Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S11 EP33: Andy Goldstein
Episode Date: December 5, 2025Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant presenter and radio broadcaster - Andy Goldstein. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available eve...rywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk Follow us on instagram: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
And I'm Josh Widdickham.
Welcome to Parent in Hell,
the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
which I would say can be a little tricky.
So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you,
feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting,
each week you'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.
Or hopefully how they're not coping.
And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener,
with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe.
Because let's be honest,
There are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing.
Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with...
Neve.
Can you say Rob Beckett?
Bob Beckett.
And can you say Josh Whittaker?
Josh Wittaker.
And can you say, I'll tell you that for free?
I'll tell you that, I'll free.
There we go.
Catchphrase.
Great work.
Neve, N-I-A-M-H.
N-I-A-M-H, yes.
Thank you.
Here is my very lively, two-and-a-half-year-old,
Neve doing your names.
We live in Tetbury in Gloucestershire,
although I'm originally from North London.
My brother, Uncle David, loves the pod too,
and has been trying to get Neve to do your names for a while.
Since she could talk,
I actually think she thinks you guys are Uncle David's mates.
My husband, Tom Jones and I absolutely lovelessly.
No, no.
Not that near to Wales.
Is it actually Tom Jones?
I don't think it is Tom Jones.
He hasn't got a Yanke.
here, does he? Probably.
And I currently
in the, not the bloody nose, right,
etc. I currently in the trenches
with a 16 week old Sadie
who does not like to sleep.
So lots of late night, listening
to you guys is getting me through the hourly wake-ups.
Thanks, that's fantastic
podcast. God.
Fuck that.
That's so hard, did it?
Youngest is a lot better
sleeping through the night since you come back from
Japan and Australia, which is good.
She still comes in
the night, but she's going a bed right now
where before we had to sit with her and it was hard, man.
It took hours.
But that baby thing every hour.
Ooh.
How are you, Josh?
Good way, you and busy.
Giggling, gigging, gigging.
Yeah, good.
We've got Andy Goldstein on today, Rob.
Football, football, ladsads,
love a bit of Andy Goldstein.
We are going to obviously ask,
we haven't interviewed him yet.
So we're going to ask him about he got the first interview
with Noel Gallagher after Oasis were on tour, didn't he?
Possibly the only one.
I don't know if Noel Gallagher has done any other interviews.
He loves talk sport, Noel Gallagher.
does he rings up and chats him about man city
so they've been doing that for years anyway
and got goldstein's like a bit of a networker
he's like really good friends with Robbie Williams
he's very front foot forward and
pally with people but he's a good bloke and he's very funny
he's good at talk sport as you know I'm a big talk sport
you're a huge ambassador for talk sport
I do you what's your favourite show on talk sport
I love
the Jamie O'Haw and Jason Kundy one
when Tottenham and lose.
Right.
That's quite fun.
It depends what's happened in the football.
I do like Ali McCoyst at all times
and Alan Brazil and Ray Parlor.
They're just top level.
That's, lads.
Absolutely.
And Annie Goldson and Darren Bent are good like that.
And then Hawksby and Jacobs good.
Charlie Baker's on that.
He's brilliant.
Yeah, he's great.
I think you've done a bit of talks for.
If your team was higher up the league
and they spoke about them,
I think you'd get involved.
No, I don't know if I would, Rob.
I don't know if I would.
They were just hammering Exeter City.
Wouldn't you love that?
The big old Devon Derby.
Well, I quite like Exeter City.
You shouldn't say that as a Plymouth fan, though.
Peace and love.
This is why the Plymouth fans don't love you as much as they should.
You've got a hate exit out.
That's why they love Pyeface and not you.
You've been in Coventry.
Yes, I was in Coventry, yeah, absolutely.
Three nights there.
Quite a long time to be in Coventry.
Send me a video of your hotel room that bleaked me out.
I'd say, Coventry, lovely people, great football team.
I want to watch the football.
Great stadium.
great vibe, not loads of hotel options.
I would say that I wouldn't go, it's not a hotbed.
It's not a tourist destination, is it?
Because I said to the people, the hotel I was in,
and people from Coventry were going,
why'd you say in there?
I was like, oh, you know, it just came out.
I went, well, where else should I stayed?
And they went, um,
I thought, well, if you've taken this long,
I think this may have been the best one to stay at.
Student halls are obviously very near the Warwick Arts Centre, Rob.
Absolutely.
I think it'd be mad to stay in the student halls of residence as a touring comedian.
Don't you?
I'd say, suspicious almost.
This came up the other day, right?
Yeah.
So I was going on tour on Thursday, and it was my daughter's hockey match at the school.
So I thought, I'll pop in for the first little bit, and then I've got to go and get the train.
Yeah.
Right?
as I'm leaving through the school gates a car comes in with a parent from a different from the from the school we're playing against right and he goes oh hello and I'm like hi yeah and he goes you're on tour here and I was like no my daughter's at this school and he said oh right yeah I didn't know that obviously yeah I did think sorry he didn't even know you was here first in my week I'm on tour and
And what I'm doing on my tour is leaving a school at 2pm with a pillow and a suitcase.
What element of this tour do you think I'm currently doing, leaving the school?
Am I arriving or leaving?
Have I arrived at the school?
Are I staying at the school?
Have I just done a gig at the school?
Because I do think if we heard of another comedian that sleeps at student halls of residence, it's a huge red flag.
getting you,
put him on the one that hangs around schools with a pillow
of a Thursday afternoon.
I think that's fine if you're leaving the school
that your child's at.
Yeah, but he seemed shocked
that my child was at the school.
Well, it must be weird because I think, you know,
obviously everyone at the school is just used to
that Josh Whitacom's kid goes to school,
but you feel another parent from another school arriving at
there's Josh Whitakum of a pillow at a hockey match.
Yeah.
Not a fan, what you should have said,
not a fan of hockey, getting your head down.
Well, I told you, I tell you what.
did happen, Rob, is I walked to the hockey match with Rose,
and then I would have my suitcase.
The other morning, understandably, because my daughter is eight.
Yeah.
Any difference is embarrassing, understandably.
Yeah.
The other morning I dropped her off.
I already had my suitcase.
She found that mortifying.
That you had your suitcase with you dropping off.
Yeah.
Mortifying because she's going to miss you or just other people are going,
why did that got less you?
But other people are saying why she's had got a suitcase.
Well, they weren't even saying.
saying that yet, but you know when you're at school, you're like, I don't want my parents
to drop me off with any, when my parents would get, like, we used to have old banger cars
because we couldn't afford, like, a reno espat, like other parents.
I don't remember when we'd get a new old banger, I would be mortified.
Do you know what I mean?
