Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S11 EP20: Rugged and Ready

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Shop before they're gone. In-store online at Sephora.com. We know you love the thought of a vacation to Europe, but this time, why not look a little further? To Dubai, a city that everyone talks about and has absolutely everything you could want from a vacation destination. From world-class hotels, record-breaking skyscrapers, and epic desert adventures, to museums that showcase the future, not just the past. Choose from 14 flights per week between Canada and Dubai. Book on emirates.ca. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett, and I'm Josh Whitickham. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,

which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week you'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, Tales of Parenting Woe. because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with...

Casper, can you say Rob? Bob. Beckett? Bigot. Good. Can you say Josh? Yes. Widicum.

Beckham. Good job. Casper, what are you holding? A book. A book and... A beer. A beer. Casper, it's a bear.

Bear. Good job. A beer. That is good. A beer. She's sounded a bit Australian. Well, here we go. Currently sitting in the audience waiting for Rob to do his show in Christchurch, New Zealand.

That was literally two hours ago. Michael has taken off the top. 749 UK time. Yeah. Thought I'd try my luck and see if this email made it anywhere near the top of Michael's inbox based on the time difference. She's nailed it. I literally. off stage about 40 minutes ago and now I'm sat in a conference room and a hotel in Christchurch.

You're looking very tanned. I've caught the sun yesterday. It was nice here yesterday and it's rained. Can I, first of all, say thank you to people. I can't believe people come to see my shows this far away from home. So thank you to everyone. I'd also like to apologise to the listeners for how tired and ill I was when we did. I don't know when it will go out, but the episode where I was in Melbourne and you basically passed. And I also wanted to make an apology to Michael.

Oh, sorry, yeah. Well, you fell asleep during the show, and I was, that was a terrible combination of you being tired. And I think I was coming off the back of COVID. Oh, no. I think I got Stratus. What stratus? The new COVID, where you get a raspy voice. Oh.

And it absolutely fucked me. On stage in Melbourne, Josh, the day after we did that thing, the sound, Josh, is two minutes in and you're yawning. Well, yeah, it's not two minutes into my day, though. That's what I mean. It's even worse. Yeah, yeah. It's two minutes into the podcast and you're yawning. I'll get into it now.

I'll get into it. We haven't even finished the email. Well, no, I'm apologising for us being too tired. You've already started yawning again. I might need to start apologising for this week as well. Right, okay. You're having a cider. I'm having a cider.

A little post-show drink. It's weird when I'm sat here at 10.30 in the morning and you're in a dark room having a cider. Tiny little cider. Tiny little 330 milliliter saider, refreshingly crisp. Yeah, but onstage in Melbourne, the sound was a bit odd. I did the sound check wrong with the speakers and stuff and it was too loud on stage for me so I couldn't think properly

and I had a moment Josh the second half was fine because I sorted the speakers out but I had a moment on stage in Melbourne where I literally couldn't think of words to say and I stood there in silence and I went well and there was two and a half thousand people looking at me

my head went there is nothing here to say and it's the only time in my career and I think it's because I was ill I stood there and my brain went you have nothing to say and then I went

God it is really hard stand up and as I said that a geyser from at the back went we'll sit down then that was like an arrow to the forehead and I was like stood down I was like yeah that's funny yeah he's funnier than me

in this moment and I just have to accept that well that's the thing isn't it so often it's proved to be the case I recovered but I was exhausted That's good. So I'm feeling better now, though. I feel good. I'm pumped.

I've just done a show. I've finished my New Zealand gigs. You're going to see your kids at the end of the week. It's Monday night. I'm going to see the kids Friday morning. I'm ready to go. I'm pumped. I've had a good sleep.

They're going to be knackard, presumably. Yeah, so I'm going to have to try and manage the jet lag when they arrive. And Lou's not very good with jet lag. I told you the story when we came back from Dubai and we argued about jet lag, I think. Yeah, yeah. We argued. And I've told us, I don't need to tell you again. Do that much to the email.

Ema, sorry, sorry. This is my son, Casper, when he was almost two. He has a very Kiwi accent, despite my attempts at teaching him to speak in the English accent. I absolutely love the podcast. Started when Casper was born and have been listening from the first episode, not sure what I'll do when I'm all caught up. But it continues. It's not finishing.

Stay sex and related to Altonia, 437 months. There you go. Ten, the New Zealand accent. I'm 10 years old. That's that they speak like. And they don't really give much oomph to. vows. To vows or vows?

