Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S12 EP34: Josh gets bullied by Romesh

Episode Date: May 1, 2026

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... in this episode we go through some of your listener emails and messages. And there's some discussion on who would be the weirdest and most likely new partners for Rob and Josh if Lou and Rose evr left them. HUBSPOT: One platform. Full customer context. Real growth. ⁠⁠⁠Parenting Hell⁠⁠⁠ is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amazon presents Laura versus Fruitflies. Swarming your fruit and terrorizing your kitchen, these little freaks multiply at a rate that would make a rabbit say yo. Chill. But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. This episode is brought to you by Pizza Express.

Now serving up AfterSchool Club, a selection of Pizza Express favourites for just £5 each. Available 3 to 5 Monday to Friday. It's a tasty way to reclaim those family moments that's kind on the wallet too. Oh, Rob, also, you get the after-school meltdowns, don't you? They do. They're hungry, they're tired,

one wants to sit in the front, one wants to choose the music. Or, oh, you've brought the wrong snack, or you get home and they want to watch different things on TV. Josh, when the kids come out of school, and like they just throw their bags at you, say I'm hungry, arguing of each other about who sits wearing the car. Oh my word.

It's full of. Couldn't agree more, Rob. And do you know what? When you find yourself in that situation, in my experience, there's no 330 meltdown that can't be calmed with a five pound serving of doughballs. For more info about what's included and how to redeem, visit pizzerexpress.com terms apply.

Hello, you're listening to Parentin Hell with... There we go. Very jolly. Very jolly. How are you sexy and relatable dudes? This is my wife practicing your intro with our 21-month-old daughter, Saffron. Standard bath, I'm recording. You're like, you're laying down there?

I was laying down. We're both speech therapists. I've been practicing this with her since she started talking. As I'm also a Josh, this caused some confusion, as you have been referred to as Daddy Whitiggen. I'm on one or two occasions. Not sure that you want that to stick. Buy his wife for the child.

I don't know, actually. I don't know. Looking forward to seeing you both in Brighton this year. Thanks for all the laughs. During our commutes and network, Safi, 27 months. Hy-an 469 months. And Josh...

Hyan? H-Y-A-N. H-Y-N. H-Y-A-N. H-Y-A-N. H-A-N. I think this must. be just a generic footer to his emails.

He's got his email address. No, sorry, he's got his phone number at the bottom. Who, Josh or Hyen? Josh. Josh. Josh Josh. Josh. It's a name. There's a wrestler called Hyen and a footballer called Hyen.

Well, I can phone him up and ask where Hyann comes from. But I think it'd be quite weird. Call him now. Shall I? Just like, hi, mate. Love the little voice note. You're on the podcast. How do you pronounce high end and where's it from?

Lovely name. Okay. You sure? Yeah, if you're just telling him what you do. Okay. Then you'll have my number. Do one for one before it. I'm not going to do one for one.

You've got to show some trust in people. Error. You have high in staring for your window. He's not in, Rob. Is it a landline? No. Oh, that's a shame, isn't it? See, if we'll leave it, it might rig back.

It's not got a voice memo. It's not got a voice. Now, please leave me a message, and I'll get straight back. Thank you. Hi, Josh. It's Josh Whitacom from Josh Whitakum. I'm Rob Beckett. You left your phone number at the bottom of the email.

And so I thought I'd use it on the podcast, because we couldn't pronounce the name of your part. there. Is it high on? If you can get back to us, that'd be ideal. Cheers, mate. Have a good Monday. There you go. That's nice. It's not, yeah?

I'm going to have to deal with that when this pod's finished. You'll have a little chat with your new mate Josh. Hi, Josh, it's Josh. I'm not here. Just see, no, Josh. I can't face picking up if you call me back and it's not during the pod. Why have you said that out loud? Just let that happen.

That don't make him feel bad. No, that's no offence on him. But he can face picking up to me. No, no, because he, no, that's not true. He wasn't aware that you'd called. You've made the first move and now you're worried about the comeback. You could have left that unsaid.

I could have left that unsaid, yeah. But then we wouldn't have a podcast, would we? Exactly. And we left that unsaid. That's a good name for podcast. I left all of this, yeah. I got obsessed with a TikToker on a podcast. Oh, you know?

Yeah, go on. Well, this lady, on TikTok basically was being really open about the fact she caught her husband cheating and then they broke up and for like last three or four weeks she's been talking about being single and I mean it's really quite heartbreaking really because they've got kids and like she's going to have to move on with her life and then anyway she recorded a podcast in this period talking about breaking up with him and then she got back together with him oh no and then was like on holiday with him on TikTok and then this podcast has come out from four weeks ago.

Oh no. And I'm just like, this is madness. They can't release that. It's out. I know. But say we were the people whose podcasts she'd gone on and they got back together, I don't think we'd have released it. We'd say, look, do you want us to release this or not?

