Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S11 EP4: I had a dream about Romesh

Episode Date: August 18, 2025

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week you'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.

Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting wo. Because let's be honest, There are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parents in Hell with... Rhys, can you say Josh Whittacom? Ice cream, can you say Rob Beckett?

Rob Beckett. Oh, very good, well done, Rhys. That was nice. Difficult to impress that, Dad, isn't it? This is very quick. Did he say Josh, ice cream? It's not like ice cream. Go on out and go? Reese, can you say

Josh Whittacom Ice cream ice cream Just ice cream Just ice cream Beckett Oh, very good Well done, Rhys

That dad He feels difficult to please Oh yeah Very good Yeah Yeah well that felt like a very chilled environment Well done Well done

Ned he loves you Fuck off I fucking do Like a fucking loser Desper for love Gentle parenting Pussy Hi Rob

Josh Michael, this is a little clip of our daughter Reese, age two and a half. Oh, okay. Is that a girl's name? It is. It's 2025, go for it. It's spelled also like the shop. You know, Reese, the clothes shop?

Yeah. She's recently discovered the joy of stringing sentences together, mostly involving demands for cheese or spontaneous renditions of Twinkle, Twinkle or Old McDonald. Thanks so much for the endless laughs, relate to all stories and genuinely helpful advice. Your show has made many chaotic bedtimes and long car journey is infinitely more bearable. enjoy the audio from our tiny dictator thanks tom and kim braham

brayam said like graham he's just put it in said like graham location amothby near malton north i don't think you're just making up fucking spellings and places i don't think you can say you're near malta you if you're going to say it's near somewhere that place has to be the place that everyone knows leads yeah you can't be near somewhere that we also don't know so what's what yorkshire north yorkshire yeah what's the Amotha B. Amotha B? Amotha B?

Jesus Christ. Just have a Sharon from York. Do you ever, I remembered someone from uni the other day? I don't like. I love remembering people that I forgot I hated. Yeah, yeah, it's great. He's been a real fucking pep. Yeah, I love it.

And then I realized that he's got a really like a name that's like, oh, I can just Google him because he's got a really rare name. Oh, and then you can sort of hate stalk. Yeah, I can hate stalk. He only had a LinkedIn. I need to sign up to LinkedIn. because I eternally get to LinkedIn. Why don't we do it for the podcast?

Why don't we both have a LinkedIn and see what we, because I've never had a LinkedIn. Neither have I because I'm not a nerd. Maybe I need to get LinkedIn. Hey, they're not nerds. They're bloody networking business people. Have any comedians got LinkedIn? Surely not.

I think I accidentally signed up to one when I did something else, but I've never used, I need a proper, I'm going to do my LinkedIn and go, entrepreneur media mogul Rob Beckett and then people can connect love your stuff let's connect

on LinkedIn how do they connect on LinkedIn I don't know you can ever see are you on LinkedIn Michael you're the business or any members of the team in head office

on LinkedIn like when you've recruited all of our the background team are you on LinkedIn I'm not on LinkedIn I've never had a job interview you've never had a job interview

well so how did you get your first job You was a TV show editor, weren't you? And you are the opposite. Your background is the opposite of having connections. Yeah, that's true, yeah. Well, you're from the Isle of Wight. I mean, unless you want to, you know, free... There's no way that you're a nepo baby.

Unless you want to snuck into Black Gang Chine. This guy's got nothing to offer. Or Robin Hill Park. Yeah, man, I can get you into Black Gang, John. You want to go down there? Toboggan. I'm your man. Some really good local there.

That would rip in Shanklin. Oh, mate. If I was in the Shanklin, I'll be fucking... but I'll be black gang chining all over the audience. Yeah, whereas I don't know what you're talking about. And initially, I was worried that you were going to get us cancelled. Oh, that may, I've just got us recommissioned in the Al-A-Wite. Black Gang Chine's an old theme park place that, like, or adventure part,

it's not like a theme, it's not like Al-N-Sowers. It's suffered over the decades from, like, coastal erosion. What, Black-Gan-Chine or Alawite? Yeah, Black-Gang Chine, or both. The whole of the Ola-Wite, but Black-Gang-Chine in particular, because of where it's located, you now go into the entrance, take a hard left, and then come back out of the park, because they've had to relocate the whole park outside of where the park used to be.

Oh, that's like when they build a new tube station, isn't it? And you go, oh, here's London Bridge. You get down there, walk for 15 minutes ago. Don't talk to me about fucking Tottenham Court Road. God, let's talk to you about it. Go on. Then we'll find out how Michael got a job in TV. Actually, I'll tell you about Tottenham Court Road on Friday night, Rob.

Oh, yeah. What am I doing on Friday? On Friday, what happened to me at Tottenham Court Road on Friday. Oh, right, I thought you were saving it for when we were meeting on Friday night. It's good on Friday night to talk about Tottenham Court Road. Absolutely. It's not good enough for the show, but it's good enough for face-to-face. You can really sell it face-to-face.

Get a couple of drinks down on me. I went to a show on my own on Friday night. Like a theatre show. Yeah. Why is that? I had to get off at Tottenham Court Road. Do you remember when I said I was interviewing Kayala Settle? Yes, for Radio 2.

