Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S10 EP7: I had a fight with Rob Beckett...

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... In this episode we discuss Josh's recent trip to see Sabrina Carpenter with his daughter. Rob hears from a guy he apparently had a fight with in school. And we call out for your submission for the new feature 'Other Parent W*nkers' Please follow and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener,

with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Atticus, can you say... Whoa, stop, hold. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa's put, yes, go on Rob, take the piss out of their names to exclamation marks. But look, my instinct is, right? I think that is her giving you license too, Rob.

This is my instinct, yeah? Life is hard enough. Don't add Atticus into the mix. Do you know what I mean? Going to a new job, hello, I'm Atticus. Atticus is thinking, okay, now here we go. I've not even been shown around the office yet, I'm having to explain that.

And you go, well, yeah, it means Attica is often associated with the beloved character Atticus Finch from Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird. And then there's someone in the office just looks at you. Did you just Google that? No. What makes you suggest that? The glare from my glasses. No, it was the way you the way you're the timber of your voice changed completely. Yeah, I read it.

Yeah. Anyway, go on Atticus. And can you say Josh Whiddicombe? Good boy. I love you. I love you. Bye. I love you, mommy. Oh, that's cute. He's very cute, Atticus.

He's three. What do you call him? Atti for short? He did this while his dad was away with the army. Oh, you're in trouble, Rob. Well, no, am I where the fuck is he? Uh, he's stationed in Bromley. Let's say reopened the Bigger Hill RAF center. He did this while his dad was away in the army for eight months. So it's clearly the light of this life.

Uh, it was a pretty wild time juggling work, Atticus and his elder brother. Go on. I've got a lit cheek of, I know. Caspian five. Two dogs, a cat and four ducks. Fucking hell. They're posh. He's a sergeant in the army. Yeah. Like thank you all for the laughs your podcast gave me over those months. Even though there were times I shut myself in a dark room and screamed,

I've listened from the start and have recruited my husband to the podcast gang since his return. Oh dear, Rob. Well, hey, look, you can't look at the children called Atticus and Caspian. What do you want from me? Look, I don't even think they're bad names. I think they're quite, they sound quite nice. But I'm just saying you give a child that name, you are giving them a slightly more unique life. Yeah. Unless they're proper posh and they're going to boarding school and stuff, then it's fine. Well, where do you want to have a guess where they go? Where they live?

Oh, they will live somewhere like Windsor way sort of that posh bit of southern. Slightly further out. Where's that? Do you know where Ivo Graham's from? Swindon. Yeah, Wiltshire. Wiltshire. Yeah, big posh Wiltshire boys. Thanks for being so funny and honest about the wild ride that his parent had from Anna 38. This is an interesting role. She's put, I can't be asked to work out a month so I'm already on my second glass of wine. Fine.

What time is this sent? Yeah, 7. a.m. No, I Either and there's an absolute piss head that keeps giving her kids names for banter when she's shitfaced at 7 a.m Oh She's not just done the clever thing of sending it at 7th 20 a.m. On the Monday, which is what she's done Yeah, she set it to send Rob. Or saved in draft and banged it out in the morning to get top of the list.

Yes. It's quite interesting actually, Anna, she's been solo parenting basically, because her husband's been away. I would quite like to get some more advice for people and stories because I'm in the midst of a hardcore work session at the moment where- You were in India with Ramesh. I was in India for like five nights and I go away on tour for like five nights

and another three nights. So it's like between now and June, I'm away two or three nights a week, sometimes for a whole week. And then I go, it's hard man. So I don't know what I'm asking for here, but Louie's dealing with a loss at the moment. I'm busy with work,

but she's looking after kids nonstop and working. Rob, I've got a message for you. Yeah. From Chris McCausland. Yes, Chris McCausland, strictly champion, brilliant comic. I don't want to steal Rob's glory. I'm doing quite a few. One, four, eight on this tour.

He's doing the one, four, eights! You were doing a two, five, eights. Two, five, eight was doing three shows in one in one theater. So you get there and do a two o'clock, five o'clock, eight o'clock. He's doing a one o'clock, four o'clock. Eight o'clock. Oh, why is he starting an hour earlier? Big gap.

There's a big gap between the four eight. Maybe as a kit then. Well, he's also doing this like you are planning on doing that on your next tour out of pure choice. I think he's doing it to capitalize on the Strictly lift. Well, he's doing it because the tour was in and then he's had the Strictly thing so they've had to keep adding shows. One that is, that's a lot in it. Well, Chris, let's start. Good luck with it. Let us know you go. I hope you've got a tour manager. I hope you're not doing all the driving. Oh, that is good stuff. Keep yourself well rested.

I'm gonna ask him now. What if he's driving? What are you asking him? What the 148 is like? He's just put, I don't want to steal Rob's thunder, but I'm doing a lot of 148s. I think it's the future. Do you? Yeah, but he's got a great work ethic.

Do you know what? It's the future for people that? Yeah. But he's got a great work ethic. Do you know what? It's the future for people that are a little bit more loose with their show. Some people are heavily scripted and don't go off piste at all. If you're heavily scripted, I think you might go mad. I don't know. I think it's easier if you're heavily scripted because- You just churn it out.

