Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S9 EP27: No Cupboards For Christmas

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... Please follow and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.

And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] The epic return of Yellowstone is now streaming exclusively on Paramount+.

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Choose one of five eligible charities, up to $500,000 in total contributions. (*phone ringing*) Hamburglar, why are you calling? Rubble, rubble. McDonald's has a new biggest burger called Big Arch, made with two 100% Canadian beef patties, a new delicious sauce,

and all the McDonald's flavors you love, and... Wait, you want me to help you get it? Rubble. Come on. Compare to beef burgers on McDonald's Current Menu at participating restaurants in Canada. Hello, you're listening to Parents in Hell with... Wilfy, can you say Rob Beckett?

Rock-Backet. Can you say Josh Widicombe? Why, I don't want to say your name. Can you say Josh Widicombe. Can you say Josh Widdicombe? Very good. Did someone just unzip? Yeah. Oh God. It's not ideal. You say Josh Widdicombe, zip. You have that effect. Yeah. This is my giant three-year-old wolf saying your names. He's the youngest of three boys. He was a whopper He was born 11 pounds 11 ounces Too big in it, but he shares clothes with nearly six-year-old brother

This is a bit of fun or croffle Joe's big like that. Yeah, he big isn't he, your brother Joe? But is he your older brother? He's always been my size. I can never remember. I've always presumed he's your older brother. Is he younger? No, younger.

But he's always, until he got taller than me, my brother was always, I never remember being bigger than him. He was always my size and then when he got to puberty he went, he's like six foot three. He put on the afterburners. Yeah, his big old back. He's got such a big back. went, he's like six foot three. He put on the afterburners. Yeah, big old back. He's got such a big back. You know, someone's just so big. Big back.

Big back. You know, he's not just tall, he's just big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he's not overweight, he's in really good shape and he goes running and he exercises. But when he sits in a chair, the chair knows. It's like, it's different to a Stephen Merchant who's just tall. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly Joe is like and he doesn't even go do weights, but just got a big back Big old back when he goes I've told you this before when we do the rapids at Senate parks He just feels the whole when you do what the rapids are set up. Oh, yeah, you've a bit on him Oh, yeah, yeah, he's whole back. We normally get

A family up normally mom dad in the middle holding kids hands. It's just him and his back. It's our raft. Has he got a partner? You suggested he's too big for love. No, I'm just... I'm not. I'm pitching a Channel 5 documentary actually. No, Joe Little-O just is so big. He can't share a bed. No, he's got a partner.

And what size is his partner? What size is she? Height wise she's probably about 5 foot 6, 5 foot 7. So slightly above average height for a lady. And I'd say she's in quite sort of like slim athletic build. She's not a big backed woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't like, yeah, I would say Joe's not gone for a, talking a lot about my brother and his wife, or partner.

Do get in touch. I'd say she's got a slim athletic build, whereas Jo is like a wardrobe that's come to life. Yeah, nice, nice. Do get in touch, couples with the biggest height differential. Oh, that's lovely, isn't it? Yeah. Particularly if the woman is taller than the man.

We want height differences, but also couple of whoppers. Couple of whoppers height differences, but also a couple of whoppers. Couple of whoppers, get in touch with a couple of whoppers. Are you whoppers? Six foot seven husband, six foot five wife. And how big are your kids? Gary Barlow. Although I texted Gary Logan because she put a pic, I DM'd her on Instagram, she put a picture up of her son.

Oh, he's a big guy. Yeah, and I said, how have you not made the news, mate? Everyone's going on about Barron Trump and Gary Barlow. This is your time. And I said that to my brother, though, because there's a really funny TikTok where it says, everyone's laughing about Gary Barlow's son's height, but then you realize you're actually taller than Gary

Barlow's son, and it goes to that thing. But it's not funny, though, is it? Let me find the... You cracked me up. I love TikTok. So you're're on tiktok really are you? I'm an Instagram guy how tall is he? who's that? Gary Barlow's son. Six foot two but like Gary Barlow is quite small yeah and I think it's a positioning because we just had a photo with Richard Osman Marina Hyde and I'm the closest to the camera on the side and my right tit looks like Katie Price. That's the one you took. I had to unzip

because that zip type of looked like I tipped. Like actual tits. Like meatloaf in um Fight Club. So I've got a question for you here. Osmond naturally, because they're in the next studio. Osmond and Hyde. Pod wars. You know the video of Aerosmith and Run DMC where they smashed the wall between them? Oh right, no I've not seen that now actually. Yeah that's the kind of reference I do. God I, look at me I'm leaning in, I shouldn't have leant in.

You look like you've just climbed out of his pocket. This is that clip, this is the Barlow one. No, no, but it's not funny. At the end of the day, this is serious. This is laughing at Barlow sub. How are you, Josh? I'm good. I'm all right.

Did we read out who that woman was about her passive son? Of course not. Wilf. Thanks, Rosa and Co. Great little coffee shop, Rosa and Co, isn't it? That's a little coffee shop. Yeah. So.

Oh, that was Rosa. I thought she just said thanks, Rosa and Co. No, she just said, Rosa and Co. Fair enough. So, things are quite fraught. Yes. Me and Rose keep saying stuff like about how much we miss each other because we're just not seeing each other We're just so busy. Yeah, there's loads of building work going on. Yeah, so that's on schedule. So It can I say so not everything's gonna be finished for Christmas, okay

Can I say you need cupboards at Christmas? No. You know, because you don't buy loads of food, do you? No, no, no. You won't need to put food anywhere. No, no, no, no, no. So I would say it's quite an ambitious bold strategy to get this kitchen done just before Christmas.

Why didn't you just do it after Christmas? Because we wanted to get it done, Rob. Last week was in Airbnb, and I came back. You and Rose, and I think me and Lou do this, get excited by something and rush it rather than planning it and executing it in a timely fashion? No, but it's interesting that that's what you and Lou do.

Yeah, I'm just wondering, because the kitchen was perfectly functioning. I know, I don't know if I've said this before, we moved in when Rose was pregnant with our first child. Yeah. And we built the house, not designed, but like... The house has been there about 200 years. Yeah. We built three houses, one out of straw, one out...

