmer headspace and maybe financially a bit more settled and also house, you're in the family home. That is, we are, I'd say, at the knocking of the door of the... Oh, you tell it to God.

No, I'm not. I'm saying both. No, not me and Lou. I mean, us and people and children of our age. Absolutely not. No. I think it would be good actually. The only problem is if we do by sort of wanting to. Oh you're gonna do it? No, no, no, no. Are you gonna have another kid? Are you thinking about it?

Oh wow. If you do. I don't like you after a holiday, you're all fucking full of beans. I like sad Josh. This is what's working with you is like Rob one slip up and you're on it. Oh God, it's exhausted. I feel so weak. I feel like a hyena on me and I'm a little deer. So like you and Lou when you're trying to try to your third baby.

No, but I was saying if it happened, whether we plan to or not plan to, Michael's gonna have to have a deep edit to just edit out all the times ago. I do not want another kid because they is. God Michael, you'll have to go back. I don't want to, not that you are, but Michael, if I was you, I'd start flagging those edits now. Now, I still reminisce about the episode where someone shared the clip of her listening to you when she had a car accident unharmed, of course, and you couldn't believe how unbelievably boring you both were. You had to listen to it twice because I couldn't stop laughing. Thanks for being sexy and relatable. Love Emma. No, 395 months old Lincoln.

Oh, good on Lincoln. Very flat Lincoln. Very nice. Oh, you was in the best hotel in Lincoln last week. I was in the best hotel in Lincoln last week and now I'm in the best hotel outside Shrewsbury. Did I tell you about when I had to kill a day at Coventry Industrial Estate? I'm glad you said day. I'm talking about when I killed a man. You what, sorry? When you had to kill a day at Coventry Industrial Estate? No.

We were driving from Aylesbury to Stoke day on Coventry Industrial Estate? No. We were driving from Aylesbury to Stoke and the best thing to do was to drive. I don't think it was. Well, I don't think any of it was, none of it was sort of like, it's not exactly like Santorini and Capri. We had to get from Aylesbury to Stoke. So we decided to start a hotel on industrial estate in Coventry. When we arrived,

normally you arrive at 1am, midnight, it's empty, just checking out there, they'll be ready for you. We arrived, I'd say there was 500 people in the bar that had just come out of a snooker convention. What, like a tournament? Yes. And it was heaving. What kind of people go to watch the snooker? I'd say people I'd never seen before out in person.

It was a new, I'd call it a new bunch of guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, sometimes you get on the train and it's like full of just like, people in like almost like all in the exact same clothes, like you're all, and you go, oh, there's like a death metal concert or something going on, or like bringing in Horizon on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you go past a gig venue and you're like, what is this? Trying to work it out by the people.

Well, if you go up to Glasgow and you stay in that Crowne Plaza, if you're filming up there by the TV studios, there's the, what's it called? The Armadillo. So the only place to drink around there is that Crowne Plaza and it's massive. So you just get like, we were there once and there's just loads of people dressed like Kiss. We're like, oh, Kiss must be on. Anyway, we stayed in this hotel and it was absolutely fine.

And then the next day we went, I went to the cinema to see Final Destination bloodlines, which is quite- Keep it blank. I kept on sitting open and then get me. Go on, get me. Just walking in front of logs falling off of- And then the only, then basically as well, I've eaten...

The only thing I used to eat there... No, well, I've eaten a lot of Nando's and there was a KFC and I thought I can't do... I had Nando's the night before. I'd probably have Nando's again in Stoke, which I didn't because there is no Nando's in Stoke. But anyway, I had a KFC because that was the nearest place to the... I'm in there. And this guy comes up to me and goes, what are you doing in there? I went,

what? To be fair, it's a fair question. Why are you on a KFC? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm gigging and this is sort of on the way. So I'm having something sweet on the way. But why have you come in? I went, well, there's not many options around. This is like the only other place and I had to tell him I had Nando's the night before and I don't want to have it again in Stoke. And I'm like, oh, for fuck. And I was like, yeah, it's just, I was like, mate, it's literally this or the horrendous sandwiches Starbucks do.

Do you know what I mean? Also the Starbucks sandwiches, I felt, I swear, I swear they're doing it bad on purpose. They can't be bothered, can they? They can't be fucking bothered. Everything in that bit in that fridge of the Starbucks is so half-hearted. It's fucking unbelievable. The coffee. I like the coffee to be honest. But that section is like, have you ever looked in there mate? Anyway, so I was explaining to them, this is KFC. And then he went, yeah, what are you doing in there? Why this one? And I went, excuse me, mate, you could you live here.

You could be in your house. You decided to come here at 11am. This is all I've got before bloodline starts at quarter past 12. Oh, God, do you want to know how bleak eating on tour is? Well, you know, yeah, always alone, always alone. And I don't want to just go for random places because it's too much of a gamble before a show. Yes. But I don't like eating the same thing every night. Yeah.

