Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - 1985 Elvis

Episode Date: May 7, 2018

YKWD is joined by Keeping Joe's Sam Morril and Joe Machi! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network. Riotcast.com. Oh yeah. Oh, fade that down. Here we go. Another episode of You Know What Dude. I don't know. Fade that down. Here we go. Another episode of You Know What Dead.

I think it's episode 6,000 straight without taking a break. It's always free on YouTube and riotcast.com, the greatest network in the world. I'll fight people who don't believe that. Not to them, I'll fight two people, and then I'll probably, and then I'm out. But yeah, greatest network ever, ricast.com, this podcast is always free. You can get it free.

But if you wanna be a member of my channel, you can join that too, if you're a fan. If you're actually signed up for the Lipson paid version of the please unsign go there go to the app. Get off it. Goodbye premium peep members. Stop. Go over to my patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. You get so much more. I have a live from the shed going up today with a Siphah sound. I did in San Francisco. Very interesting one-on-one. We have the brand new Live From the Shade with Matt Sarah, the other one with with Colin Quinn is up there. Ron Bennington's coming up with filming new episodes next Monday with special guests. So please go up there. You can

become a member of patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. We have so much shit up there, you can become a member of patreon.com.setsu. Robert Kelly, we have so much shit up there. We have creeps of kids who's up there. We have the new creeps of kids who are shooting in August. That is August, I believe, 14th at the village of Johnnie Grand Tate. Ticket's going on sale very soon. And I already got a kill line up for that. So make sure you go there, check that out. Become a member of my channel at patreon.com,

such rubber Kelly. Also, we got a great show today. I'm very excited about these two people. I really just fucking, I'm a fan of one of them. No, I'm kidding. No, I'm a fan of both of them. It could be here, man. I'm very excited about having you guys here.

Are you guys, oh, I got to plug laughable.com? You guys know about laughable, right? Oh, yeah, it's great. Of course. Yeah, laughable.com, if you love podcasting, please go download the SAP for your iOS device. It will help you find so many new podcasts. Okay, go to my podcast, check it out, use it,

and then go and find all these people. Sam's gonna be on it. Whatever, isn't it? What's your name again? Ray Mac, Reggie. Reggie's gonna be on it. Reggie Maccabal. Joe Maccale.

Joe Maccale is, Joe Maggi, of course. It's a great app, so get it laughable.com, the only podcast app you should have on your phone. What else, Michael? We got Brooklyn Brooklyn and oh yeah Brooklyn and oh these guys I love these guys This is a great gift too for people if you have a girl and your life Sam Joe you have a girl you have you have a special girl right?

Well bet what size bed do you sleep in just a regular double bed? I don't know what the a double bed? Yeah, like a queen. Yeah, no like the size below queen a full a full you have a full bed with your girl well we don't live together oh you don't live together she's sleepover sometimes so once you get a nice queen why do you have a full what you stop being one and get wow oh I'm kidding, get out of the queen. I'm sorry. Why don't you get a nice queen, Joey? You're a jackass. Whoa. Whoa.

What the fuck? Wow, that was just, I just have a lot of rage public up. Sorry about that. Some good card jokes. People leave you out of the ass. This is no joke or if you've seen Sam's act. Well, we got a beautiful sponsor of the show, Brooklyn and Dotcom. You can use this.

This would be a great gift for your girl. What kind of proxies they offer? I'll tell you, Brooklyn and right now, offers unbelievable betting at affordable price. I have it on my bed. They sent me some. I actually went back. My wife went and bought more sheets,

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founded in 2014 by a husband and wife team. Those are always good. Yeah. It's kind of annoying though, because it's like, no, it's not annoying. Oh, I forgot. It's not annoying, but I think it's great. I think it's great. I think it's great.

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What percent is most beddings marked up? 50 percent. Nope. Higher. 80 percent. Higher. 300 300% that's exactly right. Wow. That's a fuck. How do you have a nerve?

Are you funny? Yeah. I am a nerd. I'm gonna be a comfortable nerd with my Brooklyn and Cheats. Brooklyn and Cheats name winner of the best online bet in category and housekeepers. God, versatile colors, patterns, you can mix and match contemporary any decor. What do you think about that?

Mixing matching colors. I, I got up my game. It's luxury bedding. Underpriced. You have to try these sheets today. I'm telling you, Brooklyn and Sheets are the best, most comfortable sheets I've ever slept on. And I'm saying that right near face.

I have them on my bed. I slept on them last night. I drooled on that pillow last night my wife She she put to the kid in the bed sometimes he'll wake up like I look put the kid to sleep on the couch We watch a movie he goes to sleep five minutes ten minutes in she picks him up brings him to bed She comes back out. We have some tea. We're just old people at this point have some tea and some type of small back out, we have some tea. We're just old people at this point. Have some tea and some type of small biscuit. I get a biscuit now and I love it.

And I ate the tea and I wet the biscuit in my mouth with the tea. It's awful. And then I sit there, once in a while, my kid will wake up and go to the pee-peas and he comes right out and just jumps. I love it. I love it.

Yeah. It's the best thing in the world. But she has to put them back to bed. She has to go back with them. She don't make it back to the bed with me. So I'm in this huge king bed by myself. And that's when you get the more biscuits. Well, that's when I get the Brooklyn and Sheets help me get back to sleep without my wife.

I get one of those comfortable pillows. I mush it up, roll it up, make a body out of it, and I hold it. Yeah. Like it's her, and I squeeze it up, rolled up, make a body out of it, and I hold it, like it's her, I squeeze it. And if they weren't good sheets like Brooklyn, and I wouldn't be able to do that. So you'd recommend them for a lonely person like Sam. Yeah, Sam, you'd be fed, you'd love these sheets.

I'm gonna look into it. And then when you finally hook up with a girl, she'll be impressed when she comes over on your twin. What do you got a twin? I got a queen. You got a quote, because you're a man. Do those last 10 years? Yeah. Brooklyn and Doc, I'm gonna go to the schools of offer twin. I got a queen. You got a quote because you're a man. Do those last 10 years.

Brooklyn and dot com ex at a exclusive offer for my listeners get 20 dollars off and free shipping when you use promo code what did what dude at Brooklyn and dot com Brooklyn is so confident that you like these sheets. It's risk free 16 night satisfaction guaranteed and lifetime warranty on all their sheets and confidence. The only way to get the $20 off and free shipping is to use promo code WatDude at Brooklyn and dot com. That's Brooklyn and dot com promo code WatDude WatDude when you check out get some sheets 20 bucks off. That's what I'm telling you right now. So anyways my I mean listen you guys are on the network yeah I think that ad is longer than our podcast

That's a pretty long ad is a long ad. Yeah, we keep in Joe man right cash fam over your fam. Well, it's gonna do so I guess Wow, you're really just step on the fun. I'm like San Antonio swag I think we're two guests that really need no introduction because we're so popular on ride cast not com. You really are. The show's a fucking I mean ahead. We've had some great guests of late two. Oh, the last the last episode, Mackie drank nearly a bottle of whiskey and uh look I accidentally drank almost a bottle whiskey by accidentally As well It was it was a fun episode Well, everybody you're the only show that drinks. Oh, we drink. Yeah, so you bust us when there's garbage You know, it's us. Yeah, you guys a fucking slosh. There's no way you remember if you did anything

Well Michael Chase was right was our guest and he hosted with he hosts weekend update Yeah, which means I had the person who who took my dream away from me Anything, be tired. Well, Michael Chey was our guest and he hosted, he hosted a week and update. Yeah. Which means I had the person who took my dream away for me as a guest on my podcast. Was that your dream? Yeah. I was a field, Michael Chey.

You should dream smaller. I dream like me. Well, I can't, I get so, I'm so comfortable in my Brooklyn channel. I just sleep for hours on end. My dream is to get a leaf blow that goes on your back that's gets operated Oh, I sure was kind of cool. You should get my dreams You can use that for Halloween as a ghost buster

I can just buy a fucking proton pack What is it the forties that don't make shed the proton packs are all fake Actually all of them affect even the ones the ghost was just Well anyway, Mackie can drink he was on empty stomach. He's a party. He's a party hard guy No one knows that about him, but he goes hard look you get me to disco tech you get that base bumpin How's it go the disco tech? How's that song go? I can move yeah, you can move. Yeah, you can move.

You're your lips. Joe Mackie and we have Sam Morrell from Keeping Joe on the ride cast network. Another whole thing is that Mackie, you know, you you like doing the podcast now though, right? I can't believe I'm too I'm not

busy enough to keep doing it to be honest. I'd feel in your schedule would not have much on it. So, we swooped you up. Ah, Sam, I have a lot of, I've every weekend this month, I'm on the road. How about you?

I was gone the last six weeks. And it's, are you bragging about standing the whole thing in? Do you guys have a like each other? No, I don't like him. I hate him. What the fuck? I don't even understand it because you guys fight all the time on your show. I hope Sam lives a very long life to see me become very successful.