No, we designed the house, did the interior design, by people that didn't know what you needed when you had two kids. Yeah. So we have to do this at some point. Yes. And we were like... in November just before Christmas Well, then it's done for Christmas, but it's not well, we'll see well, you just said it's not no no no No, we're mainly done for Christmas. We enough cupboards for Christmas. It's a great film

No cupboards in East London this Christmas. Thank God it's me, not you, right? So this is what I came home to when I went to feed the cat. Oh yeah. I hadn't considered that while we were doing the kitchen, we were doing other things as well. Like what? What's happening there? That's our bedroom.

Why is it? What's happening to your bedroom? Well, no, our bedroom's fine. It's just... What the fuck's that room? That's the bathroom. Look, Josh, you're renovating your entire house. No, we're just in the bathroom in the kitchen and your bedroom No, the bedrooms just holding bedrooms a holding point for the stuff that was in the bathroom

And the front room you're knocking it. Front room's done. You've redone your front room. We've done that. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying Well, we repainted it. Yeah. Yeah, but you've refurbished basically your whole house. What about your kids bedrooms? Yeah, we're doing them Yeah, one it won't be ready two you're gonna move. We're whole house, what about your kids' bedrooms? Yeah, we're doing them, yeah. One, it won't be ready. Two... You're gonna move. We're not gonna move, Rob! You are papering over the cracks. No, we're not papering over the cracks! What is it you need the most, you and Rose, and this is what prompted all this?

Just... Say the word. To live where we live, because we love it. No, I didn't ask that. I know you love it. But what thing has prompted this that you need in that house with two kids? Storage. Thank you. And space. Well, I didn't ask that. I know you love it. But what thing has prompted this that you need in that house with two kids? Storage. Thank you. And space. Well, I didn't want to say it.

Because I knew where you were trying to make me... I knew where you were going. I wasn't struggling to come up with it. We've all had a move around in positions and let's turn the sofa that way. You can't make space. We've got a lot of space. We've got a lot of space. You haven't got enough for London. For a couple in London. For a couple in East London. For two people that work in the media in London with no kids there's loads of space. Just saying. But it's fine that's life isn't it?

You'll do that one up and then it'll be easier to sell and then you buy it. We're not moving. Okay right, let's stop. I just, you know my feelings on this, you know what I've predicted. I know your feelings on it, yeah. And I'll shut up now and just wait for that to happen in a few years. Ha ha ha big houses in the area, it's East London. So you might have to move out a bit. I don't want to move out. I'm just saying, you might.

Things change. Things famously never change. No, you must, yeah, yeah. If I've learned one thing in life, it's that things never change. Yeah, something that, you know, something you're completely into, you absolutely love, you will do that forever.

How has being sober? It's good actually. A lot more space in the house now I'm not sleeping on the sofa. Are you going to Gustavik next year? I think we are actually. Do you want to go? You said you didn't want to go. No I didn't say that. I'd say I'm indifferent. Right, that's always a good start for a weekend away.

Going to Seville next week, why I'm indifferent about it. I'd say there's a lot on the line-up for me, and the odds aren't looking good. Do people buy tickets for the line-up? It sells out before the line-up. Do you care about Olivia Rodrigo? No, but my girls do. But we shouldn't be going anymore. Festivals are for young people.

We are young. We aren't. You just had Gabby Logan's Midlife Crisis podcast. I just had a photo with Marina Haydn and got very excited. I'm young and happening. Yeah, but you've literally done the middle age, what's it called? The mid-aged? Midpoint.

Midpoint. The midlife crisis. Good episodes, do listen. Good podcast, I love Gabby. But after all, you shouldn't be going to watch Olivia Rodrigo in a field. I'm not going to! I'll go and watch the beautiful south in a different field! Anyway, the house is a mess. That's frantic. You're not seeing Rose.

We just don't see much of each other. Are you sexually active? No, I'm not sexually active Rob. That's an accusation. That's not an accusation, that's a question. No, because I don't see my wife at all. When we were in the Airbnb, we were sleeping on different floors. Why?

Because my son wanted to sleep in our room, which is fine, but then my daughter wanted her own room, but the bedrooms were on different floors and it would have been... And their strange house. Yeah, I couldn't just leave her on the top floor on her own. But then I was just in this bedroom on my own, like I'd kind of been caught cheating. Do you know what I mean? Like you've been sent to the spare room? Yeah.

I've only been caught cheating. What do you mean? You imply that you cheat, but you just haven't been caught yet? No, I've never cheated. I'll be honest with you, I've had this discussion with a friend recently. Go on. I can't believe the admin it would take. Freeing up that time in the schedule would be insane.

Fucking hell, the texts, the... These people that have got two different families concurrently, you know those people? You couldn't do that. How the fuck are you doing that? You couldn't be banging away in a Premier Inn and go, I've got Joe Licey on Zoom in half an hour. Fuck that!

Hurry up! Fuck that! Hamburglar, why are you calling? Rubble, rubble! McDonald's has a new biggest burger called Big Arch, made with two 100% Canadian beef patties, a new delicious sauce, and all the McDonald's flavors you love, and... Wait, you want me to help you get it? Rubble! Come on.

Compared to beef burgers on McDonald's current menu at participating restaurants in Canada. now more than ever. Give their feelings a place to go. When you donate to Kids Help Phone, you're giving the young people in your life and across the country access to free 24-7, judgment-free support. Because at the end of the day, it's their thoughts that count. Donate at KidsHelpPhone.ca and together we can give their feelings a place to go. Anyway, what are we talking about? Life. Kids. You've had a stressful week.

Well, didn't I speak to you Tuesday, Thursday? Last week? I can't remember. I don't think I'd processed what had gone on. Lou was so, so unwell. She's better now. Yeah, you were quite kind of like, flippant with it.

Well, you did send me a selfie from A&E. Yeah, so she had to go in A&E and went on a drip, and then she had to have these antibiotics for a bacterial toxilitis. But content's content at the end of the day, Rob. But when she was in the bath, she had a low blood pressure drop and her hands, feet and mouth were paralysed and she called for help and I had to help her. It was only later on in the week when I had to space and basically I was so busy because she was so ill she just was in bed. She tried to get

up in the morning like to sort of help the kids. You don't even need to see something like you're going to pass out, go away, go to bed. So basically, all week last week, I was up at 6.30 every day, school run, into London, recording, doing stuff, filming. You know what would be easier, if you lived in London. Yeah. You'd just be, you'd just be... Well, I'll pull you up on that, you pair of fucking weasels. I was in here, first at 10am, you little London rat turned up quarter past with a little pastry on the way.

