Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - 1 on 1 with Colin Quinn

Episode Date: May 16, 2013

Robert sits down for a one on one with his good friend Colin Quinn. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Mao, a Madrid.

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Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlos sin pagar nunca. tienen todos tus dispositivos. ¡Puerto TV! ¡Ven a verlo sin pagar nunca! Give the Twitter dummy. Oh, sorry guys. Hi, this is Colin Quinn. I want you to come see unconstitutional Even though we know you don't want we all know you don't want to but it's very good for you and follow me on Twitter I am Colin Quinn and then you can you know get all the information from my big show Awesome make sure you guys do that follow Colin Quinn. I am at what? I am Colin Quinn. I am Colin Quinn on Twitter. Find out the show. This is a third one man show that's coming out. They're unbelievable. I've seen his last one three times.

I can't wait to see this one. So make sure you follow him on Twitter to find out where it's playing. It's a limited run. It's in New York. So if you're in the New York area, Jersey, even Pennsylvania, Connecticut. Get your asses down and get the tickets. As soon as you see him on his Twitter, buy those suckers, get down and see the show. Thanks guys. Okay, so here you go. This is the intro for a one-on-one Thursday episode

of You Know What You Podcast with my great friend, one of my best friends, if not best friend, Colin Quinn, one of the best friends, if not best friend, Colin Quinn, one of the nicest guys in the business, one of the funniest guys and truest people I know. I love having him on, I love, I get talked to Colin forever, he's just that guy, he knows everything about everything and he's funny and he's interesting and why he doesn't have his own podcast Oh, if anybody should be doing this it should be him and he's the only one not doing it

And that's what probably still makes him even fucking better Is that he refuses to do a podcast believe me. I tried to get him to do one You all know that we we did one back in the day before podcast for podcasts and now We did one back in the day before podcast, we're podcasts. And now, I'm lucky enough to have them come in every once in a while and shoot the shoot with me. So this podcast is just me and Colin. I hope you like it. It's a one-on-one, the Thursday series I've been doing.

It's around an hour or so. Enjoy. Let me know ykwdricast.com if you're digging these one on once. I can't do them every Thursday because I just don't have time, but I do do them when I can. And the reason why I'm able to do these podcasts more often than not lately is because of the technology is kind of caught up with it. So now I can carry these edgy-teach microphones with me,

with a splitter, and put a lab on somebody, put a lab on me, and we can record, wherever I can record fucking driving a car. I can, you know, on being a roller coaster and do a podcast, it doesn't matter. My iPhone edgy-teach microphones and the new recording apps that came out for the iPhone 5 are amazing. So that's it.

So I appreciate you listening. Thank you for spreading the word. Make sure you email me and let me know what's going on. Subscribe and review on iTunes. Blah blah blah blah. Later. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton.

This is Dennis Leary. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Liri. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Kreiser. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? If you bippy-by-a, if you bippy-boo, dippy-dippy-dry-a, you have a daba-du.

Dude! This is Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude?

You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude?

You know what, dude? So what's up man? How you doing? Good. Welcome to the new show. Right. The one on ones. The one on ones. It's like the basement tapes of your show. Well, you know what?

I've been putting on Thursday shows. Right. Because people wanted me to do it more than one day a week. Which is kind of ridiculous request when you think about it. I give it two-hour free show once a week. Right. All they ask for is you go to Amazon and use my link. Yeah.

We'll get a pair of headphones with 33% off at twig.io.com. Nice. Like that little slip in there I got. Yeah, but you know, a lot of people, I mean, it's fucking weird, a lot of, I don't know, I like doing these, you know, I like doing these, especially, I used to mean use to do them all the time.

I like being on one-on-one, but I started filling the room and you get kind of get addicted to it. Yeah. I get understand that you can relax more. You don't have to think you don't have to worry because you throw in things once in a while, take a 20 minutes off, let other people riff. You just got to steer. Yeah.

But you know what's, you know, what does happen is that you have to, um, what does suck is that people talk over the other, you know, nobody knows how to fucking do radio. You know, people just yap over each other. You can hear it in the room, but you've got to do, listen in a truck or whatever the fuck you are in a cube. Right. It's like, what the fuck, ah, it gets annoying.

I got a lot of complaints about that. And I try to tell people to shut the fuck up, but then people complain about me, telling people to shut the fuck up. And then people complain about me telling people to shut the fuck up. And then once you start that ball of complaint, even though it's just one dude, or fucking maybe a couple people, a lot of thousands, you get fucked up in your head.

But what you're saying, you're describing tough crowd when I ran tough crowd every day. And this is on TV, I'm going shut up. Shut up and let him finish. Of course I was always talking about Patrice Patrice I said and nobody indulged Patrice or loved it more than me But Patrice is a guy where you can't do a half hour show with commercials Unless you just want to have Patrice it has to be Patrice by himself You know what I mean Patrice had to be the only voice and

trees by himself. You know what I mean? Patrees had to be the only voice. And justifiably, all these communities would complain. We go on that show, we don't like it because that Patrees only will dominate stuff. Wow. He just lit up this whole studio. But you couldn't help but Patrees the kind of guy that

once you got to, once you get into his vibe. Yeah. He grows on you to the point where you're like, okay, I know how long this takes I get used to it You know, I know at the beginning. I'm gonna think he's going this way, and it's not that interesting Yeah, halfway through I'm gonna go. Oh my god. This is really interesting. He's going this way And then at the end it's going a whole other way. That's really funny and interesting So I got into that unfortunately. I was a fan. I was supposed to be the host of the show Yeah, I mean he he is one of those guys.

I mean, you know, it's weird as they always put me on with him. And I know it was because of something. You understand? I was never not on a show with Patrice. Yeah, they always put me on with Patrice. Like somebody said, look, Bobby does better when he's on, you know, some, we're gonna put him on. Let's put him on with Patrice,

because you know, something like that happened. Yeah, because that's usually some fucking network, dude. That made these decisions just to justify themselves exactly those kind of statements. Like, Bob does better with Patrice. Patrice is more comfortable with Bobby on the show. They just make those decisions and then that becomes a fact. That's it, that's it. And then they go on and then you'll ask them tell you why did you have Bobby? I don't know. Did I did I say that?

Yeah, you dig your fuck You did your fuck. Yeah, I fucking hate it. I hate that shit. I really do justifying your job Yeah, but that's uh, there's nothing you can do nothing. you can do about it. No, there's nothing you can do now Just like there was nothing you could do about working with Dan Soto this weekend. No. Yeah, I worked with Dan You loved it. Yeah, he's awesome. Dan is just one of those guys that's You know, he's almost uh, he almost is like Ted Bundy and that he's the perfect Person you know on the outside and you're like, wow. What the hell is this?

You know, what's going on? But this is what he does too, is he lets you in that there is stuff wrong with him, even though I doubt that he really believes, I think therapy's a sham, I think it's a cover up, that he lets you in a little bit. Like, yeah, I have that problem too, or I'm doing that too.

