Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S10 EP38: Aisling Bea

Episode Date: July 4, 2025

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian, actress and writer - Aisling Bea. You can find tickets, dates and any other info on Aisling's new show 'Older than Jesus' HERE Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hill, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we chat into chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener,

with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Here you go... Margo. Can you say Rob? Becket.

Can you say Josh? Widdicombe. Good girl. Well done. Very cute. This is Margo, just two. Having a go at your names and mixed success. Though Widdicombe was a decent attempt, they put.

I've been listening since the start, even though I was childless at the time. You're banning me from the school. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm going to be a good teacher. I'm going to be a good teacher. I'm going to be a good teacher. I'm going to be a good teacher. I'm going to be a good teacher. I'm going to be a good teacher. I'm going to be a good teacher. I'm going to having a go at your names and mix success. Though Whitcombe was a decent attempt, they put. I've been listening since the start,

even though I was childless at the time. Your band had helped get through some tough times feeling quite isolated. Now a husband and father, I crave a bit of isolation. Dave and Margot in South Woodford. So my only thing with the name Margot now is that like it's more, become more popular because of Margot Robbie.

Do you think it is because of Margot Robbie? Yeah, because I think what it is is women love Margot Robbie and she's sort of really empowering, cool and beautiful and talented. And they go, isn't Margot a beautiful name? Because it's got a cool edge, but it's also pretty traditional and sounds lovely. And all the blokes go, yeah, I like Waffle Wall Street. Then that ruins it. It's quite weird to name a kid after somebody fancy.

Well, that is why I've never publicly told him that my children are called Jessica, Robert and Pamela Anderson. It's such a bad name. No, Oh, Pammy Beckett, Pammy Beckett sounds like mental. Yeah. Anyway, Josh, before we bring on the guest, Aisling B. You watched the Pamela Anderson documentary? I haven't actually, no. Oh, it's good. She comes across very well.

Okay, well good for her. I met her. When? In the club? No, she was on the when I covered for Romesh, she was on Dermot beforehand. She was just chatting to Dermot O'Leary? She was chatting to Dermot O'Leary and then I met her in the corridor. I had my photo with her. Oh wow, you properly met her.

Yeah, I properly met her. Do you want to see the photo? Yeah, absolutely. Have you not posted it before? I'm sure I must have. Oh there she is. It's a great photo. I mean, she's got sunglasses on and not looking at the camera, but apart from that is perfect. Well, we don't know because of her sunglasses.

She might turn in the eye to the camera. She might be doing a kind of side eye. Never had a photo taken before. I wasn't very confident. Oh, I've got to tell you about this. Yeah wasn't very confident. I got to hear about this. Yeah, just right. So I was down on the coast, right? And I was kicking and my parents brought the kids down. Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember there was a way so she brought

the kids down with Bournemouth. Anyway, so we had a really good time. It was really good fun, but like busy, like the beach is one of the best hotels in Bournemouth. Bournemouth Beach is absolutely disgusting and a heatwave is like a war zone. There's people smoking weed, walking into the sea with bottles of Jack Daniels. It's mental. Right. Anyway, is it really busy? I've never seen so many people in my life.

Right. Eleven million people. Because I think Bournemouth is the one, you know, when like there's a heatwave and the sun will do a front cover of like a really crowded beach. It's often Bournemouth. Yeah, no, they always use Bournemouth as the go to shot. I was getting heckled on the beach because obviously there's lots of them lads people that lads so I just scurried to under the pier and sat there with loads of Asian people that didn't want to be in the sun. So funny. It was just literally like all

like white people burning alive and then just a group of Asian like about four Asian families sat under the pier and I just actually understand how the sun works. Yeah. So that was fun. So basically, they came down Friday, my daughter had a rash on her face. Yeah. Yeah. And the rash has been getting worse over the weekend. It gets to Sunday and I'm like, I don't know what to do it. I take her down to the pharmacy to get a face looked at. And I've done all the tests and stuff, but she's not under the weather.

Anyway, they look like bites or whatever. We go there, we wait, speak to the pharmacist in boots, big up boots, the pharmacy, by the way, we actually spoke to someone. He looked, he was like, Oh, I think they're, they're bites. And he said, well, he went, have you been in contact with any sort of leaves or any plants or any insects and stuff like that? And my daughter was like, absolutely not. No. I was like, okay, he went, have you been in contact with any sort of leaves or any plants or any insects and stuff like that? And my daughter was like, absolutely not. No. I was like, okay, fair enough. Lou's got some of these little things on her as well. So

we think might be bites, right? Yeah. So he's like, Oh, look, from the way they are, the way they're positioned in a row on the face, she's got a big collection on the face. And along the arm, on both arms and on the hands is what it looks like it's bed bugs that sort of gone in one area, then work their way down the arms. You need to, it will go, but you need to wash everything on 60 degree wash in the house, all the bedding needs to be washed in 60 because if you don't do on 60, you can't get rid of the bed bug eggs that you need to flip all the mattresses and you

need to kill the bugs that are in there. And I'm like, fuck it. I'm in Bournemouth at boots 11 AM. I've got to go and do Southampton that night. Lose away in Paris. And then I'm like, oh my God, I don't know what to do. My mom and dad are a bit too old to flip mattresses. They can't flip a mattress. My mom's recovering from a knee replacement and my dad's 81. Do you know what I mean? It's not the crack team you need to send in for pest control. So he's doing all this. He's saying

you've got to clean all the bed and do all this kind of stuff. The mattress. And I'm thinking, I don't know, are we going to do all this? And then so I'm like, all right, okay. And then I'm just thinking, what can I do it? How can I deal with this? Anyway, and I was like, I rang Lou's mom and I was like, um, can they come there? Anyway, I couldn't work it out because I was in Bournemouth and Lou weren't coming back. And my mom and dad were taking them back in a taxi that night. Anyway, so we're trying to work out what to do with the mattress and the bed bugs. My daughter was like, Oh, yeah, there was a leaf. Oh, there we go. So we're talking about, she went, I found a leaf at school and it was soft. So I rubbed it on my cheek. What?

Right. So we talked about you when you have found this orange leaf that was soft, I've rubbed it all over my cheek and up and down my arms and held it. I went, Oh, what exactly where are all the, the rashes? Had she forgotten or she not wanted to say in the chemist? I think she'd forgotten to be honest. And then she's like, thought of it. So we did all that and we get back and so could you be bothered to do the beds now? We didn't do the beds because we've heard about this and then Lou got back late and checked all the beds

So the kids was on the sofa. She got back like nine So they went to bed late, but they're both under the weather. Anyway, she checked with mattress. There was nothing She couldn't see anything. So we like we think it's a leaf right? So the next morning I'm like, I've got find out what this leaf is. She said it's orange. I'm like, there's no orange leaves. Yeah It's autumn. Yeah, it's quite an old anecdote if that's the case. I'm on chat AI I'm googling blah blah blah and I. And I'm going this one and she's like going, it looked a bit like that, but not like that. It was a bit like this. It looked like that. I'm like, Oh God. So I spent ages when I think it's that.

Do you not go to the school and find the tree? Well, maybe, but this, but then I've had a night there because I got home at midnight from the gig. I couldn't sleep till two. Oh God. Then my daughter comes in and wakes me up at three saying she's itchy. So I'm putting cream on her till three. Then she wakes me up at six itchy again. Now it's half six and I'm Googling leaves. I spent an hour Googling leaves an hour. We're doing this.

I'm on chat. GPT AI the law. She goes, it's in my bag. I can get it if you want. I kept it cause I liked it. She goes in the back with don't touch it. Anyway, so I think it's a poisonous sumac leaf which the yellow ones, it's Rishi Sumac, yeah, dying out to leaf out, right? The young leaves are

bright orange in spring, summer, and those if you rub it on yourself, if you rub it on your face, in my daughter's words, for 20 minutes non-stop, it will leave a rash and she's got it on her arm, in my daughter's words, for 20 minutes non-stop, it will leave a rash and she's got it on her arm. So we've got an appointment, they're off school today and I'm not well either to be fair, we're all ill. And where's the leaf? It's in a bag and I've got this leaf and I think it's a poisonous sumac.

