Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S10 EP8: Adebayo Akinfenwa

Episode Date: March 21, 2025

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the ex-footballer and cult FIFA legend - Adebayo Akinfenwa. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: @parentinghell  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Ha ha ha. This going how you hoped? Happy Face, new series now streaming exclusively on Paramount+. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Whitacombe. Happy Face, new series now streaming exclusively on Paramount Plus. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss

what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we chat into a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course tales of parenting woe.

Because let's be honest there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Right Max, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Whiddicombe? Josh Whiddicombe. Goodbye. So Geordie, can you say...

Er, they live in West Yorkshire. Oh. This is my 32 month old, or two and a half year old, Max saying your names. They live in West Yorkshire. Oh. This is my 32 month old or two and a half year old. Max saying your names. He's our middle child. We also have Oliver six and a newbie Sebastian four months. So we are really in the thick of it with baby boy number three.

We live in Oxenhope, West Yorkshire just over the hill from Bronte country, Haworth. Bronte country? Is that where Bronte sit? Yeah, is it Charlotte or Emily or whichever? I've got no idea about that. That's a gap in my knowledge. Yeah, and me. I've listened since the beginning

and I'm a smug converter with my husband who now takes pride in asking me if I'm up to date with the podcast. We're huge fans. We came to the arena tour in Manchester. We saw Josh's last tour and have tickets to both your individual tours this year. Respect. Both Do you want to have a guest at the venue? Buxton.

No, Halifax, the Victoria Theatre. It's a lovely theatre. Can't wait. Keep going. Don't ever stop the pod or you'll leave a gaping hole in our weekly marital conversations. I had a tough time at Halifax last time I did Halifax. Did you? Not just me, the crowd of the gig. It was when COVID come back. And because certain council venues, you had to show, it was a point where no one gave a fuck about COVID anymore. But some venues were like, you need to show us that you've had your COVID vaccinations. And obviously, if you're out on the piss in Halifax going to a comedy show, you've not

got that to hand. So it was raining and there was a queueing outside around the block for about 45 minutes to get in. We had to start late. Everyone arrived drenched and livid and I was fighting for my life in that gig. Oh Rob. Well, Laura Hamilton. Is Laura Hamilton the name? Doesn't she present A Place in the Sun? Oh, I was about to say, isn't that the name of the woman from Terminator? Michael, can you okay both of those?

Linda Hamilton. Okay. Okay, fine. Laura Hamilton. Laura Hamilton is a television presenter. Oh, there you go. She's the blonde one who does A Place in the Sun. Oh, I thought it was Nikki Chapman. Oh, Nikki Chapman's escaped to the country, isn't she? What's the difference between A Place in the sun and escape to the country? Basically where you're moving. Um, yes, I think so. And let's be honest, neither of them are moving. They never move. They some move.

Some move. Not always. They never move. We've got a budget of six grand. Do we want a four bedroom house on the coast? Sorry. Yeah. And I thought the best way to find one would be to get the former judge from Popeye to

show me around Wiltshire. What the fuck do you know about countryside chappers? Maybe she knows loads. I bet she does. She's probably got loads of money. So I was going to tell you my story about people being locked out because of the weather. Okay, yes. So when I did my first show in Edinburgh, I was in a in a porter cabin in the Pleasance Courtyard. Yeah. The heart. Where did you do it? It doesn't matter. And for people that don't know up in Edinburgh, they take over random little venues of a university and put chairs in them and they're like 40 50 seaters. So they're not rooms that are ever users rooms. So yours is a porter cabin. Mine was a porter cabin. Mine was a tiny little lecture thing.

Was yours the basement or whatever it's called? I can't remember. I can't remember. Yeah. Just fucking great seat. Fucking shit. So hard. So hard. Fucking crap. Hated it.

One day it was pissing with rain. Yeah. So audience used to queue around the porter cabin. So I had to already be in the porter cabin because 95% of the portal cabin was the venue. So where did you hide? There was a black curtain over the corner of one portal cabin. So you had to go in before they opened the doors and hide behind the curtain and wait for them to fill up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially because when you're in this tiny portal cabin and you're there, if the music's that loud enough, you'll just literally hear coming up. Yeah, well, someone came over dead at day and said it was crap. Yeah, so one day is pissing with rain outside. And my cue is obviously they bring the music down on the lights down and then I know to do my offstage announcement. Yeah, because there's no communications with the second. Okay, that's your communications. That's your cue.

That's my cue. I'm just stood in the dark behind the curtain, awaiting this. And then it comes down very early. Not to brag, I've sold all 50 tickets here, Rob. But it feels like it's to... It feels like that surely there's five minutes until the show.

Until the show, 10 minutes even. But I do the announcement, I come on. When you say come on, you just take the curtain off you. I appear from behind the curtain. I appear through the curtain. I come on stage, I just take this curtain off me. Like I've just been spotted when I'm doing hide and seek and I'm coming out, like that kind of situation.

10 people quite confused. And I'm like, what's going on here? The queue had been letting early because it was pissing with rain so hard. And then the guy, the techie, had seen what the queue's finished. So he thought that was it. Will Barron Oh, because he thought everyone was in. Tyrone Jackson He thought everyone was in. Will Barron But no, because it's another 10 minutes. 10 minutes. So then I just had to stand on what was called the stage, but was just the floor of the Port-au-Cabin. I couldn't start the show. I couldn't go back

behind the curtain. That would be even weirder. Because when you pop out these little curtains, everyone goes, oh, God, I didn't know it was there. To go back in is insane. Insane. Oh, sorry, I've come out too early. And now I'm going to go and hide behind the portal cabin, behind the curtain while you guys continue to sit here and pretend. And you'll probably tell the people that have come in that I've already come out from behind the curtain. He's behind there at the moment. He's hidden again. We're talking about a room the size of a front room.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So what did you do? I couldn't start the show. No. So I was just like, well, I'll just have to kind of talk to the audience as they come in, like a kind of welcoming thing. That went surprisingly well. Yeah, because they're quite like that. It puts everyone at ease. It's quite informal. But yeah, one of the people that came in, I recognized as Nika Burns, the head of the fucking Edinburgh judging panel. Oh, that's not what you need. Which didn't help. No. And I'm not that I was in the running. But like, um, but you're still like, Oh,

that's someone who's like someone important. Everyone's in. I'm like, Oh, fuck, this is actually good in my head. I'm thinking this is going so well. I might do this every day. Yeah. Oh, is it really? Rather than the curtain? It's quite degrading it being in the curtain. And then I'm like, right, we're all in. So what I'm gonna do, bit of fun, I'll go off and just stand behind the curtain and I'll announce myself on and we start the show. Lovely. Go off, announce myself on. The moment I go into material, it sounds fucking unhinged. Oh, because you've been so open. Because I've just been in fact, like talking to them. I guys come in, you're a bit raider.

Yeah. Sorry. So he's let people in a bit soon. Blah, blah, blah. Oh, just go. Chip and Pin. Chip and Pin. And people are like, what the fuck is he doing now?

Well, I think that's what you've got a lot better, I think. I don't think better. He was always good, but I think your, your acts changed slightly because from doing the podcast, you're way more open now where where before you would just routine routine routine and less about you and less relaxed, even though you could do it and then I was a good MC but it was always a change into the tightly written material. Yes. Now the good news is if you want to come to the tour in Halifax, the materials no longer as tight. When I was doing that, the Edinburgh and I was again little full 40 seat or I didn't have 20 people in, someone fell asleep in the front row, which didn't mind whatever carry on and then

and then they woke up and then I was making noise and chatting and I went, Oh, what's going on? And he sat down and go at me. I was like, well, I thought this show my show was called Rob Beckett summer holiday. And the whole point of it was like, I'd had to put holiday off work to go for the money. And stuff like that. And it was about classes of about how life for me is a holiday. You're holding ice cream on the poster. Yeah. And I actually had a nice a microphone, like made into a nice I held an ice

cream. And that was my microphone. And the ice cream on top was like the foam and I spoke through that. So I'm holding this ice cream, bit of fun. It's called Robin, Summer Holiday. This guy at the end of the room, I thought, when are you gonna speak about Cliff Richard? I was like, what are you talking about? But you've not mentioned Cliff Richard once.