He would have to be crazy long if you're going to have any success. You'll be very successful when you go into advertising after you quit. She's advertising the fruitful career, Joe. It really is. Yeah, the guy co people away from you than you're at. Oh. That's that was both the best. But it's kind of true. Those guy co people were pretty funny. That really hurt. That hurt me and I didn't have anything to do with it.

Was your dream really to be weekend update? When I saw Norma Donald doing it, I was like, I want that job. Right. Well, why don't you ever try to get it? You did not leave in it. Did you think they would kind of find you in a malt shop? Like a diner? Like Lauren was gonna come in and go,

Hey, what's your name, kid? You're just gonna be sad after an open mic. What's your name? My name's Joan Jo-Jo-Jo-Mackie. I was on NBC for a number of episodes of last comic standing. I was pretty popular. Like they, like I'm doing the stuff you should do to get that job.

Yeah, but Michael and Colin are great. I mean, I'm not complaining. I'm doing the stuff you should do to get that job. Yeah, but, Michael and Colin are great. I mean, I'm not complaining. I'm just saying the industry has treated me unfairly and that's why I'm not successful. It's like, make me. Mackie and I had a good, when we were on Red Eye back in the day, we would do Mackie versus Sam, we do the news.

And we were like, this could, we could do our own thing here, but we never did anything like that. Why? I don't know. I think it's because Sam is trying to provide my co-tails to success because his own, well, if I'm finding my co-tails to success because his own... Well if I'm finding your co-tails, we're both fucked, I mean. They're not big co-tails, they're not travel far.

Take it from a co-tail guy. Take it from one of the kings of co-tails. We just like, we hang out at the cell, we wait for a comic to start really having some heat, and we pretend to be their friends. I've been waiting for that for 20 years. It hasn't happened. That's why I haven't been calling you. You've never called me.

Wait a minute. You won't give me your phone number. I can't. I got it. Because I don't know if this is stick or not. I'm like, Bobby, when do you get me on the shed? Sorry, buddy. I just fucking, there's a wire around my foot, sorry buddy.

I just moved my camera, that's what they need. It's probably a better angle on my chin. That is the dream job that we can update for comics, I think, because you get to just tell jokes on TV. Yeah. And it's not your act. You just get to tell jokes that are not your act on TV every week.

Not your act, tell jokes every week, and you have a team of writers helping you just do that. One thing as opposed to having to write skits, become different people, act, read a fucking cue card, work with different stars all the time. Yeah, it is a stationary gig. It's probably the best gig a standup can have. A standup can have.

It's my favorite part of the show because at best, a good episode of Best Now has two sketches I really like. I'm not saying that's a be critical It's tough sounds critical and I Sounds very critical We didn't even need to know that part of it. We could use well you could have just went nuts my favorite I like seven minutes out of the hour and a half That was nice. I like two things out of the whole thing if I like seven minutes of an hour and a half a Sam's sad

That would be a that would be his best said ever Well that that really died on the table. I don't know why you stopped us. And that's called the bomb ending. I know what it is. Just tied around your neck. I won't fit. No, you got a muscular neck.

I have a muscular neck. Yes, what do you try and get at? That's what I'm trying to get at. Make sure to get my neck. You have a very Canadian. It reminds me of Thanksgiving. Oh my God. Trick me so small, Nex.

Why would you remind you Thanksgiving, you're not crying alone in the gutter. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Are you friends at all?

Is it? I'm not going to the worst people who've gotten Colin Richkey. And we're not as mean to each other as this. Friends, oh! I'm gonna fuck out the worst people in Northon, Colin, Rich, Key, and we're not as mean to each other as this. Oh, you guys are mean. Well, you did the boss here in the story. What do we do to Vos?

Oh, you and Keith followed Vos, this is the underground, that's one of the best stories. Well, here's, here, we were, there's a couple things I wanna talk about today. We'll talk about them, Michelle. We'll think what this thing happened. Vos came down, you know, Vos comes. He calls himself a legend, right which bugs me Yeah shirts that say I'm a let

With a but it's not it doesn't say legend. It has a photo a him I don't even get I don't even get him anymore. I just don't get him. I don't get it. So fucking. You're not allowed to have more than three rings as a man. He has four diamond rings. It's horrible on his hands.

Do you know what boss? Boss is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. We are on the impractical Joker's cruise and he, uh, this, some woman comes up to us after the show is like, she's just going through like, you know, she's a little annoying. She's like said to me, you were my favorite on the show to me and boss just go she really drunk Yes, but boss turns when he goes oh, yeah, well your two friends are prettier than you Jesus Christ man, but was it true? I Probably but also it's like it was pretty good

It was so it was true makes me laugh even more. I was thinking to Lares as Voss has those like stockpiles from over the years of people being like you were the worst on the show. Every time he gets a new tattoo or ring yes to go with a new ticket. So he was he came down as we saw he was following Nicky Glazer. Now Nicky Glazer is hilarious, but she's hilarious. And her, but I have to say because she has,

she's very, she's talking with Succ-in-Dick and her pussy and it's funny, really dirty, but she murders with it. I'm talking the crowd. And that crap, we knew the show was mostly... Well, she's sucking dick material gets nothing too, it's crazy. Well, I think that's something. I liked it.

He's got the flag of shame. Can you give it back to him? Yeah, I like it. He's stuttering prick. He's got the sa-ta-ta-ta-ta. Like a Dick Tracy villain. So, yeah, well, you've been he sealed Del Toro during the other quippy thing in a movie. It's Star Wars. Talk regular!

I mean, I wish. Don't get him said on Star Wars seriously. That's your insult to say that I'm a cast member of Star Wars. That's another one of my dreams. That's not gonna come true. You're less funny than Judge our binks. That's bad. That's how the fuck it insults. So it's so funnier than Judge our binks. The fact that you can win Judge our, right out of your fucking mouth you

can win a Judge our binks out. So we knew that she was going to murder. The crowd was mostly parties of girls too. Just you can see a bunch of girl tables and couples, young couples, not all, those are the late show. Me and Keith were coming over to watch you bomb. And he's like, blast, blast, blast, blast. And you guys started getting nervous. We're coming over, you're gonna bomb,

and we're gonna be there. We wanna watch you take a hot one after Nikki goes up, talks about sucka dick. She's gonna murder, and you're gonna fucking bomb. And we went over there, Nikki goes up. I mean, she just murders. She fucking murders. All the girls allow the guy.

Everybody's dying. The waitstaff is fucking dying. We see boss Paisen He left the room. He went upstairs and like I think he went and prayed Or he started doing push-ups something because he was not in the room. Oh, he came back down and he sat down He has a such a long-winded first joke, but when you get to it, it's funny, but if it doesn't work, he's fucked. So he's going in, he's sitting on the stool, this old fucking comic, after this hot blonde

just went up and murdered, and he does the joke, and as soon as he says it made Keith both went, aww, and every joke after that, he was a little edgy went awww, no. And then these fucking people just started awww, the whole crowd awww, anything he said awww, and he's like, you just watched the lady finger fuck us out of the door, you fucking aw me! And then we went awww, I have to get the speech. The whole crowd turned on him. It was the funniest.

It's like a social experiment. It was, it was, it's how shitty people, it's how weak-willed people are. That those just go with it. Look at man, if you, I mean look, when Nikki was talking about, and then with Vos's talking, it's two different levels of fucking, Vos was kind of, kind of dirty. Nikki was like fucking, ah, I don't give a shit. A lot of a guy went on my fucking period.

Get down there and fucking eat that bloody pussy out. Right? And boss was doing like little cute dirty stuff. Oh, the whole crowd one girl went what's happening? Oh, it was a funny. It made me me and Mike yard was on the ground literally Ever all of us were fucking dying just watching that old dude taking nice hot one after the youth of America Was he supposed to get off?

No because he pulled he cuz you know I pulled it out You died I fired for five and a row he did five jokes to got laughs, but got you, I fired for five and a row. He did five jokes to go laughs, but not really. And he was like five and a row. To himself. Nuh, nuh. He really is like a puppet holding a puppet. Do you know what I'm saying?

Nuh, he's got the hat. What'd you say? He's got the hat. Oh yeah, he does. He's got the dumb hat. And he's got the hat. What'd you say? He's got the hat. Oh yeah, he does. He's got the dumb hat. And he's got puppet hands. He really does. He has little trump hands.

He does. So yeah, we fucking smashed him. But then this cock-sucker calls me up the next day. He comes in first. I do a gig for him. He calls me up because how much you want? You want 150 or 200? I'm like, oh my god.

Who does that that who fucking makes somebody choose how much they want 200 fuck face why would you do that to me you're my friend wait for what for a gig we did oh he goes it usually pays 200 but we didn't sell a lot of tickets you want 150 or 200 fuck you shows up with the 200 he goes I'm giving you 200 I'm like thank you for job well done right Then I go home the next day and I my wife goes I'm going to the carnival with Max will be back I go here take all this I gave her the 220's I get a text message from Vos don't use that money What is it counterfeit 20 in there what? money. What? It's counterfeit 20 in there. What?

