Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S13 EP1: Hotdogs for Breakfast

Episode Date: July 21, 2026

We are back!! After a short break for the summer holiday we're ready for more adventures in life and parenting. Josh gets into a dispute on the plane, and Rob almost gets stranded on holiday trying to watch the football... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Parenting Hell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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For children aged 6 to 15, parent or guardian account needed first. UK residents only, T's and Cs apply. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... You've got to be kidding me. I'd say Josh, this is peak, Josh. Wittaker disorganization today. Skin looks good, though.

Can you say Rob Beckett? Oh, Wreckon. What about Josh Wittickham? Josh Witton. Are they stateside? Do they say your name in a good way? Yeah, and I like the parents taking it in turns.

This is Mo. That's a cool name. Like Mo, like Mo Mo Lohlin. Like, Moe Slater. Mo Slater or Mo. Big Mo Lowe. Carball, Mo. So we are big fans of the pod,

got into the show around when he was born, though not exactly sure when, since that time was a bit of a blur. We're not British in any way. Love it. No connection. Do you want to know what they found us through? Taskmaster, our Gateway Drunk to British Comedy.

Last one laughing. Moe has started repeating everything we say, which let me snag this recording. Unfortunately, it also led to him shouting free ball over and over when we had set him down without a diaper the other day. What's free ball? Is that one of the ones we've said?

What the fuck's a diaper as well. Oh, yeah. I'm so British. I don't even know what that means. Stay sex and relatable. Becca, 404 months, Brian, 406 months. Two things here. Americans say your name with respect.

When people say your name in this country, it's sort of like a whiddy come. Wedy come. It's a bit flimsy whimsy. But it's a wood a wood a wooder. It was quite strong. Too right. Too right, Rob.

Taskmaster. I was, we came back from Crete, went to Crete on holiday. And at Hania Airport that I called Chanier Airport for a year up until I got to Hania Airport. They do a thing where classic, classic summer holiday, small airport vibes. You sit in an air-conditioned airport until they board you for the plane and then make you stand outside in 32 degrees behind the cordoned off area before the bus comes. So everyone's blood red, hot and angry. from being quite chilled out. Anyway, as we're waiting, a guy comes over.

When anyone in a high-vis speaks to at an airport, I'm stressed. I think I've done something wrong. Yeah. I'm not getting on the plane. A little Greek fella, light me off taskmaster. Oh, here we go. Here we go. A Greek dude.

Well, do you know what? Calispera. Calispera, indeed. Calimera. Calimera. Galispera. We almost didn't get allowed back on the plane on the way back from Greece. Why?

Because, totally fine on the way out there, totally fine on the plane out there. But then they called my daughter on having a cast on her arm. Oh, because I texted you about this. People got in contact and said. They said it was unsafe. I don't know what they meant by that. They said, well, I'll have to speak to the captain. The pilot?

The pilot, yeah. Captain, yeah. And then everyone walks up. Why is he making the call? Surely that, or she? It's his plane. Her or her? No, it was his.

It was a he though. It was a he, yeah. Thank goodness. Sorry? I was pretending to just be happy that it was a male pilot. I don't really care to me. Yeah, no, you don't really do it. So they had to get the captain,

but we had to stand by, you know the desk where they have one final look at your passport, or your boarding pass or whatever it is. I never know which one's which. which desks before you get on the weird bus in the airport to get onto the plane, we had to stand there while everyone went past us thinking we're not going to make it on it. Rose was livid. And then the plane were like, they couldn't care less. They couldn't have cared less.

Yeah, it's weird the car, so I don't know what they think is going to happen. Because obviously she made it out there with it. Sorry, it's kicking off. The boilers broke. The boilers, I think that's the plumber. The boiler's not working. Oh, no. So no, the boiler went off and we come back a holiday,

and then there was no pressure again today. What's it live with no central heating at the moment, Robert? It's more the hot water we're missing than the radiators. Anyway, so I found the thing you turn, obviously, to get the pressure up, basic level, big boy stuff, or girl. Yeah. And anyway, as I turned it on, the pressure went up, and then the boiler started pissing out water.

Oh, no. It's not a good, that's not good. look, is it? No. So do you mind if I quickly tell the plumber what's going on? What does he not know? Or she? Or she?

Or she? No, but I don't think, I need to show him where it's coming from. Quickly, I'll be two minutes. Do you don't trust Lou to do it? I think quick, Rob. I was there when it first started leaking, so it's probably best of first person that saw it to feed back the information. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because those things are changeable, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. One sec. Thanks, guys. I'm back. I'm back. You don't get this on Netflix on the rest of this football? It was,

Lou did do a great job, actually. Oh, yeah? So you didn't need to be there. Just went there quick mansplain back in the room. Yeah, good work. Was it a man? Yeah, it was man yet? Yeah.

Every time. We've never, never met a female plumber, and that's more to my, that's more my problem. We've had a few more plumber recently. Aren't you? I'm sorry I'm not as great as you. No, I'm not saying we're great. Just saying that, you know, Devin's quite progressive.