I was like, well, yeah, I'm not gonna mention you. And he went, yeah, but it's about the Summer Holiday. I went, yeah, but it's not about Cliff Richard. He went, yeah, Cliff Richard Summer Holiday. I went, yeah, I know Cliff Richard had a film called Summer Holiday, but it's quite clearly me on the poster. And all it says is comedian from the South East London talking about his life

and there's no Cliff Richard. Well, it's just false advertisement. No, it's not. And I'm having this conversation like this is in the show. That is incredible. And he went, I think you've been out of order. I went, well, if you don't like it, leave. I'm not bothered. They've got that. And then we had a bit of an argument. He's been a bit of a knob. He called me like a prick.

I told him, call him a prick. And he went out and then the crowd are on my side because he was being quite rude. And I run over and because it was in like a, um, like it was like a tiny little classroom with like this freight seat in it. I run over and the way to, it was just a door that went into and the door was our school door that you know, little locks that you twist to lock the door. And I run over there and I'm knocking that so don't come back in. Which got a laugh. I

did that because I was doing it like all muggy up because I'm on stage and like, oh, like that. I do it and I do it like that and I cut my finger on the metal fingers I close it and I come back and I'm just bleeding all over me ice cream. I'm holding my ice cream and it looks like strawberry sauce so it's all over it. And then they're like, oh, and then I'm trying to get the momentum back. I completely lost the cream. And it looks like strawberry sauce, so it's all over it. And then they're like, oh, and then I'm trying to get the momentum back. I completely lost the room. And then she's like, someone went, excuse me. I was like, what now? She was like, you're bleeding

on your, oh God. And then someone in the front row gave me a tissue, but because it's so small, it isn't like a big shower of fear. It's like doing it like in the school staffroom. It's so unnatural. It's so unnatural as a way it plays to perform. It's so much harder at the start than it is when you're in proper theaters. So if you are starting out in comedy, it actually gets easier the longer you go because you get more experience

and the rooms you play are easier to play. It's really unfair. The worst you are will be in the hardest rooms. Totally. Because some of those rooms now, even with 20 years, 15, 20 years experience, I'll still die in there because they're too hard. The rooms are too hard. I did warm up for the last tour. I know we've got, we'll bring the person on in one sec.

So he's gone on a bit of a tangent here. And I was in town doing like the comedy store for a charity show, you know, on a Monday. And a guy contacted me, he used to book over my gigs and he was like, if ever you're in town come to my gig. And I was like, you know what, I'm there. I'll just do it. It'll be helpful. I turned up and there was five people in a foyer and two of them were like Brazilian tourists

who were second language English. And I just absolutely fucking died for five minutes. And I was like, this is impossible. This is, this is absurd that I used to do comedy in this situation. And then go over and be upset that it didn't go well because you're shit in your head. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's it. Those open mic gigs, they used to send a lot of tour. I found out on TripAdvisor, they would say, go to the comedy open mic circuit if you're trying to improve

your English. Really? Because you could go and listen to people speak with all different dialects and different accents in an informal way. And it was free because these gigs were free to attend. You just had to put some money in a bucket. But yeah, inside, not very parenting, but we are comedians as well. Anyway, now we're in a position where we're not doing that, Rob.

Instead we're talking to each other on a technology that didn't exist at that time. Yes, exactly. And you know what, Josh, we've come from those little rooms to now doing a podcast together where when we first started comedy, podcast didn't exist. And now we are about to introduce an interview we did with Adebayo Akinfenwa. Lovely bloke. Fat-glowing bloke. We did the interview probably about six months ago,

but the quality of his sound was so bad in his gym as he spoke to us on his phone, which I would call unprepared, that it's taken a little bit of time to liven it up. Honestly, yeah. But it's a great interview, especially when he talks about his daughter dating. Oh, my god, yeah. I forgot about that. That bit's brilliant. Enjoy. Welcome to the podcast. Adobayo Akinfenwa. We're going to call you Bayo though. Is that

all right? Cool, cool, cool, cool. Thanks for coming on, mate. We've got a mutual friend from my school gates, Dean, your agent, his kids go to my school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He told me, man. He said, yeah, man, I run into Rob all the time when I drop in. I said, yeah, man, me and Rob's blessed. Yeah. Well, we know each other, don't we, Bayo? Yeah, man. We've known each other for a long time. You've got an issue, haven't you, Rob? Rob, you've got a bit of an issue with this.

Well, I've really got an issue. I think Bayo knows my issue about when we met in the past, we was at a FIFA launch event, weren't we? We went back and we was playing FIFA together with Marcus Rashford, Marc Antonio, a few YouTubers, O Ollie Merz, there's all there. We met Marcus Rashford and we had a photo with Marcus Rashford, me, you, and Marcus Rashford. And then whenever Marcus Rashford does anything amazing, you post a photo, but you cut me out. But I have to. I mean, you know, actually,

there was a lot of amazing things you did, but I just missed the timing for portioning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And because, like, you're on the outskirts, it was kind of easy to, you know what it is, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And because like you on the outskirts, it was kind of easy to, you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Don't worry about it. Let's drive good together with Bontera and Volkswagen. Buy any sustainably focused Bontera bathroom tissue,

paper towel or facial tissue, and you could win a 2025 Volkswagen all-electric ID buzz. See in store for details. Bonterra for a better planet. No purchase necessary, terms and conditions apply. See online for details. Right, so first of all, retired footballer, absolute legend in the world of FIFA as well as,

he was the strongest player on FIFA for years, wasn't that right? Physicality, 99. Explain to people that aren't into football how big you are, Bayer. As in big in size or big in name? I'd say big in both. Yeah, in size. You know what, like for anybody that don't know football, I think that the

thing which makes me stand out is because I'm not built like a footballer. And I know that. Like I'm 16 and a fast stones. I really, really enjoyed the gym. So when you look on a football pitch and footballers are generally between 10, 11, 12 stone so they can run up and down. I think running was overrated.

So I got as big as I could. I listened, as soon as you watch the game, I stand out. There's no two ways about it. So- Yeah, cause I'd say as an athlete, obviously you look like an athlete, but if you weren't into football, you think maybe like sort of weightlifter or world's strongest man or one of those guys in the middle of American football.

Yeah. American football or a boxer even. I get, I get the, so you play rugby or you know, when I say football, they're like, you mean what NFL? So I get that. That's my stature. Like, and I'm modest. you get what I'm saying? Well, you became a bit of a cult favourite on the FIFA computer game because of the way you looked at the game.

You were the strongest player in the game for years, which you absolutely run with. Give someone a little an inch, and you went for a mile with that. And then obviously an absolute legend at Wickham and scored the winning goal against Plymouth, Josh's beloved Plymouth in a playoff. We will come to that, do you remember that day?

Oh yeah I do, you said it a couple of times me, I was like listen, it's love still, I just had to do my job brother, do you know? And also who the fuck are Plymouth, you forgot you even scored that goal. It's Wimbledon at the time, it was unbelievable, we had far bigger club than Wimbledon, that was an upset. Yeah, so just to touch on what you lot, and because we are parents and we're the, there's a whole other generation, that whole FIFA community even was a shock to me how big it was. Yeah. It just took me into another stratosphere. So I wouldn't even lie. So for the older parents that listen and it's like, oh, I can remember it blew

me to another level. Yeah, because you're more well known. You've played at like, you know, sort of League One. Do you play championship? Yeah. Yeah, championship and League One. But I'd say you're more well known than a lot of Premier League players. Yeah, I mean, listen, that was the birth of social media. I think social media is a blessing and a curse. I think it does a lot of good.

I think it also does some bad. But for myself, I saw that there was a niche and by God did I pick it up and run with it so And that's amazing because you didn't run when you were a footballer Oh you see what you did there Josh, you see what you did, I have to pick and choose when you run So what's the business Brad, we'll get you've got four or five kids how many kids you got? Five Five kids we'll get onto the kids in a sec but what are you doing now now you've retired and

you played to quite a late age actually for some of your build. Everyone thought your knees were going to go but you played to what? 39, 40? 40. Yeah my knees did go, I tell you that now. My knees really did go but played to 40 and listen all the jokes aside I do stand by an ethos and a mantra of that if you do believe you can achieve it. And my mindset was they told me from a young age I was too big to play football. And 21 years later, I was still showing them that, look, you can do it. So for all that, I was able to carve out a career

which I'm proud of. But now I'm in the transitional stage of retired. May will be three years retired. And see, I said this when people was asking me when I came to retirement like what do I want to do and I said listen I played football for 21 years and now I want to try so many different things. Everything's in a possibility for you at the moment.

