Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - THE SECRET HOUSE MOVE TAPES: PART 1

Episode Date: September 15, 2025

In the summer of 2025, Josh Widdicombe, despite countless protests over the years that he would not be moving out of London, and much to the amusement of his friend Rob Beckett, finally accepted the inevitable and began the search for a new family home beyond the M25… The evidence of these conversations were so secret, that they were expected to be confined to the archives forever…. However, these classified audio recordings have been uncovered and can be released to the public for the first time…. What we present to you here, are the secret house move tapes… ***For the safety and security of some of those involved, some of the names, dates and locations contained within have been changed, and in some cases redacted*** CASE FILE 07041997 - Interview 1: Date: 19th June 2025  CASE FILE 07041997 - Interview 2: Date: 4th July 2025  CASE FILE 07041997 - Interview 3: Date: 25th July 2025 Part 2 of THE SECRET HOUSE MOVE TAPES will be released very soon.... A Keep It Light Media Production All enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To succeed in the future of work, forward thinkers use AI to deliver measurable results. Workday is the AI platform for HR and finance that frees you from the mundane so you can focus on more meaningful work. Workday, moving business forever forward. Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groom lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no, but a banana, that's a yes. A nice tan.

sorry, nope, but a box fan, happily yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. Pumpkin is here at Starbucks and we're making it just the way you like. Handcrafted with real ingredients like our real pumpkin sauce and rich espresso, sprinkled with pumpkin spice. It's full of real flavors you'll keep coming back for. Made Just for You at Starbucks. In the summer of 2025, Josh Whitacom, despite countless protests over the years

that he would not be moving out of London, finally accepted the inevitable and began the search for a new family home beyond the M25. For the safety and security of some of those involved, many of the names, dates and locations contained within have been changed. What we present to you here are the secret house move tapes. 19th of June 2025 So welcome to first in what we're calling the secret tapes We are recording these sort of ad hoc as we go

Because you can't really talk about it on the podcast Immediately What's up? Why are we doing secret tapes Josh? What's happening in the life of the Whitacom? Because we're looking to move or potentially move Yeah And I don't know what's going to happen You're moving out of Hackley to somewhere out of London

As things stand we are putting a bid on a house in Exeter. Big move. Big move. Big boy move. And I'd say I speak to every week and I knew that I didn't have inkling that you were that against London

and you quite liked it. In the last month, like this place, Hackney, like this is the best bit of East London but it is four people that are younger than us. It's amazing if you're like in your 20s working in London or even having babies. Yeah, exactly.

got grown-up toddler, children, children, that you've got to look at the next 10 years. It's not suited. So we looked at this house in Exeter and Wright Move for about a month. You know when you're just turning things over and over and over? Yeah. And then Rose was like, why don't we just go down there, look at the house, look at the school that's on the road. Yeah.

Because currently we're just having these internal hypothetical conversations. You might hate it. Hopefully we hate it. Yeah. Hopefully, we hate it and we realize, God, thank God we live in London. Go down, see the house, we really like it. Oh. Oh, dear.

And then we go to the school and we really like that. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. And you go to it to City Centre and you really like that. Let's not push the boat too far. And that's okay. Oh, that's fine. And that's absolutely fine.

He's got an Apple store if I lose my headphones. Do you know what, though? That's quite, you know, you do need a few of those got a shop. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So then we get the train back. We're like, we should do this. And I haven't thought, I can't imagine how bad it is if you have to move your kids for your own career. Here we think we're making the right decision for them. Some people just have to move, you know, military people or whatever all the time. Yeah, of course. Suddenly, the whole thing, I feel so guilty. Because you don't have to move You can afford to house you're in And you can stay there if you want to

It's more of a You think it would be a better decision for the family But we think it would be much better for them Because they'd have much more space You get like basically Two times what you'd get here Yeah of course And also more importantly

You don't have to be in London to work I don't have to be in London to work You're travelling around the country to do gigs You can get the training I think I need to be in London One or two days a week Yeah It's just you start to worry about like

Everything around your kids like I love my daughter's teacher yeah he's so great and then we went to like the parents evening last night having had this discussion about going yeah honestly I don't know how people cheat on their partners because because you're sort of like in your head you're going well we're probably going to leave soon and you're talking to us about our daughter and you feel like you're lying you feel awful because you love these people do you know what I mean you you you feel like they've I know it's all like people you feel like they've I know it's all like people People leave schools all the time, particularly in London.

Yeah, of course, but you're so worried about your child starting a school. And once they're in and settled, you're so relieved and they've got friendship groups and they're progressing with their education and socially. Then you're basing on, well, I'm just going to rip all that out and hope it sticks again. What am I doing? Yeah. What the fuck am I doing? This is mental. And also, we were like, oh, maybe we'll do this in a couple of years.

