Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S11 EP6: My son had his tonsils taken out

Episode Date: August 26, 2025

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... it's the school summer holidays and there's some old school caravan park beef, and Josh's son has to have his tonsils operated on. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week you'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.

Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting wo. Because let's be honest, There are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Hello, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett.

And can you say Josh Whittuckham? Josh Whittuck. Well done, the sweet-art. I think he almost didn't say sweet-art then. He did that thing where you changed word at the... Well, it was very efficient. Yeah, it was. It wasn't like in the bath, or it was like, right,

let's quickly do this before I can log on to my next minute. meeting. Stuart and Kaylee from Derbyshire. Swaddling cot. Swaddling coat. Hi guys. What? Is that a place? Yeah. Sounds like a parenting hack. Swaddling coat. Yeah. You got to get a swaddling coat. Picked up the old swaddling coat from John Lewis actually. It's been a lifesaver. She was out like a bloody light. This is my three-year-old Willow saying your name. She took a few attempts to get Josh's name, right? We finally got there. We've been avid listeners since the very beginning and love the pod and make sure that we listen to old episodes on the long drive down to see family down in Surrey, keep up the great work.

Oh, thank you very much. He's very big, I think he's a business man. Yeah. Do you know what? We listened to the other day. We did a long drive. It's not like you? Yeah, I know.

Me and Rose listened to the first three Coldplay albums. I had the time of my life. Oh, that is so East London to Cornwall. What'd you mean? It was actually the other way. Well, it was the other way. Oh, same thing. You can't listen to...

I like a couple of Coldplay songs, but you can't. No one actually likes all the songs, do they? Well, that was the interesting. thing. I was like, why don't we listen to the first three? Because I've got no interest after that. And then I was like, do you know what that second album? It's fucking good. My problem with cold play is, I like them when they're sad.

Yeah. And then he's got a great. I hate it when they're bouncy and... Oh, I hate him bouncing. And the sky full of stars. Not for me. And he's got his colourful trainers on and there's paint everywhere. No, not for me.

I think Chris Martin is a good man and I think he's a funny. Actually, I remember him being very funny, when he used to do interviews. He doesn't need to do interviews now. But his clothes are a fucking shame. But look, I can't comment on people's clothes because I dress like a 13-year-old boy that's been given an unlimited budget

for the fake football shirt store. You're currently wearing a UFC's top with their world cup. I'm wearing a UFC top. And a copper America is incorrect. It's a UFC top I'm wearing. So I can't have a guy at his clothes. All it is is, but then everyone's like, you know, I think he's great to respond.

but I like him. I prefer him sad. I prefer him sad. And that gets the best out of him, but, you know, he's playing Wembley for 10 nights. It's hard to moan, isn't it? Exactly.

I don't think a white man in his 40s can wear a sleeveless top. He's 50s, isn't he? He probably is in his 50s, isn't he? Well, I'm 39, and I wore a vest at a caravan park at the weekend. How do you feel about that? Yeah, but that's a very different thing, isn't it? That's my natural habitat. It's more your rhapsy-Nesbit situation than you.

They're not on stage, aren't I? You've got to be really confident in your arms for a vest. I would never be confident enough in my eye. And your deodorant. You don't mind getting your legs out, though, do you? Got them out now. A lot of guys. What?

You haven't you? Oh, God. I moved too far away from the mic, sorry. And the mic fell over. How is your summer holidays going, Josh? We've not spoken for a bit because we've been busy. Oh, we've had a fucking nightmare with an iPad. You had a nightmare of an iPad and what's happened with the iPad?

Right. Let me tell you what's happened. So we were going on holiday. Can I ask a question before we start this, Josh? I know I get told off for interrupting a lot, but you don't, not by me. By Lou? Yeah. I like it.

That's the, that's the, I do less work. So I'm, how are you? Because you left me a voice note for a new idea for a TV show, which I think is a really good idea, actually. But it came across in quite a bit of manic energy. I'd been stuck on a plane for three hours. Yeah, you was travelling by a plane to come back to do Radio 2 after a family holiday. No, I wasn't travelling back for that. We were travelling back anyway.

You're all travelling back together anyway. Right, okay, so you're with your family. Felt quite... If you told me that you'd start drinking again before you sent the voice note, it would have had that energy if someone is at the pub going, I've got a great idea. So I sometimes... Yeah. And it is a great idea, by the way.

Thank you. But it just was very off-brand of your current energy. Because the way it works, right, is... It's a good idea. what happens, Rob, is we're all in the jungle and then we vote each other off, right? And we have to do these tasks. I didn't the BBC and buy it. Anyway, the point is, when I ponder over an idea for too long without an outlet,

I can get a bit, I can get a bit energized. It was great, but it was full of beans. But I think a, well, you'd rested for a week full of energy as opposed to a manic overwork spiral. I did also have the idea. I did also have an idea for a novel, but I don't want to do that. Do you know what your life doesn't need? It's a novel. A novel in the middle of it.

I think just park the novel idea until you're a bit older and the kids aren't. And you're not deemed a broken iPads. Let's go back. Let's go back to the iPad. Good to know you're in a good space, so, Josh. We lost some headphones from my son's iPad. So normal plugged in ones or are they wireless? They're wireless.

They're wireless. Okay. So we lost them, bought some more. They broke. Yep. So when I was flying out to meet them, because I was coming day later, Rose said, could you get some headphones at Heathrow Airport? Cool.