He put a counterfeit 20 in my money. He got a counterfeit and he stuck it in my money the next day. As a joke. I guess. That's a funny gag pulling the treasury department. That's a fun practical joke. And then he goes, I didn't know. I go, you didn't know you put it in the now. I went to 7-11 and I gave it to them and when I went back to 7-11, first of all, who goes to 7-11 and then goes back to 7-11

in the same fucking month. Okay. So then he goes, they gave it back to me and I put it in with you and I forgot. I go, you didn't do it intentionally. No, I would never do that. I go in the next day, I go Voss, I go Voss, put a 20 in bi-axon and ask, he goes, no, he didn't.

Keith is like, no, he told us he was going to do it. He's like, I'm like, what? I'm like, you're 60. Why do you still lie? Like, you know what I mean? You don't have to lie anymore. It's almost over. Nothing's going to happen to you.

It's also not really consistent with the joke you pulled on him. It's not a fair payback. Yeah, my wife's gonna get fucking arrested at a car. I'll get my son. That's why team throws her down. It is gonna have a big payoff. I'm the single service comes by. I would have been. Bobby gets detained, boss.

Oh my god, yeah. I would have been funny. That actually would've been hilarious. See Max crying? I have to rip him off some fucking small rollercoaster. So I know, he's a fucking boss man. God damn it. I've never had a good experience with him financially.

Never! I like that he tried to low-ball you and then ripped you off on top of it not just the low-ball i'm also gonna pay you fake money so we actually give you 180 he's the worst! he met you in the middle anyway he's the fucking worst well he came down the next night and he goes here's your 20 but then he waited for you

do you want the 20 or not? but then he waited for a thank you he's like and he's like, and I'm like, what? You fucking almost ruined my life. He was wrecked a Saturday you cock-sonner. I was, Sunday night, we did the, no, not Saturday night, was also, what do you have to pay? Yeah. All of the sudden.

Are you on your phone right now. Um, all of the sudden. Are you on your phone right now? No, I'm not. I just pulled a boss, I lied. I just, I was getting a lot of texts. I wanted to make sure everything was okay. What is everything okay? Everything's okay.

Who's it's from? I, I, I do, it's from my girlfriend. What's going on? Uh, I left my note, I joked notebook over there and she was telling me where she left it. Ooh. I left my note by joke notebook over there and she was telling me where she left it Oh Well you ask I answered I didn't so you were getting a bunch at one time. Yeah, that's that's fair I mean your budget by wearing the like yeah, I was like a one it was a brief second thing

I listened to his boring story about the counterfeiting I pretended to be in I'm defending him a little bit me this case, because he wasn't looking, he wasn't like, SD's texting me. Sam couldn't hold his urine. And he isn't a bathroom right now. No, but that's, that's a human thing.

That's a condition. But he was checking his phone. He wasn't even... Yeah, Sam has a small baby girl bladder. Yeah. Baby girl. Yeah, he can't hold it. You have a huge bladder.

I do have a big bladder. Yeah, you can drink and drink and drink and drink driver You all like a truck driver. I can go from Roger I just smoke you we got bandits on the back. I can go eight hours Bandit's on the pack. Did you have a back door? Not for a very long time Smoking the bandit I time smoking the van did you get you get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to the goddamn fucking the C-SPAN. What is it called? Correspondence. Correspondence, then. But what's the full acronym thing they do?

White House correspondent. Why the W fucking C-H-C-D. Y-K-W-D. They stole it. They stole it. They used to just be called the correspond. Then they stole the Y-C-W-C fucking D. Did you watch it?

I watched your run it here like three times. I mean, I didn't see a life. I didn't see a lot. I was, I was, uh, I'm not pregnant. I was a governor. I was in love with town. So it's a great, I love that club. I love it. It is a great club. I heard somebody got knocked out out there. That was, that was brokerage. Oh, somebody got knocked out. Yeah. Yeah. What happened? Do you know? Um, I don't know the story now. I would know who was there. Yamanika. Oh, Yamanika. Yeah. So somebody who's trying to leave? Probably. Okay. I love you. I'm an Ica. I love you. You just set me up for that. I don't know what

happened. I don't know. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I think someone was just drunk and walked into a wall or something and cut their head. It's what I, that's the short version of. I heard somebody, I heard the door guy, and got knocked the fuck out. Oh, that's stupid. It doesn't make sense to me because James the owner Nobody's knocking him out. No, nobody's knocking anything. It is family out. They're all they're like, you know You nobody's fucking with that. I mean who I couldn't imagine who it could be you know, yeah Something happened over here is that Startup is this almost full anyways. You're good with this everything right over there. Okay great

Yeah, she went on I watched it at the fat black pussy cat And it was it was pretty it was weird. I mean watching Michelle. I know Michelle and then the whole bar which was popping stopped and Turned around like You know in the like a president gets shot, or when we went to space, or when they cut a Osama, where just that something's on TV,

where everybody has to watch it. Oh, and Superman died. And when that happened, yeah, and everybody was just staring at the TV that Superman's dead. It was that vibe. Like people were watching the show, like we have to watch this.

Yeah. Cause we're gonna have to fucking have an answer about this after what happened and I man she's got fucking nuts. Yeah big fat It's funny that people are calling it so offensive. I didn't I someone I posted about on my on Facebook today and someone wrote like It's one thing to go after Trump, but to, but leave those girls alone. I was like, they're fucking adult women. They're, push you get into politics. That's, it's a dirty game. You're gonna get it. But that's, but that to me is like the same as when, like, when white people, like, white liberals are like, like, offended on behalf of like black people.

They're like, you can't say, it's like the same shit with their saying about Kelly and Conway or Sarah Sanders, with their like, like leave the girls alone they're either in it or they're not you know that they're the equal they're not right I mean and they she didn't even make fun of her appearance that's what shocked me I didn't think that's crazy that people yeah like people hear what they want to hear also maybe we're dissensitized because we're comics but like we are we are of course but like we watch the roasts and it's like, it's fucking insane. They say like at the Shatner roasts, they're like, just don't talk about him murdering his wife.

Apparently, here they're like, he said something better, eyeshadow. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's not really equal. She did a great abortion joke, though. Oh, right. That one, my washer run it. I was like, oh, that's, to me, that's the edges of the set.

Yeah, that was an edgy one when she said that. You gotta, when you have one, you, have you ever tried one? They're great. Certainly you do. Don't knock it to your tribe. Don't knock it to your tribe. Make sure you really knock it to get that baby out of there.

Right. That's when you're thinking about, that's an edgy one. That's not even, that's crazy edgy. That's edgy in a room full of comics. Right. If we were watching that, we'd be like, what the fuck? we'd still laugh.

But when you're talking about, I mean, that elite people, these, these, these. They can't laugh at themselves or anything. That's to me is like, that's a great point, Joker. It's like, no, seriously, it's like the people that can't like look at Trump, like look at how insecure he's just an insecure person.

Yeah, you know what I mean? And so these people that can't laugh in themselves, that's like the worst fucking quality. It really is. And it's like these stuck up well-dressed people that just take themselves so seriously, what's fucking lame or that? Can they not laugh at themselves?

Are they, is it that they can't do it on TV? Are they, do they have these things? I think they would have looked better if they did laugh. But you've worked in this corporate business, in the sports show, you know those people that are behind the scenes say a lot of funny fucked up shit that they would never say on camera, because they can't, because they're in corporate America.

These people, can they really laugh at that abortion joke? No, I'm saying that the jokes about themselves, I'm not saying that, they definitely, Mike Pence can't laugh at an abortion joke. You know what I mean? But I'm saying like, when there's, the shot at someone like Sarah Sanders or Kelly and Conway, if they laugh, I think they look better to me as a comic, and they're feel probably they don't. But as a person who can laugh

themselves, like, don't you take the power away when someone's shitting on Trump's tiny hands or something? And if you can just laugh at it, doesn't that kind of take it away a little bit? Yeah. I don't know. It didn't work for me from high school when the people made fun of me. Good one, guys. I do look like Pee Wee Herman. Very funny.

You know the way Pee Wee Herman. You look like a doll that a German man made. Well, I, you're guessing, guy like muscular dolls. He did. That's fucking queen. What, did you really get made fun of a kid as a kid? A little bit. I mean, like what?

Well, I was rather awkward. I would say and I Used to brag when I got an A on things and the other children are not like that Well, I would call myself sweet a Mackie. I look sweet a Mackie strikes again ruined in the curve socket losers Asian kids I do I do I picture a new running for your life. I use to make fun of kids who got seas. I have the role of these ditch diggers or they did before you invented bulldozers.

Suck it. I hate you. Do you see what I'm dealing with now? I can't. I mean, so nobody, there's something about that dinner man where it's like, I don't like that it's from Michelle. I mean, she won. It's insane that you open every new site. It's like she's the top thing.

