Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S9 EP30: Vogue Williams
Episode Date: December 6, 2024Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant presenter, podcaster and author - Vogue Williams. You can pre order Vogue's new book 'Big Mouth' HERE ...And check out her hilarious podcast 'My Therapist Ghosted Me' wherever you get your podcasts. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk Follow us on instagram: @parentinghell  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
And I'm Josh Willicombe.
Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like
to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky.
So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations
of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're
coping.
Or hopefully how they're not coping.
And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener,
with your tips, advice, and of course,
tales of parenting woe.
Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times
when none of us know what we're doing.
Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with...
Ophelia, can you say Rob Beckett?
Well, that, that...
Oh, fantastic.
And can you say Josh Whiddicombe?
Hi.
Go on, Josh Whiddicombe.
No, Josh Whiddicombe.
Yeah, well done.
I love when kids say that, no.
No.
No, actually.
Hi, Rob and Josh.
This is my 26-month-old daughter, Ophelia.
Me and my husband love the podcast.
I'm always saying to him,
have you listened to the podcast this week?
See, it's not just our kids. Looking forward to seeing you next year in sunny
south end rob. Stay sexy and relatable Claire. 478 months from Benfleet in Essex. They sent us this
on August the 19th so Ophelia is now 30 months old. Michael's he's got a backlog. Yeah. I've seen
backlog. How are you Josh? I'm very good, actually.
I'm fine, yeah.
Looking forward to Vogue Williams.
Yeah, Vogue Williams.
I love Vogue.
She's got loads of podcasts, doesn't she?
She's the bloody queen of the pods.
Do you want a correspondence?
Hi, team.
Listening to a recent podcast, you're talking about height differences in couples.
I'm five foot and my husband's six foot five.
Whoa!
So that's 17 inches.
We've got off to a strong start.
And I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills
for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the
highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and
I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my
wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest
hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to
find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to find the highest hills for my wedding, and I had to I'm five foot, my husband's six foot five. Whoa! You've got that, so that's 17 inches.
We've got off to a strong start.
And I had to find the highest hills of my wedding
to try and balance this out.
A little photo to always look ridiculous.
Love the podcast, been listening since beginning.
I have twins 10 days before lockdown
and already had a three-year-old, Jesus Christ.
That's Jessica from Plymouth.
We asked for the most stupid way you've broken a bone.
I don't remember that.
Did we?
Fuck it, how?
You asked for a stupid way someone broke a bone.
People could write in anything, any anecdote, and just start it with, you asked where you
got your dick stuck, and I've got mine stuck in a Snapler.
I burnt my knob on the radiator once.
Did you?
Yeah.
This was years ago when I was in a flat share.
And I was seeing a girl and I was bringing her home that night. And I told my flatmates that
that was sort of the ideal plan. And they all decided to turn my radar on full whack, shut the
doors and windows in the middle of summer. And then I didn't realize until we were like in the
bedroom. And then we were starting to get very warm, incredibly warm. And then I realized what they'd done.
So I turned the radiator off, but obviously it takes a while to cool down.
So I tried to open the window, but I was opening the window with, um,
I've never opened my window of an erection before. And I was,
I was very close to the radiators. So I burnt the end of my knob.
Oh my God. Fuck. Ignore her. And then she wasn't called Nora. Oh, it's
good stuff. It's good stuff. And did you and Nora carry on with the deed? Yeah, yeah, yeah, just
plowed off. Anyway, I broke it up. I want to share the story of how I broke my foot in an all bar one
full of espresso martinis. I attempted to do the little hop and jump that Will Smith does in the
opening credits of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I don't even know what that is. I used to do the little hop and jump that Will Smith does in the opening credits of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
I don't even know what that is. I used to do that religiously.
I didn't stick the landing, fell on my own foot and broke three bones.
I couldn't tell work. I was drunk, channelling Big Willie at the time of the break.
So I told them I'd tripped down the curb and kept that secret until this day.
So this is my confession email too.'s Vicky and Alesbury.
What is the hop and jump in that? Do you know what she means?
But she just sort of jumps and wiggles a bit. It's not like a
big move. I think it's quite, it's quite embarrassing. It's
not. It's not like she's trying to worm. Yeah. Can you do the
worm? No, I would I want to do that. Just got the look. What
does that mean?
I think I knew would get that response.
What would you want to do one more one more thing? One more one
more bit of correspondence. Secret code word because gobble
gobble sort of taken off it. Been listening since day one,
it helped me and my wife with both our kids who are now two
and four just listen to the gobbler episode and thought of
a better way you can be approached. Well, if someone
approached you and said parenting and it's not good time
for you guys, you can probably hell, and it's not good time for you guys, you can apply hell, and if it's a good
time, you can be more welcoming.
Can you say heaven?
Fantastic work.
Can you say heaven?
It's nice, but I'll be honest with you, Gobble Gobble's taken
hold and it's too late.
Can I just say, ideally, if I'm with my kids, leave me alone
because I've got the hands full.
If I'm on my own, go for it.
Open, just open book, whatever you want to do.
Come and say hello, have a chat, have a photo,
but if we're with the kids, leave us alone.
But if you see me with the kids, shout gobble gobble
by all means for a quick hello and a wave.
But in an ideal world, if I could be left for the kids,
I don't wanna seem demanding, but it's so,
time with my kids is so precious at the moment.
If I'm getting on a train to London,
I wanna sit and chat with them, not to just someone else.
It's not fair on them. If that makes sense.
And if you see him and he's out a window, just say, keep away from that radiator.
Put the toaster away, Rob.
Put the toaster away.
And keep your knob.
Keep your knob to yourself.
Don't say that in front of my children, actually.
Don't say, don't say keep your knob to your children.
Do keep your knob to yourself.
Just a quick gobble gobble and a thumbs up. I'll give you one back. Bosch, we've done it.
Right.
Vogue Williams.
Why not?
It's been an awful intro.
Vogue Williams, hello.
Hello.
How are you?
Good.
How are you?
Intense intro that was, Josh.
I felt nervous and it's our show.
Yeah, I know.
It's like, oh God, here it comes.
Oh, hi.
Well, welcome to the show Vogue.
Thank you for coming. We're really grateful you're here.
Thanks for having me.
Do you know what you said to me the other day Vogue, which I didn't realize that you
and Joanna quite posh, but no one in England knows because you're Irish.