You know there's an app Rob, I'm sure you know this, it's called Leafscanner or something like that. To be honest with you, I found the leaf probably seven minutes ago. Oh right, okay. It's on the toanner or something like that. To be honest with you, I found the leaf probably seven minutes ago. Oh, right, okay. It's on the to-do list. Yeah. But we just got a doctor's appointment

and I've got a doctor's appointment, we've all got doctor's appointments. It's an ill house anyway. Oh, what a day. It's an ill house. Well, this will cheer you up. You chill out. Thanks, mate.

Relax, listen to this pre-recorded interview with Aisling B. That I've already done. That you've already done. Yeah, I'll give it a listen. Okay, enjoy yourself. You've just put your baby down. I have just put her down, yeah.

To sleep? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, sorry, this is no confession video. You know, how late is it to decide you made the wrong decision? No, we've just put her down to sleep, yes. Is she a good sleeper? How old is she, Charlie? She is, she's 10 months. 10 months. Okay. Yeah. I feel like if I say this, like I'll get a lot of hate, but she's a really good sleeper. I think that's better to do that than go. It's

a version of going, yeah, I just sort of eat what I want. It's a version of that as a parent. I just never have. Oh my God. why does your baby struggle with sleep? No, but I think it's better to admit because otherwise it's like you're going to end up lying. Or having to put makeup underneath my eyes or something like that. Oh yeah, man, the baby. So she's sleeping through the night like fully? Yeah, I do. Now here's my pseudo science, which is because she's a formula fed baby and we both have have ADHD myself and Jack, which is a real fun. With different threads of us. And I think we were both really, we both tried to get ahead of that and kind of

set up a system for ourselves that we both understood like a common language of like, this is our routine and we'll try and work the baby into our sleeping and feeding routine with the bottles and the numbers. And it was really helpful to bottle feed because it was like the numbers are on the side of the bottle. Here's the hours and there's alarm. You don't get that on a boob. You don't get that on a boob. Even though mine have caused some alarm over the years, boys. Okay, let's go. What sounds good for Jack then? He can be fully involved from the start and takes the pressure off you as well. Exactly.

And I love like my best friend had a baby the same time as me and she adores breastfeeding. She got so many dopamine hits out of her. My sister did it for a year. So mothers always have to caveat something like that by saying, guys, this is not me hating on breastfeeding. What I feel like they don't talk about, there's so many lessons before you have a baby on how to breastfeed and there's no lessons on formula feeding, which is a

great way to feed your child as well. And I actually, I adored it from a dad focused point because you've just done this physical thing where you're really grumpy and no one can help you. And it's so alone physically getting pregnant and being pregnant. And then you get this thing where someone actually can do the other side of it. And I think people always have to caveat like, it's okay to form a baby, as if you're hating on anyone who's breastfeeding. But I think people don't talk about the lovely side of it.

The fact that you get to really like look your baby in the eyes. The dads can do so much of it. And after feeling a bit like a spare part and being like, what can I do? Suddenly they have such a job, like Jack had such a job straight away, which was doing loads of the feeding and like I'd do some of it, but, and a lot of it was as well. I had a car accident during the pandemic. I got knocked down and I actually got pregnant accidentally while on opioids for my shoulder surgery. I was like, Hey man. Oh my God. I was like, yeah man, choose love, choose love. And then suddenly I was like, whoopsie.

Wow. But then my shoulder never recovered because all of these pregnancy hormones flew in and gave me frozen shoulder. Again, real fun couple of months to be around me during that time. Is it all right now? Kind of, it wasn't ideal to sort of have that.

Basically the hormones came in and then you had a baby that you had to hold all the time and sleep bad. Yeah, which really helped the shoulder. It was brilliant. And I've been a joy to be around during that entire period of time all the time and sleep bad. Yeah. Which really helped the shoulder. Ah, it was brilliant, right? And I've been a joy to be around during that entire period of time. Yeah, and also car accidents are so fun anyway. Oh my god, so much fun.

You'll notice I have no stand up about it, because funnily enough, I haven't found the funny angle on it yet. So I was really worried about my arm and holding. So I was like, you know what, I'll take it. I don't need to do it. And it actually turned out to be a sort of lovely gift in a way, because... Do they sleep bad? There is a thing where babies... No, I'm not going to say they do because...

You've got no control test. Yeah, there's no control test. The only thing I know is the child is definitely fed the exact amounts the whole time. And now this is not me. And again, you always have to do these caveats, especially when you're speaking publicly, because famously I'm not a doctor. You're the face of the formula, aren't you? Yeah, I'm the face of, no, a doctor. You're the face of formula aren't you? Yeah I'm the face of, no formula one. Just fast cars and fast living.

And fast feeding. Fast feeding, yeah. But again, I just, I am quite fascinated and that's why I was kind of excited to come on the podcast with you guys because obviously this is a dad orientated podcast. Yeah of course. And I didn't grow up with a dad. It's not me to bring it down. But from that point of view, I've always been like, and what do they do during the day? Like, where do you put dads or where do they go in the house? Do they go in the shed or sheds are good for men?

Do they like sheds or what do dads do? And actually, because you know, when you don't grow up with the idea of it, it's foreign to you. Yeah. And actually it has been like, oh, all the little ways I've noticed that dads are sort of left out. Like even at the start, I just had a baby and they were like, right, we're going to take your number down so we can ring you if anything happens. I'm like, why are you ringing me? I just had a baby.

And I'm like, take Jack's number, take Jack's number. Jack should be rang. Jack's number. And they would find my number, the NHS, and this is not an NHS, love the NHS, but they would find somehow my phone number to always ring. So I had to be like, find Jack's. love the NHS, but they would find somehow my phone number to always ring. So I had to be like, find Jack's. I was like Liam Neeson on the phone, like, I will hunt you down and find you if you call me one more time.

It's Jack's number on the page. Just so they call the dads because it's such a, they just naturally call mothers, which I can half understand if that's your choice. But if you've said, not my job, not my job, just had a baby, not my job, call him. You can do the admin, because it is admin, like booking in the time slots and stuff like that, the formula thing, we had to do that because Lou couldn't breastfeed,

like she tried but couldn't. And for me, I felt bad because Lou wanted to breastfeed but couldn't, but as a dad, it was the best thing for us, because I had that amazing moment, all you wanna do is help your partner and be a dad. And if they're breastfeeding, you can't get anywhere near it. You can't help your partner sleep. You can't feed the baby.

There's a lot of toast making from my position with breastfeeding. As our chief toast maker in the... The man is doing a lot of toast making. A lot of take the bins out. And I assume by toast you mean like bread and not like to the mother. Down in 10 points. Yeah I cheers it with the boob as well which never went down as well as. Rose give us your, no.

Yeah it's just I just find it interesting that you can talk positively about it not like a well we had to in the end and thank God as if it's a and then the other side of it is if your partner's breastfeeding you're're like, oh my God, they need a high five all day because it's really hard. And I'm glad I didn't have to do it. But I think there's this thing kind of from motherhood or women sometimes where it's like, if you didn't do it that most hardest way possible. Yeah. It's the same with birth. It's a natural birth and all that. No, I didn't have any pain. And you're like to do what you like. Yeah. Have pain. Or if you don't want to, and you do really want to like lean into that, go for your life. But if you were looking for the, I had a planned

C-section, I was delighted. They were like, why did you have to have a C-section on site? Because I want to do from the start. I love surgery. Like I actually love surgery. I find it so relaxing. I had a planned C-section. I was so excited about it. We had the playlist. We laughed through the whole thing because you can't feel anything until later when it is very, like the pain comes, but just later. But like we had a playlist and I thought it'd be really funny for the start at the injection bit to have Enya playing. And we were like, it will be funny. But then we were in a room of medical staff who have trained for very many years to do this properly and seriously. And we had like, who will say when you love it? Like this Enya playing. And we had like, who will say when you love

it? Like this Enya playing and we felt like we were taking the piss out of the medical and we're like, I'm so sorry. We thought this would be funny. Did you just have a chat though? Like, I found like, they're just very chilled. They're doing this all day long. It's just like mechanics or, you know, like hairdresser. It was so hairdresser and then our, our, the doctor a hairdresser. It was so a hairdresser. And then our, our, the doctor was Irish as well. And so I was like, well, you'll like this one, Dr. Pat.

