Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S11 EP32: Advent Calendar Error

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... In this episode we get through some more of your listener correspondence inclusing... - Boarding School Stories - Advent Calendar Fails - First week at Uni issues And some more boomer parenting madness. If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Canadian Tire's Black Friday sale. With the lowest prices of the year. Hello, can we go? Limbo again. Shop the Black Friday sale at Canadian Tire and save up to 60%. November 27th to December 7th. Conditions apply, details online. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.

And I'm Josh Whitickham. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you, better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting. Each week, you'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.

And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and, of course, tales of parenting, woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Oh, Gag. Hey, hi, hi, there. Can you say, Rob Beckett? What beck is? And can you say Josh Whittiken?

John Whittenden? Very was-a-up, wasn't it? Was it Harper? Was that Harper 7? Is her name Harper 7 the Beckham's Harper? I think it is. That's better, isn't it? Is 7 a middle name?

Well, he started calling a Harper Ziggasigar. Yeah. Which is something from their career. Oh. Harper, tell me what you want. What you're really, really want? So I'd never realised why it was 7. Yeah.

Because that was his number. Yeah, it's like calling your kid like Josh Jr., hashtag, Is It Okay, Whittaker? Oh, come on, that is mad. I tell you what, I think since the Royals have calmed down a bit, now that Andrew's gone and Harry's gone. It's only been two weeks. Yeah, I know, but, I mean, though, there's not much drama at the moment for the papers, is there? It's like the Andrew thing's always sort of ongoing, but he's left now, so you can't really go at the Royals as much. And then Harry and Megan have sort of gone, and they're just boring.

getting on with it. Yeah. They still do articles, but there's no actual thing happening. Yeah. It almost feels like the beckhams are the new royals where now the kids are growing up. I've got an interesting parenting question for you, Rob.

Yeah, go on. Because we can't even identify with this, right? Yeah. Even though we are, not to be naff, we are famous, right? Yes. But our kids exist. It's mental for us to say we wasn't at this stage.

Exactly. But some people too do that, don't it? It would be insane. Yeah, well, you know, you could sound famous. Well, I've done a bit of ten. It's amazing, but people may notice who I am. Awkwardly curled up with cringing, but I think the situation of the Beckham's children is utterly fascinating. And I've been thinking about this this week because I saw a video on,

I'd follow both Beckham's. I don't know which one it was. Well, were they doing Keepy up, please, or miming? But it was of Cruise play. a gig. Now, Cruz is the front man of a indie band that sound like something that would be played on XFM. Yeah. Sorry, Radio X. That's not a like a qualitative, that's just the genre. Kind of music, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I watched this and my initial thought was, I think it's a huge disadvantage for him to be Cruz Beckham in that kind of role. I think if it was a pop star or an

actor or something. But I don't think the kind of people that want to like that kind of band are going to want it to be fronted by Cruz Beckham. Actually, while I wouldn't have heard of them at all if he wasn't Cruz Beckett. I couldn't work out. Do you think it's an advantage or a disadvantage? Yeah, again, I'm fascinated by him because they are so famous to Beckham's worldwide. Yeah. And their kids are so famous. Yeah. And a lot of what he's presented on Instagram from David and Victoria Beckham, they're very much from that era where everything's sort of PR controlled. And I never really feel like I'm getting like the real David Becker when he wakes up in the morning. It'll be like, no, it's not him going having a fucking nightmare because we've

run out of butter. No, it'll be like, oh, here's a video of David, but like look in immaculate and pajamas and everything's perfect. So now that like this is rift and it must be horrible, because if it's, I don't know what's going on, but it seems as if Brooklyn and Beckham doesn't have much to do with his parents anymore. Yeah. That's what I've read. I don't know if it's true or not. But that rift to happen to any family is horrible. But then to have that in the press, because every time anything happens, like, if, for example, you had friends and their adult child didn't get on with them and it was like a christening and you was at it, you might go to Rose, it's a shame that they're not here, isn't it? That they're not getting on anymore with the family. But then imagine it would be all over the mail, like Brooklyn snubs and even just us talking about it now. Yeah. And we're not, I wouldn't describe me and you as we'd very rarely talk about celebrity stuff. We're not hunting down a tabloid clickbait chat. So I'm like, oh my God, the pressure. And then whatever Brooklyn does, he gets grief for it.

Like he tried to be a shareful photography. And even if he was amazing at it, no one takes him seriously. Yeah, exactly. No one takes him seriously. And I get, you know, world's smallest violin, of course, because the advantages are huge. Yeah, of course. But like, he's weird, isn't it?

Because you go, I don't even know whether you could just go, well, I'm going to become an accountant. Well, like, for me, the best thing about, Look, because being famous is a double-edged sword where it's definitely, I think, more favourable to have it than not, even though there's disadvantages, 100%. The double edge is certainly sharper on the – I don't know how to continue the analogy, but you understand why me. A million percent, and obviously, and that comes with money and opportunity celebrity. That's what it brings you most of the time. And I would say the way we have it is incredibly positive.