It's insane. Every late night show, she's in the monologue. Like for a comic to make that is insane. Sam will never have that until he gets arrested for murder. How do I think then? I think you're looking. Well, it'll say comedian. It'll say failed comic murders people.

I'm a retired comedian. Stupid laugh. It's not really a joke. You're dumb. There you go again. Make it fun to dump people. The world needs advertisers Have a time he's a great job, but he's talking about I just it's not the job for failed

It's like you can't make people laugh tell them that they're the other it doesn't You should send an advertising from your last Conan set I give it to you. You were almost there. It was almost there. It took too long. It took too long. You thought it was going to be a killer out of the gate. Well, yeah, I got a little cocky in that setup for sure.

I think. I don't know, I think. Here's a problem is that comedians are fucking going after her. Which comedians are going after? What? Which can be who's going after her? Miller. Dennis Miller. Yeah, but is he even a comedian anymore? Yeah.

I would say, I mean, come on. When's the last stand-up special with Dennis Miller's though? He just had one a couple years ago. Did he? Well, here's the thing, I didn't hurt him. If Mike wasn't taking a piss right now, we'd be able to pull it up. A lot of heat in this pot, can't say. When Mike comes back.

No, we have a lot of water. We have a lot of free water. When Mike comes back, we'll pull it up. When Mike comes by, no, we have a lot of water. A lot of free water. When Mike comes back, we'll pull it. Dennis Miller, who else? Well, Dennis Miller went after with the lamest tweet of all time. What was it? He said, Wednesday, I'm going to do something long

long to have him to do some research on her, and I'm going to have something brutally mean to say by Wednesday. Yeah, but somebody wrote, Michelle would have done it in 19 minutes or something. Michelle would have had it by tonight. Yeah. Like he's saying that you fucking idiot. Takes you to Wednesday to register.

I haven't heard any comic that like is like a real working act trasher. I haven't seen that. You know, I think Dennis Miller is a big comic name. I think he's a comic, I think he's a, uh, was a legend back in the day, but like, I think he's kind of was a legend back in the day, but like I think he's kind of falling off, man. It's a stand up. I don't think you've fall out of being a legend. Once you're there, you're there.

I don't know, rich fosterly. So well, I mean, having to, having to try to stiff you on, maybe $200. Yeah, maybe the legend is the wrong word. But I don't know, yeah. I mean, look, I understand what you're saying. I'm, I'm, I'm fucking, I'm not saying that he's not still like a huge name. I'm't know, yeah. I mean, look, I understand what you're saying. I'm fucking... I'm not saying that he's not still like a huge name.

I'm just saying. When was Dennis Miller's last status special? I watched that one that was not... I've always liked yours after 9-11. I've always liked Dennis. I've always liked Dennis Miller. It's just a weird thing to me when a guy, okay. So what she did because of where you stand politically,

you don't think was funny, but just go, here's what I, just go write some funny shit. Don't be mean, don't be like fuck you, don't say fuck you. I think when two people are gonna fight, just fight. Stop going fuck you, no fuck you, or fucking punch you, or fucking punch, just fight. I beg to disagree because that's when I'm trying to get out of the fight. Because if you say F you long enough, I'm like I have a bus to catch And that's when the person's like but he's got a bus. I know we don't fight. I'm gonna give you this

I was gonna fight on Saturday I backed out of it. I Should just kept my mouth shut. I was walking. I'm walking. It was Sunday Sunday night. I'm walking that I was walking, I'm walking, it was Sunday, Sunday night, I'm walking, oh, it's a Saturday, I'm Sunday, I'm walking. I don't believe that you were walking anyway. I parked my car for free. I didn't park at the garage, I got a spot, so I am walking, it's two blocks.

So I'm walking from my car, all right, you're right, that was, I was, so I'm crossing, it's a stop sign, and I'm walking through a stop sign. This big black fucking you know You con truck comes rolling up. I thought you were going somewhere else today This black Constructs rolled it up rule through the stop sign and I and I go hey and I point to the stop sign like he and he and he and he And he rolls down you and he and as he's walking

I'm like whatever right almost hit me so I'm I'm I'm walking and he rolls down his windows and yo yo yo. Yeah, I saw the stop sign man I I saw it. I go well. You almost fucking hit me. He's a girl man. You got a chill out big boy You know you and I look in the car it looks like fucking two a rods put together in a tight black, just a black sweater with some gold necklace. This Spanish guy was a big boy. And not, not like Dante Big where I could outrun him, like this guy could're a man, you're getting a little, you're getting a little settled down and getting a little carried away. And I just went, yeah! That's like, I tell you know either tough guy too that he gave you an out.

I feel like a tough guy gives you an out like that. But then I'm sitting there going to, that's why I can't have a gun or a weapon on me ever. Because if I had anything on me, I would have dove in his window and just stabbed his neck. That's like fucking took his car and drove it into Jersey and dumped it off and dumped his shit body and took his necklace. Yeah, gave it to Max. Yeah, without the gun, you're like, yeah, I was out of line. They're getting mad because you broke a traffic roll and almost killed me. That is my fault. Well, there's a kid behind me.

There's those Spanish kids. Tough fuck a fuck. Tough fuck a fucking me out. And he goes, fuck him, man. He almost hit you. I was like, settle down. Don't stay. He's got the guy said fuck.

Stop using words. It's over. It's over. Sure, right, don't. You get an exchange for a boss giving me the 20. You can give him the necklace But today I fucking what's up buddy? 2010 was the last special All right, that is a big news also like I just feel like I'm not saying you're not a comic if you don't put out like a special

A few years or if you don't like you got at least do stand up I don't I don't even know if he does stand up anymore. I think he does, but he doesn't do stand up He doesn't go and like perform my gosh He's more of a pun to the Nikon. He's not doing guest spots in Broadway like this guy sit next to me Sam's in They have a camera He does a lot of corporate events what he does now Yeah, but he also does he doesn't go to clubs to he writes his act at a desk, right?

He said I don't need to go clubs anymore. I just write it right To me, he found a lane yeah politically and and he's of a pundit than a comic like it once you're only Giving it to one side. Yeah, you're not really a comic anymore and once you're out of the clubs your comedy suffers It suffers for sure. I don't I mean And once you want you to do your thing and you're not a do it. I don't think it suffers I don't know. I think you got to to work those jokes out. Well, to do what we do, yeah, to work clubs and maybe someday have a bigger audience, but to do what he does, these corporate events

and in front of his fans, I don't fuck it, he's fine. He does what he does. Yeah, we're talking about being like a standup and like, I think we're all saying the same shit, where it's like if you're not out there, you're not out there. And like, I hadn't heard any other comic who's like a real stand up working comic trash, Michelle, really.

I just don't understand how, as a comic at all or ever, you can say anything about, Michelle took a fucking huge risk, had the balls to stand by her jokes, not just your jokes. And she wrote good jokes. I mean, that's a thing, it's like, whether or not you agree or disagree

She is a respected comment and like I'm pretty conservative on a lot of issues and like a lot of jokes I didn't agree with the content on but yes, that's the thing. It's like if a liberal insults a conservative Conservatives are mad, but if a conservative insults liberals conservatives aren't mad and vice-versa There's a lot of both of them are ass. There's a lot of double stands on both sides. We're like, of course. We're sure there's liberals who would be upset if she was making fun of Obama. Sure there is.

Oh my God, I'll be of course. Of course, of course. No, I do, this is the thing I think about like the bloody head. Yeah. The Kathy Griffin held up of Trump. If that were Obama, that would cause someone that would question forever. That being said, I mean, you can't ignore the racial,

you know, implications of that. But at the I mean you can't ignore the racial You know implications of that But at the same you know what the country's history obviously but like She didn't she didn't do anything nearly like that Michelle didn't do anything nearly Yeah, she told some jokes, but that being said she's became a star overnight from that I mean she was already on the up, but she's a star from that everyone's talking about her She's not gonna back down and she shouldn't back down. She's not gonna back down. And she shouldn't back down. She didn't back down at fuck, she didn't fucking cow-tow at all.

You, I don't care whether you believe it or not, you have to as a comic respect that she didn't, she didn't pander one fucking second. But do I think it's insane that people, like, you know, at this dinner could be like outraged by that, but they fucking, but they support Trump. It's like, how do you hold him to a higher stand I mean her to a higher

standard than him. Here's the thing I don't understand why these assholes keep having stand-up comedians do these fucking things. Just go get the funny goofy guy that did a good once and just let him do it. That's what they used to do which little will be back that's the end of the rich little jleno it's been like a ray trials and elite read the president of the whole play rich little if you ever do is documentary like his is a lot of the bobby that both sides got exactly out of it what they wanted to get out of it like

the left got to like say all this fucked up shit at that dinner and the right got to be outraged and they got to kind of both play their angle like sarah sarah sanders gets to be kind of a victim now and iged and they got to kind of both play their angle like Sarah Sarah Sanders gets to be kind of a victim now and I think she's got a lot of will out of that at that dinner do you think I think so I think well they have to play that card as soon as that card is predictable so fucking predict as soon as that cards available they have to jump on it

especially for her yeah they have to take it because they need as many people to feel bad for because what they did, somebody spun it to where it's about her looks and it wasn't. She actually complimented her eyeshadow, how it was smoky and kind of sexy. But she was telling about her lies and they're making, well, you make fun of her looks and she didn't make fun of her looks at one, one second. It's also funny that people that are like being like, how dare this fucking ugly bitch say that about Sarah Stamber's and you're like, do you not realize what you're like?

