Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S12 EP12: Lou Beckett (The Return)

Episode Date: February 13, 2026

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) it's the return of Lou Beckett. Lou's brilliant new book: 'Lessons from a Default Parent: Surviving the Front Line of Family Life (Without Losing Your Sh*t)' is available to buy now. Parenting Hell is available to watch on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  (Copyright 2026) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is presented by Vauxhall. So Josh, News UK have voted the new Vauxhall Frontera as the value car of the year 2025. Rightly so. And do you know why I can say that, Rob? Why? And you know this, I've test driven one. Oh yeah, and I've been test passenger.

I got to drive the Frontera. Fools. A, the tech was so good, right, that it was just simple. I felt like it was my car the moment we were moving. Yeah? We had loads of bootroom. You saw that. Oh, I had a little peek in the bus.

back. I was thinking this is perfect for a family. It was spacious. It was easy to use. And do you know what as well? No offense. I wasn't too near you. No, no exactly. There's so much space in the front. I didn't feel like I was touching you. I couldn't smell you. It was great. It's available in electric. It's available in petrol hybrid. The electric is cheaper. It is available from 23, 995 pounds. Ah, that sounds like value to me, Josh. That's great value. Great value. Top value. Do what I did, Rob. Test drive for the new Vauxhall Front. today. Discover more by searching Vauxhall Frontera online. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with...

Isaac, can you say Rob Beckett? Bucket. Beckett? Can you say Josh Whittacom? Not bad. Not bad? Money's over there, yeah. The money's over there?

The money or mummy? It's got to be mummy, isn't it? You know where he's from, don't you? Geordyland. Yeah, Newcastle. I love a kid with a proper full accent. This is Isaac, Rob. Yeah?

741 days born Christmas Eve. Ooh, that's a bad one in it. I started listening to the podcast in lockdown before kids. Now I have Isaac and recently welcomed our daughter Martha, who is seven weeks old, born on my 40th birthday. Oh, what a fucking hell. So we are in the trenches with two under two. Fingers crossed, it gets easier at some point.

My wife keeps telling me at will. Seen Robin Newcastle a week after Martha was born. Oh, wow. He was 7 out of 10. No, he was class. I'll take 7. Anyway, today is a big one, well. Oh, yes.

We have got, on the show today, promoting her new book, lessons from a default parent. Yep. My wife, not yours, Lou Beckett. Yeah. Her book is available now to buy in shops or online. Should I name some? Waterstones. Yeah.

Foils. Yeah. W.H. Smith? T.G. Lewis. Yeah, all of those. And online. And online. Amazon. I like hive.com.com. Or if you like the audiobook, there's an audio book. And I appear on the audio book. Audible. Spotify.

I don't know what you're doing. Just naming places. But it's available now to buy. Excited. There's a good, it was a good interview. The library. Lou was very nervous. Yes. So nervous. Bless it.

But she's not used to these kind of media interviews. She was very, very good. She was brilliant. There's been some people we've had on who I wish had been a bit more nervous. Yes. I think some people we've had on were too overconfident

where I think Lou should be more confident. Exactly, exactly. But you know, I think it's hard though. I think she was like, oh, this one will be right because I know you, but I think it's actually harder with people you know. Totally.

She'll find the other interviews easier. Yes, totally. I think it's weird when you're being interviewed by someone who you've kissed on the lips. Plenty of times. particularly being interviewed by two people you've kissed on the lips, am I right? What are you implying that you've kissed?

Lou Beckett! Welcome to the podcast, Louise. How does this feel for you, Rob? Well, we commuted in together today, didn't we? We dropped the kids off at school, but we got a bit late because there's a burst water main and it shut some gates at school, so we got trapped in traffic, then we had to get to the station, and then I had to get a slightly later train that or not than I would have liked.

I was here first, for the first time ever. Yeah, so we had to get it late. a train and then my bag dropped in mud and then I had the ump the coffee shop was shut and then a pregnant lady nearly fainted on the tubes who had to help her off. Was the pregnant lady Lou? The train. The pregnant lady was not Lou. But we're here now and Lou said on the way

in that I was being really miserable and ruining her day. He was, no I didn't say, oh yeah did tell you were ruining my day. Now I said that he was being a mood hoover. Right, could I defend myself here? Well, yeah, could you let Lou finish? Sorry, Don. You can defend yourself. You can defend yourself.

I like how Joss is the mediator. I'm sure you'll be fine to defend yourself. Let me ask you. Sorry, Lou. I'm quite nervous about book promo, and it's very much out my wheelhouse. So I was trying my best to be excited and energetic and jovial. And having someone that is finding every single thing about their morning difficult was not helping. You did come in with an energy, Rob.

Did I? That was after I cheered him up. A good energy. An intensity. that can only be brewed up from commuting to work with your wife after the school. Yeah, I don't know if cheered up to right. I think I annoyed him to the point where he stopped being miserable

and was more annoyed at me rather than in general. Can I finish? Can I say anything? You can defend yourself now, yeah. I stand by this. When I get to my job, I will be on and I'll do my job well. A little too much. On the way in, I'm allowed to be miserable as I want

on a commute and a packed train in the middle of January. Yeah, but I'm coming to your job with you today. I know, but the job hasn't started. No, it does. That starts when we're getting no. On my commuting, I'm allowed to be as fucking miserable as I want because I'm stuck on a train. I'm sorry you're there, but this is how I go to my job. So what I'm hearing here.

What I'm hearing here. What I'm hearing here. She was trying to annoy me. And then in the end, she got her fingers. I made them dirty. And then wiped them on my glasses. Made it dirty with her what? Just like, just like, tried to get dirt on her fingers to wipe on my eyes.

Try to make them quite hot and sweaty. I rub them together. Then I rub them on his glasses. See, that's good. She's diffused. Right. So some people might see this situation. Yeah.

I'm not saying I do. Okay. As quite a normal day for you. Yes. Quite a nerve-wracking day for Lou. Thank you, Josh. And so I suppose the commute is a stressful thing for Lou. Yes, because she's worried and nervous about it, and I'm used to it, so I'm being too, so it's my fault.

No, I'm not saying that. Okay, sorry I was, sorry I wasn't jolly enough, but I find it hard to have fun on a South Eastern train. Now, as we say to the girls, if there's a butt after a sorry, it's not sorry. Yeah, that's a good phrase. Okay. Well, I'm sorry. Is it just southeastern trains or other train providers that you have? No, that's the only one from that.