Don't tell anyone. No one liked posh people.
So are you posh girls from Ireland?
Joanna's actually not to throw her onto the bus more than me. She's from the poshest area
in Dublin. Like there's nowhere posher in the whole of Ireland.
No one knows.
No one knows until now.
So I would put Darro Briain as posh Irish. Where would he fit in the scale?
No, I wouldn't say he's posh now. Is he not from the country?
I don't know. He's got a little country twang to me. You see, I wouldn't say he's posh now. Is he not from the country? I don't know.
He's got a little country twang to me.
You see, I'm always slagging Spano because my husband's really posh and I'm like,
Oh God, Scarlett for him.
Like I wouldn't like to be that posh.
You won't get any work.
English posh is different.
That's dark.
To get English posh through generations, shit's gone down.
Yeah.
I'm nice posh.
Yeah, a couple of generations of people done well not exactly
exactly. Scratch it too far. Because it's last part of this
because obviously like Spencer's super posh and you got how many
kids have you got now?
Three.
And what ages are they?
Two, four, six.
Oh, that is serious. So like, obviously, dispensers, is it dad's got a hotel
or place in St. Barts? Yes. And then, and then so- Why are we married? Why we got married?
No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying that like for the kids, if you've got to come visit in-laws,
and it's like a rainy November, and we're going to go to which one? The Irish. They're like, okay, could be in
St. Barthes. Is that, is that a hard way to convince them?
Do you know what St. Barthes is so far away and traveling with kids and I don't mean to,
it's so difficult. My mom, my mom lives in Spain, but she can only, yeah, she can only
handle like, she's a two hour in and out job. Like she'll come to my house, she'll come
to London to visit us and she'll stay for an hour.
And I'll be like, where are you going?
And she's like, yeah, I'm just going to pop back to the hotel now.
So she's a real, she's an in and out.
Whereas, Spenny's mom was today and cooker Rose's dad will be out doing the garden.
Like they're the dream.
So they more come to you as opposed to you going to them then because of the travel.
That is brutal flight.
That is sick.
It's two flights as well.
Oh, so we just go to, to get to St Barthes.
You go to Antigua nine hours and then that bit's grand actually but then you get off
you have to wait three hours and then you get a 20 minute flight to St Barthes that's the killer.
Oh fucking hell.
What a shitty little plan.
So close.
You'd nearly just be like just put me on a boat anything I just need to keep moving.
Yeah yeah what do you do with your three hours? I know you'd nearly just like just put me on a boat anything. I just need to keep moving. Yeah. Yeah.
What do you do with your three hours?
I like that's at the point where I feel like I'm going to start crying.
Usually I will go to the bathroom and cry for at least a minute and a half.
And then I'll go back out to the trenches.
Cause you're both super busy.
Like you've got, you've written a book.
You've got three podcasts.
I think it is one with Joanne, my mom is Spencer and Spencer's busy as well. He's got his podcast, he's got
a non-alcoholic gin, I think, and he was running some super endurance marathon thing. So how
do you split the parenting then? Is it 50-50?
I would say that I'm the more organised one. So I do everything logistical, I do. I mean,
I was even fixing the electricity yesterday.
Spenny's just not great at anything to do with their house.
So I do everything in the house and everything like with the kids, stuff like that.
But he's very good and like that, like he'll get up in the night if he has to, like jobs
that I don't want to do, he'll do.
And then I'll do all the other ones.
But I would say I, I'm just going to say I would do 80%.
I'm like, I was going to say 90%.
I think the fact you went out and do electrics as well, that's easily 10, 50%.
Talk to me about what you mean fixing the electric.
You're grafting.
You've done the kids' home-wall and fix electrics, now you're grafting on another
podcast to promote your own projects.
He's in the fucking bath.
on another podcast to promote your own projects, he's in the fucking bath! Hang on, hang on, let's slow you down a minute. Who the fuck has a bath at 10.40 on a Thursday
morning?
He's not having a bath, he's in the bathroom.
Oh right, yeah.
If the mood took him he would be sitting in the bath at 10.
Sometimes he's in the sauna.
And I'm like, it's five o'clock.
You can't do anything at five o'clock and he'll be there in the sauna.
And I'm like, get out of there.
Which sauna?
No.
5pm sauna.
Yeah. Perfect time.
Tell me about fixing the electrics.
Are you physically doing this?
Oh, well, I mean, it's just the fuses are blue, so I had to go and fix them.
Listen, was I in an electrical box? Yes, I was.
You've pressed a switch back the right way.
No, electrical head. That is the easiest bit of electricity you can do that.
You don't know what you're turning on. You just see which one's the other way to the other side.
Did I fix this? Yes. Did we have lights after? Yes. It's a really tough, tough life for me
here.
But I feel like for Spencer, that's an easy little job for him to do to try and claw back
some percentage wise to get back to 50-50. He's playing the numbers game.
He's just always off running now. He's like, I gotta go training.
And I'm like, sorry.
And he'll come back and he'll be like, oh, I just decided to do a marathon.
I'm like, I'm sure you did because that takes three and a half hours.
And is it for charity?
He does it all for?
He was doing that one for charity.
Yeah.
And then you can't moan because then you look like you don't like charity.
You know what I mean?
I can moan privately at home.
Of course.
Yeah.
They just use that as an excuse to get out of the house, don't they dads?
I'll do all the press and stuff and be like, yeah, well done, I'm so proud.
And then I'll moan and have...
I remember watching Spencer do the celebrity hunted.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you have kids at that point?
No, we didn't.
We didn't.
We spent a very short amount of time with no kids. We only
thought about that when we were having like, actually we were both hiding in the sauna.
We were like, how does this happen to us? And then we were like, we've only not had
kids for like a year and a half. That was it. And then we had kids really quickly. Yeah.
And are you done now? That's quite intense. I mean, you know, I don't, I do know what
we had this chat for ages. I don't, I think that we probably will
have one more. Our life is already a disaster. It's already very full on.
You seem like so full of beans and well turned out and so successful. You always look really
well and refreshed. How's that happening? Genetics?
I haven't had a shower today, so I don't smell great, but I do have makeup on. I'm an early person, so I like getting up early.
And then they go to bed at seven.
I'm on their schedule, so I'll get up and eat in the morning.