And you're like, guy, he's's just like me but you're not. No you're dead soda. First of all he's gonna end up like that guy that stabbed the therapist to death the guy. He stabbed the wrong one you know. That guy you know a boy side like last year he just had his trial recently he went in to kill his therapist. Really?

And the other therapist in the office tried to stop him and goes hey man or the therapist was never one like hey you know you got to calm down and he killed that therapist instead really bloody with a knife wow nice up or side building but I guess apparently not a door man or the door man was like hey guys good luck I see a cycle with a knife I'm diving under hey yeah maybe not much apparently he didn't work on scale either yeah those guys those guys you just fucking upstairs from a subway You have to take a window you have to get to my therapist you have to go in the window you do no kidding Well, yeah, those side doors sometimes, you know, yeah, he it's definitely a shitty. There's a massage thing above him

What you heard me? Are you serious? Yeah, it's a legit though. I've been four times I'm I'm once I been four times. I'm I'm once I'm one make sure I'm one stamp away from getting a free massage You're like maybe he sets it up there as a test He's like, hey, I want to find a house sick my clients all that he goes and ask him is this if you see in this face? I'm completely honest with my tongue. I've told him every stupid thing, I never, ever not tell him anything. Good, but who else? Were you wasting your money?

Are you wasting your time? Yeah, you know, it's, there's been times where I'm like, I'm not telling him this. I'm not, there's no need, he needs to know this. Yeah, I'm just gonna, I got it. That's fucked up thinking. Well, you're like, I got this.

I know, I know I fucked up. I know what I did. I fucked up. I got this. I know, I know I fucked up. I know what I did. I fucked up. I got this. I don't need to tell him. I know what he's gonna say, but it's the, when you get in there, all of a sudden it's like, no, you have to tell.

You have to be 100% honest with this human being, because if not, it's that little dark secret you have and the next one and the next one and the next one. And all of a sudden I'm going to be doing terrible shit. Yeah. I don't know if that was easy. You're right. It makes total sense.

But yeah, but Dan Soder, we had a blast driving up and back. Yeah. I mean, he really is a, he's a, you know, he's a real gentleman. Let's face it. Everybody, if people don't like Dan Soder, there's probably something weird. It's where else is aside to the day they only get to see. Like Ted Montgomery. Yeah, he is, man.

He's got that, he's got that, he's got that, he laughs. He laughs at your jokes and makes you feel like you're the funniest guy on the planet. Right. His laugh is what I think gets him ahead in the business. Um, were you over that guy? Were you over the guy that everybody loves on the other side of the business? On what side of the business? The industry. No, I was side of the business? The industry.

No, I was always, the comedians loved me. The comedians kept me in this business my whole career. Really? Yeah, but the industry was never really a fan of me. That's fucked. Because I was always the guy that, for some reason, whenever I deal with industry, I rub them the wrong way.

But I always got along with all the people, all the comedy. They liked me because all the comedians liked me. But I just, there was just not a, for some reason we didn't click me in the industry people. Some of them I got along really good with. But as a general rule, it was always like a weird vibe I felt. You know? Yeah, I don't, I don't know what it is though. There's a certain person.

There are certain type of person. Is it a, I don't know. They like sports or they're like certain teams. They know stats. I don't, college. I don't, they like khakis on weekends or boats or fucking, you know, beer like, you know, home-brood beer. I don't know what the fuck it is, but there's something that I don't have.

Right. I can't connect. I connect to you. I can't actually work out like you. I connect to a guy like Norton, but does he certain industry sides that it's like, you know, I don't know, I just don't connect. No, I know what you're saying. That's why like like, you know, I don't know, he just don't connect. No, I know what you're saying. That's why like I, you know,

I don't know, certain guys, I see these guys talking to these people. And I always want, hey. Yeah, that's it. Now that's all you should say, honestly. That's all you should say to them. Really? Yeah.

You can't talk, yeah, you can't be talking to these people. You know what I mean? Like you said, I'll tell you exactly a perfect example is when I think it was, I think it was known. Who we all know from the podcast. Who was that? No. What does he do?

Okay. I know who you talking about. Go ahead, I'm sorry. The owner of the company said. He's a perfect example of a guy, not that he's an industry guy, he's a a great guy, but and some industry people are gonna but anyway He's a kind of guy goes to Bob one day was sitting there and he goes to Bobby. Hey, you know I I went to Tufts in Medford and Bob goes yeah, we used to beat the shit out of kids and rob them from Tufts

I was saying if you had said that to some industry kid who went to Tufts tops. I was saying if you had said that to some industry kid who went to tops, they'd be like, oh, I think I remember actually the one uncomfortable awkward time in my freshman year. I came home in a couple of my first beers and I was 19. I was even sure I was going to be in showbiz. I was majoring communications though and kind of excited. I went to see a local improv group and I walked home and you two of your friends pulled over in the car, called me, hey, creepin' and next to you, you know, it was on the ground, beating, no cell phones back then, but you know, my wallet was all scattered and shit, you know.

You know, it's funny, though, as I did say that to him, and one of his friends got his car pissed in. I think I don't know if I remember, I think we used to do that, too. We used to put sand and like motorcycle gas, thanks. Oh, no! Yeah, we used to do that too. We used to put sand and like motorcycle gas tanks. Oh, no. Yeah, we used to sand. Yeah, we would just fucking, dickheads, nobody told us,

Hey man, don't do that. Hey man, that's somebody's property that they worked hard for. Yeah, it's almost like, am I getting, like the things that happen now, when you get close on a show or something really Your dream is right there and it gets snatched away. I'm like is that because I you know I lit the tough soccer polls on fire five times right five times Yeah, we were lit them on fire so much they they had a change in from wood to steel and then we stole a car And we were driving through the field. We're going to actually instead of a lot of money fire, we're going to run them over.

And at the last second, Michael Dott's grabbed the wheel and went, no, and we bumped into a steal. We would have been fucking dead. Can you imagine that? What? They must have, you guys did it so many times, they actually changed, they said, you know what? Let's take soccer out of this.

Let's have a private rugby. Let's try rugby or just go back to baseball. You know, we went to the college last night, Binghamton, which is good school. Yeah. And it's so funny because you can tell a school that's no nonsense. These are the most like industrial dorms. Like there's no beauty on the, but there's no beauty in Binghamton anyway. It's one of those tough

Towns upstate you know, it's fucking you and it's got a little better, but yeah, it's terrible and the school is like Hardcore you know what I mean like just a real you you do good you were it's like a real Badass it's just a badass drive But then driving back I was talking to Dan and it's so funny like Not only do you know everything about sports and those kinds of things, I understand what you're saying. Some people just have all the information. Yeah, they get the stats of life.

Well, you have stats on technical stuff. Yeah, like the brand new Rivo headphones are great. The brand new, and Dan has a lot of different stuff. And also, all these comedies that they, he starts talking about comedy to me, and I'm like, these guys, this generation is encyclopedic. Of comedy. I had Michael Cheon last week and he knows everything about every comic.

