Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S13 EP22: Nina Conti

Episode Date: October 2, 2026

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant actress, comedian, and ventriloquist - Nina Conti. You can watch Nina's directorial debut 'Sunlight - HERE Parenting Hell is available to watch on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  (Copyright 2026) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Discover coffee plus on nispresso.com. This episode is presented by Tui. Look, you've got to love a family holiday, Josh. Oh, you've got to love it. Who wouldn't love it, Rob? You know what the problem with the holidays is, right? You don't get enough of them. That's the problem. Exactly. So you need to make the most of your holiday, which is why Tuwee gives you more. So that's got to be easy booking for incredible destinations with amazing hotels that offer all the things you love.

Perfect beaches, mouth-watering food, on-site splash parks, wellness centres, swim up suites and fun stuff for the kids. And now you can get even more by joining the brand new Toey Smiles, Rewarding. Club for free. We're talking members-only deals, personalized rewards from Toey and some of their brilliant partners and plenty of chances to win amazing prizes. Love it. Get more from your holiday book now and discover the Tooy smiles reward club at 2i.combe.combe. Atoll and Abta protected. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... See Josh Whitakum. Yeah, thank you. Good one. It's good one, that, that. You want to see? Yeah. I can see how long's left.

I'll never get to see it from here Air kit There we go Who's that Josh Hi Robin Josh That's Robin That's Robin 2 and a half years old 136 weeks

I'm sending take 2 After we stopped recording take 1 She made a little song Based on your name So I thought you'd enjoy it We live on a boat In the Grand Union Canal I'm from Cambridge

What the fuck I just had a phantom And I've sat on an awkward For the people watching I've sat an awkward angle And I've had some sour cream Lettrips, sorry Sorry keep going

I want a boat on the Grand Union Canal I'm from Cambridge if Rob is guessing today from Jasmine 1,889 weeks Why are you sat like this Rob? Because we've got a very special guest today and this is appropriate Yes, Nina Conti who you might know as Ventriloquist Check out how we're sitting in the visualised form of this podcast

I'm being the monkey Yes Here's Nina Conti Nina Conti Welcome to the show Checking out the we're on cameras We're being filmed Look at that. I can't, though. I'm being so stupid. All I'll see when I turn is the back of my head.

Well, yeah, don't look at the screen. You look at ours. Josh is distracting because he had his hair cut. I didn't even know which hair. It's just a bit, yeah. Short round of cards. So he's got hair on. Are you happy? I am happy. Yeah, I play with it too much when I've had it cut, so it looks bad. How are you? I'm well, how far away does your hairdresser live from you? It's actually about 20 steps. Is it? Oh, wow. Couldn't be more opposite. Yeah, I'm 200 miles from my hairdresser. Are you? Yeah, because I've moved to Devon But I've still got a hairdresser here

Have you spoke to an hairdresser About relocating? No, he wants to be tribeather What about me half-one swindon? How often do you want a haircut? Six weeks, I think. Very frequent. Is that?

I would say, I'm more like every four months. Really? Yeah, but it's different for longer hair. But your hair's really good at the moment Well, thank you. It's recent. Well, what I mean is I think it's been recent. You're not three months soon.

Okay, she's got a third. Three months in. Yeah. Yeah. How many days since you had your haircut, Nina? I had it done in July. No. No.

It's looking good for a month and a half. He doesn't take much. No. Welcome to a show, Nina. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Kids? I have two, but one is no longer probably legally called a kid anymore.

He's 22. And a 15-year-old. Okay. Is the 22 at home? No, the 22-year-old has moved out and he's in a flat with his girlfriend. Proper grown-up. God, that is a proper grown-up. Proper. How long have they been together?

They've been together about three and a half years. Yeah, fair enough. Right, okay, cool. I thought it was going to be like three and a half weeks and then it was going to get tense because you would hate that. That's insane, but you wouldn't really want to talk about it on the podcast. No, no, she's very much part of the family. Oh, that's nice.

Good. Yeah. Do you like the extra time you've got now? Or do you look at old photos and weep? Well, I still have a 15-year-old. I feel like I'm doing more. And I can't look at those photos because they hurt. Oh, yeah.

Really? What age is the hurts the hurts? What do you look at the photos? All of them. And I hate that my phone does that and just blindsides me in a normal day. And I go, I wish. I miss. Why can't I have a quick chat with that guy?

You know? Oh, God. I just really, sometimes I had a dream where I was outside the car and my 15-year-old was just like two and in the car seat. And I remember in the dream, which I guess is lucid dreaming because realizing this is an opportunity to meet him again. And I'd be wanting to see that guy again. And I opened the door and I went to lift him out.

And then it wasn't quite him. And it was like, then suddenly it was like that horrible spielberg. Like the changeling version, not this version, of course. How could I be so stupid to think I would get to meet him again? Of course it's not quite, you know. But, I mean, that goes to show how deep it goes. Are you okay? Are you okay?

Wait till your kids are just all about to leave and then like all of that just seems so halcyon. Yeah, yeah. And when you were in it, did it feel halcyon? When they were, when they were in it. She's sitting in the dream. No, I am stuck in that. No, when I was in it, it was, it was, oh, it's a mixture of glory and guilt and worrying, extreme concern, you know, and, you know, it's very difficult to ever think you're doing a good job as a parent. That's the worst bit.

