Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S13 EP2: Big Pants Update and a seagull attacks Josh

Episode Date: July 24, 2026

More adventures in life and parenting... Rob and Josh both get spooked by diffeent things at the window. Josh's full body scan reveals his pant choices, and Rob nearly wrecks the podcast room he records in... so it's business as usual at Parenting Hell Towers!! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Parenting Hell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Search Monzo. For children aged 6 to 15, parent or guardian account. account needed first. UK residents only, T's and C's apply. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with... Ella. Sweet up. Do you say Rob Beckett? And can you say Josh Whedickickon?

Is this by the... Josh Widdickham? Josh. Whittickon? Whittickon? Do you do a windy pox? Pretty cute that one. even for an old sour sour slag like me.

Oh, you're dead behind the eyes, aren't you, Rob? You're dead behind the eyes. Do you know what? Yeah. Yeah. I run Josh and Michael. I swing in and out of it. I'm all right.

I'm good. I can see my diary clearing up and opening up, and I can feel myself relaxing. After all these years, you finally opened up your diary? I'm three weeks away from just fucking having a cup of tea and wearing hemp. Are you? Can you wear hemp? Not if you want to look good.

I might do a sage, you know, a burn sage in my house. Yeah? So talk to me about it. Well, let me talk about this, and then I'm going to see about your new hippie persona. I'm making this up as a girl. Sorry about the far midway through. I was going to re-record it as I also hate my embarrassing mum voice in this.

This is my daughter Bella just before she turned two. Menton at the time, but someone forgot for about months. Never miss a podcast. I'm a huge fan of you both and love seeing you live. Bella's now two and a half if it's definitely like living with a tiny stand-up comedian. A big shout out to my sister-in-law, Kaz in Tumbridge Wells, who got me hooked on this when Bella was born. Thanks and love, Emily and Epsom.

Lovely. Thank you very much, Emily and Epsom. It is embarrassing, your child voice, isn't it? Yeah. But it's got to be done. That's how they respond. Exactly, Rob. People don't just decide to do it. It's because it gets more out of them because there's so long where you get nothing back.

Exactly. I just stare at you. And it would be weird just to do it. to talk to them like this. Go ahead. Have you had enough milk? Yeah. Say Dad. Say Daddy. Say Rob Beckett.

Well done. Say Josh Whitaker. Good. How are you, Josh? Good. I've got some big pants update on you for you. Oh, hello. Go on big pants. You know about my big pants? I'll just find the thing. If you fill people in on that... You wear baggy sun spells?

Yeah. So I went for a thing, Rob. 100% cotton? I'd hope so. I went to this thing. thing called Neco Health. Right. Which is, it's like a

Rose book to them. It's a kind of body scan. Yeah, to see if you're healthy. So, it's all very fun and futuristic, right? But I went in, and you go in.

Is this in Devon? No. It's all fun and futuristic. I was in London. He was in London. London that you slag off, but you have to go back for for certain things you can't get in Devon?

To stay alive. Go down here full of clotted cream. It's very futuristic. You go in, right? And it's like, it's made to look futuristic. And then you go into a room and you've got a dressing gown on with just your pants on. And then you go into like a stand-up thick, like a bit like it's like all around you. And you stand there like you're at an airport security that post.

Yeah. And they say, pass out your, so you're just in your pants, pass that out. Right. Pass the gown outs. You're just in your pack. The gown out, yeah. And then they do all the scans, right? And then you have a chat with a doctor about all the findings, straight away, right?

And it brings up a kind of futuristic version of what you looked like. I didn't know. But it really accentuated how big my pants are. It hasn't accentuated. It's just reflected. It looks like I'm in a huge pair of pants, Rob. But you are in a huge pair of pants. I've sent it to you.

I've sent it to you. So this was what was on the war. And I wanted to go to the woman, that's unfair on my pants. I mean, let's have a look at this. But Judge, nothing's changed. They've scanned you and that's just, that is the size of your pants.

You've just never seen yourself like that before. That's why it's funny. I didn't realize how big my pants were. We can't put that on it on. They just got to go on the Instagram. Let's make sure this goes. Okay, yeah, yeah. This has to go online.

They're such big pants. They are big pants. It does it look like your knobs poking through the bottom and that's just the fold of the pants. Yeah, yeah. You do have big pants. They are big pants. I can't believe.

I can't believe you run in them with the little elasticate one. It's just so much material. But they, Josh, I thought it was going to be like sort of really weird scale. But that's exactly what your pants look like when I see you in pants. They are big pants. They are big pants. And that's fine. If you want big fans.