Yeah, I totally agree. but for Brooklyn and Cruz Beckham that's a different thing yeah but they've grown up the best thing about getting money is when you never had it in the start yeah yeah that's the best thing and the best thing about having an opportunity

is when you didn't have an opportunity but when you've grown up with unlimited funds unlimited opportunity unlimited access well what's the fun bit of life yeah what's the I've achieved something or that because you know you can earn a bit of money but like I got a way bigger buzz you know walking out on stage to do live at the Apollo

something I dreamed of doing as a kid than I did when I saw the money from love of the Apollo going my bank. Yeah. Do you what I mean? Exactly. And I suppose that is why you get so many of these kids of celebrities

that have substance abuse problems or feel very rudderless because it's very difficult to find meaning. It's very difficult to find a reason to kind of exist. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. We have meaning because of what, obviously because of our families. But if we were doing nothing,

with our days or didn't need to do anything with our days. Yeah. Will you crave that when you are driving to Stockton? Yeah. But the reality is within a week, you'd go, I need something to drive me. But imagine if whatever you did, someone said to you, oh, you're only good at that or get that because of your dad anyway. Yeah, exactly.

Say David Beckham's sons and daughters play football, right? They played top-level football. They would get told you only got those opportunities because David Nervon in the industry. and even if they were like brilliant of football they'd go oh well they're just lucky because they've got his jeans yeah but I do think in football at least I think football is the easiest one because it is meritocratic

if someone scores a good goal if you are Erling Harland's a bad example because he's much better than his dad but if you're like that's the answer in it just be better in your parents or something because I forgot he was dad was a footballer until you said it just then

and Eddie Hearns done it well Eddie Hearns the son of Barry Hearn He's sort of done it in his own way And I suppose there is people There's like Stella McCartney Or there's like Stella McCartney is a really good example I'm struggling to come up

Oh, there's as good a one as that But like You're not going to get better in a beetle No matter what you do No exactly And what she's done obviously Is it why that's easier Well Stella McCartney wasn't famous

Before the difference Between the Beckham's kids Yeah And Eddie Hearn or Erling Harland or Stella McCartney is Stella McCartney no one knew who she was She decided to put herself

She decided to put herself But the Beckham's kids are We know the fucking Harper's middle name Well yeah And they've had no choice about it From birth really Because they were always in the papers Exactly

So there's this whole generation now coming through And even like the people on Tawi You know the Billy and Sam Fares I think they've stopped doing it now Because their kids were getting older But then like Their children will become Child Stars of their television series

Yeah. But then when they get to 18, they're already become, oh, you're just famous for being on that show. But then they've decided they've not had a choice in being on that show because they were eight or five and they would just put on it. So it's like, well, I think it would be blind of us not to say that we are slightly on the verge of this. And we're having to make decisions like this. Well, that's why I've never put any pictures of them out or ever said their names. Yeah. So that then they get a choice.

and I try and make sure that I'm doing my best to talk about my experience as a dad. That's exactly, yeah. Look what my kids have done. Because it'd be really easy just to film them and put it on Instagram. Yeah, yeah. So much easier than me having to do anything. That's the decision I'm trying to. And it's hard, and also in the Beckham's defence, like back in the,

how would you ever know that it would grow to this kind of Instagram world? Well, I was once on Bond Street, when would this have been? how old's Harper now? She's... 15, something like that, is it? Yes, this would have been about 13 years ago. And Victoria Beckham walked past, but I didn't recognise her because of Victoria Beckham.

I saw the back of her head and Harper's face, and I recognised Harper as a two-year-old because I'm not even that into celebrity, but I'd seen that face so many times. And they grew up in the absolute era of tabloid. Yes. And they were the most famous people, beyond Robin Williams.

They were the most famous people. But they've maintained it for the last 20, 30 years. It was slightly the era. They were always doomed in that era. Whereas now, if Taylor Swift and what's his name have a kid. Travis Kelsey. Yeah, Travis Kelsey. I don't think that kid necessarily has to be famous.

Because you're much more in charge of your own. Well, she will be. But then you can manage it if you... Yes. But at that level, maybe you can't. Because, you know, it's easier for... us because we're not that level of fame. You don't know who Simon Cowell's kid is.

You don't know who. Yeah, you do. Eric. All right, fine. Give me some more. Do you know Robbie Williams' kids? No. No, you don't. I know he's got kids.

How much do you know about Apple Martin? Nothing. I know that he's got a daughter called Apple. Yeah. I just think my way of thing is let the kids decide when they go on it. The other thing about the Beckham's as opposed to is they were both famous so it's not even like you go i don't know simon cow's wife isn't famous beyond i don't even know who it is laura right here we go i think i don't know yeah but yeah it's a very difficult

it's a very interesting one do we actually finish the intro of the person or did you just talk for 10 minutes after said harper can i just ask one thing as well go on could you write in with the most famous person whose kid we don't know the name of a Lauren silverman's at simon cow's wife Oh, there we go. The most famous person. Because even Killian Murphy, who kept himself very, very private. Yeah. He took his son on Graham Norton, and he watched the show,

and he was sort of on camera waving because, but he's like a teenager. It's things like that. He's also like, I want my children to have the opportunity to go to these things and enjoy them. Do you know what I mean? So. You wouldn't feel like you're ashamed of them and you have to hide them. No, exactly. So if I got to take my daughter, what would be the thing, you know,

obviously I've got a video is from like, Alan and Jonathan from, like, she loves traitors. I've not watched it all yet. Okay. I have. So I've got her videos from them. But, like, say, not that this exists, but say there was like a traitor's experience

and we were invited to it and she could go, I would want to take her. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. If you did I'm a celebrity, would you let them be at the end of the bridge to hug you? No, because I think they wouldn't bother. So I'd say, I'd say, don't come.

