Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S11 EP2: Mick Jagger's Birthday Party

Episode Date: August 11, 2025

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... Rob goes to see Oasis and ends up drunk at Mick Jaggers birthday party. Relatable? No Sexy? Maybe... A great anecdote? ABSOLUTELY! Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week you'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.

Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting wo. Because let's be honest, There are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Rory? Can you say Rob... Bob Patrick.

And can you say Josh? Just what's damn. Well, Dad. Is that a Bob Beckett? Do you know what's interesting about that? She only needed to prompt the first name and he had the second one in his bag. Really? so he knew already. Can I say Rob and he said Bob Beckett? And can you say Josh? And he said

Josh Whitcomb. Whitcomb. It's a tough one. I know. Widdickum. How is Josh Widdickon? Oh, who's that first? Let's get the full detail. How is Josh Wittaker? That's what I say in the mirror every morning. How is and who is Josh Wittaker? Welcome to the podcast. Welcome where I chat to guests about the things that make them, break them and create them. Welcome to the show. It's been called Behind the Curtain with Bob Beckett. Can you hear that plane going over? No. And every Instagram clip will start with you crying

and then it'll cut back to that intro. Basically, what we'll do is we'll get you to come to a studio in central London. You'll have to make your own way there, your own way back. We won't pay you. We won't pay you any money. We'll force you to cry and visit trauma. Then we'll plaster that everywhere with some sort of mad thumbnail algorithm. We'll pay people to promote that into other people.

to Instagram feeds that don't even want it, so the comments will be negative because it will be forced down the throats of people that don't like you. And then what we'll do is we'll earn quite a lot of money from that and not pay you. Thank you very much. Here's a word for our sponsor.

How is and who is Josh Whitaker? How is and who is Josh Ridicum? Well, I tell you, how is and who is Emily and Rory? This is our adorable 22-month-old, who has been listening to your podcast since he was born. whenever he hears both your voices he says your name

we've been listening to the podcast as a family that's mental I just think that's mental listening to this with kids well they're too young enough that it doesn't matter but there's going to come a point

when you have to draw the line well draconette will come what think will they pick up from it when he says at school let me tell you this for free do you know what my son I hate

you know we're not a podcast of funny things like it said Rob but my son did fall out of bed the other day yeah he fell out of bed twice in a week and the second time he fell out of bed I just heard a thud and then he went not again maybe we should be a podcast of what funny things that was great

that was good stuff it was so tired Wasn't it? You set something up that's applicable to the podcast scene. There was a punch on at the end. We all laughed. We moved. We're not talking about traffic lights aren't working. Exactly. This is where the bloody money is, mate. Come on. Stephen Bartlett wouldn't be talking about traffic lights. He'd have your kid on crying. Exactly. What do you think made you fall out of bed? We've been listening to the podcast as a family before he was born. And both my mum and brother, as well as my partner, Drew, and all love it. Thank you for keeping us. both saying both pre and after COVID. Not pre, let's be very clear about that, during. During, yeah, not pre-COVID.

Pre-COVID. Pre-COVID, yeah. I've had two incidents regarding the podcast. I've just got gobble-gobbled by a paramedic on the way back from the shop. Wow. What, at the window? No, I was walking past a group of paramedics outside a coffee shop. Right.

And I'd cut through the middle of them because they were in the pavement. and one of them just said gobble-gobble as I went past. Gopble, gobble, that's nice. You've got been gobble-gobbled by apparently having coffee. Also, I had a dream about this podcast last night, Rob, which is rare. I dreamt that I'd already got up and done it and then just gone back to bed. I wouldn't say that to dread. What you've set me up for there is like you had a wonderful dream about how much you love this.

But what you've done there is you've just thought, I haven't got time for this today. Do you know what, in the dream I was thinking, am I phoning this in? because I've literally got up. I don't know what I've said and I've gone back to bed. You sure it was a dream or not just the last episode? That's the worry.

That's the worry. So in your head, you've already done this pod. Did you do the anecdote about your son falling out of bed because that was quite good? No, I didn't actually. No, no, I didn't.

What did you say in the dream episode? I just didn't, in my, in the dream episode, I didn't remember anything I'd said and I was kind of thinking to myself, that's not good enough. You've not put any effort in that. Oh, God. So you've had an anxiety induced

to-do list room. Yeah. Oh, we've been to-do listing all over the fucking shop today. So you had a busy morning, did you say,

before we start recording? Well, yeah. So my mother-in-laws had an operation on her back. Oh, okay. Yeah. So she's here.

Rose is working. My mother-in-law's sister, whatever that would be, is here as well, to kind of help look after her while I do this. Yeah. So while I do this podcast,

shout out to Jiggy. So your mother-in-law's sister has come around to be like look after your mother in law while you do the podcast well she was there last she got her from hospital last night because we were coming back from cornwall right and brought her back to here yeah to your house in london yeah right she stayed the night she stayed the night and she's nursing her sister she's nursing her sister and then uh god it's shit getting old in it it's rubbish don't do it like the thought of me having to drive my brother back from

the hospital because he's got a back operator fuck you know i don't need this yeah and then um Is that too harsh? No, it's fine Because I think getting old is shit I think everyone who's old says it's fucking shit That was my grand when I was growing up Would just say, don't get old darling It's such a bore she used to say