So, isn't it scary? Yeah, like they, they, like I didn't know that they, they know everybody and they know me, they know, they know all, they know shit about us that we don't know. I know. And it's, it's weird. I didn't give a fuck about anybody. But also, but also we came from a time

when it wasn't like YouTube. These guys have been YouTube and in high school. I know. I mean, who knows? Maybe we would have watched it, but who knows? But either way, I wouldn't have reported so. But they, but yeah, it's scary how much they know about us. It's uncomfortable.

I think we should have maybe a big podcast where we sit down with the Cheyenne Dan or the perfect great examples and go, we want you guys to erase all fucking knowledge you have of us. Well, this is gonna be a problem. Yeah. Lose your fucking memory.

Don't be going around telling people, oh yeah, well, you know, I know these guys now personally, but really that's not what they said in 2007. Mind your goddamn business. What are you about something else besides what I fucking said on Tough Crowd in 2004? I know, dude. It's weird. And it's getting worse because even the guys younger than them, there's even more info

out there for them. It's even easier. There's so much more. Yeah. It's even easier. There's so much more. There's, you know, five years ago, you couldn't get all the remote controls on iTunes. And you remember faces of death when you had to go get a creepy video. You had to go and see if that video store has blockbuster wouldn't carry it because it was too crazy.

So you had to find that crazy local video store And it was always out cuz some fucking lunatic like you had it so watch it all the time. I love face it death I was you do is just face it death is nothing now. I mean nothing you go to one of these sites be heading sites or Whatever the fuck it is. It's like it's it's it's right there on your phone walking down the street Yeah, you see them pleading for their life. Yeah, it really is a weird time. How about you, and we all have friends that send you, like you're in the middle of like anywhere, you know,

an office or trying to be nice with your family. And suddenly there's like a train, he's cock or two inches away from me, God, they've sent, and the rest of the family's like, they don't even have iPhones, I love a nice iPhone. You know what I mean? They don't have iPhones, they have have cheap fucking right? Well my family does your family they all do Yeah, I'm up from a better stock. Oh my god people do you believe and they are?

You guys are in Brooklyn. You see a goddamn giant cock and you like yeah, if my family saw this They'd be horrible fucking the rooster sends me naked pictures from his balls up all the time. Oh, I was talking to Ashtie at the bar. A really nice conversation. I've said my phone goes off and it shows a little, the little picture of what it is. What's that that I, I don't know, I click it and it's, it's that fucking Arab. So, the last thing she wants to see is an Arab naked. Yeah, exactly. Chris Lee won that she doesn't think funny enough to work the club.

Especially one that's alive. But, um, yeah, but it was kind of, but there's something about driving to a gig. Chris he won that she doesn't think funny enough to work the club personally one of those that's alive But um, yeah, but it was kind of but there's something about driving to a gig and driving back from a gig I mean we used to have a blasts. How much fun did we have driving in those gigs like Penn State that time You know, I told Dan I go look man. I go watch out. Just watch your head. He's like why I go just let know this I was driving down to Penn State with Colin. And he just wanted to, he wanted to feel the, his flesh punching me in the head. Might, he saw my bald head and he wanted to punch me in it. So he did. I go, he punched me in the side of the head. And I fucking, I punched him in the leg so hard that he screamed

cried he grabbed the steering wheel at 65 and grabbed it and pulled it we almost fucking swirled up I spit my coffee on the inner windshield and covered it I had to stick my fucking swollen head out the window just to pull over so we could wipe the windshield off inside and then we went for a snack We went for food. We actually went shopping at a supermarket. Yeah I remember that too. That was a blast. Yeah, we ate like beast. Yeah, we had cheese it So remember you got a box of fucking cheese. It's oh those were good. Yes What about and that was the but that's the beauty of gigs is like the bonding

of two guys going to some gig. It's a long drive to more than two hours. Oh, absolutely. More than two hours, you know, you gotta drive it, you gotta drive back. And then you really get to know each other, you really get to talk and know each other. And like you said, Dan, of course, I don't know.

I mean, you know, once, what when somebody says it from Colorado, then I kind of shut down. I'm like, then I can have an interesting thing to tell mean, you know, when somebody says it from Colorado, then I kind of shut down. I'm like, then I can have an interesting thing to tell me, you know, because I just thought picturing like a bleak landscape and a couple of like, yeah, plan communities. Yeah, like a shitty bike. Yeah, some like a huffy.

But he has to take around to the local billiards or the community center, like that movie over the top with Matt Dillon. Remember that movie? No, I don't know. You remember over the top? What a fucking movie, man. What do you play? You know, remember back in the day

when they started bringing up those towns where everybody's house was the same. Yeah, planned communities. Planned communities, and they'd have the little town center. Yeah. And then have the school, and you know, it was one of those towns, and these kids just fucking snapped and they took it over and locked the parents in the school and let the bus on fire and fucking great movie. It's probably not as great

now, right? But it was for me being a fucking punk. Yeah. It was like my movie. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, Matt Dillon was a great punk. Yeah, I know Matt Dillon. And he really has... What do you mean you know him? I mean, I know him as a person. As a person or a friend? Do you have his number? No, I wouldn't call him a friend,

but he's friends with friends of mine. And so like if he sees me, he's like, Colin, I'm all he, man. Colin, I'm all he, hold on. Let me try to do Matt Dillon. Okay, ready, I'm all you man. Colin, I'm all you. Hold on, I'm gonna try to do my doing. Okay, ready, I'm you. Okay, you guys are gonna give me two slices of die cook. Colin, man, what's going on?

Hey! Hey, what's up, man? How you doing, man? How you doing? Hey, man, my legs, take it down, man. Okay, okay, all right. Oh, Jesus. There's a lot of people I don't want to be

coming over and asking for, does he do that? No, I just got a plan around the matter. No, he's a great guy. But um small but no, not small at all. It's not as tall as you think he is. Yeah, he's I think he's taller than me. No, he's no, he's not six feet. Is he? I could be wrong. But who knows? But anyway, every time I see him, he's like, you know, he's he's just one of those guys that's done done. It consists it like every once in a while

Like give us you something about Mary. What's funny than that fucking great with it? His performance. He's great. He stands up and he buckles his pants. They don't even mention it at the beginning of the movie He's sitting behind the desk. He stands up and just buckles his pants. It's not talking They don't even mention what he was doing I never even noticed that. And I'm gonna go watch that. It's behind the desk and he stands up

and goes, well, let me tell you something, whatever Ben Sol has done. And he's just such a zipper, he'll be spared. I don't even remember that, I gotta go watch that. Oh, funny. I like Matt Dillin, man. He was great, I mean, he was such a bad ass motherfucker. You know what I was jealous of, his hair?

Oh, cause whole thing, man, he's still a great look. He still looks great. Yeah, but back then he had the hair. Oh man, yeah. It was that parted down the middle and it feathered back. Yup. And I could never do it because I had cowlicks. Yeah, I had a cowlicks too.