Any difference?
True.
Well, when we drop, we do a thing where you drop the kid off and they jump out the car, but
my...
You don't even stop, do you?
You're doing it at 30 hours an hour.
But they turn the music down, whatever.
Because we'll be singing and let her elaborate.
They go, no, turn it down, tell it.
Like they don't want, you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Any extra attention.
So actually, when I got to the school and it was tight,
I was only going to get up to watch the first 10 minutes to the hockey.
I thought, I'm going to leave because I think me turning up for 10 minutes with a pillow
and a suitcase actually is more damaging than being there than me not being there.
So did you see that you were there?
No.
So why did you go to the school?
When I got to the school, I realized how far down the hockey was.
I was like, by the time I've got that, I'm going to be turning around.
within 10 minutes.
Right, to go back to get your car.
Yeah, I'm just coming.
Yeah.
Tap out.
Yeah, so there we go.
So how's Rose getting on with you being away so much?
Because you've been away quite a bit with a tour and last leg, haven't you?
It's quite a busy period.
It's much easier than it was in London because there's no long school run.
Oh, yeah, because you had to drive or she had to get a cat.
Is she driving yet?
She's driving?
So have we discussed this?
We've mentioned her driving before, but not since Exeter.
She was trying to get a test.
Well, I'll tell you on Tuesday.
But basically, she,
shall I do a trailer for that?
She booked...
How long is this going to be?
Because I don't feel like it's an hour long.
I'll just quickly ready for it.
She booked a test here.
She went to a driving instructor here.
It turned out that her driving instructor in London was absolute dog shit.
Oh, really?
And doing things that you shouldn't legally be allowed to do.
Like getting her to drive the last.
person back home and then the last person so she'd turn up to your house with someone
driving the car they'd get in the back then Rose would drive them home yeah fuck off but she
didn't know that was that's mental that's not okay no so she was an Uber driver before
she passed the test yeah exactly oh so she likes this new instructor because I had that is so
important I had a bad driving instructor when I first started and a change
it's someone else and it was life change
I used to dread all of her lessons. Morale
was so low and also you don't want someone
in the back watching you know? No exactly
so there we go so um oh good luck to her so she's learning
to enjoy it again cool well I'm glad we didn't tease
that 80 second story
I could have strung it out
no no I was talking about the story
oh god he's got incredible just heard that and thought I was accusing her of
stringing it out
No, he was going to string out the story.
No, he said that the story, oh, it doesn't matter.
Bring it in, what's the problem?
No, let's bring on Andy Goldstein.
Andy, welcome to the show.
Thank you.
How many kids you got?
Let's start with the basis.
I'd say Rob is so excited by this because this is Rob's fanboy moment.
Robb, today, feels like I would if we booked Paul McCartney.
absolutely i'm really i've really been sucked in by the new talk sport relaunch you you've got me from breakfast till dinner
they've gone mad on the youtube the clips are good they know that they they book people that like
aren't just winding you up to wind you up and the fun how is silent jordan well he yeah he's the
anomaly he's stuck in the middle no it's mad you say that because because that the transformation
of what radio is like now compared to what was like five 10 years ago i went out for lunch with a friend of mine
to long ago.
And they said to me,
I was chatting to my 12 year old
and I said I'm meeting
Andy Gosing today.
And he was like, oh, talk sport.
And they were like,
you don't listen to Talk Sport.
And he was like, no, no, no.
But I see it on Instagram.
Yeah.
And it's just a whole new audience
now with social media.
Rob, for our mums that are listening,
could you explain Talk Sport?
So Talk Sport originally
was aimed at angry taxi drivers.
It used to just be called
Talk Radio back in the day,
didn't it, before the sport was added to it?
Well, there was two.
Anyway, so it was more like the LBC model where they'd go,
I think that taxi drivers overcharge and it's not really a skill learning the knowledge
just so that people would ring up, argue, and fill the airwaves.
But you come up with a fake view that you've got, Rob, not just one of your views.
Come up with like an example one.
Uber's quite a good service.
And then basically that went into football where you'd just do a mental opinion about Arsenal
so that mental Arsenal fans would ring up and argue.
And there's still a little bit of that, but it's more sort of knowing.
And I think now that, you know, the hosts wind each other up.
And now it's got a bit more calmer with it.
And just that if you get really funny interest in people on it, you don't have to annoy.
Here's the question, right?
What are, how often are you stood at the urinal with Simon Jordan at Talk Sport Towers
and you're discussing parenting?
How often does the sports mask slip and you're all showing?
your softer parenting side.
Our paths never cross
because he leaves the office
before I get there.
And he always does sit down ways.
But they're on the urinal,
which is on the urinal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because he's a visa as well.
You can seal the fake town on the urinal
from very sad, big ass print,
big orange ass print.
I don't seem to have those conversations,
but I have conversations
with people about parenting at work.
How many kids you got, Andy?
I've got two children.
I've got two girls,
one, 17, the other one's 14.
Oh, wow.
Okay, so you, I've got two girls.
You're about, you know, eight, ten years ahead of me.
What's the jump between an eight and a ten year?
Rob hopes career-wise as well, because you've got Rob's dream job.
Do you want to be me, Rob?
Do you know what?
I don't know if I want to be you every day.
Rob wants to hold you and kiss you, Andy.
He can, wherever he wants.
No, I think my dream job is being teleported into the studio to laugh at the Tottenham fans.
and then teleported out as soon as Arsenal lose.
Do I mean, I don't think I've got the minerals to do it all season
when it's up and down, do you know what I mean?
And I'd have to quit if Arsenal went bad again.
Rob, you've got my number.
You can, at the drop of that, you can text me and go,
can I come in now?
And we would move the schedule to get you in this year.
Yeah, no, I definitely will come on.
I've just been touring and my schedule's been mental this year.
Rob's an absolute shocker.
He's just said his dream is to be on something.
And when he does, which he's done to make,
I've got it out of it.
No, but then I don't want to ruin it by being on it.
I want to listen to it.
Oh, here we go.
Here we go.
I will come on.
I've been busy.
You're not a football fan?
I am, yeah.
I am a Plymouth fan.
See my hoodie.
Okay.
I've talked at length about Plymouth on the show before you with Charlie Baker.
I'm getting on a miss that episode.
A whole break.
Every week when we lose, he gets me on.
Can I ask a question to you, Josh?
Yeah.
Whoever sits in that chair over your left shoulder, what's that for?
His storage, because it's, we've just moved.
in, so it's just been shoved in the corner.
I would leave it there.
I quite like that.
It looks quite inviting.
Also, Josh's partner is an interior designer.
So Josh's office basically becomes a place for Rose to put things that she's about to sell or put in someone else's house.
