Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - 11 is after 10 | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #28

Episode Date: January 9, 2025

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder learn how to tell stories, if Brokeback Mountain was played by Heath’s Joker, who of the REGZ is the gayest, wrestling heavy stories, who has had threesomes and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital. LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/  Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://twitter.com/luisjgomez  Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedyhttps://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/  SPONSORS   Small Batch Cigar https://www.smallbatchcigar.com/ (https://www.smallbatchcigar.com/) Code: REGZ for 10% off + 5% Rewards points Lucy Get 20% off first order w/ code “REGZ” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up everybody? We're back. Holidays are over. The regs. We got Joe List aka the True Dan Soda aka Corporate Dan. Louis J Gomez aka the Rattlesnake. Uh oh, new nickname coming in. Puerto Rico Rattlesnake, King of Things, the ultimate minority, the artist formerly known as the Harrison of MMA radio, the original real ass dude.

I gotta take a shit. King of Things? And of course me, Robert Kelly, the dude. The dude. we're back guys. It's good to see you. 2025. We have so many topics that we've talked about chicken off stage that we said, save it. Yeah. One, Jim Norton's advice show. Nikki Glaser killed it. Um, what were the other ones? We're going to talk about Jim Norton's advice show. That's what Bobby wanted to talk about. No, no, no. Yes. Wow. Fuck. We're going to talk about it. There's advice show? That's what Bobby wanted to talk about. No, no, no. Yes? Wow. We're just gonna talk about it.

There's a podcast, guys, on a podcast. You said you wanted to talk about it. Well, it just is funny that he said I was on Jim Norton's advice show. And you said, bring that up on the show. Jim Norton has an advice show? Yeah. On what?

He's very wise. I was like, he's wise. He's got wisdom. No, no, no, his asshole's wide. There it is. Ha ha! God, I'm getting fucked by a penis. We should have him on the show,

because we were going to talk about how Dan said he wanted guests too, and Bobby, all three of us agreed, so it's three against one. We should have big guests. I didn't say we wanted guests. Yeah, I remember. We don't have guests! You said we wanted big guests.

I never said that. No guests, no direction, Dan. Dan! Skyrocket the show. Dan! We get guests, and it's gonna, it ruins the whole thing. Get Norton in here.

Soder. Why do you want guests so bad? Because we don't want guests. The numbers aren't going up. I want numbers through the roof. But do you think a guest is really gonna make the numbers go up? Of course. I think if we all did other shows together, that would grow this show more.

Like Story Wars. Yeah, we should all go on Rogan. Like Story Wars last week. We should all go on Rogan. We should do Rogan together. Yeah. yeah well doesn't have the balls to bring the regs on that would be fun it is a long and all fucked up your fortitude dude we could go all drunk and high no why we don't drink or get high I if you guys got drunk and high I'd also get drunk and high I get high still it might be

worth oh I can't do my eyebrows as fast as in. That's a wild thing. How fast do you move your eyes? I was a lonely child. Now Dan's got great eyebrow dexterity. I got ready. I got control dog. That's good. Now your whole head. Yeah, you did the, yeah, your, your ears are moving like an elf. Bobby, give me a Christmas wish quick. Make a tricycle here. Bobby, give me a Christmas wish. Quick, make a tricycle appear. My ears are moving?

Bobby's nose started moving like bewitched. Oh, he's lifting things with his mind again. Can you guys do this with your nostrils? Yeah. Who can't flare their nostrils? Yeah. Joe, that's not a real thing. I'm just starting off low so we can go up from there.

Other fun things to do with your body. What can you do with your body? I'm going to suck my own dick in about 10 minutes. By the way, the other day I didn't suck my own dick, but I did put myself in a position where I was like, I think I can suck my own dick. What were you doing in that position? We know you can suck a dick.

What? We know you can suck a dick. Not a dick, my dick. What did you, what position were you in? Why were you in a position like that? No, I just went down. But just sitting on a mat. I'm in better shape.

You probably could get there. No. With an assist? No. He could do it. I think I can get there, dude. You'd have to be rock hard. Just do it, we'll blur it.

You'd have to be very excited. If we're not getting gassed, you gotta suck your dick. You gotta get in your back, like on your shoulders, and let your dick drop into your mouth, like fish in a pond. Gravity. Gravity. Like the Tool album.

Is that what the movie was about? Yeah, it was about him sucking his own dick. Gravity. Like the Tool album. Is that what the movie was about? Yeah. It's about him sucking his own dick. At the end he does that. I saw Gravity in, what do they call it? The big one. Oh, the IMAX? IMAX, yeah, that shit was fucking wild.

Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. George Clooney died, right? I think. Whoa! I saw Nosferatu yesterday. How was it? I saw Ear-Feratu. You're back, baby.

Ha ha! Woo! I didn't like it. New year's ending. I didn't like it. I went and saw it with Jay and Christine. I didn't like it. Because you were hanging out with Jay and Christine.

No, it was funny. At one point, I had a great joke during the movie. Jay was asking me, he was like, we should go see the Nosferatu. I was like, yeah, let's go, dude, let me know. Wow. Let me nose. Wow.

I texted him, I said, have you seen Nosferatu? He said, no. I said, do you want to see it on Sunday? Did you go across the street? Lincoln Center? No. Wow. Let me know. Wow. Wow. I texted him, I said, have you seen Nosferatu? He said, no. I said, do you want to see it on Sunday? Did you go across the street? Lincoln Center? No, I went to Lincoln Square. Okay.

Wow. Sat up in the balcony. That's fucking awesome. I've never been in that theater. Very interesting. Wow. I'm hurt for you. Waiting for that phone call.

Wow. Dog, don't be looking at me. Control your man. They were riffing so well. I'm not gonna lie, I had two jokes during the movie that I was like, that was fucking good. There's a scene where Nosferatu goes to fuck Lily Rose Depp and the way they shot it immediately made me think of Top Gun, so I leaned over to Janis,

they're going, watching every moment. And it looked exactly like Top Gun. What was the joke that you said that was funny though? Where's the bomb denna? Here it is. Bomb, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man. Where's the bomb, Dan? Here it is. So I'm Dan, I had up, you guys, dude. You're in that theater, you're welcome. Yeah, I'm sure.

Cause I stood up and yelled it. Wasn't a joke, you just sang a song? Yeah, like Top Gun. It was a joke. You shouldn't have said that you had this great joke. I know, I fucked up. Yeah, what's the other one? Stay still.

Booger? Oh, dude! What did you just rip out? It was, it was hanging out of his nose. Let's give us the second What if my brain? What to be there no, come on second? Dan's your great second joke Dan gotta be there. I like it I think you got everybody to fight because you guys couldn't get an invite

I thought it as a fan as a fan of the bonfire the old bonfire. I like it. You missed out And what are you African-American? What's all this jibber jabber in during the movie? I knew it. I knew it. I can't say jibber jabber when you're talking about a boy. I can't call him jibber jabbers, dude. I'm saying the chatting, chit chatting is what I meant.

No, I leaned over and whispered it. What's the other joke? I'm not telling you guys. I had to be there. I forgot it. Come on, dude. I forgot it. Come on.

I forgot it. I love Dan. I'm sure I'm on Dan. My new favorite thing is not confident Dan. I forgot it. Come on. I forgot it. I love Dan. My new favorite thing is not confident Dan. I don't believe in myself. Yeah, you're a cinephile. So you probably go and observe the lighting. I mean, I'm not. He fucks underage cinemas.

He goes, did you just open? You think he talks about the movie and the- No, he takes it all in. Joe watches a movie like this where he goes. Like this? He does this? Yeah, he goes, oh, oh, that shot. Does he stay for the credits? Oh, he goes, oh, that was who the best boy was.

I don't do any of that. Yeah, you do. I just like movies slightly more, I'm just slightly more critical. So you guys are like, you're a cinephile. I'm like a retard. I love Top Gun. I jerk off the Top Gun.

Top Gun Maverick was awesome. I hated it. What's your favorite movie? Ooh, great question. I just want to see. You know what? Go fuck yourself. That is a great fucking question. To a guy like this, of course. I thought it was going to be some fucking... Yeah, some French film. Yeah, some... He's like, you've never been to Boulangerie, you old... But I thought it was gonna be some fucking some French film. Yeah some All the time people like you're just a fuck what do you call it when you disagree just disagree no

You're just a contrarian fucking artsy fartsy. My favorite movies are like Jaws Rocky back to the future What we that you like that we wouldn't like I like I do like a lot of foreign films Especially in the last 10 or 15 years because America's No because America's making dog shit fucking movies like sequels and bullshit, but no it's right to I'll tell you that USA I want to say I want a fifth sonic I want a sixth sonic yeah, but this guy that makes no Sforato in all those movies I'm too dumb. I don't understand I don't like the way you said this for art to human knows what to lose for that. No, but those for up What does it call?

He called it nose for art to you like that I hate everything again today good Hey Everything about Dan Knees are cold. They'll come you What we're busting balls today folks what you name one of your favorite movies your French movies that we Love the paint me like French girls Titanic The French movie I love is a stranger by the lake to we talked about this before it's like a gay ports a gay

Thriller it's fucking unbelievable pull up some stranger by the lake. It's it's hardcore Do you like it fucking it's cuz it's that way really? That's what you just found out why like it's a great thriller It's one of the gay thriller. It is a gay thriller and the guys are Love thriller John Landis directed that unbelievable. Yeah. He knows it directly. I have the poster. Do you know who the director of photography was? It was a stranger by the lake. Yeah. Zoom in. I have that arceus fartseus film that you guys like arceus fartseus. Um, wrestle mania 28. Look at all the big blow to each other. What guys, all guys, no, no women in the film. Shut up. Zero women. If you like this, it all takes place in LA or a it's awesome. And this jizz in the back and miles and stuff.

Joe, where's those are all dudes on the fucking beach. You watch what I'm telling you. I've watched three times. He was in a road. It is he? Cause he's a cinephile because it's like a murder mystery. That's fucking crazy. I hope I get murdered. Why do y'all get murdered? Why do they have to? Why do they have to fuck? Because that's part of the, they could have just done it with a guy and a girl. Same movie. I saw knives out. That was a murder mystery. I like knives out. No gay fucking. Yeah, I like knives out. Joe wanted to be called penises out I liked it I don't know if Bobby liked it. I got a giggle from the in the booth.

That's a great film. That's an Austrian film. The Eight Mountains is a really gay artsy film that I love. What's the one about the fucking Brokeback Mountain? Brokeback Mountain is one of my favorite, top 10. Stop it. It's fucking awesome. What's the one about the Brokeback Mountain? What's the one about Brokeback Mountain? What's the one about Batman? I love Brokeback dude. You love, I never saw it. I couldn't. So why are you so critical of me liking it? I couldn't bring myself to watching a movie about two homosexuals. Were you afraid it was gonna make you into a gay cowboy? Yeah, what are you afraid about? Were you afraid that you were suppressing homosexual feelings for cowboys? No, it just seemed like a real homo.

I would like that movie. Have you ever seen Brooke McMountain? Yes. How'd you say it? Six times. How'd you say it? Brooke Mc? You said Brooke McMountain? What time? Oh, this is a funny story. Real quick, funny story. I was at the comedy condo at SideSplitters. Shout out. Hey! July 12th. Bobby's directing. Great comedy month. Where, uh, where are like a pretentious directors out? I have a beret. I ordered up Amazon. I'm a gay, uh, giant megaphone. Are you staying in the condo? No, I'm gonna get down, right? I'm gonna bring James. We're gonna fucking rent a houseboat. They're gonna fucking rent a houseboat. There's no house, not a lake. It says a lot about where your confidence is that you

took me dead serious when I asked if you were staying at the side splitters condo. You're like no no. Whoa hey it's my special. Of course you're not staying at the condo. I mean it's not that crazy of a question. Yeah Joe you're a great actor. Thank you. You're welcome. I mean it would be a great actor thank you you're welcome I mean it would be a bummer if you actually to be honest as I'm saying this I did stay at the condo last time they changed condos it's a new condo butterly when he opened up for me down there he stayed at the condo and I went to it and he was like playing video games in the dark there was no windows it was very fun two condos ago

though was where is the best condo is? Condo Denver Wait, I was telling a funny story You we learned from Dan don't say it's funny say it's a story I just say and then it was brother I love slap with this bandana so fast I have a boring unfunny shitty story that's gonna end That's how you should describe that shit. I fucking made the dumb unfunny, shitty story that's gonna end the book. That's how you do it. That's how you should have described that shitty shit. I fucking made the dumbest joke. Dude, I bombed.