Yeah. I couldn't find someone to come with me. I've got a group where it's like Oasis tickets. or Fontaine's DC tickets. And then I was like, does anyone want to come to watch five drag artists pretending to be Princess Diana in the Dynamics tape?

Well, I can give you three names there. Tom Allen and his boyfriend, Alfie, and my wife, Lou. They'd be all over that. Well. All over that, like a tourist from South East London trying to get up Black Gang Chine. So I got there.

I was an hour early by mistake, so I had to just go and walk around Soho. That is also as well. That kind of show, it feels like you're a closet gay performer that's trying to come out. Yeah, it really does feel like. And you've got the same hair as Princess Diana.

He just missing a dress. So then I went, I went and had, I sat on my own in a falafel place and had dinner. And then I went into, I still had half an hour. Foils was open, so I thought I'll go and walk around the bookshop. Yeah. I bought a book about what it's like to be on the tennis circuit. And then I didn't,

get a bag, so now I was carrying a book, which was a mistake. Right, so you're just holding a tennis book in the queue alone to a drag shot about Princess Diana? Yeah. Cool. And then I got to the front and he said, yeah, I was like, here's the ticket, he's like, yeah. If you go downstairs and they'll show you to your table. And I was like, no. Is it so a theatre, sir?

No. No, it was like an almost like a music venue. Okay. Yeah. So you had a table alone? front centre No Listen you're very professional

This is great research Radio too Because I definitely would have pretended to have gone And blacked it Yeah So there was like a walkway down the middle And I was like On the edge of that walkway at the front

Are you sharing the table with anyone? Well if I was Like judging by the position You're talking Anna Wintor You know what the position she always has No but no I've got three empty seats next to me at the table. Shout out to the two people on the table next to us

who lent over and said gobble, gobble. And then I kind of shifted so that I was with their table a bit so that I didn't look like I was on my own. Yes, oh, that's nice. Anyway, got away with it. There was no audience stuff, thank God. Oh, yeah. Because I did ask the, I said to the waiter,

am I going to be a target here? If I'm a drag performer and I see TV's Josh Whittaker sat alone of a tennis book. That's the crowdbook stuff. Was it a good show? I enjoyed it. It was a really fun show. The best thing about going on your own is literally the moment it finished

I had my coat on and I was leaving. And there was no like, oh, that was great. She's going for a drink after. Yeah, there's none of that. And was Keala set to win that then? She's amazing. She must have been amazing to see that close up. Her voice is incredible.

Yeah, she was brilliant. She was incredible. Then she actually, overnight, she, due to a personal situation, she couldn't do radio too. So I'd gone for no reason. I does think of that, because I saw clips of you interviewing Sean Walsh doing Michael Backington's high repressions. So Sean Walsh came in last minute? Yeah. Oh, Josh.

So that was your Friday night? That was my Friday night. Jump on the tube back, tuck the court road. Right on the floor next to your son's bed. up and do the radio. Sean was good on that. Sean Walsh was well funny. He's great, isn't he?

He's brilliant. And you've dressed exactly the same. Yeah, that wasn't intentional. You both had a blue sort of dress shirt on your same glasses. A blue oxford shirt on, yeah. Your glasses and messy hair. Yeah. Messy hairs.

Well, no, but you've both got similar kind of. Yeah. And a lot of people thought we had the same voice as well. There was some people who thought I was interviewing myself. Yeah, I mean. which about an hour before the show started was the second option. One of the options. So what was wrong with Tottenham Court Road station?

No, I just think that the new Tottenham Court Road, Elizabeth Line bit, is too far from the Central Line Bit, but this is too London-centric. It's like bullshit, isn't it, where it's like... It's a different station. It is, and they just make you walk 10 minutes under the ground. Just because you're under the ground, it doesn't mean you're at the same station. How does all the world not fall in on? the tunnels that's what i don't get about tunnels why are we not just falling in onto the tunnels

because there's loads of tunnels there is i don't know there's one still there that aren't used anymore and also there's secret little raw mail tunnels oh yeah there is real mail tunnels you know about these little ones great brand to be fair role mail great brand great brand full backing oh you're fully into the raw mail hugely yeah it's just really weird well i've just recently done an advert for them so i oh well that makes sense, yeah, that's fine then. I just thought out of nowhere you were. No, no, in case I was going to go in on the raw mail

and you've got to try to fend it. You wouldn't go in on the raw mail because there's nothing to go in on. Because they're so bloody good. That's so bloody good. Fair enough. Brilliant. Michael, how did you get in TV? That's what we're talking about.

We're going to set up a LinkedIn. And then we'll find out why you search that man. The short version is I was doing, I was a film school, working at the ordinary survey at the time. working at ordnance survey I set up to one of Josh Whitacombs jokes where they're based Southampton

What is the ordnance survey It's just a maps The guys that make the maps But basically my department I was overseeing Oh sorry mate Do you want to pop my dick back away Fucking hell

Here he is Captain Supervisor Fucking hell Because NDA's not worked Has he fucking He's not a head of HR A Coldplay concert That was the main mistake you made it would have been Travis back then

Trin breaks or something No so we basically Obviously back in the day Ordinent Survey maps were drawn either by hand or sort of from aerial photographs So what we were doing There was our whole team of us Mostly students basically working for like an hourly rate

From a recruitment agency We had to take the hand drawn images And they had been scanned into a computer And we had to then use this software And turn them into like a digital version And then that data and that information was what was being sold to like GPS companies and like map companies and stuff. But basically most of it, we just didn't know what we were doing. This is a load of like hungover 21-year-old students.