I didn't realize how big they were. They're just big granddad pantas. Big blooms, if you will. Bloomers, yeah. Right, we're going to talk. We've got anything more you want to say before we hear from our audience. Not really. I can't really think about what's got so much.

Oh, the boiler's being fixed. Yeah. Plummer came and needs a new part. He's going to the wholesalers now to see if you can get the part. If he can get the part, we back tomorrow morning to fit the part. But at the moment, he can't. So what he's done is turned. the immersion on so I'll have hot no boiler oh yeah no we'll have hot but you won't have any central

heating unfortunately oh no rob so that's a nightmare so it'll be shivering in the beckett house tonight yeah fair enough fair enough 25 degrees i love this heat wave i know in the on the news everyone's saying it's bad but it's nicer than the alternative for me it's too hot for me i know but i would you i'd rather be too hot than it be rainy and miserable for the summer i'm quite a rainy and miserable guy though, I think. Okay. Well, that's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, know, I can, I don't have to understand, I can, you know, I hate each other. Oh, yeah, I don't,

So tell me about Reddit. I think we should have a... A quiz. A Reddit section where Michael reads stuff and you have to guess if it's true or false. Yeah, like what's been on there. But we can work that out. Michael's still in New York.

Michael, see if you can get any of that together by the end of the episode. What I would say is out of the Reddit stuff, is the funniest thing is there will be discussions about why they think we've done stuff. And the compliments to us that there's any actual thought behind any of it. is like remarkable from like the order of episodes, who we've booked to guests.

We don't even know. No. So it's like that's quite, that's been quite fun. Can I let you into the order of the episodes, guys? It's when people's books are coming out. They need to be on certain weeks. And if they haven't got anything to promote, they are put in those weeks when no one's really requested to be in that week. so it's just filler.

Exactly. And then we did loads of just us chatting because we were too busy to book and forgot to book any guests. So that, you know, there's no big real plan. The thing that I've never understood about Reddit and I think the sort of loyal fans of the show call people out for this as well is

the people that go specifically onto the parenting hell page on Reddit to say, oh, I don't listen anymore, however. And then they'll comment something on the show that they allegedly don't listen to. That's a very recent thing that we've discussed. So I'm not sure how long ago they stopped listening. And also, if you don't care about the show, that's fine. You know, you're allowed to not like stuff.

But it is slightly odd to then go on to log into a specific page that doesn't get presented to you. You have to go to it and then go, oh, I don't listen anymore. Because bear in mind, I don't listen to almost every podcast on Earth. Yeah. You think of the amount of podcasts there are. I reckon that I listen to about 0.01% of podcasts. This is a comment I just was scanning through the page and I just enjoyed. It said the title of the feed or the title of the sub was called brainstorming.

I just wish they had a planning meeting. Didn't brainstorm what they're going to talk about on the actual podcast itself. Fair. Do you know what? Totally fair. I've lost count of the amount of times someone suggests something that I really want to hear about, yet they get sidetracked through brainstorming or being

sidetracked and never return to the subject. You know what? Correct. Correct. Hold our hands up there. Yeah. We do do that. Your comment, Michael. Yeah, that's my way of trying to produce you.

What I'd say is, though, it's like we haven't got a time for meetings about what's going to be on the show is because most of that time is eating up with people not having charges or a quote-up thing to be called. Exactly. Exactly.

Right. All right. Any more you want to chip you in with. If there's a quiz you can do at the end, Michael, we will get to that. Let's not brainstorm other ideas. Yeah. Right.

Imagine this. Go on. So imagine this is a feature. That has been taking the nation by storm. What do they think of? Imagine this on Reddit. So someone's, suggesting a scene and we all have to say how we're imagining it.

Okay. This is from Sarah Towns. Imagine, imagine, imagine, imagine, imagine. Imagine this. A hedgehog mum and a frog mum meeting in a garden for a catch-up. Okay. Oh, the hedgehog mum's big. Okay, do you want to start, Rob?

So was it? Who's knocking? Hello? Who's that there? Oh, Luke, why's Lou knocking out the window? What are you doing there? Are you locked out? Oh, you just,

fucking. All right, okay. You're right. That was so weird. Sorry, everyone. I was trying to imagine. Well, I'm at work here trying to imagine a hedgehog mum. And that, I'm at work. I'm crazy. Yeah, I'm at work. That bitch out there that's distracting me from the grindstone of imagining a hedgehog. Excuse me. Can I back off? I'm trying to fucking work here. No, Little was walking past and she did a weird little tap, but it was a weird tap I've never heard of. And the curtains right down low.