Yes. I'm enjoying a day on the radio doing a punditry. I want to see on SAS who dares wins. Oh snap yeah. I want to see you on that, you'd be amazing on that. Can I just ask one question, if they approached you to be a gladiator, would you do it? Um, I don't know. I think your personality is too big already, because it would be like...

No, no, I won't say that. I just... No, no, but if I saw it, I wouldn't... If you were like, you were called like Power, I'd be like, well, it's not, it's Hacking Fenway. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're like, you can't, you know, they have to be introduced as the name. I just, I think timing, timing plays a big part with stuff. You know what I'm saying?

You know, the funniest thing is I actually would prefer to present gladiators rather than be a gladiator, if I'm honest. That's the energy off of that sort of thing. I do think, like you said, oh, yeah, I can front those gladiators. You know, let's call them the beast. You know, them ones where you're like, oh. Yeah, you're like, oh, I'm that again, am I? Okay, cool, yeah, I can't for those glad you, you know, let's call him a beast. You know, that one's where you're like, Oh, I'm not again. I'm okay. Cool. Cool.

That how many kids you five kids? Sorry, you said that before. Can we have the ages of your kids? Okay, so my oldest daughter is 17. Then 15, 14, 12 and nine. Okay, right. So so at one point, you had five under eight. Yes. You know, what were you doing at that point you had five under eight. Yes. Fucking hell. And what were you doing at that point? I wonder you didn't want to retire. You're not actually telling people, people for us for the love of the game, it's because

they're flipping so expensive. I'm taking that now. But yeah, man, I remember the Mrs. of Sand, we had in 10 years, we had four kids. So I swear it was just, this was I think before we knew about PlayStation. But nah, all jokes aside, easily my five biggest achievements in this world. Like, even though I retired, realised I don't like him as much as what I thought I did. I swear to you, you know the thing is, which I think like, I think parents always feel like they have to say they really check for their kids. And there's moments where you're like, oh, man, I love them. You know what I'm saying? And in the same time, there's moments you're like, what the hell is this?

But how does five kids work? Let's logistically like when you were a footballer. I mean, obviously, as a footballer, you're not working really long hours. I suppose you're away most Saturdays and stuff. Also in the championship and league one, there's so many more games, isn't it? Yes. So I've got four that live with me and then one that doesn't live with me. I think myself, when I was a footballer, and it's funny because I was actually having this conversation with my missus, I think when you're a footballer, you are more focused

on yourself. So my missus did a lot of the stuff. So every other Friday, I'm in hotels. Saturday, I've got a game. Then when I come back and then Sunday is generally recovery. So that weekend is just about me, you know, and Monday to Friday, the kids are in school, so it's kind of about that. And then the missus kind of did the balance of that.

So when I was a father-in-law, it was very much, you're there, but you're just, it's like at the end of the meal, you kind of just eat as a collective. And of course, so when I joked about when I retired, you actually then spend time with, you know, the kids and just knowing their movements and be like, wait, are you really like this? And then the same, they'd be like, wait, dad, you really like that? So it was the whole transition where you do step back and think, right, you know what, you have to focus about yourself when you're trying to create something or do something and

everything else becomes like a byproduct of that. But it was good because I'm the biggest kid in the house. What was the biggest surprise then with the kids? Because obviously you got more involved in the logistics of knowing, okay, it's swimming that down, drop them off that, you know, all that. Where when you're playing, your partner's taking a lot of that on.

What was the biggest surprise to you with the kids when she retired? That they're not that intelligent. I swear it does. No, I'm joking, I'm joking. You know, the biggest surprise is, it's the weirdest thing is because it's the props that I kind of give my partner in the sense where your time becomes about the kids.

So I've got no excuse now. So even the school run. So I've got no excuse. There's no, oh, I've got to go to training. It's now I schedule things around the kids activity. Yeah, that's the priority. That's the priority now. So like literally I have to schedule, unless it works very much on a specific day,

I schedule work around my kids activities, which at the moment is good because I can do it. But it's a lot. No, it's a lot. My son's now into football. So Monday, my oldest one goes to football in the evening. Tuesday, my youngest one goes to football. Wednesday, read and do football together. Thursday, my oldest.

Friday, my youngest. Saturday, training. Sunday, games. So it's literally, I'm a football dad, all of a sudden trying to lead football, but now I'm playing it, I'm standing there watching it. And then they've got swimming and then they've got... So it's that thing where you're like, oh, raw.

A lot goes into these kids. Yeah. I had to find out what their doctor's name is, you know, stuff which you just take for granted. I wanted... So that's the biggest thing. Listen, I'm into the routine now. I think the good thing about what I was doing, I was a creature of habit and I had a routine.

I got up, did my breakfast, trained, went to the gym. So I was a routine so I can do that and get up, go on, go to the gym. You're just a new one? Yeah, so it's just a new routine that I get into. Have you got a massive car to get them all in, like a big people carrier thing? Massive car to get himself in?

Hey Josh, that's the second time. And Mark, how many times you doing this? Yeah, yeah, you just keep jumping in with side stuff. Cause it must just be a logistical nightmare the whole time with like, you know, they're all different schools I imagine, some in secondary, some at primary. Yeah, no, to be fair now,

we've only got one in primary. So the rest is 17, 14 and 12, second to secondary. So they move. Like my 17-year-old, she must be 18. She doesn't even... I'm no longer cool to her at all, you know what I'm saying? It's her and her mum, you know what I'm saying? And the youngest one, the 12-year-old, she's the diva.

Whoever gets with her, I feel sorry for him. I'll tell you that now. Is she got a bit of like your sort of attitude and a bit, you know, that confidence then? Bro, she's got a mix between me and her mum. So that's why I'm saying, oh Lord, whoever gets with her, I am praying. It's not even me there, but we worried about.

Yeah. So she, she is the certified diva. She's her mother's child, I'll tell you that. Well, I suppose if they bring home partners, obviously you're suggesting that she's more intimidating than your physique for the new boyfriend or girlfriend coming home. See, my thing is like this.

When I first meet them, they're gonna be put in line anyway. I won't even lie. For my girls, I do this gym every day just to be able to, when they bring a boyfriend home, let them know if you make my daughters cry, we are going to have a very, very important conversation. I'm telling you this now.

Have you got it practiced in your head, the speech? I think it's joke. Okay, let's do it then. I've come home, I'd say so. What's worse if it's Rob as well? Oh, Rob! No, I'm not turning up at 40 going out with your 18. Rob, this is a bit weird.

Oh, 18 year old, okay. I'm an 18 year old from her school. And I just say, oh, hello, Mr. Akinfenwa. My name's Stephen. Hi, how you doing, Stephen? Big fan, I like you on FIFA. No, I haven't said that, I've already paddicked. Okay, cool.

How you doing, Stephen? What are you doing here? I'm here to pick up your daughter. Excuse you? I'm here to pick up your daughter. We you? I'm here to pick up your daughter. We're going to the cinema. OK, I'm glad you said we, so let's all go. Oh, OK.

Oh. Well, I asked her. Steven, let me stop you there. Let me stop you there. Let me stop you there. Yes. I don't think he'd started, to be fair. He wasn't really speaking.

Steven, let me stop you there. Let me stop you there. I know you've got an intention to have a conversation or meet or kind of get to know my daughter. I just want to let you know I come with my daughter. So where she goes, I go. And I see the way you be looking, I see your energy before you even speak. Right now, I don't think I like your energy.

No, it's not I don't think, I don't like your energy. Stephen, Stephen, Stephen. Hi Sir mate. Yes, Mr's not I don't think I don't like your energy. Okay, Stephen, Stephen, Stephen. Say something. Yes, Mr. Fennwell. Don't mainly say that three times when I asked you first time. Sorry.