Well, like, so I've done, you know when you you do when I was in the clubs, Rob, or when I was doing warm ups. So sometimes, shout out to Math Brown and his gigs in southwest London, which are lovely gigs, the outside the box gigs. Math Brown will give me four gigs in one night sometimes, in exchange for coming to southwest London. But you have to drive to different places. That's the difficulty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what I mean is, so I haven't got to the point. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, Josh. And my point is, because you're quite loose when you're doing,

working, you're not in the same set four times. By the third and fourth one, because you're loose, it's quite difficult to remember, A, if you said this thing to the crowd in the last place or this place, B, if you've done that bit of material if you haven't. I think if you're doing three shows in a day, it's actually an advantage to be word for word, because then you're not opening all those questions of who the fuck was that guy in the front row? Because was that the guy at two o'clock? Was Jeff at two o'clock who works in IT or is he in this show? What you might need to do is if you're doing three, write down and you come you write a

little note after the interval, write down a few of the people who spoke to you to try and remember. Yeah. Anyway, well, good luck, Chris. It's a brilliant show. Chris, one of the funniest comedians in the country. So happy he's smashing it with his torso. Keep us updated on the 148. Keep us updated on the... That sounded so cool, Rob. Keep us updated on the 148, mate. Yeah.

Oh, God. I tell you what, John... Are you having a bad time, Rob? You've been away in India for a week. You've got a little mustache. I've got a little mustache. Like Mickey Pierce from Only Fools and Horses. I do look like Mickey Pierce. I'm growing the rest clean shaven and the mustache.

It was absolutely horrific. But I'm growing the beard back and keeping the mustache. I see what it looks like with the mustache. He's quite branson. Yeah. The hair and mustache. My hair needs cutting. But Josh, I've got no time.

I've got something on your hairdresser. Is this a bad time to interrupt? What, my hairdresser? Yeah, go on. Right. So I did a gig, Rob. Charlotte? No, not Charlotte. Wait, what? Charlotte's my hairdresser. Yeah, okay. So I did a gig. There's a man in the front row. Yeah.

I've been sitting on this footage for two weeks, ready to put it on Instagram as some crowd work, which I don't do very often. Hello, Mr. Modern. Hello, Mr. Modern. I've been saving this MDMA for Glastonbury. I got it six months ago. Good guy, apparently.

Some of the best stuff you can get. And it's just been in my wallet, ready to go, and I'm feeling ready. Great impression of Atticus in 20 years. Atticus is going to make some serious decisions that affect everyone I know. A name like that he's going for. So Rob, big question. Hairdresser. I bumped, there was a man in the front row.

Yeah. I'll give you his name. I want you to tell me why he's relevant to your life. This is a great game. You'll get it. Yeah. But this is fun though, your life. This is a great game. You'll get it. Yeah, but this is fun. Go on. His name is Devon. Devon?

Yeah. His name is Devon. Yeah. And I know Devon. Devon's only fight in his life was with you. His only fight? And he shares a hairdresser with you. Devon?

Yeah. Who's Devon? I had a fight with Devon. He went to your school. Yeah. He had a fight with you. Devin? Yeah. Who's Devin? I had a fight with Devin. He went to your school. Yeah. He had a fight with you. Devin? You told him, I said, what was Rob like?

He said, I didn't like him at school, but he's really nice now, we share a hairdresser. Who the fuck's Devin? I had a fight with a kid called Devin. He claims that you said he jumped you with a load of his mates, but he says it was a fair fight fight and he had a fight with you. What age was he? This is Devin.

Devin, has he changed his name? I can't. What's he look like? I'll tell you what he looked like. He won't look... What age was this? Oh, we just got a text from Chris McCausland. I tell you what, for a blind man, his admin skills are fucking exceptional. Honestly, he's outrageous.

He's not up to type, does he? Yeah. What's he said? The first one felt like too much. The second one was not as bad. I think I'm acclimatizing. Yeah. It's not so much the physical energy as your voice is knackered and your throat is dried out

by the last one. Of course. But Rob doesn't shut the fuck up anyway, so he'll be fine. Exactly. I'd be talking if I was on stage or not! I did the first triple in Bridlington, the second one in Norwich. It's a shame because the show you were knackered for is the one that the people bought the tickets for first. Right. Okay, he just has to pace himself. People are bang up for comedy at 1pm though. I think it feels a bit naughty for them.

Yes, that's what I feel. I love it, it's great. You have a bit of lunch, you've got the afternoon. I love it. I'm going to do a full mat, maybe I'll just do a full mat in a tour. Why don't, how about this? 11.25. Rob is now pitching. 11. 1.4? 11.25. No, 11.25. No, it's a too big a gap between 11 and... No, it's three hours gaps. That's three hours gaps.

Yeah, okay, it's perfect. Yeah, yeah. Devon! What age was I? Was it Darren? It can't have been Darren. James Gill. I'm sure I never went to school with a kid called Devon. Here we go. Ever see Rob Beckett kicking around Bromley? No. No? Oh, you do. Do you? Yeah.ett kicking around Bromley? No?

Oh, you do. Do you? Are you from Bromley? We're in Orpington. You're in Orpington? You went to school with him, here we fucking go! That's a good crowd there Josh, this is gonna go viral. Have you ever seen them kicking around?

I think you're a bit younger. I was in his class. You were in his class? Really? What do you remember, you? Yeah. Oh no. I don't think you got the name right, Devon. How would I get that wrong?

You've spoken to him since. Do you like him? Did you like him at school? No. He's always going to say no for the last four. Do you think he's better as a public figure than as a school chump? You had a fight with him in school! You what?

It was my only fight. But what an anecdote! Who won the fight? It was your only fight. In your life was with Rob Beckett. And did you beat him up? No, from my phone group he remembered it. He said, yeah you ch jumped me right in the nose.

