Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S9 EP41: Observations from a tired man with an ill family

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... Small business shout-outs; Pigg & Bell HERE Spectrum HERE Please follow and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener,

with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. ["Jingle Bells"] Miller Lite, the light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer and the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Lite set out to brew a Light beer,

they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tastes like Miller time. Learn more at MillerLite.ca. Must be legal drinking age. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Rosie, can you say Rob Beckett?

Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Whittaker? Josh Whittaker. Good job, well done. Rosie's gonna be CEO, isn't she? She's not messing about. It's good that, isn't it? Unless you say she's nine. She's gonna be CEO, isn't she? She's not messing about. It's good that. Unless you say she's nine.

She's three tomorrow. Excellent work. At the time of recording, she was three, four days ago. Yeah. So presumably this is going out tomorrow. Yeah. Five days ago. In this modern world, you do have to say when that was recorded, at time of recording is

quite key, especially with turns of phrases. Yes, of course, particularly with how old a child is, because this might have been recorded in 1947. Well, of course, on some very advanced equipment that, you know, it was around in those days and times move fast. Josh, I'm terrified of being that like old dad that says the wrong thing, but we will be that old person that says the wrong thing, because that's just how time works. And then you have to make effort to be aware of what the right terminology is rather than bury your head in the sand. However, I'd want to

come out of nowhere the other day, I was doing a charity gig. I was in a charity gig for the Gaza. Yeah, I was gonna do that. Yep, you pulled out like one sniff of a ceasefire, you give up on the gig. Well, we'll come to it. You should not have, it would have been unfair on everyone else to bring your lurgy to that gig. Also, let's be honest, Harry Hill's an upgrade.

I'd rather watch him than me. It was a really good gig. However, obviously it's like for a very important cause and it's horrific what's going on over in the Middle East. But I'm not very good at saying the right thing at the right time. And I'd say as well, I was a bit nervous. There's someone we both know actually, is Cypriot. And I went, oh, you Greek or Turkish Cypriot?

She said, because she's younger, she was like, I just prefer the term Cypriot. I was like, oh. And I was like, well, but my Turkish Cypriot mate is very keen to tell me immediately. And everyone that he's Turkish Cypriot. So I don't know. I thought it was okay to go Greek Cypriot or Turkish Cypriot, but apparently it's just, you're just Cypriot. And I, and now from now on, when someone that says they're from Cyprus, I shut up. Yeah. I said, I bet the olive oil was good there, innit?

Exactly. Because it is. And that is a stereotype we're allowed to do. It is, isn't it? It is, isn't it? It is, isn't it? Oranges are nice and civil, that's fine. That's fine.

That's not a stereotype, that's a fact. Yeah. Go on. This is Rosie. She's three, five days ago. You may also hear my son, Freddie, groaning in the background. He's four months.

He was in and out of hospital with severe reflux for a while, which has been pretty testing and your podcast helped keep me smiling when shuttling back and forth in the car. Now we're back home. I'm enjoying listening whilst on my daily walk. Despite you saying you're boring bastards, I so enjoy listening. Keep it going. Lucy, Justin, Rosie, Freddie and Frank the dog from East Grinstead in Sussex. Oh, lovely. Well, do you know what? I think we're reassuringly there. We're white bread.

Exactly. We are hovists. We are, you know what you're getting. We're here for you. Every week, twice a week on the dot, never fuck about, bang one out at Christmas. Cause that annoys me that two week gap when people don't do podcasts. We're there mate on the front line, 27th of December knocking them out. Exactly. Come on. Do we do best-ofs? Sometimes. Well, you've got to...

Sometimes people want a best-of. No, they don't. That's what I was about to say. No one ever wants a best-of. That's what I was about to say. No one ever wants a best-of. No one. We limit the best-ofs. We are quite... We don't have season breaks. We just want the odd

best-of to link it when we are away. And let's be honest, no one wants them. Michael doesn't want to make them. No one wants to listen to them. And what I resent is me and you are drafted back in to repeat them and re-record them. To repeat them, yeah, exactly, to re-record them. We don't even cut it. I don't know if you know this.

We don't even cut it out the old episode. We come back into the booth. Do it as live. As live. Every time you listen. Tell me about that traffic light that doesn't turn green. Surely that shit didn't make the best of did it? That's what you hear. Michael? Are they sure? Hey Jude? Yeah, they do.

Do really well. Do they? Oh, I should take it back. Love doing the love commenting. Good stuff actually. Yeah. But you do need sometimes. Anyway, Josh, you've had a nightmare week. Let's talk about your week. We left you with an ill family, your wife and two children were off school ill. And then Oh my god, the last seven days have been so bad. I wouldn't. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy Rob. Who is your worst enemy? Can you remind me? Mark Lamar.

Mark Lamar. Mart La Mar. Mart La Mar. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I wouldn't be Sean Martin. So. Still a bit ill. Yeah. So let's go back to a week last Friday. My son got ill. Yeah. So we spoke. When did we spoke?

Monday. Monday. Yes. So he was ill over the weekend. Yeah. Couldn't go monster trucks. Couldn't go monster trucks. Rose gets ill on what, the Sunday or something? Couldn't go to Paris. Monday, my daughter is turning in a temperature, but she's probably okay. So I'm just basically do this podcast.

I'll just look after the house. Yeah. Rose's mum is here. Yeah. Rose's mum makes, it's a difficult decision. It's a similar to kind of Dominic Cummings style decision she's got to make. Yeah. Does she stand help or does she go away and survive?

Does she stand help or, but her other worry is go away, get it and then be on her own when she gets it. Right. Yep. Do you know what I mean? Part of her's like, I'm already got this. Because this is this horrendous flu that people get that is horrific, that sort of feels quite a lot like COVID, but no one wants to call it COVID because... We tested it, it isn't COVID.

