Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S9 EP19: JOSH PARALLEL PARKS LIVE ON THE PODCAST

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... In this episode Josh does a real life parallel park on the show using some listener advice and tips. Elsewhere, we get through some of your amazing correspondence as our guest dropped out right before the record. Please follow and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.

And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. I think we should make a virtue of the fact that we've just been stood up. Yes, well, we have just been stood up, yes.

We must be interviewing someone, but they can't do it any longer due to the other interviews have got a run over. So they can't do this. And so suddenly we've been canceled on. We've been kind of lost on it. Yeah. So we're going to do a correspondence episode, Josh. This is the truth. We just recorded the straight after Michael Michael. You haven't sent me an intro. That's how I'm ready. We are for this. Well, you wanted to you put you called it forward Josh, at the last minute to 1045. We agreed 1050 you arrived two minutes late at 1052.

We've had a birthday. That's because we've had a birthday saga. Right. Okay. Yeah. That's fine. That's fine. Just saying that. You know, in the last episode, I was talking about the mess up with the craft. Well, we basically have come straight off the back of the episode where we spoke about being really busy and it being your daughter's birthday. And now, but there's been another problem. You had no crafts. Now what don't you have?

The Ocado booking, Rose has lost her slot. Okay. And so the only slot available is 12.30 to 1.30 tomorrow. When's the party? 1.30. Bit tight that the party? 1.30. Bit tight that, innit? Feels it, doesn't it? So, at the moment, you've done nothing for the party.

No, we have. Yeah, but nothing that will help. Oh yeah, we've got all the decorations arrived. Oh, okay. We've got all the... And the van here. ...summer holiday themed. The van here. Yeah. So what decorations do you get for a summer holiday themed?

I've got an inflatable palm tree, mate. I've got eight different, I've got an inflatable flamingo, an inflatable palm tree, all that kind of stuff. We've got a cake. Right, have you got a pump for the inflatables? No, I've got a pair of lungs, mate. You've got little asthma lungs. You can't blow up all that,

I'd get a little electric pump when you go out to get the craft stuff tomorrow. I'm thinking of roping in another dad to come and help me set up. Anyway, so that's what you heard me saying to Rose. I'll just go out and get the sandwiches. Yeah. Also, if you hear a dog toy squeaking,

let me know and I'll go and get it off him. Yeah. Do you want to do the intro? Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Right Alfie, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Can you say Josh Willicombe? Josh Willibub. Willibub.

Can you say Sexy Michael? Sexy Michael. That's a shame. Yeah, I'm not sure I like that, coming from a child, Sexy Michael. How do you feel about that one, Michael? I really don't like that at all. I don't want to get this one closed out. Almost to the point where you should listen to these voice notes before you forward the

email on Michael. I'm in steady on, mate. All Michael does these days is delete the time the email was sent and send it on. This is my son Alfie. Don't overload your work by listening to the 13 second clip Michael. He's nearly five and about to start school wish us luck. Well, it'd be easier. Alfie lives in Maldon in Essex. Do you know Maldon? I know new Maldon. Are they the same place?

No, I don't know. How's it been spelled? I know New Maldon, are they the same place? No, I don't know. How has it been spelled? M-A-L-D-O-N. Maldon. Maldon. Maldon. My little two-year-old brother called Felix, big name at the moment Felix, good name.

I've been listening to your podcast since day one and gets me through the working week. My wife and I are seeing Rob in South End in 2025. Yep, next year. Oh yeah, Maldon, because there's some New M Malden near Wimbledon and a Malden is sort of proper middle of Essex. Well, it'll be worth the wait, I'm sure. Keep being sexy and relatable, Matt, from Malden. It's by the, it's not by the sea, it's by a weird river.

By all the saltmarsh, yeah, so I was talking absolute shit here. I feel like I've never seen or heard of Maldon before in my life. And it's just it does exist. I ask a question. Yeah. Where does salt come from? Pardon? I just if you're if you're eating salt, is that from that's out from the sea? Or is that from what it says some in the sea, but the salt mines, There is a salt mine. No, I've never been to a salt mine. It used to be paid in salt. It used to be paid in salt.

Back in the day, yeah. Salt mine, I went to one in Poland. Did you? Yeah. And does that salt come from the sea? It's from the mine. Yeah, but why is it in the mine? I think it might be water that's gone onto all the rocks and then you just chip away

the water and the salt on it. Yeah, that's what I think. That's what you think, is it? Okay, but it's amazing. Check out Krakow. And it's been basically, they've carved into think. Okay, but it's amazing. Check out crackle. And it's been basically they carved into the salt mines. So it's like a beautiful tourist attraction. Google the crack of salt mine, Josh, Google it now. And be impressed. It's amazing. And I did lick the wall. Wow. Thank you.

