Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - THE SECRET HOUSE MOVE TAPES: PART 2

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

In the summer of 2025, Josh Widdicombe, despite countless protests over the years that he would not be moving out of London, and much to the amusement of his friend Rob Beckett, finally accepted the inevitable and began the search for a new family home beyond the M25… The evidence of these conversations were so secret, that they were expected to be confined to the archives forever…. However, these classified audio recordings have been uncovered and can be released to the public for the first time…. What we present to you here, are the secret house move tapes… ***For the safety and security of some of those involved, some of the names, dates and locations contained within have been changed, and in some cases redacted*** CASE FILE 07041997 - Interview 4: Date: 19th August 2025  CASE FILE 07041997 - Interview 5: Date: 2nd September 2025  CASE FILE 07041997 - Interview 6: Date: 18th September 2025 A Keep It Light Media Production All enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In the summer of 2025, Josh Whitacom, despite countless protests over the years that he would not be moving out of London, finally accepted the inevitable, and began the search for a new family home beyond the M25. For the safety and security and security, of some of those involved, many of the names, dates and locations contained within have been changed. What we present to you here are the secret house move tapes. Here we go, Rob. DeCrop Miles. Josh Whitacom, how is your house move? Last time you had an offer on your house, was it?

No, we've gone beyond that, Rob. We're a week from moving. Actually? There's been a bit of a... This has gone so quick. I know, but the first fly has appeared in the ointment in the last two weeks. Oh, no. There's been two ointment flies.

Oh, not the ointment fly. The first was when I was on holiday, and we couldn't get a building certificate for our extension. Right, so that hasn't been signed off? Yeah. The kitchen you did before Christmas? Yeah. Yeah. I had to go to the guard.

I did value there? I did value. Sold the house very quickly due to it. It's completely done. It's completely done. It makes no logical sense for someone to leave a house looking as good. No, tell me about it. You'll come to fly ointment number two coming up.

Right, come on. Oh man, this guy just wouldn't sign off our building certificate or return my calls or anything. Okay. And I had to escalate it to his manager, Rob. And was this when you was on holiday? This was all going on on holiday. You only had five nights away? I know.

One of them was spent. Well, I've been trying to do this for like two weeks. Yeah. Getting the evidence, sending it to him, getting totally nothing back. Oh, mate. Speak to the manager. He says, sorry, is that the Joshua Nickham? Here we fucking go.

You got sway? Is your name got sway? Half an hour it took him. Knocked it out. No, really? Yeah, he was like, send me the evidence. I sent him the evidence. He was like, yeah, it's all full.

fine, there you go. So was the other guy doing it because it had a bit of a problem with you or just overworked? No, I don't know. I don't know. But also they're thinking we don't want to have stuck

us off on last leg of the podcast. No, I don't think they were thinking that, Rob. I think they were thinking, just do this because then this guy will stop fucking us off. Well, yeah, obviously, it's what, if the work's been done and you've got the evidence, it's all done,

it's just a signature, isn't it? Oh, God. So well done, though. That must have felt good when that come through. That felt good. How long did that feeling last? Because when I... Removals have been tough, Rob.

Removals. It's so expensive to move to Exeter from London. It's a long way, isn't it? Yeah, so you've got an overnight, everyone. You've got to pay for the removal of people's hotels, haven't you? Yeah, of course. So they're going to pack it up in the morning, drive... No, they're not going to pack it up in the morning, Rob.

Do you think you could pack your stuff up in the morning? How many people do you think you'd need to pack up your house in a morning? Not as many, though, because we've got a skip. Yeah, I know you've got a skip. I talked to you about skip the other time. Yeah. Pack up Monday, Tuesday. Right.

Travel Wednesday. Is this next week? We're talking? No, week after. Right, okay. Pack up Monday, Tuesday, travel Wednesday. Yeah. Unpack our beds.

Yeah. They stay over and then they do the full rest. They stay in your house? No. All right, sorry. But they unpack your beds? Yeah. So you can stay.

Yeah. And they do the rest of the house? Thursday. So it's four days you've got his feet. It's four days work, Rob. Plus a fucking lorry and a van. How much is it? The first quote we got, I couldn't fucking believe my ears.

Because also as well, I'd say you've got a lovely house in East London. I wouldn't say you've got low, it's not like a giant mansion with loads and loads of furniture. And it's a normal terraced house. I can tell you how many cubic feet we've got of stuff. because I've had four separate people estimate it as I've tried to get a cheaper price. So how much does it cost? Because what I'd say, I'd say you've got a medium to large house.

Oh, hold my hands up. It's five bed. It's a five bed house. So it's a large family house. But the bedrooms aren't big. But they've got beds in. Okay. Although my son's bed is built in.

That's leaving. So that's just a... But Adrian loved you built that. Yeah. Wasn't Adrian. But yeah. And I'm going to say... Yeah.

