Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S12 EP9: That's bad podcasting

Episode Date: February 3, 2026

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... this week Josh gets stuck at a work event and very nearly misses the last train back to Exeter. You can listen to Josh's new podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ 'Museum of Pop Culture'⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes released twice a week. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is presented by Vauxhall. So Josh, News UK have voted the new Vauxhall Frontera as the value car of the year 2025. Rightly so. And do you know why I can say that, Rob? Why? And you know this, I've test driven one. Oh yeah, and I've been test passenger.

I got to drive the Frontera. Faults? A, the tech was so good, right, that it was just simple. I felt like it was my car the moment we were moving. Yeah? We had loads of bootroom, you saw that. Oh, I had a little peek in the bus. back. I was thinking this is perfect for a family. It was spacious. It was easy to use. And do you know what as well? No offense. I wasn't too near you.

No, no exactly. There's so much space in the front. I didn't feel like I was touching you. I couldn't smell you. It was great. It's available in electric. It's available in petrol hybrid. The electric is cheaper. It is available from 23,995 pounds. Oh, that sounds like value to me, Josh. That's great value. Great value. Top value. Do what I did, Rob. Test drive the new Vauxhall Frontera today. Discover more by searching Vauxhall Frontera online. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with? Right, yeah. Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Bittittitt. Yeah, and can you say Josh Whittickon?

Josh Lettiecom. Yeah, great job. Munchkin. I like being able to hear Mawana in the background as well. I liked hearing the lady from baby reindeer, settling down with a family, and expressing herself, putting all that noise behind her and cracking it on.

All those unfair accusations. Oh, yeah. Bless her, that's very... I got all like, when I shut my eyes, just seen her at the bar asking for a cup of D. Hi, you fair hair duo. Can I just say I found other parent-wankers To be one of the funniest episodes ever

Oh, let's get more of them in When other parent-other-parent wankers Yeah, could not stop laughing out loud At the tall police woman, etc. I've got Alzheimer's Robb. I've got no fucking memory of any of our episodes. I think we do too much. We need to talk about this.

Not of this in general. I went to Dubai last week for 24 hours. Who the fuck am I? James Bond with a subplot in a film. I'd say that's longer than I'd like to spend there. But, oh, you bitch. Here we go. Here we go.

Take that Rio Ferdinand. I didn't see him, actually. I'm on a gin-sing coffee pod. Are you? I don't even know what it was. I found it in a drawer. Coffee pod is one of the few pods that hasn't been. Anyway.

Welcome to coffee pod. Welcome to Gin. I'm gin and I'm sing. And it's time to pot about coffee. You know how this works. Every morning we crack open a new pod, pop it in an espresso, and let it brew. Now, what are you drinking, gin?

Tea. Decaf tea. Oh, God, I've got to tell you about my tea bags as well. Is that in relation to your pants? Not far off. Same journey. This is our gorgeous A-R-I-I-N-A-N-A-S-A-H-E-Y-A-N-S-H-E-E-A. How you're spelling it?

Well, they've given me the phonetic as well. they've given me, so it's A-I-Y-A-A-A-A-I-N-A-A-I-I-Y-N-A. Yeah, well, thank God they broke it down for you. A-K. A-K. A-Y-ya or Yai-E or Yaiyo, there was a phrase when she started, fuck here now. Say your name. Is she submitting herself as Perot-Wanker? That's mean. I absolutely, I have absolutely, can I apologize to this poor woman.

I've turned up, it's the last month. day in January. I'm fucking livid with the world. Why? I'm just taking out on it. Because it's miserable and cold. What's the theory on you? Have you had talk sport on this morning? No, I haven't actually, because I only listened to talk sport when Tottenham

lose an Arsenal win, but Arsenal last. Oh, right. Okay. So it's not talk sport. I actually stayed away from that. I just can't do the dark and the cold in January. In Dubai last week, now I'm not turning into Rio Ferdinand here. I went outside. It was 20 degrees in sunny.

my mood was absolutely through the roof. This is Vicky and Ayanna from good old Glasgow. Sorry, Vicki. As Rob would say, Rob has to say this bit in his impression of a Scottish accent, she said. What's her problem? Hey, hey, hey, hey. Are we not getting on with her today? You can't say you were being bad.

And then she's trying to, she's holding out an olive branch. I wouldn't have apologised if I knew she was going to half mug me off halfway down the email. She loves your Scottish accent. Oh, does she? Well, I don't know. Well, does she, I think she finds it. What's wrong?

What's wrong? Has Lou finally left you? No, no, no. It's been great. No, no, I just, I think there needs to be some sort of science experiment. I was like about January. I can't, I just can't cope. Also, as well, let's for the record, I have got no reason to complain. My life is lovely.

I'm very privileged, very lucky. I own well. I've got a job I love. doing of it. It can be high pressure at times, but I enjoy it. And that's fine. And I accept that. Everyone's happy and healthy.

I haven't got one thing to moan about, but I'm fucking livid. Yeah. How does that? What's wrong? I just can't do the darkness. Well, you know, it was, I, yeah. I was going to do a joke like Justin Hawking's, but I couldn't be bothered. The darkness guy?

Yeah. About what me not like in the darkness? Yeah, yeah. Oh, right. And you were going to say, actually, I think. I believe the thing called Love's a great. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

You know, they were fun for a couple of years in the early 2000. Well, so I don't have a go at them. I like the darkness. We had them on the Christmas last leg one year. They were brilliant. You've changed your tune. I've always liked that. Hey, he does a great.

If you like a, if you want a YouTube series, Justin Hawkins is your man. Oh, talk about music. Yeah, it's really fun. The songs he likes. He's great, Justin. I'd like him on this. I'd like him on this.

I'd follow either of Instagram, Rob. I don't know. Do you think I'm across who follows you on Instagram? Oh my God. I've just gone on Instagram. Tom Allen's been announced for Titanic. I know it's going to be amazing, isn't it? Good to see they haven't done any photo shoot.

