Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S9 EP32: The Christmas Stress Tornado

Episode Date: December 13, 2024

**TRIGGER WARNING** There is discussion of both Santa Claus and Elves Behaving Badly in this episode that is not suitable for younger ears!! More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... Please follow and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Just so you know, in this episode we talk about Father Christmas and elves, which is more suitable for bigger ears. More suitable for bigger ears. But not elves it is. No. Like adult humans it is. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe.

Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener,

with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only six dollars at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dining only until 11 a.m. At Mazda, we craft cars for those who choose to do more than simply move. So choose joy, choose the road and choose to get out there.

Choose your calling, choose to make memories and choose more of what moves you. Mazda, move and be moved. Mazda. Move and be moved. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Rob? Yeah. Beckett? Beckett. Josh?

Josh. Widicombe? Yeah. Widicombe? Widicombe. It's very cute that Yeah, good one that That was, my daughter

Aoife, spell A-O-I-F-E Aoife The problem is, I think Aoife is a beautiful name You spend your entire life telling people how to spell it Aoife, who is 20 months She doesn't stop talking So I thought I'd see if she could say your names Big fan of the pod.

You get me through the endless walks trying to get my daughter to nap. See you in the glamorous Southend next year, Rob. Keep being sexy and relatable. Emily from Essex. When was that sent? Okay. Do you think you're in a position to start pointing fingers at bad work?

Considering you're 15 minutes late to this? That was sent in August. 21st of August 938 am British summertime good work can we address a couple of problems in the in the workhouse of Peridon Hill 10 a.m. start in Soho 10 past 10 arrival no fuck that 12 minutes past 12 minutes past certainly not quarter past okay I was on target yeah and the records supposed to start at 10 a.m. yeah I know you arrived at 10 minutes past producer Michael arrived at eight minutes past old fucking Billy suburbs over it yeah it's been sat here on time you've come from London to London what's

going on so this isn't the first time either I'm okay last time I arrived early but we went to different Leon's no yeah but last time to be fair, who was it? No, Michael was late last time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your excuse, Michael? Don't throw me under the bus for the last time. Michael's fucking eating his breakfast.

Such a piss tank. A man that's got fuck all to do in the mornings. Let's face it. I mean, I get you're busy, Michael, after these recalls. Do you want me to take you through the last 12 hours of my life? It's not an excuse. It's just how angry I am at myself. Right, okay, we'll get to that.

But guys, if we're going to be in town more and record these, we need to work out a system. Why aren't you on the Tube? Because I'll tell you why, because we're at an Airbnb. Of course you are. So I'll take you through the last 12 hours of my life. Yeah go on. I got back at 1am from the last like New Year's special. In West London? In West London. Okay, so you got home at 2? No, I got back at 1am. Got back at 1? Yeah. Went to bed. Yeah. In the same bed as my son because we're in an Airbnb. Yeah, so you're not sleeping with your wife? Well, she was in that bed because her mum was staying and she was in the bed with our daughter.

Why are you having guests at an Airbnb? Because we needed the childcare. Oh, right. God. Because Rose had to go back to our house to get sorted because we're moving back in today. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, because your kitchen's done today. I've got first fate my emails. We've got a busy day actually. We've got topless photos in my bubbins that we agreed to do. Oh did we? Yep, so we're supposed to do some topless photos. And also Josh Kitchen finish stage one.

So stage one is finished on Wednesday? Oh so it is behind schedule. Two days? You'd settle for that? Well exactly, you don't really keep schedule either so you know fair's good. What's 10 minutes, what's two days? Exactly, chill out. Can you not go into your house then today? Yeah we are, we're moving back in. But the kitchen's not done? No. What does stage one of kitchen mean? I don't know, you've written that down. You told me that. I would never have said stage one. Well you said, I said when the kitchen be done, you went nine for December, fully finished,

can you cook in there? You went no, it'll be this first stage. I certainly wouldn't have used the word stage one. Like you're not a bloody builder like me are you? No, exactly, exactly. Soft launched. Is it soft launched? Have you got walls and windows and doors?

Yeah. So it's fully protected from the elements? Yeah. Sure. So we're inside. But you can't cook? No. And there's still going to be builders there? Oh yeah. Yeah, I would argue kitchen's not finished. No, it's not no, okay

Yeah, so what's the difference between love enough for these fucking airbnbs? It's so difficult, right? Okay? We've done for now. Yeah, why don't you just hire a cuz we could somewhere for a month There's not a place in London. You can either month not near the school not near the school Okay, there is a place in London you can have for a month. Not near the school. Not near the school. Okay. There is a place in London, but if you hide it in West London, Yeah, you might. Yeah. Yeah, true behind in Central London.

You might be a bit late for school, but on time for work. Well, no, because I'd have had to go to school and then come back. So it would have actually been worse. Yeah. Okay. Well, anyway, so tired. I'm fucked. I haven't even got a t-shirt.

You just wearing Josh's. Romesh's... Romesh's... was it? The irony of you wearing a mental health charity jumper, topless, with your head in your hands, late for work, without a house or a kitchen in an FVMV. It's just fucking awful. With Romesh's little face on a penguin. And then I was like, I didn't feel well. I hadn't been feeling well. Yeah, you do sound right. I thought you were just hungover when you came in. Well, no, I'm not very well. It'd be a great episode if you start drinking again,

though, wouldn't it? I went to bed in... Obviously bad for you, but great for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good content. Yeah. I went to bed. Oh, I'll link that to the press,

come with me, Michael, get Rebecca Vardy to sell that to the Sun or someone. Well, they listen to this anyway, so if they want to print that... Josh is back on the drink. Yeah. And no, you're not, you're a bit tired. No, I'm not, I've got a really sore throat and I woke up 5 30 a.m. Yeah dripping with sweat and shivering right

There is something going around at the moment somebody happy to be locked in a little booth with you. I know well, there you go We've got to speak to dr. Chatterjee later I'd gone to bed because we've moved a load of stuff back into the house yesterday morning before the last night right we didn't have to do all today yeah so I only have one t-shirt I realized I went to bed in it and it was dripping with sweat so you just got a jumper on today I've just got a jumper on today. You've got a black jumper on and blue corduroy's yeah it's all I've got it's all I've got on me. I've never seen you in corduroy's before I know I know I got them and then I like your they're trainers, they're nice. Yeah well they're all I've got. Are they the freebies from the street leaf person? Yes. Okay because you had squeaky trainers someone was saying

of course Josh Whitacombs got squeaky trainers when he was doing some dancing. You are a squeaky trainer guy. I had squeaky Nykes. Squeaky Nykes and now you've got unsqueaky Adidas. Karen's boyfriend is high up at adidas, so he got me a load of adidas stuff. They're quite slippery on the pavement when it rains, those kind of sambas. Are they? Yeah, I've had trouble with them.

I'll take it up with him. Especially the gum, the gum sole. I've had too much sleep, you've not had enough. Our energy's off. I'm so fucked. How was the last leg? Long. Yeah.