I wanna hear the other joke. I forgot it, I genuinely forgot it. We were, me and Greg Stone were in the comedy condo, the old one, the shitty one, and I was telling him how great Brokeback Mountain is and he's never seen it. And it's like the one movie I have on my laptop. You are such a, it's crazy.

What's up with you? It's a great film. You're gay. You like gays. I like romance. You like men, women, trans romance. You like gays. Anyways, I was like, I was like, we should watch cause the TV was all fucked up. We didn't have a thing. So I was like, we gotta want, you gotta see it. If I was trying to fuck a man, this is the punchline. So I pull up the laptop and we're sitting there on the screen this big and I'm like, all right, you gotta see it. And so we're sitting there, it's balanced on our laps and Greg had a moment where he's like,

I think List is about to drop the fuck out. That's so funny. He goes, you know what would be really funny is if we pretended we were cowboys. There's a problem with that movie. It's gay sex. But when gay sex in a movie, I always picture it as clean as possible.

They were hurting fucking like animals all day. They haven't showered. And then they were just in a tent and they're sweaty and they get ass juice. And he went- What else you got? And he just stuck it in a dirty towel. He spits in his hand. Who was top?

As someone who hasn't seen it, who was top? Who do you think? I didn't even hear it. I know who's top. I would say Heath was Keith is definitely top dude Come on, of course after that fucking Batman performance. Did he do it? Did you do a joker? He's amazing? Oh, what if you want to know? My father used to fuck me like this

My father used to fuck me like this. This is a good man. Dan's back, Dan's back, Dan's back. You should have done this in the movies yesterday during this for us. The second joke I did avoid. That was good. I completely forgot the second joke. Oh dude, Heath is the joker fucking bro.

When they first fuck, they start off fist fighting. It's pretty sexy. They're like just beating the shit out of each other and then he turns around, fucks him in the ass. Oh! Oh, my relationship. He literally just goes, pah, and then puts it in to get a little juice and then in a dirty,

on a horse all day cowboy ass, which gross me out. But the most beautiful and poignant part of the movie is about fatherhood, not even the relationship. You can't get pregnant in the butt, dude. That's just not a real thing. Joe, I don't know who taught you how babies are made. He had to take a shit Joe. That wasn't a black baby. He actually shit. Yeah dude, they're shitting outside. You're not wiping right and then you just stuck it in a dirty. Full

flavor. That's what gays call full flavor. Even the horse was disgusted. The horse was like... He starts stomping it out. He goes, oh Wilbur, that's gross. He's like, oh fuck, this feels so, hey, did you notice the horse is freaking out? Oh, Wilbur's theater, April 19th. Hey, good luck. It's a beautiful film,

it's a beautiful film about love and regret. What it's really about is regret. It's a beautiful film about two fucking gay guys who cheat on their wives and ruin everybody's life. And then their kids have to fucking be like, yeah, my dad's gay. My other dad killed himself. That's the whole point of the movie. Don't be fucking, dude.

They kill themselves? One of them does. No, he doesn't. Which one? He doesn't kill himself. Jake Gyllenhaal. Jake Gyllenhaal does. Bobby's never seen the movie.

He doesn't kill himself. He gets fucking death by the Joker. Nah, he gets killed. He gets beaten with a fucking tire on him. Oh, Gyllenhaal was also a superhero villain. He was Mysterio. He was in Spider-Man. Ooh.

That's fun. Mysterio. Unbelievable. I think. I think it was at Schumer's wedding. Were you there? Which one? Schumer's wedding, the one wedding.

Schumer's wedding is another movie about gay people. No. I wasn't invited. Wow. Wow. Well anyways, Jake J. Lennel's fucking awesome. He's awesome. He is good, but that movie they were good the movie was good It was it was a weird movie and a lot I feel bad for a lot of guys who are watching that movie as a cowboy movie and then halfway it just anybody There's a couple people that were like no hundred percent

They don't show him kissing a fuck no that was in the trailer. There's a couple people that were like, no, 100% were like, Get the fuck outta here. Cause they don't show him kissing or fucking. No, that was in the trailer. No it was not. It was in the trailer. 100%, pull up the trailer. It was well known that it was a gay movie. Yes, I remember the trailer. There weren't two guys.

You don't think there was guys who went, No. When he, and stuck it in his butt in the tent. Oh, we were howling. Hank, can I ask you a question? What the hell you think you do with that spit? Well, I don't know his tent looked pretty secure But you also get Randy Quaid playing the the homophobic not homophobic. He was just a regular guy at the time

But he hated them. He was like you two are up there fucking playing boys up there. It's fun. Randy Quaid's great I love Randy Quaid. Yeah, no the trailer right away. It's because this is a big country came out Everyone was like, oh my god, there's a gay cowboy movie. This is silly And now by the way, but they don't gay movies are just right. It might have been there was a lot of fucking a lot of Lot of what what it took a long time to get to the fucking Also every shot in this movie first spectacularly beautiful. I mean, right there you're like, game over. That's not gay. Look at him.

Cowboys. Cowboys. It's by Fuck Us Films. Cowboys. Fuck Us Films was better than We Gave It Credit For. Cowboys. Do you want to fuck these sheep? I got a better idea.

Yeah, manly, punching each other. And the trailer turns. I remember it. Look, he's a bear. amazing the photography is incredible the sex is hot now I mean right in the trailer bow what'd you say that was a fight dude they were just became a secret they were getting changed it is show that changing all right look at that beautiful heartbreaking shot. There are places we can't return. Oh, and you see her tits by the way in the movie.

You see it in a lot of movies. Yeah, well you see them in this scene right here. Allison Williams, fantastic. Man, kiss the bride. Yep, ruined her life, ruined their lives. Gave the entire family AIDS. They're all fucking no dad. I had a great bit of Bobby couldn't be any fucking We are funny like that. They're funny funny Do we think that's being funny? No, you guys see this new cowboy movie they they pretend that they're gay with each other like we do it's pretty great

I'll buy us two tickets into popcorn. They're playing grab Just what we do up on the ranch. Holy shit, they're fucking. You know what I mean? It's real. Because he jumped around and was like, oh my God. They're hilarious cowboys. They're just like us. When they fucked, when they actually went for it, and they're dead, that was a little shocking. The little holding.

It's just like us. And then he was just like, oh, he's just fucking him. That was a left-hander. It was 100% shocking because you you see this you're like, oh, it's two gay cowboys and then about 40 minutes in they're like fistfighting And he spits in his hand and hocks the loogie in his asshole and fucks him like well, that was a left-handed Well, we He's getting fucked well Positive assessment of the gay sex. I don't want to be, like, it's just against God.

What do you want me to say? Joe's like, it's an ungodly movie. Would you want to be fucked well? Or just, right? In a gay movie? Yeah. If I'm an actor in a gay movie, I want to make it look like, that was bad sex. Ew.

You think you're gonna be busy. You don't see your back arch. I just start pushing Good he puts a finger in your mouth It's fish hooking you what scene what's gayer what's gayer getting fucked well in a movie or having to What's gayer getting fucked well in a movie or having to make out passionately with a guy in a movie? Making out is the gayest thing. I've said it for years. Making out is way gayer. You kind of could try to make the PAs laugh if you were doing it. If you're like, ooh, ooh, and they're like, you're not gonna get the sound guy laughing?

If you're making out, they're like, and action. You have to be like... Now, making out's the gayest. I'd rather suck a man off three, four men at once. Joe, I wouldn't put my dick near your mouth. That's good, I'd just put my mouth to your dick. Damn, that's how you know he's good at blowing. He brings the action. You stay right there. Just got a mouth like a wood chipper.

I think we've heard that line. Can I hear it? Wood chipper, really? I don't think so. Yeah, I bet so. I go through, yeah, yeah, you never did but you stealing it from these guys And ever hear of somebody a bomb bandana for a for a flat tire I just did I'm here a tire that wasn't a flat tire here of tires up. That was just a hurtful joke. I'm here of Invisalign Is a face That's good. Honestly, I wish I had Invisi-Face.

That was good. Honestly, I wish I could take the bomb down the back because I like that one so much. Had some good ones, but. Right. But yeah, they let it be known it was a gay movie in the trailer. Yeah, gay movies.

I mean, it wasn't. Are there any gay movies that you like where there's a gay love story in it? Was that the first movie that two guys, well-known guys, fucked? I think so, yeah. Because I think that's the thing that shocked people is that we've seen gay movies with well-known guys fuck I think so. Yeah, I think that's the thing that shocked people Is that we've seen gay movies are well-known guys, but they kissed or did gentle whatever and they cut yeah

This is the first movie where they showed what's that Al Pacino movie that's cruising cruising Wow that's gay movie That's one of the gayest Scream you go from the godfather to cruising you are it takes you a couple years to shake al Pacino off It takes you to heat Michael Corleone really was in it. Yeah, but he wasn't gay in that. Yeah He's an undercover cop undercover. Yeah, then he became gay. I don't think so. Yeah, he's into the guy He yeah, he did. He kissed you ever see him dance. Oh, yeah Oh the dancing al Pacino dancing in that movie is movie? What's gay, making out or dancing? Really fun, having a lot of like, love.

Enjoying moving your body? Dancing like this? No, it was this, it was hard. It was 1970s leather gay, which is a whole different gay. I could watch Bobby throw that fucking heat all day. What was the list of top 10 movies about gay romance? I bet you there's one up there. Well, there's Carol. Pull up a list of like top 10 movies with, uh, about gay romance. I bet you there's one. There's Carol.

There's a lot of lesbian women. You know, all of the gay movies, dude. It's Carol. I've never heard of Carol. I saw Carol in the theater. What is Carol? What's Carol? Is that my mom's friend that's a Lesbo?

Yeah, it's two Lesbos. I think it was Cate Blanchett. That doesn't count. No, it's fucking gay. Gay. Gay and LGBT. By the way, they added a letter. What's the Keanu with? That's, that was a good one. That's Bill and Ted. No, I can gay gay gay and LGBT by the way, they added a letter Keanu with that's I that was that's Bill and Ted

Bogus journey, you know what? Is that's Chris D'Alia doing a commercial? What was that movie? I'm top patrol back up That movie. Yeah that was that called again fine-line features. What was that called? That movie, yeah, what was that called again? Fine Line Features. What was that called? Happiest Season or Bros? No, what was it called? Or Reese?

Gay Speed. What is that movie? It's like, if my cock goes under 55 miles an hour, I'll blow a load in your butt. Oh wow, your dick is so nice. Arizona, good butt out there. Is that it, something, no? We'll go through the list and it'll be on the list.

That movie was, that movie was good actually. That looks like a young dance odor. Oh, Portrait of a Lady on Fire. That was a good one. Women don't count, dude. It's not good. That's hot and cool. All right. Gay guys.

You didn't like Carol. Who is that? Think about Harry. Guys, you're going real fast. Bound ruled. I'm going to go down to going real fast bound ruled ruled Gina Gershwin like that he just yelled at you like that he really know anyone he really did he just straight what's the world coming to he parked you down he man apparently bro what's the world coming to a man River Phoenix and Keanu

real slow my own private what my private Idaho I had a pimp oh shit no you did That was a good move. River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves. What is it called? My Own Private What? My Own Private Idaho. Ida Pimp. Oh shit, no you didn't. I like it. I'm glad that's there. And I don't care. One of my favorite jokes ever.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Told you. Great film. Brokeback 10. That's fucking horse shit. Horse shit. But it's the top five are his favorite movies. Feel My Cock in Your Ass. Yes, wow, right there's an erection For us, shit. I bet it's the top five are his favorite movies. Do you feel my cock in your ass?

Yes, wow, right there's an erection. You lost it. You're making me uncomfortable. You want me to stick you through these jeans? There, he's back. Well, I got a boner that can cut through denim. I can't have a homo villain. It's okay.

Fuck my butt, fuck my butt, Joker. Fuck me like you never fucked me before. Well, here's the thing. I'm half hard. You ever put a half hard dick into a butt? Love Simon, that one's new. I didn't watch that one. Yeah, but that's kids.

You can't watch. Yeah, kids. I think he kills himself. Oh! Let's see, number eight. Whoa, Maurice. Oh, I know what's gonna be on there. That's it! That's see. Number eight. Whoa. More. Oh, I know what's going to be on that. That's where he got it. That's the Timothy Chalamet bullshit. Oh yeah. Love me. Love me by my name

or call me by your name. Yeah. Strange about the lake. Woo. Joeson baby. Darkest film on this list. It's probably even darker than the favorite because there are some slayings oh yeah and he's hot dude that movie fucking he's what hot mark and i watched it on our patreon put your phone away what are you doing it's dawn remember old bobby oh my god freak the fuck out if you had your food there was a bucket for the phone i didn't yell at you he would shame you for a month and look at your your phone. I gotta show me, he'd transplant. He yelled at me when they called. I tell you what, I tell you what, it's Dawn and something's going on.