Stephen, you know what, it's best you just go. Okay, bye. There you are. Yeah, okay. All right. Okay, let's try another one. Okay, that was the nerd guy. This is a new one. Knock, knock. You answer the door. All right. Hello? Yeah, where's that ting? Where's my bat? That's my response. Where is my bat? Baby, where's my bat? Your eyes are amazing.

Last question. Are your sons that are footballers, are they built like you? No. My oldest son, if he wanted to be a footballer, oh, the world would, the world, he's bigger than me. My oldest son's 15 and he's six foot one, size 13 shoes. Oh, he is a monster, but he wants to go into basketball. So, yeah, he doesn't want to play football. And my youngest two, my 14 year old,

he has got all the chat in the world, but no muscles. Like, all my days. If he was here now, he would tell you he's stronger than me. He's not. He's not even stronger than these young, but no, he's got all the chat in the world, but he is me. He is so me in the sense of his personality. But yeah, they're not Bill like me at all. So they bought that. To be fair, I had a conversation with him and he said, oh dad, you know what? I was training in my goals. And of course, when we was training,

people were gathering around, you know, where I saw you was at Elmizend. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you was down, did you live that way then? I'm literally 10 minutes from there. Oh wicked, oh yeah. 10 minutes from Elmizend. So...

I'm playing this afternoon with a lot of comedians if you want to come down. You got in there, yeah? To be fair, I would have come down because I played on Saturday and never again. I think my body's hurting, man. Well, I was only messing around because they would have shit themselves if you turned up. It would be so good if you turned up. Mark still's 58 and he's only just recovered from cancer,

so it's not a high-level impact game. That's a bit more arse and walk. To be fair, you did that for most of your career. To be fair, that's Laza Bappa level right now. So he said, you know what, Dad, it's kind of, it's hard because of course they'll hear Akin Fomwa and automatically have a perception of Dad. It's always the strength thing with him.

You know what I'm saying? So it's like, oh, and he's totally the opposite. He's not Bill, he's not... Is this your younger one, not the 15 year old? No no it's the 14 year old my younger one he's oblivious Oh no so the 15 year old's tall? Oh yeah not the 15 year old so the 14 year old Yeah

We had that conversation I'm like you've got to forge you Yeah You can't be me you know what I'm saying go forge your own you know what I'm saying I get that it's going to come just by me or who you're affiliated with It's hard though if his older brother's that big as well, not bigger than you already, because then he's got his older brother and his dad, and then the other Aiken Fednor where it's like

a different personality coming through, but you've got to make your own mark, haven't you? Just like you did though, that's what got the best out of you, because he's basically feeling like, I'm not the right shape, because I don't fit in with the family, where you were told your whole life,

you weren't the right shape, you don't fit in with football. But that was the thing that made you so unique and special. A hundred percent. And you know, the thing is, I think, you know, when you said what surprised me was the fact that I lived by a mindset mentality. So when I'm talking to my kids now, just daily, more they see it. So I remember talking to him and I remember him. So I used to do the bike before I went in training. So before I went to training, before he went to school, he would see me on the bike and he would say, dad, get back in training. And I'd be like, yeah, yeah. But I've got to do this to try and be the best version.

So I thought because of my need, I'm going to retire. I've got to work harder before I train. So he started to see that. So when I just talked to him, I thought because he used to see it, it would automatically he would understand that it's what the effort you put in. I then realised that, okay, there's one thing seeing it, but then you have to reinforce it by talking constantly to him. So and that's what I found recently, like, we've got very much closer, just like, as we're always together now, training, taking and training them back. And that's the thing which surprised me, because I was like, but you see me, he's like, yeah, dad, I want to play football. And I'm like, but football don't start on training day, you know, or game day, football starts every day. So you've got cramp, say you'll have a game on Sunday, not do well, be upset. And then his next training will be Tuesday, but then won't do nothing on the Monday. So I'm like, training don't start on the game day.

Yeah. And the thing is, I'm like, but you see me, like even now he sees me, I train daily just cause I'm into a routine and I'm like, nobody's forcing me to train now. You know, I do that for me. So that's what I realized in regards to, there is one aspect of seeing, people would be like, okay, train how you play or they're watching. But I think also with watching,

you have to reinforce it by having these conversations with them. And that's what I'm finding now with my kids in regards to, sometimes I just think like, oh, they're gonna get that mentality that I had. Whereas it's not, it's different. Of course, they've got more than what I had when I was younger.

And I guess the balance I'm trying to do is given the stuff that I didn't have, but not take away the stuff that I learned by not having the stuff, you know, it's that bad. Yeah. Difficult balance that, isn't it? Yeah. With anything though, it's like,

if you can't fake enthusiasm or you can't fake passion, so that I've wanted, you didn't really train because you should or you have to, it's like, you can't fake enthusiasm or you can't fake passion so that I've wanted you didn't really train because you should or you have to because you wanted to. Yes. You know like for me like I when I do stand-up I've got a tour but I'll make sure that I go out and do like loads of warm-up gigs because I love putting it together where there are some comments that I know that go out sometimes and they're a bit like oh god I don't really want to have to do this. Yeah. And I'm not doing it because I have to, because I'm doing it because I enjoy it.

And so it's like, helping your kid find their passion. But you know, there's two ways that I'm trying to approach, especially this football field, right? So I was very much, when I played football and you'll see the teams I played for, I was very adamant that I was going to raise my kids in London. So I was the traveler and I always came back home. Right. It's Northampton the furthest? Swansea? Swansea is the furthest

you went? Torquay was probably the furthest I think. Torquay, the English Riviera. It was nice to be fair, but I'm a London boy so I used to come back. I used to live on the hallway. I used to live on the mole way. But so I was very much, I I'm gonna go play football and then I'll come home. That was my home. So I didn't even immerse them into the whole football. And then I remember as I started to get towards the latter stages, of course, they started to get a bit older.

And also the missus like, look man, you've been playing this game, let's come to your games. So they started to, so I was very much, if they wanna be football popular, they will. That's their decision. I'm not going to force it upon them. But I do think that it comes with a,

it comes to where you're a catch 20 student because now they want to be, I think if I'd started them earlier, they would have seen it earlier. If you know what I'm saying, that's the process. So I think as a dad, I'm like, they don't know what they want. So until they know what they want, let me put them on the path that I think is best for them. Yeah. And then they can decide. Then they can decide. Whereas that's the

thing where it's a balance. I'm like, should I make them train even harder? Knowing that it doesn't look like it comes naturally to them. Or do I just, look, you do what you want to do. So it's such a balancing act at the moment. Especially when you know, if he's not, you're an expert in that, and if he's not finishing properly, or if he's not dropping into space properly, if he keeps getting caught offside,

and you know that you can go, if you just train that every single day. But you know the thing is, this is what I try and say to them, it's not even the ability side of it. Like, I always think, like you with stand up, right? It's not the ability side of it. Don't get twisted, there's just some natural gifted at what they do, right?

Yeah. But they've used comments from the beginning to whenever five years in, and you're like, you know what, they've mastered their plot. And that just comes with a repetition, but it comes with why and want, right? And that's the thing with my kids. I look at him and I'm like, listen, the ability side of it, we can work on that.

I could work with you getting a better touch. I could work with you having an understanding of the game. But the biggest thing that I get, and I don't know if parents will understand, both my kids used to play FIFA with me all the time, right? And I used to hook them every single time, and it used to be my joy. I could pick any team I wanted, they would be the best team and I would hook them, right? Both of them now, it doesn't matter what team I pick, it give me a beating. And I stayed to them, right?

I don't have to tell them to go pick up a controller to go get better at FIFA. They wanted to and they got better. And I'm like, it's the same with football. If you can go get better if you want to. So I keep saying to them, you didn't like the feeling of me laughing when I scored a goal. So both of them, I see it, I've got videos of them where I'm recording and I'm laughing at it. And now when they play, that feeling they had of, oh no, you watch, I'm going to get you dad. We're competitive as a family. We are competitive. So I say that to them, I'm like,

that want of you getting better at FIFA, you enjoy it, you want. I can remember when you played, and now. But that's the same with football. I shouldn't have to owe you to go pick up a football. Like, you can go and just naturally pick it up, and you will get that. Hey, are you in the mood for something new? Why not fly with Air Transat to an eclectic music scene?