And I remember one year, my hair went curly. It went from straight to curly. And I was so, I had like a perm one summer. Like my hair was long, but it was just tight, like a Brady. And I was like, I went from almost Matt Dillon to fucking Greg Brady in like a summer. And I was so fucking mad. And I remember my sister was,

look at your hair and think you gotta pay him. I remember my sister was looking at your hair and thinking, you gotta pay him. I was like, you fucking cunt. We, my parents rent today. Do you ever go on vacation with your family? Sure. Do you ever go on like a lake or where did you go? Yeah, we went to Maine one time.

No shit. Yeah. We went to Long Island to like a little, I remember one, the Lepurcan colony. What? It to like a little, I remember one, the Lippercond colony. What? It was like a little, you know, it was like a little place out in Long Island somewhere. The Lippercond colony, we're like,

ooh, Lippercond colony. Yeah, we're doing it to my cousins. They lived up in the Saratoga by the lake. We went there a couple of times. Saratoga, New York. Yeah, with the horses. Yeah, one of my cousins, you know, my cousin, Dill, who's really the still the funniest person ever, but he, uh, he lived

up there because he escaped, you know, he moved up there. They lived up there. They moved up there when they were little because my uncle, I guess he was a printer and he got a job as a printer in Saratoga. So then family moved up there from Brooklyn. Right. They only moved up there for two years and he lost a job, came back to the Brooklyn. Then Dylan borrowed money of this pretty famous mob. Famous enough, mobs who I still don't want to say his name even though he's long dead, you know. Really?

Dylan borrowed money off the guy. He's not that famous. Are you afraid that he something might happen to you? I'm afraid that his son might hear and get my cousin. I'm honored that you think my podcast is popular enough where a mob, I might affect somebody's life. You never know you know, well, I do know I can show you the numbers The numbers are great kidding go ahead. I'm joking with the fuck I'm like breezes. I thought the numbers are great

But yeah, so uh so anyway, he borrowed the money with the guy and of course didn't pay. I mean, there's a gambler Yeah, and it just left town. He was like 19, he had to leave town. Right. So of course, he goes back up to Saratoga with the horses. The one place a mob guy would go out of the whole state. If there's one place a mob guy would leave New York City to go to, it would be to Saratoga. And he moves to a house behind the back stretch.

And one of the greatest moments of Dylan's life was he used to sell. He had this setup, I don't know if I've ever told you this, but he had this big guy working for him, this big upstate, like, you know, country boy, and Dylan was like the fast-talking guy, you know what I mean? And the big guy would fix cars, and then Dylan would sell him. And at one time, Dylan was out, I'm looking at the window, he's yelling at these three, like Ecuadorian transvestites. They're arguing and Dil on screaming at them,

screaming back at him, well the big guy's trying to fix this call with a big breath. The guy's a back brace on, you know, when will the call work, his back was shattered. And just watching this guy on this like, you know, nice pleasant morning, watching this Brooklyn crazy man, and this guy

fixing cars in three trannies like fighting was one of the best scenes ever. They have trannies up there. No, because they were with the, uh, with the guy. Yeah, it was during racing seasons that were with whoever the, you know, I don't know why that makes it justifiable. No, no, they're with the racing. Oh, okay. Uh, yeah, he's still up there.

Yeah, Ecuadorian trannies aren't the hottest by the way. Why? What Philly's Philly Pino's Philly Pino's I would see Brazilian. Yeah Thai Ecuadorian is like fucking at that's like That's like a pocket lip-lipto trannies. Like little flat face trannies. Oh, de calate. Ocale. O de calapo. You fear me.

Is that real? Are you making that up? No, that's just making up. When a girl starts yelling at you. Fucking one of the greatest, scariest, creepy things in a movie ever. How great was that movie? I mean, not one lick of fucking it. You had to watch this shit with subtitles.

I'm not a subtitle guy. The movie has to be really good to get me to fucking do that. Really good. That I agree with you. That is the most underrated movie of all time. Of all time. It's so brilliant. Same thing. It's an action time. Of all time, it's so brilliant.

Same thing. It's an action movie. And you can watch it. Well, what kind of subtitle, I like subtitle movies, but guess what? If it's subtitle movies on, after I sort once, I'm not like, oh, I gotta keep watching this. Every time it's on, I can't leave the screen.

I can not not watch it. Yeah. It starts out, it's like good fellas for indigenous tribes. 1500. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. What do you want to pant that? What do you want to pant that?

Ha ha ha ha. It's so so. It's so it's so fucking great. And this lunatic. I mean, through it all the way because of his whatever the fucking religious beliefs. Well, that's one interpretation. I would say that he was full. That he didn't throw it all. He obviously, whenever he said, I'm saying he didn't do anything. What he said was offensive, but to have this guy be pushed aside

That have that brilliant movie be pushed aside because of what he said. It's a little it's a little too much to my Passion of the Christ say I'm passionate Christ. Yeah. Oh my god. Not I mean of course a paga lipdo is I would put way above it But oh that little girl why doesn't that little girl get an Oscar? Wow Anybody that wants to see if you haven't seen a apocalypse don't trust me We're not just two guys telling you this this movie is unbelievable. I mean we are just two guys telling you that I take that we actually are two guys in a fucking somebody else's bedroom mind minding or not minding your business and telling you You got to say but that movie in your business and telling you you gotta say, but that movie is so brilliant.

And. Here's the thing, if you don't get past the first 10 minutes of that movie, that's what happened to me as I watched, I was like, I'm not watching this, I'm not getting through, oh this is fucking, subtitles,

the fucking teaching of the fear and fuck off. And then once you get past that first 10 minutes, then you're like, oh my God, the first 10 minutes was so awesome. Yes. You know what I mean? But if you can't get past it, if you know, the first time I watched that in length,

I was like, what the, I couldn't stop. I wanted to watch it again. Like, loan some dove, the first time I watched loan some dove. I was like, I want to watch it again. It's a six hour epic. It's amazing. You know what I like about it? Is it they showed you how, I don't know what's the one to go. I was like, I wanna watch it again. It's a six hour epic. It's amazing. You know what I like about it?

Is it they showed you how, I don't know how factual it was, but I would assume that it had, like the way they made the pyramids, the way those workers work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And with the bodies just thrown away, I mean the sacrifices,

I've been to Guatemala, I've been to Guatemala. I've been to Guatemala City is covers all those pyramids like if you were to dig under the houses and the buildings there's pyramids there those those fucking pyramids and I went to a site right in Guatemala City It's right under some fucking street looks like a park a park, you go in, you pay a dollar, and they're slowly uncovering a temple.

And it just happened, it's 2000 years, the dirt and the trees and the leaves fall and people die and things and it covers and covers and covers and covers. And then all of a sudden there's 20 feet of dirt on a, it'll be like covering this building. 2000 years from now, this building, you know, a 2000 years from now this building won't be here. They'll be under dirt and the new building will be on top of it or whatever. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, so

I went I went there and I was like oh my god, they were telling me this is where they probably sacrifice people And this is where the king was or the whatever the fucking mind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty crazy I picked up a knife off the ground a Obsidian knife really yeah, like they it was pretty crazy. I picked up a knife off the ground a Obsidian knife really yeah like they they used to get it's the the lava rock You know, it's a glass and they would chip it off and it would it just chips off into almost like a blade And then I used that to cut the fruit To cut into animal flesh and shit like that the lava rock does? Yeah, obsidian.

