Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S11 EP40: Rich Mans Porridge

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... this episode Michael reports back on the underwear challenge, and we go through some of your fantastic listener correspondence from the over flowing inbox. **This episode was recorded earlier in December before Christmas** If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week you'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.

Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting wo. Because let's be honest, There are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Evelyn, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett.

Can you say Josh Whittickickham? Josh Wiggledicum. Good girl, well done. Josh Willidacum. I loved it. Good news. This is my daughter, Evelyn. 28 months attempting your names. I think she did Josh's name really well that.

my wife started listening to the podcast before we had kids. We now have two and have a one-year-old who is still refusing to sleep. Not sure why we didn't listen to the state Josh was in back at the beginning. It feels like a long time ago, didn't it? Oh my God. And decide against it. Tom, Emily, Evelyn, sorry, and Rosie from, for me, pound for pound, the best, most beautiful town or city in the UK. Where?

York. Do you know what? So this is a good question. actually. Me and Lloyd were chatting about this the other day. If you couldn't live in the city you're in, I mean, you've sort of answered this already by moving to Exeter. If you had to live in another city that wasn't all on the outskirts of a city, there wasn't London. Industrial outside Lester. 100%. So obviously, for you, Exeter. Probably Manchester. Really, if you couldn't live in Exeter. But Exeter would be your first choice because it was obviously. Or Bristol. But I don't

know anyone, I don't know anyone in Bristol, so I can't be bothered to. I know, I know, one person and they're moving so yeah i said york yeah it's beautiful isn't it york it's lovely and i like the people of yorkshire yeah well let's not push it but um um oh i got me that got me good that got me real good but yeah i also like that if you're in york you could like go out onto the moors or you could go to harrigot or you could do you know And the train to London's two hours. You can get to Newcastle easy and up to Scotland. Do you know what?

Let's move to fucking York. What's your own rose would say to that if you wanted to go to York now? Yes. She loved to do up her house. An excuse for another kitchen. Yeah. Do you reckon you'll stay in this house you're in? I don't think you'll leave Exeter.

Well, this is the interesting chat, Rob. I've been interested. In my head, I can't ever imagine moving. Yeah. I mean, yeah, but that's how... But it's not your head that makes a decision, is it? He is. Is it?

I'm driving the car, Rob, from the passenger seat. Get my meaning? No, no, not really, though. No, you're driving rows to a house she wants to live in. I'm not even got those pedals that are driving an instructor has in case that you go onto a roundabout. No, to be fair, you did want to move. That wasn't a rose idea, but I think, I think in five years,

can I give you another prediction on the house? Yep. I think in about five years, or maybe in seven, Rose would like to move to a different kind of house that maybe is in a bit more, like, slightly more rural that's like bigger. No, she definitely wouldn't. You've misread that. I'd be more likely to move rural than her. Right.

She wants to get to a coffee shop. She wants to be able to go to get a coffee in the morning. And I think that is very central. So. Yes. Fair enough. I stand corrected. Can I talk to you about the scene in the local area are, I want.

I'm going to say it, Rob, I'm going to use this word. Yeah. We're becoming part of the community. Okay, so the scene in the area, not the exit scene, but the area of exit are you're in? The area of exit or you're in. Is it an enclave? What is an enclave? I've used the word I don't know what it means.

Better, like an area, small area, doesn't it? Yeah. It sounds good, doesn't it? But you're in the community? Well, recently. We went for, we got, we dropped our kids off at school and we got to the coffee shop and there was people in, you know, and we just sat down. down outside and we had a coffee with them, Rob.

Oh, when you chat, you sat on their table? We sat on an adjacent table that was kind of next to it and we had a lovely chat. Who out of you and Rose is the, if you meet someone that neither of you are more associated with through work or friendships and you meet someone new, say like the neighbour knocks on the door, you both answer it and they go, oh, hi, that's an interesting one. It's changed. Yeah. In London, I was front foot, meet all the local.

local people, go to the birthday parties, meet all the other parents. Yeah. Rose was a bit like, she wasn't the birthday party person, right? In Exeter, it's changed. She's much more front foot than me in Exeter. Is that because you're never there? It's difficult to be front foot from Liverpool. Very much a back foot town.

But we had discussions with these people as to whether you see yourself staying in Exeter. Oh, right off the bat. Well, after the kids have left, there is a presumption that I didn't want to bring up at the table. Yeah. That I don't think we're all considering that in 2030 or whatever it would, no, it would be 2040. Yeah. You know, children won't be able to afford to leave in the same way we were. But I didn't bring that up because I didn't want to dampen the mood and say.