We've been through four firms now. I've had to slowly knock it down and knock it down and then the last one knocked it back up so we've gone with a third firm It's mental You've gone for the cheapest quote Yeah Now are you worried though

That they start coming in knocking walls I'm gonna obviously They turn up look Rose hang on your bubble wrap They've not brought bubble wrap Also one of the higher quotes Was like I can't take a cooker You're like are you fucking kidding me

You can't take a cooker He's like I need a specialist to carry that cooker A specialist to carry a cooker Are you fucking kidding me? It is a fancy cooker though, isn't it? It's got handles. I'd say the fancy of the cooker, they're easier to move because it's just heavy. Exactly.

You just put it in the corner of the van, don't you? Exactly. Jesus Christ, okay. So that's sorted now. Yeah. The guy today, who was too expensive. Yeah. He said, oh, we can't transport neon.

Neon? A neon writing we've got on the wall. Yeah. Can't transport neon. Right. You just can't do it. You're like, well, three people, People have told me they can do it.

And one of them was cheaper than you. Did you say that to him? No. They are very fragile neon signs, to be fair. I know. That's your job. We've got loads of fucking glass. It's like going out on stage, can't look a bit drunk.

I can't do it when they're drunk. I can't do it. You're a removals firm. Anyway, you know, they call it quite the most stressful experience. of your life moving house. Yeah. Me and Rose had a huge route today. Why?

Huge. You said this is all your thought I don't want to move? No, no, because I do want to move. We have very different attitudes to bumps in the road. Right, okay. What are your different attitudes

to bumps in the road? And I'd say... You more neon and she's more cooker. Rose is you and I'm Lou. Right. Well, maybe not. Maybe Lou's not as weak as me, but certainly Rose is you.

So what was the argument about? So there's some back and forth over what comes included in the house with the people buying the house. Right, okay. That I won't go into because I don't think it's fair. Yeah. My attitude is I'm so desperate for everyone to like me. Just leave it and let them have it.

I'm willing to bend over backwards and do myself out of money. Yeah. Just because I want to be liked, which is absurd. Yeah. Because I don't even know who these people are. Yeah. And Rose's attitude is the moment someone goes at her, for instance,

complains about something like, I think that is naught to 100 angry. It is a bit of a grey area when you move out of our house, especially if you've got a nice feature things in it. But what I think is as long as you tell them this doesn't come included, that does,

then it's up to them to either agree or not or ask for less money or go, we'd like to have that, how much can we... Well, no, so we had to fill in this fixtures and fittings thing. I actually think my balance on this is, I think basically what we've got is a situation where both sides have presumed different things and then that is all it is.

Which is the point of the fixtures and fittings list. Exactly. So the fixtures and fittings list come out and they've gone, we've named a price on quite a lot of stuff that we would happily take with us, but if you want it, we'll sell it to you. Yes, which is what the fixture and fitness list is for. And they've gone. We'd like the bricks, please, of the building. Yeah. We would quite like to keep the bricks. And we've gone, sorry, the location is so good that we're taking everything. You've paid for the location. to have a house there that is just

the phone do you think you are Queen Elizabeth the second fuck it now there's a bit of back and forth but that's for the solicitor to deal with not you guys isn't it

well we the estate agent called me and said look they've oh and then they've gone right what do you want they've said they'll give you this and then you and Rose I'd submitted the list

via the solicitor then they got in touch with the estate agent we're having chats through the estate agent right and now they've asked you and Rose to make a decision

on what you want to do about a certain item and you two have gone at it with each other. Well, no, it's because we could never run a business together because I'm too weak and Rose is too strong. But we've gone a long way without having a mega argument considering a moving house. Yes, under what is extreme pressure over the summer holidays

with a new school looming. Yeah. So will you be down there in time for them to start school? Oh, yeah, Rob. Oh, yeah. We get there 48 hours before the school. term starts can I make a suggestion

yeah is it worth maybe while they're maybe staying in a hotel or an Airbnb while you're down there whilst they're unpacking so that then you have a bit of fun at a nice hotel where there's breakfast and the kids can be sorted out well that would be helpful but we've got a cat haven't we yeah what's happening with a cat

so we've got to look into how we get the cat down there but basically you're putting a cat you have to put it in a little cage and drive it in a cage for five hours and drive it down not five hours four hours but you know do you need to be out of this house on the same days you need to be in that house yeah so the tradition is the way it works you move out of midday yes of course but there's no crossover to it's all happening one day it's all happening in one day yeah so could do cat not go to the neighbor for a few days and you can't collect it a week later what come back up to london to collect a cat well you're going coming back and forth quite a lot anyway, well?