Okay. Yeah, well, sorry I was being a bit miserable, but I am a bit like that. I'm sorry, I'm making up. Yeah. It's always so difficult to do a sorry without a butt. I know. Because, because you're an ass like mine. You're allowed to.

won't quit will it you're allowed to do you can still be sorry but have just not justification but go the reason I was in a mood yeah anyway I'm sorry I'm not the man you needed at that point thank you

but you're the only option I'm definitely the man you need now I've said to the girls before and I know this is bad parenting you don't have to actually be sorry you can still think you're right in your head all you have to say is the word sorry

and we can move this on That's not good. I think that's fine. It moves. It moves. It moves it along. No. No.

Is that what you do? That's how I apologise. I don't think that's what we should be saying to the kids. Okay. You take control on this. So where did you, we, for full disclosure, you then arrived, Rob. We interviewed Prince Nassim Hamid. Yes.

Where did you go, Lou? I went to have breakfast by myself. Oh, love. You didn't want to meet Prince Nassim? No, I wanted to go and have breakfast by myself. Fair enough. Fair enough. Did you have a nice breakfast?

I did have a nice breakfast. What did you have? I had eggs and toast and then I had a little side plate of crispy bacon. And a little bowl of beans. Arguably, you had a full English but just on different. Yeah, just a different bit. I don't really like my through touching. A sausage in a bowl and then.

A toast on a plate. I like lots of plates. Yeah, fair enough. Right. So, Lou, you've written a book. I have. Yes. And we don't normally.

normally do promo so specifically early, but I've read the book and it's brilliant. Thank you. I don't like reading PDFs, but I pushed through. Thank you. Can you imagine if you're like, I've read the book? I think it should. But we've got to do it anyway. I like PDFs.

He loves PDF. I love PDF. Any chance to open Adobe Acrobat. Really gets you going. This is a hard copy. So I've read the book actually, and this is the first time I've read a book for a guest we've had on. But I've read this one. Lessons from a default parent.

I suppose first question, right? Yep. And it's a really good book. Thank you. We're going to get in, A, you can write really well, which is more difficult than a lot of the books we've read for this podcast. Or you've read for this podcast. Or I've read for this podcast.

Yeah. And I think what it is, right, is obviously we haven't helped this ourselves. There are a lot of books in the parenting genre, right? But what I loved about this, right? is we talk a lot about practicalities, right? And parenting comes down to often funny stories, practicalities, what do you do in this situation? What's your tip for this situation?

How do you deal with X? This is a deeper conversation because it's about identity. And I think that's something that gets ignored a lot. But it is key to kind of the experience of parenting. Yeah, I think that's where it kind of went almost inadvertently because there's loads of parenting books out there that tell you how to do this or that and think and quite frankly I wouldn't have the audacity

to try and tell people how to like actually parent because obviously everyone... I was pleased when I saw that you hadn't done that. I'm not here to tell anyone how to do it or that I'm doing it right or I've just told you that I tell my children to apologise but still think they're right in their head just to move the situations along. Sometimes she's got to get a mate to be and move it on.

At that point, trying to unorder it from Amazon at that point. Don't think this is funny. that just found out about that technique we've been teaching our children. It's about, for me, I really, really struggled with who I was once I became a mum. Once you get out of the actual really hard bit

of having a baby, it goes on for fucking ages. It just doesn't stop. And I know that there's a lot of people going, obviously. Of course, being a mum doesn't stop or being a parent doesn't stop. But it just went on and on and on and on. And the longer it went on,

the further I got away from the only person I ever remembered being. Yes. I don't know if that makes. Yeah. Totally. And so had you kind of considered it before you became a mum that this would happen? No. Because I don't think many people do.

And I don't think it's, I'm not saying that you should have. I'm saying you don't really, do you? No. And I think, I mean, I don't want to like negate the point of the book. But I think even if I'd been told, you go, yeah. But I know what having a baby's like. And I think you're so focus on the problem. practical bit of it, you're going to have a baby and it's going to be tiny and cute and it's

not going to sleep and you're going to have to look after it. Yeah, yeah, you think it's all sleeping and shitting. And it is. A lot of it is sleeping and shitting and dressing them in nice things and stuff. Yeah. But then there's this kind of big thing where you go, oh, oh, I'm not who I was and I don't know how you get back to that because now so much of me and what I do and how I perceive myself and how other people perceive you is all to do. with this tiny little person

who is the most important thing. Of course they are. And they end up growing up and then you're not needed as a mum or dad as much because, you know, they're at school where in the first few years it's 24-7 so then it's slowly the actual parenting responsibility drops slightly.

Yeah. And then you're just to go, well, I'm mum, but actually they're 15 and at the shops. I just think that really surprised me. And I remember being in our flat in Hither Green with our eldest when she was a teeny tiny baby and just kind of going like, that little dawning realization of not I can't do it,

but just that you can't do anything anymore without it relating to the child that you've just had. Yeah. And when you say it now, I'm like, of course you can't. That should be obvious. And you do know that, but until it happens. Yeah, of course. And I don't think, I just wasn't prepared for it in any way.

No. In any way. Well, there's an interesting thing you say in here. Let me get the, oh, like. Rob's got a massive dick, is that there? That's not made it in there. No, no, no, no. Actually, before that, I should say, so for the definition,

it's a really interesting term, the default parent. So what does the default parent mean for people that don't understand that term? I see, this is where I think I should have a really slick little 20 second answer that I can... But don't worry, we've got so long to fill in these pockets. It's all content's content. Let's work it out together. The default parent is the one that... It's beyond mental load. Because I think we all understand what the mental load is.

And I think that's covered a lot across a lot of different places. The default is kind of almost one step beyond that. It's that assumption of responsibility all the time. So it's like being the CEO or the COO of your kind of family. Yeah. But it's a job you've not ever applied for. And if someone had probably given you a job description, you'd probably have gone, no, thank you.

That's a bit much. Badly paid. That's too much for one person. It's too much for one person. Badly paid awful hours. Yeah. But I say, see, it's that kind of, it's the years long now, but it's the assumption of responsibility all the time that, yes, both parents have,

but I would say in almost every dynamic in whatever way it happens, you know, whatever your work split, whatever your kind of gender split, whatever that is for you, There will always be one parent in most situations who is assuming that role. And it probably has never actually had a conversation about it, has never actually laid out, well, this is what it's going to be. You do like who's going to go back to work and what hours and all of that kind of stuff. But someone in that dynamic has probably assumed most of the responsibility.