And you had to like allocate things where it would be like, is that a road, is that a brook, is that a river? Sometimes we just didn't know because you're looking at like a pencil outline that's been turned into computer dots. So you just go, that's probably just like a country path. And basically what happened was the data that we were creating and then the Ordnance Survey was selling to GPS companies didn't come into play. That wasn't active for about eight or nine years. I don't know if you remember, probably about 15 years ago

there was a series of stories of people's GPS basically telling them to turn right. They're getting trapped down. They were ending up in ditches and like in like Brooks. That was our team misallocating what we thought was like a side path on a farmland. But it wasn't. It was actually like a tiny little river. but the GPS, because we told it a decade earlier, that's probably a road.

It would go turn right here. It would just turn the car into a brook. Fucking out. Jesus Christ. What job out of school? So how did you do that into working on Paul O'Grady? So my friend who I did was on that film school was he had moved to a company in London called September Films because he wanted to be a screenwriter.

And he said, oh, they've got a job here if you want it as like a runner. So I was like, Oh, amazing. September films. I looked it up and it was, I wanted to work in film. And the guy who owned the company was the guy who directed the movie Buster with Phil Collins. Oh, yeah. About the train robbery. Yeah. And I thought, oh, great. This is a film company. Amazing. Quit my very nice, quite well-paying job for a 22-year-old in Southampton, an Ordnance Survey, moved everything to London, took on a lease on a flat. And it was one week's worth of runner work at this company, sorting out. And so I basically got my foot in the door, signed this lease. And they went, oh, no, no.

it's not just for a week i thought it was like a proper job so then every time they said oh can does anyone know how to do this i would just go yeah i do and then i didn't they'd go oh does anyone know how to edit and i went yeah yeah i do and then basically for the next week i would just spend the nights like studying up or reading books or like learning after hours love it how to use it basically just blagged my way into it and then off the back of that you know you get one job another series comes up in house you do another job so basically just say yes to everything and then learn it in the background. Well, I mean, it's a dangerous way, but it kind of, it works in the media.

I wouldn't do it if I was like a surgeon. Yeah, yeah, that's different. But I do think, yeah. And are you on LinkedIn? No, I've never been on LinkedIn. Honestly, I've never had an interview. The closest I came is I went in, I got the Polo Grady job because someone said they're looking for a junior editor.

And I went in and I just thought it was a chat. And I didn't realize I was chatting to the exec at the time. And I had an argument with him about whether films, film adaptations are ever better than books. And he said they weren't. So I just went, well, Jaws, the Godfather, and just listed off a load of films and are far better than the books. And then afterwards, I said, you know who that is, don't you? And it's like, that's the showrun. I went, oh, shit.

And he liked the fact that I just challenged him and questioned him. Oh, wait. That's a classic movie scene, isn't it? The classic movie scene is where there's the scary boss and then someone stands up to them. And everyone goes, and the boss loves it. Because he's never been spoken to like a normal human being before. And 99% of the time, if you do that, you will be sacked immediately. You will be sacked immediately.

So, don't do it. Don't do it. So whatever you do, just to say yes to your boss. Yeah. If you're a surgeon, don't walk into medical school. Slap the head lecture around the face and go, I've got this, buddy. I've been studying at home. Well, let's set up a LinkedIn, Josh, and see what we get.

Tim, yeah. Anyway, how are your kids? Oh my God, summer holidays is just... Can I just change something behind me? My fish tank's a bit loud. Can you hear it? I can't hear your fish tank, no. There's a drawer open. There's a drawer open under the fish tank.

Do you want me to close that? Is that a problem? I don't mind. I just seems... I don't know what's happened. Looks I've been burgled. He's off. Michael, can you hear his fish tank? It creeps in occasionally, but generally it's fine. Well, the first time I noticed it, because I didn't realize what it was, and I thought I had a leak. I was doing the edit for an episode. I just kept randomly hearing water,

and I was taking my headphones out. I was like, my fucking office leaking. I can't believe those two fuckers are still alive in there. So what, do, how much does your daughter care about the fish now she's got a hamster? A zero. So literally will never go and look at them or talk about and we'll think about them. Sure, if she was to list the things that live in our house, she'd probably bring up the fish. Bring up the fish. But then once they're dead... They're not furry. Do you know what I mean?

Like, when you're a kid, actually fish are quite boring. Well, you should have just gone on a hard launch of hamster, really, shouldn't you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Hamster is, I think, the elite best pet for a kid. Yeah. What do you feed your hamster of? So the classic sort of hamster mix shit you get.

But also there's this like stuff that little pellets, like porridge, then you put a bit of water and it turns into little porridge stuff. gave us when they, that's what they used to feed them in their little, and plumping them up. I gave them, yeah, because ours was, it was a bit thin, so we've gone, we've, we're doing as normal food plus a lovely fruit and veg plate.

But you can't give them too much, but, man, isn't it? You can't give them too much. You can't give them too much cucumber. Fuck, what a shit animal? What God, I mean, too much cucumber. Fucking hell. Green and water, mate. Oh, we can't give it two strawberries.

