Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S9 EP26: Joe Lycett

Episode Date: November 22, 2024

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is comedian, presenter, and artist - Joe Lycett. Joe's brilliant new book 'Art Hole' is available to buy now. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Follow us on instagram: @parentinghell  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent

about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and of course, Tales of Parenting Woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Hello.

Berger, what can you say? Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. And Josh Whit Rob Becket. Rob Becket. Josh Whitacombe. Josh Becket. Sweden. Iceland. Have you been to Iceland? I have been to Iceland. Love Iceland. Yeah, I'd like to go to Iceland. Hi Rob and Josh. This is my two and a half year old son, Berger, saying your names while his seven month old sister, Ellin...

Chips. Bit of fun. it's a bit of fun. Bangs toys together in the background. I started listening in the spring of 2023 and I've listened to the whole back catalog. Fucking hell. Respect to Reykjavik. It was especially fun listening to Josh struggle with a newborn or a toddler whilst pregnant with my second. I'm hoping for you to come and do a show in Iceland.

I'd love to. Yeah. I'll do that. Thanks for the last,ita. Bugita? Bugita? Bugita? Bugita? Bugita? Bugita? Bugita? And burger? And what's the daughter called? Elin. Elin. Elin. Elin. Elin. Burger. Iceland, international. International. Joe Lycett today. Joe Lycett today and we promised you some playground shaggers This is the last playground shaggers call out if you've got any stories, we're gonna do the playground shaggers special very soon

We're talking about illicit affairs and sex based fun Involving school parents and school teachers, but not pupils and I'm sorry this one couldn't make it onto the episode But it's so good. We're using it as a kind of training. Hi guys. I'll just say ends regards anonymous, which is always good. We know it's gonna be juicy.

Because of the nature of the correspondence, we have to stay anonymous. Yes we do. But we are parents to three kids, five and under. And your podcast has been a great source of laughs and reassurance that we are doing okay. Now to the good stuff What you'll settle for as a parent? Yeah, we know but listen to you. We're doing just doing okay

We're getting away with it well enough We have been part of the upside down pineapple community for many years actual swingers. Is that what that is? Yeah, so they are swingers. Oh, yeah, if you don't know what that means equals swingers. Yes I've told you you put an upside down pineapple in your shopping trolley. Oh yeah. And that was a little sign. If they've got it in their car, or it's like a little thing that they have upside down pineapples, like the fish for Christians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We normally meet other swingers in clubs, but occasionally use a

swingers app to find people we can swing with. One day, we got a message from a couple and started chatting. Over the next few days, we got a message from a couple and started chatting. Over the next few days, we shared explicit pictures and videos without seeing any faces. Oh, that's a bold first step, isn't it? So them two together said... I don't think that is bold if you're in the swinging community. So no one's head would involve just dicks and pussies.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Sorry. I was going to say fannies, but I thought too childish, but my pussies felt too intense. Penises and vaginas. Penises and vaginas. Maybe breasts. Finally, we decided to share face pics to see if there was a mutual attraction. That feels like the wrong order.

To see if there was a mutual attraction, surely you want to get that in early before you're sending pictures of yourselves Because if it is just a sex... But then maybe that's the fun Because they're not looking for a relationship If it is just sex and lust to be honest the body's enough really Yeah The Ed don't need to get involved

No When their pick came through we recognized her straight away It was our daughter's nursery teacher Oh my god We'd spent days exchanging videos with the woman who looks after our daughter. We told her that we recognized her and who we were. She didn't mind and still wanted to meet. It was all a bit too close to home for us. Don't shit on your doorstep.

No, exactly. Or at least check their head before you send a video of yourself shitting on the doorstep. We had to keep making excuses why we couldn't meet. Needless to stay. Pickups were very awkward after that. But luckily our child only had a few months left at nursery. Regards Anonymous. Great story. Great story. I think, Joe, if you're a swinger, you're going to live and die by those kind of things. And nursery, you're at nursery in such a short amount of time. It's what it's worth fucking everyone. I just think go for it. It's what's most worth fucking everyone up. I just didn't go for it. It's incredible that me saying pussy was probably the most PG thing that happened in that last 10 minutes.

And I thought that was going to be the rudest thing. Yep. Here is a rude man though. Joe Lysett likes a bit of rude, doesn't he? He does like a bit of rude. Very excited about having Joe Lysett on the show. Oh, so excited. It's the first time that we've had a parent on the show that when they announced that they were having a child everyone thought it was a prank. Yeah. So that

would be interesting to unpick. But we love Joe Lysett. He's got a new little baby and we're gonna chat about it. Joe Lysett, welcome to Parenting Hell. I'd say you weren't the bookies favorite to be on this year. Do you know what? No offence, but you asked me years ago to come on this podcast. I think when you just started it. Yes. And I thought, absolutely not. Hahahaha! You did have a child, but I said we could bend the rules because you're our mate and you're so funny.

Well, that's very kind. I changed my mind because I have circumstances of change, but I haven't listened to the podcast, so I don't really know why are we here? What is this? We're just going to have a lovely chat, Joe. Oh, I see. Fine, I can cope with that. Well, basically, a rundown of what this podcast is. Do you want to do the history of it? OK, it started in lockdown where Josh wanted

to do a podcast together. And he had this terrible idea about, I have to do loads of research on Wikipedia, load of bollocks, he would have died of death. Anyway, we were moaning about how hard it was having kids in lockdown and making each other laugh. And then we said, well, why don't we do episodes where we talk to other people that have got kids and make it feel real and the reality of it as opposed to all these people that are teaching their kids Spanish and doing baking and doing yoga during lockdown.

And it was basically a place for people to come to feel better about parenting. And it's just escalated to the point now. You're encouraging bad parenting, essentially, is what it is. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no generation of Andrew Tate loving bros that will continue the trajectory that we're on as a species. And that's why we've come to you. Yes. I did, you know what, I did do a small bit of research. I asked AI to tell me about the podcast.

Brilliant. And it gave me the funniest moments. Oh yeah. And it just explained them to me. And one of them did make me laugh out loud. You apparently called your, Rob, you called your wife a bitch. That's what it says. That seems very off-brand. Is that how I got microphones in my car?

This is the first point that came up. It said, Rob Beckett accidentally said shut up bitch to his pregnant wife while eating chow mein with his fingers at 1am in Chinatown. Oh yes, that's from my book actually. That was, I was drunk. And this is it. I never trust AI because it always gives you, is that from the podcast or from the podcast book? It's been in my actual book, A Class Act. Rob's used it 16 times across all the formats.