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Choose how you move in the all-in-one Escape. And right now, get a $3,000 rebate on the Escape Plug-in Hybrid and all 2025 Escape models. For details, visit your Toronto area Ford store or ford.ca. Do you think by the point you're if you're having to push, I often think like all the comedians of our generation, if you list them that have kind of made it the highest, all of us are from kind of not very privileged backgrounds, we're all from backgrounds where

we've had kind of like really, really poor backgrounds, but like, there's no one that went to like public school or anything if you go Ramesh, Rob. Apart from Jack Whitehall, maybe. Oh yeah, I'd consider him slightly a generation above us, but if you went like Romesh, you, me, Catherine Ryan, Joe, like a cast, a cast of Sarah Pascoe, they're all from things because they we've all totally pushed and we haven't had anything to fall back on and stuff. But do you think we've all probably just done that naturally? I don't think any of you just naturally do it because you want to do it.

And do you think by the point you're being told to do it, so much game over because you obviously don't want it if you know what I mean? 100% I do think there's different drives, right? I do think you're a product of your environment. I do. Yeah, I need your products of your experiences. What I would say in regards to that is that I believe that I can not make my son get to somewhere, but the knowledge I've got, I could get into a place of a level. It's then on him to go further because that's just like saying any kid professional couldn't get there, but there's father and sons who's made it,'s, you know, has been privileged. You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? But I do think that plays an

active role. And I say this, all of us who I remember as a kid, I didn't have trainers, right? Back in the day, it was only the people that really had money that could wear night. I had high tech socks and I got battered for it. Yes, high tech, that's what we had. Literally, the whole year pointing at the high tech socks. Yes, the Assics. The fake England kit from the market.

Swansea market. My bad, you know what. Badge fell off. Fuck, she's not sewn it in. There was a drive for me when I was younger to be like, you know what, I want to be able to buy trainers. And I tell everybody, whatever your drive is, put it on the wall with this to have a nice car, nice house, be able to put it in. I remember mine was trainers. I was like, Yo, man, I wouldn't be able to buy a pair of Nike as in red. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah. So if my kids bust their trainers now, they'll get trainers by the next day because just by us, we don't want our kids to walk around with holes. But for me, that Bill character, I remember getting cussed

at once before I did punch in my path afterwards. I might have indicated violence, but again, that added to my character. Yeah, but if you have got high tech socks, you might need to know how to either hit someone with words or a fist. Yeah, I mean, I'm just saying. You went down the physicality, I went down the banter route. Yeah, it is, I can't say it. You used your words, I used my fist. It is what it is. But I think that now, and the biggest thing I knew this, and me and my missus was talking about this, my missus asked the kids what they want for Christmas. And they ummed, they was like,

hmm, if you asked us back in the day, at least we would have realed off before they even finished. What did you want? I want this, I want that, I want this, I want that, I want that, you know, so. I basically cut out the Argos catalog, I put everything that was in the Argos catalogue in my own new Argos catalogue. But we had lillards because we knew it was buying pay off later.

Get this, get that, get that. So that's the thing in regards to now when they're older, they're like, well, what do I have to kind of drive for, because maybe it's not entitlement, it's just what they're used to in regards to saying, oh, look, you know what, if I need trainers, my parents, and I wouldn't say my kids are spoiled, they're far from spoiled, you know, we say no, but they are used to what they're kind of used to. So I do think it's balanced because-

You don't want to go too far the other way and then go, you've got fucking trainers. They're looking at you going, yeah, but I need to put it on my feet. But you know, I said that, I went, I was like, I remember saying this, I think we got, I had to do something where they flew the family out, but I had to do football for them.

And I remember saying it to the kids, I was like... I was out there doing that at different hotels, they have professional footballers that run camps, but then part of the deal is you get holidays. Yes, that's where it was. You do a couple of hours training in the morning, yeah? Yeah, it was early in the morning. Don't just say a couple of hours.

It was hard work. Stop that. I've seen Rio Ferne and Joe Carver quick photo and then fuck off to the beach. Yeah, it wasn't like that, man. He's grafting. It was a lot of grafting. I had to laugh and joke with kids. That wasn't even mine. No, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I was like, what are you talking about? Like, it ain't, it comes with the grind that I had to put in.

So it's not a spoil for them, it's just what they kind of know. But in a way, cause you think, oh, I don't want them to grow up and not realize the value of things and them to be spoiled and stuff like that. But also I do think that like, you know, the drive that, you know,

and I'll give Josh a bit of shit, but Josh came from a similar background to me as well, not loads of money and that drive for financial security. I had a drive at a very, very young age that is a little bit unhealthy because a child shouldn't be thinking, as soon as I can get to work and get some money, then I can help out the family. That, I think, is an unhealthy balance, where it's too far the other way. I didn't feel like that gave me a great sense and understanding of money and the work. It gave me a real fear and panic about money that then infiltrated my adulthood,

where I couldn't relax because the whole time was a hunt for financial security. And even when I got it, I would tell myself, it's all gonna go, it's all gonna go. So that balance of them understanding the worth of things, but then you can't keep going, but I had to do this, I had to do that. Also, it's incredibly difficult to fabricate that if it doesn't exist. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. There's a difference between going, I didn't have those trainers, but you didn't think

my mum is able to afford them, but she isn't allowing me to have them. You thought my mum can't afford them. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So there's a difference between going to your kid, I didn't have any money when I grew up. So even though I've got money, you're not allowed X, Y and Z. Do you know what I mean? Then it feels unfair. Because your mum would have bought you those trainers straight away. Yeah, if she'd had the money. Do you know what my thing is,

is the one I say the most, at the moment, I do see the balance being right. Because I remember last year, my son asked me for a night tech tracksuit, right? And at this time, I didn't know what a night tech tracksuit cost, right? So I Googled it. So it was saying, I think it's about £160, £180 for a tracksuit. So I said to him, Big Man, you want one tracksuit for £180? I was like, but you can get five if you go to... An ASOS or something. Those are different tracksuits. I didn't know. I didn't want to promote ASOS or something. There's loads of different tracksuits.

I didn't know. I didn't want to promote ASOS or... You can promote where you want, mate. No, no, they're not paying us. Promote your own clothing brand. Jackamo. Yeah, I should have told him. Over too much of a dig, Jackamo. Yeah, I should have said, let's buy a beast mode.

Why have you done a Jackamo advert yet? Surely you're now done. I did that twice. Oh, fair enough. I've been through it, then. They gave it to me early doors. Oh fair enough. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha went without. So growing up, we knew we didn't have the Nike, but we never went without. That was the biggest thing that we took away was, of course, we couldn't say to mum, go get us a Mega Drive, and she'd get us a Mega Drive straight away. You know what I'm saying? It was very much... And the funny thing is, and I said this, and I still live by it, even though slightly different, mum did say, whatever you want for Christmas, let us know in January.

That was what it was in regards. So she knew. Plan and save. Oh, she knew exactly. We were to say we had a humble upbringing. I would never say we were poor or stuff like that. But it was you had to every penny counted. Everyone worked really hard.

And we had to know what we were saving for and stuff. Exactly. We had holidays and stuff like that. And I think that's what I've done to my kids, even though the kids know that we can go on holiday a couple of times a year, they know that, but they do know that, hold on, I'm a Nando's guy. I don't, you know, I'm very much a boohoo wearer. I'm not a designer guy. I've never kind of been a designer guy. So that's a better way because I show the kids, I'm like, look,

it don't make sense for me to rock a hundred pound track seat when we can get a 25 pound track seat, the track seat is the track seat, you kids, I'm like, look, it don't make sense for me to rock 100 pound track seat when we can get a 25 pound track seat, the tracksuit is the tracksuit, you know, I'm saying it doesn't change. So that's the thing. But of course, your products, your environment, they go to school, the kids are going to know, you know, so it's that. Yeah, that's the balance that I'm trying to implement. But you know, it sounds like you're doing a great job. Cause it's not man. Don't get it getting twisted. They're

idiot. Going back to your daughters when you were talking about potential boyfriends coming around, obviously it was messing around and stuff like that. You love your daughters and you want them to have happy relationships as they grow up and it's hard when they become women and fly the nest and things like that. How do you think you will be intimidating to people coming around? Have they brought any partners around you or had boyfriends or girlfriend? No. Nothing like that. There's a few things for me.