I have my dinner at five o'clock and then I'm like seven o'clock, they go to bed.
And I'm thinking, when am I going to get a bed?
Very short.
That is the answer.
Sleep.
Because what I forget with me and you, Josh, we do stuff in the day, we do podcasts or
whatever, but we also do drag ourselves to do like till 10 and finish at 10. And that's killing me.
Yeah.
That's what's holding. But if you're getting to bed early, then you're, you know, you mean you've got no life.
No, I'm a complete loser, but I'm thrilled. I feel great.
What time are you asleep?
Last night. Now now this is pathetic.
I'm so glad you asked me about my sleep.
It's my favorite topic.
Last night I was asleep by...
Have you got it on an app there?
Yeah, 21.23.
Eight hours, 20 minutes sleep.
Wow!
Nine-twenty-three years of sleep.
Yeah.
Now that's an early one for me in fairness, because we've been doing all the dancing, so we're wrecked here.
Oh yes, you've been both doing the Strictly Christmas special.
Yeah, I fell asleep at 9.15 last night. It's just mad, isn't it?
Well, you just kept going up to the, it's the other at the end of a dance, I was like, did you get something wrong there?
And he'd be like, yeah, I'd be like, okay, cool, me too.
But have you been having fun with it? Is it an enjoyable experience?
Ah yeah, it's great. It's great. It's a lot of work.
Would you recommend it?
I would, but you need to know that you're going to put like, I think if you're going to do it,
it's good to do the Strictly Special because you'll know how much work you have to put into it.
They do say you only have to dance 12 hours, but you don't want to go out there and be
completely rubbish. You have to put a bit more into it. But it is fun. I would say, yeah, do it. Okay.
So with three kids, two, four and six, how is that day to day three kids that two I find
difficult, but talk me through like your mornings.
So like there are points in the day someone came over to answer the jacuzzi.
Obviously.
Isn't that too big?
I mean, it must be stressful.
You're happy.
He decides to go up Everest and on ultra marathons.
It's like if that they have the better options than the morning.
He's literally he's now doing seven triathlons and seven, no, no, seven Ironmen and seven
continents. And I'm like, can you make it any more obvious that you're trying to get
away from us?
Yeah. I mean, the things people do to avoid looking after their kids.
Dead right. What do we do? I actually, yeah. So Joanne sent someone over to our house last
night, but she sent them over at half five to pick something up. And I actually found
myself feeling really embarrassed because you know when someone
doesn't have kids and they come into that madness of that time, I was like, sorry, it's
not usually like this. Don't mind them. It's actually usually very quiet. Just having a
great day. Trying to get them out. That's our mornings. My little brother lives with
us downstairs and like he, we don't see him between seven and seven because he just, he knows that that's bad times to come into the house. So we get up
at about, I'd say half six. One of my kids is always in the bed with us. She'll sneak
in during the night and then my kids have to be out the door by 8am to get to school
and sometimes my son Theodore goes first. So I might have to take him at half seven
and I go do his little run club with him for half an hour and then he goes to school. So Monday's our nightmare.
He does a running club?
Yeah, he loves it. I know.
I didn't know kids did run like what, sprints or this?
No, we go for it. We go for it. It's about a two and a half K run, but I went with them because
I think I'm like a decent enough runner, especially with six year olds. They were like flying along.
I was in bits after.
Really?
Yeah. I'm like, I'll just do that on a Monday. That's my running now for the week.
Yeah.
Surely that's a Spencer job.
No, that falls under my, my thing too.
Your jurisdiction. Yeah. That's, we've got an early, we have to be at the house about quarter to eight,
which is tough.
In Ireland, kids go to school. We get there. They're in for nine. And when
they're like in reception and year one, they go home at half 12. So it's really like, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I don't want to start off with stereotypes here, but you're literally not going to stop.
We're not mad for reading, so it's fine. I actually don't know, but really, how much
are you learning in those two years? Not more. Everyone learns how to use a fork and stuff
eventually. I don't worry about that kind
of thing. Well, it's like in Denmark, they don't learn to read until they're, is it 10 or 7 or
something like it? It's not like if you haven't learned to read by five, it's over. Do you know
what I mean? A bit more laid back. I do think in England is a little bit hard. You got written off
for five didn't you Rob? Yeah. Yeah. I got written off by my first parents evening. They said, I went to be so Rob, Rob's never
going to be a high flyer. I suggest you get down the early learning center and do shapes.
But I had a terrible, I hated school. It was awful.
You weren't saying that about someone's kid.
I know. To be fair to my mom, she took me out of that school and put me in another school because if the teachers decided and made that opinion of you. I'd probably do that as well.
No that would really annoy me. So my mom moved me and then just didn't go to parents evenings again.
Yeah. So yeah, ignorance is bliss. No she didn't. My mom used to come home crying sometimes and I'd be like
oh what were you like at school? Awful really. I just couldn't concentrate. I couldn't stop talking to people.
I spent the entire day writing notes to my friends who I was with at the time, but just
had to send more stuff.
So I think I just drove everyone insane.
Do you know how they say opposites attract?
Like you and Spencer, that doesn't work for you two, does it?
Because they're very similar.
You sound like his mom.
I'm like, I'm deeply offended. Your energy levels and you're fancy at a hundred miles an hour.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're both like that.
Um, and, but like he is, people ask me, is he always like that?
And I'm like, no, sometimes he's very relaxed.
He's not always like that.
But, uh, his mom always thinks that we're similar, but I'm like, sorry. I don't love myself nearly as much
as he loves himself. There's no way you're not putting me under that. He has this amazing level
of self-confidence. Like I've never seen it in any other person in my life before. I'm like,
if you could be anyone else, like anyone else in the world, who would you be? He's like, me.
Who do you think loves Spencer more, you or Spencer?
Oh, Spencer, Spencer. So where did you get that confidence from?
Hard to compete. Where does he get the confidence? I think, do you know what, his brothers were so
older than him. So they were like, I don't know, like 16 or something when he was born.? I think, do you know what, his brothers were so older than him. So they were
like, I don't know, like 16 or something when he was born. So I'd say he was like,
like I was, I was the third kid. I was like, who I was knowing.
You just don't want the oldest to look after.
Yeah, exactly. Whereas everyone was like, oh my God, the baby's here with him, I'd say.