No, but I think Lou might have mentioned it in the parenting book, but, you know, we were going, she had a bitch, like that, when we were drunk, me and Matt fooled. And basically, I'd got really drunk, and Lou'd come into the Palladium to watch the show, but me and Matt were already drunk, and we were supposed to be going out on a big boozy Chinese after. You didn't know she was pregnant? No, I didn't know she was pregnant. She was coming to tell me.

And then she sort of told me, and I was really pissed, and then me and Matt were drunk. You can call a non-pregnant woman a bitch, that's fine. to tell me and then she sort of told me and I was really pissed and then me and Matt were drunk. You can call a non-pregnant woman a bitch, that's fine. I've started to, I mean calling men bitches which is quite fun like at gigs if I go shut up bitch. So you're sticking with it? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. A decade on.

I just don't think you can call a woman a bitch anymore but you can, I think you can a man. It's quite fun. I do love the word bitch and bastard. A lot of drag shows now prefer the word bastard and Why She Black, who does an iconic sort of drag competition in Birmingham, has now called it the big bastard competition. Yeah.

Where you have to be the biggest bastard. But only Northern bastard. Yes. Bastard doesn't work. It's bastard. You can't go bastard. Ivo Graham had a really good routine about, because obviously, well not obviously, but he had a child out of wedlock. Obviously had a child. Obviously had a child.

That satanic shagger. He had a long routine where he kept referring to his child by saying, I've had a bastard. You've had a bastard, Joe? Yes, we're out of wedlock, so I've had a bastard. How is your little bastard? He's very... How old is he? I didn't see it going this way, but he's very well.

Thank you for asking. Yeah. How old is he? He's just over six weeks. Oh, wow. Wow, that is... And how are you doing? I've been describing it as like a...

Comparison... As a sort of... I can't speak. That's one thing that's sort of left me, is the ability to construct sentences. But it's somewhere between lockdown and a long haul flight is what I think it is as an experience. And there are two things that I enjoy actually. I didn't love lockdown for the obvious bad things, but I enjoyed the simplicity of it

and I enjoy a long haul flight. So it's kind of fine. Are you like kind of immersed in just being in? Do you know what I mean? Are you just like living that kind of reality now? Yes, we try and do one thing a day and that's it. And the one thing might be going to the shops, it might be going to see a friend, it's that, but it's one thing and that is enough because it's, there is so much extra admin, isn't there? And lots of, the thing that has really surprised me though is I've become really into sport.

Have you? Which, yeah. Who are you? Now that's, that wasn't on the bingo card. No. I, because when I was in the States a little bit this year and I started, the basketball was on in the bar I was in. Oh, it's great.

I was interested in the basketball. Basketball. Basketball. The bastard basketball. And it's all the games are on between midnight and 5am. So when you're up doing a feed, there's something live happening, you know? So you sort of feel like the world is happening even though you're up in the middle of the night.

So I've become a fan of the Cleveland Cavaliers. And why the Cleveland Cavaliers? They are in Ohio. And the reason I was in America is I was going to all the places called Birmingham in America. Oh yeah, for Sky. For Sky Television, our great friends. And the highest concentration of Birminghams is in Ohio. There's three Birminghams there and we stayed in Cleveland because we went to a couple of Birmingham's.

Sorry, the highest concentration, such a highfalutin' word for three of something. Yes. So why is there three Birmingham's in Ohio? Who knows? Who knows? And they're good Birmingham's as well, there's a lovely one in Toledo. But Cleveland Cavaliers weren't doing so well in the past. They are winning the league since I've become a fan. Wow. Oh, wow.

They are unbeaten 15 games. I've got all, I'm mad on the stats. I know all the players names. I like a bit of basketball. LeBron James, he won it with them, didn't he? He did, yes. So I watched the old game because you can watch the old games. I mean, what's happened to me? I wasn't sporty. If you're into sports docs, there's a doc about Cleveland being the worst city for sport in America. Yeah, it's amazing. And it's a brilliant documentary. Oh, I need to watch it because Donovan Mitchell and the lads are proving that wrong.

Who's your favourite player? Donovan Mitchell's up there. And then there's a player that plays for the Bucks who my friend Yaz describes him as the crazy Greek. I can't pronounce his surname, so I'm not even going to try. Yannis Antikopou. That's the one, yeah. I think I got that right, but it's a tough surname. He's unbelievably good. Well, he's the best in the league.

Yeah, the Greek freak he's called. He's huge. He's amazing. The Greek freak. The Greek freak, that's it. Not the crazy Greek, the crazy freak. His name's the Greek freak, but there's a guy you'll love called Nikola Jokic, they spell it Joke like J-O-K but it's Jokic and they call him a Joker, Serbian. Oh is he the big guy? Yeah well I mean they're all quite big. He's the big one. He doesn't actually like playing basketball that much. He's just incredibly talented at it and he won the MVP. He's going to become the best ever at the triple doubles, which is...

It's like you with panel shows. Me with panel shows, yeah. But he turns up and they said to him, he won the championship. And they were like, oh, so excited about the parade tomorrow. You got to watch this. He goes, parade? What parade? And they go, oh, there's a parade tomorrow. And he goes, no, I've got to go home. I've got the horses. I can't.

And he just doesn't want to be there, but he's well for it. But that's nice, because it feels like you're connected with the world then. If it's live and happening. Yes. But also I've got into fandom. You know, I sort of I've started commenting on the Cavs Instagram with their catchphrases, let them know. So I put let them know and a few fire emojis after they've run away. And how much traction is that getting from Cavs fans that go, oh Joe, like is it like...

I think as close to zero as you can get. I've not actually looked, but I'm just doing it because I want to encourage them because they're doing ever so well. Are they helping you out? And they're helping me out. So that's it. Have you been to a basketball game before? No. So I started Googling that and there was one in Paris in January and the cheapest ticket was like 600 quid. Fucking hell.

I thought I could fly to Cleveland and watch a game for $20 and it'd be cheaper than going to Paris for this. Well, I go to basketball quite a lot, Joe, so I'll text you about it after. I've been to the city. Yes, please. I've been to that Paris game and I've watched Orlando Magic a few times and the atmosphere at basketball is so good. it's so much fun. What's Suzy Ruffall getting into football and now Joe Basketball?

