Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S11 EP29: We've lost the passports!

Episode Date: November 21, 2025

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... in this episode we get through some of your listener correspondence (most of which the guys can't remember asking for!) If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week you'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.

Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting wo. Because let's be honest, There are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting How Are We? Rex, can you say Josh? God.

Widicum. Macon. Good boy. Can you say Rob? Rob. Beckett. Rock. Beckett.

Good job, baby. Bex. Bex. He's a boy called Beck. Oh, Rex. Rex. Rexy. Rexy.

Hello, you sex, in relatable. And Josh. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. That's harsh. I like it. I like Bans. Do you know what was a funny at that

Mama Mia thing we did last week? They do a bit of crowd interaction and crowd work. They got this girl up and they said, what do you think of the sexy leading man in the show? What do you think of him? And the woman just looked up down and went, fit. Just fit, yeah. Just, yeah, I would just now.

Do you want to go now? Toilets now? Fit. Provis South London. Fit. And was he fit? It was pretty fit. Yeah, he was pretty fit. This is my 27-month-old son, Rex, 25 months at the time recording.

I do love how long it takes people to send a voice note. Yeah. I'm a long-time listener, first-time send it, and I've been waiting very impatiently to finally get him to say your names. And then he took two months to send it. Gobble, gobble, gobble. All procrastinators in that family. Exactly.

Lee, 341 months. What's that about 30? Do you know what you just forget? hard it is. Hours are a bit older now and they're in school, but when they're at that two years old or 17 months, just like, running around. And then you get a moment and you're like, I'm not going to fucking spend

this moment working out what the email address is for parenting hell by... The hosts can't even remember. Yeah. What is our email address, Josh? Admin at parenting hell.com. Was it hello at lockdown parenting.com. What is it, Michael? Yeah, that's right, Rob. It's still

lockdown parenting. Is it? Fucking hell, that's poor, isn't it? It's bad. That's bad all sides, isn't it, that, Mark? Hello as well. Our email address isn't even the name of the fucking show. What kind of like punk rock underground shit are we producing it? If that was acting on Stephen Barlett's show, it'd make five people redundant and faint.

Exactly. I don't think he would. That was a joke before he sues me. Necessary cuts, he'd say, in an email. No, he's just a very good businessman. I'd say I'm not a good businessman. Do we need a WhatsApp? Do you really listen?

You listen to a podcast now, they've got a WhatsApp, Rob. Who's a WhatsApp? No, no, no, we've got a WhatsApp. I mean, you're listening to a podcast, and they'll go, no, we haven't got a WhatsApp. Me, you and Michael, have got a WhatsApp group. Yeah, we've got one, but the listeners aren't in that, are they? No, no, no, no, otherwise we're going to get cancelled.

Jesus. Michael, if you ever open that up to everyone, let me know first, okay? I can remove some of my memes. No, so who's got a WhatsApp now? on the podcast. The Frank Skinner one I listen to, they've got a WhatsApp. The last leg's got a WhatsApp.

What, TV show has got a WhatsApp? Yeah. You just message things in on that? Yeah, you scan the QR code for people to message in during the show. Wow. It's got to be a better way. They can't scan a QR code in their ears,

can they on this? No, good point. Did you get a QR? Michael, can you get a QR code? Describe it? I didn't really no idea, yeah. Black, white, white, black, from top left. Well, yeah, we'll get a QR code.

We won't. No, okay, we won't. Do we need a WhatsApp, Michael? What for? I'm not looking at it. It's 2025. Why, do we? I mean, if I've got to manage that,

we're getting probably a thousand voice notes a day from people. I do think we need one other person working on this. Yeah. I just think it might help us all out. Do you know what I mean? Like, we're doing the emails. Ideally, as host. Do you know what we should get in?

Just some really bubbly that was all the talking and we could just chip in. You need G.K. Barry to have a kid and just let her talk, and then we'll just join in a bit. Oh, yeah, I like G.K. Barry. Oh, I tell you who I like. Go on. Who won a TikTok award? Sorry. Charlie Marlow. Oh, she's brilliant.

Yeah, she's great. Who else is? The new lot. Angry Ginge and H. They're going to be the next sort of bromance TV show. Well, there we go. After the jungle. Welcome to the jungle. Welcome to the jungle. How you been, Josh? We've got correspondence to do today, haven't we? Yeah, but I've been all right, actually, because, well, I think we can say,

we were meant to have a guest, Rob. We won't say who it was, but the guest pulled out. So it's just me and you. And the mailbag's bulging, even without the WhatsApp. So we thought we'd... Too right. It's not the only thing that's bulging. And I've just seen the first comment on correspondence, and it's annoyed me. Yeah?

Just an idea. What about if Lou dies Rob's back hair, black? And then get it lasered. Would that work? Fuck off, Caroline. Please try it anyway and send us a picture of your black hairy back. No. No, it's a yes, Caroline. We're going with that.

That's a good idea. The listener is always right. I need my back shaving, yeah. I shaved my chest. I think Lou's got it in her head now because you've been badgering her on. I think she could wax it. Look, I've got an airy back at this time. Last weekend I was at that sauna place in Margate and I was in there with strangers and they were women and I had to sit on the bottom step and I've got a completely smooth chest now.

But my hair on my back is still there and it looks like a conscious fashion style choice. But I've gone, I want to keep my hairy back. Oh, I'm ringing. Who's calling? Arise. What she wants? Answer it now. Come on.

Answer it live. I'm just recording the podcast. Yes. No. She can't talk too quickly. Where have I put the passports? Are they not in those little drawers? She's leaving you.

Why do you need them at this moment? I need the passports and five grand cash now. Oh, God. Have you tried the drawers in my desk? Sure. If she hasn't done that and phoned you first. My passport's in there. oh god when was the last time you went on holiday i'd check all the drawers in that room

sorry oh all right bye can't find the passports are you going anywhere no she needs to verify her identity oh yes that's coming around company directors need to verify their identity no she's watching some pornography Well, no, she's trying to. She's trying to. They've been logged out by the man. It's actually what she's searching. She's going to have to get to the Mamma Mia experience.

