Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S12 EP14: Seann Walsh

Episode Date: February 20, 2026

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) it's the return of comedian and friend - Seann Walsh. Since we last spoke he's had another child with partner Grace and is navigating the considerable increase in energy and bandwidth anyone with two kids (let alone close to two under two!) will understand very well!! Seann Walsh is on tour with This Is Torture, tickets are on sale now and available from https://www.seannwalsh.com. Parenting Hell is available to watch on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  (Copyright 2026) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is presented by Vauxhall. So Josh, News UK have voted the new Vauxhall Frontera as the value car of the year 2025. Rightly so. And do you know why I can say that, Rob? Why? And you know this, I've test driven one. Oh yeah, and I've been test passenger.

I got to drive the Frontera. Thoughts? A, the tech was so good, right, that it was just simple. I felt like it was my car the moment we were moving. Yeah? We had loads of bootroom, you saw that. Oh, I had a little peek in the back. back. I was thinking this is perfect for a family. It was spacious. It was easy to use.

And do you know what as well? No offence. I wasn't too near you. No, no, exactly. There's so much space in the front. I didn't feel like I was touching you. I couldn't smell you. It was great. It's available in electric. It's available in petrol hybrid. The electric is cheaper. It is available from 23,995 pounds. Ah, that sounds like value to me, Josh. That's great value. Great value. Top value. Do what I did, Rob. Test drive for the new Vauxhall Front. Today. Discover more by searching Vauxhall Frontera online. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Howell, Whitt.

Rosie, can you say Josh Whedickham? Josh Lincoln. And can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Good girl. I'll do it again. She wants to do it again? No chance.

Gone. Sent. Yeah. This is my 36-month-old Rosie saying your names. Three. Yep. I started listening only in July this year. What? Michael, get us another fucking clip from someone who cares. No, no, no. She does care.

She's not refused to listen for five years. She's just failed. You've got to understand. Sally, what is your effing problem? You've got to understand, Josh. We live in a world where not everyone knows about Josh Willowcom, okay? And they're coming to you fresh. Everyone's made the mind up good or bad. I love listening to the pod while out walking with Alice in a pram or our dog, Kevin. My partner always takes the piss out of me when he sees me listening to the pod

As it makes me laugh out loud And I just look like a weirdo chuckling to myself See the couples that I get coming to my show Why take the piss out of her, his wife enjoying herself? Yeah, with men that she's jealous Men that she finds funnier than her own husband He's just annoyed that she's got men inside her ears Making her giggle

And he don't like it, he's ego can't take it Yeah, thank you for being mint company on my walks Keep It's sexy and relatable, Sally from Manchester I've got nothing against anyone inside Lou's ears. She's also called Sally Walsh. So... Sally Walsh. It fits with today's guest.

Sean Walsh. The repeat, the second, the sequel. The sequel. He was on before? He was on before. It's third time. Wow. So he's got two kids now.

Yeah. Has he been on with her second? Can't remember. We'll find out. We'll find out. But he's got two under two, and I know how bad that is. Yeah, yeah. And he messaged me a few days ago saying,

how he's struggling. Well, that's good. That's what we want to hear. I think he's going to come in stressed and it's going to be perfect. And his tour starting soon, so he's going to be vulnerable. Yeah, yeah. So should we really twist the knife? Yeah, let's try and get him crying.

Yeah, yeah. Click it up for Insta. Yeah, yeah. And watch the clicks roll in. Yeah, but we really want to get him crying on Insta, but we're not allowed to talk about anything that's gone on. We want a new thing to get him crying about. Okay.

Let's see. I don't actually want him to cry. I feel really bad, actually. I feel awkward. It'd be horrible. What do you feel if our guest cried? I'd feel so awkward. Yeah, and I feel bad because I feel like...

Oh, God. And then what do you do? It's like Stephen Barlitt give them a tissue or something. And then I hugged them. Let's be honest today. We're sat in a small room, no disrespect to the room, in Spotify. Yeah, we want to disrespect the room. Yeah.

And like, there's someone crying there who's only here to promote a tour. And suddenly they're crying, as if that's going to sell any tickets. To a comedy show. To a comedy show. I don't see. I'm going to come and see your show. I saw you being really sad on a podcast. Yeah, let's not get him crying. No, he won't.

Let's tell that back. He's not going to cry. We'll be all right. Here he is. No, so talk us through this, because actually we spoke about the shoe trainer before, as dads. They're important.

I don't believe in the shoe trainer. But I either do, I'm the white, despite wearing the show. Yeah, so Sean's come in in the shoe trainer and then said, I can see you're looking at these. I was worried about it, and neither of us were looking at them.

I was more, certainly. You've got like a smart shirt on a jumper and a baseball cap. Is that to avoid people recognising you? I'm a big deal in West London, yeah, I have to have the cap down. No, it was raining.

So the cap, it keeps the glasses dry, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. Glasses people? Yeah, that's what, yeah, no, you're right, yeah, but that's what, I thought there must be a reason. Yeah, so you worried about the trainer show. Yeah, very much so. You look really well, though. Yeah. Do I? I think you look really, like, I thought you was going to look more,

Your hair looks good. Glasses are great and you look quite healthy and the beard's on point. Okay. I think you look good. Thank you. Obviously, the shoes are a fucking... It's going on in shoes.

Top up, head up. But I've got... It's a shame we've done this in person on Zoom. You would have... I'm not. Do you have... So this is to be more specific. It's the smart...

It's a broke, basically. I tell you why I don't have trainer shoes because I'm not a pundit on football focus. No, they're just trainers that are dark With a white soul These are brooks With a white trainer, what you call it? So they are a smart shoe

But the soul is of a walking shoe trainer Yes But this is a white sole This is a white soul Is the soul actually bouncing soft like a train Or is it just white like a trainer? No, it's a bit of bounce That's why I've got to...