Such a bore Yeah, because it's just aches and it's pains And it's, anyway, so Well, I hope she feels better soon She will, she's got a plastic brace around her like um but she's got away for three months oh Jesus Christ yeah but she's in good spirit and she's actually pretty active considering I thought I thought she would be kind of horizontal but actually she's she was up and about yesterday oh that's good well best best wishes to your mother-in-law

she's going to the coffee shop yeah so that's going on and then we've got the kids and then we've got back from hospital so they're off school to my hospital yeah it's summer holidays and they're not in any summer camps? My daughter's going to art bash next week. Art bash? Wow. Art bash. My kids have been in one this week but then they're off next. They're doing one art class actually but it's balancing it the old summer camps because you want to see them as well but so they're off at the moment. You do want them to have a summer don't you? You don't want them to be like those American kids that go to summer camp and then it's just like but um my son obviously nursery's still going. Oh that goes through summer. Yeah. So she's just

your daughter off today? Well, no, because it's quite difficult to take him in when she's off. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Why does she get to stay? Yeah, so you're just like, fuck it. I'm doing this at 9am. I'm not going to... So who's you can after the kids now? My mother-in-law's sister. Gosh, she's taking a hit, isn't she? Well, yeah. Until 11. Yeah, she is. We're just sitting, staring at the TV. But my sons did have a week of nurse which we've had to cancel because he's having his tonsils out. Oh, no. And you basically have to put them in quarantine for 10 days after they've had their tonsils out.

So has he had tonsilitis a certain amount of times then? No, he's got sleep apnea. Oh, gosh. So when he sleeps, it sounds like he's suffocating throughout the night. Oh, my God. Yeah. So he's got to have his tonsils out. I hope he's not a listener because he doesn't know it yet.

he's been at if he's a listener he's been hammered so far this episode yeah um oh bless him oh that's horrible how you feel that's horrible yeah you've got a stressful little summer here ain't you josh yeah fucking hell and we're moving house do you know what though just it's making me feel better about my summer yeah well i went to the driving range yesterday we should just we can just say it's the driving range and the gym yesterday oh fuck it out felt like a divorcee i can't tell you how far i am off having the chance to do exercise. The kids were in summer camp and I woke up and I went, Lou, what are you doing today? She was like, nothing. I went, me

too. I went to the bloody job. I went to the driving range, went to the gym, then did a food shop, then went to the chiropractor and got my beard trimmed. Fucking out. Do you know what's happened this morning? I've got gobble gobbled. I've had to gobble I've had to gobble twice because

when I'm going to be in. That sounds like you started the day of a blow job. Sorry, woke up, gobble-gobled. Rose went to work, then I popped down the cafe. The cat's pissed in the hallway. Oh, how old's the cat, Josh? It's because she's been stressed because we were away.

Yeah, and she's getting fed by neighbour. But she's old, and does she know she's moving? Is she a listener? She's not a listener. She doesn't know she's moving. How old is she? We got her when I went to Australia, so 2015, 10 years old. And you're an old for a cat, and it?

Yeah, I think she's got a few more years. I'm slightly worried about moving our vet, because obviously we've got in a good groove with having it, a kidney's flushed. And what, how shit is getting old, and we're not even properly old, but a genuine concern of you is, oh, that's just, you know, he knows how to flush her kidneys, she knows he's going to flush her kidneys, we drop him off, we pick him up, flush the kidney. It's fine. So you need to find a new kidney flusher where you're moving to.

So we should say about moving, because we didn't, it's difficult to talk about the moving process. There's so many legal stuff while it's happening. Like, and you're going, you don't want to be going, fucking hell, the surveys come back, etc. So we're recording it as we go in, then we're going to put out some specials. Yeah, we've got a couple of secret tapes of what's going on with the move. So we're not deep diving on the move in these episodes,

but when the move's sorted, we were releasing. Or there's going to be some really bleak secret tapes of someone's house move falling through. And you know what? The listeners, they want that. They want that. Sick, sick people. I will put it out.

I will put it out. And you'll love it. You'll gobble, gobble that up. And I can't wait to listen to that one. His house move fell through, you animals. And you know what? I'd be loving it too if I was you. Yeah.

I reckon if we did an Instagram vote, 85% of you would say you want the house move to fall through. And thank you. And thank you, our law listeners. It's true, though, isn't it? Yeah, fair. And then they'll be a couple listening, and you're probably listening now,

and you'll listen to the house, move, full through, and you'll turn it off and say to each other, well, I think they rush that anyway. And what their little opinions. Oh, yeah, what a mad thing to do anyway, serves them right, actually. And I'd be doing it too. Yeah. How's your summer holiday been, Rob?

Some holidays? It's been good, actually. We've, well, I went to Oasis, so I didn't even talk about cancer Oasis. Oh, yeah, talked a minute. Because I'm going, oh, my God. That was another dream I had. What, that you went to Oasis?

You've got to go, but you're not going? I am going. You are going? When are you going? I'm going. This is awful, but in the dream I was like, fucking out. If I only had gone to one of the earlier tour dates. But that was in the dream.

He's not dead though, Noel Gallagher, is it? He's not dead at the time of recording. He will be at some point. But he looks in fine, Fettel. I'm going on, well, I'm going in September to the Wembley in September. Nice. Tell me about it. That's amazing.

let's be clear I know because I follow Lou on Instagram you didn't make swimming the next morning I did not make swimming this morning last time you were promising you were going to make swimming with your kids I didn't make swimming

I negotiated no swimming with the kids for a pizza express and a toy did you do the negotiation in the morning or when you got back at 1am do you know what the greatest power we have this summer holidays is what?

Lou won a raffle thing which allowed her to buy a box of Labuboos at normal. Booboos are these little furry teddy that everyone's going mad for. They're about 12 quid a box and their mystery boxes. Type in Labubu pot mark.