Right, but in their heads, when they're 18, they've all got their own flat in London and they can go somewhere else. Yeah, and you're like, mate, come on. So is there a vibe that people go there? because it's a good place to... People go there to bring up their kids, so that's the question. And then leave to go where? Well, most people were saying they wouldn't leave,

but one person I've spoken to has said they can imagine themselves leaving. It's the classic thing, Rob, right? Where a lot of parents do it. The kids leave and they want to downsize and use that little bit of money to live their life, isn't it? Yeah.

So where did they suggest they wanted to go? More rural or more busy? The people we spoke to outside the cafe were saying they were just going to stay an extra now that was it. Because I think it's perfect. You're basically in your 40s. You move to somewhere busy but not as busy as London that's also nice to the countryside and the seaside. That feels like a perfect place to retire. Some people are thinking, I want a place in London. And I can't see that myself.

Back to the smoke for your 60s. I just can't. Yeah, I just can't imagine in my 60s going, I need access to the O2 Arena. I'm going to downsize my lovely family home to get a flat in North Greenwich. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I just can't see that happening. No. No, I think you'll be there forever. I do as well. You might move to a smaller house when the kids are grown up.

You don't need the big. That's the thing, but people do do that, don't they? And it's an interesting one. My parents did that. And it does make sense, but the effort of moving house is so much. And it costs a lot to move house. So it's got to be really beneficial, hasn't it?

Well, I feel like, in my experience, my mom and dad sold the family home, when my brother Joe, I think was only about, I think he was like, he turned 18 for about 26 minutes and the house was on the market. Yeah, exactly. Classic. Yeah. So, because they wanted to downsize, but then they moved an hour and a half away from us. Right. Which is weird one to do because then they're further away from the grandkids, but then their money would go further down there. Yes. Luz's mom and dad stayed in the family home and have been there ever since and they're a bit closer. Me and Lou speak about this. I'm very keen, because I missed our family home we grew up.

And I think it's harder for a family as the kids get older to stay as close and connected if that family home. Because that's like the mothership. Yeah. Where all the memories and all the traditions start from. So do you think you're all there for the duration? Me and Lou would like to stay here for the duration. And, you know, we've got a lovely home, but it's not mental. So it's like somewhere we could live in when we're older.

What are you doing with your kids' bedrooms in that situation? Did you ever come back to your bedroom when you're at union? It was quite weird. I mean, there are only eight and nine. It's quite a long way off to plan the room. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Are you keeping them as a kind of museum to your children?

Or are you changing them into spare rooms? I think they would just be, guess that's two spare rooms. And for them when they come back or whatever. Yeah. But one's got a much bigger room than the other. Oh. We're like, you can swap. But it feels, I feel like as they get older, the one with the small.

the room's going to start to get the hump and then we're going to go look it's only fair now that you swap but in the older but I don't know because we have said you can swap if you want what to both but surely one of them's going to go well I'm not going to swap I've got the bigger room yeah but then you go you've had that room for five years let her have it for five years oh I see yeah yeah that's fair you should do it night by night well at the moment she's got my bedroom no wonder she's got the bigger room she's in your room the one in the smallest room are actually in the biggest room now. I'm actually in the smallest room.

So, yeah, that's interesting. But yeah, I don't think, well, because where we are so perfect because it is quite quiet, but also near London. So if our kids, because really, your kids are going to go to a city. Well, they might not.

The world is so different. The world is, I can't tell you how different the world's going to be in 12 years. Don't talk about AI anymore. I'm just telling you. But then, so we quite like where we are because it's quite well positioned

that if the kids are in London, we're still fairly close. because I want to be very near when they have grandkids. Yesterday, Rob, my daughter comes home. Her shoes have got too small. No, no, no, her feet have grown. That's exactly right. No, no, I put them in the tumble dry.

Oh, yeah, good, guys. I'll tell you about that, eh? You bloody babbri. Do you know what I did? Go on. I said, let's just go to the shoe shop. And I drove five minutes. Yeah.

And we got out. Yeah. And we went to shoe. We brought the shoes. And we're back within an hour. That is exit a living. Sorry, I don't understand what you're saying I'm saying that when I was in London

Yeah You're doing like oh god we've got to go to the Westfield We've got to drive to the Westfield Oh it's the traffic's going to be awful And then Westfield's going to be really busy Yeah And then so it's probably going to be hell on earth And then we're going to get there

Yeah And then we'll have to queue to get to someone Who can try on the shoes with us We were like bish bash, Bosch Is that in Excess of High Street, the shoe? It's in the shopping area, yeah. Yeah, but I think what you're explaining there is suburban living. I like that.