So it's a revolving, it's almost like a generation game, but good housekeeping.
And what's happening with you?
What is this little room?
What the fuck's going on with it?
What's in that box?
What, that one?
Yeah.
Oh, it's tough being a weatherman, isn't it?
It is tough.
there will be a smart breeze coming in from the west.
That, it's not exciting.
That box had a battery in for my golf buggy art thing,
broke, and I've got to send it back in that box.
How big's a garden?
No, I play, I'm on a golf on a golf course.
So you've got your own golf buggy?
No, the trolley.
All right, I'll find.
I envisions of you like the Chuckle Brothers in a golf buggy.
Around the estate.
What episode was that when the Chucklebrother
was in a golf cart.
Don't they drive another in a thingy, aren't they?
What are they in a rickshaw, sorry.
Oh, I said.
I'm nodded.
Anyway, back to your kids, Daddy.
We need help because we've got daughters that are going to be that age soon.
So what's the jump like between them being 10 and 8 when they still sort of love you and
they're at primary school and they're like little daddy's girls to these sort of teenagers
of 14 and 17?
How's it going?
You know what?
My mates of mine that have got girls that are older than mine.
I had this conversation with them
and they said you get to about 12.30
and they don't want to sit in your lap,
don't want to cuddle daddy,
don't want to associate with you.
He's like,
can you drop me down the road at the school
rather than outside the gates?
And so I was sort of prepared for that.
At the moment,
nothing has changed.
I'm so blessed.
My kids...
You're through it as well,
not through it,
but the difficult bit is right.
When they hit 12, 13,
that's when the change is going to happen, right?
My 14-year-old will still text me
when I'm out from work, like in the pub,
going, what time were you be home?
Why aren't you home yet?
Oh.
You're dinner?
Why aren't you home?
What time are you being?
And my 17-year-old,
there's two ways of 17-year-old can go,
you can look at 17-year-old,
and some of the kids in their school look like this.
They look like, they're 25, and you go like, oh, my God, that's horrific.
Yeah.
Thankfully, she's something, but she looks, she's like 15.
She doesn't want to grow up quick.
She doesn't take her facing makeup.
up. She's not wearing short skirts and doesn't go clubbing a favourite Saturday night.
He's sitting in front of the telly with us.
No.
I'm very lucky at the moment.
They're both wonderful children.
Strictly on a Saturday?
It depends what part of the year in.
They absolutely love the 1% club.
Yeah.
And if there's nothing really odd, we don't really have an appointment of you anymore
because telly's not like it used to be.
But we'll usually watch something like I'm a celebrity, we'll call that.
But we'll make a point of sitting together in front of the TV.
tell you
honest.
Celebrators?
Did you do
celeb traders
together?
I was never
a fan of that.
Really?
I wasn't a
massive fan
of normal traitors.
Even the
celib one?
Well,
my problem
with it is
I found myself
winding on
the bits
where they had
tasks.
Yeah,
that is boring
that bit.
Oh,
that's for just
chatting.
You can talk
about the sport
then.
Yeah,
but then I
realized that all I was
doing was
fast forwarding
to people
just arguing.
Yes.
Well,
that's why
they have the
tasks,
because otherwise they'd all go fucking insane.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm not a big fan of that.
We've just started watching the films.
What are the films called where...
I know he did, I saw.
Where...
Final Destination?
How did you know I was going to say that?
He wants to be you and he's stalking you, Andy.
He's logged into your Netflix accounts
so that he could learn how to be more like you.
I've...
I'm just very...
I don't know.
I do that quite a lot.
yeah psychic or is that i think logical i think look he's a basic
if you know everything about someone it's easy to imagine what films they watch
if your whole life is dedicated to stalking someone rob that's nuts because there's like
literally a billion films i could have said we're watching and you've had final destiny
i know but you can see if you're the cracking your curtains andy when you're watching it
that is a bit weird didn't it i've got that if you see the new one bloodlines
you've already seen it right you watch to skim over this i said i'm watching films at the moment
And you just plug that one out of the year.
Well, when you said, I know what you did last summer,
this is my process of elimination, right?
I've gone, I know we did last summer.
It's not that one because he's still trying to think.
The other ones that came out around that time was Final Destination,
and I know that both of the movies that came out around that time.
And the only other films that came out around the time,
have I know what you did last summer was final destination.
Hear me out, but they were both relaunched again this year.
So I imagine what's happened is,
in my head you've gone
oh I used to watch this as a
when I was younger
half a second
do you get emails
occasionally Andy
that say there's been
a strange login to your Netflix account
from an unknown device
No no because I
again so I'm working out
is that you've gone
oh I'll watch them when I was younger
now she's the same age
oh we could bond over this
watch the old ones
and then watch the new one with her
if that could have been toy story
yeah
I don't know but I just
I went with my gut
I'm a gut guy
I'm an instinct player
but yeah
you find a destination
he's weird
that was weird actually wasn't it
yeah I'm gonna write a film down now right
random film
okay
Andy what did you have for
don't tell us what did you have for breakfast
Rob gone
hold on I don't eat breakfast
I'm bad to say that
he's not a breakfast guy
but my life
he's not eating breakfast
he's just come back off the school run all panicked
what colour socks have I gone
blue
pink oh no
no that's a foot Rob
skin colour
I thought they were pink
What's your tattoo on your heel
That is
It's just lucky on one hill
Boy on the other
This is final on there
A destination
When my little one was about
Five
I got to draw
A picture of herself
On my ankle
Oh she drew it
I didn't get to
She drew it
And I looked at it and I thought
I like that
I'm going to keep that
That's lovely
Is that your only tattoo?
No, I've got about 18.
Really?
Where you got?
Where about, you got a sleeve?
Where in the country?
Do I get her, but?
No, no, on your body.
My other foot, my older one at the time went,
can I write something on your other ankle?
And I went, yeah, so she wrote, I love you when she was about seven.
Oh, so you got that there?
And I've just got various markings from different children in the school.
You like to go from a mentor, just little, little words everywhere.
Yeah.
I've got different, different...
Memento, that's a film, Rob.
Did you know I was going to say Memento?
No, it looks...
Yeah, it's a good film, actually.
So, I've been sidetracked by thinking that I might be a witch.
Have you got any tattoos, either are you?
I've got one from Taskmaster.
I've got my ex-name on my foot.
Have you really?
Yeah.
Well, underneath the foot?
Like in Toy Story?
No, on the kind of in Steph.
That would have been great, wouldn't it?
Where you pass a football?
I'll get them underneath the foot.
Were you not tempted by it to get an Andy?
Because it's on the parma, is it the partner's soul?
That's the one.