Oh, poor Rose. She's just trying to find passports you lost. I was wrong her husband. Before she knows it's now, you're telling a million people she's wanking. How is it my fault? Who had the passports last? Well, they just sit in that drawer Well, they're not in there now.

Well, no, but when did you last use them? Last holiday, presumably, yeah. She'll find them, it'll be all right. She'll find them, it'll be fine. No, she's right up against the wire. It's tomorrow the deadline. Yeah, it is. She's downloaded the app yet that you need to use it to do it.

I don't know. I didn't know you had to do it. I must have done it. It took me three days to do it. She'll be right. What was he talking about? Oh, my hairy back. Yeah, so I had to sit there with my hairy back out in the sauna because everything else had

been shaved. I think you should get it waxed. When? In Coventry, just go to fucking walk into a hairy. removal place when I'm on tour and just go can you wax my back please yeah I don't want that to be my life do you know what I've got a bit of a stiff neck and I was thinking of trying to find an osteopath in Newcastle I think they might be a little bit too physical for you a jewellery austipat then they might just be a little bit too like oh man's already off I might text

Ali and say, could you have a look to see if there's an osteopath? I think that's too much of a risk to just go off, like, walk down a high street and find an osteopath. You need to get a recommendation for an osteopath. Text someone from Newcastle. I tell you who knows, Chris Ramsey. He does a lot of MMA. He lives in Newcastle. I reckon he'll know an osteopath or know someone that knows an osteopath. No offense to Ali, but he's your tour manager who's from the Midlands. Do you... I've got a friend from Newcastle. I've got an osteopath in Newcastle. You could I can't

Philostopath for Josh Whitacom I'm texting my mates from Newcastle I couldn't look up at the top tier when I was doing Buxton Yeah I wouldn't I've seen your sales That is unfair

That was quick when I was still texting When I did that Texting it was nice It was a machine So you couldn't look up Your head won't go up Like a dog Can't look up like properly

Yeah Yeah Your neck's like the Muller I've got a bit Where I have to Act out someone Looking up and seeing Someone have sex in a tree

And I just couldn't do it I had to bend my body right back Oh, and then that ruins the bit because you're not looking normally. Yeah, it just felt weird. Yeah, because it's such a normal bit. It is quite a normal bit. What, people having sex in a tree? It's about...

Do you do a reference to Swampy and then realize how old you are? No, I don't, but maybe I should. I think it's still getting a laugh. It feels like my fucking wheelhouse, Rob. Sorry, have you been looking at my notes? But I'm surprised what Swampi's still up there. I'm going to put that in tonight. I'm not swampy.

I'm not swampy. No, it's about... I don't want to ruin it for the people that are going to come to the tour. All they're going to be doing is looking at your neck anyway. Yeah, exactly. It does look out for that sex at the tree bit, guys. That will be in tonight and tomorrow. Right, should we do some correspondence?

So it's a yes to the first one. Rob will be tying his hair black on his back. I'm not dyeing my hair black. No, it's not the colour of the hair. It's the type of hair. It's too thin hair. It's hard to burn off, I think, to the science. So you will be waxing it.

Well, I can't wax my... Look, if I could shave my back, I would do it, but I can't reach it. It's a country. So when are you next at home? Do you want the answers to that? Yeah. In about 13 days. Okay.

Do you know what I said the other day to Lou? I love you. No, no, I was talking about her. She wanted to meet up with some friends before something. And I went, well, why don't you, rather than booking a restaurant, everyone lives quite locally. Why don't you have everyone around at your house? Oh, God. I live with her.

It's my house. Our house. It's your house. I've been away so much. I'm referring to my home as Lou's house. I live there too, apparently. When do you get through this? basically the being away overnight thing stops

about the middle of December I've got a really busy next three, four weeks and then next year I've got some tour dates but they're mainly in London and Brighton and Woking and Eastbourne so I'm coming back and forward so that's fine this year I've done about 180 to 200 days in hotels

and it's fucking insane and it can't happen again it's been too much this year I've started referring to my own home as your house to Lou oh my God you can't live like that we both said this your kids only grow up once

100% but this year's been insane but I've put stuff in place for it to not happen as much it was just a combination of a lot of the filming work I did outside of the tour was a brawl. So with Robin Ramesh I've been to, I was with in India, Switzerland that's out on TV soon, that's out I think.

But Robin Ramesh versus Bromley is going to be. Robin Rommish versus getting his life back on track. Robin Rommis trying to reconnect with his wife. Can Robin Rommel run a successful business in the Bromley Glades? I saw rubbish his thing about his huge announcement

he's going to make a huge announcement what is it you're going to have a fucking day off but I can't say that joke because I'm working more than him yeah I know it's difficult for us to take the piss

I'm working 12 nights in a row and on Saturday I was on standby in case his plane was late for Radio 2 and the week before I did his radio 2 show how is your Newcastle hotel room

all right that's lovely Yeah. Let's do some correspondence. I've got a parent in hack slash tip. Should we do that? That's always good. Do you know what?

I'm not going to read. Because what I don't like to do is read along. You read to me. Yeah, don't read along. Should we read it together? Yeah, go in then. And three, two, one. Hi, guys.

Just listening to an old pod and Rob has mentioned the machine that helped with his daughter's spin to reality. This is terrible. Hi, guys. Just listening to an old pod and Rob has mentioned the machine that helped with his daughter's splinter recently. It made me realize I need to share a game changer of a hack for removing kids or adult splinters. What the fuck was that? That was a machine at centre parts. It was like a little tube that they put over the splinter and then they just sucked it out with a really

strong bit of air suction and it sucked out the splinter rather than digging it out of it like a needle or something. Make sure your child has had a shower or bath to make their skin soft and then grab a cowpole syringe. Oh. That every parent has at least. least five of surely put the syringe over the splinter and pull the syringe up the suction drags the splinter out right away with no pain that's fucking clever that is great that is great me and my husband were amazing relieved when it worked after our daughter got back from forest school one day with three splinters in a hand and we tried using tweezers traumatising both her and us with no success love the pod that hope this is helpful vicky that's great awful the next time their

daughter got ill and they injected a splinter down her throat by mistake. Yeah, make sure the cow-pull syringes cleaned before and after. Do not try this at home. We do not support this message. It's just a light-hearted banter. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's just a bit of content for you. Very clever.