That's what you must know and talk about a lot here. I mean, it's so difficult. And when the moments when you feel like you've never. I mean, they get, like, they last about a minute before. Yeah. So it crops up with like, oh, your self-congratulation. That's the thing that's crucial. It's not about me.

That's not well on how good this. That means I'm bad because it's not about me. Yeah. Well, we had a, talking to a mirror here, right? Yeah, you can see, yeah, you've got a lot in common. Well, we had an online safety expert on recently. And we were chatting to him and I was sort of going, yeah, because we've got these locks on, like the iPads.

for the kids. So they can't do that. At points felt a bit smug, found out about two days ago that one of the iPads has had no security whatsoever and they've just had access to anything you want for about three months. Oh wow. Wow. Can you see their history? Yeah. Is it that? Wow. Yeah. Was it, was it was, I think, dodgy, but it was definitely, uh, not ideal. Not ideal and definitely was getting access to bits of YouTube, which I didn't think this could have access to. And they're not supposed to. Your golf channel. My golf channel. She's addicted. Yeah. She's addicted. Yeah. She's Dixies to the golf. But yeah, we were a bit like, oh, yeah, it's good actually,

because all the things the experts are saying, I've actually doing, and it turns out I was doing none of them. But we're all failing. We're all failing. You're doing it now. You're doing it. I think my kids are actually in the worst era of that. Certainly the 15-year-old.

Because we didn't know, we didn't have the controls on. We weren't on top of that. And it's too late now, isn't it? And then it gets a bit late. Well, no, I got a brick. You've got a brick. I got a brick now for the 15-year-old. So has the 15 year old gone into that world and then retreated?

Well, all that horrible like manosphere stuff invaded his year when he was like 12, 13, well, actually 13, 4. Like the most vulnerable time was when they really went for the looks maxing and that was the age they were targeting. Oh my God. So like that adolescence for you was the exact age group and demographic for your boy. Exactly. That must have been a horrible watch. It was horrendous. And they all started using these new terms, like mugging and chopped.

And suddenly everyone was thinking about how they looked and everyone was in crisis about it. What is mugging and chopped? Sorry. I don't know. Did I make up mugging? Oh. That's a dangerous sounding word. I think that, I think it all, I think they just sort of mean ugly.

Right, right, right, right. I feel like this is the start of me. God, can someone quit Google, mugging? Mocking, Mugging. Google Moggin And what was the other one, chopped? Chopt is for real, I know. Mugging.

And so you were in that? I was in that and watched like that the boys in that year go from like sweet kids to kind of eating each other alive in a sort of doggy dog fashion of like like, you know, fear and what everyone. I mean, people terrified haircuts. We were talking about hair. Like all that kind of thing because you're going to be chopped. So what did you do about it? I took extreme. measures.

Did you? And they've worked out. Yeah, it kind of worked out. I just thought, well, I'm taking out of this. This is nonsense. So with the brick, hey? We went to America. Did you?

No, we came back, but like left. Oh, so you left to UK? I just went enough of this. This is nonsense. This is, you know, messing with your head. I'm taking you out. About six months. So just went out of school, just went out of school.

I just thought, well, listen, let's have a look. Yeah, this all seems like far too important. And this is the least important thing in the whole world. Let's go to Yosemite and climbing. It's like a very first world solution, I'm aware. No, but let's go climbing in Yosemite. But it doesn't have to, it could be different versions of that. But seeing the world and see there's a bigger picture here than this school group.

Yeah, exactly. Just no teaching or like homeschooling. A little bit, a couple of things we did like a couple of tutors and things. Wow. Amazing. It was, yeah, it was worth of. You saw a change as well then? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And just what not, but just your child sort of just maybe seeing that there's a bigger world out there other than this small group that I'm almost forced to being due to geography. I know and it does seem like everything in the world. I mean, it isn't important when you're in at school and you're going every day. It's so not really. Yeah, it's got to be. And that must have an amazing bonding trip. It was a special kind of year actually in the end. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, that's incredible. Yeah, it was good. I'm glad. And things are good now, but I could just see how insidious that was to the whole year group. Like, not just him. Yeah, everyone. Because they were targeted by these social media platforms and accounts.

And they were talking about breaking their jaws and, like, you know, just crazy stuff. What's to breaking the jaw stuff? Oh, to get better jawline. You're meant to, like, break the bone and it will reset and get bigger. Oh, my God. Like, all this stuff was. And they're obviously, because they're young and they're grown, think, oh, that'll make me be this alpha male.

Yeah. Oh, my God. So I can see what you're like just extracting them from the situation. You just have to take it. Yeah, that's incredible. So do you feel better about your YouTube stuff now, Role? Yeah, well, you know, I'm not trying to teach people how to get out of a bloody sand trap. I'm not changing draw to draw.

But yeah, that's it. That's it. It's mental. I guess that was about three years ago. So when they were like 12, 13, that age group. It's like 13, yeah. Wow. Yeah.

So, could I ask one about the brick? So does the whole family use the brick at night or weekends or is that? I have one for myself. I'm thinking about going a month without. How about that? Oh, here we go. No phone at all. I'm thinking about October, no phone.

But how will you contact the kids? I'll have a Nokia with no WhatsApp. I say I have to leave WhatsApp, which is of absolute pain. Yeah. But once you want to involve WhatsApp, you have to have one that's got everything. A phone and a simple. Do you've got to go to basic? I've got to, I'm a two phone guy.

Are you? I've got a personal one and a work one. So I've got no social media on it whatsoever. And all I've got on there is like the boring parking apps, my cards. Maps. Yeah. And maps and stuff like that. And then I just have given that number to like people like my wife and mum and stuff.