Vows as in countdown, not voles as in Chris Packard. No, I thought you meant vows as in you've been shagging a few wives. No marriage vows. No, so I said, what did you do? Anesist, trying to say annesist in the Kiwi accent, it's like

Inesist. Yeah. They can't get it out. And they're quite introverted and quiet. I feel like I'm being really loud everywhere. Yeah, but that happens in the UK. No, they're very polite and quiet, New Zealanders.

Are they? How long are you there for? just under a week and then we go to Japan on the way back At any point are you going to chill Japan's going to be busy I've heard that Well there'll be time to chill in Australia

because we're based on the Gold Coast of Bondi so they're like beachy resort But yeah yeah so I've got a bit of time off Once the tour's done So I've got two more gigs next week In Sydney and Thrill And how's Lou feeling about the flights Her dad's coming with her

Oh right okay So I brought my parents out last time Yeah So we're bringing her dad out Her mum don't like flying Oh, really? So just a dad's coming, and his sister lives over here. And so is he with you for the whole thing?

Yes, but he's super, the most chilled man you've ever met. Yeah. Oh, no, I wasn't saying. Baby sitter on the roads, you know, if me and Lou want to go out in Tokyo and I have two drinks and go, I'm tired. Yeah, a couple of sarkees. A couple of sarkees, if I'm lucky. Oh, oy, oy.

Sorry. I'm sitting stage mode. That is bad, isn't it? Not two. One after the other. Calm down, Lou. Jesus. I've got to take it to Tokyo more often.

She's crazy in Tokyo. Kenichi fucking what. You're excited. That's good. The energy's well off here, isn't it? Because you've just woken up and I'm fucking buzzing and on cider.

I'm so tired. I'm worried about you for the next few weeks. Did you see my video of my two days? You did. I loved your video in two days. It was very funny, very good video. But I'm worried about your workload, Josh. You'd feel like you're broken already.

You've got all. weeks to go. It's not my workload so much as... Just your constitution. It's just that I'm weak. So during the day, it's not like I'm going, I've got to do this, I've got to do this, I've got to do this, I've got to do this, it's more...

Well, can't you sleep longer? What's happening? Were you sleep? Talk me free your sleep? But last night, I worked. Where was you? You must have heard. I mean, it was all over the TV.

I did Channel 5's NFL big game night. Right. Oh, yes, because they've got coverage, haven't they? The big games. Yeah, yeah. How was that? It was very pleasant. Rob, I just turned up, watched an American football match

Most of the time they were showing the coverage And I just talked to Sam Quack about American football And learn a bit about it And then I left So what you're fucking whinging for, mate? You've not even worked. Well, not. That's what I mean.

It's not the workload. But then, then I get home in a car at half 12. Where was the recording? I don't live in London, remember? No, that's what I'm saying, but where was to record? I thought it would be late. Later than that. Hammer Smith. Oh, that's not bad. It's half, almost on the way. Yeah, exactly. So I finished at nine. Nice finish. No, actually, I got back at 12. Got what back at 12? Finished at 9. Got back the same day. Got back the same day. Might as well be in zone 5. I'm just on six hours sleep a night and it catches up with you. Fair enough. Right. So you need to try and have naps in the day when the kids are at school. I know I'm napping most days. Good work. But that's not because I'm not well. It's just... Is it possible that you've moved slightly too far away from where you do work? Just thrown out there? No.

No. No, it's not. No, okay. Because now... If you was getting in two hours earlier, you would be getting eight hours sleep, potentially. Yeah, but I don't want to live there. No, you don't want to live there.

I agree. But what I'm saying is, you still have to work there. You might as well go, why don't I move to one of those flats that's next to the BBC? Yeah. Because then I could just walk to last leg. Yeah, and not everyone can do that.

Not everyone could say. Including two of the other presenters. Exactly. Well, they can walk there. a bit of fun. Anything, it'd be a bit showy for me to go. I got here on foot. I've cartwheeled in from a solo house, hotel.

I could live there, but I'd be blissfully unhappy. I know you don't want to live there. I don't want to live in a London satellite town. Listen to me, Judge. I think what I'm saying is maybe you might need to rejig your schedule and think ahead that and take into consideration that it's extra two to three hour journey to most of your work will have an impact on sleep. Yeah, well, there's not much I can do about that.

because the tour's booked in. Fair enough. Just saying. You go where you go with tour, really, don't you, Rob? Like tonight, I'm in Reading. It's two hours. Well, it's more than two hours. It's two hours to Exeter.