Oh, do you want to know another thing? Devon's quite progressive. I'll tell you what, let's visit a couple of villages and we'll look at the sort of knitted toys they've got in a lot of the windows. We'll see how progressive it is, shall we? Yeah. So, this is another thing. Another two fingers up to London, Rob.

We've not spoke for ages, by the way. let's set the scene. We had a couple of weeks off because Michael's at the World Cup. I had a holiday. You had a holiday. So we're back after the best of reps. Now that's what I call bloody chat. Yeah, this won't be making the best of a bet,

but I do need to say it, Rob. I got my car insurance premium through. Yeah. I've never seen something like it, Rob. The camera keeps pulsating as you move back and forward. Are you seeing that, Michael? I thought I was having out-of-body experience. It's sort of like, can't get you.

He knows I'm about to drop a bomb about car insurance premiums. It's zooming in Yeah It's self-ended His AI Go on Let's hear it Sorry go on

What do you want to say About your car insurance So you know you get the letter through It says last year it was this This year is this And it's always like gone up 50 quid or whatever You're like fine that is what it is right Last year

One thousand one hundred Yeah I think that's You know It's what it is It's just what it is yet This year 600 quid

Huh Yeah Yeah Too bloody right mate. Why do you think? What's changed? You're hosting Strictly now so they know you're at absolute square. You're not out on rock.

You're not a rock and roll road dog comic anymore. They know I'm dancing everywhere. So I have, he can't, he won't crash a car. He's too quick-footed. No, Rob, I'm not paying a London premium anymore. It just keeps paying out. It just keeps paying out. That's the Devon Post Code.

I've more or less covered my stamp duty. It's unbelievable. Okay, so the benefits just keep coming. This should be a good little feature. Unexpected, unexpected benefits and unexpected negatives of a move. That'll be good. And we can represent all different parts of the country. Yeah.

I've moved to Newcastle. Don't have to spend money on coats anymore. Stuff like that. Exactly. Exactly. They hate that. The jewellies, by the way. Do that.

It's booed if you do coat jokes. Does it? Yeah, because it is true, and they don't like the fact it's true. Right. So it's almost like, it's sort of like you're having a joke at them, but they're like a bit defensive about it because it's sort of like, it's quite funny that only they don't go out of coats on. And the super rich, the super rich don't go out with coats on?

Don't they? No, because they never walk anywhere. Oh, they're always getting out of cars. They're never, they never have coats. Okay. This is good to know. Yeah, yeah. So Alan Shearer basically is topless all the time, super rich And a Jordan.

Exactly, exactly. And then Deck must just float through worlds and shackets on. That Newcastle fan that was the big naked Geordie guy, the topless Jordy. Anne and Deck don't wear coats. You'd lose deck. He's just a shacket guy. Shackett, well, and trousers, I'd take. Do you know what I love now?

Adder Decker doing a podcast. They have to take their little laptop on holiday with him like us. Do they? Yeah. comes to us all guys it comes to us all you're all be trying to get an adapter into a Greek plug socket at some point and well should we tell people what my morning

what happened why our recording was delayed rob well because you turn up to the hotel this hotel that you're booking just because it's got an amazing light source and you look about 10 years younger and everyone wants to fuck you it's mental all that clips I do worry it looks like to the reception every I haven't yet because Michael books my room

so I never know what name it's under which is a bit which is always a bit complicated and then they're like that all I have yet to this is a different room at different hotel but either of them sorry can I stop

I think your T-shirt's too stripy and it's affecting the camera which I want to zoom in and out of you maybe do it's helpless I'm not going to do it topless I'm just saying remember this is a visualised now as well but don't you think Michael that the do you think it's the stripes

that are in calls in this zoom in and zoom out. It's his movement. So if Josh moves closer, it's all trying to auto focus. What's his new auto? What's happened to this guy, Michael? He's got new skin, a new room, and now this special, he's got his own camera crew. Yeah, he's like a sort of classical Hollywood starlet. He insists to put Vaseline on the camera before we shoot. Yeah, what's the biggest he's done for me? He's done loads for Josh. Look at him. He's a new man. So, sorry. Yeah, they always, it's so weird because I'm booking in a hotel room for two hours use in the afternoon. It always looks like I'm shagging.

I like the idea. I might book you into a different hotel every time, so it spreads around for the whole of Exeter. Every hotel receptionist is like, yeah, he came to my hotel for a few hours as well. I've got a reservation for Sir Boncalot. Because the other problem with it is, I don't know whether I could say I'm working because I don't know whether that's a missed. I want to say, oh yeah, I'm using, because I'm recording a podcast,

but I don't know if that's a misuse of the room for business. Do you know what I mean? Oh yeah, but what's going to happen? You're going to get imprisoned? No, but they'll go, oh, sorry, sir. We can't. You can't do that because you're using it for a podcast. So I kind of, I'm evasive as to why I'm booking the room for a few hours in the afternoon.