Stop trying to out-alf of me right now. Dawn and something's going on. What's going on? I can't talk about it. Are you okay? Yeah, everything's all right. I had to make sure she's all right. Okay, oh no.

Yeah. She was kidnapped. The crying game. Shoot, that's not a bad thing. If she was kidnapped, I mean. Now the crying game, that was a reveal. Yeah. The reveal in the crying game, that was a reveal. Yeah. The reveal in the crying game was like not the trailer.

I forget, was that hog uncircumcised or circumcised? Don't remember. Damn. But it was big. I think it was uncircumcised. It was a good-sized wiener. When you see it, you go, whoa, really? The crying game.

It makes me so uncomfortable. That's Deadpool Wolverine. Hey, bub. God's own kind. I got my fourth blade sticking out right now. Oh, there it is. Which would be very offensive. If it was a man and a woman,

it would have been the most controversial movie of all time. It's like a 23-year-old guy fucking a kid, but nobody cared, because they're gay. What's going on there? Weekend. Everybody's gay. That's what they call? Damn. Weekend. Everybody's gay. That's what they call us asshole now, but weekend. Carol.

Here you go. Thanks. Carol. That was a good one, you guys. Oh, I fucking hated Moonlight. They don't listen. They don't listen. Well, we're reading a list.

This is why I don't like TV thing on. You bring a list to Joey, he freaks out. It's in his name. That's it, huh? Yeah, name sake. Moonlight sucks. That movie was so fucking overrated. Me and Bob are on fucking with each other today the other side of the rolling and reading the bank if you put up a

thing scroll it but i really don't think this is just also fast we stop we've read we've moved the next one there's a roof involved with every fucking movie dickhead it's not just reading a list of other podcast and number one there are probably the best list and the word great group of apples and the other one there by next list. 10, ordered grapefruits, apples, nine, strawberry, eight bananas. No, one was Moonlight. Kiwi, seven, six. Blood oranges, five. Let us riff.

What was number one? Moonlight. That was the one that won best picture over La La Land. Remember the big controversial big? That should be a gay movie, La La Land. La La Land's amazing. I love it. Shut up. I love it. Why why do you love about it? Because at the end his girlfriends all like whiny about the audition they say they sing and it's great and he goes yours He said you're crying like a baby and it's fucking so great. I love it. You love musicals. You love gay films I do love musicals. I love musicals. Yeah fucking Lewis loves musicals and magic

And working out and posing in a mirror. I mean photo. I'm not gonna lie. He does have the gay trifecta That's a great question that terrible question wait, what's your favorite color? I win Everyone's favorite color. Alright, go. Ready? Purple. I like pink, yellow, blue, red, orange, indigo, and violet. Everyone asks the questions you'd ask in the first grade. What's your favorite movie?

What's your favorite food? Name a duck that starts with the same, animal that starts with the same letter as your name. Wow, you fucked that one. Yeah. I give a shit. Flat, tire, but you get the bomb dana anyway. It's alright. It's alright.

It's not real, dude. You can't even fucking talk on this thing. You mispronounce it. Oh, oh, fucking dana bomb dana, it's all right. It's not real dude fucking talk buddy. You mispronounce That's you guys that's you Know that's a great question. Who's the gayest out of us based off of facts? I mean this just did hit you with four reasons why you're pretty gay question, who's the gayest out of us based off of facts? I mean, this just did hit you with four reasons why you're pretty gay. I think, I think at one point it could have been me. If, all right, so here's the first question. I would say 2013.

The gayest thing you've done, first of all, you have to say the gayest thing you've ever done. Bobby's actually sucked a penis. I've never sucked a dick. First dick. Oh yeah. I mean, I, no, can you let things go? I took a, I had to take a, the gayest thing I ever did is I had to take a dance class.

I think I see a dick. I took a dick in the butt. Gayest thing I ever did, dick in the butt. But I took a dance class. Dick in the butt, hey! And that was pretty gay. What kind of dance though? It was like ballroom dancing.

Yeah, that's cool. It was gay. The ballroom is on your asshole there it is what about you what's the gayest thing you've ever done besides stuff with Jay making out with Jay I think it's probably the you've made out with a man which is gayer than sucking a dick I am oh what and you put you have to suck a dick you pretended to suck a dick you kiss Jay and he turned everyone's your time to suck Justin no I didn't know you had your Justin no I didn't know I didn't yes you did no I didn't you and you can't make up shit when you're on record

no it's not a record I know the story I was there tell the story gay no me right now you're in the lead out in front. It's Lewis Coming up the rear Joe loves musicals coming up the rear Coming up the rear Doing it I'm not fucking I didn't do that a joke. He's not a joker. I don't see you I don't think you're really stealing it. Why are you getting so angry? Because I feel like it. Let's do it as a joker. Cause I feel like it makes me giggle every time. Uh, no, me and J me and Justin went on the road with Jay. Jay, when he gets to a hotel room, has to take a 30 minute long shit to like, it's spelled all the food from his body. So while, while he goes to the bathroom, we're like, dude, let's get naked. Somebody

comes out of the bathroom. It'll be funny, we're just naked here. I'm listening. Right? So far, so straight. It's a hilarious bit. It's a hilarious bit. So Justin is like, let's just, we should be hard though. That's gay. Now we're gay.

Now we're gay. Now let me tell you, no, hold on. I was like, no, and then he started beating his dick to make himself hard. And I'm like, Justin. And then you got hard. No. You watched him and you went.

I did watch him, but I was like, I'm not gonna jerk off. He jerked off in the bed. How long did you watch him, Justin, then you got hard. No, I watched him and you went, I did watch him and I was like, I'm not going to jerk off. He jerked off in the bed. How long did you watch him for before you said anything? Here's a problem. Jay, we didn't realize it this time that Jay took 30 minute long shifts. We thought James was going to be in the bathroom for a minute and then come out. That's where we're sitting there waiting for him to come out for a while. He's trying to make like maintenance for like way too long. Just hold on. I'm losing it. Let me get it back.

I said finally after like 30 minutes Jay comes out and he literally doesn't even look at us just walks outside He walked but purposely like doesn't like acknowledge us and just leaves the So it's Justin sitting there hard and then the door of the hotel semi hard the whole time But he kept on like maintenance tugging to try to get him to keep it up. When he goes, wow, that backfired just kind of sound like the joker. He goes, wow, we're here, Batman. That's pretty gay. Yeah, that's very good. That's gay. And then throw on top of that musicals after two minutes of doing that, I'd be like, this isn't working. Musicals. You always want to pose. You want me to work out with you. You're always like, I'm going to get you jacked up. Louis, go ahead. Yeah. If it's to be funny, it's not gay. If you're

sucking a dick for the payoff of a steak, you're just a gay hooker or you're hungry. You were a child gay hooker. Well, he needs a little hungry iron either way you had meat in your mouth. Joe was the the gay thing you've ever done I mean if that's gay, I mean I walked out in the hotel with soda that a half chubby But I it's so I'm so straight. I couldn't get it hard. So it was just a semi, but I wasn't jerking it. That's funny If it's being funny, it's not gay it was you any funny first anything to be funny He was dressed as a clown So I'm out. Hello funniest thing ever

Oh, I got a hilarious story remind me of a hilarious story you're gonna actually think this is hilarious I have another story. Did you not learn from my nose? This one you're gonna like You didn't know I fucking liked it. It's changed the whole course of the show. You got bitched out of it, I thought it was great. But this is the gayest joke thing I ever did was at my cousin's bachelor party,

we ended up at my Uncle Dale's house, who's only a few years older than me, you know Dale. Shout out Uncle Dale. Huge cock, firefighter. How do you know he has a huge cock? I've seen it. He's a firefighter. Yeah.

It's also his uncle. Wait a minute. You blow your uncle. He's a firefighter. Yeah You blow your uncle Suck your uncle's dick. Yeah, thanksgiving fire. He's my uncle and he's a firefighter. That's how Thanksgiving man brings the turkey We ordered a bunch of pizzas like 15 pizzas cuz it was like 30 guys So when the pizza got there me and Tom Dustin shout out Tom Dustin wonderful comedian made a movie about him Some of your theater so later tomorrow. Oh almost sold out. But anyways, I'll come tomorrow to Massachusetts in Somerville It's great. We'll save you a seat, but So we both got totally naked while the pizza came we got on that's what he what he was getting fucked in. We got totally nude and we each went to one side of the living room. So when the pizza guy was there, I went Tom, he went Joe, he goes, I didn't know you were here.

And I was like, I didn't know you were here, buddy. Where you been? And so it looked like there was so many naked men at the house that we didn't even know. And Dale had just moved there and he's like a public, he worked for the town. So he had to move, but that's a funny bit. The pizza gets like a 16 year old kid. Nobody laughed. He said it was no punch line. He was laughing and said, that's a good bit. It's 16 year old kid. It's against the law. That's where he was 26. It's pedophilia. He goes, Mr. I don't think I'm supposed to see this. I came here at my Huffy. I'm doing this for school. I just wanted to get money to get a basketball.

How many gay naked men are here? I know you're going to love this story. Is it another one or other? Yes. Hold on. Was that the first one? That was the one I didn't say you guys are going to love. Okay, this is the one you're going to love.

My brother in Christ, if you've learned anything from this episode, it is to not start your sentence. No, no, no, no. Just be like, hey dude, I got a story. And don't do the thing. Call this episode Precursor. Don't do this bullshit where you purposefully fucking sniff me,

because you of all people is gonna love this. You're gonna do an open mouth pound rock. He's telling you how he's gonna laugh. Damn dude, that is calling your shot. That is. That's like magic, by the way. I don't wanna be gay, but you know you're being a trick-or-treating magician.

Don't try to un-gay magic. Wait, stop trying to un-gay magic. Stop trying to un-gay magic. Magic is that's like magic by the way. I don't want to be gay, but like, you know, you're trying to gay magic. So manly dude, if you really think about it, it's like magic. It's like actually pretty evil and not gay. This story is too good. Too good. Dark magic is not. Yeah! Woo! Pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, go, pah, pure nicotine, always tobacco free, which I love. Lucy's just your every other big ass company. It's a mom and pop company. You got to support. That's what they're showing up. These little patches in their cabin on a mountain and they just saw it. They put in the little, the little nicotine into the pouches and I'd like to think Lucy's an actual grandma. What do you want? I'm still smoking. I'm not a pussy. I don't have cans.

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We don't want that. They killed your grandma and your grandpa, and then they pivoted to these. I know, they made Joe Campbell, and he's pretty cool. Dude, that guy, penis face? I slept in a Joe Campbell shirt from when I was six to 10 years old, and I'm pretty sure it's the reason I smoked.

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Okay, let's stop the podcast so you can text me. Crazy. And you can just fucking sit out the bit, wait, wait. Hold on, let me text my order to him. Okay, let's stop the podcast so you can text your order. Dan, you can just fucking sit out the bit, bud. Okay. What a fuck, Dan. Wow, Dan really threatened us with his talent. Dan, you know that Dan feels like, let's see how you guys do without me. I think we'll be okay.

I genuinely hate myself. I don't think you guys know that I we love you I'm always coming here to make sure that you guys love me love you I gotta shit so bad I have to shit who can I shit first should it battle shits I should through you but whole at the same time dude but hope but hold the but whole just fucking shit into each other we could do a swirl. Okay. Could you shit into somebody else's asses? If somebody should... What the fuck was that? Could you shit into someone's sister's ass?

Into someone else's sister's ass? Alright. This is a great story. Lewis is going to be buckled over laughing. I hope it's okay that I'm telling this. He already said Lewis is going to have an open mouth hitting the bucket. Derek Drescher you know I love Derek love that s digital on the gate podcast recommend at the cellar he should be at the cellar he's very funny

good host you should be too I'll recommend both you know I he's not working me Derek Dresher hilarious guy my buddy he opens for me a bit the one time he was open for me at fat black and Louie CK came by did a spot so Derek brought him on stage she did a show but the book so derrick is getting his haircut in the neighborhood and the stock of the barb and the barbers like a eastern european guy or whatever it goes a lot what do you do for a little bit of money on your views and there goes well the drug counselor today but i do comedy at night

because they have a new lewis ck that guys like my favorite comic ever you meet him and that you know you know i'm in there exactly i don't really know but i did bring him on stage one time. I was hosting a show, I got to bring him on. And at that moment, in that moment, Louis CK walks in the door. At that moment, walks in, the guy goes, hey, Louis! And Derek goes, hey, Louis, good to see you again.