It's got a COVID vibe. It's got a COVID vibe. Do you know what I mean? You know when a new band comes out, because it's got an Arctic Monkeys energy. This flu's got a COVID energy. So me and Rose's mum, mum Sam are looking after the family really Rose's fucked on Monday, Tuesday. Rose's mum decided to do? Stays. Did you get ill?

Well, we'll play out the week for you. Sorry, I'm running ahead. You're running ahead. I'm on eviction night already. Exactly. Let's just let day one happen. Monday, I thought what are we looking at here? A couple of days, getting back into school on Wednesday.

So I've lost Monday and Tuesday, fine. Cancel a few gigs? Yeah. Well, I didn't cancel. I did my gig on Tuesday night. Oh, God. So you felt okay on Tuesday? I was fine.

So it would have been canceling a gig because my kids are ill, which I think is a little rich. Understandable, but it throws his mums there to help. Why not? Yeah, exactly. Go out and give him some fucking observations. Give him some observations for a tired man with an ill family. Exactly.

So go out, smash out 75 minutes of obsos. Oh, you're not lucky. You're not messing about. You're not ready for this tour. You're not ready for this planning tour. Yeah, yeah. And then come home. Can I hear an angle grinder?

Yep. Is that not your house? That's someone else. That then come home. Can I hear an angle grinder? Yeah. Is that not your house? That's someone else? That's someone else. That guy has been angle grinding. He must do it from home. He must have a business angle grinding from home on a Monday morning. And I don't understand why he's angle grinding every Monday morning. Don't you take it to a site? He's like, I think he does it for about five minutes every Monday morning, about 10, and

then never again. I know it's so weird. It goes okay. If it's you, if you live... Near a telly walk to his house. Yeah. I can identify what street it's on. I'm not going to say what street it's on. I was going to, I'm not even to say stop doing it, but just how curious it goes.

I'll be honest with you, mate, me and my mate, and quite a few hundred thousand people are quite interested in your Monday morning angle grind, me too. There's bouldering on millions of people a week. Just want to know what you're grinding, boy. So. Sorry. He's angle grind. It's quite a far you're grinding boy. So sorry, he's angle. Far distance angle grind. Yeah, I've got a good

ear for it. Yeah. So on Tuesday night, it's annoying in that not much we can do. There's nothing you can do. We'll be in a studio before you know it. Is there anything I can do? Double glazes window? Not in the immediate. You could probably soundproof that window if you're long-term gonna use that room. Yeah.

That wouldn't be a bad idea. Yeah, that would be a good idea. Or scream out your window, what are you fucking angle grinding again? What is wrong with you? And he'll go, why have you still got a scaffold up if you was just doing a kitchen? We haven't.

I drove past it Thursday night and there's none on the front. Yeah, it came down on Friday. Did it? The last day of the scaffold I saw. Last day of the scaffold. He saw it. I did see it. Why the fuck is it on the front? Oh, because they, um, they were painting the window frames were needed redoing. Absolutely. Yeah. I normally get the front of the house window frames done when I'm getting my

kitchen refurbished. You what? It's a whole house renovation. It's a whole house renovation. Yeah. Still going. Still ongoing. Nearly in Feb.

Yep. So, not much done last week due to- I'm the worst person to talk to about all this. No, it's fine. Sorry, go on, carry on. So you've done the gig. Not much done last week due to- I'm the worst person to talk to about all this. No, it's fine. So go on, carry on straight, yeah. So you've done the gig. To Tuesday, my son's still showing up temperatures.

12.30pm or am, whatever it is, half midnight. It depends, the nighttime one, yeah. Yeah. He hits 41 and he's looking awful. Oh, that's very high for a little kid. Yeah, so we're like, I'm going to take him in. Yeah. What's a rose? That's hospital. Yeah. So we went into A&E. Does he have any asthma like you have?

No. No, okay. Cool. Bit of a weight. Yep. Got half, you know, stuff, the antibiotics. So what time, how long was you there? Put it this way, when we got in the Uber home, I had the start of capital breakfast. Oh no, an all nighter. What's that 6.30? Six. Six. Six. Fucking fair play to Jordan North. When I heard him come on at 6am, I

thought, I've done one your life. I want to know what's in there T. Chris Stark, Sean Welby, Jordan North, how can you fucking care? How? Why? Why do that to yourself? You've got to, I do think these breakfast radio DJs, they'll get to 65 and something will just go off in their head. You can't do that to your body for 10 years. You can't. You can't remain sane. They get addicted to it. So. So you've been there all night, basically?

All night. Has he slept on your arms? Luckily he's slept on me. Yeah. So he's slept on all night basically all night Yeah They're awake, yeah, just set away look at my phone put headphones in podcast didn't have my headphones. Oh Just reading stuff on my phone Like there's not enough to read at that time cuz I think news coming in nothing news coming in Yeah, oh, fucking hell. So then I go back to bed till about 11.

Yeah. Obviously Adrian knocks the door at eight. So I have to let him in at eight. I'm getting ill by this point. You can tell. Yeah. Yeah. It's coming.

Yeah. So Wednesday I'm ill. So what have you had to cancel work-wise? Some stuff that's like a meeting or whatever, which is fine. It's quite easy to move. And the gig on Thursday night. And the gig on Thursday night and a preview on Thursday night. I was doing two gigs on Thursday night. Good decision to cancel that. Yeah. So Wednesday, we're all ill. Just horrific. It's really bad. Like all of us ill. Because no one's got any energy to do it. You need one full beans. Bear in mind, Rob, we had three days of them back at school before this happened.

My kids were desperate to get back to school after Christmas. We've had three days of our kids being at school since before Christmas, since the middle of December or whenever it is. We were in an Airbnb. You were staying in an Airbnb then, weren't you? Since we moved back to the house, we've had three days of our kids being back at school. I get so ill, it's horrific. So on Thursday, my lungs just, it goes to my lungs. So I have to go into A&E.