No, Rose and the kids will be out of there. Yeah, they'd be out there. It's just a bit of a balance, isn't it? It's your work out what it is. Maybe saying we've called him Brooklyn because we fucked in Brooklyn. Yeah, that's already. I wouldn't call that soft launch for your kid in the media. They've got very distinctive names as well, which he and glass houses, blah, blah, blah.

But, like, they were awkwardly timed the Beckham's in terms of they were just the height of tabloids wanting to know. Yeah, and they were so famous and everything was getting at anyway. Hey there, Rob, Josh and Michael. is my almost three-year-old daughter Harper having a go at the intro. Oh my god, that was 15 minutes. We didn't even read it out. Didn't even read it out. Absolutely riffmasters. I bet Rachel Migliori from Boigniop, West Australia, originally from Belfast, has been sitting here going, you better fucking get back to this. Oh, Boenop. Boyanop. Western Australia. Do you know that? No. I've only been to Perth on Western Australian. In my excitement recording,

I accidentally pressed stop before praising her. I promise she got a big cheer in a high five. Big shout out to my twin brother, Ben, who got me into the podcast early in my pregnancy with Harper. The leap from one to two kids has been huge, but my hubby and I are bluffing our way through it. Thank you so much. I look forward to the episodes each week, and I love when the kids have a car nap so I can drive and listen to the pod, flipping lovely. Stay Sex and Relatable, Rachel Miglioree, Boi-Ni-Yop, Western Australia, originally Belfast. Jesus Christ, that's a mouthful, that, isn't it? Rachel Migliori from Bingua, originally from Belfast.

there we go yes are you going to australia possibly sign up to the mailing list sign up to the mailing list what's your plan for next year josh has you got any like announcements of like things that are going on that you're not allowed to say yet yeah of course i have fun do sign up to my mailing list

what i like is i've been following romish's big announcement right yeah that he's going on tour and what i love in the buildup to any comedian if any comedian says they've got a big announcement coming up sign up to the mailing list. It's at all. They do not care enough about a TV show

to make you sign up to their mailing list. You don't give a shit about anything else other than mailing list and ticket sales. So that's the give a while. That is the only reason

they want you to sign up for the mailing list. They haven't got a new podcast. They've got a new TV show. They haven't got a new radio show. They just mailing list equals tour. That is a great hack. Great insight there, Josh.

What's it going to be? I've got a new show on ITV. So do sign up to my mailing list. Big news coming, guys. sign up to the mailing list did my hamster chips dead see you next week just dropping news

effort at a massive shit earlier didn't need to want my ass sign up to the list I tell you something if you are signed up to my mailing list and do sign up if you live in Australia or the UK can you sign up to mine as well please

yeah sign up to Rob's as well yeah and in three years time when I announce another tour yeah you won't get too much spam there's no worries with my mailing list you're not getting more than three emails a year Could I tell you what's a fun thing about being in Australia, Josh? You love this.

Yeah. Because all the emails come in like overnight. Like you get it all in a one lump. You can get all your work done quickly when you wake up. And you don't realise how many mailing lists you're on until you see it in one go. And then on your phone, you can just press, you know, it says unsubscribe at the top in blue. Yeah, I've been doing it. Oh my God.

It's so good. I feel so powerful. I've got rid of all of my mailing lists except the ones I want to be on now. I feel incredible I just thought I've taken ownership of my own life I feel so much better for it and so I get music tickets because that might help me

and Plymouth Argyle yes how they doing at the moment are you enjoying the updates from those guys I delete both of those because I live in extra so no gigs come here you're gonna be in league too Plymouth Argyll as shit

no we won at the weekend you're still bottom the league aren't you no because we beat the team above us so we can't be bottom oh if you are that's low at it You may go down. Would that be fun because you win every week? I don't think May is really strong enough.

Who's May? You said we may go down. I think it's stronger than may go down. 16 points, but there's quite a lot of people at the bottom with not many points. If you win one game, you're out of the relegations out. Yeah, that's a huge if. And you lost to exit as well, and they're in nearly the relegations zone. No, I know, I know.

We'll be playing them next year in League 2. Sorry, go on, Josh. What would you say? We were talking about mailing lists. We're talking about mailings. Should we do some correspondence? Or did you have something else to say? No, I was just saying,

Romish is off on tour and it's good to give him a bit of promo. Oh, bald in school stories, want one? Yeah. My parents sent me to bald in school age seven. Oh, fucking God. Unsubscribe, unsubscribe from that. I was the only girl baldur in the whole school.

What? These serial killer fucking parents that do this kind of shit. Understandably, the school put me in a room on my own. Less understandably, the same room during the day as a sick bay for poorly children. Oh my God. Not only that, they used my bed.

Oh my God. My parents only found out after a neighbour's child came home sick and told his mum that he slept in a bed of a Peter Pan bed sheets. Somehow had come up in conversation and my parents put two and two together and they were horrified and I did get to change schools after that. Suffice to say, my memories of boarding school

aren't entirely positive from Lee age 460 months. There's an element to boarding school. for child cruelty. It's brutal. Not just the concept of it, but it's not as palatial as it should be. Do you know what I mean? No, it feels like the amount of money it costs

and it's all for posh, but it feels like you are like living a substandard dorm and that sort of almost character building that you sleep in a shit hole. Yeah, exactly. Or maybe I'm wrong. Was it palatial or not?

I don't know. Tell us. Tell us. Should I have Google, Eaton, boarding school bedroom? Sounds like a bit of a pedo search, isn't it? Is it eating the best?

I don't know. It looks out of a prison cell. Does it? Yeah, it just looks old and sad. What have you written? Eaton College Summer School, is that one? Oh, it says. College rooms.