So I try and bury it. See, I've just accepted my fate and I'll basically do Nando's or Pizza Express. So I do Nando's, Pizza Express or Wagamama. Or my fourth option, which is M&S soup and salad and a yogurt. Oh, that's the worst. Sorry, I didn't realize she was a pensioner on a day trip. I know and I do that quite a lot. Lindsay Santore was supporting me last night. So she couldn't believe it last night. Anyway, me and Ali tonight, two weeks ago, Ali was like, he brought Nando's, he was like, the news is they're getting rid of the halloumi and

mushroom wrap. We were like, I can't believe this. Anyway, I was in Nando's. I was in Nando's on Sunday with my kids. And I noticed they've got a new Halloumi burger. And me and Ali last night were talking for too long about how we're both going to try the Halloumi burger tonight in Shrewsbury and how excited we are. And I was like, so should we do it tomorrow night? We'll have the new, we'll both get the new Halloumi burger and see what it's like. So that's tonight, is it? Yeah, that's tonight. What a fucking pathetic life. Fucking, I thought about it this morning. I thought, I look forward to that.

It's only twenty past nine now. I know, but I just, fuck it now. I was on holiday Rob Yeah, and bloke came up to me on Friday bear in mind. I did crew yesterday This is yeah, so last Friday anyway, I'm going to see you on tour and I was like, oh, where you coming? Bear in mind, you know, there's a lot of options Yeah, and he said crew and I was like that's in 48 hours and we're in Greece together. That is weird. That is odd Very odd. Tell me about your holiday. Tell me about my holiday. That is weird. That is odd. Very odd. Tell me about your holiday.

Tell me about my holiday. It's good. I tell you what, mate, I'll be honest with you, I do like chatting to you, but I still want to be on holiday. Yeah, I was so good to come back. It's so good holidays, isn't it? I felt so... Rob, this sounds pathetic.

Go on. So we were there Friday to Friday. Okay. Yeah. I don't give a fuck, mate, about the rules of these educational establishments. We need to, this needs to be sorted. I think there needs to be, the fact that you get fined for taking kids out, right? It is mental where how much more money it is the week before, week after.

They're going to have to up those fines if they want people to make. What's going to have to be a grander kid? Yeah. The difference is so much. The difference is insane for one day. Yeah, exactly. And they do nothing on that last day. They do nothing on that last day, Rob.

So we flew Friday morning. I got the car down from Lincoln. Yeah. Went into the hotel. Uh, then Rose brought the kids to the airport. She was quite, she was quite stressed in the morning. Full disclosure. So when did you get the car? You got the car down from Lincoln Thursday night?

Yeah. So I got to the hotel at 1am and then got up at like six or whatever. So I'm confused. What? To get- The hotel at the airport? Yeah. So you went from Lincoln gig all the way to the hotel airport so Rose had got all the kids and all the stuff to the airport? Yeah. No yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. So Rose has got all the kids and all the stuff to the airport. Yeah.

First day night. No, she came Friday morning and met me there. I'm so right. You went from Lincoln to Heathrow? Yep. And stayed overnight? Yep. And then Rose...

Why didn't you just go home and help Rose get to the airport? Because to get home would be an extra hour and then I'd have to get up. From Lincoln? Yeah, because... That's bollocks. It's not bollocks. home would be an extra hour and then I'd have to get up. I'd have only had about... A walk in? Yeah, because... That's bollocks. It's not bollocks. Lincoln's on the East Coast. You live East?

Yeah, but Rob... It would have taken... I don't know what bullshit you've told Rose. I would have had no sleep. Yeah, fuck off. It's got nothing to do with the distance. I bet you it is. You wanted... It is it. You wanted some sleep. Yeah, I did want some sleep.

Yeah, of course you wanted... Yeah, probably Rose wanted some as well and some else. Because I was getting back... Yeah, but I was want some sleep. Yeah, of course you wanted. Yeah, probably Rose wanted some as well and some hours. Because I was getting back. Yeah, but I was getting back at 1am, Rob. I needed the extra hour. Yeah, but then she needs help in the morning. Well, I sent her some very supportive texts. You little rat.

I don't think I am a little rat. Oh yeah, I think you're going to be judged for this. Just done the maths. It's a three hour, six minute drive from Heathrow to Lincoln or a two hour and four four minute drive to your house. No, that's not true. You've looked at my life. I've just done that now. Well, there was a lot of traffic to East London that night anyway. Right. You can't sweet talk a compass.

Heathrow is West London. Lincoln is East. You live East. It takes a long time to get into London. We've talked about how traffic in my area is. No, mate. That is straight down the A1M, M11. Bosh. You are fucking landing in your front room by midnight.

