Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S13 EP27: I get coarse when I'm tired

Episode Date: October 20, 2026

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Hello, Intact Insurance. This episode is presented by Tui. Look, you've got to love a family holiday, Josh. Oh, you've got to love it. Who wouldn't love it, Rob? You know what the problem with the holidays is, right? You don't get enough of them. That's the problem.

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Well done, Ben. There you go, Rob. There you go. Josh, I'm having some technical issues here. Why? Normally, on my other computer, I right click and can pin your little picture, but I can't...

How do you right click on a Mac? You hold down control, or is it shift? Here we go. Yeah, here we go. My friend in the media strikes again. Too right. Eight months at the Guardian... Where are you?

Where am I? Can I be honest? I don't actually know. Okay. I'm in a hotel. I don't actually... I couldn't tell you when I am right this second

about doing Google Mac. The traitors again. You're not back on traitors, are you? This is Theo, age 36 months from Bristol. We have recorded this in the depths of potty training.

Long-time listener. Fun fact, Josh one stayed in my house. Oh, what? In Bedminster, Bristol, 2009. Having needed a place to stay after he gigged at a comedy night called Opo, yes.

when my housemate, Jared was the combat, Jared Hardy. Do you remember Jared Hardy, Rob? No, I don't think I give with him, but I weren't a big deal in the West Country like you. Well, I... I wasn't moving and shaking around the mean streets of Bristol. Too right. The big three. On the Crescent.

Oh, Rob, I'd be doing Opo a lot of Sundays, loves Jared Hardy. He ran it, he kind of took it over from Mark Olver, and he ran it with Finn Taylor and Matt Ewins. What's Opo mean? It's just the name of the comedy night. I don't know why it was called that. Big fan of both Josh and Robin, listen to the podcast every week.

My wife Heather and I are also big fans of Josh and Strictly. Stay sexy and relatable. Adam, 478 months. Go on, Adam. Back in out. Once Jared Hardy's flatmate is 478 months, that's when you know you're old. That is the first sign you're old. I feel old.

Do you? Then I'm not 478 months. You're a young buck. He must be about the same age as me, and I was much older than Jared. Anyway, maybe he was an older person living with young students. No, maybe you're just two old men that lured back a young promoter to a random house in Bristol when you had power in the situation and privileged due to being the main headline act. I could tell you now, in 2009, I was not headlining.

I had no power in the situation. No? Okay. I would have been doing the 10 spot. Opening up your ars cheeks on the sofa. Oh, that's a shame. I'm tired. I've gone in heavy.

I do that. You do that. but you do do that, don't you? Yeah. When I'm a bit tired, I'm going heavy. You get coarse when you're tired. Horse, of course. I'm a bit of horse as well, actually.

So tell me, tell me. Well, I know the name of the hotel brand. Malmaison. No, no, I'm not going to say what it is because I'm about to fucking rip it to pieces. Okay. Are you in Manchester? No, no.

So I'll tell you my movements. I am in my new world of trying to be at home more and present. I'm doing all my work in all my work in, one period and then having a buffer completely full buffer. So I'm going no buffer for a few days to full complete buffer. Okay. You know, a limited buffet buffer. So how many days of buffer free life for you?

How many days? Monday we did podcast, didn't we? Yep. And then I went up to London to do Nevermind the Buscocks. Yep. Stayed overnight. The next day, travelled up to Manchester to do eight out of ten Casas countdown. That finished at quarters of 12 last night.

Of course it does. Yeah. So, of course, it's the best time to do maths, I find. Yeah. Five hours back to back, quarters to 12 finish. To be fair, you can't really do daytime records because there's a lot of rehearsing that goes into all the mad. There's so many mad set pieces. Of course.

Of course. So, so funny last night. Anyway, did that. That finished at quarter to 12. So then I jumped in a taxi and then drove, well, I got in a 3 a.m. You're not back on your Coventry Industrial Estate. You're home from home. No, no.

I'm at a hotel. Do you know what? The hotel looks amazing. I walk through all the facilities and it looked... Not really from where I'm looking. Well, this is what I'm going to get to. I've got to my room and it feels like my last days on earth at the shittest old people's home that's ever existed. There's just nothing in there.

There's no coffee. I've not even any instant coffee. Where are you geographically and why aren't you at home? Because tonight I've got to do filming again. Where? At a studio. and I'm not telling you what it is, so let's not go down this route. What's going on?

Well, at the moment, I'm not near anywhere that says a town in big letters. So have you stopped halfway? No, but I needed somewhere with good internet because I had to do this. You can't get good internet in London, to be fair. But I didn't want to, if I carried into London, that can creep into a 4-5 AM. And then it's 10 a.m. we're starting this. And I was like, right, if I do that, at least I can, because I haven't got to be there till tonight. Is your studio in London?

I know you've been coy about where your studio is. No, my studio is not in London. Anyway, so I'm a little bit wavy. I haven't had a coffee, difficult. And the hotel is an absolute piece of shit. But I think I'm in the old room, to be fair. So you do this till 12, and then what do you do? I'm getting picked up a three.

So I've got late checkout. So a few options. Just stare at the ceiling. Maybe go for a walk. Haven't really packed like clothes. No, I might go. Did you not want to go down for breakfast? No, because I was exhausted and I slept till half nine

and then I had to set up my little home studio. Oh my God. And I think at this stage of tiredness, I don't think I can go and have breakfast with couples in bath, dressing robes, about to go for a spa day. Oh, is it a spa hotel? Yeah.