Yeah. So if I go out for the day, like I just take that. It's good. And I'm not on the other stuff during the week. That's very good. Yeah. I think the knock is too extreme. It's like I need maps.

You know, I thought maybe I don't need maps. You need maps. Oh. Oh, that's interesting. I think you need Matt. Well, I have a computer still. How do you travel around? I can't take your desktop in the car.

No, but... No, but you were used to not need maps. You need Matt. I'm sorry, you need maps. I went to France with my partner without a map, without a phone for five days, and I had a map. Driving around. Yeah, a natural map.

Paper map. I went back to the 80s. I mean... Do you know what I'd rather punch myself in the face of reset my jaw? I'm not going to a full mog. So talk to me about your paper map experience. What we did was we drove to Dover with Google and then we put the phones away. The rule was that when we got to France, that was it.

And then I sat in the passenger seat with this big one, which is so silly because sometimes, you know, it goes off the edge of a page and goes up to another page just for a little corner. Yeah, of course. And then you've got to go back to something. So there's a lot of flapping. Do you know what? This is some great observational from the 90s. It's back. But the first night was Ruan.

We just hit Ruan and then, so we found a parking garage by following P signs. We got out the car and we started walking around, went to a hotel, it was full, walked around, like, found another hotel and then asked them in the hotel. We stayed there. Can you speak French? Went there. Can you speak French? A little bit of French. You didn't, because you couldn't, you know, the things I would have done there, obviously, would be probably booked the hotel on my phone.

Yes, exactly. Translate everything on my phone. Yes. But you didn't have that. No. And did you feel, how much of this time did you spend talking about the fact you didn't have your phones? Oh. You must have felt really smote.

It was very smug. There was quite a lot of it. Quite a lot of it. And the funny thing was also I used Apple Pay all the time. Of course. So I was using a credit card and it really felt like time travel, you know, putting that in the slot. It was hilarious. Cash, you got a cash?

Get some cash out? I didn't actually get much cash. No. No. don't need cash. She said Franks. Yeah, Franks. And so you're going to do it for October?

So I thought maybe I'd do it for October. I mean, I'm not a woo-woo kind of person, but I think that this is about reclaiming your time. I know, isn't it? Because also as well, like you worry about the kids, you know, like younger kids that are sort of having their minds taken over about what they think's expected of them from these targeted social media accounts. But then like older generations, like,

My mum and dad will be on their phone a lot. A lot. Paint, Candy Crush, or just like scrolling through Instagram, just like liking AI thinking it's a real thing. Yes. If you want to have a laugh, go and find older family members that you're friends of an Instagram and look what they've either on purpose or accidentally reposted.

There are some absolute mental stuff my mum's doing. Can I ask you, because you're doing Taskmaster at the moment? Yes. Or you've done it, but it's on at the moment. and you're paired with Izzy Souti. Yes. She's a big antifoner, isn't she? Oh, well.

I was wondering whether she's got you. No, we didn't talk about it, but we did get on, so maybe we're in alignment. She's not got a phone? No, she has, but she likes to... Telephone. She likes to be big. She's a big on the no phones before 16 or whatever it is. Oh, really?

She's gotten, well, that's going to pay dividends for sure. It's a very good idea. So, well, we were at no phones before Secreys Schoolhouse, No social media until 16. Oh, it's so good. I'm so upset. We missed that. Yeah, but you were the first.

You also, it's not your fault. It was not your fault. You just got unlucky with when you had children. Yeah, should have hold out. And the 22-year-old, they sort of missed that a little bit. Yeah, it's kind of different. Yeah. It's different.

I mean, big on YouTube, but less on social media. It was all about YouTube, I think. It was like watching gamers and life. The sidemen and all that kind of stuff. It was massive. And that was that sort of era-breaking. Yeah. So.

What I want to say, though, is that when you do go away to France without your phone for five days, yeah, yeah, well done. You start to sense and feel like the flavour of the day. Like, it's something hard to explain, but time is yours. And it's just a bit like being alive. So, I mean, because the problem I find sometimes... Maybe I need to do this. Maybe I need to do this, me.

No. You might like that. Because I find sometimes you're on your phone, if you're on like a holiday, right, we're going to go here, we're going to go there. And then if we're going there, let me look on the maps to find out where the best bar. So you research, research, resurgent. And you get there. And you're not really there because you're in your head to thinking, well, how to get to the next place, what we do at the next place. And is this is actually, it looked a bit better.

Half the time when you follow something on your phone, you get there and you're a little bit like, it's not quite. I wouldn't give it five. But if you've stumbled across it. But when you stumble, it's about the same success rate. Yeah. I think if you're following your nose. and you're a bit more aware of it you walk past the place and you go

that looks nice and you sort of make a mental note I don't know Do you feel like you're sort of a visitor from another time? You do? Like Nicholas Lindhurst and Good Night Sweetheart I wish I knew that reference Do you not know that reference?

I know Nicholas Lindhurst is You know Goodnight Sweetheart where he basically gets Travel back in time to a wartime idea It's amazing you'll be better at the full pitch of this So Nicholas Lindhurst, Rodney Yeah Rodney So what were you doing in 1996 maybe when you weren't watching Good Night's Sweetheart? Because we were 10 or 11 watching it because we had no time.