How you spent? Oh yeah, right. And then basically what was happening was people queuing up to the shots to buy loads and sell them for 80 quid of pop. She won a raffle to buy them? Basically, you enter a raffle. If you win the raffle and you turn up on that day,

you can buy a normal box and there's eight of them and at normal price. So they're at 10 or each. It comes about 80 quid. we bought one of them, we put them in a cupboard, and now, our strong Donald Trump-style tariff negotiating armies, look, if we don't go swimming, the boo-boo? Yeah, but you can't play them too often.

We can't play them too often, but I needed to play them because I got, basically, I... So talk to me about racist. How unbearable were you? Awful. I cried. I cried. Did you? During whatever.

Cried during whatever. I basically wasn't going to try and get too drunk. Do you know why whatever's not on an album? I know it's a B-side. Yeah, do you want to, you know, it was a single? Single. But it never made it onto an album. Do you want to know why?

Why is that? This is boring trivia. Go on. It's not stopped you before. That's a shame. Sorry. Sorry, I'm going to apologize. It was such a nice time.

You folded your arms. You've got in your own. I've got in your own again. Unfold your arms. Because it's, because the tune is taken from a different tune by, in the, from, I can't remember from a guy called Neil Innes. in the 60s that so it's a reworking of a tune and so they couldn't put it on an album because yeah that's to pay him too much money so it's a single only it's a great song it's a brilliant song

i can't fucking wait so basically we went and got really i met with our friends and i was like i'll drink in a day but not at the gig so i drunk quite sensibly had a couple of beers had a big lunch what i'll do i'll start drinking and then that'll be the point of which i want to stop when i get to oasis having had five pints then i won't want to drink well what happened was and then i started drinking rosé with loads of ice and sort of hydrating myself as i go yeah that's not a thing but yeah that is a thing that's something me and leu have been working on this summer lots of ice you're not even getting drunk just get a little buzz okay yeah yeah yeah anyway so i did that it's quite good actually felt a bit tired and then richard ashcroft where were you having your rosé and ice at oasis so the tickets were in we were in seated but like

in the raw but i've sat where they give the f a cup out were you yeah so i'm i'm I paid for my tickets before you get in my head. Club Wembley, yeah. And there was like a bar behind that area. That's where I'm going to go. And I paid for my tickets and I'll be honest. They were punchy. Yeah.

They've got punchy. Yeah, so we were getting rosé with that. And anyway, the gig started. Richard Ashcroft. You've got to get him for Richard Ashcroft when he does. I'm not going to be able to get into the Richard Ashcroft. You've told you why I can't get him for Richard Ashcroft. My friends kept on bringing rosé, but without, without ice, I was drinking loads of it,

got over excited, stood up. and sang for the whole two hours the most amazing gig I've ever been to. Yeah. And then carried on drinking because I got invited to a party. Sorry, are you 18? You got invited to a party?

Yeah. And I went to a nightclub. Someone had an empty? I went to a nightclub. Went to a nightclub. And I arrived there at midnight and left at 2 a.m. What about your motorbike?

I got the motorbike. Now, when it comes to unrelatable, I think this, we may have to end the podcast here. Okay, you've got the moment. revving outside, like a car. Like a bad boyfriend. And the motorbike was amazing. I got the motorbike, zip through London,

and he dropped me off at the nightclub to my friend's birthday party. Who is your friend famous? When I say my friend, it's not my friend. I went to Mick Jagger's birthday party. What? No. That is mental.

I know. What? How did this happen? So I got a text message off of Jimmy. car. What? You went, you at Oasis. I went, yeah. You went, do you want to go for a drink after? I was like, maybe. I've got, no, I've got to get back. You went, it's at Mick Jagger's birthday party. I went, yep, I'll see you there. That is mental. And I was not in a fit state to go to another party. So you talk to me about who's there. So you get there. I arrive.

What age is Mick Jagger? 82. And you can't say no to that party because there might not be many more. Of course. And I don't know if you'll be invited. And I don't think I was officially invited. I was Jimmy Carl's mate, basically. Do you speak to him? So I arrived in a pair of Adidas Sambas, Adidas sox, Stone Island shorts. Did you jettison your mates at this point? I ditch them.

They're gone. Yeah, yeah. See you later. This is mental. You've changed, I have. Up yours, see you later. I'm getting on my motorbike. Good luck on the tube.

Thank you. You do the same. See you next week. Anyway, no, so I got there, and then I got like taken in by the security guard. guys because it's all and they got taken for it's mad it was a tiny little backroom and it was Mick Jagger was there um obviously a lot of his ex-wives and children from his ex-wives get him on the bloody pod um he was there mariela frosh frost yep marian frostrop she was a someone guinis this sort of like fashion lady don't know i don't know but she looked like lady lady garland

yeah sasha baron cohen fucking nora ronnie wood And they're a lot of family and friends. It's nice that he's, because some people you think, oh, they probably aren't mates. It's nice that Ronnie Woods going to his birthday. It actually felt like quite a fun. And I think his mate owns the club. Anyway, it was really nice.

Everyone was really chatty and hospitable. The music was quite loud. So talk to me about the amount of people. Are we talking 12 people? Oh, 40 or 50 in a little room. So you must have spoken to him. I said hello to Mick Jagger. probably chat to him because there was like another separate room that had him in it with like

Sasha Brown-Cowling and I was chatting to Ronnie Wood and Ronnie Wood's wife Sally who are lovely. Sally Wood. So I was chatting to them for most of the night. Oh wow. And then Jimmy Carr obviously and then a couple of others and then I was like I'm too pissed to beer. I was so pissed. Can I just ask? Mick Jagger has a VIP area at his own birthday party. Yeah. You got to respect it. And then they sang out And then the cake came out I'm stood there, Josh

I'm stood there, I am absolutely I'm fucking head I'm relatable I've drunk I'd say at this point two espresso martinis And sorry Has Mick Jagger gone to a aces?