Why do you have a lovely massage? Well, I mean, it's caught past 10 now. Go down and say, can I have a lovely massage at 1pm? Well, at the moment, I can't have a fucking lovely cup of instant coffee. So, I mean, it's... Can I have a Ness Cafe and a lovely massage? I might like lovely massage, but I doubt they'll have availability. I might go for a walk, but it's pissing down with rain.

And when I left London, it was, I don't know what's going on with the weather at the moment. I don't know when this is going out. I don't know if this is some bad observational, but there's never, there's never room for a massage when you try and book on the day, is there? No, no, they're back to back. Well, quite literally. Go on. Go on.

Back to hand. Boop, boop. So, we're doing a sort of thing at the moment where it's autumn between about 6 a.m. and 10 a.m. then it's peak summer until about four and then it's freezing again so i left my house it was raining this morning i got rained on it's not helping but you did choose it oh back was against the wall unfortunately ideally face down on a massage table but um it was the only option it was a very well there was someone else who was going to go but then they canceled last minute so we end up here we fight on we plot we podcast another day and how much have you got to do tonight so

yeah, I've got a bit of work tonight. You must be knackered. I am quite tired, actually, but just this little bit of talking just rev me out. Because those 8 out of 10 cats does countdown records. I've only ever done a single one,

a double one is brutal. Yeah. A single one's pretty tough. No, it was good though. It was, I'm tired. It was actually really fun. I don't, I mean, they're fun, but they are.

No, but sometimes they're not always fun. Let's be 100% honest about everyone's lives there. But last night, it was really. fun so I feel a bit tired but that bit excited tired after going to like a really fun night out or a wedding what did you do in the car well this is my problem in the car josh you as car sleeper i am i've got a great phone life balance as we've discussed in detail i'm not going to go into that again however when i'm in a car i am scrolling hard the thumb is in full doom scroll mode and i am hammering it for hours well maybe you need to do your family family phone maybe i need to bring my family phone

so that when I'm in a car alone for four hours through the night I can really just lock in on that. You could watch a film or so, but it might steer you to do something more worthwhile with your... Yeah, I should just try and sleep, really. I slept for a little bit, but I got out and had a Wii services. That was a highlight. Yeah, I've got a development in my...

You know my sleeping in the car situation when I got home the other night? Yes, you're sleeping in the car, sit you're good at that. Do you remember... No, but when I had to sleep outside of my house in the car. Oh, yes, yes. You know, I found... the um the

air pod yeah so i was looking at it i don't know if i did drop it where it was it's got teeth marks all over it oh so do you think he fell out the car and a fox chewed it for a bit and then moved it about look i've wondered whether i can get this and you're still using that in your ears but i don't know what else to do

oh you're going to get rabies rabies it's scabies here we're not going to get rabies you said you're feeling a bit under the weather drinking you got rabies can you get rabies from your ear Michael can you go Google, can you get rabies from the ear? Have I got here, rabies? Are you sent it to me?

It's coming now. I mean, oh yeah, that's definitely, something's chewed that. Yeah, I've got, I'm at... By the way, Josh, excellent photo. Thank you. Put that on your photography, Insta. You just can really... Well, this is the Apple, this is the Apple iPhone...

Camera. Camera. Have you sent David's iPod case back yet? No. You've been a very busy boy. I might do that after this. might do that after this. Yeah, well, yeah, what are you doing?

So, you're, because you're... So tired. I'm so tired. You're back down to London, obviously, for Strictly, but you went up to London again for other shows. I filmed a show on Monday night. Yeah. So I had to go up Monday after the podcast, yeah?

Yeah. Filmed show Monday night. And then I had a, not an office run through, but not a full-blown pilot, that kind of situation. Yeah, okay. Well, you're trying to put pilot a new idea? Yeah, well, I'm not, but I was involved in it, yeah. But like I was asked to do it.

So I sat. So we did a kind of run through some commissioners and then I got the train back. So I haven't had a effing moment. No. And then that was yesterday afternoon. You come back? I got back at quarter past nine in the evening. Oh, that's a shame.

Now you're back doing this. Now I'm back doing this. You got the afternoon off? I've got a strictly Zoom script read through. Right. And then tomorrow you're back down to London? I've got a haircut in London. You have your hair cut a lot, don't you?

I do, yeah. I have really fast growing, I don't want to brag, but I've got quite fast growing hair. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. Don't brag away, just be confident what you got. It's fine. Yeah, people comment on it. You've never, but other people have commented that I have fast growing hair. Really, that you grow so quick?

Yeah. Right, so you got hair cut. I mean, I'm an every six weeks guy. Are you having any time off next week in the week? Oh, man. So I've got it takes two tomorrow. I'm worried about your. diary. I'm worried about your diary, Josh. So I've got podcast on Monday. We seem to just be

podcasting every moment of, why are we doing so many podcasts? What's going on? Now, Josh, I, look, I'm going to defend Michael here. No, I know. I'm not, I'm not saying we're not, but what's happened? Why is, why? Half terms coming up. Right. So we're not available as much because of the kids are off. I'd say, Josh, you give Michael, we give Michael about three hours on a Monday morning. Yeah. consider how much time we give to other things. I know, yeah, no. But we just seem to...

Is that fair, Michael? Do you feel like you've been stood up for there? Yeah, I appreciate that. I mean, I didn't feel attacked anyway, but I appreciate you stepping in. No, but I'm saying, if anyone's forensically looking at Josh's diary, I don't think the podcast is the problem.

But I'd say, I'd say Michael, I'd say Michael himself would be going, God, we're podcasting a lot at the moment. I don't think Mike... We're podcasting a lot of the moment, yeah, definitely. this morning, I went, oh, fucking hell. There is three weeks coming up where we're not recording any parenting. Three weeks.