They've just put a picture of him in front of the Titanic logo. I know. That's all you need, isn't it? Who needs him dressed up? They'll see him on the night. Sorry, I got stripped by Titanic. Does Justin Hawkins follow me on Instagram? Instagram.

I mean, what we've got a lot to get through here. We have actually. You're trying to psychoanalyze me, which is fair enough. We've got to get through your pants. He only follows one person, the darkness. That's all I'm following at the moment. Rob, so this is what I've watched happen, right? Go on.

I think it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Do you think I'm creating my own narrative about January? I think you've created your own January narrative. Really? Yeah. I've seen you doing it. It's you're doing the opposite of what. how Jake Humphrey's would approach January.

Well, if that's the case, and I'm happy with my approach. I've always said this. Trying to get good advice, isn't about finding someone and you think that's the way to do it, find someone and you think that's not the way to do it and then do the opposite.

My enemy's enemy is my friend. Exactly. Jake Humphrey's not my enemy. I've said this before. I like the way he's doing things. Good luck, Tim. Not a bit of me. And that's fine.

The same way of liver and bacon. Can't go near it. Yeah. I hate them. Are they on Talk Sport 1 till 4? Liver and bacon were fucking ripping Thomas Frank a new one. The bottle job segment on Artetta was great. I liver, I've had enough of you.

You keep banging on about spurs. Bacon's all right. But liver, you're a mug. Now, go on. Do you want me to tell you some things to cheer you up? Yeah, tell me, yeah. Look, I apologise to him, Midge, I'm trying my best.

It's all right. In our defence, this is 9 a.m. on a Monday morning. I will get happier as the week goes on, but I struggle on a Monday morning. We should move on recording times. Because we do every Monday at night. I wonder what the podcast will be like if we did it later in the week. You coming live from Fat Boy Slim's Q?

It's like outside reporter like Andy Peters. Yeah. I'm a Fat Boy Slim announced a massive mega prize. I was going to say this will cheer you on. So I did the corporate on Friday. Yes. So I was on day for the building industry. All right.

They can be a bit tricky then because a bit lads, lads, lads. Well, Rob, you wouldn't believe who they said was the, who they kept using as example of someone who'd absolutely ripped it. Jake Humphrey? Rob, Beckett. Rob, Rob, Rob, Beckett. Was I there last year? No.

I was only meant to be doing the 10 minutes before the, awards. Yeah. And then the awards person dropped out on the day. No, not on the day. No, no,

no, sorry, the week before. All right. And, um, I got promoted to doing both. Lovely.

I thought it's easier, actually. Double bubble. You're not going to believe who dropped out, Rob. I can't say, but I can be, why not?

I always book my corporates in, in advance. And then you can say, this may need to be moved due to filming commitments. And if the, the schedule of the filming goes out on that day, you can,

it's in the contract. That's fine. Anyway, I was five days off the caffeine. I was five days off the caffeine. So you're off caffeine and you're fasting. No, I've been fasting a bit, but not loads. But you're off, you've come. Four or five nights a week. But you've, you've completely come off the, the first two days. I need to shit myself the other day, Josh, by the way. Oh, yeah. Just needed to go to the toilet and I had to run to the toilet and I don't know why. I did eat some chicken that had been in the fridge quite a long time.

Right. Yeah. And now it was fine. And I thought, I'm not sure about this. But, yeah, but apart from that, I'm all right. But yeah, I think that's what if I had to, you know, CSI narrow it down. Do you know what? I went to, so this is, I am worried my life is too boring now, Rob. Considering who I used to be. But you, I think, no, I don't think your life's boring. Alcohol.

No, but I don't think your life's boring. I think you're boring. No, I think you're not, you know, you're not raving or going. to I be for a, you know, for a big party. But you are doing lots of things I think are interesting to people because it is quite a manic schedule. And mine is too. This is not me from shade. I just mean in terms of consumption.

So I went to, so I've had to start taking my own tea bags with me out and about. But you're not drinking tea? For my decafs. Oh, right. So you're taking your own decas with you. Yeah. So when I'm on a train. I do feel like when people turn up to my house with their own tea bags, it does feel like their

souls left their body. I know. That's who I'm wrong. It's like, what is. The point in life, is there any caffeine in tea? Yes, Rob. There's fucking loads. I think that it's actual bollocks.

I've had a cup of tea and there's no impact whatsoever. This is what I thought, Rob. So I was having six. There is the same amount of check it on chat, GPT. That's what I did. Or did you wait for Jamie Comfrey to come off a bike sweating again for some more Intel? I'd be interested in his views on caffeine. Oh, they did.

So there's the same amount of. caffeine in a cup of tea is in one espresso. Can I tell you now? That is not true. It is. Right. I tell you what, let's do a test. You drink an espresso and we'll film your reaction.

No, I'm off the tea. I'm off the tea. No, no, no. You drink a cup of tea and I'll see your reaction. There is no way on God's greener. It might be the same, but the impact is different. There's the same amount of caffeine. Okay.

Tell yourself that. I find it pathetic when people have to have decaf tea. Yeah, but so do I. And now I'm one of them. Okay. Go on. How's your life changed it? I turned up to a play date yesterday.

Why don't you just have no tea? Because it's, I'm like, well, it's pleasant, isn't it? And I was like, I've brought my decaf tea bags. Do you know why this podcast works, right? And then we were talking about pubs and ex. I was like, oh, I don't drink. And then they were making pizza. I was like, by the way, I'm vegetarian.

You're like, fucking hell, who are what the fuck is going on? They must have been thinking, who is this? Absolute. Teadious. Well, I think that's why this podcast works. When you said there, I went, why are you still having tea there? You went, because it's pleasant. People will be listening to this going, oh, Josh, is so pure, isn't he? What a wonderful man.

He's trying his best to improve himself. Yeah, there is lots of caffeine in tea. And he needs to sleep, but he's not simple. He should come off that. And then the other people, what I like to call, the people like me, will just go, what a fucking pussy-o. And that's why this works. It's like liver and onions

It's how my liverm onions We've managed to create No bacon Bacon sorry But you're veggie So you've had to You've had to change your name It used to be liver and bacon

Now because he's got veggies Liver and onions Mushrooms on toast is it No but I think that's good Are you sleeping better? Like a fucking log It's mental Oh really?

