Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - ⚽ Tony Mowbray’s Favourite Chocolate ⚽

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Welcome to Footballing Hell... Rob and Josh discuss the weekend football (or the bits that interest them) in the only way they know how. Chaotically, with not enough sleep, prep or insight... This week the question everyone has been asking - what is Tony Mowbray's favourite chocolate bar? The Manchester derby. How much Rob loves a massive bast*ard. How is Donnarumma only 27 years old? Should Maresca get a haircut like Gerry Francis? Why nobody will ever like Wrexham. And is Florian Wirtz good at football yet? Enjoy! If you want to get in touch with the show you can; Email us: [e-mail] And follow us on Instagram and Tiktok: @footballinghell FPL team -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ join the Footballing / Parenting Hell mini league ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ LEAGUE CODE: 1a5fc7 Leave us a 5* review and subscribe to the podcast please. You know the score by now. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Footballing Hell ⁠⁠⁠⁠is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Monday (don't worry - it's business as usual on Tuesday and Friday with the usual Parenting Hell episodes) A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello and welcome to footballing hell with Honey, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Can you say Josh Whittickham? Josh Whittickham. Well done. Hello. Hello.

What's happening here? Is this a new feature, Michael? So we have had the wife of a former Premier League footballer send in a voicemail. She's got her husband to do it, she's such a big fan of the show. Now, it's incredibly difficult to guess that off the back of that. We've made it even harder, I think. Because at least before it was like, who could Rob get access to? No, but now you're going as former Premier League footballer, his wife's Northern. Oh, yeah, that narrows it down.

I'm thinking you played for one of the big Northwest team. Are you going in this dry with no vacillade of clues? Well, is that right, Michael? So we're going to play a game of Who Am I? So you do get one lube-less vaseline-free guess. So you can just swing for the fences and it won't count. Can we hear it again? Can we hear it again? Yeah, you can hear it one more time. Honey, can you say Rob Beckett?

Rob Beckett. Can you say Josh Whittaker? Josh Whittickon. Well done. It sounds Australian first time out, but he didn't on the... Can you say... It's really northern, isn't it? Yeah, so I think...

It sounds Australian, didn't he? Yeah, I think she's from Manchester and he's from Australia. I think it's Harry Kuhl. Oh, she's from Emmerdale. The only Aussie that I know that married a sort of Northern English person is Harry Kul off my head. But we'll go for some clues.

Then I think Harry Kuhl is coaching somewhere insane at the moment. Yeah, but hey, this podcast is global. This podcast is global. But I don't think they'd be together during the season. Okay, right now. Okay, so you can both have one guess, blind guess. Okay, so Rob's gone Harry Kuhl, which is a great guess because it all fits. No loop, no loop guess, kill.

Okay. What's your no loop? Well, I'm just trying to think on Australian. Oh, I'm going to go with Mark Schwarzer. Okay. I think he played for Middlesbrough, didn't he? We don't even know he's Australian, really. We're really just hoping.

What, Mark Schwarzer? No, the person is. Oh, right. Oh, right. Sorry. I'm not that bad. I'm not Trump having to go at Barack Obama trying to get a birth certificate. Are you not a Mark Schwarzer-Truther?

I just have always had suspicions about Schwartz's nationality, and now I've got a platform to bring him down. Because he thought, if I say I'm English, I'm not getting an England team, but I could clean up on Australian caps. Yeah, he was all over the soccer ruse. Okay, go on, Michael. Okay, so I can say that you are both incorrect. Are we right about the Australian thing?

Well, I can't give you any extra clues. Mark Schwartz's wife's called Paloma. Paloma Schwarzer. Oh, wow. What a name that is. Outrageous. Not a fan of the show. If she is, there's only one thing to do.

Get a voice, no, Paloma. So now it's a classic game of Who Am I. This could take the hour. You're going to get... I would quite like it if it did. You're going to get... The thing about Michael, Rob, is... Is me and you jump out of a quiz the moment.

It's struggling. Michael is like, no. No clues. One clue each. Way on. He loves it. Go, Michael. So you get the first clue.

Either one of you can buzz in by saying your name. But if at any point you buzzed in, you're wrong, you are then no longer allowed to guess. Okay. The other person will get the clues. Okay. Clue number one. I was born in Melbourne, Australia.

On the 31st of December, 19. He was born in Bromley. 1965. Fuck it. Yeah, he's an oldie. Tim Cahill. Rob, Tim Cahill. Incorrect.

Tim Cahill wasn't born in 1965. So Rob's out. Rob is out now. It's a guy who went in the predator, isn't it? Do you want another clue or would you like to take a guess? Yeah, no, well, there's no point. Rob's out, so let's keep clue in. Oh, God, I can't go the next one?

Well, I can't go second, can I? I guess you can go second on this one. Let's keep it interesting. We're changing the format midgame. Right. Clue number two. I think that ship sailed, Michael. I started my career.

I started my career at Aston Villa in 1984, playing 111 league games and scoring two goals in my three seasons at the club. So Rob can't guess unless Josh. Off you go, Josh, because I know it actually. Is it Gordon Cowens? So have you made up words? Is that a guess? Are you speculating out loud?

No, why not? It's not Gordon Cowens. I'm not sure Gordon Cowens is Australian. I might be wrong. No, I'm just panicking. Rob does know he is. Okay, Rob. Any guess?

It started in 1984, Aston Villa. Well, there's two I can think of. Craig Johnson, the guy down the predator. Yeah. Or there's that Kevin Muscat, but I think Kevin Muscat is old enough. I think he's in his 50s, not his 60s. Craig Johnston. Incorrect.

Oh, we're in trouble. We're fucked. I think the next clue might be his first name, or he still might struggle. In 1987, I signed for Chelsea for a fee of $475,000, and I won player of the year in my first season at the club. I then went on to sign for Leeds United. What?