And he had made one for you. Don't worry. Dreams where the cranberries is coming once you stick the knife in. What was Pat's surname? Dr. Pat O'Brien. We had the same one. Oh my God.

I don't want to. He's the calmest man in the world. We are in love with Dr. Pat O'Brien. I'm happy to say this publicly. He's the calmest man in the world. We are in love with a dr. Pat O'Brien I'm happy to say this publicly. He's the calmest man I've ever met Yeah, he delivered my my sister's baby as well. Also, there was something really calming about having an Irish man It's the wrong thing. Is this the wrong thing to say? Do you think his sideburns are too high? No I don't think there's a single thing about Pat O'Brien that I don't remember. I know this podcast gets niche, but I'm struggling for an in-ear I'm struggling for an in here. This is that when I was on what I lied to them.

I've got nothing. Sorry. Sounds like a great guy though. I'm going to Google him. What was quite funny about the iPhone, the C-section, this is where I really started laughing and like I was in my, because I hated being pregnant so much and I was about to be not pregnant. So I couldn't work out if I was being pregnant so much and I was about to be not pregnant. So I couldn't work out if I was excited to have a baby or just excited to not

be pregnant anymore. Yeah. Do you remember it was like a year ago, I saw Josh. Were you at Chelsea flower show? Chelsea flower show in a giant black woolen jumper in a heatwave. And I was like, she can barely tell. And I'm pregnant. And now I look back at the photos and it's as obvious as the day.

So was you hiding it then at that point? You didn't want anyone to know? I just didn't find the... Full disclosure, we did have a discussion where we did suspect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, listen, I was holding... No one said that's her superpower. She's fucking obsessed.

She comes up to me and goes, I've got a theory. I've got a theory. Yeah, yeah. It's an awful theory to get wrong, isn't it? Oh, it's so... Oh my God. You can never say it publicly, but you just... I have gotten it wrong twice in my life,

and I've thought about it. One was a couple of weeks ago with a friend, we both know, and I'm not gonna say who it is, but I blamed her because she did rub her belly gently and sort of lovingly, but it turns out it was because she'd loved the bun she just ate. Did you ask her though then?

Yes, I did. No, you never asked, you got behind people's backs, Eisleyn. Oh Rob, I know, but then I had to blame her because it was like, it's not trying to victim blame, but she was taunting me with how lovingly she was rubbing her belly. It wasn't even a looks thing. She just picked up her and gently... Consciously or unconsciously? Well, I thought it was consciously to go, ask me then. And I was like, can I just for a second? So she's greedy, I'm leading you on. And I was like, oh, okay. Well, I'm going to pivot back. I'm going to say you're beautiful, love, everything. The other time I did it, I was on, I was hosting a gig in LA. It was like an open newcomers part of the comedy festival. And it was

like for newcomers and I was hosting it and I was so jet lagged and I was doing such a bad job and everyone else was supposed to be newcomers and I was supposed to be the old hand. And I looked like I just been picked off the street to talk into a microphone. Like I was doing such a bad job at standup and it was one of those, yeah, we're just going to put the gig starts at 1130 and you're like, PM great, great. Fantastic. 1130 PM to start. There was a woman in the audience who was holding, I later found out a jacket, but

in a really, again, loving way with her hand on top of the thing. And I had this joke about, God, women are so weird, aren't they? Like women come from inside other women. I've never seen a man come from inside another man. Huh? But maybe I haven't lived enough, says you, you know, like that was a gag. man come from inside another man. But maybe I haven't lived enough. Says you, you know, like that was a guy.

Yeah. And I stopped my normal joke halfway through to go women come from inside other women, don't they? You should know. And into the microphone, I pointed at the lady. Now she was a large busty lady. I think she was very busty. She wasn't a larger lady, but she had in between me starting that

push the pile of jackets that I thought it was a on the ground ground and then I swung to her and I looked at her and as I was halfway through my sentence saw that she no longer had any sort of bump but she did have larger boobs so it looked like I was pointing at a booby lady going you're probably pregnant and then I tried to be like cuz you all like everyone in the room knew what was happening I was trying to pivot. Because also if she's got the jackets on the lap, you can sort of go, Oh, sorry. I thought that. I thought it was a jacket, but it was gone. The large pile of jackets was gone.

And also in my experience of women, all women deep down think they've probably got a belly and overweight. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So we knew what was happening was the worst thing and she knew what I was saying. Also, every woman would internalize that conversation, not go, hey, you go, oh, I'm the problem. I need to, I look, I look pregnant is what you're saying. She probably went to the gym the next day because of you.

Exactly. She probably did. It was Elle MacPherson though, and she has gotten into really good shape since. So I feel like. You kickstarted all that. I still think of that. Like I think of it, I'd say that lives rent free in my head. Oh, God. Every two months I think for that that. Like I think of it, I'd say that lives rent free in my head every two months. I think for that moment it was absolutely awful. Introducing TurboTax Business, a brand new way to file your own T2 return, all while getting help from an expert who actually knows small businesses.

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to two questions, did you know from the start, you're going to bottle feed straight away and not even try with the breastfeeding? And what other things did you have planned as you start? One of the things that was interesting was I did want to formula feed because of my shoulder and the amount of sort of chronic pain I do tend to live in. Can I just ask something on the chronic pain? Did you have to suddenly stop the opioids? Oh, oh no. I didn't like, I found out once my opioids run out that I'd been pregnant, Josh.

Oh, and she's such a light sleeper. Did I mention that? She's such a heavy sleeper. I'm sure the two things aren't connected. Oh, and she's such a light sleeper. Did I mention that? She's such a heavy sleeper. I'm sure the two things aren't connected. I have to go. But sorry, what I what I found was, was that after the fact and I did it, I've been so happy I could like I'm just delighted with my choice. And that's it's just great.

Like, you know, Rob, it's just like it's a great choice. Not everyone can afford to do it, but not everyone can afford not to do it, is the other thing. So like breastfeeding is only free to the partners who aren't breastfeeding, but it's not technically free, which is why you should all be celebrating anyone who breastfeeds because it's not free, it's not free time, it's not free of your body. It's a gorgeous thing that people do, but it is, that's why I think like if you've a partner who's breastfeeding, oh my God, high five them every time they do it,

because it becomes so normal that you forget it's a big old thing for people to be doing as well. But I did find in the run up to having the baby, there was just no information. Like my midwife was brilliant, NHS midwife, but she had to like hand write out how it worked because it wasn't loads of freely available information for you. So you felt like you were doing something that was a bit, um, I suppose if you're really stuck, you could do it. Yeah. Or you're being a bit naughty or you don't care or you're not trying. As if you're not really like, Oh, do you not want to do the, you're lazy or you're, you know, all that kind of. And selfish. I think a lot of women get labeled as totally unfair, but it's a

lot of pressure. Yeah. And I definitely found there was just that energy. I like, I suppose if you really feel like you can't manage it rather than like it's another thing that you can do. And again, that isn't talked about it positively is another positive option. And so if someone was considering what would you say, short of getting the NHS, have you since found the information anywhere or is that? Yeah, you do find it because well, what I found was more people only afterwards were like, oh yeah, I ended up doing it as well.