No, because we can't just put a cat. Our neighbour, who we know has got two cats. Right, you can't just do that. So we've got to take the cat with us. And then the truth is, you've got to have the cat in the new house in one of the rooms. Yeah.

And so we can't then just all fuck off to a hotel and leave the cat on our own in the new house. That's like mental. Also, as well, it's very hard to introduce the cat into the house when there's loads of men and women. Yeah. unpacking and loading, like... Yeah.

Because you're going to have to put the cat in the cat carrier when they arrive to pack up the house, really, probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So it doesn't get scared off. No, we can lock her in a room, can't we? Yeah, but then when you arrive at a new place, you can lock the room. We'll have to just say to them, do that as the last room

and we'll put her in the box as late as possible. Right, okay. Fucking hell. Could Rose go to a hotel you just out of the house? What, just me and the cat? Yeah. It'd be fun. When we moved into our house,

who went to centre parks, it with the removal of men and just unpacked on my own. And what did you do about your cat? Well, we couldn't sell our other house. Because there was loads of problems. This was when old... Liz Trust. Oh, Liz Trust.

So loads of people dropped out because it exchanged the mortgage... We had a terrible... Anyway, we left him there for a week in our house, but it was empty apart from his bed and his food. That wasn't as swift a move. Yeah. And then so I was just going back and forth feeding him, but I was driving past that house a lot because it was only around the corner.

Yeah. Not you guys can't... can't nip up to East London to feed the cat but also you're going to be out the house anyway Jesus Christ Okay So that's where we are But you're due to exchange next week

Would you to complete on the third Would you to exchange imminently Once the fixtures and fittings thing has This is the 19th So once the fixers and fit That's the only thing holding it up basically Everything's correct at the other house I don't know

I don't know You know when you're like You know what I'll say though It's never easy But I'd say at the moment You've nailed it so far Yeah totally totally have you got to get the school uniform the new school uniform oh we've done it the kids excited

yeah they can't wait because they don't really understand that it's a stressful thing in the way that we do i suppose yeah they're really looking forward to it because the school's not in london the school's got like loads of green space and stuff yeah so it's like a completely different the exact lifestyle that they need and you're supplying them so the stress will be worth it exactly but the problem is rob after this yeah i've got to apply to hackney council yeah to get all the parking bay is closed outside our house. Oh my God. You have the moved...

But you do need to do that soon because... I know. Well, if they say no? No, they have to say yes, I think. The council. When have the council ever done anything that you wanted them to do? Yeah. Ever.

I know. They have to say yes. Good luck. Well, that... I don't think it's a way yes or know it. I think it is. If you do it, they... You've got to make sure you're doing it with enough notice.

Well, this is the thing. The removal people, Rob. Yeah. can do it but they'll charge you understandably the 20% VAT part of me's thinking I'll pay that 20% VAT to not have to do this and fuck it out myself

They can organise it with a council Yeah How much is that? Just do that 20% of a few hundred quid Why is it only 20% Because they'll charge the VAT on top of the fee Because you're going to be paying it anyway If you do it

If I do it It's not a business thing so I don't have to pay VAT It's not VAT Yeah do that Yeah I know what am I thinking Because it's all on them then Yeah Oh imagine if I've got it

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I'd say it's a manic energy. Do you remember when we talked the other day about... Well, for listeners, so they're aware, we were supposed to... record at 1pm and it's been pushed back to three. Yeah. Because what are you doing today? It's the day before the move. And so you're packing up the house with mover people and you also scheduled a three hour podcast record that you've already moved to two hours. Yeah. Yeah. And what was you doing last night? Well, should I take you through from, yeah. Because what I'm trying to say is obviously moving house and packing up the house is always stressful for people. I would say you have not

use bubble wrap on yourself for this move and you've left yourself very exposed to not only work in either side of the move working during the move but what you've got to bear in mind is I've had so much time off this summer that I can't if I keep going I can't work at the moment

well you are moving the first week of September which is when all the work starts again and all the kids are back at school and you're moving to Exeter okay let me take you through Monday Tuesday Wednesday. That's perfect. Well, it's Tuesday.

So I didn't know. You can look into the future. Well, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what's happening of the future. Okay. So Monday. Yeah.

Wake up. Thank the Lord. Thank the Lord. Gratitude. Great. One of your non-negotiables at, isn't it? Yeah. Waking up.

Well, until one day, I will have lost the negotiation. Yeah. One of my non-negotiables. Yeah. Everything's negotiable, though, in it, really? It is really. So anyway, I was asleep.

I woke up. Okay, so woke up really early because Rose is going to have a worse day than me So I got up at 7 to make her a cup of tea Right, what's Rose doing Monday? I'm doing a league of their own Which is now filmed up in Manchester Which is now filmed up in Manchester

And you're in London trying to move to Exeter Before your nationwide tour Yeah, A-L-O-R-I-P Yeah, the last series Last series So I'm going to Manchester But before that we've got to get quite a lot of stuff done So we've got an odd job man coming.