Is this because you're kind of entering dad middle age? Do you reckon that That's adjacent with lower back problems. Yes. I don't think it's the dad thing. I think it's just being older and your body can't take sex. Well, I got lower back problems when I had our second baby because he wouldn't be put down. So I was constantly holding. And your arms are that week? All the pressure was on the lower back.

It wasn't just that he wouldn't get put down. He wouldn't sit down. He wouldn't even let us sit. So you're constantly stood and walking holding. I can't. Now, I have to wear like a, running trainer or something of a bit of bounce. Yes. So when I have to wear shoes for anything, like a smart gig or a corporate,

I'm a mess. Yeah, they're mad. A hard shoe sole, it's like walking on glass. Once. It's wild. You're like, why is anyone doing this?

I've actually bought, and I sent you the link. I bought a pair of loafers when I was in Japan. Because in Japan, Assics now do smart shoes, but it hasn't got like the white thing on to show you. They're all black, so it looks like smart shoes.

but with ASICs. Camouflage. Bounce. Kids used to get in trouble at school for wearing a black trainer. Like at secondary school, some kids would try and get away with the black trainer. Yes, you're right.

That was very much. It never pulled the wool over the headmaster's eyes. No, the bubble gave it away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The lights on the bottom. I got told by, what do I see? A physio, I've seen them all, but I think it was the physio that said

that what's happened is, the reason I've got a bad lower back is because I have a flat left foot, right so what's happened is my right knee you start hearing this phrase you've probably heard it used for yourselves maybe overcompensating

oh yeah for my personality I've been accused of that loads he presents confident I'm physically doing it so the right knee had to compensate for the left foot so the right knee went out but it overcompensated

and then the left side of my hip had to compensate for my right knee and that overcompensated, which is twisted my background. And the doctor, where was the doctor, the physio told me, and these were his exact words that for my entire life,

I've been facing the wrong way. I don't know how you don't know that. I've been like a kind of toy figure that's not been straighted up after you've played with it. Is that why you walk back and forth on stage so much? Yes, exactly, to try and line up. Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Yes, I've been to them all.

So that helped me because I've got a hyper mobile hip, which then makes, because it spreads out. See, which then does something else? Yeah, and then that does my lower back. And that's why I have to wear special shoes as well. When I went to a hypnotherapist. No. So I went to a hypnotherapist for insomnia. Right.

And halfway through, he stopped because an eBay auction he was doing was finishing. No. And I was like, is this part of it? Like, is this part of what's happening to it? So he stopped. One, an eBay. auction and then resumed the kind of consultation. Did it fix it? No. No, okay. So I thought of it's not working. I thought of insomnia, it's always more intriguing because

if someone says it's got a bad back, I just take it as, oh, they've got a bad back. If someone goes, I've got, how much you're sleeping? Premature ejaculation? All right, well, how quick. Yeah, I mean, there's always an extra follow-up question where you do a quick bit of comparison to diagnosis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I didn't have insomnia. I was having a breakdown. Right, okay, wasn't that? That was a symptom, not the cause. It was a symptom, yeah. And I refused to accept that both therapists and doctors were making that clear to me. So I went to a hypnotherapist to try and prove that it was just insomnia. Yes, that's it. I don't know. I don't like your diagnosis. It's dentist. I'm going to go to the dentist now.

I'm going to go to a second opinion and that's Paul McKenna. It's good to know that we're all old men in their 40s falling apart. So tell me about your children. Two kids. Here we go. So last time there was one. Yeah. Now there's two. As you both know, everyone... There's a third on the way. Oh, God, no.

Jesus wept. Be aware that if you do have a third child, they will hear that. This, like, they're... Come on, guys. Please. Three is mad, isn't it? That's insanity. Are we all staying here at two?

Oh, yeah. The only way that we go three is some sort of problem. Yeah. Like a different man getting involved. Yeah, Lou Essex with another man. Or Lou Essex. Yeah, but so the jump from, you know, this is standard now, the jump from one to two is, it's not just one to two,

it's kind of one times 80, isn't it? You're there quite, there's a, was it, two year age gap, bang on two years. Pretty much. Two under two when your baby arrived. Yeah, he's eight months, she's about to turn three. So it's a bit over. Yeah, a bit over, but. Yeah, it's a lot, it's a lot, isn't it?

I'm tired. Talk to me about your last night. Well, let me tell, last night. like taught me to me well let me just tell you what happened because you might have forgotten the levels of it of exhaustion are you still exhausted or you got through this well not since he went to the hip and chest his strike rate's phenomenal also i've got a a rave flyer that he bought for 12 pounds 50 for me that's what he was buying on ebay unbelievable an old rave flyer oh my god this is fucking lunatic yeah exactly what he was in london was this in london yeah of course it was in london

Where did you find him? Online. Yes. You googled as a hypnotist. Hypnotherapist. And how many did you scroll down? Um, well, no, I didn't bother scrolling down. Just sponsored.

Well, yeah, the sponsor. I turned up early and he said, of course you're early. Insomniacs, early because they want to be cured. Smoking, always late because they don't want to be cured. That's a good, oh, that's a good line. Yeah, good line, good line. He knows that as well. Yeah.

And you hear that and then you leave and you hear him say that to the next person and so on and you feel good because like yeah I'm one of the ones that won it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I bet he doesn't sell that, say that's the smokers. And he had like loads of lighters on his wall where people had handed in their lighters. Sorry, Josh, we've invited Sean on to talk about his children and his tour. We're now just listening to you talk about your hymn therapy. It was West London. You like West London. I do like West London.

This is the most mental power play. Sean's exhausted He's got another torch out of And you've brought him in And so am I It's our fourth interview of the day I know I can't believe you're on your fourth

I'm getting the dregs The absolute You are like both of you Low on battery No I'm full of beans No good No I am I am

I was in Kennington recently And I had no sleep Because of the kids And I have you ever been at this point I was walking down the street On the pavement And I noticed that it was clear No people

No bins no lampposts And I thought, I'm going for it. And I did it with my eyes shut. And that's where I got my nap. I was walking with my eyes closed. I'm trying to combine walking and sleeping together. Amazing. To try and make myself kind of active sleepwalk from destinations.