I think licking the walls a bit weird because other men have and women. Oh and women? Oh I'm sorry anti-gay. No no no what I mean is. Heaven forbid it was a male tongue you old curmudgeon. No what I mean is other people you're having to go at my bloody uh my tea making facilities meanwhile you're licking. We were told to lick the wall. Exactly. So you're not the first and you won't be the last. I don't know if I want to go on a tourist attraction where at some point they tell me to lick the wall. Rob Beckins lick the wall at some point. Sounds like a North Korean gulag.

Get some messages there, boy. Rose has managed to secure a 9am delivery tomorrow. Oh, what a woman. Respect. Absolutely. Well done, Rose. What are you going to say to that? That deserves a 9 a.m. delivery tomorrow. Oh what a woman, respect! Absolutely, well done Rose. What are you gonna say to that? That deserves a big, big laugh that does. Anyway, no, I was in Krakow and Auschwitz when we did that thing where you pay for a month train travel around Europe, you travel around Europe. Oh yeah, nice. They were told about this, flew into Poland and then went from there. I did a six weeks around... Dartmoor. America on the on the train. Yeah. I fucking hate trains in America.

They don't have trains today. They've got no respect for train travelers. Do you know what it was though? I think the car companies bought all the tracks and closed them so people buy cars. That's the theory I've heard. But they've opened a new one that goes from Orlando to Miami really quickly to try encourage that. How far is that? So that two hours in the train, it could be free for our drive. I two hours in the train, but it could be three, four hour drive. I enjoyed the Amtrak, the train. Right, do you want to do some correspondence? You got anything else to say about your kids?

Not about my kids, I could talk to you about America. I went to Harvester last night. Did you? Yeah, it's fun, the salad bar, isn't it? The salad bar in a Harvester. The kids love it. I think it's their first taste of freedom. Because when they're old enough,

they can go themselves and pick what they want. Do you know what I mourn? They love it. Do you know what I mourn? The death of the Pizza Hut buffet, that new story a few months ago. Oh, is it gone? I've not had a Pizza Hut buffet for five years, it's over.

That's it. Really? Got it. I used to love that so much. That was my favorite thing as a teenager. That was where I'd go if I was like in town buying CDs or whatever. Isn't there, the buffet's still going right?

There was a news story, maybe they did a six music thing where they threatened to close it. Yeah and then everyone goes up, yep. Here we go, for a limited time only you can get a week lunchtime buffet for £10 with the code 10BUFFET. There you go. Why have I made this up? I think Mark made it up mate, it seems like it's still going for me.

What the fuck's wrong with me? Pizza Hut buffet. Last week it was Hobby Craft, this week Pizza Hut buffet. 15.99 unlimited buffet for adults at weekends and bank holidays. All right. Well, there we go. So you're wrong there. I'm glad it's come back. Yeah. Maybe we should go. Maybe we should do a live one. Pizza Hut.

Chuck us some bloody coin and we'll do a live one from the Pizza Hut buffet. You're laughing. That's on the cards at some point. So the rest is history, which Rose listens to. They did one where they just went around Europe with like, where they were talking about whatever they were talking about, you know. The history of that place. You mean that's the part that, that was at Polkart?

Yeah, and they had, and they did it, that they were paying for their coffees during the podcast with whatever this card was that worked on Mainland Europe. Oh, that's what we need to do. I don't want to be in a soft play, live. Send in your suggestions. We'll go and do some live ones once the finances are done. That is quite funny actually. Yeah.

Give us your suggestions. And if the brands are into it. Yeah, if the brands are into it. We'll read out our top five suggestions then the brands can get in touch. Yeah, that's a good idea. Right. We're talking correspondence here. Let's do some correspondence. Yeah. Here we go. Let's turn this negative into a positive. Okay. Hello Shaggers listening to a recent episode. I thought I may be able to help with Josh's cry for help regarding parallel parking. You can't parallel park,

can you? No. And I was literally trying to yesterday. Yeah, I said to Rose, I don't even have a system. So I don't right. I don't know what I'm trying to say. It's like Man United and Eric Tadard. Exactly. No, it is like that. It's like I'm picking a new team every time I'm going will this work? I need someone to go. This is the theory. Because I think like because at least with Ange Postocoglu at Tottenham, you

know, his strategy is drive at the space forwards at 70 miles an hour and try to spin it in. And it doesn't work, but you know, he does the same every time. Exactly. So my point, my point is my team's confused. They're going on, we're doing different tactics each week. Sometimes it works, but then I don't know what I've done. Okay, well, here's a framework for how's Rose getting on with her driving or do we not ask for a bit? She can do it. She can do it, but she hasn't passed the test. But she can't explain it to me.