So I'm a zero tolerance kind of dad. I won't even like, I'm very laughy jokey. I think the things where I really go zero to a hundred. Yeah. Especially in my daughters. Like I love my boys, but again, they're going to have to find their own way. It is what it is. Do you know what I'm saying?

I want to be in front. They've got to find their own way. But my daughters, is. Do you know what I'm saying? I want the Libra front, they've got to find their own way. But my daughters, I'm very much a protective, like my daughter's failing 18 next year and her and the girls are going to Ionapa. My missus is going with them. Like it was either me or my missus and they already picked my missus. I'm very much that. What's your wife going to do on that holiday? Is she going to a separate hotel or same hotel or down the road?

No, I've just done, I've told them that they have to get an Airbnb, I'll pay for it. She's got me with her sister. So my missus brings her sister with her. And I'm very much, no, listen, they better do, because I'll be going. I'll fully be walking with them. Okay, so what age, I get that it's their first trip abroad, but then what age do you take the foot off the gas and let her... 21.

21, okay. 21 she can do as, not as she please, but 21 I'm like, okay, look, fair enough, you know what I'm saying? Because it does feel a bit of a jump between like sixth form or college to like go into like a Greek island for two weeks in a hotel getting drunk. It's quite a chump. No, no, no drunk, she ain't drinking. Stop that. You know what I'm saying? Even at 18?

What? Hey, Bob. Bob. She's only going to do it behind your back. No, no. Do you know, it's funny because I've got two brothers, right? Older, younger one, we're always together. So I'm the only one with two girls. My younger brother's got two boys. My older brother's got three boys, right? So I'm the only one with girls. So they're the ones that are cool uncles. Yeah. So they're like, nah, man, let her talk to us. They'll go to the uncle. I'm this one. Oh, not me. Like she wants to go to university in Manchester. She wants to go at 18.

That's where I went. Yeah. That is a massive piss up. It's gonna be... Thank you, Josh. Thank you. She was a guy in any way. So thank you massive piss up. It's going to be... Oh, thank you, Josh. Thank you. She was a guy in any way, so thank you for saying that. Does she go into uni then? She's in college now.

So, listen, just left now. She's in college now, so she wants to go to Manchester. Listen, I... That's a great place to go, Manchester. Great uni. She'll have a great time. Look, you know the thing is, mate, and I've got everybody saying the positives, and they're asking me what's the negatives.

You know, why don't you want her to go? So you do not want her to go then? She's not going, there's not... I know, but she's got... She don't want, she's not... Yeah, but then what's the other plan? She just stays in your house for three years. Look, if I go and show you at the bedroom I built for her,

like, I built her a bedroom so she don't go nowhere. I think you're swimming against the tide here, mate. I don't care. You're gonna have to relent at some point. I don't care. No, listen you're swimming against the tide here mate. I don't care. You're going to have to relent at some point. I don't care. No, listen, at 21 I will release the reins and she can manoeuvre in life how she wants. She'll have to go as a mature student. Yes.

Thank you. Would you prefer her then to be at uni in London and stay at home then? Is that what you'll be your ideal scenario? My ideal scenario is that she goes to university, stays at home. And listen, I'm not, and I do, she goes out. When I say she's a good daughter, she's got my drive. Pretty much as in, no, she wants to work for her. You know what I'm saying?

This is not like she's going to work for me. What does she want to do? She wants to be an actress, to be fair. So she studied performing arts. That's what she studied. So she's got my driving. The funny thing is I remember saying that when she was born was when I broke my leg. So it was at the time when we was at our brokest.

So I didn't have a football team and I spent I think the first 10 months with her. You know what I'm saying? So it was a good time, but a bad time if you know what I mean. So growing up and because at first I thought I wanted a boy, I'm so glad I got a girl. Boys are such airheads. I'll tell you that now. So because of that we did so much together, boxing, she was very athletic, you know, it was very that. So she's got my drive in regards to if she wants to do it, I remember we went to the gym, she couldn't do a pull-up. We didn't leave until she got halfway. She's very much that. So she's a good kid. I won't even front. She's probably seen as well more of your struggle than the younger kids because it's hard to go,

I work so hard and I wander into the back room and talk to Josh for an hour and then finish work. And I go, fuck off, you do nothing. Sometimes two hours work, come on. They didn't see the long drives down to the exit for no money. Sorry, so she's got that buyer in the belly. She's got that so once she wants to go out, she goes out. It's not like, but I'm very protective of her. I'm very protective. So all the opportunities I can give her I do give her but I still gotta be you can't be getting money.

It's a slow, slow release in the 10th. Exactly. Yeah. Get in touch in a few months when she's going to Manchester. I'll tell you which the good student bars are so she could go out and text me and I'll just pass them all on to you and you can just pass them on and be a cool dad.

Let me tell you something. You're gonna get a phone call from my daughter, her name's Kamira, and she's gonna say, thank you, Josh, you made sure I wasn't going Manchester. That's what she's gonna say. What I would say though, Bayo, is if you just go to Manchester Uni, she's only gonna be hanging out

with those little nerds like Josh, so I'm sure she'll be fine. Yeah. She'll own her own. Oh, actually, that's a positive. I'm all like. No, no. She can play.

I think you want her out of London. I think Manchester might have been a place for a load of actors and actresses. Or before you know it, you should do three more years in London and bring a road man back. You'll be shitting yourself. Please, I can do it with road men. You nerd men are different. You nerd men are different. One question I want to ask a footballer is, Christmas, but now obviously you're retired, but is shit being a footballer for your family, right? At Christmas?

And because us long-term footballers, it's not like we have the money to be able to say, yeah, man, the sacrifice is worth it. And it is. Don't get twisted. Of course, we're playing. Yeah, of course. But Christmas is the shit. It's time to be a footballer. And the people never really understand. You are constantly time watching. So take me through your Christmas. So Christmas normally would be, we would get up to be ready, Mrs. Lassie, but we'd get up as early as possible.

I don't really sleep. Would you get Christmas Eve off or would you train normally? Train Christmas Eve definitely and then may train Christmas day. But to be fair, as the kids started getting a bit older, training on Christmas Day wasn't too bad actually because you've got out of the house for a bit. Yeah, just a couple of hours.

Couple of hours and then came back. So that wasn't too bad. But definitely train Christmas Eve. So Christmas Eve was definitely training. Occasionally, depends on the manager would be, all right, look, we're training Christmas Day. But Christmas Day would be, we'd get up, have breakfast at home, then we'd fit in. The first one would go to my missus' mums, so you're there. So you're constantly time watching. Go there, sit down for a couple of hours, then go to my mum's, sit down for a couple of hours, and then having to get home because you've got a game, boxing day.

So you have to get up if it's home, if it's away. We've been in hotels on Christmas day. Oh, my God. You're literally, I kid you not, but when you wake up, you're time watching. So you're just always constantly like, all right, two hours here, I've got to get home. And are you having to watch what you eat and stuff and what you drink and... You have to because in regards to, all right, look, I've got to be in bed by nine. So well, I was never nine, I won't lie to you.

I'm going to try and go on like see I was professional. I wasn't like that. You do. You're constantly because you know, you got a performance on the next day. So you got to perform for you anyway. And the connotations anyway is if you have a shit game is, oh, look at that, wrecked too much the day before. Especially for you and your build as well. Well, let me go on here though. I do think one of the best things I saw was a meme. So it had Kante and myself. So it had Kante on the 24th and it had Kofi on the 25th.

You know when you see stuff where you're just like, that's fucking hilarious. And that's what it was the next day. Fuck, you know, but you ate a lot then, I couldn't remember what, didn't you? You know what I'm saying? So when you played, did you ever get to a point where obviously it was heavier than your average footballer, but for your ideal weight playing,

did you ever put a bit too much weight on and were too heavy and had to bring it back down? Oh, hell yeah, man. My weight fluctuated. It depends. So if I wasn't playing constantly, I would eat and not train as hard, because I wouldn't play as much. Say if I got injured, but yeah, my weight fluctuated.