That's why. Right. Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah, we were. I don't think Michael, in his defense, Michael's not going, oh, yes, please, more parenting hell because I don't have enough fit in my life. I want to do a bit more.

Like, I think all the three of us, like, we love the podcast. Yeah. Is this you breaking up with us because you're on strictly. No. No. What I would say, and I think I speak for all of us, we're doing the bare bit of them. What on the podcast?

Amount of hours. What, to film it? I don't think we're thinking, if Michael came to us, Rob, and he said, I want to take things up a notch. I think if we make each podcast record an hour and a half and then edit it down to the same length, it'll be better. I don't think it'll be better, though, when we say we're not, we're doing the better minimum,

we have started a new podcast and flown to Stockholm to talk about podcasts. I'd say that we've upped it slightly. We have upped it slightly. I would also like to say to the untrained eye, to the untrained eye, it looks like we're doing the bare minimum. But in the same way, if you watch Lionel Messi on the pitch now, it looks like he's not moving or running much. Save it for Monday.

So you're from the standing of the comedic space. Oh, there you go. It's just efficient. We know what we're doing, guys. We don't waste a single minute. We are not wasting money on writing rooms for all that back-to-back, back-massage pun stuff. That's coming in. I can put some people in the background to laugh all your jokes if you want.

Oh my God. Yes, please. Maybe also if they're moving, my light won't keep turning off. Oh, God, I'm so tired. Look, I'm actually feeling all right now. I feel like you're getting, you're pumping me up, lads. So you've got, let's talk about your daughter. Next Monday.

This, again. Podcast. And have you got a few days? off before Strictly again? I've got Tuesday off. Lovely. Perfect. Then last leg's back.

Excellent. Great news. Yeah. And that'll make that, do you know what that will do is... Chill me out. That'll chill you out and give you a bit more energy. Exactly.

It's an autumn of the big three. Last Legs Strictly in the podcast. You've got this, Josh. I've got it. But you don't go up to London any earlier from doing last leg. No. So that's good. Yeah.

I've got some plans as well, actually. Go on. Oh, yeah. planning a road trip to Belgium and also called Holland. Netherlands. Yeah, what's the deal with that? Tough with the old planning, isn't it? When you don't know where you're going.

Yeah, what's the deal with? I don't know what the deal is with that. No, but I always forget. Because when I was a kid, they were interchangeable. You could either say Holland or Netherlands. Yes. But now it really is Netherlands. Yeah, so what's that about?

I don't know. No? Okay, right. because, yeah, I always get confused. Then I go to say Amsterdam as sort of like a happy medium, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So I'm going to go to Antwerp. And I was Googling.

Sorry, what? We're breaking up the journey to go to Antwerp on the way. Is this family? Yeah, I'm just going on my own. No, I thought it was going to be like a football weekend or something when you said Holland and, sorry, Netherlands. No, this is where they get, lose away working. So I'm taking, I'm taking a kid solo on a European road trip. driving?

Yeah. I've been Googling underground car park heights for Antwerp. So, sorry, how far is Antwerp from Kent? From Kent, hour to focused an half an hour in the tunnel and then two, three hours. Right, and so why are you going to Antwerp? Just we enjoyed driving around in the car,

not getting on planes and just, you know, going wherever. No, no, no, no. I don't mean why aren't you flying to Antwerp? I mean, why Antwerp? I don't think how else to phrase it. We wanted somewhere to break up the journey and the options are Bruges, Antwerp or Gend. Bruge is lovely.

Yeah, but Bruges is a bit like better for couples. Kids aren't bothered about Bruges, are they? No, not in the same way they are about Antwerp. Yeah. Well, Antwerp's got a zoo. Okay, yeah, fine. And also, what's happened is it? There was a load of other places I really wanted to go,

but they were all fully booked. What were they? Brussels. So there's like on the, no, there's a whole of Brussels. No, there's like a safari place called, not Bergen or something like that. Oh, sorry, sorry, other places in Antwerp that you wanted to go. No, not in Antwerp, but around that region to break up the journey to Holland. Netherlands.

In the Netherlands, yeah. And why are you going to the Netherlands? I was going to go to that Efteling place if I can get any accommodation. What's that? It's a theme park place. Oh, right. So just something to do for a few, four or five days.

So where's, where's Lou? Lou's away working for a few nights. So I thought I'll take them away for the weekend. Is this half term? Yes, a little half term trip. But what I forgot about half term is, it's his half term in Europe.

Oh, yeah. So Antwerp's going to be fucking buzzing with kids. Oh, Antwerp's going to be back to bat. Oh, bloody hell, busy here, isn't it? Oh my God, it's like a crash, Antwerp. But I... God, I want the big rush to Antwerp. It's like going down the Cornwall.

Yeah, exactly. You know on Radio 2, they always ring up. Hello, Sarah Cox, I'm off to Antwerp. Oh, bloody hell, we won't. I mean, I think Antwerp's going to be fucking shit, if I'm honest. Are you going to go watch Royal Antwerp? That's the team. I've looked.

But no, what I was going to do was, so basically, originally, this is, I'll be honest. I was trying to find something to do with them. And I worked backwards from Fine Order playing PSV Eindhoven on the Sunday. That's a big game as well. A huge game. So I was going to take the kids to that. However, it does look quite aggressive. I think that might get a bit tasty.

Yeah, I think Firenard are quite tasty fans. And I thought, oh, I don't know if I want to take him to a derby. And then also, because it is half term and there's no accommodation, I ended up just book, I had to book the hotels that weren't near the football for the kickoff of the football. So in the end, I just bin that off and I'm going another time. Yeah. So no football for me.