No one else. Yeah, you said you did. Was he quite small? Yeah, he's got like an emo haircut. Right, so I think he had a mate called Paul. Right. I thought his name was Dan, not Devon. Maybe his name was Dan at school.

It might have been his surname, Devon, but I'd have basically, if this is the same fight I remember, he come up to and started giving it to me. Yeah. And then his mate Paul, who's but slightly bigger than me was giving it to me. And they were both pushing me and trying to fight me. So I picked him up and threw him over a fence and punched his mate. That's the only one I can remember at that school. But he's Devin. I remember it started with a D, that kid had a fight.

But I don't think it was Devin. But it might have been Dan Dawa. Dawa? Well, there you go. Anyway, if he wants round two, he can fucking bring it. He goes to your barbers, Rob. Does he? For the Evo haircut?

Yeah, he goes to your barbers for Charlotte. I'll ask her when I get my haircut, which I desperately need. Anyway, you're talking about your hair. Yeah. I nearly can't, I haven't got time. I'm so busy. Poor Lou is taking absolute bullets with the kids because I'm away so much and I'll come back and then I'm away again. And it's so awkward because I sort of say, yeah, cause I'm away again. Yeah.

It's quite intense. And I've come back, Josh, from India. Have you been to India? No. Did you find yourself? Yeah. All over the bathroom floor. Oh yeah. I was my stomach. So I've India? Yeah, all over the bathroom floor. Oh yeah. I was my stomach. So I've India, right? I love the people. Brilliant people. Quite good banter. Actually. Everyone saw just laughing and giggling all the time. They're really like laid back fun people. Food is incredible. Yeah.

There's just rubbish everywhere. You go, go over a river and it's just absolutely Where were you? Mumbai. Theles are absolutely full of like, like I'd just been throwing my recycling bin in it. And then that is so thick with pollution, but you can't go in. You're, it's on the sea, but you can't go in the sea because it's too dirty. And then everyone on the shoot shit themselves. Did that every, my stomach's been Josh. My life at the moment is I have two slices of dry toast and then an hour later,

it's just water out of me. Oh no. And then I just, I just don't know what to do, Josh. I haven't, I've not farted in confidence for four days. Sorry. I've seen anyone's distance this in the morning, but I'm in a bad way here, Josh. So why did, how long does it last? I don't know. It's just, I'm empty. I'm just empty all the time. I'm just tired. There's nothing, there's nothing in the tank, Josh. Absolutely nothing in the tank.

And then, and then you're coming back and then you're telling Lou that you're going to do a one, five, six at Norwich or whatever you're going to do. Well, I got home, landed at 6.30 AM at Gatwick. I was on a double. Ron went off to do the radio show. Yeah, I know the serial killer. That bloke needs to calm down. I landed at 6.30 AM in Gatwick.

She's like next door to his house. And I was like, where are you going? He's like, radio show. I landed at 6 AM in Gatwick, which is like next door to his house. And I was like, where are you guys at? Radio show. I was like, you are on crack, mate. I was at a dog walk and then we had a chilled day at home. And then I'm getting the kids from school today and I'm gonna take them swimming.

So I said, I'll do that. So. Don't shit yourself in the pool, mate. Do you know what? It's at the point now where I'll try not to, but this is how I live now. I've got extra stuff from Chris McCausland. Oh yeah, go on.

He says he's been nicking those single shot honeys from the hotels and pouring them down his throat before the gigs to help his voice. Single shot honeys? That sounds like some FHM thing. You know the little jars of honey? Yeah, he's just knocking them. Knocking them from the hotels. Yeah, you've got I think though, if you're gonna do 158 whatever

he's doing 148, you've got I think he should hire a voice coach to teach him warm ups for his voice. Yeah. He says he can't just he, he says he can't just change the times and pretend he's being original. Who, me? Yeah, because I said you're gonna do 1125. Have you thought about doing 11258? Yeah, I now have.

Imagine. No, but the idea is just so I'm not away from home as much. He may have been first, but I'll be the one that's remembered for doing it. That's the way I'm talking about it. He'll have done it first, but I'm gonna nick his idea and repackage it. Oh yeah, that's good. That's good.

Okay, let me tell you something. This is a weird episode. I met an unlikely fan of our book. Okay, go on. I was working with him. Yeah. He said, oh, I've got the book he did with Rob, Gary, my drummer, bought it for me. And I read it. I was in downstairs toilet. I read

every time I go to the toilet. Who's that? Pete Doherty. No. So Pete Doherty, he likes the Parent in Hell book. I never thought he'd be a reader of that. No, you know, loves the great poets, you know, one of the most learned men in rock. And yeah, he sat on the toilet having a shit. He's quite into his literature, isn't he? I've never had him down for a Parent in Hell book. I don't know whether he'll be quoting us in his songs, but there we go. What else have I been up to, Rob?

You've been doing lots with the kids, haven't you, at the moment? You've been to Sabrina Carpenter, is that correct? Oh yeah, should I give you the Sabrina update? Yeah. Yeah, okay. So I went on last Sunday to Sabrina Carpenter. As you know, I was nervous. Her Brits performance didn't set my nerves down. Because you was worried it was gonna be too raunchy

for your daughter and you might get a boner? No, I didn't. I wasn't worried about the second. That's always a danger, maybe get a boner. I wasn't gonna get a boner. No, I didn't know I wasn't worried about that. That's always a danger. Maybe get a boner. I wasn't gonna get a boner. So I stopped getting busted. No, that's not true.

