Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S12 EP47: The Juggle Is Real

Episode Date: June 15, 2026

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... in this episode Josh is feeling a bit under the weather. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Parenting Hell���⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Now, we've got a bit of an ongoing loose neck v stiff neck debate on this podcast, haven't we, Rob? Yes. I mean, for the newer listeners, the loose neck, stiff neck, I'm more of a loose neck quite relaxed, carefree, quite loud in your face, where the stiff neck's a little bit more, you know, a little bit more rigid. Buttoned up, a bit more worried. You know, a bit more contained, you know, and then that does filter into food, doesn't it, Josh?

I worry about ultra-processed food, Rob. Yes. That's what I worry about. I'm thinking if I don't have some blueberries with my breakfast, my body's going to pack up before dinner. Do you know what I mean? Loose neck, Legendeer can just smash three espressoes in the morning and love his life.

Whereas I am like, if I have caffeine, I'm going to have a come down at about 11 a.m. So I have to have a decaf tea with my breakfast. And that's simply how it works, Rob. That is how our lives differ. That is why the world works. That is why this podcast works. Yes.

That's the good thing about Little, Rob. In case you didn't know, stiffnecks and loose necks and everyone in between can get the stuff you love there. Oh yeah. And what would that be for you then, Josh? Maybe some oat milk with no sugar Rob, perhaps even some veggie bits from the deluxe range if I'm feeling fancy, mate. Meanwhile, I'm going straight for the Lurpack, rustic baguettes and a load of fromage fray and fruit for the kids. Everything we need at a great price. Little more to value. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with... Good morning, 3B. Good morning, Miss Howard.

Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Whittickham? Josh Whitaker. Great job. Thank you. I don't know how I feel about that, Rob. Do you know what I struggle with, and this feels really bad? That sort of loud, confident, enthusiastic teacher energy takes me back to school.

And I didn't like school. Yeah, of course, of course. Even though that was for us and she sounded lovely, the kids sounded lovely, me as an eight-year-old sat there, went, why don't you all just fuck off? Which isn't a great response. For someone who's done a lot of therapy, you do need to do more. I think you always need to do more and keep on top of it. But what I would say is at least I'm aware of why I feel like that and I don't act on it

as opposed to going on a 10-minute run about why I'm annoyed about something else. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I know that you said to that guy at the gym, what's this really about? Yeah. I sort of feel like I most of the time know what it's really about, but it doesn't stop the emotion coming up because it's just a part of who I am.

Yes, of course. You know, so as long as you're aware of it and you catch it, that's just as important as not doing it. Because I think I'll always feel like saying fuck off to anyone in authority. Does that come up a lot with your kids schooling? Because you're exposed to teachers or school a lot by being a dad. Well, I cry a lot when I see something that's quite sweet in a school, when I'm in any sort of assembly or performance space, I will cry three or four times. But a lot of it's relief that the kids really enjoy going to school and they have a positive experience.

So it's a relief and a joy as opposed to sort of any anger. But when I hear teachery voices, it does make me get a bit tense until I realize, oh, actually, this person's really lovely. and some people hear that teachery voice and get transported back to an amazing memory of school with a teacher they really liked. So it's me that's a problem, not the school of the teachers. Yes, interesting. Interesting, Rob.

Sure you? Yeah, but a lot of the time my brain just goes, why don't you all just fuck off? And I go, come on, Rob, let's have a little relax, doing a bit of breathing. Yeah, hi, happy Monday. Now I feel bad for this poor teacher. Josh Rob and Michael, that's all right.

I haven't been able to get my moody teen to record an intro, but thought you might like this one for my whole year three class, 29, 7 or 8-year-olds, from Herewood Primary School in Laughton. In Essex. In Essex. It would make our week if you featured us. Stay Sex and Relatable, aka.

Rachel, aka Mrs. Burrows. Mrs. Barrows. You're right, Josh. I'm well, aren't you? I can sense it. I'm really unwell. I'm not very well. And you text before we started.

Yeah, yeah. Let's not pretend that you can send him on way. Yeah, I just want everyone that listen thinks I'm this savant, but actually you just said I feel a bit ill. Can we just, you know, do it earlier today? Yeah, yeah. But he ended up being later because of my fault. It did end up being later, let's be honest.

My fault. I've had a bit of a nightmare morning, drop the kids at school, and because lose away. So basically, I'm nicking your catchphrase for Rose. That's the second yawn in four minutes. I'm unwell. I've been asleep for the last hour. Like, I just need to go back to bed.

woke up. I'm walking like this moment. Do you know Mrs. Overall? You said I'm unwell like Alan Partridge. I'm unwhirling. Yeah. Do you know Mrs. Overall from Acorn Antiques, Rob? No, what's A-Corn Antiques?

It's Victoria Wood. Yeah, I remember the dinner lady stuff of Victoria Wood, but not Acon Antiques. But Mrs. Overall was a character that Julie Walters would play, who was kind of hunched and she'd kind of shuffle. Oh, yeah, I know it, yeah. And that's how I'm walking between rooms, yeah. What's wrong? If I'm the doctor, you've come in.

I'm saying I'm wasting your time because I'm just under the weather. Welcome, Mr. Whitaker. Take a seat. What can I help you with? I just don't feel great. So I'm going to go back to bed, Doc. Cool. Okay.

Thanks for coming. I feel achy and tired. I think I'm just doing it under the weather. Just a bit over. Well, I think you get like, you've had a very busy period. You had half term. And now it's sort of like you're actually resting because you're not. This is your lull.

You've got no last leg. No tour, no strictly until the autumn. Exactly. What's, like, what, what have you actually got going on? Not that sounded agi. I didn't mean. I'm doing a pilot with you next week. Right.

Yeah, good. Yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah, I know that one. That's one day, in it. That'd be fun, though. That's one day.

That'll be fun. I'm doing podcasts. What podcast? This one and the, your pop-coch one. But they're more or less not too bad. Mm. And then I'm doing few gigs. Why are you doing gigs?

A certain thing called money. A little thing I like to call greenbacks, Rob. A little greenbacks of cheddar, some Benjamin's. Yeah. That's why I'm doing those gigs. So do come and see me. Are these summer festivaly gigs? They're often run by your friend of mine, Will Briggs.

You know those kind of gigs. Yeah, tent in a park. Tent in a park. But lovely tent in a park. Yeah. So I'm doing them. And then what else am I doing? You need to relax.

I'm doing a little thing for you. You and Ramesh, aren't I? I've got a couple of corporates. So it's actually quite chill. This is your body relaxing, Josh, and it's allowing itself to feel tired. Just feel be tired, Josh. Yeah, I've just not very, I've just not got very much.