But you can't book it for hours, can you, Michael? Yeah, there's like day use hotel. Oh, and how did you find out about that? Recording a podcast. Okay. Oh, because you're still getting work. down on your house so it's too loud and there's builders and the kitchen should be done because some of us when we've got work some of us when we've got workmen in the house or women

yeah we've recorded a hotel we don't just like take a break to go and chat to them about the boiler even though our wife could probably do that for us fair enough just trying to just try and do my best um but i'm quite far from a hotel actually i'm not in the big smoke like you no I know, I know. What's your car insurance, Rob? What's a premium? What did I tell you what happened? Did I tell you what happened with a bus?

Oh no. Oh no. Hello, you're all right? What do you need? I want to get something. What do you want to get? Anything that's good. My daughter's just in here trying to get something from the cupboard.

Well, I'm trying to do a podcast. Sorry about that. I'm trying to work in summer holidays here at the Beckett House. Yeah. See it a bit. Summer holidays, man. summer holidays. It's insane.

Trying to get stuff done. Lou's working as well. So she's on a deadline. So she's working quite a lot. And then I'm working quite a lot. And then also I want to play golf. Yeah, I think the third one might be the problem. Is that someone hoovering?

Can you hear that? This is bad. No. This is bad. Who's hoovering? You're plumber. See what's funny about Lou? Lou is...

If Lou's hovering, that's... Lou's one of the biggest... I tell you what that is. That's the actions of someone on a writing deadline is hoovering. That's an absolute. So we've been inventing jobs for the kids to do over, because they want money to buy stuff, right? So we said, well, they're 10 and 8 now.

So do stuff, like dishwasher. So we've got a list of all jobs they can do for money. So basically what that means is nothing gets done properly. More mess is made. I have to clear up after the mess and then redo the job properly, and it's costing me more money. I think there might be a child up there pretending to Hoover for two quid. Let me just going to tell them to stop.

if it's Lou, that's an insane time of, it's a good way to do it though, get them to do the jobs for two quid. Hi, guys. Hello. What happened? Charles Hoovering for two quid. I think that's a better outcome,

because if it was Lou, that would be like, you know. No, so listen, so far, Lou is the biggest procrastinator I know, okay? And she basically will just write, with a deadline, she just does it right at the end. She can't do it in advance. she's supposed to be writing today.

I'm clearing out the garage, right, this morning, clearing out of the garage, sorting it out, and then we've got one of the kids to shred bank statements for cash, for two quid. Anyway, so I'm out of the garage. I come back in, I'm like, bloody hell, they've really gone for it. They've been out there for ages.

I'm walking, Lou's doing it. I was like, Luke, this is not a good use of your time. You're just an hour of shredding. I was like, oh, no, but it's so cathartic. Anyway, so, yeah, we're knee-deep. in the summer holidays. Is her deadline during the summer holidays, or is this going to be your summer?

No, no, it's after. It's after. So there's no, she's not stressed about it yet. And she works better when she's a bit stressed about it, I think. Right, right. This episode is brought to you by Sainsbury's. Sainsbury's customers can save over £450 a year with the Necta app.

Sounds like a great deal to me, Rob. Do you know what my favourite thing in the supermarket is? You know, sometimes I get overwhelmed by the deals, because it seems like there's a lot of deals. If you look at the supermarket, there's deals, right? But there's that thing, like, if you're buying, like, washing tablets, there's a thing on the little label where it says, like, that's the price per, like, 100 grams or per tabs.

So you can work out which one is the best deal. Yes. Do you know what I'm talking about? I know exactly what you deal. That is a good deal. Yeah. Do you know what I used to do, Rob, as a student, I used to be obsessed with obviously saving money.

Yeah. I took the smallest room in our house and I negotiated. that I would only pay £32 a week for that room, Rob. And how much was everyone else paying? 56. I couldn't have doors on my wardrobe because there wasn't spaced open them, so I just had the innards of a wardrobe. Just the innards of a wardrobe, yeah.

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to an expansive panoramic moonroof and a stunning ultra-wide 30-inch diagonal screen. Don't miss Buick's employee pricing for you event. Visit buick.ca for more details. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. So we come back from holiday, I had no food. So I looked in the freezer, and I got out some hot dog buns and sausages for the frosted them because we had no food for breakfast.

In the morning, we had hot dogs. Well, that's what I'm saying? We had hot dogs at breakfast. Right. Feels mental. Feels like what the hell you do. It does feel a lot. But then you would have, you would have bread.

and you would have sausage. I mean, it's a sausage sandwich and a tube, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Hot dogs for breakfast seems insane. Did you have ketchup? Yeah, I had mustard. You have mustard? That's a bit weird for the morning, isn't it?

Whoa, do you know what? I'm sure. Jamie Oliver always has chili on his breakfast because it gives him a boost. A boost in the morning? Like, because chili does something to you, like it sets, you know, it gets your adrenaline going or whatever like that.