It's called obsidian. Wow. And they would use that for knives. You can walk around. I found a bowl in the ground. Like on the, you walk down this cliff near a tree and there's a piece of pottery sticking out of the ground from a thousand years ago.

Just crazy. And you found it? Wait a minute. Yeah. So what did you bring it to somebody and have it price? Well, the phrase well here's the thing It's not worth not really worth any because it's little pieces. You need not the whole thing Yeah, well the knife well the night well here

I took a I pocketed a bunch of the obsidian knives right in a couple pieces of the clay pots As my little thing and I was in the airport and I got food poisoning the night before and I was shitting and pissing You know just fucking violently all night and I was sweating and I was going through the customs and I had This shit on me in my pocket and I was you know, it was delusional. Yeah I'm sweating and I'm like they're gonna stop me they're gonna pat me down So the first chance I got it just went to the bathroom and there was a bathroom attendant in there and I wrapped it in and I'm like, they're gonna stop me, they're gonna pat me down. So the first chance I got it, I just went to the bathroom. And there was a bathroom attendant in there. And I wrapped it in, and I'm throwing up, I'm shitting,

I'm on the floor, and then I just said, fuck this, I don't want to saw me. I wrapped it in toilet paper and I threw it in the garbage, but he just had to do the garbage. And these two TSA type guys walk in in the uniform. And I drop it in the garbage, and there's nothing in it so you just like clang hilarious and I just like I'm going to jail I'm dead but

I found it if they found it they would have been like go fuck yourself it's not it's not a panther pot you know what I mean do you think do you think you ever heard of much story was too long no but no do you ever hear a month of much story was too long? No, no, no. Do you ever hear Manta Zoom is revenge? Yes. And you know what that is? Yes. What? It's when you shit your pants, right?

But why? Because I'm, what, he called me. Because you got me a Zoom. Are you fucking happy though? Because it's related to what you're saying. You had the most literal version of Mantauma's revenge ever Montezuma was the king yeah of those my ends or ink is on one of those right yeah

When people that conquered him would have destroyed his great civilization they always get the shits right mm-hmm But you literally took you defiled the property of Montezuma's pyramid settle down in case people listen I remember your mob guy thing. I'm pretty much the government What do you think they don't think I'm crazy for the well who knows you what do you think? Do you think the mob guys gonna kill your cousin? You think goddy was a goddy? I got no no no hey no names my pretty amazing bullfighting, hey, no names. My brother is raising both of them. I'm gonna fight against Joe. Say, hey, no names. The, uh, but uh, Montezuma literally you defy what when you started picking up those

thank you objects. That's why you got sick that night. Maybe I mean, it could be that I'm a fucking asshole and I tried to eat Guatemala like I was fucking on a travel channel show. I remember Jack Vaughn, you know, he was the head of comedy center records at the time. to eat Guatemala, like I was fucking on a travel channel show. I remember Jack Vaughan, you know, he was the head of Comedy Central Records at the time. He took me and I kept going,

all right, what are we gonna go eat? He's like, I don't know, Bobby. He doesn't go there to eat. He goes there to see these beautiful places and go to the markets and, I mean, just travel through the fucking back roads of Guatemala, which is very dangerous at times and beautiful. And, you know, it's very,

I mean, if any of you that don't know Jack Vaughan, which is everybody in the world, he looks like a combination. He looks like, he looks like the only way he would not get attacked is because you might think this guy's got to be a CIA agent. Yeah. He looks like, he looks like he should be sitting

in a meeting with Pat Dixon. They should both be in like, like battle Creek Michigan. I like it. In the middle of like a stupid boardroom and a, you know, he, he holds sweets. We actually came up with this great show idea that, you know, he, you know, we should at the beginning of the thing, they show me with

tats and a knife and all that shit. And then it spins, and one guy's going to take the novice into the jungle and discover what outside of America is, and then it but it's him. And then he puts the hat on and gets the whip. Because he is totally, I mean, he knows he was taught by Navy seals in high school How to get through roadblocks because he grew up in Guatemala He lived there for five years. Wow, so his father survived two plane crashes and seven assassination attempts Wow, what was he at ambassador his father was he worked for the United States government

I don't know but in Guatemala for something. I don't know what it was But yes some it's not an ambassador, something like that. Jesus, I mean, Guatemala is one of those famous places. It was crazy. When he lived there, he, he, he has some crazy, his father and him have crazy stories. And you like, I can't believe it. I remember driving at one point, I looked over and I was so scared. Because the night before we're going to Guatemala, I read don't go to Guatemala.

I told you that night. Right. It said don't go on the website. The United States, hey, if you're going to Guatemala, don't go if you don't have to. I remember I ran, I got two money belts, but I was too fat for a money belt, because it goes under your stomach.

So I had to pull it up out of my pants up up to my tits. Right. So everybody saw me getting the money out of the money belt which defeated the purpose of the money belt. And I was so paranoid. I had 400 cash which you don't need 400 and go on. You can literally become the governor of a small town with 400 cash and Guatemala. I bring 400 cash because I'm gonna buy things. You know, I'm a tech guy. What am I gonna get down there, right? So I go down to the first day there,

we get in Tigua and we get to this beautiful outdoor restaurant and it's cobblestone streets. It's the same streets for the last fucking, you know, 400 years, the sunsetting, it's like the old, it's 400 years ago is what it's, it's, it's, it's, 400 years ago is what it is. With Taurus, you go into this, this, this restaurant and it's outdoors and I go up, I'm gonna use the bathroom and I'm checking my money every 10 minutes because I'm so scared because Jack said to me,

listen, man, they can still, you're underwear at this place, the pick pockets. So be careful. So I check it in the toilet. I go downstairs, we eat. I'm like, you know, sauce, I eat, you know, what do you want the biggest plate you got? Give me the combo plate. I want to try. What do you want, you know, fucking, just eat your fat gringo.

Yeah, right. We leave, we're on the road, it's raining, we're on the jungle. There's a point where he looks at me, he goes, look dude, for the next 15 minutes, if I say we're going, we're going. So just look at man, this is a dangerous, this is when you were saying, could something happen here,

something could happen here. And then we wound up on DeGdog highway, and I was like, why is it called DeGdog? And then dun dun dun, we ran over a fucking dead dog. You know what I mean? And then I go to get my money out of my money belt, gone, I left it on the toilet. I took the money belt off to take a piss

and I left it on the toilet. So some got a mallendude found $400 in the bathroom, the American. Oh my God, I probably, I let you go back and try to find that guy and see what happened. He might have become a new guy. I guarantee the restaurant has new Like a new front door a new name

Yeah, do you ever think about doing shows like that like traveling? I mean, I you know my favorite when we had a blast going to Japan going Iraq, I mean we had a blast traveling. That was fun It was it was fun. It's it's Flying on a plane with you is not fun. No. No, you shut, you're weird on a plane, dude. You, I wish I could almost do what you do on a plane. Yeah, I go right to sleep.