Do you know what I mean? Did you take the kids to school this morning? Yeah. Nice. Picking up later? Yeah, I suppose I will. Literally not much in the diary at all. Lovely.

What's a fully charged Josh Willickham look like once he gets over this under the weather period? I want to get on a. my hobbies. Come on then. Give me your hobbies. Do you know what? I'm doing lots of photography at the moment, Rob.

Are you? Yeah. I'm enjoying taking photographs. I've bought a camera and I like running and photography. But never at the same time. Well, no, you wouldn't get a good focus. Yeah, but in both ways. Both would suffer.

Exactly. So I'd happily just do those two things the rest of my life, to be honest. And is Rose around a lot? Is she working a lot at the moment, or she, what's so? I mean, she's around but working. Yeah. So it's all very sedate. We're currently planning summer holidays.

That's a big thing. Like what to do with them over the, like, what's the plan? We're off and on away. Often on away? What's often on away? Away for certain weeks. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah.

So we've got three different ways. Yeah. One abroad, two in the UK. And then in between a couple of weeks of classes for them. Like, you know, clubs. Yeah. because they get bored after all. You don't want them to feel like there's no

just sitting around as well because I used to like just sitting around the house and pottering in the garden when I was a kid in the summer do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, definitely. Too much like it's back to back to back. How do you approach it? Same. We've got like a week of a club thing that they do

where you drop them off like nine till well like four and then that's when I'm trying to consolidate my work stuff in. Yeah. To sort of that week, like anything that could be moved into that week. So you're doing kind of two months work in a week. Yeah, yeah. And I'll probably be really chilled at pick up at four from the kids from the thing.

And so we've got that. Then we've got a weekend away in the UK in summer holidays. And we are, we're going to a little road trip to Germany for five days. Nice. And I think we might go to Greece for a week at some point, but we're not, we're not sorted that out. But we want to be at home in the UK. It's difficult, isn't it? Because suddenly you go, oh, right, this thing's coming up that I need to deal.

with, do you know what I mean? What, with what? Well, just with like, oh yeah, I've got to think about how we're doing childcare for those six weeks. Yeah, so basically it's like, Lou's got work to do. So basically the plan is I'm going to try and get all my little odds and sods in that week that they're doing clubs. Yeah.

And then the rest of the five weeks, I'm sort of going to be mainly parent because Lou's got work over the summer. Yeah. So, because we aren't having it in a bit of a shift point actually, me and Lou. Now the tour's finished. and I wasn't been filming as much and lose 40 in June and a lot of her mates are 40 around the same time.

So from a combination of work, she was at Hay Festival and she went to France for her friend's birthday and then my birthday present to her was a trip to Nashville. She's currently in Nashville with her friends and away for four nights in Nashville. So I'm working in the day but doing all the parenting.

So I'm not away gigging in the evening but what I'm having to do is everything, that normally takes place between the hours of like from 8.30 when I drop them off till like 4 o'clock, 4.30. But then stuff gets dropped in this presentation thing I had to go to for my eldest daughter at the school for some sort of science thing. I had to be there at half two. Exactly. Oh yeah, yeah. So then that eats into your day. I had an away cricket pictures last week. Yes, I went to the cricket picture away last week. Oh, I had that. No, did you? No, I had that. No, that's what I did that.

we both did that so what's happening I had a Thursday afternoon I was mainly working yeah and then my daughter was like we've got an away cricket fixture can you come that's exactly what happened to me

is it yeah I was supposed to working but then it didn't come it wasn't what happening and then you're like well I suppose I can push the work so that's fine yeah so I went to the cricket

sorry we were doing the same anecdote at the same time I think this has ever happened before I thought actually you said that I was like, how the fuck did he know I want to watch her? I've not told him. And you know what?

Neither of us should have told the other because it's not, it's barely an anecdote. What is it? Because it, you know, my daughter batted. Did your daughter bat? Yeah, a bit, yeah. Yeah, your own stuff, mate. My daughter bowled.

Did your daughter bowl? Yeah. And I'm going to say it. Yeah. Seven and eight. She's eight, but obviously some of her friends are seven. Yeah. I was surprised that they've started doing overarm already.

Yeah. Are they on hardball or softball? I don't know it was too far away. Well, were they wearing pads? No, no, they must be a softball. Too far. Oh, one of them got knocked out, but... Yeah.

But that's because I'd said, getting a couple of bounces early doors to let them know you're there. Do you know what I mean? I was like... The bowling's wild at young cricket. It's like... Well, I can't bowl.

And I'm 42. I'm 43. Yeah, she said to me, can you teach me how to bowl? I mean, no, I can't, actually. No, I can't. I think it's so difficult. It's really, really difficult to get bowling right.

So I watched my daughter, and there was like varying degrees of quality of bowling, obviously, and then batting. And then this one girl went wide about two or three times, but she could throw it so fast. I was like, I really hope she doesn't get it down the middle because if she does, she's going to take some of his head off. Yeah, but so I went to an away fixture to watch that, but I was the only... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Me and Lou were the only parents that went, so that felt quite good. Because we're like, yeah. Did that feel good? It felt good, actually. I felt like I'm better, actually. Well, I always feel in that situation, I hope there's some other parents. Otherwise, you know, otherwise I could have probably,

this isn't as important as my daughter was making out when she announced it at 747 this morning. Yeah, but we miss so much. So if there's anything like this presentation thing on the Thursday, I probably could have not gone, but I was like, Oh, I go to, yeah, yeah. So you've got to show up, especially because I've missed quite a few bits of things. I was like, I can't miss this.

I've got a music concert next week, and then I am missing Sports Day, which is the first time I've ever missed Sports Day. I missed the last two years. This year, it's been in my diary for a whole year and say cannot be moved. And that's the only way to do it. I hadn't been announced, and I'm actually doing that pilot with you, Rob, which I feel I cannot move because a lot of people. There's a lot of people involved, isn't it? Oh, I feel bad. Don't, no, no, don't.

My daughter knows about the pilot. I actually... She knows about the pilot but not the sports day. She doesn't know in clashes. Right. It's her own fault because I said to her, here's a video of the foreign version of this show. Is there a video of this show that we're doing?

Yeah, there's a video of the foreign version. I just saw your name and the fee. Oh, right. Is there a fee? I ain't going anywhere all day if there's no money involved. Yeah. And so I showed her a video and she said, yeah, you should definitely do that. So I'm doing it, so it's her own fault.

No, it sounds like a fun idea. Yeah, the great production company. You're involved. Someone else is involved who I really like. There's a fee. Yeah, there is a fee. As most jobs have, and that's not me being greedy.