I don't like you're saying Robbie like, oh yeah, here's what I liked or, or my friend Janine Harouni, who's a brilliant standup, I'm sure you know, Janine sent me loads of stuff and so I got it anecdotally and my midwife was great, but I was like in the first few weeks holding her handwritten out piece of thing about the numbers, you know, making sure that so after X amount of weeks, you increase your numbers and I would have loved if there was like a little NHS class that I could have signed up to where someone told us about the numbers, you know, how to like go up and scale and like, okay, at that point it's 60 milligrams next, it's 90 or just to have someone say that

this is, this is totally fine. And also, you you know you don't have to be paying for the expensive stuff but if you want to throw your money out at you can or whatever the thing is you know just like you can get those machines where you can put the powder in and it oh my god rob you know what they sent me a free one and they said you never have to post about this which I really respected but I will say and I'm not here genuinely, go buy whatever you want. They told me to be essentially an espresso machine. It is, I feel like George Clooney, you know, babababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababbabbabababababbababababababbababababababababb and puts a boiling shot, so it's a hot shot first. And then you shake up the formula and the boiling water, so it's all sterilized and stuff.

And then it adds and cools down the rest of it. It's always the right temperature. Yeah, it's perfect to go when it's done rather than trying to guess with a kettle. Yeah, and then we have the travel one as well. There's a travel one. So at midnight or whatever, are you getting up and doing that?

We used, I mean, now she's 10 months, but at the start, yeah, it was like the every four hours. And what was good about it was, and again, this is me not promoting for me. Did you have that in the bedroom or did you have the- We didn't have in the bedroom, we're not dirty perverts Josh. Did you have it in the bedroom? You don't have to ask like that Josh, that's so weird. He's a horny guy. He's leading into it. He's just a horny man. Well, so you've got your bedroom actually, forget about the kids stuff.

Now what other electrics have you got in there? So what was good about, again, this is not me promoting formula, this is saying the positives from my point of view is that someone else could do two runs. So I'm really good early in the morning and Jack stays up later. So he would do say the two four hour shifts at the start, which meant I would have six, eight hours of sleep. And I would do the next two ones. So everyone's sort of being a little bit gently tired all the time. Every four hours of me going, wake up, Jack, you know, that type of thing.

So it was really good for that. And again, I think the part of parenting that's a little difficult with ADHD, which you can overcompensate, which I suppose is what we're doing in a good way, is we're over trying to remember to make sure we don't forget. Cause the panic would be that your brain, that's how I ended up getting knocked down was I just sort of lost my attention on the bike. It was totally my fault. And that can happen so quickly that that's your panic that you've no control over it.

There's no, your brain can just sort of go. So yeah, so that was, oh my God, this is so nice to talk about so positively, by the way. I haven't talked about this anywhere before, so it's just actually really lovely to talk about. Oh, brilliant. I'm glad you're enjoying it. It's great. Because it becomes your whole world, doesn't it? Yeah, but also talking to two people, like Rob, you did the formula way, so you know it that way. And then you did, it sounds like Josh, the breastfeed. So I'm talking to two people who you can understand the nuance and not feel like you're going to get clipped.

Yes. Because that's the panic is when you talk about this stuff on podcasts or interviews, people will take it without the nuance or information or chat and then suddenly you'll be the face of like anti breastfeeding or you know what I mean? Yeah, it can get quite culty really and the cult of this and the cult of that where you've just got to do what works best for you and the baby. Yeah and also you're still a mother with a baby who's like, oh I don't have to deal with any of that. I want to be able to talk about this in a positive way and not feel like I'm, someone's going to take the words and go breast hell boy now.

So yeah, so that's how we sort of managed the start was that we'd sort of like, in the very first few weeks you're both, every few hours just seeing who the hell this little person is few weeks, you're both, every few hours, just seeing who the hell this little person is in your, you know, and finding your own kind of way. Are they breathing? Are they breathing? Yeah, are they breathing? Are they breathing?

Are they breathing? Oh my God, is it breathing? Maybe I took the wrong one home. Has it definitely done the right amount of boiling water? The machine is working. Yeah, exactly. Let me measure it. Let me taste it.

What is 60? What even is a number? Who is a number? What's an ounce? Yeah, what's an ounce? Who is an ounce? We've all worked in showbiz long enough to know what an ounce is. And then we got the other, and again, sorry, there are other versions of this stuff available. Yeah, yeah, of course. Tommy, to be travel stuff, which is a magic. Did you ever? We never had to travel one, no.

So there's a travel thing you can get. There's no plugs. It never needs to be recharged. And we still don't understand how it works. And this is like a thing you put the formula into, then the amount of boiling water in and you're out in the go and you shake it, put your finger down on this little star at the top. It goes red, which means it's boiling and then in about 40 seconds it reduces the entire temperature to perfect temperature. In my head sometimes I go, it reduces the entire temperature to perfect temperature. In my head, sometimes I go, it must be the metal has an effect on heat that then somehow takes the sun and the shine and removes the metal of the... So is that red a light?

Yeah, it's like a little light. Where is that exactly, Josh? Are you sure it's not going to run out at some point? It hasn't in seven or eight months, but yeah, there's a real, Well, that's the thing. You need, you do need that kind of stuff because you know, with your job, an actor, comedian, you're traveling, doing your tours or you're on set. We travel loads.

But yeah, with the baby. Yeah. How are you splitting up at the moment? The last time I saw you, I was at a gig and you had the baby with you. Yeah. Can I just say she stayed away through my whole set and then she slept during Josh's. And I still want you to know, Josh, that that was not a reflection on your new material.

I know that got in your head. And she was sort of nagging you in a way by going, I'm fine. Josh was blaming the opioids. Waste of a ticket. Yeah. I'm quite a, like, I suppose acknowledging that we're both Jack's musician and I'm a model. And so acknowledging our life is very, but you know, like your kids are also in the circus as well,

like they're circus babies and that they have been exposed to you guys being on telly and the weirdness of that and what you guys do for a job. Well, it's easier for us though, really, as dads, because we were out on tour where Lou was more of the default parent at home and picked up the slack. I'm not sure what Jack does, if he's traveling a lot or if he's in the studio, but who's like the default parent out of you? Or was it a 50-50? I would say it's Jack a lot of the time, so he's able to compose and stuff at home, and then he's got like a radio show on a Thursday on Hoxton Radio, tune in, it's got real cool

music. radio show on a Thursday on Hoxton radio tune in. It's got real cool music, but we're lucky in that regard. And that's the other positive is that seeing, I suppose, the man's, and I'm obviously talking about a heteronormative relationship here rather than say like two women where there's a lot more people to talk to you in a different way. I think when you're two women having a baby, I think sometimes people are like, aren't you great now to even hold the baby with men sometimes and that can be sort of patronising to women but also to men it's kind of patronising to men to be like yeah like that's the bare minimum I'd be doing now is going for a walk.

We went away for like five nights to Miami when there were one and three and then people are going what and you've you've got them? I was like yeah I can look after my children. Yeah but he's like yes. I can also drive a car, use an iPhone. Like, yeah, absolutely. I also know them. Like, they're not strangers. They're my children. Yeah. And there's that quality, which I think is like, I think fatherhood. And I think this is like I would be a big

I think there should be such a look at parental leave for men and partners, because it disables men as much as it has an effect on women, like to allow the softness of fatherhood to set in and in the early stages, get a hold of all of those bits where it's an exciting, like have getting a new house or a new car or, you know, it's like the exciting start bits working it all out. I just think fatherhood, I was very conscious maybe because I had no framework to work from and Jack's mom is a midwife as well and you

know Jack is a very, he's very comfortable in his sexuality and doesn't care about like what sort of alpha looks like or anything like that. I was very conscious of making sure that I didn't default, that we tried to default into us as people rather than trying to like, oh, I'm the woman, I'll do all of this stuff. And then, and maybe because I am a bit, as you both know, kind of like an ardent feminist about certain things, but I think feminism comes from like allowing men to be as soft, so to speak. Josh, I know you're probably thinking, no, thank you. And I heard men being soft. Hard all the time, baby.