Do you know what I mean? So you might have got the same thing off the mustard. Yeah, I was buzzing. I felt really. good, good start to the day. Quick hot dog at the door. Yeah. Quick hot dog at the door up to Manchester. That was my morning. What? Are you in Manchester? No, you're not in Manchester. No. That was Saturday. Oh, right. I was going to say, what the fuck's going on?

I was in Manchester. I got back on Friday, went up to Manchester to do eight out of ten cats as countdown, come back down, got in at 4 a.m., then drove to my mum's birthday meal down in sandwich. Are you all right with, you had a sandwich? No, no, it was in sandwich. Oh, right. Sorry. This sounds like a... It was a lovely afternoon, but the set-up of where we had lunch

sounds like something from like a Phoenix Knights or sitcom. So we went for lunch at the cafe of a wakeboarding centre and inflatable water obstacle course with an Ed Shearing Tribute Act. Incredible. But sorry, but you weren't doing wakeboarding or inflatable thing.

You just wanted to use the cafe? Yes. It's for my mom and dad's birthday meal and there was like 15 death kits there. And if they got a connection to sandwich? They live 10 minutes away, about 10, 50 minutes away. So that's why they went there. And it was nice food.

It was a nice vibe. But it's on paper, it's a mad cell. You know what I mean? Was the Ed Shear and Tribute Act there for your mum? No, he was there just, or she. It was, no. Of course. I don't think he was just Ed Shearer

I think he did a lot of Ed Shearer he did other covers as well Did he look like him? No no he wasn't it was more doing covers And a lot of them were Ed Shearer As opposed to you know Bad clothes terrible hair Smiley Face

Yeah yeah of course Of course So he was he was singing But he was there anyway at the weekend I think Right right He's just a real experience where like Ed Shearin's on

And he's really good distribute actually. It sounds a lot like him. And then there's a guy like doing 360s on the wakeboard track and you're like tucking into some. What's a wakeboard? So wakeball's like a tiny surfboard that you clamp your feet in like a snowboard. And then you normally hold on to the back of like, it's a bit like water skiing. Yeah. But like it's on one plank, as it were.

But this sensor is like you're on it. You hold onto a bit of rope that goes around in a circle like. a track, if you know what I mean? So imagine a massive lake. So you're moving anywhere? Yeah, you hold on to this thing and it goes around this big loop track that I could track around the pond and you hold onto that and then there you could do jump. What's it attached to?

Like that's above your head is like almost like a. Oh, right. Almost like a zip wire. Yeah, it's like a steel it. Yeah, it goes around in a big circle of the sort of the edge of the pond. Did you want to have a go? Well, no. You can have a.

a go but that weightboarding one's quite an intense thing but the inflatable calls we could have done with the kids but it wasn't it was only about 22 degrees and we were there for lunch so castle on the hill well exactly and i don't want to do the inflatable calls after having nachos but then before we'd just be soaking wet eating nachos you can't enjoy go go away girl if you say exactly they've done all of them actually yeah it's actually really good they're the ones like it it's really good it's really good tribute at i just wasn't expecting it at a wakeballing centre for my mum and birthday. Of course. Of course. How old's your mum? My mum was 72. My dad was 82. Oh, happy birthday. My mother, my sister, my auntie, Tina, were on shots at three in the

afternoon, doing shots of baby Guinness. Fucking hell. What's baby Guinness? Sorry, I don't know any of these things. I'm unaware of everything that you told me. What's a nat show? I bet you don't like that shows. It's a bit messy for you. I do like nachos. No, I do like nachos. No, no, you don't like nat shows. You like tortillas. crisps next to a pot of sosa. No, actually, no. I like it.

You like it all big and messy? I love melted cheese. Do you? Yes, one of the reasons I love pizza. One of the big two reasons I love pizza, the other ones are done. What's the other one? The other one's on tomato? It does a job.

I don't like, in the sense that I will stay away from the area of the menu that's those white pizzas. So you wouldn't get involved in the white pizza? I always like the look. No, it's just cheese and toast. really, isn't it? I feel like you're being ripped off. Bake a bake, um, barbecue sauce instead of tomato sauce, whichever? No, I don't, I don't want to mess with the classics. Yeah, fair enough.

Most popular dish in the world, pizza, surely, pizza or fries? Yeah, I think so. We went to a restaurant on Friday, Rob. Yeah. And there was, I've never been caught in this situation before because I'd always go pizza normally, if it's an option. Well, what, always, wherever you are. If pizza's an option, I will always, I will always, I will always take it. Really? Yeah. I'd never go past that.

I think you're insane to go past or feet as an option. Have I told my burger rule? No. Burgers, I think, can vary so wildly. It's got me into a bit of a corner. I'll never eat a burger I've never eaten before. Oh, here you go.

So I have to have had it once before, but then I can't find new burgers. So you're stuck now? You're stuck now. I'd have to have a really strong personal recommendation to order a burger somewhere. So what is in and out? Is there any biggies that you've never eaten that are causing problems?