No idea I've had six points of lager Two espresso martinis And I'd say A bottle and a half a rosé And just been to the best gig of my life And I'm stood We're in a Stone Island anirac

This is my heart With a vodka and soda after being on a motorbike chatting to Ronnie Wood and Sally Wood and Jimmy Carr and I'm just talking absolute shite What? Did the motorbike wait? No, he dropped me off and then when I left

I was like, oh, I'm going now And because all the security are used to looking after like Yeah Like the rolling, literally the rolling stones Yeah, yeah They were like, okay, he's leaving I got like frog marched out by four people That were like holding on to me

Yeah, they were just delighted At last he's fucking leaving Maybe I got kicked out, I don't know No, but they were like, escorted me out. Because they used to doing the Rolling Stones, they normally, like, put their arms behind their back and then, like, marched them out, don't they? Yeah, and they did it a toilet bogwash me,

and someone put my trousers down and slap my bum. So just to confirm, Keith Richards didn't attend. I didn't see it. He might be there earlier, but I got there late. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. But they're balking me out, like, they're extracting me, like I'm a rolling stone, and there's, like, 10,000 people trying to grab me.

Oh, Ronnie Wood. He's sober talking to you after you're that hammered. They said I wanted to come to a gig I woke up in the morning and it said hello and it was a text message from Sally and Ronnie Wood Amazing

Anyway I'm getting marched out And they're like come with me And they're like as if But I don't need this level of security No one even knows who I am really In this room No, you're not Marriela Foster Let me get to your car

And I was like I haven't got a car What? They're expecting like Yeah Yeah I don't got a car I'll get a cab

And they went all right And I'm just on the street And then I got photograph coming out of it Oh did you? Why? I look absolutely wired Yeah anyway

And then I got on a taxi from Chelsea to my house and it costs quite a lot of money, Josh. And I fell asleep. But that is one of the great anecdotes. And I had to get cash out, but I was too pissed to put my pin number in. It's bad. They didn't take card. Well, no. Where I live, the signal's not good.

Fucking hell, right. What a different life you lead from like one minute to the next. I fell asleep, right? And I'm like asleep in this. And I fell asleep. Like, I didn't fall asleep. I basically passed out, right? Of exhaustion and alcohol.

So I'm laying there in the back of the. car and he's I'm getting bounced around and then he goes hello mate I'm at a cash point and we're like 10 minutes from my house and I wake up and do you ever like I know you don't drink anymore I'm like I don't even know where my wallet is I don't know where my cards and I'm just stood in front of the cash machine like yeah I used to regularly end up canceling my pin because I couldn't remember it when you got drunk yeah just three failures cancel my pin I very rarely have these nights out and it only got exacerbated because I got invited to that thing but you very rarely go to to big Jackers' birthday party. Once a year. Once a year at most. But yeah, so that was one of the most mental nights of my life. That is fucking incredible. Oasis was on such a high.

And then you still didn't go swimming. Didn't go swimming. It was a tough morning. So you prefer to hang out with celebs than your own children. Do you know what? When my kids get to 18 and I explain what's going on, they would say you were right. Yeah.

And I did explain to him on the podcast. He's his daddy's day. I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want today. I'm going to meet up. It's my friend Mick's birthday. It's my good friend Mick's birthday. Yeah. And I'm going to go to that birthday party, sing happy birthday to him,

eat some of his cake and not have a full conversation with him, actually. What cakes are he having? Because he's really chocolate, lovely cake, lovely chocolate cake. Didn't put all the candles on there? No, no, no. Wasn't he ate you two? Yes, fire lungs to blow those out. The amount of hairspray in that room.

So how many of his exes were there? Was Jerry Hall there? I think so. I'm not sure because I was really drunk and I didn't really know anyone was. Yeah, yeah. I was just chatting to everyone. Yeah, yeah. And I was really chay. I would say probably one of the most dominant individuals at the party that one shouldn't be there or be talking to anyone in the state he was in. I knew I was drunk because it was very hot in there and I wore anorak the whole time. I didn't even attempt to take it off. Did you talk to Ronnie Wood about Oasis? Or did you think that's a bit? Yeah, I did. I spoke to him a lot about, he apparently, you know, it was quite interested in my upbringing because we've both, because Mick Jagger and Ronnie Wood, obviously, are all very working class, boys done well kind of thing. So he was very interested about where I grew up and stuff. Because he grew up, I think he was one of the, he said it's a dog's bark. Can you hear that? Yeah, that's all right. Well, no, it's not my call. Michael.

I'm going to shut the door. I'm just going to shut the window. This is. Is that my dog? What can you give me two seconds? Yeah, of course. All right, I shout out. I'd have to be, oh, fucking hell, I really fell over. Hello, me again.

On the picture, you're anorak. That's not wet, is it? That's the light. No, that's the design. I didn't get it. Yeah, I just thought you'd. Yeah, anyway, no, it's such, it was probably the best,

one of the best nights out I've ever heard. Yeah, I bet it was. Well, I can't wait for Oasis now. It's rock and roll's back. It's back. It's the 90s again. It's crazy. I'm very excited.

Go to Oasis before I know. I'll be at Ringo Stars' wedding anniversary. You know that I'm, I've got a bit of a, I've told you that I've got a problem that I'm doubling it with a wedding. And where is the wedding? Battersea. Do they know you're doubling it? Yeah, because Oasis was in first.