I was meeting you in Leon. at 10am, you little London rat turned up quarter past with a little pastry on the way and the fuck did I do the school run? Get out here from the countryside, sit in his chair and you east jetted him from LA. Sit in his chair. So me and Robbie Williams and his old take that manager over there, old LA Johnny, old LA Michael and you coming late. Anyway You can't add to your tasks sit in this chair. I've come here and sat here waiting for everyone to do their jobs. I was meeting you in Leon and we went to the wrong Leons. Anyway, yeah, so in London all day and then I had five gigs last week in the evening. Fucking hell. Warm up for the tour. So essentially, I had five days.

So what was happening in the evening? Was Lou able to... Monday and Tuesday, Lou's been working, but we got the... But the lady that picks up the kids from school normally brings them home, but she stayed until bedtime Monday, Tuesday. Then Wednesday, Lou's mum and dad got them and brought them back. Then Thursday, Lou's mum and dad got them and brought them back as well. And then Friday, Lou was well enough to pick them up. But those days, I was leaving the house at 7.30 and then I was getting home at 1.30 AM from the gigs, going to sleep for four or five hours, up again and I was so exhausted, so tired and like the gigs was really hard because I'm just like,

the gigs were all right when I was doing the stuff but when I was getting heckled by people that were too drunk, you're just like, oh mate, I've not got this in a tank here, just shut the fuck up or get out. Do you know that would be quite a good heckle put down, just go, I've got an ill wife at home, I don't need this. My wife's ill, I've been up since, I don't fucking, it's hard enough without you chipping in. It's relentless.

I am trying my best. I'm trying so hard. For the love of God, give me a fucking break. I'm a man on the edge. Fucking leave, do you know what? Leave me alone. Leave me alone to do my job. No but if you do that, you completely kill the vibe of the night.

Of course. of the night. Oh, right. Is it 25 quid? Fuck off. Fuck off. It's 50. Don't come to the next one. Get out.

Well, that's my blessing. Anyway, guys, has anyone noticed about ordering a curry? It's been done so such a nice. Right. Oh, they're all leaving. I know, but this lady, she was a bit drunk. She was nice though, because sometimes people are a bit drunk and they're nice. I was talking about going to Australia and stuff and customs being a bit like intense.

And then as I do it, it's sad, yeah, she was all drunk. You can see her a bit like floppy and loose. Then over and start telling her mate, and you can see people looking around. So it's difficult because you don't know whether to like call them out on it. But whenever people start noticing and it affects their own, it's a bit of a, you know. So I was like, what's going on there? She went, oh, I'm just telling her about a time that when I went to Australia, I had some biscuits in my bag and then I forgot to take them out

and told her the story about having biscuits in the bag. And I was like, all right, OK. And then I went, well, that's fine if you want to tell your mate that. But I'm here for another half hour. And I've spent a year getting all this stuff together I'm sure your biscuit story is fucking gold however like you know you might see your mate after this and you can tell her the biscuit stuff so I do my one. It's so awkward. It's so awkward because I went to see a comedian last year and there was some annoying people there yeah it's frustrating and you want the comedian to deal with it. He dealt with it really well but as a comedian I could tell he was fucked off.

Do you know what I was like yeah he's being polite but he fucking hates these pricks. When you're doing it four or five times a week on tour I love doing it but it is your job so it's like any job where depending on what's going on at home, depending on what your energy levels are in the tank, it affects how it goes. Also, just to say to people listening, it's not as big a thing that happens as often as you think when you don't go to comedy. What's that? Heckling.

Well you know what I mean, heckling is just sort of, for me, heckling I don't mind too much. But it doesn't really... It's drunk people chatting. That's the worst because it's not like... If they go, Beckett, where's Josh? You can deal with that or whatever. It's like fine. But when they're just like... And it's not loud enough to... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because people right at the back are going, what? I don't know what's going on. So it

was a really busy week. And because I haven't really processed how actually traumatic it was seeing Lou in this sort of... I thought she had a stroke basically for 10 minutes until we worked it out and then I was walking through Soho going from doing the voiceover of a parrot to the Lego Christmas launch. I think the thing is though when your work's as important as yours you've got to do it because otherwise the world will stop turning. Like I know your wife wivesil, but... I cannot change the schedule. There's a greater good here, Lou.

The world relies on me to bring happiness. I've got to be the voice of Enzo the Parrot, in the Grand Prix film, and then I've got to go on a photo with Caterclaws. Exactly, exactly. At the Lego store. Anyway, because I was like rushing around. I'm sorry if I'm saving lives, but.

I was saving lives on Sunday. Yeah. Getting her off the floor. But I was walking along, and because I could see the sort of like, the end of the week coming, of where it was actually calming down a bit. And I was a bit like,

and it was like Christmas lights and stuff like that. And it was all a bit like, I basically started thinking about Lou when she was unwell on Sunday, and just bursting into tears. Because I basically just buried it for five days. And then I wish I'd been walking down the street the other way.

But it was just because I buried it and it just all came out. Yeah. Do you get that? Yeah, and maybe it's just because of the way your career is going as well. I thought I'd bug it. I loved it, I loved being that Barrett. And I love let go.

It was quite an overwhelming week, but then we had a lovely Sunday where we just did nothing, stayed in, got the Christmas decorations out, we put all the Christmas decorations up, listened to Christmas music, had a bottle of wine, had a roast dinner, watched I'm a Celebrity, yes please. Now the date today is the 18th of November we're recording this. Absolutely, we put them up on the 17th. Yeah, and what? And what?

Go on. So, right here, are you mentally unwell like Rob? No, okay. Christmas trees up outside Sharon Cross station. Yeah. So they're allowed to do Christmas and I'm not in my house? No, no, no, it's alright. I actually am in favour.

My daughter this weekend created a Christmas playlist. Oh yeah. She's learnt how to do a Spotify playlist. The thing is though, your house is uninhabitable. You can't even put your coat on a hanger and get covered in dust. They might put a tree up. Fuck me, my asthma has been off the hook Because of this dust. It's mental. So when are they gonna be gone? Rose is speaking today, but I think probably Two to three weeks. Two to three weeks from today. Yeah, so kind of definitely be three Yeah, and that'll be completely finished but no cupboards for Christmas. No, there are cupboards just not all of them They'll be gone by the 9th of December. I'm not putting a date on it now when I don't have it You're not fucking Laura Coonsburg cornering

You said three, okay, I'll get benefit of the doubt, free of half a week I started by saying Rose is speaking them today. I'll provide you with an exact date. That should be nice. I'll stick that in Josh Kitchen finish. Well there's two stages. And then I'll come around for a couple of...pardon? So the thing that's problematic is the guys at the moment who are doing all the structural stuff to the side return. Yeah, okay. Bit of fun. Don't even know what it means.