In answer to your question, we're not as tired as we were when they were that. When I have a bad night, when something happens, like I get back late from a tour show and then I have to get up, I go, oh, this is what it felt like. You get little flashbacks to it where you've got it every day. So what have I got to look forward to? Does it get easier? This fucking mess. Easy in the clear.

You're looking at a man on Easy Street. Don't move three hours from your studio. That's my team. That's the lesson there. Oh, God. The clouds were clear in about two years. Two years. That's what I've got looked at.

to look forward to. How is Christmas? Because Christmas is tough with kids that don't care. No, no, no, no. Wilder's about to turn three. No, no, no, no. But one young kid that doesn't care.

I don't think, our Christmas wasn't tough. I've never been a Christmas guy. No. Because, as you both know, my dad was into heroin. Yeah. But, of course, what that means is that Christmas isn't,

it's not necessarily a priority in the whole chow. Is it nice, though, for you? because in a way, as a pair of the pressures off, because you're already offering a much calmer household than what you experienced. Oh, no, because I've think... No, you're quite calm on heroin.

I'll give it an example. I don't know the high, but me and my brother were playing FIFA on the PS1. So 32-bit. Remember those graphics. And my dad, he was sat there in the living room, smoking heroin whilst we were playing this. And he thought, genuinely, hand on art,

he thought he was watching match of the day. That's how off his nutty was. He thought a 32-bit PlayStation 1 FIFA was match at a day. I thought this was match at the day. I was no wonder, I was confused because it was QPR versus QPR. It was 9-8 before half time. Nine bicycle kicks him outside the box. Impressive game.

So what's his role now? Oh my God. My dad is I love my dad and you know But he's obviously scorched his brain for God's sake He's in his 70s but you know He got he got my daughters God bless him He got his and my brain

Unfortunately you know I mean he's my dad So there are things that are being passed Down he got my daughter's name right For the first time a couple of weeks ago You know that's nearly three years in And wilder you got it Well done

And one of the I can only remember one of the guesses up until that point. I thought he was going to say when he said my dad got, I thought he was going to tell us about a Christmas present, but you said got the name. Yeah, exactly. He got a little outfit that was a bit young for it, didn't fit. No, no, we're at to name.

Exactly. I'm not even sure he knows about our son. Yeah, does he know there's two yet? I'm really not sure. One of the guesses he had for my daughter's name was we took about this. Not at all. It's all fine. And, you know, it's my life.

Yes, of course. thing, it's my normal. You know, we all know that. So, I mean, one guest for my daughter's name was Wheatovics. How's Wheatovic? Dad, that's obviously, come on, mate. Wheat is not a wheat biscuit. Heroin can't have the whole blame for that.

Exactly. You know what I mean? Even heroin's going, come on. Let me have a break. Exactly. So, yeah, there is that kind of those blotches. But what I was going to say was, it means that those kind of more traditional, what are they?

values that you get as a family. We didn't necessarily have those. So, you know, Christmas wasn't a big thing in my house. So have you been liberated by that? Or have you gone towards it now? Because you didn't have that. Are you strong on, like, Christmas? I don't know if I'm strong on it, but I've really, since having Wilder, I've only first been aware of the appreciation for it. I've only just begun to find the kind of beauty in the lights. Oxford Street. I now, I now like it. It now does symbolise something. It does symbolise family and you'll, you know, so she's turning free. She was aware of Christmas, she was aware of Santa and to watch her excited for something and getting to, I mean, you must have gone over this. You must go over this every year. But getting to

use Santa as a means to get her to behave. No, I would never do that now. Come on. No, we're against that on this. Were you? Well, it is frowned upon in the parenting. No. Have you done the thing where you're on the phone to him? No. I've got Santa's number.

Oh, absolutely right. I'm on the phone to Santa. No, no, you're not getting the else address. Cancel it. Would you do that in front of her? Absolutely. Oh, that is a bit of strong, though. But I'm not too heavy.

It's that too heavy. God, yeah, in 2020. What would she be doing at that point? Eating a second business? Or it would be like She might have tugged Mildred's hair Mildred's my dog Oh, something she knows she really shouldn't be doing

Exactly And it is quite yeah And then you want the apology Make sure you apologise to Mildred I'm not apologising to Mildred Oh and then she just needs to the apology I'd say there is an argument that you're making A child apologised to a dog

Well apparently loses me So who's the mad one there And then you're phoning Spoiler alert An invisible man Now does your partner Grace lead more of the, because I imagine she had a bit more of a traditional upbringing

with Christmas. Will she introduce stuff that you'll go, well, we don't need to do that, what's that? And then as you enjoy it with her, you go, oh, I can see why people like this at Christmas and that sort of family, any sort of family traditions because I remember when I used to put stuff out for Father Christmas on our front doorstep

because we didn't have a chimney. We lived in a terraced hour, so we used to put in the front doorstep. So then like, when I was with the glue and the kids, I was like, right, let's go and put it on the front doorstep. We put on the fucking doorstep for. Right. Because that's what you do it. Searchlight Pictures presents in the blink of an eye on Hulu on Disney Plus, a sweeping science fiction drama

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Are you as loud and frenetic at home with your children or are you a calmer presence than when you're with me and Rob? I think I'm very soft with... What's happened, I don't know if you guys had this, is Grace has kind of had to take kind of main lead with Casper, our son. And so at that point, when that happened, I then got more time...

Yeah, with Wilder. With Wilder. We'd go on... It was shredded wheat. Absolutely. We shreddies. It could do cereal for hours. Yeah. That's his ballpark.