This is hard, Matt. Who is this? Oh, Liam Ridgewell text me. By the way, off topic. He went, oh, how did it go, mate? Did they guess me? Oh, no. Oh, no.

I went, took a couple of clues, but yeah. What can I say? No. Hang on. I think I can see the guy. Chelsea Leaves. What's the guy like a bit like Greek heritage, Australian, but like...

I don't know. I don't believe so, but I could... I don't know, Michael. I don't know. We're going to have to have another clue or you just tell her so it is. Okay, final clue, then I'll tell you. Okay.

I'm not Australia. Despite being born and raised in Australia, I represented England receiving 15... Oh, I know it. I know it. It's Tony Dundee. Dorigo's wife. Correct.

Oh my God. I genuinely think everything Josh has ever done in comedy has led up to that punchline. The name, the wife part, the 90s reference point. Oh, my, my wife. That's the thing. So he played for England.

That was a bit of a curveball, the Australian, wasn't it? What's his wife called? One second, let me check. Did she put it on the email? She can't sign off as Tony DeRigo's wife, surely. Not in 2026. Nah, it's a modern world. Maybe in 1992.

Tony DeRigo is such a great name, isn't it? There he is, 60 years of age. Heather Dorigo. It says on Wikipedia. Apologies if he's remarried. This is from Claire Dorigo, so. Oh, okay, that's awkward. Claire Dorigo signed off wife of Tony DeRigo in her email.

Who the fuck's Heather Dorigo? She hasn't got it. as a footer actually like when people have he, he, him. No, I think... She doesn't identify as the wife of Tony Dorigo, does she? Her footer says, send from my iPhone, please excuse Brevity. Well, yeah, I bet you can't get the name wrong from the iPhone.

I think Tony might have remarried. Let's just move on. Brevity's their daughter. Brevity's Dorigo. You're in a bit of trivia about Tony DeRigo. Josh, when you die at the BAFTAs, I want the clip of you to be led forward in a let-change. Is it Tony DeRigo's one? That's the best thing that's going to happen to me this week.

Well, it worked. If you are the wife of a footballer, send him in. Thank you very much. That was great fun. What a great new feature. You want my Tony Dorigo trivia. Go on. We once had him on Quickly Kevin, our 90s football podcast.

Oh, that's it you've cheated. You've actually met the man. Oh, right. And 10 years ago. And I paid him from my bank account. Yeah. And because he's listed as A. Derigo. Every time I go to pay anyone, he's the first name that comes up on bank account.

You could delete them, you know, unless you're hoping to... I'm not trying to pay him again. I might check him a tenant for that. I'd rather it disrupt every transaction for the last 10 years than re-ad it. I didn't know you could delete them. Oh, that's great fun. I've got a new feature as well. Do you want to hear my new feature?

Not for the start, just in general. Okay, I've got a new feature as well. Can I give you the title? Yeah. It's called, what's Tony Mowbray's perspective? favourite chocolate bar. And that's the whole feature? Yeah.

Will this reoccur weekly? No, it's a one-off. Right, okay. That's not a feature then, is it? No. That's just a question for today. I've watched a video of Tony Murray ranking his top five chocolate bars

and it's fucking brilliant. Okay. I want to play it to you. Let's play that and then I'll do mine after. Well, should we talk about the Manchester Derby? Is that not what people are here for? Nah, we'll do that in a minute. Okay.

I still don't understand why Harlan's goal was a goal or wasn't, and I can't be bothered to look it up. So. So Tony Mowbrie, is he a football manager? He was an Ipswich defender, and then he became a football manager in the lower leagues. He's been linked with Plymouth's job a few times. He plays quite nice, progressive football.

I think he probably got someone into the Premier League at one point, didn't he, Michael? I feel like, wasn't he West Brom at one point? Yeah, he was like a good, he's a good championship manager. You'd be pleased to have him in the championship. Maybe his time's been and gone. Okay, right, I've got him up here. He's really intense looking. He's really focusing on the guy.

Snickers, right? Four. Four? No. No. Steve. Two. I can eat a full box of mortise any day.

Addictive, yeah. Three. Listen, you know, I've grown sort of revels. I've got so many packets of. Revells in my garage at home. I've got boxes and boxes and boxes of family rebels. I've never got 400 bags of family rebels at home through people sending them to me. So the first three, he just goes two, three, four. Revells, he's opened up. And also, he's only got two more left to rate and there's three quarters of the clip left. Yeah. So he's going,

he's mid-reveles deep dive. Here we go. Coincidentally, they've asked Tony Mowbray, his top five chocolate or whether Tony because I'm going to answer, is Tony Mowbray famous for his love of chocolate? Hence they've done this. Or have they struck gold? Well, EFL have collaborated with this with ITV football? I think they've gone, have you ever

spoken to Tony about Revels? He's obsessed with Revels? Why do we do a clip with him where we do his top five and we sneak in Revels and just let him go? That's exactly what's happened. Listen to this. Listen to this. I was going to say a Maltesey. I always like a moddy, but orange is always being my favourite, to be honest.

So, yeah, I just like the, you don't really know what you got coming. Yeah, but I think so many rebels, I, you know, I would, I would eat something different than rebels if that makes sense. Because when you get, you, you know, dairy milk gives in. Hang on, they're giving him the last truck. That doesn't happen in this blind ranking. Oh, no, I know, I know. At this point, a man that's obsessive revels is about to put Rebels fifth.

And they're chucking dairy milk. Because he's had too many rebels and he's got a garage full of 400 family packs of Rebels. Well, the problem is, if you're bored of Revells, you're bored of chocolate because it's all the chocolate. Exactly. Dairy milk. I mean, dairy milk's an absolute hammer blow at the end. If you're obsessive revels, sorry, dairy milk's not scratchy the itch. If you're rolling the dice on your tongue with coffee and orange.