On the window? Yeah, so where this window looks out and there's like the back gardeny bit, there's like a little thing than there. So all I saw was her eyes and her finger tapping on the glass. I got all confused. But I thought she was locked out. She wasn't. Sorry, a hedgehog mum, a frog mum meeting in a garden for a catch-up. So it's a big hedgehog.

She's a big old girl. She's there. It's a bit of a belly on her. She's hunched over. They've got a little. tiny patty like little table up plastic table and chairs that they're sat on and the hedgehog mom's doing some knitting tiny little hedgehog pulling on a spike next to her maybe a child and then the frog ones a very skinny frog mom and she stood up pouring tea for them by the table that's nice

what are you getting i'm imagining they're kind of um in adjacent um kind of classic two up two down houses with the back, you know, the back gardens with a wooden fence, you know, those wooden slatted wooden fences. And they've both got a cup of tea in their hands and they're kind of talking over the fence and there's maybe a washing line with their washing on. And they're both kind of cartoon animal, humanised animals, what they're called? You know, like... Amher phosophers-sized. Yeah, so they're stood on their hind legs and they're maybe wearing a pinny. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And the clothes behind them in the shape of hedgehogs and frogs?

Well, because they're anthropomorphised. I suppose they're wearing human clothes, essentially. Yeah, but have they got really long, skinny jeans? Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Tiny little trousers. No, because I think it's like baby clothes and it's like... All right.

Because I imagine a massive waist for the hedgehog with tiny little legs. Yes, I suppose. Of the jeans. The hedgehog, yeah, yeah. She wouldn't be wearing jeans. She's a very old school, you know, kind of pair of baby, a pair of spectacles, like kind of very Beatrix pottery. Okay.

Michael, would you like to... Mine was quite close to Josh's, except it was in black and white, like the title sequence of Coronation Street. Calm down, Nolan. Queuing up to the IMAX for this one, are we? You know the opening title sequence of Coronation Street with that sort of back alley? It was one of those, and the hedgehog was wearing a kind of hairnet, like Hilder Ogden with like some of turnus and stuff in it?

With this, imagine this feature, someone's got involved here. He said, hello, Rob, Josh and Michael, love the pod. No kids, but have listened to every episode. However, I must say I feel personally offended by the new segment. Imagine this. And now you've done it for a second time. Well, we're doing it loads here. I feel the need to speak up.

I have Anfantasia. And A-P-H-A-N-T-A-S-I-A. Amphatiaia, was it? Did I? Which means I can't visualize images in my head at all. Wow. I'm at a 5 and it seems like you idiots are a 0.001. When you close your eyes, you see an apple.

Yeah. I don't see it. I don't see it either. I don't physically see it. No, but you can picture something. So if I said, can you imagine England winning the World Cup? If I shut my eyes, I don't see anything. It's all black.

No, but you can picture it. You don't even need to shut your eyes. I can see Harry Kane lifting the World Cup trophy. in my head. Right. So, but they can't see that at all? No. So can they read a book or something, like... Well, they can read the words, but they can't imagine what, they must love films. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Right. So the answers. Yeah. Oh yeah, you carry on. Well, saying, given this offense, I'll request you to hold a minute's silence on the pod for us, and fatacia see the acts, during which you must close your eyes. So what... So during which you

must close your eyes and imagine only blackness. This is your only way you can have home for your offense. Leanne from Singapore. So you can't see. I don't get it. So what happens when we're doing the imagine this feature? They're just sort of going, oh yeah, great. They can't imagine a frog and a hedgehog.

So what are they doing? Wow. That's such an interesting thing to happen to someone. Workplace Shaggers. Hi, you stags. I was listening to your episode on the 26th of May, series 12, episode 41. Imagine this and had to write in. I live in Ormskirk. Remember we heard about the person that had sex in the pharmacy cupboard?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. Anyway, I live in Ormskirk. I recently visited said pharmacy in the large supermarket. I've taken a picture, see attached. The large vent suits have gone, so any shagging can now go unheard in the shop. Stay sexy, relatable, Gary.

Pop it on the Instagram. Pop it on the Instagram. This is podcast tourism. Yeah. People are visiting the Ormskirk pharmacy to see where they shacked. Oh, wow. Your Family Pharmacy Plus. Wow.

That's good. We'll pop that on the Instagram. Thank you. Well, no. And I'll tell you what, it would be angry. Reddit. How do you think the Reddit and the listeners, actually, let's ask this as a serious question.

How would you feel listenership? And please be honest, I don't know what the best way is to reply into this. We don't want to just spam the inbox. How would you feel if we went really professional? And it looks like a proper, like, you know, these new podcasts that are pure, like, TV show looking. We know what we're doing. We've got, we always guaranteed a guest this day or that on that day. Like, we remember sometimes we'll talk about our children.