Because it's a bit unfair if you're starting again in the relationship, but they just went for it. And what was the podcast? I don't think she's at Bob. She doesn't mind it being out. Well, no, she said everything on TikTok, I suppose, hasn't she? No, no. bit, it's just mad, isn't it?

Imagine that? That's a really difficult back pedal, isn't it? And the base of the podcast, I can't remember what's he going to do. He's not going to kick off. He's not going to, he's cheated on her. She's got the moral high ground forever. Well, I think the podcast is about two women that got divorced and now that I should name check it.

I can't remember what it's called. I can't find it. I just followed the clips on TikTok. And they obviously have had marriage breakdowns and they're starting again. That's what the podcast is about, right? So they've got her on to talk about it. But then they said something in it because they were talking about men.

I was like, maybe all men, you know, if men are just, I just think all men are awful, but he's like, if men were in a room, are there no men out there, basically? They didn't say all men are awful? That's unfair. I'm not saying they said, but they were saying,

are there any men out there that can be in a room full of beautiful women and won't do anything about it? And I was like, yeah, there are loads. It's not that, oh, I've just got a text. Oh? No. From a woman? No, it's not from that guy.

Who's it from? You're hiding text messages from me. You've got your little legs up like Joe Wiley, giving it the big one. So what are you meant to do? When you get married, is there a theory that the way to maintain faithfulness is just to never be in a room with an attractive woman? So it's worked well for me. Before I be Graham Norton, can I check who's on?

If me and Lou broke up, right, Josh, and I remarried or had a new girlfriend or whatever. a partner, it'd be partner, kind of a girlfriend, but you're 40. What do you think would be the least likely option and the most obvious option? Okay, that's a good question. Same for me, please.

Yeah, okay, I love a little thing. Well, the least likely option, well, obviously, when you said the least likely option, you're not going to be married to Camilla Parker Bowles, but that's presumably... No, but I mean, like, something that's sort of in the realms. In the celeb world, the least likely option would be, the person you wouldn't go out with would be someone like

Victoria Corrin Mitchell. No, I would, she's funny, and I'd get on with her in a, because she's quite acerbic and shock. This isn't, it's not necessarily that you wouldn't get on with these people, but just. Oh, no, no, for me it would be a, it would more likely be, I think, someone that really takes acting and theatrical stuff seriously. Yeah. And I couldn't suffer that.

A novelist. Mate, yeah, or, yeah, no, I think that, because actually that's, I think actors are really, into it and have to have like a week off work after a park because it was too demanding. Tom Hiddleston. Does that what he has to do after thought? No, but he's very, he's a serious. Yeah, I'm not going to marry. For me, I think the most likely would be a 50-year-old woman that, yeah, I think you'd go

older because it would be safer. I don't think you could have a younger woman that you want to like be crazy. I think you'd want a safe pair of hands to nurse you into your, you know, inevitable death. So I think you'd probably go for like a few. embraced 40, haven't you? I think you'll go for some sort of 50-year-old journalist lady. This is me? This is you, not me.

I thought you meant you? What? I'm not going to go older? No, I'll just get one of the slightly older love islanders for a bit. No, I think you'll go for some sort of 50-year-old broadcaster lady that does semi-serious political, like stuff. No, no, no, no. I think you would.

I think that's what you'd like. I think I know who you'd end up with. Is that? Sally Lindsay. Sally Lindsay. You know Sally Lindsay when you see Sally Lindsay. She's an actress. She's Corrie.

She's on ITV things. Sally Lindsay. Sally Lindsay, I don't Sally. Yeah, I do know Sally Lindsay. Yeah, but she's like a personality. Yeah, but she's happily married. I'm 52. Yeah, she's a fun.

She's an ITV kind of. She'll watch, I'm a celebrity with you. Don't pitch it old me. Like we're trying to get a sitcom up and running. What, you're telling me? This is my future wife and life. I think, I think you're so. I do like Sam Lindsay.

Yeah. Have you ever met her? No, I don't think I have. It's going to be weird what I do now. And when I meet a boring journalist at the Guardian. You're, you know, but yeah, you'd, I think that's where you'd go. But I think it'll be very unlikely for you to start going out of a streamer. But it's going to loads of events.

and everything's been streamed. I think you'd find that you'd get all flappy hands and stuff like that. Would you, what do you think would ruin the podcast more? Okay. If I started dating

a 23-year-old smoking hot streamer. I'd, I'd think I'd be hilarious. There's a balance, isn't there? Like, for the good of the... I was having to appear in her TikToks and stuff like that.