It's fucking crazy. You go in, first of all, you're like homeless when you get to the airport. Like, you have a bag with a shirt sticking out of it. But you lack nothing, you have everything. You have, there's nothing, for some reason, you've got it everything. It's like there's no, I've been up for days.

I have the best suitcase. I have a backpack that turns into a shoulder bag that has a battery in it. I have, and you just show the fuck up. I know you packed the flights at six, you packed it fucking four, 58. Uh, you, and I was at the airport two hours early. I'm at the gate with my fucking latte.

I'm ready to go with a thing around my neck that has my passport, and then my phone, and you show up with a shirt hanging out of a bag and a jacket on your shirt and a hoodie and you woke up an hour and a half, maybe an hour ago and you made it, you're there. You get right to fuck on the plane and whether it's two hours or 15 hours, you sit in that seat, you don't care.

What, you don't give a fuck if the seat goes all the way back. A brand new fucking sleeper seat from American Airlines. And it has a 14 inch plasma that has all the movies that had just came out, Iron Man 3. I mean, just came out with private interviews to American Airlines customers. And then, I mean, whatever you want for dinner, like anything, a personal pizza,

but not even like a small, like a 14 inch pizza with Sundays, and you will fucking put that hood over your head, lie back and go the fuck to sleep. And you wake up, thought 40 minutes before we're landing, you're gonna smile on your dumb face, and you're ready to go. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

And, but how about, how about the, I would love to travel more. There's one of the biggest things I regret. You know, I was thinking about, you know, I always tell people a story of like, you know, people always go, you know, you got banned from,

you know, I got banned from Afghanistan, I rack. And the story is that, you know, I said something when they told me not to speak what do you mean? You know like I made jokes about the Afghani the hot the boy haunting I don't really know the fucking I don't know the story I I heard I've been told two different stories One this and then you told me no story where you didn't know what happened yet You thought it was a tell and they just banded you by accident. No Somebody else might have said that.

So, all right. So it's you. You thought a towel, no? All right. What was it? Well, there's two versions. One is the version that I said some things about, you know, the boy hunting, the habits, the proclivities of the Afghani guys to go and, you know, fuck young boys and, you know,

proclivities. Yeah. Go ahead. The bang the young boys. Thank you. Thank you. And now, remember who's listening? Me. And the, and that, the one story that makes sense

on a certain level, because I did say things that they told me don't say that. Right. Because I just couldn't help it. But the story that's probably croak closely to the truth is that the person that ran it, who will remain nameless, since I think everybody listens to truth is that the person that ran it will remain nameless since I think everybody listens to your podcast. The person that ran it, named it on my last trip with Nick DiPolo and Bobby Kelly, the

person that ran it was starting to aggravate us. So one night we're outside of a room and we start to talk about, talk shit about it. Bob would you like to take a picture from here? I mean, look, this lady is used to people who are grateful, who are there to help the troops, who are there for one mission and one mission only. So, you know, musicians or actors, or she's used to people who are there, you know, she's not

used to self-centered ball-blasting East Coast fucking shitticks who only care about two things, eating and laughing. That's all we care about. We show up in this poor, heavy set woman, how to put up with our shit. And she's very regimented, very military. Yes. Very military. And we're not military guys.

We don't like taking orders. And one of us didn't like taking orders, and especially from a big woman. Well, woman, and then a big woman, one of us. I'll, this three of us. Follow us. See you guys, right? So I remember we're on this bus and she's,

she started day two fucking with me and Nick and Boston Balls a little bit, kind of fucking with us and saying shit and we don't take to that either. We do that to each other. It's like when you fans, like when you guys will say something terrible on Twitter and then we block you and you get mad and it's like, oh it's just kidding. We don't like it of you guys will say something terrible on Twitter and then we block you and you get mad and it's like oh it's just

Kidding we don't like it from you. We only like it from each other She and she did some shit and she was you know, let's go kind of talking to us strong and We're out in front of our house. There's a beautiful night in and actually Fuji, Japan. Yes at the bottom of Mount Fuji One of the most beautiful places in the world. A beautiful night too. Yeah, we were there. Swarthed wind, summer wind.

Unfuckin' believable. And we're sittin' there at Trashiner. Like, you know, she fuckin' does this. I'm a fuckin' Trashiner. Yeah, and then I looked up. And meanwhile, no, but I'm the guy, like I'm the guy trying to calm these guys down. And I'm goin' look, guys, look at it from her perspective.

She's this fat lonely thing. Oh, God. I start talking about calling a fat lonely. I go, I know she's a fucking pain in the ass, but look at it. She's got nothing going. Uh, it was brutal. And then I look up and then fuck it. I see, I see the screen there was no

window it was just screen I see I can see the shiny glass was pushed up and I point up but just to the pussy I am I went and as soon as I said it we all went oh shit we all clamped up when they, and we saw two little fat feet coming down the stairs. We got busted, and it was like, we're all grown men. Sincerely, I'm in my, I'm the youngest of the group. I'm in my mid 30s. Oh. And we all got scared.

We even depolled. I don't know. And then she comes out, she comes out and confronts us Confronts us, but in a very hey listen if I've stepped over any boundaries I apologize. I'm just trying to do my job I thought that maybe that's what you guys liked and I was just trying to assimilate to make things easier But I have a schedule and I my job is to make sure you get where you go because these troops are important to me And I know they're important to you So I apologize and it will not happen again.

Then she steps back in and before she shut the door, the door opens back up and she puts her head back out and she goes, but next time you wanna talk shit about somebody, don't do it under their open window. And then the Apollo goes, yeah, there goes, that fucking apology. Yes. And I was like, God,

damn. Oh, God, damn. Oh, God, damn. I don't know how we go. So my second theory is how I got banned. Yeah.

Is they probably might have been like, Hey, you work with this guy. Was that was that was he a problem? Because you did this one thing. We don't know. And she was like, which she did what I would have done in the circumstances. Yeah. Fuck him. Right. That cock sucker. have done in the circumstances. Fuck him.

Right. That cock sucker. Yeah. Tell him to go fuck him. So it could have been either one who knows. Well, you know, look, she actually was cool. The second time I went back,

with you, when we went to Iraq, yeah, we had a way better time with her, I think. I think we didn't have any problems with her. I remember that. No, it's true. Yep, with Steve Burns, I mean. Yeah, Steve Burns, and that was a fun trip. That was a blast. That was so good, man.