Yeah, well, because that's what we could do. We're jumping in the car within an hour. We'd drive to an industrial estate or the Glade shopping. Mate, I love an industrial estate. Easy parking, bish-pash-bash. You need to have your ashes spread on an industrial estate when you die. Oh, yeah, but I wouldn't be out of pick. How could you pick one?

It's easier in your football team You know It's actually a home ground You know when we say stuff on here I'm sure you're aware of this And people in TV Because understandably They're desperate for ideas

At all times Yeah yeah We'll suddenly go I heard Josh said that Would he be interested in doing a show About you know blah blah right You're definitely going to get

Rob's Industrial Estates of Britain Travel show Rob Beckett finds the best industrial Estates of Britain Oh no It'll be more at a challenge show, like who can spend a grand the quickest or something

that all can stay there the longest. Because these are the ones that are being made at the moment is Rob Beckett loves industrial estate, so he's decided to start his own. And it'll be you. Yay. And I'm having contract negotiations with beats. And I don't want another sports directorate to me.

I'm bowling up to Mike Ashley, doing banter about big mugs. Yeah, you taking me for a big mug, Mike, hey? With that offer. I've got to just. find a bit of land and then I'm going up to the council because it's on Greenbelt and I want to build a massive next.

But that is good isn't it? That is why, because well that's what I used to give you banter about. That bit of East London is sort of like a microcosm of hipster where you weren't actually close to anything useful for... We were close to the Westfield, but the Westfield is a fucking nightmare. I know it's called Westfield.

Natalie Cassidy will always Instagram, if I call it the Westfield. Yeah, it's just Westfield. Yeah, so it's difficult, isn't it, to know, would I... I can't imagine moving back, but then, as Rose said to me, you couldn't imagine moving here a year ago, so...

But, do you know what we did say, Rob? What? The amount of time we don't spend now that we used to spend on right move, imagining what it would be like to move. Yeah, we used to spend hours. You've only been in two months? It's a huge red flag if you were looking now. Well, yeah.

I think Rose, though, will get this place done and then would want to go again because she enjoys the process of doing up a house. It's not happening. No, I know it may not be happening, but I do, I think that is something you're going to have to constantly be, what's the right word? You were going to use the word managed there,

but then you caught yourself because you didn't want to offend Rose. Yeah, something that I think you might find, something that's going to be a constant in your life is Rose thinking, this is a nice fun. £1,000, I bet you £1,000... That you never move again? That we never move again.

I'll take that bet now. Okay. A thousand pounds, you'll never move again. You'll die in that house. But how do I get the £1,000? Because I'll be dead. No, not, you will move before then. No, but if I don't move...

You're definitely... You will not die in that house. You will move. I might die tomorrow. Okay, well, well, well done you. I want you to hand over 1,000 sweet big ones. And I'll turn up at your funeral. Ceros, give her a grand.

What's my life insurance? I'm going to fucking clean that. up. Imagine that being played in court. Oh, the laughs. And then they have to stop laughing. I know it's a great pod, but you do have to listen to the words.

It's really good now with Rob Rommar and Rommatch. He's gone from strength to strength. Rom, how are you kids? He's 28, Rob. Yeah, I know, but this is still going to just fucking dig something out with it. Fucking scratch around, mate. Oh, dear. Oh, Josh, Michael message and just said that he has bought the under armour pants I recommended

and your sunspell pants you recommended. I mean, he's going to try them on for our newly visualised podcast of the new year. Well, Michael, have you worn them yet or have they just arrived? What's happening? What's happening downstairs? So I have worn and used both the sunspell and the under armour fresh out of the box, washed them both. I've worn the sun spell again, washed.

I've yet to wear the under armour. a second time. Okay. What's interesting about this is I think I start as the underdog because I'm basically pushing for a total rebrand of the Michael genital area, whereas yours is like evolution, mine is revolution. Absolutely. But, you know, good revolutions should be, you know, dynamic and come out the blue.

Exactly. Yeah, I'm looking forward to the total rebrand of Michael's genitalia. It's quite archaic what's happening down there with the sun spills. What do you mean? They're big baggy flag pants. I can't believe that these are a viable option in 2020. Oh, this is great. I bought two pairs.

Like, I've recently had to accept that I'm an XL in a standard box, a short, you know, chunky thighs. Here we go. I've spent five weeks away. I've eaten a lot of food. There's a bit more around the midrifts. I'll get a larger than extra large because it's not fair if they're a bit snug on the review. You needn't have fucking worried with the suns, no one. Are they big?

You're basically wearing a Victorian bed sheet. I love it. There is no way to not be wearing boxer shorts. Exactly. There's no structure. There's no structure. Free and easy, man. So what's you like with them on down there, Michael?