Also, if orange is your favourite, then you like a bit of. sugary centre. You've done too much chocolate if you've got down to orange because you've exhausted all other opportunities. Yeah, unfortunately, but I do like daddy milk because I just like snapping each one off and, yeah, I like boosts at the moment and I like even picnics. I like kick cats at the moment. I try to roll on to some of a different, yeah. Bring back a chocolate bar that's sort of discontinued But it's just come back, I think. So I'm a massive star bar fan. They disappear in a long, long time,

but they're hugely back on the market now, aren't they? And I'm a big star bar fan to the point of way. I know they're not off the market, but they're now back big time. But I love a star bar, yeah. I could do, yeah. He definitely, because also, like Tony Mowbray, right? I like Tony Mowbray, but I've not seen him much.

It's not like the Roy Keeney and Wright that are everywhere. No, no, no, no. And these sort of social media videos, it's normally like something that's really big and popular that then they do to everyone from Roy Keeney and Wright down to Tony Mowbray from a, you know, point of view. This one's been invented for Tony Mowbray. I've never seen a piece of social media

so tailed to a man that's obsessed with chocolate. Because no, I've not seen. seen a chocolate blind ranking anywhere. No. I'll ask a football manager that. What you want is Messi Ronaldo. You're not like, right, we're down at wherever he's at. I'm at EPS.

He's EFL, so he's not even at Ipswich. Blackburn, I think it was Blackburn. Michael, is he an active part or is he just a pundit? He's not, that's not his... Active, what, like a gang member? I mean, is he like a football manager currently? I think he's a commentator. I think he does...

Right. And they've not gone. Look, whoever you get, just do the five chocolate. And then they've lucked out with Tony Mowbray. No, they have gone. Mowbris here. Let's do that chocolate one. We've been laughing about in the office because he will unload on you.

Blackburn Rovers, he's currently manager of. He's the manager. He's the manager. No. It's like that pre-game, they've got him going through chocolate bars. That's insane. That is so unfair. He can't be the manager.

I told you he was a championship level manager. He looks outside the stadium. Like, he's going in. I thought he was going to watch a local. He's managed. He's got to play a game. He's got to manage the team after that. But it's not like they're holding him back.

He's powering on talking about chocolate bars. He's wasting their time of anything. And I don't want to criticise the journalism of the EFL social media admin. Why did he not have a follow-up question of why have you got 400 bags of revels? Who's sending them? Yeah, who are these people that are sending you the rebels? He loves full teasers. So much they're addictive.

He eats a whole boxing one go. So it almost has revels to. limit the Malteseers and slow him down. It's like a junkie. You know, when the doctor's give him... Also, he's skinny. Do you know what I mean? There's not an ounce of fat on Tony Mowbray.

He's an absolute wimpy. But there are people that can't just get away of eating all that chocolate and they're just thin forever. It's just their metabolism. Yeah. I'd love to see his teeth. I'm sure you can if you rewatch the clip. I'm not zooming in on Mowbrie's mouth,

not this early on a Monday, maybe two o'clock. Covering in chocolate, cakes in chocolate. Maybe out about your quarter past three when I'm at the school gates. Yeah. I'll have a quick snoop on Mowbrie's molars. Right, do you want to know what my feature is? And then we'll do the Manchester Derby in the football.

Right. Yeah. It's called, you ready for this? Yeah. Massive bastards. Okay. Yeah. Good.

So this is, I love a massive bastard. And I didn't realize I loved a massive bastard until this weekend. I was watching the Everton game. They've got a few massive bastards. Braveweight. Luke O'Bossack. Brian came on, right? But their defenders and like...

What happened to Brathaway? There was a point when he was going to be like the England guy. He's great. I think he's just 24 and learning still, but he's a really good player. But he's big. But then I saw, they were scratching an inch of massive bastards, but they were like, not the real deal. And then I saw a guy called Crooks that plays for Hull, right?

Matt Crooks, I think he's called. I'm loving Hull. Google Matt Crooks. He is 6'4. he's got a massive back. He's 32 and he used to play for Robb. And his job, he's not Harland.

He's centreback, presumed. He's a midfielder. Exactly, but he's just, and Joe, his job is, Josh, being a massive bastard. He's not an attacker. He's not a defender. He hasn't got to worry about anything

apart from being fucking massive. Here are his EA ratings, Rob. Oh, Michael's just message methadone when I was trying to talk about Tony Mowbray's revels to Malteseers switch. Thank you, Mike. These are his EA Sports FC ratings. Correct.

Yeah, because it came up when I Google image searched. And he did a great massive bastard, Tackle and Rogers. They need decapitated him. Pace 54. Perfect. Shooting 69.

Passing 68. Dribbling 69. Defensive 67. Physical 85. There we go. Massive bastard stats. Yeah. So send in your massive bastards.

The lower league. leagues, whatever, non-league, just sending your massive bastards. We'll have a look. I love him. Just a proper old school. Why don't we create a full team of massive bastards? We'll add one a week to our massive bastards team. So Matt Crookes is inked in in central midfield. But I loved him. Our wingers and our fallbacks are going to be the difficult slots to fill. Yeah. I mean, we may have to just move. But that's an exciting thing. That's exciting thing. He's just massive. And he knows what he is. He comes in, marshals and midfield, boots a couple of people. massive edders, massive bastard.

So send in your massive bastards throughout the leagues, please. Can I talk about a massive bastard to link onto the Manchester Derby? Yeah. Don Aruma? Yeah. 27.

I genuinely thought he was around at the time of Buffalo. Yeah. I thought he was about 40. I was like, oh, he's got a couple more years at Man City. He could do 12. Look at him.

The hair's not helpful. The hair's not helping. Again, he had a summer off. Italy were out the World Cup. Exactly. Do a runner to Turkey, do a Rama. I just don't know if his wife Donorama wants to send us a voice. He literally could fall in love with a woman called Donna and they couldn't get married. Do you think?

Dona Dona Dona-donorama. I don't know whether they could get, I mean, yeah. I might get my own name. Or go double-barreled. Dona-don-don-Donna Batman. No, Donna. Cabab hyphen Donorama. Anyway, did you watch the Manchester Derby?