You're like, yeah, they're right. She's not that adrenaline. She's a red head. Well, she makes one of her own looks in the... Which was smart, you know, it's good to go self-deprecating so you kind of have an out too. I think she kind of played it well all the way through, you know, I thought it was a good speech.

I think it was, I think from when she did, I started doing it at the pussy cat, and I was like, mother fucker. Yeah. I told her, I go, you doing all that? She's like, yeah, I was a guy. She's got balls, man. I think you got to respect that as a comic.

Yeah, I have to respect it. The comics that apologized for jokes that weren't offensive or being worked out, that's that's that hurts comedy because it empowers people to be like I can shut this down. I can we if we get enough people out right we can make this person lose their jobs. Think about how fucking sad your life is if an apology for a joke gives you validation. It does help me sometimes. But like think about I mean for real I mean it's really like a, it's a lame person. That's why Joan Rivers was such a badass.

I mean, she really, I mean, I remember, there's this part of her special. We remember with the guy, Heckleser. Oh, not her special, her documentary. The guy Heckleser and he's like, because she makes a Holocaust joke and she's like, shut the fuck up. It's so cool that someone like an 80,

it's just so just like, each shit. Yeah, that's what comic should be though. Yeah. Yeah, I told you like last week I had a guy who's started trying to switch it up on me. I thought it was drunk or something and I said something because he didn't get from America's Got Talent.

You really don't like Suddery. I don't. I don't. No, I'm getting enough time. I got shit to do. I gotta get home. I don't know. How do you get that?

I roll my teeth sometimes. to get home. How do you get that? I roll my T sometimes. I already had already had. Fucking wetish. Yeah, I think I think Mickey Michelle, whatever the fuck we want to call her. Yeah, I was very proud of her. And she is huge. I mean, she just made the step when when when other, elite comics, there's like, start talking about you. That's when it's like, all right, you're there now.

Pretty soon she's gonna be bumping Sam at the seller. It's almost though, it's almost weird how, how, I can't wait for that day. Sam just sitting on the cell of floor, punching the rubber mat on the fucking stairs. What's wrong, Sam? I'm not Kevin Brennan. I'm okay with being bumped. I'm okay with being bumped

Let's start a Twitter war Are you creating a fun scenario? I gave her a tag. I think she should have used that. That was a good tag. She had the whole joke about Jake Tapper's face after Sexy, you know, and he said that's all. You know when I said he should tag and now stay tuned for Wolf Blitzer. That's a fun tag. I like the one with Mike Pence is what happens if Anderson Cooper never came out. Yeah, and this cool wasn't gay. That's a great joke. Oh God. That's the thing is she was getting such big laughs up front. People were so with her and she'd say something fucked up

and then she'd come right back. And then what happened was she did a fucked up one and then I wish she could do a fucked up joke and then do like three really good ones and get them laughing. I wish she could do a fucked up joke and then do like three really good ones and get them laughing at. I wish she could have kept them and thrown them back and kept them and throw. I love when a comic does that.

When they, you know, a tell the, right. A tell does that. He'll fuck us, get you, get you, get you, say something. I'm fucked up. We're like, wow, it's like, I was just kidding. And then, you can get you, get you, and brings you, it keeps reeling you back in. People are so stupid, they keep falling for it.

It's like, oh okay, it's fine, it's fine. Wait. And then two minutes later they've forgotten what just happened. But regardless of the content, doing a banquet that's been going on for three hours and they've ate is a hell gig for comedians. Regardless of the content. But she's not playing in the room.

She's playing obviously for everybody. Yeah, for a good home. You're performing those jokes. Right, that's a monologue. That's a elongated tonight show set. You know, that's why it's so different when you have that, when you have set up punch tag, that monologue joke, you have to nail it.

It's not about feeling, you cannot feel the crowd, you can't feel the room, it's fuck you, I'm delivering this from here to here, and whatever happens happens is she, I would have failed. I would have probably went to my, I probably would have just started getting nervous and trying to, hey, where'd you get that jacket? That would be a funny set, though.

That's the crowd. The crowd-aked meltdown. I just start getting blotchy on my cheeks. Look at this guy's stupid face, like, yeah, we can't see it. What camera's on you? What's your name? Anderson Cooper, you jackass. What have my ties just got so wet and wilted?

What? Looks like one of those old Colonel Sanders ties, my little boat ties just wet. I'm just like, yeah, how are you gonna do? Y'all didn't even know you're gay. Candison, you can't even tell. I'm kidding. You know what's interesting too is like so many people were going after like the joke.

I saw so many tweets like people were like, this wasn't funny. It's kind of crazy because like with our jokes in our act, it's like, well we hone a lot of those, we kind of take them through the mud, we try them in a lot of different rooms on the road. So it's like, we know what joke has a high percentage rate. Like, these were divisive jokes. And they're for one event. It's kind of, it's kind of, it's totally different than stand up. It's the model of the hardest gigs.

I think, is it the hardest gig for comics to do? What's harder than that gig? You doing Joe Liss wedding was a tough gig. You did a great job at that. It was outdoors. it was hot. People were getting married, so that was sad. And then you had to, you know, you were playing to a room full of comics.

Well, Joe actually got heckled by Lewis J Gomez. I actually set that up. Oh, really? OK. Yeah, because I, I said Lewis Gomez. Who are you? I didn't see Pop Stutter. I didn't see that.

I didn't see that. I didn't say that Heckler heckler destroyed by comedian and wetting marriage crumbled by comedian Against me every time I watch everything I want to I know because I said Lewis J go I said Lewis Gomez. I didn't have the J And I just wanted to see how committed Lewis really is to being Lewis J. Gomez, the rattlesnake. Let me tell you something, I was fully impressed because I went Lewis Gomez. J, in the middle of the wedding, getting a bit more J. I've never seen someone

I've never seen someone officiating a wedding get heckled before, but Lewis J Gomez. someone appreciating a wedding get heckled before but Lewis Jay Gomez. I said, I said Lewis, Lewis Gomez, Jay, I knew it. You conceded. I know it. Yeah, I'll give a speech to Gary. He was Gary Vieter's best man as a wedding. I heard that was just a truss. It was, it was, it was a mess. That's why Gary. That's why Gary's getting divorced. He's doing a call in segment on her podcast where he gives us updates every week and they're all very depressing. Why are they getting divorced? Am I? Is she a comedian? No.

What does she do? I'm doing this live. What if the AC just gets shut off? Is it on energy saver? I hate energy saver. Is that Mike off? This one? Yeah, no, it's not I hear it. It's turned out. No, you hear it. No, it was on right? Yeah, turn just turn down. Just turn the mic off and you won't hear the AC as much. I literally thought I was having a stroke. It just became so clear this podcast. It was so loud and then he shut the AC off and I was like You put the AC back on in case I bomb more jokes He's joking you fucking

I don't think he was joking No, I was serious. He is you did it back on No, no, I'm gonna get out of it pretty quickly. Yeah There's my Siri one off. Yeah, I think it's weird though, because there's certain comics that do jokes on the right that get really attacked. Like who?

I think Owen Benjamin. I mean, even I don't care. But Owen's a poke. Oh, I think Owen is poking. Like, he was going for that. I think it was trying to poke the nest a little bit. Don't you think? Yeah, but that's what you're supposed to do oh I think Owen is poking like he was going for that I think it was trying to poke the nest a little bit don't you think that's it? That's what you're supposed to do. I think I mean When you think something just say the N word repeatedly and wait, I mean like he knew what he was doing

I think you knew what he was doing absolutely, but I think that he's trying to be funny If you see a show he's writing songs about it. He's being creative about it It's not like he's just sitting there trying to start a cult. He's not trying to fucking, you know, he's not a, I don't think he, he is not a white supremacist. He's not a racist.

He's a family man. He's a funny guy. He's a nice guy. I think he's, that sounds like a press conference. Yeah. I am not a racist. I am a family man.

I love my children. Even the Apollo getting fired from his radio show. Are you kidding me? Well, you just got fired for that. And then you think about Michelle, what happened in front of all these people and did a nice hot abortion joke. And this would happen when you're not a fag joke.