You sit on the wheel arch mate. You get yourself on that wheel arch. Do you know, my son fucking loves the bus. And there's no point doing anything else. I should just go, you go to do anything with him and he's just, are we going to get the bus there? And you're like, why am I going to do this thing? Just sit on the bus.

Just do the fucking bus. Front row of the upper deck is just his absolute. He just goes totally silent. Yeah, just find one that's a loop. You take a boot. He can just look out the window. So we turn up at Sabrina Rob. Yeah. The cues the merch are I've been to a lot of gigs of varying sizes. So I know what what the cues look like at

the O2. They were insane. Yeah, they love a bit of merch. And I thought, well, we'll do merch first. Get this done. Yeah. Was it just you and her? Just me and her. Yeah So I described the clientele of the gig as Fun Hendoo Fun Hendo, I'll be younger than that. There's there was some teenagers. Yeah, and then there was a lot of like 2030s right? Okay No cue for the gents Right, okay. No cue for the gents.

Absolutely not. We get to the merch. First thing I see is a football shirt. A football shirt? Sabrina Carpenter football, you know, like football shirt. Yeah. I thought, oh, that'd be good. Then I see the back of it.

What's on the back? What? Carpenter 69, of course. She doesn't give a fucking shit, Rob. She does not. I think you would have bought that if it didn't have Carpenter 69 on it. I would have, yeah. I would have.

It's such a bold number. If I saw a car, I'd be like, oh, I'm going to buy that. I'm going to buy that. I'm going to buy that. I'm going to buy that. I'm going to buy that. I'm going to buy that. I'm going to buy that. I'm going to buy that. I'm going to buy that. I'm you would have bought that if it didn't have a carpenter 69. Yeah, I would have. It's such a bold number. If I

sold Beckett 69 shirts at my gigs, it would be like disgusting, awful, horrendous. I've actually got a tour t shirt, maybe you know, maybe they've this sports brand Mabah. I wore one of his, one of his shirts, the download shirts in the download festival from Romesh. He was like, Oh, thanks for doing that. It really like people like wanted to buy one after.

So he went, I want to make you a shirt. So he's made me a giraffe tour shirt. So it looks like a proper football team. He's got Beckett, it's just got number 10 on the back. No name. But I am. What's wrong Beckett. No, it's just got number 10 on the back. No, no. But I am fruit. What's wrong with you? Not like shagging, Rob.

I love shagging, but I've always hated 69ers too much. Bang, not enough buck. No 69 for me. Thank you. Number 10 fees for sensible dad over here. But I'm going to post it on Instagram. And if people want you and Sabrina to know, no, no, no. Yeah. You know what, Rob? You? No, no, no, yeah. An AI.

Do you know what, Rob? You'd break the internet. Oh, God. No. I think before it got taken down, that would be the most traffic you'd ever got. No, I'm going to post my... Do you want a collab on this, Sabrina?

Or should we just put it... No, I'm going to post me in the football shirt and if enough people want to buy one, we'll do a limited release. Okay. I want to buy one. people want to buy one will do a limited release. Okay, I want to buy one. You want to buy one? Well I would be gutted if you make me pay. So now I've got to make one just to buy off the guy to give to you, yeah?

No, no, no. If you're not making any others, don't bother, don't make one just for me. But if you're making a short run of 100. Yeah, let me send you these. Looking at it now, I'm good actually. I knew you'd say that. Bit of fun. Oh, it's lovely you these. Looking at it now. I'm good actually. Bit of fun. Oh, it's lovely. Do you know what it reminds me of? What's that? Cambridge United. Oh no. I thought it was actually a little bit more Arsenal away. Oh, Arsenal 91 away. Yeah, but it's cool when it was draft or. Yeah, that is beautiful. So I'll post that picture this

week and if people want to get one, we can work maybe work something out. Anyway, so let's get back to Sabrina Carpenter. So I bought Sabrina. You didn't buy a full shirt with 69 on it. Now I've got my t-shirt on now Rob. You got Sabrina Carpenter t-shirt? I bought myself a Sabrina Carpenter t-shirt. And it's white, just her in blue. It's the tour t-shirt.

I bought my daughter her t-shirt. So what t-shirt size do you buy your daughter when she gets merch? Extra small and it's still too big but I think she'll grow into it at some point. Exactly. And they, but ours where, where their Taylor Swift ones is like nighties to bed. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I think it's annoying that they don't do kid sizes, but obviously there's not the demand. No, no, no. I think it's great. So I think if you get a small, I would get always got like a small woman's size. So then, cause if they get to that 17, 18, 20, whatever, don't we haven't like, imagine having like the Taylor Swift top from

like that year and it still fits. It's so cool. If you imagine something, you know, an away-sis shirt. She can have this. She can have that. She can have that. Exactly. So we go into the gig. I love the Next Generation Rob. They're brilliant. They are so much more respectful to support acts than we are. Yeah. Oh, really? It was brilliant. I went in, Rachel Chinneriri was on, who. Yeah. Oh really? It was brilliant. I went in, Rachel Chinneriri was on, who's very good, right? It was full and everyone

was singing along and you're like, this is fucking brilliant. Really? Yeah. And it was the same with Paramore. I know Paramore are massive anyway, but Paramore and Taylor Swift. Whereas when you, when we go and see Oasis Rob in the summer, Richard Ashcroft is going to have fucking people talking through him, going, when's he going to play fucking Bittersweet Symphony, this fucking prick. I think that young girls like Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter fans, it's all about supporting them as artists and if they pick them as the support, then you have to love them.