Yeah, the pain would be too immense.
And also, on your foot, they tend to rub out, so it'd just be a waste of time.
Tell me about it.
I've basically got a blue blob now.
Andy, with your sketch, right, you do afternoon.
Are you always on the morning school run?
Is that when you see the girls in?
Because you've got quite a strict routine with your job, where we're all over the place.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It works out quite nice.
I went for a stage where I would drop my oldest off at school
and then go on the way back past the David Lloyd
and drop in in there for an hour.
And that was like up to about six months ago,
I was absolutely flying.
I was doing four or five days a week and I loved it.
I got home at 10.
It was like, I've done an hour in the gym
and the day's not even begun yet.
Yeah.
Because a few other bits and pieces have sort of happened,
you know, good like jobs or whatever.
I just haven't been able to get to the gym.
So that's just gone now.
So now I'm dog walking.
I'm a big dog walking fan of a lot.
Are you dropping your kids then,
still at 14 and 17.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're proper princesses.
And could they get the bus, so?
Or is it, oh, getting the bus?
Yeah, they could, yeah.
I mean, they are princesses.
My eldest, my 17-year-old to date,
when we were coming out of the house,
she went, I can't find my coat.
And I was like, oh, you know, what?
And she went, oh, no, there it is.
And my wife had put her coat on the radiator,
so it was warm.
Oh, my word.
Oh, wow.
Oh, man.
They are not your traditional talk sport listener.
That's unbelievable.
That's unbelievable.
And I was like, why is Michael not on the radio?
What's that in that?
But that's, I think it's nice.
So if you can do it, why not do it?
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
I think if you're already at work, fair enough,
and maybe you've just got to go.
But if you're laying in a warm bed
and your kids waiting at a bus stop,
you know, I agree.
Why not get up and see them before school?
Yeah, don't you see them otherwise, will you?
Yeah, I think the world's shitty enough.
If you can just add a little bit of love in it somewhere,
I think that's quite nice.
Yeah, because I, you know,
I used to get the night bus home from, like, nights out,
and it's quite dangerous.
I was at 17, 18.
And the thought of letting my daughter do that now.
I just sort of feel like, well, it's like,
oh, it's character building.
I was like, no, it's just dangerous.
You don't want that kind of.
No, I totally leave it at the ground floor.
Thank you very much.
I totally agree with you.
I mean, that analogy of laying in bed,
keeping a warm while there, stand that bust up.
I just couldn't think of anything worse.
So I'm not doing anything.
Why would night?
Yeah, exactly.
And what about nights out, though, if you are in bed
and they're out late, especially the 17-year-old.
So the weekend,
I was out in town doing something
and then by the time I got back was about midnight
and I got into the house and I got a taxi can come and get me now
so I'm a taxi service as well on weekends.
But does part of you love that or is it?
Yeah, it's just mentally easier to think
I'm picking them up, they're not getting in a camp.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Or getting a train or a bus.
It's just like I'm doing nothing.
Why wouldn't I do it?
I mean, they are flesh and blood, right?
They are the most...
Exactly, you're not going to sleep properly anyway
knowing that they're waiting for a bus at 11 o'clock from their mates' house.
So you might as well just get them and get them in.
And do you have like, did you ever do like that thing
where you can track where they are on their phone and stuff like that?
Yeah, so when my eldest was about four or three,
I took her to a play group, the first ever play group I took her to.
And she was there for like three hours.
And I went to go and get a coffee around the corner and wait for it there.
And so when I took her in,
It was the first time I'd ever done it.
And I said to the room, genuinely, I said to the woman,
do I get like a receipt or anything?
You looked at me and I was nuts.
I went, I just need proof to, she's here, right?
If I come back in three hours and she's not here.
And she's looking at him out, I'm mental.
But I was thinking, well, hold on,
this is the most important thing in the world that I have that I are.
And I'm just going to, if it was, if it was like,
if you were a dry cleaners,
I'd get a receipt for a pair of trousers, right?
Yeah.
And they were like, no, you don't get a receipt.
I'm like, all right, okay.
so
do you think
they should bring that in
yeah
I think you should get a receipt
kick me and drop them off
or like a little number
like a coat
a cloak room
and then you've forgotten
your ticket
and they're like
I'm sorry
yeah
but I can see it
it's the blonde one
at the back
no no no no no
no no no no
no mate
don't take you
I did buy
I had a clear out
look at this
you've had a clear out
yeah
I know
you've had a clear out
and that joke
this is tidy by the way
Yeah, fair enough.
I've found this.
I've done this to work audio-wise, but people are watching it.
This can explain it.
This is a GPS tracker that I bought when my eldest was about five or six
and went on a school trip.
It's like a little key ring, but it's a GPS tracker, yeah, like an air tag.
Exactly that, but it was like way before air tag.
Yeah, it's big, isn't it?
Considering the size of an air tag these days.
Yeah, and I put it in her backpack.
Obviously, she was unaware, on her first,
a chip. And then when I was at the score gates
waiting for them all to come back, one of the mums
went, I wonder how far away they are? And I went,
she's 17 meters away. And she's like,
and I was like, yeah, 16,
40. Like, Rob,
with Final Destination. How's he doing it?
It's so good. Have you seen the new one? Did you watch the new one?
We've just finished three, I think.
Oh my God, the newest one's so good.
It's amazing. I saw it in a
cinema in Coventry alone. I couldn't
do the cinema on my own. There's a few things
I can't do. I couldn't go out for dinner on my own
cinema. I'll find it a bit weird.
Well, you could not be a comedian.
Oh, yeah, of course you're on the road. Yeah.
Yeah, I wouldn't do it out of choice, but
okay, I'll give you this day. You wake up
in an industrial estate at a hotel that is
absolutely dominated by snooker fans
and pool fans that have been at some sort of pool event.
And I know you're a big fan of that, but
if you go to the bar, it's quite full of any snooker players there?
No, it was more like a weird fan event.
Hold on. You're not talking about Milton Keyes, you?
No, this was.
Coventry.
Coventry, I think.
It might have been Milton Keynes
on the way up to Coventry.
No, you wouldn't have stayed in Milton Keynes.
No, I was driving.
It's an hour off from London.
Yeah, no, I was going somewhere.
Anyway, you wake up in the morning
in an industrial estate, Andy,
and you've got to be leaving Coventry
at 5 o'clock in the afternoon
to go to your next gig, and you check out.
First, you have a word with your tour booker
and say, surely there was a better hotel.
So what you're doing on that industrial estate?