Because there's a balance. For what sells as a podcast, is there's something interesting to watch. One, you've got really like the people and go, I really relate to them and connect with them. People would stop liking me at that point. Yeah, but it'd be so intriguing. People would listen,

and I don't like Josh as much anymore because he's gone a bit off the rails. That makeover, it's wild. The makeover he's got where he's shaved his head and he's tan. Yeah, he's got a fake tan and he's got little blonde bits dyed into his hair. Yeah. But I think people would watch that,

knowing that there's going to be a breakdown. It does make your skin crawl that people have that kind of breakdown. Joshua's smoking hot streamer. Do you think that would be more damaging to our podcast than if I started going out with Kemi Badenock, the leader of the Conservative Party? If you married Kemi Badenok, the leader of the Conservative Party, I do think that would put a real slant on the pod.

One of the very left field. And also, you would really be really. skilled, if anything. You wouldn't be able to talk about it as well because it'd be like, oh, sorry, now, I can't talk about that. It's classified. And I'll, oh, yeah, we get it, Josh. And you'll have to start anecdotes.

So, anyway, me and Kemi were going for a run through Battersea Park and we're all like, fuck it now, what? And I'd be like, does Kemi know that she's just being propped up for a next year or so until they get rid of her to get a bit of momentum for the next push for a general election? You should wear it? No, what are you saying about my one true love? I think that Kevin Badenock may not be the person that's in charge of the Conservatives for the general election

That's all I'm saying She'll be in charge of the country, mate And she's in charge of me In charge of you in the bedroom Yeah, she's in charge of When we were back at the Tory party conference We couldn't keep our eyes off each other You sat in the backing little tweed suit

Yeah Fighting for farmers' rights What was I doing at the weekend? Just door knocking, mate, for a by-election, yeah Just having a little drive past what's it called? Oh, fuck it.

What's the countryside place in the prime minister uses? Oh, checkers. Just have a little drive past checkers checking out my new my new guest next year. Oh God. That would have been great podcasting

if I can remember the word. Yeah. But it wasn't. It was average podcasted. But we saved it. Anyway. None of that's going to happen. Imagine if I went on Love Island,

that would be good PR, wouldn't it? So I worked with someone who'd been on Love Island recently who was that i've actually worked with two of them i worked with danny dyer younger and then i worked with amber who did love island and strictly they both sort of moved on from the love island scene though they're not really influencers anymore they both made a proper career out of it they're not seen as love islanders are they no she's and also danny dyer's married a premier league footballer so it does really take the pressure off you know and she's got kids she's not really doing the

influence the thing she's so what if i married like beth mead or Jill Scott or like... Jill Scott, I mean, you and Jill Scott hand in hand at the NTAs. Dill Boy and Rodney going down the fucking carpet. Lift him up, Jill.

Jill, we can't see him. You're going, but my eyes can see the camera. Yeah, but you're in and behind her handbag. She's six foot two, Josh. Did you know, little facts about me? Hi, Josh, welcome to red carpet. Any facts about you? I have to take all my travel.

That reminds me actually. I was in the car on Saturday with my daughter and her friend. We're going to a birthday party. Yeah. And I had the radio on it. It was Ramesh. Oh, yeah. I was like, it's quite impressive, actually, because I was like, oh, yeah, I did Taskmaster

with Ramesh, blah, blah, blah. Do you know what I mean? Just, you know. Sorry, no, so you're in the car with your daughter and a friend. Romish is on the radio And did they say Daddy or Josh... They were talking about Taskmaster

lineups Right And did they say actually One of the people on my line up was Ramesh But they're asking you about doing Taskmaster Yeah Right you didn't introduce that to the chat No we were talking about the TV shows we watched

Right And they brought up Taskmaster Yeah Okay Taskmaster's good for kids You know but I'm just seeing From this point of view you're a dad trying to connect with his daughter

by telling them about you being on the telly. It's, the optics could be switched, but at the moment, I'm back on side. Yeah, fine. Yeah.

Because in my head, you're driving through the countryside, right? And you've got two kids in the back rolling their eyes as you tell them about the TV shows you've been on. No, no.

But they brought it up. That's fair enough. They're talking about sewing B, gladiators, the usual, right? Yes. I was like, oh, yeah,

I actually was on with Ramesh, who's on the radio right now. Yeah. Within a minute, he had gone into doing one of his funny impressions of me. It was absolutely, like the one you just did. Like the one you just did. Absolutely destroying me. Oh, that's just radical. Yeah.

Absolutely. Why was he doing that? Who was he talking to? Because he got some text in someone who said something nerdy. So he was like, oh, it sounds like something Josh Wittickham would say. Oh, that's horrible, isn't it? It's bullying, Rob. It is, isn't it?