So what time is dinner? Are you there all day? And also, just to argue, just to argue, right? Gone. In my defence. Who's going you and Rose to Oasis? No, Rose is staying at the wedding. Who are you going Oasis with? three friends

and you're meeting them there yeah cool just to argue I got offered to buy a ticket for Oasis yeah the week before my tour went on sale

right before so I was doing a tour show on that date that then got moved before it was on sale before I went on sale because I wouldn't have moved it if it was on sale because they'd fuck people over so had I not got the Oasis

ticket I wouldn't be able to go to the wedding at all. Right. So they're already getting Josh Rican bonus time. No, what I'm actually saying is Oasis has made me able to go to the wedding. I can't then throw it back in the Gallagher's face because they've done... No, of course not. You've got respect to the initial booking.

Exactly. So what times you're there, what times the wedding start? I don't know. You've got to get there for the last Richard Ascroft's on. Well, I like cast. But I don't think that's fit. I don't think that's feasible. No, cast were good. Richard Ashcroft was good. But the last, when he does,

a bit of sweet symphony. Yeah. That is a moment. Tell who he was making a bit of money off that, who wrote the strings for that, your mate Mick. The Jackman? Yeah, the Rolling Stones made loan of money

out of bit of sweet symphony. It's a bit like that whatever thing. And you know what? I ate the cake of that profit. You ate the cake of that profit. You enjoyed the song. And then ate the cake of the profit. Full circle.

The only way to complete that circle was for me to have a shit at that nightclub. Leave my mark. Right. I've got other stuff to talk about, more relatable. Yeah, Paul McCartney's babysitting for you. Little blackbird

singing to the kids. So, on to Lisbon with Lou. You are? By the way, Lisbon's outrageous. Lisbon's so good. Have you been to Lisbon? No, we were going to go. and then it was our la it was right at the end of rose being pregnant the first time

it was like the la we cancelled it and we've never been back right and once our kids turn 18 you'll be there we'll be there so you had some time away from kids time away from the kids and i actually missed him a little bit though because i've been lou loved it obviously because she's been with them non-stop right sure did a good job didn't he like looking after them we're all going on us but i had a bit of an incident on the way back from the airport Do you want to hear what happened? What? Well, the flight got delayed, right, BA again.

Yeah. My good old friend's BA. Flight got delayed two hours because of that. Radar's not working. It's quite scary that when you were in airport. They got the radar's not working. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, it was for everyone, fair enough,

you know, nothing they could do. Anyway, landed two hours late. Then it was at the airport and then we waited for an hour for our bag, didn't turn up. Yeah. Then we went to try and find the bag, and then we basically, Lou went to a lady at the reception, and said, oh, how bag, can you scan this and let's know where a bag?

She went, oh, I've just scanned it. Yeah, and she's scanned it. She said she scanned it. It's just arrived two minutes ago at Carousel 11. Okay. And then we went over to Carousel 11, which wasn't moving, and it's just loads of abandoned bags. So like a big pile of every lost bag at Heathrow.

The saddest carousel in Heathford. The saddest, so it's basically all the lost bags. So we spent about 20 minutes going through every bag to find our bag. Can't find a bag. Then I spend 15 minutes doing it. Lou still waiting at the original carousin. So this is like three hours after we landed. Then we go back and Lou says to the lady,

can you scan this for me? She went, I've already scanned it. There's no point. And it was like, well, okay, well, you scanned it before. They've heard what you're saying about the BA. And said it was there, but it's not there. Do you mind? She went, no, there's no point scanning it.

So I refused to scan it. So then I took the card and said to someone else, excuse me, can you scan this for me, please. So I can see where my bag is? And the lady went, yeah, and she was lovely that lady. She was like, yeah, okay. she scanned it and she went and nothing's come up yet it's not arrived at Heathrow nothing's nothing's been scanned in so basically what that means is you need to put in the

form and I've done it before my bag's been lost before by BA yeah it's not my first rodeo so you basically go to an iPad put your details in and it when it arrives they send it to your house so today's Friday we came home Wednesday night apparently the bags arriving in an hour so it's been missing two days anyway so I say So sorry, it's not been scanned in at all. And I was like, your colleague just said it had been scanned in and it had arrived two minutes ago at Carousel 11. So what did she, why is she lying to us?

And then I was like, because if you just said it weren't here, I don't mind, bags get lost, I get it. And you've had a terrible day. Just tell me that. We wouldn't have spent 45 minutes looking for a bag that wasn't there. Yeah. And anyway, and then the lady come over and she was so, she was so agy. like a sorry what i was like so you you lied to my wife about where the bag was it was never there

and we just wasted 45 but she went don't call me a liar i'm not a liar why are you getting aggressive and i was like and i weren't getting aggressive gosh i've seen you get aggressive and that annoyed me a little because like if you accuse someone of being aggressive it's very difficult to backtrack from that and i was like i'm not being aggressive and then it looked and basically i hadn't even moved and she just gets a shouting at me going i've been here for nine hours and it's made it's been crazy and i was like i've been here for two hours i'm not even getting paid that didn't help. And then she started,

you'll be really aggressive. And she went, oh, don't call me on it. I went, well, I'm not, okay, maybe I'll change the word. I was misled, but one of you's lying, because one of you said it's been scanned in there. So whether you're mistaken or not, and she just got really angry and she started shouting at me. Your bag's turned up with a shit in it in an hour.

Yeah, the bag's going to turn up with human shit in it in an hour. So we'll see what's going on. But then I tried to message, then I was, I tried to message BA, right? And they were like, because I put a thing up. They blocked you. They basically, I put a thing up going, been shouted out, lost my bag with BA. Because I've got a photo of a baby seat that's disgusting from when I flew before.