If you've got another option than KFC and cinema alone,
I'll take it.
you buy your ticket though do you pretend that you're waiting for someone do you buy like i think cinema on
your own during the day is i think cinema's one of the ones which is all right actually i i could do
cinema i can do restaurant yeah i i've done music gig that's tougher that's tougher oh i couldn't do music
gig um football i have you done football i could do football alone until did you go to coventry
you went to coventry on saturday rob yeah i went with
a friend.
You remember me
a friend.
I'd struggle
with football,
yeah.
What did you
do the air coat to
a friend?
What sort of
friend was it?
It's a bit weird
with it was how
I'm going to
me mate Dave or
something like that.
Well,
yeah,
but that's because
when you go
your mate Dave,
that's because
you go somewhere
every week.
I was in,
well, this is,
when I say friend,
I say a very new friend
where I text Lloyd
because basically
when I'm on tour
I need to feel the day.
Have you got any
other friends
other than Lloyd Griffith?
A couple,
but he knows everyone in football
so I went Lloyd
who's a Coventry fan
You went on a blind date to Coventry City
Yeah
Wow
I'd go on my own
Who's a commentary fan
And he went
And he told me a few
The people that are Coventry fans
And he went
Oh a friend of mine John
Josh Pew
Yeah he's a common fan
This guy called John Dawkins
He's a music manager
He was a manager of the enemy
Do you know him?
The enemy
Fuck
You know he didn't know
In Coventry
He used to manage him
Now he manages Tom Brennan
And a few other people
Anyway
So, Lloyd went, he's a really good bloke.
He can sort you out of ticket.
I think he's got a box.
Right.
So I went, oh, yeah, I'll be up for that.
Again, the other option is line in a hotel room, potentially wanking myself to death.
So I have to leave the building.
Yeah.
You're not going to waint yourself to death at Coventry City with a stranger.
No, not by the way they scored goals.
It was unreal.
Top of the league.
Ten points clear.
Anyway, so he followed me on Instagram.
I'm running back and said, I'm up for Coventry if you can get to sort of your spare ticket.
And anyway, you contacted the club.
We got invited to the ballroom.
He ended up watching it with Doug King.
And, yeah, so we had a brilliant time,
and they were really welcome him
and had a great time at Coventry,
and I had a great day.
And I think, though, that kind of approach to life
opens up doors, yeah.
I went on a blind date of a man.
He picked me up, dropped me off.
We had a great dad.
Did you hug or what?
You know what?
Actually, I was a bit worried
because I thought, I don't know this bloke.
He works in music.
It could be an absolute record,
because you know what the music industry is like.
But he was really nice and normal.
got on really well to the point
where actually at the end
either of us could have said
should we be actual friends
but it feels too full on
when will you see him again
when will I see him again
I'd say text from him
we've been texting yeah
when did you last text
so when did you last text
so I took a photo
of us at the thing
and then he was getting loads of grief
because we got put on Sky Sports
and it was me with him
and anyway
I took a photo of us at the thing
and then I messaged to my Instagram
and he went, oh can you send that to me on my phone
because it's disappeared.
What?
Because on Instagram if you send photos
they don't always stay the whole time.
It's like a one view for a fucking fishing scam here, right?
So now, so then I sent it to him and we've been messaging.
Did he say, can you send me a photo and £500 in cash?
No, he didn't.
I sent in the photo and he said,
thank, little thumbs up, thanks mate.
And then I did message him saying 4-2 unstoppable
and he gave me a little voice note about Coventry.
And a voice note, he's coming on strong, isn't it?
He's a big voice note guy, actually.
You know why?
Why?
Because he wants one back.
Yeah, so that he can play it to his mates.
Yeah, I'm not a big voice note guy.
So I said.
Why then you just speak now?
Yeah.
And then he can chop that up out the podcast,
and he can pretend you've sent him a voice note for his mates.
What should I send him?
Just say, hi, John.
He's your friends now.
Should I say that?
I love you.
I'm missing you.
Yeah.
Go on.
No, he's.
Missing you is really mental.
We'll stay quiet.
I'm not saying I'm missing you.
Go on then.
No, no.
What do you mean go on then?
What am I saying?
You're the riffmeister, Rob.
We're doing really well, hoping to play Premier League football next season.
We'd love to go to another game with you again soon.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Hi, John.
Rob here.
Just want to say, like, really enjoyed the game at Coventry
and we'd love to go to another game again soon.
Miss you.
Great.
There's no way you sent that.
There's no way you sent that.
Done.
Oh my God.
Oh, no.
All right.
If he sends one back and it ends with Miss you too, then.
Oh, God, yeah.
Do you know the worst thing, Rob?
He's going to take that of face value
and then his mates are going to go,
I tell you what, I heard that filming our podcast.
They were right ripping Rob.
God, having that message.
I've really got caught in the moment there.
I feel so alive, but so nervous.
Has it been blue-ticked, yeah?
I don't think he's got to read within seconds when he sees you've sent him a voice now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's not been that excited since the enemy released.
I can't remember their fucking single.
What was their single called?
Live and Die in these towns.
Oh.
He's, so I think he'll listen to that and think, okay, I had a good time, but that was a bit much.
Oh, God, he's three dots.
I've got three dots.
I've got three dots
He's got
Oh no
Loads of laughy faces
That's crack me up
He said
Miss you too mate
You pick a game
And we can hold hands
And skip in together
Oh
He seems like a nice guy
It's based in London Rob
Yeah he is
Best one of the favour
On the fly
Just send a heart emoji on it
Just a heart emoji
Yeah
Lovely
Oh there we go
I'm gonna have to
Tell him what's going on here
No I don't think
Hi, John.
He's lying.
He can't hear us.
John, I'm on the podcast.
Andy Goldstein and Josh Riddaker made me send that first voice note.
The Missue bit was a bit full on, but I did enjoy the football and hopefully it goes another game.
See you later, mate.
Oh, my God.
It's embarrassing.
See you like.
Oh, that failed to upload.
Oh, God.
Oh, anyway, right.
I'll sort that out later.
So, what kind of holidays do with your kids?
That's amazing.
Are your kids into sport, Andy?
Because obviously it's such a huge part of your life.
Are they interested in it?
My eldest isn't at all.
My little one plays football and hockey, and she runs.
Oh, wow.
She loves her sport, the little one.
Although, annoyingly, at the weekend,
she was running around the lounge, claiming a dog,
and then all of a sudden we had a big thud.
Yeah.
She stubbed her toe, and my wife took to A&E yesterday.
Fucking out.
Oh, God.
She's broken her toe.
So she can't do anything for six weeks.
She loves dancing as well,
so she can't do anything for six weeks,
so she's devastated.
Did you support, Andy?
I'm a Manchester United fan.
And have you managed to pass that on?
Yes.
You have.
I took them to Old Trafford to see May Nighter play Spurs
a few seasons back when Ronaldo played.