And then, yeah, I went back with Dane. I remember when we were flying into Fallujah to drop off ammo. And I leaned over to you, I go, hey, man, you know how famous you are when you, you know, the famous you are when you've, they have you making a pit stop in the fucking SUNY triangle with ammo on the plane you think Bob hope of it did that

Listen, yeah, we're gonna take we're gonna take burnt Reynolds down and the SUNY triangle Flas was shooting out of the plane Yeah, they didn't give a fuck about us. No, no, no I wouldn't see burn when I turned to see burn when they were shooting those things up They thought it was like a they said if this goes off, that's gonna happen to anyone in the front. And then it's a shoot, know the things, like something was, and I go, Steve,

and he looks at me, I go, Steve, at least I kind of made it with you will never know. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha is that they brought you guys up front and she didn't bring me. Remember that? Oh, no. She would always leave me behind. I'm not even kind dude and I'll be honest with you now. It hurt me so bad. It hurt me like, it was the pain of my existence. Like if I could say what was the thing that

pained you the most in your life? Not being picked by people that should pick me. I liked it. And she I liked it. I remember she came back and she probably knew it. And she would call them. They were like, call, you want to come up front? Yeah. And she went Steve. Because she calling you want to come up front. Yeah, and she went Steve Because she love because here's those people in life. I look I love Steve. You know that I'm I have nothing bad about Steve And Dan is one of those guys too and these these guys that come up and I call them neutrals You know what I mean where everybody loves them? You know what I mean? You know Dan is corporate Dan. Nobody's not gonna like Dan

I don't know what I mean, you know, Dan is corporate Dan. Nobody's not gonna like Dan until he fucking snaps. And he's not gonna snap. Yeah, right. I, there's something about me, what Patrice said it, you're not with Bruce Banner trying to be the Hulk. You're the Hulk trying to be Bruce Banner. Well put.

Okay, very well put. Just be the Hulk. Right, you know. And I remember she came back and she was like, Steve, and they just left me there. And I was so mad, I could have cried, Kong. I could cry right now thinking about it. Honestly, God, if I really thought about it,

I could tear up. Because I remember I was just sitting there by myself in that little fucking net seating in the C-130. And I've always, I've like I've always I've always want I'm but I'm mean calling a really good friends, right? Like he doesn't really know Steve's here because Steve asked him and Steve's brother's here, right? I'm friends with this mother fucker, right?

You fuck but she liked Steve better than me. She did Apps a fucking lootly did and I remember she picked them up there and then I went, I finally got my shot, I think two more times later. Right, right. But it was like, Robert, do you want to go? Almost like, do you want to go to? Well, she's still probably made from a last trip. But I didn't do anything. But wait a minute. What? No, you were talking shit. Too many of you didn't do anything. In case she listened to this podcast and she doesn't remember who did what I didn't do anything It was all like to follow it was all like but we went on the Japan to first and then we went to Japan first Which was awesome?

It wasn't look how do you say this without fucking? Sounding I look I love chip. I love going supporting the troops anywhere. Yeah I go to fucking Jersey. I don't give a shit, I go up to St. New York, I've done it. But when we went to Iraq, it's somehow about your life being in danger too, that makes it somehow, like, okay, I'm really, I'm really doing something now.

Well, it's really called the theater, the war, the theater. But Japan was fun. I remember the kid was on the boss with us, that Navy kid, he. He was you know interviewing or whatever. Oh yeah. And I remember he he was asking me he's just talking for our two hours straight just about politics and yeah. And I was like do you believe in this? And you were quiet you were you were typing on your little white Mac? Yeah, you had this you had you always writing right and then the Paula was writing in a notebook trying to keep up with you

I have Quinn's white and I got a fucking right cock sucker. I want to take a nap But this fucking asshole setting the curve cock fucking sucker, and then Remember the kid and then around it I want to have in Yes, I remember exactly. I go, Bob's peppering him with questions. Bobby gets him like five in a row, blah, blah, blah. He goes like, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And the kid was like, kind of a young, maybe 19 year old, kind of pretty boy kid, you know. Kind of, you know, and then suddenly Bob goes, give us a cock. And I know where. And the kid goes oh What do you say? No, right? No, why would you ask that? But he said no in a way that meant we took as he yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. Have you do you want me to yeah? Yeah, that was a lot of fun man. I was like Jesus Christ. I wish we could I

Wish we could tour together again. What's it get to go soon? Yeah. You got five more minutes? Yeah. What time are you gonna be out here? Let me all out. 7.30. I got you. I wish we could go on. That's one thing I hate is that we, we, we, we, we all, yeah.

We're all out spread out over the fucking world trying to, and we, you know, I'm over here and you're over there and Norens over there and, you know, DePaulels over there, you know, it would be great if we could just say, fuck it, let's just go. We'll do a theater, we'll split the fucking money. Yeah, what if it gives a fuck? Well, I don't know, it sucks that we have

so much fun together on the road. There's nothing better than being in a hotel room with your other comic friends, getting breakfast, walking around the stupid town. Some of us getting noticed. Some of us not. And there's nothing worse than when it's just you out by yourself. I mean, you get a little work done, I guess, but it's not the same. It's not fun. Like you like you said, that feeling when you're in your hotel room, but you know, your friends are down the whole thing being a kid. Yeah. It's like being a kid again. Yeah. Yeah, it's the fucking best feeling knowing that you're gonna wake up

We we want to go go get some food Get to sleep do the show after the show you go out somewhere plus no one you only have to do about 25 minutes Oh no pressure. There's no pressure. No anxiety It's sold out because we all fucking just put it together and yeah, and it's just it's beautiful I it sucks that we can't do that anymore and there's so many people do why are you guys just don't we can't say it all the time You can't everybody has different agents everybody has different bills and everybody pulls different tickets Yeah, yeah, do you sell good on the road? in some towns

I'm no Jim Norton, but I do okay What about Norton? I tell you that great i rack story right when he left at the end oh no that was psychopathic you know we'll explain it now he at the end there were two weeks in iraq in the theater where in the theater at the beginning two thousand three at the fucking beginning when it was real dangerous two thousand three we go there for two weeks Mayhem, loy come on and at the end of the tour would you know, we're all coming back, right?

It's me and loy and maybe uh oh and uh, so we're all coming back and We get to the airport after you know, he kind of bond you know you're over there and a couple of weeks together Or day and night constantly in the same rooms and the same, you know, you so, and we get off the plane, we go to get our bags and then Norton's bag is on the other carousel. This is JFK. So he gets his bag and then I see him walking, I start laughing because it was being funny. He takes his bag like, you know, you get off the two, he's gonna say goodbye. He takes his bag and just while we're waiting for our bags, what doesn't turn around and look at us, walks out, towards the, you know, the cause,

to get a car and go back to Manhattan. So I start laughing like that's funny. You know what I mean? He gets in the car and leaves. So then I was like, that's even funnier. This son of a bitch actually committed to fucking being the asshole that doesn't say goodbye after two weeks of bonding with people in all these things.

And it was all. And it was all. And being on planes for hours together in all these different places and meet all these experiences. I go, that's fucking even funnier. The balls to pull that bullshit to be that dick. I call him later. I go, hey, what's up?