Because I thought your name would have been brought up, but he's basically gone, I need to do an impression of a pathetic little nerd dwee shit on my shoe and he chose you exactly it's horrible what he did as always the man's the biggest bullying comedy you know it I know it the way he treats you on that show off camera it's disgusting isn't it it's awful that's good though that's quite impressive was it was your daughter's friend impressed no because it was a really disparaging impression that made me oh it looks oh

so now he's bullying you in front of of your children. Exactly. I don't think you are that nerdy. You've just got all the attributes. Exactly, but actually I'm... Pretty edgy. Pretty cool.

Got my feet up on the chair. Yeah, you're pretty chill down. Is Joe Wiley a nerd? You're not that nerd. Do you know what? You're not actually that nerdy, but you just... I don't know. You get really excited about that nerd being nerdy anyways,

bollocks, because it's basically being enthusiastic about a subject that isn't traditionally cool. Yeah. So doing a four-episode podcast on Mr. Blobby... But it turns out... David Gandhi's... not doing that with Rita Orra. And they're like cool dudes, aren't they?

Is Rita Orra cool? Not to me. No. But to the world that is. But so it doesn't matter what I think. What about if I started going out with Rita Orora? Um, I'd probably be sending you some private messages for questions. What if I started dating Beyonce?

Do you think the podcast would carry on? I think she'd pop you in her cleavage or walk around and we could just put a lapel mark you and it'll be fine. I suppose this is the thing Travis Kelston's brother dealt with when Travis Kelst started going out with Taylor Swift. Are you suggesting you might go for a divorce to remarry for your career? No, I don't think Travis Kelston divorced. If you, if you wanted a real career increase, marry Kim Kardashian.

Yeah. Because she probably wants a safe pair of hands after Kanye. I'm a lot safer pair of hands. Yeah. Aren't you? I'd say I'm pretty, um, yes. You're rock-stodded. Pretty solid and dependable.

You know, you know, if you're going out with Josh Whitaker, you know what's happening? It'd be a nightmare and keep you up with the Kardashians. Do you want some correspondence? Yeah. I've listened to the podcast for years, but this is the first time I felt compelled to send an email. Not sure what it says about me, but yes, you can wash a puffer jacket. Oh, here we go. You just need to put it in the dryer on a low heat with a few pairs of balled-up socks to redistribute the feathers.

What? What? Oh, so they'll hit. it as they're going around the dryer. So wash it and then put it in with a few pairs of balled up socks to hit it in the dryer. So wash it about. I've never felt more boring or middle age from Francis, 41 year old.

It's also not a free. Don't hate it, Francis, don't hate it. Free children under 10. Here we go. Parenting, free children. I don't think three children under 10, I think up to five is when you can stop doing that. Three children under 10 is just three children. Yeah, I've got three children under five, spicy.

Oh, that's a lot to deal with. But generally if you've got three children, I'd say most people have them in a 10-year age gap. Yeah, I've got children. Yeah. Can we get more parenting wanker stories in, please? We love that. Yeah, yeah. Right, what do you want here, Josh?

Seeing people on holiday, simple things you don't understand, panicking in paradise. First week of uni fails. Go on, first week of uni fail. Oh, we've got loads of playground shaggers getting ready for the big spesh. University fails. Here we go. First week of uni fails. In my first year at uni, a flatmate of mine dated a girl named Abby

who got salmonella in one of the stupidest ways possible. Oh my word. Bizarrely, she began by cutting up the raw chicken on a run-of-the-mill plate instead of the conventional chopping board. You may be able to see where this is going. She'd then cook the chicken, cutting it open to check it was cooked throughout, only to then dump the fully cooked chicken back on the plate where she'd originally cut it up.

Oh, the classic. The classic. I hope neither of you had to sleep on a children's bedroom floor last night, Amber. Where did you sleep last night? A grown-ups bedroom floor. A grown-up's bedroom floor. But you can do that guilt-free now because there's no rooms from to go in because they're getting the rooms done. Really?

When we're in halls, we got we got ants because our kitchen was so awful. Yeah. Every week the cleaners would come around to your house in halls. But if it was too much of a mess, you'd get a sign. on the door giving you a warning that you've got 48 hours to clean your house before the cleaners come. I do think that, because they do offer that uni, but I do think the cleaners at uni halls don't really do it properly.