It's completely soulless. Oh, they're nicer than I thought. At least they've got their own room. Yeah, but bloody hell, it's weird, isn't it? It's a weird thing. It's a weird thing. It's a weird thing. Anyway, each the owner.

That's the old saying, go. Each the road. Unless it's me having to do it. I fucking hate it. Crap advent calendars. Here we go. Hello, Rob and Josh. Have you got yours yet?

I've got our kids ones. I've bought myself one from TikTok's show. for eight quid and it's a football one and it looks so crap what do you get shall I bring it and open the first one no it's not December the first don't approve of this

so I've got it here I'll just send you it so it's like a a terrible low res picture of loads of footballers oh wow they're a World Cup in the middle but I'm gonna say it now Rob they have not cleared those photos so really random players some retired eight years ago so why have you bought this surely there's a good football avvent calendar

I was just doom scrolling. Honestly, on tour, I scroll and watch so much... I just don't know what... I'm just stuck in a hotel room on my own going mad! I've started watching a documentary called Once Upon a Time in Northern Ireland.

Oh my God, it's so bleak. It's something else, isn't it? I watched that in Derry and in Dublin when I was on tour and I just couldn't believe it. It's so heartbreaking. Do watch it though, because it is work of art. It's incredible and it's brilliant,

but fuck me. All right, so I've opened the first one. I've just smashed through Hakemi's face. Yeah. And it doesn't open properly. Yeah, of course. Because it's terribly designed. It's so deep.

It's so deep. It's so deep. And I've got a really... You got a lint bunny? No, it's a little metal golden boot. Oh. With a fake Adidas boot on it. And what are you meant to do with that?

You just put it on the side. It's like a little ornament. Fuck. Let us know if you've got to share our bank calendar than that. Because that is so fake. And actually, I think. if the police came in and took this I'd be arrested for counterfeit goods

and the back of it's exactly the same as the front the back of the advent calendar is exactly the same as the front that is fucking and I've got a little plastic golden boot eight quid how much are they making on that it's really badly done it came up one of them little TikTok adverts

and then I just clicked on it and before I knew it it was getting delivered oh man it's like two button presses eight quid it's difficult on tour isn't it because you're equivalent if you're basically I think I've become some sort of like social media shopping addicts where that's like doing a bumper coke in the toilet. Yeah, it is.

Seen it, why not? Bang. And before I know, I've got these plastic shit at me else. I know. I do that on eBay. It's terrible. Anyway, so that's, I've opened the 1st of December. It's going to bring me bad luck.

Dear Josh and Rob, I don't think you need to worry about bad luck from that Advent calendar. There's no way it holds proper luck. I'm a long time, long time, sorry, listener from Berlin, Germany, originally from Cheshire, UK. When my daughter was four years old, it was the 30th of November and due to the treadmill of work deadline sickness and the usual chaos I'd completely forgotten to buy my daughter's Advent calendar. She was so excited

about the 1st of December and opening the first advent door that I just had to find one in time. I visited the local supermarket but it's sold out of all Advent calendars. The second supermarket looked promising, but alas it only had Advent calendars with an assortment of tea bags which was not interesting

to a four-year-old or anyone. I don't know. I think you might want. Well, I've got enough tea bags. Do you know I think if you woke up on the other side of the bed, you might go, oh, it's brilliant, Rob. You get red bush, red bush on the first, then Al Gray on the Christmas Eve. This one, Sherman, it's brilliant.

That's Sean Walsh that you're doing. Yeah, I've gone Shaw-Wilcher. I made a dash to Netto, and hallelujah, I found the chocolate Advent calendars. In my haste to buy the calendar and make it home, I didn't really pay much attention to the box. I know what he's done. She, go on. She's put a dog one. The next morning, I pulled out the Advent calendar.

handed it to my daughter. She excitedly opened the first door. Do you want to go again? Cat one. And took a bite into the chocolate. She immediately spat it out and shrieking yuck, yuck, yuck. As I studied the box, I realized I'd bought.

Do you want to go again? I haven't got it right. No. I've got no idea. An advent calendar with snaps filled chocolate. Each day had a chocolate filled with a flavoured schnaps. Oh. Less and less.

learn to always check the box, especially after I collected my daughter from kindergarten that afternoon, Germany. Kindergarten. And the teacher mentioned that my daughter informed the class that mummy and daddy had given her wine. But I don't like a chocolate liqueur. I don't like it. It's just ruined chocolate for me. I don't like chocolate liqueur. It's shit. No one likes it. No one in their right mind enjoys that. You need to tell the manager of Berlin Netto. I do need to tell the manager of Berlin Netto. Get on the first plane. Get the email up. Oh, there's a gobble, gobble, fail. Gobble, gobble, fam, come on. I work in a restaurant in Newcastle

upon time, and recently had I've been there in the last... Have you been there recently, Rob? No. I'm going next week. Recently had an embarrassing parenting hell related moment. A party of two decided to turn into a party of 15. That's not me. There are a few people coming

up from down south. I definitely haven't been familiar with 15 people and you go, a little while later a family joined the table with a lady and two young kids. And what I absolutely oh no, absolutely believed was Josh. No. Oh no. I assumed he was up here on tour.