That was old. I was already like I was doing a sort of subculture 24-hour play. Yeah, you're not watching Good Night Sweetheart. So Nicholas Lindhurst plays a guy from modern day Britain. Right. And he walks down an alleyway in East London and he's transported back to World War II London. and he basically lives two lives, one in modern Britain, one in East London during the Blitz. How does he combine them?

He kind of moves from one to the other. The classic, he's awful. He's shagging someone in the olden days and he's married in the news. Well, exactly. It's quite a weird sitcom actually when you look back on it. And yet you're meant to root for him even though he's having it away in the Anderson shelter. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Now, promo works. I'd tell you why promo works. Because I didn't know about your film. Oh. Right? Until I was reading up on it for this. And now I'm like, this sounds incredible. Oh, thank you.

And I'm going to watch it tonight. I should have watched it yesterday, but I only found out what you're promoting this morning because I'm really disorganized. He's a maminaubuf. He's getting his hair cut before. But it's also, it's part of the Nina Conti canon. Canon.

It is because, right? People know you, probably, I'd say this is fair, primarily for your double act. Yes. With Monkey. Yes. Is that fair? Well, maybe they now know me for my face masks on people. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's probably the forerunner now. But Monkey's like, been there for... The OG. The OG. The OG. It's five years now. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, so that was sort of like your Dyson Hoover. Yes. And now the face masking is almost like the hand dryer. The hand dryer. The elevator picture of this is so good, and I'm going to watch it, because I've read a review that was so glowing.

Oh, good. I've read the premise, and I loved it. Oh, good. Talk me through it. Well, two people. You're getting awkward now. I get nervous because I'm going to fund it. It's already been made.

Do you want me to talk through it, even though you know more about it? Well, you could try. Josh, you pitch it to me, and I'm the exec. Okay. So it's about a man and a woman who's in a monkey suit. Love story. Love story between them.

Road trip. This sort of made me think about it because you've already spoken about two road trips. So you're road trip obsessed. Crazy. Yeah. But they go dig up a grave. It's a love story between a man and a woman.

It doesn't want to come out of this monkey suit because of everything that's happened to in the past, she wears one for work. She's safer in it. She speaks her mind in it. She's like, okay, I'm going to keep this on. Okay, I can see why you've written this film. So I've gone full monkey.

But if it's a safe, It's kind of metaphor for what my life has been a bit like. Yeah, well, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, when the character becomes stronger than you. And he said, I actually would rather be that guy. It's more truthful. Are you aware of Frank's Eyebom? I am, but I still haven't seen the film,

and it felt adjacent, so I didn't want to watch it in the run-up. Well, the film's fictional, but the story's really interesting, because that is a situation where this guy, basically, is... Do you know Frank's eyebottom? He's got this big, big head. Very wide head. Very wide head. And the guy just was Frank's eye bottom, lived as Frank's eye bottom.

But it's like a real life version of what you've lived. But what you've lived is real life, I should say. Well, I mean, I met the Star Wars Creature Department for this part ahead on Star Wars that later got cut. And I met these guys who can make. any creature from any galaxy and was like, can you make my little monkey like a full-sized guy so that he walks into

the room like Jubacca, but he's there, you know? And that's what they did. Wow. And they did such a good job of it that when I got in it, I was like, oh my God, this is amazing. I like am him. And then I immediately booked an hour of stand-up at Soho Theatre, which I'd never done, you know, as just monkey. As monkey.

So I shared Nina. Oh, wow. And then I was like, I can do stand-up. It's so funny. I mean, it's such a convoluted way. But, you know, like, ever since I started, I sort of felt like slightly a lesser comedian than everyone else because I was like cheating with this funny little monkey.

I don't know. I felt like a special act back in the day. You know what I mean? And then I was like, see, I can do stand-up if I wear a full. And was monkey always your first, when you first stepped on stage as a stand-up, Was it you a monkey? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that was my first. And monkey was your suit of armour to sort of say what you wanted to say. Yeah, absolutely. And very soon it becomes like the unsensored, truthful voice. See, I think I'm searching for a Nina. Oh, really? Are you the right?

You're a monkey. Two monkey all around. Yeah, right. No, you don't want a normal voice. Why would you, why do you want a Nina? I think Nina's great. Well, I thought Nina could go. That was my.

I was ready. You've got enough of Nina. I was ready. I was like, she's got to go. Because it made me this like, fawning sort of apologetic or sort of giggily. Oh yeah. I can see.

What are you? Go. You just wanted to go out and be monkey. Yeah, just go do that. And so, I mean, that was the kind of premise. I started working with Shenoa Allen. And so he was like a different version of Nina. Yeah, from the pajama men.

And we started doing gigs as Monkey and Roy, who became the characters in the film. Yeah. in the film, the fallen love on this road trip in New Mexico. And so you write, direct. Yes. A co-write with Chanel. Co-write, sorry.

And direct. And you're in the suit. And I'm in the suit. I'm in the suit. So I'm not reviewing a lot of takes. So you can't, you don't go behind the camera in the suit. No, I trust the cameraman, James Kwan, who was very trustworthy. Okay.