And now we're fucking doing it. And now it's fucking June the 19th. Yeah. And we're applying for the September intake of this fucking school in Exeter. Yeah. And going, if this bid's accepted, we probably won't move it all through in time, so we'll have to rent it. Because we want her to start in September because luckily for us,

this school has like the young people. And then year three is the middle school. Yeah. So she'd literally start September on the first year of the middle school. So it would feel less like she was joining a new school. school. And not the only one, yeah. Not the only one. And you're like, oh, maybe this is, and then you're like, am I fucking insane? We've just had the house done. I tell you what, Rob. The words adds value have been used by me and Rose, a lot in the last. We probably added value, haven't we?

We've probably added value. We've added value. The reason I've been sleeping on my daughter's voice, we've added value. The reason I've had a terrible year is we've added value to someone else's buy. But do you know what? Actually, we did say, part of it is going, we've done up the house and we've gone, we're still not comfortable in London. Yeah, no matter how nice a house is what's done up, what it feels like I'm getting from you is the actually environment that the kids are going to be growing up and the stuff they can have access to

and it is not really suited to that age of child. And then when they get to 14, 15, and they start getting the buss and hanging out in Hackney, it's quite an intense place to live and operate. Well, exactly. So Mike Wozniak, who we've had on this show, he lives in Exeter, and we went around for coffee tea.

He's got a 14-year-old daughter and it was like 5pm, and I was like, where is she? He's like, I don't know she'll be hanging out with her friends before she comes home. And you're like,

he's so casual about that because it's Exeter. Yeah. And I think of my friend who's got like a tracker on her kid and going, he's in London Bridge. I don't know why he's in London Bridge.

What's going on? Obviously, I'm not just slagging off, but this is how I feel currently. I'm not slagging. I've lived in London 20 years this September and it's been amazing, but I do feel like I'm done. Also, as well,

there's lots of people that have to live in London because that's where the work is. So it would like to move out and stuff, but you do have an option to move out and stuff. And they say moving is like one of the most stressful things you can do. And it is massively stressful. And in the short term, it might be difficult, but you know, you're doing the...

The emotion I'm feeling. And I know it's displaced emotion from the fear of... It's all about your kids and it's all about their world. But also I feel so guilty towards like, I know this sounds mad. I feel sad about telling the school I feel sad about telling her teachers The other day I was like

What about our cleaner How's our cleaner going to deal with this Like we're the fucking centre of everyone's Fucking worlds And if they care She'll probably just get a new job and go Yeah she'll be fine There's other jobs in London

And as much as you know You want to support people That help you and your family You can't really keep your entire family in Hackney because of a part-time cleaner and may have to look for new work. You know, you've got to prioritise your own family. A teacher that, for all I know,

could be fucking off to another school anyway. Exactly. And do you know what? It makes me think about. It made me think a lot about like footballers and football managers. Yeah. And how hard that must be just go.

Right, we're gone now. Plymouth Argyll fans. And like, we've just appointed Tom Cleverley, right, as our manager. Okay, yeah. Look, I don't need to tell you guys that. I'm sure. And none of us are thinking,

what the fuck's this has got to do of you moving out? but can't have. And people straight on the fucking forums he better move his wife and kids down there to show he's committed to the club. You're like what the fuck is your problem? Why do you care about two kids you've never met where they

go to school? Maybe his kids are really settled and so his wife is and he's in the most fragile job in any sport and maybe it would be fucking insane for someone to move their kids around when the average manager job

is a year or whatever it is. Also as well, if you're the Plymouth manager, there's two options. You're shit and you get sacked so you go back home or you're good and then you go and get a proper job. Oh, okay. You've said it, Rob, not me. But that's the truth.

No one wants to be the Plymouth manager long term. You do that to go, hopefully, if I do well, I can go to championship and then Premier League. And that's the way every football team works. Exactly. That's not having a go of Plymouth. Even players at Arsenal want to play for Real Madrid. Trent Alexander Arnold, for example, at Liverpool Boyle Club still wants to go elsewhere. It happens. Quick question. When does your son start school?