Fucking let him live. It's an hamster. And it looks cute than he ate a strawberry, isn't it? They held it in their little hands. Yeah, it's great. It's great. I had a dream about Ramesh last night. What was the dream about Rommish?

It's quite bleak, actually. Was it that, like, when you stood in for him, the main guest that you went and saw the show cancelled, and it made you feel inferior? Well, I don't know. You see the symbolism. God. So I was in a hotel and the Wi-Fi wasn't working.

Yeah. So I came down to reception. And I was feeling ill, and I just wanted to be in bed with the Wi-Fi working. And then there was a film premiere of Romish's new movie. Oh, yeah? In the hotel. That you've not been invited to?

That I'd not been invited to, and I was just trying to get the Wi-Fi code. And then you... I don't think it takes a... I think I could do some Michael research to try and work. Josh, I know what this means. Was this before or after you were doing his radio show? I did the radio show Saturday morning and obviously by Sunday evening

I'm really processing that experience. Yeah, and then sort of subconsciously why did the guests not want to come in? Yeah. But, you know, it's human nature to feel like that. It's human nature, exactly. How's it going with the summer holidays? Because I'm finding it quite chaotic.

So my daughter's a week's art school thing. You know, like an art summer activity club, yeah. So we've had a little bit of a privileged first week some holidays where they went to like a performing arts school for a week being that and italia conti which is amazing they loved it so he did that for a week and and me and lou knits over to lisbon for a couple of nights for a bit of like couples time so that was amazing but now we're back and sunday no need to get the Wi-Fi for that actually three three birthday parties yesterday what well so my the eldest i took the eldest well they split though yeah so we had to do all three

some sort of a venture playground tag thing and it was a 10.45 drop off at a leisure centre 25 minutes away, I went there, dropped her off and then you could drop her and leave her. So I went to the driving range for an hour. Yeah, there we go. That was next door. Then I picked her up.

You sure you haven't got a LinkedIn. Then I'm going to... Then I brought her back and she had to get a swimming costume because then she was going to a swimming party. So that finished at 1245, back to ours, had to get to the swimming party for 1.45, then I had to pick her up at 4 o'clock from there, and then Lou was at another party with my daughter

that my daughter wanted her to stay at from 2 till 5. Three hour parties, I think it's an hour too long, I don't know about you. Yeah. I mean, it's just too much for everyone involved. Get them in, get them out, fuck them off, here's your party bag, done. Yeah, I mean, that is intense.

I also think I feel sorry for the kids. We have quite a problem at the school for the kids. for the kids who have the summer holiday parties, the attendance is bad, so they often bring them earlier, understandably. Everyone's away, so that you can't get everyone in. Everyone's away. It must be awful for those kids.

Because not only are they the youngest in the year, but when it comes to their birthday in August, it's like a third attendance. Yeah, they're not coming. Why? Because they're going to have more fun on holiday. Yeah, exactly, yeah. they don't worry you can put a party bag aside for them

give it to them in September one of the school one of the school moms I was like you're right she went yeah I was like I know you're doing much it's my birthday today and I went all right and what you're doing she went two party runs

then we're having a Chinese take one I was like it is shit in it yeah but anyway we've got they're in a they're going to like a two hour Japanese art class today.

You're dropping off in a minute and then we're back. But yeah, it's a bit like the logistics are hard because you can't. You're just... Well, the other logistics problem is my son's in nursery, which was fine because his nursery was the same nursery as my daughter's school. But it's not the same nursery as Art Bash.

Art Bash. So how far away is Art Bash? It's the other direction. So me and Rose have got to separately take them. One art bash, one nursery. But at least he'll go to nursery if she's art bashing. Exactly. Is she there all day?

No, I've got to pick her up at like quarter past three and two of her friends are there. So I'm bringing them all back to our house. Yeah. Because it's quite good because then for the next two days, it's going to be a, I'm hoping there'll be a circuit situation. So I'm going to take them for pizza tonight. And then another dad or mum's going to do another night?

Hopefully that will give us longer days. Honestly, we're in a very privileged position where I choose not. to work as much in August so I'm around and Lou's got more work through from September she's done the main part of her we'll talk about that more later on but she can't really talk about at the moment

but so not with all the controversy around Bonnie Blue it's just difficult isn't it? You know anyone trying to launch an only fans at the moment it's difficult so good luck to her she's really going for it but like because I've got mates that obviously like

working full time both in office jobs and it's just like it's that it's so long and there's just no you can't just test all your holiday I don't understand what our parents because obviously I don't remember being small I remember summer holidays when I was 10 and my parents could like go out

because our grand lived in the other side of the house they could go out or whatever I didn't like that cranny out of yes do you reckon that's why you're quite sort of like older ways because you were your siblings were older so you were at home with your nana a lot

I think maybe You're one of those nan kids I am a nan kid Yeah because she was in the house a lot So you love a biscuit Because I can imagine little sort of five year old Josh She wasn't very nanny She was quite

Um Young for her age But her age was 75 Yeah But I bet she fucking loved a cup of tea and biscuit So you'd go in and she'd be smoking a silk cut And black coffee Yeah

Because she was like Still obsessed with her weight even in her 70s, do you know what I mean? Oh, God. So silk cutting coffee? Silk cut and coffee. You what? She doesn't sound like a man.