It'll start whipping out ones you forgot about. Reicycles. Weeos will come up in a minute. Reicycles are the astronaut. Yeah, yeah. Good share. Captain Rick. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you've got more so wilder. So I think I'm probably, I don't know. They're so sweet and so cute that I'm, I'm a lot softer, I suppose. Yeah, but you are like, you're at work and you're on a podcast before. If you come in and being quiet, that is your energy on stuff. Like, I'm not constantly cracking jokes with the kids.

Well, actually, I'm quite a bit. Yeah. We go on like Daddy Day, we have Daddy Day where I take Wilder out. What do you do on a Daddy Day? Well, the last Daddy Day we went to, because she had had the Pepper Pig. She's not been to QPI yet. Because she had the Pepper Pig Goes to London book. Yeah.

And Big Ben was on that. So I thought it would be fun to. show other things in the pepper pig. Yeah, that's cool. And take her on the boat, the boat on the Thames. And you see there's a pepper pig tour bus you can do. We have afternoon tea. I mean, that sounds incredible.

Yeah, so it's like a little pepper pig theme bus and there's afternoon tea. And there's like, have you done this? Yeah, there's little video. We did it together one Christmas. And there's little videos where it tells you. You enjoy it, sure. Oh, no, that sounds right. Do you enjoy that kind of?

Do you enjoy kids entertainment stuff? That's my favorite thing in the world. Yeah. That's the stuff that you don't, before you've had kids, You don't really, you're not really aware of this world that's about to open. If you didn't have kids and you wanted to go on a tour bus to listen to a cartoon pig and eat a sandwich, you'd get a section. But that's amazing. She loves pepper figs, she'll love that.

Yeah, so I'll check that out. And so, yeah, those days and they bring out a version. What they do is they connect you with your childhood, I think. Yes. Yes. So well, and that's, it's beautiful to be kind of taken back in time. And you're going to take them to KPR? Grace wants me to take Wilder to QPR now.

I think she'd be quite scared by how I get. Yeah, but you wouldn't be the same person. But that's why I like to be that. I like to be that. You've got to learn to hide who you are for your children, Sean. That's what it is, isn't it? Yeah. That's what parenting is.

Lido! Lido! Fucking push up! We'll go and see Big Ben in a minute. Move! What I'm always shouting is, which is my sound mad. I've never heard anyone else shout this.

Why? are you walking? I hate watching football players walk. Run! We've got to throw in. Run! So if you show you up at a walk in to do a throwing, you shout while you walk in. If we're 1-0 down, yes.

Absolutely. It tries me mad. Yeah, don't take it yet. Exactly. Don't take it yet. The day after you just see Wilder running. in everywhere. Just in case daddy sees me walk.

But I have questions for you because I don't, a lot of my friends that I speak to. That's not how the podcast works. Because I need, I don't have many, I don't socialise with many friends that have children. And also having kids means I don't socialize. You guys are at work. I'm actually meeting mates.

My whole social life now is work-based. Yeah. Well, I think that what happens is, and this is probably, a kind of combination between parents, so you don't drink anymore and you're not comfortable in yourself when you're not drinking.

So how are you going to go out anyway? But that... Sorry, you have a conversation with yourself? Well, basically. Not far off. But that, I was quite lucky actually. I think I was lucky in that when I became a parent for the first time with Wilder,

that my life did, all right, okay, we're being kept up during the night and all right, you don't just kind of get to nap and turn on the telly. but it wasn't like suddenly my kind of world as I knew it had been pulled away from me I didn't go to the pub anyway I didn't see anyone

so it wasn't this total shift it was just children entered the world yeah but you'd done a self-imposed sort of less going out because most people have kids they stop going out as much and it gets a bit less crazy but you'd already done that yourself I wish I'd done it in the order you did

because I had a couple of years of overlap where I hadn't made my peace I mean doing a parent I can't imagine You know, I've not drunk. Not where I was going out all the time. But what I mean is where the thought was there, but now it's not. But you two must have, at some point, as, of course, many of the listeners, have parented hung over. Still do.

I can't. That is unfathomable. I can't imagine. That's like... How many years since you had a drink? I think six or something like that. Often people want to know why you've not. It's always...

They want to know why. And I think it's only ever two reasons. You're boring or you're too much. fun. It's basically alcohol never really agreed with me or I fucked a badger. And it's one of those two. And I'll let you guess which one I am. Yes, exactly. But yeah, so no drinking and I think I'm quite pleased about that because obviously with my dad's addiction and then cutting out alcohol, I'm hoping, we don't know. You know, the results are yet to come in, but you're hoping that you're, Julian Dean, who's been on the pod. He once said this, I'm using this from him. I loved it. It's, it's cutting that circuit.

and trying to do as much as you can to cut that circuit of the effects that having an addict parent. Yes, of course. You know. And so you've never parented hung over? Never parented hung over. Yeah. I just can't. Has grace?

Imagine that. Has great? No. Does she not drink either? Not really. Not really, yeah. She does drink, but no. Yeah, yeah.

Not really. No. I did the school run after that night at the Euros when I was down an alley. No, you didn't run. You weren't hung over. You were still drunk. That morning was the most famous I've ever been. I was stopping fucking traffic.

Because I went mentally viral, England had won, and I went on Zoe Bulls show and Chris Evans show, then did the school run still steaming. That's absolutely phenomenal. Even like the teachers are like, oh, people shouting chicken man at me out the window at the car. Shit. That's what you're known for, chicken.

That's fantastic. But yeah, no, it is awful. And I've stopped drinking. Now I would only have two or three drinks max, and then I've done just. because I like that little giddy feeling, but anything beyond that, just... I find it wild when you see parents that properly go out. All I can think is, how are you dealing with the next day?

I'm not judging them, I'm thinking I can't do that. No, absolutely. Like, I wish I could have done that. The answer is, though, isn't it? It's like, if you go from drunk to hungover to, like, and recovered to drunk again, you're never truly in yourself. That's the cycle I lived in since I've been. I was 17.