Yeah.
Great way to be.
And are your kids really energetic and stuff then?
I'd say, no, my daughter, it's hard to get her to do anything sport related.
She learned how to cycle recently and she loves cycling because it's easier than walking.
Right.
You know, the seat at the back of the buggy, she was still going to reception and that we had to
tell her it broke because we were like, she can't sit in that anymore. She just wanted to be on
that forever. Now sometimes she'll climb into the bottom of the buggy. Theodore is quite hyped up
and my son Otto, he's the youngest, he's two and he's just at the stage of going around and just beating up everyone. Like just hating everyone. Really? Yeah. I know.
That call. There's been a bit of a biter at school or something like that.
Weirdly not at school, but in his own home, he feels very comfortable to attack. So she,
she was having a play date and he just picked up a train and just threw it at her friend. And her
friend was bawling crying. And then they just left like 10 minutes later I was like oh no great, not great.
And do they all get on though or is it a bit you know they've got they've got so they because
they're close in age aren't they? But then the three's a crowd almost but if you went
from fourth then they've all got one that's close to their age kind of thing.
Yeah I'm from a family of four and like my preference my favourite would be my sister
and then my brother's like I like my brothers but I don't like them as much as my sister.
Yeah.
Your father lives with you, doesn't it?
Yeah. He lives downstairs. Yeah.
Lovely. You wouldn't even hear that. It doesn't have to listen to a podcast.
He knows where he stands in the family. He knows he's the ray of sunshine. He's the youngest.
So he's my mom's ray of sunshine. Right. He's a spot. It's spoiled one. Yeah. She called, she calls
him Ray Ray. His name's Alexander, but Ray for Ray of sunshine. Yeah. He's all right.
That's got a fit before in it. What's the name for you? Just Vogue. The third one. Here
she comes. And is Ray And is Ray the bottom one?
Ray is the youngest, yeah.
Yeah, that's how it works.
You're going to have a fourth kid and they're going to be absolutely the Ray of the situation.
I know.
I look at them a lot.
I'm like, oh God, poor us.
You won't know what to do it yourself.
By the way, Rob's glasses light up when he's Googling.
He's Googling your family, I reckon.
No, it wasn't. I was going to get the book title up Josh. That's what I was doing.
It's only going out tomorrow. Yeah literally I just announced it.
Oh you just announced the book? So you just announced it?
Yeah. So what's it called?
So have we got an exclusive on it? We're not an exclusive.
You do. Okay it's something to do with my facial features. What part of my face do you think it's about?
This is awkward Rob. This is awkward. What part of my face do you think it's about? This is awkward, Rob.
This is awkward.
What part of your face is it about?
Okay.
You've written a book about your facial features.
But the name came from something on my face.
Right.
Okay.
Okay.
This is awkward, Rob.
It's called...
It's so easy.
I know, but I don't get it wrong, Vogue.
Say it.
Oh, God, no.
Try it, Josh.
No!
I think I'm losing contact with them.
I think I'm breaking up with them.
Is that your eyes?
It's about my mouth.
Your mouth?
It's called Big Mouth.
Big Mouth.
Big Mouth, okay, and that's just been announced.
This is hot off the press.
It's coming out in May, but it's up for pre-order now.
Oh, amazing. So they can order now.
Big Mouth, Fogue, Williams. And is it autobiography?
It's kind of like a collection of stories,
but a little bit for my life, but not really an autobiography.
I'm too young for just that.
Did you have another book out before as well though?
A few years back?
Oh jeez, yeah.
Do you remember when everyone was bringing out the wellness books?
Oh, a wellness book?
A wellness book where I was talking about ponytails and stuff and it was great at the
time but then I was like...
What, sorry?
Ponytails?
Is that what's happening at the well?
It was about homewear and looking after your skin and looking after your hair and all those
bits.
Self care?
Yeah, like a self carey kind of book.
With Voguey Dub?
What was it called?
They made me call it.
They made me call it.
Love this.
This is back in the day, you know, when you've got no control, they were like, no, we're
going to call it this.
And I was like, please don't call it that.
Vogue Williams, everything.
Everything.
Everything.
Big mouths are better than this. call it this and I was like, please don't call it that. Vogue Williams, everything. Everything.
Everything.
Big mouth's a better name. It suits me better.
What are you going to do Vogue if after this podcast, Vogue Williams everything goes to
number one in the book charts? Because everyone's like, let's buy that one.
Let's buy that one instead.
Don't buy that one instead. Definitely don't buy that one. I won't make anything off that. I feel like you've been having your podcast,
my therapist goes to me with Joanne and then the other podcast come off the back of that,
it feels like that's been your big hit. People have seen another side to you that they wouldn't
normally see where in traditional media, you were the sort of like a model and stuff and it was all about wellness and stuff. But she's the mom that's got it all.
And now we know she hasn't got it all. I definitely don't. I don't. The modeling thing is the worst
part that's in my, I'm trying to remove that all the time. I was telling you this Josh, that I wasn't a model, I was an Irish model. And some Irish models are amazing and they go off to Milan and stuff.
I did not.
I was standing in the middle of a shopping street holding a burger or holding a Magnum
ice cream in a bikini.
So that's what I was doing.
Exactly.
Grid girl, ring card girl kind of vibes.
Exactly.
That's what I was doing.
Well that's the beauty of podcasts and Exactly, that's what I was doing.
Well, that's the beauty of podcasts and stuff like that,
is that you can actually show people who you are,
not what the words will say you are.
So, yeah, that's great.
That's brilliant.
You've got that book where you can be more yourself rather than...
It's available for pre-order now.
It's called Vogue Williams Everything.
No, don't you dare!
No, Big Mouth.
Do not buy that one. No, big mouth. Big mouth. Big mouth. Buy that one.
Buy big mouth.
Can I talk to you, because you were part of the podcast revolution Vogue.
You are, I'd say, one of the leading lights.
When you and Joanne started your podcast, which is My Therapist Ghost,
it's by the way, I've never asked this, is that a true thing My Therapist Ghosted me of one of you?
Oh, well, it's not me, obviously.
It is true.
Like, she's nuts, isn't she?
I love Joanne. She is.
I love her.
When you look at when I see Joanne, I'm with Joanne.
She makes me laugh so much.
But I look at her like you live the life.