Side return does it. Back return is like bum-hole. That would be like an innuendo. Side return is that. Yeah, what's that, hole in your hip. Each to their own. We are not here to kink, Shane. Obviously, if you want a fuck a hip, go. Fuck a hip.

So that's stage one. Then obviously, the kitchen's got to be her here. So that's stage one. But then obviously the kitchen's gotta be put in. So the builders are the same. Oh my god. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So they're not gonna start putting the kitchen in till the middle of December? No, early December.

Right, okay. And then that will be done? Yeah. So you'll be able to cook. Christmas dinner will be cooked at Shezwoodacombe. Yeah, but will I be able to come around on the night for December? No, you won't be invited.

Okay, well if you were there, could you cook yourself breakfast in the kitchen night for December? Yeah, I could make a bottle of cornflakes. Right. So you won't have a stove? No, I don't know. We've still got the cooker, so the cooker will still be there. Well, that's good. Hopefully. I've had quite a stressful week myself, Rob, with work. I wasn't gonna bring up work. I did three separate corporate events. Yes. Sent me a bit mad. Right, okay. Industries. Be careful what you say about this because in the past if people

complain then... Have we? Well I have. Go on. Utilities. Absolutely, yeah. Big fan of those. Fashion. They were very dapper. I bet. And IT.

Nice. Good mix. Good mix. Yeah. I was going a bit mad by the end of the third one. Just the 33 awards that night. I gave out almost 100 awards last week. Sometimes when I do the awards I'm like, is there anyone in this room that's not won? Yeah. Could you possibly sit the winners at the front? Yeah. We've never been nominated for anything at the podcast awards, have we? No, you have to enter yourselves. What kind of fucking

award system's that? I think you do it at the BAFTAs as well. Do you? I've not donated anything at the podcast of all, have I? No, you have to enter yourselves. What kind of fucking award system's that? I think you do at the BAFTAs as well. Do you? I've not entered myself. No, no, someone entered you for you. Did they? Yeah. Ramesh.

He does all the paperwork, he's got time on his hands. Oh, fucking hell. What? How have I got to a point in my life where I'm wearing a hoodie designed by Ramesh? How is Penguin Calm? I turned up. This is a point where you go, who are we anymore? I turn up for my dance training and I'm complimented, I'm a dancer and I'm complimented on my hoodie

that's designed by Ramesh. The world's gone mad. The world's gone mad. I'm ordering now hoodies for professional dancers that Ramesh has designed. I know it's great cause, calm, you know, mental health. But the amount of stuff I have to stick on my Instagram with Ramesh's face on for this calm, it's damaging my mental health.

I'm gonna have to ring the helpline. I'll just keep, I've got an hoodie on, I've got to donate to his marathon. I'm exhausted. So it's been a stressful week. The kids are off school and my daughter's ill. Oh, right, I guess another half term comes around. No, no, no. It just is mad how much you have no plan B.

Yeah, if they don't go to school, it's like... It's just mad. But obviously it has to be, because you can't employ someone like a stand-by. Like, you know, like they do on a panel show. Yeah, so we've got our just-in-case they're sick babysitter on a 35 grand a year. Just sits outside the house in case one's got a cold. She sits in her car all day. What a job. Oh she's got a big red phone that the school can call if...

You just, you're begging them not to be ill. So what did you do then? You just boot off to work and let Rose deal with it like normal? No I didn't actually. I did my last leg zoom with my daughter in the room. Oh, yeah. So that was the Wednesday. At least they're at the age now where they can just sit there and... Yeah, she watched Paddington all day. But if you've got a back little of them...

She's got into Saturday night entertainment in a big way, Rob. Okay. What's she into? From watching Strictly, she then... she watches Gladiators. Yep. And then she just stayed on and watched The Wheel run Saturday. She started watching The Wheel. It's just a quiz show that spins though, isn't it? I wouldn't call it like, it's not like Saturday night takeaway, is it?

I'm a big fan of Michael, I'm a big fan of The Wheel. I feel like The Wheel's good, but it's not that kid friendly. What is in it for a seven year old? Yeah. Like, she's not getting any of the answers. She doesn't, no disrespect, know who Jordan North is. Peter Andre didn't even get the answers and he was on it and he's an adult. Exactly.

When they asked him for one of the seven dwarves, he said, an- or deck. Pfft. And lost a person money. What? You know when it goes round and you've got to give- That- the thousand pound thing? The way it builds.

He went for the joke over the- Yeah. Fuck off. Now I- I'm an Andre. I'm employed as a comedian, Rob. Sometimes. But-

Not always. Broadcaster. We watched- Ha ha ha ha. I'm a straight man. I'm a straight man. Why are you on the last leg? I am both on this and the last leg. I put in the effort but everyone's here for the working class guy. But we watched Blankety Blank, you were on it. Do you know what you do on Blankety Blank that's good Rob? Go on. I blank you're on it yeah do you know what you do on blankety blank that's good Rob? Go on. I know you're a comedian yeah you try and answer the

question properly. It drives me mad Josh. Celebrities going for the joke someone's playing for a fucking 600 quid here mate. He's trying to win some garden furniture but he lives in a flat. Yeah exactly. He's trying to win a garden furniture, but he lives in a flat. Yeah, exactly. He's trying to win a prize he's going to sell on eBay immediately. And there's some guy writing a long funny answer. You're like, go fuck yourself. I hate that. This is a game. Yeah, but be funny around it.

Yeah, or go- Trust yourself to be funny when you're not playing the game. I like to think myself a bit of a laugh, but when it comes to blankety blank, when you deliver your blank, go for the correct answer. Correct. Bant around the edge. Exactly. Bant around the edge. bit of a laugh but when it comes to blanketing blank when you deliver your blank go for the correct answer. Correct. Bant around the edge. Exactly.