All woman. Well, we booked him. Yes, it was an odd job man. It was a hard job man. I take that back. So he turned up at 8.30, yeah, or nine, we had our removal people turning up. What's our job man doing? What's odd job doing?

He's taking down some like pendant lighting, stuff like that, ready for the move. He's like unscrewing mirrors. Yeah, the kind of stuff I'm real man, he's not me having to go at you. I would have to get odd job as well. but the kind of stuff I'm a fellow little boy like you. Yeah. He was really good. Just a man, probably play rugby, big thick fingers, great at sex.

Exactly, yeah, he was. Actually, he was small and smiley. I loved him. Really? He was really nice. That gives me hope. Yeah, exactly. So he turned up.

Then the movers are on their way as well. I've blocked out two spaces outside the front using my car and a neighbor's car that we're then going to move for the movers because they needed two spaces. Nice. Okay, good work. Well done. And then it transpires. They actually don't need them out the front of the house today. So we're going to save those spaces for another day.

So I can't use my car for a day. Okay. That's fine because you're not driving to them from Manchester, are you alone? No. We have to show the odd job man around. We then have to show the removal people around. They're going to start packing. Can I interject, Josh, when I spoke to before,

and I can't remember if we did it on the podcast or not, there was a little bit of issue where potentially things may not complete. No, so they are completing. there was a problem with the parking at one point for today. Yeah, but that wouldn't stop the move, would it? Well, I had to get in touch and say, I can't suspend the parking outside of our house because get this, I'd looked on Hattney Council's website

about suspending parking, yeah? Said seven days notice, right? Yes, I go on with seven days notice. It won't accept it. I reread. Seven working days notice. Oh, my God. I've got a problem with working days.

You can't put seven words. working days, because that makes people think it's going to be a week. When you see the word seven days. Yeah, yeah. But did it just say seven days or did it say seven working days? It said seven working days. Well, yeah, they can't be clearer than that, Josh. Well, no, but I just think the number's confusing.

I agree, but then the word working counteracts the confusion of the seven. I managed to book off the Wednesday for them to tell. The council as much as any same thinking man, you know, but you've got to stick up from there. Can I complain about council to you quickly? Yeah, go on. We put our bins out, plastic. it. They didn't collect it. So we put on the website, our business didn't get collected. And then they just went, yeah,

it wasn't the right stuff in it. And it was. But that's case closed. Oh, God. Gave all down. Thank God you got a skip. Oh, no, that was after the skip, much to my anger. Heartbreaking. Back to your working days. So you can't suspend. Can't suspend. But that was just today. So yesterday, I did all that stuff. And then I had to run, get a shower, leave. Yeah. I had to pack all my stuff so that it didn't get packed. Rose's got the kids all day.

Rose's got the kids all day. Sure, that's pure babysitter day, that is. Surely get someone in to help. Rose doesn't really have to do much, but it's just a nightmare day because it is. Kids in the house, basically, because you need to be in the house. They might get packed up.

They might get packed up. What's happening with a cat? Oh, mate. So, we'll come to that. So then I have to go and post the contract at the post office. Sorry, was you buying a house in 1973? Had to post a contract. And then I had to go to my good friends at the bank

to do a chap's payment to check the difference between the two. Yeah. And then I had to get on the train to Manchester. Oh, my God. On the way to Manchester, obviously you do a briefing call for a show where they tell you what's going to be covered. I said, can you just email across the stuff? Yeah, yeah.

Obviously, I couldn't find the email. It had been about a week since the call. And also, I think I gave away that I hadn't done much prep by texting him at 2pm on the day to say, can you resend the email that I've been working on? Yeah, that I've been working on. In the maelstrom of doing it all, I deleted the email. I was thinking about this other day.

Compared to when I first started doing comedy and getting TV works, the amount of stress it would put on my life to now when obviously your family and your children supersede that. So I was like doing bits and balls with the kids and I'm doing a light live at the Apollo, the Christmas episode, and they said, oh, what music do you want to come out to? I remember taking about a week before listening to difference. I went, Edward John 7 to Christmas, Bosch, replied within a minute,

won't think about it ever again. See you then. Exactly. So I get on the train, do my live at the apartment. in my League of the Rhone prep. By the way, I'm not saying that I'm super cool and confident and it'll be fine. I'm still petrified. And just so you know how busy I am, I'm doing live at the Apollo the day before you.

I haven't even engaged with the fact I'm doing it yet. I haven't got to the point of being asked what song. I'll tell you that for free. I don't know what I'm saying either. I am in the middle of a tour, so I'll pick 20 minutes out of that. Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll be fine. And so then I have to write for League of the Own on the way to League of the Own.