So I always had this running joke where when BA mess me about, I go, they'll make me release the photo. Have I ever sent you the photo? Yeah, you have. Yeah, it's disgusting. Anyway, so I was only joking around anyway, and they went, hi, Rob, sorry to you about your luggage. To be fair, everyone on the app, the app's been really nice.

And on the plane, it's just this one woman that was obviously having a bad day, but she shouldn't be shouting at me. for losing the bag. Anyway, she basically, like I sent it all the details and they were like, can we email you what happened?

We don't have an email address, Josh. What, BA? Yeah, they don't have an email. And I was like, they don't think he's going to take off? No pun intended. Not the only thing that's not taking off with BA,

am I right, eh? And then I said, you don't have an email of best? And I went, I said, do you want me to write it all down on Instagram? And then they didn't reply.

I went, are you ghosted me? You made, because they messaged me. I went, you ghosted me, you made the first move. This is unbelievable. And I went, do you have a fax number? So they don't have an email address. And then I said, I was going to, but I was going to write,

if it's easier, I can tell my friend all about it and record it as a podcast and send you the link. Anyway, so we're waiting for to see what they say, but the bag should be arriving at 10.30, Josh. Oh, God. A bit of gold, mate, so it's not all rock and roll. It's not all rock and roll, Rob. It's not all rock and roll.

I've got a couple other things as well. world right yeah is it interesting to have recommendations of what we went to in lisbon do but anyone care i'll take one i'll take the top three you know it potentially and this will probably be once summer's over and maybe next year we're going to do more episodes a bit more deep dive ones and subjects do you reckon it's worth doing like destination ones yeah i think that is worth it and we can do that and you can talk about it as a couple and as with kids yeah yeah okay we'll log that then for we'll do that another time um the but one thing you've got to do if you go to lisbon yeah

obviously the custard tart. I mean, it's not a hot tip, but I'll tell you we went for the custard tart, which was outrageous. The pastel dinata. Oh, the pastel denata, but the place we went to, because the really popular place you see on TikTok

is the original place where they first made them. I don't want to go to the place on TikTok, do you? You don't want to go to that one. No. The place you want to go to, I'll tell you it, is called, this was the one that a local took us to,

and it was absolutely outrageous. It's called Fabrica Danata. Fabrica. And how many did you have? Don't go to the one in Belem, massive cues. Go to Fabrica, F-A-B-R-I-C-A, Donata. Go there. And then the other place you want to go to, Josh, for a pork roll, for a Bifana.

I don't want to go for a port-Roy. Oh, my God. Go to B-F-A-F-A-F-A-F-N-A-S-D-O, B-I-F-N-A-S-O. Oh, my God, outrageous, little pork roll, bit of chili oil on it and mustard. I know you can't eat that because you're... No, no, no. I'll have the chill at all. What?

The other thing, I've got to tell with this about my friend's kid. My friend's kid is going to secondary school, okay? Yeah. Obviously, there's a lot of parents out there now with kids going to secondary school. Don't fancy it. Incredibly stressful. Don't fancy it myself. Make no bones about it.

I say pound for pound, even more so than your first job or you need. I think the move from nursery to primary is nothing compared with the move from primary to secondary. Because also your defences are down, because when your kid gets to 11 and in year 6, they're confident. They're the big fish in a small pond. Also, the whole thing about primary is the teachers are all like, yeah, we're just like letting them kind of, you know, we're all about kindness and we're all about to get, do you know what I mean? Also in secondary school, the scum, you know, the horrible scum, they're sort of tearaways and a little bit cheeky at primary school. But when they get to secondary, they pupe up and go full scum. There's no real, and I'm sure this wrong.

But there's no real, and I'm referring to the kids here, there's no real c-hs at primary school. But you know, there is at secondary school. But you can see them developing. Yeah. The scum is growing, but they really mature. At my secondary school, I'm not going to be around the bush. There was some fucking psychopaths in there.

Oh, my God. Yeah, but because it's a reflection of society. There's some psychopaths in society. You will be at school with them. There was a kid, and we used to play football in, it was called them. This is really scaring anyone who's got a kid going sick of it. But things have moved on. Yeah.

Maybe. There was a kid we used to play football in the pen. The pen was like tennis courts that were rough as fuck, no tennis nets, and you were allowed to kick a tennis ball around and play football. That was our lunch break. Yeah. Right? And there was a kid who would walk in called Damien.

And he would basically, there'd be 100 kids and you'd scatter because he'd just walk in like a kind of shark arriving at the beach. Yeah. And then whoever he got to first, he'd hold them up against the fence by the throat. No. And if it was you, it was fucking awful. It was lawless. When he came in the pen, it was everyone scatter.

Get away from him. It's the closest thing to prison. Yeah. In life, secondary school. Anyway, enough about our experiences. At my school, right, my school's weird because it was in a really weird area of southeast London where actually the school was in quite a nice bit, yeah? so there was some posh sort of richer kids

they weren't posh by it but they were posh selfies they basically lived in a detached house so they had a bit more money and then you would have kids that were really rough but there's a real mix I went to a pretty nice comp I should just say I'm not like wo is me I went to what you described as a nice comp

that's what I went to I'd say mine was good but had a few moments of I remember going into the science toilets once yeah there was in there There was a bloke smoking a spliff. I said a bloke. He was about 14.