What? You're in it to the next day, the same day or the next day? I know, I must have gotten the night's one. I think I must have taken him in on Monday night. I went in on Thursday day. Right, okay. What was so bad? I've had this before, haven't I? That when I get flu really badly,

it can go to my lungs cause they're asthmatic and they get really weak and I can't, and with it, venting makes no difference. My breathing's crap. Okay. So I have to go in and go onto a, um, respirator thing. Yes. Call it, uh, whatever it's called. Yes, call whatever is called nebulizer. Can I suggest something? Is it worth you invest in your own nebulizer? No, I don't think so. No, I don't think so. So I go in. Yeah. Shout out to Dr. Dr. Ned who listens to the podcast Dr. Ned respects her name Ned. No,

his first name is Ned. He said hi hi I'm Ned. He wasn't wearing a doctor's outfit as well. What was he wearing? He was just wearing like his civvies. First I just thought a bloke had come up to me. Can I guess desert boots, trousers and an Oxford shirt tucked in? Brown belt? Not far off, not far off. I think it was a checkered shirt.

Ah, good old Ned. Yeah, he listens to the show and he also said that it was him who did me two years ago on The Old Nebulizer. Oh, was it? It's The Old Nebulizer reunion. I should have said Nedulizer. That would have been... If I'd thought of that then. Nedulizer! Oh, heartbreak. You're too ill. That's why you have to go to The Nedulizer. So isn't Dr. Ned a woman

or a man? Man. Right, okay. And he said, and he said he was in when I had my appendix out as well. Oh, this guy is your private doc. Private doc. Anyway, so I'm on these things, right? So how long are you on the nebulizer for? Is it like a 10 minutes?

Oh no. Really? Do you want me to send you a photo of me on the nebulizer, on the Ned? So it's not like you have to go on it for two hours to get your lungs back up. It's sort of injects medicine into your lung to deal with the flu. No, it's just, you know, it's just a better way of taking Ventolin. They'll make it work. But so intravenous antibiotics basically for your lungs.

No, no, no. It's just still Ventolin. It's still Ventolin. It opens up your lungs and your breathing and your lungs. No, no, no, it's just still venting. It's still venting. It opens up your lungs and your breathing in your pathways. It's like, I think so. Yeah, probably. I've sent you a little video. It's the kind of thing you'd say to me. He's Nedding it. No. Oh, your little ears. Are you supposed to take your glasses off for it to form a seal around your nose? Josh, you look... I know you're ill, but you look real.

I've just spilled some tea. One sec, one sec. You're right, you've got cross-eyed. Your ears are folded down. The Nebbyl eyes have masks not even on properly. Oh, bless you. You can see it in people's eyes when they're sad and ill. Well, stick that, stick that on. It's all content though, whole content though, and it yeah. Next time you get a big thumbs up of Ned. Yeah, I will do next in two years in two years. Then, um, for the nigerlizer,

so I'm still loving that. Everyone's off all week said none of them going to school all week Friday, they're still off. Yeah, we're all still ill it's just good going on and on and on and on are you and you on antibiotics or just steroids yeah antibiotics it's right about it she's just riding it out Rose is on antibiotics because she's rattling around the house my daughter's the only one that doesn't go on them right so on Friday night I go bed and I just can't sleep. Right. I'm just lying there.

And I'm like, oh, I remember Dr. Ned said that the steroids can make you quite awake. Right, quite awake. See, it's a strange medical term. He didn't say that. Quite awake. Yeah, they just don't sleep. Just let me start a fix.

You'll be quite awake. Sorry, can you explain what that means? No, he actually said take the steroids in the morning because they'll give you an energy boost, right? Because what they are, don't take them before you go to bed. Is it caffeine in it? No, it's because they, whatever it is they do is the same as whatever it is that wakes you up in the morning or whatever. Okay, I've got you. Right. So I'm like, oh, it's these bloody steroids. I'm still feeling it from this morning. is the same as the whatever is that wakes you up in the morning or whatever.

I've got it. Right. So I'm like, oh, it's these bloody steroids. I'm still feeling it from this morning. Yeah. And then I go down and check the box of the steroids at 2am. Yeah. I tell you it's not the steroids, Rob. I tell you why it's not the steroids, because I actually read the box for the first time. I've been taking one pill a morning, I'm gonna take six.

So you've been taking one steroid pill a morning? For the first two mornings, yeah. Right, you're supposed to be taking six? I'm supposed to be taking six. So you're ten behind? Yeah, I'm tenning you, yeah. So what's keeping you awake then? Because if anything, you've not had your energy boost. Well, that's when I realised that for the last three days in the midst of all this, because I've been, oh, by the way, throughout this, we're all in the same

room. So I'm sleeping on the floor of my bedroom with my daughter while my son is in the bed with Rose. And where's Rose's mom in the room? She's upstairs in the attic. All right. Yeah. Where's the bed? Because obviously I keep my antidepressants in my bedside table to remind me to take them. I've forgotten because I've been sleeping on the floor.

So I've gone cold turkey for three days without realizing it. So then that's why you're not getting to sleep because you're... That's why I'm not getting to sleep and I feel incredibly anxious. Oh Josh, this is a really, really bad set of decisions. Well not decisions, mistakes. Oh Max, you're on the floor. And also the worst part is, Oh, I forgot to take a knock cause I was on the floor and couldn't reach. Yeah. And just like every night we're going to bed as soon as the kids.

So all week, go on to bed with the kids. You've literally got no structure. Routine and no antidepressants. So you're, so you've not taken antidepressants. Have you been taking your antibiotics? Yeah, I've been taking them but you just forgot to take your steroids. So no I was taking one of my steroids. I just wasn't taking the other five. Yeah absolutely. It's actually not antibiotics, it's Tami Flu because... Sorry, what's that like? The Tami Girl? Tami Flu is for people who get flu who are high-risk which is old people, people in

the first six weeks or asthmatics. Right. So I'm qualified for that. The first six weeks? Babies? Babies. People in the first six weeks? Babies in the first six weeks.