He was like, did we get that? I think we've got it. Have you had other performers that you sort of people to do? sort of things or, you know, are their version of a monkey? Come from and go, that's me as well. I've been using that as my suit of armour. Totally. I'm getting DMs like, you wouldn't believe, like

this is me. This episode is brought to you by Axe Health. Family is a strange thing. You can be related, but you are completely different people, aren't you? I mean, you've got one kid who needs a plaster for a microscopic scratch. Another who wants to keep playing football after twisting an ankle. I think, Rob, we know that I'm the first one,

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Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. But I guess it does speak to gender as well because Monkey is not a woman, really. It's not really a guy either. It's sexless. And that is a relief to step into. But everyone has a version of that. When they go to work or meet family,

they have something that they present that isn't fully them. It's the safest thing to be in that moment. We look at Johnny Vegas, really. That's the whole character. Yeah. Whereas he's such a gentle, calm soul really.

Yeah. But then he's this big force of energy. Yeah, exactly. So it's been a route. So it came out in 2024, did the festivals. Did it? No, five. Five.

Sorry. Five. But now it's got general release. And now it's got general. And now it's on prime. And that takes a long time. Yeah. How does that feel?

Bit by bit, it's like, oh, we're going to show these festivals. And why do they do it like that? God knows. I think it's a worst way. Well, maybe it's just because it's my first time I didn't know. I was ready when I came out the editing room to put it online. You know, I'm like, it's done. Let's get it out there and sort of have to be held back

because they're looking for the right deal. Oh, God. Did you have any premieres or screenings? We had premieres here and there. Who did you go as? I did take him. Yeah, did you. I did take him.

But Nina went, but you did have Monkey with you. I did. I regretted it, though. I thought it would be good photo opportunity, because it premiered at the Edinburgh Film Festival and I had him in a back Oh, also no, first it came out in New York That was it, it was in New York

And I had him like So I was sitting at the back for the first screening And I had him in a suitcase And I sort of ran to the toilet and got in And it was so hot and so You got into the outfit Oh I thought you meant a little monkey You know, full monkey soon

The big guy It was a slightly different sort of vibe And so yeah And I got into him And then it was hot. And there's very little visibility or oxygen. So you get kind of out of puff. And I thought that was too much.

It's enough to be premiering your film and just go and do the Q&A. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't make it so hard. All right. You turn it into like Mrs. Doubtfire sketch. You run in between the screening rooms getting changed as the monkey. Yeah. And have you, have you seen it?

Yeah, they have. Yeah. When you've got older kids like that. So you were, so 22, so you've been doing kind of stand-up their whole life, presumably. I have. Yeah. Yeah. Realisation for you.

Good. Yeah. What a worry. How much did they, have they followed your career? Well, Arthur came to Edinburgh, watched a lot of Edinburgh shows. I mean, that was kind of what he did instead of university. He just, like, because he's, you know, he's just like, because he. if you do see a load of shows, it's almost like life lectures, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes to 40 at least every time he comes to Edinburgh. He goes to loads. So it shaped... I genuinely think Edinburgh is a great place. You can learn a lot about life there because not necessarily everyone's going to give you great advice. They're also going to give you advice to do the opposite of. Avoid, yeah.

Which is quite helpful. And the main thing that will come over is tell your story, which is a really healthy thing to observe people doing. So he's an actor now, though. So we'll see what happens. Okay. So it's an acting dynasty. I know. I tried to sidestep that because I found that cringy.

I didn't want to be the daughter of an act, only doing acting because I was from a family. I was very concerned about the nepo baby thing before the phrase was coined. Yeah. So I became a ventriloquist. Did you want to be an actor originally? I did. Yeah.

But I'm glad I failed. How did get into ventriloquism? Well, that was an error And it was like I don't know I thought I'd just do it for a bit But it took off Yeah

So but that was because of Ken Campbell When I talked about what I was doing in 1996 And I talked about a 24 hour Subcultural play When no one slept That was his brain child And he did lots of strange things Yeah

He was a truffle pig for forgotten art forms And he said, You should be a ventriloquist And I rolled my eyes and thought, oh, no, please. And then I sort of gave it a go and then thought, actually, I like that. Yeah.

That's different. I liked it because of that little monkey, which I happened to have. So you've had the monkey anyway. I don't think I would have liked it if I had one of these, you know, I tried with one of these old woodeny guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Give me the ick. You've got kids that have grown up with you performing, but you have grown up as the daughter of a famous performer. Yeah. I was remembering something about that. The other day that was really painful. Okay. My dad made a film when I was about nine or ten where he played the Pope and it was in Rome.

Right. And I remember my mum going up for the... Was your mum an actor as well? Yeah. Yeah. But she mainly was my mum. Yeah. And she sort of gave up acting to look after me.

And my dad was the one who was where his career was taking off. She had a better career when she got pregnant. But then his... took off and he was making money so it sort of made sense and she just looked up to me anyway so that was probably painful for her in its own way but when he was making this film as the Pope there was a part for her that she could have got

so he gave he got her I remember him doing this green test kind of at home with her yeah just to try and get her in this film she wore a grey wig which was interesting and then but there was also this girl in it who was like my age that was this other thing but I didn't get to audition for that.

And then we went to Rome to visit. My mom didn't get the part and met this other family that got the part. You know, this like beautiful woman who wasn't in a grey wig, Dad. Why do you? That's a bum steer. And then this beautiful girl.

And just as the sort of family sitting on set feeling like a little bit like, you've been replaced. Yeah, we're not, yeah, we're the shit real ones. Especially when you're nine and ten, that feels. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like, oh, this is interesting. So, and then, yeah, so you just sort of, a lot of that was me and my mom kind of making time off set and sometimes you'd visit set, but it wasn't ever a great feeling. It was kind of exciting, but you were sort of in the way.