Louis stops, turns around, leaves the fucking bar. How fucking fucking is that? He You got him, you're right. How fucking funny is that? That's so funny. He goes, hey, hey, good to see you. I think Louis is like, I don't know who this guy is. He says he knows me, but I'm not going to sit here and get my hair cut while this guy thinks he knows me

is sitting next to me. And he just fucking left the building. That's such a hilarious thing. Right after dark, he'd be like, I know him a little bit. I just would rather not. I'd rather keep my hair longer. So funny. Didn't say a word, turns around and leaves.

That's so fucking funny. Louis might be James's favorite comedian now. We've been watching Louis CK, specials with James. He loves him. He loves Gaffigan. He graduated to watching Dirty? Yeah, he's watching Dirty now. When did you show him first?

Send him my shit. He's watching shit, he loves your shit. What Louis, he likes your shit. Okay. We watched last night, which it was listed as his best one live from Beacon, which is not. He loves your shit. What, Louie, he likes your shit. Okay. We... Ha ha ha ha! We watched last night, which it was listed as his best one, Live from Beacon, which is not... No way!

No, Chewed Up for me is his best one. Chewed Up's the best one. What is it, some other one? Skimming, because I don't know. Shameless. The one... Shameless is his first hour at the Henry Ford Theater, but then...

We did watch that. Chewed Up. Half Hours of it. Hilarious is great. Live at the Comedy Store. Oh my God. Oh my God. Maybe it's Oh My God. It's been yours last. 2018 is fucking unbelievable. No god. Oh my god. Maybe it's oh my god.

It's 2018. It's fucking unbelievable. No, look. 2017. 2017. No, look on my... 2017. Amazon Prime.

Let's all get on our phones at different times throughout the show. I was just sending a coffee order, bro. I was trying to keep a family together. I'm trying to break mine up. I'm just trying to. I do have a babysitter right now. I should look. What do you do?

Do you have a hot babysitter, Joe? Come on. Do you guys ever get hot babysitters? I mean, it's a guy. I'm just trying to save my My babysitter fucking hollow you know my bit at the barbecue. Yeah, she was hot Spanish bitch I don't remember she came out she came in sweatpants hair up went inside. Oh my god came out Oh my god is the one we're watching now. Oh Yeah, oh my god one's fucking incredible. Oh my oh my my God's good. Live at the comedy store is really good. The Beacon Wine's really dirty. 2017. Get 2017 on there. That was... Louis is probably the best comedian. Yes. He's the best living comedian. Yes. 100%. Yeah. Um, I don't remember your hot babysitter. Yeah, smokey. Louis walked over. What'd you say to me? He walked over while I was cooking the hamburgers. He goes, tell your babysitter I'll give her $6,000 to watch James.

That's so funny. She was hot, dude. I don't remember her. She's smoking hot. I banged a babysitter once. No. Your own babysitter? You banged my babysitter.

Oh, I know who your babysitter is now. Wait, did I bang your babysitter? Yeah. Oh, shit. Fian? I can't believe that you have Gio Perez babysitting your child. I love Gio, too.

Gio rules. Wait, you banged James Perez babysitting your child. I love Gio too. Gio rules. Wait, you banged James' babysitter? Yeah, one time. Before she was your babysitter? No, no, she was a babysitter and then fucking... Did it get like flirty when you were like, came home and to be like... Let's just say.

Let's say everything. I raped her. Oh my God, no, that's not cool. No, we just, we babysat James a few times and then I banged her. Is she a friend of a friend or was she from a thing? But just, I just want to know this. How did it lead to that? Were you guys like flirting?

Yeah, we were flirty. I put him down early, he goes, oh, you put me down early and she goes like, hey, look at this. No, the implication I think is kind of hot on both sides, right? Like the babysitter, for her it's kind of hot and for me it's hot and fuck it.

How old is she? She's young. She's like in her 20s 13 14? She was learned. I don't know what what what grade is division? Why don't you grow up this kind of humor is just a little you know, I don't know guys I forgot Lewis worth a fun part of this was she white. We're in the fun. Yeah, okay. Never mind. Yeah white only banger once, maybe twice, baby. Sit out. Was it, was it after she babysat

for you or like she, I'm going to give you a ride home or no, no, no. She babysat for me. And then like she babysat a few times. She wasn't like the babysitter. She babysat a few times and then we ended up hooking up afterwards. So not while she was still your babysitter. No, not. She never watched last James after you banged her. She might've once. That's crazy, you come home and she goes,

so you're gonna call me mom now? And she goes, and I, so I cleaned out half of the closet for my stuff. That would be scary to leave her, if you banged a lady and then left her with him again, I wouldn't like that. Yeah, it'd be a little weird. You gotta bang her on the way out.

Babysitter porn was my favorite, I've had it for a long time. In the 90s it was. In the 90s it was the, it was the stepsister of the 90s. Oh, when they, when they, but I like when the guy came home with the wife, and she's like, give, give Saturday night off.

I was like, all right, and then they're driving home talking, and then they slow, and then they pull over. Then they pull over, and then she fuck, And then she blow job first. Sucked it, and then eat it, and then fuck it, and then drops her off, Then they pull over, and then she fucked. Flow job first. Sucked it, and then eat it, and then fuck it, and then drops her off, all right, we'll see you next Tuesday.

All right, mister, and she has to say mister, Mr. Kelly, or whatever his name was. You used to call him mister still, which is hot. Maybe I'll walk my babysitter home. Who's your babysitter? Ian Fiedence. Yeah. Yeah.

Like the assist on that? Pshh. Woo. I'm not a fan of the audience. Like the assist on that? Yeah, well that chick who worked at my house was smoking hot, didn't know she was hot until my barbecue when she came out dressed up and she was an 11 and then I was like, Oh my God, but then she left. She looked like the girl from Stranger Things. She buzzed head and controlled things with her mind. Help me! Her, ah, ah!

Her nose is bleeding. Ah! Turns out she was just doing some step down coke in the bathroom. She goes, we were like, do you have anybody else? And she said my mom, and I was like, ugh. What did she look like dressed up? She looked like, I don't know.

Yeah, she's like, Mr. J? Yes. Max is mad at me. Yes. No more soap up here. You didn't like my elephant impression? No. Well, it was a whatever that was.

They don't make that sound. It's more like. That's an ant. That's more of an ant or a cockroach. Those are gunshots. I don't know. Good elephant. Thank you.

That was Joe. But pretty good elephant. Bobby, you're also one third elephant. So should be on his father's side. You do a better stomp. Yeah. Yeah, there it is. And then added your that sounds like a handgun. That doesn't stop.

We've done this so many times. Joe, we know you're the sound of that guy. What's that? That's the Jetsons vehicle. Oh By the way, we want merch cuz I got a merch. Yeah, we're starting with merch brand new merch company big deal merch Make a big deal. I make a blue jay-o kerson t-shirts. I get all my joke. I get the money No, but I was it's memorable cuz I fucking laugh. You did love You guys find some merch

Plus we have families we got to keep together You guys don't have anything. I have a family now. You guys just broke up you said Once kidnapped That's so funny. Stop any kidnapping for the regs. He's like damn looking at my phone. My wife's got been abducted Fucking right back to who's gay or Heath Ledger fucking nobody's gonna kidnap a 50 year old a menopause I can't roll down the windows it's too cold thank you that's the end of part one who's the gayest so the gayest thing you've ever done and then also the gay the gay things that can be attributed to your personality you are the gayest I mean we keep goingest of gayest thing you've ever done.

Yes, I did. What was it? The ballroom dancing class. Oh, yeah. What'd you do? What do you got? You sucked a dick for a steak. I mean, I'm not gonna beat that.

I think he might be able to beat that, though. If it's not funny, it's gay, dude. You have the gayest act out of everybody. Sucking dick for steak is funny. I have the gayest act? Yeah, I don't mean your act like your comedy act. Bobby, we're not in the fucking cellar in the 90s All right, it's not always about fucking comedy buzzwords. I'm talking about what you

Hey, we're not in the cellar in the 90s, and you're not in the cellar now, but No, but that's just sounds like screeching breaks. This is an elephant. He does a better elephant than you. Pull up an elephant. He does a better elephant than you. Pull up an elephant. He does a better elephant man than everybody. I'm a man! I'm a man! I mean, dude, it must be fun having your own soundboard. Oh shit. I think that sounds like an elephant. It doesn't. Sounds like a stupid, like a gay bugle player.

I like it. Well, speaking of things again. And also anyways, Magic musicals, you've made out with a guy make it out with a guy put you right at the top. Why is magic? That's fun Do you please just play some commercials we're not even getting paid with McAfee protective services This is an all-timer Reven fun I'm thinking, ah, this team's sick. This is an all-timer. All-time episode. We're having fun. Absolutely.

Magic is gay because of the outfits, because of the showmanship. The movements. You never had outfits. Ah, I mean, I had a Coke. He wore eyeliner. He's wore an eyeliner. That is the gayest.

That's fucking crazy gay. It's guy liner. He did this. No, I had a girl do it. He went, hold on. I had a hot woman apply it to my face. I'll be right there. She had a burn it with a lighter. I had a literally a smoking hot chicken skank for supplying my mid shoes, literally smoking,

but she blowing it in your face. All right, here we go. Elephant noise. Here it comes. Tusk me. I got the best. That's Bobby. Are you out of your mind? You're out of your mind. That sounds like a balloon. Hold on. Okay. That's Bobby. Okay. Here comes mine. That's your mind. And then, and then now the elephant.

You got Andrew Schultz pulled up instead of the elephant. No fucking. The the fuck is that and now he's taking it. What a bunch of fucking home. I go back and love. She keep the elephant. I I see it. The timing was off. So once again, I need Bobby. Hold on Bobby go broken is missing out Joe. Wait, I'm laughing. Hold on. Yours is so bad. Yours is horrible. Yours sounds like somebody's trying to tune a fucking trumpet. This is Joe's.

Wait, I've lost it because you fucking jettisoned. You sound like a retarded kid crying. You fucking assholes made me lose it. Hold on. You're going to turn me, I'm going to fucking start hunting for ivory. I'm gonna get you get the elephant ready pull it up Here comes me and then the elephant you won't even know the difference He's like practicing so he's giving a little bit better as we do it Joe's getting better, Bobby's getting worse. Bobby's getting winded. Bobby's like, dude, dude, give me a 20 minute break.

20 minute break. He's slowly, slowly doing more of what I do. No, mine sounded the same as the first time. This is all recorded. It is all recorded. You practiced and you got better. You're losing speed. Because mine is harder to do. Brother, you are unfurling. Mine is harder to do. Practice and you got better. You're losing speed You are unfair

No, I'm doing mine in my throat too. You're doing all lips Was in the lead early It's dude. It's never been close. You're gonna cry. What was that fucking it hasn't been close You guys are getting lighting because I like gay movies Bobby was Let me hear your elephant now, Dan. You know, he's stealing you. He's doing literally exactly what you're doing. You know, he did exactly what you guys are both doing this. You're going like this. Mine is so dead That's what his mouth says? BLEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ Lewis really went like this What's your what's your best animal sound that's a good question that's a that's a fucking question chicken I'm the best

Stop giving yourself compliments. I don't know dude. I think I might get you with Best animal I can I can chicken like a motherfucker. I think I could do an ape pretty well What's up, I can chicken like a motherfucker. I think I could do an ape pretty well. What's up, mother? I love chicken. Oh shit. What's your best animal? No, do yours. I might have a better one. Mine's ready if you're ready. If you guys want. Here's the chicken. You said cartoon. Do you want a real chicken or do you want to scare? I want a real chicken. I want a real chicken Where's the punchline where's the book? They've got if you scare them we're checking can we hear chicken, please? Let's hear a chicken and with a bug off It's pretty good turkey We did a turkey competition on Legion of Scanning and it was crazy. I know what we should do.

We should do a Chewbacca off. I don't do Chewbacca. No, that's not a real animal, you dickhead. What are you talking about? You fucking asshole. It's a fake animal dude. I want to play footsies. What are you doing?

Stop. We're talking real animals. We're talking real animals right now. I do a great ape. I have a Ken Griffey Jrr. Wookie card none of none of us none of us I do a pretty good angry cat that's pretty good that's it that's a horny cat that's a cat I do I Oh, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's pretty good.

It's in his body. Yeah. It's in his bloodline. He's just doing what is this. This is how his dad got stabbed. I do a good squirrel. Let me hear. Let it rip.

We don't even know what a squirrel sounds like. You will right now. No, get the fuck out of here. That's Justin Silver masturbating in a bed of... Bring up Squirrel! He's gonna come out. Bring up Squirrel! That's Squirrel, ready? Come here, dude.