You know what I mean? I mean, you can take it out. I don't know. I mean, it's... I think word choice is everything though, right? I mean, I totally, I don't think it sucks that Nick got fired. Nick is so funny. And he's, uh, one person, that is, but that's Twitter now, dude. That, that is, that's what people do with Twitter. They take it to, to me, whatever,

they think it means how they reflect on it. You know, Seriously, is a private company, right? So they can, they can just fire you. You can shit like that. And by they, that's 1% of the crazy zealots on any issue. Let me ask you you. You can shit like that. And by they, that's 1% of the crazy zealots on any issue. Let me ask you question. It's not most people. Let me ask you question. Yeah. Nick DePolo gets fired.

Right. One person made it, I think, complained or something like that. Very cool. A number of people complained about that he said on a show. He probably saw a job, right? But then he took it that right. Exactly. That's, I mean, to me, that's what's crazy about it.

Okay, but now, and I'm just asking, I don't know the answer. I'm not I'm gonna say now How many people do you think were offended by Michelle's performance on TV? What's a much bigger thing obviously? Okay, but a lot a lot But doesn't she's not gonna no one's gonna fire her. She's not not having her show. This is actually good for her career It was set up to promote her show because it's on the left Yeah, if she was a right wing comedian, if that was Nick DiPolo, would his whole career be ruined today? Probably not. I mean, look at what's happening with Joy Reed at MSNBC right now, where she has had a million different stories about these homophobic blog posts. Right. Where she's already admitted to doing some in the past, but now she's like, they were definitely hacked.

Maybe I don't remember doing them. It doesn't look like they were hacked. It's like, if that was a right-winged person, people would be calling for a job a lot more than that you're seeing happening. I think people call for the job on both sides, it's just which side listens. Right. And look, the right and the left, they kind of turn on each other in different ways. Like with the Me Too movement, the left is really the one that's getting I mean Al Franken I

mean you can compare Al Franken and Roy Moore all day you know I mean he it's they both go after their own people in interest that suit them right yeah it wasn't the it wasn't that Michelle jokes were offensive it was the content offended some people yeah and it wasn't Apollo's joke that was that offensive it was the content. Yeah, but he lost his job immediately, which is outrageous to me. Which makes me think maybe they wanted to get rid of him

for something else. I mean, maybe, right? Because I think I've done Nick's show. I have a ton of fun on it. I think he's really a pure comedian, like a really funny person. Yeah. And I love that we go on and disagree

about stuff in a funny way. That's kind of what I love about. So I think it's a bummer when someone like that gets candid to sucks. You need Nick DePolo. You need Owen Benjamin. You need Anthony. You need these shows because you need a place

for other people to have different opinions so that we can have discussions and number one, laugh in the middle of it somewhere I think. Owen is on YouTube. Owen's got a YouTube channel. I mean, I'm not saying I agree with any of this stuff, but you know, these private companies can't be happy.

Don't have. It is a huge left wing that she hates this talk. But she's going in there and I'm going to pretede she's going to. I think that's what. That's what that's what. That's what. She's going to. She's going to.

She's going to. She's going to. I'm a liberal liberal but i'm also a comic so i think i think that people to talk to jening graph i think i think silencing people is not the way to now that's the problem we have at college campuses it's so dominated by the next joke dude that was nicta power joke it's so dominated by one ideology that it's okay now to to censor other to to sense are other I think we should be centering people because of comedy sucks like Mackie not because you know well apparently

you didn't see my standout set on Conan O'Brien last Wednesday I get to see that thanks for watching I had no idea you are gonna it's gonna still a Yeah, are you kidding? I'm kidding, dude. I'm kidding. No, I'm not kidding I don't know people say that cuz then TBS so people people take shots I heard about the 310,000 views I have on his Facebook page really it says autistic boy kills Spectrum does it again Come on Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We name accords for it. We name accords. No, those were for grades. For grades. It's gonna be shitting. Who takes that long? All right, whatever.

Well, you're right. I think that it was a planned out attack on us to really pump up Michelle Wolf. And then those jokes, whatever the fuck you say say they were funny. They were edgy. Some of them didn't land most of them did and She gave a wildly courageous performance as a stand-up in front of an impossible gig I would have backed out of I'll say it right now if you kill in that room your hack if you I agree. Yeah, it's I disagree because I think she did kill. I think she got the, I think she got those people to laugh.

She got them on her side up front and then she went, you know what? Fuck it. Here we go. She could have just killed the whole time, but then she went for the gusto. Some of these jokes were really like what the fuck and then what she believes Dude, it's not like she was saying stuff. She doesn't believe maybe not It's not maybe better way to say it's it's not if you kill your your hack But like if you kill maybe you took it a little too easy

That room like you after the show what we talk about comedians who kill every set and they're usually hacked So usually people that aren't doing any new shit. They usually people that are sometimes means that bomb every setter our hacks as well Sam What do you mean? Joe explain further we couldn't catch them why why why why can't I just say that why did he bring us down this whole path? I had to explain I wanted to say that he's classic a day of no more set up to his jokes I'm a long wind up sometimes Bobby But the pitch still gets there. Are you going to kill him or she might?

Why is your face so wide? I have a wide face joke. That's hard to recover from that. Look at it. He look a teenage mutant ninja turtle as a teenager. I had somebody I like. I know you put your old insult on to me He said teenage we need to turtle as a teenager. Yeah, well give me the bandana Let's take it back

I have to be so fucking aggressive about it That's why it's here what is on that bandana.? It's, what do you mean what's on it? What's the design? Oh, the design. It's called the bomb danna. Oh, and there you go, right there. Oh, so it's your face. Yeah.

Yeah. I had it at somebody. I like when people walk out. I think you're right. I had somebody walk out Sunday night at my show And there was a couple I saw everybody was having a good time pretty cool, you know, it was a mom and her daughter They stink maybe the worst. Yeah, they would just they stayed weren't supposed to be then they got up and walked out I'm like good that I don't want you if you like me. I'm fucked

If you're if you're the ones if you like this is correct I'm fucked because you're not my fan base. I have a fan base that likes my shit. I know what they are. They're 18 to 45 to 50 and mostly males, and there's a bunch of chicks in there, but mostly dudes, I know, but if a mother and daughter are sitting there,

so I have some mothers and daughters. I think mothers and daughters could like, I think there's a type of mother and daughter that you can tell you. That type. There's a lot of mother daughter motorcycle gang. Yeah. But Mackie, I think you're right. No, but there is like the daughter's in the side car.

The mother has a short haircut and it's gray. She looks like she works on cars. Sorry, Bobby, we're late. Me and Kathy weren't're gonna make it. There was so much traffic on the fucking Long Island Expressway. Last time I was at a size flitter, a woman walked out of my set, and she sent a picture of her face crying to the club. This is what this comedian did to me.

I made her cry with my jokes. On what show? It was a joke about an alligator eating a baby at Disneyland. What happened? It's a long story. It in the baby at Disneyland. What happened? It's a long story. It's like a seven minute bed. Oh, just tell me, did an alligator really eat a baby? The joke is that Pester off.

Yeah, it's an old story at Disney. It's happened like September. I was doing the bit and it really happened. Yeah, and I said the mom, she said, you know, in the joke, the mother, she, they were pissed. So they said, I said, do you even see the funeral? And they were like, no. And I was like, if you did, you would have seen the mother come on and say, see a later alligator, which was heartbreaking.

So, so the mom walks out for your, you know, she was at the mom who lost the baby though. No, she, the mom and the crown didn't lose the baby. He sure? That'd be a fucking monstrous move. That would be, that would be an awesome heckler takedown. Oh. Eat your heart, Steve, off steady.

She's here just trying, if she's trying to get over a death of her baby by alligator. And then she goes in some fucking tall thin, fucking glass of water from New York. Yeah, has a not a seven minute joke about her baby dying. That would suck. No, she was just, she was just offended. She just didn't like it. I mean, and she sent a picture of her crime. And she was, and she was like picture of her crime and she was and she was like He was the proof and then it was a picture Yeah, if that's not blown up on canvas and framed in your fucking house I still haven't you are the fucking an asshole that should be framed in your fucking bedroom Well, he is an asshole though

If you don't frame that as a, just blow it up, frame it, and having your living room, and people go, what's that? Oh, it's a lady, I offended a bug, a dead baby joke. Plus, like anybody can have, can take a selfie of themselves when they're crying and just blaming

on one of Sam's sets. I do it constantly. Crying, I can't possibly. I had a lady downstairs. I'm on stage, hot couple, you know, that middle-aged type of hot, maybe 38. She's her boyfriend real hot. Making out while I'm on stage. I mean, full on, fuck making kissing.

It wasn't your act though. Yeah, makes people make out. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So I did a joke about, I used to have a joke about scaring people and I scared, I forgot I went, it scared, scared you retarded or something and then it actually cured, what if that cured retarded, she's just scaring them, you just walk up, boom, oh my god, what the fuck?