And the day before, right, each episode will put out a series of clips that make the interview look very dramatic. And under it will say, if you want to. want the interview now, write the word, you know. And we'll DM you the link, that one. Yeah, we can do that. And then what about like, we just like put up loads of random, kooky things about parenting on the parent in hell, what's it called, Instagram page? Yeah.

What do you think about that? Do you want that? Do you want that? Do you like that? Do you reckon they'd probably go, oh, they've gone like that, have they? But then love it because it's like really professional. There's more stuff. It's more stuff, isn't it?

Yeah, but then like, it's, It strikes me as, without this feeling like a criticism, because I like this band, it reminds me a bit of like Alex Turner changing his singing voice. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. But if he's, is, if he's happier doing that, that's fine. Would we be happier? I don't know.

I mean, I think, maybe, I do, maybe. Have we got it in us? Do you think we've got it in us, Michael? I think it would be the end of this podcast. Now, I think what we'll do is we'll try and make sure we're always putting out great content in our way. Right, guys? Exactly, exactly. Right.

What do you want to do? We've got parenting fowls here. We've got playground shaggers. Food confession. Let's save the food. Food confession. Well, this is when I slag people off for putting sugar and not chocolate, and then I told everyone that I dipped breadsticks into butter and then dip it into the grated cheese and eat it at the fruit. Okay.

Hit me with some food confessions. There we go. Hello, you love you peck. Gamelny Custer Sarah 33 Here from Cheshire No kids, just cats I was listening to your recent episode

I thought I needed to write in My food confession involves Plain Cream crackers Okay, it's fine so far I haven't done this for quite some time I used to The fuck's out upstairs What's that?

Is that Lou knocking on the ceiling? No, it honestly sounded like The kids were riding a horse That was the noise I got How much are you paying them To ride the horse No, no orses in this house, mate. I used to eat slash chew just Jacob's crackers and then spit them into a bowl.

What? So crackers in mouth, chew, chew, chew. Yeah. Didn't like swollen. Not swollen to spat into a bowl. I'll do this a few times, then use a spoon and re-eat it. Oh my, Fing G. Fing G, that is too much for my tastes.

I don't know why I started doing it but I casually mentioned it to my best friend and she told me she used to do the same with mini-cheddars. What? Except she was chew, spit it out onto the next one, then eat it. What? So the same, but with mini-cheddars.

But I don't know what the difference is. Is it because they like it smashed up and that's what they're doing it, or do they like the spittle to be all over? I like smashed avocado, Josh. I'm not chewing it and spin it on each house. Exactly, yeah, like a bird feeding their young when they chew it up and spit it in there.

mouths. That is... That is bad. Because with cheddars and the same with cream crackers, you could just smash them up. You could easily, before opening your mini-cheddars, smash up the bag of

cheddars. Because if you were doing a new Hannibal Lecter film, right, and you had to try and convey to the audience a sort of a psychotic individual, if you walk past a cell and saw someone doing that, you'd go, that's two on the nose. Yeah. That's too weird. You know, no one does that. That's too...

Also, who's going to be Jacob's cream crackers in a prison, in a high security prison? What, what, is it, is it because they're too dry and they're adding moisture? Yeah, I don't know, that is, that is actually, I don't like the look of, I don't like to think about the image of the thing in my mouth once I've started chewing it. Don't what I've seen some people do is, I don't know who did it. It was like, it was like, they're trying to make a salad and with a carrot. And we'll just, instead of chopping a carrot, would just sort of, like, buy bits of it off to fall into the pot.

What? What was this on? That's not my gel. I remember seeing it somewhere. Also, do you know Joey Essex when he brushes his teeth? He moves his mouth, not the brush? That's not true. This is like something from what I liked you.

It's probably, yeah, I can see how it. Because you're not meant to move it. Do you have an electric toothbrush? Yeah, I do now because I was getting receding gums because I was brushing too hard. Yeah. Yeah, we could all see that. Oh, yeah.

Did you see that on your scan, or your big old bloomer's out? Big old bloomers. Yeah, absolutely fine. Health-wise, just a style issue. You just need better pants, mate. You look 300. You look like a lost granddad in the fucking woods.

The age of your heart is 40, but the age of your pants are 87. You've got a degenerative condition in your wardrobe, I'm afraid. Right, there we go. Luckily, your prostate is, as far gone as your pants, you'll be alright for a few more years. Do you want another food confession?