Oh, wow.
And as we come out, she said,
is it like this every week?
And I went, yeah, this is the way of ten years ago.
because you used to work up there loads
didn't you used to do a show from MUTV
where you were at every home game, is that right?
Yes.
And away or just home?
Away ones as well, but we do the away ones from Old Trafford as well.
Yeah, so you have to go to Manchester basically every week
and you're based in London, is that right?
Yeah, and so it just took its toll
because they're long days, I'm leaving five o'clock in the morning
and I'm getting home at 1 o'clock in the morning.
And it is...
At weekends as well when that's important.
So is that the reason why you're still?
step back from that.
That's exactly the reason, yeah.
I really love doing it.
I really did.
And even as like a grown adult standing on the pitch
and seeing young kids behind you like a 22 playing for me,
he's warming up.
I'm still a bit like, oh, get that.
Look at him behind him.
Yeah, of course.
He never goes.
It's like Rob, when he sees John from Coventry,
he's got a similar reaction.
Oh, me and the dog, he's actually replied.
I told him what you wound me up.
And he said, Goldstein, great hair.
Josh, my mate who I said looks like him,
manages Pete Doher to.
He does look like.
Oh yeah, I've met him. I've got his number.
Jazz. Yeah, him. You look like him, apparently.
You know what? Talking of great hair,
I don't know if you're aware of it, lads, but I have Goldstein's Golden Paste is out now.
Oh, so is this what you're plug? You're on promo?
Yeah.
So you've got your own head.
And we can't see that because it's reflecting in your, have you got one of the...
Oh, that's it. Goldstein's golden paste.
You've got your own hair.
Yeah. Talk to us about that then.
Okay.
So about six months ago, I contacted the...
this guy, Damon Barber, who owned it,
who made unbelievable award-winning hair products and said,
what's he called?
Damon.
Damon Barber?
Yeah.
And he works in hair?
Yeah.
Well, I'm guessing that.
I mean, that's not his name.
Oh, sorry.
And I said, I've got the best head of hair that anyone you've ever seen
of my age or any age for that matter.
I should have my own hair product.
And I agree with you.
And then so we put one together.
Yeah.
And it's incredibly successful.
And I think, in my own opinion, it's a great stocking filler.
Right.
Where can you, where can you pocket?
Like, how do you come up with the paste?
Like, are you doing, you know, like in The Apprentice where they're like mixing it up and stuff?
Were you doing that in, like, factory?
He was doing that.
He sent me a load of different samples and he said, what do you think of these?
And I'll go, I like the smell of that.
I like the texture that.
But the hold of this one's no good.
I tried this one all day and by about two o'clock, nothing was left.
And then eventually we came up with what he's now called.
all this thing's golden paste.
I don't know.
Damonbaba.com you can buy it from.
How much is it a tub?
I think it's 34 pounds.
Whoa.
Hold on,
lad.
Buy cheap,
buy twice.
Yeah,
and it's a big old tub.
It's a big old tub.
How many months do you think
people are getting out of a tub?
You'll get over 300 applications with it.
A hundred applications,
that's almost a year.
Would you like to send you both one?
Yeah.
Yeah, I would actually.
I'll take a golden paste.
Okay.
I'd take a golden pace.
I think you both look good
with my pace in your hair.
Oh, there he goes.
There he bloody goes.
Yeah.
Next question.
Have you had to play the father to,
has either of your children had a boyfriend
and you've had to be a kind of
or girlfriend or girlfriend?
And you've had to play that role yet.
Boys are a big part of their world.
My little one is,
I think she wants a boyfriend.
She's on the apps.
She's not on the apps yet.
My,
they haven't got,
they haven't got,
you answer your question is my oldest has had a boyfriend before.
I met him once.
She was going into town with him,
so I met them,
I dropped her at the station.
I can't have a walk into the station.
And I shook his hand,
and I gave it a little bit more.
That's a beautiful voice.
and went, look after it today.
And he went, okay.
Oh, poor kid.
If you're to mark your normal handshake out of 10 squeeze-wise
and that hand shake out of 10 squeeze-wise,
what are we looking at?
Probably normal as an 8, I think it's important.
Okay, you're quite heavy with a hand.
A heavy one of them, are you?
I met a friend of mine's daughter's boyfriend.
But when he shook my hand for the first time,
he was like he was passing me a salmon.
I didn't know him, and I went, listen.
that needs to improve.
It needs to be...
Oh, God, that's real toxic.
Yeah.
Kids don't know how important
that handshake is, right?
Is it?
Is it that important?
How soft was it?
It might be in talks more towers
when Darren Goff seeing you in a lift,
but like...
No, no, no, no.
A good handshake, come on.
Do you know where they do good handshakes
and big strong hands, Australia?
Because all of the people there
play cricket or Aussie rules football.
So they've got big strong hands.
They don't...
You farm a ball.
can't do keep you up ease, but they can rip your hand off
in a handshake. I don't like a
handshake where you feel like someone's trying to prove something.
I always think, what's wrong with
you? What are you trying to...
I know what you mean. I don't mean that.
I just...
Not a squeeze, just firm.
Yeah. I always struggle...
Heavy, not hard.
I always struggle
when I shake a woman's hand.
Because I sort of turn it around...
Not a problem of talk sport.
Princess Guy Allen.
What?
That's a not of the problem.
at dog sport.
No, there's plenty of women
that work for talk sport.
And he's shaking all their hands.
And he's shaking all their hands.
And I'm shaking.
So what do you do with a woman's hand?
I sort of, I don't know why,
but I sort of turn it.
Right.
Like that.
It goes into like 17th century.
And then do you kiss her
on the top of the hand?
I just go into,
and then I always go,
sorry, I'd never know
how to shake a woman's hand.
And then that's really weird,
I think.
Yeah.
Just shake it the same.
No, I think that's rude.
yeah but the way you're squeezing it
but just maybe go a bit softer
what about the kiss on a cheek
of a woman on the cheek
I think no just handshake
the problem with the kiss on the cheek
is if you go once
and they lean in for the second
yeah yeah fresh
oh what's happening now
also as well when you meet people
on a night out and they've got
women got a lot of makeup on
or a TV show they've got a lot of makeup on
if you get too close you can ruin their makeup
and then get it on your clothes
same for Jordan
so on
Exactly like Simon Jordan.
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Out of all the people you've met,
because you've met loads of people on TalkSport,
and to you fair,
you've got an incredible sort of phone book
where you get like exclusives from like Noel Gallagher
and stuff like that,
and obviously Robbie Williams is a good friend of yours.
Who out of all the sort of famous people and athletes that you've met
has gone too hard with a hand?