I'm having the deepest dreams I've ever had in my life. It's so weird. How late did you used to have your tea? Never, never after six. But you've got to remember. He's like an espresso. Well, exactly, but I wouldn't have coffee after about two, three o'clock. The only time I'd have it after two o'clock would be if I've got a gig that night and I'm

knackered. Yeah, yeah. I was having them in the breaks of the gigs. But, God. Like 9pm? Yeah. Well, no, that's not my break. My break was at 8.50.

Yeah. 850. Well, yeah, near enough. Yeah, sorry. Why am I doing that to you? That's fine. That's bad podcasting. We can all hear it.

That's bad podcasting. It's just, technically bad podcasting is when the other podcast have pulled someone up on a detail that makes no impact on the story. But, you know. Anten Decker in a week and they're already better than me. Do you know what I find fascinated about Adon Decker at the moment?

Because they're entering the new podcast world, aren't they? Yeah. And they're like... They part their tanks on our lawn, right? No, no, no. But they're evolving because, you know, you have to have a presence, like doing content and stuff

as well as they're really well-produced shows. But obviously, we've come from... Let's just say their podcast is well produced as well, Rob. Well, that's what I'm saying... No, but what I'm saying is, that it's... They've come from pure producing, where we did comedy

and then we've done our own podcast and our own edgy, but fringe shows where it's all a bit haphazard and you do it yourself. But I do find it watching them, like, assimilate into like they're not

it's like everything's getting filmed that when they're going you've seen them on that stick to football over that thing they walk in and they have to walk in

like they've all been there for ages yeah yeah but they walk in but they're still can't fully like they're not walking out on a big set

yeah how do we operate well the way you operate in this in this form little tip Brandon deck just interrupt anyone that has a detail

that is at tall role. That's the way you do it. But I don't think the way we do it's the right way either, to be honest. No, no, I don't know what the right way is anymore. I saw, I was telling Michael, I saw a geyser on Instagram talking about the trailers for Stephen Bartlett, star of a CEO show. Right, yeah.

And his geyser was talking for three minutes about it. I thought it was a comedy sketch. Right, you know, when that, those sort of new comedy sort of TikTok people, because he had like his little glasses on these little top. Yeah, and the way you do it, you punch it. And I was like, oh, this is funny. And I'm laughing. And I'm about to send it to you.

And I look at the comments. And they're like, yeah, I keep going, bro. You're smoking it. And I was like, what? And I looked at it. And it's real. And he's got like 100,000 followers. Everyone's like, fucking hell, mate.

Your trailer was well. Good news. And I watched them. All really good trailers. But I was like, oh, God. Oh, man. I thought podcasting and comedy was like, you just turn up and just fuck about

and no one cares or one. a real job but everything feels like it's a real job. Michael, could you clip up a trailer of us and put it on Instagram and Twitter, which is just us loads of clips of us being shit? You mean the podcast? I did it like, yeah, yeah, I mean the podcast. He did what he said. I did it hear what he said, yeah.

You want to speak to that, you wouldn't you see to Stephen Bartlett like that. I think people listen to this like people used to watch Jeremy Carl. You know, I used to watch it going to. At least my life ain't that bad. I still not told my tea bag anecdote. We're 20 million. Sorry, sorry. It's not even an anecdote.

Anyway, I'm feeling much better. I'm much leveller. I left my tea bags on the train, though. Because I got myself a little tupperware, a tea bag tupperware. This, I would say, from the start of January to now, this month of podcast, it's been the biggest fucking roller coaster of emotions. You came in flying like a new man,

And now you've got your decaf, you're fasting, you've got your Tupperware, you're taking on too much work, then you're dropping work. I can't keep up. So I had a corporate on Friday, right? Yeah. Now, what that means is, we haven't skipped back. He started that anecdote again in the exact same way. My Spotify's gone wrong. Michael's edited.

No, no, no. Just you repeat the exact same line in the exact same way with exact same tone. So you're hosting an awards, right? This, when a comedian says they're doing a corporate, what they basically mean is they're hosting an awards for an industry that they have no connection to, right? And you have to turn up in the afternoon to do a rehearsal, right? It was the longest gap between rehearsal and on stage I've ever had, Rob.

Okay. What time? 3pm rehearsal, 10 p.m. stage time. Oh, that. I have to request that is kept to the shortest time possible, so I don't lose my mind. So then you go and sit in a hotel room, and you go a bit mental.

But I'd go out and buy a script thinking about the gig. I'd go out and buy some more decaf tea bags because obviously I'd left mine on the train. But what I'd done, I googled, there was a gym in the hotel. I was like, I'll go to the gym. Yeah, that's good. I brought my sports stuff up.

Yeah? Got my suit in one hand side of my suitcase. My sport stuff in the other, yeah? And you're Tupperware of tea bags. Topwear of tea bags in my rucksack. But you left that. You forgot that? I left that on the train.

Yeah. Right. Do the classic. The panted short over the old, over the old sun spells. Yeah, so why are you doing that? I don't know. It's just, I didn't, I shouldn't have,

well, this is why you're going to love, Rob. But you're aware that it's a bit mad now that it's been pointed out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I didn't even think about it. Went to the gym, great gym. Great gym. Really pushed myself hard, dripping with sweat. Nice.

Got back to the room, had my shower. Yeah. I hadn't brought a spare. pair of pants. Oh, you didn't. You've got to go Commando in that situation. You can't put the sweaty ones back on, Josh.

The first thing I thought of at that point was you. How do you not get skin infections? What do you mean? How are you not fungled? Because I'm wearing new pants every day. Did you put them back on? Yeah. Oh, Josh.

I didn't know what else to do, Rob. What would you have done? Would you have gone free? How, were they properly wet? Like, you could see sweat patches on it or fill the wet. I didn't know, but I could feel the wet. I could feel the wet. Gus it was wet.