Is there a guy? Or I saw him the next day and I was like, hey, fucking fuck. He was, what? I go Is it good? Or I saw him the next day and I was like, hey, uh, fucking fuck, what, I go. You fucking, I realized he didn't even, he wasn't doing a character. He was just being an asshole. That didn't say goodbye to people that he's just spent two weeks with. I guarantee you that some massage showing up. That's what he said.

Yeah, but so what? You don't not, you didn't even wave goodbye If you have a massage well guys, I'm so sorry what it will catch up later on tomorrow You know just fucking tone your back on people and what That's fucking what do you do over there? That's the my story. What do you told me? What was the other thing that he did? I story what do you tell me what was the other thing that he did? Um, I don't know the original thing that you came up with. Well, one thing he did, I don't know if this is what you mean, but you brought up the story. You were like, no, no, no, no, he did over there.

Well, on New Year's Eve one time, it was New Year's Eve. We were over there for New Year's. It was right, but the thing I regret to this day is that man he passed away during the time we were there, right, but we couldn't cancel, you know, but it was just, oh, I guess it's the end of 2003. And um, but no,'t cancel, you know, but it was just, Oh, I guess as the end of 2003. And, but no, what new year's Eve, I think we just found about Mani that day. And she goes to us, Tracy.

She goes, look guys, it's a little bit of a problem. They, there's been some, you know, missile attacks, so they might not be a show tonight. We were supposed to be a show over there, and we ended up doing the show, but she said, so this is a chance we might have to cancel a show. Where these barracks, she goes, she goes to shooting missiles at the base.

So for the troops to get over there could be a problem. All right. So I'm like, yeah, I get it, you know, I'm the fucking headline, and nobody knows what I'm doing. Suddenly a beast starts buzzing around, we're monitoring to himself. It was like, I hear a buzzing sound.

Like I thought there was a, a beluce in that fucking thing. There's nobody in the barracks except me him and Lord, come on in this. Like, what's that sound? I see, turning around and walking around in fucking circles, like a fucking, like a silent movie star, like when it's speeding up the film, walking on buzzing to himself

modeling is this goddamn fucking tadpole What I've never missed a new year show in 12 years What I know I've never missed a new year show. I don't show every new years for 12 years Oh, well, I'm glad we know what this trip is about. Your shitty record of fucking Jersey, one night is on New Year's. Not the fucking possibility of giving a few laughs

to guys that might die. So you can continue doing your shitty fucking Piscataway Ues Eve show, talk sucker. I just wanna go, he is a prototype of a robot that just doesn't, it's not, it doesn't have the full emotion chip, like the updated emotion chip, you know what I mean? Like, here, I knew you, we have to do show on New Year's. New Year's show, New Year's show. No, yeah, I didn't even know it was fucking New Year's, when I rock. And it wasn't

like a big New Year's party, it was like, hey, we're gonna try to get a few troops into a little corner of a, you know, the palace palace that's not being you we ended up doing a show and it was like a bunch of true I mean, it wasn't like a big that you know Well, so if one of us gets we're gonna wrap this up You got to go but if one of us gets famous again, we have to go back to Iraq We have to be you have to be famous enough to supersede What's her name? I'm sure the band is off by now your bands off I Assume it's off somebody at the USO somebody in the army the marine the Air Force the Navy the Coast Guard

Let's go. Let's get me and let's get me and calling over there. Yeah, the return the reunion tour the reunion tour We'll get Steve burn maybe Steve burns been twice. He goes on his own now that he's more famous than both of us Sun of a bitch. Yeah, he brings his one. He brings his no he bring his famous. He's got his own show Sullivan Sullivan sons us. Oh tour Sullivan and son of a bitch. It should bring us yeah Wait, he bring it. He's bringing his friends who he has on his show He went and got it let all his friends on his show, which is a great thing That's awesome what show second season of Sullivan and so? But I'm saying is it shoot LA or Chicago?

It shoots in LA. LA. Yeah, LA. What a good guy. Right? Yeah, we're in a fucking hot. It left us high and dry. Especially Sullivan.

You know, you're Irish. I'm Irish. I'm Irish. Yeah, you see these assholes. Robert. First time I went to Iraq when he's two douche banks. Believe me, it was a long time ago. Tracey, I never liked them, I never trusted them.

That's why I threw rocks all day into them. Remember that? That's right. Just bugged me. Oh my god, who's a rock phone machine? Hey, I just sat there because he loves baseball. Yeah. He had a plan, he knew where he was going.

Right to Sullivan and son. All right, buddy. Thanks, brother. So check out Colin on. Thanks, brother. So check out Colin on Twitter. Oh, yeah. I'm going to be doing my own constitutional show. I'm trying to get a theater and try to start running it.

Maybe next week. Oh, shit. I'll find out Wednesday. Just for a couple of, it's only going to run for a couple of weeks. Okay. Maybe near the cell. There may be some competition for the cell in the underground in a week when my show's up for two weeks on Barrow Street

Okay, but it's not official. Okay, so how will we know follow you on Twitter on Twitter? I am Colin Quinn. You're probably everybody always follows me if you don't follow me He's probably one of the greatest guys to follow on Twitter one of the funniest guy who who literally captured the way You should do Twitter and you can't you can't do it because you just be hacking off him, which sucks, but I am calling Quinn at I am calling Quinn on Twitter. Yes. Follow him. Find a one to show is he's amazing.

You're one of my best friends. Thanks for coming on and doing this little one on one. I appreciate it, man. Thanks, Bobby. I loved it. Okay. Love you. Hang on. Bye. All right. Hey, what's up? Fuckers. Make sure you go to my website, Robertkellylive.com, and check out all my dates, my tour dates, at Robertkellylive.com.

It's fucking fantastic, little website for you. Comics, Fox Woods, 27th, 28th, 29th. You know what, dude? Podcast show. Lewis Gomez, Califistuca, myself will be there all weekend. We'll do it a bunch of shows at the Fox Woods, the 27th, 28th, 29th.

And then we're doing a nasty show on Saturday. So come down, spread the word, Connecticut, Boston, Rhode Island. And we're gonna be doing some maybe A podcast at some point either after one of the shows or before We'll let you know as the date gets closer and then I'm going to just for laughs for a long fucking time a long fucking time holy shit fucking time the 16th of July To the 28. I don't even know if that's legal. So there you go. Go to my comedy fucking website for more information, bio, photos, love, whatever you want. Facebook,

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So, what the fuck are you gonna do? But get the app if you have an iPhone. And get the Rycast app if you have an iPhone. Get it all, it's all free. Free, free, free, free, free, free, free. Fuck, it's free! God. So there you go. So check it out. Make sure you go to tweetaudio.com by yourself, non-might, wood grain, green, lime green, white, all kinds of colors, all kinds of styles, and their great quality headphones for a cheap price and get this.

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YKWD at ridecast.com. I'm sitting in my underwear right now on my iPhone with my awesome mic that I got from Carl and I'm doing I'm fucking fucking the bottom You know what I'm doing I'm just proxering, I'm suckin' You know what I'm doing Don't stop filming my face. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan.

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