Oh, I thought you said people. Did you say people? Yeah, I did. Right, I was going to say, yeah. You said woke. I know. I can't recall them babies anymore. Calling all sellers.

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first future together. Head to salesforce.com slash careers to learn more. So by this point, I'm the next day. I've had a fucking great week. Yeah, but he went away for the two nights. No kids. There was a point actually on Friday when Rose did say to me, it's amazing to think that the world is just going on normally outside of this house.

I had a massage and I got so relaxed. I had a reflexology. I got so relaxed that when I woke up from my nap, I had pins and needles in my hands. I've never had that before. I just didn't move. Oh my God. It's never read that before, it just didn't move. Oh my god. It's the next day, obviously. So just basically, you know, if you change your dose of antidepressants, I'm on 10 milligrams, which is like the middle. You can go up to 20, but what you tend to do is go up and down in 2.5s.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you've gone completely 10 to 0. I've gone 0. 10 to 0. And the bad thing about antibiotics presence are it takes a little while for them to get into your system. So it's a three day, you're basically living three days in lieu. Yeah, so you know that if you forgot to take them for three days, it's three days until you're going to be better. Yeah.

And so Saturday was a down day, which wasn't helped by the fact that Rose's mum, who we thought her flu jab meant that she was clear. Bulletproof. Got taken down. So we're looking after her. She's not dead. No, good.

Just to double check. No, just to check. Yeah, yeah. I'd say that. Oh yeah, no, she didn't get flu. She got killed by a sniper. It was quite... It's a really mad week.

Yeah, really mad week. I'd say, I'd say that. Oh yeah. No, she didn't get flu. She got killed by a sniper. She was out on a bar. It was quite... It's a really mad week. Yeah, really mad week. Terrible week to stop taking your own depressants. That's why we've got the scaffold down, because we thought that he was using it as a... So, Saturday.

I'd say the world was a dark place for me on Saturday. But what I'd say is, that dark place was your normal for years. So is it nice to have a little window back into how you felt previously? No, no, no, because it felt like the lowest I've been in two years. Really bad. So I'll come to Saturday night. So is it still getting worse this week? Yeah.

Oh no. So Saturday day, I'm in a dark place, get through it and then Rose is going away. What did you do Saturday day, just in the house again, just being ill? No, I took my daughter who is now fine and I was kind of fine. Over the illness. Over the illness. I took her to dance at like drop off, sat in a cafe. Oh, right.

Okay. Came back and then we couldn't really do anything because it was kind of like, you know, people didn't want us going around to the house. It was not in you in your mood. No, exactly. Saturday night, Rob. I go to bed, instant panic attack. When you say, when you say to bed, lying on the floor next to the floor. Instant panic attack, like the old days. In the dark, like nostalgia, like just the floor. Instant panic attack like the old days in the dark. Like nostalgia like

just the worst. What set it off just I do think coming off the dark. Just the thought of being alone with my own thoughts. Basically bolt upright with a scream. Scream! Not like that but like ah I can't do that. Right because there's too much is coursing through your veins. This worry. Yeah. And then I basically burst into tears. The kids are asleep at this point. Yeah. Are they asleep through anything those kids? Well, no, his dad crying again. Burst into tears. Oh, Rose is going away. Saturday morning, Sunday morning.

Right. Okay. For work. Right. And obviously she's been looking forward to this. So I'm not, I'm like, I can't like be like, this is the worst I've ever felt. I know I'm going one on two with these kids and your mom as well. Being ill tomorrow. Cause she's not here helping. She's here being in a patient, another patient that I've been looking after all week whilst I've been ill. Because also if you get ill second as well, you don't get any help. To be fair, she's been incredible all week, Rose's mum.

Yeah. Oh, fair enough. So you feel like a little bit of you are the one. I've said I'll borrow Robert's radio after that's what I said to her this week. Oh, so you have this panic attack. As soon as Rose wakes up, you're just on your own. So then I go downstairs and I can't stop crying for about half an hour. Oh, so you have this panic, as soon as Rose wakes up, you're just on your own. So then I go downstairs and I can't stop crying for about half an hour. Oh, Josh. Just awful. Thankfully, that calms me right down.

Sometimes you've just got to let it out. You've got to let it out. You've got to let it out. And I think in those situations, you're better off just getting up and accept, I'm going to go watch a film or do something or read a book or do something chill and sit alone. Just sit alone and cry. But I know why I'm crying. It's a chemical thing. It's not a...

But also as well, if you just try going, I've got to get to you, but you'll get more and more anxious because you're not getting sleep. Or if you try and breathe it away or something, sometimes you do need to let the emotion come through you, if you know what I mean. Well, you're feeling it for a reason, so you've got to let it out. Yeah. Oh, mate. Well, you've just lack of sleep does that though.

If you don't have sleep or your own head space, that's what can get. Oh my God. You'd like everything I do to feel good. I've removed this week. I had no time on my own. I've done been able to do no exercise. I've been eating badly. I've been, no, I've stopped my antidepressants. It's literally like everything wrong. I'm going to pop this out here. Highlight your week. The Nedgielizer. It was a bit of time on my own. You and Ned shooting the breeze catching up.