Yes, I did. I watched it. It was the first game of the season I watched, Rob. That is absolutely insane. Do you know what I mean I'll watch this week? How many? I watched five games this week. When? I watched a chap, well, I tried to watch Napoli Arsenal.

I was annoyed at the start because Arsenal wore red shorts, which just amazes me. I want to know where you are for these games. I'm at home in the evening. Yeah. Kids are in bed. I'm on the sofa. I fell asleep for the whole game. so I don't know if that counts.

I went to the NTAs a night before, which we'll discuss on parenting hell. That exhausted me. Then I watched two games Saturday, 5.30, Tottenham, Everton, and then straight into Arsenal at 8 o'clock. What's happening in your house at this point? So Lou is very busy with work, so she's just working a lot. And what about the kids?

That's more my question. 5.30? 5.30. They were watching dance moms in another room, but I'd been out with them all day. So then you've got separate rooms. so you put them in, they go, that makes sense, that makes sense. Yes, we're in a different room.

They're in another room watching another TV. We've been out all day, we've been playing in the garden, blah, blah, blah. I'm watching for the park. No, I'm not, I'm not going to go to your parents. No, no, I'm just defending myself, actually. No, no, I'm not having to go to your parenting. And then Sunday, Coventry Brighton, I watch passively as I've done cooking and it was on in the background.

We need to talk about Coventry Pride. Well, let's do, let's do Manchester Derby. Yeah, and then Coventry Bright. Let's go backwards through the weekend, right, of those ones. Yeah, I've got nothing really say about Saturday. But yeah. Okay. Well,

Manchester Derby, did you think Foden should have got sent off? Couldn't care less. Yeah, I mean either. Just don't kick someone.

Oh, he kicked me. Yeah, of course he should get sent off. He kicked someone. He kicked someone in the Nads. You can't do that. So that's fine.

That's a sending off. Was it a highland a goal? Was it a goal? On my walk here, I thought, do you know what? I'm going to listen to a football podcast to see what the enemy

are up to, yeah? So what they're, okay, so you've done a bit of research. And the host, who's a very good host, obviously I'm not going to name it, right?

He said, oh, you know, absolutely wild decision shouldn't have been a goal. What did you think, guest, A? Yeah, awful, terrible. Shouldn't have been a goal.

I mean, how are they giving those? I mean, a VAR, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, terrible. Guess B, it shouldn't have been a goal, should it? No, it shouldn't have been a goal, should it? And you're like, just, it was about six or seven minutes

I'm just people saying it shouldn't be a goal. We know. Who cares? Move on. The refs said it shouldn't have been a goal as well, didn't they? Yeah. And they said, oh, they'll have to apologise for that. All right.

So what? People make mistakes. Fine. Are you what you suggesting that current football podcasts are boring? No, I'm suggesting that we're caught in a feedback loop of people all agreeing with each other about VAR in an angry manner. But we're all agreeing and we're all angry and who cares? So should we say it was a goal? Yeah.

Yeah. Do you know why it was a goal, Rob? Why is that? Because it was given us a goal. Oh, okay. This is the angle, is it? Look, we've got a Manu fan here. He gave us a prediction of the match.

Oh, yes, Michael. Michael's prediction of the match. Okay, let's see how close this is to what happened. This is how Manu fan thought would play out. And this is a guy that everyone says, why don't they let Michael speak more? He really knows his football. Bear in mind, it was a...

It's your room getting broken into by, yes? say a squat team here. You've got these bright lights in your... The sun's come out in Exeter. Looks like you're getting interrogated. So it's the Manchester Derby today. I think it's going to be a really open attacking game. I think both teams are going to be really keen to set a marker really in the season.

My head says score draw, possibly 2-2. But Carrick has an excellent record against City. It is Old Trafford, so there's a slight advantage there. So I'm going to go with my heart and say 3-2 United, with Manu controlling with Field, and if Martinez can be all over Harlem and make himself a nuisance there, and I think we could just nick this,

but I think it will be a very good game. I'm going to defend Michael here, Josh. I think that's quite a good prediction if the sending off didn't happen. The sending off is brilliant, isn't it? Because it's, what's so funny, what's so funny is, if Man City would be in Manu, you'd go, oh, well, fair enough,

Man City are really good. Fine, give Carrick a break. but to manage to lose to 10 men at home and offer nothing. To create a crisis out of a situation that probably can't create a crisis is really funny. It's really funny. I mean, what do you think, Michael? It's your team. It's only fair you get to comment.

I mean, without drifting into tactics and analysis, which we don't want to do, I think Rob's right. Don't you dare. The sending off definitely changed the game. Give us a tickle and see if I'll switch off or might. Give us the overview of what you think happened and then acquit the tactics. Did you think Carrick managed that wrong? I think he set up the team correctly.

I think he set them up expecting to have less possession against Manchester City, as you would. So we're designed to hit them on a counterattack, which is how he sets us up to play. And we're effective at that. But I think what happened is the moment a player gets sent off that early in the game, you know you're not going to be a counterattacking team from that point onwards. And I don't think he changed early enough or at all, really, and basically a loud city back into the game. like you can't lose that game to 10 men at home that early in a match when someone's been sent off like it's kind of madness the worst case scenario is you should get a draw against that game

and not to keep banging the Carrick out bandwagon because I'm not carry out I'm carrick should not have got the job that that's where I stand and that was that was that was a poor game you can't go back in time you can't you fucking chopper out whack it on the table and give us an opinion are you in or out all right talk sport you can't go oh I don't think you're he's got, he's got the job. Forget that. Let's talk about now, Mardy. Let's put it this way. Let's put it this way. How would you feel if I went, oh my God, they've sacked Michael Carrick? I would say on balance, I'd be happy. Yeah, balance. There would be that period like when you're single, where you go, oh my God, am I going to die alone? And then I would be excited about the