It's definitely longer than that. Two and a half. 245 min. No way. Let's do it now. Let's do it now. What drive it? Exeter to Reading on Google Maps.

Remember, less traffic at night, so not 20 minutes off that. Yeah, but then there's sometimes road work, so put 20 minutes back on. There's not. There's less road works. How do you know? Have you been there yet? Well, how do you know there is? It's going to be right. We've got to take roadworks out.

Two hours, 49 minutes at the moment. Exactly. Take 20 minutes off. Two hours 30. At 20 on for a... For road routes. It actually says this route starts on a road that's now closed. Longbrook Street, your exit is shut, just so you know. But I don't live in the centre of Exeter. Okay. Would you live...

I'm not going to say that on the podcast. Yeah, it might have two minutes to your journey. I think I live nearer to Reading. Yeah, yeah, you're right. It is two hours to Reading. Yeah, yeah, I am right, yeah. No, I don't want to live... You need some sleep more, though. I know you don't.

You've moved, you've gone to the right place, but I think the extra travel will have an impact, I think. Those little gigs, like doing the NFL thing, you would have been home at about like 10 o'clock. Yeah, of course. You know what I mean? But it's just a little thing to be aware of. Don't overcomit, baby.

Look after you, invest in you. Do you know what, Rob? What? If I have to drive an extra two hours to watch the Tampa Bay Buccaneers versus... Where were you reading now? It wasn't there. as well. It was the Baltimore Ravens versus the LA Rams. Wasn't there a fight? Reds versus Blues and had a fight? Well, that wasn't the one we were watching. There's loads of matches on

yesterday. Absolutely. Game day, wouldn't it? It's game day. It's my beloved gridiron. Game day with Dermot-Lurie. Game day with Dermot O'Leary. Have you been doing much parenting then, or are you a little bit just, are you doing the school runs? Yeah, so I, because I come back to do, so that's the problem is then I'm waking up at 7 a.m. Yeah, but can't you have a line on, you could have had a line today, couldn't you and Rose do school run this morning, surely after? But if you're coming back to see your kids and then you're going to the gig in the evening, you want to see your kids for the hour and a quarter,

it's mad to then stay in bed. You might as well just stayed in Hammersmith and gone to Redding. Yeah, exactly. So you do get up and do the school one because that's what you actually, the bit you want to do. Are you staying in Reading tonight? No. You're coming home?

Yeah, because I want to see the kids. I think you've got to have a good night's sleep. I don't sleep well in hotels. What I would do is I would just get a hotel for Reading, have melatonin and just knock myself out for 10 hours. No, it's not that I could don't, it's that I wake up really early in hotels, can't get home to sleep.

Okay, fair enough. So there's no point. No. Oh, Jesus. That's hard. Because I can sleep in a hotel. Oh, well, that's good. You might as well say to a blind person.

Well, I can see. That's weird. No, it's not because I'm sure there's techniques to sleep longer. There's not techniques to not be blind. Well, because if there was techniques to not be blind and it was about effort, Chris would have called her and wouldn't have wasted his time on the fucking samba. I can tell you now, sleep is not about effort. That is the one thing you don't want to.

to be putting in to go to sleep. No, but there must be other techniques. It's not just acceptance that you wake up at six every hotel. I mean, but that is difficult. Like, sometimes I go mad. If you can't see in a hotel room, there's nothing. I had a nightmare in Wellington. It's really windy in Wellington.

All night I was awake, just scared I was going to get blown away. Even though I was inside. It was so windy. Why, did you meet Lou in Tokyo? She's going to blow you away twice. Trying to be culturally enriched it. I just kept getting goshed off. Oh, God.

Sorry, Lou. Trying to eat some noodles. Try to have a bit of fucking dim summy. Checking out all these weird vending machines. The things they've got in vending machines, I can't even concentrate on how mad it is. Maybe it's just a phase you're going through. You'll get over it.

I can't help you with that. The next appointment is in six months. You're not alone. Finding mental health support shouldn't leave you feeling more lost. At CAMH, we know how frustrating it can be trying to access care. We're working to build a future where the path to support is clear, and every step forward feels like progress, not another

wrong turn. Visit camh.ca to help us forge a better path for mental health care. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rink on Uber Eats, but iced tea,

ice cream, or just plain old ice, yes, we deliver those. Goaltenders, no, but chicken tenders, yes, because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Well, this is what I saw in a vendor machine the other day. I was in Adelaide, right? I saw this.