Well, she came, she was an actor in London, so she was absolutely kind of... Oh, so it's in the blood? Well, no, because I can't act. You can act. I can't act. No, but you've still got that yearning for attention. I can pretend I'm enjoying a panel show. You are one of the best enjoying a panel show.

I can laugh along at people I despise happily. One of the best advice you ever gave me was Just laugh at everything and clap And you'll make the edit loads Even if you don't say anything That was the advice I got But I don't think it's good advice Because no one's going

Do you know what I want to go and see on tour That guy that laughs a lot No one's fucking good at laughing that guy But I think it is good advice in another way And by laughing along You do relax You're part of the gang Yeah you relax

And you look Because when you first start You're so scared Because you're like oh my God These are all the TV people and I'm just like this little idiot. So if you laugh along it, even if it looks like you're like,

oh yeah, me and Lee Mag or me and Jimmy Carr, oh, we're mates. We're on the show. The first time you're going, you're like, we're not mates. This is fucking mental. The first time you go on,

when you first speak, is fucking all. Like the whole world stops. Yeah, it's like the matrix. You know, when the bullets come out and you can just see them come with your head and you go,

You know, everyone's like, ba-bang, bang, a bag, and you go like, well, I think... Oh, God, oh, God. Well, funny you should say that, Dara. Yeah. And in that moment, when you... Because you have to have your elbow in line. Well, yeah, it's funny you say that about Eric Pickles

and the sides of his shimming trunks, but... Have you ever thought that... Oh, God. Oh, God. Fuck! Show me in the head. Could I just get up and leave? oh god it's awful yeah and then you're just sat there going on when the first time i did it i just did

all of my jokes from my set yeah and they were like and i had a good one obviously because i knew they worked and i just basically everyone else's written that stuff that week this is stuff that was like two three years old when you worked so i had a good one and then like the producers was like and it felt real shameful because i was like yeah next time could you write some jokes of the show rather than just using your set and i was like oh and i was like no i couldn't actually today that's all all i could do was that come come give me a fucking chance. I'm so scared.

Yeah. Oh, God. It's brutal. That's quite a good thing actually. Anyone, let us know your job and what is the scariest first moment for you when you first start. Like, is it a moment like in each different industry? It'd be interesting to know.

Also, have you lied your way into a job? My friend needed a driving license to get into his job to get his job. Yeah. And he didn't have a driving license. Yeah. And incredibly when they asked to his things, they didn't ask for his driving license. But then every time he had to do. do a site visit

he'd go they'd go um right so he was like working in um town planning and they'd have to go to a site and he'd have to pretend he was going out to drive and then peg it to the public transport oh my god and then pretend he'd park around the corner

so that they didn't see him mark it oh yeah lies for a job and then the worst moment in your job when you remember when you first started your career what was the moment for us sat on a panel show that first word. I think that's worse than stand-up because at least in stand-up,

you're walking up, you know what you're doing, you're not inter... There's always the option in a panel show. I could just sit here. I don't have to speak. Whereas stand-up, you're kind of...

The situation just plays out. And there's always another one the next night. So I definitely think your first time on a panel show when you have to interject. But you must be the same, if you're like in an office job and you get a promotion

to a senior level and it's like, well, what do you think? And you're like, I don't really... Especially at the top level, of like some jobs if you're like CEO you don't need to know anything

about that industry really CEOs just jump from like they'll go from like petrol company down to like The FA Yeah exactly Um Also if you if you are really high up

You can do it anonymously Email me please Yeah we'd love this It makes everyone feel better Because no one knows what they're doing really Everyone's blagging it And hoping for the best Yeah

Anyway Talk to me about summer holidays were up. So we had the parties. I'll tell you what, I bought for the garden, a Tommy Bahamas ice box. If we're going back to product reviews,

page for it. This is not an advert. I put ice in there. We had a little get together on Saturday, put ice in there on 10 a.m. Saturday morning. I speak to you now,

Monday morning at 10 a.m. The ice is still in there. Wow. 48 hours. There is, I tell you wanted a glass of rosé now. you can have one you can have one so that was good

we had a little do you have ice in your rosé that's what my mum oh yeah so right me and Lou thought we'd crack the code we'd been over the summer been having bottles of rosé

yeah yeah with loads of ice and we said well it's great because actually you get a little buzz but there's so much ice in there is actually hydrating us right yeah yeah

anyway we're doing this there a couple of people over on Saturday we keep getting absolutely fucked out Of course you do, because you're drinking rosé. I know. Rosey's lethal. Also, the fact it's colder, in a way, makes it easier to drink.

Exactly. It doesn't feel like wine. And it doesn't really taste up wine because it's diluted, but we are. And Lou was so hungover. So, you know, the last couple of days, we've been having to sleep with, like, the youngest was like, being disturbed in the night. So I'll keep waking up. I'm scared.