I think they're just to check that it's not being fucked up. Yeah, like I don't feel like they're, like even when it's tidy and available to clean, I think their art's not in it going, they're students and they'll ruin it. Right. What other emails we got? Here we go. House party stories. Hi, guys.

recent listener, after having my daughter 10 months ago, a teenage house party story you told triggered my memory to a time that still haunts me today. Yeah. My parents took a trip to Spain and with my exams coming up, I was trusted to dog and house sit at 16 years old in exchange for a festival ticket. Oh, my word. God, that seems a lot. Revision wasn't on the top of my mind,

and as soon as their flights were booked, I sent out the invites for a house party. Yes, here we go. The night was going great. when I noticed a strange object being passed around in the conservatory. It's a ball. I'd had a few Bacardi breezes at this point and didn't care to investigate. Later on, I noticed my husky was licking this object,

so I grabbed it, and to my horror, it was a very large, rampant rabbit dildo. Oh, no. Oh, no. Someone had been in what they thought was my bedroom. Through some drawers, however, after some inquiries, I discovered it had been taken from my parents' room. Sorry. There's no way that you go, I think this is a 16-year-old's bedroom

and it's a parents' double bed with parents' decor. Well, it depends if they're rich. They might be rich. They might have had it done up like a grown-ups room now she's 16. Yeah, maybe, maybe. Also, I can't believe she didn't know

what the strange object was, even though she'd had two Bacardi breezes, didn't know it was a fucking deal-dough of it. The next day, I clean the house from top to bottom to ensure my parents would never know the house party occurred. Me and my friends decided to keep the rabbit and put it back in the original finding place to ensure the secret would remain.

I cleaned it with baby wipes. Oh my God. And to this day, I've never had any interest in a rampant rabbit for myself. Still, ever so slightly traumatised, Rachel. That's awful, isn't it? So is she completely cold turkey on dildos or just rabbits? No, she's got the cold turkey.

The gobbler. The gobbler. Simple things you don't understand. Hello Slags. Was just listening to the Back to Parenting episode where Josh mentioned he doesn't understand how a plane flies. Stand by it. One thing I have always struggled to understand is when you are on a fast moving vehicle,

for example, a train or a plane. Why you don't feel like you're moving? No. Why if you jump, don't go backwards? Good point, but no. If you're on a fast moving vehicle, e.g. a train or plane, and there is a fly bus in about, if we are moving at 100 miles an hour, for example, how is that fly not also having to fly at 100 miles an hour?

That's similar to what I'm similar to what I was saying about jumping up. Why don't you go backwards? Yeah. Yeah. Because it's the same in a car, right? in a car you don't feel like you're traveling at set you're not being forced in your seat at 70 miles an hour it must be something to do with the air locking by having the roof on right it's surely gravity in it it's not gravity

this has got me something to be gravity in it what do you mean this one keeps you down the fly going at 100 miles an hour is not gravity well Caitlin says again I get it when they are just sitting on the surface of a train. The fly this is. But when they are up and about, how are they not just being to the back of the train? I know there'll be a simple scientific explanation. It's an interior...

Wind resistance. No, it's not wind resistance. There's an internal atmosphere to the train. It's not the same as outside. You just tell you yourself this because you have to get it so much. Next time you're on a train, throw a ball in the air

and see whether it just comes straight down into your hand or see whether it flies over your shoulder. Well, it won't, will it? It will just come down. Try it at an apple so you don't look mental. Yeah, yeah. And it's... Just now and put down on a pogo stick on a train

and see whether the train moves under you. No, because if you... Yeah, because if the fly was on the wing mirror of a car, or a train, the trains have wing mirrors? No, they don't need them, no. They're not coming out. But it's still handy to look down there, wouldn't it? What behind you?

Yeah, just what's happening down there? But when people are getting on off. Anyway, if the fly was on that. They might have a wing mirror, actually, when people are getting on. And it flew up in the air, it would just fly, it wouldn't, it wouldn't be able to go the same speed. The question is if you're on the roof of a train. Yeah. Um

Does that happen? Yeah The fly would go backwards If you're on the What happens if you're on an open top bus So if you're on the top of an open top of a open top one Or if you're in a Like a saloon car

Whatever they're called A sports car like an open top car What's the score there Can someone write in and explain it to it? Because sometimes when you jolt back on some forwards You get thrown about on the train Don't you? So it's not like you're not moving at all

yeah Michael How's he gonna know don't drag him into this 3am and fucking bonged

session we're in I'll have to find out we'll go we need a new show like how to you know the one with death

yeah how do they do that I've got another one here from Bowie simple things you don't understand mirrors

how the How fuck do they know where everything is? I don't understand mirrors. How do they work? Makes me feel sick. Yeah. Also, when you get a mirror reflecting a mirror, that freaks me right out. Is that what you got in your bedroom?

No. We've just got beds on the floor. Why don't it feel like you're moving one on a train or plane? Do you want to know? The answer? Yeah. You don't feel motion. Oh.

You don't feel motion. You just feel changes in motion. No. So that's why you feel if there's a bump or whatever, you feel acceleration and you feel deceleration or telling you're a building. But if you're at a constant pace, you don't feel it. So when a train leaves a station. Same reason.

Here's a bigger example. The earth is always moving. A thousand miles per hour rotation and 67,000 miles per hour around the sun, but we don't feel it because it's consistent. Bullocks, that's not right. You'd know that. You'd notice that. That's what speed we're moving at.