Oh my God. Right. So in that situation, I am doing one of two things. If I've got time and I'm in a hot country, I'm washing them in the sink with soap. And then I'll dry them on the balcony or if it's a hot, somewhere hot, like outside, if it's 30 degrees. Okay. So we both know it was London. It was pissing with rain.

Well, you never know. I was in Dubai. No, so I would, I think I would have just gone commando in that situation. Would you? Yeah. gamble at a corporate, isn't it though? Are you wearing your white linen suit? Why is it a gamble at a corporate?

You're not going to get your dick at. No, no, you're not gladiators. You're stood talking. But do you feel naked and rude? I feel, well, I just feel tense enough at a corporate without thinking one tug on my trousers and I'm dick out in front of 500 builders. Well, that's what I did and they seem to like me.

So that's the last time I wear a pair of sun spells when doing gym. Have they sent you any free pants shit? No. The thing is, I don't think it's a great advert for them, is it? You know what? Their silence is deafening. You're not Mark Wahlberg and a pair of Calvin's. You're wet gusset at the Builder Awards.

Sometimes when I'm in London, I'll go in Sunspell and browse and the hope that they'll go, wait a minute. You're the reason we're still open. You're a wet gusset. You're a wet gusset. Here he comes. Oh, baggy wet gusset. I love your work on liver and onions.

Oh, dear. Not ideal. No, also, I just got to tell you this. We left a door closed and Beryl couldn't get out. Oh, what's she pissed on? Another mattress, gone. So if a cat pisses on a mattress, is that game over for the mattress? How do you wash a mattress?

We've done this with puffer jacket, aren't we? Well, at least that fits in a washing machine. How do you wash a mattress? Also, what annoys me about animals is just like, just piss on the floor, like the wooden bit or the kitchen. Why are you getting on a mattress? They're not pissing on mattresses outside.

Well, there's the opportunity now, because there's going to be one out of the back of our house next to a skip. Now, are they all right, though, Beryl and the cat kittens? They're getting on fine now. They're getting on good. Yeah, it's all blown over. The cat ate some chocolate cake on Sunday. Don't, don't, the kitten ate the chocolate cake.

Do not Google that after the kitten's eating your chocolate cake. Is it bad news? Yeah. It basically says you've got a dead kitten on your hands. Okay. Not in so many words. So what did you do with the kitten? Roe, I was at the...

Which one was it? It's fluffball or dean? Fluffball. I was at the... I was at the play date, where I was being... The friend of the means, if I say fluffborn Dean enough, your cats will just become fluffborn Dean to the wild of world.

That's fine with me. That's fine with me. I don't think Tilly cares. Or Dean. Rose phoned a friend who's a vet who said, just absolutely pummelah with food to push it through and kind of mean that it's not on an empty stomach and you'll be fine. Oh, that's good. Pamela with food. And that's advice.

That's not the words, but yeah. All right. And just so you know, I would not advise that, I'm not passing that advice on. No, that's what you did in your cats alive. That's what you can say from your experience. I would say go to a vet. That's what I would say you should do.

If you're pummeling a kitten with food, what are you giving it? Tuna with a little, the water? Well, the things, no, you know. Just normal food. Just normal food, yeah. Oh, right, no tree food. Strangely, Rose chose more chocolate cake, which I thought was insane. Talking to Rose, I've got some messages from her.

Oh, no. Stuff like what are you doing later? Josh has gone out. She said she's... How drives your gasset? How drives you a gass it? Too dry for me. So I'll play these voice notes.

Oh, for the fuck sake. What's going on? So I'm finally catching out with a podcast. And Josh mentioned on one that I'm the strongest in the household. But yeah, I shirk my responsibilities when it comes to... I agree. Stand by it. deliveries. Just because I'm the strongest doesn't mean that, you know, I want to lift everything.

And also, what about all the deliveries that he isn't there for while he's off on tour? You know, just have a minute to think about that. That, just because I'm... Oh, there's another one, but go and carry on. Well, no, it doesn't mean you want to lift everything, but it means you're the best. skilled. The best skilled at that job. In the same way, dare I say it, that I do the maths homework.

Okay. Now, what I'd say here. That was a gamble, wasn't it? That is a huge tip for tat. Shots fired. Now, you've opened, what you've done there is open an argument. My daughter does the math homework, but I'm there with her. Yeah, I know, but what you've done there is you've gone,

you could have taken a vows silence and let Rose win there, but now you've started another battlefront on maths homework. No, actually. So now what you've, they see, it's told the whole world, Rose can't do maths. She would be perfectly public about that. She hasn't got a math brain. She's not had the opportunity to choose, does she? What, I've outed her as being bad at maths.

Well, yeah, that's your words, not mine. I don't think she'd care. Okay. Well, we'll find out in about three to six months when she listens back. She's got through all of the fucking rest of its histories, whether Alexander the Great's finished. He must be done by now, surely He must be, surely.

All right, okay, then one more. Oh, oh, and also, thanks to you, Rob, for, you know, giving me and Lou some credit, where credit's due about kind of, you know, holding stuff together. I was, you know, I was quite shocked when Josh just immediately had to cut in

with his story about the forklift truck rather than just, you know, Maybe just having a moment for me. But no, you know, it's good that we heard about his forklift truck success. So this is when I was saying how much Rose and Lou have to do with, like, our tour diaries are mental and we're away so much. We move on to my tea bag story, right? And there was an opportunity.

I mean, I said it here. I put it on a plate for him to get some brownie points. And you did not want it. And then Rose said, and then he made it about. himself. Well, it is, you know, crucially it is a podcast for us, Rob. Again, I'd say you've doubled down twice, though. You've got incredibly offensive.

You do this as well. There's something about the voice note being delivered that means you can't accept it. I know it goes into your soul, doesn't it? It doesn't it. There's something about the voice note. You just can't go, okay, fine. There's no, the moment that voice note comes to go, I've got to disagree with this. There's no way I can.

and take this. It's so true, because I'm watching you going, Josh, you're sharp, accept it. But if it was the other way around, I'd be, not with the hair brushing thing. I straight went back in. Yeah, you still won't go back. You still haven't. I know. There's something about the voice note that makes you incredibly defensive.