Right. Okay, here we go. Okay, so this is for Josh's cry for help on parallel parking and anyone else struggling a skill that I mastered during my time living in Australia. Not that that's relevant, but I agree that is a boring topic and I felt that may add a bit of spice to this. By the way, in Australia, they are very strict on, if you park in, you have to face the way the traffic's going. Oh, really? Where in England, it's a bit more of a lottery, isn't it?

But in Australia and America, they're quite hot on that. You wanna hear an interesting, it's not bleak. Well, it is bleak. It feels like that's your vibe at the moment, keep him coming, yeah, go on. No, this is bleak, because this is about cancer. Brilliant. But it is interesting.

Okay. A lot of Australians get skin cancer on their right arm. Okay. Or is it their left arm? Either way, it's the arm they have out the window while they're driving. Oh, because they don't put cream on it and it's not getting hot because of the wind.

Isn't that interesting? That is interesting. Yeah there you go. Okay thanks mate. Okay the top tip is let the mirrors do the work. Yeah I've heard this. Right okay well let me, Josh you are in a real little grumpy mood here. Yeah and I'm in trouble, I'm in trouble. You're in trouble, you're very worried about the rest of you. I'll be honest, that guest has had an absolute win by rescheduling. Yeah, also, I think the problem with the guest go is we've we've had a chat. And then when the guest comes on, it's sort of like a half shift for us because the spotlights on the guest

or sometimes we can double shift Rob, let's be honest. Yes, of course. I think with this guest, they are they're great value. So it would have been I'd say an easier shift at the office. Now you're having to put in a full shift and you're angry about it yeah that's basically what's happened isn't it but I'm happy to take a bit of the lead. I'd say I'm more angry about the the craft stuff not arriving in time my general diary and just people wanting too much of me. Right and what about the return of the Pizza Hut buffet you've just discovered is still alive? Yeah, that's good. That's a positive.

You gonna go? I haven't got time. I'm too busy. Right, okay. Well, why don't you could go and have the Pizza Hut buffet alone while you wait for the pizzas before your kids birthday party? Anyway, let's get back to it. Let's get back to the point here, Josh. Right, let the mirrors do the work. Line the front of your car up with the mirror of the parked car in front. Okay, so I'm already starting too far away from the gap.

Right, okay, so you know, yeah, you need to line up your mirror with the mirror of the parked car. Oh, my mirror with their mirror or the front of my car with their mirror. Okay, I'm already confused. Line the front of your car up with the mirror of the parked car.

Oh, your front of your car, right. I always thought it was the mirror. Yes, the headlight is parallel, is next to the mirror. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. That's right. Then focusing on the mirror on the side you're reversing into. As soon as the curb comes into view go full lock left or right depending on the way you're parking. Full lock eh? I've not been doing any full lock. Okay. Keep your eyes on the mirror though, because once that curve vanishes from view, you want to go full lock to the other side. No, you've got a system here, Josh.

Yeah. At this point, you have a lovely little entry into your chosen bay. From there, you just straighten up the car, park and do whatever task you embarked on. Now, Josh, you have now got a system Are you thinking what I'm thinking Rob? I'm thinking something, but I don't know if I'm thinking what you think I'm thinking that I'm thinking you're thinking what you thinking

We've got a podcaster Phil. Yeah, I'll run outside I'm a phone on speakerphone and I'll do a live parallel park. I wasn't thinking that but I love that I was thinking maybe it's easier in Australia because the bays are bigger. Right, that's a good idea. I think that's a great idea. Michael, how do you feel about this? Josh wants to do a live parallel park on the podcast with this new information. Now, I'll speak to the DVLAC if they want to sponsor it. Right, Josh, you've got drives to Swansea to do it in front of the building. And then at the end, you've got to help people to make sure they've updated their driving license address.

Do you know what? Next time, so the next episode, I'll record myself doing a car out park. Now, I think we can do this live. I think maybe if we chat for a bit more, then we finish the episode on it. Okay, so I'll run outside, get in the car, find a bay. I'll get, well, I'll be in a bay. So just get out of my bay. Yeah, and then we'll park be in a bay. So just get out of my bay.

Yeah, and then we'll park back into your bay. Okay. Well, obviously Josh, you will be doing this park on private land, won't you? Yes, on my grounds. You're on your grounds that you've asked people to park other cars with enough of a bay on a curb on your private grounds.