He wouldn't have been brilliant taking an 8 and a 10-year-old to PSV versus Firenord, I think. No, I did. As I was looking at it, I thought. Oh, I think... There might be a family enclosure. Yeah, maybe, but I just, it was a lot of... And I just thought they're not that poverty. No.

It's like a long way, you know, what did you do after? My dad sent me to find old PSV. But then there's something for them, Antwerp. And there's something for you, you know, it's all for them. Well, Antwerp's... Look, the reason I did Antwerp is, Gent looks a bit boring, just like as... Oh, yeah.

Yeah. And then Bruges is pretty, but I think they'll get bored of looking at old shit. And then Antwerp's got a zoo and some sort of loads of chocolate museums and tasting places. And it's only a day. I'm not there for. flat two weeks all inclusive. No, fair enough. So how long are you going to be in Antwerp? I'll be honest, if you're in my head, I've been romanticised this.

I think it's probably going to be a fucking ballache and I'm basically just driving to another Luton, but everyone speaks Flemish. Yeah, of course. Of course. Yeah, so I've got that, that'd be fun though, but like, we just quite like the little adventure of it. Yeah. I think it is fun. And do you know what? The kids will always remember that you took them to Antwerp in the October half to know. We're dead at a breakdown in half term.

We took us to Antwerp. Dad, why did we go to Antwerp? And I'll have to go, I don't know. I just thought it'd be fun. And we can't even stay in the city centre because the car's too high. So we're having to stay on the Crown Plaza off the motorway. Wait, what are you driving a megabus to Antwerp? What's going on?

I'm driving my VW multivans slash carvel, my new car. What does that mean? Is that like a people carrier? Yeah, it's like a smaller Mercedes VATO. Well, obviously I don't snow. what a Mercedes V2 is wrong. Oh, you'll know, you little posh, you little posh, rich sports celebrity.

You've had your little trotters up in there going to them from TV studios, mate. Oh, yeah, I've been in enough Mercedes Vos to sink a battleship, mate. Exactly. I've got these paparazzi photos are you falling into one of those? I love a Mercedes Tito.

Do you? See, you've changed your tune. Why don't you get on an M-electric? I didn't know what it was. Because I don't want to drive one. I want to be in the back of one. Well, I actually find a drive. I'm driving more relaxing because I'm not on fucking TikTok.

I can exhausted myself last night. I got out of the car. The driver had more energy than me. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online and get the same low, no frills prices delivered. Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at nofrills.ca. Hold music.

what you want to hear when a pipe dispersed in your basement is flooding. That's why intact insurance answers 2 million claim calls per year within 20 seconds. So instead of hearing this lovely track, you'll hear this in seconds. Hello, intact insurance. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sip. Play. Post. Taste. View and enjoy. Via rail, Love the way. Do you just get in the car? I noticed you texted me at half, 11, desperately hoping someone's up for some kind of engagement.

Well, do you know who's always up? I've worked out for engagement. Catherine Ryan. Is she? Because I texted her about something asking for, let me talk you through, I text later at the night last night. So obviously I text everyone that was on the show.

I hope you got there on a long journey as well. I wanted to sort of either just discuss how it went or slag people off. You know I've been talking for five hours. Do you want a bit more? I promise we don't have to do maths. And I message, yeah, so Catherine Ryan said to me, because I sent her a message and I thought,

oh, I've sent that bit late. But now I just think, I don't care. I think the rules of texting someone late don't exist. I don't think anyone can complain about a late text. If you're being woken up by the sound of a text, A, get better as sleeping. B. Just turn your phone to sound.

off. It's mad. Just turn your phone sound off if one text is going to wake you. A late text is fine. Yeah, phone calls mental, but I think late text is fine because everyone's, especially in our job, if you're texting people like that. I wouldn't probably text one of the school parents at 11, but like people in our job were always awake. Yeah, but I just wake up and I see the text. You're like, fine. And she replied to me at 1am, Catherine. I texted her at quarter to 12. She replied at 1 a.m. I said, appreciate. I went, are you still awake looking after all the children again? She went, yes, I've been up at least once every two hours for five years. You can text me any time day or night.

I will guarantee you I reply within two hours. Wow. Brutal, isn't it? Yeah. So you get in your car. Yeah. Let's compare car journeys. Go on.

Okay? So my car journey back from Strictly. Yeah. I get half eight, because we have dominoes at Strictly. They bring out dominoes. So you have a dominoes in the back of a car? Well, I save mine till after. See, the thing is you can get into a rhythm.

because you're doing a lot of them. Not a pun. No writers needed. We're just doing a mid-sentence. We're fucking chucking punch lines in here in setups. Thank you. Exactly. Yeah.

Anyway, so you're getting into a rhythm because you're doing it every week. Probably the same driver? Yeah. So when y'all do cats, it's always at a random point and it's a lottery. The geesey last night, when we stopped at the services, said, it's his first night. I went, what? For this company? He went, no, as a chauffeur.

His first job was Manchester. to Luton at midnight. That is a tough first shift, did it? You're not being eased in. I do worry about their tiredness, these late-night drivers. Me too. So I always, it sounds creepy. Because I, my dad was a driver, right?

And he always said, he always found it difficult to go to the toilet anywhere because no, I had toilets. It was late at night and you get tired. So when they dropped me at home, I don't really do it in a hotel because I feel like if they needed the toilet, they'd just go into the hotel and say, can I use your toilet? You'd say, do you want to come in and use the toilet? I'd say it late at all, do you want to come and use the toilet?

which feels a bit like the start of a HR email. I'd say, yeah, if your first day, you drop someone to a hotel in Luton and he invites you to come in and use the toilet. You know, so I wouldn't do it at the hotel, but in my own home I do, but then I feel like, it's that a bit weird, but like I feel like it's my dad.