And unless they specifically ask for something to be taken off their plate or specifically get some hours covered by somebody else, It's being in charge all the time. Yeah. Which sends you mad. I think that was a perfect description. Yeah. To be honest.

Okay. You said it wasn't going to be perfect. Yeah. It was four and a half minutes long. About a thousand words too. Too many. Like, you know, with that the default parent, it's normally like if there's a stay at home parent or someone's working part-time.

Because it makes sense. But then even within two like parents that are both working full-time, someone will still assume slightly more of responsibilities and become the default. And in our relationship, it's a bit clearer because obviously I was working all the time at a point in my career. It's like it was just unspoken, but just assumed that you would and stuff. I think it may be hit. I don't want to be like, oh my God, it hits so much harder for me. I know I'm incredibly lucky.

I'm not being like, woe is me. But I think that when we had our eldest kind of three things happened, I think it was three, kind of simultaneously, of like we had her. I'd given up, I'd gone part time and then I'd stopped being a teacher completely. because my health was off the scale. So I didn't know much about this. And you were flying career-wise. So it was like everything all at once. I knew you'd been a teacher.

Yeah. It was really, I mean, one of the first things, when you said, I love history and I loved kind of communicating it to these kids. And I did think, when you got home, I just can't even imagine Rob relating to someone being a history teacher. I don't think I'm ever. ever spoken to you about your job ever. I just couldn't imagine.

Rob going, yeah, I can imagine what you get out of that. No, the whole time I was thinking, why is she fucking doing that? Sounds horrible. Remember once,

when they stole your glass, they used to call you wonky glasses because we didn't have any, we had no money and loose glasses were so old and wonky. They called her wonky glasses. And they wanted to stole your iPod. Sam my iPod.

Smashed my mum's car, windscreen. But you say like you were going on Saturdays to help kids Yeah, we did Saturday school. I worked at a school where we got them, not we, they got themselves very good grades, but there was a lot of intervention put in. So I worked at school in Thamesmead,

which if you know London, or if you're not from London, it's in, yeah, southeast London. We were sandwiched between like an industrial shopping estate and HMS, not HMS, HMP, BELMASH. You know, it wasn't getting many from Belmarsh coming in, were you? They were going there. She was getting caught on route But you know, it's a very...

Not going on in terms. Not to be glib about it, but there's an incredible bit which almost like took my breath away where you said the kid that Rob talked about in his best man's speech. Yeah. Not best man's speech,

his groom speech about you. How much you've done to help that kid is now in prison for murder. Yeah, I really wish I hadn't found out about that because I had him as my like, I've made a difference. I'm such a good person. But it shows what an extreme life you were living.

But that was after Lou was teaching. That was enduring. Yeah, yeah. I'd say I delayed the inevitable. Once he found out that Lou was no default parent. No, but what I mean is like, you would really put yourself into this kind of career which you believed in and was difficult.

And then... Lou was so good at it as well. Every Ofsted was outstanding. You were incredible... Lou was an incredible teacher and talented and good at it as well. Thank you. I just, I really, really love history

and I liked the relationship with the pupils and I liked having colleagues and I had a really good department I worked in but like my body was just not having it anymore. So you basically had to stop because of ill health. Yeah, so altitude of colitis, quickest way to describe it is my body

will try and shit itself to death in any stressful situation which doesn't really work if you've got to you. You know, which really shines a light on love the lady this morning when Lou was stressed and he wasn't helping.

Oh, yeah, but she's in remission now, so I can push the boat out of that. Yes, I'm not, I've had a flare for riches, but what my flares come from, we've worked it out, it's stress. And then, obviously, that job was quite stressful, and it just, it escalated to a point where it wasn't feasible. I mean, I, I caught you, didn't I, before in our bed sitting new cross?

Court you is a weird word. Yeah, I was working by the door. But, you know, but, like, Lou's, like, I think Lou, like, making a joke about that ultra-pholyitis is, so the ability. We'd go on holiday. I remember it was in New York, weren't we? And like, you could have been trapped in the toilet for like five, six hours. Yeah, and you were out, you were out

in the sights, weren't you? Well, once, remember, on our honeymoon in Venice, Lou was, uh, um, it was in the toilet and it was like seven at night. It's like, I just got, I think I'd be in a all night. And I went out for a walk, didn't I? You said, I went to a walk, and I don't know if this is, I've been a great lie. She told you, she told you to go for a walk. I think that's

and there's something you can do at that point. I just think to be left. I'd say, if anything, if Lou's shit, herself on the toilet. She probably doesn't want you there. Are you shitting yourself on a toilet? That's the question. No, but I, when Lou said go for a walk, she didn't say, also find an Italian bar and watch the Champions League semi-final until 10 o'clock. You're a lovely time.

I had a nice time. But yeah, it was impacting us quite a year especially. But you write, I found it very moving and, because you know someone's a teacher, but you don't know what it means to them. Do you know what I mean? And you forget that about your own teachers and then this, it's kind of, you know, kind of slightly heartbreaking bit where you re-interviewed to be a teacher and it all goes wrong. Genuinely, I think it was a single worst day in my life.

Yeah, you do say that. And I've been blue-lighted to hospital. And you shout yourself on your honeymoon. Why, your husband watches your vendors versus Real Madrid. And so you've then become a parent. And by dint of being a mum, that is a role that is defined by someone else. Admittedly, it's your daughters, but you're still suddenly defined as someone else. And so that's a really difficult thing.

And I think we focus a lot on the practicalities of stuff, but you don't focus on the psychological kind of feeling of losing yourself, right? Yeah, and I think I properly, I realized it more in retrospect, actually, I think. Like that interview I did, which... The job interview. Yeah, the teaching interview. And like, I don't know how I've only ever been. a teacher. I kind of worked in events for a little bit. I've worked in a pub. I've worked like,

but my only kind of career has been a teacher, so I only know teaching interviews. But they go on for so long. It's like hours and hours. It's like a half day, sometimes a full day process. Yeah. So they watch you teach a lesson. They watch you teach a lesson and they've always given you something that they don't really care about. So there's not much material on it. It's like, I had something like St. John, not St. John's. And do the kids know that you're a kind of tri-out teachers? Oh yeah, yeah. They all know that you're there. And this is secondary school, secondary school. So they've got two teachers at the back who are watching you and making their little notes. And I've done this. I've been the teacher at the back watching somebody's interview and I want to apologise to everyone that I watched what they scribbled my little notes.