And there are other syringes available. Neurofen. Neurophon. There's one other syringe available. Used. Boomer parenting. Hello, Rob, Josh and sexy Michael. Rob, talking about riding in the footwell of his dad's taxi got me thinking.

about this boomer story. I don't know where this is boomer because it's when I was 14 and in the early 2000s. Is that boomer? I don't know. It depends how old the parents are? Yeah. I was taking a trip to island to visit family with my mum. It was decided last minute that my best friend was coming with us. Instead of purchasing a boat ticket for my friend, my mom decided that she'd have to stay in the passenger footwell of the car covered in a blanket until the ferry had left the port and all checks had been done. No, you've got to sacrifice your own child. and not traumatised a friend in that situation or just buy an extra ticket or buy an extra ticket. I sat with my legs on the blanket pretending to be asleep whilst the furry staff checked our tickets.

Myself and my friend were terrified that we'd get caught, but my mum did not seem remotely phased that she was smuggling a human into another country. That's trafficking, isn't it? It is trafficking. Also, what about your passport? Then we had to do the same thing on the way home a week later. We still giggle about it now and off to wonder what would happen if we had been caught. Thanks for all the laughs.

You make my commute to work slightly more bearable nationally 384 months from Paul. First things first, my friend did that at Glastonbury. Smuggled in. He put his friend in the footwell under a blanket. Yeah. And the guy chatech in the car fell into the footwell. Yeah. And held the guy's head through the blanket and then carried on feeling as if he just didn't recognize it as a head.

Well, what did he think it was? I don't know. How bad is he at his job? But imagine having your head held and thinking that's game over. I'd hold the head and go, give me all the cash you've got in your wallet now. And no more's said. Because I'm confident that you haven't brought a coconut. You've brought one coconut.

You've hit under a blanket. That's mental. What was he just going through the motions, a bit of feet? Or did he think it would so? I don't know. And was it the front footwell or the back footwell? I don't know. Shall I ask?

Because how are you getting an adult in the front footwall? I just found the passports. Oh, thank God. Do you want to hit Chris? Framziza. What's he said? Hi, mate. I don't. I'm sorry. I randomly used the England first team physio for any of my issues.

Wow. My wife's mate's husband went to uni with him. Not even my celebrity collection. He's not based in Newcastle, he drives up from Hartlepool. Oh, that's a shame. Oh. Well, my friends text back said, I went text of the day, laughy face. Yeah.

But I see, yeah, whatever, mate. Any ideas? Help needed. Help needed. For his stiff neck. Can you go to a chiropractor, is it just osteopath that works for you? I probably could, I'm sure it would be fine. Have you ever tried a caropractor?

It's not so much bones as muscles. But then don't the bones being in the wrong position have an impact on muscles. Probably, I just need the muscles loosening. Caropractor and osteopath, it was a bit like rugby union rugby league. They're sort of playing the same game with different rules. And then where does

physio come in? Is that American football? For me, a physio is a generic term and they know a bit about everything and then they will refer you to someone in particular for a certain issue. Yeah. And physio good with rehab and stuff like that, after injuries. I'm just texting, Ali, I'm going for it. Your tour manager from the Midlands? What?

He won't know an osteopath. No, but I said, could you just have a look? Search it out. Does that fall under his remit? Gray area. Depends on your relationship. It's a grey area. Yeah.

I'd say the job of the tour manager is... To get the act ready for the show. Get the act ready to do the show. Get him to work. Text him now. Yeah. Ali, Daddy's got a sore neck. Make me better.

Can you ask him to rub it for you? As the act, I need to get ready for stage. Can you rub me? Because your job is to get me primed and ready for this gig and to give the people of Newcastle and Stockton the night of their life. I don't want to become a story. A story? Yeah.

The neck rubber. Who have you been working with recently? Josh Winneckham, what's he like? The first thing someone's going to say, he made me rub his neck in Newcastle. Don't question the method. Question the outcome. And if the outcome's a barnstorming stand innovation show in Stockton on Tuesday night and he's at to rub your neck for a bit, what's he in the game for?

Just money or the glory. If that's the outcome, Rob, then his neck rubbing is unbelievable. Oh, this is quite good crap advent calendars because we're coming into the festive season. Oh, yeah. I don't even remember asking about this. Do you? No. You're on your phone again, aren't you?

I'm asking about the foot well. All right. Hi, Josh, Rob and Michael. Big fan of the show and a long-time listener. I started listening before I had a baby and honestly think it helped me prepare for the realities of child rearing as much as you can be prepared

for the relentless, sleep-deprived horror of the newborn stage. The newborn stage, you wait for the rest. You do not get more sleep. Did I tell you what Daniel Sloss said to me? No. Did I mention it to? Because he's got two kids, Daniel Soss, comedian.

He does a lot of traveling. He should get him on. Definitely. He went, how old are your kids now? and I went seven and nine and I said, I'm so tired. And he said, still, in capitals. And he went, I thought tiredness stopped

when they went to school. Oh, no. Oh, no. Anyway, when you ask for shit advent calendars, examples, a memory resurfaced of my own and my friend's childhood advent calendars. My friend's mum didn't like her children to have anything processed or sugary.

So in our homemade advent calendar, hiding behind each door would be a single raisin. Oh, fuck off. That's so depressing. I think my sister and I actually had it worse. My church-going parents thought that Christ had been taken out of Christmas. I agree. And it'd become a commercialised chocolate.