You don't just talk.
She has got the best, like the best life. I've never known someone treat themselves so well.
She will be on her deathbed and she'll be like, there's literally nothing I would change.
I was so kind to myself. I did everything I wanted. But yeah, her therapist ghosted
her.
Wow.
You must really not want to talk to somebody if you're turning down like 80 quid an hour.
Yeah. Or just up the fee until they get enough. That's all I'd do. Sorry. It's a grand an hour now. When
you started that, what was like, obviously you could, I mean, we get asked this all the
time. Obviously you couldn't imagine, but was it just you two just having a laugh? We'll
just start this. Well, see, I had one with Spencer, my husband, and so that was doing
quite well. And then they were like, if you wanted to do another one, we could do it. And Joanne and I had
recently done a video, this is where it came out of. I was, she was basically doing my
fake tan because I have a fake tan brand. So we were trying to do a video together that
would be quite funny.
You really do do everything.
I'll send you a tan package.
Do you know what? This is, you spend any time in vogue. Cause I was like, I haven't had
any fake tan for Strictly.
And she was like, I've got a brand.
And then someone asked me about a drink.
I said, I don't drink.
And Vogue said, oh, Spencer's got a non-alcoholic drink company.
They've got everything covered.
Whatever you say.
And she's like, I've got you.
I've got you here.
I've got you here.
Precisely.
You need a book about wellness.
Well, let me take it.
Oh, here it comes, my friend. It's got everything. But we did that video and it did quite well,
but then we went into studio together and we hadn't worked properly together like that
before. Like we'd done a few things together and then we just had such a laugh and we just
kept doing it and it kind of went from there. Like we weren't sure if the Irish humour would kind of translate so well over here.
And then, and then yeah, I kind of, it kind of worked.
And it was just, and the thing about podcasting is you're sitting there and you're chatting
and you're having such a laugh, just sitting, having a conversation.
Like there's obviously a lot of work goes into it behind the scenes and stuff, but it's
such a nice thing to do.
Like, and I think I started podcasting because Benny and I were
doing a TV show together and I was like, I can't, I don't want to do this anymore. I
just didn't want to do a TV show. Like pretending to get married again and stuff for TV.
Yeah. I do think you can be your authentic self when it's a bit more lo-fi.
Totally.
Where sometimes TV, there's so many producers, so many things, cameras, audience crowd, and
it gets in your head, you panic and then you start being a version that you think other people want of you. And then
it's exhausting. And then actually, when you can have more control, you can be you want to be and
then relax and you know, you and Joanne is so funny that story about someone messaging saying that
they'd, they'd slept with Joanne in Greece on a holiday. And Joanne's reaction to it is hilarious.
I'd slept with Joanne in Greece on a holiday and Joanne's reaction to it is hilarious.
But the way you sit in front,
it feels like two girls or two mates
just in a pub chatting.
And then the world gets to listen and join in.
So it's such a great show.
Yeah, I loved doing it.
Hello, I'm Rachel Fairburn from All Killin' All Filler.
And I'm Paul McCaffrey from What's Upset You Now.
And we'd like to tell you all about
our brand new podcast,
Clad Rags.
Every week we have a guest from the world of entertainment and design their perfect night out.
Where are you going?
What year is it?
What are you wearing?
What are you listening to?
And most importantly...
Can we come?
Where would you go, Paul?
Do you know what?
I'd go anywhere in 1995.
I don't care where it is.
I think 1995 was the peak of all human existence,
the clothes, the music, everything. What would you listen to?
Well, I'll be honest, if I'm in a good mood, it's an Oasis playlist. If I'm in a bad mood,
it's an Oasis playlist.
Absolutely.
Come and join us wherever you get your podcasts for the best night out of your life.
And what's it like spending a lot of time talking to someone who is got the opposite life to a mother of three?
It's kind of nice because I can see the other side and I'm like, oh, God, like when
we go away on tour or something like you were saying, like doing nice, it's so unusual
to wake up the next day and I'm like, what do I want to do today?
Like what do I do on my own? Literally in Australia, I'm like, I'm just going to go and
do whatever I want. It's mad to have like your whole life back for a couple of weeks. It's really
weird to just be so, I love it. And that's what her life is like 52 weeks a year. Yeah, she's got a
lovely life, I have to say. What's the longest you'll go away on tour without seeing the kids then?
When you went to Australia, was you away for a couple of weeks?
That was the very longest I did 10 days.
And I couldn't really do that again.
I did three weeks when I went to Australia and it was horrible.
So it's too much. So they're going to come with me next time.
But I found when I come back, because you've been away so long,
and kids, especially at a young age, change so quickly.
I'd go to make some toast or something.
And Lou and I would be spent, he'd go, Oh, they don't have it like that anymore.
Yeah. So alienated and out of the loop, like you're watching a family exist. And you know,
I know, just to make the toast for like that. And like, you know, every parent gets that a little
bit as they grow up and change what they like. But when like you've left and they love that and
you go back, like, no, it's such a shock to the system. Oh, I know.
I don't even like when I work so much that I love to do the school runs every day.
I like to be able to do that if I possibly can.
And just being away for too long, I hate it.
I just don't enjoy it.
And certain shows that I'd be asked to do,
I wouldn't be able to do them because I couldn't go away for that period of time.
With the balancing of all, how do you manage your diary so you get like family holidays
and stuff like that? Do you have to sit down with Spencer and have like a big planning
meeting for the year?
No, I'm kind of, again, that would fall under my umbrella.
So he's not even there for the meeting?
He thinks I'm insane though, because we will be on holidays and I'm like, right, I'm going
to book this holiday for blah blah blah. Because I don't like to leave a holiday until another holiday is booked.
Yeah. I like it. Respect. It doesn't matter. Yeah. So then you know you have something
to look forward to like six months down the line. But we have a place in Ireland. So like,
I kind of use that for like October, what do you call it over here? Half term. Half
term. What do you call it in Ireland? Mid term.
Mid term?
Yeah. No, so I always kind of booked the holidays, but we do the same thing because my mom lives
in Spain and it gets too hot for her in the summer. So she leaves and we just go and take
her house. It's getting like earlier and earlier. I'm like, mom, it's going to be roasting at
the end of May. Now you're going to have to, you should.
Mid term. So do you stay with her if she's there or is it too small to do that?