You've got a check. Just type in Josh Whitaker, Newcast and find the date. I asked the table for any allergies and got a good look at him. I was 100% sure. Same voice and everything. I asked my colleagues who agreed. When I went to deliver the drinks, I lent in and announced

announced gobble-goble while raising my eyebrows in the most animated way in a way could I just say of all the context is almost the best one to mistakenly gobble-gobble

because it makes slight bit of sense Yeah you know You're putting food down If you just went up someone in the street And said gobble-gobble That's far worse Than you're giving them drinks All around a pool on holiday

Or in a bar Gobble-Gobble The response was some unbelievable believably puzzled faces. Josh's doppelganger was absolutely mortified. Complete and out of silence. Then the two little kids burst out laughing, shouting, Mommy, what is she saying?

It was not Josh. I've never been so red and simply couldn't explain to my boss why his restaurant manager was making noises to his customer. Keep being sexy and relatable, live 23 from Jordyland. live. I'm coming up next week. Well, I don't know when this goes out, but I'll be up there 27th of November for three nights. So if you see me, you can gobble, gobble, you can gobble

gobble me. Yeah. Sounds bad. Yeah. At me. Not gobble, gobble, at me. The problem is that the odds are it might not be you still. So she now, she's, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go into Pizza Express Newcastle. Is it Peter Express? Was it Peter? I thought it said Pizza Express. No, she hasn't said where it is. I'm going to find out where it is. And then go there and then when she leans in and goes with a big eyebrows gobble gobble I'm going to go I'm sorry what what's that mean and then she goes you're Rebecca you go no no and then when at the end she goes how do you want to pay you'll have to go cash because she won't be allowed to see your card I'll just tap it well quick do it on my phone tap right oh we got here seeing other people on

holiday. Okay, I don't remember this. We were talking about not wanting to see other people on holiday. And I actually should say Tom Pacman, who I mentioned, I had got that wrong. It wasn't New York. It was Paris. And he did text me to correct that. So I do apologize. Not interesting for everyone else. In this special segment brought to you by Tesco Mobile for Business, we're going to talk to you about the chaos of balancing parenting and running a side hustle. Like when you're trying to send an email and your kids just video. called your mum on your work phone. Oh, yes.

Or you're typing up an invoice. Don't realize your toddler's eating 10 crowns. We've all been there, Rob. Yeah, absolutely. Now, Josh, if you had to start and run your own side hustle, what would it be? I would like, Rob. Oh, it's difficult, isn't it? Massage therapist?

Just let your hands go to work and keep your mouth shut for a bit. I think I have got healing hands. But actually, I get quite bored quite easily. So being silent for an hour, I'd struggle with that. Also, I don't really like people. So I think it would have to be something at home. I think I might buy and sell online, Rob. I think if I can spot a bargain,

yeah, repackage it and sell it on at a profit to someone who really wants it. Well, you do still jokes, so that would fit. That's a shame, isn't it? Well, what kind of stuff? Because you can't just do anything, can you? Nostalgia items that I find online or garage clearance. Would you go to boot sales and stuff? Or would you only do it online?

Yes, that's who I'm going to be. But then you've got a hard, it's a hard negotiation for you as to bloke off the telly to get a good deal. No, because they know that I can walk away at any point because they know I don't need it. Right, okay. I've got a bootzool and I'm selling micro star football heads. Yeah, and I say I'll give you 6p for them. There's 300 here. Good deal. Cheers. I'll see you later.

God, you are good. So I think I think I'd be a good kind of Del Boy style side hustler selling nostalgic items. What about you? I'd quite like I have a sandwich shop, you know? Yeah. I think I can make better sandwiches than most of the UK population. Okay. Talk to me about how you're making sandwiches. I've come to your sandwich shop and I've gone. I hear that you make the best sandwiches. Yeah. What's your secret? My secret is fresh bread. Bouncy in the middle, crusty on the edge.

Yeah. Okay. Is that a secret? Well, it's not secret, but it's what I'll do. Yeah. And what's your ratio of fillings to bread? Because I find loads of fillings. Oh, that's not for me then. Yeah, exactly. But I don't want you in my shop. Yeah, fair enough. You're not my market. You're not my demographic. Do you what I want?

I want people that love life. I don't want sad little one slither of ham, sad losers like you without flapping around in your pathetic little square bread. I'm talking crusty loaf. Yeah. Enjoy what my secret ingredient is? Love. Gerkins.

Yeah, this is the same. The pickle of love. The pickle of love. That's the pickle of love. That's eight pounds to you. Do you want one? Yeah, I'll have one, please. Yeah.

Sold. See, look at that. Yeah. The thing is, though, Josh. Yeah. If we did do the side hustle, me and Lou, I'm already busy as it is. But if I'm up at six down the old girkin market, getting the fresh gherkins in, you know what I mean?

Like, so I'm going to open up the shop at 7am with, you know, the pickle of love sandwiches ready to go. Like, how am I going to balance that? It's easy, Rob. It's easy, right? Yeah. You need the right tools. You need the thing to help you.

I'm talking Tesco Mobile for Business here, Rob. Oh, yeah. Come on. Keep going. If you're out there, you're hustling. Yeah. School run spreadsheets. Tesco Mobile for Business is great value.

great coverage, perfect for keeping your chaos in check. And there is a lot of chaos with both me and you. So it needs keeping in check. Even without a side hustle, there's a lot of chaos. Yeah, you're buying football memorabilia. I'm making pickle sandwiches. There's a lot of chaos. And one thing to short, it's more important to stay connected.

Totally. Tesco Mobile for business is basically the parenting hack you didn't know you needed, saving cash and keeping you connected when everything else falls apart. Go to TescoMobile.com, forward slash business. explore their business phone plans because parenting's hard enough without your phone plan holding you back. Now, seeing other people on holiday.

Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael, I have a story about seeing people you know on holiday. In 2019, my fiancé and I booked a once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon to Barbados. Three days before our wedding, I was chatting to our company's financial director who mentioned he was going on holiday soon. Oh, where too? I asked.

Barbados, he replied. Small world. So when I asked which part, St. James, exactly where we were going. I asked him what hotel we booked. You guessed it, the exact same small 50-room hotel we had booked. Oh, no. He was arriving halfway through our honeymoon. By the next day, it was the talk of the office.

Also, the worst part of that is, that's a once-in-lifetime opportunity honeymoon. But you know for a fact, that's just where the finance director goes every year. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so in the second half of my honeymoon was spent awkwardly trying not to bump into my boss in a bikini. It was me in the bikini, though, not him. And praying every meal time, we wouldn't be sitting next to each other. We did, unfortunately, end up at neighbouring tables for breakfast on multiple occasions.

Oh, no. One night we booked a minibus trip to a local fish fry market. We got on, sat down, turned around, and there he was right behind us. The only silver lining, when our flight home was delayed due to tropical storm, Dorian, he gave me an extra day off as compassionate leave. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. She was cold for sorry for honeymoon blocking you.

That's more awkward for them. He doesn't want to be there with her either, does he? If the other person doesn't want to be there with you, that's fine. The worst is... If they're keen. Yeah, so me and Rose will have the discussion of, like, on holiday, who'd be the worst people? And it's people you kind of know, isn't it?

That you know enough that it would impact the holiday. The worst people are the people that want to hang around with you and you don't want to hang around with them. That's the worst. They know you enough that they think that you should be hanging around with them. Yeah. So if we, me and you, Rose and Lou ended up, at the hotel, we would feel compelled to spend the whole time together, even though actually

we probably would like some alone time, but it's awkward for everyone involved. Yes. The way to deal with it, if you don't know them that well, is to, if you clock them and go, oh, my God, that's someone a half a note. You just go up to them quickly without ever kids. You go, oh, hi, nice to see it, have a good holiday. And then it's done. Yeah.

When we were on holiday in Spain, Lou went, oh, there's a boy over there, boy, man, we're all 40, who I went to uni with. I was like, all right. And I was like, you've got to say hello. She went, oh, I don't know, like, this is Lou's idea of hell. This kind of social, semi-awkward interaction makes Lou literally go red and, like, panic. And because I'm normally the lead of any sort of social interaction, this is, I don't know the man. This is all her wheelhouse, right?

Anyway, so I was like, you're going to go and say hello? She went, oh, if it's a bit closer, I don't want to make a thing of it, you know? Yeah. And then a few days went by, and they were sort of awkward, like, eyebrow raises from across the pause that went past, but neither of them properly saying hello. and I was like, why didn't you just go and speak to him? I went, well, how well do you know him? Like, thinking it was just someone that was on a course. Oh, here we go.

She fucking lived with him. What? There was like two houses of like boys and girls that they spent like three years in and out of everyone's house together. Now, I don't know, maybe they got off of each other. I don't think they did. But it was mental that she didn't say hello. So that's why the bloke was, because why the hell is she not saying alone?

Then it's as much on him as it is on her. Yeah, but I do think it's a bit more, I don't know, like, would you really want to swagger over to a woman you was at uni with with a husband and be like, hey. Was he with his wife? Wife and children. But yeah, I just couldn't believe Lou wasn't more front-footed.

Now, she's probably going to listen to this. It's going to be shit for this now. But hey. We'll see. We'll see. Well, you get a little one of your little voice notes. Yeah, yeah. I couldn't believe that, like, Lou knew him that well,

but it was like leaving it that. I was like, you've made this more awkward. Well, stay on university, Rob. First week of uni fails. A friend of mine, described having to teach her a male and a little bit useless uni friend to hang up his clothes to dry after he washed them. He was putting them straight into the wardrobe wet. That is wild. What? That is mental, isn't it? So he's hung them up but just put him in the

wardrobe. Yeah. I do remember everything smelled a bit damp at uni because no one really wanted to put the heating on. People would refuse to buy like a clothes horse thing. Also, it was expensive to use that you had to pay for the tumble dryers. Yeah, we were in a house share that had a tumble dryer in it so you didn't have to pay each time it was electric obviously you had to pay for tools yeah you didn't have that many clothes did you must be washing them all the time i don't really remember i were lived in canterbury so i think what i did a lot of was just wearing them putting them in a bag and going home and getting my mum to do it uh clever that was a big thing that used to happen at you clever i remembered something the other day i'd take all more

washing home dishes a lot when i went to uni so after the first year one of my friends had lost his keys to his halls and he had to buy a new set which was 50 quid which was always oh that is the morale dip as a student yeah also in 2001 that's even more money like three grand

and then he when he was moving out he found the keys obviously so he had two sets of keys so he handed one back in he still had a set of keys I remember I was thinking we had a plan which was wouldn't it be amazing to on the first day

move in again everyone goes out to the bar yeah first night and then you move straight out and you never mention it again what's for the next year you move out you never seen again and they're like who the fuck was that guy

that on the first night turned up with a load of boxes moved into our house and then he said he'd meet us in the bar and then we never saw him again did you do it no I wish I had but anyway if you do get a spare set of keys

could you do that and see how how it works out for me. But then what if someone else is already in the room? I know, that's your gamble, isn't it? Well, you just go, oh, there's obviously been some kind of fuck up here. I'll go and check with the office, and then you run for your life. Let's have a boomer parent. I like to mix them out.