Yesterday was quite good. To be fair, it just made me think that lockdown, fuck me. Mental, wasn't it? Yeah. You had a little blast of it. Yeah. And then Sunday we got through. How did you fit? So what happened Saturday night then you just sort of sat downstairs for a bit, let it all out and sort of did your breathing. Came back upstairs, I could just lie there. I didn't get to sleep till like half one, but I wasn't panicking or anything because I was just like, oh, this is just happening to me. Yeah well that's good it's good that you can be in a space where you can ride through it. And then I kind of got through that and then

this morning this is mental. So hang on Sunday was fine you just Sunday was great. You've seen better today. Yeah Sunday was, Sunday was fine. And then got to sleep last night. Kids put the kids to bed in our room again. Got to sleep. I do think them being another room might help you relax. Yeah. Yeah. This is coming from a man. Don't get me wrong. This is more than the night to remove them because our son is so into Rose that to then go and you're going back to your room tonight. She's not here tonight. yeah um so I said oh you had them on your own Sunday

because you're right yeah so um is a situation because he takes that he's so random and takes up so much room yeah he was in the double on his own while I was on the floor with my daughter he's three but it's just it's just, it was just easier. It was just easier. Yeah. So when's, when's Rose back? Tonight. I woke up her. So you might be able to do that tonight, put them in there.

Yeah. To be fair, we was away for the weekend and then my youngest, when she, she normally sleeps in bed with her sister or one of the grandparents if she's a bit upset in the night. So then last night Lou ended up going in with the youngest and then the elder just got with me and it was just chaos, it was all in separate beds. It is what it is. To end the story Rob this morning he what he had... Please tell me they went into school. Oh yeah they went into school. Oh additional thing yeah we've got to give him this medicine for his constipation. Right. Basically he woke up with a bad stomach at about 4am. I had to stroke his back till

he went back to sleep. And then I was so excited that I'd, because I'd just fallen asleep last night, totally fine. I'd had four hours, five hours sleep. By the time you woke up? By the time I woke up. And I was so excited that it was Monday morning and I was taking them to school and that I was going to talk to other grown-ups. I couldn't get back to sleep because it was like Christmas morning this morning. I was like I've made it. I can't believe it. Rose will be back when they come back from school. I'm here. I've got through nine days, no ten days including of his first day, 10 days.

And also what I'd say is coming off the back, like this shows how up and down your week's been, that having to be woken up at 4 a.m. to stroke the back of a constipated child has been a highlight of the week. It's genuinely, I was walking on air. I was walking on air. Well, I think you've done really well

because that is horrific. And especially, and the thing is, even though you felt really bad, it does just go away and then you find again. All things must pass. All things must pass. How's your week been? I was going to say, Oh, well, I had one more question about the bedtime thing.

Do when you put them to bed, do they just, you don't even try and put them in their rooms anymore. They literally go upstairs into the room. They're going into the rooms today. No, no, no. But previously, like last night and the night before, do you put them in your bed straight away? And just, you don't even put up the facade of trying.

Because what it was was because they had temperatures and because they were ill. Oh, yeah, no, I'm not asking you to explain it, but like, so when, do you have to get into bed with them in the room or do you just go into that room and they lay down and go to sleep at eight and then you go into that room with them at about 11? Or do you have to get into bed with them at eight for them to go to sleep at eight and then you go into that room with them at about 11 or do you have to get into bed with them at eight for them to go to sleep? My daughter, I need to be in the room but I don't need to be in the bed. Right, you could just be sat on a chair.

So when I take my daughter to bed now, I'll sit in bed, she's got a chair in her room, I've just got a book I've left in there so I'll just read three pages of that and she'll blast herself with a fan in the face. She's got that fat Dr. Prepare knocks her right out. Do you remember Dr. Prepare? We bought we did a whole episode on Dr. Prepare. There was a fan I bought that was much smaller than we had. Dr. Repair. Dr. Repair still goes to Dr. Repair.

We bought, it broke. We bought a second Dr. Repair because it was so good. Dr. Repair prepared to fail, doctor. Yeah, exactly. So I'll sit and read a book. Dr. Repair, I remember him, little fella. But my son needs kind of spooning to go to sleep. Your son needs spooning to go to sleep. Your son needs spooning to go to sleep.

Oh yeah, fair enough. And then, but then once you've spooned him to sleep in the main bedroom, you can come downstairs and watch a bit of telly before you go up yourself. But we haven't been doing that because we were ill. Right, you've just been going to bed with them. We've all grown to bed at nine because obviously they've been asleep in the day and stuff. Yeah. So it's just like,

It's chaos, you can't live like that. It's fucking mental. Kids need routine. Oh, it's chaos. You can't live like that. Kids need routine. Oh, at least they're back in today and you're all feeling better. Yeah. Thank God. That is insane. If the school phone number came up on my phone, I think I'd just throw the phone out the window at the angle, grind on the head. Two birds. Two birds, one miss call. Jesus, Josh. What a week. Oh yeah, I've had quite a nice week. Yeah?

Tell me about reflexology. Does it work? I think it does actually. No, oh yeah, so we just went away for my birthday. Luke took me to a hotel for a couple of nights, which was nice, so we did that. But yeah, it was just very laying down doing nothing really. Watched Gladiator 2 and Molly May's documentary. You watched Gladiator 2? Is it as bad as people say?

I really liked it and it's good fun, but I feel like the acting in it like... I love Denzel Washington, but he's very much being Denzel Washington in it. Yeah. And stuff. And then like, it's very hard for Paul Mescal to sort of improve on Russell Crowe because the story is so similar. Do you know what I mean? What is the story? Is it like son of or something? Yeah, but it's sort of like, yeah, sort of like comes back. It's just, it feels like exactly the same. I don't think I've seen gladiator. It's good. You should. Russell Crowe is great in it. He's amazing. But, um, trying to, work all we had a nightmare of a rug though. Have you ever bought a rug from ruggable?