And I thought, what a wild thing to have in a vendor machine. Yeah, there was a condom machine, right? Which I get in bars, condom machines, people maybe pick someone up in a bar. You can think about that much anymore, do you? No, no. I'm going to send you what's on there. And I just think it's such a mad stock to have when you consider like most people Exeter Station, they've got a books vending machine Yeah, no one's shagging in Exeter, like? No.

It's a penguin books vending machine. Well, this is what's in an Adelaide sports bar And I thought, if you are having a one-night stand A tingler ring, glow in the dark tingler ring Glowing the dark tingler ring And then a rugged and ready super studded condom Now, if I'm having a one-night stand I'm not whipping out, a super-studded condom

with dozens of formed rubber studs on. Just put a normal Johnny on. He's not even known as the fucking weird one-night stand stud dick, guy. I don't want to be presumptuous, should I go and get a tingler ring from the toilets before we leave. Look, like, he's going for it. We've had a couple of skewners. Do you fancy a tingler ringer?

I've heard his fucking killer. It's Ripper, mate. Well, no, but you're presuming it's a one-night stand. It might be a couple who've gone for a drink, and then they've gone, we've got a hotel. That's in the man's one, right? So they're not seeing... If they saw it at the same time drunk,

that's a bit of a laugh. But he's got to report back with... You know those tinglerings you like? They've only got them. And the rugged and the rugged and what a dick. No, also a dick rugged? Do you want to want a rugged dick, do you? You don't want a rugged man.

You don't want a dick rugged. You want a smooth one, do you want? Well, I don't know. What kind of dig do you want? I didn't really know what it means by rugged. Because in my head, rugged implies stubble. Stubble. And a cigarette.

at poking out at the end. Anyway, how are you kids? Yeah, they're good. I've not seen mine. We have my daughter's birthday. Oh, exciting. Yeah. Oh, well, I'm being waved up by people that came to the gig

through the window of the hotel conference room. Oh, gosh, what a life. I know. We did bowling. Oh, yeah, with her friends. This is the exit party. Yeah. It went very well, actually.

I'd say the only issue is they all wanted to play on the arcade machines. And, of course, I didn't have any cash because it's 20, 25. Yes, that is an oversight Because you're not getting out Do they have cash machines in Exeter? Here we go, here we go. Bear in mind, I've got more facilities here than you have where you live. What's that?

Have you got John Lewis in the middle of the countryside? Well, how fast are John Lewis from your house? 15 minute walk? 15 minute walk, lovely. No, I haven't got a John Lewis in 15 minute walk, no. Yeah, well, there we go. There we go. I can get to London in about 40 minutes, which is quite handy.

want to. I hate it. Fair enough. I know. Don't live there, but it's quite good to be there when you need to. Yeah, yeah. We're going to fucking Bills for an anniversary dinner again, an exit ice stream. Well, go there because you like the Carbonara. Before they sponsor us, because I don't think they will. I think Bill Lewis might. So go easy on there. Yeah, I like John Lewis. I like John Lewis. Bills. We can sacrifice them. Bills is shit. I don't mind Bills actually. I hate Bills. I like Bills. The mid-range. The mid-range mid-range restaurants. I think Bills is the one I don't like.

Really? I don't mind Bills. I don't think it knows what it is. It's Bill. What is it? Is it breakfast or is it dinner or is it lunch? You don't go for a special special meal there because it's quite relaxed, but it's too expensive for a quick one, isn't it?

What is this? I remember giraffe. You used to like giraffe? No, I didn't. I had the same problem with giraffe. Pick a cuisine and do it well. That's what Gordon Ramsey would say. What's your favourite then, Pizza Express?

I think Pizza Express is excellent. I think Wagamomom's does a good job. I think Nando's does a good job. Yeah. We've got a comptoir Le Bonnet in Exeter, which I like. Oh, stop it. We've got a Franco Manca. We've got a roses tie.

The future is here. Absolutely. My problem with giraffe was, if you ever watched Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsey would say, do a few things well. And giraffe was the opposite. So what happened when they wanted to go on the machine? You just said you had no money? That was the only issue.

It went swimmingly. And she's eight. or she will be in two days. They've reached the age where they don't even need to be overseen bowling. They can read the thing. Okay. So you're just like, this is incredible. You're just sat there watching them bowl.