So Patty and Bun I've had, which I don't know if they're still going, but that was a good one. Never had a bleaker burger. It feels like that they're a popular one that I've never really dabbled with. You've never had a bleaker burger? Is that a bleaker burger? Is that Bleaker burger? Like Bleaker Street.

But if it's a shop that just does burgers, I could be swayed because I'm like, well, they must know what they're doing. Whereas if I'm in like a random pub, I'm going to know any of that burger. I've seen it arrive and I've watched someone eat it and I've spoken to them directly. Yeah. Do you know, I was once in a pub in Camden and I ordered a jacket potato. And the guy behind the bar said, I don't think we do food.

And I said, I've got the menu here. And then 15 minutes later, he came out of the kitchen. he'd made the jack of potato. And I was like, it's mental. This guy didn't even think there was a kitchen 15 minutes ago. Now he's someone making my jack of potato.

How rarely does this happen? Well, I actually had a jagged potato at the wakeboarding center. I love jack of potato. Well, jack of potato was on there. I didn't want a whole jack of potato. I wanted some nachos. So me and Lou said,

why do we get a tuna and cheese jacketop and nachos? And we'll share. Yeah? It's quite a couple. It seems to why it still works. guess what came out in my order of jacket potato? What do you mean?

So tell me what was on my plate. I ordered jacket potato, tuna and... A potato. Yeah. A potato. Some tuna. Yeah. Some cheese.

Yeah. And then three pieces of cucumber and two pieces of lettuce and half a tomato. Yeah, pretty much that. But one thing you're missing was another whole potato with tuna and cheese. What do you mean? So you've got two jacket potatoes? If you order jacket potato off the menu, you get two jacket potatoes. You can't deal with that.

You can't expect it. I think you've got a sack. That's a sharing platter. Had they heard your conversation with Lou and they'd gone, do you know what? We sneak in an extra jacket potato. It was massive. The portions. No, because everyone else had jacket potatoes, got two jacket potatoes.

The portions are men's awesome. And how big of the potatoes? Usually size? Well, my dad was going, do you reckon they just really, really work up an appetite, weight balling? It can't be I've never done enough exercise to go I do you know I need two

two jacked potatoes now And they were massive They were like proper like Big as a coconut And was the filling Was the filling ratio good? Massive I can eat it

So it wasn't so you had a filling for two as well Yeah Yeah what like filling for two on either On both of them Yeah bloody out Anyway

I just I've never ordered a jack of potato And got two jack of potatoes before No I reckon or again. Will you go back there? Well, it was a four-hour round trip, so probably not. Like, that's no offence to anything or anyone involved. It's a long way for two jack-a-potato.

I'd rather stay nearby and have one. Of course. Or just order two. Yeah, and share it. You didn't even need that. You were any, Rob? I don't think anyone would say, you know, that would be two ghosts of you to order two jack-a-pottoes. No, but I think even before I was earning, Jack of Potatoes were never really a sort of, you know,

a goal food for me. No, no. I think I've always been very privileged enough to be able to afford a Jacket Potato. I'm always been in that realm. Quality of jacket will obviously vary, but I'd say at a bog standard level, I could always afford a Jacket Potato at certain points in my life,

especially back in the, you know, teens, 20 teens. Tell you where they don't like a jacket, Rob, Newcastle. Go on. Yeah, there we go. Here we go. Why I boarding? Oh, Rob, I've got to tell you about someone got angry with me. I thought you'd enjoy this.

Oh, and I like it. You don't get angry back, do you? Not really, no. So it was on the plane back from Holiday in Greece. Yeah. I went up to the toilet at the front. Yeah. And there was a queue.

there was a queue, right? And then, you know, the front seats, there was someone on the window seat, and then there was two empty seats, right? So I perched on the arm of the end, end, the empty seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I looked down and my shoe was undone. Yeah.

So I put it up on the corner of that seat, put the plastic corner on the fiber suit. on the seat. Yeah, and then, fine, I made a mistake. The woman said, excuse me, that's my husband's chair. I said, fine, put it down. Right, okay, the woman that was sat down at the end. Yeah. Yeah. So she's having a go. You've said, you've said sorry. You've had hands up, apologize. She doesn't accept the apology. In what regard. Can you, can you, can you say what she said? She tries to continue the telling off. I'll be you. I'll be you. I'll be you. I'll be her. Excuse me. That's my husband's seat. Oh, sorry about that. I'll take my phone.

off. Because the thing is, if you're going to put your feet on the sea, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh, yeah. Yeah, sorry, but she just carried on explaining. So I just kind of turned and queued up. Then the guy comes out, the guy comes out.

What you were about how big is? If I was to give you his build, who's the guy, who's the guy that cheated on Lily Allen? That kind of build. Oh, big old, big guy, big strong guy then. Yeah, we got you. But yeah, but not in the way where you go. He works out in the way where you go.

He's big and everywhere. And in. So I'm queuing up to go in. He waxed me in the back, like goes past me. Like, he goes sit down and then he does, you know, like Richard Ashcroft in the Urban Hymns kind of. He walks back towards the toilet. Yeah, like a footballer off the ball. No, like an Argentinian defensive midfielder.