Well, imagine how they feel. They're essentially getting until our voice note every week about our lives. Yeah, I know. And he still managed to make it about him. She's still not listening to it. Well, she's just caught up. So she was on it. Yeah.

Caught up. That fourth lift shop was about two months ago. Right. Now you've got a third problem. So basically she's shit at maths. No. She should be doing the lifting because it's not shirking. You're just the strongest one.

She's not listening to enough podcast for you. No, no, I don't mind her not listening. I'm not mine. I'm not listening. Oh, dear. Anyway. I had a slight boobie, though. My eldest had a sewing machine lesson.

Oh, yeah. We're doing sewing machine lessons. Yeah, and she was doing it with Fay, you know, and Izzy. So Faynees, so Fay helps me get clothes for TV shows and stuff. Yeah. And then, um, stylist. She's my stylist. Yeah.

Sorry, it's really hard to process that. Essentially, that's her job though. If I do a TV show and I need 10 outfits, she gets the outfits, come, does fittings. Izzy does alterations and she's, I seem, I don't know what official title is for someone. That's alteration seems. She's like, anyway, I don't know. Anyway, so they came and they were helping my oldest set up a sewing machine. So I said to my youngest, I'll take you swimming if you want.

and let the oldest have, because our kids are so close in age and they get on. I think we do too much together. Yeah. They need a bit of one-on-one time and stuff. And also, for the eldest, she's learning. There's the youngest, it's like, well, let her just learn so that she can do her own thing.

And then later on, we can teach the youngest, but rather than them always doing everything. Because also it gets very competitive. One's better than the, one will always be better than the other at things, because that's life. It's very rarely they're both exactly the same as stuff, whether it's riding a bike, scootering, maths or whatever. So I was like, well, I'd give her a bit of space

so she can do it about young people. Some people are better at other people than maths. Some people can lift. Some people can count. Yeah. And so I took a swim in and then when I looked on the ring doorbell thing, Faye and Izzy had both turned up with a massive suitcases. I was like, oh, God, am I supposed to be doing a fitting for some TV stuff?

I was like, oh, I wasn't sure. What turns out I was. So I had to say to my youngest was like, we can only go swimming for a little bit because I've got to get back. but then when we get back, I'm sure they'll, they're going to, I got them at the wrong end of the stick. I was like, oh, they'll teach you how to use a sewing machine as well, but there wasn't time to teach both.

We could only really teach one. So I was like, but I got the wrong end of the stick. So I sort of took her swimming, dragged their own on false pretense, and got back, and then she had no time to do the sewing machine. And then I'd spend an hour doing my work, getting ready for clothes, and I felt so guilty. She was just like, I'm bored. I'm so bored.

And I was like, oh, God. Where's Lou at this point? So Lou's there as well but she's paying attention to the side machine because she needs to know how it all work so that we can set it up. Anyway, she loves it. She's well into it.

How's your door getting on with it? She loves it. Yeah. Out to POM Stitch Tassel in Bovey Tracy? Great place. You did that last one. I named them wrong. Oh, you've got the name wrong.

It's not called Pompom Pong Stitch Tassel. Pompstitch Tassel. Yeah, that makes sense. An overnight bag on Saturday. It's great. it's really good. I know this sounds mad, but it's just making something out of nothing

is just incredibly impressive, isn't it? And you can sort of, what's the fun about it? It's like they can just start in 15 minutes. She had a lesson yesterday in 50 minutes. She was like, oh, I'm going to make mum a pillow. I made a little pillow out of that with stuff. It's great.

I'm just going to start taking my trousers up and stuff. Have you got short legs? Well, no, but if you buy stuff, it doesn't fit right, you can get all right. I have to take up every pair of trousers. I've never not to take one pair of trousers. Really? Yeah.

You just can't find trousers in my stress. Really? Well, you, Josh Willerkin, must have to take trousers up. Shotball trousers don't fit? All I'm saying is, really? That period when people like the fashion of the boot cut dragging along the floor really was my zenith. That was a period when I was called.

Boot cuts are coming back. That flared out of the end is coming back. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. You're just straight leg. Yeah, I'm straight leg in a gene Yeah, okay, fair enough Yeah, why not?

No, that's fine Yeah, me too, I'm straight-licking a gene, I'm just saying Why do you're a pair of trousers that flared out slightly On Graham Norton the other day Did you? Yeah, only subtly We notice it more because you're used to skinny jeans I've got a baggie, my chinos are baguier, Rob

Sorry, what do you, what do you, what? Your chinos are baggier, what then you're... I don't know if that's a full sentence. What, my chinos are baggy than my jeans? They'll talk about my trousers You know, my chinos are baggier? Oh, all right, okay, fine. Is this bad podcast in her?

Pop this in the trailer, Michael. I want to talk more about my negativity, Josh, in January. Oh, yeah, yeah. So this is quite good now. You know, have you? No, I'm fully aware of it. But the thing is as well... It's fed itself.

No, I know. But it can't do, John. It can't just come every year, like... Yeah, no. Have you got S-A-D? I think it's the darkness I think it's something to do with that there must be it can't be

it must be something to do with that because it can't just be for no reason whatsoever there's no reason for it this time of year apart from the weather and the darkness no yeah you could definitely have SAD and Christmas carries you through because Christmas carries everyone through because Christmas makes it cozy

I had two weeks in the sun you know I've had a very like I've started the year in good spirits work's been fine I've enjoyed all the gigs I've done It's about doing like a new project. That's what I always find infuses me in January. Oh, no, I hate new projects. Yeah, you do, don't you?

I just think, oh, God. My anxiety will come up because I don't know what I'm doing. Once I'm into something, I'm more relaxed of it. Because that's what I do is every January, I'm like, great, fresh year. I'm doing this, this, this. Yeah, you're great in January. I, January, it's not my month. I prefer January to say July.