Yeah. And then Sabrina was Taylor Swift's support, and then she, even after her first song was like, give out for Rachel Jennery, blah, blah, blah. So that was like a good, you know, I just liked it. I liked it, Rob. You had a great time, and was it a nice bonding time with your daughter?

It was brilliant, Rob. I had the best time. The show was great. See, can I ask something here? Because you sing really loudly along to stuff on your Instagram videos. Are you singing throughout the whole show and dancing a bit stood up? I can't help it if I sing along. No, no, no, no, you've got to stand up. You've got to stand

up. Because even though we're in the seats. Right. But do you sing along to all the songs? No, no, I don't. I don't know all of them. I only know four or five. Because did your daughter find it embarrassing yet? Well, no, not yet. But it's kind of, I had a conversation with them. Because I've seen you sing along and you look like a muppet, Because did your daughter find it embarrassing yet? Well, no, not yet. But it's coming.

I had a conversation with... I've seen you sing along and you look like a Muppet, live action Muppet movie. But you've come alive. The jaws swinging, the eyes are open, the hands are up. And you're loving life. And I think it's great. Rob, I'm aware of this. Your daughter will hate it.

That's my mum with me. But she currently thinks... So one of the classroom assistants, I saw her the next day. And she was like, I said to your daughter, you've got the coolest dad, because he's singing along Sabrina Carpenter. And I thought because my daughter had said it to her that dad was singing and dancing along. I was like, oh, God, I hadn't even really realized I was doing that.

Yeah. Throughout the gig. And then I realized that, ah, this is this got to stop because she's seven now. But this is Don't stop waiting till she says that. Because there's a moment where she goes, Dad, can you not and you have to go, okay. Well, when we were walking out of the O2, you know, as you come out that foyer, yeah, you know, the main bit you walk in through, and there were like dads stood there clearly waiting to pick up their daughters who'd obviously not been allowed

in with their daughters or sons. Yeah, or they just buy tickets. Or wives. No, but also it's a expensive ticket as well. So if you can get two tickets and two like 13 year olds going together, you just have a bit waiting outside. Yeah. And I thought, oh, God, that's going to be me

and I'm going to want to go in there. And you know, but I love it. I love, I love, I love the, the boom in female pop stars, Rob. It's just, it's empowering. It's great. It's great. We had the best time. I'm glad you had the best time.

And there was a bit of a problem coder. So the one saucy song was Bed Chem. Bed Chem, right. Bed Chemistry. And does she sing along to these songs, your daughter? So, a bit, but she doesn't really know what she's singing along to. And so that's, the whole thing is done in a, it's like a house, like a kind of, so it's different rooms. She sings one song from the toilet, one song from, you know. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. And their bed cam is done on the bed. And then the dance is incredibly sexy, but it's like shot from above the bed with her and six dancers, like they're lying down doing this dance. Any Beefeaters?

There was no Beefeaters, but there was a bloke who then it ends with like a silhouette of her and the bloke kind of canoodling and falling down on the bed. Canoodling, okay. And it was that fun? Your daughter didn't really notice. I don't think she'd know what that meant. Canoodling. Well, yeah, she's not aware of canoodling. Yeah, no, I mean, I forgot he existed. I don't think I've ever canoodled. When was the last time you canoodled?

It can feel like that when you got young kids, Rob. You've been in India a week. Come back. Thanks for a quick canoodle, Lou. Oh, we went out yesterday and Lou got a bit drunk. And then she didn't want to be drunk in front of the babysitter. So she come back in and then she was like, Oh, I'm just going to go upstairs and take my shoes off because my shoes are hurting. And she's like, run away. She was so pissed. You must have you ever been in? Well, you don't drink anymore,

drunk in front of the babysitter and it's embarrassing. Yeah, I remember getting back from the we went to the final of German England won the one day cricket final on the last ball? Yes. Yeah, we had tickets to that. So we went to that and it went on so much longer than anticipated, obviously. And we've been drinking since like midday. And so I remember, I don't really remember the match ending, but I remember the kind of Rick just grin. I can still see the kind of grin of the babysitter who worked at the nursery. Lovely girl. But just seeing you stumbling that old... Yeah, and she didn't care.

She didn't care that England, that whoever it was, Joffra Archer had bowled over that won the match or whatever. Yeah. Maybe we could put a shout out if you've got any funny stories of coming home drunk to the babysitter or from the babysitter's point of view, when has anyone come home, any horror stories from being a babysitter and parents coming home too late or drunk or not coming home at all, go missing, stuff like that. Confessions of the babysitters would be great. I think.

Yeah. Cause my friend, he used to get a babysitter and it was too far, he said for her to walk home. Right. So he'd walk her home, which is fine. But I used to think she's hating that. So the dad would walk the dad. So this dad would get home, then have to walk the babysitter home 45 year old man would get home battered, drunk, and then sell just walk you home and then make conversation with this 16 year old girl for a mile. I said, because I had a couple of drinks yesterday and I'm tired now. I just don't think I, I've, my schedule is so busy. I don't have time to recover. Yeah. So like I've got time to go out and have a couple of beers, but I like, I'm so back into it. I'm not working 10, 12 days straight now, the next 12 days. I can't start that hungover. This is me. I just into it. I'm not working 10 12 days straight now the next 12 days. Oh my

God. I'm like I can't start that hungover. This is me. I just can't. I've got one or two is right. When it gets to four or five it's too much. Yeah it's too much Rob. But you're loving not drinking aren't you? I love it. It's great. Yeah I'm fine and when I get ill I go oh yeah I forgot that you could feel shit. Do you know what I mean, that used to be how I felt quite a lot. Yeah, four times a week. Oh, come on, let's just get through this. I forgot that the days where you're like, I can't wait for bed. Yeah, I know you're just counting. That is so awful when you hung over just learn. Yeah, don't worry, just have eight hours, I'll be in bed. Or just, you know, just do the podcast. Go and get the car cleaned.