Joe Basketball, Joe Lice. Joe Basketball, that's me. Should we do a basketball podcast, Joe? There it is. That's it. That's that. I'm in. Well, the thing about it, it's obviously in the genes because my dad used to coach basketball

when I was a kid so I was around it a little bit then. Did you play? Did he play? No, did you? Like, how early on? He tried to get me to play once. Joe, why did you play? He was the Birmingham bastard. He was unbelievable. The great freak. The Birmingham bastard. The crazy Brummie. That's what they called me. No, my dad tried to do like a kind of crash course with me once and became, it became very clear that I was not going to be a basketball player. And so he's been humiliated with whatever I've become.

What I would say about watching sport at night is I got into getting up at 5am with our second child for the Olympics when he woke up, a similar thing. And then when the Olympics ended, he was just getting up at 5am. I had no company then. So you know, basketball goes on for ages. Oh yeah, it does though. You had no company then. So, you know. Basketball goes on for ages. Oh yeah it does though. You'll find the playoffs.

There's games all the time. There's one question. There's one on Christmas Day. They play Christmas Day. Do that! Yes I saw that! But that's their thing. It was a thing about basketball so much.

But it starts all day, like the whole day. People are so excited about us getting Joe Lysa on. Can you shut up about basketball? Sorry, yeah, yeah, sorry. I started it. I'm a new person. I've got a baby and I love basketball. This is like the fucking Joe Rogan podcast. What's going on? Yes. Also, this still might be a prank. I've not seen the kid yet. Well,

there was a lot of talk, Joe. I've been asked, I presume you've been asked, Rob. There was a lot of people asking me whether your child was a prank. Yeah. I was trying to work out what would the prank be? Do you know, like what's, cause there's always an end game for what I do. And I was thinking, well, what would the prank be, you know, like what's because there's always an end game for what I do and I was thinking well what would the point of it be? Would it be a comment on the overcrowding of the NHS? Could be that. I mean you could you could turn it into all sorts of things but I do think it's it's bold to pretend you've had a baby isn't it? And also to be holding an actual child in the announcement I think it's all, you don't

have to start borrowing children for your own media push. Yeah, well lots of people thought it was a... he was a potato, because apparently I wasn't holding his neck properly in that particular case. Oh, I love that Instagram comment about holding a baby. I'm deep in that now, being told how to parent from Daily Mail comments. Were you nervous about announcing it? Well, yeah. I mean, basically didn't want to at that stage and sort of was slightly encouraged by the Great British Press. And so we were very happy in our little sort of

bubble and then it sort of was popped. But actually everyone by and large has been really nice about it and we've been really sort of heartened by it. But it's an odd one because I wanted to sort of talk about it when I'd worked out how to talk about it, you know to me, worked out how to write it into stand-up or something and wanted to just experience it rather than sort of trying to turn it into a joke or just live it and then write the stuff afterwards. But actually everyone's been really nice. It's just the press thing. I've never I don't know if you guys have had the sort of pap experience, because I've not really, when you go to events, you expect camera, uh, cameraman, what do you call them? Paparazzi. Yeah. But you are getting it in the street a bit now, aren't you? Like, yeah. And I've

never had that before and I don't love it. It's quite, um, it's sort of, I get it now. I sort of go, Oh, I see. I see why people don't enjoy that because it does feel you just don't know where they are. And the thing that I loved, there was a journalist that came up to Birmingham and was knocking on neighbors doors and going to hard every runs the corner shop and went to everyone. And he spoke to my dad, he managed to find where my parents lived. And he spoke to my dad and he said to the dad, because dad didn't give him a statement, he said, oh, I've come up from London for this. Do you have anything to say?

And he went, have a safe journey back. But yeah, so it's a bit odd, but I'm hoping it sort of dies down now. And I get it. You know, I think it is, as you say, it's unexpected for me to have a baby because lots of people think of me as the sort of the gay bloke off the telly essentially. But I have in most of the times when I've talked about my sexuality been sort of open about that I'm not gay. But I do think, I do think that's interesting.

I think there's loads of good stand up in it. But it's just, it's sort of caught me off guard and in a quite vulnerable time, you kind of get trying to protect people and then suddenly it's all... Oh, it's difficult. Totally. Because you're exhausted and you're kind of emotionally all over the place, presumably at that point. Yeah, yeah.

But you know, that's the game we play, isn't it? Can we really launch Black Friday deals early? As Sunwing's financial advisor, I say, hold my coconut. You actually did it. It's simple. People want more from their vacation, right? A Sunwing vacation does that. Why deny the people what they want? And with these Black Friday vacay deals, they'll be sipping a mojito by Tuesday.

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Yes I'd say you're all at risk. You're all at risk. Yes. Or if it was a late show at the store or somewhere I'd say I can and will fuck all of you. Very aggressive. But yeah, so that's it. It's sort of, I have talked about it. Of course, not everyone needs to know everything about me, of course, but it's just so interesting. People who don't know that much about me have seen maybe a quick clip, just go, gay bloke. And then when they

see that other bit of information, they go, oh, don't know. You know, robots going, of course. It's a bit like when people see me eating sushi. They go, oh, come on mate, fuck it, you lied, I thought you were, but you're that. I'll write it in. I've never seen you eating sushi. I love a bit of sushi. Do you? I've had a sushi, yeah.

I feel like I've seen you eating sushi. Oh yeah, you've seen me eat sushi. But it's just with your fists. Yeah, yeah. I just pounded it. One big ricey ball straight down. The other thing I was going to say about that sort of press intrusion at the start, I do think that will die down because obviously we do this podcast when we talk about our

kids, but I don't put my kids' names anywhere or their faces anywhere. If you don't put them in the public eye with their pictures and stuff like that, then they can't put pictures up. So if you're just going about your day in Birmingham, they'll get really bored of just photos of you and two pixelated people going in and out of a house. Yeah, that's it. That's all they sort of can do at this point, I think. And yeah, but I think what they're expecting is that like after hours, rather than watching NBA games, I'm having gay ories. And are you working much at the moment? Not really. No, I'm doing like little dribs and drabs, but I'm going to try and take paternity leave.

Oh, very modern. What a surprising thought. How long did you guys have? Did you guys take time off? Because it's a different beast with our jobs. It's kind of different because there's certain things you have to do. Well, not have to. It's freelance, isn't it's certain things you have to do, well not have to. It's freelance isn't it?