That's not a good Squirrel. That's a solid... Bring up Squirrel! Dude, Rogan is missing out! So are we on his producer. Now all this would be ready. This is... I don't even know who's over there.

What's that, Danny? Dude... That's not a Squirrel. That's a bird. That's a bird. That is a bird. a squirrel. That's a bird. That's a bird. That is a bird. I will say that. I will say that's a bird. He's an asshole. All right. Park ranger. That's a squirrel doing an impression of a bird. Yeah. That's that squirrel does a sick bird. Soup, soup, soup, soup, soup, soup, soup, soup, soup, soup, soup, soup, soup, chicken soup, chicken soup, chicken soup. That was dog shit. Oh, I do a good dog.

None of you guys are good animals. That's not good. Come on, Joe. Dude, come on, Joe. You're saying rough. Yeah. You're saying the word rough. Woof, woof, woof.

Woof, woof, woof. Woof, woof, woof. Woof, woof, woof. This bit stinks. Oh, you're good. It stinks on ice. I got a good kitty. That's not even good.

If that cat came around my cat. That's good. I got a good kitty Oh, I got a hawk that's gonna blow your mind That wasn't good. Sorry I liked it. I get what you were going for, but it wasn't good. It sounded like a guy with a small mouth started to whistle. Oh, that was a mountain lion? Yeah. Ooh. Did you hear that one?

That was probably the best one of the day. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. That was actually a better mountain lion. Don't do that to me right now.

I'm sorry. I have to do that. Guns? Forget it. I got guns now, Pat. sorry. Guns. Forget it. I got guns now. Pat Bobby's stomach. One of the best jokes ever on the guy was when Jabba the Hutt goes me like coolness. That's funny. Can we do some plugs before we obviously switch gears because we gotta switch gears.

We've lost everybody, everyone's gone. Plug it up, plug it in, let Joe begin. Joe, go ahead baby boy. What are you plugging? That was great. You know what's up, baby. Have you done that? Alright folks, Kansas City next weekend, January 16th of the 18th comedy club of Kansas City the weekend After that Sunnyvale California, but good job. You got Kansas City on the week. They have a bye Sunnyvale January 23rd through the 25th. I haven't been in that club in a long time love Heather They just reopened so come out to that support them roosterathers. Then Houston, January 31st and February 1st.

Tomorrow night, there's very, very few tickets left. If you're in Boston, you want to go see Tom Dustin, Portrait of a Comedian, that's tomorrow night. I think there's under 50 tickets sold at the time of recording. I mean, under 50 tickets left. Speaking of Boston, April 19th, of course, the Wilbur Theater, Minneapolis, I'm coming back in April, and Tempe, March fucking, I don't know, six through eight, something like that. So come on out and that's it. Punch Up Live, I'm on Punch Up Live. We're all on there except for Lewis,

he's a real stick in the mud. I have my own mailing list. I don't use middlemen. Yeah, but this is ticket link and all that. Go to my website where you can get tickets to all my shows, lewisofskanks.com. Sign up for my mailing list. You get a bonus podcast just for signing up for my mailing list. The only way to get it is to go, lewisofskanks.com. Sign up for my mailing list. You get a bonus podcast just for signing up

for my mailing list. The only way to get it is to go to lewisofskanks.com, fill out the little prompt when it pops up, and you get the Lewis Journal podcast every Friday morning. All the news, I got a newsletter, all the news that's coming out about Cast Digital Skank Fest. We're announcing the venue this Friday.

Then I'm gonna be, I'm starting off my tour, my 2025 tour, the Bring 5 Friends Tour. This weekend, Columbus, Ohio, Columbus Comedy Addict on the two shows on Thursday. Early shows already almost sold out, come to the late show. Then Zanies Rosemont on the 10th and the 11th. I'm going to go to Canada the weekend after going to Nookway, Ontario, right outside of Kingston on the 16th. Then I got Montreal, I got Ottawa.

Ottawa's almost sold out too. Get tickets in advance. right outside of Kingston on the 16th. Then I got Montreal, I got Ottawa. Ottawa's almost sold out too. Get tickets in advance. If I sell it out early, I'm gonna add a second show. North Charleston, South Carolina, Naples, Florida. Winnipeg's coming up. I just added Salt Lake City, Utah for February. Lots of fun stuff happening.

Go to lewisofskanks.com, check out all my other podcasts. Story Wars, Lewis and Zach Show, the legendary Legion of Skanks. And go subscribe to our YouTube channel for The Reg. Go fucking do all that stuff. Share it with some friends, guys. The Reg is the number one fucking super show in the world. Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.

I will be at Rumors January 30th through February 1st. You already know this. We already talked about this. The Weekend After Cut. Why do they do that every week? No, on the weekend before you. I will be at Rum rumors in Winnipeg the 30th through February 1st and then Huntsville, Alabama I'm coming to the improv February 20th through the 22nd and then Of course February 28th. I'll be at the Balboa Theatre in San Diego March 1st gonna be at the United Theatre in Los Angeles and March 2nd

I will be at the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco dance order comm for tickets You can also find my tickets at punch-up live Listen to Soder subscribe to the reg subscribe to my youtube channel and I love you I go to punch up dot live slash Robert Kelly for all my dates and a bunch of my stand-up clips are up there uncensored. You don't have to worry about anything getting flagged or anything. PunchUp.live is the only uncensored platform for stand-up comedy right now which I love. I'm gonna be at Levittown actually January I'm at Kansas City the 24th and the 25th and And then I'm in Illinois, the 31st, and the 1st, Batavia.

And then I'm in Levittown in February on the 7th, 8th. And then I'm going to Naples on February 14th, Valentine's weekend with a very special guest that's gonna be with me. Louis CK? His wife. He had a bringer. I killed myself. Oh, it's gonna be with me. Louis CK his wife And then make sure you go to my new YouTube YouTube comm

Slash at Robert Kelly kill boxes up there a bunch of stand-up all stand-up stuff all my stand-up is on that YouTube channel Go there and subscribe and yeah go to this website and subscribe to. Make sure you're subscribing to this and sharing it with everybody. And when you come to the shows, make sure you let us know that you're a fan of the regs. Hell yeah. And also my special, July 12th. All the VIP tickets and floor seats, there's only seats in the back that are left, so sell it out early, guys.

July 12th in Tampa, Florida at SideSplitters with the great Robert Kelly directing, which I'm, like, literally, I've never had anybody that knows stand-up direct my special. And even just the first meeting we had was fucking just awesome. Yeah, it's great. I saw a bunch of the stuff, great.

It's gonna be killer. It's unbelievable. It's gonna be great, dude. You're the best. All right, let's get back to the show, fags. Wow. We're deciding who was. Well, I mean, we're deciding who was gay.

That's true, yeah. So it's, I think we should rank them. It's Louis 1, I was gay. That's true. Yeah, so I think we should rank them. It's Louis 1. I think everyone. That's insane. With a bully. If you suck a real dick for a pay. No.

As a boy? Bobby was abused. As a boy? Bobby was abused. He's an abuse victim. In his most formative years, he was turned into a home-house. It's not gay unless you pay taxes. But you blew me.

You blew me. What? He did. You blew me. I didn't really blow you. You sucked the gay out of his wooden penis. Jesus, it was plastic. Yeah, he's the victim of a crime, you fucking dirtbag.

You made out with a man and jerked off with another man and wore eyeliner recently. You have herpes. That's the most straight shit you can get. I just wanted, it was nothing to do with the conversation. I was just letting people know. It's alright to be there. You're the most progressive on the show.

Yeah, dude. That's not true. He won't watch Brokeback Mountain. Cause he'll come. Cause he's afraid he's gonna get too good. He'll start coming everywhere. He goes, James, you're gonna need to go downstairs. Dad's gonna watch a lot of research.

I think it's Joe next. Joe's pretty gay. I mean, all his movies are gay. Everything he likes is gay. He talks about gay stuff. Yeah, I'll be number two. I'll be your number two. You take it in two. Yeah. All right, so that makes me three. Yeah, Dan's at least Obviously soda is the least guy Soda is the most woke at the least gay. Isn't that funny? Yeah, how I woke how was you? Well, you're very woke, dude

What the fuck you do? You're a libtard. Yeah, dude fucking hate Dan loved the vaccine. He loved I love the vaccine. He loved the lock down. I went fucking give it to me. I fucking need it. Give me five of them. I just boosted again. Oh, I got boosted again. Oh, I got boosted when I went stone cold. Steve Austin called me and asked me if I got the Vax. It was the only time that I was like, I should lie because I had to get it for billions. And he's like, what's going on, man? And I was like, he's like, can you pick up your phone? And I was like, I got the vax. I like admitted it to him. I was like, I had to get the vax, dude.

They made me get the vax. And he was like, all right. I was like, don't hate me, please don't fucking hate me. You were friends with Stone Cold? No, I did that cartoon with him. And he used to fucking call me about when we sold it to Peacock. That's crazy.

Yeah, it was awesome. And then he stopped talking to me and Dan altogether. Why? He just disappeared. And then I talked to Triple H and I was like. What? Yeah, I got to talk to then he stopped talking to me and Dan altogether. Why? He just disappeared. And then I talked to Triple H and I was like. What? Yeah, I got to talk to Triple H and I was like, he was like, Steve's a weird guy.

And I was like, yeah, I haven't talked to him in like a year. He's like, he'll disappear on you. And I was like, oh, that made me feel better. Wow. Well, he is a fucking redneck, lives on a fucking exes. Dude, we'd call, me and Dan would call him, you wanna talk about feeling gay. We would call him and we'd be like, don't bring up the match with the Undertaker. And we'd say shit and then we'd call him, we'd Dan would call him, you wanna talk about feeling gay. We would call him and we'd be like,

don't bring up the match with The Undertaker. We'd say shit and then we'd call him, we'd be like, what are you doing? He's like, I was just learning how to shoot 100 yards down field with a sniper rifle. We're like, I just had chocolate milk in a thing. That's the gayest thing. The Undertaker's podcast kind of rules.

I haven't watched it, but I get clips on like Facebook. It's just all the stories that you wanna know about. Dude, one of the coolest moments as a wrestling fan was I'm friends with Bruce Prichard, who is brother love. Of course. And he came out to see my show at Cap City in Austin. This is like 2017. And he came out, it was right when the Undertaker retired,

like officially, like the first retirement. And he was like, yeah, come and get lunch during the day. We're gonna watch football and eat lunch. And I was like, cool, I'll meet up with you. I love you. I love sandwiches. But he, Bruce is the man. And he was like, come and get lunch with him.

And I showed up and it was him and The Undertaker. Ooh. And I got to have lunch with The Undertaker and they just told stories. That one point he goes, you remember New Year's Eve, 1991? And he goes, I sure do he goes razor was there and it took Everything in me to go. It's a remote. I'm talking about Scott Hall. There was that was the gayest I've ever felt Okay, Dan's number two. Yeah

Dan leapfrog. Yes. He's no hold on Five like this how tall is undertaker? The undertaker she's listed at seven foot, but he He was 6'10". Yeah, about 6'10". Didn't he become Undertaker though? No, The Undertaker. Always? No. You're flashing your eyes over at Soder to double check.

He was not always the Undertaker. You're not confident. No, he's mean Mark Kalis first. What do you have to eat? What do the Undertaker have to eat? Crow meat. He's like, do you have the body of a dead man? I went, oh my God, he's living the gimmick.

What will you have for dessert? Reese's Pieces. Reese's Pieces. Reese's Pieces. So cool. It took me till the very end for me to finally go. I'm really a big fan. Do you mind if I get a picture? And he was like, yeah, of course, brother.

Now how much taller was he than you? I'll show you. Ooh. All right. He was fucking big. What if he's wearing a dress? Thanksgiving, 1990, million dollar man's theme. He was the mystery guy.

Are you excited? Are you excited they're on Netflix now? It's gonna be awesome. Never. He was Parts Unknown or Death Valley? I thought it was Parts Unknown. It was Death Valley. But then it became Parts Unknown?

Under, Ultimate Warrior was Parts Unknown. Ooh. You know, Patrice wrote for them for a while. Yeah, twice. What? One of my favorite ONA episodes is where he talks about Stephanie McVean. The undertaker's like, what's up, my, ugh. He goes, he goes, bitches really do be ruining your life. Patrice goes, my man, that's exactly

it. You can't let the bitch have the trolley. Patrice O'Neil wrote for the WWI. Twice. And then it got fired by Stephanie McMahon twice. Are you serious? It's a great story where he tells, uh, cause he couldn't go on the road. Yeah. And then she was like, you have to go everywhere. He's like, I'm not going to go. You should look it up on YouTube. Patrice tells the story on open. It was great. He was a huge wrestling fan. He was on the plane with a call. He called this old DJ at his plane ride from hell. It was his idea. He goes flip your dick around, Rick. That'd be hilarious. He called Nick Carter. This guy used to work with at K rock who I knew I

was listening to open Anthony and Patrice was Patrice was there, and he goes, what's up with gay Don Morocco? And he called him that, and every time I saw Nick after that, I was like, you do look like gay Don Morocco. Undertake, yeah, I think he got fired because he just couldn't go on the road, right? Yeah, yeah, he had weekends. They want you there all the time.