And go, boom, no, no, get me back. It was whatever it was, right? I forget. She went in the hallway. I got him kicked out because they were making out. I was like, guys, can you stop making out like fucking your 15 and they got mad and they wanted to get kicked out. She wrote a letter to me saying, my, I'm very offended at you. I can't believe you did jokes. My nephew has a muskled dystrophy. I was like what? It's never tired. It's not retarded. She brought up a whole other fucking disease. It's like when people write about like a dead uncle on Facebook and they'll give you grandpa but uncle fuck off You know, but she left her number having a tough day everybody my cat died three years

But it's like I like I wasn't making fun over nephew. I wasn't making fun of retarded people I mean I was I mean when I do that joke today. No, but it was fucking I love a split screen with Bobby like Make a fun of a tired of people I just I just got so mad. I actually called her up. She left her number. Yeah, I called her up I go I know make fun them She was I just hung up Fuck you. I just went back to making out with a boyfriend It's so funny though because you're right people are cattle

I wonder if they if they pumped laughter into that room if people would if people would have laughed Yeah, we can make the whole crowd turn on Vos mean Keith just with a couple. Oh What do you think the left track on a sitcom is yeah, that's what they're doing? We should try during one of Sam sets I knew he was going for that I knew that was coming in my life. I did too I By it's him bombs a lot We're gonna do another read real quick

Are we allowed to add lib with the read about how much we like this product? Yes. You can. Blue apron. Do you have blue apron? I just heard someone talking about the other night. It's the food service. Yes. Yes. I'm itching my ear. Sorry. I got way too far in my ear. No, but it was like I'm realizing this like I'm down to my second knuckle. I was like, no, but it was like, I'm realizing this, like, I'm down to my second knuckle. I was like, what's out for your brain? I actually use blue apron a lot. Not a lot, I usually around once a month, maybe twice a month I have it. I love it, I love it because I get to cook, and I'm a messy son of a bitch with it. Blue apron is unbelievable. For six weeks in April, through April 16th

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What's a bad idea? Someone's going to die. When did you go out for dumplings? The other night was a sunny night. We left here and I was giving him a mushy ride. And then I went, I go like this, this is what I said. I'm gonna even ride up the street because he's, where you staying?

Harlem. Harlem. So I'm going up the way I go, you wanna ride and he goes, yeah. You know, yeah, somebody for riding, you're like, they're mealy. Before you finish, yeah. So then I remember the car and I go, I'm hungry. I shouldn't have said that.

I go, yeah. What do we plug in? You know just that? You know that guy who wants to ride, or a fact guy who wants to ride, or if he's hungry, because both answers are gonna be yes. And I went and we, I should have got a salad at the seller. I should have just got something healthy,

but I just saw the word dumplings on a building. I just pulled over immediately. To be fair, you were looking for a better restaurant for it. Yeah. And we couldn't find it. And then we just saw the word dumplings. I forgot parking. It was graffiti as well.

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I mean, this week's menu, sorry. And this episode, you're listening to it right now, and get the first three meals free at blue Apron.com slash dude. So that's how you do this. You chubbies at home, you know you wanna try. Let how you do this. You chubby's at home. You know, you want to try. Let's just do it. Your first three meals are free. Just go to blue apron dot com slash dude. And you will get it. It's a blue apron, a better way to cook. You're going to love this place. Have you tried blue apron, Sam? I have it. It looks good. But let me tell you something.

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¿Try not to say you strike strike ethnicities during the ads, Bobby. I really fucked up there, yeah. OG Simpson for Nike, I. What happened? I was banging a ui and I looked and nobody was there. I've done it a lot. You were having sex with me. I mean, I named ui.

Oh my god. You fucked up, dude. I like that one. I'm not gonna give you this. but he should have it, but he's on watch right now He's too excited about He really enjoys one of his jokes there He's not your standard Thank you, so you're here. You're here.

So that joke was actually here for you. You have a higher standard than me. Have you seen the smut this man? What's that? We call him poop joke moral down the comedy dance table. The poop scoop dog. They call me. The baby killer.

Someone walked up to me on the subway yesterday and quoted a dead baby joke. I'm going to go. How did you have? I have a feel. Really? He just walked up to me and said, worst baby shower ever. And I was like, oh yeah, that's mine. What was that?

What? Did you hear that? I'm literally dying inside. I think I'm dying inside. Yeah. Oh yeah, I just heard a high-pitched ring in my right ear. We just had your knuckles in your ear drum. We were doing the fluey for an act.

Do you smell burnt toast? No, I doubt. I don't think that's a real thing, by the way. I think it is. Is it? What was that other thing I wanted to talk about? You hit a Mexican. Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I should finish that. Let's not fly by that. I was driving and I banged the ui and I looked and nobody was there. I was sitting there and I just heard fump on my door and I looked and it was a dude, a little Spanish dude on the bike and I was like, oh fuck.

Now look, he hit me. Now I'll tell you why, because he was on the side of my car. He hit the side of my car. The side of my car can't hit you. You understand? Unless it's moving that way. I was already turned, you hit the side of my car.

So maybe I turned, I don't think I turned it from, I don't think he was looking, whatever, he hit my car. It was an as soon as he, I'm like, I'm fucked. If this guy's hurt, I'm done, right? Cause you know, so right when I, I've seen some white lady that New York liberal, you know, troublemaker, you know, that one of them fucking runs the co-op board.

Coming over immediately to fucking take me to court and just to pay for his lawyer fees Look where you did to him. Yeah, but as soon as I saw I rolled my window down I went to the guy go me da me da She backed right away and we started with Spanish on Spanish crap. Oh, wow. She backed right away When she she thought it was some white guy in a four, you know what? Backed right away when she was like I I don't have any rights with Spanish, I'm Spanish people.

I went, meet him, meet him, come here, meet him. And she went right away. And he came over and I was like, you all right? And he's like, fuck, man, fuck. Like, he was fine, but he's going, oh, I don't know. I took out a 50, I go, here, take that. Bison and Penaudas and blue apron, that's not. I can't tell you how fucking he healed like magic

As soon as I hit it in that 50s like okay, man. Thanks, but he was waiting for a month Wow, I gave him that 50 he was like I had a hundred and I I had I took out two fifties I'm giving the counter for 20 boss I took I thought it was 20s, but it was 50s. I just wanna go, I thought it was funny. Thank you so much, sir. I took him out and it was 250s and I went, I pointed that way and he looked and I took the other 50, I put it in my pocket and then I took the 50s.

I can't talk. And he took it and he was fine, but I was like, shit. This lady was coming over to read me the riot act. Yeah, she was, it was weird too. As soon as I went meet her, meet her. She read me the riot act. Yeah. Yeah, she was. It was weird too. As soon as I went meet her, meet her. She backed right the fuck away. Well, like you look like you're at least owning up to it too.

Well, I had these new Spanish glasses on too. I saw those. You look like Elvis, man. It was kind of cool. Thanks. Um, late 70s Elvis. Yeah, late 70s Elvis. We know what Elvis said.

You're talking about it. Actually late 80s. Not Jellhouse Rock Elvis. Wow, I didn't see that coming. I actually felt good for a second. I literally was like, I do. Matthew jokes you're like the guy in Austin Power. She's going to get steamrolled and just like no

Why didn't you just leave So yeah, I went up to and then I had to spend 10 minutes In therapy talking about me hitting this fucking guy. It was so I got shit I gotta talk about this I just hit a guy Ten minutes later. He's like why are you late? I'm like I just hit a guy on a bike. Oh, he hit me. I was so, I got shit. I got to talk about this. I just hit a guy. I was 10 minutes late. He's like, why are you late? I'm like, I just hit a guy on a bike. Oh, he hit me. I think he hit me. He's like, why do you think he hit you? Cause he hit the side of me. That was your therapy money too. Can we get by the way? Can there be more comics that go to our guy right now? I know. Every time I go in, I'm like, this guy's not even

working comic yet. He's like an open micro, how do you get a wreck? They got his name. I, are you past my therapist? I'm not. I'm not. I asked he books the hour. I don't, the last five minutes is gibberish. Yeah.

I don't talk about shit in the last five minutes. Yeah. Why? Because I know there's a fucking open micro out there, just wait for me to talk about trash and fucking Keith Robinson. You know, I heard Bobby Trashing going therapy. You know, he puts that stupid music on, but that doesn't do anything. Doesn't help.

That noise maker doesn't work, man. I went in one time, somebody was in there before me. I went in right after them and I recited everything they said. I go, it doesn't work. I want a fucking louder machine out there. Or a better door. Yeah. Fucking Alan. Stupid chair. He has a couch in there now too. It's a nice okay. Yeah, but I fall asleep on it. I'm too tired. When as soon as I open up my

my brain shuts down. If we start getting anywhere in therapy, I shut down my body shuts down. That's such a bad sign of holding shit in. Oh, I'm kidding, yes. So you guys having sex? Ah! Ah! What? Why forrested by secret service? What do you think about Joe Mackey's act?