My plan was I play football on a Friday morning. I was going to wear one pair for each half of that. I played the first half in the under armour. absolutely fine. No complaints, did exactly what they need to. These aren't a sports boxer. They're a casual boxer.

They're not a 2025 boxer. They're the fucking sales for the HMS victory more than they are. Yeah, to short. You can get ready to be invaded. The island yacht race. Yeah, it's mad. So anyway, first half, Under Armour, no complaints,

not dissimilar to Lulu Lemon. It's just a really solid piece of kit. Boring. Tedious, tedious genitals. come out the second half so I put the go in the first half change into the sun spell

this was the large pair I should add God knows what would happen if I'd have worn the extra mile and a team foe in your pants so I had shorts on and these underneath right so first of all

I don't know whether you've ever at night when you've come back you've had a few drinks you've taken your sort of trousers off and you've sort of taken another piece of clothing off with it like boxer shorts or socks or something and then in the morning when you get up

to get dressed, you don't realize like there's a boxer short already stuffed in the leg of a trouser or something. Yeah, the classic. I once had that at school, a pair of boxer shorts come out of the bottom of my trousers, nothing worse.

But this is what that's like all the time. There's so much excess material. Do you run in them, Josh? Yes. How do you wear a pair of jeans? How do you wear anything with these underneath?

It just folds up all over you. What do you mean? This could not have gone better. I'd stand by it. You'd have to stand by, it's holding you up. But you're running them, Josh, with shorts. Yeah, but I've got those supporting shorts. What do you mean?

With the interior pant. Are you whether over the pants or just with no pants? Yeah, over. That's fucking mental. What? No, no. So, you know, like the inner lining, like, it's sort of like an inner pant. Yeah.

You pull that over your boxers. Yeah, fine. What? You fuck, Norman Bates. Why is that Norman Bates? No, the whole point of that short that's got like the inner lining for swimming is that it keeps everything together and you can run you so you don't need to wear pants. I know, but the general consensus is I'm often,

I want to get more than a day out of those shorts. You are a grubby little bastard. No, I'm not. That's a good thing. I'm not getting the shorts dirty. No, you shouldn't be wearing shorts twice if you've runnin them. What shorts? Yeah, they're all dirty from your ass, sweat.

You're just going off, just going off another run. I can't believe. I would change a t-shirt straight away. You must have like a rough round your legs. Michael, it's not, it's his mental, isn't it? I'm not around my legs. But they're like a wirefront, like, stitched into the shorts. You're pulling that over a big baggy pair of sunspill pants.

Yeah. That's really, and it's all pulling up. I love it. And I'd recommend it to all and sundry. So are you going to convert to under armour from your basically identical pants? Well, no, what's the review of the pants when you're not doing sport? Like, just day-to-day with jeans, what's your sun-spell thoughts and what's your underarmament? So then on the Saturday, which is a day after, I was just at home all day, just doing a bit of life admin, washing, all of that stuff.

I decided to wear each of them in that environment, far more comfortable relaxed environment. Yeah, it's a closer test. That's a better test. Here, obviously, the sun-spell performed a bit stronger, but I will still say there is no structure. There's no safety whatsoever. That's what you're looking. That's why I'm there. That's like saying, here, I listened to the classical music, but there was no lyrics.

That's what it is. It's a matter of taste. It's a matter of taste. You can't. But your balls could just fall out. It's like comparing a book to a movie and going, there wasn't enough actors in the book. I personally found them quite exposing. That's my problem with those.

Do write in if you think your partner's got. awful underwear. And what is it you don't like about them? Yeah, and what is it you don't like? Let's maybe just do like people talking about men rather. I ate the bra she wears and her ass of shit in those knickers. There might be more of it. We don't want that.

And can I say generally, big fan of Sunspell as a brand. I have a lot of their T-shirt. Oh, I love their T-Sper. Great. Lovely clothes. If Sunspell want to send me some clothes, I'll take them. Not the pants, though. They disgust me.

I'll pay the pants. Got in T-shirts or jackets knock it's not going about. Old Spelly some. Send them that. I'll take the pants. Okay, I've got a thing with Rose, right? Go on. Let's see if she's listening to the podcast.

She hasn't mentioned the podcast in quite a while. I think she's gone full rest of history. I think she prefers Dominic and Tom to us. She's tapped out. She's tapped out. We don't talk enough about Elizabeth I first, right? But let's see if she's listening. Rose is stronger than me.

Yes, we know this. That is without doubt. I think she, for someone who's stronger than me, Yeah. I think I do more of the carrying with deliveries than she does. I think she's got a tendency to go missing when a delivery arrives. Now, is that because she doesn't want the social interaction with the delivery person? I don't know, but if you're the stronger member of the family, I think if you're spending money on personal training, heavy things, on getting stronger.