No, like they just wouldn't be able, they'd be all for it and then you'd get there and they just,
they really like their own space. I even went down alone when I was shooting, I was shooting
sitting down there and I went down and I could feel after about day two and a half, I was like,
they're ready for me to leave. Oh really?
If you've had four kids, it happens to you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ray can stay as much as he wants.
He can stay for days.
Come here Ray.
Ray is always down there.
Always.
Is he?
Yeah, no, she was bitching to me about Ray.
I have to say he was just there the weekend.
Yeah, a little bitching about Ray.
Has Ray got a partner?
Okay, that's probably the problem. Has Ray got a partner?
Okay.
That's probably the problem.
Ray's got a partner now.
He's not mommy special boy anymore.
I just see girls stick with their moms. Boys kind of run away.
Yeah, they do.
Don't they?
Yeah.
I think that's, I think that I don't know what that is though.
I think like blokes just aren't very good at organizing stuff.
No, I'm not saying, like, that's an excuse for not doing parenting,
but I'm saying, like, parenting aside, blokes aren't that great at organizing to meet,
like, a bloke. They're just, they're not, they're a bit more on the day.
I'll do this, I'll do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then, but, and then what happens is, if they get married to a woman,
and then they'll go, like, oh, I've got this book, she's got that,
and then you sort of go, oh, okay, sounds good.
Yeah, you just don't think so.
But then it's skewed towards their family, isn't it? What's
the relationship with Spencer's family when you go out to St. Bart's? Is it called St.
Bart's? Yeah, it's amazing. And his parents, it is it's amazing. We don't actually stay
in the hotel by the way, because it's always booked. Oh, so do they own a hotel? Is that
what it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They own a hotel out there.
And you can't get a room in it.
I mean, if we really wanted one, but there's so many of us.
And as well with kids, you need a kitchen.
Like you have to have a kitchen for when you're,
like gone are the days of like going down
and having your breakfast buffet.
I love a breakfast buffet.
Nice carnage.
But like, yeah, because if you've got a villa
or an apartment with a kitchen,
you can whip up some scrambled eggs in two minutes.
Everyone's eaten and then you can get out.
That's exactly it.
So we never, we always try and just get a villa because there's so many of us as well.
But when we go to St. Barthes, like his mom is full, full on and she, she's so helpful
and she's helpful over here.
Like this weekend she's going to cook us a massive roast.
She's just, she'll come around a lot.
Does she live in London mainly then?
Yeah, they live in London a lot. And then they like, if we go to St's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's
just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just,
she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's
just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just,
she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's
just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just,
she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's
just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's
just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's just, she's the kids. So it's great.
And this is an interesting dynamic with you and the mother-in-law that you did strictly. This is what I said to impress your mother-in-law.
Yeah, that's nice.
Yeah, she loves this. She's the dream because like you don't always get that
lucky.
I like my mother-in-law. I like my mother-in-law. She's an absolute legend.
Why are you stumbling over the start? Say something that won't get me in trouble quick.
She is genuinely a winner. I take that. Fucking hell, how big is that water bottle Vogue? What's
going on there?
It's a Stanley Josh. Come on, you know, even you know what a Stanley is.
Oh, yeah.
So I saw someone with one of these the other day
it's got the time of day so you can track whether you're on on your water amount. Oh don't add more
stress to your life. It always changes it's like you should be drinking two liters of water today
oh no if you drink two liters you're drowning yourself like I just I never know I drink when
I'm thirsty. Did you cover it in your first book, everything? I did. There's a lot of beige water in taking the book.
Very key. Very key to wellness.
My first publisher will never want to look and work with me again.
Okay, sorry. Sorry.
I bet it sold really well, didn't it, Beau? Did it sell?
I mean, it sold well enough. Yeah. I think I have a feeling Big Mouth is going to do
a bit better.
Let's concentrate on Big Mouth. It's available to buy in May.
Pre-order. It's available for pre-order.
What's your weekend like?
Next time I come on, by the way, I'm going to give you something I don't want to promote.
Something I want to do really badly.
I'm going
to tell you about my competition.
I think I think all publicity is good publicity. The dogs are back. I thought I was so glad
she does that too. Cause when he does that nonstop, I couldn't look at him there because
he was in the room and I knew if I looked at him, he'd come over and try and say hello.
All right.
So he just ignored you.
I tried to just not make...
He wants to come on.
So we will be fact checking a lot of this stuff with Spencer when he comes on.
The 80%...
We're still trying to get him to name a percentage that he does.
I am not concerned.
Ask him that now what he thinks he does if he's still in the room.
What percentage...
He's gone, he's gone.
Oh, that's convenient, isn't it?
Oh, he'd try and...
He'd definitely say, I do more.
He might be slightly offended with the 80, but I stand by it.
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
Okay, fair enough.
And then we'll ask him how do you fix a fuse box?
Question two, how do you fix a fuse box?
Question three, what's the best time for a sauna?
Five p.m. last night he did it.
You're all right, you're all right, aren't you?
I was like, oh, but it seems I am.
Five p.m. is a mental time.
Nothing can happen at five p.m PM after survive it in the kitchen with the
kids. So you can't go for a sauna at five. If Lou went to go for a bath at half-hour,
I'm like, no, you're not. You're awake till they're in bed.
Get up, Eddie.
Get up.
Neither of us are doing it.
Because it's dinner, bath time all that time. It's just like, I clock up on my fitness ring.
I clock up like sometimes it can be a spin session. I think I've gone cycling and I'm like, I clock up on my, on my fitness ring. I clock up like sometimes it can be a spin session.
Things have gone cycling and I'm like, no, I've just done dinner and baths.
What time's your bedtime then? Cause you've got the two year old must be going down a lot earlier.
Like is it staggered?
No. So the four year old Gigi, who doesn't like to walk very often,
she's knackered by the end of the day, obviously from, from existing.
So she goes down at half
six and she'll be asleep in five.
Fuck off. That is the dream.
I know. And she won't wake up till seven. Sometimes she'll be asleep at eight.
Oh my God. Oh, imagine when she's a teenager. That's going to be mad.
You've just not got one there.
I wish it was one of the other ones because she's the easiest child. So like Otto goes
to bed at seven and then T, we try and like pretend to him that it's half seven and get
him in around quarter past seven.