Yeah, they own like all of Stanford. Yeah, their new building is fucking crazy when you drive through there. Right next to the Sackville building. We would drive by, just driving through Connecticut, I mean, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like,

they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like,

they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, is the worst vessel many of all time eleven was after ten kistan was one of the great but i was a ten ten saying eleven was after that that's true yeah as we get a fact check on that the public that the people i was a little bit sure i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i I'm dunked on you Dan, holy shit. Damn dude, I am the gay.

11 comes after 10. I changed my posture after that. Still trying to find this photo. Yeah. Let's go to faces. Yeah, just, catch your faces. I'm just saying he was billed as like 6'10", wasn't he? Is he? He was billed as seven feet tall.

All right, well they. Andre the Giant was billed at what? 7'4". 7'4". But by the time he died, he was like 6'10". Yeah, they shrink. Because they get old. Well, he also has bones really crushing. Andre!

Andre! He doesn't look that much bigger than me, right? Let me see. But it's the angle. Yeah, there we go. That's what I mean. He doesn't look that much bigger. That's bad ass, dude.

Did I ever meet The Undertaker? No, I met a lot of wrestlers. Did The Rock tell you his shirt? You said his shirt didn't come out? No, I met a lot of wrestlers. Did The Rock tell you his shirt? You said his shirt didn't come out. No, I went to go meet The Rock at the Palisade Center Mall where Liberty Live is. And it was like The Rock was doing an appearance at like a sporting good store or something like that, Models maybe. And they had the line and they only could have a certain amount of people. And I was dressed as The Rock. So I'm like a fat senior in high school.

I'm wearing like a shitty shirt. It's like open. I got glasses on. I'm like doing this to everyone in line. Yeah, you are the guys. I thought I had it for a little bit. I had security guys. Did they chose? They, they were like, all right, where are we going to cut this line off? And I know for a fact, they were like, Oh, we're going to cut it off on the fucking adult dress as the rock. And then they're like, ah, right here, everyone else is not getting in. And then everyone just so waited online because we're like no we'll get in somehow yeah and we just waited till the rock came out and he walked past me I was like rock I wore my $500 shirt for this he's like that ain't no $500 shirt my god it's

not and then he got into his fucking limo seriously yeah yeah that's hilarious it was great I met snooker that's great he killed a chick from yeah Jimmy Jimmy's he killed a person yeah yeah I met him chick from the church. Jimmy, Jimmy. He killed the person. Yeah. Yeah, I met him. I just said that two seconds ago. Oh, I didn't hear it. He was at a flea market in Revere. And he was just at a table with nobody,

signing headshots. When you walk by. And he had Polaroids. And for $5 you get a signed headshot. And for 10 bucks you got a Polaroid with him. And I got the whole deal. And then I was so excited, because it's Snooker. I saw him fight at the Boston Garden.

Stop calling him Snooker. That's his name. Just call him Jimmy Superfly Snooker. I don't, it's Snooker. And nobody really calls him Snooker. Great body. Everybody calls him Snooker. And he goes.

We should stop saying it quickly, because it's getting dangerous. This Snooker over here. So he goes like this. What up, Snooker? He goes, who do you want me to make it to, brother? And I go, make it out to Bobby from Snooka. And he goes, okay, great.

And he writes the B, he goes, how do you spell Bobby? No. And I was like, oh, BBY. I had to whisper it, because I didn't want other people to hear that he was fucking more. Yeah, I met Captain Lou Albano when I was a little kid at like a bar in Havish,

where I was doing a personal appearance. That's sick. Yeah, it was just Captain Lou Albano when I was a little kid at like a bar in Havish where I was doing a personal appearance. That's sick. Yeah, it was just Captain Lou. He was just like falling off completely. Yeah, Snoke, what'd he kill? A lady. A girl? Murdered her. In a hotel.

Yes. Well, all the wrestlers used to... Marty Gennetti said he killed the lady on Facebook. Yeah, Marty Gennetti just admitted it for no reason. Yeah, but then he's, that guy's got a tough life. Back in the day, they used to all go to the Boston Garden and then go to the bar across the street. Really?

Yeah, my uncles used to go to the matches and then go to that bar and they would just be all hanging out there getting fucking hammered. And Kowloon was a big hunt too. Yeah, Kowloon was that big. They would go up to the Kowloons, just hang out, get fucking plastered, do coke. That's nuts. Fuck around. not around 70s wrestlers were nuts because they were like they couldn't let you in on the gimmick You couldn't know that it wasn't real. So if you walk in they're like, I'll fight you That switch when other k-fob switch the internet no, it was uh It was iron chic and hacksaw Jim Duggan got caught smoking weed in a car together

and they were in a huge feud. And they said that was like the first thing where they were like. Well I think the internet ended. That was just like a. Well they stopped pretending. As soon as the internet became a thing, they were like, we can't keep this up.

So now it's like the behind the scenes is a different like lore, you know what I'm saying, than the actual like watching. So like guys like us now, we watch Dark Side of the Ring or the interviews on the podcast and they tell you sort of exactly what happened there. It's really cool. Like the Undertaker said that the first tombstone that he ever gave was to Coco Beware. Yeah. And he fucked it up. It's his debut and he fucking gives Coco Beware a tombstone and

he fucking nearly broke his neck. Coco Beware tried to fist fight him like backstage. He was just kept on getting in his face, which is hilarious. Coco Beware was's not somebody that I'd be afraid of. Tiny fat black dude with blonde hair. He's got a parrot on his shoulder. He goes, hold on, let me put Frankie away. Oh! This is a parrot. He goes, Frankie pissed off. Now, hold on, now hold on Undertaker. Well they're like real, there's like guys. I love your parrot sucked. There was like guys that were tough that no one knew like Haku everyone says is the toughest He's like the toughest guy ever. Yeah, who's the guy in AEW is really tough the Samoan guy Go I said next one on a plane you did I sat next to the big show on a plane

That's it. I was in the window first class. He was in the aisle and I'm such an idiot I was like, hey man, if you want the window seat, you can have it. He goes I can't he goes I can't So funny because he would have to are Dude, if I said I said the big show on a plane, I would just passive aggressively tut the whole time. But Fuckin huge asshole Hey, I keep doing the thing with my elbow. Can I get a little room? He goes, it's not me, it's God. He looks so uncomfortable. Yeah, dude, they're tiny.

He was just like this the whole time. Andre Dock on HBO, they just talked about the whole, his whole life was just being uncomfortable. That's why he was an alcoholic. And then he hurt his back, and they were doing Princess Bride, and they had to like lower him down, they had to like hold him up on a horse,

because a horse couldn't hold him. Like when he came back to wrestle Hogan, like he was sort of done wrestling right? Yeah already right. Yeah, he was yeah move Hogan I had to like I saw him at the Cow Palace and like 91 or whatever and he had those arm Crutches and it was fucking you saw me like dude Recipient six was kind of his last real man And all he does if you watch it just like leans on the rope Yeah, it comes by and like fucking slaps and he just drank like a motherfucker. That's the best story the beer the regular-sized. Yeah, I'm holding it

He drank a case of wine on set. I heard his breath was the worst Oh, I bet his teeth like a hippo his teeth were all little chicklets the best story about him I think we've talked about it. He let out he was on the set of Princess Bride. It's like a let out a set No, 17 second fart. Straight 17 seconds and Rob Reiner goes, you okay Andre? And he goes, I am now boss. But 17 seconds is so,

the longest fart you've ever heard ever is four seconds. Hogan told a story about they were in Japan and Andre couldn't use like the toilet because you have to like bend down too far. You don't have toilets, you have just holes in the glass. So he just shit on a newspaper and then called Hogan was like our balls And he walked in and there's this Newspaper with a fucking giant human shit. That would be crazy or she feared did that for no reason. It's can't

You know what story I fucking hate though. That's a wrestling story that Hulk Hogan every time he tells it was in the new Vince McMahon Doc, he's like when we went to WrestleMania 3 I didn't even know if I was gonna win or if he was gonna let Like talking about he's a notorious liar. Yeah, he said that Metallica wanted him to play bass in their band Dude he lies like a fourth grader Hogan literally lies like he's like Like this isn't true at all, is it Terry? Yeah. No brother. So, cause when I got into wrestling,

like I didn't really like, when you're a kid, when I'm like seven years old, like it was like Ric Flair, when he came back to the WWE, we were like, okay, get this fucking old man out here. Like I want my saggy tits. Yeah. Do you want like the ultimate warrior? Dude, you look awesome.

Like we get a doom. We're fucking like just these get a doom like this is badass never was in shape I know that was always that was all 70s wrestling 70s wrestling they were just like us with our church I mean dusty was the just a fat ass yeah it's fat but now they're all just no snooker was not. Please stop saying Snooka. He's bumming me out. Snooka was fucking... I'm gonna be mad if you don't say it ten more times. If comics had to be jacked and we were always checking each other's bodies out, because they're insecure too, so we'd just be like this. You'd be like, looking good, Bobby. Even Piper wasn't that shredded. Piper was in pretty good shape. He was in shape, but he wasn't shredded. Piper was a legit tough guy. The first shredded guy was...

Rappishing Rick Rood? No. Oh, Tony Atlas. I thought it was... No, there was some pretty jacked ones. Bruno Sammartino was jacked. No, Bruno was not jacked. Tony Atlas was...

Bruno wasn't jacked. Bring up Tony Atlas in this show. Old Bruno Sammartino, yes I was. Bruno, he was like... Versus Teddy Atlas? He was the original Superman Jack. Or the Rock's father was jacked. That's Tony Atlas. No, Teddy Atlas is...

Who's Rock's father? Rocky... Rocky Johnson. Rocky Johnson. He was Jack. He was Jack. They were both Jack. There was plenty of Jack wrestlers back in the day. No, but it wasn't... In like the 40s they weren't Jack. It wasn't the norm. It wasn't the norm. They were all fucking beer drinking... Well, they had to be tough. Big guys. They had to actually be tough. That was like a part of it in the beginning. Like if someone beat you up and you were the champion at a bar and you got into a bar, because they would go to bars. If you got into a bar fight.

Well, the Rock had little bitch tits for a long time. They got the surgery. He got the surgery. He got tits surgery? Yeah. If you watch him originally, he's got the fucking... Yeah, he's not built. Yeah, Bruno Sanmartino is not a fucking cat.

My fucking uncle. He's a beast. He looks huge. He's fucking a monster. He's a big guy, but he looks like he owns a deli in Brooklyn. He's not shredded. He's not shredded. He's's a big guy, but he owns a deli in Brooklyn shredded Routinos looks like he's going like this. Sorry, but Ripped to me he's got no abs sure Teddy Atlas now show my man Teddy Atlas Show my man who now gets stomped on by women you can watch it. Who was the in the 80s against?

my man who now gets stomped on by women. You can watch it on. Who was the in the eighties against, uh, Hulk Hogan, Schrodinger. No, no, no. We're after him. You're thinking of Paul Orndorff. Mr. Wonderful. Paul Orndorff was pretty, uh, he was before. He was before. And then also a macho man. Randy Savage was Jack. He wasn't that ripped up. Stop it. You're in your mind, dude. Pull up Randy Savage. Pull up Rick Rude. He's the most ripped guy ever in the history of the thing. Homo. Homo Rude. By the way, this was all a trap. We got you. Rick rude, he's the most ripped guy in the history of the thing

The way the way the one I jerk off to the most is Rick rude I said it My favorite show Teddy Atlas how fucking what are we gonna do? The most retarded gimmick is hacksaw Jim Jim Duggan His whole thing is the thumbs up. Well, you know got you know, you know, I got like why is it thumbs up? It's the American thing got taken from him. He was supposed to be the patriotic guy Hogan and then Hogan was like now I'll just take that Take some more to retort Bring up Teddy I don't care about that. Take some wood, you retard. Oh! Thumbs up and ho! Did you show Teddy Atlas? Bring up Teddy Atlas. Who is it?

I can find him in two fucking seconds. He's not coming up. So when I... That's Tony Atlas. That's Tony. Teddy Atlas. You're saying Teddy Atlas. I was saying Tony.