Oh, you're mad. Well, I think I might re-evaluate my relationship with the heat now we've left London. I think you need to be more comfortable and confident wearing shorts day to day in summer. How we're shorts day to day? No, not when you go to meetings. I don't know wearing shorts to a meeting. That's what I'm saying. I think you've just got to embrace it in June, July.

When you're going to tank, you're a creative. You're a media guy, put a pair of shorts on and just shuffling. You're in Exeter now. You're a Devon, dude. Oh, God, no. It's just come up from bloody Devon. Of course he's got shorts on. Surfball under the arm.

No, but like, so this is, but this is how unhinges, it's not of self-fulfilling prophecy, Josh, because I've got loads of things in place. I've been doing loads of exercise. I've been eating, I know about this, but I've been eating day to day healthily and stuff. I've not, I'm not drinking, so it's not like I'm, so I get really negative thoughts and spirals. So like to the point where it makes me laugh actually. Well, I came out, I went to the, I went to the chiro practice the other day, just saw my back out.

I came out and I saw a little dog and I was already going, you've got, got to do this, you've got to get that train, you've got to do this, and I'll find my brain's 100 miles an hour. And I saw this little dog, and I went, and you didn't even get a little dog, your stupid, you what? I know, I was like, what? I was like, what? This is what actually my brain said in my head? I was like, because, you know, one of our whippets is slightly bigger that is massive compared to a normal whipet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So now my brain is trying to find any little thing to the point where it's picking on me for a dog that's slightly bigger than a dog should be, but actually I do like the whippets because little dogs annoy me

because I trip over them. But my brain is, but the dog earlier that morning had jumped up on the kid. So that it's, it's clinging. I'm like, this is mental. And what I've worked out to do is I work feasts or famine

where I work loads, loads and loads, and then I've loads of time off. Yeah. But it becomes very intense. So I think what I've got to try and do is, well, both of those are intense.

Exactly. Because then it's like, you must enjoy yourself because you've got time off. You find yourself crying in the Maldi. Exactly. So this is my, so what I've got to try and do is I said, I had a bit of an epiphany about this where what I've got to try and do, I thought this cut, this is not normal. This is so mental. So what I've realized is I need to. It was small. So about the size of the dog in the fight. It's about the epiphany and the light. So I was thinking right. What I could do is not work so intensely, bring that down a bit. And then also not have to have massive breaks because I'm about to burst. And I currently play my life, let's say, I live my life. Like I'm playing a game of football, yeah, like I'm just a defender, ordering it away. When the ball cut, it's like, get it away, get that done.

Yeah. Get that done. Yeah. Yeah. And meeting, gig, swimming with the kids, get that done, get that done. And it's too much. Well, what I've got to do is. Chest it down.

Find the space. Take it on the chest, put my foot on the ball, look for the pass. And in each moment that I feel like I'm stressing when I order it, I've got to go, no, no, no, no, you peel. It's the World Cup. It is high pressure, but don't worry, take it on the chest, put your foot on the ball, look for a pass. And then I'll be able to enjoy each moment as opposed to just getting it away, getting it away. So that's my new approach.

Okay. Have I got mental? Does that make sense? I think that's a good approach, but I think you need to also practically try and stop this feast or famine thing. Yes, I think it's a problem. Because it means that when you're in the famine, or I can't work out of which, when you're in the work, you just want to be out of the work. Let's not call my work a famine.

No, no, no, I meant that a famine was the holiday here. Yeah. You've got too much. Feast is too much, so there's too much work, and then there's no work. Either way. Okay, yeah, either way, yep. When you're in the work, you're wishing it away. Yes.

You haven't got a good work-life balance because you're basically like someone who works on a rig who goes and just lives on a rig and then comes off. But that means you're not experiencing that. and then it means that it's better to balance it over the year, really. Yeah, definitely. That's a very difficult thing to do, I understand, in our job. But it's difficult, isn't it? Because, like, I don't know.

It feels very difficult because you have to take things, right? Yeah. But anyway, that's my new approach. And that's the plan so that I can enjoy the things I'm doing rather than trying to get to the end of it. Because then, you know, is it a game of football? You want to enjoy it? and make the passes, score the goals.

You don't just want to keep booting it out on the other end so you don't concede, do you know what I mean? No, exactly. And I think me and you have a very different relationship with our work. We both love it in a different way. So I love the stand-down. I love being on stage doing live stand-up shows more than anything. If you could teleport me.

You said you don't, you're not like thrilled by the excitement of a new project. Do you know what I mean? Whereas that's what I really enjoy. Do you know what I mean? So I find this very relaxing what we're doing now. Me too. I enjoy this. And I enjoy stand-up.

I don't enjoy the travel. What I mean is you like to do stand-up or you like to do the things you do and you'd happily just do stand-up, right? Probably. Whereas for some reason, I'm always like, what's the new? What's the next thing I can do?

And that's what I get the excitement off. And that is equally dangerous. Yes. If you said to me this year, you're doing parenting hell, last leg, and stand-up, right? I'd go, I've got to do something else. I can't just do those because I've done them already. Do you know what I mean?

Really? Yeah. So I'm always trying to come up with new things to do because otherwise I feel quite stale. Yeah, but I think you can create new things within the thing you're doing. Yeah, totally. But that's just how I feel. Do you know what I mean?

I feel like I want to be doing new things to test myself. I don't, it's not to test. To be fair, though, I get that. in I get that outlet in Robin Ramesh because each year I'm doing something mental and new and different in each episode. Yeah.

Where certain those things you've listed there with like last leg and this is fairly, you know, it's only ever going to be me and you chatting. It's only going to be you, Alex and Adam on the show where I'm fucking skiing with Eddie the Eagle. Yeah. But also it's just different.

It's just different people. Like I think I do too much new things. Do you? Well, no. I was rapping in New York. No, but that's just Robin Rommish. But like I get... No, no, no.