Yes, I think that's fine, isn't it Michael, if it's his private land? Yes, my private land. Okay. So that is from Tom, 386 months from Birmingham. I discovered the podcast around six months ago and a couple of months later discovered I'm due to become a first time dad in March of next year. The podcast has helped prepare for all the trials

and tribulations ahead and ease some of the stresses that I've had. Well, we are Tom, 386 months from Birmingham. We are going to try your parking live on the pod to finish the pod. Hi, Sean. Hi, Jack. So you mentioned you were going to come up with an advert for our podcast. What for Oh My Dog? Yeah, Oh My Dog. Have you written something? Uh, no, I haven't. Well, neither have I, but I wasn't meant to. Yeah, well, Sarah's here now to record it, so why don't you take over?

Hi. Hi. Hi, Sarah. Hi. Right, are we ready? What have we got for the Oh My Dog advert? Sean, I think you were going to... I'm... Hello, I'm Sean Walsh and I'm with Jack Dee and we have dogs. Not together, we have individually. Jack has a dog Dolly and I have a dog Mildred. I see. Oh my dog, the cult podcast with Jack Dee and Sean Walsh. Listen, because they both have dogs.

That's what I was going to say. Were you? what I was going to say. Were you? So let's just to recap my headlights parallel next to the fucking hell the wing mirror of the car in front reverse straight until in my wing mirror I can see the curb then I go full lock Yeah, and then when I can't see the wing mirror when I can't see curb. Then I go full lock. Yeah. And then when I can't see the wing mirror,

when I can't see the curb, I go full lock the other way. Perfect, simple. Okay, this is gonna be interesting. There we go, we'll do that at the end. Let's do a couple of correspondence and then we'll get you out there, boy. I'm excited about this. Michael, can you check afterwards the stats of this episode?

Is it possible to see if there's an episode where we never lose a listener throughout? Because if there is, it's this one. No one's pausing at this stage. Yeah, I can see the listen through rates at a certain point. So if the percentage of listen through on this one's up, we know why. Also, maybe though, if you just did more on the road, if it goes well stats-wise, do more on the road, then Adrian can get done quicker. Exactly.

I'm sorry, I've just got to pull over. Adrian's got to get some tools out of the boot. Oh, for f**k's sake. I've got a boomer parenting here, Josh. Hey Rob, Josh and Michael, not quite boomer parenting, but more millennial, millennium parenting. Millennium, millennial. I was born in the year 2000 and there was one occasion that has stuck with me

where I've questioned my mum's parenting choices. God, this is a new boom. Oh, interesting. I was around six to eight years old. And I remember we were playing hide and seek. Normal. Yeah, that's fine. No, our version of hide and seek consisted of my mom doing scary voices with a knife in hand saying, I'm coming to get you. Oh, my God.

I was so scared. Like actually petrified that I pissed myself in my mom's wardrobe. Oh, no. Without was so scared, like actually petrified that I pissed myself in my mom's wardrobe. Oh no. Without making a sound because I genuinely thought she was going to kill me. Oh my god. Safe to say that was the only time we played hide and seek with a knife. My mom listens to the podcast so she'll know this is from me. Thanks Hope Tarrant. I feel like she might have gone, mom play hide and seek and the mom's really busy doing food and followed her upstairs and yeah, forgot she's holding a knife. I haven't played hide and seek and the mum's really busy doing food and followed her upstairs and Yeah, forgot she's holding a knife. I haven't played hide and seek in ages But mum if you want to get in touch and let us know your side of the story, please do

Yeah, I've got some more I've got things here that I forgot we spoke about tell me what you want falling over with the kids Car crash while listening to the show, positive hitchhiking stories, banana skin slip. Bloody hell, we cover a lot. Or car crash while listening to the show feels quite apt considering how we're ending this episode. Right, okay. Hello, Rob and Josh. I'm pretty sure you have mentioned an episode not so long ago to write in if a car accident, obviously non-fatal or serious, has taken place while listening to the pod.

Well, it has happened. A few weeks ago, me and my partner Carl were traveling from York to Manchester along the M62 laughing away to the tails of playground shaggers. Then out of nowhere, a roof box tent came flying towards our car. Oh, fucking Norway. There was boxes flying everywhere in the road and on that episode. Oh, yeah, nice. You can guess what happened next.

This smashed straight into the front of our car, bringing the whole motorway on one side to a standstill. Oh my God. The object had come off the roof of a car traveling in the opposite direction in the fast lane, bounced over the central reservation and, unluckily, hit us at 65 miles per hour. Fucking hell. The good news in this story is that somehow, I still don't know how, it's some kind of miracle. Our car made it to the hard shoulder without hitting any other cars on a busy Friday afternoon and we both walked out of it with only minor injuries. Oh my God. Although not great news for the car, it was a total wreck. After the initial shock of it, the debris off the road had been cleared and I had lost some of my

dignity by having to go to the toilet at the side of a busy motorway. While we were waiting for recovery, we went to get our belongings out of the car that we would never see again. It was at this point, Karl came back giggling to himself. I was finding it hard to see the funny side of what had happened. And when asked what's so funny, he replied, Rob and Josh are still having a good old laugh in there. Rob and Josh are still having a good old laughing. Even the car was crushed. The radio was somehow still working and then you two were still having banter and writing it out awful day.