I was not landing in my front room by midnight. Absolutely. No way. About. Well, about 1am. About 1am and then getting up at 5. That's untenable. Yeah, but Rose managed it. No, she went to bed at 10. Josh. She's a hero.

Josh, flip this. Flip this, right? If Rose... Oh, fuck, we're not on MTV. All right, flip this, mate. If Rose... I can't help it. Someone's on. All right, flip this, mate. If Rose... Look it up, someone's on TikTok too much. Flip this, mate.

Hey, you can't rob Beckett, rob Beckett. Calm down, yeah? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. If Rose was going from a job interior decorating in Lincoln to Heathrow, and you had to finish packing, get two kids to bed. I drove to Cornwall once and met her there. Oh God, yeah, but that's then, this is now.

What do you mean drove to Cornwall once and met her there? You drove on your own in a car. With Rose's mum and her kids. Our kids. Oh, with her mum. Oh yeah, Rob. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're getting back to this. If Rose went from Lincoln to Heathrow...

Let me finish. I know what... I don't need to, I know what you're gonna say. No, let me, you don't know what I'm gonna say. If Rose went from Lincoln to Heathrow and left you to pack the bags, get the kids to bed, get the kids up, get the kids in the cabin, get to Heathrow, you would have a fucking meltdown. What she did. Which is fair enough.

What a, what a, I'm glad you had a good holiday, but fuck me, you're making it hard to enjoy the start for both of us. Rose, I said to Rose, come to the come to Heathrow for the love of God on the Thursday. And I like when we're in separate rooms. So, you know, little Prince can have some sleep. Fuck off. Yeah, I've booked a room for you and the kids, and I'll be in the penthouse,

getting some well-earned shut-eye after entertaining the people of the Lincoln drill hall. I booked her the car, Rob, for 6.30 a.m. Oh, good, you're a wild guy. Which was the wrong time. Which was the wrong time. Well, you booked her a car, didn't make her get on the tube.

Do you want some of her texts? Yeah, mate, I're a water guy. Which is the wrong time. Well, you booked her a car. I didn't make it get on the tube. Do you want some of her texts? Mate, I am so Team Rosie. Yeah, of course, of course. I'm saying I'm Team Rose. I wasn't even bringing this up as an issue. Of course you weren't. You got the best side of it. I bet Rosie's fucking on smoke down the coffee shop with her, mate.

He did what? No. On your own? 6.38? No, her mum was there. Her mum came as well. Okay, that makes it a bit different. But yeah, her mum was there. But so there was less room in the car. Now, this is gonna be a difficult thing to say. With grandparents, and I'm not saying this about Rose's mum. I'm saying in general, there's a tipping point and everyone's parents are at different age where at some point having the grandparents around is

really helpful. It's invaluable, it's so lovely, wonderful, they can help with the kids. I'll take the baby for a walk, I'll put them to bed, you have a sit, you rest. There's a turning point where it's harder because they're as demanding as the child. I would say. I'm not saying that's the situation yet, but I'm saying that's coming around the corner for most people. Yeah, yeah. And I worry about that day when I'm that grandparent. Oh, you'll be fucking tucked up in bed somewhere having a good old rest.

For fuck's sake. Where's granddad? Is granddad coming on holiday? He's in the hotel three streets down, just making sure he gets rest for breakfast. All right. Tell me about... So all I really wanted to tell you... I want to see Rose's texts.

Oh, no, no. Well, I'll just give you some highlights. She was quite stressed. I mean, that is a stress... Yeah, I think you need to be there next time. Does she think that or is she happy with the set? Well, I think, no, we agreed that we'd do it from Heathrow next time and that I wouldn't do a gig the night before, but the gig had gone in first. I remember when we went to Dubai, it was the first time after lockdown and I was in

Northampton and I didn't get the text to say that we'd passed the COVID test until I was en route to the gig. And then after the gig... What do you mean, passed the COVID test? Well, this was a point where you had to have a negative test to route to the gig. And then after the gig... What do you mean, past the COVID test? This was a point where you had to have a negative test to get on the plane. Oh, I see. So it's quite stressful. But I remember after the gig in Northampton, I jumped in the car,

got in the M25, drove past Heathrow, back to my house in Bromley to help Lou get ready for our holiday together. So carry on. You're a hero. You're a hero. And that actually geographically would have been easier for me. But do you know what I am? A fucking legend. You are Rob. You are. Some of us are willing to pay for a hotel, others are a bit tighter on this. They're a covenant industrialist. Oh, it's like that. Yeah. Oh, it's like that. You, you, I tell you

what, you, you find me the best hotel between Aylesbury and Stoke. Yeah. And we will be checking into the snooker convention together. Anyway, shit should have booked the car earlier. He sang 745. They sent a tiny one. Fuck knows. I've getting out of the house was a total dash. Next text. I haven't had time to do anything with their iPads. Next text. We're all crammed in a tiny car and we're not even out of London yet. So you booked your crap car.