Let's wait to hear about Easter. Now, every year we would get an Advent calendar where behind each. door there would be a tiny picture showing the story of the nativity no chocolate or raisin what's worse is my sister and i had to share one calendar so there was a daily argument about whose turn it was to open the sad little shit door to see the shit little picture of a shepherd yeah but that's a more regular one the picture one yes rose likes the picture one and has it for herself i think the picture one's quite a nice... Yeah, I think the raisin one's depressing.

Yeah, like, either do picture or nothing. Because raisins are so sugary. Nature's Maltesea. Michael, why are we discussing this? Do you remember? Someone sent us an email in where they'd got, like, a spice in every day of their advent calendar, so you did a shout out. Well, now this lady here who had the crupp religious one, needless to say, my daughter

will have a proper chocolate-filled loose-neck advent calendar. Thanks to keeping me saying, Abby, Tom, Cora. Dobby. Dobby's the cat. Did I tell you about the Tony's one we had one year? Tony's chocolate. You know Tony's chocolate only? Great chocolate.

Yeah. Harry Juddick fan sits in bed with a bowl of it. I do like it, but my mother and nor got one for my daughter. Mm-hmm. And on some days, it just wouldn't have any in to draw attention to... Oh, fair trade shit. Yeah, and you're like, look, my daughter's four, mate. Yep.

This has ruined the day. And Advent calendars is not a time for morals. Christmas is not a time for thinking about those worse off than you. No, it's about fucking gluttony and greed and then I'll spend the rest of the year trying to be nice. Just give me a couple of days for me. That's the spirit of Christmas. Yeah, there we go.

Now, we've got some more here. Shall I read one? Yeah, go for it. I'm going to go further down. Lies you've told to get a job. Hi, Rob, Josh and Sexy Michael. I lied and, oh, no. No.

Said I could speak Spanish when applying for a teaching job. That's mental. In Ibiza. That's wild. That is just too much. Like, as you say, you can ride horses on an acting CV, and then they surprise you on the day that there's a horse scene or something. But, like, the whole point of that is Spanish, isn't it, if you're going to Ibiza?

First day, I ordered a shoulder of dog sandwich in front of the kids. Absolute nightmare. Amy and Wiggins, still blacking it, but in the media this time. Isn't everyone, am I bloody right? Shoulder of dog So a shoulder of pork sandwich She was probably trying to get Yeah

So Perro's dog in it in Spanish What's pig in dog? I don't know Pig and dog What's pig in Spanish What is pig in dog Well probably this There's so many topics

I don't remember us mentioning Like simplest things you don't understand I'll give another Advent calendar one Because we need to get through these Before Christmas And then you can do another Thing we don't understand Hi Rob and Josh

Please keep this Anon, as I know, someone in my family listens. Oh, you fucking little weakling. Come on, own it. I'll slag all my family off in my shows. I hope this is so specific. It's obvious who's written in. When I was a kid, we had one of those fabric advent calendars

with pockets you could fill yourself. Most years, my mum put in chocolates. But one year, she decided to mix it up. Instead of chocolate, every pocket had a slip of paper with instructions. So just so you know, going anonymous is of no use because they're going to know who's talking about. straight away, just so you know. Yeah, how many little nerds have done this over their time, sure I mean?

Yeah. Instead of chocolate, every pocket had a slip of paper of instructions, things like, smile at someone today and see if they smile back. Oh, no. Or share your snack with someone at school. Oh, God, your crusts. And then there were more mortifying ones. Go into the garden and shout, I love my family.

Oh, God, oh, God. Or I love God. Oh. Try doing that as a self-conscious teenager, utter hell. They've got anonymous, who the fuck's written I Love God in an Advent calendar? Too right, it should be every day. You don't need to write that in an Advent calendar.

I shall there in the garden every day. Meanwhile, I know someone whose parents split a Lego kit across 24 days, one piece at a time, with instructions on Christmas Eve. They loved it. Me, I think I'd prefer chocolate and their Lego as an actual present. Fair enough, each of their own.

Well, did I tell you about the one we? I'm sure I said about the one we had last year. that was brilliant, and this is the right time to go out and buy one. Go on. We had chocolate one, obviously. But also, we had a jigsaw one, so you'd get a different section of the jigsaw each day, and you'd add to it to create a lovely Christmas scene. Oh, that's great.

We bought that. We hadn't created it ourselves, just to be clear. That's nice. It was nice. Anyway, the simplest things you don't understand. I've no memory of discussing this. After listening to you talk about how you don't understand how simple things work, and the first only example you could give was a plane, I can't believe we talk this is us

I thought I'd chip in because as a new graduate at work in my first 9 to 5 job in office I've come to realise I don't understand how you press a button on a laptop the letter A for example and an A appears on screen

so they don't understand how a laptop works well I don't understand how if you press that button yeah why that makes that happen on the screen well it's a circuit board. Well, no, I think it's programming, isn't it? Where they programmed that this thing you plug in,

if you tap that, that'll make an A come up. Yeah, I mean, I don't understand any of that. But that's not simple. That's really difficult. Because that's saying, how does a computer work? Yes. I don't know any of that. Do you know how anything works, really electrical? I tell you what, I really don't know. I don't know if you mention it, but how a vinyl works, this little needle on a bit that blows my mind. How come that can make noise? And also, if you haven't got it plugged in speakers, because you can hear it saying it quietly from the vinyl. Yeah, I don't. I simply don't understand how vinyl works.

And are these sort of discovered by accident or if someone's set out to make that happen? How the fuck have they worked that out? Was that Alexander Graham Bell? No, that's the phone. What's a grammar phone? Who invented the grammar phone? Emil Berliner.