So no one's going to pay us to stay at home. So I just kind of eased down to absolutely necessary stuff. Yes. Like, well I suppose none of it's necessary. It's a century. If I don't hear what you and Adam Hill think about the news this week. So I took on some work as a midwife actually, because that is essential work. So I did like this and the Friday last leg, but without doing the meetings or

something, it was like that for a bit. Yeah. I had my kids at a point when I was still like trying to get some money in, like now I could, I've got enough sort of saved up that I could take a bit of time off. But for your third one. Well, no, I'm not having a third one, but like, I remember, cause I just got enough saved up that I could take a bit of time off. For your third one? Well, no, I'm not having a third one. But I remember, because I'd just got on Taskmaster, which was a massive opportunity. I went and was rolling around on a running track, covered in goo shit, after five days.

And then you went on Taskmaster. A bit of fun. We could all enjoy that. He's still got it! He's still got it! They write him off! What's your sleeping pattern at the moment, then a six week old? What's going on? Well, there's sort of no pattern. I watched this video that someone sent to me about how to sort of, it's the five S's where you sort of swaddle, shush, suck, and there's a couple of other ones, side and whatever. And that seems to work.

So if I would want to get him off, it takes a bit of time, but I kind of put him on his side and then do this sort of shushing him essentially. And then we get about three, four hours and then we kind of alternate. So I'll take him downstairs, see what LeBron's up to see what Darius Garland's doing, beautiful, beautiful sportsman. And then, uh, and then I'll hand him back and I'll get some sleep. And as I say, we're not, we're only doing one thing a day most days. So we kind of can lie in and all that, unless it's baby cinema day, which I'm obsessed with where it's a morning cinema trip where you watch, we watched

heretic last week, horrible films. That's awful. That with like violence and gore and whatever. And it's just full of babies. Fab. And is it watchable or are people like crying and then there's some who are falling asleep? No, it sort of really is sort of watchable. I think there's something about the kind of warmth and the dark room that sort of soothes all the babies. So they obviously they stir a bit,

but then- If they kick off, most parents walk out. Is it quiet? Have you not been? Do you never do it? To baby cinema? Yeah. No, I didn't do baby cinema. This is it, because I love film, but I sort of got out of the habit of going to the cinema because it? To a baby cinema? Yeah. No, I didn't do a baby cinema. This is it, because I love film, but I sort of got out of the habit of going to the cinema because it feels like quite a lot to do. Whereas this, because it's in the morning, you don't feel like you've got rid of your

evening and now, you know, we watch Heretic, we watch Joker 2, we watch the Trump film. Glad you had a tune-up, actually. So it seems like I'm really up to speed with all of Hollywood film in a way that I've never been before. Basketball and movies. Yeah. You turned into an American jock. You're going to vote Trump next year.

Yes. Well, I'm very maga as we all know. Are you doing any art? Yes, I did one painting while he was on my lap and he seemed to be... It was a blue and yellow painting and I think the contrasting colors was interesting to him, so it kept him soothed. But it's quite tricky to do art with one hand. It's not something I've been able to do loads of. I've lost the ability to construct, what's the word, metaphors and similes and things

like that. So I can't write at the minute. You're just tired. You don't put your pressure on yourself. You're six weeks into being a dad. You don't need to be turning out material. But this is the thing with paternity is like people that I know have just had babies who've got proper jobs, they've gone back after two weeks. And I totally get the paternity thing now where why people are protesting about

it because it is, that's just not enough time. You're just, you're running on completely on empty. And so the more time you can spend, you know, you've got the luxury of having time to yourself to enjoy being a new dad. But you always think someone else is dealing with it better than you are. They're probably rushing off to their like what you call proper job and going like, oh my God, I just blacked my way through that meeting. I don't know what's going on. I've not replied to that email. I've not done this. I've not done that.

Also sometimes that's a little bit of a break. Do you know what I mean? If your job isn't too, I'll be honest, doing this or something, you're like, I get to go upstairs for three hours and there's no responsibility on me. I mean, yeah, this is a piece of piss. If you can't do this podcast of uncertainty, you're smashing it, Joe. You're flying. Instead of you can't work. And you've got to book out. And you're promoting your art book, which I've bought. I've actually bought a copy of, Joe. Oh my God. Thank you. I know. Who do I... Well, I've just asked Michael to get one from the publisher.

Well, I'll send you... send me bank details. I'll refund you. My God. No, don't worry about it. Because you sent me the brilliant Parenting Hell book and I loved that you sent it with contoms. I thought that was very funny. I mean, lesson not learned there. Well, if only you'd bloody used it, Joe, you wouldn't be on air doing your promo. Love to know if anyone's used them. Don't write in. The only people I know that did branded condoms are you and JLS.

Well, we're very similar. Very similar. It's a brilliant book. Shall I tell you what it is? It's called Joe Lysitz Art Hole and it's out now and you can delve inside Joe Lysitz Art Hole to discover the truth behind his most iconic, famous and infamous portraits of some of the most influential people in the world. And it's got your amazing artwork. But it's got lots of stuff around it and it's a beautiful coffee table book, but it's not just a collection of stuff. It's like beautifully written and so it looks like a lot of work. Yeah it was a lot of work but it was the most sort of resistance free work that I've done

in ages because I find standard really hard to write and yet writing that was really pleasant most of the time and then I tried it as standard I did some live dates and loved performing and it sort of worked and I was like oh, writing funny stuff can be fun. Because a lot of the time, I don't know why I get, I don't know if you feel the same, I get really in my head about writing standup and go, what will Steve Bennett make of this? For people at home, Steve Bennett is a,

he's the critic from chortle.co.uk. That's the chap, yes. As you start in standup, you really care about that. But as you move on a bit, it dies down. Well, he's occupying space in my brain still. Is he? Yes.

So writing this, I sort of didn't expect to be performing it because it was just essentially it's the sort of captions that I put on Instagram when I post my paintings, just sort of flights of fancy kind of nonsense, see where it takes me, but sort of expanded out. And it's really fun to write because you just think of a celebrity that you're a bit obsessed with and then just imagine what they would be like in a room with Lorraine Kelly and then off you go. And you sort of, you just add more things to it and see how it plays out. Well, a bit more escapism, I think.