Didn't need the specification of which airport. That's fine, that's right? Yeah. Well, it does, actually. Yeah. Because if they'd gone, you know, like, maybe not. Or, if we were going to go from city, there wouldn't have been a bloody hope.

You'd come back with one of them businessmen, little Madonna mic headphones. He deals with. Sorry, I've flown out of city, this is all I've got. But I've got the Gile as well. So I bought some that had to be. plugged in because needs must. Yeah. So I'll find them easier only

I have a kid. Having to pair headphones when you're at a dinner table, just plug it in and get all of it. Halfway through the holiday. My son's just trying to play stuff out. He hasn't got his headphones plugged in. Yeah.

He's trying to play sound out of the iPad. No, you can't have that. It's an instant no at the dinner table. No, no, no, no. This is in our room, in our hotel room, chilling out. Right. No sounds coming out.

There's no, I can't work out of the reason for ages. They got a message there? Just a big ding and. It came up on the computer. I don't know how to turn that off. Okay. I mean, I think you need to know how to turn it off if we're going to do a podcast. I've quit it.

I've quit it. Okay. Enough on the dump. Will that work? Problem solved. Well, that was you though, wasn't it? Was that your WhatsApp that went off? Oh, it's my I message.

Who's our message in you? Rose. She e-message is you? Yeah, I know. Not WhatsApp. Well, my WhatsApps don't show up on my home screen because I don't like it. I just leave them and then have a look every now and again. Right.

So if you want to contact me. fast, do I message me? I've just I messaged you. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So despite the fact I've quit, it still comes straight. Yeah, so just so that you know. So I don't know what to do about that. Yeah, because if I send again, it'll go again.

Yeah, there we go. There you go. There you go. I don't know what to do about that? Well, yeah, so what are we going to do? Well, stop messaging me. We'll be the first thing. That's definitely avoidable. No, that's you again.

I'm also getting a vibrate on my phone. So as long as Rose doesn't message you Or you get a message from like the MOT reminder Yeah But I get about three text messages a day that are on Rose Okay Fair enough To give you an idea how few are messages I get

This has been a problem with my computer For five years And hasn't come up once on the podcast Until now Until now So I um Fuck sake That was me sorry

I'm fully aware of that I can see I'm coming up on my screen keep your hands on your head I think we've done this before Michael could you check how to turn this off January the 29th 2004 the only thing I've ever sent you on here is turn this noise off now

I genuinely think we've done we've done this before haven't we Michael thank God we're not in some interview I don't know how to stop it Michael if you could get the team to search how to stop this, and then I'll do it in a minute. I'll get to the end of my anecdote. Couldn't get sound to come out at the iPad at all.

Not like you. Did you iMessage him? See if that worked. Do you know what? Anyway, we'll come back to iMessage because I've got something to say about kids an I message. So then I realized the jack of his headphones had snapped off. Michael sent us a message to turn off iMessage notification sounds on a Mac,

navigate to system settings. Do you want me to do this now? Yeah. I mean, Josh, I don't know how you've not done this before. I don't know what... Where is? System settings. It's the cog, isn't it?

It's always the fucking cog. I'll just turn them off. I don't want them on my computer. Done. Perfect. There you go. There's difficult, was it? It's got bad to headphone jack.

So there was a jack stuck in the headphone. The bit had snapped off in the headphone socket. So is this an old iPad where it's got a headphone jack? So the main middlework, the charging one. No, no, no. So it is old in it's got that, yeah. But it's not old. old.

Yeah. It's within the time period where you'd be fucked off to have to buy on your iPad. Yeah, okay. Because our kids,

we have to get an adapter for the jack to go into the little USBC and it's annoying. So, because you can't charge while they listen. No,

just the end. So now it's in, Roleck and they're little holes. It's not enough holes. Why take the owls? Why take the Ports away? Well, I'll tell you why. Why?

Because now I've got a jack stuck in my headphone socket. Yeah. The iPad thinks there is constantly headphones attached so will not produce sound in any other way right okay so every person says oh what have you considered Bluetooth you're like of course I consider the fucking Bluetooth you idiot but it's stuck in it thinks it's got headphones in it hasn't I went to the Apple shop do you know what the genius told me what you have to buy a new iPad fuck off he can't suck it out

I couldn't believe my fucking ears you have to buy a new iPad because that's stuck in there. Yeah. As if nothing will ever get it out. Barlucks. So that's the genius advice. So what have you gone down sort of dark web advice? So I put it on my Instagram.

I asked for advice on my Instagram stories. Yeah. I said, before you give me your advice, I've tried everything to get it out. I don't need advice on how to get this out. Okay. What advice do you need? Should I go to a dodgy shop? Is there, has anyone been in this situation, what have they done?

Right. Okay. What did you try out of interest? I tried And is it completely flat Or is there a little bit sticking out at all It's no it's it's broken halfway So it's down within

So it's not even level It's completely No Right It's down within So the tip So if the headphone chat was a penis The bell ends in

The bell ends in The sharps snapped off Okay Yeah So I'm just trying to get the head around it I'll be honest To make it clear I managed

The shaft was originally snapped off Yeah When I pulled the shaft out The bell end was still within No, so the balls had been snapped off originally when you found it so that the shaft and the bell end was in And when you've attempted to pull out the entire penis The shaft snapped off and leaving the bell end within