Yeah. Hello, you trio of legends. I've been listening for years and never found a feature that quite resonates with me enough to write in until now. I have an unhealthy obsession with crispy fried onions. Thoughts on those, John? I like the smell that makes you feel like you're at a football match when someone's, but I don't like it when it's

you know when it's like put on rice or something and it's actually just like bits of crispy fried onion or when they put it on like but that's what they mean is dry. I think she's talking about the dry stuff you're getting harvested. No, I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't mind that on a harvest a salad

if I'm eating it straight away. But as soon as it goes soft, I'm out. I think it also, it dominates it's a strong taste. Do you know what I mean? It's difficult to see beyond it once it gets involved. We've all done panel shows with people like that. Well, she's definitely the crispy ones

because she said, I'm an addict. At a famous food chain, let's call it combine. Yeah, fine. My salad bowl will consist of an entire bowl of these crispy flakes of goodness. Wow. Possibly with a smattering of garlic croutons for balance.

For balance. Spooning it in. Oh my word. My daughter just has pineapple with bacon bits. A combine. Yeah, the combine. But I think

all, I think children have a free hit because children are like pregnant women. Do you know what I mean? It kind of all rules are off. Okay, around a year ago, all my dreams came true when I realized you could buy them and in the supermarket.

I now shamelessly, and sit there with a spoon and throw them into my face like cereal. One thing I would say from a, this isn't, you know, I'm not a health expert. I imagine they are incredibly bad for you. There's nothing good that can come from it. They're all going to be so great. There's so much grease in them. And then that, yeah.

So, so, I just don't, I don't know whether a full bowl of crispy onions is, is going to be a win. But she says she really, each their own. She rarely uses them as a garnish as their intended purpose. I'm even known to have a quick fix by tipping my head back and pouring them directly into my mouth. Wow. Look, I'm now pregnant with my third child, so I have a sweet yet infinite period of time where

I can get away with this and blame it on. Fair enough. No, no, no, no. Where she can blame it, she said it. I can blame it on cravings. But really, I'm just a fat fuck. Is that what she said? Yeah, that's what she said.

That's what she said. Fair play. Imagine if you'd added that yourself. No, but she's had to at some point introduce that to her partner. Yeah. To be like, hey, I'm... Is there anything you do that's weird that you're... I'm the Crispy onions guy.

Yeah, like, just so you know. I'm starting to worry about my pants. They are big granddad pants, but they're fine. They're not terrible. They're just granddad. I haven't got... I remember Rose thinking it was weird. food-wise, but it's not nearly the same.

Yeah. That I'd have within a full carton of orange juice directly from the carton. How big we're talking? Like the big one? No, like the traditional... Do you still get them? You know the one you'd get when we were kids that are...

As big as a hand? No, you know, like a carton of orange juice. Is it a litre? Is it not one that you put a... drawing one that you'd buy for your family you'd cut the corner off right so like the one that's in it's in it's not normally in the cold it's in the dry section that then you put in the fridge at home yeah yeah yeah and is it cold when you have it maybe get four of them wouldn't you if you had yeah so right okay so now let's dig into this because i'm excited about this and i think michael

too i can sense it you will oh come in you're like oh well done That's good. Is it nice? No, it's my daughter that's been freezing. I know, I was joking. Yeah. Do we need to try it? Sorry. Oh, it's lovely.

Well done. There's a little team for the social kit. Oh. Oh my God. Shit. Sorry. Right. Get back on.

Got a cushion so I'm high enough. Oh, so much got again. So, guys, right in, do you want us to go slicker? Let us know what you want from us. Europe's biggest pod here. Oh, my gosh. Do you want us to go slicker? Michael.

Could you edit that with him saying that And then a timestamp of how many minutes later this happened? Right. The beautiful thing about that is we won't do that. No. We won't do that. Right. Anyway, so that was my daughter's been freezing Coke

and putting a stick in it to make big Coke lollies. Oh yeah, that's good. This is wrong. I mean to try it. We'll diet Coke. Right. Right. Your can of juice. So you've put it in the fridge.

dinner time. You've sat down with what you're eating with Rose. This started at uni. At uni, I'd go across the road, do Domino's, right? Yeah. Where in the Fallowfield student district of Manchester, it was two pounds for a cheese nine inch or 12 inch, like a reasonable size cheese and tomato pizza. Yeah. One 95 actually, with the little pot of stuff. So I was having a brain.

Yeah, of course. No note so far, Josh. Totally on board all of this, yep. I'd order that so often that once I phoned up and when I said my name, they said, what's your name? I said, Josh. And they said, is that the Josh? And I was like, yeah, yeah, here we go.