Where stand up, you feel like you need to, especially when you've done it from the start, be a bit more like biographical. Like, hey, I'm Joe, this is me, this is what I think about this, where with this you can just be carefree and go oh that's just funny for the sake of funny. Yeah exactly, you can just write jokes. So it's been a lot of fun and people have been very nice about it and sadly I didn't get the artwork in that you have Josh of Wayne Lineker. Oh, you've got an original Joe Lysett.

I went to see the Royal Academy show and your picture of, was it ever Gary Lineker this time? Yes, I've just, this is the first time I've realised that I've done both Linekers. I've only done the one Lineker but I've painted both. Oh, of course you've met Gary from your prank podcast as well. Yeah, that was the first time I had a chat with him about it because I wasn't sure if he was annoyed about the painting because I didn't know him and my friend took a picture of me, we were in Los Angeles, of me in the pool having a pint of beer and he was in the background and then when she sent it to me his face is

so, it does, I don't know if he is looking at me but it looks like he's looking at me and he's really angry with me. But it felt very, as a kind of composition, felt like a Hockney and the pool with a light dancing off it and all that. So I thought let's just try it as a painting. And I was really pleased with it. Royal Academy accepted it. But I wasn't sure if Gary felt annoyed that I'd captured that moment of him in anger or whatever. He was very chill about the whole thing. He's quite pleased with it.

Oh, nice. With the art book, do you see art not as your job in the same way? Is the reason you find comedy more stressful? Is art is like a hobby that you get to do, admittedly it job in the same, is the reason you find comedy like more stressful is art is like a hobby that you get to do. Admittedly it's in the public eye and people can buy it and stuff, but that's your passion. Whereas comedy is your kind of job. A bit. I have really been missing standup. That's one thing that in the last few weeks I've kind of, I've been jotting things down

because I love performing standup. It's the writing of it that I don't get like the most kicks out of. And, but I used to go and watch stand-up before I was a stand-up. And I used to love that just before a show, seeing the mic in the stand and just thinking one person is going to speak into that and entertain us for 20 minutes, half an hour. And what an amazing thing that is. And I remember really finding that really cool and really inspirational. I love stand up and I love painting.

So both of those things I get, I'm soothed by in a weird way when I do, actually do stand up and I love after a gig, I'm much happier than I am before the gig and all of those things in the same way that I am about painting. But painting is a lot more Zen and a lot more quiet and all that. But I kind of think I will need both in my life as I go forward. painting but painting is a lot more zen and a lot more quiet and all that but I kind of think I will need both in my life as I go forward. Do you write on stage or do you write beforehand? Because I'll go on with bullet points but I actually do all my writing whilst the gigs happening and that's more fun for me

because I couldn't sit in a room. You said that to me before. I do write a bit on stage but I have to start with a little nub of an idea. Have you thought about painting and doing the stand-up at the same time almost like a guitar comedian where you could be, or would you not be that? Comedy painter, Joe. I like the way you say guitar comedian with such disdain. Yeah, and I stand by that. Fuck off and join a band or write some proper jokes, put the guitar down. I did, there was a podcast, who does that lovely podcast where you paint and talk at

the same time? And I think it's good for kind of wistful long thoughts, but it's not great for the kind of gag rate you want in standup, I would say. You could be doing 20 minutes standup while painting, and then you turn it around. And it's the audience. And it's a picture of someone in the front row. Oh, that's a nice thought.

But then maybe if it's the annoying person, the more heckler, you could just paint them as this little gargoyle thing, and then as you turn around, that's the ultimate slam at the end of you've gone. That is you, good night. I mean you've got to know early on who your target is. I normally know. It feels like there's a lot going on. I'm tired Rob.

I've said at the start I'm tired. You're now adding to my plate. Yeah, that's a bad idea. Do you ever mess up a painting? Does it ever go wrong? Oh all the time, yeah yeah yeah. I post most of the ones that I do on to Twitter or Instagram or whatever. But there's quite a lot that you'll get

where the colors are off or if it looks not like the person, that's not a failure to me. Actually, that's generally a success because I find it funny when they look caricature-y and weird. It's more when like the composition doesn't feel right or the words aren't quite right or colors are weird. It's more when like the composition doesn't feel right or the words aren't quite right or colors are off. That's when I kind of get a bit annoyed and then I'll just put it to one side. But generally, generally I don't because I sort of know I get an idea in my head and then I just run with it. I'm quite impulsive like that. I'm less I think stand up encourages that doesn't it? You sort of just follow your nose a bit

rather than plotting things loads. Will you paint your son? There's a thought. I did a painting. Actually, I've got to speak to him about this. This is Ed Gamble actually of a revival podcast. So I painted a baby in a bath and then the caption around it was wear a condom. Ed's got that has he? So Ed said, oh, can I have that? So I think I sold it to him or maybe gave it to him. I can't remember. So I was looking for, um, I can't remember what I was

looking for. I was probably searching my own name on Google on like an art resale website. So I need to find out if Gambler's trying to cash in. That is surely not. I text him now find out. Yeah. Cause I Yeah, because you had a sloth, my daughter's obsessed with sloths, so he had a sloth on him, I think you'd already sold it, I was trying to buy that bit. Oh yes.

Because the thing is, it's difficult for you with your artwork, because it must be worth a decent wedge now, but if your friends wanna buy them, you don't wanna take the piss, but selling it or giving it to a mate, and then they stick it in a resell, that is friendship overfilled.

You know what, Joe, I've had to, because if you have certain items above a level of cost you have to insure them separately on your house yeah and I've made the executive decision that I think your artwork you gave me is probably worth more than that now. I don't know this is it I haven't really sold any art on the open market. Also no offence who's gonna fucking nick it? Don't get me wrong if you're a burglar at East London, I don't think you're aware of the sort of new hot trends in the fucking arts scene.

Oh yeah, that's what I'm saying. You got the watches, you got the telly, someone get that, I think they might go on John Lisey's on the rise. No one's stealing a telly anymore. That's what they said about the scream, Rob, and that got stolen, it'll be the same people. Yes. Quick, grab the white lidicum. Ed has not resold your lice at picture. Is that what he said? Yeah. Oh okay. Must be a copy. Yeah. I wonder what's going on there

then. It was quite an obscure website so it might just be some sort of scam going on but I thank you for doing that research for me. I'll take him off the hit list. What you're listening to and most importantly... Can we come? Where would you go, Paul? Do you know what? I'd go anywhere in 1995. I don't care where it is. I think 1995 was the peak of all human existence. The clothes, the music, everything. What would you listen to? Well, I'll be honest, if I'm in a good mood, it's an Oasis playlist.