Thanks a lot. You've given us and see you in York in February next year, Rob, Danica and Carl. There we go. Wow. God, I'm glad you're safe. That's a horrible thing to go through. Bleak thing to say Rob, but you would not have known why there was two empty seats from Roan Yorke. Luckily they'll be full. And even with a car crash, we've got an extra listen. Still played through to the end. That's what we need. Great completion rate on that episode. Great for the analytics. Stat men will love that. Now, do you want banana skin? You can do some, if you want. I feel like I'm doing all this. No, no, I'm enjoying this. Positive hitchhiking stories

while we're on the road. Should we do that? Yeah. Hello, Rob and Josh. I love the podcast. I listen to the podcast all the time, despite not having any children. I really look forward to my walk to uni on Tuesdays and Fridays. I've been listening since the pandemic when I was 17 and I've now just finished my final university exams. Congratulations, Isabelle 21 from Buckinghamshire. In a recent episode, Rob was talking about how he saw a hitchhiker for the first time and he asked if anyone had a positive hitchhiker story. I've only ever seen a hitchhiker once when me and my mum were driving through the town on a wet day. The road had been completely flooded

under a railway bridge on both sides and the pavements were covered. Two men dressed very smartly were stood with their thumbs out before the bridge. Me and my mum looked at each other and thought, why not, let's do it. It turned out they were going to a wedding on the other side of the bridge.

So we drove them about 20 meters before dropping them off. Fair play. Oh that's amazing. Look at that 20 meters. That is a positive hitchhiker story. Yeah if anyone's got another positive hitchhiker story or have you ever dropped a hitchhiker off shorter than 20 meters? It's got to be the world record for a hitchhiker, doesn't it? What, 20 meters? It can't be so short, isn't it? Yeah. But also you don't get ruined for the wedding, do you?

No, exactly. Exactly. Thumbs out, hitchhike off we go. Now, falling over with kids, banana skins, should we do these too? Yeah, why not? On the subject of slipping and banana skins, I think we said we'd never seen it happen. And we asked the people it had happened to. A few years ago, I turned up at my parents' house

and noticed my 70 something year old mom was limping. What have you done? I inquired. I slipped on a banana skin, she said. What? Nobody actually slips on a banana skin. That surely only happens in cartoons, said me doubtfully. Yeah, that's what we thought. I did. It was in the shopping center, she said. My dad laughed and backed up her claim.

Just one week later, I saw them again. This time my dad had two black eyes and a cut on his nose. Have you had a fight? I inquired. No, I trod on a rake and it hit me in the face. He said. Oh, come on now. Come on now.

Ha ha ha. I'm sorry, but no. This can't be real. That's never happened to anyone, but no. This can't be real. That's never happened to anyone but Sideshow Bob has it? He said without any acknowledgement of the fact that this was even more ridiculous than the banana skin, I said, are you living in a cartoon world or something? This is insane. They laughed as it hadn't occurred to them at all that this slapstick was surely an unprecedented sequence of mad cartoon events

I realize this sounds totally implausible, but this did actually happen following week. They drove into a tunnel drawn onto a rock They fell over birds Around their head sweetie. They walked off a cliff. Actually it was fine for the first few seconds They walked off a cliff, but actually it was fine for the first few seconds until they looked out. Martin from Northamptonshire, I love that. Big fan of that. That is really good. That's unbelievable. Oh, the rake. I mean, that would be awful, the rake in the face. Way worse than a banana skin.

Yeah. Because there's a bit of fun with a banana skin. Before, the impact's like a whoop. Yeah, exactly. You're just over on it. It's just ice. Break is just crack. My daughter this morning had like a bad leg. Like, like she'd hurt her leg. But like, I realized that children don't tend like she pulled a muscle or something. Yeah, because they don't really get that. And so we were really kind of thrown by it. Because you're like, I think it's because they're on the move all the time, really.