Nightmare names. Do a nightmare names, and I'll do some boomers. Okay. I used to work with a guy called Andy Hull. Right, there we go. Here we got. It's a good one. I'm already in it.

Mr. A-Hole. Yeah, his email was at A-Hole at Redacted. A-Holl at A-L-L. None of us ever said anything out loud, but we all referred to him as A-Hole informally, of course. Anyway, when he had a daughter, we were horrified and delighted in equal measure to learn that they had called her Lavinia, Lavinia Hole.

Lavinia, Living a Hole. Living a hole. I feel like they've had a bit of fun at work with the A-hole, which, by the way, is top-tier, good fun. Yeah, great. No qualms. Then they found out that A-Holes had a kid and called Levinia hole.

I mean, I can hear it now. I can hear it now. Levinia hole. What's your job called? Oh, Levinia hole. Yeah, now we're saying it out loud in flow. I'm into it. Yeah.

But I do think they're already high on the A-hole stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think Levinia hole, I don't know. Actually, the more I'm saying. The more coming around to it. I'm warming up to Levinia hole. I'm living a hole. I want to live in a hole. I think also the other thing is, if your surname's hole,

you've really got to go checking a lot of things with names because it's an open goal. Open hole. It's an open hole. Everything sounds bad with hole. So is it about H-O-L-E? Exactly like a hole. It literally is Mr. A-Hole.

Yeah. And that's not even banter. That's just it written down. That's it. Was A-Hole a phrase, we don't know how old Andy is, but presumably because he's had a kid he's at least in his 30s. Was...

No one's had a kid under 30. haven't but it feels like he's at least in the 30s I don't know what I said which is 12 years could have been a parent Yeah so Andy might be 16 But either way

When did A-Hole Because I don't think A-Hole was a phrase When I was a kid I think it was an arseal when I was a kid Then it became an asshole Yeah A-Holes maybe new Maybe that's new for him Definitely when he was named I don't think A-Hole was a problem

No Also it's Andrew Hull But also When he was named he was still A hole. It's not as bad. Yeah, because it'll be hole. Yeah. Is there a C hole? D hole? Anyway. Exactly. That's what you have to do if you're called hole.

Well, big up to Lavinia hole if you're listening. Yeah. Hi, Rob. This is Boomer Parenting. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. I've been listening to the podcast since the early days, but this is the first time I've had something to email about. During the 80s, my dad drove a large transit van, and he would collect me and my friends from school, and he would let us take turns, standing up in the back of the van, holding the lap strapped seat belt from the middle seat and pretends a water ski while he swerved and slammed on the brakes to make us fall over. Amazing. The good old days, Laura aged 545 months. That's quite good fun, isn't it? Yeah. Depends on the age. Yeah, and the road. Hi, you sexy and relatable guys.

I'd like to stay anonymous for obvious reasons. Always a good start. Is it, Mr. Ahole? It's Levinia. She's clapped back. It's Levinia. This is her parenting fail. My seven-year-old sometimes stays at his granddad on a school night to help us with childcare. He loves it there and my father-in-law is great with him. A few weeks ago, I packed his overnight bag, the same bag I used a week before. I also checked in some snacks for granddad to put in his school bag the next day. Fast forward to the following evening where I'm unpacking his school bag. I open up his snack box to find two unopened tampacks. What? I was absolutely baffled. Before I can even figure it out my son pipes up and goes

Mum, what are these and why are they in my snack box? Who did that? Him or her? Sorry. I've referred to a vagina as a snack, but... I don't hate it. I don't hate it. Sorry.

Then he tells me he thought they were sweet. Open them at school and his teacher very calmly said, maybe don't open those ones today. Oh man, did that teacher's love in it, and they? Oh yeah. At this point, I want the ground to swallow me whole. Andy, oh!

You can't have vinyas in there. But then it dawns on me. They must have been left in the bag when I used it, and my poor father-in-law, bless him, must have seen them, assume there are some kind of weird sweets, packed them straight into the snack box. I'm sorry, I know men don't have vaginas, but you know a tampon's not a snack.

In one's bit and twice try. You can't. You can't. Fool me once. Feed me a tampon once. Shame on you. Feed me a tampon twice. Shame on me.

Shame on me. No, you know what a tampon. You can't just blame being a bloke on that. Wow. The teacher would have loved that. Imagine going back in the staff room. Yeah. How was lunch?

Just stopped a kid from eating the tampon. Must have thought there was some sort of Willy Wonka sweet. This marshmallow just keeps getting bigger. Thank God the teacher was walking past. Yes. Your son has choked to death And a massive fucking tab boy My son went to school

With Tambacks and his pat lunch courtesy of his granddad Yeah that's a sum-up P-S Lovely, thank you for that It's an AI sum up Yeah, it's all so disgusting To drink out the same glass as your cat Sorry Josh

But I think about this on a regular basis And I'm a vet nurse I got interviewed about this last week Bydeal It is disgusting David Badeal agrees with me get no frills delivered shop the same in-store prices online and enjoy unlimited delivery with pc express pass get your first year for 250 a month learn more at pceexpress.ca right another boomer parenting story

hi rob and josh when we were little we had a giant teddy bear that lived in my bedroom my parents decided they didn't like it anymore and decided to get rid of it but instead of saying that they told us a burglar had stolen it. What the fuck? I was absolutely terrified a scary burglar had come into my room for years. Of course you are. Thanks for sure of the laughs.