Exactly Okay, you've got a hidden helmet I've got a hidden helmet So currently I've got After maybe 150 messages from people telling me I should try tweezers Do you think I haven't tried fucking tweezers I've got on

order a product from Amazon that is a specialist product for getting things out of the headphone jack of a yes you get rose to film you doing it when it comes yeah I will I will I will it's arriving today otherwise I'm going to have to go to one of the I think the next step is go to a dodgy shop surely I'm sure that I'm sure like a shop in soho's had a headphone jack stuck in I was thinking this made me a bit left field right but when my daughter got a um a splinter at Centre parks. They've got a little medical centre, so he went in there,

and normally with a splinter, it's like, put it in hot, warm water or get tweezers. Anyway, but they, it was really in deep, and then they brought this machine that's like a tiny little, almost looks like a big pen,

like that hole at the top, and it just, yeah, sucks. And it was just air and sucked out, so maybe you could suck the jack out. Yeah, maybe I could suck it out. Well, I'll try that. Talking of sucking,

can I talk, my kids are eating these yoghers called suckies. Yeah, they've, with our kids are fucking, rental for suckies. Right. For each.

But it's awful because my kids are like, can have a suckie? Can I have a suck? You can't say that. They can't call them, it wasn't suckies blow drops when you were growing up. They weren't, but I can see why they...

Suckies? We never used suckies, but I could understand why it was a blowjob. Yeah, exactly. But anyway, they're into fucking suckies, but they keep saying, can have a suckie, can have a suckie. I don't like it.

Yes, you can have a yoghap pouch. So you're, what is it, what is it, does it look like the thing you've got for the headphone, Jack? I'll send you a picture if you want. This is quite exciting. Do you all do it? I don't. Well, do you tell what, something I've done, techy stuff, you can get, you know, your screensaver on your phone, you pick one. You can select like a thousand photos or just individual people and it changes every time you.

Oh, that's good. So I have it on every hour. It's a different picture of the kids or Lou. Oh, that's nice. By the way, I've just got six messages. Is someone shouting? Is it me or I think it might be my kids. Sorry if my kids are shouting.

I can't have. So there you go. Oh my God. So it's like a tube. Can you see it? You're right. So I just felt really tired then. That's all right.

The kids are stomping around upstairs. Oh, so it's a little tube that you put in the jack. It's a tube that fits in the jack and then you push it in. So it's surrounding the thing that's stuck in the jack. So you're not breaking the actual. pull and then you basically clean it like you're cleaning a and then you put it out and it should remove the thing oh my god that's gonna feel so powerful you do that

well yeah if it works and then i'm gonna go back to apple and i'm gonna go you call yourself a fucking genius mate okay well i mean in defense of the genius she's probably just a person on a sort of she's been told she's been told that we can't we can't do that because we can't open up the iPads yeah basically um but i think if you i reckon try this if this doesn't work dodgy shop we'll get it out yeah we're not dodgy shop is it's just a phone repair shop, but it feels dodgy. It's non-accredited shop.

Yes, with the sort of weird Apple logo on it, a non-official retailer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bank more oncours when you switch to a Scotia Bank banking package. Learn more at scotiabank.com slash banking packages. Conditions apply. Scotia Bank, you're richer than you think. Should I quickly tell you this? because this is actual parenting news.

I mean, that was actual parenting news, but... It's all parenting news, mate. My son had his tonsils out yesterday. Oh, yeah, how is he? He's fine. His iPad's not making noise. He's not making noise. He's not making noise. He's very...

A bit like a ghost to himself. Do you know what I mean? Did he go under? Yeah. So he was... Oh, God. So was you in there with him? So we all went in.

We had to be in at 7 a.m. Your daughter as well? Yeah, because it's summer holidays. And we... So... It's an activity, isn't it? Get some out of the house. She described it genuinely as a family trip.

Oh. So we went in 7am. Oh, and we're not allowed to eat the night before or anything. From 3.30 a.m. Oh, that's not too bad. He's fucking starving. He was fucking starving in the morning. And we all had to have secretly had breakfast outside the room.

No. Surely you could have just swirped breakfast for a bit. Well, I took my daughter out because she was bored. And I was like, there's no point of her being hungry. So we went to Pratt. But this is all before 7 a.m. No, this is between 7am and his appointment at 11 a.m. Oh, so you had to get in there for 7 and then they go through the list, didn't they?

Yeah, and they go youngest to oldest, and he was one of the older ones. Oh, my God, what I'm brutal for a 4-year-old being the oldest. I know, I know, exactly. And he was really angry at how hungry he was. Yeah, that's not okay. Not ideal. So are the only reason I said before, I felt like, if he's gone in the... at seven. I'm like, fucking hell, Josh.

Just soldier through until five or seven. No, no, no. I get that. I get that. Josh was like, I just need some porridge. I'm sorry. I just, I just, I just, I just need some porridge. Secret porridge in the toilet. A couple of stuff of the porridge to toilet. Then the other thing that happened was, so we did this.

Rose had to go down for the anesthetic, which is all things considered, she found, and she's since spoken to her friends that have done it, fucking how. Yeah, of course, because it's medical, it looks official, and your child passes out. So you're basically holding a child down and knocking them out, and then they go, absolutely dead in your arms. Oh, my God. It's so awful. It's all floppy after crying and not wanting it.

You're doing the right thing. Exactly. And did he want her, or did you decide who went? Oh, it was default. It was default. Is in what way he always want to go hurt to her? We didn't give it to her, but she's his favourite. Right, okay.

Yeah. I've made my piece of that. It'll change. You wait, though, when it gets a bit old, you... Well, that's time taking him to the bloody footy. Take him down Plymouth and... Yeah. Yeah, well, maybe not.