Yeah. Someone might give you a kick out and put you on a chair to sit, but it wasn't, you didn't fully belong. No. It was a bit weird. That's quite interesting, isn't it? Because do you think that like with your, if your kids come to something. Yeah. Do you, I, I, I, think of it as a treat. Do you know what I mean? But maybe it's not like that for them because you're going, oh, I've just got to go and do this, I've just got to go and do that.

And they're just kind of, we've all been taken to work by our parents. And you feel like you're in the way a bit. If it's a film set, it doesn't make it better than if it's an accountancy firm. You do get the feeling, you know, dad, daddy's special, you know, because you see the way people are treating him and he's, like, everything is, the doors of just opening all the time, things of being given to him, gifts and you know, all of that. So there's

something, I guess there's something kind of nice about that as a kid or you just sort of think something's a bit special but you don't get it. That era though, like kids at work was sort of like a no-go where it has moved a lot on in like one or two generations. We're having kids at the place of work is a bit more

chilled, do you know what I mean? Like even the last like 10 years of like sort of like, you know, Catherine Ryan's, I think,'s been amazing with that, well, she'll go on shows pregnant or bring the baby out to breastfeed and talk about it and get my kids over there rather than it being like a dirty secret of your kids at work with you and stuff. Yeah, very good

on all that. But yeah, because it is you're just sat there watching. There's a great scene in Get Back where they're watching the, they're listening to the mixes of Let It Be and they've got Linda McCartney's kids are just there, kicking around. And I think that looks like an absolute nightmare. to have them there. Yeah, right.

To be fair, though, if they can write it be with kids about, I mean, you can be the Pope. Yeah. But it's great for not being like school is the full story again, I guess. You're getting this other sort of world and it was, there were exciting elements to it.

My favourite thing was when I was five and I went to see his, he was in a musical for a bit. I went to see it 25 times. You want to see it 25 times? How old did you? I was about five. And then sometimes they didn't sell the boxes in the theatre. And so I would get the box if they hadn't sold the box.

And you'd go on your own. And I go on my own, sit in the box and watch the musical. Wow. What was the musical? They're playing our song. I was heard of it. No. But you know it word for word.

I do. I do. So how did you manage your career when you had the kids then? Because obviously, traveling, touring. I took them always. I took them always. And Stan, like their dad, we were on tour together actually sometimes. And we'd do one half and then I had the baby.

over and then one of us going on the second half. We were doing the Avalon network with that. Oh yeah. So you'd just be doing Avalon gigs and then... I mean that doesn't mean anything to people at home. You'd be doing Northampton Pictodrome and then you'd be taking... There's the awful university gigs.

Oh God. They're hard those unigues. And just like holding a baby in the yeah, in the sort of toilet I guess it was. Oh my God. When I said that's that comedy I thought the unigigs would be like rock and roll but they're just like scared 18 year olds. just like,

yeah, awful. And you feel about 100 years old, the moment you get to a university, even if you're, I was like 27 and I'd still be like, this is, there's no connection.

No, completely gone. Do they remember being on the road of you and stuff? Do they talk about it or? I think Arthur will remember a bit better. It was a bit late. For my 15 year old, it happened less.

I think we sort of established a family and worked out how things work and he doesn't have to be in my backpack the whole time. I'm a bit more organised. But my mum also travelled the world with me to Melbourne and all that and Montreal with a baby.

I want to help look after. Yeah, she really made it possible to keep working. God, she did the same thing again. She did it with you and then she did it. I know. But guess what? She's 80 now, 83 and she's just on her third in a row, Edinburgh Festival.

She's doing her own show now. No. She's going, I'm going to have my time. I've done you. Oh, wow. Yeah. So she's got a one woman show. What's her?

What's her? That's amazing. Yeah, it's pretty good. How nervous were you the first time you saw her do? I was nervous, but she's quite funny when she talks to the audience. It's really, I think she should do only that, actually. Yeah. She should do only that.

What was the show called? This last one, well, she did Beryl Cook, the artist. She does an artist each year. And she does, like, she plays them. she does a painting by them and then she talks their story as them whilst painting. Oh wow, that's cool.

Yeah, it's pretty cool. Is it all such a performer family? I know, isn't it? I'm trapped like. I want to ask you about a performer. I want to know if you remember this. Do you remember me and you doing a gig together? Together?

We've, not on stage together. Sorry, sorry, yeah. He was the monkey for the first time. We just before had a gross per. We did a gig together. Yeah. with Lembert OPEC. Oh yes, underground.

Yeah. In Soho or something. Yeah, it was one of the weirdest nights of my life. What was that? No, he'd moved on from the... Oh, but that was in the... Cheeky girl era. It was that era.

He'd just been... He'd just been voted out of Parliament, so it would have been... He'd just been voted out of Parliament, so 2010 it would have been. Yeah. And they had actually kind of orchestrated the gig for him to... to do this performance. Yeah, he was mates with the guy, and he did, I think he did, you know, like, he'd never done it before and he did something like 20 minutes, which is obviously too long.

Yeah. And my own, my memory, so you'd been on before him, because I think he closed. Right. You can't phone, neither can't, it will be open. No, and he did, um, he did ventriloquism with his shoe. He took his shoe off. Oh, gosh, I forgot that. Yeah.

So do you, you've got vague memory. I do remember. I mean, yeah, I'm in the room. I can picture this all happening, but I don't remember his material. I remember sort of think it was a little bit of a hit and misses. It was, it was. It wasn't like awful. No. Servicable. It was serviceable, but it was a weird night. Yeah, very weird. And where did you go on? You went on before him too. Yeah, we all went on before him. I think he was closing. Bold.