That's quite exciting. I hadn't even thought about the fee. Oh, don't you sit there trying to be all missed. I know I'm like the bloody money hungry, like a slizzard. Oh, I didn't even know as a fee. I just thought it's a great opportunity for me and Rob to, like, collaborate. That's great because that obviously that will help the charity that I'll be giving it to. Oh, leave it out, mate.

Come on. So yeah, I'm looking forward to summer. I'm looking forward to summer. I'm going to Kinky Boots. Kinky Boots? The theatre show? Yeah, Jojo's in it. So we're going on a strictly outing to see Kinkie.

Oh, Johanna. So, right, do I have to call him Jojo? Does everyone call him Joe Joe? I thought he named him was Johannes. I met him. He called me and he said Johannes. Yeah, I don't know, really, yeah. I don't know.

So you're going to watch Jojo and Kinky Boots with Emma? Yeah, well, I am, yeah. I'm going to watch Paneth. The Musical. With them as well? No, with my children. Hang on, hang on, can I just say something here? I've worked with you for six years.

Yeah. On this, and we've worked together for 10 years before that. Yeah. The last time we had a day out was we accidentally bumped into each other at Wimbledon because we didn't know we were going at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, another bat and ball sport that we were both attending at the same time about realizing. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, that's how it was. Are you going to this here? I know it's a racket anyway for the little twats listening that's going to tell me off. The whole thing's a bloody racket. Are you going this year? Yeah, I am actually. I'm actually going with Darcy Bustle and Anton DeBec. Oh, yeah, good.

Well, I'll see you there. Darcy Bustle's not on it anymore, is you? No. No, it's Shirley Bales. No, I'm not going on. It's too busy. So basically, because it's Lou's birthday. So she's got away, so I'm doing more parenting now, which is what I wanted, which is great.

So it's actually... Careful what you wish for. Well, agreed because the early mornings are absolutely killing me. And also, Lou, Lou left instructions for me. about what was happening over these three days. Like I was California man, crossed of an alien, that arrived that morning. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I was put in charge of her children. And I was like, at one point, she tried to talk me through the washing machine. I was like, I know how the washing machine works. Yeah. Sure, you are in charge of more of that than me. And we do have a cleaner that does some of the washing as well. I was about to say that, yeah.

Yeah. We have a cleaner that comes a couple of times a week that cleans and then does some washing. Okay. Yeah. So I'm not doing a lot of washing. However, I have a lot of washing. I have used a washing machine before. I'm sure I've had to cope for four days.

Yeah. Eco. Eco, 15 minutes, bish-bash, well. And then you put, you get one of these sachets, and you put that in the washing machine, then you open this drawer and put comfort in it. I was like, what do you think I am? What kind of moron do you think I am

that's just basically just strolling around the world talking into microphones and no idea how to live? Anyway, so she's away. So I've got the kids, and I'm up at half-six, and it's brutal. It's so weird that I just, when I'm asleep, I'm fully asleep, right? It's really hard to wake me up.

So when our kids come in a night, or if they're coming in the night, Lou will wake up before and then give, sometimes gives me slight digs going, oh, I got up again with them. I'm like, wake me and I'll go, but it takes you so long to wake up that by the time she's woke me up,

she could just be in the bed with them or putting them back to bed or whatever. Anyway, so my daughter came in the other night and I was so confused in my head, because my daughter, had a sleep over the weekend before and then obviously my daughter had the sleepover thing

that she was worried about it's like in my head I sort of dreaming I'd like I think it was like oh you're in charge of all the children alone and in my head I was like someone else had said oh do a sleepover

and I said let's do sleepovers when my man dad are here you know because in case someone needs to go home or whatever someone can do the drive and then in my head I was like were they had a sleepover so that in the night when my daughter woke me up

I could just sort of this like shape of like a child and I was going, oh my God. No, you're not allowed in here. Oh my God. Oh my God. At my own child. She was like, whoa. And I was like, who are you?

And then the kids this morning keep going to me, who are you? Who are you? She was like, it's me. It's your daughter. This episode is brought to you by HubSpot. Now, you know that moment when a kid casually drops in. They've got a massive project. tomorrow. No warning, no context, just a hope, a prayer and a long night ahead. That's what most

businesses settle for with AI, zero context, leaving you to fill in the gaps. But with HubSpot, your AI has the context on every customer, so you don't have to guess you know. Plus, agents help keep your business moving automatically, freeing you up for more pressing jobs, like last minute dash to the craft suppliers. Learn more at HubSpot.com. Yeah, so that getting up early kills me. So what I've been doing is getting all their stuff ready. What time are you going to bed? So probably about 10 or 11.

I've been leaving my phone downstairs. Oh, you've done your work phone, normal phone? I haven't got a work phone normal phone, by the way, yet. But I've been leaving my phone downstairs at night. And then I, in bed, what I do then is... Shag. Watch a documentary on an iPad. And then I'm sort of full of sleep because the iPad sort of rest of.

on my, like, on a pillow on my... Dick. Chest. Sorry. Stop it. And I fall asleep and I go, oh, you go to sleep now that you fold up the iPad. I'm just trying to be so nice. So you're being so rude retort.

Sorry, I'm in court. Sorry, too many crude retorts. Yeah, so I'll get up there. I get the iPad out and just won't my dick till smoke comes off it and roll over and just fucking snore. There's your crude retort. If you could lose my bits, Michael, so that it would be stink of character. Anyway, so, um, well, I can't remember.

what I was talking about. So how's that been going, phone downstairs? Good, very good. But I've been getting all of their stuff ready the night before because I've accepted I've got nothing in the morning. Yeah. It takes me so long to wake up and so I'm just getting it all packed the night before. I'd quite like this as an email in, right?

What is your distance? I want the shortest distance that people leave. So we have a lot, your distance, often we get up before a lot. because the kids will wake up. Yeah. How long are you leaving in the morning? To get ready to leave? To get ready with your kids.

So I don't want anyone who's like, I haven't got kids. I'm in and out in 15 minutes. All right. So longest and shortest. So what's up between wake up to departure? Yeah. So between wake up and departure, we're looking at, I'd say, an hour and 15 minutes. Yeah.

So that's... But that is a very chill... That's exactly what we're leaving. and I think we could do it quicker. Yep. We do have a buffer in that, which is unlike me. Well, you know, we could definitely... I think I'm up at 645 and we leave the house at 8.

It's a question for Michael. How long would he leave? We could definitely do it quicker, but that is a nice calm get ready in the morning where everyone eats and just get... I have a shower and... Michael, how long would you need to leave if you're getting up? If you're leaving at 8, what time you're setting your alarm? I mean, terrifyingly close to 8 in most cases.