Just so long. It'll be a good show, and the guests were great, but fuck me. As midnight approached I was thinking this is, this is not ideal. You don't do Last Link Live for B.E.Z.? No. No. Because we're not insane. And do you know who else doesn't do it live? Is that? Jules Holland. Correct. So take that up with the BBC. All of them. It's all bollocks. Yeah, it's all bollocks. And do you know what? GMB on Christmas morning. Yeah. That's not Christmas morning. No, because they asked me to go on it. Yeah, they asked me as well. I said one, no, because I don't

want people to think that I've left my children at home to go and fucking GMB like some sick head. Do you want to do promo on Christmas morning? It's the one time people don't buy stuff. It's literally too late. I've got the stuff I wanted or I'm scared. Yeah, exactly. Do you want to get tickets to Rob Beckett? Yeah, yeah, Merry Christmas. Do you want to come see me at the Playdome in 11, no, 13 months? I could be the first person to do Good Morning Britain, Christmas Day, Tiers in a Row promoting the same gig Rob just loves spending Christmas day with their balls. It's Balls in reading balls in reading Christmas day

So I was very angry at myself because I the taxi said it was gonna be on time Well this morning maps. Oh, yeah, so it said tax time to get in a taxi on time. This morning. So it said taxing. What time did it get in a taxi? 9.30 and it said 29 minutes. But you couldn't get the tube. That said 40 minutes. The tube? You've got to get to the tube. It's quicker to get the train from my house to London in that time. Yeah but the school is in a absolutely black spot. Why do you keep giving me loads of shit before I leave? Oh because it's fun. Yeah but you're just as far out as me by the sounds of things. It's easy to get into London and you... No, once I get back to my house in Victoria Park, it's bus to my land on the tube. You're in Central London.

A bus out of... Okay, fair enough. We've done this before. Yeah. I was parenting. I haven't done any. It's just been working. Have you had drugs?

No, not well. You sound like you're like, I'm really unwell. I woke up. Just been working. Have you had drugs? No, not well. You sound like you're like really unwell. I woke up. I'm going to have to put a shifty with Dr Chatterjee after this, aren't I? I fell asleep in the taxi here. Oh, Josh.

I'm just not in a great place. So I do apologise, but I'm trying my best. You know what? It's not good enough. I know. I'm joking. What else did you do at the weekend? You did Last Leg or? Oh, I bought Tom Crane for his 40th.

Yeah. Which was three years ago. Okay. Christmas dinner on a kind of a train. Okay. Because me and Rose went about four or five years ago. You might have to do that this year if your kitchen's not ready. And, um.

Okay. That was just a resigned. My nose went about four or five years ago. You might have to do that this year if your kitchen's not ready. Yeah. I know. Okay. I just thought. That was just a resigned. Do you know what? That was like, I'll be here, a cat. Do you know what it was I thought about? It's like, we get it back in our house.

Yeah. And then we got to fucking decorate it for Christmas. Like. Oh, you've not got a tree up or anything yet? Of course not. Oh. So it's like. I've never known anyone that's already been to Lapland

and hasn't got a tree up on the 10th of December. Well you're not going to put a tree up in an Airbnb are you? Well you're there for long enough, it's a week. Get a little one for Mark. Fuck it out. Why didn't you just get the kitchen down after Christmas? Because this was... when we could fit it in and also... Yeah, because it is... sounds like a perfect slot.

But it would have just been awful after Christmas. It's never been the time. The three weeks before Christmas to get your kitchen done is a bad time. It started in October. Jesus Christ. I'd suggest pre-Christmas when you have to record loads of extra stuff to get you over the Christmas holidays that you're going to go to Lapland, that you're going to be on Strictly Come Dancing, and you're gonna be doing the last leg. Well, it was booked in before Strictly. Yeah, I'm just saying, it seems from an outsider

quite a stressful time to get it done. I'm gonna say, I just wanted to get it done. Yeah, okay. And if I had this coming up in January and February, it'd be like, oh, what an awful start to the year. The first two months of the year is living in Air Previst. We might have been able to get an easier Airbnb because I imagine a lot of the Airbnbs are booked up

for people visiting over Christmas and going shopping. No, but it's not Christmas, it's been November. Well both, but you know, the whole time. There's not an influx of Airbnbs in January. I would say so. Okay, well we'll look. Ha ha ha! I'll have a little look now.

I'll have a little look now. Look, I'm looking for an Air B&B in East London. In Hackney. Oh no, now he's getting specific. Yeah, well that's where we're staying. Because we've got to get home for the pets, and we've got to get to the school so you can't be too far away. Absolutely not, no. It's just down-laden.

I'm hating life at the moment. I just hate it. Are you sleeping? If I get the chance. You can if you get the chance. Yeah, I'm sleeping like fucking great, but I'm only getting five or six hours. Okay, let's have a quick look here. You know what, when we got here today,

I was like, can I go on the internet? And they're like, yeah, but you need to find the thing. We're in like an office space and put in the wifi codes. They have this mad wifi code of capitals, zeros, for O's, exclamation marks, all this. And I put it in and then it went, oh, you need to have an account. I was like, all right, I thought I'd just done that.

So then I signed up for an account, put all my details in, name, address, I can be just like data harvested. And then he went, oh, you're signed up, here's your password. All right, the password is, right, this is for a place that I come once every three months. The password is, I don't know what,

I don't mind giving out my password. The password is, and I've got to remember this, make a note of it, it says, so next time I come here, I've got to put my email address in this password. Capital L, list seven, jacket five, shadow. I'll make a note of that. Where do you think I've got space in my head for that? Where do you think I've got space?

Go into my notes and go, passwords for the place you're supposed to. And you're not meant to write down your password. Oh no, absolutely not, no no heaven forbid a hacker got into this account and then came to this location and use their free Wi-Fi it would be awful wouldn't it fuck off right what else has been going on so Friday night did the last leg yeah I'll see you did last like Friday and Sunday yeah that's a lot of leg in it yeah too much Well, the Sunday one's a double length one as well. Double length leg? Yeah.

They're all really rubbing it in Adam and Alex's face, all this leg. Lovely one in Groombridge just popped up. Where the fuck's Groombridge? Well, that's like out of London, but I've got it quicker, even with it. Okay, Hackney. For the whole of January. A month in January Hackney London. There you go. Months one month. January the first, two first. There we go. Two adults, two children. You don't want to take your pets because you're gonna pop home. You can't take a cat to an Airbnb. There we go. Oh yeah, in Hackney. First one come up for a month. Entire apartment. I don't want to live in an apartment, we need a house. Well it's the size of a house, but it's an apartment.

Okay, let's have a look. There you go, for a whole month that is. Or if you want a house, there are more expensive ones to get a whole house, but there are absolutely loads for a whole month in January. I'll have full lists there. I could pick two already. That's too small.