Go and pick up the kids. Take them swimming. Go and take them get something to eat. And then, for you know, it's bedtime, isn't it? Oh, God. Yeah, I'm gonna have a break from drinking. I had parents evening, Rob. Oh, yeah. How was that? All good. One small funny issue. They had a class disco. Yeah. all the kids had to suggest songs for the class disco. My daughter suggested Bed-Cam. Did it get picked? No, he said they did a they did a clean version of espresso. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Not Bed-Cam. Not Bed-Cam. No. So, how's parents? All good though, all new good news from the parents evening? Yes, yes, all good. I hate. So one of my friends said that his

mate put up a post of like, his son's parents evening and how amazing it had gone. Oh god, vomit inducing. What did it say? It said, oh, like, he's the star of the class. He's, he's actually, he's a year above the rest of them in terms of his development, all this kind of, it's just like, what's stop being such a c***. Can we do, can we do a feature? We might need to rename it

because at the moment it's called, um, school c***. Other parent wankers or something. Other parent wankers or something other parent wankers and do it anonymously. Just tell us a story about the biggest wanker parent at your school. This bloke did something on the track that it wasn't a school but it was on a train platform yesterday, right? But on the platform and then it's a busy Saturday, no Sunday it was was going up to London. And I was trying to keep a low profile. But unfortunately for me, there's a giant poster of my head doing the you know, the Amazon last one laughing show.

Yeah, they are going mental with the billboards for that. Have you seen it? I'm like every train station or tube there is like, there's a lot of promo in there. So I'm still on the platform in front of my face the same size as my face on a massive billboard, which is quite awkward. And there's like 10 people on that billboard. So for you to be that big, that means there's 10 people. It was like the size of like four houses together and on the platform. And then this guy, he just turned around and was like, excuse me, everyone. My son doesn't think that Hungary is a country. Can you all tell him that it is? Oh, fuck off. Fuck off.

Everyone just looks at him in silence. And then- Just Google it. Just Google it and show him. Just Google it and show him. I'll go, no, it is. Here is a show. And then go to the capitals, Budapest. Here's the- How old is your son? Seven. Here are my seven-year-olds. And then literally there was a collective, what a prick. From everyone. I mean, this guy's

living his life thinking that's the right thing to do. What he's done is try to humiliate his son because his son didn't listen to him rather than going, all right then if you don't believe me, don't believe me, who cares? Or- Bit of fun. Also, presumably his son doesn't think it is because it's a funny word, right? His wife and these other two kids were just literally- Oh God, there's more there. Were just, were like hiding in embarrassment.

And he stood there with his shit, shit brown brogues on with weird boot cut jeans and a big long like a business coat and then a terrible like sort of backpack you'd have hiking. And I was looking, I'm going, you are a prick and you're embarrassing your son. You fucking prick. I can't stand that. That makes my blood boil. It's hard enough to be a parent to make the right decisions to do good things. And we all make mistakes and things will go wrong.

What did everyone do? Did anyone say? No one responded. They just looked at anyone. There'll be more of this on the train probably. And I'm like, are you training to be a prick? What do you mean there'll be more of this on the train? As if we're all bloody wacky and he won't listen to me, there'll be more of this on the train. And I'm like, no there won't mate. You might be saying it, but we're all going to ignore you because we all, you've made

150 people think you're a wanker like that. You've made 150 people look at a billboard they don't want to look at because they're so awkward. I think it's funny when me and Rom came back to the airport at 6am was waiting for our baggage and people coming up to us for selfies and stuff, which is fine. But it was like six am so I was like, yeah, okay, no worries. And just looked like horrific. To be fair, that mum that sent the email in was already a glass of wine down by that point. Exactly. 6am and this woman came and she went, can I get a photo? Yeah, no worries. And then she went to take it like of us, me and Rom and I went, you're not getting

any, she went, no, I don't want a photo this early, I look terrible. I was like, I don't either. I thought we're going down, we're going down together, getting the photo. What, what is the use of that photo? She can see a photo of you and Romesh anywhere. Anywhere. She can see a photo of you and Ramesh. Anyway, anyway, she can see a photo of you at Beckham train station. Anyway, so I grabbed the finger. Now you're getting it. Um, but yeah, no,

that, yeah, I think we should do that. Stories of wankers from school and the parent you all hate and you there's probably WhatsApp groups about them. Also, yeah, the worst child, worst bragging about your children. I want parents living their lives through their children. We want the worst examples of that. We content machines Rob, we put out about six things. Thanks guys. Yeah, let's get this bloody going. I've got a few bits to talk to you about because I was supposed to a little bit. Yeah, do because I often feel like, you know, you've been away a week and it does feel longer. Oh, God, because we had a little break, because we did one before.

But I tell you what, I've got a few things here to go through. So my daughter was saving up for a hamster. We know this, don't we? So she could she should get hamster next four or five weeks. There's a hamster song they like called All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth. That was a big famous pop song in the kind of 70s, 80s, was it? But it's been done now, it's done with... It's been re-released.