Like I should have just sat there with a supportive smile and thought those things in my head and not written them down. Because also it's like doing a driving test in that it's not a reality. It's such a heightened situation that you're not teaching natural. And a lot of my behaviour management is based on like knowing the kids and having that bit of rapport and I'd have a tin of biscuits. and bribery. Bunky glasses. Nick your iPod. Yeah, I'd give my iPod. I'd let me smash it. You know, it was fun.

But that, you've got nothing in those lessons because you don't know them. I don't know if I, I think I might have put this in. But I thought I was doing some, like, really good behaviour management. I was walking around the class. I like getting in with it. So I was talking to them. I was walking around. I'd already had to get one of them to start my PowerPoint for me.

Because despite the fact I'd done it the day before, I couldn't remember how to start a PowerPoint. I'd lost, I'd lost. I mean, it wouldn't start strong. And I was walking around the classroom. Louis is susceptible to a complete and utter head loss, you know, like gazzar on the pitch crying, Gary Lineca pointing at him kind of vibe. Yeah.

There's no Gary Lineca, is there? No, there's no going to, there's no going to. There's just no point in a teaching interview to stop and regroup. If I could have had two minutes just outside having some deep breaths and a word with myself. But I was like, then the lesson was going okay. And I was ignoring the teachers in the corner. It was fine.

But I like walking around a classroom and kind of doing a little bit of gentle. like, oh, you know, little gentle behaviour management. And they hadn't told me, they give you the data, but they can't give you lots of data for the kids, obviously, because it's protected. So they give me their levels and whatnot, so where to pitch it? Yeah, you did put this in, by the way, and it made me, want to eat my own hands.

Yeah, it just, I wanted to gouge my own eyes out and just kind of collapse in a little, like, Wicked Witch of the West, melt puddle, where they hadn't told me one of the girls as very hard of hearing or deaf and lip reads. So when I was walking around, she couldn't lip read what I was saying, because I was behind her. So she kept asking the girl next to her to repeat it. So then I kind of did a bit of gentle,

oh, you know, why are we talking? Do you need something? Oh, God. And then they went at the end, like, oh, you know, you couldn't know this, but she's actually deaf. I was like, well, that can't count against me, surely. You can't count that against me. I think you've got to tell the person.

You've got to tell someone. That's got to be, I'd say fact number one. Just say a girl in the class lip breeds. Can you stay at the front of the classroom? Sure, fine. I don't think that's protected data as well. No, because obviously, death's the hardest one to tell, isn't it? She's not going, I'm a secret deaf person.

Yeah, of course. It's not, yeah. It's not, I don't want anyone to do. We're blind. If there's a dog and sunglasses. Exactly. It's more obvious. No, what I'm saying with someone as deaf, it's a harder one to spot, isn't it?

Oh, no, it just, and that set the tone for the day. I couldn't get my breath. They had to tell me, like, at one point in the one-on-one, she was like, do you need a minute to calm down, take a breath? And I was like, fuck myself. Would you ever? Would you ever go back to teaching? I would love to in some capacity.

I still think now, like, I've got half written schemes of work for PSHE topics. I don't know what either of those terms mean. PSH is like personal, social or sexual health education. It can be economics. It can kind of, it's the big cover all for everything that you should learn at school. But they don't, because you can't get a grade in it in an exam. I'm going to go on a rant now. They don't deem it's important enough to make a subject.

Here's my soapbox round then about PSHE. you have to do it, it's compulsory there's no official curriculum but there are things you have to cover but it's all the important stuff like not being a fascist and not being radicalised and not getting pregnant at 12

and not consent and taxes is all of it but they're trying to squash it into like half hour of form time they don't waste money on something they can't get a grade for and the person that normally ends up doing it is somebody like me who I did it in my old school

who they can't find anyone else to do it because it's quite a lot of responsibility because you have to do the whole school for not very much money or resources or curriculum I still like do half half like PSHE curriculums in my head and like how I teach that lesson or I do I really miss

and I miss having like a staff room to go to and a colleagues Yeah because that's the other thing is Yeah A workplace Not always but certainly in your case You're part of a team Yeah

And you're You've got measurable things that you're achieving and all that kind of stuff and then you're at home on your own. I love someone to go, good job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Certificate. I bet you'd have a-

teaching staff. Yeah, and you weren't getting that off your husband. That's very clear that he was nothing. If you tried to do something. I don't know I've ever spoken about working, your job, history. Would you ever ask him about his job now? No, nobody talks about work at home doing. No, no.

No, wants to talk about their jobs at home, do that. If I bring up my... You don't talk about your work at home. No, I don't. Oh, piss. Leave it out. Oh, here we go. All the time.

When? I barely talk about work. Agree to disagree. Would it be that he's asking for advice on it or would it be you're not going to believe what happened today? Ramesh did X, Y, well, be me going, I've got to go to Coventry and say that. You tell me how you feel about things quite a lot. Too many feelings. What were that one?

I'm going to say sorry and move on. we know what that means I know what that means I'm never going to trust one of your sorry's ever again I'm not sorry so much sometimes she's got to move it on Lou loves having the fucking up with me sometimes you'll try and push it so I have the

you like having a little row about something we had a row and we got back for a holiday with both jet lag because Lou was on a bit of a woman on a mission getting stuff done and I'd say had quite a strong energy and I said it's like a wild tiger's been released in the house and Lou went mental at me and stormed upstairs.

Yeah, that's a mistake. That was rude. I was right. I was single-handedly taking all the Christmas decorations down while you watched the football, which I was absolutely fine with. I was like, I want to keep awake. You watch the football, I just want to potter. And then I did have a little snap at one of the children.

Was it Arsenal? It wasn't even Arsenal? No, it was Tottenham were playing. I can't remember. Main City Chelsea. No, it was only at one point my daughter said, Mommy, what's for dinner? She went, what?

I know. I didn't apologize. I just tried to move the conversation as quickly as possible. And it was on all fours trying to sort of manically get all the Christmas decorations away. And as she looked up, she went, what? So that's what it looked like a tiger slash animal. I just thought it was rude and unnecessary to comment. Did you step in and go, I'll make dinner. Well, yeah, I did make dinner.

Oh, that's good. I was doing lots as well. We both doing lots. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You've diffused it now. Well, there's another bit. I just want to get the quote.

Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there is a quote that I disagreed with, which is when you describe Rob was the nicest man in the world apart from your dad. Well, I also slag him off quite a lot, so we had to balance it. Right, right. There had to be some balance somewhere.