Oh, you're too bloody right, mate. You're talking through. You're basically on the Joe Rogan podcast here. Josh brushes his teeth with Stanley Nice. You know the fuck about that. But to allow that is like the ultimate thing in feminism, is to allow men the softness of fatherhood and the cuddly side, and to allow a defaultness.

Yeah, but you do need boring admin for that. You need to go, well, let's do bottle formula. You do that because you can't breastfeed a baby for six months and go, right, I'm going back on tour now and just leave Jack with this baby. Because I'm feeling the baby, because the baby's all confused and out of sync and you need to have this plan.

Yes, whereas we got out there early on. So our big thing was like, we would hand her to people early on so she gets used to kind of like being in social environments. We would, I mean, we went to the Fontaines DC with her with headphones on and left her side of stage security. I think she was about two or three months old and she just rocked away, fell asleep just like she would during a Josh Whittaker performance. And I'm glad I'm in good company.

I don't think there's massive pressure on women though, because at the moment for women, because it's all about women can do whatever men can do and go out and have a career and it shouldn't be any different. But also it's like, oh, of course it is. Of course it is. But then there would still be pressure to go, oh, well done, Ashleigh, but you're going to go off and do a tour. Oh, but you're not going to stay at home and breastfeed for eight months.

You're not really being a mom. You go, hang on, how can I be this version of a woman and the new version of woman? And something's got to give you can't. It's impossible to do both. You know what I mean? And also I think that's why it's lovely to talk about here and with two dads. This is just such a safe place to talk about it, I suppose, because people listening in actually probably know the reality on the other side and how it

changes and also like I didn't have any maternity leave. Famously showbiz has no HR or maternity leave. Yeah. And there's nowhere to complain and there's nowhere to hand you benefits. And I would have loved time, but I'm the main breadwinner. And so I don't have that as an option. And a lot of people don't. An America maternity leave is two weeks.

So people have to get back to work really quickly. And self-employed like we are, if a big job, I got off a taskmaster when my, and the filming was four days after my daughter was born. At that point in my career, you can't say no to the biggest opportunity in your industry. So you just have to go and like,

you was in a similar situation, I imagine. Yeah, like I had to do press for a film three weeks after the baby was born. And I didn't enjoy being on camera. Of course not. You know, a few weeks after the baby was born or anything like that. And major surgery, really.

A major surgery. Yeah, exactly. And you just- If you had a hernia out, you'd probably go, I'll skip that because I'm recovering. Yeah, and people are like, oh, we don't expect you to do Lorraine after a hernia. So those things are the reality of my job. But I think the reframe of maybe the negative side of that is maybe the alternative way of doing it shows you almost like, there is not very many positives out of COVID guys, but the one thing it showed the world is that another type of work day is possible. because who can totally afford nine to six to go into an office to be there from nine to six if you have kids. And it showed that there is another way of working where you could come in on a Zoom or work.

Like my mother was on her own and she was a teacher, she was a retired jockey, but also a teacher. That's not a joke by the way, she was a retired jockey, that might sound like a silly thing to say. It sounds like an old phrase. Yeah, she's a retired jockey. It'll take off all around Britain. Sure, I'm a retired jockey. No, she actually was. But she also taught secondary school kids and the principal would allow her to do the first class in the morning, which meant she could drop us in because we lived in the middle lower, drop us into school and get to the first class on the other side and then- On horseback, obviously. On horseback. Yeah, sorry, drop us off from the wagon.

And then on the way back, do the second last class of the day, because it was secondary school, so she could get back in time for us to be home. But that was a very nice male principal working around one person outside of the system on his own to make sure she could go to work. And sort of those systems in place always feel like you're doing someone a favor rather than out of that, you get a really engaged teacher at the right time. And I think sometimes something throwing you into a situation shows you how there can be another way.

So I had to go to work. So Jack had to be at home feeding the baby a lot of the time. Yes, of course. But that's given us so much and it's given Jack so much because also the other thing that happens is and I have a stand-up about this I'm working on so I'm not going to give you all my gold right now boys. Are you on tour though? Has your tour been announced? Tour has been announced. Should I run you through the dates? Yeah go on. Oh me? Oh yeah go on. When is that Josh? We'll get back to this as well but we might as well get the plug in there. Yeah yeah I'm putting a little pin. You're doing the new Soho Theatre, Walthamstow,

which is apparently lovely. Oh, it looks amazing, that venue. Yeah, it does. I haven't been into it yet, but it looks real glam. You're doing two nights there in February next year, this is? That's when it starts and then it goes on for two months around the UK and Ireland. Cardiff, Durham, York, Cheltenham, Brighton, Dublin,

Wexford, Dublin, Oxford, Ipswich, Tunbridge, Wales, Hammersmith, Leicester, Sheffield, Chester, Salford, Dundee, Aberdeen, Glasgow, Cambridge, Bristol, Birmingham and Belfast. And then I'm adding a cork date because so many people from cork got in touch with me over Instagram. They were like, do you not like cork? Yeah, I'm having that with Bromley. I'm trying to find a date there,

kicking right off. There's a version of anywhere near where you're from, people going, oh, what's wrong with us? Yeah, yeah. It's a 16 minute train to London, I'm doing the Palladium, get on the fucking train. I'm doing Trillium Exeter, Plymouth is a difficult one to book, okay?

And also, there's only so many days in the week, you also have the other bits to do, they don't have the energy all the time. What's the show called, Ashley? What's it about? It's called Older Than Jesus. Right, okay. Because I didn't feel bigger than Jesus was probably correct. At this time though, guys, I'm staying ambitious. Now you've added a cork date. Who knows? Listen, once I hit cork, then perhaps it will be bigger than Jesus. Yeah, do cork on Easter Sunday and see what happens. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Who comes? Do they come to my gig or do they go to Matt's? Are you taking your daughter? Yeah, I will for, I mean, who knows by like this time, she's like, this child is up on

her legs, climbing the land. Already? So who knows, by next year, she might have a full-time job as a barista. I suppose it is more or less a year or what, it's like eight to ten months. Yeah, it is. I think we'll go gig by gig year or what? It's like eight to ten months. Yeah, it is. I think we'll go gig by gig. My dream would be to be able to go, but it'll be like, depending on Jack's work as well. I'm lucky my mom moved over a year ago, so she's kind of around in bits and bobs.

So it'll be, if there's more than three or four days, I'd be a bit sad not to bring her. But also, Jack's brilliant. Jack's, I think being a creative, the best for, he's brilliant with, with stand up and sort of like directing. But he does and he's, but he also loves comedy. Yeah. So he's really good at like, and I think I will need someone because I've never toured before. You guys are so used to it. Yeah. So this is the first tour. So done. Edinburgh shows full hours for the month. Why have you not toured before, Aisling? I think, well, first of all, there's the acting

career takes up so much time. When I was writing my show, that would be the tour length. Like to write two series of This Way Up to get a written pilot and commissioned was about five years. And then I would go and do pilot season in LA trying to get acting work. And I've always been gigging. The other thing with acting is if you've got a tour booked in and then something comes along.

Exactly. And I've got an acting job, which I can't talk about. Sorry, guys. From September to January. It's Spider-Man seven. So they have to fill in all the other ones. They're just the wicked web, web of lies. All good ideas. And that's made it really good because I'm like, ah, the acting will be done. And that job will be in the edit.