Next text did you ask for a larger one? I did ask for a larger one. That's not my fault. We're not using this company again. Okay, respect. I take that back. Consider myself told. Yeah. Have you paid for the cab? I didn't leave any money for the cleaner. Can you get snacks for the kids? I don't think we'll have them time when we get there. This is my worst nightmare. We're still in London. And you're sound asleep at this point. No, I'm not sound asleep. I'm replying to all these. Oh, well done you.

We haven't even got to the holiday. We're gonna have to do two holiday episodes. We haven't even got to the holiday. We're gonna have to do two holiday episodes. Anyway, to cheer her up, I sent her a photo of men's health with Ben Shepard absolutely ripped and topples on the front. Lovely. Lovely. I want to get like that, but he started it when you... It's a fucking effort, isn't it?

He's done by nine in the morning. Well, no, what time? He's done by 11, isn't he? No, he's done by 12, isn't he? I don't know. He's gotten by less and less, isn't he? Aren't they getting rid of the ITV daytime schedule? Fucking hell, his abs are going to be mental now that when they do the rejig. Imagine Ben

Shepherd's abs on part-time work. Anyway, Rob, tell me about your holiday. Well, me and my family stayed at home together. I'll tell you what though, we were getting picked up at, oh, we was on an early flight, which was a bit of an error. I fucking hate early flights. It's such a false economy. It's not good enough. It's too stressful. Flights should be about 11am. It'd be lovely. Well, yeah. But the problem is that in half time, because we went on the Saturday, because we respect the education system. Well, no, actually, problem is that in half time, because we went on the Saturday, because we respect the education system.

Well, no, actually, it's because we are planning on taking them out a bit early on the other holiday. So we got to play the long game play the long game. You got to take a few hits for the bigger. I've played my trump card too early. Exactly, the great and good. I've played my trump card too early. Part-timer. Anyway, so we was on the 8am flight, so I think we got picked up at like 4, 4.30. Fucking hell. The fucking journey to the airport. I mean, it might be better for you. The journey back, obviously I can't speak about the journey there to the airport. It must have been a nightmare. It does sound it from the text. Being driven by someone while you sleep in a duvet in the back to get more sleep.

I didn't get any sleep in the car. I didn't get any sleep in the car. I had to watch a film because my link was going to run out of time the next day. Anyway, early flight. So we was up early and my daughter had been a bit unwell leading up to the holiday. So she came in and we got about two hours sleep because we went to bed late because we were packing because I was working in the day and stuff. And then she woke us up about 1am for an hour. And then we had no sleep. I'd say the journey to the airport was one of the lowest morales

our families ever dealt with. It was almost like we've got it was so tight. But we we slept on the plane. That's good. And then rallied when we got there. And the weather was good. So that was nice. So this is the first holiday when my son was four, Rob. Right. So I get a lot of grief for this. But I always say don't go on holiday until the youngest is four. Yeah, it definitely felt like a new a new dawn. It's a new chapter, isn't it? So the plane is relatively easy. Yeah.

iPad. iPad. Device. Device. Kindle. Kindle. Etch a sketch. Any of them, right?

No. iPads and headphones. And it was totally fine. Do you know what I mean? It's a two and a half hour flight as well what he used to be like oh my god every five minutes it's gonna be a challenge well there was a like a two-year-old on the plane yeah when we flew out that just literally walked up and down up and the parents look so sad I thought I'd and he was itchy grabbing the handles of the door of the plane.

And the parent was so tired of sort of looking at him. And the steward went, can you stop that? He's trying to open the door. The steward did? Yeah, to the parent going, can you, can you tell him to stop? That's the door to the plane. Oh my God. And the parent was a bit like, hmm, you know, it's keeping him entertained.

She's like, yeah, it's the daughter of the plane mate. You can't have a kid fiddling with it. Can I say something about, I don't know if we got unlucky, but the airport coming back and the plane journey was full of, I know there's good people in the world. Yeah. Yeah. Here we go. But I feel like I'm just meeting all the bad ones. I'm I've run a form recently. Well, you are on tour to your audience.

No, no, the gigs are fine. I just feel day to day. I don't know if it's the energy I'm giving off. It's the Coventry Industrial Estates. But on this plane, I was like, who are these? What are these? Who are these? Where are all the good guys gone? Why are people such like just letting their kids play with their Nintendo Switch with the volume on full? No one needs the volume on a Nintendo Switch. No one needs to hear Mario going, the Mario. It's ridiculous. Talking about the worst people ever

at the other end of the spectrum. We went to, you've been there, what you would describe as a family resort. Yes. Rose said, I wish Rob had been here to see this. Our kids were having a laugh at dinner. And someone asked us if we could get them to be quiet. Fuck off. What did you say? You're polite though.