Bold, especially. Because I said to Robert's before you got here that I would list you in the acts I'd least like to follow on stage. Which is a compliment, obviously. They just go mad for it, the crowds. And it makes everything a little bit dizzy. It's just so funny. When you, like, stumble across bits, because I feel like when you're of intriloquist,

a certain bits you have, or the way you deliver it, where you just go, I know that absolutely kills every night. Like, how does it feel having those bits or moments coming up? Because if the gig's not going, well, it does it make you feel more confident? Because it must have been such a smug feeling, because I felt like it was so much of it's sort of all in the delivery,

but if you've got a set piece type thing, you know that 99 times it's going to work. Yeah, it's good having, that's also like something so great about having that monkey, like the stillness of his face, the stature of his stillness. Because you can get a wobble on if you're feeling like this isn't going well, but he's like solid.

He's staring him out. Staring him out. He's still away someone to throw to, isn't it? Yeah. Because that Terry Alderton used to that thing where he faced the wall. Yeah. Talk probably. Oh, yeah.

It's almost a similar dynamic where it's like there's someone else on stage with him. Yeah. But it's in his mind. And obviously you've got the monkey. I know, no, it's great. But now I don't really use the monkey as much and I'm doing, well, I don't have bits anymore. But I do have chaos with these people in their masks. And like, so it's always unscripted now, which is really, a whole thing.

Oh, my God. I just worked out it was funnier. Is there a set piece without giving it a word? way, do you not fall into bits that you've done before? Well, there are some, I mean, this comes up a lot. When you ask someone, how did you meet or what are you doing later or something? They go like this. Yeah.

And I've called that sucking dick every time, you know. Yeah, of course. It comes up all the time. You're a professional. You're not going to miss that opportunity. You've got to tap the ball in. That's the one that comes up again and again. But now, I mean, like I've posted that.

That's been. seen a million times so I'm like now I'm kind of going you know what that hand gesture of me you know it's like I've got to think of other things what other things could there be people like to see the hits yeah people like to see this I know wanking off a draught

yeah robin a blow job that's in that's going in that's I'm going to try that yeah milking a massive cow yeah done a lot of cow driving yeah driving and this which is the keyboard that's like a massage or the piano

You've got to think of other things. I want to think of other things because you don't want to just get stuff on those. This is a great game. So do you... That? Is that? Something in the eye? The eye.

Yeah. I don't know. It's wanking my eye. Sorry about that. I mean, you've got to throw enough against the war and something will stick. Sometimes it's too sticky. So when did you decide I'm going to go with no stick anymore? Because I had a stooge who I paid when I first started doing the mask and he would come. And one time he couldn't come.

He was late or something. He signed his own death warrant. He made himself obsolete. I did it for about six months with him. There were maybe about three people that would do it with me. And that was a very basic bit where I'd just say, I want to dance. And then he would, like, act a bit shy. And then he would dance.

Yeah. I mean, I shouldn't out myself. But anyway, I don't do that ever anymore. So that was about six months. And then he didn't turn up. And it was just, like, way funny. Yeah, and more fun for you. More fun for me.

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Now it's official. You can now earn Canadian Tire money at Tim's. Link your Triangle Rewards and Tim's Rewards accounts to earn twice with every Tim's run. Terms and conditions apply. Visit timhordens.com slash triangle for details. When I was supporting Stephen Merchant on tour, He used to do a bit at the end.

He used to do a bit at the end. That was pretty good. That was really nice, wasn't it? Very good, Rob. No notes. To be fair, we set that up on his stooge. Can we do that in front of six times? I've never met Stephen Merchant.

He used to bring two people at the audience at the end for this like set piece. It was really great. Yeah. But you'd see it like we must have done 80 dates or whatever And he kind of established that the more confident the people were To come out often the worst they were And I've heard Darren Brown say If someone wants to be picked he doesn't want to pick them

Because is it the same with you? Yes, I don't want anyone too keen Because it gets silly Yeah Yeah And they do too much And then it all looks Well yeah, it just looks wobbly and dumb

So how do you pick the then now do you look for something that doesn't want to be picked someone stable someone's stable someone nice

don't want to like that yeah yeah but then at the end I throw some of them in if I'm getting like a whole line of people at the end

you get some of those so I love doing crowd work right and like big pop up show I'd love to be able to do a show of just you know

I think about an hour is the most you can do unscriptive because it wanes I think if it goes on for longer but I found certain when I do crowd work

some places are bang up for it to the point where they're too chipper. Like sometimes on a Friday night in Liverpool, everyone's so confident there's too much, but actually like midweek in Liverpool, it's perfect. But then sometimes in Cambridge on like a Tuesday night, are there places where you go,

it's harder to get that improv going if they're too reserved or is normally fine across the board? Reserved is lovely. That's better for you. It's lovely, yeah. And bonkers has been, I don't know, you've got to just remember there's no rules. And you go with what, you've been grateful for what you'll,

you go out and you find the way. It has to be. It has to be. Because I don't think it's true that anyone, that you want someone like really timid. But it can work. Yeah. I guess you don't want like 10 in a row of that.

No. Have you had anyone just burst into tears and ran away? Just didn't want to do it. Thankfully not. I mean, that's my nightmare. That's what keeps me awake at night. No, not so funny. It's front at the stage join.