Does your daughter include your younger son in? Or does she get annoyed of him? He didn't really want to bowl, luckily. Because he sat there for the food. No, she did include him enough. And there was actually an older sister of one of the girls who took him under her wing. Yeah. Maybe because she's older.

so she could see that you need, but also because she obviously probably felt, oh, I don't want to hang around with these slightly younger girls who are a bit square or whatever, so I'll be the one that I'll show how old I am by taking him under my wing, so she did an excellent job. Oh, that's nice, yeah, that does help that. We've got the London one next week, Rob.

Oh, yes. Can I be honest? You can't be bothered to go back up. Can't be bothered. No. It's too far. How long are you going up for, just the day, or then? No, so we're going up.

So I'm going up Friday for last leg. yeah but I'm actually going up Thursday Thursday because I've got Hastings on Thursday right Hastings and then standing in a London hotel or Hastings hotel staying in London Hotel yeah dentist Friday morning lovely do you need to know that well it's it's good to know that's a lot you're packing a lot in while you're up there last night you need to move your Dennis don't you don't you do I have Dennis down there sorry it's a good joke it's a good joke but you actually live in have you got a Franco Manca where you live I haven't got any 4G where I live no exactly Franklamanca, yes, there's one in Bromley, yeah.

Yeah, so not where you live, right. Okay. No, I haven't got one in my garden, no. No, that's embarrassing. But yes, there is a Franco Menca near me in Bromley. What's your milk situation? Me? Well, now the kids have grown up, nothing comes out.

Hey, it's good stuff, isn't it? What's my milk situation? I go to the supermarket. Well, we get food delivered. So say it's 9.30 p.m. Yeah. And you go, fuck, we're out of milk. And we've got breakfast tomorrow.

What's your options? That's never really happened, because we order it and have enough in on like an Akado. But we can do a four or five minute drive to a shop. Okay, so it's not too bad. Yeah. Or I can get a deliveroo of milk from the co-op, which is very expensive to do that. But yeah. So what do you want me to say?

I just wondered how far you are from amenities. Well, if I'm feeling a little bit saucy and a bit confident, there's a cow I could probably have a little go on, a minute walk away. Yeah. But I don't know if that's allowed. But it's definitely not, is it? Well, that's not how milk works. You can't just suck on the mouth. Has it got a calf?

Baby cow. No, I've just sort of seen the others and I just assume there's been milk in it. I don't think it's still going to be going, is it? Wow. It's only one way to find out. It's only one way to find out, and I'm not paying a £2.50 garage fee. I want my hands and knees in the rough. Yeah, so we've got the London one coming up.

Rose and the kids are coming up Friday. We're going to stay in a hotel. Oh, that'd be fun. And then Pearl's got another friend's birthday on the Saturday. Oh, that'd be great. It'll be good for the kids to see everyone and stuff. In the evening, I'm popping up to Coventry and back. Of course, sure.

And are you worried about seeing your friends after you've thrown East London under the bus? Do you think it could be awkward? No, I stand by it. Not saying you don't. I'm just saying that do you think they might be a bit like, oh, he thinks he's better than us now? No, no. Well, they might be. I can you on.

They'd be right. You've got a real... You feel like you're quite a jock since you've moved down to it. It's because they all little nerds. It's because the NFL last night. Right. Who was on it with you?

Sam Quack. But they're regulars, aren't they, Sam and Dermott? Yeah. An Apollo from Gladiators, who's called Alex. Right, okay. Who played in the NFL? Oh. He didn't play in the NFL,

but he was Atlanta on the roster for three years. Oh, that's cool. So there you go. Those were the guys. So you've got a quick pop up to Coventry and then back on the... Quick pop-up to commentary and then back. And in Sunday, are you working?

No, Sunday's the birthday. Cool. Then we come back Sunday evening. Nice. And in Monday, you anyway? Talking to you. But no gig? No.

I haven't got a gig then until the following Thursday. Nice. Unless you count the Tech Expo Ascot Racecourse on Wednesdays. What is a corporate gig? Well, I sit as a passion project, but you call it what you want. we've all got our own things it looks fun actually i'm on with maisie adam that'll be fun oh that's good if there's a couple of others doing it so i'm looking forward to that but the thing is you do go why have i done two birthday parties because you get through the birthday party yeah and you go

that was a success at wednesday we've got the actual birthday what are you doing for the actual birthday it's school day so it's like you know you'll get back at 3 a.m. wake up at 6 Presence in the morning. Then she goes to school. Frank Cabank in the evening. Frank Aranagan the evening. Bills. She's requested bills.