I don't think I'm the nicest man in the world. But one of the things I think is really interesting is this is difficult because you don't want it to sound like a woe is you thing. Because you don't address this. But I think it is. is worth is that if you're worried about losing your identity, you've got the double problem that I think being married to someone famous is in itself such a damage to your own personal identity. Because if you go to anything, you are, the focus is on Rob. If you go to a restaurant, people are excited about Rob and then, and I often think that with Rose is, it is a, you know,

publicly often it's a supporting role. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and I think no, but I think most people as well would say, oh, what's Rob up? Yeah. Even when you speak to you, they'll chat to you, but then, because they'll think they're being rude if they don't mention me, and then you are sort of like Rob's wife a lot,

which must be frustrating if you're already struggling with working out who you are. Obviously, our lifestyle is massive benefits. We're very lucky, privileged. And I don't, and I never mind talking about you. It was more that I felt like I didn't have anything to contribute for myself. And you kind of realise over a period of time, you go, actually I talk about a lot about what the girls are doing or where we've been or what we've done or what they've done or enjoyed.

And then I talk about you and people go, and what have you done? I go, absolutely nothing. Do you know what? Like I've been to soft play, I've been to play. I've been to play group. You tried Messi play. I went to see Andy in the Odsocks.

Get your nails done. Oh, that must be good. Message. Oh, Andy in the odd socks. They were great. They were great. And he was great. He was lovely.

They were all lovely. No, no, no. No, I slept our two-year-old. It was in Shepherdsbush. We went all the way up, obviously with South East. We went up in, across, out. We paid extra for the meet and greet tickets at the end with the photo. And she watched the show with kind of, I'd say, a perplexed ambivalent.

Is that our daughter? Are you talking in the third person? That's our daughter. So they did all their songs. They've got like an album of songs, but they had like a big inflatable dinosaur. It was very, they've thrown everything at it. She watched that with, yeah, I don't know if she, She was enjoying it, but she was processing it.

And then at the end, you could queue up and have a photo with Andy and the odd socks. And she lost her shit. I mean to get near them. She was screaming blue murder. So I've got this photo where they're all grinning manically. And I'm kind of wrestling this screaming two-year-old. And then on the way back, she trodding dog shit, managed to get it all up the back of her trousers. I haven't.

I've interviewed him about this. I feel what I've been asked. It's weird, though, isn't it? Because Andy and the odd socks, to a point was one of the most important people in my life for about four months. And then it just evaporates. Mr. Tumble was on the telly all the time. He still is. If we just don't watch the programs anymore.

If we had Mr. Tumble on the telly now, all four of us ago, what the fuck is he doing in the front room again? Do you know what? My son put him on over Christmas, and you could see my daughter watching it almost nostalgically. Even though she's eight, she was like, oh wow, I remember the song. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, because I was going to say, like, I know that Rose used to struggle, didn't enjoy going to parties with me or something, maybe partly. But like, until she started.

working again and then she got much more felt more caught she didn't enjoy being the oh what do you do I just look after she really didn't like that do you know what I mean it's a difficult it feels that what it's not emasculating whatever the equivalent is yeah I think it's hard because you kind of almost have to hold two things two things can be true at the same time of I'm really proud of being the girl's mom and I'm really proud of the work I put into into it and I really enjoy it and I love it. You're amazing at it, you know. Thank you. I try my hardest at it.

Niceest man in the world. But also at the same time, you can go, when people go, oh, what do you do? You go, oh, I'm juster. And it's so hard not to put that juster. But then if you don't put just a mum, you go, oh, I'm saying, hi mum, you can't go, but I can do more or I did do more. But you shouldn't have to do more because you're doing fucking loads. You're doing loads.

Let me tell you about this interview I did to be a history teacher. But it's an issue, though, that most default parents and most time they all women deal with because, you know, you don't want to say justice because it is hard and is it like a full-time job. But there is a finite amount of time when your kids will become adults. Yeah. And if you've lost your identity and you're a stay-at-home parent, all of a sudden you're facing like, there's no one in the house. It's why the empty nest is such a big thing. Yeah. It's like, who am I and what do I do now?

Because, you know, when you're 50, you could live for another 40 years. and what do you do with that? Oh, I'm a mum. Well, you're not anymore because they're adults. Yeah. You know, what is... You're always a parent of Rob. Yeah, I know, but it's not like filling your day anymore.

No, no, no, no, totally. No, I just think it's that thing of almost trying to be all things to all people, but like trying to be all things to yourself as well. Yeah. Of like, I almost felt like I wasn't, I didn't have anything to add to a conversation because I hadn't done anything, but I had. I'd done loads, but it just wasn't anything necessarily either new or I don't. end up talking about the girls or I'd end up talking about Rob and like I don't know if

Rose feels the same way it was very much apart from I'd say one I shan't name any names one isolated incident at a party we were at where someone asked me what I did and I went oh I used to be a teacher and now I'm a mom and she went oh lovely and then kind of she literally shut the circle or they yeah that's all right famous people with me on the outside of it and I was like oh cool it's been a me thing of no one really has ever made me feel less for saying that I just no it's all in your own head of course you've spent your whole life up to that point having something to say something you've done somewhere you've been something you've achieved at work a funny story and you're suddenly you go like have you done nothing I sat the wall

and cried it's so weird isn't it and it's it's difficult because I think people feel like oh I've had kids so I can't I'm you'd say it in the book you're incredibly lucky you know how blessed you're yeah completely so it's really difficult to then go but I feel like I've lost my identity. I feel like I'm doing. But now, how does it feel, does it feel weirdly exposing? Because I, for a living, obviously,

for the last 15 years, have, and Rob has, put myself out there. Like, the word probably creatively is the wrong word, but you know, like, gone, you're basically walking on stage, going, I think these jokes are funny. Or you're going onto the one show

and you're going, I think this TV show I've made is good. Or I'm funny. come to my tour. You should come to my tour or you should listen to my podcast or you should read my book. We're opportunity whores. Yeah but I still find that utterly exposing and terrifying and awful.

Even now 15 years is. Like I had a conversation with Ramesh recently where we both agreed the best thing to do would be if you could just make the things and then they never came out. Yeah. Yeah. The actual creative process of writing the book is the joy

right? But now you, how does it feel to do that? Again, it's that... Because I hate it, so... It's the two things of wanting the two things to be true at the same time. I've really enjoyed writing the book. I found it really cathartic and validating and it was really nice to have the opportunity in a kind of longer form to give proper voice or body to the kind of feelings and

thoughts that, and a lot of the time didn't even realize I was having it at the time. It was really, I don't know, quite... I don't have cleansing is the right word. But like cathartic, validating. to get it all out there and then to have other people read it and then go, oh, me too, or that's how I felt,

or that's been really nice. I don't fundamentally, and I know that, like, obviously I've been a teacher of student front of classrooms and stuff like that. I don't really like speaking in front of people. I don't really like talking to new people.