That's more impressive than a CD to me because a CD is just electrical stuff that I don't understand. But to do it practically. And how do you print it? it how do you record it what print what how do you make the record so that it's got the sound stored in it we need a tv show how to i'm willing to bring back how to but the problem is i think did you used to watch how do they do that rob no oh that was that was this i think they would

explain it to us and we'd look at them and go yeah okay yep and then we'd walk out and you know you do the wrap-up bit yeah well i think we'd both go i don't still don't know what how that works so they used to be a show called how do they do that and it was hosted by des linem and various other people. How did he get into football? Did he do that after football? We have had this exact conversation. Have we?

Yeah, including the Desline of how did he get into that show bit. I'm going to get so much shit. People are going, why does Michael leave this stuff in? They've already discussed it. How have we discussed this? On the same topic? Yeah. I had my team that I was going to fly.

But when Rob went, how did Desline and get on to that? I was like, I've got to stop this. It was a glitch in the. I've no memory of that. I've no memory of why we've like, was this why this email happened as well? Yeah, it might have been off the back of the first one of these emails. We might have had...

Well, if BBC aren't going to come and offer us this show, then we're just going to keep mentioning it. He's still alive. What does? Got a kid. Yeah, yeah. Get him on. We'll ask him. Full circle of life. Sorry, Michael. Just waiting for Josh to talk about the female co-host. Estimate Valle?

Yeah, I remember that now. Was it Estimate Vow? I can't remember, but I didn't recognise it. was thinking of that other show. Is it how-to? How-to, yeah, with Carol Vorderman. Fucking hell. Do you remember it, Rob?

No. This conversation. The only thing that quit was Estimate Way. Yeah, it was Estimate Vay. Tory MP. Right, let's talk about something else. Who's Jenny Hull? She did the first series.

I think you've said that before. Yeah. I still don't know she is. Estimate Vey. Estimate Vey, Rob, is the one that worked with Lorraine Kelly. Do you remember that clip of Lorraine Kelly? No, what clip with Lorraine Kelly? So Esther McVeigh went on to be a right-wing Tory MP

in the like the Boris Johnson government. She looks too young to have done how to. No, she did, how do they do that? Oh, sorry. And then she was on Good Morning Britain. Yeah. And they did the cross to Lorraine Kelly. Yeah.

And they said, you used to work with Esther, didn't you, Lorraine? And Lorraine went, yep. That's amazing She's so funny, Lorraine It's a great clip I'd highly recommend it That's such a good response If you don't like someone

About actually saying it And it Yeah Because she can't go Yeah, because obviously she's a politician They've got to be like impartial or whatever Yep

Yeah just look Yeah she was on a Good Morning Britain stuff Whatever it's called TV AM or whatever Watch the clip Rob Why not? Right now Go on play it in

Play it in Have we done this before Michael We'll just check before I do it. No, I don't think we've done this. Although we might have discussed it with Lorraine when we had her as a guest. No, it was after that. We did Lorraine quite early.

Do you remember Esther Lové from her GMTV days? Yeah. Yes, I do. Okay, coming up after half past, Queen's filming in a lot of the week. Go on Lorraine. Go on Lorraine. She don't fuck about Lorraine.

Yes, yes, I do. Does she? Own show named after her. No one else has got that. Hi, Rob and Josh. On the topic of kids' names, I'm a primary school teacher. In my previous school, I taught at, there was a child called Harrison Ford.

When Little Harrison was first introduced to teachers, this is amazing. The preschool teacher said, ah, like the Harrison Ford, to which the mum replied, who? No. The confused teacher didn't know

whether this was a joke or not and tried to say as politely as possible. You know, Harrison Ford the actor. The mom stared. at her, very confused and said, never heard of him. If the mum's young, say the mum's in her 20s, would you have heard of him really? Exactly.

What's he done recently? No, exactly. I mean, they're like the Indiana Jones comeback films could easily bypass you. They're the kind of things that you'd watch in a Coventry Layby or whatever. And they've not really aged well, Indiana Joe. They're not on much, are they?

I don't know, like, you don't see them on the telly a lot, do you? No, exactly. Thank you for all the laughs. I've been listening since the beginning of lockdown days and saw Rob this year in Manchester, which was a great night, and also have tickets to see Josh and Solford. next year. Keep it sexy and relatable. Becky, 372 months from Manchester.

There we go. That is incredible to not know Harrison Ford. I searched my kids' names on Google before I named them. Did you? Just to double check. There's nothing like horrendous out there or like problematic or... Yes. There's nothing. Hi, Rob, Joshua Michael. You asked about nightmare names and thought I'd get in touch. Not sure what my parents were thinking when they called me Billy Hunt. You can imagine the nicknames. So he was called Billy Hunt?

I don't understand that. I don't know because obviously Hunt sounds a bit like seeing an excuse. That's not the parent's fault. Well, no, because that is just a surname. But then Billy's not going to make that worse, is it? No, I don't understand. Willie, Willie?

Am I Britain's thick as Matt? Well, you're not good at comedy anymore? Not only that, but my middle name is James. So my initials are BJH. What? BJ, blowjob. Yeah, I get that, but would it be Blowjob Hunt? Is that the...

A blowjob? Hunt. No, but then it's not blow, it's just B. Sorry, what's his name? Billy Hunt. Billy James Hunt. I don't think it's that bad. Well, I don't understand what's happened. I wouldn't call that a nightmare name.

I just call that a, you know, tricky name. But I don't understand why Billy Hunt's bad. Brilliant. Brilliant. It can't be brilliant. Well, no, but why is Billy Hunt any worse than like Sharon Hunt? I don't know. I don't say Sharon Hunt's worse for a boy

than Billy Hunt. Well, yeah, obviously. Billy Hunt. Is it an accent? Where's he from? You can't be that it's a bit like brilliant. What's he fucking losing? Your name's a bit like brilliant. What's his surname?

What's he from? What's he from? Where's he from? Because it might be an accent thing. No, we don't know where he's from. Right, okay. So, Michael, help. I'm just Googling in case there's some kind of like street slang that I'm not aware of,

but I can't find. I can just find people called Billy Hunt with no issues. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. You asked about names and I thought I'd get in touch. I haven't even finished this yet, Rob, by the way. There's more. Okay, sorry, really quickly, I've got it. So it's an Australian phrase referring to silly shit.