He saw Star Dust. And then I'd go next door that was a, if you went to Union Manchester, you'll know it was a notorious kind of news agent where rumors were you could buy nefarious things as well. So I'm just going to move that around so it looks good, the background. Sorry. Yeah.

So you can buy naughty things there. Apparently. You could, A, I'd heard that, you know, people bought drugs there. Mm. And B, there was a, they had a, they had a video and DVD rental in those days. Oh, okay. And if you went in to rent the thing, they'd say, that'll be three pounds to rent it. Or for a fiver, I could just burn it on to a DVD and you can have it.

Oh, okay. Decent. So it was a, so it's a, so it's a, you know, bit of a dodgy place. Yeah. Anyway, and you, and you,

that's where you went to get your orange juice. I'd go and buy my carton of orange juice while my dominoes was being made, and then I'd

take them both back home, and that would be my dinner. The most just really can think ever is going to a drug dealer to buy orange juice. Dad, do you do drugs at you?

Well, sort of. I don't know if you've ever had not from concentrate orange every night. Then, so basically, you'd sit down your pizza and you chop off the end and you would drink it from the carton and would you drink all of it with dinner. I think there was a plastic thing on it, a plastic opening.

Oh, right. So whatever. But you're drinking out of the carton with your dinner and are you drinking all of that with your dinner? Yeah, yeah. The whole, the whole litre of orange shoes. Yeah, because I was under the impression that it was good for you. Yeah, I agree with this because I used to drink big bottles of orange juice. Actually, just full of sugar. Yeah. And I didn't realize. until I got together with Rose. And she was like, you shouldn't be drinking a liter of orange juice with your dinner. I've never been more Team Rose.

Yeah. Well, no, I agree with her. Now, I'm not like to say, why did she clip my wings? I'm saying I just didn't know. So how long until she's, how many times you reckon you drunk that in front of her until she, because that is difficult in a relationship, isn't it?

Yeah, it was quite early doors. I found out from her that orange juice wasn't like... Did you stagger it and start using a cup or a glass, or you just get rid of it one day? I don't see... Can that the cartons quite disgusting at the... Isn't it in front of someone? Yeah, well, I probably was drinking out of a glass if she was there, maybe.

Yeah, you know... Respect it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, that is... And you had that of every meal? No, not with every meal. Only if I was, you know, treat myself, go to the shop. Yes, your treat drink.

Goodfellas pizza and a carton of orange juice. I can get all the meat off of chicken. What? I'm very good at getting all the meat off a chicken. With your mouth? Yeah, yeah, but sometimes fingers. But I'll get all the meat off a chicken. Standard.

Well, there's this kind of idea that... I sat the head of a prawn. Yeah, this is this kind of idea with people, Rob, that it makes... The chicken would want you to have used it for as much as possible in its death. Absolutely. eat them, meat, fuck the carcass. Full service.

But I don't know if I died how much consolation it would be if someone had eaten me and boiled me for a broth as well and kind of... I'm not eating for chicken out respect. I'm eating all the chicken. No, I know you're not. No, no, no. I was just thinking this the other day

that a lot of people think it's a kind of... I think you're doing it because you know, you want as much chicken for your back. Bang for your buck. Absolutely. Bang for your club. should I say. No, I'm not doing nose to tail

through ethic reasons. No, no. You know. Exactly. Right. Talking of cooking, we got a hobb one. I'll try I've done a couple of it. Do you want to do one? Hobb. Well, we were talking about... You do that one. I'll do the next one.

Okay. It was a centre park scandal. Do you want to do that one? I'll just send a park scandal. Induction Hobb fail. Hi, Rob, Joshua. I love Tuesday's episode where Josh talks about his frustration with the induction hob. I thought I'd share my story.

When we moved house, we had an induction hob in the kitchen. We wondered why nothing was cooking and then realized we needed all new pans. Then two weeks into living there, a plastic spice jar fell from a cupboard above and smashed the hob. So we had to get the whole thing replaced.

Oh, no. Then we got cats, and one of our cats somehow managed to put the hob in safe mode and we had to dig out the instructions and how to take the safety off as it, wouldn't allow to do anything. Having said that, now we're used to it, we wouldn't go back to any other way.

That was a bit of a curveball from David Imprescent. We've got induction. On our new cooker, we've got induction. But after all the induction problems you've been having. Well, there's a difference between getting in your own induction cooker where it's quite simply and you know how to use it versus one you're unfamiliar with. Oh, I was in a hotel this week.

And it had a touch. Sorry, what the fuck happened to your face then? I don't know. It stalled for ages. Did you see that? You went, I don't know if that was the lag or you, actually was getting so enthusiastic. Like you're rearing up for it.