No, but we'd know if it was going that fast, wouldn't we? No. It's too quick. No. So if a fly's flying on a train and the train leaves a station, will the fly jolt back a little bit at the start and then rebalance? Yeah, presumably. But then the train's already moving on a world that's already moving.

Yeah, but all the stuff within, I don't know. Right. Do you want to love an email? Yeah. Panicking in Paradise? Yeah. Hi, Rob and Josh. I've been listening to The Star and absolutely love the podcast. Just listen to the New Year one where Rob described crying on holiday and you ask people to write in if they'd done similar. In 2024, we took our then six-year-old twins to Turkey during the school summer holidays.

Three weeks before departure, my husband tore his Achilles tendon and had to wear a space boot and use crutches, meaning no driving for the whole summer holidays. The hospital offered to write my letter so we could cancel the holiday and claim on the insurance, but he decided we should go as the kids were excited. Obviously, it was difficult for him as it was really hot and he couldn't go into the water, but I also found it tough, being solely responsible for two six-year-olds. It was birthday when we were there, and I took the opportunity whilst the kids were having a break from the pool to swim directly out to sea.

I then clung to a boy for 15 minutes and sobbed uncontrollably. As in a floating water boy, my child. Oh, God, Joe in Suffolk, I'm so sorry for you. That's a great example, though. Whilst occasionally giving thumbs up to passing jet skiers to show I wasn't actually in distress. Oh, my God. Bleak times made worse by the guilt of being privileged enough to be able to go on holiday. all cry.

Oh, God. As an aside, on the way out, we almost missed our flight. A security thought the hand pump thing used to infate the inner liner of the space boot was a grenade. It wasn't. Thanks for the laughs and sharing the bleaker moments so we all know we aren't alone. Oh, Joe in Suffolk. Oh, Joe. Oh, 15 minute cry on a boy.

But there's an argument that if you do become emotional and stuff like that, it means you're actually connecting with the world and how you feel. where that is actually a positive thing as opposed to just plowing on. You've got to experience them. Otherwise, you'll bury them down and that is worse. This episode is brought to you by HubSpot.

Now, you know that moment when a kid casually drops in, they've got a massive project due tomorrow. No warning, no context, just a hope, a prayer and a long night ahead. That's what most businesses settle for with AI, zero context, leaving you to fill in the gaps. But with HubSpot, your AI has the context on every customer.

So you don't have to guess you know. Plus, agents help keep your business moving automatically, freeing you up for more pressing jobs. Like last minute dash to the craft suppliers. Learn more at HubSpot.com. Do you want a hamster in the freezer story? Not really, but go on. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael.

Just wanted to get in touch to make Josh feel a bit better about having a hamster in the freezer. My daughter's pet hamster died when we were on holiday and my lovely neighbour was coming in to feed him and our cat. She thought he looked a bit odd in the morning and sent me a picture of him sleeping in a toilet roll tube. I did say to my husband, he never sleeps there. My friend messaged me later that evening saying how funny he looked,

and I then asked if she thought he might be dead. 20 minutes later, she called to say she couldn't stop thinking about it and went round to our house to find he was still in the same toilet roll tube and was in fact dead. Oh, God. We weren't sure what to do, as we thought my daughter would be very upset and might want to bury her pet and give him a send-off.

As we were not due home for a few days and it was the height of summer, we decided it would be best if she wrapped him up. We decided it would best to wrap him up in a few freezer bags and pop him in the freezer. My daughter was upset at first but seemed to be over it by the time he got back. She never asked to bury him or even asked what happened to him. The thought of telling her he was in the freezer didn't seem like it was going to help matters, so I left it for a week and then made a mental. note to remember to bury him myself

if she didn't say anything else about it. Well, weeks turned into mumps and every time I went to the freezer, I would get a sudden shock as I saw he was still there. In my defence, our freezer was in the basement, and I didn't visit that often. It was a whole year later. Oh my God.

When I felt finally so guilty, I opened the freezer that he went to the top of my to-do list and was buried by me with some flowers. I panicked. I was not sure of what the hamster burial protocol. was. My daughter had never asked what happened to her hamster,

and luckily her lollies were in a different drawer to the freezer, so she never found out my secret. Lauren in Sheffield, the woman that kept a hamster in a freezer for an entire year. Oh, God. It's bleak, isn't it? Yeah. Would you take being cryogenically frozen?

Personally, wouldn't need it, but we're happy to do that for society if I'm needed. Okay. You know, just like if times are tough and people a bit down, unfreeze me. I come out, Professor Bubbles, do a few shows, do a few podcasts, keep the nation going, then put me back in the freezer. Perfect.

Absolutely perfect. That's my kind of approach. A bit like the spice skills when there's a national event. Yeah, yeah, of course. Get them out for the Olympics. Would you be frozen? No, I can't be bothered. I don't really want to be in the future.