But, um... Come on, let's go on to Plymouth. We've just been relegating, we've lost three in a row. Come on. Come on, cheer up. Yes, his Italy, growing up. Dropping like a stone. Anyway, I'll have a...

then he comes back up he's he's just all over the shop and he's quite wobbly from it but actually we were out by 3 p.m. seems too quite that it so what is your tons what are they nipping out they just they'll blow your mind you know they used to take out all your tonsils yeah so now they just give them a trim oh god so the tongs was that thing that angrily down at the back of your throat. So his tonsils, stroke adenoids, I don't quite know the difference, are too big and it means that he's constantly waking up in the night with sleep apnea. Have you got big tonsils?

No, but Rose has had her tonsils out in her 20s because they kept making her, she kept getting tonsillitis, so I don't know whether that means she's got big tonsils. Yeah, but yeah, because I thought some people, if they get tonsilitis a certain amount of time, because I think if you keep getting tonsilitis, you have to have it like five or six, seven times and then you can opt to have that's what happened to Rose. Whereas for him it's disrupted his sleep So he was waking up over all the time So he's gone for a little tonsill trim

So he's gone for a little short back and side On the tonsils He's having a nightmare they're scared For he's lost his iPad don't work He's in his tonsils treat It had to be done And last night he wasn't snoring nearly as much So it works

Yeah But for this week he's a bit He's a bit dodged He's missed out and I'm taking I was taking both of them To big feast of all But now I'm just taking my daughter Yeah, I don't, yeah, he's not ready for, he's not, he's not ready for music fest.

Are you camping? Yeah, we've got posh camping. Posh camping. I think that's any way to go. I know people do do it and I think I just can't. No, no, no, no, don't feel bad about that. No. Camping is fucking insane.

And if you're taking children camping, right, you're a fucking, hey, if you're doing it for budget reasons, fair enough. But when I try to go camping, it costs me about two grand to buy the kit. I'm sure you can find a cheaper holiday that is. I'm a happy medium. I've just come back from a caravan park. It's a static caravan. Talk to me about your static caravan. Well, they call it a lodge.

Yeah. It's a static caravan. It was great, though. So when I picture caravan park, I picture 300 caravans full of 70-year-olds in a field with some showers. It's an absolute wild west, the caravan park, that swing, it's like Bitcoin.

It can swing wildly to sort of... Yeah, it covers really different things. Yeah, so, so what this one we go to, it's down in the new forest, which is amazing. Do you like the new forest? I don't really know it, but I've heard it's great. It's so underrated. It's so good.

Basically, it's like, the kids love it because everywhere, like, when you're in it, it's all cattle grids every. You're just driving along, there's just animals everywhere. Yeah, yeah. Horses and they're called to Dartmoor. No, but, no, but is that what they have in Dartmoor? Yeah, not pigs, horses, sheep.

How many, no, but roaming free across the roads? Yeah. What, in Dartmoor? Yeah. Is that the same? Yeah. Why don't people go there then? They do.

Do they? Yeah. I've not known anyone that's ever been to Dartmoor. On holiday? They go to Dartmouth. What does it? Well, they're just walking about? Yeah.

No. I was there the other day. And there was about. 30 sheep in the road and I just had to kind of confidently push through them with my car, not making contact just before you just got to confidently move and they will move out of the way. Right, okay, so it's a bit like the new forest. Anyway, new forest is like Dartmoor, I didn't know this. So, but what's quite good is, so the one we go to, there's like Portons and Pepper Pigwell,

which is nearby. And also there's loads of nice pubs you can walk to and there's country parks and there's like, loads, just those stuff, but it's just driving around and seeing all the animals is amazing. the kids all love it. But the key to a good caravan park is you want one that hasn't really got a clubhouse. Right. Why?

Because the club, and you want one that's got more owners and holiday makers. And so it's not busy when you go to the little bar. You want a little bar and a play area. But if you have a clubhouse and it becomes a bit too lively. So it's a clubhouse. So a clubhouse is where there'll be someone like running bingo and there's a steamer.

And then because the one we went to have a little bar on a restaurant, and it all shut by about nine. So it's more aimed at younger kids and older people. So do people own caravans? mate, I can't believe how expensive. They stay at caravans, right? And they're nicely done, but it is literally cardboard. I think if I'd run at the wall, I'd come out the other side.

Yeah? Yeah. And I was looking at them up for like, some of them were like £300,000. Fucking. With the pitch? Wouldn't it have to pay yearly? Jesus Christ. So there's an extra fee every year?

Yeah, to be on the caravan park. But anyway, it's got really good fun and the kids loved it. And what's good about it, because it was a smaller one and there was mainly younger kids. They went on their bikes. And the eldest, because we went with another couple, the eldest was like 11, and the youngest was mine who was seven.

And they just went on bikes, rode bikes around without us. So they were like, they felt like they was in the goonies. It was like this. And it feels so big to them and stuff. But there was beef on the caravan park, Josh. What? There was beef.

There was a group of kids being mean to about kids. Oh, God. So they come back. And so my daughter was on a bike, and she came back over to me. crying, her leg, she are proper off the bike, knee, graze, blood all over a knee, all dirty from gravel in it. Oh, God.

Said that this kid jumped out on her of the bushes, jumped out and shouted at her and chased her, and then she tried to get away and slipped and fell off the bike. Oh, Jesus. So anyway, I pick her up, take her to Lou. She's refusing to have a sterile wipe and it'd be so dirty. That is a classic. It's an absolute parenting classic. is the, just let me spray the fucking heart.