If I'm in a bad mood... It's an Oasis playlist. Absolutely. Come and join us wherever you get your podcasts for the best night out of your life. You said you're quite impulsive, Joe, with your like, ah, and your stand up and stuff like that, and you follow your nose. What are you like as a parent then? Are you reading all the books or are you just seeing how the baby reacts to what you're

doing or is your partner a bit more reading the books? How are you doing it? I don't know if you've heard of the Instagram algorithm, but it provides everything you need in parenting. My algorithm is such a mess, because it's now like a mixture of basketball, baby stuff. There's still like the occasional twink, then there's like step stuff.

I mean, it's such a mad mix of things that's going on. I think the algorithm is very confused by me. This can't be a real human. Yeah it's just someone testing it. I've done a lot of, I did a bit of reading before he was born, I've not read Load since he's been born and then a lot of YouTube videos were just sort of tutorial-y things and the swaddling video, those sorts of things. And just advice from whoever. You're good friends with the Perrys, aren't you? Grayson and Philippa Perry.

Yes, and her book is, that's one of the books that I read before and I loved that, found that really reassuring because I thought that I had to be like really strict and dad-like and sort of go, no, we don't do that. I'm very sort of hard. It doesn't work from you, Joe. I've just sat there for six weeks. We do not do that. We do not sick on my trousers.

Yeah, that sort of noise. I have to I am becoming a bit worryingly dad-like. I started getting things wrong because I said the other day, I called a gif a meme. It's starting. It's starting. It's a real, I feel it sort of seeping into my blood. It's a real worry. Do you know what I do when my kids laugh at me, when I ask Siri to do anything, you know, like play a song, I'll say, Taylor Swift, I can do it with a broken heart please. And I say please and thank you to Siri. And they'll go, you don't need to do that. It's just manners. It's Siri. It keeps thinking you want a song called Please. Oh God, we're all old. Do you feel, do you feel middle aged Joe?

Yes, but I always did actually. I mean, sort of never felt, I've always felt elderly. I've always felt brittle and, you know, opinionated, a bit racist, all of those things. God, I am MAGA. I'm MAGA, I'm getting things wrong. That's why the Daily Mail are always looking for a comment for you, Joe. They know it would fly. That'll be Joe Lyset now MAGA fan after baby. Yeah. Well, yes, they'll write what they write. Is there anything that surprised you a little bit that you wasn't expecting or was actually

easier? I'd spoken to a lot of dads and there was a kind of consensus with a lot of the men that I spoke to that they felt that they were kind of subsidiary and that they found it a bit of an ego hit in the first few weeks because they weren't the kind of main thing. Really? Who have you been speaking to? Donald Trump? Do you mean, sorry, do you mean the main thing with the baby or the main thing with the mum?

Both, I think. And actually some people were quite specific, sort of saying, I'd worried that I'd replaced myself with the child. Oh my word. God, Jesus. You've got to stop asking insecure comedians for advice. Thank you. Your first mistake. But I've not felt that at all. I feel really, obviously I'm not providing any liquids at

this point. Well, that's the thing is you're maybe breastfed because I found, because we couldn't do breastfeeding, it didn't work for us. I was way more involved with the bottle feeding. So I can imagine if it is purely breast, you're not needed in the night or whatever, then you do feel a bit excluded because there's literally nothing you can do. No, well, I'm doing a bit of expressed basically. So it is, I am involved in that process a little bit. Joe's downstairs, big foam hand watching the basketball while they're, let's go defense. Exactly.

Let's go defense. That is my life. About 3am every night I'm there watching a basketball game with a bottle in my hand basically and not a nice bottle of crisp cold gold. But I also, I love washing and I'm now just like the person that washes everything, which I always was, but I really, and I bought a tumble dryer which is the best thing I've ever bought. I think I'm more in love with the tumble dryer than I am my son. And muslins, loads of muslins loads of muslins They dominate your life for about a year and a half and you never see one ever again. Yeah, is that right?

Yeah, honestly, oh, I saw you and we've still got a draw. No, and occasionally I'll spill some I think Maybe I'll just get a muslin. It's just easy They're just so good. I just think they just they soak up a lot of stuff. It's a skinny tea towel, isn't it? Yeah, but it's more absorbent. I just I said muslin. That's the most wrong back Just a skinny Thinking that it's a skinny tea towel, but I said muslin so much and I've not said it today for about four years Yeah, so I was worried that my ego would take a big hit and actually Yeah, so I was worried that my ego would take a big hit and actually it hasn't thus far. But I think it will come later down the line when he doesn't respect me.

And when I say, I've won a BAFTA, like that won't, he won't care. I was on the parenting hell podcast. Show me some respect. The only time I feel a little bit like that, I'll be accepting, I don't really care that I'm like bottom of the pecking order when it comes to importance of the house, that's fair. I get that. It's just sometimes, say I got in at like 2am and I've got up at 6am and I don't mind that but I'm making them all breakfast and as I'm making them breakfast they go, can

you put the telly on and get me a glass of water? And I'm like, fuck off. I'm not even awake, I've been up and they treat you like staff. Have you heard of Newbury Corn Exchange? Because it's less than 12 hours ago that I was struggling through two hours of material to those pricks. Do you know what I love when I do a Corn Exchange and it never really gets a laugh, it makes me laugh.

I go, quite a bit of some fucking corn swapped in here. Sweet corn for your popcorn. I just love that you think that a difficult task is turning on the television and getting a glass of water. Oh, just you wait, Joe. Well, Joe, it's not a difficult task, but it is to do it at the same time. As you're making pancakes and you're packing a bag and you're filling a water bottle. And you've been doing it every day for eight fucking years.

Like you're doing time inside. I don't want to make a small person breakfast anymore. Yeah, that's it. I am at the start of this, aren't I? Your kids must be old enough almost to make their own breakfast. Yes, they probably could. And turn on the television and get a glass of water. Yes, come on.