They're constantly warmed up. Yeah, they're constantly ready to be subbed on. Where we just sit down moaning and then get up and wonder why I've sat down for eight hours talking shit to you and I wonder why my back aches. But yeah, she's kind of pulled a muscle in her leg or done something to her knee or whatever. Is she alright? Yeah, she's fine. She's just walking with a bit of a limp and you're like, what's going on here then? Because you don't really know how to deal with it because you can't put a plaster on

it or give her cow pole, which are the two real answers. Hi, Rob Josh Sexy Michael. I had a pony from five to 18 and sometimes I am a prick. But I hope no more than others. It was something I did as a hobby with my mum, although I'm from a strong working class roots. My dad is a builder, mum's a teacher. I didn't tell my people growing up due to the shame of being posh, although there is

nothing posh about the cold, wet, smelly, poo-filled mornings, evenings and weekends spent dedicated to said pony. I loved it and struggled with it in even amounts. I wore a hoodie with a horse on it once to a friend's house where the dad continued to refer to me as Holly Horse until I left for uni. So that didn't help matters. Love the show Childless 32 but now living in Sydney. So hopefully, add into your global listening to statistics. Fair enough. Do you know what though, the only people are going to

get in a nice normal people that work hard that had a horse and paid for it. The pricks won't realize they're pricks. Exactly. That's the problem with pricks, innit? So what are you going to do? When are you going to ban horses like you banned Halloween? what are you going to do when you're going to ban horses like you banned Halloween? Or are you going to? I just don't want a horse and they haven't got any money. So

the kids haven't got a choice in it. If Lou wants a horse, that's a different story. But I'm not having a horse. If Lou wants a horse, she can get a horse. She's got money. Buy an horse. I'm not buying a horse. How much is a horse? Grand, isn't it? Grand, depends on the horse. If I write horse for sale, pony for sale.

Let's have a look. The most expensive horse ever was a thoroughbred named Fusici Pegasus, who've sold for $70 million. There might be money in this. I might get one. Train it up. Winner of the 2000 Kentucky Derby and was purchased the same year for a record $70 million. This is the highest price ever played for us.

That's mental. How are you making your money back on a $70 million horse? I don't know. I think if it's been sold to the Middle East, sometimes it's for clout because they like they're like overpaying to have a thing that other people haven't got. Oh, he's for his semen. They're wanking it off and selling it. Yeah. That's where the big money is. Now, Josh, I may not have ponies for my kids,

but I wouldn't be surprised if I had a couple of big boys out the back on tossing off for a couple of grand each pump. Not a bad game, is it? Would you wank off a horse for 70 million euros? Yeah, I'd fucking suck it off for 70 million euro. I'd have a good go on it, wouldn't you? Yeah but I think you'd probably be killed, kicked in the head. I'll only focus on the end of it, I'm not gonna take full shaft. Do you know what I mean? No one's gonna know. This is disgusting. You're gonna creep up, yeah stop.

Do you know what I mean? You also know. This is disgusting. You're gonna creep out. Yeah, stop. You're doing a parallel part. That's quite a jump. Bestiality to you doing a parallel part. We need a middle ground.

Tell you what our middle ground is. Falling over with your kids. Hello, Rob and Josh. I've got 20 months between my two children, now seven and nine. And when they were 18 months and three, I felt ambitious and took them both out on their scooters to our local shops. Needless to say, my youngest got tired after five minutes, so I had to carry her home. I was so tired.

I was so tired. I was so tired. I was so tired. I was so tired. I was so tired. I was so tired. I was so tired. I was so tired. I was so tired. I was so tired. I was so tired. I was so tired. and now seven and nine, and when they were 18 months and three, I felt ambitious and took them both out on their scooters to our local shops.

Needless to say, my youngest got tired after five minutes, so I had to carry her on my shoulders and a scooter in my hand, bag of snacks in the other hand, whilst chasing my boisterous three year old, who was speedily scooting in the distance. My daughter had a helmet on and in my haste to catch up to my son, I totally misjudged the height of a branch. Oh no. I thought she

could duck under as I was running the branch, wipe my daughter straight off my shoulders in a cartoon style sketch. I turn around she was lying flat on her back looking startled on the pavement. Luckily after a few tears she was fine but more to find all the same. Thank God she had a helmet on. Yeah. Absolutely loved the pod and I'd such a laugh at your Wembley show. I've booked giraffe and I'm eagerly waiting for Josh's tour, but not a tour announcement. Keep up the great work you provide us with lots of laughs. Melissa from Ballant, London. It's announced Melissa

go on more website. She might have sent this in before. Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. Let's not have a go at Melissa. She's already got enough on her plate not looking after her kids probably. Mum? Are we there yet? Hello there. it's me, Harry Hill, with some exciting news. I've got a brand new podcast. It's called Are We There Yet?

And is the world's first family-friendly podcast that's designed to get you from A to B. Join me, my son Gary. Hello! Sarah the AI Bot. Hello, Harry. As we delve into the childhood memories of a motley crew of comedians, celebrities and cultural icons. Is it on now, Daddy? Yes, Gary, it is. Oh, Harry. As we delve into the childhood memories of a motley crew of comedians, celebrities and cultural icons. Is it on now, Daddy?