Can you come and sleep with me? So one of us has basically just been like, mainly Lou, actually. I did it last night, but mainly Lou, it's basically at two in the morning, rather than trying to reset it, it's just got in the bed. Because that way, we all sleep, and then we're going to work on it over the summer holidays. Anyway, so Lou was in bed with her, and then she woke her, and I don't know if Flew wants me to say it, but she woke up. So she basically got our kid back to sleep, and then Lou woke up in a night to be sick. I was like, and Lou's a loud sicker, right? So she's woke everyone up being sick, and in the end, and then this, my daughter that's sort of scared to sleep at her own went,

It's okay, mommy. You can go back to your room. That may have... That's good. That may have cracked it. That's a parenting tip. Yeah, it gets so hammered on Rose. Your daughter doesn't want you.

Exactly. So she sent her back and then she got in with me. And then they were at the party and my daughter was telling everyone, my mummy was sick last night and woke me up because she drank too much wine. Oh, no. In front of all the school parents. Oh, no. I changed a fuse, Josh.

Oh, yeah. We had a little inflatable thing on Saturday for the kids to play on. The guys delivered the night before. Jumping Jack's bouncy castle guys, pretty good guys. Anyway, we plugged it back in in the morning, but it was a bit wet still, so it blew the fuse. Yeah. So I rung my electrician guy, Ryan, big up Ryan. I know I'd give him grief for lagging tickets a lot, but he's a good guy.

Right, I don't know. I mean, the thing is, I would like to give him a shout. out but all I know is he's called Ryan and he lives in Bromley so just shout Ryan and you might find an electrician. Anyway, he ran me up and he spoke me through it. Did you get hey, this is really embarrassing because I'm useless

right at stuff. I had to, I went mate, I think because I've heard my dad say before. I think, look, I've checked the fuse board, nothing's flicked over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's one of the ones I do. I think the fuse on the plug has blown. I've

not seen that in years. That used to happen all the time when I was a kid. My dad was always changing the fuse on a plug. It doesn't seem to happen anymore. Well, it did for me before. It'll be trips. That's what they say. Yeah, yeah.

It trips. Trips the switch. All these, yeah, it's tripped the switch. So I checked the switch. It hadn't tripped. So then I went to where sometimes when we have a power cut, there's another little box. I don't know what it does. I've heard the word isolator before.

Right. I don't know what that means. Anyway, but normally if my little back gate don't open, if I press this button, the electric's come back on. Went to press the button. wouldn't come back on no light no light Josh oh no

I think the fuse is blown I rang Ryan he rang me back Saturday morning 8 am we've got people arriving we've got deflated stuff I've still got to do a dog walk he rings me and went

hey get a screwdriver stick it in there pop it out change your fuse okay Ryan I'll do that where did you get your spare fuse well this is the embarrassing part

I panicked because I've got the old fuse and I'm like I need a fuse I went to look you got any fuses She was like, nah. And then I'm starting to do Josh Whitaker banter about the fuse chocolate bar. Oh, I know what you're doing.

I know what I do in this situation. What's that? Get a plug that you're not using. Take the fuse out of there. That's exactly what I should have done. What I did was text all my neighbours and ask them, do you have a fuse? Oh, dear. Yeah.

And then they sort of reply to them, yeah. I've got loads. They need one. But then like, and they're probably just looking at my house going, he must have so many plugs. in that. Honestly, I reckon I've probably got about 500 fuses, isn't it? Yeah, of course, of course.

And you'll have stuff like... Definitely on stuff I'm not using. Yeah, you'll have like an old four or a plug that goes to a one-up, that'll have a plug on the end that's just in a drawer. And do you know what I've sacrificed? The ice cream maker. Did you?

We've made ice cream once, four years ago, we bought it. Never again. So I actually worked it out, and I was like, oh yeah, there's fuses. There's fuses everywhere. It's fuses everywhere. It's a 13 amp, everywhere. I was like, then I felt really good about myself because I'd found one in the ice cream

make a plug, unscrewed it, got it, and then like put it in and it felt and it and it and it worked and it all come back on. I bet you felt quite masculine, quite sexy. Yeah. Nearly took my top off and drunk a diet coke in front of Lou just to see if it sort of, you know, stirred anything. Yeah. Come on Lou. Get me on the OF. Throwing up again. And then I had really like to sort of send me apologise and explain that I'm an idiot to the neighbours on the neighbor group because I sent it to the group like they make a whole and they're all like the guys are like so someone said you've got loads of fuses in everything no but they would that was the implication of like yeah of course it's like saying hello anyone has anyone got any walls

yeah has anyone got any bricks in their house wall yeah so but they're really nice but they're all very handy so there's like one guy like race his cars and he's always working in his car one guy It's like a farm. He's got like, he does all farming. He's got loads of equipment. The other guy runs a company and they're all any hands on. Like when we had a was nest, he came around with a big pole and poison and pump me nest.

Yeah. All right. I don't want to hear right. I had a similarly pathetic thing that I was proud of. Yeah. In a terms of practicality. Oh, one second. Hello.

You go in now. Do you want to say hello to Josh? Hello. Hello. I have fun. You're going off to art school? Yeah. What are you doing there?

Two dogs now as well. Sorry about that. Oh, you're going to know it, man. We're doing Taito Japanese art, and then maybe in the afternoon, after lunch, we're going to do flower patting. Oh, wow. Nice.

Right, are you going in the car now with mummy? Yes. She's just getting me on. Bye. Bye. Bye. Are you going the other way? Bye.