I started listening at the beginning of the year when I was on maternity leave and only just caught up to present day. That is absolutely a burglar has taken it. We've been burgled and they took one shit teddy. Did I tell you about Rose's dummies? Maybe it's ringing a bill.

Michael, have I told that? I don't think so, no. When Rose was, whatever, three or eight. and her mum wanted to get rid of her dummies, they were having building work done at the time, and her mum said the builders had taken them. Oh, yeah, yeah. Have I told you this?

I think you've mentioned that before. About 10 years later, Rose was like, it was weird, wasn't it, when the builders took my dummies? Well, I think it's better the builders, you could say, oh, maybe the builders took it of all their stuff as they left, not someone's broken into our home and stolen the thing that you love, and there's a danger they may come back and take you.

Yeah. It's essentially what they're saying. Exactly. I think you have said that. I thought it was a recent thing. I thought dummies was like, you know, like human dummies, like big sort of dummies, dummies rather than pacifiers. You're okay, Michael.

Well, Rose has a lot of hobbies. I imagine she might be getting into something that involves dummies. Yeah, have I told you about Rose's 10 mannequin she's got in the garage? Because we're talking about burglars. One last email. Flying Solo as a child. So back in 1999, I was put on a flight as an unaccompanied minor, seven years old, from London to Johannesburg.

That's the exact route I, oh no, it's the reverse of the route I did. I was dropped off at the doors to the flight by my parents and never thought much of it. The interesting bit was when I arrived. The plane lands, and as everyone jumps up to collect their luggage, I did too, as I only had a small bag. I stood up and started walking as people were exiting the plane. I reckon the people in front presumed I was with the people behind. and vice versa.

I was then in the airport walking around aimlessly as a seven-year-old when a flustered a stewardess grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, pulled me back aboard saying I was supposed to wait for them. Oh, that's very nearly home alone too, isn't it?

I had no idea about this as I was so young. Turns out Johannesburg at the time kidnapping was a real thing. So, yeah, it really was. So when I was in Johannesburg in 1994... You sound like an old army operative. You were told to lock your passenger doors when, I don't know whether this, when driving. Yeah.

Because people would try and open the door and steal you out of the car. I was only in Johannesburg about five, six years ago. And they said, like, just don't stop at red lights. Yeah. And if police try and pull you over, don't get pulled over because it may not be police. You just drive to a police station with them following you. Jesus wept. Jesus bloody wept.

Should we do small business? Should we do small business? Yeah. Okay, hi Rob Josh and sexy Michael Please may have a shout out for my small business The Sophie Touch Oh I am a sex worker

Little side hustle I've been doing since lockdown Front hustle more like Oh dear I don't know what that meant I was trying to do a banking joke Anyway, it's not a sex I help families declutter And organise their homes

Makes much more sense It makes much more sense I help families declutter their nutsacks this poor woman She's been waiting for this email to be read out for months probably I implore everyone to get in touch to use the actual service

I'm so sorry Sophie Arguably the other way is it's flagging it as you know this is one people will remember I help families declutter and organise their homes whether that's taming the playroom tackling the Tupperware cupboard of doom or simply making day-to-day life a bit calmer. My aim is to create calm in the chaos so families can breathe easier, feel less stressed

and spend more time on what really matters. By making spaces more functional and clear, tidying feels less overwhelming and families waste less. Services include decluttering and organisation, personalised solutions for every room, life transitions, support with downsizing and moving, style and design, bespoke mural painting and interior design consultations, and 69ers. I've made up the last one. Parent and our listeners get 15% off their first booking. Email the Sophie touch at gmail.com, Instagram, the Sophie touch.

There you go. Good luck, Sophie. Apologies for that. And get involved, guys. It's a 15% discount if you get the Sophie touch. Too late, Rob. It's too late. The Sophie touch.

Too late. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael, absolutely love the pod. 17 months ago, my wife and I adopted our two amazing girls, and they've turned our world wonderfully upside down. In those early months, as we built trust and connection, a predictable routine was key to them helping to feel safe and in control during such a big life change. That's when I created Vizzy Timers, V-I-Z-Z-Z-Y.

Beautifully simple, visual timers we put on the TV so the girls could see when transitions were coming or how long was left for an activity. It made such a difference. They started anticipating changes, It's focusing better, staying calmer. We still use them today. After seeing the impact firsthand, we've made VisiTalmers available to parents, carers, educators, and therapists everywhere.

They're free on YouTube, just search FizzyTimers, and schools can purchase offline classroom packs at www.com. Parents, don't forget to subscribe. Thanks for all the laughs, Sam. Lovely. Much more pure, well-delivered read than what I did to pour Sophie's touch. Well, once we got to the adoption of two amazing girls, I did feel slightly boxed in on that. Yeah, that's difficult, isn't it?

To, you know, sort of pretend it's a sex worker business. Yeah, so cheers for not being a laugh, Sam, with your bloody adopted kids. But there we go. Yeah, Sam, you come, guzzler. Sorry, I don't know what's happened to me. Let's go, let's go. Stop. You just cancelled me.

Josh, I'll see you next week. Apologies to Sophie and Sam there. I was just starting to have a little bit of fun. I was the husband as well. Well, I call Sam the cum-guzzler. I think that's better to call a man a cum-gouser than a woman knows, isn't it? Let's leave. That's better.

It's better to call a man. Stop the episode. Stop the episode, Michael. Michael, end it now. Shut up, Josh, you come, guzzler. Gozzle, guzzle.