September. This September. Yeah. So like you say, it feels like a rush, but I do think with the age of your kids, it would be nice for them to sort of do that. Or could you delay it a year? Well, what we've done, right, so we're going to bid on this house. Do the kids know anything at this point? Yeah, my daughter, because we want to keep her informed. Yeah, I think that's important. And we want her to feel, even though this is unfair to say, you're not putting the decision on us. seven-year-old, but you want her to feel that she's part of this discussion. Yeah, because she might go, oh, yeah, it'd be great to start in September, or she might go, oh, actually, this stuff can, you know... Well, she's like, excited by the house, we've shown

her, picture of the house, we've shown her, like... I mean, this sounds mental. We've shown her the, like, the school. Yeah. The website of the school. She just said, I hope people like me, and you're just like, oh, my God. Why don't I just stab myself in the fucking heart? Every single option is a negative. So you go, all right, yeah, we'll do that down this September then, and that way he starts his first call then, and she can settle in.

So what we've said to ourselves is, we'll bid on this house. If we get it, then great, that's the plan. If we don't get it, that's fine because this was always a longer-term plan. So let's see this as a no-lose. We're not going, if we miss out on this, our life's over. because a month ago, we were just looking at the right move going, oh, I wonder whether that would be a good idea. So just see where the waves take you.

That's not the phrase. And hopefully not into choppy waters, into a nice, calm, like. But I am so emotionally fraught about it. It's not the stress of the move. Well, maybe it is. There's two separate things here. One's the stress of the move, where even if you moved two doors down in Hackney, you'd be stressed.

Yeah. Wi-Fi, plumbing, electrics, blah, blah, blah, blah. all that kind of stuff. The other one is the guilt you're feeling for uprooting your children and family, right? Yeah. That's what you're feeling. And all you care about them is them. And that's your priority of life, for you, exit is a much better decision, I think. For your children, I think it's a much better decision. And you're closer to Cornwall, you're a bit further, right? You don't need to be in London. You've outgrown that area. I think it's all an amazing decision. But what it will be is when you do it, there will be things that you reflect on and go, maybe I didn't do that

right, or maybe I should have, and you might go, you know, actually it was really good we did this or was really bad we'd do that. You've just got to just try your best and hope for the best and not beat yourself up. And we were trying to put it off and go, oh, maybe we'll do it in a year or two, but you're going, no, what are we doing that for? Because also as well, you're just lingering it over the kids' head, because really, for your daughter, it's a scare of the unknown. The best thing for it might be, right, East summer holiday's over, go down there, have a brilliant summer in London, brilliant summer in Exeter, and then get down there in August, and then she starts in September. And at least she started in school where it's,

It's still quite warm and bright and fun and not deepest. You could go, well, no, let's put it off till January. And then she's starting to go in January. And the house is all old and spooky and dark. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. This is the other thing with it is I think one of the things I feel is if we'd known in March and we were like, this is your final term.

Yes. But currently she's got four weeks left. And then she could just be like, right, you're never going to go back there, I'll see them, and say goodbye to them now. Yeah. So it's like, you've suddenly gone into this fucking hell. And we've told people and they're like, that's come from nowhere. And you're like, it has. But it's been lingering in our heads. And then the odds are still against it happening. But I thought it was good to log. September does feel soon. You're telling me. If you got rid of school and children and it was just you and Rose going down there, even for you guys, September's like, fucking hell. It's only a few weeks and we're going to be going on holiday. And nothing gets done over the summer holidays, Josh. We're all leading to the bit. From about mid-July and August, everything slows down. People are away and everyone goes, oh, they're back next week.

And then by the time that person's back from holiday, another person's gone on holiday. And the person that you're trying to get to complete, can't sign it off. It may be, in a way, it's like if your son knows it, you're going to start in London in September, but then we're going to be moving down to Exeter next spring. And that's just what he thinks is happening. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then he, you know.

I don't know what we're going to. But basically, I'll fill you in next week on. where we get in a way if the bid just gets rejected i think a weight will lift off our shoulders but i think you've made a decision now yeah i just think full steam ahead going with it because i think it is the right decision it is just an absolute nightmare of logistics but you will be moved in there and the kids will be fine at school you will be 10 times happier rose will be 10 times happy and you'll sit there in about say a year's time or even 80 months and go i'm so glad we did this yeah it'll be hard and most importantly for me fucking great

podcast content, but it will be difficult, but like anything that's ever been good in both of our lives has been hard grafted. Yeah. But it was worth it. Yeah. To the end. Do you know what I mean? So I'll fill you in on more next week. Quite excited, quite sexy having secret tapes. During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures. And see for yourself how Volvo's legendary safety brings of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September lease a 2026 XE90

plug-in hybrid from $599 bi-weekly at 3.99% during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Condition supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Wait, I didn't get charged for my donut. It was free with this Tim's rewards points.