I quite like the now. I'll take now, rather than waking up in 500 years and everyone's... Yeah, but wouldn't it be exciting to wake up in 500 years just to see it? Yes, it would. yes, or terrifying. Yeah, it would be a bit unsettling. Everyone you've ever known, dead, and not even any like ancestors.

Like, it'd be so far removed 500 years. Would you take living forever if I offered it to you now? Yeah, because you could always kill yourself. When you're like 600 years in, and you go, do you know what? I don't know. I've gone through another fucking generation of friends. They've all died.

This is mental. You're going to have to make some new friends. But they're 20. and I'm 200. What are you going to chat about? If I live for, no, let's go back, right, because that's bleak. Live forever. What age am I and does my body change?

Or do I just keep getting older and older and more? Can I do my life? You live forever as a 50-year-old man. Yeah, I think I'd probably take that. Would you? Yeah. Can I be 40? Yep, you can be 40.

So you're a 14 old man. So you're frozen now in age. I think the first bit's the difficult bit. The first bit is the difficult bit, which is... All the people currently dying. Yeah, watching your kids accelerate past you. If you're right forever then, you'll just constantly be looking after, like,

what you do is that your grandkids will just basically become your kids. And then their kids will become your kids. You're just chopping it out your kids and grandkids. We're actually like great, great, great, great grandkids. Oh, God, it'd be weird, wouldn't it? Anyway, it's not an awkward. Do you think?

Do you know what, Dave said that I probably won't do it? Yeah, you're right, actually. So insightful sometimes this podcast. It would be weird if you lived forever. God, be bloody bonkers, wouldn't it? Imagine that? No, yell. It would be weird.

Any other thoughts on the world you want to share? Click that up, Michael. Yeah, pop it on. That would spark a debate online. Opinions like that. God, why you always got to be so like arguing? and bringing in mad angles. Right, parenting fail.

Podcasting fail. Hello, you sexy, relatable, guys. I want to share with you my biggest parenting fail to date. Alarms haven't existed in our house for many years as our daughter always wakes up at the crack of dawn. However, one morning this week, she overslept, which meant in turn I overslept. So, as I'm rushing around like a headless chicken trying to get everything ready, I leave our nine-year-old to get herself dressed and teeth brushed. Our school run is about an hour round trip.

So we're racing towards the bus stop. We see the bus passing us. Great. Not a big problem. I'll be a little late for work, but it just means I have to travel another 10 minutes or so to take her straight to the school. As we pull up in the car park,

our daughter leans over to grab her bag. I gasp. Darling, did you forget to put pants on today? The poor thing had forgotten in the rush and had popped on her skirt with no knickers. Oh my God. I immediately panicked. If I do the hour round trip back,

I'm obviously going to be very late for works as school. So I did the only thing I could. No, I didn't give her your knickers. That's mental. I pulled out the car park, drove down a country lane, took off my trousers and gave my pants to my nine-year-old. That is mental.

That's weird. It's a parenting foul. I essentially sent our child. I sent our child. child to school in a thong. That is mental. Also, now, thongs. Thongs.

Let's talk thongs. They can't be comfortable. They can't be comfortable, can they? Why isn't doing that to yourself? Why, especially in a rush, put a pair of comfy pants on. Yeah. Obviously, I get it if you're wearing an outfit where you don't want a pant line, if you're wearing like something that's tight or a dress.

Maybe it's hot in the summer. It's nice to thong. day-to-day thong wearer. I don't think it is nice if it's hot in the summer. Can I come, ladies, can you, um, or men? Yeah. Can you let us know thong or no thong and reasons why?

Because I can't see any way why thong is winning over normal pants. I want someone to say, I'm where, I'm a middle-aged thong wearer. Yeah. It's not even a young, and I think they're the most comfortable. Even for young women, it can't be comfy, can't? Are they the, is anyone wearing them because they're the most comfortable? Or is it a kind of, this is a bit racy kind of. Makes you feel, yeah.

Or it makes you feel, or maybe just feels good, your little last cheek straight on your jeans. Who knows? Who knows? Michael, do you wear a thong? No, we know what he wears. Really expensive pants. He doesn't got children.

Flying solo as a kid, Josh. Yeah. When my husband was six, he was put on a plane to Jamaica by his mom along of his two siblings. He's six. His dad was waiting. for him in Jamaica, where they were to spend the entire summer holiday while his mom worked at home.

There are about 10 other kids in the same boat on the flight. I don't think he can use the term in the same boat. It's too confusing. Really? In the same boat on the plane. What? Anyway, there are 10 other kids in the same position. Unfortunately, unbelievably, the plane was running low on fuel.