I said to Rose, don't get involved because Rose was fucking libid. Yeah. It was an old, I presume they were twins, like it was a pair of Swedish twins. Oh hello, I'm in now. Male or female? Sorry, I've confused two anecdotes. I watched on the way there. There's two Swedish twins on their own male or female? What age? Female, 40. Right.

Quite stern. On their own, just two Swedish twins. You think you've had enough of each other, you did nine months in the womb. I know. Why have you decided to holiday together in a family resort? When you don't like the sound of children. Actually, if you went there without kids, you are asking for a bit of trouble. I don't really like adult-only results. I find them a bit boring. But you know, and there's loads of sorry,

If you were, you would, the words don't Google the words adult only Swedish twins Rob, whatever you do. Well yeah, actually do do that with adult. What actually was said? I can't remember the words because at some point they must have mentioned they were Swedish. We're Swedish. They said they're Swedish. They did. They said.

We are Swedish twins. Please can you keep the kids quiet? No, the twins was implicit because they looked exactly the same. Right, so they're definitely were twins. Okay, yeah. Yeah, that's why I presume that. Have you ever met identical twins sometimes? You go, you're identical?

And they go, no. And I feel like going, you are. You mate. I presume that you ever met identical twins sometimes you go you're identical and they go No. And I feel like you are you may you I mean you look at each other too long because you are you might be in denial but you are So they weren't I didn't ask them if they're identical but I was yeah, I was putting it on them. And so they just said, could you keep the... We can't hear our conversation. You're like, oh, fuck. It's 8.30pm in a family resort. And...

Did they have iPads out or they're just chatting? Just chatting. Well, excitedly kind of chatting. Yeah. Do you know what? Can you be the Swedish twin and say it to me? And I'll tell you how I deal with it. This Swedish twin and say to say to me Yeah, shouldn't let the swap confused business with pleasure Could you be the Swedish twin I want you can you be the stern Swedish twin, please and I'm being too loud

twinkly. And I'm being too loud. They hated you. They hated the start of this episode when we came in with energy. They prefer the depressed ones. Do you know what I did all of that? I was so chilled at some point. I was just sat there looking at the seat dinner and I, there was nothing in my head in a good way. I was just like, I know. So I've got nothing to say. Then I was panicking. I wouldn't be able to do my job, But I've come back and it's absolutely fine. No problems there. Right, so you're the Swedish twin and you're going to tell me, can you ask? Excuse me, I'm Swedish. Could you keep your,

could your children keep their voices down? Because we can't hear our conversation. No. your could your children keep their voices down because we can't hear our conversation? No. Well that's basically how it played out to be honest. Perfect well done Rose. Just no, no I can't actually. Annoyingly we were getting the bill. It would be easier for you to talk louder. Yeah exactly. I don't know why you need to talk quietly. You're in you're in an outdoor restaurant as well. It's not even an indoor restaurant. And we're outdoor and it's on a beach. Did, what was I going to say? Did I tell you about Tom in Switzerland? The problems I had in Switzerland of restaurants. So it was in a restaurant and we were chatting.

Family, this. No, this was with work, six of us, and it's a restaurant they're very ordered. The Swiss, they love doing stuff in an order a bit like, you know, like Germans get a bit of grief for being like, you know, very organized and everything on time, very efficient. Actually, I didn't find that but the Swiss incredibly like, you have to do everything in the way they want to do it because you try to do anything that goes against the system is a bit rude. And was in there and we're chatting just

chat chat chat. And then the woman, the waitress came over, excuse me, can be quieter. What was that? Can you be quieter? I was like, what? We were literally just talking. Okay, what? Why? What? I'm trying, I'm trying to take orders, but I can't really hear. And then we start we went quiet because it was a bit like for awkward. We realized everyone's just saying that make basic silence eating. Yeah, nothing going on there. Well, name a

Swiss man for it. I don't do you know, even in football, they're all quite workmanlike. Well, there's a story about David Bowie lived in Switzerland. Yeah. And he phoned Bono and said, I've lost my mojo. I don't, I don't. Send the Swedish twins round. Send the Swedish twins round. He's lost his mojo. Like I don't feel like I'm creative. I'm not doing as good a work as I once was.

And Bono said, where do you live? And he said Switzerland. And he was like, there's your problem. And he moved to New York. Yeah. Shout out to our Swiss listeners. Honestly, I did not gel with the Swiss. I don't. They hated me. Yeah, I did not gel with the Swiss. I don't. They hate me. Yeah, I could see that.