No, it was real, that was real time. That was, what? It was like you started to sneeze and then you paused. I'll do what I think you did. I was in a hotel. Well, because you got, side. Right, I was in a hotel the other week.

And I was in the hotel. Clip it up, put it on the Instagram. Yeah, probably one. Come on. We don't. Click my man. Get the team on it. Honestly, this is like, we're using this episode for clips like Robb uses a chicken.

There's nothing. Nothing on the bones, son. When I did the rest is football in New York, right? You know, because obviously you know the podcast guy's quite well, don't you, Michael, because when you're doing, you know, this is a small industry. I was sat in a barb of one of them went, it's just the three of you? Yeah.

I went, you couldn't tell, you can't tell, can you? Ah, ha. Anyway, sorry, I was in a hotel. Oh, it had a kettle. Oh, it had a kettle. Worth watching the video for that. Impression. My own breakdown. He just got suspended in time.

It was like in a movie, it would have, as you would have stalled, and then the camera would have spun going at this point, I started my, anyway, anyway, I'm going mad. So it was on like his touch, It was like an induction hob. You had to touch it to bring up the lights.

But you're like, if you're in a hotel room, you can't be having modern tech. You don't need to reinvent how to turn on a kettle. No, no. Don't have in a hotel room where someone's got to work it out for themselves. Simple as post. If you want to buy that for your own house, fine. And I like a hotel that's got a big fuck-off switch at the front

that does all lights. Yeah. Scurrying around with your ass out trying to find the lamp one. The lamp. And I don't want to... The amount of times... You know, like, the lamp. You've got...

And the lamp, invariably, has the plug socket where I want it, but it's for a smaller plug. Yeah. A weird small plug that only does lamps. Do you put normal plugs in here? No, no, no, let's not make it handy for them if they've got a charge something. Let's invent a new plug for a fucking lamp that don't work.

And the lamp, it's either the floor button, the wall button, pull the plug out, or you have to put your hand up, which feels like your up skirt in a lamp, to try and find a little clicker. Got your hand up a skirt. I always think I'm about to get electrocued when I'm feeling up the lamp as well.

Oh, he felt I'm about to get cancelled the way my hands go in trying to find a switch. All right. Center park scandal? Oh, sorry, she still got... Centrelopped scandal, no. You still talking? Sorry, was you still talking?

Do you want more professionalism? In 2024? No, no, I can't bear it. Our family descended on center parks. My sister had come over from where she lives abroad. It's a really weird way of putting it. Such a weird sentence structure. Just be anonymous.

Well, maybe. No, they put their name at the end. Is there any more information about the place that impacts a story? Maybe in the whole sea, I suppose. The final sentences, and that sister lives in Denmark. Is it? No, of course. Sorry.

What am I like? My sister's come over from where she lives abroad. So a group included. My sister's come over from where she lives abroad. Okay. Undisclosed, included both our six-month-old and husbands. Two couples. One couple lives abroad.

So basically, me and my sister and our husband and six-year-old six-month-old children went to set up-a-parks. But our sister, she lives abroad. But she's come over from where she lives abroad. I knew that our victim was also... She didn't go to set up parks from her house. abroad, she's come over for it. Yeah. I knew that this has turned into a 1976. I knew our vicar was also

in centre parks with his family that weekend. This is going to end up with the vicar seeing them naked or something, surely. Each time we cross paths, I gave a friendly wave, but he looked deeply troubled and seemed to be avoiding me. Oh no. Later that weekend, I decided

to go around to his lodge to break the ice. Oh, fuck off, you kina. Sorry. I knocked on the door, and he opened, pale as a sheet. I said hello and would he like to meet my family? I pointed down the pathway to where my sister was standing with her husband. The vicar took one look at my sister and her husband and laughed hard for a good minute.

Sorry, I don't get this. This is like a kind of Sherlock Holmes mystery. What's happened? There's a lot to break down here. He's not really saying hello, so she's gone to break the ice by knocking on. on his door than saying, do you want to see my family? That's not breaking the eye. She knows him.

And her sister's over from somewhere abroad. Who cares about seeing someone else's family? Am I wrong? Am I weird? Well, Vickers are quite like that, aren't they? Vickers are really nice. It's another lot they can get in for the contribution bowl, basically. It's more.

I see what's happened here. Go on. At this point, I realised that there might have been a case of mistaken identity, as we are, of course, identical twins. Here we go, Rob. Here we go. She has held something back. It turns out that for three days,

the vicar thought he had spotted me canoodling with another man. My sister's husband. Oh, my word. This is great. This is good. This is good now. I'm in. Sorry for all the stuff I said before.