Go down, there's one that's more money that's bigger. Fucking hell, I'm not paying that. Why is it in dollars? What's that because that is when I last used an Airbnb with Osbrood. Josh you've got to pay something for a flat. No I know. You're paying it weekly anyway. Where's the map? Maybe I'll do it. Hang on, hang on we've gone from you going, it's not possible to be showing you. And now you're but I genuinely stand by when we did our kitchen. So you know what I'm saying? If you did in January, it would be wanted.

We didn't like how our kitchen was. We hated the way it was all done. Yeah, we hated our sitting. I get you. So we wanted it done before Christmas, rather than living in this, it was really stressful because we didn't have the stories. It's massive shit now though, isn't it? No, it's not.

But you've got to go through that to get there, haven't you? Yeah, I know. Look, we can agree, disagree, disagree. I would suggest if it was me, I'd do it at the start of the year after Christmas. Well, yeah. Everyone knows Christmas is busy. But hey, you're you, I'm me.

Yeah exactly. Different lives. I'm just so fucked, I'm sorry. It's all right. Just so tired. At Mazda, we craft cars for those who choose to do more, then simply move. So choose joy, choose the road, and choose to get out there. Choose your calling. Choose to make memories. And choose more of what moves you. Mazda. Move and be moved.

That's me. I'm knocking at the door. Sephora's biggest fragrance sale of the year is on. Get 20% off full-size fragrance gifts, including designer scents like Valentino Donna, born in Roma. How did you know? 20% off floral scents like Burberry Her.

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That's not bad. It is. Marfyshaw, we used to work till like the 24th. I know, yeah, I know. But then you have been working every day, but... Yeah. You're all done? You got any any Christmasy stuff planned? I don't know. I haven't even started with my presents or anything. Oh really? Yeah just haven't done anything. Yeah. And I'm not well and I've got to go home and start tidying up the house and stuff and I just can't be

fucking bothered to be honest. What are you doing after this then? Going home to sort the house out before the kids come back Right, okay, and then you're in it now for good Yeah You're not going anywhere else No I'm sorry I'm in such a bad mood I've just fucking had enough I've just had enough of this

I've just Totally I'm not well I've been working till fucking midnight I've come home I just get the kids to school yeah like had to tidy up like sort out the Airbnb I've been ill overnight I then got in here and like I haven't had breakfast I haven't had a cup of tea I just wish I was fucking dead. And Ramesh Ranganathan's campaign against living miserable jumpers are a minor.

I haven't got a fucking t-shirt. I'm wearing... Well, lucky for you, it's Top Socks Monday. I'm the first person in history to wear cords and a hoodie. It's just so difficult. Right. Do you want me to tell you about what I've been doing that might make you feel better? Because I had a very stressful day yesterday.

I feel good today because I've had a good sleep. I was absolutely knackered yesterday. But I had a proper sleep. I would have been at nine o'clock last night because I was so tired. Didn't watch I'm a celeb, but we knew Danny from McFly was going to win. We said that. Right. Because it's McFly. Pointless really. One of the McFly was gonna win we said that right because it's McFly

Pointless really. One of the McFly blokes is hosting magic breakfast. Harry Judd. Harry Judd. You love it you love it Fucking love magic Christmas. How are you with magic Christmas on and your hoodie and cords falling asleep in a cab? And you know have I told you about this jigsaw situation? Jigsaw situation. So we've got this brilliant advent calendar that is so it's a full jigsaw Christmas jigsaw Yeah, each box is like 40 bits. So you do it right like together. So you do a little pack Are you moving that round the Airbnb? That's what for Rose We've got a jigsaw. I would have left that in the house and cracked on with it today, I think.

Yeah. So you've done 10 different days of jigsaw that you've moved around to different Airbnb's. Yeah, but the problem is, every morning my daughter wants to do it, so now I'm having to fit in 20 minutes jigsawing to the fucking... Well, the elf thing, my issue with the elf, the elf thing's fun, the elf that visits. Yes. But he's making my kids get up earlier because they want to see what he's done. So now there's an extra reason to get downstairs earlier. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you're jigsawing. Yeah, and we're adventing and all that kind of stuff. And we're listening to Christmas music, and that's lovely. Have you got an advent car? Yeah, but my kids just eat the chocolate, so I don't get it. Yeah, same.

Yeah. And Lou got me one that's got a different food in, and it's not surprising. What do you mean different food? Well, it's one from Fulton and Mason's, it's a fancy one, she Lou got me one that's got a different food in and it's not surprising. Different food? Well, it's one from Fulton and Mason's. It's a fancy one. She's got me a fancy one. Where in it's like a different jam or chutney,

but they just keep getting it. I go, we've got olive oil. And I go, oh, thanks. Yeah. It's no surprise. Lou's got a red wine one. Has she? She's not drinking it in the morning, is she?

No, at night, but she's keeping pace with it. Is she? Yeah, there's not. How much does she get? Only a little glass and a half type bottle, know when you get on a train. Yeah yeah yeah. So like a glass and a half maybe two glasses, put two small glasses. Normally you know with an advent like they build up. I'd say we're more likely to slip into tomorrow than have a build up from yesterday. It's been busy. So what you've been doing

Christmasy stuff you're saying? Well, we just do Christmas magic with Harry Jodd. I like Harry Jodd. He loves cricket. He says he loves cricket bats, buys loads of cricket bats. He actually came on my radio show on Radio 2 to talk about cricket bats. We didn't talk about McFly once, much to his enjoyment and the listeners' disgust. I know how to think about McFly. I said know questions about McFly, but he was fine with that. We spoke about Crooked Bats.

Yeah, nice. Just collects them. Have you got kids? Come on in, Darry, Judd, we've never had anyone. Judd Mann's got kids, I think. He goes running with Joel Dommet. Does he? Yeah.

What's that all about? Just some hot young guys up at a jog. Is that like a Southwest London thing? Yeah, there's a little bit of a Southwest London. Basically what it is, you get East London where everyone's sad and tired. Yeah. You guys then you come around to Bromley where everyone just goes on holiday. Everyone's a bit chubby. Yeah, everyone's just a bit chubby and goes on holiday.

Don't give a shit. See you later. Then you swing around Southwest. They're all super ripped and sexy. Yeah. You go jogging and camping and stuff. That's sort of the remit. And then get around to Northwest London, which is all the rich TV people. Yeah. Sort of Northeast sort of like a bit Essex. Oh, I London which is all the rich TV people. Yeah. Sort of North East sort of like a bit ethicsy. Oh I walked a dog the other day Rob. Okay.

Emily Dean's podcast. Oh yes. I walk her dog. But you're supposed to walk your dog. But you haven't got a dog. You haven't got a home at the moment. No exactly. Just a homeless man in a park. Homeless people have dogs. That's the thing isn't it? Yeah I can have a dog. You know what though? And this is why dogs are better than cats. Homeless people don't have cats today. They're like, fuck this, let's get me in a garden and slip in a back door. Let me tell you about the last leg on Friday.