I could see that. So I walked in, I was late for work, and I walked in, I just wanted a coffee. And I just went into the, this place is empty. I said, excuse me, can I get a black coffee? He went, sit down. I went, what? I just want to, can I get one, just a quick coffee?

He went, sit down. And then he like, maybe sit down. He walked around, and he was like, can I get you a drink? Because I, yeah, the coffee went, OK. He went off, and he like, maybe sit down. He walked around and he was like, can I get you a drink? Cause I, yeah, the coffee went okay. He went off and he was just gone. But I couldn't, he just couldn't allow me to be, have a coffee stood up. And I just wanted to take it away.

Cause I'd like a thingy cup. I could pour it in. I just wanted a quick coffee. But like, cause we just come back from New York and if you go, excuse me, they go like, sure, no problems. Stand there, buddy. Go to go or had to stay. You're like, I love these guys, but the Swiss are very, very serious. I am. I had the worst time when I did four gigs in Switzerland.

It wasn't the Swiss's fault at all. It was the headliner after two of the gigs decided he hated me and didn't speak to me for the remaining two gigs. Oh, wow, who was it? Well, I won't say, but if you bleep it out. Bleep it out. Oh yeah, he's a prickly guy. He is a prickly guy, yeah.

Very prickly guy. So anyway, he decided he didn't like me and then just ignored me for the final two dates. Like literally like children in a schoolyard. Anyway. That's so pathetic. I know. Tell me about your holiday about the last nine minutes we've got. We'll do it. We'll do another holiday episode. Well, yeah, just have a cat chat one later whenever we're chatting again. Well, I'll

tell you some bad parenting. Now, I normally check the weather and see how hot it's gonna be. Yeah. And sort of plan ahead for the kids sun cream. Okay. So what do you mean? With through the day? Yeah. So it's like, you know, obviously, how hot is it and have a look at the temperature, how sunny it is, and if they're in and out the pool and stuff like that, because they're so pale, our kids. Yeah, anyway, and they've never we've never burnt. So it's always been fine. Anyway, we got there. It was

about 26 degrees. It was perfect weather, bit of a breeze, 26 degrees, sunny bit of cloud, the breeze is the thing that often fools you, isn't it? Exactly. But you could sit in the sun. Like normally I'm sort of scurried to allow a sun, like parasol, but you could be in the sun and it was fine. Actually a little bit, I was a little bit cold getting out of the pool sometimes. Then it got warmer as the week went on. And didn't think anything of it. And then the kids, I thought, oh, they look a bit red. I kept on putting cream on them every like nonstop, cream on, cream on, cream on.

And then they were getting in the pool and washing it off. Anyway, I didn't realize the UV index, now this is something I've never looked at before, but you've got the UV index, it was a 10, was it extremely high. What's it rated on? I think it's out of 10. Oh my God. So it's out of 10. Oh my god.

So it was like extremely high. So for example now in Bromley UV is three. Yeah. Let me try and find out what it is in Spain now. But I think later in the week it went down. So I think it was just a bit like, yeah, so now it's four in Spain. Fucking hell. So it was sort of like- But how does that, I just always just thought, all right, call me-

It goes up to 12, I think. It's 4.6 here today in Shrewsbury. Yeah, so you'll be all right. Yeah, but I always just thought it was how hot's the sun. Either way, my kids' shoulders burnt to a degree I've never seen before, and they were peeling and they couldn't touch them. They had to wear t-shirts in the pool for the rest of the week and then I kept them putting cream on them.

Oh my God. Did it get their faces? Yeah, under their eyes, those little red sheets. Honestly, it was terrible and I felt so bad. But it was the UV that caught us out and I've never even gone to look at that. But we're just gonna have to in a way though, it's quite good because they were like, well, like, oh, this is what happens if we put it on. Do you know what I was thinking that I on this holiday? Yeah. When my daughter wouldn't get out the pool, because obviously, why would you like when you're having fun? And I'm like, let's take a break from the pool. Cause she's never had sunstroke. Yeah.

She doesn't know how, you know, how horrible it can be or how painful and damaging. And I was thinking as awful as it is, not on this, it'd be really useful for kids to get sunstroke once so they know what, cause I know what I'm trying to avoid. She's like, why would I get ill? Why would I get ill from being in a swimming pool in the nice

warm weather? So out the rest of the week the girls wore t-shirts in the pool wore a hat which they would never have normally done. Yeah. And like now we're going to get loose looking into getting if anyone's got any good recommendations of like swimming stuff because sometimes they want the long sleeve things but sometimes it's so tight and uncomfortable. So we're going to try and find some swimwear stuff that goes over the arms and shoulders. Yeah, my kids have like, they look like they're kind of Victorian prudes. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, basically, but that's what they need. Especially if you're going to because I know Australia's got high UV, but I never knew it in Spain. Yeah, it came out. I know it. The GMC employee

pricing event is on now. Get a big cash purchase discount of up to $12,300 on the 2025 GMC Sierra 1500 and the 2025 Sierra HD. With Sierra 1500's premium interior and advanced tech or Sierra HD's impressive power and capability, you'll have everything you need to get from work to play with confidence this season. Hurry in employee pricing is on for a limited time. Visit your local GMC dealer for details. Do you want to hear an interesting fact about UV in