Right. Okay. So do they all go to sleep easy?
They have those Tony boxes. Have you got a Tony box?
Oh yeah, they're good. They are.
Oh, they have those. So they just sit and well, she's, she's eight after five minutes.
T listens to the Tony box. And then which one gets in your bed at what time she gets in the bed
I never really wake up when she gets in. I'm gonna guess around one
Right. She's just there. She's just there but you sleep so much better when she's not there
Does she climb over into the middle or
She's very polite she gets in at the end and crawls her way up and over into the middle or is she actually she's very polite. She gets in
at the end and crawls her way up and goes into the middle. But then sometimes when I've
had a really bad night's sleep, I'll be like, right, if you stay in your bed five nights
in a row, I will get you a mermaid Barbie. Anything to just stay in bed. And does that
work? It does sometimes. But then she'll start creeping back in once the Barbies arrived.
Yeah. Yeah. So that's the problem. If I'm away in a hotel and there's space in the bed,
my daughter can get in without even, you know what I mean?
There's not even, it's so much space she won't even notice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's fine though.
If they're not like kicking anything, it's fine, but it definitely is.
But they start getting into the argument that they ain't got enough pillow.
You're like, fuck off then.
There's a bed there with two pillows on.
You're inundated off then. There's a bed there with two pillows on.
You're inundated with pillows in your room.
Rob's kids come in, fuck off.
Sometimes they come in and just stare really close to my face to wake me up. It's horrible. And you're just shocked. don't even shower, it's just like a zombie.
How busy are you with clubs and stuff like that weekends? You just do nothing and chill, or are you like in and out of clubs? Because it's a balance. I feel like we used to overdo it,
but we've calmed down now. I think we're overdoing it. I think so. On Saturday,
we have tennis in the mornings, swimming in the afternoon. And on Sunday, it's gymnastics,
but there's always a couple of parts she's thrown in.
Oh, that's, that's a lot. And is that all three of them doing those activities or is
that spread between the three?
So the two older ones are doing the tennis and gymnastics and then the little one does
swimming as well. So they can all do it at the same time. But if you're not doing that,
what are you doing? You have to find something else to do with them.
I know. And these gymnastics is inside.
Yeah. And you can leave them there for an hour. But also I try to, I bribe Spenny, I'm
like, right, I'll go to the tennis and then you go swimming. I don't want to go swimming.
Yeah. Yeah. Also there's a sauna at the swimming pool, so it's ideal for Spenny. Swimming is
worse, especially in the winter. Summer, I don't mind the swimming.
Yeah. They've actually got quite a nice pool, so it makes a difference when you're not in
one of those like-
It's just so hot. I'd hate my kid to be a swimmer, like professional and have to watch
that.
And they're up at half six in the morning.
Imagine if a kid becomes a swimmer and that gets played back to me and the sports personality
in the year.
It's already too late Rob.
It's already too late.
It became like an Olympian. Obviously, a dad wasn't a big unhater if my daughter was a
professional swimmer.
It's the biggest to on the news.
Two right?
I'd rather the swimming though than the outdoor stuff.
Like we football on a Wednesday and it's always so cold and wet.
Oh, evenings.
Yeah, he's got football on a Wednesday, he's got pottery in school on a Monday and he's
got athletics on a Tuesday.
That's too much.
And athletics will be a weird one.
I wonder this.
What?
If like, athletics, you'd be like...
You might cut their week down for a charity fundraiser.
Spend the week off.
In one week, I'm going to do athletics.
I'm going to do pottery, tennis, football, gymnastics.
Watch me go.
I know.
And I'll swivel the end.
I treat, I like, cause he wants, it's the older one that wants to do all of them.
And I'm just like, Oh God, it's such a nightmare. I haven't logistically having to get to all
those places.
What is it? How good is a six year old at pottery?
That's a new thing though. So he's going to start, he was doing cooking. So he was bringing
home sausage rolls and stuff like that. And then he wanted to change to pottery. So now
he's changed, but that's in school. So he just stays there. I don't have to do it.
Yeah. That's all right.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah have to do it. That's all right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is good.
You're going to be eating out of some shit bowls for the next couple of years, aren't
you?
I know. But you know when they bring home all their art and you kind of have to go through
it, what are you going to say if you're like shit, not just shit?
I'm Framer.
Let's talk about the other podcast. I want to cover it all. Let's talk about the other podcast.
So you and Spencer.
Me and Spenny.
Yep.
We do a podcast together.
And also you've got one on your own now.
Well I'm really excited to have both of you on that one.
Never limit it.
Yes.
You've got Matthew Crosby on before us.
Yeah, Matthew Crosby.
Well you guys are kind of really hard to get.
Yeah.
Well we're quite busy at the moment with the tour, but we will be.
But is it yours, Wanda?
Is it in person?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a logistic nightmare.
That's the problem.
That's where me and Rob are heading.
That's where me and Rob are heading.
Getting people in person is going to be, is it more difficult?
Do you know what?
Not really, because you just kind of, everything does does align and it is, you know, when you're
with somebody, it kind of, it kind of does work slightly better.
But I was thrilled when I heard this was remote today.
I was like, yes, lovely feeling.
Oh, God.
Literally imagine your commute being 30 seconds from your sofa.
Well, I was meant to go in to do in to do the Spencer and Vogue pod.
I've just messaged the group.
I'm like, is there any chance I could just do remote?
Surely they can't do that in your fucking house.
I'm staying here. I'm not going in.
No, I'm saving myself an error.
Yeah. So what was spent?
So you and Spencer travel in to do the pod together.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
We used to have a set up here, but like he's so insistent on like,
we need the background for the videos and I'm kind of like, it's grand. It's grand
like this. Anything that makes it slightly easier. I'm like, grand. I'm always in there
anyway because I go in a lot for Never Live a Day because sometimes you get loads of guests
at once.
Yeah, you do a full day of it.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm coming on to show Matthew Crosby how it's done as a fucking guest. Your friendship
with Matthew Crosby is one of the most unlikely friendships.
How are you, fellas?
I love Matthew Crosby. He's so funny because he was helping me. So my biggest fear would be to do
stand-up comedy. Like my biggest fear. And when Spenny and I were doing our podcast show,
we had a little bit in it that we were doing like five minutes of stand up each. So Matthew
Crosby was helping me with that. So we basically just abused Spenny for ages.