And then acting is a long day. Right. Yeah. I find stand up easy to do after acting because I love it so much. And again, it's around groups of people. be done and that job will be in the edit and then acting is a long day right yeah I find stand-up easy to do after acting because I love it so much and again it's around groups of people I love doing stand-up with other comedians my favorite place in the world is backstage when we're at Oldsby comedy yeah like I remember that gig I didn't have any childcare so I had to bring the baby and I only said yes because Josh was gonna be there I was like oh like as in like I feel like I'm that's my social life. Are you taking tour support then on the tour? I don't

think so I think I might do a Catherine Ryan Catherine's show is so incredible if you can go and watch Battle Axe it's so so good and she opens on time with her yeah and does a bit of improv with questions and stuff in the second half and I think I might do that every now and again. I might have a tour support depending on the place, but I think I might do. Well, give it a go and you can always put someone in if you're getting a bit lonely and stuff. Because that's the lonely bit is the tour bit that I, you guys are so, because you start out and you immediately did tours.

Yeah, it's hard. It's still hard. Whatever, even the experience. Just being on your own in a strange city is difficult and especially being away from the kids. But I think doing it for two months is a good idea. Do your guys ever come with you? Or are they two, it's school now, is it? It's school, and when they're really young, well, when they were really young, it was COVID, so I weren't gigging, so that was quite nice in a way.

But I think the thought of taking a two-year-old would be hell, but now they're seven and nine. They came on tour with me for a couple of shows. Then my granddad came down, So I'd finished the gig, come back, grab the kids and we'd go to our hotel room and they loved it. And it was a real adventure. Oh, gorgeous. Did they come to the gig, Rob, and like look at the venue? They have before, but they didn't this time because it was like nice weather. They were just, they had the swimming pool at the hotel. So they were just in that.

So that's what the audience thought as well. No one came to that gig, did they? Yeah, they were just like, everyone's like, oh, it's nice weather. I'm going to hang out with Rob's kids. That's actually really funny? Yeah, but that's been really good fun. So we're doing more of that. So when I go to Australia, they're coming out to Australia and they're going to be there for a couple of the shows to have a holiday. So we're at the stage now where I can incorporate them, but there's definitely a stage where they're quite difficult, but now they're just like your little

mates that you hang around with. So I feel like that's, that's why I decided I'm going on tour now when she is bringable around because I know that time will hit. I think what I've been very lucky at, because I've had a baby older in life, that's where you guys go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I think that I've had loads of people to watch. Like I didn't really do any classes around the Dava baby. I just had been watching my friends for a decade. How old are you Ashton, do you want me asking? I'm 41 on Wikipedia, but I'm obviously 30 in the minds and hearts of the people of Britain and Ireland.

And agents booking gigs. And agents booking gigs. And E4. Sorry, let me just lighten my voice. I'm just only 41. You actually sound older. Yeah. But I think that I have thousands of hours worth of friends, kids, and even like Catherine was

the one, I think before any of us had kids, little Violet was always around. She was always around. Seeing her be part of Backstage and how much she loved it and her favourite thing was being around her mom. So for me, Violet and like I've so many pictures of Violet with my little girl now and it's called like OG gig baby. I call her OG gig baby. I sometimes worry about like should I be bringing my kids more do you know what I mean? But it's if you can or if you want to whereas like Catherine didn't have that as an option. Yeah she didn't have choice obviously.

So it's just making it but it can I suppose my point being like the alternative life can sort of bring up good things as well. Totally, totally agree. And as long as it's with your intention as a parent. Yeah. And even if staying at home and not talking to anyone for six months and just getting to know your baby is your intention as a parent that you want to do. Yeah.

That's the one for you because you're also tailoring it to you as a person or you as a couple. And that's not going to be the same as anyone else. Yeah, of course. So that's what you tailor to. And I'm very, I think, again, having a baby older meant that there was no bit of me that was like, I'm not going to get shamed for formula feeding or no one's going to tell. Like, yeah, you really don't give a shit. I'm having a great, like this is working for us.

So I'm not going to. We were too scared and nervous at 10 years ago. We were like, oh, we must do that. Cause they've said that. But now if me and Lou have a baby, we'd go, right. What? I think you should. I think you do.

I'm not another kid. Fuck off. I remember, I remember we were doing age, age of 10 cats. And I remember you were having a baby and it felt like such an adults thing to be doing, but also you guys have been together longer. I am young for this industry. We had kids at 29, which is young in this industry. Exactly but I remember I remember that you having a baby.

Ramesh and Catherine were the first. And you yeah and then Rob had a baby. Right, Rob had one before me. Rob was two years ahead of me. So last summer I don't know what they were giving out at kind of like comedy festivals but myself and Daniel Sloss had a baby on the same day. So Daniel Sloss' second baby was born the same day as Sirius's My Little Bubba. And then like, uh, who else was there? Russell, Russell Howard's was born, I think a month before, like there's a load of like very either funny or disappointingly serious babies coming in 18 years.

But like, thanks for booking me. It only took 10 minutes. I was like, sure. You'll get on like Joe Lice at early, but no. And then Joe had his baby a couple of months later as well. Joe had a book out, Aisling. Joe had a book out. And look at me, I had a tour. There's no point wasting an appearance on this if you haven't got something out. My content is called Searsha. Sorry, no, no, my baby. My baby is called Searsha.

I found having kids, I don't know if a few families because you're 10 months in, maybe reflect more on my childhood and stuff like that and how I was born. It's just natural. It happens to everyone. And like you said before, your dad wasn't around. How did you think that affected, you know, the pressure you were putting on Jack or the expectations of Jack? Because did it affect how you thought about it? Yeah, I definitely had no expectations on Jack, which I think was a good, as in my expectations

on Jack were more from my knowledge of the genderedness of life. For example, the phone calls from the doctor. That's just a small thing of like organizing. And if you're organizing all the doctor's appointments and everything, that's a whole other kind of quiet invisible job and I've had all of those conversations about how that happens in in all of our lives I even remember when we'd be doing panel shows and I remember like you guys get dusted quickly because you're so beautiful obviously but also as men you get your powder done quickly whereas especially if there was only one girl on a panel show I'd be in makeup

for an hour because I'm such a hag. Well, like you get your hair and makeup done and actually you, I would hear you guys chatting out in the corridor and I wanted to jump in and be like chatting away, but there's a whole hour where you don't get to chat to the, and there's like loads of little things like that, that are quite quiet things that can make such a big difference at times. And so I had more expectations maybe, or things I wanted to chat to him and sort out based on that rather than not having a dad, because I've no framework there.

On that, the side of it that comes up, I think if you've lost a parent as a kid. How old was she when he passed away? I was three and my sister was three months old. And so I really got very reflective over my mother. Emotional, but that side of it gets so, you can become so reflective and you go, Oh my God, how many of these? It's almost like you can't even let your brain imagine all of the little moments that you have.

What she had to do. Yeah. And even having to chat, having someone to chat to, who will love your baby as much as you will, to go, look at her doing this, and look at her doing that. And those bits get very reflective,

and my mother's like an absolute powerhouse, but it makes you almost like put yourself in her shoes. And that kind of wanes a bit after a few months, but at the start, you're just so aware of how young they were as well, you know, because I'm older than they would have been. And you're just like, Oh my God, you were babies with no Google, no texting your friends, no WhatsApp groups in the middle of nowhere type of thing. And those things become very reflective.

Because you wrote a brilliant piece in The Guardian about your dad and stuff like that. Yeah, and taking his own life and stuff. So there was also so much grief around them. And also it makes, you know, the way you think your uncles and aunties are like all, they're like born in their eighties or born in the seventies, you know, you just think they've always been 70, haven't they? And then you look back and they were actually like people in the network around like my mom and they were in their thirties, like they were younger than me. And I feel like a big dumb idiot.

And I'm like, Oh my God. And they were all helping in because they had to as like uncles and aunties. And even my mom was saying about how much one of my uncles who I wouldn't necessarily think is a super like, I love babies sort of person, but he just held my sister for months on end. And those months, like even now, Sirius is only 10 months old, but the first couple of months, everything just starts deleting. So I can imagine that's like what you guys are like, you can barely remember.