I want one fucking wipe. Just so that I can say to myself, I've done it. Yes, and it was so day. And I was just like, just wipe it, wipe it. And then I went, I'd add a couple of drinks. Did you do, oh, well, that's fine. If you want your leg to get gangrene, that's fine. No, I went, how much do I need to pay you?

I went, I'll give you a pound. She went, no, I went how much? She went 30. I went 30? in the end, we agreed on 20, which was mental. But then I hadn't given me any pocket money for the trip. What about the other sister? She's dragging herself across the gravel in the hope of getting 20 quid.

Yeah, I mean, that was bad, but, I mean, it was, like I said, it was bad parenting. Yeah, but it's lovely to hear that other people are doing stuff like that. As I did it, I was like, this is terrible parenting that I would judge. And then they went down to the trampolines, and then they'd come back, went, oh, they kicked our can of drink over. So it was a proper, like, and then they went, oh, we've run up. to us and said, we wish, oh, I can't know what it was. It was like, you're dead to us. So did you step in?

Well, then I was like, just say to them. You don't want to play with them until you leave you alone. And then it carried on. And then I saw them in the playground bit and there was like a zip line. And my daughter was waiting enough to have a go. And then there was the three kids that had been a bit mean were like doing the zip line. And then I was like, right, it's her go now. You said that.

No, I could see. And I was like, I just knew that they weren't going to let her have a gut. Yeah. Because they're being mean to. Now, there was three kids. There was one child that was definitely the ringleader. How old are these kids? Following that kid about, they're probably between like nine and seven.

Right, yeah, yeah. Similar age to the younger ones. But they had older brothers that were like, it's about 15, 16, 17, 17. And then they kept them going like, oh, if you're mean to us, we'll get our big brother. Which when you're nine is the scariest sentence, anyone can never say in it. Anyways, I'm watching. I was like, and he basically jumped on the zip line again and didn't let my daughter ever go.

So then I just wandered over and just sat with them. And then you could just feel the energy changed slightly because they're like, oh. And also, you always know when a kid's a naughty kid because the way they react to an adult when they come. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? We're normal kids don't give a shit.

They're just, it's a person nearby, but a naughty kid always looks at you a bit like up and down, like, oh, they're going to catch them. So anyway, I just sat there. And then when I sat there, they gave the thing over to my daughter because I think they knew I was there counting goes and then that carried on and then they were chasing

and they'd come over to went they keep chasing us they keep chasing us on our bikes and were their parents kicking around anyway right now we saw the parents once just sat at the bar not getting involved

with the older kids I get the impression the young the naughtyer kid maybe wasn't getting enough attention right was causing trouble and then the two other kids

with him were sort of following him along right that's what that's impression I got so anyway the friends we were with the mum went up and just said that she just said went up to the kids went so has anything happened between of our kids done anything to you guys because you know that's a good way of framing it what's going on because you know you keep chasing them you're jumping out of them you're knocking their drink up you're not letting them have goes have they done anything to upset you guys

because if so let's all just apologize and move on that's a great that's a great way of and then they were like no and then I think and then the two kids that were sort of following the naughty board got a bit upset because i think they were like oh yeah we are just being a bit mean for no reason oh god and then then it got really awkward because then the older brother come over and went oh look yeah i have overheard them saying mean things to the kids i'm really sorry um and then he brought the the younger so this was a kid was about 16 really nice boy it's like you'm really sorry and he brought them over and got them to apologize and then it was really oh but um but it was fine though it was just kids got to learn that kind of thing haven't they but yeah it was just like caravan park beef you've got a

love bit of caravan part beef and is that your first trip with the kids to the caravan park no we went to we went there a few years ago what are your facilities like so in the lodge it's the caravan you got basically we had like a four-bed one so the biggest one they do but both families were in it yeah two double beds and then one both with toilets and then a main toilet and bath and then two tiny little twins that literally it felt like a, you know, the sleeper, smaller than the sleeper train carriage, right?

And then you've got a living area and then a little deck bit, but then on this one it had like a park, it had trampolines, it had a little splash pad area with water in for when it was high, if you have a swimming pool, but I'd say if you avoid the swimming pool

caravan parks and avoid the clubhouse ones, then it is a bit more calmer. You know what I mean? It felt like this one was very much people with young children staying there to go to Pepper Pig for the weekend. So get there Friday, go to Pepper Pig Saturday, come home

Sunday or Monday or whatever. So it was really good actually. It was like English, like, I quite enjoyed that they're having beef with other kids. You've got to learn to... Do you know what? You've got to be exposed to stuff, haven't you? Yeah. It's difficult with stuff like that because you don't know how much you should step in.

Well, yeah, because we didn't step in at all, apart from I went and just went up there to make sure they were getting a go on the ride. But then it was getting to a point there where they weren't comfortable riding their bites because these other kids just kept chasing them and it weren't a fun game. So that's when our friend said, have they upset you what's going on? And then it was fine.

Yeah. It all got sorted. But, some bit of a holiday. Oh, gosh. Stuff like that. So weird, isn't it? Because we were on holiday and my daughter was made friends with some other kids. And you forget how, oh, here's something.

Because they were all doing synchronized swimming lessons. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, there's synchronised swimming lessons. My daughter was loving it. Do you find the people on holidays that lead to these classes of kids arrive at these sort of like beautiful, like people that have fallen from the heavens of angels that just love kids, love fun, and they're in it 100%. They love the kids.