Yeah. Would have been needed a wee. So like come in and use the toilet. But I did it once the other day. And normally they go, oh, do you mind? Because they know it's a bit like much, a bit awkward. I go, look, no, honestly,

you've got a long drive. you know, because they're only going to piss on my garden anyway, aren't they? Let's face it. Well, my driver... Is this, we still relatable? Yeah, though I think it's fine, because I think being driven back from a... I don't think, I'm going to say it.

Go on. I don't think people are expecting you at midnight to get in your own car after an eight out of ten cats record and drive back to Kent, are they? Don't know, maybe. But if my employer's offering it, I'm taking it. So I did it the other day when I come back

and I says this geese at you need the toilet and oh yeah, man that'll be great so come in I went it's just through there he's in there and he comes out this is 4 a.m

and he's got one of those really deep northern voices who went you got whippets I'm like yeah do you want to fucking keep it down though

because I also got a family sleeping upstairs they're coming for a piss not a bit of fucking observational chat on my pets I said you know when someone's really loud and you want them to be quiet

but rather than go shut up you're being too loud I just sort of talk back at them quietly and hope they copy. Yeah, of course. And that's got to be the best set of you go, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do have a couple of whippets. Yeah, you're right, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just this way out, man. Yeah, I'll do the door for you.

All right, cheers, mate. See you later. I don't know if Lou knows, you know, that you're inviting men in to use the toilet. But imagine waking up to hearing his voice. She went, was you talking about whippets when you got in? I mean, well, I wasn't. I was responding in quite a voice to chat about Whippets. So, York, you're talking through York,

because I just get in the car and I've never really planned it properly. If I'm planning properly, I've got my iPad with me and I've downloaded something to watch on it. But last night, I was just, my head was spinning. And I unfortunately just scrolled for ages, which is terrible. Can you not watch someone on your phone? No, it's too small. But I, and I'm my fat hands on it, so it's too tempting to switch through.

So on an iPad, I can sit and watch something. So that's quite, you know, but only on a motorway. If I'm from country lanes, it's game over. I'll be sick. Oh, really? I can read in a car. People are always really impressed by that. Are they?

They're really impressed by your reading and fast growing hair. Yeah, well, actually haven't heard enough people talk about that. So maybe I'll bring that out on my next interview about you. I love doing the pod with him. I think he's doing great. He's such a nice guy. Have you ever seen him reading a car? He can read in a car.

Often his hair's longer by the time he gets there. Yeah. So your set up, you've got half a Domino's pizza. What kind of pizza? With one dip, vegetarian. Vegetarian, one dip. One dip. I had pizza pilgrims the other day.

That was good. That was, I've never had that before. I quite like pizza pilgrims. I still prefer Pizza Express, but I feel like... June and when Lily Allen had to come off Instagram because she slagged off pizza pilgrims. What did she say about it? She put up a picture of a really bad takeaway pizza

that she'd been sent by Peter Pilgrims. Right. She's like, this is dreadful. or whatever, you know. Okay. And a lot of people outside of London didn't realize pizza pilgrims was a chain. Oh, I thought she was just having to go at a small independent.

I thought she was having to go at a small, independent and absolutely waded in on her. Yeah, but if the pizza's shit, the pizza's shit, if it's small or big. Well, let's get, well, look. She ended up having to come off Instagram because too many people having go out her about pizza pilgrims. Well, I had a nice time.

I had a nice time there. What's your favourite pizza? But chain or pizza? Like place. Like if I said, because I always feel, I'm sure we've covered this. I'm sure we've covered this.

I always feel. Show what, Josh. We'll cover it again. Do you think the people on this morning say that? We've done breast cancer awareness once. Do we need to do it again? We've done what's going up at Alba Square. Look, I've got...

Yes, it's summer. There will be different. fashions fucking out. Look, Josh, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Yeah. All I'm saying is we're doing our best out here and I do want to discuss my favorite pizzas with you. Okay, well, let me say, when I have a pizza, I really wanted to be good because I see pizza.

Yes, it's a treat. It's a treat. And if it's bad, it's so heartbreaking because you've like, I've wasted my pizza on a bad pizza. I was hung over the other day and I ordered a pizza and from Domino, from Domino, and in the small print, I didn't read that it had barbecue sauce instead of tomato sauce. And it arrived. I honestly put my head in my hands like I'd been fired from a 25 year career in finance. I was, and I was in front of Lou and I didn't want to look too pathetic.

And then she was like, oh, it's okay. You can have so, and I was just, if I was on my own, I'd have fucking headbutted it and just launched it. I just was so angry. Who, what kind of sick, basic bitch tongue? Once barbecue sauce on a pizza, you dirty, sugar-guzzling bitches. It's disgusting. Barbecue sauce is shit. It's the worst sauce that have all the sauces.

I hate it. I agree. Honestly, when I saw it and it was all brown, I tasted it and it was a tang, I was like, that's a bit of, what's that to my, no, barbecue. Honestly, because I'm hungry now, I'm angry now. How do you, I also, there's a similar situation. higher level chains or not even chains individual

pizza places. There's people walking past your office and I just think, what are they talking about in their rooms? The whole fucker trying to get a new business up and going and you're just going for your pieces. Barely finishing a story because of me. The white pizza.