I didn't understand what was going on Rob. Right. Let me talk about following this on Lou's Instagram What the fuck is going on? I didn't understand what that was it was it an under rug? Basically people are going oh, Lou thought though she was doing a fucking advert. She wasn't doing an advert She just couldn't work out how to do it r Rug-a-Ball, right. Now, I don't want to start beefing. I think the Rug-a-Ball, maybe the small rugs, it works. But- What is a Rug-a-Ball? A Rug-a-Ball is some mad website where you order a rug, but the idea is you get this sticky velcro underlay that then arrives separate to the rug, and then you lay that down then you lay the this material

that's sort of thinner than a rug but thicker than like a blanket sheet thing that sticks on to the underlay and the idea is you can take the top layer off put it in the washing machine so you can wash it or you can replace it because it's going on this. So what's the rug? The rug is the bit that goes on top of the velcro stuff but then thisy stuff, which is like half the rug, if that makes sense. So the rug comes in two bits? Yeah, but they sent us, the underlay was cut in two bits because it was quite a big rug. So we had these two separate bits of Velcro that were moving all over the place.

And then we had to get this unroller rug on top of it. Oh, I see. It's fucking impossible. And I imagine with a little rug or a little hallway runner, that works really well because it's manageable with this fucking massive rug. And the underlay bit was in two separate parts, which is fucking bullshit. It should definitely be one big part. But anyway, no offence, rugable, but not for me.

I can't be. Because you can easily remove it and wash it. Can you fuck I am never taking the top of that rug off that Velcro ever again. So that's pointless. So we kept it. Yeah, Lou did it without me. But Lou reckons it was I made it worse. But it's too complicated for me. But if you like a challenge, go for it. But I did. But Lou was going to me Lou was I mean, we're arguing about it. It was one of them when we were arguing, so I was like, this is just an absolutely ridiculous

business model. They send, it's like sending your fucking pizza and then a block of cheese. Just grate that on there and melt it. Yeah, I see. So the point is that a big rug with a bottom, you can't wash a rug with a bottom. Exactly. So you just peel it off the bottom and the bottom always stays there. So if you get bored of that rug, you can replace it with a new topper and you're only paying

for the top and not for the bottom. But also- But I think smaller rugs, it would work. Bigger rugs as absolute nightmare. And then it was one of them where we argued so much about doing it that we had to text each other love you when I left. Because I left the house to go to work. I just wrote love you and she wrote love you back.

And it felt like neither of us loved each other. But we have to say love you. So that was what was going on with the rug. Oh, Lou when we went away to the hotel, Lou, Lou packed a pair of boots, one boot of hers, one boot of my daughter's, our daughter's. How did that happen? Well, I asked and was laughing and then I got an absolute fucking volley of abuse from Lou going. Well, some of us had to pack three bags for this trip, my bag, the two children's bag to go to the grandparents. So yes, maybe I have made a mistake because I was overwhelmed with how much I had to pack when you're packing for three people rather than just one person and style, which was

a fair point to be honest. There wasn't that fucking default parent new mental load shit coming my way and I just sucked in, took my medicine. there was a bit of fucking default parent, new mental load shit coming my way and I just sucked it in. Sucked my medicine. Put your trainers on and walked out the door. Put my little trainers on and left the house. Spent a bit. So I'm sorry, how big are your daughter's feet

or how small are Lou's? Lou's is seven, the girls are around a one. So it's quite a difference. Yeah. But yeah. And did your daughter end up with the other one? No, she didn't pack. She didn't even pack, uh, boots for my daughter. My daughter just had her own trainers on and stuff like that. So, um, but yeah,

no, it was quite funny, but luckily she had another pair. But then cause people saw it on our Instagram at the hotel, they people kept them coming up to us, say like, do you want to borrow some Wellington boots or are you okay with your boots? And people just looking at her feet all the time commenting and she was absolutely water far. Also, can I ask you a question about school shoes for kids, right?

And I feel like I've stumbled on a great technique here. So when you have to get new school shoes or new school trainers for your daughter, where'd you go? And how'd you do it? And when do you do it? Ruggable. They send you the shoe and then the sole comes separately. All you have to do is just Velcro the sole on. You can wash the shoe. So where do we go? We tend to go to, what's it called? Is it

just called shoe kids or whatever? You know know like shoe, the German spelling of shoe. Shoe zone or Dutchman? No, you know shoe. S-H-U. S-C-H-U. S-C-H-U-H. There's a kids version of it in the Westfield in... And you go there for school shoes and trainers? Yeah. Well, have you ever been to Deitschman? Bromley High Street? They do good shoes.

Well, by the time I've got to Bromley High Street Rob, haven't been other places. It's eight minutes for me to get to the Westfield. Is it? Yeah. Wow. How'd you get there? Walk? No car drive. It's got parking. I will see what we do. Well, we get normally we get the school shoes from Monks and Spencers. Yeah. And we've been

trying to get trainers, the trainers from like, or Next, or the trainers with these were some Adidas ones. But she, what Lou does, rather than trying to take them down to all go, or we go to Clark's or Monks and Spencers, but sometimes it's just like an absolute hellscape the week before school. The good thing, Rob, about shoe is, because it's just, it's main, it's half train, you know, it's like a shoe shop for kids. Yeah, but they're quite, they're quite an expensive shoe shop for school ones that get rinsed. Oh yeah, but you get a year out of them, don't you?

Yeah. Well, not my market's going to go really quick. Anyway, well, no, shoes are a fine place to go, but I still find that quite stressful because they never have the right size. There's always a bit, you've got to wait fine place to go. But I still find that quite stressful because I never have the right size. There's always a bit, you've got to wait for them to bring them out. And then the kids go, you've got your old in their coats. I ate it. So what we did, we go on the website and just all do like that. We ordered like a size 13, size 13 and a half, size one,

size one and a half narrow. And then the same for my, and then for my other daughter. Yeah. So, but I mean, to be fair, we're in a privileged position where we can whack out on our card and then just get a refund later on. So we it comes to quite a lot. But then get basically get like eight pairs of shoes delivered to your house. Yeah. And then in 20 minutes in the front room, it's all done.