There's a kid spoke in a spliff and a bloke having my shit in the sink. It's not okay, is it? No. And then at once a geezer drove, turned up on one of them dirt bikes with a metal chain and was chasing a kid around the field

with the chain trying to eat him. Jesus fucking. Anyway, so my friend's thought I went to the induction. She was a bit nervous, went with her friends. It was all giggling in the car, right? All giggling in the car. car and then they get out the car to go to the induction all together like four of them

because she's got a couple going from the same school walk up a year 11 walks past in a full school uniform full beard the girl burst into tears she said i cannot go to school with one of my one of the other kids has got a beard yeah right so she went you can't send me here he's got a beard There's always one full beard kid There was a kid in year seven When I was in year seven And he had Like

He was a man And he was going out with a year 11 And it was totally But it made total sense Because it felt like he was a bloke It felt like he was a bloke And then you have to do like A sport star against him

In rugby Yeah And there's this little pubulous 11 year old Up against his monster fucking hate rugby and I think it's for sorry oh also Josh I think we should have another segment

I'm full of beans today yeah me too I've got a new idea for a segment product reviews right but actual real ones that we it's not just this is like not sponsored well after my my magnetiles run after magnetals run

but I've got a good I've got a positive one as well as a negative one okay right I'm going to bring it in and you can give a live reaction as I come in okay yeah I'll do that down like that so you can see. One second. You ready, Josh?

Yeah. Oh, no. You ready? I think he's wearing something because I can see that one of his hands. Oh, he's got a bell. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

That's pathetic. It's a scooter with a luggage case on. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Please tell me. Did you see it? Yeah, I did see it, yeah. It is a scooter?

Is that for your kids? Yeah. Yeah, right. So, obviously, they're coming on tour with me. Is it not too front heavy? You wait. All these questions I had, I'm not sponsored or paid for by microscooter.

No. They're not cheap. They're like 200 quid. They're expensive, but we're going on tour and it's perfect for them because we're travelling so much. Basically, it's a scooter.

You're going on tour with your kids? Yeah, they're coming to Australia, aren't they? Oh, of course, yeah. I ain't told the school yet, so, you're here. Keep that in. We'll sort that in September. It's part of educational learning,

We're taking a magnet. Look, so it's a scooter with a bag on the front, yeah? But the scooter folds down so that it turns into a normal hand luggage bag that you pull along. Look. And is there problems with the weight? Problems with the weight? Not at all because there's going to be a kid on the back of it, isn't there? But like, I'd have thought if they, no.

No, not at all. Because they're going to sit down. So look at it now. Now, and this is not great. Look at that. Look at that. Folds down, goes in overhead locker. So at the airport, they can scoot around, and then, Josh, you can detach the bag from the

scooter, and then on holiday, they've got a scooter. Oh, my word. Do you know what I'm saying? Look at that. And an adult can do it, so it'll work for them until they're like 14. Look at that. Really good, Rob. Well happy with that.

So big up micro-scooter. I paid for it. Bought two. No freebie. No advert. No spawn. Just a real man living his fucking life. On the freebie, Rob.

What freebie? I didn't get a freebie initially. Go ahead. But do you remember when I was complaining about fake, what are those big balls of fluff called? Squish mellows. Yeah. So Squish mellows got in touch with us.

I bet they did. Yeah, and said, do you want some free squish mellows? I said yes to curry favour in the same way that Lou has got those. Anyway, they arrived at our agents. Are they your bargaining tool then, the squish mullo? They don't know I've got them yet. Yeah. Our agents were like,

these are fucking massive. They've got a fucking huge box of squish mellows in their office. How big that? They take you the big ones? They must have sent us the big ones. They haven't got to my house yet. So the office is full of squish mellows. That's what you need to stick that in the removals van when you sell the house.

Oh, God, don't. We've got a tidy some. Let's save it. Let's save it. Let's save it. Oh, dear. So, when are you going? on a holiday with your kids so we're going away to Spain this summer oh yeah we're going to

take the suitcases because they fit in if you've got luggage in the on the plane they fit in the overhead locker yeah so rom so it'll be quite good because it means you and romesh can meet up at speed it's great because they they can zoom around the airport rather than sitting on their iPads yeah and they're allowed and they um when we get to holiday they can just zoom around the hotel on their scooters it's very good and because i like going along the front they can do that you know so yeah It's great, isn't it? I mean, they're expensive, I'd say, they're very expensive, but we travel so much, and they're going to start travelling with me more for work.

It's worth it for us. Yeah, because what kid doesn't want to go with Rob and Ramesh into the jungle? No, they're not coming on them once. Just me on tour. What kid doesn't want to do Grimsby Auditorium on a three Wednesday night? Look, you've got your scooter. Stop crying. I know it's raining out there.

Get on with it. Yes, they will shout, fish it. you and dirty southern bastard we piss on your fish i've told you we're getting in the car we'll be back at three a m you'll be back for school okay they'd probably love it on the scooter honestly give a kid a scooter they'll zoom around for ages give a kid a scooter that felt like the uh give a man a fishing rod give it a kid a scooter if he'll scoot it forever exactly um rob should we do a bit a bit of chat it's got a bell on it's why to pay extra for the bell oh that's nice isn't it and a little light Sorry, go on. What do you want to do?

We haven't got any sex in large public places, Rob. Oh, no? No, all the longest time in the school run. You could have asked, did you, did you, were you tempted to ask Ronnie Wood? Oh, about the school run? Yeah. He's got nine-year-old twins.

We'll have to get him and Sally on the pod. Fucking hell, yeah. That'd be great. Because his son has got Jesse Wood. They've got young, we've discussed it with Fern Cotton. Oh, yes, of course, because that's Fern Cotton's... Yeah. That's the granddad, her kid's granddad.