I'm not very good at putting myself out there. My kind of default, no pun intended, is to go over it in a book. It's probably a bit shit, just leave it, don't waste your money. Like, all of that, but like, do waste your money, please buy it. But that is,

I don't know. Look, we all feel like that, right? You swing between... I don't know. She said her head's gone. You swing between I'm the New Virginia Wolf and this is shit

no one should buy it on a minute by minute basis. On one hand, I'm really, really proud for it. But then on the other hand, I'd be quite happy if no one looked at me ever again. Like, don't look at me,

don't look at it. And would you like to... But I want it... Would you like to do a different type of book after this? Yes, I loved writing. I love the process of writing.

You're incredible writing. How did you fit it in? Like, how was it suddenly going, this is now, like, or not even fitting it in, but how did you go, okay, now I've got to approach this like a job. Like for the first time in, what, eight years? Please tell them how you started writing the book.

Can I, I said, get yourself a nice new laptop and go to David, we've got, members of David Lloyd, right? and go to David Lloyd, they've got a workspace place in there. So you can go there, do the bit of the gym if you want, go to the slide, there's got like a spa sauna, then you can write all day, they can bring your food and drink and get yourself a new laptop. You can't take a laptop in a sauna.

No, in the workspace. What Lou did was decide to write it at home on our iPad. iPad? Yeah. It got very slow by the end. Tapping the screen? No, no, I had little bit more. Oh, right, right.

I was going to say, finally. No, she had the keyboard. But obviously, an iPads is that as powerful as a proper word program. assessing laptop. Yeah, yeah. So then your iPad went really, really slow. I was all right till the end. You know, he wanted to go back and, like, change some words.

And it was taking three minutes to load the page before. I was like, this is not. So you were doing that? Like a little hamsterhand type of. I couldn't do it at home because I will just put, hey, you on the telly. I watch Real Housewives or something. And like, oh, right at the same time, I didn't. I had to go out of the house.

Do you think, well, he's right. If I got a laptop to work, I think it's a good idea. And I was like, I'll just scroll back to where I said, buy a laptop. And then Lou had the cheek to come to me one day, she went, tell you what, I've been down that David Lloyd, it's really good down there to write. True or not? True or not? No, no, very true. You were right.

Thank you. Eventually. Would I say sorry, I've not been it? Well, no, I'd say 98% of the book got written on that iPad. Yeah, in the iPod. I was worried it was actually going to physically implode and I would have no more book. But I know, I enjoyed it, and I think that I just,

it was quite nice to have something where I go, I'm going to go and work now. Like, this is what, but also, it's, the girl, are in school so I could drop them off I would have most of the day then I think when they go to school is when you're I think as a parent a weird opening of so much more time than you did when they weren't

but on top of that you have a logistics of mental load of PE day swimming clubs pick up time drop off other parents other parents parties and stuff like and it just like I was fairly across it not last year the year before but then the last year I was away from home

I mentioned to you 180 to 2009 last year. Mentioned it. Lou was fucking out, mate. Lou was doing everything. He dropped it in a couple of times. But I know nothing now.

I've got no... I only found out the other day what our eldest teacher's called. Didn't you know what I mean? That was bad. That is bad considering this podcast is quite a big part of your identity. And he found out what she was called on our way to the meeting for parents' evening. We did this with Ramesh and it felt like we'd just jumped out with a quiz on him.

but where we got Lisa to answer things. Oh yeah. We could do a few on you now, Rob, actually. I hadn't considered this, but let's have a look at the mental load. What day has been day? Oh, I know that. That's Sundays. No, Sunday.

It goes out Sunday. They clip Monday. They collect Monday morning. Okay, good. Okay, Rob. What day is PE for your daughters? Now. What day is it today?

One of them took in a PE bag this morning. Can you remember which one? It's Wednesday today. Yeah, so PE day is Wednesday. Swimming day is Wednesday. Oh, you done me with a PEE, babe, shit. I don't know, I don't know what any of the days are. Okay.

How do you name? Lou, give me the number of clubs that they both do? Should I try and say the clubs they do? Yes, but we just need to know the target number. So I've done new clubs this term, so some of them are different. No, it's not. I should be across it, shouldn't I? So how many... It's just, for the record, three days into the new term. Do you music lessons?

counts as clubs. Yeah, yeah, okay. I'm not going to put the new one in that they haven't done yet, but starts this term. I don't mind putting that in. Okay, I'll put that in. You know it. Okay, I do know.

How many? Seven. Between each. Oh, no, no, between them, between them. So one does football. Yep. Club. One's doing drum lessons.

Yep. One's doing singing lessons. Yep. Lego Club? Yeah. Circus skills? Yep. Fuck it now.

Lego and circus Choir? No, they don't do choir anymore They used to do choir Yeah, she had to give up choir for football Oh So it's two more You pleased about that

You got to be honeymoon for football No, she stopped coding, she didn't like it Tarkwondo went down the swanit's definitely not that Got a full Tart2 full Taquondo kids over I'm just guessing that The others I've got, let me No, no idea

The first letter, Lou. G? I was going to do it phonetically G? G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. Oh, she's been doing. Gaming. Gaming. What's been doing it's so long. Gany. Gels. What's the other one? What's the other one? Circus. Circus skills. Circus skills. All right. I bloody love circus skills. The other thing about you, Rob. Which I know from your time in the comedy circuit is you love people that come from the circus. world. You think they're the best

performers in comedy. Daddy, we're going to the fringe to do street performing. Oh yeah. You're smelly little hemp jumper. You're shit juggling. Roberts. I love some of those skills, actually.

And what are the timings of school? So, 8 o'clock's the early as you could drop them. Yep. And then 8.35 doors locked. Nice big gap. Yeah, lovely big window. Pick up.

We've got 8 to 8 15. That's tight. That is tight, isn't it? Yeah. We've got big old window before you're late. I think there's a lot of commuting. Before you have to do the walk of shame through the office. Say it is ours, but we live on the next road.

Yeah, but you're not on. Who's commuting to exit, isn't it? They are, Rob. Walking into town. No, not walking. No, people drive into Exeter. The Met Office is based there. The Met Office.