Tinder of managers and just swiping through whether it's going to be too sure or Enrique, but inevitably it'd end up being Johnny Evans or someone like that. Tottenham, we'll talk about Tottenham in it, are getting absolutely hammered for being shit, right? But you've only got two more points than them. Yeah. You're in 13th, really. You're already eight points off the top,

after four games. They did well against that team that, I think, your way for invented to play them on Thursday in the Champions League. We're a bit short on teams. Fucking quick, stick another team for AI and send them to the Old Trafford. Fucking quarrower.

bag times too. He's so funny. It's so funny. He'll be gone in February and then they'll bring in some really unlikely and weird for the end of the season who'll do well and then it'll just repeat. Before we go to the other games, I've got a couple of things. I've got

a Garif Baill balling confirmation. Oh yeah. Okay. I can confirm, it's from my friend who his child goes to the same sports club as Garif Bales. Yeah. And he's sat behind him for two years and never spoken.

I can confirm Gareth Bale has zero signs of balding, nor has he since I've sat next to him, I've sat next to my hero in brackets for the last three years at a sports club, and he's not said a single word to me, but zero balding. You've got to make the first step there, I think. Bail's never going to come to you. No.

But you've got to go to Bail. No, well, I would speak to him. I'd speak to him a few times as if he wasn't Gareth Bale. I wouldn't go in with I thought you were amazing for Wales in Euro 2016 You've got to go If you said another parent being a dick

You've got to be like He's hard work, he's a quick eye roll Yeah Do you want to come and see I'm getting one No you don't again Alright

All right Bye See that in the WhatsApp group All right Yeah fine Rob I've got some more things Than the Manchester Derby I didn't tell you

Go on This is how Unacross games I am Yeah The first time I clocked That Elliot Anderson Was playing properly

was when he got my hand of the match. Yeah, you didn't know he was on the pitch. Well, it didn't really clock because I was watching it while crafting with my daughter. Okay. So in terms of our tactical knowledge.

So the first game you've watched this season, you weren't watching it, it was on in the background as you did crafts. Yeah. Do you know what? You're a modern dad, and I find it disgusting. Disgusting.

What do you craft a fucking backbone out of that card and paper? Yeah? Why don't you craft out a bit of time for you? You, yeah? Yeah. Sat there with pipe cleaners

tied around your balls. Well, I think that would cause more problems that it solved if that was the crafting we were doing. There'd be bigger questions and whether I should watch the Manchester Derby. What other observations have you got from Manchester Derby? Well, I watched the goal. It didn't go in.

Yeah. It was disallowed. So I've got a UTI, I think. So I had to go to the toilet. Oh, right. We'll cover that on parenting now. Right, okay. If you want to hear about Josh's UTI,

that'll be on the parenting one, that veers away from football, but it did impact this story. So you missed the goal. No, I saw the goal. It wasn't given. Then went for a piss, then came back. Can he piss, painful piss?

We'll do that on parent. Sorry, we'll do that. We'll cover that on parent. Didn't realize they were 1-0 up for five minutes until my daughter pointed out that there'd been a goal. Oh. Because I just sat back in and I was like, all right, so it's still nil-nil-nil. Yeah.

So I missed the whole drama of that. And here's a thought I've got, Rob. Go on. I think Enzo Moreska has been listening. Right? Yeah. If his wife's listening, we will take a voice. no. Absolutely. I think he's brought his beard in to look less like Pep. Well, because Lou

pointed this out. She was like, isn't that the guy that left? I was like, no. Yeah. What's he done to his beard? I think he's, I think he's taken his beard down. I think he's shortened the beard. So he looks less like Pep Guardiola. Yeah, I think he just needs to go clean shaven. It's closer to clean shaven now. And I think he's, someone said to him, this is weird. Yeah. He's described your own identity. Andy wore a different type of outfit, didn't he? He had like a sort of suit jacket you thing on. Well, I think that's fine because I do think there is this weird thing where managers just wear the same thing every time, like that's Steve Jobs. But he used to dress like Pepp as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That, the grey like polo neck thing.

Well, it's difficult, isn't it? Because Pep just dressed like a middle-aged European man. So any middle-aged European man looks like Pep Guardiola. So I'm glad he's listening and taking the feedback on. So it's good to have an impact on the game. So I think he needs to grow his hair out into like a thin ponytail or something really distanced himself. Well, he could do one of those thin back ponytails or something. No, he can't do that. He can't. Who was the old English manager used to do that weird ponytail thing? You what? There was an English manager. Do you have a really weird, long, it used to be top-no manager? Can't remember. Jerry Francis. Jerry Francis. Jerry Francis, of course. Jerry Francis. That's probably what a Moreska could get to, the Jerry Francis. Yeah, I think

Moreska needs to get Jerry from him, then him dealing with all the people saying you look like just like Jerry Francis and he's like... Yeah, because he was like receding Jerry. Is he still with us, Jerry Francis?

I think he might have passed away but he's, um, he always had that hair as a player but then just kept it as it went back. The powerful look, Jerry Francis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Incredible. Yeah.

Tony DeRigo, Jerry Francis, Tony Moabry. Modern football. Did he get many 17? Tony Moabry, still the manager of Blackburn as we found out, Rob. Well, who knows? It could have been... I got to start following Blackburn because I love Tony Mowbrino.

He seems like a lovely man. How did they get on at the weekend? Well, he used to be. He didn't get me to make it to the match. He was too busy chatting to a guy about Revels. I tell you what, one, we got to talk about Coventry and also how funny was it Rexham got smashed by West Ham. Oh, yeah.

Do you know what? Do you know what? Like, if Rexham got to the Premier League. Blackburn won 3-1 against Millwall. Of course he did. Powered by Starbars. Quick Starbar, lads. Do you think he gives a star bar to his star player?

Like the little star bar for you there. Who wants a rebel? Go on, guys. Don't worry, I've got loads of them. No, I'm not going to tell you which it is. Snowing today. Got any orange balls out. Should we have an orange ball?