Yeah. Yeah. In between in the first year, you just start deleting information. I remember like having kids when we had my daughter and she's say six weeks or whatever. And then you've got a concern. I remember asking Ellis and Izzy. Yes. And they were like, oh, I don't remember. And I was like, yeah, are you fucking insane? It was 18 months ago. Yeah. This is so big. How have you not got the answer on this? You feel like, you know, in memento where anytime I hear someone's having a baby, I'm like, hi, I'm going to have to tell you this quick because I'm almost at the six month point.

I know I'll forget if I don't. She had six months not to wait. It's about to delete. I have to tell you really quickly at the start, I really enjoyed swaddling. I can send you the video I sent to my friend Emily if you want to swaddle you just start thinking that it's all you know The whole thing's gonna do it a routine on on tummy time. Oh, yeah, tell me time I did a routine on that think what doing that now. I've had a baby recently. I'm like who the fuck's laughing at that. Yeah I know. Oh my god tummy time. I'm like, yeah god

I do your tummy time and you think before you have a baby You'll be on top of that physio stuff and then you're like, ah, she'll discover her tummy eventually. I suppose. I'm sure they'll somehow find a way to lift their head and look at me if they want to. I find that you're like that initial wave you got the start of like all being overwhelming. I find that you get little moments just burst into your mind almost like a sort of an explosion of like a hangover. And, what did I do last night? Well, I took my kids crazy golf. My dad was there. And my dad sometimes would like laugh if I wasn't good at golf kind of thing,

which when you're a kid is really like annoying. And then my kids were doing it and not getting it in. And it was quite they were literally like trying to hit the ball backwards. And he was laughing. But I remember that really annoyed me when I was a kid. And all of a sudden, I had this rush going, that used to annoy me. And I said to him, don't laugh at me when you're doing that cause it's not nice.

He went, oh, but it is quite funny. I was like, yeah, but I didn't like it. They didn't like it. You know, and then he was like, oh, okay, sorry. Cause it is fun the way they're old in the club. But you don't realize how vulnerable a little seven year old girl is with a golf, you know. And do you think it's actually easier maybe for parents

to absorb that as a grandparent rather than as a parent when now you know they would have been so tired just trying to get through the day going I'm not going to bother with tummy time today I'm just trying to get through the day. Yeah of course. But as a grandparent they can have enough time to sort of like absorb that and take that in. And not be defensive. He just went oh fair enough yeah I've never thought of it like that I won't and he wasn't

doing anything mean but yeah when he's you know busy and stuff like that and tired and also a different generation of parenting. Yes. It's so different, but I find I get little waves of what's going on here. This is taking me back. Do you know what was interesting? Actually, we went to Katherine Ryan had a birthday party a couple of weeks ago for her kids and you're gorgeous girls were there. And I was like, how are they that age? Because I remember you having your first baby during eight out of 10 cats. And I was like, Oh, your kids are now the age that we all do stand up about. You know, all of us, I think as comedians do a lot of like,

you remember when I was a kid, your mom, you're very much my shtick as well. And it's funny seeing your kids, if they become standups, this is the time they're going to be talking about. I feel everything I do now between like seven to 12 or 13. It's like, this is the memory bank. Are you doing like Rob PR? We're going like, oh, then there's future stand-ups being like fun dance. Yeah.

I was like, you remember when you did that? No, I don't remember. You know, that's so true. But yeah. And the things you hang on to. I remember my mother got really offended. I, so we make a holy communion when we're about seven or eight, which is like your wedding to Jesus.

It's just a great day out for everyone. There's nothing problematic about that at all. We just dress up in wedding dresses and marry Jesus. And I remember I didn't, my veil didn't come. So I had a clip in my hair and the veil didn't come and a different bag to the handbag I wanted came in the box as well. Again, there's no time to like ring up the customer service. Like that wasn't the thing. So I had to have no veil from my communion. All the other girls had full wedding veils. Oh God. I remember like that being like, well, it just shows you that nothing ever goes my way.

Yeah. Like I remember the devastated feelings. And I said that years later to my mother and she's like, that didn't happen. I didn't know you were devastated by that. I would have driven all the way to Dublin to get you a veil of it. I know. So you know what she was focused on. I put a pin in something to remember to talk about earlier on. I can't remember what it was.

That's what this show is, Ashling. It was going on tour. I said, you had a bit of stand up about something. Oh, that's what it is. And then I said, oh, you're going on tour. This is a serious point behind the stand up. It's yes, that was it. It's the hours only because I just want to talk to you guys about it. Absolutely. Out of anywhere that I could talk about stuff.

You're not getting this on and off man you actually. Oh listen no. I said James and Ed want to hear about my Malcolm Gladwell 10,000 hours on parenting concept. Yeah pop a thumbs up and I just want a bit of time to myself. Pop a thumbs up bread. Can I eat them alone? Wherever it is. Half a pack of breadsticks in the back of the car after nursery drop off. Just somewhere alone where I'm not being watched or waited for or waited on. So Malcolm Gladwell has this book. He's a like social commentator or writer.

10,000 hours. Yeah. 10,000 hours. And it's based on the idea that say, for example, when Bill Gates got to university, he was a genius at university on computers, but he'd also had from the age of 16 or 17, a local computer. So he had all of these 10,000 hours of practice before he got to university that the other probably also geniuses had. So it was just easier.

And it's the Beatles went to Hamburg didn't they? They played for 10 hours a night. Well I think Bill Gates' mum worked in a school and he got taken over the summer to this school and there was a computer and they would have a go on that. And he was on it for six weeks. And then basically at uni, all the students got like an hour a week on it.

And he'd had- And he could really use that hour. That was the thing of it. And even like, I think about, like I always felt my stand-up career took off before I'd had my 10,000 hours of gigs that always stayed in my head. That I was like, I don't feel like I've had mine.

Yeah, you were rocketed through all the competitions. Yeah, but then I had to go, okay, well I have been acting for a long time before. Yeah, because acting is a similar thing or people who come from writing often, they are similar types of hours, if that makes sense. I remember when I did Live Out The Apollo for the first time, I felt like, oh my God, I've never even been in this room before. Whereas other people are like, I've come and watched and da da da. And I always felt, it always stayed at me at the start of my stand-up career. Like I haven't had my hours for everything to not be sort of on high tension because I'm

learning the size of rooms at the same time as having to do the gig and everything. But with acting, I sort of felt like I did have that. But I think the gendered side of maybe having a baby is that women tend to have been given 10,000 hours of holding babies because everyone hands babies to women in a room. And my passion has been, since she's been born, handing her to men first. So if friends come over, I hand the baby to men. I hand, I mean, you'd want to see some of like Jack's musician friends being like, me and I'm like, you.

But also that's helping women down the line because I went to a class with my sister when she was pregnant and her husband was at work. And so I went with her as the husband and myself and all the other dads had beers in between. I'm like, these ladies, am I right? I really enjoyed myself. One thing I noticed was at this class, all of the dads who were like lovely guys in their late thirties hadn't really held babies before and they were asking really simple questions, which of course they should be allowed to ask the silliest questions.

But I was like, oh, these are coming to parenthood, not having held babies. And so if you're tired, you will defer to the person with the most experience. And so a big thing is that if you have babies, hand them to your male friends and for men to feel comfortable going, oh, can I have a cuddle? Can I have a cuddle with the baby and to hold them or even an OZB comedy I give Saoirse to you or I give her to James Gill who runs OZB comedy and just try to hand her to like, Oh my God, Nish Kumar with that baby, he's just cuddling and squashing my little baby all the time and to try and you know, give men babies to cuddle. I definitely wasn't comfortable around babies when I had a baby.