I think I just stole it. I'm a donut stealer. Ooh. Earn points so fast. it'll seem too good to be true. Plus, join Tim's rewards today and get enough points for a free donut, drink, or timbits. With 800 points after registration, activation, and first purchase of a dollar or more,

see the Tim's app for details at participating in restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Case file 07041997, interview 2, date 4th of July 2025. I feel really naughty doing this, Josh. This is our second instalment of The Secret Tapes. You're the one who insisted we did it wanking, so. Well, yeah, I just thought, if you're going to be the secret naughty, be secret naughty. Now, this is the second instalment.

We are basically, you are moving home. Maybe. Okay, well, let's find out. I thought it was nailed on. You're moving out of London to some of out of London. And the last time he chatted, you was thinking, should we do it or not? what's the current update are you current where are you currently living okay i'm currently in london have you sold your house it's June the 4th july the 4th july the 4th oh god we need to get a

fucking move on so what's the situation now we've had a bid accepted for a new house out of london are you saying where it is a new house and exeter yeah i'm happy to say where it is because if it doesn't come off i mean if what's weird is recording something where you don't know what your life situation will be when it's played out. That's why it's naughty. You know when those people go like, I had a potentially terminal illness and I recorded a video diary and I always think I think that's really weird recording a diary. I think it's wild as well to use that as an example. I know, but you know what I'm, I know. I don't, I'm not, I'm not saying, I don't move it down to stressful, but I'll say probably not as stressful as that. But what I mean is

I always think I don't want to document something where I don't know how it's going to come out on where I'm going to be. Well, that's why it's naughty. It's so naughty. It's naughty. And I suppose I can say this because it's not going to fuck it up because it might have already fucked up in the future. It might.

Just unfold those arms and be free, baby. Take your top off. The house, the bid has been accepted. Congratulations. Have I told you who used to live there? No. Noel Edmonds. Come on.

Really? Like three people back. He didn't move from there to New Zealand. Just to be clear. It isn't in Crinkly Bottom, and it isn't the house you used to see on Saturday nights in the TV. So do you adopt Mr. Blobby when you're moving? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All of the wallpaper is pink and yellow, strangely.

Before we move on, you and Noel Edmonds have the same taste? No. Well, yeah. Well, yeah, I suppose so. With houses? With houses, yeah. So you've had a bid accepted in a house that Noel Edmonds has had sex in? I can't confirm whether he has.

Of course he has. Yeah. In every room, probably. And he's wanked, in there? Almost. Holding a crystal to make it twice as good. Oh, sorry. No, I don't want to ruin your new house.

That was years ago anyway. So the chakra's gone. He's chakran everywhere. The chakras gone. He cleaned up the chakras. If you want to read about the legal dispute he had with the builder that did work on the house, do Google it.

Can you? Yeah. Sorry. We've had a bid accepted. Yeah. The guy has said, I'll take it off the market, but obviously our situation is our house isn't on the market yet. So it's good of him to accept.

Most people wouldn't accept the bid. He has said, I will take it off the market until mid-August, but you need movement on your house by mid-August. Right. Otherwise, it's going back on the market. So basically, you've got to get your house sold, or at least in the process of being sold. Moving, yeah.

By mid-August. By mid-August. It's six weeks times it stays been accepted off the market. Yes. Right. And that is your house

on the market yet? We do it. Having the photos done on Monday and it's going on the market on Wednesday. Right. Okay.

Today is Friday. It's quite a stressful period. Right. Okay. The thing is, though, your house is stunning and ready to... That's...

I'm confident. And actually, the fact it's been done up, actually, I don't think we'd have sold it as quickly. Because now people can just move in straight away. Yeah, it's turn key

as they call it's turnkey. Turnkey, you're in. Turn key, you're in. It's so new this kitchen. It's still not finished. That is Adrian. He will be here when you move in. Don't worry about him.

He'll get stuff done. Bit of trivia, Rob. Adrian's coming tomorrow to do some last touch-ups. Of course he is. Added trivia. We haven't told Adrian that we're moving because we think he'd take it badly considering how hard he worked on the house. When he was working on the house, he did say the phrase, you better live here forever.

And that was, what, a week ago? That was six months ago. It was a strange thing to do, but you never know where you're going to be in six months. And this is the right thing to do for the kids and for us. Yes. So we then had to start telling people. Because obviously the kids need to go to school. Do I tell you we went to look at a school?

I don't know if you told us that last time. So we went to look at a school. We really liked it. Is it near the house? Rob, it is at the end of the street. But you love the school run so much. Can I tell you about my school run this morning? Because normally there's three routes into Hackney from Victoria Park.

there's grove road there's Victoria Park Road and there's the one past the Hackney Empire that's name I don't know they've closed Grove Road and the one past the Hackney Empire for Roadworks at the same time good idea yeah

so this morning my journey of 1.6 miles came up on my sat and I was 41 minutes and not leisurely 41 minutes where you are in merging traffic with everyone I'm slowly trying to edge forward. That can easily be 55. Yeah.