Any chance where you have to think or look internally, you can cover that up with, I'll get a pizza because I'm hung over. 100%. I'm feeling better now. Oh, I'll have a drink. And you're back in again. That's it.

I mean, and let's be honest. I think, yeah, you know me well enough for this to be known as the case. You know, life is hard enough without me being hung over. I struggle anyway. This is, I don't know if you saw my Instagram. But yesterday. He woke up.

Is this meant to be helping me, old ticket. He's come out on fire today, old Josh. Shoes off, big gulp. Off he goes. Well, I just went to the wrong venue again. Yesterday? Oh, God. For the third time?

If it's even third, it's probably fourth. Where did you go? What? Well, can I just say in my defence, so I once went to Hereford instead of Hertford. Yeah. I once went to the wrong, is it Newport? Once went to the wrong Newport. Yesterday, in my defence, it wasn't because I got the names

of the towns confused. I'd got days confused. And I thought yesterday was Tuesday. So just in case you thought I was an idiot. So you're going tonight to the place you were meant to be going last night? Yeah, the barman will recognise me. It's through there, isn't it? The comedy.

And he went, it's tomorrow, and you know, and you know immediately. And I went, yep, see you tomorrow. Just walk straight out. Just doing a recie. Everything seems to the morning. You know me, what is that to get prepared? Yeah. So what questions have you got down?

Because I'll speak to you and Grace about holidays and stuff like that. Well, sleeping. So what we do, and I don't know if this is odd. I actually said to Grace, should I keep this to myself? And she said, no, say it, they'll do it. And she thinks you might have done this. But I, Grace.

Upside down like a bat. So anyway he gets off. He swings up the hypnotist. Yeah. The Grace is in bed with Casper. Yeah. In our room. It's not been my room because I'm never there.

because I'm in Wilder's bed with Wilder. Yeah, yeah, that's basically our situation. Yeah, right. Is that, how abnormal, normal is that? I don't really know, but I like it, and that's what we do. Well, that's the thing. And it's kind of just... I tell myself stuff like, and I do believe this.

At the moment, my son's in bed with Rose. And my daughter's in bed with me on the floor next to the beds. We're all in the same room. Okay, yeah. Now, you thought you were going to be the weird one. Why are you all the... Because we've got mattresses. But you've got other bedrooms.

Yeah. Yeah. So the only place he can sleep is on the floor of his bedroom. Jesus Christ. Yeah. His dog's got a better bed than you. Yeah. Can I throw my hat in the ring here on this?

Yes, definitely. Now, so I think that when you've got a eight-month-old baby kind of thing and it's been a baby, there's that period where it needs to be with the mum if you're doing breastfeeding. Yes, it's a cot in the room or whatever. So, so. Oh, we should have... I should say, this hasn't always been the case. We've reverted back to it in the last year.

Because you've been moving house and stuff. Because we've been moving house and stuff. But I think... So basically, there's no point you come in in the middle of the night and disrupting all that. So you might as well just get in with Wilder. Yeah. That's how I think it naturally happened.

As I started going, I can't be bothered to wake up and go in there. Exactly. I might as well just stay there. Totally. Have you got... Are they going to have to share when they... Initially. Yeah, so that there'll be a point, though,

and I, where you have to... from eight months or older, whenever it is, move your son into another room. Yes. And eventually, you'll probably get back into your bed and they'll be in the room together. Then you'll have a third one. But I would say,

Josh's situation at the moment, it wasn't always the case, but it's basically descended into slight chaos. Because of circumstance. And now they can't get back into the right bedrooms because they're getting the other bedrooms done. But now the standard is... Well, my son would describe it as his room.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. But also, he's three, four? Four. But I love it. And I went... And it won't last forever. This is the thing.

So I... Or what if it does? Or what if it does? That's the worry, isn't it? What if it does? But I remember going to go and sleep in the main bed and then just having that feeling of... But she's not going to be that small forever.

I've got to use this now. I've got to use this moment now. Now, I think it's all a little bit wet. ever works for the house. And, you know, so our kids go, I bet to sleep in their room. But then the youngest one that kept going these night terrors, so she comes in quite a lot. So then what will happen is she'll come in the middle of night and either getting with us or one of us will get out and get in bed with her and do that.

So she'll go to her own bed at night. But then she wakes up in a bit scared, she'll come to us. Yes. And rather than just going, you've got to go back in your room, you've got, we just go, I'll just get in and do it that way. So everyone's got a different. But they used to go sleep in their own beds and not bother us at all night from the ages of sort of like four and six

onwards, but then all of a sudden it's shifted again, so it's constantly You never know. And also, I think people just get hung up on stuff a lot. Yeah, but I would say in your situation, it's mad to sleep on the floor when there are a number of other bedrooms. That's what I think is mad.

You don't have been done up. You're doing it all right, mate. You don't need to be on the floor. You're doing all right, you can get a spare bed, it's a lovely, let's be honest. It's a lovely squidgy mattress. No, but I would say that I think it's fine to sit back there. I think you could just be in a bed with her. Possibly. He just slept on the floor every night for months. Look what he's so tired? He's living on the floor, mate. That's why down at our hotel. I'm getting the consequences of it. I can't believe it. I can't really adapt to the hotel room

bed. It just because he's on a bed. Sorry, man, calling down a reception. Can I move the mattress on the floor? Any space in the lobby? left that and it's brought to you by Monzo. Yes, basically, we're going to discuss what age kids should be left to get on with things themselves. Monzo helps give kids a safer step into independence of money, setting goals, budgeting and spending while parents still have oversight, so that part feels covered. But what about the other stuff?

Like, can they use a toaster, for example? Or have their own phone? That's a very picky one. Now, Josh, what age are you going to let your kids go out of the house on their own to the local shop? Well, we've been discussing this, Rob. I've been talking about like she's got other friends who live nearby who walk past our house to go to school. Yeah.