Oh no, we've got a cooker tap. It is a bit dangerous for a child to do because they could get boiling water. My tip to you, Joe, would-hmm your house is gonna change beyond recognition Into a child's house, okay, don't resist Just go with it for the next decade. It's that you're talking to a man that is resisting and he's Fervent is one and it's still too small. It's not too small. No, it's perfect. We're just refurbing It's a this perfect for a family. What changes are you making to make it perfect for a family? More storage? Storage is key, but I'm glad that you seem to be in a very good space with it. You're enjoying it

I think it's interesting when you say about turning into an authority figure. Do you think you've got that in your locker? No, that's that's what frightens me about it Nobody's taking me seriously at all when I tell them to not do something. Well, people don't even believe you when he says he's having a baby. No. Yeah, exactly. Nobody believes me. Nobody trusts me.

It's a nightmare what I've created for myself. You must go in the bank to do something. They go, oh, here we go again. Yeah, bloody hell. Yeah, so that's what I liked about the Philippa Perry book is that it, she sort of was basically said, oh, well, it's more about sort of being a safe space for them and not kind of being absent and allowing them in the whole time and loving them. And then they have the confidence to go out further because they know that they can always come back to a sort of nice space.

But I do worry I'm going to spoil him and that I'm going to just sort of like be boundaryless. Do you have any things on your bucket list to do that you're looking forward to now? You've got a child of like, you know, the first Cleveland game or, you know, but is there stuff that you look forward to and you're excited for? I'm looking forward to the first time he comes around Uncle Rob's and he gets him a glass of water and turns the television on. I'll show you how to do do it both at the same time. I want to see his art.

That's one thing that I can't wait for. Yeah, that's exciting, isn't it? I've seen these frames that you can get where you can kind of change the art in and out. It takes an A4 piece of paper and then the last bit of art goes at the back. And I've seen people do walls of them and I'm really excited for that because I think that will be such a lovely thing to sort of see the development of his. Yeah I collect everything they do and put it together. Yeah that is great. What if he's not into it Joe?

Right dates on the back Joe. Oh that's a good idea, yeah because you'll forget won't you of course. Do you know the one I like is also the measuring of the head. Have you got a head measuring? What the measuring of the head? That sounds weird. Measuring a head measuring? The measuring of the head, that sounds weird. The measuring of the head? The measuring of the height on the door frame. Oh, yes. I remember that when I was a kid. Yeah, so you threw us by saying measuring the head.

Yeah, I just like to, each morning I like to measure the head to check they're getting cleverer. You mean the height of the child. Yeah, the height of the child. Not the circumference of the, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I do it differently. I am making a graph of the size of my child's head. I do it every morning. It's not a fucking tree trunk. I cut the head off and count the rings. Yeah. I've done a lot of, I mean, less so now, but the first sort of two weeks, I did a lot of crying

because I did a lot of like nostalgia the future. Imagine what he was like when he was 20 and then worried about him when he's an old man and I can't be there for him and all this stuff. Yeah. Well, don't worry. The world will be a post-apocalyptic wasteland by then, Joe. Exactly. I eased myself out of it knowing that we'll all be dead within 10 years anyway. We're doomed as a species, so it's fine. But I was listening to a lot of Laura Marling at the time as well, which is bad. My advice to any new fathers, don't do it.

Yeah, you become incredibly emotional, incredibly easy. Yeah, and to very simple things. Like we watched I'm a Celebrity last night, which I never do. It's great, isn't it? I love this. Joe is just, is this alternative crazy artist that should be coming me,

he's gonna go move to the suburbs, feet up, basket the one, here we go. Bloody put on the jungle. You'll come crawling back to Mr. Mainstream eventually. Well, the Christmas adverts made me cry. Did they make you cry? Oh, John Lewis hit me like an absolute dagger in the heart. Did he?

Yeah, because I'm just, I'm a sitting duck. Yeah, emotionally. Yes, that's exactly it. How was the birth? Was it a stressful birth? Was it quite straightforward? Because that can sometimes leave a bit of a post-traumatic crying. Yeah, no, I found all of that kind of, I mean, I wasn't doing it, so it was magic for me. Oh, there's another scoop we've got.

Rob the Mail will be all over that. Lyset didn't have his own baby. Well, that's the prank is I actually did. But I'm sending you off into a different direction. Like the film Junior, if you were the first person to do that. If anyone's going to do it is me. It is yeah. I think you're one of the few people where it wouldn't define you. I think you've done enough and your life is broad enough. That wouldn't be the first thing in your obituary.

Speaking of things coming back to bite you on the ass, when we went to register his name, the registrar, is that what you call them? Said to me, have you been known by any other names? And I said, no. And then I looked over at my partner and she was, she sort of furrowed her brow and I went, oh yeah, I was known as Hugo Boss for a while. And she had to sort of go into it in really granular detail. And she said, you kind of got lucky because she did this whole spiel at the start about how in, you know, in the Birmingham registry office, all the documents are still downstairs in the basement. So your birth certificate.

And then she said, Ozzy Osbourne's birth certificate in the sort of same breath, which I'm imagining that it's written in bat's blood down there. And then she said, so his will join those certificates. And so she sort of made a big deal about how sort of it's there for everyone. And then she basically said, if you were called Hugo Boss on your, I think, passport or something, then we will have to put that on his birth certificate. And the father is Joe Lysett, also known as Hugo Boss.

Fortunately, the passport was rejected because my signature is Hugo Boss. When I was Hugo Boss for that period was a cock and balls. So they rejected it. The passport. Oh, thank God for that. So were you never actually officially known as what was the... It was DeedPoll, but it didn't get... You do the DeedPoll document.

There's different ways of doing DeedPoll, but we did the kind of was DeedPoll, but it didn't get, you do the DeedPoll document, there's different ways of doing DeedPoll, but we did the kind of basic DeedPoll. Then it went off to the driving people and the passport office and they both rejected it because the signature was Hugo Boss, but I made, I think, the B of Boss into like a bell end and then a couple of balls basically. You're a comedian, you don't miss an opportunity like that, do you, Joe? Yes, of course, you're always going to do that. The B was the balls and and the os was the shaft.

Yeah, perfect. Yes, yes. How are you not doing that as a comic, you know? And so did you then have to get it changed back by DeedPole? Technically, yeah, but as long as it's not been registered as a DeedPole, then you kind of get away with it, I think, is what she sort of said. Sorry, I'm boring myself. No, no, it's interesting.