Yeah. I'm quite manic by this point because I've done so much that day. So I can't sit and like, relax and read. I make the pre-show playlist for my talk because I know that's a task I've got to do. That's a classic sign of overworking where you create more jobs for yourself or unnecessary. And I'm fully aware I'm doing it as I'm doing it.

I'm absolutely buzzing off it. It's better to distract myself than engage with the current feeling, which is panic and fear. Yes, that's enough songs. And that'll be the middle bit and then we'll play that song as the line. And I'm like, okay, then I get to League of Their Own. Guess who's in the next fucking dressing room? Romish, he hosts it.

Mr. fucking tumble. It's he on League of their own? No, he's recording C. Veebies up there. You say hello to? I knocked. I knocked and he came to the door. Yeah, as Justin or Tumble?

Yeah, Justin on his door. Yeah. He came to the door. He just finished filming. Yeah. By the way, everyone was like, oh, sure we not? No one knocked. I fucking knocked.

To the moment I knocked. You're desperately trying to distract his. from how you actually feel. Let's go and hunt out Tumble now. Yeah, at the moment I knocked, Tom Davis is like a rat up a fucking drain pipe for the photo. Big rat. Big drain pipe.

So he came out at Davis to have a chat at Tumble. Oh, Davis was there. Once he'd seen that Tumble was taking visitors. What's Tumble like? Lovely. Absolutely lovely. I said, can I have a photo? He said, yeah, and he put on his waistcoat and his tie on again.

He's got to do it on brand. That was great. Did the show. Intense. got a bad neck by the way at this point of course yeah yeah because of the stress yeah the show finishes at uh half 10 yep straight back in the car to london okay that's nice four and a half hour drive yeah so that was last night today's today's last night get home at half two wake up at seven have to take barrel to the vets this is an insane decision go on we booked her in for a vaccinations

the day before leaving oh yeah you don't want to catch here that exit a polio whatever it is a cat can get and also when i get there they go you'll need to do more vaccinations in four weeks. Oh, what the fucking a cat, get a pisser. Do you all that fucks me off? My dogs have better health care than me. If it limps, lose right down the vets. If I'm limping, you couldn't give a fuck.

Dogs get private elf care. You're talking about getting you put down. It wants to get to be neutered. So, I'd just go to the vets with Beryl, come back. Kidneys flush, you're just vaccinations. Vaccinations, but also they gave me some anti-anxiety pills for her for the move. You should have had some. you should have lick them up

stick them in your milk Actually, I've been fine Rose has been very stressed but in these situations You've been fine have you I'm good in a crisis Are you? Yeah, I come into my own

Because I'm not imagining What could go wrong I'm just dealing with it Yeah, but then I think you explode In about three weeks Yeah, I look forward to it Live at the Apollo Coming out on stage

When I haven't done any work on my set Josh has walked on the stage And his pants covered in his own shit I've not seen his new tour Also, we didn't clear that Elton John song that he walked on to And he's been pissing in a team hug And he's pouring out his own piss So then come back

The movers are doing Just boxing up everything around us Yeah, it's mental Oh, by the way, we haven't managed to get them parking spaces We managed to get them two but they needed four So they went into a bay they weren't allowed into I watched a traffic warden come along And take their number plate and walk on

that's fine that's fine that'll be billed to you we've agreed that'll be billed to me before so where are you sleeping tonight is there going to do in this hotel room Rose and the family have got a double hotel room barrel in the hotel no barrel at home but she's got anti-exiety mates for tonight as well I don't know just barrel in a big fucking empty house

not even a sofa to sit on the fish and the hamster as well the fish and the hamster fish are getting flushed you're not taking them down I we're taking the fish down yeah I've got to bag them up tomorrow morning and I get there at 8am and empty the fish tank How are you getting the cat The fish and the

It's just like the fox of the hen Yeah So the fish get bagged up And they get put in a bucket Right In their bags Yeah Yeah

And that goes in the back Of the removal truck No In your boot Well, Ali You know that I've got a gig Tomorrow night No

You're geeking the night You're moving house Did you not know that I've got a tour show Your first tour show No like one of the last previews because I talked about pulling it

and then I felt incredibly bad because I just don't like doing that at all. I think you've got, if anyone else went to work the day they moved their whole family to exit, you'd go, what are you doing here? Yeah, well, we didn't get the completion date until five days before you're like, I can't pull this five days out.

And when did the kids start school? Friday. You know what, respect. You are dealing with this really well. This is wild. So tonight we sleep in a hotel. Yep. Tomorrow morning, we've got to be back there at 8 a.m.

Yeah. To do our last bits. The guys show up at 9. Yeah. They'll do the last bits of packing up. Yeah. I'm obviously not driving Rose and the kids down to Exeter. No.