Bant around the edge. Sorry I needed to clear that because we've watched blanketing blank. It's that toast. Bout the edges, middle does itself. Don't you know that? No. When you're buttering toast, butter the edges, middle does itself. Fuck off.

Don't start the middle, do the edges, middle does itself. Does it? I don't know but my aunt always said that. Did she? Yeah. Fucking hell I'll try that. There's something we'll try live. She had a, is it called a humanitarian,

humanist burial? What's it called? Humanist. Humanist. That non-religious funeral. I thought that was respect, that, because she's quite old, all the old guys are always scared of God and that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But yeah, respect, aren't they? Yeah, I'm going to go full religious. Oh yeah. Even though I'm not. I just think, you know what? The Catholic ones are long, aren't they? Oh, they get the fucking smokey bell out. Oh, if you've been to a Catholic wedding, not my scene. No, it's long, isn't it?

No, no, no, no. No problem with them. No problem with them. Oh, bit of problem with religion, but no, church rings are fucking the top. Well, we've had to call it a day, haven't we? Do you know what I think they should do with the church? Because there's a lot of bad press

about all that kind of stuff. Just, why don't we just stop having choir boys for a bit? It's not the worst idea in the world Why don't we just go from now on just for a bit whilst we get our ass in order? Adult choir only and if the kids are desperate go we'll find someone else for you to sing. Yeah, just let's just swear If I get job of edin a church, yeah That's just if you get made Archbishop of Canterbury If I get made Archbishop of Canterbury. It might get made. Archbishop of Bloody Bantbury.

More like. Let's modernize this church. Let's stop quiet boys for a bit. Anyway, go on. The Wheel. Fuck me. This week's episode of The Wheel. Yeah, go on.

It was one of the most emotional bits of television I've ever seen. Oh. A woman won 100 grand. Jesus. Yeah. Pete Rondrei won on it. She won 100 grand. She'd never bought a house, she wanted to buy a house. She was 58 and then her husband who she'd been with since school ran out and they embraced

and it was one of the... and her job was helping people in later life care. The researcher on that show take a bow. Yeah, better than my episode where no one won. Fucking hell that was a bleak walk home back to the dressing room. I tell you that. Michael Sheen head in hands. Oh. Awful. Anyway, she's got into Saturday Night TV.

But you know what's happening is like, my kids don't really like Saturday Night TV. I think, because Children Rebell, I think, because you live in Call East London, you're creating this sort of quiet, chill, suburban, mainstream kid. Where I think I'm going gonna create two alternative monsters. Yeah, exactly Rob, they kick against you. Exactly. Have you tried to get in the drama celebrity? Cause that's your jam, isn't it?

That is my jam. It's on too late, it's started at nine. I think I might show them a little bit of it, recorded and see if they like it. But they do, do they do Masked Singer? They like Masked Singer, too, strictly. They used to love street, they've gone a bit off it recently. They don't like blind people. Yeah. No choice Always been like that. Don't know why

They loved it when they were little little now a bit not desperate to watch it I think there's someone who'll win them back. I think there's a little dance coming up. Britain's got talent. No. Gladiators. Love gladiators. They love that. Yeah. I was interested at the school I've noticed tell me what you think about this. Also, one, I keep doing dad jokes and they're coming out of nowhere. So you know Teddy Swim's a singer. You've been doing that for your whole career, mate. Well, I don't think you could even call him a dad jokes, he's sort of talking fast, isn't

it? But you know Teddy Swim's a singer? No. He goes, something got to hold me like that. One of them ones. They went, I like this song. I went, oh, I taught him how to sing. And they're like, what?

And I'm like,, oh I like this song. I went, oh I taught him how to sing. And they were like, what? And I'm like, why am I doing this? Because one of them is sort of young enough to believe it. And I'm like, what am I doing here? Is it just a tension I want? Just to bring it back to me?

Because they're listening to a song. Why am I now creating this little lie? I'm tired. I don't need to be doing this. I'm going to just sit here in silence, driving. I'm tired. I don't need to be doing this. I can just sit here in silence driving. I'm just sitting here crying because I am in process of Lou being ill because I was too busy being a parrot. I told you about the Crazy Frog last week. By the end of the week I literally said to him, girls, I went, I can't do the Crazy Frog anymore. I went, I've got nothing left. Exactly, but I've got nothing left here. I don't mind you picking but let's just go like Taylor Swift or normal songs I can't handle.

The Crazy Frog, Acapella, crazy sounds. have a 90% employer satisfaction rate. That's because across its three GTA campuses, York U's programs are strategically designed to prepare you for a meaningful career and long-term success. Join us in creating positive change at yorku.ca slash write the future. You know what's great about ambition? You can't see it.

Some things look ambitious, but looks can be deceiving. For example, a runner could be training for a marathon, or they could be late for the bus. You never know. Ambition is on the inside. So that road trip bucket list? Get after it. Drive your ambition. Mitsubishi Motors. So I noticed, you know, what do the teachers call you at school if you go in and it's like... Me? Yeah, that Mr. Widicombe. I don't know, they wouldn't call me Mr. Widicombe. I don't know if they use my name. Do you know what I mean? A couple, sometimes I feel like, someone I know a bit better that I've been like through the school with like the teachers or teaching assistants might say Rob, but a lot of the time they'll say, oh, Mr. Beckett, thanks Mr. Beckett.

There's a guy who helps get the kids out of the car in the site team, well, thanks Mr. Beckett or sir, oh, sir, or those sort of polite words. But I found there's a couple of people at school that are doctors that they call them doctor, so-and-so. And actually one of them I've actually seen, you know when you sign in to visit, yeah, I'll just put like R Beckett or Rob Beckett. They'll put Doctor. Yeah. It's over your fucking self.

Is that a thing? I don't know if that's a thing. And are they medical doctors? That's not all of us, just a couple of them. I don't know. I don't know them. But I've just seen it on the form or I've heard someone go, oh, Doctor so-and-so come this way. But they're like, they're not there as a doctor. They're there as a parent. Yeah. But I didn't know if doctors, did doctors use their name?

I wouldn't. Because doctors used their night. I wouldn't. Because if you were knighted, you wouldn't sign in as Sir Josh Whitacombe. No, I wouldn't, no. Obviously, Rob, I'd reject it. Because I'm too fucking edgy to be knighted. Would you reject it? Well, it will never come up.