But no, it's done by, they're called like the Hamsters or something. Oh right, yeah, that wasn't the original. No, it wasn't the original. And this Hamster song, yeah, when I'm doing like Spotify for this Hamster song, and I say play, all I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth, right, it comes up and the options are that song and then underneath is easy ease Christmas song. Yeah, yeah. And the song and it's written right underneath it. And I don't know why it comes up is Merry

motherfucking Christmas. Can I have the singing amsters all outside if you if you could do it now when you search on please play all of Christmas is my two front teeth by the singing hamsters, it'll come up kids are excited and the other two options of song is easy mother fucking Christmas. Oh wow. That should be coming up shouldn't it? Oh it was written in the 40s this song. I only knew the version that was like the girl, oh there's loads of versions of this

but there was a version that was a big hit in the 80s or 70s. Anyway carry on. There's loads of versions of this, but there was a version that was a big hit in the 80s or the 70s. Anyway, carry on. Oh, so it was my daughter had homework, right? And Lou printed off the sheet for us to do it. And she was doing it. And then she went, I've already done this homework. And was like, no, you haven't.

It's another math sheet. Stop trying to get out of it. And Lou was like, as she thought, I said to Lou, she's done it. She said, no, she hasn't done it. It's a new one. And then she was kicking off. And I'm not doing it. I've already done it. I'm not doing it. And then we're back three minutes later. She's gonna be right.

Yeah. She done it. Lord found it completed and she was right. And Lou was like, Oh, I'm sorry. And then Lou went, the thing is, what you know, the good thing is, we did like admit it and tell her, you know, because some parents wouldn't have admitted it and just made her do it again. I was like, Yeah, what serial killers? Don't start giving yourself praise for, you can't gaslight your child. Yeah, because some, but no, you have to go, sorry. You know, I know you've already done it. We found it. But yeah, she was, but after that, the power the child's got over the parents in that situation is outrageous.

Do you know what tonight is Rob? What's tonight? First night without a nappy overnight. Really? How are you feeling? You'll be all right, won't you? Eh, bit of fun, isn't it? Come on, my dear, please. I'm too tired and empty. It's the 8PM show, that's all you're fucking getting, okay?

I think your banter on the 8PM show is gonna be so bad. No, it'll be fine. When 158 happens, guys, buy tickets to 105, for the love of God. No, there's a sort of g when 158 happens guys buy tickets to one or five for the love of god. No, there's a sort of giddiness to the eight. There's a giddiness to the eight. There's excitement that is early to the one. There's a wow I've got done two shows here on the second and then eight o'clock there's a giddiness. It's the last one back in the car home for Saturday. Do you know what the last words you're gonna hear before you die are Rob? What's that? Before the person shoots you they're gonna say they're gonna be at

the theatre door and they're gonna say I watched your one five and eight today. Oh my god. Anyway yes first night no nappy. Oh that well good luck keep us posted. Yeah I will do. I nearly cut my thumb off the other day. Oh, yeah, you could have taken over from me on the last leg. Cutting chilies. It was the most pain I've ever had in my life because I Did you get any chili in the car? Yeah, loads. It was like dripping off the night and I

literally held my thumb in the air and screamed. You know like in a cartoon. I was all absolutely I thought I chopped it off. The pain was so bad. But it was just a just a chili chili juice, Josh, just a chili juice. Just a chili juice. Um, what else is it? The dog had a bad foot for a bit and he was sad and didn't move. And it was probably the easiest the dog's been the entire time. How did you still get on with the dogs? Yeah, I do like the dogs. They've calmed down now, but they like, when he's got a bad leg, they're quite, they just sit, they sit like a dog from a, like a, dog from a movie that's always just sat down on the floor.

So this is something I do Josh, which I think is quite bad. When like delivery guys turn up. Yeah. And you have to do small talk. Do you? Well, sometimes if I'm out the side of my house, it's sort of like they've come to they've come too far for your house to not talk to them. Yeah. So my house is literally on the front door and in and out Bosch London where they're worried about their parking ticket. Exactly. They're not worried about, they can pull up right outside and they can, and sometimes I have to wait slightly for us to answer it and then the

gates open and then they come in and there's a bit of an awkward like between the gate and then come into the house. There's like a little bit of a gap where it's sort of like that. Do I talk and then you've got two mile drive. I mean, I wish. Um, but there is a more, it's just more space in the countryside. And what I realized I do is I just absolutely hammer-loo.

Like, I'm a sexist pig from the 80s. Oh, she ordered... What has she ordered now? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if it's mine. Yeah. I'll be like, what's she ordered now? What's she ordered from myretrofootballshirts.com?

And then he's like, yeah, she's got something else on her bloody night there, hasn't she? And I'm like, I'm only doing it to sort of survive the small talk, but I'm like, this is bad. You're selling her down the river. I am. I'm like, I'm just throwing her under the bus, even if it's something I've ordered.

And how often is it something you've ordered? I'd say that there is a parcel delivered every day I know I'd say I'm one no, but it's easy Lou. I reckon I have four things a month and It is non-stop the car is Every time I come out like sometimes I come home. I'm like, I don't think it's not my house. Is it? Let's all this stuff up It's like a new type new lamp new coffee tables. That's something else has gone for quite like that, don't think it's not my house, is it? Where's all this stuff up? It's like a new lamp, new coffee table, something else has gone. I thought, I quite like that, but never mind, that's gone.

I quite like that little table, is that gone? Yeah, don't like it. All right, fair enough, good to know you don't like it in our house. Off it goes. But yeah, it's nonstop. I don't know when it ends, Josh. It's still got an hole in the ceiling.