So two hours there and back. Yep. So there we go. The new one will be closer. So that's a walk. How's Rosie's driving lessons going? Cheb one yesterday, yeah. But she's got a test in October in London,

so I don't know what the score is there if we move. She'll have to put that back waiting up a year. Well, I suppose it's easier to get a test and exit at. And I'd say if you gave me the options, I'd take my test in exitter. Although the way it's going in London You won't be going very far during your test It'd be absolutely glorious

Just trying to get to the school back Yeah Okay cool So next thing is The emotions of the situation Are wild Have you told the kids And have you told the school

Told the kids They're excited They went for their open day At the school Oh they've been down for that And they're excited This is good They loved it

So they're really up for it Amazing My daughter described herself As excited but sad I think that's a brilliant place to be. That's a perfect way to be because you don't want to pretend that there's not an element of... There's always a positive negative to every

situation. I, however, for about a week, was sad. I messaged you and you seemed in quite a bad way, but then I went to the Indonesian jungle and lost phone seat on. Yeah, sorry, I forgot that you joined the SAS. I... Sad and sober, like you. God, I could do with a drink.

I... Go on have one. I'm joking. I had to tell... I love... my kid's school. Yep. That really is the only thing I'm properly sad about.

I mean, I couldn't give a shit about telling the school. But I think it's because the kids are really happy there. Right. They've done a lot for the kids. I get on really well with the teachers. I think one of the things is

London, A, I've got to the point where I'm finding it annoying. But B, I've got to the point where obviously I know I'll come back. It's not like I go, oh, I'll never see it. But you're literally going, that's that chapter of my life done. Yes.

So I think that's more for you as an individual going like, oh, this is official, I'm telling other adults. And to be honest, I've been happy telling my friends. I couldn't give a fuck. Yeah, but it's strange that you're bothered about the school and the kids aren't even upset. Rob, the day I texted parents are friends of the kids that my daughter's friends with

and my daughter's teacher and the head, I cried for most of the day. Really? Like sobbing. I don't think that's to school. I think you sang it out loud. made it real. That's me being emotionally unwell. No, no, no. No. I think obviously you're quite an emotional person, but I think saying out

loud to other people that you respect at a school that deal with your children's education, you've entrusted your kids with them. I think there's also something about the people you've entrusted your kids to and we've done this, even though it's their job, who've put so much of their effort into your children. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, of course. There's something about that connection that I find incredibly emotional. And I do you know, don't know what it is. Any psychologists out there? I think because you've said it out loud and it feels real and you're worried that they might

be going, oh, you think that's a good decision? Well, I've said it out loud to a lot of friends and I didn't give a shit. It was very weird. Yeah, but that's me your friends are your friends. Teachers are a part of authority and a hierarchical structure where it's like they're proper grown-ups to us. Right in, right in. Did you cry when you told them or just after?

The friends? No, the teachers. Well, it was emails. Yeah, I just cried my eyes. Hey, mate. Bad news. Quite my eyes out, writing an email about how amazing they'll be. Also, it's this awful up in the air thing. So are they holding a place for you in case you don't move in? Yeah. Because this is quite a short amount of time. You're going to have to rent somewhere. That's part of the problem, right? Is that four weeks before the summer holiday that this all started.

If we've gone, we might move in three months. There's time to get used to it. Now you're like, it might be a last lesson in three weeks time. Yeah. She might be leaving. Ah, this is really intense. And we won't know because our house, it'll all still be up in the air at the start of the summer holidays. So the whole thing is a fucking, so it's quite stressful. I think if I'm honest with you, if things are looking like they're going to happen in the second half of August, we'll rent. You'll have to rent from it, yeah. Because it's so helpful that they start. Because my son's going into reception, it wouldn't even feel like he's moving schools in the way that other kids feel like they're moving schools.

Yeah. It's just a completely new school, fresh start. Yeah, so I think... You rent somewhere. Oh, fuck. The whole thing's so fucking stressful. Because everyone keeps saying to me, oh, your house will sell.

You'll be fine. You're in Hackney and you've got a nice house. And you're like, that's like going to you, you know, like the day before something that's big for you going, by the way, Rob, your tour will sell really well. So why you... Why are you... You're like, yeah, it's fine to say that from the outside,

but from the inside, you're like, there's a lot on this. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but if he doesn't sell, even if it does still straight away, there's still a lot of bollocks in between. There's so much bollocks. And no one properly works over the summer. I know, Rob.