The kids love them. And then it's like, who is this angel person that can deal with all this? And synchronized swim. Yeah, and synchronized swim. It's either that or someone that looks on the edge. and their soul has left their body and I'm like, why did you pick this as a job? I know, but I think it's the difference between July and September.

I think that's where we are, really. Yeah, maybe. It's a bit like the people that host Magic Radio in the last week of November and then the week before Christmas, they've gone. Do you know what I mean? They've absolutely, They love it.

Last week of November, they're like... You should do a Christmas show of magic, like a special one. Oh, yeah. Love it. Anyway, it's the synchronized swimmer. Yeah. And I say, I was like, fair play to her. Yeah?

Yeah. Afterwards, you have to sign, yeah, to say you've done it. And then it gets billed back to your room, right? Yeah. And then there's a space for tips. Okay. Yeah. Totally acceptable.

Yeah. I want your views on this, because I thought, fair play to her everyone's grafting here yeah fair enough if you do it a few days in a row yeah which we did what synchronised swimming yeah it's what everyone that wasn't like well she was doing it all day so there was like there was one woman just that mainly did synchronized swimming was there was about four of them right i suppose it's a good way to do get him doing something in the pool when it's hot they do swimming lessons as well but what kids are going to choose swimming lessons right but also it's something they're doing the pool that's quite contained rather than them

just going mental. Yeah, it's great. So they're doing, you know, I mean, they're not doing, they're doing, they're doing, going under the water, they're doing, going under the water with legs in the air, all that kind of stuff. And is this, is this a self-catering holiday, half-bored, all-inclusive? What we're dealing with? You can, you can choose. Right, okay. What were you doing? We were doing half-bored. Right. All-inclusive is of no use because I don't drink. Yes, I understand that. The only, yeah, and I think I'm very reluctant to pay. pay any extra when it's all-inclusive. When it's half-bored, you accept that

there'll be, I don't like leaving an all-inclusive with any bill at the end. No. I'm just like, well, exactly. Come on. Come on already. Include the synchronized. So we're paying extra for the synchronized swimming, but you're like, you're on holiday. It's, you're learning good swimming skills. Yeah.

It's great. Anyway, every day, yeah, the tip at the top, which was of the page, yeah, was too high. And exactly the same she suggests a tip no you have to sign so you sign to say they've done synchronized screen say build this back to my room and then there's a gap for tip like it was a

bar so what have you put in for the tip well this is what i'm saying at the top rob there is what i'm calling a fake entry with a very high tip to guide people what's you mean a fake entry what so oh is it like a book that you all sign yeah so it's like columns so you know like when you um this is a bad example oh we've signed you know like when you sign you sign you know when you sign signing back, you sign in the stage door of a theatre, that kind of thing. Right, so it's, say, for example, there's a couple there, their kids are called A, Bishop, S-Bishop, tip to do synchronised swimming, room 402, tip, five euros each, right?

And then now it's Josh Whitaker's turn to put his kid's name. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, what's the fake tip? What's the top tip? So the suggested tip, yeah. Not a suggested tip, the tip that the first person has put on every day is a 75% tip. A 75% tip. Wow. That's no one's tipping 75% for synchronised swimming.

Well, I found out, Rob, on day three, that Rose had fallen for it. What? Rose had been like, oh, that's what you tip. I'm getting out. 75%. 75%. Who's tipping 75%? So do you think that was a fake one at the top?

Yeah, because it's the same every day. There's no one who starts every day on their own tipping 75%. You know, don't follow the form. That's mental. I end up tipping 50 out of guilt. That's insane. I know. You wouldn't have a tip 50% for a meal.

I know, Rob. Because how much extra services are they given? They're either teaching synchronised swimming or not. Exactly, Rob. They've got you synchronised tipping. It's good. Exactly. It's incredible.

They've got, it's a good skill, Rob. It's a great skill. Great scam. Yeah, it's great. And do you know what? I respect it. Fair enough. And was it a good holiday in all in total there?

Yeah, very good. Kids behave. Yeah, the kids had. Do you know what? Flying out. Have I spoken to you since I flew out the day after? I haven't, have I? No, because you went out a day after because you were working on your own.

It's bleak as fuck. Flying on your own? You think. oh here we go this will be nice actually the night before on your own in a hotel in Heathrow yeah do you know what I think it's a short

hall it's bleak long haul yeah there's a moat but then it's still you're not you're missing all the fun with it the best part of a is like the arrival the excitement because you go and you sit and you just like so this is what happened I got to Heathrow at 4pm on Saturday

I'd booked my hotel to be the one there's one hotel where you can just walk straight into Terminal 5. I can't remember what it's called. Suffolteau. Soffatel, that's the one. Get off the old Lizzie line. Yeah.

Check my phone. What time is the flight in the morning? I'll tell you in a minute. Also, you've got there earlier as well. Four o'clock, it's a long time to kill. Yeah, because I'm fucking knackered, because everyone left at 5 a.m. The Saturday morning.

So I've been up since 5 a.m. to get them out of the house. And then you did Radio 2. Then I did Radio 2. then I came home, sorted the house out, packed everything, and then went straight to Heathrow. Get to Heathrow, check the emails. Yeah. The email I've got from booking.com that I haven't checked properly.

Yeah. It is to say that my hotel booking didn't go through. Oh, my God. And you find it out. Yeah. Because you don't think to look at the confirmation email when you get it, do you? You just... No, you would explain...