Yeah, I meant Tony. My bad. There he is. So, I remember when... That was my bad. When I was younger, I always wanted to be... He's jacked. He's jacked. When I was younger, I always... to be, he's jacked. When I was younger, I was, whatever it was,

I didn't want to like what everyone else liked. Like every time. You're a contrarian. I am, I am a contrarian. It's called ODD, I think there's something. I think Snuka was a contrarian too. Love Snuka. Listen Snuka.

So no, but I am a contrarian. Whatever it is, like everyone like Metallica, I was like, no, I don't like Metallica, I like Megadeth. Everyone like Guns N' Roses is like, fuck Guns N' Roses. I'm a Skid Row fan. Wild move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going Skid Row over Guns N' Roses?

But I was just, whatever it was, I didn't want to like what everyone liked. So when I was into wrestling, Skid Row rules. You're still like that with Funny Bits, you know? So I remember I was like, you know what, I'm gonna like, I just decided, I was like, I remember I was like, you know what? I'm going to like, I just decided I was like, I'm going to like to Tonka dude. He's talking about, by the way, went on a great undefeated run. He was going to be my guy, right? Tonka. I went to North Carolina. I went to go see a house show. Actually had real Indian blood in him.

And ultimate warrior was mad because he took his thing. Do you ever hear that interview? No. I'll do it. Warrior went up to Tonanka was like, dude, you're doing my shit. Like he had the tassels on his boots and he did the fucking like, I'm getting power from the. He came in and he was speaking to the moon. He came in and did by the way, he would do a little more March. No. Ultimate warrior go, ah, the ultimate warrior is nothing like Tatanka. Oh, they're similar. They're similar. They both did like, I know, but in ring,

go watch it. Dude a tonka was spirit We want a great YouTube channel So it's a tonka. I don't worry with spirit warrior, too He did the fucking like the little rich Warrior is kind of an American Indian that's how they open their drunk That is my brother brother bo gets too drunk the ultimate warrior we're very worried about him down on the reservation married into the family

he's my sister, that's my sister's husband crying, he's but you can tell, he likes the whiskey I never gave up this is the Tonka now, this one is older and they both do the exact same jogging, high knee, same with theging high knee. Is he a real Indian?

No, yes American okay. So anyway, I was like sock is my guy and I went to a house show out though Tata ruled and I bought a little to Tata like the home bopper dead the phone and I took my mom's Lipstick and I drew on my face Little to Tata fucking your lines. I was so in I was like this my guy and then the next day at Survivor Series It's not a lot. He turned and fucking million-dollar man. Yep, Teddy B. Oz. He took him and I remember I threw my to Tonka t-shirt in the garbage I was so sad. I was so like far to talk or you're not my guy But you learn one day of being a to talk up and you learned your lesson

I think you know what that lesson is that everybody's got a price Man rule dude, yeah, you know, he's based on he's based on Vince McMahon. He had a slave. Yeah DB Aussie and he used to shove a hundred dollar bill now beat someone he was not built No, but he could by the way, I saw him with Sam Roberts. I saw him at a fucking high school indie show Yeah, like in a high school gym 2017 and million dollar man was still being able to do move. Have you ever been to the Mexican wrestling? Yeah, Luchador shit fucking great It's unbelievable really funny. I've been Chipotle a bunch. There is he's based on Vince McMahon. We've got cheap shitty suit I know we can tear it off like a stripper. They have the same guys

Look at that cheap shitty suit. I know. Well, you can tear it off like a stripper. Did they have the same guys in the Mexican wrestling all over or is it just different areas? Well, if you own your own gimmick. Because they have like a stinky Sanchez where he put a chocolate bar in his ass at the beginning of the match

and at the end his finishing move was he'd pull his pants down and smush it in the guy's face. That's very funny. And it looked like he had all shit in his face. That's very funny. It's pretty good. That's real? Yeah.

Yeah, Luchadores. Did Snuka ever do that? No, Snuka was off the top rope. Well, you know about this. He did a Superfly Jimmy Snuka. Funny prank that I would do to my mom, or I did it to my mom once and she almost killed me. Did I fucking?

I love that you say it, like it's a general thing you do. It's this great prank that. Dude, I put my finger in my mouth and I l it licked it right and then my mom was like sense I'm I was like whatever I pretended to put it in the back of my pants and I just rubbed it on the side of her face Slimey wet she was like oh, she's literally pulled her back. She was gonna cock me in the fucking mouth Let's go get it spit which is also kind of gross now the candy bar. Was it a snooker's bar? I know

When I did uh, oh you better hope that's not I did a Jimmy superfly snooker off my dresser Did you and I killed the girl I caught I? Caught a nail in my side of my leg Ah was sticking out of the wall and it just dug in my leg and ripped my leg open nails was my favorite wrestler He's great nails was pretty good nails nails the shit out of He just showed up and fucked up big boss man in an orange jumpsuit Yeah, like all right nails maybe change the outfit if you're an escape car thing was also dr. Isaac yank. Oh, yeah

Wasn't it sad and he was a pain pain wasn't it sad when, no, no, Kane was after Isaac Yanke. No, but he was fake Undertaker, I meant. Fake Undertaker. When they, when they bought, when UFC bought, when WWE bought everybody. WCW. And they brought, and then they brought the WCW guys and they just didn't pan out. Well, you know why? If you know all the big guys from WCW were under guaranteed contracts so they didn't show up.

This is when WWE, they're like, Rhino, Sun. No, but they were like Hogan, Alt,, all of them, they were already getting paid. They just got to stay at home. So WWF bought that company. No, when they bought Philly. Oh, ECW. ECW, when those ECW guys, because ECW by itself was fucking awesome.

But when they came to the WWE. If you're a wrestling fan, subscribe to the YouTube channel WWE Vault, because they started putting. I've been watching those, it's been fun. It's been awesome. They just put whole like pay-per-view I saw you see W twice live when really in its heyday. Yeah. Wow. In Philly. I went, I went Orange County fairgrounds once and then

where was the other one? Was it Orange County fairgrounds Southern California? But I saw a Sandman versus cactus Jack. That's sick. I saw, um, um, Marty, Chennette versus Jim, Jim, the anvil, night heart and everyone just started a Sean and Brett chant. People just hated them We're throwing garbage at the ring. Oh funny. It was so funny. They're locked up. They're like They talk to each other I think it's I keep asking Dan about stuff. He dances that if you compliment their bodies, they're nicer to you I think that's so funny if you walk up and go,

your arms look great. He goes, thanks brother, what'd you get for lunch? They're like, oh. The silliest gimmick ever was the goon. You ever see that guy? He wore hockey skates. I remember him. The silliest was Booger Bastion, or the retarded guy.

Then there was Max Moon. That was Tatanka. Was it? No, Google that, give it a goog. Who's the booger guy? Booger Bastion? Did he have boogers? Bastion Booger, Bastion Booger.

But the funniest one was Walter, who's the retarded guy, where you'd like touch him. That's not Tatanka. What is that? You're retarded. You're just second man. I'm wrong because of his hair. No, it was Max Moon, he would shoot things out of his arm.

Yeah. Did the WWE had like a really cartoony era? Early 90s. When I, when I was, that's when I got into it. It was like right after like Hogan versus Macho Man, like they went into this like sort of like cheese ball. They were trying to get kids and they got the bright colors. We gave him the clunk, the clown. Doink clown was actually awesome. And then it became Matt born and ECW born again. And he was like, have half the doink makeup and he was just a badass dude.

He was a lunatic, he was fucking, yeah. That's a great dark side of the ring. Well they're bringing back the spit now. We know the Japanese fighter, what's his name? Oh, you're thinking about Shinsuke Nakamura, but Asuka has been doing that. That spit, they quit that for a long time. That's the great muda.

They spit in your face. They chew on something. The blinding, but Mr. Fuji used to do the salt. Fuji was the best. He'd do the salt, you're like, ow! Fuji was the best. Well, do you like some salt? Ow, how about a little salt with your eye?

It's not salt, it's MSG. Yeah, you want more, 15 minutes later. It is powdered soy sauce. Yeah, they're going to Netflix tonight. Tonight is the first Netflix, raw and apparently, it's gonna get a lot more adult. Cause I, with the whole tribal chief stuff, I faded out of it.

But the last two years of it, they got me back in. Bob, what'd you do? Did you punch a wall? Did you punch a wall, Bobby? No. Bobby, did you punch a wall? Be honest. That's a punch wall.

What did Don do? Why is Don calling over and over again? Who did you hit? Max, that's too high. By the end of the podcast, we were going like, what actually is going on? Max has a cast on his arm. He broke his pinky in school playing basketball.

And we were fucking around wrestling. And I went to hit his, you know, just joke around his thing and he put his cast down and I just scraped my knuckles on his cast. How hard were you punching him? Really hard. We were fucking around. I was punching my my knuckles on his cast. How hard were you punching him? Really hard. We were fucking around, I was punching my kid. Also he starts the story by going,

Max had an accident at school, that's why he's in a cast. And you're like, how did Max break his arm? Playing basketball, somebody threw the ball down. Some snooker? A couple snookers really got the best of him. You like it now. Yeah, snapped is just the same as... Snapped open his knees.

But he got cast, that's awesome. He only got cast for three weeks. Oh, it kind of sucks. I wish I could get cast in a movie. You did. You got cut. That's what I'll be. I'm Bobby Thanger.

Cut. That's double. Bam. Gonna come over here? Bam. All right, let's take a quick moment and thanks for the small batch cigar. Calm down, Joe. Why are you so angry about one of our, maybe the best sponsors in the world, smallbatchcigar.com,

which is exactly what you think it is, Joe. I quit smoking. Because they never sent me one. They give you cigars in small batches. I wouldn't know. Large batches. Every batch, every batch size you possibly want, except for Joe Lizzie gets no batch. I'll give you a patch on your back.

If they're listening in right now to this ad read, you get Joe's cigars. I'll be on my phone. You are screwing this up. Look, I think right now. Maybe they sent you your old address. Probably. What an incredible company.

Oh, you know what? I do have a package there. That's probably your cigar. Dude, if it's those cigars. I hope you go there and run, and I was just puffing away in the backyard. Sorry, kid. Things have changed around here. Look, kid, things have changed around.

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it's boutique cigar companies which I love because guys are out there and they're blending these cigars, getting the tobacco from Nicaragua, Connecticut and making these brand new flavors and these guys have these cigars. The boutique cigars surprise you all the time. But the best part of all is they send you the most thorough packaging in the industry. So it's super tight packaging, they give you a Boveda pack with every single order. So when your cigars show up, even if they get lost in the mail, which happens during the holiday season,

let me tell you something, they're showing up fresh. They're showing up. Maybe that's what happened, Joe. Yeah, it wasn't the holiday season. It was June when we started the show. Oh, there's a holiday in June. It's Memorial Day. Maybe we were supposed to give them some of ours.

You think so? Maybe, cause I got a lot. It's had two Lewis and Joe on my package. Oh, my. Oh, it's okay. Every order is delivered in nearly two to three days if you're in the continental United States. Oh my. No, it's okay. Every order is delivered in nearly two to three days if you're in the continental United States.

I'm telling you, the Bavita Package is going to make a really, really big difference. When you go to the website, check out their entire line of products. The best part of all of this is we give you a pretty amazing discount. Smallbatchdogar.com is the website. When you use the promo code REGS with a Z, REGS10, R-E-G-Z10, you're going to get 10% off plus 5% rewards points as well. I mean, what is there not to love about them? They're fucking friends of the show.

We love them like family. I love them. Send them to you really fast. Yeah. And they just keep sending them and sending them. They're really for cool people. That's I think the thing that it sticks to. Anybody who gets them, they're pretty goddamn cool.

Did you get any? Nope. Hey, Doug. Maybe it's opposite day. Yeah Small badge to card.com is a website use that promo code regs 10 for that discount plus 5% rewards points. All right, where were we? This was our best episode till we went full WWF. It's okay. Some people like it I'm mentally retarded one of the guys on if we are I will get the undertaker on I would say let's bring the Undertaker on. Why does Joe want to test? Because the numbers are the same on every episode.

He doesn't like us. And I honestly understand that I cratered the episode when you guys brought up the WWF. Can I say? No, you didn't. I thought it was great. Can I say? Can I say?