Yes, Gary, it is. I'll be there. Yet. So you know I did off-menu? Yes. So there's this really good no-context off-menu account where someone does like things that you've said on the podcast and they make an artwork of it or whatever. Didn't we used to have that one for our podcast? It's all stopped, didn't it?

Yeah. But so I said something about Fizzy Water and I can't even remember what I said, but it was like beat the bubbles. Like I like to do it as strong as possible. And then we talked about if that was a quiz show and then someone, this no context had mocked up Josh Ridicam's BBC One quiz show beat the bubbles. And it's good. So I put it on my Instagram story. I started getting loads of congratulations from people that I got my answer. No, just pretend you've got a new show. Because then everyone will be like bloody hell we need to get Josh on our channel. We

just got a new BBC show about bubbles. It's to beat the bubbles on BBC One. See Josh is doing beat the bubbles on BBC One. Yeah, we got anything we could put him on over here. Must be something. He's beating bubbles on BBC. Fuck it. I didn't know he did family stuff. He does. He's got a family game show. Yeah, he's loving it. He's on BBC. Yeah. He's just done another series. I think

that's what he says on his Instagram. I've thought, well, shit, of course not. I work in telly. I don't watch the telly. Just make it. And slug everyone else's show off. I think you should take it to the BBC. Yeah. Because if that I'm just thinking if that got to the BBC, you've got two big podcasts backing it already. Exactly. Be the bubbles. Speak to Gary Lineker get the rest is

bubbles podcast going. Bubble hell off bubbles. However you want to brand it. Yeah. Right. So should I go into a parallel park? Yeah, I think she got to parallel park. Michael, you okay with this? Have you checked the legalities? If you go in your car with a speaker phone on and then I'll ring your phone or you're in my, yeah, apparently if it's Bluetooth or speaker phone, you're absolutely fine. And because you're doing it on private land, it's totally obviously cause it's private land.

And if, if, if Josh, when you're, when you're doing it, if at any point a bus comes past and it's sort of stressful getting away, obviously you can mention that. And because you do have buses on your private land as well. So that's obviously why that's happening. I'm a good guy, right to Rome and all that. Yeah. Yeah. Um, all right.

Call me when you get in the car through your car phone. And am I coming back or is this the end of the podcast? This will be the end of the podcast on the phone. Okay. So I'll stop the recording, Michael, and send it to you now because I'm going out for the rest of the day. Yeah, okay. Right, okay, so I'll stay on.

Okay, are you going to fill or are we just going to do a kind of time lapse? I mean, maybe just a time lapse? Yeah, it feels like it's better. Well, I can fill with Michael. To be fair, I've done two hours already. Yeah, yeah, fuck it. Also, if we do a slightly shorter episode here, have a go at Michelle Obama for cancelling on us. Could you get the email up in front of you, Rob, so that

I've got that to him? Don't panic, I've got it. All right, I'll see you in a bit. How do you think this is going to go as a bit, Michael? My slight worry is it might go badly, but we're forced to air some of it because the episode will be too short without it. Yeah. Which is not dissimilar to some panel and entertainment shows I've worked on over the years. I really want it to be filmed as well.

Can Rose film it? I mean, it sounds like they've got a lot on their plate already. Rose, can you come out of film drop? I do want to see it filmed though. Is that her ring Rose? I don't know, because she's got the baby, isn't she? And she can't say no to me. Well, when you said, Siring Rose, I thought, I wouldn't want to make that phone call. I love Rose, but there's a noise that she'll make when you make that request. Yeah. Okay. What do I have to do? That'll be it, wouldn't it? Which is a fair noise to make. Oh, really? I've just sorted out the cardo

delivery slot and he hasn't got any crafts because he's fucked that up. Now I've got to film him parking because he's got nothing else to say on his podcast. If she knows it's going on, I think she'd be keen to watch it. And if she's watching it, she might as well film it. Yeah, so I'll ring her and say that. might as well film it. I'm sure. Yeah. So I'll ring her and say that. Hi. Oh, hello, Rose. It's Rob. Hi.

Just a quick one. Just to let you know, Josh is going to try and parallel park on the podcast. If you want to watch and laugh at him, I thought you might be interested to see that out the window. And if he's having a, feel free if it is going wrong to film it if you want to. You know I tried to give him tips on how to do it yesterday. Well he did say you can do it but he can't. I think he's ringing you. He's ringing me now. Someone's messaged in with instructions. I'm going to tell him over the phone. So he's going to try and do it now if he wanted to have a little look.