We've got, because we've got two birthdays in December. It's all going well, Rob. It's all going well. I know that's not ideal for the podcast. We've got a leak, which we don't know whether it's us or Southwest Water. Where's the leak? Well, that's the debate. It's either in our garden or the, it's impossible to tell whether it's on our boundary or theirs.

there's just water spurting up from somewhere well it's not spurting up but it is our bill is showing that we're leaking 40 litres an hour oh right that was my reaction rob and then the woman on the phone said that's not actually that much so god knows what other people's leaks are she was like oh we did

that's actually not a big leak it's an annoying thing to sort out though isn't it yeah there's a pipe underground that's leaking apparently but no one knows who's thought it is or where it is well he's not in the house now that is good because we've isolated the house And the meter kept ticking. Oh.

Do you want to know where the meter is? This blew my fucking mind. Go on. So I was being directed to the meter by the guy that used to live here. No? No. No, not, no. No, Edmunds.

No, no, no, no, Edmunds. No, he's in the Southern Ireland. Yeah, of course, he is. You're going to pay a visit? Absolutely not, no. We'll start trying to talk to you about crystals. You could go on his crystal bed. I don't want to go on his crystal bed.

You don't want to go on his crystal bed. He looks good, though, for his age. He does. Proofs in the pudding. Look, can I say something about New Zealand? Right. It's absolutely fucking beautiful. But a lot of it does look like Scotland and Wales.

I love Scotland and Wales. Me too. But it's a long way to come for Scotland and Wales. I felt that when people say to me, the thing's great about Melbourne is it's like a European sea. And I do think, well, do you know what? I'm all right, thanks. I could do that in two hours.

Give me Sydney Gold Coast. I don't mind Melbourne, but I think Melbourne's a better place to live, not to visit. I'm going to go to Melbourne. For one reason and one reason only. And you know what that reason is. Ramsey Street. Ramsey Street. It's difficult to go away from your family for two weeks.

It really is. Two weeks, absolutely maximum can do. I'm feeling a lot better now that they're coming. What's difficult is if you were in a job where it was like, you seriously got to do this because your family needs it to survive. Yeah. You do it. But really, me and you, our families would be fine if we didn't do this.

Yeah, so it's a bit of selfish. It's a really difficult thing in your house. head to come to terms with, if that makes sense. I'm in a very privileged position that they can come out and visit me and we have a brilliant holiday and they're going to have an amazing experience. But you're still doing two weeks, is what I mean. Yeah, you still have to do the two weeks because it's such a big country and you need to get around it and stuff.

It's very difficult because I'm obsessed with not missing their childhoods. Yeah. And I'm obsessed with being there, not just for them, but for me. Do you know what I mean? Because touring in general is a real head fuck. It's Feast and Famine, Josh. you have so much more time off over summer holidays where most people work in an office job

where it's like the kids over the summer holidays you can have loads of time off they'll be in clubs and stuff or different family, childcare or babysitter. It's just an interesting one, isn't it? Do you think about it a lot or is it just me? Yeah, massively. And especially in this tour and this year

has been really busy. So it's just a bit of a balance really because I know that in our position, you know, we don't have to do these gigs, but it's a balance between working too hard but we are self-employed. Of course. bad injury could stop off working for ages.

We've got no insurance or holiday or sick pay. And if we take our foot off the gas too much and do too little, you get forgotten about slightly. There's another person that comes along that's the people's favorite podcast. And also it's that thing where you're like, I don't want to imagine you get to an age and you're like, I should have worked at that period where I had maximum earning. Opportunity, exactly, because we're a fairly popular part of our career,

but it will dwindle off and plateau or maybe drop off or whatever. It's a balance between backing yourself to always being able to get work and do well. Because we know people who didn't take advantage of this. Yes, that now aren't in as a fortunate position. But then also there's a people that we know that took too much work on. Yeah, exactly. This is all serious, but I think it's quite interesting. It's different.

We can only talk about our experience, which is the job we do. There's loads of people probably listening that are on the verge of a promotion or want a promotion, but they know that if I get that promotion, say they get a promotion, it's like to be area manager and all of a sudden you've got to drive around the country and have all these extra responsibilities, that will take away from your family, but you will an X amount. The whole, this part of your life and your sort of late 30s, early 40s, is that managing that of like, what point do I pull back, or what point do I go again?

It's really interesting when you and your mates have kids, particularly in our industry where you've, for one of a less cliche term, you've chased a dream yes and then your work life becomes more kind of related to work because really before I had kids I never used to think about it as a job if that makes sense I used to think about like you just do it all the time and you'd kind of it was what it was it's fun experience and you get to be a comedian yeah yeah it was just like I can't believe I get to do this and now you're like okay is it worth me going to Scandinavia, or would I rather be with my kids?