Australia? Oh, yes, please. Have I said this before? It's quite bleak, but it's quite interesting. There's a lot more skin cancer on left arms than right arms. And that is because of them leaning out the window when they drive with their arms. Oh, I didn't know that. So you know like a trucker would lean out the window. So in Australia, there's a big kind of safety thing about not leaning your arm out the window when you drive and getting your arm sunburned. There you go.

Good little fact there. Good little fact. Sydney actually, UV's quite low today. Is it? Well, it's winter now, isn't it? It's going into their winter. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, fair enough.

Yeah, so I know, so keep an eye on the UV and because they're just getting it out of the pool the whole time, but I tell you what's good as well, Gatwick North, yeah? Yeah. You don't have to take your liquids or iPads out of your bags at security. Well, Rob, you say that's good. I went through that exact thing about a year ago when they'd just brought it in. Yeah. And it was a fucking nightmare. Because the security person was berating people to put their stuff back in their bags. So that's teething problems. I know. So as it got through, because it wasn't, it was a bit like iPhone changing their thing

and no one's got the right charger. Everyone was, they were saying, don't take your belts off. Don't take your belts off. And I was like, this is worse. People are doing things and being berated for doing them now. Anyway, you've spent 10 years going iPad's out, iPad's in. iPad's in. Fucking Okie Koki at security. The iPad's out. iPad's in. Yeah. But it literally took as a parent with kids with loads of stuff. It took my day from six out of 10 to nine out of 10 immediately. Yeah, yeah.

Sailed through. It was wonderful. Big up Gatwick North. Big up Gatwick North. Also, Rob, we were talking about the sadness at the end of the holiday. Yeah, this is the worst holiday blues I've had since I was a kid. Do you know what I had? I had that quite I had such a lovely time. I think it's because the kids are older now. It's like hanging out with your mates for a week rather than grafting. We're bringing hope. I really felt like I don't want this to end. I don't want time to move on.

Bob, on Wednesday night, I only had, or maybe it was Tuesday, when I had three days left, I cried tears that it was going to end. Not like bawling, but like, just quite sad, just I felt really sad and blue. Isn't that pathetic? Well, no, I think you're relaxed. So you're when you're relaxed, you can access emotion. Yeah. When you're not relaxed and distracted, you can't so it's good in a way to get out. But it is was the holiday amazing? Or are you unhappy with your actual life? That's the question of a good holiday in Boos.

Because I've, I actually said to Rose when we got back, imagine what, like how lucky I am, because imagine what it'd be like if I didn't like my job. Yes, we're both very lucky to do things we love. So, yeah, and it's so- This is coming from a man sat in the best hotel room in Shrewsbury. didn't like my job. Yes, we're both very lucky to do things we love. This is coming from a man sat in the best hotel room in Shrewsbury. He loves his job. He loves getting up at 9am to chat to me in Shrewsbury alone, waiting for a halloumi burger

with Ali Payne in 12 hours time. And then I'm already looking forward to driving back to London. To Heathrow Airport to have a little kip on his own. Exactly. Before he visits the family. Well, we're going on holiday in seven weeks. I thought I might as well just go to Heathrow and catch up and then meet Rose there. You might as well do the last term of your own. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, I don't want it. It'd be mad for me to go home and then have to go to Heathrow. If I come home and I've like just what, seven or eight hours sleep, you know, it's not, you know, I need to get a good 10 hours sleep. Exactly. Focus on Salisbury. Salisbury, Salisbury. Salisbury. Yeah. Oh, I also did another bad thing. I left my daughter, I left my bag at the hotel. My hand luggage bag, but luckily, because I got a little like, crossbody thing, it had

all the passports into I left my hand luggage bag I had my book in and charges at the hotel luckily my brother who was at the same hotel was still there so he grabbed it so he's got it so that's good news or otherwise it would have been really bad but the problem was my daughter all week had been asking me to do her lines with her for her play which I keep suggesting but she would know now I'm busy I'm busy yeah so I went don't worry, I'll pop them in my bag and do them on the plane. No, no, no, no, no. You're trying to do a good thing. I'm trying to do a

good thing. I'm always trying to do a good thing. Yeah. So I've always thought I better take the photos of the lines in case we lose them or she loses them. Oh, I didn't. I lost them. And then she was like was on the way to the airport. She just sort of like burst into tears. Oh, tears. Anyway, I managed to get them printed off at Celebsko Dating. Big up to Mel and Hugh Slither. One of the main bonuses of our job, Rob, is that the opportunities to get people to print stuff are superb. Yeah, especially because I feel like we're both, people that work with us may think we're different, but I think I'm fairly