And if it goes wrong, feel free to film. Okay. All right. Well, I'll see if he's outside the house. All right. Thanks, Rose. Bye. Bye. Thanks. Okay. I'll get him he's outside the house. Alright, thanks Rose, bye. Bye, thanks. Bye. Okay, I'll get him back on it now I've not answered it. Hello? Oh sorry, some groupie rang me on the other line.

Are you ready to go? Yeah, I'm just getting out of my spot on my private land. Yeah, I love it if someone nipped in behind you while you were getting out. Well, I can't park in this spot. Because it's got, I've realised I've parked next to one of those bike shed things. So it hasn't got a... Wing mirror. A wing mirror for me to judge it on. But also, that can't work because every car's different length.

I know, I know. So I'm now looking for the perfect spot. Here's one. Okay. So do you want, tell me what you want instructions. Okay, so I'm pulling up. Yep. Next to them. What car, what car, what car you pulling up? It's a white one.

Cool. Do you want me to read the instructions? Yeah. The top tip is let the mirrors do the work. Off you go. Okay, so actually the line on the mirror is already showing the, so this must be because it's a short car.

Yeah, so line the front of your car up with the mirror of the parked car. Yeah, but it's quite a compact car, so I've already just got to start with full lock. Okay? Okay. Because I can already see the curb in my mirror. Right, okay. Full lock, and then, yep.

And then, as soon as the curb vanishes, full lock the opposite direction. But all I can see is more of the mirror, all of the curb. Yeah, but when it vanishes, you go full lock. Okay. I've gone full lock. Yeah, and then I wait for the kerb to vanish. I think it's working. Yeah? Has the kerb gone?

No way. No f-ing way. And then when the kerb goes, you full lock the other way. I have done. I'm parked. No, really? Oh, it's not the best. Please take a photo, I'll bet your mouth is off. I'll go on to a little video of it as well for the, uh, the grand. Yeah. Shall I click FaceTime?

Okay. Have you got that? Have you got me? I've got you. Yeah. Hang on. Accept. Hello.

Cool. It's a lovely tube station out in your pro- okay. It's not great. Josh, that is not except, that is fucking shit. That is the biggest space I've ever seen and you've not parked it properly. You're over the white line. You've not straightened up and you're off out.

Yeah, that's bad. And have a go at me, have a go at the system. No, but- It didn't work. It didn't work. It didn't work. It did work. Don't move it yet. Take a photo of how you parked that please, Josh.

Yeah. Do a 360 and we'll put it on the Instagram. That is fucking rubbish. I'll leave you to do some small business, but it's been a pleasure hanging out with you. Yeah. Okay. Cool.

Well, well done there, mate. I don't know how I'm now going to park this car. I don't know either, to be honest. Go back to the other space. Yeah, well that was smaller. Right. Right. Right, bye. I was just hanging up on him. I was just hung up on him. He's got a little thing going on.

Hi Lou, you alright? So, Josh was just parking a car. I'm just going to drive my car. You're going to drive your car? Okay, off you go. Bye. Okay, small business, just me now. Hi Rob and Josh. I'm a bit late to the party and only having discovered the podcast, but I'm loving it.

She's not listened to the parking the car bit yet. So glad I work on my own from home as I've been laughing hard for the last few days. I'd really appreciate if you give my small business a shout out for my little business, The Bow Shed. I make mini party hats, crowns, personalized birthday badges, and much more using quality linen, glitter and felt fabrics

for babies, children and pets birthdays. My Instagram is the underscore bow underscore shed. I also have an Etsy shop, search the bow shed under stores. But now sure, not sure if that's allowed. That's allowed, don't worry. My kids are eight and 12 and I just want to say holidays get better, you may even enjoy them. They do Vicky

I've got a six-year-old and eight-year-old. We love holidays zero to four is the tricky period loving the pod vicky big up the bow shed Guys, it's been an absolute pleasure. I can kind of express to you how shit josh's parking was and i'm genuinely Worried that he thought it was okay. See you next time. I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Doherty. And we'd like to invite you to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it.

Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it Max I'm still not sure where do we put the stress? Is it? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really downplaying it Like what did you do yesterday? Like I'm just I'm just a guy just asking a question, but do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time, I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? That's too much, isn't it? That is. That's over the top. What did you do yesterday?

Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday. I'm Natalie Cassidy. And I've been wanting to do a podcast of my own for a very long time and here it is. I'm going to be talking each week to family, friends, most importantly you. I want to talk about the issues that are bothering me, things that make me smile and how we get through that washing basket without having a nervous breakdown. This is a podcast for the general public, for the normal people. So get on board, become part of my community, and let's have a laugh.