Is there any one that stands out?
I bet Eddie or Barry Hearn.
I bet that's a handshake and a half.
I bet Barry Eiff.
urns wobbles up and down a lot. Barry
Barry's coming in tomorrow, actually,
so I can test that one out. Yeah.
They've both got great handshakes. They're old school, right?
If you could text
Rob, they spit out before a deal.
Tell him an update on Barry Hurons
handshake, then we'll pop it in the intro to this episode.
Yeah. I was in your voice note.
Of Barry Hearns. And then maybe, yeah, maybe
getting to review yours would be quite good.
All right. I'll film the whole thing for you. Yeah, that'll be
fine. Just pop it on a YouTube for us.
I can tag us in, monetize it.
Thank you very much.
That will be a page soon, isn't it?
You know I am in London to test out people's handshakes.
People will be fucking watching that for days.
Oh, do you know what?
That's a great little real series for you.
London Bridge.
London Bridge.
Because you're famously, it's a handshakes.
You know what really fucking is?
There's so much shit on social media.
Like, people are running out ideas.
The thing I hate is close your eyes
and open them when you hear a centre off
you'd like to play alongside.
Yeah.
You just see if a friend are going like that.
and then opening
Marcel this eye
what fuck's important of that
people read out stuff to us now
well you could actually see them
like coming off of like these pundits
finishing a whole shift of punditry
and the socials person grabs him
and they go right
one to ten and you can see like Roy King go
ugh
exactly that
you've got to feel for that pun
you've got to feel for that poor little social media kid
he's 23
he's fresh out of a media degree
at Bournemouth uni
and suddenly he's having to corner
Jamie Carriger to ask him
what the worst away ground is.
Yeah.
Or one I hate is,
can you blind rank these strikers?
And then they go,
first one is like,
messy,
you go,
oh,
is that going to be?
Like,
no,
no,
it's just guff,
isn't it?
Yeah.
But, you know,
keeps me and Josh Fett.
Anyway,
we're looking forward
to the handshake series,
Andy,
and when's it?
Honestly,
if you do talk sport
with Andy Golds
doing the handshake series
and you could do the face...
Goldstein's golden handshakes.
Oh,
but it'll be pathetic.
It'll be like,
Oh, Andy, quick, quick, come downstairs.
Simon Cowles on Chris Evans.
We need to get his handshake.
You're still mocking, right?
What will happen?
It will be really successful.
And in about a year's time,
one of you or both of you will be trying to get to me going,
I hope you're after the hand shake.
Yeah, that's what would happen.
Andy, do you want to come on the handshake shows on?
The Mr. Handshake, you've basically got, he's career.
Yeah.
Was it bad, not ban, what, that was...
Banzai?
Mr. Shaky hands, right?
How long did you have?
And yeah.
Well, no, it's not about length.
It's about grip.
All right.
I promise you, I will video it tomorrow.
And you know, like the blind, you know,
Dave Portnoy is to do the pizza review.
You just do handshake reviews.
What about people that you can shake their hand?
And then with the other hand, they grab the eye.
I hate that.
That's very Trump.
Yeah, it goes last.
Exactly.
Yeah, that'd be.
And also just random city boys coming into London Bridge.
They'll have some wild handshakes.
Yeah.
And what do you feel about like a kind of a handshake into a hug, Andy?
what from who give me a scenario uh Barry Hearn tomorrow
handshake into a hug
you know that's more of like there's not a handshake it's more of like the
oh the that one the that one yeah like the arm wrestle
dap lean in I always sometimes you'll go for the handshake and someone will go
no oh come on come on I don't it's in my head it's Tom Davis do you know what I mean
that kind of okay I always find that the bigger the person the more they want to hug you
you.
Yeah, like this
show of power
like I'm bigger than you
so I can
like where this goes.
I don't like
handshakes from me
I always
if someone comes up
Oh whoa
well you fucking change your tune
ain't you?
No,
I've always been like that
You used to love handshakes
You're telling me
how hard you do them
No, if someone comes up to me
in the street
that I don't know
and wants a handshake
I always say I'm a fist pumper
and just
Pump or bumper
fist pumper or bumper
fist pump
Anything other than a handshake
right,
up of a Vladimir Critchco
You're going to have to change that if you become
Britain's number one handshaker.
Like, it's going to be a difficult argument
when your main fame is that you're the handshake.
That'll be the big sort of news on Pop Bitch.
There'll be stories that Andy Goldstein
secretly loves fist bump,
he doesn't actually like the handshake.
But Clitchco only does fist bombs
to stop getting germs.
I quite like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I quite like that.
Anyway, so what other stuff do your kids do?
Homework?
Lots of homework.
Lots of homework.
How bothered are you about academics?
Because I feel like you're more of the, you know.
Let him on to Rob.
Let's not steer him.
Let's see what he says.
What was your question?
What are you like around education and school?
Because I feel like you're a bit more of the school of life kind of guy
than you are bothered about.
He's steering him again.
He's desperate for Andy to.
No.
Your question will have no influence on my answer.
I just want to make that clear.
Thank you.
Both my kids go to provide.
And also your answer will have no impact to my next question as well,
just so you know.
Yeah, because Rob's already
thinking about the handshake stuff.
I already know the answer
and I'm getting ready for the next one.
That's how my brain works.
Both my kids go to private school at the moment
or not at the moment they've to do.
For a week?
I'm at the price of it nowadays.
Depending how the budget plays out.
Yeah, you're right.
My little one's very much like me.
I think she'll do really well in life
but not necessarily because she's studied really hard.
And my little one is incredible,
Like my big one's frighteningly clever.
About three or four years ago,
the light was on at the bottom of the door
about 11 o'clock at night on a school night.
You know, so you know the lights on in the room.
Yeah, my wife opened the door.
We call the eldest boo, and it named boo.
And my wife went, boo, it's like 11 o'clock at night,
why are you up?
And she said, with the iPad in front of us,
you went, I'm so sorry, I was just teaching myself Japanese.
Oh, wow.
And she was.
The little one would be in the other room,
like ordering the Chinese.
That's the difference between the two of them.
Right.
One's Japan, one's China.
Did they get on?
They really get on.
COVID was a tough time for a lot of kids.
A lot of kids suffered because they didn't get on.
I mean, their best of friends.
They, in fact, throughout that period,
they then decided to sleep together every night.
They were young together during the day.
They were literally side by side all the time.