Oh, come. Yeah. Just, what are you doing? What is that? You can't be leaving that on the menu. without extreme warnings. Yeah. Because when I was at Pizza Pilgrims,

I actually said, I ordered a pizza, went, that's with a white base. You want that or tomato. If you have to say that, get rid. You don't order a burger and go,

that will come of a beef patty. Do you want to remove that? No, no one wants white pizza sauce. What is that? Is someone trying to impress people? Yeah, awful. Pizza Express is number one, Pizza Pilgrim's strong second.

Franco Mancour. I struggle with the sourdough base. Isn't pizza pilgrims a sourdough base? Couldn't tell you, but I like it. Best pizza is what I had in Bologna, and they've got one in Napoli called DeMichelle. Do you know where the best place to get pizza is? Where's that?

Antwerp. The food's going to be so heavy and shit, and it. It'll be, no, I tell you what you need to get is... Oh, waffles. Freets and waffles. Yes. The kids are lovicks. Lovip.

Yes, come back 20 stone. Absolutely fun. A big bottle of chips. Chocolate. Chloras, waffles, pancakes, chocolate. Yeah. And imagine if the kids are like, Daddy, can we go back to Antwerp next half term? We love Antwerp and then it becomes a family thing.

You always get. Would you do it want to be hollow? We go Antwerp for a couple of weeks every October. Lovely place. All wrap up warm. Is it cold? Not really. It's actually weirdly hot and warm.

We don't know whatsoever. Will it have a Christmas market yet? I bet the Belgians do Christmas market as well. They can't be banging out of Christmas market. I don't know if Antwerp is the home of Christmas. Christmas market. I'm there anymore. Everett's the home of Christmas markets these days.

Where's your favourite pizzas? Well, Manchester's going mental for Christmas markets. You can't move. Manchester's Christmas market is out of control. And I say that as a former worker, isn't it? I say that as covered 16 times. I like Franca Manka. Franca, really?

Yeah. Number five, no anchovy with chilies, please. Oh, yes. There is a market, yeah. Sorry. Yeah. When does it start? I don't know.

I'm not that. I'm not going to Christmas too soon. I'm mid-November. Right, so strictly, on the way back, you have half a vegetarian pizza in the car waiting for you. Hot or cold? It's cold by then.

Right, okay, so next week, you can start kicking off. Three weeks in, you can start saying, I want it on. No, no, no, no. I don't think, I think this is, I mean, I think heat in food is overrated. The heat in food is overrated? Yeah, I've not got as much for a problem with food going cold as other people do.

Do you actually find hot food a bit overwhelming? No, I like hot food. I like hot food. You like hot food, okay, let's get that clear. But some people will be like, oh my God, this, you know, this food's gone cold. I just couldn't possibly, I'm fine with cold pizza. No, not cold pizza when you're in a restaurant, but if it's on the side and you know it's been left cold, I can eat that. Yeah, yeah.

What's the worst cold food? Soup, you can't have that cold. You couldn't have that cold. A steak, you can't have that cold. Um, well, I've never, uh, yeah, how about tea? I don't like tea cold. No, no ice tea for you, no. No. Yeah, the worst cold, I mean, I would never eat, but I could even eat, say your children had left pasta, I could eat that cold. Yeah, okay.

I could eat most things cold. There you go. Fair enough. I don't think there's many foods don't eat that I wouldn't eat cold. Okay, okay. Yeah. I eat curry cold. Yeah, yeah, I'm not disagreeing at this point. Yeah. I like having a spoon

I don't want toast cold I do have a little cheeky cold spoonful of curry before I'll re-warm it out Yes so do I I always do that and it's really good But not rice that's bad Can you have cold rice? There's a lot

There's a lot of heat No pun intended Around No rights from needed Exactly no rights from me needed It's good I'm enjoying It feels like this conversation's simmering People who re-eat rice

And whether it kills you And I don't. No, I've got no idea what the rules are on that. It seems to be big rules that reheating rice is a real no-no. I just put it in for about nine minutes and hope for the best. But, yeah, so I love reheating. I love re-heating. I'm actually one of those people that throws out the, I actually think the curry's better the day after.

You know those people. I'm one of those guys. I think, yeah, only if, well, if you cook your own curry, it's definitely better the next day. I don't cook my own curry. No, okay. To be honest, Rob, I've got a bit overly, my sensitive constitution and stomach,

I've got to the age where, if I have an Indian take, I feel hung over the next day. It's too much for your body. It's too much for my body to take. Have you ever looked into your body? Like, stuff really gets it going. I think.

You said, yeah, you spoke about this before. You overly react to stuff. I'm a super responder. You're super responder. Yeah, I forgot. you did say this actually. Yeah. Your hair's a super responder.

You're like a shit X-Men, where something's going on, but it's not quite good enough for an outfit. You know what I mean? Or a name? But I live life, strangely, because I don't come across like that. I experience everything quite extremely, I think.

Really? I do think that. I think I experience things in a more extreme manner that other people just have experiences, and I really, they affect me. You really get in deeper? Yeah, I don't know, I don't think me and Michael, Michael,

noticed that. That's me, Michael, at all. Michael? No comment. I think you feel something, you get very emotionally attached to whatever that emotion is.

You know what I mean? You get you really feel it like. Yeah. But you're an emotional guy. I just enjoy life and hate it at the same time. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I wouldn't say the enjoyment of emotion is it.

It's all emotions. So if you're sad, you're really sad. If I'm eating an Indian takeaway, it's really hitting me hard. Or if I'm having caffeine, it's really hitting me hard. Yeah.

So you just got to be careful with it? Yeah. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online and get the same low No Frills prices delivered. Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50 a month.