And just roasted Spenny.
Just completely went in on Spen. But that's how I met, I'm friendly with Matthew. He's
so funny, Matthew.
Obviously, because you're like, you know, like a famous couple and a lot of your life
is played out like on podcasts and on telly and stuff. What about your kids? Do you put
your kids on Instagram? Will you involve them in it? Or is there going to be like this suspense
and vogue and the kids vlog? Or would you like that to be separate?
I do know I do put them up on Instagram. I've just always, I've never minded that.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no judgment. It's just everyone does it differently.
Yeah, everyone does. And I had a friend of mine used to be like, no, no, no, I don't
want them up. And now she puts it, just you change your mind. But I put them up until
they, if they ever said to me, I don't want to put up like, Theodore is really funny because
I was filming him on his little go-kart thing. And he's like, don't put that on Instagram.
And I was like, why? And he goes, I don't want anyone else getting this. And I was filming him on his go-kart thing. And he's like, don't put that on Instagram. And I was like, why?
And he goes, I don't want anyone else getting this.
And I was like, what?
He didn't want anyone else to have his really cool go-kart.
So he didn't want me to cut it up because they'd see us.
I was like, that's so mean.
I was like, I was going to buy it for your cousin.
He's like, no, you're not buying it for him.
The first The Influencer.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Cause I think there's a difference.
Well, but then some people do it a bit more where they'll like involve them in
the like adverts or things like that.
But I think sometimes, yeah, sometimes I do.
Um, and I kind of like, cause obviously they do, I do an ad for fairy.
So they're in that when they're babies and I'm like, I've kind of been
guilted into like setting them up a little savings again.
So like, at least I don't feel bad.
Yes.
Sorry.
What's that?
Oh, you know, it's all right.
Thanks.
Cheers.
But oh yeah, definitely.
This decorator is in that are fixing a hole, but they're going to make some noise to make the hole bigger before they can fix it again.
Do you know anything you sort of think you understand how decorating or the whole artwork?
They're taking the piece wrong. They're taking the piss, Rob.
Why make a bigger hole?
I actually kind of do. I did two construction degrees. I used to want to be a builder.
And you can change a fuse box, mate.
I feel like the spentron robot with the first AI robots that are so human-like that you shouldn't be able to do all this.
It was my backup plan.
And what kind of builder did you want to be like proper building site builder?
Or like, I worked, I worked on a building site in Lewisham for six months.
Lewisham?
Yeah, with wings.
Yeah.
You should go back.
It ain't finished.
Strangely enough, I was not offered a job after.
That's a lie. But how old were you then? When was this? 2010?
Probably about 19, I'd say. I'd just moved to London for six months.
I was not interested in working. I was going wild.
I remember on Fridays they'd be like, see you on Monday.
I'd be like, yeah, see you on Monday.
No intention of going in on Monday.
I may see what you're doing on the building site.
I was a site engineer. So I was looking after different sub contractors.
I was about to say that actually.
Imagine showing up and you're like, sorry, I'm working for her.
19 year old on a caltrop.
Let me look to Ellington, see what she's done before.
Well, she's modeled a burger in the high street.
There's a picture of her with her head inside a giant burger.
Okay.
She looks legit.
But that was going to be your proper career, was it?
Yeah.
Your big proper job. I wanted to do that, but like with on a smaller scale, not like a big, like we were building
schools and stuff like that.
I was all, I mean, I was really bad.
The first day I showed up and they're like, would he go out and measure where the sinks
and the toilets are going to go?
Off I went with the measuring tape.
And then I came back and he was like, have you ever measured anything before?
And I was like, no.
And he was like, well, this is all wrong.
I'd never done anything.
How do you fuck up measuring?
Listen, I didn't know which number to go for
or where it was supposed to.
I didn't get it.
I'm going to send you out to measure
where you're going to put your toilet roll holder.
And we'll see how you get on.
It'll be on the ceiling.
It'll be on the ring.
From that photo of you two together,
I think it's going to be a lot lower than yours.
Final question Vogue.
Vogue, it's been a joy.
Have you got anything more to promote?
Any other projects you want to pop in?
I think we've promoted everything.
No, that's a good bit of business.
Final question Vogue, we ask everyone, what's the amazing thing about Spencer that
he does as a parent that you go, oh my God, I'm so lucky to have him and have children
with him.
And what's the one thing he does that annoys you and grates at you that you wish you'd
stop doing as a parent?
Ooh, okay.
The one thing he does that's amazing, he'll do all, if I really don't want to do something,
he'll always pick up the slack.
He doesn't really complain as much as I do.
So he never mounts, never whinges. And if you say, I don't want to do that, he'll always pick up the slack. He doesn't really complain as much as I do. So he never mounts, never whinges. If you say I don't want to do that, he will just do it straight
off. If I said I didn't want to do it, he would do it straight away, which I think is amazing.
One thing he does that annoys me is packages arrive to our house. And like when packages arrive,
I open them, I empty them, the boxes go to the bin. Benny's packages arrive at the house,
they sit there and I'll leave them and I won't say anything.
I'm like, don't do it, folk. Don't do it. Don't do it. And after about two weeks, I'm like,
are you going to open that? Or like, is it just living there now? That's what annoys me.
Yeah, fair enough. Good answers. And we will bring them up with Spencer when he comes on the show.
Whatever he says, it's bullshit.
Can you record from a sauna? Or will the mic short out? Is that the electric's way? Oh, he brings the phone in there. He just waits till it says temperature too hot.
I bet he's the kind of person, he does take his phone in there, doesn't he? I bet he's
one of those headphones as well. I wouldn't do that. I'm not that kind of guy. I panic
about the phone too much.
Thank you so much. Good luck with the podcast and the new book, Big Mouth. Big Mouth, pre-order now. Thank you guys.
I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Doherty. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast,
What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday?
That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure, where do we put the stress? Is it what did you
do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday?
I'm really downplaying it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question,
but do you think I should go bigger?
What did you do yesterday?
What did you do yesterday?
Every single word this time,
I'm gonna try and make it like it is the killer word.
What did you do yesterday?
That's too much, isn't it?
That is, that's over the top. What did you do yesterday? I think that's too much, isn't it? That is. That's over the top.
What did you do yesterday?
Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.