Oh, I suppose it must be from Australia. You Billy Hunt. Oh. First of all, well done, Michael. Second of all, Billy Hunt, live and up. Give us a bit of fucking context, you silly ****. And also, apparently, it might be Cockney rhyming slang as well,

although I've never heard that. And Courtney rhyming slang for Billy Hunt. We found out something new. Billy Hunt. A stupid person with Australian. Cricketer. Billy Hunt was an Australian cricketer and it's become a...

I thought it was named us this but it says a convicts named Billy Hunt tried to escape Paul Arthur Prison by disguising himself as a kangaroo. That's incredible.

No, that's bollocks. That's got to be bollets. That's got to be bollets. Maybe it's got to be wrong and saying, I don't know but I've not heard that before. Billy Hunt. Yeah.

Let me give you. You've done a couple. Don't we to do? Yeah, hit me, hit me, hit me. First week of uni fails. That's what he asked for, isn't it? No, but here we go.

Yeah, we did all going back to uni. I feel like I'm having a mental breakdown today. It's like we've been sent the post back for a podcast I've never listened to. Well, that's true. We haven't. No, to be fair. Kia ora, Rob, Josh and Sexy Michael. New Zealand.

Yeah. It's spelled like Wakatane, but it's pronounced Fakatane. Fakatane. Fakatane. Following your request for embarrassing uni student stories, I thought I would email to tell you mine. When I went to uni at 18, my cooking experience was zero, not even bored an egg

but ever the trier and not deterred by my serious lack of skill I one day decided to cook myself some pasta I went I went and got

sorry in went the pasta we're doing a bad job today it's right you can snip it up in went the pasta in the saucepan and I was proud

that I'd managed to turn the hob on two men who've never finished an email before just us going what sorry what's this saying Billy Ann

Billiard, what's going on? Sorry. So, pasta's in the saucepan, turned on the hob, and 10 minutes later, my poor uni mate came in wondering what the burning smell was. What are you doing? She asked me, a concerned voice. Making dinner, I replied. Yeah, you need to put the water in the saucepan for it to cook.

You're trying to burn down the building. I was trying to cook pasta dry. That is mental. That is wild. I still hate cooking, but most of you remember the water these days. That is. So you just dry a pasta in a bowl. How do you think that's going to work?

Like, isn't there enough? Even if you've never cooked, isn't there just enough shows in which people are cooking on television? Yeah, I genuinely think, no offence, Ria, but this is really simple. If I said to my seven-year-old, make pasta, she would get a saucepan and fill it up with water. Yeah. At seven years of age and they do no cooking. That is just...

That is wild. This is a good topic. She said, oh, I've been listening to the pod for years, love the relatable stories, which make me laugh out loud when I'm cleaning up my messy house thanks to my two smelly pre-pubescent boys. The episodes are really good for my mental health too as I'm a counsellor. As you can imagine, I hear a lot of sad stuff in my day-to-day job.

I think it's so important to hear other people in struggling sometimes to remind you you're not alone in this journey. A bit offensive, but fair enough. No offence, Ria though, but imagine your counsellor, not knowing how to cook pasta. Too right. You're going there.

What's that smell? You've got the bus all the way to Fookatanae to chat to Ria. Is she a dry pasta cooker? This isn't as stupid. But I have done it where I haven't put water in by mistake. What are those coffee things where there's like two chambers? There's the one at the bottom and then it bubbles into the top. Percolator.

Is that what it's called? So you have the bottom bit with the water in and you put it on the hob. Yeah. And then it kind of... Hipsters use that, doesn't it? Bubbles up through the coffee. Yeah, I mean, I had it 20 years ago. What about the old pump one?

That one. plunger. That one's called a fucking out. Coffee. Fucking out. This isn't good enough. What's that called, Michael?

A French press. A French press. What's called in America? There's another word for, isn't it? No, it's called a distiller or something, but it's not called that. Some of the worst postcast thing we've ever done, and it's a low fucking bar. fucking out what's it called

I'm going to leave really long pregnant pausing and so people know it's just how long I'm going to keep talking I'm going to keep talking what is a French press called in the UK

Kaffer T-S it's a French word how does that work A caffa T-S Because the Americans can't use French Oh love it A catheteria.

University Fowl. I got enough on here, Josh. Ali might have booked me an osteopath for midday. Perfect. I went to a art college in London in the 80s from my home in rural Wales. Picture it. No internet, no mobile phones.

No email, no streaming. No downloads, no Netflix. Back then, on demand, went running to Woolworths before it closed. Here we go. I lived in uni halls, crammed into a flat with six of us. For the big London move, I loaded everything into my Fiat 127.

I don't even know what that car is. No, it sounds small, though. For my entertainment, I had raided my parents' VHS collection, John Wayne Weston's Dolly Parton concerts, and one rare signed Tina Turner tape. That's quite a good bit of merch, yeah? But by the end of my... I'd buy that.

But by the end of my first term, my Fiat died gone. The problem was we had to clear our student flats over Christmas. Most had families bringing cars to collect them and their stuff. But my fine art flatmates, they were doubling up on a Vespa, two grown men and their luggage. How? Simple. They stuffed everything they owned into black bin bags and buried them behind the uni halls.

No. That is incredible. So they buried all their stuff to then when they come back after Christmas, dig it up. Fucking how. Genius. Student logic, when in doubt, bury it. So I joined in. Did it work?

Well, there we find out. Sorry. It's called uni fails, so I can't imagine. It does. You're listening to Parent and Hell with Rob Beckett and Billy Hunt. So I joined in, dug a hole. harder than you think when you don't have a shovel handy and buried my worldly possessions, mostly VHS tapes.