Learn more at nofrills.ca. Hold music. Not what you want to hear when a pipe dispersed and your basement is flooding. That's why intact insurance. answers 2 million claim calls per year within 20 seconds. So instead of hearing this lovely track, you'll hear this in seconds.

Hello, intact insurance. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sip. Play. Post. Taste. View.

And enjoy. Via Rail, love the way. And what else is going on? Any other news? Well, I've missed three netball games. from work, unfortunately. Yeah. My kids aren't playing.

I just like to go and watch. No, my kid, one of my daughters is in the netball team and I've missed three games. My daughter plays on Thursday afternoons and I just can't do that this. Well, I, well, maybe I will be able to later on in the series, but currently I've got, I've had it takes two. So I am missing the games. But I like the home games, the away games in Devon. Oh, it's a long drive. They're a journey.

Yeah, I'm a journey, Rob. What's the longest? You can be looking at 30 to 45 minutes to get there. And also as well, that is like proper. That's not sitting in traffic because it's London. That's like foot down on an A road. Yeah, but I prefer that. Yeah, my understanding, there's miles.

Oh, yeah, you can be driving 20 miles to an away game. Well, that's the thing. That's what the beautiful Devon, you got the space. You got the space. You got the space to drive. When I drive to Plymouth, it's 50 minutes and it's 50 miles. Work that one out for yourself. Yeah, yeah.

Have a thing about that. Yeah, like, yeah. Do you know how long it took me to drive from my house, which is technically London, but borders of Ken? My house to Shepard's Bush, right? Yeah. Guess how long that took to drive? And let me do the miles on that. So that's like just the other side of London, right?

23 miles, right? How long did it take me to drive? 23 miles. 23 miles from my house to Shepard's Bush. That should take an hour. Two hours and 15 minutes. It's un... I could have been in Antwerp.

You wish. I know for a fact I'm going to drive to and check in the hotel kids are going to be going to be going to be and we sat on the edge of the bed and we are going what the fuck have I done here

why didn't I just do a couple of days of blue water and sat out part of the fun so Rob yeah why were you driving to Shepard's Bush because I had a massive

suitcase and I was going to go and do never mind the buscocks and I was away for three days so I had all my stuff that's why there's a helicopter flying over

I don't know if you can hear that to a quarter to hours. I know. It's just in that car. I was just like... And then like, about nine minutes in, the driver started going like,

oh, so do you do this journey much? And I was like, I can't lock in. I can't do two hours and 15 minutes of chat. Yeah. You know. Are you about to? Yeah. I've already invited you in.

I've got your knob out and you've had a piss. Let's just... So I think there's a plane going over. I don't know if you can hear that. No, I can't. It's fine. Yeah, so what else he's got? I'm trying to work out.

I should ask Michael, has he got any strong views on any of these things that we've discussed? Food heat. No, I prefer my food to be warm, but I think in most instances. I wasn't saying I didn't prefer my food to be warm, just from the record. I wouldn't want like a cold pie, for instance? No, that's a good one. It's terrible. Cold roast dinner.

Do you know what actually I had last night and it didn't work at all? Can't. Rose has got a like a cheese toasty for lunch like a nice from a belly. She hadn't finished it and it was on the side.

Cold cheese toastie does not work. No, no, no, that's an insane decision. But give it a good go. Give it a good go, Rob. Do let us know

cold for a day. You can't. You can't. That can't be a runner. I was going to see something else but I forgot what it was. I've barely seen more because I've been away. You've not seen your kids.

No, tonight, Rob, do you know what I'm doing this evening with the kids? What's that? What I've really got into. This is some parenting. Go on. I like doing a big shop. Okay. Online or in person?

In person. I love it. By we've not done your full judge. No, with the kids. With the kids? Yeah, I love it. Really? Yeah.

I love it. Now, I quite like going on my own of a podcasting and just floating along. Yeah, obviously that's an a dream gig, but you can't do that. I think you were saying you prefer it with the kids. Well, I do enjoy it with the kids. I'm already looking forward to it. We go, they get in the basket thing, what is it called, the trolley, drive around. Yeah, it seems like you're doing it a lot.

You're really across it. The big basket with wheels, yeah, just a normal guy doing normal things, actually. Did it last week, doing it again this week? Can't wait. Because it feels really, when you've been away doing like lots of intent. stuff, it feels like really mundane family stuff to do. Do you know what I mean? Embrace the boring bits. Yeah, I love it. I can't wait. What, so on the way back from Strictly, let me get you have half a pizza and then do you

go straight to sleep? What is your... No, probably half an hour of music. Can't get enough of it, can you? Full band in the car with you. Dave Arch. Dave Arch in the band. Give me a bit of one of them with the old fingers. Yeah, music and book. Music and book. And then when I get tired... God, reading's insane. Reading's, man. Reading's mental in the darks you put the little light on put the little light on duve I haven't got a duvet you're you're building up the courage to get a duvet involved

aren't you well I've got a duv in my dressing room so you got to do so the duvay stays in the dressing room I can't take the duvay home because then you've got to bring it back on the train I'd have to bring it back on the train yeah you can't have a duvet every yeah you're in a bit of a piccolour so yeah so yeah because otherwise if I was just

Getting a new duvet every week. I end up with 13 duvets at my house. I'm running for a man with no bed. From a man with no bed. I slept to a bed last night. Hello. And then with your daughter? No, she was on the floor.

And so there was a spare bed in the other room when I just went in. So you're just now sleeping completely alone in a bed? Well, no. As of last night, I imagine she'll be back in the bed tonight. Right, okay. Well, why was she on the floor? Just because you weren't home when she went to bed?