Our neighbor texted us to say that she's seen the cat on the street locked out of the house at half eight before last leg. Okay, is your cat not allowed out? Yeah, there's no cat flap because they've redone the back. Right. She doesn't normally stay out at night. So she's locked in the house at the moment with a litter tray. Oh right, but she's snuck out.

But she's got out during the building. Oh, this is stressful. Yeah, so you've got this cat lingering around your head. Yeah, throughout the last leg, and then I think, I'm not going to be able to go on the festive train journey with this cat thing hanging over me. What was the festive train journey? Saturday. Oh, right, with Tom Crane. How was that?

It was an absolute joy. Oh, good. I'd say we were the youngest people by 50 years. I mean, you'd lost me at Jigsaw Ravent. Yeah, yeah. But you know what? That's it, you've got to whip the core droids out for those. I'd say the core droids are more honest than the hoodies.

Where does the train go? Norwich to Norwich. Fucking kill me. Lovely. The only way you could have made that worse was by saying Norwich at the end of Norwich. Norwich to London, right, whatever. Norwich to Norwich. You leave Norwich, you arrive in Norwich, but you've had to get to Norwich.

So you've had to get a train to Norwich. To get a train out of Norwich, back into Norwich, to get a train home from Norwich. Yeah, yeah. I love the train. Yeah. No, look at us. It's going to Tom. Yeah. No wonder it was three years. Well, there was four of us.

I've been busy at the moment, Josh, actually, if you go Norwich to Norwich Express. But it was fun, was it? Yeah, it was. It's just a long way to go to go to Norwich, isn't it? It is a long way to go to Norwich. It was nice. After the last leg, I thought I'm way to go to go to Norwich in it It is a way to snorridge. It was nice after the last leg. I thought I'm gonna have to go and try and find the cat Which was a mental decision? You're not making the right decision. No, I'm not

You left your inhaler at last no that was your own a spiral Was the right decision for the cold. Did you use it in Blackland? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He knew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big time, mate. Couldn't get enough of it. That wasn't the right decision of the cat, because I got back to the house. It was during a fucking storm. Oh, God. Yeah. Sarah. So I was like, what am I going to do? I'll just leave the front door open and sit in the hallway with some cat food, because what am I going to do? Oh, what time is it?

Midnight? Josh! After about 20 minutes I was like this is a fucking write-off. Yeah did the cat come back? No. Where did the cat go? So then I was just like I'll just have to go. I can't just sit in an empty hallway all night.

Also this is the main... Also they'll find a busher cat, they'll find... The main time a cat's out is midnight. It's an outdoor cat anyway. You don't know where the cat's up to. Normally it probably goes out the cat flap. I know, I know. So I went back home and then the next day Adrian the builder was like, oh yeah, the cat's here. Right, yeah. Oh Josh. You're making the wrong decision. You are. You've just got to go, I think I'm more vulnerable than that cat at

this moment in time. Do you know what I mean? The cat's probably come back to sit with you. She had to be right out Rob, thank you. You don't need to be doing that, the cat will be alright. I know. It'll find a bush, there's loads of cover, it's not like you're in the middle of an open plain in the countryside. Any storm damage? No storm damage, no.

We lost one roof tile. Did you? What does that mean? Do you have to get someone to come and put a roof tile on? Yeah, that's probably the plan, but it's just on the kitchen side at the moment I imagine we'll get bored of looking at it pop it in the bin. We'll forget about it And then at some point you're not gonna replace it with the same roof tile It'd be quite good to keep so they know where it was on the house cuz I don't know where it's come off

Oh, so you just got a rogue roof tile with no gap. Yeah. Well, we have got a gap somewhere But I can't see the gap from ground level. Oh, so I imagine about two years. We'll see a leak. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine. Yeah, that's what we're working with. We've still got the downstairs toilet locked because I need to fix a flush and I haven't done it. But I say, I haven't done it, I don't know how to. And it seems like too small a job for a plumber. You've got to get someone out. We've got to get a plumber. We keep asking the plumber.

Just get a guy out. It's such a small job though, do that in 20 minutes. Yeah, I know. There's just a lot on the list. Tell me about your mad weekend. Right so it was my daughter's birthday, ninth birthday. Oh yeah. We were having a pizza. Ninth fucking hell. Pizza at the swimming pool party and near the swimming pool is a Domino's and they do

them half price deals if you collect right stuff. I get a load of pizza from there. It's five minutes. To bring to the swimming pool. Yeah there's a little party room in there. Yeah yeah yeah yeah, classic. So we get there and it's quite stressful. We've been up since five because she was excited. Is this her actual birthday? On her actual birthday, five a.m. she's

been up, wants to see what the elf's done, wants to see her presence. We do presence. A party's linked to about one o'clock, but then by half-nine she went, is it my party time? And we're like, no, it's so far away. So we're out from five, it was so tight and we were like, look, girls, just play for a bit or it's too early, we need to get a bit of sleep. Then Lou tried to go back to sleep, but then I couldn't, so then I started watching UFC on my iPhone in bed next to Lou. And then they come in, the youngest one... Mason, where are they? ...outside their bedrooms upstairs, they play in that hallway, they've got some toys in

the hallway. So, they're playing there, they're not downstairs. And then the youngest comes and goes, stop unrespecting your daughter by watching the UFC on her birthday. I'm just waiting for Lou to wake up. So anyway, we went down there and got all packed up, and then it's like loads of stuff in the back. You have party bags, you've got balloons. The balloon starts deflating as soon as it hits the cold air, one of them helium balloons.

Get to the swimming pool. I put all the stuff in the room, ring Domino's. Hello, sorry we're not taking orders at the moment. I was like, oh, sorry, this is at half 11. I was like, oh, it's okay, we don't need it till like two o'clock. I just wanted to tell you that it was gonna be a big order. No, there's been a power cut, we're shut.

Oh no, oh no, oh no. Okay, so that's, yeah. I'm like, okay, just trying to work out what to do. And then I walk in and, about to tell Lou that there's no pizza for the pizza and pool party. And she says, there's no inflatables for the the this was big inflatable salt course on the pool it's like we hire out the you get it for an hour yeah and you get free rein in the pool yeah the inflator the thing that inflates the upper sole course is broken no inflatables oh no no inflatables or

pizza oh my god all the kids are queued up in costumes waiting to go in Yeah, what do you mean? Questions waiting to go into me waiting for to blow up So I thought they should be so you at the swimming pool place by this point Oh kids in swimming costumes being told there's no flables So then I was like all the parents there or is it just you to lose some they're out in that there's like a little Seating area that you see through into the pool, but not in the actual pool But yeah, just me and they're just dealing with it and then they're all like waiting to go in and zone flightable. So I was like, right. And then like, in my head, all of them, ultimately my head's going, party's ruined,

you've ruined your daughter's birthday, you should have checked, you're a waste of space, this is shit, your daughter's going to be upset, this is going to ruin, you know, all that negativity. And then like, oh, I'll get all stressed out like that. And in the end, the woman said there's loads of floats and there's quite a lot of floats. You know, like the big ones that about four kids can get on. there's about 10 of them, there was noodles, there was all that. Don't miss what, don't know what. She told us it's not happening in front of all the kids and like part of it, you sort

of want to have a round, I was like it's not gonna help. So I just went, girls, boys, do you want to get in the pool right now with the music on and all the floats? And they went, yeah! And I went, I can't hear you, do you want it? And they went, yeah! And then we like opened the gate, they, do you want it? And they went, yeah! And then we opened the gate, they were just running, they went mental for an hour, and had a brilliant time. So I was like, actually that wasn't too bad. Masonry And were you working on the pizza sitch at this point?