Yeah. And then he goes past me and he goes, did you put your foot on my seat? Oh, so he barges into you, and to get in front of you? Yeah, to get some napkins to wipe down the seat. How old is twat? I've got a photo of him, actually. Brilliant. Send it now.

Send it down and I want to look at him as I'm ripping apart, because this bloke's a fucking... It gets worse, Rob. And then the... So what did you say? What did you say? I said, I'm sorry. You know, you're just like, I said sorry.

You know, it's all I can do. he won't accept he sits down with his napkins the air steward obviously has to go over and check he's all right oh absolutely yeah yeah and then the air steward comes back and he's like God there's one on every flight isn't there

and like confides in me I obviously think this is my chance to dig in I start laughing away with the air steward in full You've got a big laugh as well. Yeah, I really, I really go for it in the charming chat with the airs, you, all of them. I just really, really, yeah. Also, by the way, at that point, a woman comes up to say she's a fan of me. Absolutely perfect timing.

I was like, this is glorious. Then, later in the flight, I come out the toilet, the woman's still staring at me, even as I walk down the aisle, she cranes her neck over her seat to kind of evil me as I walk down. I've said sorry at this point. All I've done is say sorry. Shit. An hour later, I know it's an hour later, because they're delivering drinks. I hear two hair stewards talking. One of them goes, he's still cleaning his seat with a napkin. And the other one goes, it's been an hour. Oh my God. What is that then? Well, obviously he might be germophobic or OCD or something like that.

Yeah, yeah. A fucking private jet there. Yeah, but yeah. There will be other people on this plane. So, let's be honest, an air-conditioned plane with 200 people and it's not ideal. Well, because it can't... It was so weird. Because if he...

Honestly, I was at the end, I was also like, oh, God, is he going to confront me as we get off? But he was one of those guys... You know, the person who, when you get off... Yeah. when the moment you stand up, he was up and straight to the front so that he could be the first out, even though he's in the front row. He was basically... Yeah, but then he had to wait so long at the...

For his case? For his case. Because there's two things here. One is like his egos being like sort of challenged by you putting your foot on his seat. Also, the germ's only going to go on his jeans or his shorts. Some people are mad, don't they? It was so... But do you know what?

It made me go. Do you remember when I said to that guy, what's this really about. Yeah. Right in, if you've got any, what's this really about? Because that felt to me like a real classic. Yeah,

what's this really about? That's a good little sexy. What's going on here? Yeah, why have you done that? Why are you so angry at me? Because I've apologised. I, all right, that is a mistake that I've totally accepted.

I haven't gone, I'll put my foot where I fucking want, love. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you've not gone back on. It's only the corner. Why are you being so uppity? You've immediately apologised. Yeah.

I tell you what, weird thing happened to me. at the, we was at the buffet of the hotel, right? Yeah. And I put some toastings, so four slices of toast. So there's two toasters, right, with four gaps in, one side of this bench, and there's one the other side of this bench, right? Anyway, so I put four slices toast in for us, me, Lou and the kids. Anyway, I go away, come back, go in front of me, just pops up my toast, takes it.

That's not on. That's not on. I've never seen that in my life. You're not going to argue if you're right. He thinks that there's just a constant toast going through. I don't know. But he thinks that the service is so good that they're constantly filling the toaster

and you can come and take the toast. There's four options of bread. There was like white brown sourdough and then like some gluten-free one. So it's like, hang on. How do you even know you want that one? Maybe it's happened to him, Rob. Maybe it's continuing.

I was just stood there going, he's stealing my toast. And did you think to step in? No, I was, well, one, I was in shock because I've never, I've been in a lot of, I've been in a lot of hotel buffets, never seen it, never seen that in my life. I've had people being a bit annoyed their waiting or a bit like, or, you know, like that, but never someone that just walks home. But like, I'd gone off to get other bits, so I'd left it unattended.

Yeah. But because it takes longer to do. But then I thought, do I say something? I'm like, no, I don't want to be that guy. Like, it's like, there's loads of bread. Yeah. And I had nothing to do that day. It's got a line the sum for a bit.

Exactly. Exactly. You're on holiday. Who cares? I think I could go and toast myself. Oh, can I always say for the holiday thing, the blue marigold, big blue, basically big blue glove for the arm. Yeah. It does work and it saved the holiday.

However, on day five, it did start leaking. It got a bit stretched. So I would suggest. if you've got the money, take more than one blue marigold. How much was it? Like 20 quid or something. I mean, worth it for what it got. Yeah, of course.

Yeah. So I would double up because you're in a situation where you can't. But also my daughter did then invent a way to save it. So if you've got to leak it slightly leaking blue marigold, she then tied a t-shirt around the top of her cast. so that any water that got in would then get soaked up by the t-shirt that was... Oh, a t-shirt over the cast and then a marigold over the t-shirt. Respect.