Oh, what? Well, they were trying to wait. Are they stopped? It's not rained, is it? It did, it rained the other day. It pissed it down. For once. And then we found a leak. So actually, I'm going to ring him up

and get him to come around and sort that out this week. Because we've had a bit of rain now. And we saw where the leak's coming from. Oh, I saw Jason from Gutter Pro the other day, Rob. Oh, how's he doing? All right. Yeah, he's coming back to do the backs. And he said he's going to settle a few scores with you.

What, me? Well, because I said he didn't go up on a ladder. He just popped his own camera in. Yeah. All I wanted to know is he charging extra for the camera? I'll ask him when he comes around. Exactly. Get his price list.

How are your guys? Good. Oh, quick shout out to small businesses actually, while we're on. Go on. I've used two small business shout outs in the last week, Rob. Okay, go on. Grazy Pickle. Yeah.

We use them. We've used them actually, because they're really good. They're really good. Buffet food. And they said, when they delivered, they were so thankful for the small business shout out. Yeah. They were like, it changed their business completely. So that's nice to hear. Oh that's good. And also I started taking my own lunch to the last leg Rob, because there's just not enough good takeaway options that are light in Elstree area. Right, okay, so you're trying to be healthy. Because I'm a wanker.

No, you're not, you're just being healthy and taking your diet seriously Josh. Exactly, so shout out to Spicebox for the dal that I take for lunch. Spice today, deliver it. No, it's like a packet dahls from the shop. Ready meal dahls? So you buy it and then you just take it for lunch? So you're taking your own ready meal?

I'm taking my own ready meal. Right, okay. Oh yeah, no, I thought you were prepping for it. That was our prep boxing, but it's not, it's just a ready meal dahl. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not taking my ingredients. Is dahl healthy? Yeah, dahl's really healthy. Surely you can't get a dahl in Elstree? Do you want me to just order a dial from an Indian

takeaway? Snobby bastard. No, because no. You can have your own special dial. No, what I mean is... TV wanker dial. No. Hello, sorry, am I wanker off the telly? Can I have my own special dial from the Spice Box? What I mean is you can't just buy a dial from the takeaway. Why not? Because it's, you suddenly you're like, well I'll get some poppadoms and then I suppose, I'll get a sagaloo while I'm here. I need a naan bread. Right. Okay. Then no one has ever just gone in and had a dal.

Like, can I get one egg fried rice from the Chinese, please? Anything else? No. Yeah. You can't just have a dal. Okay. Fair enough. So you've got your special spice box. That was your shout out. Look at the small businesses thriving under you, Josh. I love the small businesses thriving. I love to see small business shout outs.

I tell you what, should we do a couple of correspondence and then do small business? Hello, Josh, Rob and Michael. Hello from Robe, R-O-B-E in South Australia. Oh, right. Is that a name or a place? I don't know, actually. No, it is a place, Robe, in South Australia. 21 years ago, my husband and I were pregnant with our first of our four children. Our son would be the first grandchild for my parents,

but the second for my husbands. To save future confusion, we asked my parents to choose titles other than Nana and Pop, as these were already taken. Okay, which is, I think that's a bit harsh on them though, to go, they're ruled out. But Nana and Pop are a bit left field anyway, aren't they? If they said you can't be Nana and Grandad, I think that's but anyway, they can't be Nana and Pop as these were already taken, expecting a normal granny and

grandpa, etc. Unfortunately, my father's choice has not aged well. For over 20 years, he has been known by all his grandchildren as Pop Diddy. I can assure everyone that the name is the only similarity between the two, though jokes about hiding the baby oil and now commonplace at family gatherings. Pop Diddy. That's not ideal is it? Not ideal. Yeah and so he was called Pop Diddy and the Nan was called Harvey Weinstein. Strange choice for the Nan there. Now thank you guys for my absolute favorite podcast. I'll be driving four hours to see you in Adelaide Rob in October.

Yes, go on. Lou, this is Lou from Robe in South Australia. I'll see you in Adelaide. Love your work fellas. Shall we end with something nice? A positive hitchhiking story, Rob. Yeah. I have a, my mom and dad separated when I was a child in the nineties. Oh, come on. Stop banging on about it. Sorry. Oh my God. Um,

do you remember what I said? What's happened there to avoid? I coughed. Um, but do you remember clearly not, um, do you remember what I said as the joke name for the, um, the grand? They show you what happened there. Just, well I think your cough was so loud and out of like the zoom cut it out. Oh, did it? Cause you went, oh then came out I was like what the fuck happened there but I think your cough was loud zoom cut it out like a background noise. That's alright don't apologize.

It's just your body. I lived with my mum well I know with my mum and my dad lived in Somerset so my dad would hitchhike to see me every school holiday and take me back to Somerset with him. Oh my god this little freewheeling traveller guy. I have a lot of memories of the lovely people who would pick us up once a man pretended that his windscreen wipers were magic and worked on their own. This was a great trick for a young kid.

When it was raining, my dad would wear a big green raincoat and I'd climb inside and peep my head out of the buttonholes. Oh, I didn't appreciate the effort my dad put into seeing me when I was a child, but now I'm so grateful that he didn't let distance finances or a lack of transport stop him. I'm also grateful for all the people who stopped for us so he could spend some time with me too. That is a lovely email. That's a very positive hitchhiking story. Right, I'll see you next week on Friday Josh. Okay, I'll see you on Friday Rob.