I effectively have a uniform now, so probably 8.45. I don't have to worry about, I don't have hair, so I don't have to worry about that. 45, 45 minutes? No, 7.45, yeah, we go back in time. Yeah, 745, I'd say. 745. If I was in a hotel room and I was leaving at 8 a.m., yeah, I would probably get up at 7.40. Would you? I'm leaving an hour still.

Oh, my God. No wonder you're exhausted and tired. I know, I know, who am I? Do you know what? I've really woken up, though. That extra hour's sleep I had because you had to relocate this podcast, I feel much better now. Do you know what I am too? I'm your cowpole.

You are my cowpile. You're having 7.5 milliliters of me injected into the back of your gob. Let me suck you down. Take this fucking paracetamol. Yeah. You bitch. Give me a little, what are they called syringe. Ringe.

My little syringe. Push it down my gullet. I'm going to stand my head. myself upside down, insert the syringe, pull, release and pump it into your little mouth. And I'm going to hungrily gobble it down. Gobble. Gobble.

Feeling better yet? Jigs and put your gun down yet? Yeah. I'm feeling as good as I've ever felt. Anyway. Next question. Go on. So have I told you my daughter's got, so she's got an iPad, right?

Oh yeah? And she's got the ability to, I message me when I'm out. Yeah, I have that, yeah. So, my daughter. I was doing something last night. I was out. She'd messaged me. Can I get Minecraft?

Yeah. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what the other. You're at home with your mum. I can't make this call now because I don't know. I know that's one of those things where there's probably a simple, I don't know anything about it. Also, I think the first time they download an app, you want to be with them so you can double check all the privacy and privacy.

You're not just approving it. You know, sometimes it's like one pound of top of vodka. That's why she's asking because I have to approve. Right. I've annoyingly set it up so that I'm the approval. Oh, no, we've got double approval. Right. It's a two-factor authorisation approval system in our own.

No, no, is it? No, one can do it. Right, yeah. So obviously I'm straight on your friend of mine, Google Gem and I, can an eight-year-old, Minecraft. I think Minecraft's actually decent. Yeah, that's what it said. It said, yeah, that's good.

It's better than Roblox. She's entering a competition where you have to design a school from the future on Minecraft or something. This was what was happening. Bloody burning ruins the way the bloody world's going. Oh, here we go, here we go, yeah. It would just be a chip that you put in your head and you have all knowledge. Exactly. And Rob will be fine because for once you won't get angry about the Thor's school.

It would be ideal. and she So this morning She's on Minecraft And she goes Oh dad you just press that button I was like looking at it over her shoulder She said press that button up or something down

I just pressed the button She just went down into the water And she was underwater and stuck And she couldn't get herself out now She was like what have you done And I thought oh my God I've become one of those dads That can't handle modern technology

So you drowned her You drowned her avatar Well, she didn't drown. She was, you know, they don't drown. You waterball did her avatar. Yeah, she was under there for fucking ages as well. It's a nightmare. Fucking lungs on this fella.

I've become like when my dad used to pick up the joystick backwards after I'd say, do you want to play? Do you know what I mean? Or lean to the left. Yeah, and you're like, oh, fucking out. Grandad, this is embarrassing. That kind of feel. Yeah.

I just like, oh, God, that's me now. That's who I am. No, but you can change it. I mean, like I still like computer games. Planet Zoo 2 is coming out soon and I'm going to have that. Right, so what is that? Is that like Sim City for zoos?

Yeah, that sounds like one of your punchlines. Honestly, it was like Sim City for zoos. But be careful. You want to get the settings right because my daughter accidentally had settings where other people could come and visit her world. They could interact with her or talk to her, but they could come and visit.

So people can come and you can show. off your created world. But she had a thing where you can put on it, they're not allowed to tamper with the world, or they can edit the world. She left it open to be edited. Someone came into her world and poured lava over everything

and just burn it all and just... Oh my God. Completely blitz the whole... What? Land. She spent eight weeks building this, and then she was so upset. It was like grieving and a loss of something

because I know it's on a computer machine. It's equivalent to, you know, building a den in the woods and someone's setting it on fire. And did she know who it was? Yeah, it was some username. So I can't remember what it's... She'd still remember, but she's out.

She's at school. It would be like something like, you know, Baker could get like... And you couldn't do anything. You couldn't like... No, it's gone. Oh my God. That was heartbreaking.

Oh, my God. Make sure the settings are right. Because what happens is they update the app and you have to redo the settings. That's the problem. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Start trying to keep an earl in your pocket, mate.

Oh, Rob. It's all. too much for me. It's all too much. It is too much. It is too much. It really is. I think it's because doing a tour show as your job, right, and you travel to little towns and you get into a routine of what you do, once you're doing it actually becomes quite simple. Oh, it really does because you're like, I get there, I have the same dinner. Yep. I do that. I get back in the car. I have my shreddies. I know where I am with it. I get home. I do the school run. I do the school run. I do the same. I do the and then I go again.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but actually, it's harder mentally, I think, sometimes to juggle normal parent life of, get to that presentation, do this, oh my God, what's that parent's name, go here, do that, make sure you're there for that time. One of my daughters is joining a cricket club. So I've got to wait for him to finish school,

get them there, but I've got to make sure I've got her an outfit to wear for cricket in a bag, but also we're going straight from the school to the cricket, so we're going to need some sort of lunch, go and like dinner, dinner thing. Yeah, yeah. And so it's just a constant change where just chuck me out of the stage. And obviously I know that we moaned about touring, but it's to travel is the hard bit.

But it's not difficult. It's just laborious. It's not mentally challenges. It's just like hard being away. What would it be called? It kind of infantilises you. It makes you. That's why all footballers are a bit like, yeah.

Oh, where's my passport? Because I've had it for 30 years. Totally. You're totally looked after. Not completely. Like we're not in the same way as being in a football team. But you know that I often get the train to the venue, but I know how to get a train. Yeah, yeah, cool.

Good job you do as well with your schedule. Even when I'm on the train without being crass, you know, I'll go first class. You travel in style. Quite right. You work hard. So someone's bringing me tea and someone's bringing me fizzy water. So I'm even infantilised on the fucking train. And then Ali will pick me up from the station.

I'll get in the back of the van. We'll get there. I'll do the sound check, which is 30 to 45 seconds. And then that's all I've got to do for two hours. And then I'll sit and I'll look at my phone and I'll eat the dinner that Ali has gone and got. And then I'll do the show. And then I'll have the fucking cheek to be tired. But it's to travel.