Do you know what I mean, all that kind of... Well, also, it's the random gigs. So you'll have, like, oh, my tour booked, but then you'll get, so it's people walking past the reception of the hotel. You'll have all your gigs book, but then something else will come in last minute. You think, well, maybe I should do that. But then if I do that, that would tip me over the edge.

The Tech Expo? That'll be faster. The Tech Expo, Ascot Racecourse. That's the last minute gig, is it? That would have been lovely the day before Reading. It went in after the tour. Yeah. Is what I mean.

It's that juggle. but I don't know if I'm doing it right. You'll never know. There's no right answer, Rob. There's no right answer. All you can do is do what you think is best and try your best. I know. I suddenly went very serious about what it's like to.

I think it's good to go serious like that. You know, it takes a heat off me, getting sucked off by Lou in Tokyo. Something for everyone today. Not for Lou. She's going to be raging. It's a funny joke. It's a funny joke.

It's not about Lou. It's a bit of wordplay. Exactly. that's annoying what you're a muffler you don't hear it oh i don't even notice it i usually drowned it out with the radio how's this oh yeah way better save on insurance by switching to bellair direct and use the money to fix your car bellair direct insurance simplified conditions apply calling all book lovers the toronto international festival of authors brings you a world of stories all in one place discover five days of readings talks workshops and more with over 100 or

authors from around the world, including Rachel Maddow, Ketouru Isaku and Kieran Desai. The Toronto International Festival of Authors, October 29th to November 2nd. Details and Tickets at Festivalof Authors.ca. Shall we, for a bit of fun, finish with an email about new shaving your back? Yeah, hang on, so, oh God. this is the problem with being Australia is right you get to about seven o'clock at night or four or five in the afternoon

and you get about a million emails from people and then when you wake up in the morning at like 8 a.m you've got every email from overnight and I keep replying to emails and messages like when I first wake up at 8 in the morning and it gets to late in the day I don't even remember replying to it and I've agreed to do something

what have you agreed to what's happened Rich McCann got in touch no Graham Stack the ex Arsenal goalkeeper's got in touch he's organising charity boxing matches at the moment. So I will not be returning that call. But he's quite hard.

So hopefully they'll bump into him. But I'm too busy, Graham. I'm away in Australia when that's on. Yeah. Give him a shout out, though, for the charity. Look, because that's been done then. Oh, yeah, that's good. Give the charity a shout out.

Pro project promotions. Oh, yeah, ex-pro footballers, boxing for great causes, raising money for various UK charities, live events. Oh, so it's a company that raises money for charity. That's good. There you go. So pro-project promotions. Jodie Morris is fighting David Bentley.

Fucking hell. And Leroy Lita is fighting David Noble. A night to remember, 18th of October. I don't even know who David Noble is. Lee Trundles fight in Anthony Gardner. The Spurs play, how was he? Jody Morris played for Chelsea in Leeds, isn't he? Yeah, Jodie Morris versus David Bentley.

That's the top of the card. If you want to watch them fight, you can buy a table on the 18th of October at the Grosvenor House. There you go. There you go. That's a shout out for a charity for stacking then and then get off my back. Right, Rob. Let's talk about Lou Shaving your back and then we can do small business shout out. A lot of people do this, by the way.

I've had a lot of people messaging you saying that their wife. Exactly. Lou Shaving Rob's back. Lots of support for this in the inbox. Thank you. Hi, Rob and Josh. Just been listening to the latest episode where Rob is discussing Lou Shaving is back in the garden. I can confirm I also shave my husband's back in the garden and have witnessed the birds collecting the man shavings for their nests.

Have you seen any blonde robin nests in the Bromley area? You know who they are. Man shearing in the garden is a thing and helpful to hairy husbands and our feathered friends. Lovely. Keep being sexy and relatable, Sally, from East Sheppie and Kent. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. I have just listened to the episode where Rob talks about Lou Shaving's back. I too shave my husband's back regular basis

and it's a job I hate Oh We should ask Lou about this actually Wait till he takes you to Tokyo Lou Lou if you want If you are still listening at this point It feels unlikely after today's episode

I'd love to know your genuine feelings on shaving Rob's back Until recently when I This is what Rose suggested Go on Why haven't you done this Until recently when I came up with a brilliant plan I attended a local silent to have my hair laisered

So I now booking a double appointment and take my husband along with me and make him have his back done at the same time. Rose said, if you get your hair wax, your back hair waxed, it will last a lot longer and not come back thicker. Yeah, but it's so painful.