Oh, well, she's still getting stronger. Or at least maintaining her strength And you're not doing any training Well I You go for panicked runs When you haven't got enough time I go for panicked runs Yeah yeah exactly

Which isn't helping No I think you have to step up When there's a when there's a big item being delivered Look let's see what she says See what she says Do you ever play fight? No

So like tickle each other on and roll around And then just sort of like Have a wrestle with each other No? Should we ever? Well I mean lose sometimes doing but do you yeah but you don't ever do that and then does it head where i think it's going to head what to sex raw animalistic passion no no it'd be more like sort of winding each

other annoying each other and then it'll be like it'll escalate we're like i'll tickle and then it'll be like we'll have to let the play fight and then she'll it's more tickling maybe i'll relate maybe i need a divorce we've never done that no but when i if i get tickled i can go into like this hyper mental manic laugh, which is like... Is that you having sex? No, no, no, that's me laughing. But it's like, I'm so ticklish that I'll go into a massive laugh

that's uncontrollable and it ends into like a, and I literally can't control it and it actually hurts my body, the noise I'm making. And then they have to stop and it calms down and then Lou, and then she will hold me down doing that

and then the kids will start tickling me but they do it because the noise I make so funny and they find it hilarious, how mental I go. So, yeah, from that. But then it's, in the play fine, lose quite strong but i feel like it's sort of i'm maintaining a level where lou's going at me full full pelt but i'm never going full pelt because i would be stronger so i was just wondering if you

ever play fight if rose is holding off no no no no no we don't play fight maybe you should have a play fight and test yourself and see if you are stronger well i know i'm not i think i'm always too tired i don't know listeners do you ever at play fight or tickle each other with your partner yeah i don't know No, I don't. Worryed now. Worryed? Well, yeah, we don't have to play for it. I don't know.

If you're happy and enjoying relationship, I wouldn't introduce it. If you've been one in two for years. No, I haven't. No. Do you tickle each other? No, I don't like being tickled. Do you touch each other?

Not as much as we used to. But I reckon, give it five to ten years and we'll be back in the game. Absolutely, yeah. We're all over each other, sickening. She'd be getting off of each other on the train. Yeah. right um do we do some correspondence yeah we've got some correspondence um do you want a boomer parent yeah you do that and i'll do a custom service job revenge boomer parenting morning rob and josh i thought

i'd share a boomer parenting story of mine dating back to the 80s i've come from what is now called a blended family there we go consistent of me my sister a stepbrother and a step sister we're all pretty close in age and got on well we would have been 11 to 13 years of age when this particular event regularly took place. On Sundays, our parents would put us all in the back of the car and we were blindfolded. They would drive us to a mystery location, usually around three miles from home, drop us off, then tell us to find our way home. What? They would leave us with 10p in case we needed to call them, but invariably there was never a phone box in a remote location as they left us. That is mad. Until I was in my 20s when it occurred to me that my parents did this so they could

have some alone time, which really grosses me out. Oh dear. Christine then in North now in London. What are they thinking? They're like, oh, they'll make them grow up and have an adventure and... Yeah. But I think they need to be on board with that rather than it just... Yeah, yeah, that's not ideal. No. I wouldn't do that for a bunk up, would you? Well... Also, three miles. I could leave them under a metres up the road and I'll be finished by the time ago. Hello, amazing podcasters. I've been listening since my son was born 20 months ago and have loved all the stories and laughs. My tale of customer service revenge was 19 years ago. In fact, it was Thursday the 18th of May 2006.

Do you know what that date means, Rob? Thursday the 18th of May, 2006. Michael might have a guess at it as well. Oh, it's something to do mean... It will mean more to Rob, but Michael will be aware of this event as well. Okay, 2006, 18th of May, 2000. Is that Arsenal winning something? No, we didn't win anything in 2006.

You lost the Champions League final to Barcelona that night. Oh, yeah. Where were you, Rob? 2006, I would have been 20. I think I was just at uni then. Uni. So, back then, I worked at a famous London train station on the platform, you could name it, but fine,

safely dispatching trains and providing customer service. In the middle of the PM peak, a man wearing a T-shirt that proudly said, Tottenham Division of the Barcelona Fan Club, came up to me and asked where the next train was to their home station. Tottenham Division of the Barcelona. Oh, that's a late. So he's a Spurs fan.

But wearing that, because, yeah, because they're playing Barcelona in the championship fund. Gotcha. I said, this one here is about to leave. He jumped on the train, and I smiled to myself as I watched him depart on it, knowing it was a fast service to a station miles away on a completely different route.