There's so much bollocks associated with it. And you're like, we haven't had the survey of their house. We haven't had the survey of our house. September feels ambitious to move in the house, but renting is my prediction that you'd be down there renting. If you offered me that now,

I'd take it. Well, everything goes through for Christmas on the sales, but you just have to rent for three months. I mean, the worst case scenario, Rob, yeah is we start renting and then it all falls through well yeah and then all the kids are in the schools oh my god yeah because if it's guaranteed that the houses go through you're fine it's fine to rent then you just have to rent there for a year and have just a house in london

that no one's in that you're paying for Jesus fucking when do you move the hamster and the fish down I was thinking how do you move a hamster and fish how do you move fish how do you move fish how do you move fish hamster what you do is you put it in a little carry case thing that the kids will hold and the drive down. What, for five hours? Well, it's not the kid or the hamster's fault you've moved further.

What do you mean? All right, do it for now then, let him walk. In the separate car to the cat's cage? Oh, yeah. It's like the chicken and the fox and the grain, getting them across the river.

You're going to have to move it down gradually. You can't move a fucking cat into a rental. Do you know, you can't turn out to a rental with a cat, hamster and a fish?

Did a new one need any work to it or can just go in? Oh, we can move in straight away? But you just needs a bit of redecoration. It doesn't think you could do that while you're there. Okay, that's good. How would you be feeling in my position? Currently, with how much work I've done this year,

I literally wouldn't be able to compute that at the moment. How do you feel about it? I'm trying to not think about it unless, because also every day is constant admin and form filling. It's constant, you know, like, send a scan of your passport. And also the kids are going to be off school soon? Are you working much over the summer? No, I'm not really.

Yeah, that's fine, then. When does this tour start? September the 14th or 15th or something like that The week after your children may have started school A new school and you're renting in Exeter Yes, or the week when we're just living in London And we're bringing them into our same school going Did that ever happen?

Or you just push it all back to January Well, I don't think we'd get this house Yeah, oh God, yeah There's a lot of moving parts here, mate It's quite a lot of moving parts And you know the worst thing, Rob? What's that? The tour was beautifully programmed for someone who lives in London

No, I don't want that many South West gigs. I'll do Norwich again. That'll be fine. I've got a week in the South West that was going to be a week in the South West. That's going to be easy. But there's a lot of London satellite towns that you nip into them from. That were great to do on a Wednesday when I had nothing else that week because I could just pop out and back.

But now... Well, actually, Bristol would have been better. Yeah. but there we go. It will all work itself out. It might be a bit stressy, but, you know, I'm sure it'll be absolutely fine and not a problem, too honest. Yeah?

Yeah. So place your bets? I'm going to bet. You will sell your house. You will buy this one. You will be in that house just before Christmas, the new one. And I predict you'll be renting down in Exeter, September, October, November for three months. Well, let's see how it plays out.

What's your prediction? I'm just trying to tell myself, it'll probably, fall through because otherwise you get your hopes up. Do you know what I mean? Do you think it's just going to fall through and you're going to stay in London and keep looking? Yes, that's what will happen. Michael, what do you predict? I think it's all going to go very smoothly to time and be completely stress-free. Oh my God. Bullshit. It'll be fine. Miller Light. The light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer and the perfect pairing for your game time.

When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tastes like Miller Time. Learn more at millerlight.ca. Must be legal drinking age. Bankmore Encore.

when you switch to a Scotia Bank banking package. Learn more at Scotiabank.com slash banking packages. Conditions apply. Scotia Bank, you're richer than you think. Case file 07041997. Interview 3. Date 25th July 2025. Back with our secret tapes, Rob. Yeah.

So what's that? told your house. We put our house on the market, Rob. Yeah. Shout out to the, I was told there was a string of people putting our house on the parenting hell Facebook group and saying, I think this is Josh selling his house. And then other people saying, I really don't think you should have done that.

There's a TikTok. Have you seen the TikTok of your house? Someone sent me a screen grab of it. Yeah, so there's a guy that basically does Bright Move reviews. And he goes, this is a podcaster's house. Guess which podcaster? and then just talks through the house. Very complimentary.

Oh, that's nice. And then loads of people were tagging me in it going, it's Joshua Wood's house, it's Joshua Gould's house. And I throw it can't be his house. He's only just had his kitchen done. He wouldn't sell. We've got a lot of likes. Anyway, and he put it on, we got an offer and we accepted the offer.