I don't know whether I would. I think I'd probably take it for the... You would definitely take it. You'll be up there, Rush Puppies on, Rose Errol glammed up're all glammed up you'll be little bands would it would it be one up from Adam Hills NBA King Charles stooping down to pin it on your you'll be gone by the time I'm not it you're right King George William you know one of the kids Princess Charlotte doing it you're 83 and. And you're Lionel Blair era. Oh God, I've got a bike shed I still haven't put up.

It's been on my patio just in the rain for a week now. I don't know when I'm gonna do it, Josh. I think your kitchen will be done before I've done that. One word, airtasca. Do you know what? Or any other rivals that are just as good. Also, I've also got flushes. The flushes are working in my toilet.

Yeah. And the downstairs toilet, lock, bro. Just get a fucking handy man around. And I've got loads flush. The flush isn't working in my toilet. Yeah, and the downstairs toilet looks broken. Just get a fucking handyman around. And I've got loads of pictures to hang out. Just admit who you are. You are not a man who can put up a bike shed. Could have stopped there. Yeah, just a man. You're not a man. I need someone to do these jobs for me. Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with that because my view on these things is get someone's... So you just do it called Air Tasker? You put it on, this is what I do, and there's other versions of it.

So I'm not on promo here. So there's websites where you can just put it on and then people bid on the job. So you say, I want this, this, this and this. And they bid on it and come. And you give your round-around price. I don't know if I want a strange man coming to my house after an auction. Rob, what have you got to do? Put some pictures up. You're not going to be able to put a fucking picture up.

No. I've got to fix the locks. Fix the locks? These are important things, Rob. And the flush needs sorting and I need some stuff framed. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's a different job completely. You can't do that. Yeah, but it's a different job. You can't have a man go, can you fix the toilet and frame this picture? You can't be doing that. Well, you shouldn't have been then. Keep your hand down in the bidding room mate. Why is my picture wet? Well, I've had my hand down to you, Ben.

But this is my view on these things Rob. Go on. When you work freelance, it would be better for you to spend that time doing work to pay someone else who knows how better for you to spend that time doing work to pay someone else who knows how to do it to do that. Yeah, but I'm not sure that the person bidding on Airsox knows how to do it. I'm not saying... I need a bromley-based handyman.

Just get a person. I need a bromley-based handyman, I trust. Well, how do you trust them? They can come in and give me shit about Airsox, I'll give them shit about Chelsea. They've got reviews, Rob. Oh, okay. They've got reviews. I just don't know about going on the internet to find a man.

Well, it's the new world though. So you and Lou Matt. Or a woman. Yeah, or a woman. Do you know what's weird though? If like, if Lou went on Air Tasker, right, whatever it's called, and got like a handyman person to come round and fix all the stuff, and he was really attractive, I'd be like, wouldn't think anything of it. I'd be like, oh that's just, the handyman's quite attractive or whatever. However, if I went on Air Tasker, and as a modding man, I'd be like I thought I don't see gender I just want the Right person for the job and then a really fit woman came around yeah to fix all the stuff

I think little bit out what the fuck you doing? It would be like what you doing? That's just the person that won the bit. She's got the best reviews my friend they were getting a Babysitter I think. An airtasker? No no not an airtasker. I'm bidding for my child. Let's? An airtasker? No, no, not an airtasker. I was on biding for my child. Stop saying airtasker. I've got a reason to call it that. Yeah, it is, but I just feel like we've given about £10 billion worth of advertising. Well, not at the moment.

You're just selling children on it. So my friend got a babysitter and his wife got the shortlist. She sent him the descriptions. She said which one and he chose one. And she said, yeah, there was a reason. I sent just the descriptions, and she sent him the photo of the one that he'd rejected, and it was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

She was like, unlucky. We're doing this face to face. Do you wanna see how ripped I am? You gotta take yourself off. I keep getting complimented on my dancers physique. Right when? When you're dancing? Suzy Ruffall complimented me on it. You're not turning her either.

I just thought well. I've had it that. Well gossip that'll be. Joshua Deacon got so ripped, Suzy Ruffall went straight. Um yeah, show us your bod. Look at this. We'll show the camera. Show the camera. Show the camera. I don't know how I feel about this.

Come on. Come on. Do you want me to touch you? A little bit. So what's the best bit? I don't know what you're doing. I'll be honest. Michael said we have five minutes to fill and I panicked. What's the best bit? Well I don't know what you want me to touch or look at. I'll be honest, Michael said we have five minutes to fill and I panicked.

What's the best bit? Well I don't know what you want me to touch or look at. Just have a feel. But you're doing it quite quick. Oh yes? Solid. Yeah well done. Have a feel.

I'm so annoyed that I'm doing this before Christmas so all the good work will go out the fucking window by January. Celebrate with a glass of champagne in your, well you can't have that anymore, in your dusty kitchen. In my dusty kitchen. Have a glass of champagne in your, well you can't have that anymore in your dusty kitchen. Dusty kitchen. Have a glass of schler. Yeah. Are you eating well to be good at dancing or just? You can eat what you want. Oh really? I spoke to Chris Ramsay about this. Okay. Chris Ramsay said the best thing about it is you can eat whatever you want. Because he's got in shape, did he carry that on after Street Leads? He did 13

weeks of it. It just kick-started it. Yeah. You're not doing it? So when you do it next year. I'm not doing it. You don't? I know who's doing it next year. Already? I met someone last night. Yeah. And he kept asking me about it in the way that.

Oh, is it? You know when. Because Strictly's MI5. Oh, no, no. He's not doing it. He's not doing it. But I'm just saying, I bet this person would want to. You know when someone asks you what it's like having kids,

and you're like, oh, I get it I get it yeah yeah yeah. Who was it? F***ing F***ing. Oh I like that. I'm up for that. Yeah? Yeah. I think he'd be brilliant. I think he'd be great. You could have a fake tan spray. I think so yeah. That's why I don't want to see you at your clothes off. I haven't got anything else to say really for the week. Any correspondence Michael?

Richard Osmond's coming in and fill some time. Ask her. You had to go into Richard Osmond and Reena Hyde and do a bit of their pod. Yeah but to be fair they've got a podcast about entertainment and the question was directly about me and I was in the next room. Yeah, fair enough. You know what I mean? I can't just go, oh Richard do you mind coming in?