Because of the tour show in Radlett. Who's driving them down? Well, my tour manager, Ali, I've actually said, you don't do the tour tonight. You take Rose and the kids down to Exeter. And in that will be the fish. Oh, Ali's mum's do they be you. there? I'll take them with me to the Radlet.

Like the duvays? Yeah, yeah, that'll be the other. So the tour managers would have to move duvays to the Radlet vehicle. Well, I'll tell you what the Adlet vehicle is, Rob. My car, because I've obviously got my car to Exeter. Oh, yes. So you've got a tour manager driving you and your car to Radlet and then Radlet to... No, no, I'm

going to drive to Radlet. Meet the tour manager. There's no point him turning up to drive me to Radlet. No. Where is fucking Radlet? I've not heard of Radlet. It's like 20 minutes from Watford. It's like Hertfordshire. So it's near London. Go north-east on the way to South West. When the tour was booked, it was a lovely local final preview. So they all get in there.

I'm going to take the hamster in his cage to radlet. Well, I don't know. The fish could probably go with the removers. Doesn't really matter where the fish is. I sit in the hamster keeping company. The fish are in a bag with water and in a bucket It doesn't really matter where they are

So they could go Yeah, right Beryl's with Ali and the family How does Ali feel about this? Is he all right with this? You've met Ali He's so great guy Fucking chilled

I've actually got him to He doesn't also He's thinking I've got to watch this show 80 tone No Right I've got a bone to pick with you What

Ali was supposed to be doing My fucking tour Managing on Wednesday No he's always been in for my tour No Yeah he has Daytime He was doing me in the daytime

you in the evening. What was he doing? I'm doing a daytime corporate. I'm hosting a conference, right? And then Ali was going to meet me in Birmingham. I was going to drive up. He was going to tour manager the show. And then at 2 o'clock when it finished,

it was going to drive to get you and take you to Radley. You've stolen my man. Well, he is mine. Well, he's not, you know. He was only on L. No, he was mine from Heron and L. Oh, yeah, he wasn't. He had to spend at you.

No, I had Nick, but he went off with them, Foles. Yeah, so that's why my tour manager's changed, isn't it? Oh, it is, yeah. I knew some of it was up. He's driving two goldfish and a cat rather than you. Probably be funny, I've not done a gig in two months. So then I get to radlet it. Yep.

Might probably do a bit of prep for this tour show, because I'll be honest, it hasn't been at the forefront of my mind. When does the tour start? Next Sunday, week on Sunday. Two days before live at the Apollo. Yeah, absolutely. And it's always good to go in. to a tour refreshed and relaxed.

Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. But I don't get in mind you up, but you are doing the right thing. It's just, that's why houses are stressful. You never, can never pick it to suit your schedule. No, exactly. It's life getting in the way. So, right, so you're going to Radley and then.

I was just doing that something really nice to me. She said, because I'm basically out of the house from 11 a.m. And I don't need to be in Radlet for six and a half hours. Oh, because you've got to be out of the house. It's not yours anymore from me. Because I don't want to just sit there in a fucking bleak old house on my own. The barrel's doing it. for the night?

Yeah, I know, I feel bad. Oh, God. Keep barrel away from the cat in the hamster. It would be the only thing for her to get. Do you know what? I think we'll lock her in one room. Yeah, put them in cells. Yeah, exactly.

Bell-Marsh lockdown. Put her in a carpet room where she'll definitely shit on the floor and then we'll have to deal with that as our last thing in the house. So then I'm driving to Radlet. Rose has booked me. She found me near a spa. So I'm going for like a spa tree. Oh, that's nice.

A kill the afternoon, haven't I? Yes. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. So I'm looking forward to that. Do you think you'll be able to relax? I mean, it's the ultimate test. Trying to lay down and get a massage on your phone check and see if the move's gone through.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Fucking hell. Oh, that's nice. And then I've got Radlet. Then I have insured the other tour manager. On your car? Joe, on my car. And I have realized, I've only insured him for one day.

and he will be driving after midnight, so I've got to ensure him for a second day after this. Yep. And then he's going to drive me to Exeter. Yep. So I'll arrive at the house at about 2 a.m. Is he going to stay with you the first night? So he's going to drive, not to my house,

he's going to drive to his hotel in Exeter, and then I'll take over the driving to drive to my house. Good decision. I'll wake up at 2 a.m. in a car and then start driving. Do you remember when you first moved to your new home? I do, actually. They'll unload all the stuff on the Thursday. So we wake up on Thursday.

they turn up at like 8 or 9 a.m. and start just shoving the stuff in the rooms. But there won't be a bed though in the house? They're going to unload mattresses. Bed, so you can just sleep and then they come the next day at 9am and then just put the rest of the stuff in the house. Luckily, Ali is in Exeter because he's driven us down because I've got a tour show on Thursday night as well. Where?