But that's the job. You can't not do new things on Robin Rommish. I know that's what I'm saying, but I said, I have enough new in my year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally. Like, I have massive new challenges every week on that show. Well, after you do six of them,

you're like, fucking hell. I did Shakespeare in the Globe last year. If you didn't do Robin Rommish, do you think you'd be going, okay, what should I do? you. Yeah, I think there would be more hunger for different challenges and different ideas, but I find having to like, you know, learn Shakespeare and do the globe, being a Bollywood film, skiing, that for me, that scratches that itch of like, I've challenged myself this year.

I don't even know if it's challenged. It's just a really weird thing. It's just a, I think it's that in this job, you just get really, you can't believe you get to do all these things so you do them, right? It's like the thing you wanted to do, you get to do. So why wouldn't you do them? I don't think I ever wanted to go skiing with Eddie the Eagle. It was a great day. Don't get me wrong. No, but you did want to, no, but you're not going skiing with Eddie the Eagle. You'll make a TV show. So I love going abroad to do stand-up, like flying somewhere to go and do your show in another country for me is the most ultimate buzz. I can't believe I sell tickets in the UK, never mind being able to go to like Australia or Ireland or Dubai.

I can't believe. I love it. I doesn't even register. How are we, mates? But that's why it works, right? Everyone's really different. Like, I just couldn't. I just, it just doesn't, like, I'm happy to go and do my show and I'll enjoy it. But I really enjoy doing my tours.

Like, that's really fun. But if you said to me, you can never gig abroad again, I'd go, I'd go, so? If I could tell a Paul, if I could only do one job, If I could teleport, I'd pick, stand up and do it every day for about 40 minutes. If I could only do one job, I'd go insane. As opposed to this calm, placid man I've seen before me, with his sweaty gusset, his decaf, he's fasting, is no alcohol. I know, because I have to, but these are the things I'm doing to keep myself on the level of sane, Rob.

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but all you did was interview celebs and write an article twice a week? I'd fucking hate it. I have to be doing new stuff. It's like a disease. But it doesn't suit your personality almost, though. You imagine, people imagine you as a home of a tea and being cozy, but you're the one who's really like, let's do this, you know. But yeah, I've just got to, oh my God, I haven't even told you about the,

disaster I had at the radio two are drinks. Tell us this and then we'll wrap up for this week. We'll do a quick small business. Because that made me think, because I'm covering for Lisa Tarbuck on Saturday. And I was like, I've got to do that. Because that's my favourite radio show ever. I've got to do this.

I've got to London again. I've got to test myself. It's not even test myself. I don't know what it is. It's like in the Met Office in the city of Exeter. I should say that. Do you need a weather person? There must be some sort of BBC thing.

where they need some coverage in Devon and you could do it from Devon rather than to come into London. They need to do the regions. That's what I'm saying. Anyway. You could be a Devon guy. Sorry, yeah.

I'm going to be the Devon guy. Well, maybe they'll do Radio 2 in the park from the park near me. I doubt it. Anyway, I went to the radio to presenters' drinks on Tuesday night, right? Do people know what they see? They meet up every few months?

Yearly. Is it once a year? There's an annual. It's a annual. It's like a star, it's like the staff party, right? Yeah, every January they'll meet up for a drinking town. For drinking town, I was doing parenting hell in the day. Perfect.

Went for dinner with Joel Domit. Right. Lovely evening. Then I was like, go to that. It starts at 7. My train is at 904. This is fine. Yeah.

I'll be there till 815. See everyone. Go. Absolutely perfect. Get there. nail it. So then I'm like, right, better hit the road. At that point, the speech by the control of Radio 2, Helen Thomas begins.

Yes, the big boss. Yeah. And that's the main reason for the meetup, really. I didn't know. I didn't know. Yeah, so what they do is it's almost like a drinks meet up. And then she presents what's the plan for the year, what happened last year. And it's quite an important part of the evening.

And I tell you where she stands. There's a bar area. Yeah. And then there's, with everyone in it, and then there's a kind of doorway with her stood in it. You're such a sitcom character in real life. It was mental. And then there's an exit behind her.

Yeah. And I'm like, this can't be fucking happening. What time does she start? 20 past 8. So you're already five minutes late. My train's at 904. You've missing that train. It's the penultimate train.

The last train would get into exit at 3.30 a.m. So I'm not going to. No, really. What times it leave London? I think it must be the sleeper. I think it must be like the sleeper that you can get off at Exeter. She starts in the speech. I swear you're doing more work in London than you did when you lived in London.

No, because you don't notice it. I was with you. Yeah, I was only up for a day with you. I was up in the morning, back on the 904. Up in the morning, back in the next morning. Yeah, exactly. Up on the 904, back on the 3.30am. She's knocking through the stats, Rob.

Yeah. biggest single radio station in the UK. Tony Blackburn sounds of the 60s is the biggest music show on BBC sounds. Ramesh is the biggest show at weekends on radio, etc.

Yes. So many Q cards, Rob. And I'm the only one thinking I can see, I'm, you know, these are good stats. This is a successful place.

Don't get me wrong. But I can see how many Q cards there are. And then it's like, I'm like, well, there can't be many more stats. And then it's like, these are the plans for next year. Oh, so you know, it's another whole session of next year, not just last year. Month by month as well.

So you can really. Yeah. Really truck and track. January was two minutes. So is it going to be two minutes? I'm thinking, surely it'll peter out because they won't have the plans for the full year. They've got the plans for the first six months, hopefully. But no, Rob, there's plans for Christmas.

Do you know what I mean? There's full plans. and then what's that setting up behind her while she's doing this talk it's the fucking presenter's photo you've got to be kidding me the presenter's photo that you're not actually in the presenter's photo that I'm fucking blocked out by Michael Ball

Michael Ball's hair so I'm stood at the back of that presenter's photo also it looks like because all you can see is your glasses and your hair it looks like Michael Balls put his glasses on the top of his head and there's just his glasses in more hair But it's your head. It's my head.