Yeah. Wow. There we go. She listens to the pod. Shout out to Fern. Oh, shout out Fern. Oh, I went to a wedding this week, Rob. Yeah.

It was a Wednesday wedding, which has sent my week, absolutely, I can't get a handle on days now. No. Because when you go to a wedding on a Wednesday. Why Wednesday? Cheaper. It was cheaper. It was cheaper. Also, it's during the summer holidays, so there's less of that kind of kids in school.

I think as well, have a smaller wedding. If anyone goes, I'm not taking a day off work for you. Fuck them. Fuck them. And then just have less people there. Exactly, yeah. I did the wedding till 8pm because, I mean, I'm getting ready for races. Because it was a non-kid's wedding.

So I dropped it was in Devon, Rose's friend. Right, they're taking the piss, isn't they? No kids Wednesday in Devon. Oh, yeah, we'll have a good one, mate. See you next to you. Fuck off. Rob, you're coming, you're invited to our wedding. Wednesday, Devon, no kids.

Yeah, right, mate. Fuck off. Fuck off. Well, obviously we're better friends than you are. Shove it up your fucking hearts. I mean... How do you know these losers? I bet you'll be there up the fuck,

like a fucking up, like a fucking drain pipe when Mick Jagger gets married and Totnet. I'll be all over that. Me and the Jagger. Um... You didn't come to my wedding, but you went to Mick Jaggers.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I did actually. He knows how to do him well. He's had loads. He said this is going to be one of his top five weddings. He's nailed through the best man. He barely knows the best man by this point.

It might be me on the next one. I'm going to tell these dogs off a barking one second. Shut up. Apologies. Was it a good wedding? It was a great wedding. I'm only joking with these guys anyway. I know, I know.

You're probably the only one who's inviting, not from Devon. They're all living Devon still? No, they're not my side. They're Rose's side. Oh, do they live in Devon then? No, their parents do. Ryan, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, I left at eight because I had to go and pick up the kids. It was fucking great. Back in London. No, my parents lived 45 minutes away, so I dropped the kids at the parents. That's fun. Came to the wedding. Went back to your parents. I did the speeches.

Add my pudding. Fucked off. It was the perfect wedding. And then you just hear the stories from that night. Yeah. And then that's it. Oh, there's something at the door. That's not my problem.

It's not your problem. Not my old mum. in-law. Get the brace on, will your mother-in-law? Get downstairs? You managed to get to the fucking coffee shop. I'm sure you can open a door for an Amazon. Have we got time for correspondence? Yeah, we can do one quick one and then small business. Yeah, and then...

We should have loads of message, Rob. Most libraries have an excellent audio book service called Borrow Book. Other apps are available and it's great to kids' books, etc. Oh yes, because I was struggling to set up the audio books on Audubour or Spotify or whatever But you can do it there's a library for it That's good borrow books It's still kicking off about Switzerland

You must be you've got to wait for someone to digitally return it I don't know how that does work I think We're at a point where there's a boom in audiobooks aren't we because when we were kids There'd be like a few tapes somewhere And no one listens to an audio book in the old days Do you know what? I used to get from the library to rent that film with Mel Gibson and Goldie Horn where there's a big shootout in a line enclosure.

Bird on a wire. Oh my God. What a... I forgot about that film. That was my favourite film as a kid. Well, I'm sure you could watch it again. When did that come out? You could watch it again. 1990. I was four. I'm a fucked up kid, well I'm a. Goldie Horn was great, mate. 26% of Rotten Tomatoes. Go fussy. Did you just watch House set? Did you just watch House set? with Goldie Horn and Steve Martin. Yeah, I saw that, but this was a bird in a while is my favourite. I'm going to watch that at the weekend. Treat yourself.

I mean, I would have been about eight watching that. That's not okay, is it? Sorry, small business? Yeah. I've got a good one. So I need an oven cleaning and a barbecue cleaning, and I got recommended Eagle Eye Cleaning, and I paid. This isn't a freebie.

He's really good, though. Eagle Eye cleaning. and here we go, let me get the spure. Eagle Eye ovencleaning.com.com. There you go. We cover pretty much all of London, Surrey, Kent and Essex. Do you need a separate oven cleaner?

Well, no, they do a deep clean. It looks brand new. Oh, yeah. We clean it, obviously, but to get that properly baked stuff off, honestly, it looks like they look like brand new ovens, and he did my barbecue because I was away and I didn't have time and we're having a barbecue this weekend. So he did my two ovens.

clang two ovens um i'll just send me oven i doesn't matter i've got two ovens fucking just deal with it trying to be relatable after mcjagger's birthday party yeah i've got two ovens actually we had the space we thought we'd be quite good for christmas i've got two fucking ovens soon yeah yeah two ovens um and a barbecue um camera that is it eagle eye ovencleaning.com at uk i got recommended him by one of the school dads and he was excellent very efficient oven and barbecue look brand new give eagle eye cleaning to go. Hello, Rob Josh and sexy Michael. I would love it if you give my wonderful friends,

Amy and Nell, a small business shoutout. They have started their own coffee trailer called Little Loo's L-O-U to fuel their IVF journey to parenthood. Amy and Nell worked so hard to make the business success. We're also proud of them. They had a float in London Pride and we had a great day dancing through central London. The trailer is located in Battersea by St. Mary's Church, and they've recently opened a gelotto stand. Ooh, with South London-made gelotto. Follow at at Little Lou's coffee.

Love the pod so much. My siblings and I are obsessed. Stay sexy boys. Shona from Haringay. There you go, Shona. Jolato. Jolato. Josh, I'll see you next time.

Can't wait. Bye. Thank you.