low maintenance compared to some people within the industry. So when I arrive and go, Hi, Rob, welcome to the VO. Anything we can get you I might say, Oh, just some water and a black coffee, please. Yeah. And they sometimes go, Oh, we've only got instant is that right? And you know what, that's fine. I'm still water. Yes, please. Yeah, whatever. That's fine. I don't you know, because I've normally had a pretty powerful one already

that day. So I'm like, yeah, that's fine. Keep me ticking. Oh, that's all good. And then go anything else we can do. I go, you won't mind printing this, would you? And it's an easy little job, really, because they're probably all set up in an office. Yeah, but at home, that really makes my day if someone can print something off for me. I just, if we need need something printing, I sort of go to my door and go, when will I be near an office where I know someone rather than me having to get me some app out and have a good old route around. It rained though, didn't it? On your throat.

One day, it rained on one day and it was really tough. We played a lot of Uno. We got into Uno. It's bad from around the start because it's your first day. No, we have one hot day, one hot day. Then we had a rainy day. And then the next day was the pool was fucking freezing. Oh yes. And then, yeah. So that's, it's like a day and a half ruined really.

There's plenty more things. I'll come, let's do them next time. Yeah, let's do some business shout out and we can have more do them next time. Let's do some business shout out and we can have more of a catch up. Yeah, we can have more of a catch up next time. Because I think without Dara is not gonna see much of our kids anyway. Exactly. Good to save it. Randomly stopped on this one. Rob, Josh, producer Michael, hi, can you do a small business shout out for my daughter, Samantha?

She's recently become self employed and started her own dog salon. Woof, wash and trim based in a little town of late and buzzard in Bedfordshire. She can be contacted on social media, Facebook, wolf, wash and trim, Instagram, wolf, wash underscore trim, email Sammy S a M MI at woofwashtrim.co.uk. Thank you. Keep it sexy and relatable at all times, lads. Love, Jeannie, the mum. Okay, here we got another one. Hi Rob and Josh.

I run the York Proms, a classical picnic concert held each year in the museum gardens right in York City Center. I founded it with my late husband in 2017, just before our son was born and now it sells out each year. This year we're expanding to include a Junior Proms the next day on the afternoon of the 28th of July. So the actual Yulk Proms is the 27th, which is aimed at children and young teens and will

feature a fantastic lineup of family, film, favorites, musicals and animations and also star Yulk Dungeons, Jester and Smedley, who will be entertaining the crowd and doing skits during the show. Tickets are on sale now at juniorproms.com and listeners can save 10% on family tickets with discount code RobJosh25. We also offer payment plans to make it easier to budget. Refreshments available on the day,

or you can bring a picnic to enjoy it in the sunshine. We hope to see lots of people there, stay sexy and relatable. Rebecca, 529 months and Logan 91 months. Now, this is a question Rebecca Newman. Now, Rebecca, I had a quick look on the website and you can't actually buy the York proms tickets yet. So in people if you go to the website, you'll proms.com you can register your interest and Rebecca emailing

it when it's when it's up and running fully and we'll give you another shout out. But I got handed this gig in York and Rebecca Newman is a classical musician. She's got two albums here called Cantare, I think. It's in a font I can't read, it's either C or a G. And then Dare to Dream. And she said, I discovered lockdown parenting,

hell in lockdown two in November, 2020. And I used to listen as I pushed my three year old son to nursery in his push chair. We had lost his dad, my husband, suddenly to a heart attack in August, just before my son's birthday. He was only 38 and had undiagnosed heart condition. He was fit and healthy, didn't smoke or drink. And he worked with me on my music career for four years before our son was born. I've never managed to return to it, she said.

You should get back into it, Rebecca and close the sign copy of my number one classical album, which I managed to achieve as an independent artist back in 2014. They go, I haven't listened to it yet. Well, find a CD player, but it must be on there must be on Spotify. And I think I just double check. Yes. So this York Proms raises money for charity. So over the course of it in the last few years, it's raised over 5,000 pounds

for the charity Widowed and Young. So a shout out to that charity too. Well done, Rebecca Newman. Good luck with York Proms. And when you've got the tickets up for sale for the kids one, let us know and we'll give it another shout out. There we go.

Josh, I'll see you next time. See you next time. Bye bye. Hello, Max Rushdon here. You might remember me from series nine, episode two of Parenting Hell. I'm here to tell you about Dog by the Bakery Door, the debut children's book by author Jamie Bruce. Dog by the Bakery Door is a charming story of the magical things a little boy sees on a normal trip the book.