Like, this is shit. You're a keynote. You're fucking boring us with the sister-abrored stuff. He now realized that it was, in fact, my sister and brother-in-law, and I hadn't been brazenly cheating. We were all together at Centreparks. He said he's been worrying about what to say to me. How could he best approach the subject of such public adultery?

Oh, wow. Yeah, of course, because if he's got a good connection and that stuff, and he knows the husband. Anyway, to keep the confusion going, my twin sister, my, gave birth to our second born on exactly the same day this year, not planned. We love your pod, and most of our conversations sent around digesting the most recent parenting hell episode and cackling love fia finola finola and ellie god i tell you what elli are good out there 368 months um apologies for having a go i just got

confused at the start that's great great twist it was a good twist jonathan creak it was a bit jonathan creak and it wouldn't work unless it's written down do you know who wouldn't have enjoyed that rob Leanne from Singapore. And it's one thing we want to do on this show is keep Leanne from Singapore happy. Sorry, Leanne. She can't picture that by it. I do apologise. No, she must be as a picture of two people that look like each other.

I don't think she can. She can't picture an apple. Come on. Poor Leanne. Poor Leanne. What did they do in their head then? I don't know. I'm going to read more about it.

I think we're done that, Josh. We do some small business. or did you want to do the Reddit thing? Michael? Did you get any Reddit stuff for us, Michael? No, it can be bothered. Cool. Okay, well, tune in next time for another...

Professional. We'll do it for the next one. And all those things will go on Instagram and I've proved I've not been kidnapped. I'm still in the same room. We've just done this for sound. Luckily, Michael came around to... Oh, my fucking God, there's a seagull at the window.

Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, look, look at this live photo. Imagine you'll just... Pop this on the Instagram, Michael. We've got to start. No, we've got to start putting stuff on it. I can see you go. Hold down on it for the live photo.

Oh, is it not... Oh, it hasn't live photoed. Oh, for fuck. sake, why won't it a live photo? That was terrified. He's in a live photo video? Well, you know, when your phone... Maybe if you send it not on WhatsApp.

That was mental. What business? Yeah, you can have a look at the video now. Imagine this guy just appearing out of nowhere. What? He sent it on? We have to get this on that. Oh my God, he's making noise now. You can edit that and turn that into...

into like a repeating giffing. Yeah, that was fucking terrified. Oh, that's very funny. Right. Small business shout out. Yeah. Hi, Rob and Josh and Michael. O.G. listener here, what an evolution you've had from those stressful days in the beginning.

Yeah, we're just smooth and chill now. Yeah. Very, very, very. I've just started a professional organizing business and we'd be grateful for a shout out. Organize and declutter, wardrobes, pantries, children. rooms, playrooms, charity spaces, office spaces, kidnap locations, hostage scenes and Pilate rooms with a bit of wood and a blanket hung over the back.

For more information, I can be found at my main base on Instagram at Curated by Phil F-I-L. My TikTok is the same handle. And your listeners will get a 10% discount with the code Rob and Josh 26. And that's capital R&J. Thank you for the support and the laugh. sexy and relatable, are you relatable these days? Who knows? We can only be what we are. That's from Phil. Good luck, Phil, curated by Phil. F-I-L. I'm going to go down the bottom. Here we go.

A bit of blue. Hi, Rob and Josh, you sexy, Pat. I'm Emma and mum of one sassy three-year-old, and after being made redundant shortly after returning from maternity leave, I decided to finally take the plunge, follow my lifelong dream of running my own creative business. I've lost launched enchanted albums where I designed personalized theme photo albums of kids parties. Good idea. So if your kid is having a Disney princess party, a Spider-Man party, a blueie bash or anything in between, the album will match the theme of the party. Turns all those chaotic, magical icing smeared moments into a gorgeous keepsake families

can treasure forever. To celebrate starting this new chapter and surviving toddler negotiations, I'm offering 10% off for all parenting hell listeners. If you want to turn your camera roll, carnage and something beautiful, you can find me. Enchanted Albums at Outlook.com. Enchanted Albums at Outlook.com. Excellent idea, and I'm sure that I'll appeal to lots of our listeners. That's Emma, 456 months.

Thank you very much, Emma. Cheers, Josh. It's been fun. I'll see you next hour. I've just sent that to you guys, the GIF. Oh, my God, that GIF's good. It's a good gift, isn't it? That's so scary.

And that'll hopefully find your Instagram, aren't it, Michael? Goodbye. Thank you.