And what age are we going to send them to school? I reckon at about 10, they will walk as a group to school, kind of picking up people on the way like a bus. Yeah, see, that's hard for us because they're in a village. We let the kids go to the neighbour to get parcels on their own. What about if you went to a shop and you were like, oh, there's no parking or something? Because you just go in and get, you know, a pint of milk. I'd probably the eight year old and 10 year and I'd send them in together to a garage

to buy something with cash if I'm parked outside the garage. If I'm in a restaurant, I can let them go to the toilet on their own. Yeah. Give me another one. Give me another one to test the age. Oven. I think they could do that now, my daughter, but she doesn't.

But I think she could easily. They both make me scrambled eggs. They can do that on their own. What age were you allowed to go to school? It was a driving thing, but then at 11, I got the bus. and I'd walk to the bus stop on my own. So 11.

I think that's the secondary school's the one, isn't it? Well, here's the thing on the other side. Yeah. My son, I don't want to swear on it, wiped his own bum the other day. Yeah. Because he's four. Part of him's like, well, that is good.

But how good to the job he's done? Do you know what I mean? Do your kids use toast? Do they do their own toast? Do they do their own breakfast, yeah? No, because he doesn't. Obviously. Yeah, obviously.

And I end up doing it, but they could do it? Do you know what I mean? My daughter could, she doesn't have toast, though. I've got into a pancake situation. Do yours do their own? They'll make their own breakfast, so they'll get their cereal out and milk and bowl and spoon, or they'll make their own toast and butter it. And they can make eggs if they want to make eggs.

Lou makes the pancakes, the mix, but I think we get into a point when they could make their own pancakes. I wouldn't want them using a hot pan without us downstairs. No, exactly, Rob. Toaster's all right without us. Do you know what? If you want a kid to help, my daughter's got very into, in the morning, she's done a checklist, which we go through. And it kind of empowers her to be part of it rather than me just telling her the next thing,

if you know what I mean? Yeah. And they do really want to do these things. That's the thing. We presume they're resistant. Oh, will someone do everything for me? But the truth is they enjoy the feeling grown up of it. We're the problem.

We're the problem. We do too much for them. Do you know what would really help on that, Rob? What? A Monzo card. Because that empowers them. Then they can just go out and pay for breakfast. Exactly.

They can go out and have avocado on toast. Would you let them pack the bags for the holiday, Rob? Not the whole holiday. Maybe hand luggage. Hand luggage, yeah. I think that's fair. I think that's good. But then if you'd let them, they'll just pack like 20 teddies.

Because they're not practical. They're not going to go, I do need some factor 50. Yeah. Yeah, I do need an extra swimming costume because if that one's wet, I'd want to put that one back on. There you have it. Monzo helps take care of the money stuff and we'll take care of the rest. Monzo's award-winning account for under 16s. Download your new favourite bank. For children at age 6 to 15, parents or guardian account needed first.

UK residents only, T's and C's Apply. What's your views on like kids TV and stuff? Oh, well, kids TV? So all I've got is, so Casper's just getting into, I'm back on Miss Rachel because Casper's now started with Miss Rachel. I miss Miss Rachel. It was more tumble for us. Oh, really? Oh god, saviors. These people are saviors. Yeah, yeah.

Like Casper's. You know, I just go, Miss Rachel. Put it on. Do you let him have a screen or is it just on the big telly? No, we see, this is, I'm very jealous about this. We came in slightly too late after they had kind of, after the discussion about how iPads were bad for you had come out. So we were too late.

We would, I would now, if I was giving them the iPad, be aware of the discussion that screens are bad and time should be limited. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've gutted that I miss, because there was the bit when I was, iPads were new. Parents were just slinging them at their kids. Oh, so you don't have, he doesn't have... We don't, so we don't. But the TV is doing all the... Yeah. Can I ask with that, is there ones you like and ones you don't like? Well, Bluey. We all like Bluey.

Yeah, we're up there. 15 minute episodes, you know, small shorts like crack. You start getting into them. You get that little circle at the end. You know, the corner, it says like 11 seconds left or next episode. Sat there, skip. Last week, I watched eight episodes in a row. I forgot to pick Wilder up from nursery. On your own? I'm kidding.

You can't trick him like that in his stage. I bought that. Yeah, no, so, no, Bluey, like Bluey. But we used to come home from the school run and Mr. Tumble would be on for about an hour. And I'm like, why is he still on? Well, this is the thing, isn't it? Because Generation Alpha?

Is that correct? Yeah, right. The one after the Gen Z, them. Yeah. What's that generation that all slept with their dad until they were 25? Yeah. The generation below our generation

They're Gen Z Are obsessed with generations I know It's younger old guys It's just young and old I'm just not interested People are so interested in generations I'm not interested in what

There's young The difference in gen We're old but we're old Yeah we're middle age Yeah but we're not like What's my mum and dad Oh They're boomers on me

But we can't be in the same group as them Have you seen what I've They're old. We're middle aged. There are old, we're middle aged. There was no generations when we were kids. I'm so happy you've said this. I absolutely agree. Gen Z, millennial.

Okay, boomer. No, okay, old person. Yes. All right. Yeah. Do you know what? I think you've dragged me in. Yeah, thank you very much.

So young, we're going children, young people, middle aged, old. Then what? Dead. Yeah, but what's that one? You know that about. Generation dead. And there's Gen Z or whatever they're called. The younger generation, they'll tell you, tell you.

what all the different generations are like and then they'll end by blaming you for the fact that they can't afford a house. I didn't make this decision. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is awful for you and I agree but there was no decision within our generation where we went, should we fuck over the next generation?