When it's gone through on the app, you then get an email saying, we've refunded it because it didn't work so it's happened to two people i know you my friend and me what they did but theirs was their fault of in orlando we said we're stand in this hotel like this hotel near universal studios and um when you need that a room in this thing anyway they booked it they got like a big family room on booking dot com really good price anyway they emailed them saying you need to update your credit card details she kept in ignoring the messages ignoring the messages and then literally the day before they left they had no hotel and ended up booking the same hotel for a room half the size, double the price.

Oh, fucking hell, that would destroy me. That would destroy me. So mine wasn't as bad. I just had to, there was no rooms available in the Soffertel. Right. I had to book. So you had to walk to a hotel at Heathrow trying to go to? No. I then found where you can get an Uber from at Heathrow.

Because my hotel was three miles from Heathrow. Oh, no. But the point is you want one opposite? Because I tell you why the point is, because I get that. It's rammed with people. You're on your own, you're knackard. Everyone's fucking pissed because they're about to go on holiday. This isn't exciting for you going into a hotel on your own

because you do it on tour all the time. It's 5pm. So just go out to my room. Phone down, so this is what time after. What time did I have to get up, Rob? I had to get up at quarter past three. What time was your flight? Six.

Oh my God. Fucking mental. So I'd get a car I'd get a cab as well I'd get a cab booked 10 to 4 25 quid Fair enough I wouldn't want to do that for 25 quid

So go in And then finally get through Yeah This blows my mind Get to the departure lounge Yeah Nothing's open So what time do you

get there, quarter pass? I got in at half four. Half four, right? So an hour and a half before your flight, so that's, you know, definitely, you're not too early. Nothing opens till five. So have you checked in and gone through? Yeah. So I mean, a closed departure lounge, like, nothing is open because no one thinks I'll be in here yet.

So was anyone else there? Yeah, other people from my flight. It's walking around aimlessly. I had that come back from Berlin after the Euros. It's horrible, isn't it? It's so weird. So then what did you go and sit by your gate? No, because I had to get, I had to wait for curries or whatever it was to open

so that I can buy the headphones that would go on to fuck up the iPad. So if you only had six nights here in the end or four or five nights? Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Saturday, Sunday. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, five nights or whatever. Yeah. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Wednesday, Thursday. It was good, actually.

It's good to have a break because I'm sick of... Fuck it. All they do is eat my kids. I'm constantly making them breakfast, making them lunch, a dishwasher, a dishwasher. It's because they're bored. It's because they're bored. They keep asking what we do. We've done loads of fun stuff. I took them swimming the other day, went to the cinema. I'm sure I used to just sit and do stuff or meet up with friends. Maybe I was older because I don't remember what I was like when I was... I'm sure I didn't need as much stuff. I remember going to the crash at Asda in Swanley a lot.

Yeah. they don't really do crushes at supermarkets anymore, do they do. No, I don't know they do. And then they do. And then I would do a big shop while we were in the crash. And you had Sonic on the Mega Drive, and I loved it. I just, I do really think that some holiday should be split, give, make every half term two weeks.

Yeah. And add an extra week in October or Easter. And only have four weeks off in the summer or something, or three weeks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's. It's mental. It's too long.

It's insane. But we're coming to the end of it. I think my kids hate me now as well They're just bored of me It's a good thing It's mad I took my daughter to her friend's house today Yeah

And then she's now She's going with her friend So that her friend can buy school shoes But you're like, why not It's better than being here It's too hot London in the heat It's fucking shit Yeah it is unbearable

I think when it's hot like that It's so bad You hate London I hate London There's those to do though There is What have you done Any good day trips

Have I done any good day trips Well we went away for the week We did the hospital on Monday What you got planned this week We saw your house stuff out Yes Because my son can't go anywhere Right oh you got a big feast of all

She'll love that Should we go into big feast of all We went to see Freakier Friday at the cinema Oh yeah good I'll be honest I'm full of sleep I also as well like Have you got this Are your kids into this

K-pop vampire thing? K-pop demon hunters K-pop demon-hers Obsessed They love it Yeah what is it Um Don't know

Because I fall asleep when it's on It's just gone massive Hasn't it? Huge Not as big as the Grand Prix of Europe That's out in the cinemas this week I got invited

To the premiere But I couldn't go My debut as an animated voice actor If I want to see Enzo the Parra A.K. Rob Beckett In there Oh yeah

The Party You were born to play The part I was born to play But you know K-pop demon hunters They're obsessed with They love Freaky Friday But Freaky Friday

And my seven year I went Yeah I didn't like it that much It felt like they used all the good ideas In the first one Oh wow Fucking Mark Kerr mode Over there

Did you know Should we do a quick email And then we'll do our thingies Small business We don't normally do an email At this stage But I just fancy one Do an email

And then we'll do our small business Do you want to do other parents Whankers? Oh yeah please Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael, I have a couple of stories that you might appreciate for this. Please don't use my real name. They're good friends and my husbands, and I can't be bothered to deal with any fallout. Do it right in if you've been anonymous on this, but people have still worked out who you are.

Do you get much fallout when you mention stuff and people say, you mention that about me on here? No, I've actually got away with it so far. I just shout out. I'm trying to earn a fucking crust here. Exactly. That's right. You don't have appear on the podcast. Don't do something weird near me. Do you know what I mean? Both stories are the same couple.

They've got children slightly older than ours, but they're absolutely insufferable. At a kid's birthday party, they went around telling any guest who'd listen that their eldest wouldn't be getting a tamagocchi. She'd asked for for a birthday a few weeks later as they don't allow screen time. Oh, come on.