And then also, I remember one of my best seasons was, I think I was at my biggest. And I think in my mind, it was, I'm at my biggest now, I then don't have to run because I heart run. So I just used to stay in the box. Yeah. That's where it would just for myself, it was like as I got older, I was like, well, for me scoring goals is the most important. So the office is the box. So go stay in your office. And that's what it was.

So my weight fluctuated. I went through videos and I was like, wow, man, my house big did. And then other times I was like, well, they were pulling me big. I wasn't even that big. So it just fluctuated throughout the season. But at the end of the day, it's shit, man.

And what do I want? Did you used to give defenders shit? Like, did you chat to them to get in their head? All the time. Because I find, now don't take, you've got like, with footballers, like you've got loads about you, great personality, very intelligent, switched on person. But some footballers,

because they stay in their lane of just football world, can sometimes be a bit basic with their banter. But like, very intelligent, switched on person. But some footballers because they stay in their lane of just football world can sometimes be a bit basic with a banter. But like could you because I thought there's ways of market there's a possibility in football where you can get in their head a bit more subtly because the classic one is all you've got smelly breath, which that doesn't work. Does it if you say to look at that, it's so petty. But so what did you do to try and get in their head? Would you be like, oh, shit touch there, mate,

you're right. You know, the one that used to get them proper was when I'd be like, they'd beat me. So the first header that would come, they would beat me. And then the first one I'd say, yeah, okay, one, no, you. Let's go. Okay, yeah, okay, you're two up. All right, cool. And then I'd hit them in their back.

Straight away, this is all straight away. Like, I'm in their backs, I give a free kick away. I was like, okay, I'm here, they're like, went, cool. And then I hit them in their back. Straight away, this is all straight away, like. Yeah. I'm in their backs, I give a free kick away. I was like, okay, I'm here, they're like one one. All right, two one, three one. I bought you now, but don't let me catch you. So just shit like that. Constantly.

I couldn't deal with it. I love it, I love doing it again. I do it at father's side, it's horrible though, because you're doing it at a professional level. I'm just like some bloke's trying to get out of the house for an hour, I'm like, fucking hell, mate, what you doing? But if they have a shit shot, I go, you rushed it there. You over thought it. You over thought it.

You over thought it like that. You need to be more instinct player. Oh, I hate that. And then when they go for instinct, they go, oh, no, mate, you've got to think about it more. You can't rush it like that. You know, you can't go and think that. And then they go, man. You know what I think football's like, right? I think football's like the internet.

I don't think you can beat the internet. So if somebody comes for you for the internet, I think if you go against the grain, you've lost. So when somebody used to say that about me, they'd be like, flipping out, big man, you're big, or you ain't about good touch. I was like, say that, and I hear that. Then I'll do a good touch.

I'll be like, what'd you think about that? Nah? I'll be like, yeah, if you accept it, just go, yeah, my touch ain't great at the moment. I'd be like, nah, today I'm on one, innit? I'd be like, rah. And then I'd score, and even if I've had a bad game, I'm like, but even as big as I am, you can't even deal with me, so what does that say about you?

Anyway, let's go. And then you just roll off. I always learn that. This is what I say, my son is as good as me because you want them to chat back. So I'll be like, son man, what's wrong with you man? Your sister does a bit better than you. And you'll just be like, yeah. And then walk off and it gives me nothing back. I get even more irate. Like, oh, this brother just knows how to bounce me off. And I think that's what it is. I think it's exactly when the internet first started and somebody would say,

flipping hell, if Akin Thumb can make it, anybody can make it. And you'd be like, what the fuck? What is that like on the internet with social media? Cause it's huge now, like, did it affect you when you were younger, when Twitter first come? Yeah, I think it does. I think when something new first comes across,

you're straight away, you're like, oh, right, is this what somebody's's thinking because that's what it does in it Yeah, when you search for validation outside yourself, you're gonna pick up that insecurity regardless of what? Yeah, even if everybody says good game good game good game and then you see somebody says I'm not sure about hacking from one That's what's gonna stick in your head. Yeah, I'm? So I think I learned very quickly and I think what helped me anyway was I think the media used to say, ah, good touch for a big guy or so even if they give me a positive, they always used to put something with it. So you're then thinking, look, not being funny, you don't see me the way I see me. Oh, I'll just

go, I've got to be touched by a big guy. So I think that then helped me with social media. And I do think social media, what social media has done is it showed everybody's thought process. And I don't think you should see everybody's thought process. Yeah, because I think things sometimes like an out and about and go, if I said that out loud, that'd be horrific. But then that's why it's a fault. It just comes in your head and you're all god. But some people it comes in and they tweet it and it's out. Literally it's that. You know, we've seen Black Mirror

or whatever where you're walking around and you're reading everybody's thought process. But you shouldn't. And that's what social media is. Social media is if I was like, I don't like the way Wub's dressed. But I'm thinking it.

If I don't say it, it's a passing thought. You see it, you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, you would like, what the fuck? Yeah, you wouldn't cut to it, you'd go, your jump is shit. And that's what social media has allowed the world to be. People will say, I'll just say what I think. I'm one of these people who says what they think.

And you're like, I don't. As for being human, not saying what you think. That's the equivalent of that going like, you smell of shit, yeah, I don't wipe my ass. I'm just one of those people, I don't wipe my ass. Yeah. Well, maybe you should. A normal thing to do is bet your thoughts before you vocalise them.

Otherwise, society will collapse. So, us lot have this conversation and we know that. So, I think when you then go into social media and when you see people comment, you're then like, again, I will only lose if I now try to go and change your opinion. Either you're trying to drive me up, or that's what you think. So I'm like, I don't fucking know you. So if I don't know you and I wouldn't take advice from you, why would your criticism hit my soul? No one has ever won an argument on Twitter. Never. No one has ever gone. You know what? You've won me round.

Do you know what? Actually, it was just a good touch. No one has ever gone. Do you know what? You've won me round. Do you know what? Actually, it wasn't just a good touch, no matter your body size. That is such a beautiful quote that you clocked there. So now when somebody says that, like somebody's like, oh shit. Like I said, I remember, it stands out to me because I think I can't remember, but somebody said, oh fuck, you know, if Akin Fenwell can make it, anybody can make it. And I remember reading it thinking, you know what? I'm glad I fucking can inspire you like that, budda. Because if I can, anybody can. And you shut it out and you keep the whole thing pushing.

Because if I turn around and say, wait, what the fuck are you talking about? My back, you're like... I've done all this. I've done that. That's your ego reacting. But I think navigating social media is difficult because I do think that's a learned, we have to learn that as individuals from experiences. I personally believe that you cannot process it in a positive way and it's best to completely avoid it. And it feels like you're being weak and ignoring it.

But like Eckhart Toole, who's like the master of Zen and mindfulness and being in the moment and not worrying about tomorrow or thinking about the past and just being totally zen and chill. Even he says if he reads YouTube comments, he'll focus on the negative one and ignore all the positive. He went and the only way he can process it is just by not looking.

Life is difficult enough without going, also, I think I should expose myself to people who think I'm a cunt. Yeah, it's a waste of time. But you know, my my pivot pivot to that though, right? Because I still think that social media is a blessing and a curse. So what social media, in my opinion, has allowed individuals to do is become their own boss. Oh, totally, totally.

It's taking it out of that formative way of it only being one way to be able to fake it. And the media not deciding who you are, you just show the world and the world knows. But it's like anything, look, you make a choice to go out into the world and tackle it and you may come across people that are rude on the bus, are rude in shops, but you make the choice to be like,

look, I have to go out and work or I have to go and find my way in the Lord, you know? So with social media, I actually think it's the same thing. I'm like, yo, you're going to get big heads in real life and you're going to get dick heads in social media. What you've got to try and get to is that tunnel vision approach of I, my end goal or the big picture is the biggest picture. But I'm saying this now as in going through the process of

Yeah, of course. is the biggest picture. But I'm saying this now, as in going through the process of the stuff you've dealt through in life. And it's a learned process to go through. So that's why I'm like, well, know that there's gonna be dickheads in real life, there's gonna be dickheads on social media. The only thing with social media is probably more because they're keyboard-washed. And they can get to you directly.