Fletcher Not at that point. I was trying to manage expectations in the pool before Lou. Because there was more girls than boys, so Lou was in there with the girls, sorting them out. But the boys had to take two seconds to get changed, and they're already in there. So Lou was in there with the girls. So then in the end I had to drive to get some pizzas. I've got a good picture of this actually. This was my car. I don't know if you've ever transported lots of pizzas before at once?

You ever done that? No, I haven't, no. How many kids was that? About 22 kids. Fucking hell, that's a party. It is a party, and you could have up to like 25, but I'm so glad she didn't, because we meant to.

iPhone's changed, and I don't know where to find it. I hate it. It's all too confusing, isn't it? It's like a computer desktop. It takes change. Oh, you went to Domino's anyway and you seatbelted them in? Seatbelted them in and heated seat. Those child ones aren't seatbelted in, are they? Yeah, that's survived. I went up and down hills for the countryside. Anyway, so I had to drive there and get it and drive back. Did that. Masonry Let's be honest. That's the sweet gig. Flippen I'd say so, but it wasn't sweet when there was no pizza shop open for a point.

Masonry No, once you know you've got a Domino's and you're leaving Lou in the park. Flippen I had a little bit of football commentary. Masonry Yeah, yeah. And you're just driving along with some pizzas in the seatbelt. Flippen Because also, as well, Lou was in the changing room when they were all coming out and the girls were brushing their hair and blow-drying and all sorts. They're at nine now, so some run out dripping wet with a t-shirt on, and some are blow-drying their hair. And Lou's like, just get in, they've only got 20 minutes to eat pizza. So, we got them in this party room,

and that was stressful, because I was in charge of giving out the pizza and sitting all the kids down, getting them drinks. Did you do seating at a table? They all sat around a big table, in a little room like this, really. So, there were 25 kids, it was loud, it was stressful. Anyway, I'm just eating out pizzas, and I bought a couple too many really. There was a couple of veggie ones that the kids weren't eating. It was pepperoni or margarita. Wish I'd come.

So I went out and put a pizza on a table. There were some dads there from the school, and then I put some pizza down on another table with what I thought was another parent from school. And I put some pizza, and I went, we've got a bit too much so help yourselves. The more parents started coming from school, I was like, fucking hell, I didn't expect this many parents, they were a bit early. They weren't enough, so I gave another pizza out there. Then I started running out of pizzas for the kids. I was like, what's going on here? And then I went and looked out there. And then my mate, Andy, went, there's a lot of people around there, are you sure they're all parents from school? I went, I think so. It weren't. It was just a book club. And about 30 people

around there were just crashing from the dominoes. Masonry So what about a swimming pool? Eddard Cunningham Wait, the swimming pool's got a library next to it. So basically outside the bit where you go into the pool. Masonry So what did they think was happening? Or did they know they were stealing pizza? Or did they... Eddard Cunningham They just thought I was giving out pizza. And in the end I went, I need to have them pizzas back Andy, because I ain't got enough.

So we went in and just went, oh yeah sorry we were running out for the kids and just grabbed a bag, so I just started feeding strangers, but I don't know who the parents are. They always send different people as well, don't they, to pies? At school it's a bit more like regimented, but at weekend it's like grandparents sometimes come so you're just handing these kids over and you just have to look at the kid and go, do you know that person? And they're like yeah, off you go. So I started feeding strangers.

Oh, that's good of you. Like Jesus. Oh no, I didn't want to. Like Jesus. They could have said, I fucking know, I went outside, 20 people just smashing pieces. So yeah, that was quite stressful. I've lost my wedding ring as well. How long, oh no, what happened?

I don't know, no idea where it is. I took no photos of the party. Did you take it off? Yeah, somewhere, I don't know where. No, I mean, do you take it off much? Yeah, to do my hair, but normally it's by like my sister. To do your hair? Yeah, so I don't get like waxing and grease on the ring and it's like, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I Yeah, somewhere, I don't know where. No, I mean, do you take it off? Yeah, to do my hair, but normally it's by like my...

To do your hair? Yeah, so I don't get like waxing and grease on the ring and it's like, well scratch my head because it's quite a bulky ring. Yeah. Yeah, so I don't know what that is. I took no photos of the party because it was so busy and stressful. I just took one of the pizzas in the car. And how long was the party?

They got an hour in the pool, 15 minutes to get changed on either side of the party and then half an hour to eat. But basically this was quite a small pool, it's like a local little leisure centre place, it's really little, so you get like the higher of the whole pool, so that was quite good. That's nice. They had the run of the place, so that was good. And they do it on a Sunday because the library in there shuts at like one o'clock, so it was quiet. But these people just, I don't know, I think what was happening was the pool was reopening again for like a swim club,

so they were in there smashing, I was like, fucking, they're going to have to go swimming. They're smashing. But then if I'm there and someone suddenly comes out and says, do you want some Domino's? I don't think there's any situation I'd say no. I know, yeah. Cause I kept on putting them out there. Cause I was like, well, I've got enough of the parents.

But I was like, there's so many more parents than I thought there was going to be. Yeah. And there weren't, they were just random members of the public in Bromley. Oh, so you don't know the parents. I do, but- But you're not going to be. They weren't. They were just random members of the public in Brobalea. So you don't know the parents? I do, but-

But you're not going to call someone and go, I don't think you're a parent. You're not- No, and also, so there's lots of new kids have started over the last couple of years and you're not across it fully. And also one of my daughters was in that COVID, so we didn't see as many of the parents. So yeah, a lot of new people have come and gone. And sometimes, weekends I find, you get a lot of people that I'm at the school gates quite a lot,

not loads, but like a fair amount, especially at the beginning before I started my tour. So I meet a lot of them there. So a lot of, like, if the mum does a lot of the school pickups, the dads do a lot of the parties at the weekends. So it'd be a lot of dads and stuff, or grandparents. But yeah, I knew most of them, but I didn't want to be rude.

Yeah. So was the party a success in the end yeah well she loved it I took her and shopping Saturday to get a party dress she got his like sparkly silver dress and a little pair of like small heels just yeah that is stressful they try to buy shoes in next with kids and also your big coat on and they give you their coats you just like dripping in sweat trying to find a little hole on a strap. It's painful. But no, she had a brilliant time, to be fair, it was really good. But I find it stressful though, because it's so much...