I'm sorry, it can't be my fault, people can't afford a house. I know, but also... Can't it? What have I done? No, I feel like... I started with fuck all. And also, I have to say, these are the things you read... I think there's a difference between

what do you read about and what you see like out there in the world you go to High Street on Friday night I mean everyone looks like they're having a great time

there are people in their 20s outside Weathers go out of their house they're having a wonderful time yeah yeah so we all turn into Clarkson yes

but what I was going to say is that so these kids children they're brought up with on-demand television YouTube and this is not what we had

so they have everything instantly just at their hands, whereas we had a window of three to five to watch children's break in. It's 3 p.m to 5 p.m. And basically, if you miss that, you're watching panorama with your dad.

There's nothing. Heartbeat. Yeah, heartbeat, exactly. But you think that was more shared viewing. Because I was thinking this the other day, my kids were watching TV, and I was trying not to look at my phone, and I was thinking, Josh, I've bought, sorry to stop cut you off there. I've bought

to try and combat phone addiction. I've bought, there's an app called Opal, right? About 80 quid. That app stops you from using your phone. I bought a lockbox, which you put your phone in when you get home. And I bought a thing called brick. I've got brick. I still use brick. I've got three. I've spent over 200

quid. On bricks. Trying to combat. You've almost got wall. I've got devices to stop me from using devices. I've lost I've lost it. And what's your screen time? It'll just be what? It'll just be, it won't have changed because I won't put my phone in the box. What do you look at? The box is mental. I just scroll. I don't look at it.

Doom scroll. Just dooms scroll. My phone addiction is so bad. I was staying at a hotel and I went to charge my phone and there was no plug socket next to the bed. You know that? I had to sleep on the desk. Another joke, Josh. I don't know, yeah. I don't know. Is it really? What? Bloody old. Is this shaw all right? Can we get a drum? I'm only in the drum. There we get. That's right. It's not real. But yeah, no, it is bad. Hence all of these devices. So you're trying to watch a children's program and not look at your phone. This is how obsesses of his screen time. If he's driving someone, because it comes up in your... sat-nave, you know the sat-nove goes on your car, he's turning his satna off. Yeah, the Apple Carve thing.

Yeah, but he's turning his sat-naff off for the last 10 miles because he knows the route to make sure his screen time. To save screen time. Because it's-so-you. It's so you. That is so you. That's so unfair. That is so young.

That's hilarious. So, Brick, right? It gets rid of all your time-wasting apps. Are you using brick? Yeah, I am using brick. But this is how I ended up... Do you know what brick is? You know what's got the exact same screen time, so I don't know what he's using it for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is what happens. I've got rid of all the time wasting apps, so I've only got like calls and Uber and stuff on it. Okay. And so then I find myself sitting, waiting for a train or whatever. And I'm like, I wonder who I've called recently.

And I'm just reading the boring apps now. Yes, right. I wonder what cities have got Uber. Why don't I search? But I remember when you used to go for a shit, I'd read the back of shampoo bottles. Yeah, yeah, of course. Something.

Something. Something. My phone died from Leeds. died at the beginning of the train journey and I thought I can't do this train journey just with my mind So what did you do? Do you get off? No, I went down, I went down the carriage

to ask if I could borrow someone's charger Like a crackhead Yeah, basically like, excuse me ladies and gentlemen summits above you in I can see you're all just trying to enjoy your journey I don't need the charger for the entire trip About 40% will do That's how bad

Could I just remember that one of your daddy days out When you're a kid? So you're on tour, Sean? I have on tour. Tell me about your tour. It's called This is Torture. I'll go for the date. Is it spelt tour as in torture?

No. Should I have done that? No. No, thank you. I don't think it's a good idea. It's called This is Torture and yeah. It's spring tour, very much looking forward to it. I mean, it's more...

Best time to go on tour. Spring? Well, yeah, because as it moves on, it gets brighter and lighter and warmer. Yes. Oh, do you know what, though? I quite like the autumn tour because then has it...

I'm just trying to get a bit of positivity I'm saying I'm positive about autumn! Oh, just join. You don't have to just be so edgy all the time and you can just join in. Yeah, all right, pro autumn. Here we go. All right, here he is, yeah.

I like it when the Christmas decks go up and you're touring around and you're looking at the programme, seeing who's in the Panto, and there's that excitement of the autumn tour. You're looking at the programme to see he's doing Pantor because you've used brick on your phone

so you're having to pick up the leaflet. on the phone. But yeah, it's called this is torture and it's basically, I mean, you know, it's kind of, I suppose it's, as with all of us, is that it's more of the same. You know, you get to use, we get to use, what's quite nice is most people go to therapy and they pay their therapist to listen to them. But I, I've worked so that people pay to listen to me, talk about my problems. So is there a theme to this or is just all the funniest stand-up you've got in the last year or so? Yeah, I mean, there's not a theme and I've not even tried to kind of contrive one. But I think there are, there is a, kind of crossroads where you are at 40 and you do have two kids and so your life has changed probably more than it ever has done since you began to stand it's the busiest your life will ever be in this moment and it's the most

it's the most it's going to I think anyway we'll see but it's like the most it's going to change it's the most it's going to transform so you're coming at life I think from a slight I'm making it sound much more profound than it but you are coming at life

from an angle that you wouldn't have been coming at it from. So I talk about like the concept of knowing who you are. You know, you have kids. You've got to have some, now you've got to have some sort of concrete idea of who you are. And what your morals and what's your idea of that thing? Because your kids are going to come and ask. Absolutely. And so it's talking about kind of grasping that. Exactly who is it, I am. And then of course who you are, most of the time depends on what mood you're in. And is it true that you end by at the end going, and I am sure more. Yes. Who I am.

That's who I am. No, it's actually, wrong, you're close. It's I am human. I don't know. I don't know. I think you've always been an incredible stand-up, but like you was almost a little bit sort of not old enough when you were brilliant when you're younger,

but like you'd moan about things and be angry and passionate about stuff that was a bit more like Tweed, like, you know when you're getting a round of Yeager bombs and there'd be 40 people in the audience going, yeah, it's funny, but I'm not actually bothered about that. But now you're talking about real life things that really do matter to people.