Orange ball? One at half time. One on the pitch. What I love about England is, in Ryan Reynolds's head, if Rexham got to the Premier League, I think, because if this was America, everyone would support them and be like, this is amazing. Every single club would boo them. It's not American. And everyone would love it when they loved.

It was so good when they got smashed 6-0 by West Ham. I know. I couldn't believe I like West Ham. I like West Ham. You don't like West Ham, do you? Well, I'm swiftly becoming great pals of Danny Dyer, Jr. So I've come around to West Ham. Oh, yeah, you're hanging out with her and the old Strictly game. Yeah, and we get on. We get on.

Do you chat football? We have a real laugh. Yeah. Yeah. I saw her the night after Jared Bowen scored the late goal. And she was like, oh, yeah, he got me up when he got in bed. And I was like, I've got to go to bed because we got Strictly tomorrow. How old he wanted to talk about his goal?

He was delighted, apparently. Well, you would be, last minute winner. Yeah, but, you know, he's come back for, I think they're away to Blackburn, weren't they? So I said, I'm fucking livid because Tony Mowbray. You know me. You know me of Mowbray. We go way back.

Tony Mowbray at that point was in his garage, passed out under six-bags of rebels trying to make himself feel something. Who let him at the rebels again? Mowbrie's down. Can I just say on Raksum? I think what grinds people's gears in the lower leagues is this idea of this incredible underdog story. But the thing is, it's not,

because they've got more money than the rest of the leagues of League One and League Two. So they've just bought their way through League One and League Two and done it as an underdog story, and I think that grinds people's gears. Well, if you, it's equivalent of, if you had a little coffee shop, right, in Wrexham, and then multi, multi-millionaires came in

and spent £100 million on acquiring cafes all around the country and all of a sudden you've got 100 cafes. It isn't what an amazing story of a business is, you know, someone just decided to spend 100 million pounds on buying more coffee shops. Yeah, it's not Lester City. Do you know what I mean? That was, that was insane.

And we love that and people look back fondly on that. It's essentially Manchester City. To be fair, every other team that could have won the league was dog shit that year. But let's not bring, you know, let's not mention that, of course. Everyone completely failed. but don't want you foxes. I love the idea.

We're going to become the first podcast to say the Lester City story is overrated and actually it's a story of other teams, the bigger teams failing rather than Lester succeeding. The issue I have with this, Josh, is every episode, I feel like another city's off my tour list. Well, that's ideal. You only want a toll from home. I still need to have money, Josh.

I'll get the sales report will come in and they'll be like, It's really weird. You've sold out every apart from Leicester. Can you think of why what's happened in Leicester? Now, I love Leicester. Also, you've sold out five nights in Blackburn, and they said they're going to have to get in some more sweets in the... We've sold out of Revels at the tuck shop. Everyone's got a bag of revels wearing Tony Mowbrie masks at the Blackburn gig.

Kings Hall. Is it King's Hall? Yeah, I think it is, yeah. Tottenham and Coventry. Right, yeah, these are the funny things. Also, fuck me, Liverpool. Anyway, move on. Wirtz. Wirtz.

Is Wirtz not very good at football? Can he continue? 160 million, I'm saying? Just give it up, guys. They play him every week. And everyone goes, he's going to come good. The shit Pock-Ba got, and Pogh was good for a bit, and he was the most expensive refielder.

I'm telling you now, he's not going to come good. Sell him. Yocchores gets more stick than Wirtz. Yon Jokorez scored like 15 goals, I think. Or CESCO. But we're like half the price and Yocrys helped Arsenal win the league. Yeah.

I don't know when this. No, he is good. When? It's been a year and a half. Can you show me please when he was being good? And he was shit at the World Cup. Maybe that bit was the fluke when he was good for Leverkus. They drew, didn't they?

And Chelsea. At home to Fulham. Chelsea are fun to watch. And Hull. I like Hull. Love Hull. Love Hull. Coventry.

You wanted to ring Josh Pugh, didn't you? Because they've now lost... They've lost five nil at home. They've lost every day. They scored yet? I don't know if they've scored. Right, I'm going to ring Josh Pugh. Tottenham haven't scored.

He went yesterday. I just want to say, do you regret going up? Commentary haven't scored and they conceded 10 goals and lost every game. Let's ring Josh and see what he thinks. Funny comedian, Josh. Good guy. He's also in the England partially cited football team, Josh Pugh. I should ring Bill back as well because he said Tottenham were going to smash ever.

Yeah, we will. Okay. Well, let's see if he calls me back. Give him a chance to ring back. Do you feel sorry for Coventry, Rob? A little bit, but I think they will find a bit of form. I don't know, it does look very embarrassing. I think the problem is how we're doing so well.

Yeah, and Ipswich are fine. Do you see Lewis Dunk's goal? Yeah. Ipswiches do really well. They're ninth, six points. Yeah. Better man United. Huller third.

You're getting moored by the targets. More by the tigers. More by the tigers. Bright and fourth, Chelsea Finn. Have we got any thoughts on Tottenham except it's hilarious? I don't understand what's happening. This is related.

Did you see Plymouth's first goal at the weekend? Yeah, I'm real. Straight from kickoff? Straight from kickoff, 30 seconds. Thunder bastard, top corner. That player's on loan. Guess who from? How?

Tottenham. Tottenham? So he's scored after 30 seconds. Who is it? Is he called Oliver Ira or something like that? Also, Lankshire's doing well, Parrot's doing well. And Richardson, sure, just make Richelsohn's play.

It's so funny. Yeah, Oliver Iro. Bill messaged and said, head in hand, I don't get it. Why can't we score? We passed the ball nicely. So that's something. I don't think that's true either. They passed it really bad.