And it was only about two and a half years ago
that they sort of like went right every night
we're going to go back to her
so they missed each other
you know it's really tough
oh that's lovely
and what about when they have play dates
with their other or not play days
they're older now but when they've got their friends over
do they clash that's where I find
ours clash a bit while they're all joining together
they all join in yeah
I'm really lucky they're just
so are you a great parent or you've been lucky
what's going on Annie because it feels like you've
the kids are in a good space of that
or you're married to a great parent
my wife's unbelievable with it
my wife's incredible with it
She does most of the sort of, well, she does all the whole.
You see the default parent, you'd say.
She picks them up from school, and I don't see until eight, half past eight.
All the school problems, when they come out of the gates, and they, oh, this happened to this.
She's dealing with it all.
Do you live in London, Andy?
Just outside.
I live in Essex, yeah.
So you've got a commuting every day and then?
Yeah, but it's an easy commute.
It's 40 minutes, and it's really quick.
Do you race home for the evening, or do you've got to?
consider like.
I'll get a train.
Rodd knows that already.
Which time train is it, Rob?
Yeah, it's C to C.
C, um, a quarter past six.
I meet Rob every night, actually.
Yeah, yeah, just for a degree for about the show,
my favourite thing that needs improving, quick handshake.
I'm going to get a film tomorrow, right?
It's going to be final destination.
Can you remind?
Yeah, no problem.
Yeah, find it.
Blood Florence.
There you go.
That's what he does.
Andy, is it the final question we ask everyone this.
Now, you've already said your partner's amazing,
but what one thing does she do that makes you go,
oh my God, she's an amazing parent?
Can't believe I have her with me being a parent.
And what's the one thing she does that if she was to listen,
that you find a bit annoying and frustrating?
And if you was listening, she'd go, yeah, you might have a point there.
Why would anyone answer that second question?
Because they're in a really confident, comfortable relationship,
and, you know, they're in a relaxed position where communication is key
and they can take criticism.
But, you know, if you don't want to do that,
because you're really falling apart, that's fine.
Oh, their wife going through the menopause
when they answer that question.
By the law of averages,
we must have hit that at one point, yeah.
I think that should be the third question.
Yes, is your wife going through the menopause?
Yeah.
Okay, well, we'll get that first.
Question one.
Is your wife going through the menopause?
Yeah.
Cool.
And how is that?
She's absolutely fine.
Yeah, good.
Good, perfect.
She deals with it, yeah.
Strong handshake every morning
and then you get on with your lives.
A lot of those don't understand how bad that can be, by the way.
Yes, absolutely, yeah.
I think it's a bit sort of skimmed over.
But it's, I wouldn't want it.
Do I mean, if you look to my diary, it was menopause this week.
I think that's a great t-shirt.
Menopause, I won it.
Well, we can skip the negative one then, but what's positive?
In answer to your first question, what does she do?
I don't know if everyone or no one's answered like this, but everything.
she does absolutely everything
my missis
like without a doubt
my rock
she does absolutely everything
from
from breakfast to the morning
for the kids
to dinner waiting for me
to just every
she does everything
really sort of
like all my kids
are as great as they are
it's all down to her
she's fantastic
so is there a hot dinner
waiting for you
every single day
when you get in
yeah
I mean it's because
she's made for her
and the kids
and mine's in the oven
yeah
but she's she's fantastic
she's fantastic
she's fantastic
although
You can leave it if you want now, Andy.
No, the one thing.
I've mentioned it.
Yeah.
But it's sort of, I'm going to kick myself in the nuts of it
because it's such a tiny thing,
but it makes me go, why?
So this is really small,
but on the work surface in our kitchen,
there's a little box where you put food
when you finish eating your dinner, right?
Yeah.
And in that box is a bag.
Yeah.
And when she takes that bag out,
and does it up and takes it to the bin
whilst making the house look perfect
yeah
forgets to put a new bag in
and I find myself having to do that
oh and I think you should have remained silent
yeah that does that did come across quite badly actually
I don't understand why
Reid's terrible that
why
I love it take
well but if she's already doing everything
yeah
yeah but exactly if you're doing everything
do everything
or don't make your mind up
see one or the other
that'll be it'll be the bag in there
do you ever
do you ever put like
like the roll of the bags at the bottom
so that's already in there you can just do it from
then they get the bag juice on them
yeah they don't like that bag juice
I don't like that bag juice on
yeah that's the thing you've decided to
but the bags are
a meter I've measured it a meter away
right and it's yeah
when you were made
measuring it, could you've been putting a bag in the box
rather than measuring the distance that your wife hasn't
travelled? I just put the bag in
and I thought, well, and as I opened the door,
you think I'm joking about it, as I open the door, there was
a tape measure. Right. I'm just
curious what the... Yeah, well, the distance is
one metre. Yeah.
And I thought, should I use that in an argument
or not? Yeah.
What did your wife say when you brought it out?
Quite soon.
I haven't bought it out.
She's going to get you felters after this.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
if she's listening maybe learn from it
I'm going to tell you now
she may not be listening but a hundred percent
someone that knows her is
that's getting back that's getting back
have you both answered that question
too? Yes numerous times
at different points over the podcast because
you know stuffed pages
at the moment the thing that's frustrating me about
Lou would be she used
zip lock things to put the Christmas decorations up
but on the banisters of the stairs
but she snips them off and they're pointing up
so we have now got razor blade sharp bits of plastic
so I've cut my palm
why don't you swing them around?
We need to and I said why don't I do that
and then she said no wait till I'm home so I can do it
but then she didn't do it yesterday
so they're still on there but she won't allow me to do it
because I might not do it the right why
so this morning I don't know can you?
I mean literally it's just spinning it
yeah exactly but she's pulled it so tight that you have to snip off and go again
and so yeah so me and my daughter's too tight and you've raised two problems there
and me and my daughter have got cut hands at the moment and she won't let you fix it yourself
really isn't it but I think abuse is a strong word well you're you're getting cut
you and your daughter are getting slashed to pieces yeah pretty much
because what's yours um she's just cold and
doesn't love me.
You knew that when you said yes.
Yeah.
To the wedding.
Right, Andy, thank you so much.
Good, thank you, Golden Hair Paste.
And what time's your show on TalkSport for those?
Until seven weekdays.
There you go.
And how about it by the hair paste?
That's very kind of at Damon Barber.com or
in a couple of Wednesday's this guy out in a few weeks, right?
Don't know.
No idea.
Okay, you're available at next.com.
Oh.
Yes, thank you.
And also Amazon.
Nice.
Oh, heard of it.
It's a biggie.
Good luck of it.
I will, what I'll do?
I'll send you both a pot.
Yes, please.
I'll waive the bill.
I don't remember that.
Absolutely.
I'm not paying 34 quid for a bit of your gunk.
And I will send you a video of me shaking hands.
That's what I'm here.
Please.
Thank you very much, Andy.
Right, Andy, see you next time.
God bless you.