I'm genuinely interested in how the paperwork works. It's one of my great regrets is I didn't keep Hugo Boss as my name because I think the joke is funnier if I'd stayed Hugo Boss. Yeah. I was sort of persuaded out of it and I should have kept it. It's an ad to be nightmare though. But it was an admin nightmare. Yeah. When we went to register my daughter, her middle name is Virginia after my gran. I must have told you this. And the woman, you have to check all the spellings and she'd written vagina. Whoa. Yeah. And I was quite embarrassed. Vagina Widdicombe. Oh, I see. So they missed the I. Did they miss the last I?

They missed the last I. Oh, so vagina. So it was Virgin A. Yeah. My nickname at school. Oh, it's a vagina. So it was Virgin A. Yeah. My nickname at school. That's your firstborn, isn't it? I think I remember I sent something for her and you told me that it was a nightmare to get because I put it in her name.

You weren't in to get the parcel and the post office wouldn't give you because she couldn't approve it. I don't remember this, but that sounds incredibly likely. You sent me a book for my daughter when she was born. Please go the fuck to sleep book. Oh yes. I haven't sent you a... oh that's bad. We'll send you a big thing from this podcast.

Yeah let's send you a... I'm not doing that anymore. I was thoughtful back in the days. I have no time for it. You're thoughtfulness. You're just like fuck that now. No I'm thoughtful but I've just been too busy to get it done. I don't want anything from either of you.

Please, you've given enough. Well let us give you this final gift. Your book, Joe Lysets A-hole, is out now and I'd say it's a beautiful piece of work. Oh, thank you Josh. That's very kind. He's only saying that to drive the price up of his fucking waylinica. Yeah, some things are too expensive to be featured in it. And I suppose if you own the original of one of the ones that wasn't in it. Yes. By the way, that's in the lockup

at the moment because of decoration before any criminals break in. Yeah, I'd like one as well, Joe. So let me know if you're selling one. I'll have it off you. Okay. Well, I mean, if you, if there's a specific celeb or animal, I know you said sloth, but if there's, if there's anything you're interested in, I mean, I feel like maybe I should have a go at a portrait of you. Oh, yes, please to go in your lounge Amazing above the fire a giant portrait of Rob, maybe just the teeth maybe just the mouth I like the Rolling Stones. I don't season on me now Lovely final question for Joe?

Yeah, why not? Can we get your book, just book shops in it, your website or just Google it? Yes, well the place that I recommend is bookshop.org. Let me just make sure that I've got that right. Because what I didn't know about it before, yes, bookshop.org. I didn't know about it. Basically it will put profits from the sale of the book will go to your local independent bookshop. Oh yeah, there's another one called Hive that is the same.

If you're a bar-mart, go Amazon. I get all the money. They will sell it cheaper on Amazon. If you want it cheapest, there it is. Joe, thank you so much for doing this. One final question. What is it about, we ask everyone this, feel free, you don't want to answer that, that's absolutely fine. But we always ask, what does your partner do as a parent that you absolutely love and you're like oh my god I'm so lucky to have a child with you and what's the one thing she does that at the moment is a little bit frustrating but you don't want to bring it up because everyone's a bit tired and trying their best and you don't

want to ruin a lovely trip to the cinema. Okay the issue with this is I'm just gonna be soppy and not funny at all. People want to see that from you they want to see behind the riot sides. We want's fine. People want to see that from you. They want to see behind the go. They want the truth. We want the truth. Yeah. That's what we want from you. Well, she's just really taken like a duck to water with it. And I'm immensely proud of her and everything that she's doing.

So there's like loads of things that I'm delighted with the way that she's doing it and how patient she is and all of that. Anything that she's doing that I don't like, she's not really providing enough washing at this stage. She's not providing enough washing. Sometimes a tumble dryer is out of action and I'd like more. Tumble dryers are good, aren't they?

She was saying that a lot of women after giving birth sort of will piss themselves and she hasn't done that. If she could piss herself, that'd be great. And what I like most is this was Jo Lysa's most open and loving and ended with that she hasn't pissed herself. Jo, thank you so much. We've absolutely loved it. We're so happy for you.

What a pleasure. So nice to see you and thanks for your advice and for your kindness. We're always here whenever you want us. And thanks for not either of you sending a gift for my son. And we will see you on here the next time you've got something to promote. Tell you what, Joe, I'll get you tickets to the basketball in Paris. I would love that. I'd love to come with you to a game.

Oh, I'd love to hear about you two. Let's go to Cleveland. Let's do a parenting hell Cleveland special. Oh yes, please. If we can get one of the players. Oh my god. Well, yeah, okay. Well, that's fucking to Cleveland. Let's do a parenting hell Cleveland special. Oh yes please. If we can get one of the players. Oh my god. Oh well yeah okay well that's fucking escalated. I was gonna just go and get him a couple of tickets.

Now I've got to try and make friends at the Cleveland thing. I want a courtside picture. With Donovan Mitchell please. Cheers Joe. Thanks mate. Thanks guys. Bye. Thank you.

That was Joe Lyset. Thank you so much to him. What a hero. I loved Joe Lysett. He was such a lovely man We've all known each other for so long I know we've all grown up and I do feel a bit sorry for him because I think some of the comments online obviously It was a bit of a shock to the public of him having a baby But he doesn't talk about his private life at all. So he's not like all of a sudden He's not like Molly May, who I know another baby when that's his life. So he's always been quite private.

And he's also, like we said, from the start of doing standup and being on TV, his bisexuality has always been open and out there. So good luck to you. Because you used to always start by saying that you're heterosexual as well. That was a weird start. Yeah, okay. Hey guys, I'm hetero. So only the women are at risk.

Anyway. No women. No. Anyway. I'm hetero. So only the women are at risk. Anyway. No women. No. Anyway. I'm a good guy. Bye. Bye. I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Doherty. And we'd like to invite you to our new podcast,

What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure, where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean?

What did you do yesterday? I'm really downplaying it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just I'm just a guy just asking a question, but do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? That's too much, isn't it? That's over the top. What did you do

yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday. from the world of entertainment and design their perfect night out. Where are you going? What year is it? What are you wearing? What are you listening to? And most importantly... Can we come? Where would you go, Paul? Do you know what? I'd go anywhere in 1995. I don't care where it is.

I think 1995 was the peak of all human existence. The clothes, the music, everything. What would you listen to? Well, I'll be honest. If I'm in a good mood, it's an Oasis playlist. If I'm in a bad mood... It's an Oasis playlist. Absolutely. Come and join us wherever you get your podcasts for the best night out of your life.