So well, Dan, you got an offer? This is all going incredibly smoothly? Yeah, apart from the revelation of my address in an email sent to 300,000 people, yeah. Well, I think that TikTok's been viewed about a million times anyway. Okay, right. So it's... It's absolutely every year, multi-generationally. In a way, it's nice to be popular.

You know, you're not dropping off on sort of notoriety. And if anyone else wants me, I'll do it for 1%. If you don't want an estate agent, if you just want me to pretend I live in your house so you can sell it, I'm more than willing to list it myself. I've got a reach of a million people on TikTok. Yeah, quite a lot of people have seen that. Anyway, it's sold. It's sold.

So now we're doing surveys, we're doing all that thing. What this did mean, Rob, is we accepted the offer two days from the end of school term. So suddenly, you're basically saying, so, you know, we were moving, these are your last two days. We now know these are your last two days at this school. We didn't know that for sure before. I think that's good, though, because I think... It's good to have a send-off. Yes.

She was sad about it, my daughter. So my son, he's for... He's starting properly, and he doesn't matter as much for him. It doesn't really emotionally figure. Well, he's got to move to a new school anyway, and he doesn't really care if he's exeter or not. Well, he was moving just actually, the nursery's part of the school,

so he was moving literally across the yard. But yes, I found it quite emotionally crawling, Rob. You've got to buy a new uniform as well. The night before my daughter said to me, so tomorrow is the last time I'm going to put on that uniform. Oh my God, do not say that to Joshua would have. Have a guess, did I burst into tears. Anything to do with tradition or routine and just...

End of an era. End of an era. It gets you for something. There's something in you that it gets. Oh my God. I was bawling my eyes out. In front of her. Yeah, it's good for men to show emotion.

I totally agree. But was it an immediate burst into tears? I wasn't heaving sobs. Right. Okay. Well, let me say it. And then you'd show me the delay. Daddy.

Yeah, she didn't say that. She's not as deferral. French was that. No, she just did, she just... Joshua. Yeah. This is going to be the last time I ever wear this, isn't it? Yeah.

Because you'll move. Yeah. Because you want to move. And then I'd have gone by now. And I'd say the crying, not heaving sobs, but imagine you're watching a really sad film. I think it's good to show about you. Did she get upset? Not really.

Like, she's sad, but she's not going to cry. Like, she's sad. But I don't think seven-year-old's going to cry over. she doesn't understand eras or you don't understand eras yet also so what we've done and we think this is a good thing we don't want london to feel like a different part of their lives that they're not going back to so her birthday's in october and she was like but none of my friends from london will be able to come to my birthday so we're coming back for a london birthday that's a great idea yeah for london birthday And we were actually like, it's two hours on the train.

We're going to try and come up at least once a term to do a weekend in London. Because also, because I work here and because Rose is going to be coming up, working here and doing stuff. You don't want it to feel like it's the thing for us. And also, actually, she's getting older. If it's like school or days and you're going up to do a bit of last leg or something, you could come up with her, ask your childminder to go,

oh, do you mind sitting with her in the hotel room where I record the show? Because she doesn't want to come to that shit. And then you can then have the weekend with her. whatever exactly so that doesn't feel like an end it was the teachers it was quite sad with she's there's amy who's like um one of the teaching assistants she was like i'm never going to see amy again that was like when it really hits her actually yeah because because obviously it's easy to say we keep in touch with your friends but she did invite amy to her birthday ice skating in october i don't that's a tough one for amy to attend it i think she's overconfident about amy's

attendance. I'm going to say that. That's the thing. It's good for them, though, in a way, though, because life is all about change at end of the era. I think it's a very healthy thing, especially when you get into the world of work, if you move a lot and gain experience in different places, you end up having more opportunities, earn more money normally because you can negotiate better fees at different companies. And I think if you're comfortable with change, it's an incredible skill. Yeah. Obviously, everything can tip the Apple cart. If you move them school every year, then they have no sense of where they are, but I do think it's, you know, and she'll learn that after about

three weeks, and no offence to Amy, she won't give a fuck about Amy. No, exactly. But she doesn't know that now. But she's got a vote with Amy. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And I think the thing with it is also is like, she's young enough, she'll make new friends. That's fine. I'm not worried about it.