And then you've got another one next weekend. Yeah. That one's a bit easier. That one's a cinema party and then Pizza Express. But she's only got a couple... Do you not think it would have been easier to space out your daughter's births? Yes, yeah. Yeah, I fully agree. We shouldn't have had sex in March.

We talked about this at the time. Absolutely terrible decision. And me and Lou need to work on our sex life. So I'm not saying it's for the third one I'm not saying it's yeah, I'm very happy my sex. I think me and a very healthy sex off I'll just say that sometimes in marching will become overwhelming It's not that we only shag in March is we shag too much in March. Yeah, when those that she's off Welsh when those daffodils appear Tops come off. That's what I'm saying. The holidays are almost here, but Amazon still

has last minute deals. Like makeup for the beauty lover, electronics for the tech pro, and home goods for the host who was too busy hosting to shop. Shop last minute deals at Amazon now. As a Fizz member, you can look forward to free data, big savings on plans, and having your unused data roll over

to the following month, every month. At Fizz, you always get more for your money. Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply. Details at fizz.ca. Do you prefer shagging in spring? I feel like spring puts a pep in your step that encourages sexual activity.

I'd say December, I'm not that bothered. No, I just want to stay. With your mother-in-law next door. And your son in between you. I've had December, this time of year, very hard work and difficult and stressful because of the weather. And it gets incredibly busy in our jobs.

That's the only reason I was saying that the new year might have been a better time to do it. I would not get over with. Yeah, I know. Do you know what? But sometimes holding fire. No, because it would have just been awful in the new year. It was gonna be awful, whatever.

Yeah. You going away in the new year? No. You do it strictly in the new year? Oh yeah, I am. Okay. Are you? Are you?

No, you're not. No. You do it in double episodes of the last leg of the new year? Oh yeah I am. Okay. Full series? No you're not? No. You doing double episodes of The Last Leg of the New Year? You're fucking serious. You're doing all the corporates before Christmas in the new year? No but I'm doing loads of previews. Oh are you? Okay fair enough. Yeah I've got, I'm quite busy in the new year. When do you actually start the... Because I haven't gigged in two months. Can't imagine if you were gigging still. Yeah. Fucking hell, my best routines about Greg Wallace. What a fucking nightmare. I'm not saying, I just can't believe my luck. Three minutes on Inside the Factory.

I'd say, Josh, the Greg Wallace story isn't about you. No, I know. It's unfortunate. I've had that before with stories, you know. I've got some routines I've had to drop. I don't think I'm gonna drop it. I think I'm just gonna become an edgy comedian I remember I had a routine about Bruce Forsyth and it survived a whole tour did it all because it was

getting old at that point yeah yeah yeah it was about you know his stance yeah you know he's just do that and I was like did he work on other ones before do you like that that's too much just like that you know the show will be great don't need to worry about no I know but I know. But I'm off previewing in the new year. When is the tour starting? Autumn. But I mean, I've got my first previews booked in. Yeah, but take some time off.

You'd be better for it because... Oh, but I have taken a lot of time off from the old stand-up. No, but from busyness. Oh, that's never going to happen. Right. Have you seen my life? Yeah, but you need to take control of it and do a bit less, I think. As a friend, I think...

I know. The work that's creeping up. I haven't done much work in the last two months. Right, it's just life stress. I've done all the work I'm committed to do but haven't done any, do you know what I mean? I haven't thought about a stand-up in two months apart from when they break wallets story bro. That would be good for you though because you'll have a break and you can go and refresh. Yeah, I'm quite looking forward to it. Yeah. New Year, House done, House done. The house just feeling good.

We'll ask things. Lou told me off asking too many questions about the kitchen because it was stressing her out. Yeah, it was stressing me out. And someone came up to me on the tube and said it was stressing them out. Yeah. Is it possible that you arrive in the new year and the kitchen's still not done? We're not arriving in the new year.

No, the kitchen will be done. Well, it is possible, but I can't see it. Everything's possible. Dominoes had a power cut. Exactly, look, we're all victims of circumstance. When are the builders due to leave and say goodbye, have a nice Christmas, we'll finish your kitchen? Oh, next week. Next week? Not Adrian, but the kitchen builders. Adrian's not doing the kitchen.

So what's he doing? He's doing the bathroom upstairs. So that'll still be going on? No, that'll be done. That'll be done as well? In the new year he's going to paint my daughter's room and a couple of other little jobs like that. We're getting a carpet put on the stairs. Yeah, so it's a nice fresh new year. All the building work's done apart from the new carpet in the stairs, all the painting and all the bedrooms and a little bit of carpentry. Perfect. Yeah, yeah. It's good to get it all done before. Just quite relaxing having Adrian there. Yeah, just keep moving kids around the rooms all the time with paint dry and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty quite nice.

It's a really interesting one, because we moved before Rose gave birth, and we thought that was a really good decision. And it was, in the sense of Moving house when you've just had a baby. Yes be fucking awful But it did mean that when we moved in we got the house done with no knowledge of what a life as a family is Like yeah, I mean I would say because your house is beautiful bills. It was not designed for children No, but now it will be yeah exactly get it all nice and ready for the people that move into it next year when you move on. They're not moving, I can tell you that for sure. So, parenting wise, Rob, we've discussed that I think my daughter's come to the end of believing in the big man. She did her Christmas

list. Some of them are a bit... Magic Powers was one of them. She wants Magic Powers. I think that, to me, is a tester on Father Christmas. Yeah, but in the story of Father Christmas, it's never, ever been suggested that he can make you invisible. No, I don't. Do you know what I mean? No, I don't.

That's not like, but she's asked for something that's never been promised. I know. I think one of my problems with the story of Father Christmas is that in the modern world, of Father Christmas. In the modern world there's a bit of a disconnect between the elves making the toys and the toys not being the kind of toys that elves make that you get from Father Christmas. Because they come like, you know, you get a games console or what. Like an iPad? Yeah, an iPad. An elves made an iPad? It's gone to a Chinese factory? Elbowed an eight-year-old? I don't know what we're believing. Are we believing that the elves are making and boxing up the

iPad? I think details are the enemy. Do you? Yeah. That's your approach to life. Yeah, details are the enemy. Let's just say for example the elves, if they don't make it they'll go and collect them from the shop. Oh, is that how it works?

Yeah, I think it's more the organisation, the package, just like a DPD. O'Reilly And so how does it work with, are the elves paying? Are they buying an iPad? Lewis And I think Father Christmas is his own private line of credit with most stores. O'Reilly Yeah, he's getting them at cost price. Lewis Because obviously he's paid by Coca-Cola to use his image, right? O'Reilly Of course, yeah.

Lewis He's earning that. O'Reilly Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lewis He's probably starting drinking Prime soon. O'Reilly Yeah. Lewis Just hold a little Prime on the side. The finances, I should go to his company's house. Have a look how he's doing. Good old Snoop. Because the finances are being fought.