That's it. Thank you, Lou. Do you know what? Be respect. Not just an knee jerk anger. Sorry, I didn't realize that the Metzhenel was the... The Met Office. Sorry.

I told you he was in a mood, didn't I. And then pick up is like 3.30 for both of them, which won 3.20? There used to be 320. They're 3.30 now. Both 3 30. Yeah. Right, yeah. So free 30. And then sometimes there's clubs. Then it's like, yeah. Clubs are 430. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. And final question. What are there lunch choices? So lunch they have at school, but there is a snack box.

Yeah. And in that goes breadsticks. Yeah. Miscellaneous fruit. Yep. And which fruits would be acceptable and I acceptable? Blueberries? For one. Which one?

Strawberries? Yeah. Both. Both. And that's popcorn? For one. Not really a fruit. Yeah, I know.

I don't know, but this is only what I've saw from this morning. Bad, isn't it? No, it's not. It's been away a lot. It's a division of responsibility, which makes sense. It doesn't mean it's a, I'd say, it doesn't mean it's a bad thing that you are or not. No.

Each relationship falls into a way. Also, I should, you know, if someone's listening to this podcast for the first time, because they've come through Lou and then they've found out that we're, I'm the husband of Lou Beckett. Then I should say, go back to, there's no doubt in the world that you're a. really caring and involved parents.

Saying it out loud like that means that it looks like I'm not. Well, you didn't know, you didn't know breadsticks. I didn't know breadsticks. That would be my down for. You didn't know bread. No, no, but you know what I mean? So that's why we can play these games. Yeah, of course.

Oh, yeah. You've been very nice. There's people we've interviewed where if we played this game, it would be so awkward. Yeah, no, I'm not. I think I'm clear in it as well that it's this situation isn't because you're selfish or anything like that. And it's not necessarily even a bad situation. It's just, because it makes.

sense. A lot of the time it makes sense. It starts with that biological thing of like, you're off, you're with them, and it's not necessarily a bad thing. It is just that, you know, I felt very lost in it and it's taken a while to get back. And I think it, I think it's great to articulate that because I think it's an important thing to say. I think it's, I don't think like, you know, obviously that there's, you've given a lot of caveats, but like, it is something that loads of people go through and it's something that isn't talked about as much as, you know, a child failing to latch on

or, you know, minutia. Yeah, because really, we spend our whole lives in our own heads and these things, that's what our identity is so important to us. I think if you're looking for like very specific parenting tips, this is not that book. This is not a podcast. Yeah, it's not a parenting book per se. It's my experiences of being,

a parent and then being the default parent specifically and I hope when other people read it that they feel kind of validation in a way of like oh it's not just me yeah or that happens across a lot of different people and places and I mean there are there are sorry I'm not no I'm from reading it it's like it's a book for people that feel slightly lost and alone as a parent even though that's on the surface yeah on the surface everyone is great is you know healthy kids, life's going well, but you can still feel a bit like, I'm happy with where you are. There's a really good bit where you say, and it really struck a call with me, even though I'm not a woman, is where you say, I don't know if the maternal instinct is a thing.

It's just that you've got to look after this child. And I think that's a really important thing to, like, say is to go, you know, because I think there's a lot of pressure that you go, oh, I have to feel this exact way because that is what is. And love every second of it. Otherwise I'm not a natural kind of. And something's wrong if you're not loving every second of it. Whereas actually I go, I worked really hard to be the parent that I am. And there's nothing.

And I'm proud of that necessarily like it might not have all gone like. Just been a natural. Yeah. Because you hate you being pregnant. I've never known anyone hated you. I'm not a very pleasant pregnant person. It's not. I think that's.

It looks shit. Yeah. People got, I should just say that by the way. I mean, it looks like how to do. You don't like their body. No, I don't like pregnant women's bodies. Do not clip that out. What do you think of pregnant women's bodies?

I think they're beautiful. I was going to ask as well. Is there anything you've heard on the podcast that you, obviously you give me my right reply in the book, which is in there, and I appear on the audio version of the book where I have my right reply from what's written in there because you do give me a bit of shit, which is fair enough.

No, I don't need to use specific shit. I'd say the non-default parent, which a lot of the time is men. So am I the non-de-fold parent? Yes. I think you can, the word non and D are two negatives, so you could just remove both of them and then you're the fault. I'm the fault.

You're the fault parent. This isn't like a men are terrible. It's just that the majority of the time, the default parent tends to be whoever's the mum in the dynamic. Obviously, change all of that. I say this at the beginning. Change any of the pronouns, terminology, whatever I'm using to suit your own family.

family set up, whatever that is. But a lot of the time it is the quote-unquote mum in the scenario. This isn't like, oh, men are terrible, they don't do anything. It's just recognising a reality. When we were kids, right, if your mum worked, especially when I grew up in South East Sunday in the 90s, if your mum had a career, basically in a playground, they'd say she didn't love you, right? Because your mum works.

What? Oh, she doesn't want to be at home of you because everyone's mum was at home and the men went to work. Yeah. So now there's a world where it's more, it's easier, it's still not perfect, but it's easier to be a career woman with children. Nowhere near as easy as it is for a man, but it's more common now than it was.

But now there's his undue pressure to one, be a brilliant mum, but also make the most of being a feminist and have a career. And you can't do everything perfectly. It's too much pressure. The men's expectations of sort of being like, oh, you need to do a bit more parenting. But like for the women, so you've got to be this perfect woman that can be a mum at home, do all the parties, do all the amazing stuff,

but on top of that, have a career. And it's like, it's a lot of pressure. And I think actually it was Ashley in B's episode where she sat down. I loved her episode. It was brilliant. It was the first time I'd heard that people, and I think read this book, listen to that episode. And before, you know, because the ship's sort of sad for a lot of people that have got kids. But if you haven't got kids yet, if you listen to that episode and read this book and go,

right, right, what are we doing when the kid comes? Not with, you know, feeding and who's doing milk. at this point, like, how much, are you in charge of that or am I in charge of that and have a discussion about it? I would say, and obviously, I know I would say this because I'm like, everyone should buy it. But I don't think it's ever too late to stop and reevaluate and look at things and go, well, actually, is there a reason why we've got this set up or is there a reason why I'm doing X, Y, Z? And I think a lot of the time, unless you stop and quite consciously evaluate the kind of set up or your dynamics, things just rumble on.