Love you, bye. Absolutely nothing. That's fine. enjoy. So are you going in the car now? So are you going to not be here for a bit soon? Because it's quite cute, but I do need to sort of pump out some content contractually. I mean, how, but it's fine for us because we do this. But imagine if you're sacking someone on Zoom or something, or you're having a really

important meeting about the company falling apart and then your kids bowl in a lot. Well, I talk to people that have that for some holidays. Yeah. My friend said she literally had her arm out, keeping a child out of shot. while she was in a meeting like because you just I don't give a shit like it doesn't matter

well for us it doesn't our show is about parenting and how difficult it is to manage if you were Stephen Bartlett it might be a bit more difficult you've just got someone to the voyage of tears Austin being Stephen Bartlett no no

no dig in as personally I'm sure he's a great guy but that kind of professionalism and I just that kind of ambition I don't know as to say it wrong with you but no I think I think, I always think this about Gary Neville. I think, what are you running from?

I love Gary Neville. I love him. I love him. It's non-stop. Chill. Don't attack the day. Have you thought about not attacking the day? Because I feel like me and you attack the day quite hard anyway.

Yeah, the day attacks me. And I basically fight back for 12 hours and go to bed. Sick the white flag up, lay on the floor next to your son of a kid. Exactly. The day attacks me. So I changed the oil in my car, Rob. Oh, go on. Yeah, impressed.

Yeah. So I got a message from my car and it said, your oil, you're dangerously low on oil. Yeah. A low minimum. They don't sell oil at service stations. Yeah, I find it quite hard to find oil. Yeah.

What the fuck's going on? Why did you get oil? I don't even know what ad blue is, but they've got fuck loads of ad blue. And they've got, They've got fucking anti-freeze or whatever it's called. If I've made it to the petrol station, I've not got a problem with freezing.

Like if I made it to... But your windscreen washer fluid, they have. Windscreen washer fluid. And they logs. And they're logs. Fuck up on. Propane gas. Bit less, few less grenade bars,

just a few more pots of fucking engine oil. I don't need protein. I need oil. Exactly. So... Where'd you get it? Like a small garage. So I was going down a motorway

in and out of every service station failing. And then we got to Lewis, where we're going to Rose's dads. Yeah. And then you just go into the local garage and they've got it. And you're like, why are the big guys not selling oil? I don't know. Do all cars need oil? Not electric cars.

Do they need oil? I don't know. I don't know. What does it do? What's the difference with oil and petrol? I don't know what it does it does it? Is it oil the engine? Does it make it all loosey-goose?

What does oil do? Is it like a loop for an engine? I think it must be. it's lube for cars what we all do in a car because I find this very frustrating because it's assumed in our relationship between me and Louie that I should know all this

because I'm a man but I don't know it serves as a crucial lubricant and coolant for the energy's moving parts dirty engine dirty pistons it minimises friction between these parts preventing wear and tan and it also helps

cool the engine by absorbing and dissipating heat Oh, stop it. Additionally, oil acts as a cleaning agent carrying away debris. I don't think we need to add to take it away, the dirty bitch. Should I be getting rid of the old oil? Should I be getting an erection?

You can't fucking suck out the oil, mate. Just stop it up with new stuff, surely. Why's the old, where's the oil? It's getting used up in the end. He's getting looted up, in it. What's it doing? Coming out of the exhaust? I don't know where it's going.

I don't know where it's going. I think it's just getting absorbed by the nuts and bolts. What happens when you loob your dick? It just gets used up in the vagina, doesn't it? Or ass. 2025. Stick your dick where you want, like. Or hand.

Not if you don't need to loop your mouth, dear. No, it tastes weird. So that's what oil does. Fair enough. Yeah. So there we go. Lovely. So that's all I'm off for you.

But I did do it. It's a weird episode. It's been a weird episode. What have you got planned for the kids? So my daughter's going to the art thing all week, yet my son is going to nursery. Yep. I've told him he's having his tonsils out. Oh, yeah, you said when's that?

Is that over some holiday? Yeah. And then he's got a 10-day calling off period. Calling off? He can't hang out with other kids for 10 days. So that means he's out of nurse. Because he can't get infected. He's got to be.

Away from infection. Right. So what are you going to do? Well, he doesn't know yet that he's not going to the festival with now me and my daughter are going to a festival with her friend and the dad. Oh, was it supposed to be going to a festival altogether? The four of us, yeah. We're going to go to big festival.

Oh, so he's going to be at home of Rose. Yeah. Oh. And then. It's hard, didn't it? What can you do? What can you do? What cinema?

Well, it's better now than if it was during the term, is it? I don't know. Yeah, because it'd have to be like off school or what. Yeah. I think you can take him outside. No, of course, but you're just like not into a soft play or stuff like that.

Like a cinema or fun little day dates with Rose or whatever. Oh, God, to the fucking park. Back to the park. Back to the fucking park. But then the part's going to be. Yeah, but at least it's ever. It's like outside. I suppose you think what was it like, where would you go during COVID?

What? How long is it? Is it overnight in hospital as well? No. It's in and out. slice them out come out it's horrible

isn't it it's grim it's gonna be fucking rubbish and are you camping at this festival as well we've got posh camping

oh camping that'll be fun as well there for the older girls and yeah it's fine yeah it'll be fine any other things planned

well we're currently our life is just completely all over the shop Rob yeah as we discussed you're trying to move

house which we're doing secret episodes on but is it oh my god this morning I was just like I just can't imagine what life would be like if it would.