Farnham Maltings. This is the last warm-ups. That sounds like a disease. That sounds like what you're going to get through stress. I've heard about Josh. He's at the council. That's all. He's got Farnham Maltings.

I have got three old. horses in my mouth, I've realized. Are you working Friday? No. Is that the proper school start date for the kids, or are they missing a day? No, my son isn't starting that day. He's starting on the Monday, but new kids in the, he's in reception. It's like a reception to year one.

Yeah. He's a school off site and then it's year two to year six on this site. Any new kids in year two, they're doing a few hours on the Friday to kind of bed in. Oh, that's nice. So at least you can be there to take your daughter then, that's the main thing, and then we've got a coffee morning, which I am going to be in a really weird space for the coffee morning.

Coffee morning? What at the school? Like when we pick them up at midday, it's like, let's all meet the parents. Can I say something to do that? It's okay if you don't talk at that. Because you're going to be so charged up. I think I'll be talking at 400 miles an hour. Has Josh Riddickham done a load of Coke and come to a coffee morning?

No, what I'm saying is when you're there, you'll be hyped up and you're going to be in tour mode, organize. It's okay to let the others speak and just breathe. And this is coming from a man never shuts up. But that's when I know that I'm, that would be a nice moment to sort of let it settle. Because you don't have to talk.

There's no expectation of you. You're not performing. You're just a dad at a school chatting and listening. You know what I mean? I forgot something we did today as well. We did an extra thing today as well. Which is my daughter had done and my son had done presents and cards to their teachers and staff at the school.

What works from you? Do you know what? I'm totally fine because I've, you're not processing feelings. It's a bit like, you know how they say, organising the funerals sometimes quite helpful. Yeah, you're emotionally shut down. I have emotionally shut down.

But if that gets this week done, then do it. And then decompress, are you working Saturday? Oh, no. Yeah. What are you doing? Radio turn the park. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Where is it?

Chelmsford. Fuck. Which when you agreed to do it as an hour from your house, now it's five hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm quite like a cold on the train journey on my own, Rob. Well, I'll let you into a secret. You'll be doing a lot of them,

so don't blow your beans early doors. Sunday? Sunday, I'm off. Also, massive respect to Rose and Lou for, like, being in a new house, especially for Rose at the moment, with kids and you being in and out. And it's hard because a new house is always a bit overwhelming and a bit scary and stuff.

So well done to Rose. Yes, it's a lot on her. And then Monday, working with you. What are we doing Monday? Pounding hell. What's that? We've got Pounding Hell on the Monday. Oh, just doing the Pock.

Yeah, but are you doing that from home? No, you've got, never done it. And not from home, because I've got Sky Broadband is activated that day. Oh, well, that's quick, though, isn't it? Fair play to the people at Sky Broadband. Fair play. Do you know what? I was absolutely buzzing when they gave me that date.

I was going to say it's 11 a.m. We've got down to do, but I could do a bit earlier if you want to do a bit earlier. We don't need to do this on the podcast. We don't need to do it on the podcast, but that's the update. I reckon we're only due one more update, really, aren't we? Oh, to be honest, you said I'll only need to speak for about 10 minutes. You've done 27 minutes. Yeah, sorry about that.

It's all content we don't have to do another time, I suppose. No, well, good luck with the move. Cheers. And then we'll do maybe one more installment once you're in the house. Yeah, once you're in the house, and I've got broadband. We can release it. Right. Cheers, Josh.

Jesus. Fucking hell. case file 0704197 interview six date 18th of September 2025 so Josh the final part of the secret tapes here we are we're blowing the dust off these bad boys sticking them on the gramophone and pumping it out you have finally moved you are in the house moving days done complete in bosh kids at school bags unpacked Honestly, we've become insufferable people talking about how much better life is without London. Isn't that awful? Not awful, but I think it's just a release because you were in denial for so long. But now it's because you didn't want to get excited about it until it had fully happened. Now it's just a little release.

And London's, if it's for you, it's for you. But it got to the point where it wasn't for us. If you're tired of London, you're tired of life. And you're tired of life. I've been tired of life for years. How smooth was much smoother than anticipated. Good. We did loads of boxes on the day while they were unpacking.

So they were taking them out and then we were emptying the boxes. So we got rid of loads of the boxes early doors. We've now hit a bit of a plateau on the box. Can I let you into a little secret? Two years on, I've still got a box full of stuff in my garage stuff. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

I could see us heading that way. So that was very good. And then the first day at school on the Friday and then the Monday, They were good. It was all, you couldn't have asked for better, really, in that sense. There's an anecdote about us moving out on my cutlery that I'll save for another time that is one of the great anecdotes.