So I stayed for that. Why did you creep up behind Michael Ball and stand there then? Because I was at the back because I had my suitcase with me. But you can't take Ball from behind like that. You can't, you're too big. He's much taller than you. You've got to get right in front of Ball. You've got to get me.

Well, you should have bent over in front of Michael Ball. I was. I was. Ball to Ball. I was Bull to Ball. I was behind Ball. Sweat-I-Gus it? Was that a different day?

No, it was different day. Sweaty goes to say it wasn't there. I swear he gets it's on one extra. But Michael Ball, I thought I could see the camera. You know the rule? If you can see the camera, if you can't see the camera, the camera can't see you. Yes.

I could see the camera because my eyes could see the camera, but my nose and my mouth couldn't see the camera, but how am I to know? So I stayed with a photo as well, because this is who I am, Rob. You would have walked straight out during the speech, wouldn't you? I made a lovely joke, and everyone would have loved you for it.

Meanwhile, I was sweaty. I did have a sweaty gusset. I was dripping sweat during the speech. So what time is the phone? Why is Josh sweating during the stats speech? I left at, it was across the road from Kingscrest Station.

I left at 20, no, 18 minutes to 9. Oh, okay. And he's quite, what time is the train? Four minutes past. night. Oh my God. I did something. I was ashamed of this.

I ran across Rob. You know the cab rank outside Kingscross Station. Yeah. Jump the queue. I said, I'm begging you. I've got to get to Paddington for a last weekend. Here he comes. No buffer bill.

Begging you to the queue. Please let me just jump the gun on his own without liver. So you beg the queue? I begged the queue that I could go first and they let me through. Because I was running, holding a wheelie suitcase. It must have looked like I was panic. It wasn't a trick. No one does that.

Yeah, I don't, yeah, I think you could act. You can't act as well as you can panic. I can't act. And so, and so I got in the taxi and I made it. I did make it just in time. Oh, that is stressful. I didn't think you make to Palnington from Kings Cross that. It's 10 minutes in a cab.

Oh, right. Yes. They can just bomb up the bus plane. But that is a stressful watch of a presentation, And I felt awful. Because people were joining in and heckling in a fun way. And I was like, fucking hell. Oh, doing banter as I watched the present day.

Tony Blackburn's having a round of applause. Fucking hell. That's another 10 seconds gone. So she's like, then we've got Radio 4 in the park in September. And Vernon's like, where is it going to be? She's like, I can't tell you. And I'm like, shut up, Vernon. I need to go.

I haven't got time for banter. Yeah, but for them, they're not trying to get the 904 for X. Of course they're not, Rob, because they're not insane. Right. Small business. What would you have done in that situation? I think I would have done what you did if I knew that it was only 10 minutes, but I've, it's difficult because I don't, you know, it's, I've never,

I would have just suffered it and then just got a cab home, but you can't do that. You know what I mean? It's hard to know when you don't live that far away. it is, if you miss that, you are. Would you have walked through the speech? I might have gone. I would have waited, when it got to Joe, I go, I would have said, sorry, everyone,

my train's at nine, love you lots. Have a brilliant year. I'll see next year, blah, blah, blah, and just sort of waves and then maybe done a joke about Vernon, make sure you find out where it, where the party is in the park. And then they'll all go, oh, yeah, where's it going to be? Or I'll say something like, if you, or as a way out, I'll go, I've got to get my train to X time. I'm so sorry.

However, if you don't need to stop her next time, Helen, you know where to put Radio to in the park. Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's good. Or whatever. Oh, fucking out. Where were you? Hello, all.

I'm a single mom to an 18-month-old little boy. I listen to your podcast, Wallace. I'm driving around all day picking up dogs in my van. Hopefully she's a dog walker, not a thief. To help support me and my boy, I was hoping you'd consider giving me a small business shout out, as it could really help boost my visibility in what is now a crowded market. Here we go. I run a dog walking daycare and home boarding business.

Nice. In Dronfield, Darbyshire. Dronfield, Darbyshire, called Lizzie Leeds Dog Walkin, Dronfield. We are fully licensed with the local council and insured and taken on new clients in the area. Thank you so much. Love in the podcast, keep it sexy relatable. Lizzie Russell, 385 months. Great.

She's going to be no other information for Lizzie's. You do the next one. I'll find out where you can get in touch with what Lizzie leads. Oh, yeah. saying she wants to go and see Tom Allen in Titanic? Titanic. Here we go. So Lizzie Leads dog, yeah, so there's a website.

So just, it's a long website. I can see why she's not. Just Lizzie Leads Dog Walking Drumfield. It's on Facebook and it's a website as well. Get him in touch. Dear Rob, Josh, Michael, thanks for the pod. We love it in our house and I've been listening since COVID when my wife was pregnant with our son, Rufus.

My wife also loves the pod and so we'll be excited to hear Hello. A small business shout out, is it you, for a small business, London speech therapy. Doesn't sound very small. They provide invaluable support to children through working in schools and working privately with families across London. They also work with adults who have stammer's voice issues, speech sound difficulties or language and communication differences due to their neurodivergence. They see clients face to face and also online if anyone isn't based in London. Perish the thought. My wife, Emily and her friend straight business partner, May Reid. I've been working tirelessly to make this business

success and would really appreciate the shout-out. Thanks, Charlie and Emily, Rufus and Brianie. We'll be back on Friday with a guest. See them, mate. Bye. Hi. Hello, parenting hell listeners. Recognise that voice? Yes, it's Josh Riddickham here. I have got a new podcast,

Josh Whitickam's Museum of Pop Culture. And I'm going to say it. I'm about 85% sure you're going to love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me, and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics or politics. I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast.

I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics. see above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that realized Millie Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth the first. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr. Blobby. When Ghost Watch convinced BBC viewers, ghosts were real, when a band burned a million pounds for a laugh. The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from You Too, and David Hasselhoff, Baywatch, and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are real, by the way. Either you know what these things are and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realised you wanted to, or you don't, and you're about to be introduced to some of

the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiff next will learn, lose next will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday, perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcast now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whitakum, available everywhere from the 1st of January. Thank you.