What for? We've run out of stuff to say and we've got to do two more minutes. What's it like being tall? He's got into tweed jackets, hasn't he? He's always wore a tweed, hasn't he? Has he? In my head, if I picture Richard Osmond, he has got on a pair of light denim jeans,

Converse, black Converse, or white Converse, and then a big suit jacket. It's a good game, actually. I'm gonna name some celebs. You tell me what they're wearing. Oh, okay. They say we can't film five minutes. Simon Cowell. Pointy black winkle pickers, really light denim but the back all frayed by the heel where the Cuban heels been rubbing on it. Then a really skin tight deep V

black t-shirt. It's either that or a big white V shirt. Yeah like a white V shirt is what I'm... And it's either that or he's on the back of a jet ski with a life jacket on. Yeah. Ricky Gervais. Oh, Ricky Gervais, sort of black jogging bottoms, black trainers and a terribly ill-fitting tight T-shirt. Yeah, yeah. Whatever physique he's in.

Because sometimes he's in like super fit, running every day. And then sometimes he's not running every day. Same T-shirt. I just don't think he buys a new T-shirt. No, this is a good one. Go on. Same every time,. I just don't think he buys a new t-shirt. No, this is a good one. Go on. Same every time. Kevin Bridges.

Kevin Bridges. Black shirt, black jacket, black trousers, black shoes. Yeah. Ramesh. Occasionally he'll wear jeans and a hoodie when I see him. Yeah, he will. He will. Ramesh.

Ramesh has changed his looks slightly. He'll probably be a pair of Nike, Patta trainers. He's started to wear sort of like combat-y now, with a t-shirt and sort of like a quite cool sort of jacket that he has buttoned up but just sort of the top two buttons and the rest undone. Yeah, there we go. Send in your celebs and we'll tell you what they're wearing. I don't know if that's a good bit. Michael, was that good or was that shit? It's probably staying in, it's probably staying in Rob!

Joe Rob, I love it. I don't like it. I love it. It's probably staying in. The vote of confidence that gets you to number one. What you used to wear. Used to wear Converse, dark jeans and a blue Oxford shirt from Uniqlo. Yeah. Classic Widdicombe. Yeah. Now you've gone for Nikes. And occasionally you wear the smart jacket and trousers that Rose picked out for you as your smart outfit. Yeah.

Hi Rob and Josh. This incident only happened just a few minutes ago. Oh. I'm writing to you from the corner of my bedroom as a form of therapy because I don't know what else to do right at this moment. I'd say you've probably made the wrong decision, but it's too late now. My youngest son, aged three, has been having some fairly significant anger management issues of late. It's been a journey. Oh, God. Age 3 has been having some fairly significant anger management issues of late. It's been a journey. Oh god epic tantrums major anxiety, etc Four weeks ago. He was even kicked out of his daycare after months of them complaining about his behavior

It's been stressful My husband and I have been working full time from home for four weeks juggling him while we try and land a nanny None of this is the point of the story. Okay, you just need to know that why you fucking telling us You just need to know this kid has been seriously distressed recently and is seeing a psych for his emotional regulation. I feel bad now. No, you'll be great. No I feel bad, I just tried to lighten it. No, I'm the bad guy. You're just trying your best to keep the ball in the air. I know and what did I do with that ball? I grabbed it and shoved it down a three year old's head that's having a tough time. Exactly. Poor guy. But that's not why they're writing.

So, enter Nana, the mother-in-law, who has flown in from interstate for the school holidays. We're in Australia. Wow, okay. With no family living within 24 hours drive of us, usually. 24 hours drive, that's not even a thing. You can drive anywhere for 24 hours. You're where you live, see.

Would you be able to drive to the top and back of Britain in 24 hours Easily yes, I tell that 16 hours 24 hours drive depending on diversions with no family. What is the point of this message? 24 hours drivers usually my husband and I have taken the opportunity to leave the kids with Nana this week and go to the office And feel like humans again. It's all been going so well. Oh the Nans not fucking is she? The angry three-year-old has been behaving impeccably with Nana. Lovely work well done in the state Nan. We've all been living in a momentary bliss bubble until this evening when I

got home from work three-year-old lost his shit and had one of the most inconsolable tantrums yet. He was kicking off massively and Nana went over and whispered something in his ear and the tantrum stopped in his tracks. Fucking hell. I thought this was a playground shagger story. But at one point... I was like where the fuck is this going? I thought the nan started shagging and when she said she'd come over I thought is the husband shagging the nan? Yeah, what's going on because...

The husband's shagging his own mum? The kid is... But where's the playground? The kid's reacting because he knows this and he's keeping this secret. But he knew, he's known for years that the nan's been shagging her own son. Yeah. Oh my god. No, so it's a boomer story.

Thank god. Thank fucking god. Oh god. I feel relieved now. Sorry. We'll do the playground shaggers on Friday. Yes, do that on Friday. Gee, he whispered something in his ear.

The tantrum stopped. his face turned ashen. He sat down on the floor, apologised profusely to Nana, staring straight ahead with a sort of blank zombie-like yes-my-oppresser gaze, then proceeded to proactively take himself to bed. Oh, God. This is three, this guy. Nana then turned to my husband, unzipped his flies. Nana then said side eye.

Nanna hungry. I drove 24 hours for this shit. Gimme that. Come here boy. Stop it. Sorry. You started it. Nanna then side eyeinged knowingly and said,

See I know how to handle a three year old. And in that moment I really did feel like maybe I'd been failing massively as a parent. Oh god. Till I went downstairs, said goodnight and he was hiding in the corner under a blanket. Petrified Chitliff... This is a horrible story. Yeah. The kid proceeded to tell me the last three days,

Nana had been telling him there is a bad, bad man that comes in the night and takes angry boys away forever. Oh no. Oh no. And Nana just told me he's waiting out in the front in the car. Oh no, no. No, no. Bad, that's bad parenting or boomer parenting.

Bad boomer parenting. I mean, even I'm terrified sitting here in the corner of my own bedroom writing to you guys, unsure how to broach this with Nana or my husband. Well. I'll keep it a secret. As your advice I'd say that look, this child is obviously angry, okay, which is not ideal for... No, but that, those are things that you can sort out by...

No, but being, he's not angry because he's decided to be angry, something's making him angry. So by telling him, if you're angry someone will get you, that's not solving the root cause of the problem. It might for maybe 20 years, but then it's gonna be really... Oh no yeah, it's a short term of getting into bed but you can terrify someone to go to bed. But yeah, no, you need to get to the root cause but I think maybe carry on working from home and say to their nana thanks for your help but that's enough.