Not as painful as it is for Luke. She loves it. I'm all manly. I'm all rugged. She's a big strong boy, my big muscle of the back. She doesn't love it, Ron. She fucking loves it.

Of course she doesn't. It's sexy. Can you see her? No, you've got your back turn to her and she cries. If Lou took her top off and asked me to touch her back, I would. No, if Lou took her top off and asked you to shave her back, would you be happy?

Yeah, I wouldn't be happy, but I'd do it. Well, exactly. I'll shave whatever you want, love. Come here. So if Rob, you want to give Lou a nice gift, but to have hair laser removal done on your back? We've spoke about this. One, I've been too busy this year to schedule that in

because you have to go every week kind of thing, and I've been all over the place this year. She said after two appointments, it's made a massive difference. Right. Can you ask her what colour the man's hair is? because apparently with fine blonde hair, it doesn't work as well as, like, big black hair. Sorry, what?

Lou said that it might not work well on my back because I've got really fine blonde hair, so it doesn't work as well. But if there's anyone that can laser me and work on blondies in Brombley, let me know. What about waxing? It hurts. Oh, I'm sorry, it hurts.

Oh, sorry, Rockstar, down here. I'm not fucking one of the cray twins on the podcast of me. I'm not like, ah, ah, ah, ah, I'm good to go. So do you think, lose supines it's sexy? No. Okay, just check. I think she

isn't that bothered, doesn't mind if she's got a jumper on if it's cold, would rather not have to do it, but marriage is compromised. There's loads of stuff you don't want to do, but you have to do. Why is it outside? So it doesn't go on the floor, and also it's good for the birds. Yeah, okay. Just so we don't have to clear it up, because you hoover it up,

it never fully gets picked up, is it? No, no, fair enough. Fair enough. Have you not hairy anywhere? Have you got hairy back? I haven't got that hairy back, no. Do you want to see my back? Yeah, take yourself off and turn around, bend over. Doing it. Michael, we don't need to see this, do it?

I'm going to take the headphones out, sorry. Yeah, he can't hear us. Look at him. Oh, God. He's got hairy chest and hairy belly. Duck down a bit. We can't see the top. He can't hear us.

Looking well, though. You look pretty trim, mate. Well, it's because I ate a lot of soup on tour. Bleak old life, isn't it? Yeah. Should we do small business? Sorry, Miss, what did you say about my back? Couldn't see the shoulders

But he looked fairly bald to me Yeah, I've got a bit of downy fluff Downy fluff You could wear tighter tops If you wanted, I reckon I don't want to wear tighter tops That's fine, just hang Thank you

Got a nice little chest on you Lovely little arms Thank you A little bit of a six-pack going on there He turned on Rob What? Quick Sarky Come on

I'll have a quick Another Somersby, Sider Small business You got one or a drummy to go Small business We both fight for the shortest one, don't we? I've tried to get there first.

So I've got one here, Rob. Project 38. Long-time listener, an all-round superfan, mum of two daughters, 11 and 8. Two years ago, redundancy gave me the push to finally do what I'd been talking about for years. I launched Project 38, a consultancy

that helps people get stuff done when they don't have time or headspace to know where to start. I helped sort out life admin chaos MOTs, booking childcare on the right day. So you're not stuck with kids on your birthday, school holiday planning, thoughtful gift buying, and finally ordering that kettle, to the bigger stuff like planning Disney-level holidays, or relax,

Poolea escapes, coordinating house moves, parties, full-on wedding planning, in brackets, just saying Michael, close brackets. I work with families, founders and individuals to bring a bit of order, creativity and humour, to life and work, support is available for all budgets. You can find me at www.project-38.com. Stay sexy and relatable, Kelly. Good work, Kelly. Good luck with that. You could do with her. Dear Rob, Josh and Michael, my sister used to make her two boys' advent calendars

where she took a whole Lego toy and divided it into 24 daily bundles. Oh, that's good. They loved it and together we turned it into a business last year. They're set suitable for every age and you can buy them as packets to fill your own calendar or in festive boxes at Double as Christmas decorations. Check out our website, build up to Christmas.com. Thank you so much. I wrote last year, so double crossed my fingers. see it this year from sexy relatable candies there you go build up to christmas perfect time for it to go

out there so get yourself some lego advent canadas josh i'll have a tea before joe thomas have a tea see in a bit love you bye love you just thought it's nice oh i love you too god bless