That's neither here nor there. Now, this is my take, and I'll see what Bill thinks. I think when you're a team that's finished 17th two years in a row, you will be able to buy people if you throw loads of money on it. and people like Tanali went to Tottenham as opposed to other clubs because he was being paid more money. So the danger with that is you overpay and get them and you may not get people whose heart are in it

or are into the project. They're mainly going for money. Now, obviously, as a football, you get to be a footballer and it's like a dream job or whatever. We get to do our dream jobs, Josh. Occasionally, there will be times when we do jobs for slightly more money that aren't passion projects, correct? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I know you love the air conditioning and refrigeration awards. When that day comes, I'll let you know. And also, I think they deserve it's just not got them organized. But there's enough players to score. Anyway, let's ring Bill. Oh, hello, Bill.

I'm just on the podcast with Josh. You said call you back after the Everton game. I score, right, didn't I? What? 50% correct of your prediction. Now, Bill, last time he left you, or you left us, you were very positive about the XG and it's all going to come good.

What's the feeling down at the lane as a season ticket holder? Well, do you watch the match? Yeah, loved it. I was waiting for you to score to turn it off, but you never did. Those first 20, 30 minutes were as exciting as we played in a long, long time. So those... You did play. quite well for the first 15, 20 minutes yet.

20 to 30 minutes. Okay, all right, you have the 30 minutes if you really want, but yeah. I will add, Bill, you didn't even have a shot on target in those 30 minutes. I know. I don't know what's, honestly, it's really... But you said that's the best you've played for 30 minutes for ageing. Yeah, but it was like, it was, like, there was the chance as well, it was like, he just had to...

He rolled it under his foot rather than to Fernandez and shoot. So, do you know what? If I'm glass half full, I'm going, this is going to get better because you just need to do what we did in the first 30 minutes for 60 minutes. And we will score. We're going to. We're going to score. If I'm glass half empty, you go, well, what do you expect when you sign a guy

who's only scored one goal last season, Savio? And we basically signed a load of rejects from the big teams. And also we've got Muzerick coming back. in a few months. Oh, God, I don't know. I mean, you're clutching at straws if Madrid's the hope. I'm looking, do you know what, Rob?

I'll be honest with you. I'm looking forward to the international break. We should have a lot. Oh, do you know what? Next Saturday, Rob. Next Saturday. Just got something to ask it, yeah. Is Spurs v. Aston Villa.

Surely. Surely. Also, I'm not letting you have the third round of the EFL Cup on Tuesday. That doesn't count for goals. You remember there was a game few seasons back where it was Ollie against Nuno.

And they called it El Sackico. Because it was like, Who against Oli? Olli, against... Olli Goulders, Mani United against Spurs. It was Oli Gona against Nuna, and we lost and then we fired at Nuna. Yeah.

And it feels like that sort of... It has that similar sort of feeling slightly of like... Now, can I say something? I don't want anyone... I am actually... No, UNAMari, he's not getting sacks. He's just won the Open League for Aster Villa. He's incredible manager.

He said his entire team ripped apart by having to sell them because of some sort of PSR, I don't understand. They're worse than us. Yeah, but you're worse than us. You've spent half a billion pounds. No, we haven't. Our net spend was less than hull in the end or something, wasn't it?

Well, I don't think of Emery's, and I think Emery will get a bit of grace because of what's happened. I think, I know you're going to compare you to me, he won a cup. But does Irby kept us up? And I do think that a lot of, I think we've got to give them a bit longer. Bill are in the Champions League, aren't they? Bill are in the Champions League, aren't they, Bill? Yeah. So what's better?

getting in the Champions League and winning the Europa League or finishing 17th? I've said something to you, right? This is where I'm at at the end of the week. This is where I'm feeling. You said so... I often say this to you, I think. And I always say that I think Tottenham should be like Seville.

I think that we should try and be the team who finished like sixth or seventh getting the Europa League and win the Europa League every season. I'd be so happy with that. And right now, I think we could still finish six, seven, maybe eight. Yeah.

We've got to change our... We've just got to change to what we're aiming for. Well, the goal would be helpful. Start there. It's like, you know, it's the worst we've ever, I think it was in, it's the worst we've ever done ever.

Like, we haven't, in the entire history of the club, 100 and something years, we've never done this. Ever. The cheer when you got that shit shot on target from Fernandez was so funny. I know, they all cheer, everyone cheers. But like, I do think that we've got to,

Like, when are we playing... Hold on. When are we playing Coventry? Is that what you're holding out for, the Coventry game? I mean, what are the odds on that being, Neil, Neil? You're playing Coventry on October the 19th? So we've only got Villa... That's the game, that's the game.

So your seventh game? Your seventh game, you got Coventry, and that's the game. If you lose to Coventry, you get sacked. But I think that'll be... That's now the trigger game. That's the game now, where suddenly we knocked five past them, and they're all scoring everyone.

Right, okay. But your XG's gone down now, I looked, because you was into that, to 0.64 in that last day. I know, Rob, you sent it to me, and I ignored it. I just didn't bother looking at it. I knew you'd sent it, and my whole argument,

but we did look good. Their XG was like, the only reason their XG was high because it was King's being fucked up, and they had a clear, I don't know. No, yeah, you were, yeah, but he can't be your number one. Anyway, so Josh has got a question. I'll just rely it back to you, Bill, one second,

and then we'll let you get back to editing. You didn't know, you're ringing me to give me shit about it. You know I'm editing you guys at the minute on the show. Yeah. I might leave it. I might leave in some of the other. Oh, yeah, you're editing Josh as well, aren't you? Could I just ask what his prediction is for Tottenham v. Aston Villa.

Look, Bill, look, I love you, Bill. And I'm just, I just, you're great because you're always positive. And I think there's too much negativity around Totham. So we're trying to spread your positive. In the world, there's too much negativity in the world. Your prediction for the Liverpool game in the NFL and then Astin Villa at the weekend. What are you predict? Well, he's already said that he's changing the team against Liverpool,

so we're going to lose to Liverpool. We'll lose Liverpool. But, oh, no. Oh, no. Because I'm going to say it, and I think we're going to beat Biller, all right? Okay. Are you going to batter them like Evan? I do.