But one of the problems with the move is you are currently before you move surrounded by all the things you'll miss and all the people, you're basically, you've split up with someone, you're still living with them for two more months. So you're constantly, you go to the shop and you bump into someone and they're like, oh, you've got, are you moving? You're constantly having to give this news to people. Poppitch readers. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You know I'm fucking moving, man. Like a fucking boomer's still on email, email newslet. Have you found as well? Because, look, this is my impression of it. I think the kids will be absolutely fine. Okay. they'll be a bit upset but they'll get on it they're way more resilient than adults you know two questions one have you found that some of your friends in east london have been a little bit not non-complementary about the move but actually it shines a light on them and like when anything happens they go well am i happy here and then it gets a little bit of like well you're saying i don't think this is a good place to live actually i'm going somewhere else and that's fine but it does it the implication is you think it's a good place to live dear it's quite weird isn't it because it's like have you ever left

a job and you worry that when you're leaving, you're essentially saying to someone, you know this job you do? I think I'm better than this fucking place. Well, exactly. Yeah. But a job's slightly different because you get different pay and it might be location of the commute or you might want to shift industry slightly. But where you live, where you pick to live normally is go, I want to live here. I think this is a good place to have and there's a number of different reasons for that. Almost everyone has said. So a lot of the kind of people we know nearby who've got older kids have said

we almost did that and then it was too late by the time they're kind of in secondary school you can't do it there was their view so quite a few people and you were like oh right I saw you as a real Victoria Park loyalist

do you know what I mean some people you go oh when I tell you you get it but you don't get it in the sense of you don't think you just can't understand it this is your jam still. Yeah.

And some people you think, oh, you're considering this and this isn't, this hasn't helped your confidence in staying. Yes. And it's nothing to do with you, but that's how they, everyone reacts to that differently. Yeah. There's a slight thing. When I left Manchester, I stayed a year after uni. I kind of left because quite a lot of other people were leaving.

I didn't want to be the last one there. Yeah, I think that's very common with Unitown. Because it becomes less and less fun and more and more tragic when you're still trying to like the student bar yeah but other question josh you're such a loving father that you are really worried about the kids have you thought about how you're going to feel when you're down there because you you're not going to have the same sort of support network of friends around the corner and your usual coffee shops i don't see my friends as much as i hardly see my friends but you know they're there and that you don't see them because you're busy but what i'm saying is

when you're down there you will need to you know yeah go to the new gym or go to all these new things where you have to sort of introduce yourself. How are you about that and Rose? So that's a good question. You might forget about you have to process that because you're looking at the kids the whole time. We know four couples who live in Exeter that are already friends with. Perfect.

So what's good about that is one of my main fears of leaving is if I had to move to someone where I didn't know anyone. Yeah. And the thought of going to the school gates and thinking, I need to find some fucking friends. I'm like going to have to play squash with this man because it's a little sport he likes. Yeah, exactly. The thought of that, oh, maybe I will get into paddle after all because I need to find

some fucking friends. I don't think I could do that. So that pressure's off. That's good. Yeah. And the pressure of like, I'm a bit worried about like going to the school gates and all that kind of stuff because in a way you're new. Do you know what I mean?

And all that kind of stuff. Also, you're off the telly in a bit of a novelty. Oh yeah. I saw your old. I was on Pop Bitch. Why did you leave? It was a lovely house. They haven't got Poppitch down there. Yeah. Oh, that's good then. I think it's very positive at this stage, John.

It is. I found it very, I'd say the leaving picnic, because they do it was the end of year picnic at the end of school. I'd underthought how emotionally intense I was going to find that. You really feel stuff, don't you? And on the surface, you wouldn't think about it. I really feel it. How does Rose deal with it? Is she a bit? She's fine. My daughter's best friend gave her a present bag with her three favorite books and her favorite soft toy. And in the books she'd written, like, on the opening page, like, to my daughter, like, a message about how much she was going to miss her.

And that's fucking tough because she's such a lovely girl and they've got such a great friendship. And you're like, I've done this. Yeah. And I know it's the right decision but it's still difficult to not think fucking hell I've taken this kid's best friend away

and stolen their best toy Oh I think it was a replacement Oh fucking give it back Is it real sentiment or not I'm joking Well I think that's better actually Because what you don't want is a child to over-emotionalise it

And then go have my comfort teddy And then go when they've got the comfort teddy She's in Eastland going I really wish I had my fucking teddy actually Yeah But also, they've been FaceTiming, so that's fine. Modern world. Well, well done, Josh.

That's a very positive next installment. Yeah. And I'm looking forward to... It all fucking through. Have you done all the surveys? Yeah, it's all looking good. We're aiming to complete before the school term starts. Radon gas?

How's the radon gas? I remember that from buying a house. Radon? He's in a radon area, Rob. What the fuck is? I've never heard of radon any other time than buying a house. How much raidon is I grew up on Dartmoor, which is high radon. High radon.

I used to have a radon detector in my bedroom when I was. growing up. Of course you did. That's for another week. Right. I'll see you a bit. Bye.