Made me feel so much better about the previous night's loss. I like that. Big fan of that. Because I did notice a lot of Tottenham fans started wearing like Tottenham hats and Tottenham tops when they won Europa League the next day on the school drop. Well, there you go. People that never mentioned football to me at all

had their little Tottenham. They've safely been put away in the cupboard though this season. Oh, here we go. Would you like traumatic flying solo as a child? Oh God, yeah, we've had a few of them, aren't we? Happened to a lot of them. When I was 11, I went to stay with my grandparents in America, Fort Lauderdale, to be exact.

Florida. Is that Florida? My parents dropped me off at the boarding desk, Keythrow Airport, and my grandparents were going to meet me at the other end. Just like Josh, I was assigned an airport assistant who took me to the gate where I waited until boarding. I was then taken to my seat, and I remember the attendant being really attentive. They checked on me regularly and made sure I had food, etc. About five hours into, oh no, into the nine-hour flight,

we hit heavy turbulence. Bearing in mind, this is only my second time on a plane, I'm 11 and I'm alone. The lights were flickering. the plane was lurching up and down. Oh my God. Grown adults were actually screaming and I genuinely thought I was going to die.

It was, and still is, one of the scariest moments of my life. To make matters worse, when I finally got off the death trap plane, my grandparents were not there to pick me up. Oh, God. This was in the days before mobile phones. I was left sitting in the airport arrivals lounge

for what felt like hours, too afraid to ask anyone for help. How old is she? Eleven. So she's just been pushed out of arrivals and sat on a bench at 11 on her own. Is she in Arrivals? She's in the airport arrivals lounge. I don't really know what that is.

Maybe it's just like a little room waiting to be picked up. They can't just leave her in the airport. I was finally helped by airport staff who rang my parents at England, who then rang my grandparents. They thought I was arriving the following day. Oh, my God.

They then had to drive nearly two hours before I could come from the airport. By that, I was in a state and all I wanted to do was go home to England. Worst experience. ever. I spent the remainder of my stay three weeks which included Christmas. Fucking Nora. What the fuck's this?

Home sick crying, begging my mum on the house phone to let me come home early. Love, love, love the podcast so much. Please don't ever stop recording and please shout out my friend Robin. We often discuss you both as if you're a real friends of ours and I know she would be over the moon. Loads of love Kelly, mum of three teenagers.

I feel so sorry for Kelly. Why Christmas for three weeks? Well, I don't know. I don't know the answer to that. Jesus fucking Christ. Poor old Kelly. If you're picking a child up from the airport, how many times are you checking the flight detail? You're checking, I'm checking that every day,

being nuts to just in case. Yeah, I'm terrified that that's going to go wrong. And I'm getting there very early. Yeah, 100%. We've got a playground shaggers special coming up if you want to get them in, but let's have one to wet the apatote. Okay.

During the last podcast, you mentioned the possibility of branching out from playground shaggers to workplace shaggers. Oh, here we go, yes please. So I thought you'd give you a story to kick this off. Many years ago, I worked in a company based in Slough. This is Tim and Dawn that had a manufacturing and warehouse facility based in Wigan. When I started at the company, I was told...

This is one of the most depressing starts with a story I've ever heard. Sounds like the kind of places you'd kill an afternoon, Rob. When I was told that in former years, every Christmas, the company would find an X-Mexam pitch up where the entire company that would usually take place a location based between the two locations. Between Slough and Wigan.

Yes. You know where it's good there? Birmingham. Leicester. Leicester, of course, yeah. However, it was explained that after some time this was stopped as these events usually descended into borturing chaos.

After working there for some time and doing some digging into what actually went on, I found out that the joint Christmas party stopped after one particular event, turned out there was a married lady in accounts let's call her jane we've been having an affair with one of the guys in field sales let's call him dave as jane was leaving her home to head up to that year's christmas party she announced to her husband i've been having an affair and when i return for the party i'll be packing my bags and leaving you oh god okay oh my god so off she went on her merry

that night as the partying drew to an end jane and dave sloped off to the hotel room for a night of passion. Shortly after their departure, the whole place was buzzing with the gossip that Jane had come running out my room, naked, screaming and crying. This is inside. Tragically, whilst they were at it, Dave suffered a massive cardiac arrest and dropped dead halfway through the job. Oh, Jane. Jane returned back home the next day and explained to a husband that she wouldn't be leaving him after all. Jane, no, Jane, you should still be leaving him. And he took her back. Oh, no.

When I joined a couple of years later, they were still together, although she looked thoroughly miserable whenever I saw them both together. Yeah, because you don't want to be with him. Just because the field sales, blokes, still in a fit, now in another field. Stay sexy and related, and non.