You keep the ones that fit and you definitely will have ones that fit because you've gone on a sliding scale of what ones they are. And then you only have to go to the shops once to take it back for a refund. But Rob, you look like an absolute plonker when you take them back. Lou said she went in and she said there was a young man. Can't you send them back? You can send them back, but actually it's easier if it's from like Marks or Next because you can just go in the store and do it. And if you're in town already, it's better than like, you know, posting it and all that. So

Lou said she went in and the guy who was young and like obviously didn't have children was like, so what do you want to do? She went, can I get a refund on these? And he went, there's six pairs of the same shoe. And Lou was like, yes, that's right. I ordered them to try them on and send them back like that. And he's like, okay. So the only danger is you look insane, but that is one trip to the shops for a refund and you're not getting hot and you've got no kids with you. But Rob, I'm going to put the other side of it. You put the shoe on the other foot. Go on. Yeah.

You are getting hot because of deep shame at the refund. So do you think that is morally bad because you're... No, I don't think it's morally bad at all. Because you're saying that I'm bad. I don't think it's morally bad, but I think it is still embarrassing. It is embarrassing, but I'd rather be embarrassed than be stressed. So I take my daughter there. Yep.

We're always looking for stuff to do at weekends. Oh, fuck. You know, your weekends are shit. Yeah. You live eight minutes from Westfield, mate. There's loads to do. Well, that's one of the things we're doing. Okay. No, but you know, if we need to go and buy shoes, that's quite a good thing to do because

she enjoys that. She enjoys browsing. I think it might be different when you've got two girls that are similar age and similar shoe size, because they argue over the shoes they want. They don't want to match because they're like, I don't want the same as her. And then it'd be like, I prefer those ones, I prefer those ones.

And then they've very rarely got, because they're about the similar size, like two of the same size. No, I don't find it stressful. So we just go. I'm very free rein with, as long as it's allowed. I'm not one of those people that I think let your kids choose the fucking shoes. That's my view.

Yeah, no, I we're quite relaxed about that. In that sense is not that stressful for me. Yeah, if some parents I just want a stressful experience. Some people don't you know, if you love that, and it's to highlight your weekend, that's on you. You have you have given rise to one of the problems. They don't have it in the right size.

However, you can try on a shoe in the right size to check it fits. Yeah. Order it at home. And then get them to send the right one. The way I look at it is I'm a man that loves certainty. Yeah. When you order all the sizes to your house, you know you've got shoes. At the end of that 20 minutes of trying them on after they've been delivered to your house, you've got shoes. You've also got 28 days to take six pairs of shoes to Marks and Spencer's.

I mean, excuse the pun, is it bad for the carbon footprint? Is it better to get all those shoes sent to us and then take them back in our car than us to go up there and all drive into town? Well, here's the added question. Because Rose will do this, and I'm sure, like, this is how Rose does some shopping, is she'll send stuff back. So there'll be someone will come, she'll order some stuff, she doesn't like it. Yeah. And then she will come, she'll order some stuff. Yeah. She doesn't like it. Yeah. And then she'll go, I'll go there's a delivery man here. And she'll go, yeah, there's an ASOS package next to the front door. He's taking that back or whatever. Yeah. Can't you just send the shoes back and never go to the shop? You can. You can. Yes.

Yeah, that's the answer. I mean, that's an option. Life's about options. But Lil's already going in and it was easier just to big the bag up. Next question. Next question. Keep on going. Are you manually measuring your children's feet? The beauty of our system is you don't ballpark.

She's wearing ones at the moment that are a bit tight. They're sort of 13 and a half up to one and a half. And you trust you trust your little fingers pressing at the? No, I don't trust my little fingers pressing end. Have I ever trusted the 17 year old shop assistants little fingers poking the end? No. When I walk into Clark's, no offence, I do not see someone that has trained in the art of shoe fitting. I've got a doctorate of shoe fitting for 15 years at university. I see someone that has trained in the art of shoe fitting. The cobbler. I've got a doctorate of shoe fitting for 15 years at university. I see someone that needs a Saturday job that literally pokes the end of the toes and looks at you and goes, yeah, I think they're all right.

Yeah, yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I don't think I've ever really got full feedback from someone measuring or shooting Clark. That's the difference between Clarks shoe kids. Cause in shoe kids, they're all the staff have helped with the process of constructing the shoes. And they've been on the phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're definitely. Yeah,

absolutely. They'll be all over that. What's that squeaking? What in the name of God is going on? What's Adrian doing? That's still there. Sounds like he's fucking in the stairwell. Your builder hasn't got a van that's been at your house two years. It's been at my house two years. Is he imprisoned? Are you one of those sort of people you see on the news? Well if he was imprisoned I wouldn't have to answer.

Oh shit, I haven't done his car. I thought he didn't have a car. No, he's got a car. He hasn't got a van. No. Because all his stuff's here. Why does he need to come in a van? Because he's a fucking builder and your house ain't Golden Gate Bridge.

We've done this show before. We've done this show before. We've done this show before. We've done this show before. We've done this show before. We've done this show before. We've done this show before. We've done this show before. He hasn't got a van. No, because all his stuff's here. Why does he need to come in a van? Because he's a fucking builder and he's not, your house ain't got Golden Gate Bridge. We've done this joke last time.

Yeah, we did this joke last time. There is parking then. They weren't bringing their materials to Golden Gate Bridge every day, surely? Yeah, but yes. I imagine that there was a store room next to Golden Gate Bridge in with the paint, yes,. And brushes and they'd get paint and brushes delivered there. However, your house isn't.

The parking was a fucking nightmare for them. Your house isn't Golden Gate Bridge. Your house is constantly being renovated and stuff moved about. Also, that fish tank week by week is getting lower. Just pour a bit, a bit of fucking Evian in there or something. How is it getting lower? They're not drinking it. It's evaporating. Oh god I've just booked my own car in. What's Adrian's? You do need to fill that fish tank up. Yeah I'm going to. I've been ill all week.