It's not the show. It's traveling to Doncaster and then Derby. That's the bit that's difficult, not the actual gig. The gig's the easy bit. Yeah, exactly. It's kind of switched from where. when we were in our 20s when we'd just go, yeah, I could be, I never get tired, I can go anywhere,

but the bit that's difficult is I'm shit at stand-up. Oh my God, imagine if you were shit at stand-up, it'd be the worst job ever. Oh, my God, it'd be awful. Because it's quite challenging and I'm decent, do you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. At least I know I'm good at stand-up and a thousand people in that room want to see me.

Because sometimes I hear people moan and I go, God, it's so, I'm like, well, the stand-up bit is easy bit, mate what's going on here maybe don't do it maybe do something else you feel about being a writer exactly exactly even though it's a bit of a challenge for this and I'm a bit here and then everywhere I'm absolutely loving it because I feel very present and anchored into the girls lives and we're messing around listening to songs and laughing and playing silly games so I'm really enjoying sort of doing more parenting totally being at home which is something I've wanted for a little while so that's good it's really good and that's why I'm slightly annoyed to be ill because I was

really looking, but I've got next week off basically. Yeah, so just allow yourself to be ill, Josh. You've been nonstop. Also, don't forget the pressure of a big announcement for Strictly and all of the things that come with it. And that week when it was being announced, you were everywhere. And then the World Cup starts next week. I'm so excited for the World Cup.

I'm so, I cannot exist without sport. I've realized when the season's over, I've got nothing that anchors my week and I feel lost at sea. Do you know what? It's interesting you say that because... I've not been listening to Talk Sport. You've not been listening to Talk Sport? Oh my God, I thought you were less angry.

I am not as into football as I was in that I don't watch it that much, but I realised when the season ends, it's still my marker. It's still my thing I'm checking every night. Oh, great, there's a football match. I can follow the score. And I'm still following it. It's still the soundtrack to my week. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, 100%. I feel so old and boring now. that is really the big excitement of my life is football. Yeah. Like last night, Lou's not here. The kids were in bed. I went down to say it's going to, I don't know what to tell you. I'm going to...

Shag my laptop. Listen to a podcast. No. I'm going to listen to the podcast. Yeah, I went down and says, what you know what I'm doing? I'm going to just go fuck the letterbox. I'm just going to open it up and just sit my dick in it and rough ride it till the morning. No.

I said, I'm going to listen to a podcast and do some Lego. I'm building a Jurassic Park Jeep. Okay? And then this is out, and I just thought, what is happening? I'm only 40, right, but I felt ancient. I've got a bottle of Fanta Zero fruit twist. It's my favourite Vizzy Drink. Yeah, treat yourself.

Yeah, love it. Because I'm good to put some real energy into you before bed. Well, that's what I was thinking, but it's zero sugar. Yeah, yeah. So I thought of it. But that's what I thought. Oh, should I have that? Because it might have a bit of, and I'm like, it's zero sugar.

Fucking hell, Stephen Bartlett. I'm not having two glasses of Fanta, and I feel like, oh my God. God, like, I was like, I better not have a third. Out for three days. What the fuck? I'd be definitely like eight pints a night, four days a week when I worked in an office job. I know. It's mental.

It's mental. Absolutely pathetic. Anyway, however, though, I do think getting early nights and, you know, not being drunk and a little bit less stress now, you know. I was at the school concert, right, Josh, and this was the whole of the primary school. Yeah. I'm looking around the room, all the parents, okay? Yeah.

One parent walked in with Bluetooth headset on with a laptop open mid-meeting. Like, just before, you know, like, you know, the 10 minutes before it starts, everyone's shuffing around and waiting like that. And he's plowing through some fucking serious business, right? Like, literally, it looked like... Could he not just sit in the car? It looked like LinkedIn had come alive and generate into human form. Anyway, so I sat there, I look around to Lou.

I said, Lou, I reckon I'm top... I reckon I'm top 10% of many attractiveness. Fuck it out. Out of all the school dads, I think, I think you're looking at top 10%. So why do you go to such an ugly school, Rob? I looked around. I won't it. I'm in the top of 10.

But I worked it out because I realized a lot of the other 10% was made up of people in the same year, were my kids in the same year, which is like year three and year five, yeah. It's because we're younger than people older in the school normally, because, you know, people have kids around the same time. So we're a younger group, which helps, yeah? Also, the ones that are younger than us

have got kids in reception, they're still completely fucked because they've got like toddlers, babies, reception. They're all over the place. Like, we're getting to a little bit of a groove before real ageing sets in. So we're hitting a bit of a sweet spot of we've got enough time to go to the gym,

but our bodies are still in a shape where we can go to the gym. So I feel like I'm benefiting from that sweet spot. But look, I don't want to sound arrogant here, But I'd say I'm in the top 10% of school dads. Well, this is what I think, Rob. I think this is interesting. I do think I probably look younger than a lot of others. That is, A, I genetically do look quite young for some reason.

Yeah. Also, I think that there is a lot of bald men at this school which really pumped you up the charts. Yeah, exactly. When you get to 40, you've got good air. Fucking hell, it's great. Your top Trump card really starts to pump up. Do you know what?

There's not many comedians. of our generation who are going bald. Great, I'm in, let's go for them. I've never been more in since imagine this. Okay. Right, so Darrow Breyanbald, older than us, different generation. Old than us, yeah. So, good hair, Ramesh, unbelievable.

Ramesh looks like he's got all his hair. Acaster's got all his hair. However, Acaster's hair is the same colour as his face. I don't know what's happened to him. He looks like, all of him's the same colour. His face skin hair the lot I've never seen it I've never seen anyone's face

Like a Simpson He is the same colour all over It's remarkable But then you go through all of them Kevin Kevin Bridges is younger than us Right But he's got good hair Even McIntyre's only a little bit older than us

Macinty's 50 He's got good hair And then you've got Ed Gamble's got all his hair Nish good hair Nish has got good hair Rish James got good hair He's a little bit younger than us

Reis James has got good hair Um, who else did we do? What are the other TV shows? Well, Jonathan Ross has got incredible hair. Unbelievable hair. I'm just trying to think. You're only really looking at Harry Hill and Dara who've never had their hair. No.

As far as I'm aware, they came into comedy bald. John Richardson's. John Richardson's fighting. He's fighting. He ain't going swimming or to a windy cliff top. He's getting his air dry, sharpish. Well, Jim, he had a hair transplant, but he's, you know, 753.

Yeah, I don't, I don't think you can factor in Jimmy when you're discussing, like, looks and age, because it's just, he's not, it's not applicable. No, his first gig was a jester at Hampton Court Palace. But, yeah, no, there's not many bald comedians, just there, really. Yeah, so what's that all about? There you go. Andy Parsons was bald forever. Matt Lucas, obviously.