I do think that we're going to beat Diller. Yeah. And then we're not. I know we're not, because we can't scorn. But then I, if you look at it, look at it, lower than us. Do you, okay, well, there's that many spaces to go. Where do you, what do you think the school will be, I think it could be nil-nil or one-nil?

I think it might be, I think nil-nil, I think N-Nil will be the funnier. Nill-nil, I think I'd love a nil-nil. It's actually funnier just to watch you continually draw nil-nil. Well, if we just did it, the rest of, because he did, he made a point, does it about how we're like, he goes, in it, he said, after the game, he said, like, in Italy, we'd be celebrating that we didn't concede. where in England

Oh, fuck that. On the fact that we have to school. Yeah, well, in Italy, you know, a thousand years ago, they'd be let a fucking line on the pitch to eat a couple of players, but not in Italy, and it's 2026. I think we'll beat Miller,

and then it's the international break. And the international break is so long now, which is brilliant. I think you'll be all right after the international break. I think you just, they don't know how to play as a team at the moment, and they're just all individuals. But once, if Deserbees any good,

he'll sort them out in the international break. Have you can ask them. Go. Have you guys already talked about United City? Yeah, you can chuck something in, though, if you want. Can you ring me at that bit instead next time? Okay, what do you want to serve that? What do you want to serve about United City?

They had 10 men. They had 10 men and they lost. The United, they were at home. We covered that. We covered that. We covered that. It's basically the whole game. Yeah, it's funny, wasn't it?

And then the United still lost. Yeah. Can you ask him whether we need to call him for Tony Meribrow's top five chocolate next week? That was worse. We also... We also... We also... We also...

We also covered Tony Mowbrie's favourite chocolate bars, if you're aware. Oh, what happened there? I didn't see that. What happened to that bit? Oh, he loves revels. Oh, really? Listen back, you'll hear it. I honestly, I think we'll beat Bella.

Yeah. Okay. Who's gonna score? And your goal scorer? I think it's Mammush. Mammu's, yeah. I've got... I've put Simon...

He's quite moaning, Mamush. He moans a lot. I've got... I've got Egyptian. relatives. And so we all just want Mammaoja to school. I promised my father-in-law that I'd go to this cafe in Cairo with him

where they all watch the Spurs games. So I'm going to go, we all want Mamucia to score. I'm Mamucia's going to do it. It's going to score world. It's a long way to go for a nil-nil, in it? Yeah.

Please make you funny. See you later. Love you. Bye. Oh, it's great. We've droned on a lot. but I just want to read out one email, Rob, because we've got so many good emails.

Yes, we need to do an email one. Working at stadium, football, food and drink habits. Hello, Rob and Josh. You asked if anyone knew anything about what Premier League players eat. This was after the Chelsea serial debacle. Yeah. In the 2011-2012 season,

I was late one day for my generic bar job at the Emirates and was reallocated to the press lounge where they were short on staff. The boy who worked in the players lounge went to uni and so because I looked a bit like him, They moved me to the dream job. Players lounge. It was a free bar, but also alcohol free since the day Venger arrived.

Okay, do you want me to take you through the drinks? Go on. Permertersaka. Okay, sparkling water. Apple juice and fizzy water. It's a great drink. It's a great drink. Love it.

He's made it homemade tango. He back in the day would make the massive bastards team. No, he had a bit more, it was a bit more cult. I think massive... Okay. Vinnie Jones was a massive bastard. Samir Nasri. Now, Samir Nasri, if I take away from his...

The way his bodies developed since retirement, I'd say full fat Coca-Cola. Correct. Pepsi. I knew it. Andre Arshaven? Oh, Russian guy. I think it might be something a bit off-kilter, like some sort of tomato or grapefruit juice. Pepsi with a straw. See, I knew it was a bit different.

Abu Diyabi. Abu Diyabi. I think a orange juice or pineapple juice. Green tea. Green tea. So a little insight. The captain chooses the type of food for the friends and family. Okay.

So it was quite posh food when Fabragas was captain. Even though he wants to mind of the chef bringing pizza and a burger during a match that he was left out of just before the Barcelona move. Absolutely great detail. Robin Van Percy then changed the food when he became captain to be kid friendly with chicken nuggets, chips and pizza, etc. Ah, okay, like it. The players didn't eat it.

They had chicken wraps and protein shakes in the changing rooms. Emmanuel Abuay was a joker and used to pretend to tip over my tray of drinks. Bakery Sanya's dad tried and failed to teach me French. Jack Wiltshire and Abu Dhabi were always there because they were injured. David Seaman once. popped in for a quick piss, lovely bloke. I bet he has big pisses. He's a big old lump, Simon.

Well, I'll end with this detail. I once heard, Wozscheck, is that how you pronounce it, Wozscheck, Chesney? Chesney, yeah. Say he'd stayed up all night because he'd just got a new iPad. I think he did, he was like,

he used to smoke in the showers and be a bit like of a wild child, Chesney. Right, right, he got a new iPad, and it kept him up all night. All night long on YouTube scrolling. That's before short. I wasn't allowed to take photos and I've won of proof with me with

Abu Dyev and Alex's song. Thanks, Joe from Bristol. Oh, thank you, Joe from Bristol. Please, more... Keep them coming in. Tales from the players then. Rational X. Irrational team rivalry behaviour. Best bald footballers, etc.

And your massive bastards. And you're massive bastards and we'll try and do more next week but the Manchester Derby took over. Oh, shirt-wise, I'm wearing a Juventus goalkeepers kit from about two seasons ago. And I'm wearing a leche. A leche.

Do you know what I bought the other day I'm going to wear it soon? Italian 90s ref shirt Oh my God here we go But not this week After the VAR

Controversy Rob Bit of respect Long sleeve with a pocket For the cards Oh lovely Lovely See you next time Bye