So I had to make an emergency stopover. Oh, my God. For three days. What? That is insane. To refueling the Bahamas. There's worst places. How close is the Bahamas to Jamaica?

I'm not O'Fay with that area, but it feels like you're close enough to just... Within three days pop over to pick up your children? Jamaica to Bahamas. I don't know. It's definitely a boat or a plane. It's a five-hour flight. Fuck off.

Where's Biamas Bajamas? Where's the Bahamas? They're just the other side of Cuba. He reckons an hour and a half flight. If the money's tight, he's got to pay for... No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying the plane company. They only need a tiny bit more fuel.

Well, anyway, they're in Bahamas for three days. That's bad. As if this wasn't terrified enough for any period, in 1990 with no mobile phones, or it would seem common sense, B.A. failed to let either mom or dad know what had happened. What? The plane simply didn't turn up,

and for the entire time, my mother-in-law was frantic, called him BA to ask where her kids were. That is inside. They needn't have worried. My husband and his siblings, along with the ten. They needed to worry, yeah, they did. That's unfair to say they needn't have worried. Well, they did need.

They should have worried and they did worry, and that's the right thing to worry. We're really ripping apart the English in this, sir. Yeah. We've already had in the same boat on the flight. My husband and his siblings, along with the ten other kids, were put up in a suite of a five-star hotel

with only one show. chaperone to take care of them. Oh my God, what a job. They didn't have any clothes other than those on their backs and have fond memories of dashing into the clear blue sea with their trousers rolled to their knees. Wow. The thing is, I mean, like, they were going to Jamaica anyway, so it's not like they're getting anything there they wouldn't get. Yeah, exactly. Couldn't believe we got the opportunity to go to the beach ahead of my summer in Jamaica. Who sending their kids in trousers to Jamaica for the summer? Surely shorts all the way, isn't it?

Wow, I don't know. The cold flight. True. Cynic that I am, I always thought that this Hollywood story had been exaggerated or confused in my husband's young mind. But recently, he bumped into someone at a friend's house who had been in the same gang of kids and confirmed the whole story. Wow.

Love the pod to listen for about three years whilst doing the washing for my four kids that are 2, 5, 11, 20. Oh my God. Oh, my word. That's Emily 521 months, Royston. Right, let's do a small business shout out and then everyone can get on with their days. This is me getting on with my day, Josh.

I may, but the listeners, there'll be some people. Okay, and I've got stuff to do here. Got stuff to do here. Here we go. Hi, Rob and Josh. I'd absolutely love to nominate my best friend Jodie's wonderful business milkley Can you hear that drilling?

No, I can't. Is that in your house? Can you hear it, Michael? Were you ever been a house without building work? I said we'd be finished at half 11. I thought they'd come and check. Milkley Club is based in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire

and is a monthly letterbox-friendly subscription designed to a support, uplift and truly celebrate breastfeeding mums. H-milk-L-L-Y. I'm struggling to read that. Milkley, mail deliveries packed with carefully chosen treats, words of encouragement, a little boost of self-care, all designed specifically for mums navigating the emotional and often overwhelming breastfeeding journey. It's one of those ideas where you can just

feel how much love has gone into every detail. Born out of nap times, night feed and sheer determination, milkily is her heart-filled passion project and I couldn't be proud of what Jody is built. She's created something that feels a gap, offers real support and makes Mons feels less alone at vulnerable times. If you're able to give Milkley a shout out, it'll be honestly mean the world. You can find her at milkley club.com at Milkley Club on Instagram. Thank you so, so much. That's from Sophie. Yes, anyone out there breastfeeding and finding it difficult, make sure you reach out to people like this. And also, if you do want to stop breastfeeding, you are allowed it's your body. Have a bit of formula. Let's not stress ourselves to death.

Hi, Rob and Josh. After you both had great experiences with podiatrists for your various foot problems last year. I would love it if you would give my small business a shout out. I set my own podiatry business called the Highland Foot Clinic in Inverness in 2024. I'll be there in May and offer a range of foot and ankle services for people in the Highlands. Anything from Corns, looking at you, Rob. Are you looking at you, Josh? Foreign objects, looking at you, Rob, to 3D printed insoles. I don't know how 3D printers work and sports injuries. Nothing fazes me. I've literally seen it all. My website is www. W. Highlandfootclinic.com.com.

Patients can book a blind. Don't have any kids. Just love the pod and hear for the bans. Big love. Amy. A pod diet podcast where they talk about feet. Podiatist. Do you know people go like, oh God, I don't want to go to the podiatrist because my foot's really gammy and disgusting.

I bet they love it seeing a proper like mangy. Yeah, yeah. They live for that. That's what they want. They don't want just a fucking corn or a bit of glass of your foot. I know. My perfect little foot. My perfect little tuts.

You're little trotters. Josh, see you next week. See next week. It'll be a joy.