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but my kids, the NEDO situation at security, my kids... We've got into Nidos. Yeah. So they stop them at security and it takes ages. And I told my kids not to pack any, they packed them anyway. So both bags got searched. And sometimes they will take them away from you.

Yes. If you've got a horrible thing here. you do not want a crying kid with no needo on the way out no no exactly good point very good point good point thanks thanks thanks everyone anything else going on what's what's your have you got a chill summer what's going on with you well we've got we've got a wall chart yeah well cut one chart we've caught well god don't oh oh i've said that's over can i talk can i you can i you can veto this can i read out the text you sent about possibly going to the final and the reasons you shouldn't go.

Yeah, go on. We could always believe it if it too. So basically, I was in Greece and I was coming back on the Friday. I had work on the Saturday, but I could get to the World Cup final with England made it by flying out Sunday morning at 7.30 a.m.

to get in at 10.30 a.m. Now, I had a flight held just in case England got to the World Cup finals. I thought I had to be there. But by doing that, I had to cancel and have changed a lot. lot of things. And I was trying, just texting Josh about it.

Okay. So you've put, I can get a ticket for the final. Not sure to go or not if we make it. Would fly out 7.30 a.m. on the day of the final. I'd have to cancel loads of work stuff. Everyone would hate me. I'd have to watch France win 3-0, which proved very incorrect on both counts. prediction that.

Yeah. It would be my fourth final defeat in the row. Plus, I'd say England v France, it would be the biggest underdog out of those finals. What are you canceling? Filming. Someone's flying in from Geneva to do the filming. And then you've put, I'm in two minds.

I would also miss my parents' lunch on Sunday and a date night with Lou on Monday. That's tonight. Might just make it an event at home with the Lou and the girls and a couple of friends. I've been to America three times this year already as well as Malaysia and China is July. I'm currently in Greece.

I went to Dubai for a gig and I'm off to France and Germany in two weeks for a road trip for TV. Effing Nora. I'm going to combust, I think so. Day later, I've booked my plane. I'm a nightmare. I just can't.

I just throughout that conversation, I thought, there's no doubt he's going. There's no doubt. I can't. It's not FOMO as much. I just sort of, my mentality is, we're here for such a short amount of time. If you've got the capability or the ability to go and do something, what you do, just No, Burnham's in now and sort it out.

Is it a speech going? Yeah, it's a nightmare. We've had six prime ministers in 10 years. Oh, you've not fucking helped that. No one of the main reasons. Was there part of you when we lost, a small part of you, that thought, at least I don't have to go to, well, I don't, you know, that choice is no longer.

Yeah, no, I think as well, France or Spain, I think England would have lost. Yes. If we got there, do I mean, I just, I just think, you know, our defence is too leaky and they're both so good attacking wise. Yeah. And, well, no, we did beat France in the third place playoff, but that wasn't a normal game, was it? That was like a freak game.

Imagine if that had been the final. I mean, I don't want to talk about football, and I don't know when this is going out, but the fact Saka was fully fit and never got brought on makes my rage, Rommeter. I can't, let's not do this. With football, you go to rage and I go to sadness.

I, I only go to rage with England. You do go to Rage with England. With Arsenal, I'm a bit more, nah, is what it is, but I'd say, because I don't think I went to, I didn't go to Arsenal as a kid with my family, my dad, and that. didn't feel so viscerally real.

I used to watch on the TV. But England games were such a big event growing up. There'd be all different family and friends around, a lot of tears and stress and crying and all that, so it feels more real. Anyway, we'll save that. Do you know what, Rob? I've got to tell you where I watched it.

Could I just, oh, yeah, yeah, go on. So I need to tell you where I watch the games. We're in a nice result, right, in Greece, but it was like not, because it's a nice, fancy result. It was an all-inclusive, Like, they don't really have TVs. There's a TV in the room,

but the TV, when I tried to watch the France-Span game, kept them glitching. And I think it was a connectivity issue because everyone was watching it. Yeah. So if too many people are on one system, it can go glitchy. I was like, I can't roll the dice for the England game here

because I watched the Norway one on an iPad in my bedroom. Yes. Oh, right. So this was the semi-final against Argentina. Argentina. So I'm like, right, what we're doing it? I had the same one with the Norway one. You went to a hotel bar, didn't you?

Yeah, because the TV was in the room where my family was asleep. Yeah. Well, my TV wasn't working properly. So anyway, for the Argentina one, they went, oh, we're putting a bigger TV out down by the beach, so there's more space. I went there at 9 o'clock, game was 10 o'clock, rammoed, barely places to stand, don't mind watch it.

And I'm like, I can't deal with this. This is too much. And also, because I was just milling about, there's a lot of people, I couldn't really chat to the kids because they were chatting to me because I'm off the TV and all that, and I thought, I can't deal with this. So anyway, I went up to the, because this is what I struggle with in fancy results. I always feel like I've got more in connection with the people working there than the people

stay in there. I made a friend. I made a nice friend. She was a listener of the podcast. Yeah. Shout out to Meg. She was a guest and she got to watch the Norway game in exchange for her husband was going to go out for the semifinal and go. Because they had two kids.