Yeah, well, when I was doing all that stuff, you don't really realise when you're, at the time, you think you've got an hour of stand-up, and I was naive, I didn't realise that if you spoke about alcohol and your drinking habit for an hour in one show, then you might get a reputation for someone that just spoke about alcohol, who knew. And I honestly just hadn't thought about the kind of consequences.

But precisely, that is how I lived my life. And that is how a lot of people, that's how my friends lived, they're like. So, you know, now that I'm 40 and two kids and I don't drink, I won't be talking about that. But I was slightly pretentious, probably, but I always end up being pretentious when talking about... Oh, come on, let's do it.

I like to talk about... I think I even kind of alluded to it earlier is there will be comedians that talk about the world you read and there are comedians that talk about the world you see. Yes. And I just much prefer to talk about the world in front of me, the world that I see, the world that we experience. I find that, that to me is where the funny is.

That's what makes me laugh. That is so spot on and I didn't realise I felt like that until you said it. So well-dow me. There you go. That was the best thing that's happened on this episode. No thanks to you. You gave a bit of space and he fucking drilled it top corner. My, my, my, my grace, my missus.

My grace, my dear Grace. Shit, I'd tell you, I'd say, oh, fuck it hell. You need her, don't you? Absolutely. But I have to, because on my, I often, as you know, I have a podcast called Oh, my dog. I was about to ask for the other podcast promo. Oh my dog? Oh my dog.

And Class Clown, which you recently came on, and it was fantastic. Grace is always having to correct me for things I've said on Own My Dog. So she wanted me to actually just quickly mention, if I can, I know we're short on time. No, it's fine, we're not short on time. Well, the birth, I mentioned, the last time I was here, I mentioned the breached birth, but it was an emergency breach birth. Yeah. And we didn't have that with Casper. And so what happened was, I don't think we were kind of entirely, or certainly I wasn't, entirely aware of.

of the dangers of the emergency breach birth when it was happening. And actually wild as oxygen was cut off. Oh God. Jesus fucking work. And all the red levers were pulled. And in my kind of naivety and probably in the kind of adrenaline of the birth anyway. I, and thank God, either was grace totally. But we weren't aware of what.

We weren't really aware of the seriousness of what happened. And then when we had Casper and it was an entirely smooth birth, It was only then that I realised how kind of horrific that first birth was and I'm just so blessed that it happened that way round because I was completely oblivious to how horrific and scary that actually was this terrible moment was happening in front of me but luckily I had absolutely no idea

to the most me thing and I told you I passed out didn't I the first time round but there was none of that well he says the reason why he passed out was horrendous and stuff Right, I've got your tour dates here. Okay, here we go. So we've got the Barry St. Edmund's apex. Oh, the apex. Do the cities, I'll name the venues.

Yeah, okay, here we go. Have you heard of Leeds? The city varieties. Musical. Hartford. Beam. Correct. Chorley.

Little theatre. Correct. Basingstoke. Anvil? Haymarket. No. Don't look at me. Maidstone.

Haslet. Correct. A miracle if I go to the work. Cambridge. Junction. Junction? Yep. Stanford. Corn Exchange. Correct. Sheffield.

Classic. I love the Stanford Corn Exchange. Sheffield. Oh, Cursable? Steamworks. Tornton. Brewhouse? Correct. Swansea. You'll never know. I don't know.

Talyas it's a cent. What the fuck's that? I've got no idea. Good luck getting there. Yeah. South End. Cliffs. Palace.

Winchester. Don't know. Never been there. Theatre Royal. Yeah. Brighton. Corn Exchange. Correct.

Oh, that is nice. Lyceum. Yeah. Coventry. It's not Coventry. Warwick, Larkas. Yeah, yeah. Fokston. Quarter House. Yeah, quarterhouse. Lime Regis. No idea.

Marine Theatre. Fucking nightmare getting out of that. Oh, God. An hour of country lanes. Okay. Swindon. Wyvern. Yep, Exeter. Northcut.

Yeah, Bristol. Vic. Redgrave. Hull. Truck. Yeah. God, it's like doing you bet. Liverpool.

I don't know. Epstein Theatre. That's got me renamed it. Oh, no. What is that? I thought Colston. Hall was bad. Salford.

Lowry. Northampton. Correct. Derngate. Yeah. Correct. London. Hack the Empire.

Correct. Yes. Well done. That's a great talk. You'll smash it. Oh, yeah. It's great fun. Thank you.

That takes you through to October. Hang on. No. There's, yeah. There's a spring tour and then the London ones in October and we'll see we'll probably put in more dates

before that and all of that That's all before June, lovely. Stuff, thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Sean Walsh. Love a bit of Sean Walsh. Love a bit of Sean Walsh.

One of the best stand-ups in the country I'm going to go and see me in Fokston are you? My parents always go and see him. They live down there so I'm going to try and get to that one. Good. Go ahead and see Sean Walsh.

This is torture across the UK now. See you next week, Josh. Bye. How many listeners, recognize that voice? Yes, it's Josh Widdickham here. I have got a new podcast, Josh Whittickham's Museum of Pop Culture,

and I'm going to say it. I'm about 85% sure you're going to love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me, and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob,

you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things, like history, economics or politics. I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics. See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that realized Millie Vanilli

were more interesting than Elizabeth I first. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr. Blobby. When Ghost Watch convinced BBC viewers, ghosts were real. When a band burned a million pounds for a laugh. The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic, Spider-Man musical with music from you too and David Hasselhoff Baywatch and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are real, by the way. Either you know what these things are

and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realized you wanted to, or you don't, and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiffnecks will learn, lose next will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday. Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on. You might as well Listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts now. Museum of Pop Culture with me Josh Whitakum, available everywhere from the 1st of January.