Matt Lucas, yeah, obviously. There you go. I don't know what that's all about. I don't know what that's all about. I don't know what that's all about, but let us know if you've got any thoughts on it. Why is there more bald men at the school gates than there is when I'm in a dressing room? Yes. Is it, can that stress cause baldness?

But are we more or less stressed? I think we're less stressed. We are way less. Josh, I was thinking about this other day, right? I've been watching a lot of documentaries about bands that I liked when I was young. Yeah. Because now they've sort of either reformed or enough times past that they can talk to each other. And I don't want to name names, but there was a few artists.

The Good Shoes documentary. What's that? The Good Shoes documentary. What's the good shoes? Wasn't Good Shoes the band that you like? No, Milburn. Milburn. No, but I was just looking, because there's loads of sort of bands that I like that, you know,

and there's people that, that Jamie T. hasn't done an album for a little while and stuff like that. He was brilliant. And I was just thinking, oh, my God, like, I'm so lucky to get to do what I'd do for a living and to have the career I've had when there's, you know, obviously I've worked hard and put effort in, and I think I've got talent, but there's loads of people that worked hard,

loads of people that got talent that didn't quite get as many lucky breaks that I may have got in my time. And I'm just so, I just sometimes think I'm so lucky to have this. Totally. Have you ever seen like an interview with someone who's got to the top of,

or, you know, near the top of what they do? And they go, all you've got to do is try hard and put in all the effort and make it your thing, follow your dream, and it'll happen. And I always think, no, it won't.

For most people, it doesn't. Yeah. Your sample is one person who got lucky. Don't trick people into thinking, everyone can do this, because we're incredibly lucky that we got through. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. And that sounds meant negative, but what I mean, what I'm saying is not, it won't happen. What I'm saying is, if it doesn't happen, that's not because you didn't try hard enough.

No, if it does happen, that's not all because of you. And if it doesn't happen, that's not all because of you. Yeah, totally, totally. And that's what frustrates a little bit when I've been reading up on dyslexia since I got diagnosed, is sometimes

they always go... Which isn't easy. Well, that's my point. It's really hard. No, it is. But there was a couple of books where they have it in bigger print, which does all, different colours.

But you panicked about that, Joe, didn't you? I did, yeah. Considerably we talked about me putting my dick through a letterbox. Now you're panicking that, you know, if you're dyslexia, you'll find it hard to read. I mean, that's fine. You can do that joke.

But it's those jokes where you go, oh, it's a bit cheaper, and is it? It's the classic. It's like when someone, goes, he's deaf and you go, what? It's that kind of joke. Do you know what I mean? It's good stuff. In my opinion, it's good stuff. No, because that's, I had a joke in my show about it where I've got diagnosed as dyslexic. They send me a full report that I've never been able to read. I've given up on it

about a hundred times. But they sometimes go with that. Oh, but Richard Branson's dyslexic or so and so dyslexic. I went, yeah, but that is the absolute minority. Most people that are dyslexic. In workplaces, they find incredibly difficult and haven't really progressed as far as they could of because they didn't have the support they needed at that time or maybe didn't have the confidence to push themselves. So let's stop telling everyone it's a superpower and you're really lucky because things do need to be changed and adjusted to accommodate the minority so that the minority becomes a majority, you know? Well, it's like when someone goes, you know, oh, my son's autistic and someone going to go, oh, what are they brilliant out then?

And you're like, it doesn't quite work like that. It's not just, there's lots going on here that's a real, you know, it really affects a lot of a day-to-day life. So it's incredible a drawing. Is he? No, what, that's not... Okay, now for a special part of the show, the summer holiday survival guide. Go for it, Rob. Look, we know it's tricky.

Six weeks can be a lot, but no fear. Rob and Josh are here to help with a guide to help you get prepared. As prepared as you can. Do you know what I mean? We'll try our best. This special segment... With good intentions.

With good intentions. This special segment is brought to you by Monzo, who make managing money with kids a little easier. Monzo's free kids account can help you and then get some structure into the summer holiday. Like scheduling pocket money to avoid the constant, can I have some money asks? And kids can set up their own pots for things they want to do over the summer holiday. Name their pots and add pictures. It gets them a bit more involved.

Too right, Rob. What are the things your kids want money for in the summer holidays? They are constantly on an ice cream at all times. Oh, yeah. And they can add up. I think maybe my kids could have an ice cream pot. and then that way they've got, that's their budget for ice creams for the summer.

And constant gift shops, Rob. Wherever we go, if there's a day out, can I get something from the gift shop? Can I get something from the gift shop? When are we leaving so I could go to the gift shop? Do you know what you can do though for your kids? You know, you've got the little garden set up that was the present from the grandparents.

You could have a little pot for like flowers, money for flowers, money for equipment for the garden and stuff like that. And then it encourages them to do more. Do you know what? Summer is a long time, but it's a good way to teach them to budget, isn't it, Rob? So I say here's your two pounds.

Yeah. Use it as you want over the next six weeks. Well, what we've been doing, though, is making them learn about earning money. So there's, when we cut the grass, we don't have, I don't put the little thing on it that collects it. I let it go on the floor and then they have to rake it. Oh, there we go. Yeah, what I've done is I've got my daughter to do my last three tour dates. Absolutely.

Brilliant idea. You can see pressure. You can see, you know, responsibility. Exactly. And from a distance, if you put her in sort of like a, you know, completely average Oxford shirt, jeans and dirty pair of trainers, from the back rows, someone might go, gosh, Josh does look smaller in real life. And he is funnier.

In terms of the holidays, Rob, what do you like to do that isn't, you know, costing the world? Do you know what I like, this is a little hack I like to do is if you are about to like renovate something, Say you've got a bedroom that you're going to paint soon or there's a wall or a cupboard or you know you've got a bit of furniture. I can't imagine that, but yeah. How is the kitchen? What kitchen?

I let them draw on the walls. Yes. Because if they're going to be painted over anyway, they feel so naughty, so excited. And also, after a while it does look quite nice. So like if there's something, you know, or if you've got an old bit of furniture, we let them paint it in the garden or they can do what they want to.

So stuff like that is quite good fun. If you have got a bit of renovating going on. overlook kids do love to help if there's a big job. Do you know what? And you forget, it's easy to forget that. Yeah. They do want to help. They want to feel that grown up side of them.

Do you know what I mean? Yes. Cooking's another good one, like baking or something. That's not that expensive. But it's a good activity and then they've got the cake for a few days. All that kind of stuff is great. Definitely. Well, look, I hope we've been a help.