There was a 12 year old girl whose family were up and they like brought her up and then she didn't want to. she wouldn't set down. Oh, that's the best way to do that. Yeah. Does it feel weird then doing a film where everything, you know, there's something about your stage,

it's almost like the opposite, right? Because your stage show is a one night only live event that can't be captured in any way is, you know, you don't know what it's going to be beforehand. You probably, you know, whatever will be. Film you're like, this is it. This is the script. This is the shot.

This is everything. Yeah. But I also, we did go further than that whenever we were able. We had time. We would improvise into it much more. And then I also had Christopher Guest, spinal tap, was my exec. So I was like phoning him and going like, how do we do this? And he was like, you've got to have two cameras.

Because the camera one camera to begin with. That was like massive piece of luck that I had that conversation with him. But he was just saying, no, we had such a limited budget. Don't get a script editor who tells you where you put your cup. God, forget all that. Just go with it. It's going to be hard later in the edit, but just do it. And that was really like the thing that makes some of those scenes really sing

is that we were off script. So it does feel a lot more real. How did you get Christopher Guest? Well, I'd worked with him before. I worked with him. I first had a bit part in. for your consideration. Oh, right.

And then I did an HBO series with him. Oh, my God. Called Family Tree. So I knew him from that. Did you, I'm going to ask a tangential question that's completely different now. Do you know, B.T. Edmondson, who is Jennifer Saunders and Adrian Emerson's daughter. No. So she got to go to friends when they're in the UK because her mom was in it.

Oh, so did I? Yeah. I was going to say, did you go to that? I did go to a recording. That was cool because they rewrote. The scene right up until the last minute. They were changing things. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, noticed that. So, and that's probably the most iconic part of friends as well, isn't it? The wedding. When they come to the, when they come to the UK. The wedding. Were you there for the, I take you Rachel's scene where he, I mean, that's a big ask to ask you to memorize that. I don't remember.

I think the thing I saw, Monica and, I think they were in bed. Oh, yeah, yeah. Monica and Chandler were in bed for a scene that I saw. Yeah. I don't remember exactly, but it was, it did feel like, that did feel like an important one. That was mega, yeah, such a huge show. At the time, yeah. Yeah, that was like a huge cultural moment, wasn't it?

Yeah, crazy. Are you got any tour dates coming up with this show? I'm doing like a monthly show at the Leicester Square Theatre, or I get other people to come on and do little bits, but... And then that's all, again, unscripted when it's your behalf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, brilliant. That's a great venue, Lesa Square Theatre.

I love Les Square Theatre. I love Les Square Theatre. He's character performs there quite a lot. Do you want to do more films? Yes, I do. Do you always plan to do that? Yes, but you know, there are other things I want to do one of everything. Oh, yeah.

I've done a film, so I'm going to do an animated feature also with Shanoa next. And then I don't know, maybe another film. And will this be sort of monkey wheelhouse or totally new thing? I think it's going to be different, yeah. I might have taken that monkey and his full journey. Maybe not. You never know, you never know. Oh, my words.

I don't know what the next evolution. is beyond I've become the monkey the monkey then becomes me I don't know where is the monkey right now yeah he's in a suitcase because I did a corporate

gig last night not always the improvising artist are you I bet that rooose if you get the boss up at a corporate do you get the boss up and put the face on him I don't get someone that everybody knows because I'm not in on that context, really. True, because they're in jokes then, isn't it?

Yeah, I don't want to be the dumb dumbest one in the room. What I'd kill when I do a corporate to have that mind of the last. Oh, yeah. Has it ever gone terribly wrong at a corporate? Corporates are high wire, yeah. Oh, they're so difficult. They're so difficult. And sometimes, like, I feel a bit safer now, a bit more known on the, you know, on the socials and everything.

but they used to Santo say you're a surprise so you think no don't make me a surprise no one's going to know who I am don't make this a reveal it was just like a what big smoke machine yeah I have one of them once and he said you're a surprise and then he went on and he said

you may know him from Dara O'Brien's month the week and he's done Dara O'Brien School of Hard Sums I was like this is a disaster I think he mentioned Dara three times in my intro.

Out I come up. Absolute disaster. Because I come once where they had me as a surprise and I come out and then there wasn't sort of any cameras on a big screen so it's quite far away. Oh yeah. And it's sort of just a little bit of one's for first

because they don't, you know, sometimes say your name. And then I could just like, I wish for like, he's a, he's a, with a teeth. He's a little bit of teeth. Hello! Oh, it's painful.

And they put a dance floor in front of you. Oh, it's awful. And they're miles away on the other side of the dance floor. Amazon Prime. Sunlight. Sunlight. Sunlight. Sorry, I didn't say that.

Sunlight on Amazon Prime. Is it one of those ones on Amazon Prime where I then have to pay for the film? No, you don't have to pay. It's included. It's included on Prime. I hate that on Amazon Prime. It's also on the other ones. It's on Apple TV and YouTube.

Oh, is it? But you would have to pay on those. But it's included on your... Prime. It's included on your prime. Well, brilliant. Well, good luck with it. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. It's been an absolute joy. That was, Nina Conti. Can you believe we've been sat like this for the whole interview watching it? And Josh has had his hand up my ass the whole time. I know.

And it feels great. I can see why she got a full suit. Bye. Where some see heroes and other see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. A fad to some, the future of money to others. We see crypto's trillion dollar swings, the end of jobs, or the end of human struggle.

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