Oh, sorry, RIP, actually, sorry. RIP, yeah. Have I told you the time where I, what happened to me at Christmas party? Send these in, please. We're going to do a big playground shaggers special and workplace shaggers. So send them all in to Hello at

Hello at Lockbound Parenting.com.com. No. Yeah, that's right, yeah. Is it? Yeah. I mean, we are fucking pushing our luck. I think we've mentioned this before. It's not even, I don't know what it's called,

it's not even the name of the podcast anymore. But it's Hello at Lockdown Parenting. Should we have a rebrand of the email address when we have our 2025, 2026 relaunch? As long as I don't have to do fucking anything. Michael Shawhill repay under the email address for 2026. Yeah, why not? Yeah, as long as I don't even have to hear about someone else doing it.

It'll be gobble, gobble at parenting hell.com. Well, don't say that until... Oh, yeah, don't send anything else. Send it in at the moment, because this will still work, hello at lockdownparenting.com. And that one will still work forever because we won't know how to get off. We'll keep that, yeah. Anyway, I don't know if I've mentioned this before,

but once, when I was in an office or years ago, this was, I ended up kissing someone from the office. and it was, I think, I can't remember the time I think either she had a boyfriend or either girlfriend, or we both did, but it was very much like early days and we shouldn't really be kissing other people, but we were getting, we were getting on

and then we went into another room of the Christmas party, yeah, above a pub, and then we started kissing each other behind a door which we thought was in private because the other door was open, but we were behind the door so they couldn't see us, and then we didn't realize the music all went quiet and everyone went quiet

and we could see that there was a massive mirror so the entire room could see us in the mirror reflected as we were getting off behind a door which we thought was in secret. Oh no.

It's weird, isn't it? The office party. I do not miss the office party. I do a bit. I love the fucking chaos of it. I just love looking around the room at an office Christmas party and just going,

someone is going to ruin their marriage or career or both. let the games begin um right do you want to do it one more and then small business a shout i've got a babysitting story do you want this one yes hi rob and josh's team in 2005 i was 16 and would often babysit for my neighbour's kids they were all lovely and would be tucked up when i arrived dream job one weekend my parents were planning to go away we lived in southampton and they were travelling back to the whirrell to see family they would always tell me travel updates so i never had to worry they'd rock up i'd always get a fair warning meaning

I had reason enough to throw a party without them knowing. It was all going great until everyone knew to come to my house on Saturday night. People were told face to face, but I had no idea who they then went and told. Friday night, just as my parents were leaving, our neighbour arrives asking if I can babysit for them on that very Saturday night. My mum calls me down and says, I hadn't planned anything and would be home,

so I would be able to babysit for them. Oh, no. I couldn't think of a lie in a spot, so I reluctantly agreed. Oh, no. Remember, this is before WhatsApp groups, even BBM. There was no way to let everyone know that in less... BlackBerry Messenger.

Oh. So no WhatsApp groups, no BBM. There was no way to let everyone know that in less than 24 hours, this party wasn't happening. I couldn't trust the word would get around face to face. So my best friend said, she'd stay at the party. And if anything happens, we could tag team, meaning the kids were never on their own.

Oh, my God. That Saturday, I hid everything valuable I could around our house and prayed nothing bad would happen. Then I proceeded to sit in my neighbour's house. Would it not be easier? Bring the kids to the party? Well, that's one option. You're not getting to go to your own party, right?

Yeah, but what she's saying is she just couldn't officially cancel it. No, I know, but what you do, yeah, this is what I'd do in this situation. Go on. Get as many words around as possible that it's cancelled. Yeah. And then get your friend, rather than to sit in your home and oversee a party

put a sign at the front and say it's cancelled? Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. But this is not what this lady did. No. I proceeded to sit in my neighbour's house

watching one. No one's going to force their way in to a non-existent party. You'd be surprised sometimes because when you're young, especially when I was younger, you'd get invited to a party and you'd just get the number

and name of a street. I know, if you got there and there was no one there. Yeah, but sometimes it can get a bit ralcus. Well, they'll go, I'll just let us come in, let us come in and then before you know it, it's another people, let other people in and it

just escalates, isn't it? Oh, God. Once I had to get by an eight, I went into a garage to get an A to Z to try and find a party. That's how old I am. Anyway, I was watching one by one as they piled into my house and had the time of their lives. My friend never answered their phone when I rang, so I ended up stuck in the neighbour's house, babysitting all night, not knowing what was going on. Our neighbours eventually got back at 1am, way later than they ever ventured out. I grabbed the cash and run back to my house where a group of teenagers resembling the cast of skins slumped all around the place turns out my mate was getting off with a boy and didn't want to be disturbed but she did a good job as nothing was broken or missing oh my proceeded to spend the next morning

scrubbing the floor and doing everything to hire the evidence that is horrific you're cleaning up a party you didn't get to go to no exactly my lesson is don't turn up people oh my lesson is my lesson is if i don't turn up people tend to enjoy themselves more Oh no That's not the lesson Rosie 444 4 months What a horrible What's sad ending to that story