Mrs. Claus, 49% classic. But yeah, so I think what I would say, though, for your daughter at the moment, she's basically living in a series of different Airbnbs with no Christmas decorations up. Her dad's not home because he's sat in a hallway with a door open trying to feed a cat that's not there. I'd say at the moment, now you're in. She's looking for magic somewhere.

She's looking for magic somewhere and it's hard. She does get magic radio. Yeah, of course. But I think when she's in her own home and and your tree's up and it's Christmassy, and you've got loads of time, and I've been giving you back, it's still only what, the 10th of December? It's like two weeks until Christmas. You've got two weeks of tree art, decorations, music, mint supplies, getting cosy. Oh yeah.

Because Christmas is more of a feeling. Exactly, and the house will be in a state that it's just going to be beautiful. Yeah. Well Christmas is more of a, it's not really about presents, it's more of a feeling of being cosy and safe and with people you love. That is what's going to happen now that you're back in. So it'll be you, Rose, your son, Adrian, do you know what I mean? All you guys together as a unit getting Christmassy. Getting Christmassy.

Have you got any, are you taking? All sleeping in the same bed. Have you got any Christmassy things, I know you did that, Land, but you got any Christmassy. Have you got any, are you taking? All sleeping in the same bed. Have you got any Christmassy thing, I know you did that, Land, but you got any Christmassy stuff lined up like to do with them or anything? Ice skating or? Yeah, we're going ice skating. Panto? They went to Panto as school.

Oh nice. Yeah, yeah. So that's good, yeah, I think once they're- We've got the Christmas concert tomorrow. What, at school? Yeah. Oh, we've got something in a church, a choir concert. Oh nice.

It's apparently freezing in the church. We always do the church one on the Christmas Eve even though we're not religious and I feel a bit bad about it. We've never done that No, this is like the school do a choir and the church let them use it It's not religious because there's a church on our street and they'll do like a carol concert. Oh, that's good That's Christmas Eve afternoon. Yeah, it's lovely. That's very nice. Yeah, I do feel a guilt That might if I'm in a church the last person feeling good with me I Look around These walls could so if he's staying glass windows is

Popping to life and give us a little recap. What's going on in here and over that for 500 years I'm not feeling guilt today, son. I'm a little sing song and I'm inspired Give me that bread of heaven and I'll fuck off But what bread of heaven bread of heaven bread of. Give me that bread of heaven and I'll fuck off. That what? Bread of heaven? Bread of heaven. Bread of heaven. Bread of heaven. Is it bread of heaven? You have to cue out your tongue out. Alright mate, fuck it now. That's Catholic, isn't it? Who knows? It's all the same one, isn't it? Well, yeah. It's all the same. It's all the same offshoot, isn't it? Yeah. If Christianity's podcasts. Yeah. Me and you and Off Menu. It's all the same sort of thing, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. There's Food House,

there's Kids. They should have put you into Ireland in the 70s and 80s to sort it out. Come on, guys. Come on, guys. It's all the bloody same. It's all a much of a much, isn't it? Let's get around a bloody table, have some Bread of Heaven, if that's what it's called. It's not.

Is it? What is it called? Body of Christ. What's Bread of Heaven? It's a song. It's like. Ha ha ha The disdain in your voice. It's a song. It's a Welsh song. Is it? Is it the Welsh National Anthem?

Well what is it they give you there? Body of Christ? Bread of Heaven's better though, isn't it? I'd be up for Bread of Heaven. Stop saying Bread of Heaven! Have a bit of Bread of Heaven. Stop saying it! Well that is the same as Body of Christ. What's that put in your mouth? I've never been... I'm not Catholic. I'm not either, but I've been to a few different ones. Oh, well not, I went to a funeral once, they

got out a little bit of Smokey Pot. That's Catholic. Right. What's the Smokey Pot? I don't know. And they do a lot of Latin in Catholic. Yeah. They'll do what? Is it a church of England that only exists because King Henry VIII wanted to get divorced? I think that's the gist. That's got to be the B-ague one, isn't it? If someone just literally went, right, let's redo this. Well, but it's like, I suppose, like, you know... It's like a conservatory without planning permission, isn't it? It's MK Don's.

It's MK Don's. It's like a real Wim Wooden, isn't it? It's not a crazy gang, is it? MK Don's. But I think people find it a bit more chilled. Right, than Smokey Pot. Than Smokey Pot. Yeah. Smokey Pot's long, isn't it? Because the thing is, I can see why you get into religion. I went to a Catholic wedding. Oh yeah, they're long old weddings. So it's more like Coke Zero. Church of England. It's almost the same, but just streamlined a bit so

that you're not there too long. Yeah, there's less guilt, I think. What's confession? Catholic. Yeah, there's less guilt I think. What's confession? Catholic. Yeah, there's a lot of, a lot of add-on packs, downloadable content, DLC packs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay, I get you. You're not religious at all are you, Rose? No, no. No, we're not either. But not, I'm not anti it. I'm not anti it. I'm just not in it. Just, I'm. Same with me, McFly and God. You McFly and God. I know it's knocking around but. The Holy Trinity. Yeah, and it seems popular, they keep winning the jungle. I know it's knocking around, but. The Holy Trinity. Yeah, and it seems popular. They keep winning the jungle. Yeah.

God's popular. Do you think God's as popular as McFly these days? Depends on the demographic. Richard Colston, when did he? The power of God couldn't third place. He lost to a Rooney and a McFly-in. How did Colleen Rooney do? Really well, actually.

She came across really well. She's obviously absolutely minted because she's with Wayne Rooney, but she's very normal and you can tell that even though she's got a lot of money and a big house, they're both very working class and earning money does not change your class. It changes the things you have access to. Their kids may be different, but those two have still got the same working class sensibilities and want to take them to things and she's just normal, nice and quiet and what was was good, I thought, was you could tell that she's not this Queen Bee, I'm in charge of the WAGs, mean girl that she's been portrayed to be.

And she's been portrayed to be like. Slightly. And that's what Becky Vardy's sort of issue with her. It feels very much like she is the most famous WAG because her husband was a captain of England and one of England's best players So that made her more prominent in the press because they were famous Well and the Rebecca Vardy thing But when the Rebecca Vardy thing it was pitched as these two wags fighting for it wasn't really as Rebecca Colleen was there and Rebecca Vardy wanted to be as famous as her so it was sort of it felt like

Using her to get a platform Right, whereas Colleen didn't want any part of that. No has Rebecca Vardy been in the jungle? Yes, she did it a few years back. And how did she come across? Not as well as Colleen. Right. She came across fine, but not... Colleen went further. Yeah. I love educating you on culture. Culture? Yeah. Pop culture? Yeah. Well, still between that and religion. I know who came round up in every single I'm a celeb. And you know bread of heaven's not. Okay, I'm gonna give you- Try and list the winners.

Yeah. There'll be 24 winners. Is that right? Would I'm a celebrity be your mastermind subject? Yeah, actually, that's quite a good show. Yeah, I'd probably have to do a bit of research and about pick that. That'd be quite a good one to pick.