I hope we've been some help. Good luck out there to all the parents on their summer holiday. You know, we are there with you. going through a very long summer with you. Monzo's award-winning kids' accounts. Search Monzo, download your new favourite bank. For children aged 6 to 15, parent or guardian account needed first. UK residents only, T's and C's apply.

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Hey y'all it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair ever order furniture online and wonder what if like what if it doesn't hold up that sofa was four days old you should have ordered from Wayfair with Wayfair there's no what if just style you love and quality you can trust visit Wayfair.ca

Wayfair every style every home But yeah so you've been watching a lot of documentaries Oh yeah, and we've got it easy. We have got it easy. No, no, I haven't got it easy because we've worked really hard and it's a challenge. But no, we have got it easier than, you know. I just think sometimes you go, oh my God, there's so many people out there that are really talented and work hard that don't always get lucky breaks.

I'm really lucky that I was one of the people that did kind of thing, which is. And also I'm at school. I'm one of the fit dads. Yeah, of course. Of course you're one of the fit dads. This is something I want to talk about quickly before we move on. One, I didn't realize I've had my phone on dark mode for 10 years. What do you mean?

Which is probably affecting why I'm squinting. You know your phone you can have light mode or dark mode? So dark mode is at night. It's a slightly darker. So it's not so bright. I got that on. Well, if you go to settings and display, you've got an iPhone. Yeah, settings.

Go to your general and then display. General. Is it on there? This is fucking low for me, isn't it? I don't even know. No, no, no. Don't go to general. Go to display and brightness.

Go back, get out of general. Display and brightness. Yeah. And then it's just. I'd say. No, I'm in light mode. I've got light mode. I've got automatic.

Oh, so is that, you know, when someone sends you a picture and it's like their texts are in the dark? I don't really know. But so you see my phone, that's dark mode, it's all dark. I'm going to go into dark mode. Oh, you're in automatic? Yeah, I was, but it's just, but I've been in dark. I'm going light until sunset.

I'm moving into automatic. I've done it. Fair enough. But I find it hard to read it. Oh, right. Yeah. But then I'd realize, because when we were, that's because we're old and we don't understand technology.

Rob. Have I mentioned this before as well? This has been annoying me and I don't know it's because I've been doing a lot more school runs and I've been more tired because normally when Lou's home, she gets up earlier than me, gets them already. I'm literally a cab driver. Yeah. The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Yeah, exactly. Just doing what I should have been doing. If it wasn't for Mickey Flanagan breaking through and then decided not to do any work, that's what I'd have been doing. And sometimes, you know that a car lets you go. Yeah. And sometimes you go, oh, okay, then let me go. Then it really annoys me if they sort of go, come and then, just like motion quick. going like, I let you go, you've got to move quick.

I'm like, no, no, no, no. If you let me go at my own pace. You're not now in charge of how I drive. Yeah, I'd say, Rob, your school run, not nearly as stressed as my old school run, which was unbearable. Yeah. But it does feel like, because are you driving

and then they're just kind of jumping out? Yeah. It feels like there's a lot of stressful driving in your school run around the school. It isn't that stressful, but it is 20 minutes of driving every morning. You know what I mean? There's never normally like bad, bad traffic or, you know,

but sometimes at the roundabout. But it feels like people are coming and going and do-da-da-da. Yeah, it's not like you just park up easy and have a nice walk in. It's like, yeah, so it is quite stressful, but the trade-off is living in the countryside. Oh, do you know what my nicest bit of the day is, Rob? This is your whank. Oh, that's a show. Yeah, too can play that game, man.

Yeah, exactly. Do you know what? Too show, yeah. A crude retort. Yeah, exactly. Come on, go on you little twee, whimsy little thing you like, and now I've just wanked all over it. Yeah, well, it is my wank, actually.

You can drop in when you think I have my wank in this. So I wake easier than Rose, right? And what wakes you just, in general, you're just up early? Just angst about the world heating up and the fact that my children will be living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Yeah, that gets me horny too. No, what wakes me? Just that I'm better at getting up.

Rose takes longer to get into the day. Yeah, we spoke right in his four. We're like the opposite, aren't we? Lee, you're right. So I'll get up and I've got to feed the cats and make the tea. How are the kittens, by the way? Wow, they're not kittens now, really, they're cats. Not as good, aren't they?

Can't they make little kittens that just stay kittens? I know, I know. But they are, you know, they're still purr in a way. How's Beryl as well? We haven't had a barrel up there? Beryl. She eats outside because... Oh, Alfresca.

Well, no, in the shed. How? Because we have to feed them separately because otherwise they'll steal her food. Oh, they're bullying Beryl. So the new cats are in, why aren't they out new cats in the shed and Beryl inside? Well, no, we have to put her food somewhere where they can't get to it. Got you. Right.

So I feed the cats inside. How do the little cats, sorry, I'm getting really bogged down on this. How do the new cats know not to go in the shed? We just keep them out. But how does Beryl get in and at the shed? Well, this is what I do, Rob. I get up, I feed the two cats in the house. Yeah.

And then Beryl knows. So we walk together out of the house to the shed. Yeah. Open the door. Feed Beryl. I have to close the door so that the cats don't come in. Yep. And I just sit there for like three or four minutes and just watch Beryl eat.

And that is a lovely, that's my favorite bit of the day. Oh, so I was going to try and. And that's what I have my wank. And I was going to. I was about to Stephen Bartlett optimise your morning. No, I don't know if you want it opt on. I don't want it optimise. If you could get a electronic cat flap that only responds to Beryl's microchip

so that she can go in and out of there whenever she wants. That's a good idea, actually. And then you can have the food in there. And then that way... That's a really good idea, yeah. And do you know how I knew about that idea? I didn't have three glasses of wine three days ago. Of course, of course.

I'm podcasting well. Well, you've listened to the last 50 minutes, guys. You know that we're sober. Can I want to create a world where whatever it is Stephen Bartlett is doing has a different name to what this is. Because I don't want to be podcasting if that's podcasting. Well, I thought, and I'm not accusing Stephen Bartlett of when making that famous speech,

having been within the last 72 hours, I've had a glass of wine. But he used the word, I podcasted. And I don't think that's a real word. I podcasted badly. Because really podcasting is existing, but with a microphone. Yeah, I did a podcast badly. It's maybe the way.

I podcast. What have you done today? I podcasted. So when is he doing it well? Just as a frame of reference, I'd quite like to see him to clip up. This is me, sober. Do you know what? It'd be a really good game would be for Stephen Bartlett to say one of these five podcasts was the post wine one. And then everyone has to guess. Everyone has to guess. Do you think, now, he gets a lot of grief.