Give me a fucking break. I'll fuck off mate. How ill you gotta be to give a fish a water? It's, do you know what we can't do Rob. It's really, we're not allowed to handle the hamster because they can catch human disease. Oh no. And here's the thing. You can't hold him now can't you? Yeah, but Adrian was scared of the hamster. Adrian's scared of the hamster? Yeah. Sorry what? Hang on, look you're not making sense because you're trying to do parking for your builder. Have you done it? I went up to the room. Adrian was doing my daughter's room, which is done there. Wallpapering it.

She's never in there, but it's done. No, she uses it quite a lot actually. In the day? Oh, in the day. Yeah. Not for sleeping. And I was like, could you just feed the hamster? And he was too scared to get the hamster food out. You can't ask your builder to feed the hamster. What are you doing?

He's the only person who's not ill. Oh, fucking. Now, wash your hands then before you give it an handful of food. Well, I had to, because he was too scared of the hamster. Yeah, right. I know. I'm with Adrian. I'm not feeding your fucking hamster, mate.

It's a hamster. You feed it. Yeah, it's the prince of boy. You ain't scared of it. You just don't want to feed a hamster. I'm here to do your ass, mate, not feed your bets. When they say don't have a hamster, don't sneeze in its fucking face. I'm sure you can pick up a plastic pot and put a couple of nuts in it.

Oh, come on. Cut to next week when our hamster's dead. He's on the little mini-nedulizer. Ned, you got a small one. Right. Small business shout out. I tell you what, I've got handed a live action, real small business shout out. Oh, did you? That's nice.

Yeah, I quite like this. This is a new feature, old school. He wrote me an actual letter. This is a guy that I sort of saw on a previous week at one of my kids' clubs, after school clubs. And he gave me this letter. Hi Rob, first of all, sorry to be the guy hassling you when you're trying to take your kids to a club. But as a chance, if an opportunity comes up, I think you should go for it, a working class mentality. Now to the point, due to you and Josh having a big popular podcast, I'd like to do a small business shout out to gain some attention on my latest project, which is a 30 minute film called spectrum, which deals with the subject of life as an adult with autism. I grew up sharing a room in a council flat in Canon town with my younger brother Steve, who has autism. This has given me a lived in shared experience of his journey from childhood to

adulthood witnessing his daily challenges and seeing his growth in various aspects of life inspired me to write and direct this film. You can watch it on YouTube, Spectrum it's called and it all go to www.rickstanton.co.uk forward slash spectrum. With this link, you'll also find the trailer and info on how and why the film was made and press interviews including a 20 minute segment on BBC five live. In this interview I spoke about the importance of representation within storytelling while being told from a unique and honest perspective. The film is authentically cast with Steve, my brother who has autism, playing the lead while being supported by BAFTA winning actor, it's Woonmee Masaku. Is that how you that he said she's been in Deadpool.

Apologies if that's wrong, but wouldn't me miss Saku who's been in low key Deadpool Wolverine and black mirror. I know this is something you wouldn't normally speak about the pod, but I thought I'd try my luck. Thank you very much, Rick. Um, and you go to his website. That is great. Stanton.com.

Okay. I've watched, I actually watched it. And I honestly, when he gave me this note in an industrial, actually, I was in Curry's trying to buy a kettle. And he gave me this note. That's not true. Is he taking back six kettles because you'd found the right kettle. Yeah, absolutely. And I'll be honest, if he gave me this, I thought this is going to be the shittest film ever. I watched it. It's actually incredible. Genuinely. It's quite dark. It's not I won't watch it with the kids. But it's really well acted really well put together. Genuinely, if you if I'd put on the latest

black mirror episode and this started, I would think it's a black it's done brilliantly. And until what is I think we should support this. It's about 2 1800 reviews on YouTube. Please can you go and watch this? And if it's not your cup of tea, because you know, you don't have to like everything just because it's a small bit of shout out, just press play on it and don't watch it. Leave it running on your phone while you go and make a cup of tea or something.

So far along, let's try and get these views up massively so that this gets the audience it deserves. That's the film Spectrum by Rick Stanton. Spread the word about it. Spread the word about it. Dear Josh, Rob and Michael, I'm a loyal listener having listened since the start. My lovely friend Samantha Bellaby, aka Pig on account of her stumpy legs.

Jesus. She's gone in hard. Bloody hell. Is it okay? Hashtag? Is it okay? Yeah. Who lives in Hayworth in Yorkshire, sadly had a stroke at 45, five years ago. She had to give up her job working as a contractor in a bank, has now retrained as a McCrame artist. Is that how you say, McCrame?

Is that how you say M-A-C-R-A-M-E? McCrame? McCrame? McCrame artist. She does all sorts, wall hangings, wedding backdrops, plant hangers, Halloween fairies, Christmas fairies, et cetera. I am

emailing because she phoned me recently very upset as business have not been doing too well. She doesn't have many other options as can't yet manage a normal nine-to-five job. I'd really appreciate it if you'd send a small business shout out. She really is so talented and just needs a little bit of promotion. Well that is what we are here for. So she's on Facebook and Instagram at pig, P I G G and bell and the and is an ampersand and pig and bell double G and pig ampersand and yes, that's pig with two G's. Please do take a look. She's so good and I'm so proud of her.

Thank you in advance. Becky Froud, AKA horse on account of my long face. Jesus Christ. And at McCr- It's a lovely message in there somewhere, but it sounds a bit like Boolean at points. McCrame is a beautiful art form that entails knotting fabric to create beautiful patterns.

There we go. Looks cool actually. I didn't know what McCrame was. Josh, I will see you next time. But in the meantime, get yourself some McCrane and watch Spectrum on YouTube. Will do. Bye.