Yeah, yeah. And she don't want to go to bed on her own? Yeah, yeah So that's how I get And then I put music on and go to sleep I have to have music on to get to sleep Or a podcast So do you have that on when you're in with the family?

No, I have something called Sleep Train in the Rain Which we like Do you know what's random? Do you want to hear? It's quite an intense rainstorm that isn't it? That's a train in the rain Yeah

That's a train, that's too much, a train It sounds like someone getting waterboarded And it goes, there's a calm one Oh Oh yes please Well I sometimes put a podcast on to go to sleep Yeah But then I wake up and sometimes

You know like Spotify randomly suggest to have a podcast Yeah yeah And then like so I put one on to go to sleep And then when I woke up I was listening to Mo Gilligan Talking to Is it Autist from the Gadget Show? Honestly

I've never been so confusing my life Like I forgot about the gadget show Of course. But when they were talking about it, I was like, I love that show. I'm so sorry. What had you been listening to before? I don't know. Interview chatty stuff.

Molylegan talking about. Mogadles are comedians. I mean, listen to other comedians if they're... Yeah. I'm trying to talk to you, but you're reading Autists is Wikipedia, aren't you? Yeah, because, I mean, this could be a feature. Best Wikipedia photo of famous people. Oh.

Because they always use a random one. that isn't licensed. Yeah, yeah, of course. Autist, I mean, yeah, please send in the best Wikipedia photo of famous people. Because it's not an approved headshot. I'm going to send this to you now. This, I mean, I didn't expect to be talking about this or seeing this today. But this is Autist at the 2011 Gadget Show Live.

I am just finding it from myself. So he's got a leather jacket with fringed arms, a big grey wig, a white top and leather trousers and boots. I don't know who he's trying to be. Who tracking he is? I don't know But I'd say the problem is He was on blind days

I'm short change I don't short change It was like a children's show about It was like a children's version of watchdog Almost He was speaking about the police interceptors He did the police Because that needs to be a voiceover job

You know so much about him Rob you should start a newspaper about him Do you know what he'd call it? Go on You're Tis Daily Come on now It's good. You know, Michael, maybe we should get some writers for a bit. Small business. Please let it be Autis's glassware company.

Now it's time for small business shoutouts brought to you by VistaPrint, your expert print partner to help bring your ideas to life. For instance, if you've got a small business, banners are a great way to make people know you are actually there. We're talking markets, events, pop-ups or shops, Rob, or, dare I say it, when scaffolding gets in the way. Oh, lovely. Yes.

Talking from experience? What? We've got a scaffold up at the moment. Oh, okay. What, our neighbours have. Oh, and how's that annoying? No, it's fine. Okay, good.

I just noticed it when I walked past yesterday. There's loads of scaffold in New York, isn't there? Why is that? There's a reason Michael will know this. They have to, every year, do safety, health, like, checks on it. So New York is just constantly covered in scaffold. Do you want to hear one then, Rob? Should I give you a small business shout out?

Hi, guys. Love the pod. it got me through some tough days juggling parenting a one-year-old and a newborn. Fair play. My friend and I had babies at a similar time and though we love being mums, we started to feel like we wanted something for ourselves outside of motherhood too. So we took the plunge, started our own luxury soft play hire business, the Village Co. We just don't want to be, you know, our whole life is children, our motherhood. So we thought we'd start a soft play, Rob, just to get away from kids.

Just so, you know, you know, really put a footmark down of something other than children. But to be fair, you see a gap in the market. Me and Lewis spoke about this. It's a great business model. We provide the gear, have a van, turn up, Bosch, set it up. We provide luxury soft play for under fives at birthday parties, garden parties, christenings, weddings and more. So it's good for just a normal party that you think,

exactly. Chuck it in the corner so they've got something to do so they don't annoy the adults. Exactly. We also offer a personalised setup so customers can really make their little one celebration their own. We're two mums building a business from the ground up and honestly we never expected it to grow as quickly as it has. We absolutely love a small business shout out on the pod to help more local families discover us based in Hastings covering East Sussex.

Message us on Instagram at villageco.h. Hire to book. Thanks so much, lads. Keep doing what you're doing, Emma and Emily. There you go. Oh, it looks very pretty. It's all like white and clean. It's luxury. It's luxury. It's luxury. Normally it's red in it. and blue. Exactly. Normally it's the primary colours, isn't it? They could do with some banners. They could put banners on the white bits with people.

That's probably what they do. Here we go. Hi, Rob and Josh. I have a very tiny small business which me and my seven-year-old daughter started in the summer holidays. We make personalised character key rings perfect for school bags and gifts. It started just us beading together as trying to find anything my neuro spicy child will sit still for is a challenge. Follow us on Instagram at doties bead. Dotty's bead box.

O-T-T-I-E-S-B-E-A-D box. Thanks for keeping me company while I'm at work cleaning. I'm sure some of my clients think I'm losing the plot laughing all the time. Tash and Dotty. Vistaprint.co.uk, print your possible. To get 15% off your Vistaprint order, visit vistoprint.com. Use the code parenting hell 15. I'll just had a look at Dotty's bead box.

They've got all the better. You know, like, they've made these lovely key rings with like names on. You never guessed the first one. What? I've just gone to. Otis. Amazing. So close to Waters.

So close. So close. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online and get the same low No Frills prices delivered. Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at no frills.ca. Hold music. Not what you want to hear when a pipe dispersed in your basement is flooding.

That's why intact insurance answers 2 million claim calls per year within 20. So instead of hearing this lovely track, you'll hear this in seconds. Hello, Intact Insurance.