Not the Tina Turner tape. Put that in your pocket, that'll fit. Marks for a little pile of stones, perfect plan. Then I got home for Christmas and my dad went into a panic. Where's my signed Tina Turner video? Oh no. Oh, it's gone from a cassette to a video. The rare one, the precious one.

Oh, no. He's panicking. He's upset. And I couldn't say, oh, Tina Turner. Yeah, well, I buried her six feet under in a bin bag next to some chicken skeleton jewelry. Oh no. Chicken skeleton jewelry. January comes. I'm buzzing to get back. I take a taxi from the tube station, walk up to my uni halls and freeze. Sorry, can I just ask, why do they have to take their stuff out of their halls? What's going on? I think in some

uni halls, you can pay to have it over Christmas a new year or you don't. And if you don't, you take all your stuff out. Because I think some towns and cities used to rent that out to travelers. Oh, yeah. Also, as well, they've done it over winter. So it's going to be hard the ground, isn't it? You know what I mean? Yeah, fucking hell.

Frozen ground. January comes. I'm buzzing to get back. I take a taxi from the train station, walk up to my uni halls, and I freeze. Oh no.

I stop him dead in my feet and see that they've only built a brand new car park. Oh, wow. That is the greatest thing. That is wild. Fresh tarmac white lines. Oh my God.

That is fucking. incredible and there's no, that's just game over. Yep, somewhere underneath the new car park, Tina Turner, entombed along with Dolly and John Wayne. You're like Rich the third under that car park in Leicester. So my dad never got Tina back and one day in the far future archaeologists are going to dig up that art college car park

and wonder why. Why bury Dolly Part and Tina Turner and John Wayne together in a black bin bag? Oh my God. And if I'm still alive, I'll say because, mate, it was the 80s. That is incredible. Sarah Bridgeend, Gen X. Wow, what an email. Gen X.

I was really about Gen X recently. Sorry, did I just say that out loud? Yeah, yeah, go on. What was happening? I was reading a book. At least we know it would be new content and not Des Lionelan's back catalogue. Fucking hell. Fucking hell.

I genuinely think I might need to go and get my head checked after this episode. I think we both need to not be as busy with work. and we need to resolve some sort of cyclical... We need to resolve some sort of cyclological issues involving the panic of not working and earning due to something in our childhood. It's a curse of freelance. I think a lot of freelance people have this.

Michael's got it as well. Michael's got it as well. Don't drink him in. He's not bringing up Deslinem. He's the one stopping up. When you're freelance, it's almost impossible to not think, the work is going to disappear tomorrow. Yes. And when you've come from not much money or no

money, you are scared of that happening again. So you're in constant fear of... And you do think in our job, when my daughter is 20, and it's fucking difficult enough to get on the property ladder now in 2025, let alone 2040. You're trying to protect and provide for your children. And she's like, come on, mate, you could have gone to Stockton. It would have really helped me. Or she's going, I just want to connect with you as a person. You haven't got the option now because no one cares about you anymore. You can't go to Stockton because they don't want to come and see you. You should have taken the opportunity while you could.

You got sacked from last leg for touching people. Exactly. Or something like that. Exactly. Well, not quite that, yeah. Well, when's your tour end? Probably about this time next year. Okay, that's a problem.

No, the truth is, Rob. What's the truth? Give me the truth. Come on. This is the... I'm sick of your lies. Give me the truth. This is the toughest bit.

Yeah. This is the bit that's back to back. Yeah, we've not said that before. Michael's going to chip in in a minute. Yeah, you've had this conversation. Every year for the last five years around this time of the year, we've worked too much again. Before Christmas is always mental. Yeah, as opposed to that really chilled year you've had already.

Yeah, I know. I've got January off. I'm trying. That was so real. That was so real. At this point, I could have made this episode from old sound bites from previous episodes. You guys didn't need to be here. I tried to move the topic on.

What was I trying to move the topic on to? Something good. I can't remember. It sounded new. Gen X that you read about Gen X. Oh, yeah. It was boring. What did it say about them?

I was just reading about Gen X in America and it felt like it didn't really happen over here in the same way. That's all I thought. Like what kind of thing? All that slacker thing and Nirvana and like people not being interested and stuff. It wasn't what it was like over here in the 90s. Well, everyone was on pills and coke, weren't they? Yeah. It was a bit more free love.

Flying solo as a child. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. In the early 90s, my dad moved to Cyprus when I was nine, and my brother was 11. We used to visit every Easter and summer holiday. For the first few years, we'd go as unaccompanied minors, where BA would look after us at the airport and on the flight. So we got used to this.

and by the ages of 13 and 15 we told my dad we didn't need to go and accompany it anymore could make our own way around the airport and to the plane my mum used to drop us off

at the entrance to Heathrow we'd navigate our way through the airport being children of a certain age we used to have a sneaky cigarette behind our parents back so imagine our delight where we're able to go

to the checking desk and ask for seats in the smoking area and get them how old are they 13 and 15? Yeah that must have looked so mad to other passages on the plane that we young teenagers were just sitting

on the flight smoking. No one said a thing. As if it's not going to float to the front of the plane. I know. Where was it? Was it at the back or the front? At the back, but it's like, as if it's just only going to stay there. By dint of there being a smoking section,

there is a line where that stops, where you are basically in the smoking section. If you're the first line of non-smoking, you're in the smoking section. Yeah. in smoking is so disgusting and pathetic and I can't believe people still do it. On the way home my brother and his call

would buy loads of cigarettes from duty-free so that he could sell them to his mates at school. It was a different time. Stay sexually and relatable, Jane, aged 532 months, no longer a smoker. Yeah, good on you. Because I see people, and it's terrible because obviously it is an addiction

and people just can't stop and it's part of like they're coping to have a cigarette in the morning. But I see people on the school run where they're head out of the window, smoking a fag. And I'm like, well, Jesus Christ. Did you ever smoke? Never. I could never, and this is from me, I could never get addicted to it, however hard I tried.