Mm-hmm. Why don't we get rid of Joe? Hey, I could use a couple free weeks in my life. Listen, we get rid of Ron and Joe's movie horse shit. I've been Bobby and fucking Versey. Fuck the fucks and the soda show. Get rid of it all together. That's an easy. I'll get rid of the Lewis and Zach show. We just do this one once or twice a week. We call it a fucking day. We make some money. Yeah, but we bring in a guest because that's how you want to bring a guest. That's how you get the number. We got to be more off. Joe's like in a relationship

where he keeps recommending a threesome and then you go like really? And he goes, no, I'm just kidding. But like, you know, it'd be kind of sexy. It'd be kind of sexy. Joe, you've read a threesome. No, but sort of. There's two other guys. No, I, I had two comics, won't name names, said after, after the, on the air, off the air, whatever I'm getting but you shouldn't ask me. I don't know. I can't answer. When was I had to tell us when early, middle eight, probably. Oh, Hey, Joe's having a meltdown right now. I know exactly who it is.

It was Oh nine. And I was doing a rogue gig with two comics. I was accidentally given a suite and I wasn't headlining obviously and so the headliner you banged you fucked Amy. No, no. So I mean it was Amy in her stomach. We all went out and I had a girlfriend at the time so I was trying to be a good boy. So I went out with these nice couple that was like going to hang out and I was like I was a guy and a gal yeah, but that's nothing to do with the police. So I went out and then these other two comics, they went out with the chick. They were both single at the time. And then when I came back

to my room after a nice night, I was drinking, but I was a good boy. I came back and I couldn't key into my room because the padlock was locked. And these comics, they brought back a girl, but they wanted to go to the suite so they could have a threesome. So they got the fucking door guy to be like, that's my room. I forgot my key and he was like well You got to show me ID and he's like I don't have ID But it's my room, but I have ID up in the room So when he got to the room he showed them my CD and the guy was like you're a comedian That's great. They kind of distract through the distraction play they got into my room

So when I got back to my room, they were doubling up on this chick They had just finished and then she was team to check. I did not know this double team to check sick. And then they were like, she was like, well, hey, since you're here, I'd like to fuck the whole show. So she blew me after the threesome and they were still kind of lingering around the headliner blue. By the way, that's not, that's not you having a threesome at all. That's what I said. That's how you got herpes. That's what I said. You microwaved the leftovers. I said I haven't had a threesome. I got blown by a chick that had just fucked two of my buddies in my room. Was she a comic or she the chick they found?

She was a comic fan. She was a chick they found in the bushes. So the two comics didn't want anything to do with you? No, no, I was out. I was out with some other people. Oh. So that's the closest thing to a threesome was a not threesome at all. Well then I had, that's why I said no and then Pres. told the story. But I did have another one where a woman blew everyone in the house, but all individually.

None of this is a threesome. That lady, this is all. I know, I'm telling you. That one's a gang rape. I'm saying no, but you know. Have you had a threesome, Dan? Yes. Sick.

Nice. It was pretty great. Sick. The lady pulled my belt off, one of the ladies pulled my belt off and I went, okay All right Hell, yeah, it's pretty great. I was very drunk. Yeah. Now is a threesome two girls. Yeah, you can do the devil's threesome What's it got? I've done both three guys You're the gayest.

Tara Snuka. You're saying it now, just your reaction out of Lewis. Bobby, you've had threesomes before. Yeah, of course. I've done plenty. You lived in them. Plenty. Plenty.

That was all he did. Yeah, good and plenty. He goes, Mr. Goodbar, I ain't good and plenty. No, this is a threesome. Threesomes with you and a friend is way more funner than you and two girls. You and two girls, it's, you gotta really give it. Walk first walk, walk me back to funner.

You're 70. More funner. Because you can, you know, you can look at each other and be happy. No, there's nothing that's not as fun as a threesome with two girls. Threesome with two girls rules. It's amazing.

A threesome with two guys. There's no joking around. No dude, I remember I had a threesome with two girls. Threesome with two girls rules. It's amazing. A threesome with two guys. There's no joking around. No, dude. I remember at a threesome with Dave Smith and we were double teaming this chick and he pulled out and came on her and then it shot a load, it shot onto my bed and I was so mad.

I couldn't concentrate because I was looking at his cum stains on my belt. He's going like, oh, that's fucking, dude, dude. You know how funny Dave thought that was? Dude was like, post nut. He's like, I stains on my belt. He's going like, oh, that's fucking good. Dude. You know how funny Dave thought that was? Dude, dude was like, post nut. He's like, I came on your sheet. Where did you think his gum was going to go? You think a threesome with two guys and a girl is better?

I said it. No, I didn't say better. I said funner. Funner. I'm sorry, you said a word that's not real. Funner. It's funner. Because you can do bits.

Yeah, you can do bits. You can look at each other and be like, oh, god. You can bounce bits. Yeah. Has anyone ever done this? I was just thinking about this. You can do bits. Yeah, you can do bits. You can look at each other and be like, oh God. You can bounce bits. Yeah. Hey, has anyone ever done this? He goes, I was just thinking about this. You got a shopping cart with one bad wheel.

You're like looking down and you go, you ever go to the airport and see the guys with the signs? I was getting, I was banging it behind. My friend was getting head and I was so into it. I was just, you know that. And I looked up and he was just like this. And I was going, and I had to make my moan, my laughs into a moan,

cause I didn't want to fuck her up and be like, what are you guys doing? That's the problem is like, I can't moan in front of one of my boys. Oh, one time a girl, sorry guys, you guys had to hear my moaning. I was talking to one chick one time and then I like, I guess I moaned.

It was just, a guy moaning is hilarious, but she mocked me. I was like, oh, she went, oh. Yeah, I've had, I had a bit about it on my HBO special. I was talking dirty to a girl one time. You had an HBO special? Yeah, back when HBO used to count. And I was talking dirty to her and she goes,

oh boy, we got a talker. And I went, the rest of the time I fucked her like this. Sometimes girls will tell you to talk dirty and you're like, how far am I supposed to go? I'm about to say some real disrespectful shit to you. Do you like snookers? Tell me how much you like snookers. I slap my own ass.

And the reason why my friend, we were having sex with this girl and she was blowing him and I was behind and I was slapping her ass and I got so into it, I just slapped my own ass. And everything went silent and she just turned around and she went, did you just slap your own ass? And I was like, yeah. I like that.

I think that's fun, makes it up. Yeah. That was my favorite joke of all time, Gary Shindling. Every time my wife and I have sex, she always yells the same thing, not in the ass. And I said, listen, honey honey it's my thumb and my ass Gary Shindling thumbs his own ass during sex. Alright we gotta wrap it up. Now we're good. I gotta leave I got a babysitter. What are you doing? We started 22 minutes late as always.

What do you got a babysitter? Karen Fianci lives in your building. I know she lives. Karen's your babysitter? She lives next door. Yeah. Her name is Karen. Yeah Karen. You said Karen. Karen. Not without your cocky's you're not. Fucking snooker. But I have to get home at least a half hour before Sarah gets home. No we started late we always start late. Then whoever the person is that's like hey I gotta go it looks like the asshole but in reality it's the fucking assholes over here we We started 22 minutes late. I'm trying to figure out the cameras. Subscribe to our YouTube channel, please.

And it's gonna take another eight minutes to wrap up. Sorry about the WWE talk. Something we did. What are you sorry about? Buddy, stop. We're the leaders. They follow us where we go. Buddy, stop that. It is my gayest thing. It was awesome. And it puts me at number two on the list. I don't know. I think wrestling is a good issue.

What was your professional wrestling name when you were a kid? Then we'll go. Because everyone had their own wrestling names. I had two. I think I was the Avalanche. The Puppet Master. The Slave Master. He's got the whip! Oh my God! Oh my God!

He's going to buy him! He's going to buy him for the field! Oh here comes the abolitionist! Oh my God, he's gonna buy him. He's gonna buy him for the field. Oh, here comes the abolitionist. Oh my God, oh my God, my God. He put him in the house. He's not bred to be in the house. This is your working knowledge of slavery was very thorough as a child.

What was your professional wrestling name when you were a kid? Bobbo the Poople Man Snooka. Bobby goes. I didn't have a professional. You don't like wrestling like that? I loved it but I didn't have that name. My finishing move was the avalanche

where I would have him on my shoulders, I'd have like my wrestling buddy and then what I'd do is I'd run and jump and fall back on him. We used to do the figure four but that hurt. Shout out to my friend's little brother Cody who I really hurt his knee twice putting him in a sharpshooter in a figure four Yeah, I put him in the sharpshooter and I leaned back and we both heard a noise that wasn't natural

And then he started crying and I ran I left the house That is what you how you handle maybe paralyzing a child Never went back. Oh, yeah, I mean now he could kick the shit out of me. But I put him in the sharpshooter and I was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, and I like leaned it back. And he was like, ah, and he goes, ah, and I fucking got rid of the legs and did it. I remember like my friend John Hickey's parents. Essentially it was like, you can't hang out with him

anymore because I would just take his little brothers and just power bomb them. But some of them liked it. Like Cody, my friend's brother, would be like Jack Hammer. Goldberg was real big at the time. And so I'd lift him up like Goldberg in front of a bed and then drop him on the bed or whatever. I wasn't like power bombing him.

Earlier in life, Mr. Destiny. Great. That's a great name. Also a movie with a baseball player. The way you looked, we were gonna be like. Whoa. Wow. Wow. Like Bobby and Jargon.

Wow. And in my mind I was dressed like the blue blazer kind of. I had a mask, I had a cape. Fall from the sun. Wish it ended that way. Yeah, it is. And then when I was older, and this is before Kane. Before Kane.

All right, so you didn't steal it. Bishop Kane. That's a good name. Bishop Kane, Rain and Pain.'t steal it. Bishop Kane. That's a good name. Bishop Kane, Rain and Pain, RIP, Rain and Pain. That's a black guy's name. Why Bishop? Because there was that movie with the Tupac movie. We had Juice?

Or no, he got Above the Rim? No, no, no, whatever. There was a character named Bishop in the movie, that was cool. You should do wrestling at Skankfest. We have that. They did, I did, yeah. When they were broke when it was off.

I actually rehearsed a match. Oh, I saw that, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it was fucking great. You did it after your first one. I, when they were Brooklyn, it was all I rehearsed a match. Yeah. Yeah. I was fucking great. I got put through a door. It was after your first MMA match kind of thing in Brooklyn. You had a real wrestler, right? Yeah. He fucking dude. He fucked me up. He clothesline me and nearly took my tongue off. Like I bit my fucking wall as he was just, he was a kind of a cunt and he was like, oh, you want to come in and just do what I do. It's like, it's not real. Fuck face. We're promoting you. It's putting you over.

Yeah, it's fucking. Learn the business. He fucking hit me with a real clothesline to teach me a lesson. And it fucking, like I nearly bit my tongue off. So it was bad. You thought you were a lesson? No.

Yeah. Sounds like you bit your tongue off. I don't get where he's. He clotheslined me extra hard, dude. Yeah. I'm sure if you wanted to stand up, you'd be so welcoming. Wow. I would.

Damn. I kind of like that they were ending this on a little bit of a feud between Joe and Lewis, like kind of building up the next episode. This is good. Just how you sell tickets. Maybe you get a professional wrestler at this Skank Fest. New Orleans.

Talk about it. Oh, yeah. Shout out to you. For exactly one minute. I should say January 29th, presale. I forgot to promote this. Yeah. 1 PM Eastern, first time we're ever going to New Orleans

No luck. Good deal. I mean already people that are confirmed. We didn't invite any of the reg yet But you guys might get an invite. Oh, but oh baby. I'll be there stay Stay off the streets in the sidewalks. I don't don't walk barefoot through New Orleans No, it's gonna be great to we're really pumped. The venue is fucking incredible You're gonna get all gated. Oh my god. What? My neighbor who announced it to a Friday But is it like in a nice no is you know it down in the French quarter where that gators and I'll buy you And everything we're gonna have a cafe do more

I'm gonna go get me a pump andet. New Orleans is a cool town. Let's go do a, you know what we should do? We should bring one of the producers to record us with microphones, we should have handheld mics. We should do a walking ghost tour of New Orleans. The regs do a walking ghost tour of New Orleans. Because I've done that before and it's very fun and they take you to a room where like shit moves and stuff.

It'd be fun. Dan's a real sucker. Anyway, skankfest.com. Of course, I'm a mark. And you like fun. Let me promote this. Skankfest.com. Go to, yeah, buy it on January 29th, 1 p.m. Eastern.

Pre-sale. Ha ha ha! Woo! Ha ha ha! Dance order! Dropping bombs. The original joke. Doesn't beat the fart.

That's a thousand year old joke right there. This caveman. Pre-s thousand year old joke right there. That's caveman. Pre-sale. Pre-sale. Who, who, ah, ah, who did that? Pre-sale, January 29th, baby. Caveman, one thousand years ago.

We don't want you guys there, forget it. New Orleans, baby. New Orleans, I can't make it this year. We'll see you down there, baby. All right. Yeah, let's go. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.