Poor Rosie Yeah no I think she's had to howl away Well this she's learned Or fess up to your mum and dad And go look I was gonna have a party Invite some people around But I'm not now

How do you feel about the thought Of your kids having parties When you're out Well luckily because of like ring And cameras You can't get away with that anymore Yes true You know there's no way you could

Without me knowing And I say Did some elaborate They're disabled in the fucking ring. Come on, mate. They're saying, text me when you get there,

don't press the ring doorbell. Or would I even check? But I wouldn't, if they were just at home, I wouldn't even check the cameras. No, exactly. How often do you actually check the cameras of your house when your kids,

you know, and my house are too young to be left? But yeah, you'd just get to that point of not checking, wouldn't you? Little bastards. Little bastards.

I have to hide all my, what would you hide? What would you have to hide if people came around, teenagers? It'd be documents as well would be weird, Isn't it like?

Yeah, because look, let's face facts. If you went around the house of someone off the telly, you'd immediately try and find like pay slips or stuff as going on. You'd be in the office through all the drawers, trying to find stuff. Your taskmaster trophy, shit like that. Oh, God. Let's do a small business. Enjoyed this, Josh.

Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. Long-time listener of the pod. Finally pulled my finger out to do this on behalf of my wife's business. Big shout out to an incredible small business making a big difference in Bristol. Cholton Earcare is run. by a superstar mum, Claire, who splits her time between working as a part-time pediatric audiologist for the NHS and raising three young kids. Cholten Ear Care was born of a passion to keep vital services accessible when the NHS

stopped offering earwax removal. She stepped up to fill the gap, or empty the gap, if you know what I mean. Wack-a-wack-wack-us. Yes. They offer expert earwax removal and custom ear molds for gigs, swimming, surfing, you name it. All my ensuring you can still hear clearly. Plus, with a specialist pediatric qualifications, she's one of the very few in the UK qualified to treat kids as young as four all the way up to 90. Find her at cholteneare.com.com. And please give her a follow on social media

under Cholton Ear Care, Spell like Cholton Football Club, C-H-A-R-T-O-N. Please support this hard-working mum, her family and a local business that genuinely care. There's thanks chaps, Nick Bridman. There you go. Good luck, Claire. Hi, Rob and Josh. I just want to say a massive thank you for keeping me sane through the absolute madness

of parenting two amazing boys. One age eight and one 11 months. Between sleepless nights, teething, and my eldest, newfound passion for arguing about everything. Your podcast has been my saving grace. I'd also like to give a big shout out to Nicky's Little Play Cafe in Dorchester, DORR, you know Dorchester, in Dorset.

an absolute gem of a place designed for little ones and children with special needs. It's got everything from magical sensory room to perfectly thought out soft place for both babies and older kids, but the real magic is Nikki herself. She's created a proper sanctuary of frazzled parents

and happy kids. She's genuinely one of those people who puts her whole heart into what she does and it shows. Thanks again for laughs and therapy. You make the madness feel a bit more manageable and a lot more hilarious. Lots of love and detol, Charlie. Lovely stuff. Josh, I'll see you next time. Tomorrow?

Not tomorrow. The next day we're talking, aren't we? Whenevs? Bye. Bye. Do we need to sign off? Like, keep parenting. Do you know what we do?

Don't have nightmares? Don't have nightmares? That was Crime Watch. Oh, right. Yeah, we need to think of a sign-off. I love a little thing. It won't get less busy. You won't get more energy.

This is it forever. That's a bit bleak. Hello, Parenting Hell listeners. Recognise that voice? Yes, it's Josh Widdickham here. I have got a new podcast, Josh Wittickham's Museum of Pop Culture, and I'm going to say it. I'm about 85% sure you're going to love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me, and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics

or politics. I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics. See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that realized Millie Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth the first. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr. Blob. When Ghost Watch convinced BBC viewers, ghosts were real. When a band burned a million pounds for a laugh. The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Ban musical with music from you too, and David Hasselhoff, Baywatch, and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall.

All of them are, by the way. Either you know what these things are, and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realised you wanted to, or you don't, and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiff necks will learn, loose next will laugh. next will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday. Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whitacom,

available everywhere from the 1st of January.