I think we've both got fairly weak lungs and it just doesn't, it hurts too much. Whenever I had a cigarette, I just felt so lightheaded. I couldn't believe people could handle it. It would just hit me so hard. I didn't feel any good thing about it. When I did it, I just made me cough and hurt my throat. There was no point where I was like, this is enjoyable and I can see why other people would get into it. We've like, drink.

and drugs and stuff. Yeah. There's almost some more of it. But it was smoking. I was like, there was nothing happening here. No, it wasn't for me. And I'm lucky in that sense.

No, so few people smoke these days. Like when the smoking ban came in, I used to get left in the pub with the coats because I was the only non-smoker. And everyone would go outside and smoke. You just sit there with all the coats. I just sit there on my own with the coats. Looking at your lap, thinking of new routines.

I didn't even have the internet on my phone at that point. So just with my thoughts. We know that's not good. place for you. That's a bad. Another six points, please. This is good. No one's here. I can have three points while they're away getting your confidence up. Yeah. Oh dear, right. Small business. Small business. Can you get a show out of that, Michael? I think it's one of the best ones we've ever done. I love your positivity.

It's the best of. But alive. We're doing the hits. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. Hope you're all well. That's the one I was going to read. the first one. That's how lazy we are today. I'd massively appreciate if you could give my husband small retail business a shout out please. Trying to manage a three-year-old, a baby and setting up a small warehouse has been intense to say the least.

So thank you for keeping my spirits up with the weekly laughs and relatable chaos. Loaded dice is an online shop specialising in creative hobby products and family games. We have Hay Clay and UG, E-U-G-Y, model kits to spark kids' imaginations without the mess. Board game to families, couples and

parties as well as all the new Pokemon trading card and Warhammer releases. We have a shop in Barry, South Wales and offer gift wrapping and next day shipping throughout the UK. We'd love to offer Parent and Hell listeners a 10% discount code with gobble, gobble 10 in capitals. The website is loaded dice.com. Loaded dice underscore UK for Instagram and TikTok is loaded dice TikTok. Thank you so much and all the best, Amy. Loaded dice. I don't I don't know what Eugene that clay stuff is, though. What's that? Are you heard of that? Sorry, I was organised my house geopath.

Okay. Hey, Clay. Oh, hey, Clay, yeah. So it's sort of like... Yeah. Clay, you can make that... Oh, you can make that far of Christmas and a pen. That's good.

Do you know what? We went to watch someone. We went to the House of Marbles, Rob. We went up to the Moor. You bloody lost them, you mate. Hey, here we go. Come bloody find them in the House of Marbles. I watched someone blowing them, like making their own gold...

A gold glass of... Oh, who cares. I'm too tired. Go on, mate. I've got you. It was like they had a lesson where they were making marbles and I was watching it and it was one of the most... You've really spoke about this.

Oh. No, I'm joking. You haven't. Jesus, I believed you. So someone was making their own marbles. Like blowing glass, you know, like when you blow glass. Right, okay. And what is the house of marbles?

The house of marbles is a place that we went to on the way back from a walk on Dartmoor and it's like a gift shop full of marbles. with marble runs that you can watch and it's basically... And you're trying to suggest there isn't a slower pace of life in the countryside. Those marbles are going to breathe.

You've gone to a house with just some marbles rolling about in Dartmo. Just really quickly, Rob's face, as you were describing, the house of marbles, was like when a baby's been fed something it doesn't like. What was going to be was

a walk on Dartmouth and you popped in the house of marbles. We had a cream tea? I love it, Rob. It's absolutely the happiest place on earth. The House of Marbles. We'll big up the House of Marbles. They're not a small business.

They're absolutely massive. If you buy anything marble-related. Are they? Yeah. You go to Hamleys. They stock a load of their products, Rob. You walk on Dartmoor, then you walk past... No, we didn't walk past it.

We were driving back. You drove there. What, the House of Marbles? No, we drove past it, and then we were like, let's go in. Right, fair enough. You love all that little twee stuff, didn't you? Yeah, I'm a classic English eccentric, Rob. Did you buy any marbles?

Yeah, I love him. You've got your own marbles? Oh, no, not for myself. Oh, no, yeah, absolutely not. For your children. Well, I'll give House of Marbles a look next time. Do, you're never going to make it down this time. I'll go and watch you film in Avonandoes again.

Yeah, exactly. Hello, I would love a small business show of for my sister Leone or Leone. She is an avid listener with two children at age three and four. Close. She's been putting the business. She started in 2013 on the back burner until her kids start school. which will happen this September. And I'm sure a shout-out would give her a great boost.

I imagine this was sent before September. She creates gorgeous wedding invitations and stationary, table plans, order of service, save the dates, etc. She designs and makes all the items herself by hand to ensure great love and care goes into each and every one of them. All of her items can be personalized and adapted to suit the wedding. She's an amazing mom and a lovely sister. Etsy shop from Leonie.

or Leone L-E-O-N-I with love from Leone with Love Many thanks, Sean 518 months old mother of two feral preteens I've just sent you a photo

of marble making I can see why it was really exciting Here we go Also I found you a physio and a osteopath in Newcastle Oh I've got one I've got a midday appointment Who with?

What's it called? I don't know Ali's organised it And I trust him implicitly Well I've got a recommendation from someone that lives in Newcastle and he said here's a really good physio and here is a physio

is probably the best in the North East sees all the top athletes Well I can't cancel now Can I just go and see your high street one and Ali's found Yeah I will actually As opposed to a personalised recommendation for the best physio in the North East

So you're saying Ali's not good at his job I'm saying that he is not as well connected In the North East as a friend of mine He might be He's not He might be This is a direct recommendation for Mike Ashley The least popular man in the North East

But boy, he's connected From the fringe of the Saudi royal family Or whatever it is You've got to go to the staff room Of the House of Frasier I've sent them to if you need them Right Josh, I'll see you next link Michael, apologies in advance

But you're pretty good with the fingers I'd put that out unedited if I was you Bye Thank you.