Being a parent is like being in government in that you're just firefighting from one situation to the next. And the last thing you want to do in your one hour to yourselves is have a root and branch review about the dynamics of your relationship. This is what's annoying me about the way you parent and get close to a master chef for one hour. I wouldn't lead with this is what's annoying me about the way you parent. What do you suggest then, Lou? A practical thing. Would you like a long list of all the responsibilities? No, I try to write one of the end of chapter bits. And it sent me a bit mad. No, I, like, I speak to Anna Williamson in the book

because I was like, obviously, I can tell you what I've experienced. She's a relationship expert. She's given me some brilliant advice. You don't need to get a plug in for your own show at all. And she's given a lot of practical tips on how to approach kind of difficult conversations and stuff like that. But I would just say it's never too late. Obviously, before you have a kid is brilliant.

when their babies is a great time to but at any point you can go actually is there a reason why I am doing why I'm responsible for all of these things so something I've started doing and I don't know how much you were aware of it before you read of kind of going quite

consciously not assume responsibility for things that I'm not responsible for can I go they've got a party at the weekend who's going to take them yes we've got clubs at the weekend which one of us shall take them Yeah.

Do you want to do it and I'll walk the dogs or not just go, well, it's the kids, so I'll take them to the clubs, I'll take them to the party, I'll do the... It's an ongoing thing. Because if you do try and do all of it before they're born, you don't realise the jobs that end up becoming. You know, like... So you don't want to, like, spreadsheet your life into... No. No, unless you're sort of passive-aggressive, arguments that just spring out of drunken nights. Yeah.

Anything that's popped up in the podcast that you've got a problem with, Lou, you want to have a right... Where to start? You didn't like me talking about the girl's hair? No, I'd say we've... got a fundamental difference in how often we think the girls need to be washed and like their hair washed like not just have like a bath before they go to bed like their hair has to be washed well no but you know every other day you have to wash it shampoo can I think wash it wash a couple of times a week no but he's like washing it is getting it wet in the bath I'm like no no you have to

shampoo you have to condition it otherwise it's they've got long hair it gets matted and then they complain when I brush it because it's nutty right so Lou brushes hair too harshly and I think it's because... You've just said that as a fact. Yeah. You're not even going... In my opinion. In my opinion, Lou brushes her hair to aggressively.

Aggressively? Aggressively? You've upped it once you know. She... Okay. In my opinion, Lou uses excessive force when brushing hair because she's not used to brushing the hair

of very thin blonde hair like me and the girls have got. This isn't a war trial. Excessive force? Excessive force. But when you brush their hair, you don't do right down to their scalp. You do the top layer of hair so it looks smooth. And then there's a big,

mat underneath. I'm apologising but not weaning it just moving on covering up the cracks. Well, it's not about it's not what about her

here, Rob. No, it's not. But I think, I think that the girl, Lou says you need to wash their hair because they won't do it properly.

Our oldest is 10 now, she needs to learn to do it not have her mum or dad do it. No, I've said you need to go in with weird air, that's up to work.

You need to check their hair because when they've washed it themselves I found a big patch of like shampoo in it the next day. And I go, look, you've got that in your head.

Will she? Well, not if you don't check. Yeah, no, but then let her go in with weird air. I just think you'll be a bit lazy. You'll come home and go and I need to wash this properly. I don't think she would. Fair enough. I think she'd style that out.

We have the classic final question. I'm sure you're aware of it. But we might as well, you know, go through the motions and ask it. What one thing does your partner do that makes you think they're an incredible parent? And what one thing, have you not told them that annoys you? I said this to you before that, and I've said that there's you...

Second nicest man in the world after her dad. Yeah. I just have to kill her dad then I'll be number one. Right. I don't think that would help. Might absolutely back to fifth actually. You always make so much effort for me and the girls

and you will... Whenever you go, yeah, but so and so's dad doesn't do this, I'd go, yeah, but I wouldn't have married so and so he's dad, or we still wouldn't be married, but like, genuinely, sometimes when you do a comparison across some... unnamed dads who tap themselves out of a lot.

And they kind of go, isn't Rob good? That's how much he does. I'm like, no, he's not good. He's doing what he should. But I do, I do appreciate that you do, that you come to things that a lot of people could tap out of. Yeah.

You don't just go, that's your job. You do it. That's not for me to do. It just annoys me when people go, isn't you good? Yeah, I know. They are. They are his children as well.

And he should want to watch their show too. Yeah. But, and then the thing that annoys me, is the amount of things that sometimes, on the flip side of that, the Rob kind of goes, that's not necessary, and it is necessary. It's not necessarily life and death necessary. It's not like food on the table necessary, but you do have to plan birthday parties in advance and do party bags.

And, you know, it's all the stuff that makes life nice. Read the books for guests on your podcast. When I start to get stressed, Rob goes, you're taking on too much, it's unnecessary. And I'm like, it's not. You decided to be the class rep this year when you've got a book coming out and I was away all year is fucking insanity. And it's borderline section of all behaviour.

It was getting really awkward on the WhatsApp group. For someone to moan that much about how busy they are, which is fair enough. And then take that on was fucking mental. Yeah, but it was like tumbleweed on that WhatsApp group. She'd asked like three or four times. I'm not even on the WhatsApp group. Should we just fade this out?

You know, like the end of the sopranos. Love you, Lou. Buy the book. Lessons from a default parent available now. Yeah, please, thank you. Lou Beckett. There we go. My wife. Still in love with her?

My wife. Oh, I love her so much. She made my birthday so, so special. I'm a very lucky man. You're a very lucky man, yeah. People do look at you two together and go, he's lucky. Yeah, and she tells me that. Yeah. But yeah, the commute in was quite hardcore, so I'm quite looking forward to a quiet commute home without her. Yeah, yeah, well, don't worry. Hang around. we'll just, Lou, we've just got to record the last 30 seconds, you go ahead.

Yeah, it's a long, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you go ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you get the 20 minute earlier train. Josh, I'll see you next time. See you next time. Hello, parenting hell listeners, recognize that voice? Yes, it's Josh Whitakam here. I have got a new podcast, Josh Whitakam's Museum of Pop Culture, and I'm going to say it.

I'm about 85% sure you're going to love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me, and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history economics or politics. I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics. See above.

Basically, I wanted a podcast that realised Millie Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I first. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr. Blobby. When Ghost Watch convinced BBC viewers ghosts were real, when a band burned a million pounds for a laugh. The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from You Too, and David Hasselhoff, Baywatch, and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are, by the way. Either you know what these things are and you're about to learn far more about them

than you ever realized you wanted to, or you don't, and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiff next will learn, lose next will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday. Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcast now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whitakum, available everywhere from the 1st of January.