I mean, does life ever calm down? But I'm thinking about this. I don't think life ever calms down. I think you get better at managing your reaction to the life. Yeah, so I'm pretty chilled about it generally. But occasionally it creeps up on me and I think I literally don't feel like I have a job. I feel like I'm just a man doing admin about a house move. Also, I do think it does get easier though.

was Tom Hanks looks unbelievable at the moment. He's not dealing with a house move. No, no, this is what I'm saying. Let me finish, baby. What he was saying was, someone said to me, you look great. He's super, super fit, super healthy looking and quite tanned and stuff. And I was like, you look amazing for your age. He's like 60 odd.

He went, he looked so good. Why did you look so good? What's your secret? He went, my life's easy. He went, when I was 35, it was like, it is the worst, the most difficult part of your life. You never get time to yourself. You're dealing with kids.

You're up early. you're not sleeping, your life is so... He's 69, Rob. Yeah, but he looks great and he was just saying, there's a clip somewhere after trying to find it

where basically just says like that 10-year period of your life, you are so stretched and it feels like you've got no time to yourself and it'll never get better, but it gradually does.

And it's just, you're in that zone at the moment of that two really young kids trying to do what had been stuff. But then once they get to secondary school and you're in that, obviously there'll be challenges and it'll be more emotional or mental,

but you'll be in a new house and a new place. You won't be in a big bike up at six. 15 and told to go downstairs and blah blah blah and then you won't be thinking fuck I need to and you'll be in the place you're probably going to spend the next 20 years yeah happily so well let's not let's not bet on happily but we'll be there we'll be there yeah I'm move again I might die I'm I want to die in this house do you yeah um I don't want to move again

really can't be bothered well the problem with houses is what the way it works is you get to a point where like your house is big enough hopefully for everyone that needs to live in it right yeah then as your life progresses you may get promoted or earn more money as you've got most people as you get older you know earn more money if they're getting promoted and stuff you're the old capitalism devil on your shoulder will go well you've got x amount more a month which means if you go on right move you can get a house worth this much if you do that not be a down move are you not planning, like that's what I wonder, is the... The downwards, yeah, but that's a long way off to down me.

Is the rattling around in the house? Yeah, well, out, we've got a nice size house, but it's definitely fine for two people to live in. Is it? Yeah, 100%. It wouldn't be too big at all, really. So, like, lovely size house base, not. You wouldn't feel emotional when you're walking past the two kids' bedrooms every morning, and they're empty because...

Not really, not when it's a, like, some sort of, like, Pilate Studio, lose gear in it, which I'm in there. move it upstairs But yeah This is So life gets less busy You'll be alright Yeah

Yeah Looking forward to the tour Before you know You'll have a cup of coffee And a silk cut In your daughter's house As granddad lives in the corner Telling anecdotes

About the old days About laughing at people's jokes On Mott the Week What's Mott the Week Exactly Forget it Yeah Yeah everyone wore a flowery shirt

And shouted Yeah come on You must know here A fake microphone At the front come on let's do some small business shoutouts Josh

that's a weird episode I enjoyed that though yeah here we go hi rob and Josh I'm a drum teacher based in Wolframstow North London

but teach all over north east and south London looking to gain more students over 2025 I teach up to any level and have experienced teaching in schools and with SCN students

offering all parenting and hell listeners a free first lesson Jesus, he's going to be, he's going to be a busy boy. If they email drummer and a little dash Fraser, so it's D-R-U-M-M-E-R, one of those little, is it a hyphen or little dash? What's that? I've never seen that in an email before. Hyphen. Hifeng.

That's called a hyphen. Drummer hyphen Fraser F-R-A-Z-E-R at Hotmail.com. That's drummer-hyphen Fraser, F-R-A-Z-E-R at Hotmail.com. You just put parent in hell in the subject. I also manage a function band called 4 to Floor, and we are experienced in playing all types of events from corporate parties to weddings. Email us now to get a 20% discount for your party at Fraser

at 4-2-F-O-O-R-T-O-O-R dot com. Instagram is Fraser Stamford, F-R-A-Z-E-R-S-T-A-N-F-O-R-D, and the band's Insta is 4-F-F-F-L-L-B. Really appreciate the show. shout out if this gets to. Cheers. Fraser. Good luck, Fraser. Hello. I would love a small business shout up for my sister Leone. L-E-O-N-I. She's an avid listener with two children aged three and four. She's been putting the business she started in 2013 on the back burner until both her kids start school, which will happen this September. I'm sure a shout-out would

give her a great boost. She creates gorgeous wedding invitations and stationery, table plan, order and service, save the dates, etc. She designs and makes all of the items. herself by hand to ensure great love and care goes into each and every one of them. All of her items can be personalised and adapted to suit the wedding. She's an amazing mum and a lovely sister. Her Etsy shop is from Leone with love. L-E-O-N-I is how you spell it. Many thanks, Sean, 518 months old, mother of two feral preteens.

Lovely stuff, Josh. I'll see you next week. On the flip side. Cheers. Bye. Thank you.