And I don't want to jump on a pile on because after a while he is a human being. I cannot enjoy his podcast, but we shouldn't be jumping on him as a person. Yeah. You know, no matter how fun it may be. Yeah. But is he now, obviously he loves numbers, analytics. Yeah. Popularity.

You know, that's it. That's what I like doing this because I like to just express myself, have a laugh of a mate. If people listen and listen, if they don't, they don't. And I put it out there, right? I've never looked at the stats for any episode we've ever done and gone. All that one went well. Let's do more of that. I just think, you know.

Is there a phrase, I heard someone say this week, if you're doing it for clicks, that's not your art. Well, exactly, yeah. So, so this is my art. No, but do you know what I mean? No, but it's true. That's true. That's not, you're not expressing yourself if you're doing it for clicks.

Call it art or self-expression, whatever you want to call it. Is he now at a point where he knows that rage bait sells, is anything he's doing? Is he adding a bit of stank on it? And we're playing checkers and he's playing checkers. and he's playing chess and he's going, if I say that, everyone's going to jump on that. Everyone's going to clip it up because the more people talk about it, that you more people will go, yeah, what's his?

And then they start listening because... Yeah, I don't think you're going to call ahead of time, the wine thing happening in the way it did. No, but do you think he's done things like that before? Because even when he went, you know, because I looked at my word, hashtag spawn, hashtag ad, hashtag invest, you know, he's aware of that kind of kickback he's getting because he's gotten trouble before for promoting stuff.

But now we're talking about him. and we're one of the biggest podcast in the country. Everyone's talking about. He must, his business brain must go, this is good. Because the beauty of it is, is you can still listen to his show if you dislike him because you're there for the guests. Yes. So he doesn't have to be necessarily likable.

I don't think you do dislike Stephen Bartlett at all. No, I don't dislike him. I find his podcast a bit too heavy going for me. And I, no. It's not for me because it's not how I live my life. I don't dislike him as a bloke. If anything, I feel like I want to put my arm around and go, come on, mate, have a couple of glasses in me.

I'll show out of a podcast well. Yeah, yeah. Mate, have you ever thought about not thinking about thumbnails? Because I think, obviously, it does help people watch it, but really, how much extra is it bringing to your life? Yeah. How much more do you know? He's a billionaire anyway, ain't he?

Oh, I presume he's. Maybe not a billionaire, but it. Was it called the CEO of a billionaire, was it? I don't think he's a, yeah, he's got to be a millionaire. Yeah, yeah. He don't buy any clothes, does he just wear his black top? Yeah, the black top's an interesting thing. isn't it. But Michael's got a uniform. Did you hear that?

Yeah, I did. I want to know. Is he, is he a tech bro? Are we being fiddled by our own? What is Michael's uniform? And also he's had to sit through us to about bald men and he wasn't mentioned once. I'm very secure with my hairline. Don't worry. Oh yeah, that's exactly the kind of thing someone would say. That was too quick. Well, it sounds like he's recorded that and played it out as he cries every time he says it. It's been bubbling for 25 minutes. What was he going to ask?

What's your uniform? Well, it's not really a uniform. It's a joke my fiancé makes in that if I don't have time or if I don't want to think about it, it will just be black jeans, black t-shirt, and then some kind of checking. Because it works in almost all scenarios. That's fair, though.

Do you go to the podcast Expo or whatever it's called? What is it? What is the event? Shall we go? Well, the big podcast show I don't go to because it's the same time as Cannes Film Festival. Oh, here we go. Priorities are, mate.

No one's wearing a fucking hoodie at Cam Film Festival, are they? No wonder our thumbnail is a shit. This fucker wants to be Spielberg. I'm just harvesting clicks, mate. This is not my art. Oh, dear. This is, well, this is my art.

Now, small business shout out. Yeah. Talking of people who've followed their, you know, their dreams to do their art. Hello, Rob, Josh and Michael. Please can you do a small business shout out for my new business venture? Beach Hut 72A Wells, next to the sea in North Norfolk.

That's a really catchy name. North Norfolk though. You remember that. North Norfolk Digital. Recently refurbished to accommodate up to six on the beautiful Sandy Wells Beach, perfect for escaping the sun or rain with everything you could want for a perfect family day out, including plenty of beach toys, hammock, deck chairs, rugs, games, books, hot water bottles, blankets, a gas stove, complimentary tea, coffee, hot chocolate, crockery and cutlery.

just bring food. We are also on the dog friendly side of the beach. So very welcome to bring dogs to. We've got a dog bowl and dog treats provided. Single day hire available. Visit us on Instagram at Beach Hut 72A Wells or see our listing on beachhuts.com. Thank you so much. Stay sexy and relatable. Lauren Gibson Green. This feels perfect for us, Rob. Can I eat a yoghurt while you do this? Yeah. During all the car naps over the last two and a half years, um, Keep going. I just saw myself in the camera. I looked like a child eating like a delicious Ella packet.

And thank you for both listening to this email with such joy. My child passed away last year. No, I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. You can't be doing that. I've never seen a yoghurt disappear from shot so much. Oh, I'm with bright red.

You pulled it down. I just didn't want to see in my face. Sorry. Yeah, anyway, sorry. So I was toying with putting some of my tongue and going to when you were talking. Right, thanks for entertaining me during all the car and ups over the last two and a half years. Please could you do a small business shout out for my lovely friend Laura,

her husband, Ben, and her dad Dave who run cricket kids. Oh, what the chances? I went to someone who played last week, Josh. Did you? Yeah. Cricket kids is a weekly cricket club for two to six-year-olds. Two. Two's got to be bent on it.

Well, with the money in the IPL, you've got to get them started early. This is this fucking gold in the hills. Project Tendalka. Project Tendalka. Currently running an Alcester in Warwickshire with plans to expand to a few other locations in the middle and soon. Cricket kids provide a really fun and safe environment for little kids to get to grips with bowling and batting, as well as just doing funny, silly games and getting them moving around to burn some of that toddler energy. My son has loved his first half term and the coaches make it so fun, catering to all abilities in the

class. For more info, people can follow at cricket kids UK on Instagram or email hello at cricket-hifenkids.com.uk. Thanks, Alex, 379 months old. Oh, was that the end of it? Yeah. Sorry, cut off. I did start looking at my text messages. I was the yogurt. The yogurt. No, I got a message. Sorry. So I'm just default parenting actually at the moment. I don't know if you know. I know, yeah. Of course, of course. Sorry. It's a bit of it, you know, the juggle is real. the jugglers Rickle is Rickle Rob

Am I around right Josh, I see you next time See you next time You feel better You're better than you were at the start I feel much better Do you know what

I think we could do another episode I'm gonna get a cup of tea See you next week Bye