And they can get to you direct. But also as well, that fire in your belly, that sort of, I going to prove you wrong energy, you used at the start of your career. And I use that as well when I'll fucking show them. And it's an effective fuel, but it is toxic. And it's our friend, Petra on a bonfire that at some point can overwhelm you. But if you can manage it and calm down, it's it's an effective tool, but it's not a long

term way to operate or you go a bit mad. The thing is with me, I think that my fuel has always been my fuel, right? And I think even you now, you articulate it now better than what you would have done 10 years ago. But we've always had that inner drive for us. And even that thing where all the trials and tribulations, which I think we all go through, I think everybody's got a story. It doesn't matter if you've made it for what you wanted to or didn't. We've all got a story to tell.

But at the beginning, what mine one was, you know, literally a too big to play for. That was it. And I remember, my whole thing was I remember, and I can articulate it now, but I was defiant enough to be like, hold on, but I just met you. So if I've just met you, how am I going to give you permanent status on my life? I've only met you temporarily. So you're my coach. How can you tell me, fuck it, you ain't going to fucking become a footballer. I was like, I had these dreams

because I was fucking eight. So of course I couldn't articulate it then, but then like that, that was whatever they said at that time. I was like, what? You're more measured than me because I remember that little fucker for 15, 20 years and I can still shut my eyes and see them going, well why are you going that far for a gig and you're not getting paid? And I don't think I'll show you you cunt. You know sometimes I've still got that in the locker if I need to. I look at it I've got a toxic fuel in me that I, you know in Fast and the Furious, the NOS bike? Yeah, the NOSBAR I've got that in my belly that I don't touch I had it pushed down for 15 or 10 years non-stop and then basically had to

celebrate now so now I just tap it if I need it if I need it now and again I'll put it down but you see and this is the thing with me right I went through the racial abuse right so I think my most definitive moment I'm not saying say in my life, I'm talking about in my professional life, right? I went to Lithuania at 18. Right? So like we said, grew up in Dorston, metropolitan. You want to let your daughter go Manchester, you went to Lithuania at 18. This is how much I want us to be a footballer. I'm just gonna

let you know on that. She really wants to be an actress though. Yeah, it doesn't matter man. She can be an actress here because I didn't have my own room when I was younger anyway let's just leave that. So I went to Lithuania and this is what I'm saying so I was a big black 18 year old brother never had racial abuse never been bullied none of that you know what I'm saying but know that I wanted to go and play football. So when I went to Lithuania knowing that they said listen they're going to pay me to play and boy my first game I had zigga zig, zigga, zigga, shoot the fucking N word, right? That was what the chant was on my first game. Anyway, we'll cut a long

story short in regards to manage to that defiantness in me, which the mantra I live by is, I don't do things to prove others wrong. I do things to prove myself right. And that's in the same version of proving somebody wrong. But if I put the energy in proving myself right, all the energy goes into me rather than that little fucker that says I couldn't do it. Do you know what I'm saying? So that was the mantra I lived by when I was 18, went through the process, managed to score goals.

We won the cup. So for myself, that self-validation that I was able to get at 18 at that point put me in a stead where it didn't matter anything professionally that came my way. Yeah. I could overcome that. So as a professional being defiant, it was like, man, fuck that. Like if I flip in, concentrate on me, I can come through it.

Then everything else then afterwards has been, okay, cool, prove yourself. Yeah, that's the hardest it'll ever be with that kind of abuse. When you're the least experienced and your ability's not at a level yet, you don't know what your game is, you've got no guarantee of a contract or club, it doesn't get harder than that. So that's that point where I was like, all right, cool. So then that fuel that, and of course it can get toxic, it can get self-exceptful.

You're like, nah man, fuck it. If I did it once, I can do it again. You keep doubling down. It can get to that point where it's overwhelming in your mind and you're thinking too much about it. But I think the fuel itself was, right man, I got through that. And I was young, I was by myself, I was isolated.

It was, I got through that. So now I'm by myself, I was isolated. It was, I've got through that. So now I'm a couple more years further on. I'm a couple of bit more experienced. I've got a little bit more people around me. Yeah. Fuck me, if I can get through that, I can get through them three years. Again, if I went through trials, shit, I got through that and that.

So shit, I can get through that. And then it's that point where I am to the person I am today. I think you've done a brilliant, amazing career. And I'm well excited to see what you end up doing on the telly because you're a natural. Such an interesting chap. You're going to see some shit. You're going to see some though.

I can't say that. But you're going to see some. It made me chuckle when you said it earlier. Oh, really? OK. Good luck to your daughter in Manchester. And good luck on Gladiators. Hey, hey. What should I see you at?

The final question, Bae, we ask all our guests, what's the one thing your partner does with the kids where you go, oh my God, she's amazing, I'm so lucky that she's the mother of my children, and then what's the one thing she does that, if she was listening, a noise just slightly, she would listen and go, yeah, fair enough, he's got a point. Okay, it's funny because thinking about that,

like, the thing that she's amazing about is she just has time she's a nurturer like it don't matter her day the kids will come and she will hug them and I'm like oh right she really puts them at ease especially when they're sick. Me if they're sick my thing is I've did well man that's my voltage man. I'm she's that and let me tell you something which I dislike and I realised it, but don't tell nobody so I'll whisper. Yeah, we'll keep it just between us. Between us. Like I actually hate on my missus like,

let me tell you something, right? We was in the car the other day in the phone, right? And she was talking and she was just kiki-ing. Ha ha ha ha. So I was like, oh, they cool. Then she come off the phone. I was like, who's that? She's like, oh, that's my daughter. She was like, that's my oldest. I was like, oh, they cool. Then she come up the phone. I was like, who's that? She's like, oh, that's my daughter. She was like, that's my oldest.

I was like, what? I can't remember the last time she called me just to eat it a lot. Yeah. But no, that's not even the worst one. That, I just, I clapped at myself like, oh, they're cool. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's good. That's cool.

Let's check. What got me when I looked at my missus proper side eye? Same thing kind of happened. And she was like, oh, what happened? Oh, okay, cool. And then we had a conversation about a couple more minutes. And then she's like, all right, cool. I'll see you when you get home.

So I'm thinking, what? Because I've raised that. And it was my 14 year old son. He had a game. He gave her the breakdown. He said, so I'm like, wait, the kids actually call you like you lot are fools. He's like, yeah.

But then, let me tell you something, I was like, oh, I don't have that relationship with my kids. Like, they're not calling me like, I'm looking at my son. He was talking to her about football. He didn't even call me. But you know what I did? Cause I'm a petty brother, right?

Earlier in the day, he left something in his room on the floor and I keep on telling him to leave it. But I went in there and I picked it up and I moved it for him. So I was like, ah, when I got home, I put it back on the floor. When he came home, I grounded it just because he didn't pull me. But just keep that between us. I know I'm petty. But maybe she might ring you if you're not imprisoning her in London for three more years. Put her up for a parole hearing and then she might ring you if you're not imprisoning her in London for three more years. Do you know what I mean? Put her up for a parole hearing and then she might ring you.

Thank you so much, mate. It's been brilliant. Good luck with everything you end up doing. Yeah, thanks for coming on. Bye, it was Papa Joyot. Hey, how are you? Lovely bloke. Yeah, it's great, ain't it? Absolutely. His daughter's going to Manchester. Oh, yeah. I mean, I really want to interview his partner because I imagine we went, so apparently your daughter's going to Manchester. Oh, yeah. I mean, I really want to interview his partner

because I imagine we went, so apparently your daughter's going to stay in London. No, she's going to Manchester. Yeah, she's going to Manchester. It's a short accommodation already. Yeah. That's what that phone calls about. I get it, though, with your first, you know, it's easy to say, but when you've got your first born going away, it's always the way where the eldest goes, you wasn't this relaxed with me.

And then like the sort of the youngest daughter's like going to our napa and her own at 16 and he's like, yeah, she'll be all right. Right, Josh, I'll see you next time. See you next time, Rob. Bye.