The problem with mastermind is I'm not very good at details and facts. So I couldn't tell you what year they won, but I'd pick that. That'd be quite a good one to pick. The problem with Mastermind is I'm not very good at details and facts, so I couldn't tell you what year they won, but I might be able to tell you the winners. Okay, here we go. Okay, you got the list of winners? Series overview, here we go. Okay. Okay. 2002.

Well, I'm going to give you all the winners I can think of, and you tell me yes and no, right? Okay, cool. I've got to get 24, yeah? If you say so. Tony Blackburn. He won the first one. Yep. So Tony Blackburn, then we'll do the McFly boys.

So Dougie Poynter and Danny Jones. Dougie Poynter. Danny Jones won. Carl Fogarty won. Where's the Dougie Poynter hasn't won. Yes, he has. He won in 2011. Thank you.

Carl Fogarty won. Yeah, Carl Fogarty won. Is he a motorbiker? Yeah, motor Fogarty. Is he a motorbiker? Yeah, motorbiker. Then we've had Stacey Solomon, Joe Swash and Scarlett from Goggle Walks. Scarlett, Stacey Solomon, Joe Swash, yep. Vicki Patterson. Who's that? From Geordie Shaw, she won it.

Did she? I think. Oh dear. No. She did, 2015. Thank you. Right, oh, it's just getting harder now. How many have I got? Oh dear. She did, 2015. Thank you. Right, oh, it's just getting harder now. How many have I got?

You've got about seven or eight. Giovanna Fletcher. I always forget the shit castle ones. Yeah, Giovanna Fletcher won it. There's a couple. Oh, and I'm struggling now. And I'm gonna go back. Okay, do you want me to give you some clues?

Keir Negan, Westlife. Yeah, he won it. God. The old, the... Fucking hell, Rob. This is mad. That was a. Yep, he won it. The old, uh. Fucking hell, Rob. This is, this is mad. That was a good one, wasn't it? Um, trying to think. I don't think Mark Wright won it.

I think he came second to Dougie Pointer. He did, fucking hell. Jesus Christ. Right, let's go back now, because there's some really old ones. Yeah. I'm struggling now, to be honest. How many is that, 10? 10? Yeah? Yeah so the old ones you haven't got, you've only got Tony Blackburn

of the first seven. Yeah that was more, I was a bit, yeah. Do you want me to tell you their jobs? Yeah give me their jobs. Cricketer? Phil Tufnell? Correct. Yeah this is a good one. Singer? That's sounding so broad isn't it? From a girl band. Oh god. But she's transcended that and become a tabloid fodder. No who's that one? Kerry Katona. Kerry Katona? God that was years ago. She beat Jenny Bond and Peter Andre. Of course she did. Old school entertainer. Not Bradley Walsh. Shane Richey. No. Oh Pasquale. Yeah. Shit! Daughter of Prime Minister. Daughter of Prime Minister? She won that.

Thatcher's daughter. Carol Thatcher. Yeah. Yeah, she won it. Carol Thatcher, yeah, that is. So if it's not McFly, it's... Busted, so it would have been Matt Willis. Yeah. Pantomime Dame.

Christopher Biggins. Yeah. Italian chef. Gino D'Campo. Yeah, of course. I don't know who this is. Oh, EastEnders. Oh, I know. Jacqueline Jossa. No, but she did win it. She pushed Barry off a cliff. Oh, of course. I was actually there when she won it. Janine from EastEnders. What's her name? Oh, this is embarrassing. Is this good podcasting? I think you've done them all apart from Women Footballer. Oh, Jill Scott, obviously, yeah.

The one who won it last year I've never heard of. TV personality, it says. Oh, God, yeah. Who was that? I think he's got a podcast with Pete Wicks. Oh, Sam Thompson won it last year, yeah. And then Harry Radnap. Radnap, yeah. Oh yeah, I should have done better at that. I think I'll do that mastermind.

Should I do mastermind for Armyselv and just research it and practice? Yeah, but I don't think it'll be bothered because you have to go to Belfast to do it. No, no, no, not for me, no. Right, should we do a small business shout out? Small B. Hi, Rob and Josh. I would love it if you could give my best mate Katie and Si's new business a shout out please. Inspired by their daughter's beautiful drawings,

they have set up the sweetest business, creating personalized handcrafted wooden keepsakes. They take any drawing or writing and craft them into quality wooden gifts such as ornaments and chopping boards. You can find them on Instagram at Cherished Carvings or www.cherishedcarvings.com. They'll make the perfect gift

or stocking fillers this Christmas. And I'm so proud of them. We are all long time listeners of the show. Thanks for the laughs. That's Ilsa. My daughter handed me night before a party a note saying daddy I'm scared and nervous in case nobody comes to my party.

Oh my God, that's brutal. Oh my God, let me tell you this. What, go on. So my son's three, so he didn't that's brutal. Oh my god, let me tell you this. Go on. So my son's three so he didn't realise how brutal this is. Yeah, what'd he say? He bought presents for his teachers, like in nursery, when we went to Lapland. My daughter, she bought like stuffed huskies for her friends. And he bought a stuffed reindeer for his best friend at nursery. Then I went to pick him up, he still had it, and I was like, oh did he not want it?

And he was like, no he didn't like it. And I was like, oh my god. But he didn't think to him. Yeah, he didn't like it. He didn't like it. Fair enough. But to me, that is awful. Yeah. Imagine you've brought someone a present back from holiday and they go, don't like it. But to me, that is awful. Imagine you've brought someone a present back from holiday

and they go, don't like it. Yeah, but then you say, oh thanks. Mad as shit that he must have in his house, he don't like as well. That's kids. That's kids. Hello, my partner runs a football academy from the ages of two to 12. We're based in a small town called Canvey Island in Essex.

Do you know Canvey Island? By the way, yeah. Our sessions are every Saturday and are only four pounds per child. He is a primary school PE teacher and wished he had accessible football coaching when he was younger, so created Tiny Tekkers for children nowadays to love.

All coaches, DBS checked, registered with the FA and up to date with all badges. We have a Facebook page, Concord Rangers Academy featuring Tiny Tekkers, T-E-K-K-E-R-S, which you can contact us on to get booked in. Stay sexy and relatable, Maisie, 270 months. Nice. Thank you very much, Canvey Island Football Academy. Josh, I'll see you next week. Get yourself a little bit of sleep. I feel like a bit better.

I hope I wasn't too harsh on you. I needed it. Well, part of me thought, oh, this will be funny, because it would wind Josh up, but then you look really sad so we eased off and then we hit denial, then there was anger, but I think we've come around to evoke and I'll get a tea because we've got to speak to Dr Chatterjee. I'll ask him how much sleep I need. Why do I feel so sad? What's your doctor in? GP. Perfect. I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Doherty. And we'd like to invite you to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday?

It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it max. I'm still not sure where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really downplaying it. Like what did you do yesterday? Like I'm just I'm just a guy just asking a question But do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm gonna going to try and make it like it

is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? That's too much, isn't it? That is. That's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.