So he was doing the kids for this one. and then she was going to do the kids to the semi-final. We were the same level of caring, but there was like Norway fans. It was quite fun, but we weren't like the furious angry. There was a guy who was just like... Argentina and Norway,

they're different propositions to play against the way they play. I know, I know. There's a guy next to us when... And I know he messed up in the Argentina game. But you know, against Norway, yeah. They made a substitution. And this guy just goes,

oh, he's got his favorites. hasn't he? And I thought, yeah, because he's a football squad. He has got his friends. He hasn't brought 26 players of the same ability.

I'm going to pick 24 people. Drew Bellingham because he's better than all the other players. He's my favourite. That's why I pick him. I'll just talk about the, I'll do Tina go, so I asked someone,

went, look, it's too busy, where would you watch the game in the local town? You went, go to Breeze Bar. It's Bargled Breeze Bar. I'd go, that does not sound like the right recommendation. I knew it was. I knew immediately it was the right one, right?

So, anyway, I'd get a cab. This is nine o'clock. I go, right, who wants a kind of adventure? Get 100 euros out of cashpoint, boom, we're in a cab. So sorry, is your whole family going to Breeze Bar? Yeah. With iPads. Anyway, we're in a car.

Lose well up for Breeze Bar, right? Yeah, yeah, of course. I quite like a normal bar. What time's kickoff in Greece? 10 p.m. 10 p.m. I'm in a cab to Breeze Bar. We get to Breeze Bar.

We sit there. Anyway, the geyser from the resort says, I've messengers the owner. I get there. He's like, Mr. Rob, come this way. I'm treated like a king. It puts me upstairs.

Because it's downstairs. We're a few English tourists, but he went, always upstairs. He went upstairs. Massive Aircon unit right in front of the TV. Perfect. Got drinks. They come, give us food, drinks.

Kids have some chis. That's the breeze that gave him their name, presumably. Exactly. Oh, Breezebite. Beautiful. Right. Good food as well. right in the front, lovely. Sit down,

enjoyed it. A few Argentinians behind us, which is quite stressful. The only people upstairs are English next to me, young couple, in their 20s, right, lovely. Anyway, me and immatureing, everyone else is like going, anyway, we lose, it's awful. And ironically, the Argentinians went, they went, fuck you, England, that's because you didn't try and play football. Are you kidding? That come back to buy them in the final.

That absolutely dourge fest. Anyway, so we lose. It's midnight. We leave Breeze Bar. I've just realized that I'm in the middle of nowhere with 20 euros and no idea how to book a cab, get a cab. Don't even know where we go.

How are your kids? Fine. They've got iPad. Anyway, as I'm coming out. A couple of English people talk to me. The 20-year-old couple, they're in there. The 20-year-old couple, start chatting to them.

And I say, do you anyone, I go, I need to get a cab? Do you know how to get a cab? He went, I don't know, I've driven. I'm like, we're in it. this is good news. I went, oh, we've driven. Oh, you've got a higher car, have you?

And I was like, don't fancy dropping us back, dear. Anyway, Joe Drophy, they wouldn't let us in the hotel result. I'd have to give her my name, a room number and a card. But it was a fun night out. We enjoyed it.

Shame about the result. Apologies to Meg, Joe and Connie. Yeah, but you know. If you do small business. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. Long-time listener, navigating full-time work over here. Having heard Rob talk about how he's trying to get good at golf to go on golf holidays,

I'd love a small business shout up for my friend Jamie and Golf Sherper, who may just be able to help. As a toddler dad with a full-time job, Jamie launched Golf Sherper as a side hustle in 2025 after years of organizing golf holidays for friends. Golf Sherper is a golf management service that saves golfers time and money by designing and delivering unforgettable golf experiences, handling bookings and logistics before an event, and then apt to manage the competition in real time.

Jamie and Golf Sherper colleagues, Stephen and Ben, have already taking the golf world by storm, securing partnerships with some top golf hospitality venues and having made it to the finals of entrepreneurial competition, Scottish Edge and the Heat. Visit Golfshurper.com.com.

Or golf underscore Sherpa on Instagram. Thanks so much. Harriet in Bearsden, pronounced Bearsden. Yes, really. I got it right, near Glasgow. Hello, you Schmexie Schmexie Slags. I'd like to shout out a small business in Coventry, urban sandwich. The sandwiches are next level with bread made fresh daily, seed oil free, stacked with flavor. Also delicious. They're based in West Orchards Coventry and well worth a visit. The main chef has been through a tricky couple of years and I'm sure he'd appreciate a few extra customers. They do hot and cold sarnies and breakfast flatbreads at good prices.

The Insta is Urban underscore Sandwich underscore Coventry. Tarah Ducks, Hannah. There you go, Urban Sandwich. Let's get involved. Josh, would you like to play golf with me? Nine holes, not 18, I'd say. How about we play nine and then finish on the 10th, if I'm saying? Oh, here we go.

Someone's a lot like that.