It's one of the great anecdotes. But I'll save that for another time. Is that all sorted now? That is all sorted. But I feel like I should let the dust settle because it's too funny. You should definitely let the dust settle. Yeah, it's too funny. Or at least a little follow-up LP,

a little follow-up of the uncertain house move things that we can't talk about just yet. It's a little bit too sore, a little bit too raw. That's too funny. But the good news is I've got five minutes stand up for the next tour. Right there. So would you say, because obviously, look, the thought now of me moving the kids somewhere, even if it's the right reasons, like what you did,

fills me with absolute panic and dread. Yeah, and I think you've dealt with it remarkably well. Way more than you would of a few years ago, and I think that's due to the hard work you've put in. Actually, now it's... more difficult two weeks in in a weird way because now you're like you can just leave all the boxes because you can just go do that tomorrow do you know what I mean I know but what I mean is now is like the we've done all the really difficult big stuff yeah and now we're slightly

not living in our own house if that makes sense yeah but it takes ages to turn a house into a home that is also what I would suggest I sound like I'm not fucking the expert on this but live in a house for a bit because yeah yeah don't make decisions on layout and redoing stuff until you've been in a year because silly little things like it's not until you've been in a house for a year you see where the sun goes in the garden yeah although i'd say a year might be a bit long but yes no no let's meet you at six months no look josh look what happened last time you did all your stuff and then you had to move house just pump the brakes relax and then live in the house for a year and then because

certain things you'll think you'll need you'll think oh actually no i don't and then you can make the right decision on doing it rather than rushing it the people that sold to us have been incredibly helpful. That's nice. And that's been a lot of fun. It's just great because like this weekend Rob Yeah. We used to like on Saturdays be like what the fuck are we going to do

Yeah. You remember like oh fuck the park. We could go to the transport museum But to be honest we'll have to Yeah, but that would be like Bus, Cross Busy Road, on Busy Tube On Saturday we went to a family fun day In the local park and then we went to the beach Lovely. And then we had fish and chips.

and you're like, this is great. But how far's the beach from you? 20 minutes. No. Yeah. Isn't that I'm not come and join you? Exmouth Beach. The house next door we can do Antendek.

Yeah, there is a house next door. Google Exmouth Beach, that's 20 minutes from our house. Yeah, okay. And also, we've got a garden. Yeah. Like we had a garden, but we didn't have a garden before. You had a yard with AstroTurf. Yeah.

And so you're like... Beautiful beach. The kids will just go out there and like ride their bikes and stuff. What on the beach? It's fucking mental, isn't it? Yeah, I know, but they've got great,

you should see their thighs. Great, awesome. Yeah, yeah. So what would you say the main benefits are and what would you say to people that are thinking

about trying to make a house move in summary? Because it's gone well. Don't do it if you don't believe in it. I've got friends in London who turning it over in their head. It's a bit like, this is a more extreme example.

But you know when you talk about someone who's like got problems with alcohol or something, you say, They're not, no one telling them that's going to help. They have to come to that decision themselves. Yes. You have to want to do it because it's a fucking huge effort.

Yes. You'll know if you know, if you want to move. Yeah. And if you do, this is the best money I spent on the house move. Yeah. Okay. Now, it is expensive, but we made more than our money back. Oh, okay.

This is a hot tip. I feel like I'm on Martin Lewis. Come on. This is my Martin Lewis thing. We had a buying agent, right? Right. I don't know what that is. So that is someone who does all your dealings with the estate agent for you,

does your bidding for you, talks you through the whole thing, they listen to what you say. And they help find properties as well, do they? Well, they didn't in this case because we found the property, but they can help find your property, right? But they man the kind of offer, all that kind of stuff. stuff.

They know the market rate and all that kind of stuff. So they saved us way more than they cost. So they take a percentage or... It's a fixed fee, but it's way less than the money they managed to save us by bidding sensibly by... And also, it meant that we weren't alone in the decision. Loads of people do it in America, but it's not really a UK thing. Okay.

So I would search one out. Because you will go, oh, that's an extra fee on top of the house. But it's not because you get the house cheaper or you say. It's the same way as we have managers and agents where they get a cut of your fee. Say someone wants me to do an advert for someone. They'll offer a fee and then normally my agent will get that fee up. But then what they've got up will exceed what their cut is anyway. So everyone wins.

Yeah, everyone wins. So that would be my little tip on that because it took an incredible amount of stress out of it. Especially if you're both working, you know, and doing stuff. Otherwise you're like dealing, I don't know how to deal with an estate. I hated it. The estate agents we did and we were selling our last house who were fucking shit and they were awful. So if you have someone that can deal with all that, it's much better. Well, well done, Josh. And don't forget your cutlery. We'll talk about cutlery in due course. In due course. Well, Josh, cheers. Happy move. Happy move. Well wishes to you and yours in your new home. Love the Beckett. Oh my word. Thank you. Right. See that, mate. Bye. Thank you.