So the kids are insufferable with the parents? The parents. And this is her husband's friends. So these aren't random school. They've added, this was a couple of months after their son's Andy, Andy's dinosaur adventure theme party. The implication being that's a TV show. So there we go.

Oh, yes. When they spotted my child's advent calendar at a dinner party, they felt they needed to tell us they had avoided elf on the shelf and chocolate as if this was a huge achievement. Instead, oh my God, this is mental. also a non let's be honest the details are so clear

they'll know it's there brilliant instead their child received a small bag of a different spice every day in December and was told a fun fact

about each spice a spice fucking what a little kind of fucking spice a little bag of spice the drug spice zombie

no screen time for me zombie and up in the ice street no like so what would that be like paprika some cardamon Here's some card.

What? And he has a snit, a bag, he has a sniff at a... What's the use of that? Who cares? Most adults don't put spice in their food. No. Anyone else I'd assume this was a lie. And whilst it's performative, I really think they do this.

Keep being sexually and relatable. Kind regards, gobble, gobble from a non. Do write in if people have got terrible versions of their own Advent calendar. Yes, yes, please. I had friends at school, and they used to have. at kind of, what would you call it? Material with 24 pockets and they just move the toy

along. Oh, I don't mind the material with a pocket if you fill it with your own dreams. No, no, no, no. They're just moving a counter along like they're counting off days in a fucking prison. Also, as well, let's have shit Advent stories

and then we can do us, we can do the Christmas, put it on a Christmas special. shit advent calendars and also because basically heading towards september secondary school starting university starting i want to hear because people are going to be listening to this i've got kids their kids are going to uni and it's the big flying the nest moment what funny or stupid things did you do in your first week of uni not like i'm not looking for sort of like in between us rudeness but like my friend for example he went shopping it's normally the shopping and the cooking, I think, when you fall down.

That's when you first had to do it. My mate, I went around my mate's house, who bear in mind worked with me at Safeways the year before, near where we lived in South East London. We went to Samuni, and he went, I was around his flat, and he was like, oh, I'm hungry, yeah, I'm hungry. He went, do you want to pizza? I went, yeah, all right?

And he went to a cupboard and got the pizza at the cupboard. And I'm like, what? And Bear in mind, he worked at Safe, he worked in the chiller section of a shop. And the pizza had come out, and it obviously had mold. what was warm, when I had mould on, a bin in the cupboard.

And I was like, you put that in a fridge, and obviously he knew that you put it in the fridge, but it was like, oh yeah, we just put it in a cup. Do you know what,

I had a worse one than that, Rob. Go on. So I got to you, Ney, and we did a food shop, like a, do a food shop. I think we did a food shop in Devon

and we brought that up as well. So it's like, you've got your first amount of food. Shove everything in my room. I've shoved a load of food. under my bed not thinking about it two or three weeks in i think what's that smell in my room and there's decomposing potatoes and they grow again no they were like wet dripping they were obviously in a bag they'd sweated it and all gone wrong and it went into the carpet and it was

No, like dripping mold juice. So the worst, my friend was moving out of his halls, everything had gone empty apart from an onion that I'd been put in a Tupperware, but not put back in a fridge, put in a cupboard. And it was just this like airtight thing. And it was like, should we open it? Oh, no.

And it was so bad. All of us had to run in the garden and be sick. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Sorry if anyone's eating the dinner. Right, let's do small business. Well, I've got a couple of international ones here. I've got one from California and one from Norway.

Oh, yeah, give you one from California. Hello there. Ron Smith here in Pasadena, California. I've been listening to the Parenthood and Hell podcast since just after you began. Well, around seven years ago, I was searching for a tartan plaid. Is it plaid? Plaid. A tartan plaid harness from a Westie.

I found what I wanted and ordered the item. I didn't realize that the company was slash is in the UK. Leave it to say that now seven years on, the Westie's harness has become a bit dirty, but still looks very good and strongly made. It is not possible to find a product as well constructed and designed anywhere on the internet. Trust me on this point. That is why I started purchasing from Eco Dog Design Co.

So you have a listener in Pasadena, California, contacting you in the UK so that you mention www. www.com. My dog buddy Wagner, the Westie, can vouch for the durability design and kindness of the proprietor. Amazing. Also, I would not know what to do without hearing your witty repartee every single day. Thank you from Ron in Pasadena. Yes, Ron in Pasadena.

Is that what Bill and Ted are from in Bill and Ted's excellent adventure? Maybe. Have you seen that? Great film. Have it a little look. Hi, Josh and Rob. I'm big fan of the show, having only relatively recently started listening to keep me entertainers carrying out various monotonous task renovating my house.

I'm a stepdad to my girlfriend's four-year-old daughter. Hearing the parenting trials and tribulations of you guys discussed has definitely made parenting feel less daunting and pressurized for me. I'd love it if you'd give my business a shout-out. I run a coffee shop in Burke Hampstead, Hertfordshire, called Dower House Coffee, D-O-W-E-R, D-O-W-E-R house coffee. We serve specialty coffee and make our food in-house, much the same as the podcast. This endeavour was born of lockdown, where my brother, Aiden, sister-in-law, Laura and I hatched

the plan to open Dower House coffee. We've been open almost four years and have made a good name for ourselves in a great town with a lot of hospitality business competition we've become locally and these are his quotes famous for our various flavors of cookies which we soon hope to retail online and deliver them around the country you're the things that have grown out of lockdown well i know pay us a visit to try them and the rest of our menu thanks keep up the good work rory at dowerhouse underscore coffee lovely stuff big up you guys josh i'll see you next time see you next time bye Thank you.