Tell the boy that that's all a lie, that's nonsense, don't listen to nana. Tell the guy in the car outside to leave. Yeah, so I think send nana home, tell the boy that that's a lie, that's not true, nana was lying, don't listen to Nana. Tell the guy in the car outside to leave. Yeah. Yeah, so I think send Nana home. Tell the boy that that's a lie. That's not true. Nana was lying. Don't listen to Nana. And then carry on with what you're doing at the moment because it sounded like that was helping before. But yeah. Oh God. Do you know what though?

I just, I really thought it was going to end up with someone was shagging at school. I misread the- Let's do the shag of one on Friday. Small business shout out. Small business shout out. Okay. This was left in my dressing room in Newbury. Oh yeah. Hi Rob. A long time listener to the podcast. I'm really looking forward to seeing you tonight I go on on Friday. Small business shout out. Small business shout out. Okay, this was left in my dressing room in Newbury.

Oh yeah. Hi Rob, a long time listener to the podcast. I'm really looking forward to seeing you tonight and Josh in April. For the record, I would have driven all the way to Reading to see you both, she's in Newbury. Oh, good on you. I am doing Reading.

Yeah, but also, it's about 20 minutes, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. That's not the biggest claim. Yeah, exactly. I'd love if you'd give me a small business shout out. A few years ago, pre-Christmas, I was drowning in old toys and completely pissed off from having to do that stupid elf on a shelf.

In a parenting hack moment of inspiration, I decided to make the elf work for me and designed a reverse Santa sack, an alternative sack to be delivered to the North Pole, along with a letter from an elf called Sprinkles, which asked my children to donate their old toys to be replaced by elves for other children. It worked brilliantly so I made them for friends and Return to Santa was born. It's a brilliant new family tradition, opened up lots of discussions

about the importance of giving at Christmas. The charity shops we donated to were so grateful to have your donations ahead of Christmas too. You can find me at returntosanta.co.uk or returntosanta on Insta. I've enclosed a sample for the girls and one for Josh and family. He needs all the help clearing the knickknacks he can get. There you go. There we go. I've got it here, Josh.

So what you get is a, well that's your card. Oh, thank you. From the lady. Yeah, so you get a letter. Yeah. You can see it's on the camera. A letter from the desk of Santa Claus. There you go, that's from Sprinkles the elf

asking for the children to put toys and Teddies they don't use anymore. So in this bag. That is a lovely donation. And then you can fill up the sack, which is quite good fun for the kids. Oh, look. That is great.

And then it's got the dress on it. Dear Santa, I've outgrown these toys, please share them with other good girls and boys. And then you can fill that up and send it to Santa slash take it to a local charity shop. That's cool, isn't it? That is beautiful. Thank you very much. Beautiful.

That's charla at returntosanta.co.uk. That is excellent. Dear Josh and Rob, I listen to your podcast religiously and it brightens up my daily commute no end. I was listening to episode 11, Python on the Loose, don't remember it, and heard Josh mention he had seen an advert for a donkey meet and greet

and so it gave me an idea to ask for a small business shout out. Lovely. Me and my husband have six miniature Mediterranean donkeys. Miniature Mediterranean donkeys. Do you want them on Instagram straight away? Absolutely. So this is a Welsh pronunciation I'm going to struggle with. Moel, M-O-E-L.

Moel. Famao, F-A-M-A-U, donkeys. F-A what? M-O-E-L. Yeah. F-A-M-A-U. I think that's a place in North Wales. I know that's the place, but that is really hard

to find on Instagram. I feel like I'm playing Scrabble. You just come up with Rob Beckett mentioned you in a story. Yeah I did. Oh. The one in your porridge. Oh here's a little donkey, still quite big. Still quite big. Well they are miniature Mediterranean donkeys. We run a business where people can come and meet the donkeys, have cuddles with them in the stable, take them around on a short or long rope in a lead rope, short or long walk even, around our fields, surrounding the views of our amazing,

oh bollocks another Welsh pronunciation, Chlridian Hill Range. We are very much focused on mental wellbeing and emphasize the health benefits of spending time in the great outdoors in the company of our six beautiful, affectionate female donkeys. We are called Moel Famao Donkeys and located in North Wales.

You can find us on Instagram at Moelle Famao Donkeys. You'd be more than welcome to come and visit us if you fancy cuddles with a donkey anytime soon. We'd be very grateful for the shout out for our small family run business. Thank you, Sean Ed. There we go. North Wales is so far away.

I don't know why, I think it's because of the roads. 24 hours. Anyone can come and do that. What if you're like, it's just a 55 year old man alone? Well... I'm here for the donkeys. Female miniature. Yeah. Give me the lead. Give me the reins. We'll see you next week.

Bye. Hello, I'm Rachel Fairburn from All Kill and All Filler. And I'm Paul McCaffrey from What's Upset You Now, and we'd like to tell you all about our brand new podcast, Glad Rags. Every week we have a guest from the world of entertainment and design their perfect night out. Where are you going? What year is it?

What are you wearing? What are you listening to? And most importantly... Can we come? Where would you go, Paul? Do you know what? I'd go anywhere in 1995. I don't care where it is. I think 1995 was the peak of all human existence.

The clothes, the music, everything. What would you listen to? Well, I'll be honest, if I'm in a good mood, it's an Oasis playlist. If I'm in a bad mood... It's an Oasis playlist. Absolutely. Come and join us wherever you get your podcasts for the best night out of your life. Hi Sean.

Hi Jack. So you mentioned you were going to come up with an advert for our podcast. What for Oh My Dog? Yeah Oh My Dog. Have you written something? No, I haven't. Well neither have I, but I wasn't meant to. Yeah, well, Sarah's here now to record it, so why don't you take over? Hi.

Hi. Hi, Sarah. Hi. Right, are we ready? What have we got for the Oh My Dog advert? Sean, I think you were going to... I'm... Hello, I'm Sean Walsh and I'm with Jack Dee and we have dogs. Not together, we have individually. Jack has a dog Dolly and I have a dog Mildred. I see.

Oh, my dog, the cult podcast with Jack Dee and Sean Walsh. Listen, because they both have dogs. That's what I was going to say. Were you?