And that's probably because you hadn't been handed them. They were all hogged by the older women in the family though. If you go to the family event the man or the aunties go, give them here. And then it's an actual almost a fight over the baby. Over the baby. And then if you're at the side you're like well I won't get involved in that. Because also as a man you feel like well obviously my mom missed having a baby it's unfair to take that moment away from that. Yes from that and I'll just let them get on with it kind of thing because also as well as a bloke if you go oh can I hold your baby yeah there was a little bit within society going all right fucking pervert especially if you lean into the microphone like like Josh I can give

me the baby give me the baby give me the baby but I think that's one thing we have to try and do and I've been really passionate about this is me kind of trying to like fly my little feminist flag in the small ways. So what you're telling me is women just hand your child to any men you see. Any men you see when they're out in the streets, especially the ones that look like they need a hug. No, they're not the ones to, I need a hug, can have your baby. Of course you can sir.

I heard it on a podcast that this is a way of being a feminist. And did Jack fail? Yeah, because he's got loads of nieces and stuff like that and kids in his family. So he's really used to kids. And the good thing about having ADHD is you're very child-friendly because you're nearly always like, blah blah blah. Yeah, of course. Did you used to do those kids gigs, Ashley? I did, but I would, people forget, and I think I talked to Ed and James about this on off-menu actually people forget what I know crossover listen listen I'm sorry guys I just use up the same content you guys all look the same to me exactly she asked for a Tommy tippy instead of sparkly water on that show as well

oh this was it what I mentioned on their thing was I'm more blue and please keep this in mind if you're booking for my tour, my material has a lot more sex and blueness in it than I remember or people think or even if they've come to see my gigs they remember. And I would go to do these kids gigs and then get through what I remembered was a lovely story about going to the shop and then it'd be like, Oh no, this ends in fingering. Am I going to pivot? And then we all went to the shop. I swear more than I think I do or people think I do.

Yes, yes, exactly. You don't come across as sweary but you are very f-bomby. I am. I swear more when I'm tired as well. Get it over the line. Yeah. Ashleigh, we always finish with the same question. This has been amazing by the way. I think it's really refreshing. We always end on the same question Ashleigh. Oh go on. Yes, Papa Dom's or bread?

Papa Dom's or bread. I love bread. I also quite like Papa Doms. This is a quantity. Potato waffles. Yeah. So body of Christ would be your tour name if you want to tie it in. Oh yes. We're not doing Papa Doms or bread. What we're doing. What one thing about your partner and we've spoken a lot about your partner and it seems like it's... Jack, yes. Well, I suppose it's been, I have such, it's putting dads into a focus and this is like a podcast by two dads and not having grown up with a dad. It stays in my head a lot about how to help us all.

I think it's a very positive thing about your relationship though, that you have, like, do you know what I mean? I'd say that comes across. What one thing about him blows your mind at how brilliant he is as a parent? Oh, and what one thing if he was listening, have you not brought up? That's just a small annoyance that you might call downstairs now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's great. So the one for if he's not listening, so he doesn't get a big head, I think wanting to be there and do the stuff and it was the feeding actually and how much he took to the passion of doing formula. So I didn't have to work it out and ask him to help me.

I had to help him work it out, if that makes any sense. So I wasn't the CEO of feeding, he was. So he was in charge of food. Okay. And you worked it out together or he took the lead rather than you? Yeah, and I still have never learned how to fold a buggy and I'm fine with that. I am still like working out the machine, the formula, the bottles. And I don't feel guilty about that because I've done loads of other stuff with my body, so fine.

Yeah. And I loved that that was never, I didn't have to ask that. And he also say books in the dentist and does a doctor appointments. And that was one conversation once and now his phone number is on it. And that's, I love that those things, which are so often deferred for no reason. There's no reason they have to be my job. Yeah. And I'm not better at them. I've also never had a kid before. There's not, you know.

And especially if you're working more. Exactly. And even if I was better at that side, I can't just step in and imagine that he will be able to get better if I'm always stepping in. So that's been a big part of it. And then if he listens, if you're listening, please stop leaving empty bottles of milk around the house. It's milk, even if it's formula, it's a heat wave. They're plastic bottles. Stop leaving them around the house because I have to go on my collection. I bring a basket around the house, like a lady from the 1800s, to collect like, look at these things, aren't they neat too? Don't you think my collection's

complete? And I'm putting old bottles into baskets and then bringing them downstairs in my elderly, yieldy basket. So I would love that to really be hammered home, stocked, leave empty bottles of milk. That's amazing. That's the thing. Let's hope they hear it. Yeah, I'd like to really hope that he hears it. I mean, I've said it. He's probably still listening to you off my new episode, isn't he?

It's been heard, but it hasn't been heard. Well, the good thing for me, even though, you know, even if he doesn't do anything about it, the baby will be off milk soon anyway and he'll look like he has. Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah. We'll just give her what my mother said was like, you just give her some 7-Up. What? In the end. I'm like, 7-Up? Really? Do you know what? It's fine. You were doing it on your own. 7-Up, of course. When would she give you 7-Up? Apparently, like, we had 7-Up quite, quite, yeah. I mean, there's a lot of things in Irish houses that I think are like, 7-Up is- It's quite specific, isn't it? You talk to anyone Irish and they're like, remember when I broke my arm and my mother gave me boiled 7 Up?

So what's the 7 Up? So boiled 7 Up is given to every Irish child and I think the idea would be like it was electrolytes with the bubbles taken out of it. What the electrolytes are is like pure sugar. Oh, it's an American drink. I was googling it thinking, oh, it must be an Irish sugar. Yeah, it's an American drink. I was about, I was Googling it thinking, oh, it must be an Irish drink. No, it's an American. No, 7Up is the most popular.

And we went to actually a course the other day. Um, one of those, you know, what to do if they're choking, what you call those first aid courses every day. And I was like, we'll go to that in person. And the woman doing it was brilliant at the center across the way. She was like, now if there's a burn, you don't put Sudah cream or Sudah creme, as some people say. We say Sudah creme. Yeah. You just say Sudah you don't put Sudah cream or Sudah creme as some people say. We say Sudah creme.

You just say Sudah creme. I hadn't even realised. It's spelled C-R-E-M-E isn't it? It is. I think something about me wants to be so down to earth that I couldn't even say creme. But apparently like we put Sudah creme, like I'd put Sudah creme on the baby when she wakes up just to make sure. Shut the eyelids back down again for another hour.

We look like ghosts hanging around the house with all the Sudacream, like everything is dealing with Sudacream and apparently you don't put Sudacream on burns, you put cling film if you're going to the hospital or you put Tim Foyle if you've run out. But yeah, so that was a real Sudacream and Boil 7 Up are like the two things that has gotten Irish people to the age of 18. Ashley, this has been amazing, thank you so much. It's been amazing, I'm going to go and have a 7 Up, good luck with the tour, when does it start?

February? February and the tickets are all on sale now. As I say, we've had a cork date and we've had the Apollo and stuff like that. So that's really nice. Brilliant. Amazing. Lovely to speak to you, Ash. All my love and also to everyone who's listening, who's a parent, just do your best. And I'm sure you're doing what's right for you and all the rest. And please don't add me with anything that you have tips for.

I really don't want to hear. This is all Ashleen's personal opinion that works for it. Bad news is Ashley. Please don't. They've already done that. Yeah. They haven't gone to the end of the podcast before doing that. No, I know. Gone to the end podcast.

Ashling Bay. That was great that one, Josh. Brilliant. So good. That was peak parent in hell. That's some really niche stuff that is incredibly important to a certain demographic about formula feeding and then pivoting into her daughter falling asleep watching you do stand up. Exactly, it's something for everyone.

There we go. She's great there, good luck to her. She's very funny, very good actor. And on tour. Older than Jesus. Older than Jesus, older than Jesus. I'll see you on Tuesday. On Tuesday, see you next Tuesday, you c***.