That was Alan sleeping. What do you think about those Brooklyn and sheets? Hey, hey, hey. You push it too far, dude. You push it too far, dude. That was a good thing. What do you do? Brooklyn and sheets I used to what happened I think I'm cured Everything is great. Can you tell that I'm well adjusted? Are these the eyes of us of a crazy person? No, you haven't looked at me in an hour

Keep looking down at the floor Stay with me There goes you look at away again You don't want to you don't want to look into these eyes. I Really don't Too shiny you don't. If I get too shiny, you have doll eyes. A lot of, a lot of these like doll heights. How, how a lot of ladies, how long can you stare at me? You don't blink a lot, Maggie.

Yeah. You don't blink. Why is that? Cause he's a serial killer. I'm concentrating on what? Cutting my throat? Yeah, what do you think? Oh, I blinked. You win.

Are you win you crazy? Stop. Okay, stop. Joe was a lot of friends at files, dude. Oh my God. I used to watch files. Oh man. He will cite episodes.

I'll be like, I was watching his episode, Mackie will just say how it ends. He's in the scene. He's in the scene. And the quick one's crazy about, I was watching one today and they're always saying, they always say, the, the, the, the, um, please sketch look just like the person, I'm like, no, he didn't.

They're like, there's like, they had eyes and nose and mouth. They're like, he looked like the person's face, they're like, we are like, no, it didn't. It looked like a bad cartoon drawing of someone who was also a human male. Yeah, the drawers are never good. They're never good.

Never good. They should get the court drawers to draw the people. But how are you gonna draw somebody who doesn't exist? They you never met. You got to, that's a crazy gig. They should have computers that do that. There should be a computer that just does it. You should be able to have to pick a movie star, right?

And then go for that. And work backwards. Paul Rubin's now a little heavier. Right, exactly good. Yes, a little more muscle to Sam. JFK, balding. And LVS 1985. LVS 1985.

LVS 1985. I still funny that LVS, you like the only time I think and 1985 Elves 1985 I still funny that Elvis, he like the only time I think about him is a moment like a comedy club And they're like you want the Elvis burger. What is the Elvis burger? It's like peanut butter and banana burger Oh, it's pretty good. It's pretty damn good. I said my work down for him Oh, I'm sorry. I have a whole thing here of of of i always forget guys are about that uh... yeah

rr rr all the comedy seller vagus is back on by the way anybody else oh yeah for sure it's for sure how you're aware that they had a fix a couple things that's it that a fix a few things but the room the people played the room already are flipping out. They're saying it's almost like you're in New York City.

You forget that you're in Vegas because of the room. And the room is so good, like the laughter, the rolling laughter, who's there next? Gad is there, holy shit. That's a big show. When is that? Dude, Mark Cone, dude, Mark, he's got one of the funniest jokes What's that joke? He's like Where's like the cops knock on his door and they're like so we're looking for a rapist and he's like I'll see what I can do

Mark Cohen man, I never met him, but I'm looking forward to him. He's a funny motherfucker man me. I believe me Keith Robinson me Keith Robinson Paul Verzi and Rich Voss. Wow. I'm gonna be at the last week in August, in Vegas, from I think I believe Thursday through Sunday. Look out for the right side of that Crab's table, the Keith Stroke Truck. All right, never mind, give me the bandana.

Yeah, please, he's this shit's flying around today. It really stays in one place for a while. You guys are swinging for the fence. It's like, T-Ball, look, we're trying to be funny here. I usually punted in T-Ball, who is much dumb-gul. I have T-Ball now, and it's infuriating. T-Ball. Kids are so stupid. Well, there's no outs in T-Ball now and it's infuriating. T-Ball. Kids are so stupid.

There's no outs in T-Ball. Everybody gets to bat. Everybody runs around the bases. You just get to sit there for three long fucking innings. And that type of, you know, those parents, there's a couple that are cool, but there's a couple that, it's their third kid, their third year of T-Ball, the other kids at the other field, and you know, and they, ugh, it's just, you know, it's just annoying.

My kids looking for the glove and the lady who's supposed to be helping the kids is holding his glove and, you know, and she's running her, it's like, what positions are you kid play? They play all, there's no position. They see a ball, they all run for it. It's a ball, they're like fucking dogs at that point. They see a dog, and they run for it, and they throw it at the coach's face,

who's five, like an inch away. They don't know. So it's like, you know, and I felt bad, my kid, you know, my max had a good time last time, but the first day he was flipping the fuck out. You know, he started, he was running for the ball, he didn't understand it. And they would literally hit,

every kid is a righty, so every ball went to first base. That's every ball. They had him in left field. He's not getting, so every time somebody hit, he would run from left field to first base to try to get a ball. There's 19 kids just fighting for a ball.

Why are we trying it? Even the guy on first base went to get the ball. Why are we trying to make kids play sports before they can play sports? Because you're trying to socialize them. You're trying to give them rules. You're trying to teach them how to do something, how to play something, and you teach them how to be a team. you teach them how to share, you teach them how to play a position.

I didn't learn any of that and I turned out just fine. Well, let's get them in there. Yeah, let's get them in there. Hell, this 1968, right here. Maggie broke right out of that test tube and went to first base. You really were a maid. I was not, I'm not from a test tube. You know, you were maid and keeps saying you're a test tube, baby.

You're a test tube, baby. I don't have a robot heart either. I spread that room. You're a champ in Z-Hot. You're like, you're like, Christian Slater. We have to charge Mackie before podcasts. Is that why the fucking plugs are always fucked up? That's my been a lot lighter this second half too.

Mackie's got a USB port. It's back. I do need some booze. Do you want some booze? I did not come to you. Mackie, well, sir, Mackie's the funny he's got to drink with because he just, he, he goes some like, surlyly to sweet to back to sirly He'll be like you like oh I sure am looking have friends like you then two minutes later is like you hack

Well both are true Consistent you never played sports when you're a kid. Oh, I played sports and I was damn good Now did you really call me the regulator? You're getting geek off the street. You got to be handy with steel if you know what I mean aren't you keep That's doing it. You're doing the young guns rafferant. Can you pass me a water? Ah, you made my fucking stomach hurt. I almost fell. What? Did you play sports really? Yeah, I played sports. Why do I think you're from Canada? I'm from State College, Pennsylvania. The Canada of Pennsylvania, State College. You're from Pennsylvania? What part? State College. That's what it's called. Yeah, we just- I like that he just said that he was an athlete

and he leaned over to get a water and nearly fell over. Hey, it's hard leaning his heart. You don't lean when you're hitting home runs and adult self-low pitch softball Sam. Mackie, you can be able to dunk. Yeah, I'm a good athlete. You get dunk, I could dunk.

No shit. Yeah, don't us. Oh boy. I will text my friends from Lysl. I actually thought that joke. I know, I should have done it. Don't try to do jokes on your podcast, Bobby. I'm trying to move it.

Yeah, but you could try harder. I can try harder. I can't. I don't know, I think he's been trying all this time. It just isn't working. I think Sam is doing fine. I think if Sam was right in those late, late, late, in spots, I'll be back.

The room of the bath. That's right. You are robots. Oh boy. Someone puts an oil in him immediately. Yeah. Did you play sports? Do you play basketball? Yeah, but I have a bulge disc.

I can't do shit right now. It sucks. Are you kidding me? It sucks. I don't know. I don't know what happened. Bobbing. Bobbing hurt you.

I wasn't allowed. I was like, ow. Ah. It's. See? I think... Bobbing... Bobbing... Bobbing... Bobbing... I was in Florida and I was like, oh! It's... See you later, alligator. Oh! He was dunking...

Oww! I do what does he mackey dunking over someone in the park? No dude, it's painful. What sports were you into? Just basketball really. Just basketball. Yeah, I like baseball too, but it's mostly basketball right and you still you still have your sports show It's not the seasons over so it's not on right now, but uh did it get picked up again?

I mean, I would guess no based on how the team's playing really because the you know It's the ratings the team gets the network gets ratings based on how the Nixon Rangers play and they're both Purposely losing right now purposely well, they can Nixon Rangers play and they're both purposely losing right now. Purposely? Well, they can't say that, but they're tanking the rebuilding. Well, so they want, they want first rounds. Yeah, they want, they want good picks. So at the beginning of the season, the Nixon plane really well.

And I was getting like, people would stop me a lot. And now it's like second half of the season, like, super rare. I have a bet right now with Big J. Ocusen. We met a bet for the sixers, sixers, Celtics. Sixers, Celtics. J's a diehard, sixers. He's legit.

He watches when they suck. I used to watch the Celtics back with Bird, and I was a big fan as a kid. I stopped watching later in life. I stopped a lot of sports. They got one of the, the Celtics have one of the best coaches in the league. I mean, Brad Stevens is incredible now.

I'm not, I'm of course a fan of all Boston teams because I have to be, but in the league. I mean, Brett Stevens is incredible now. I'm not, of course, a fan of all Boston teams because I have to be, but I am not a diehard Celtics fan anymore. I used to be when I was a kid, but now we made a bet that if the set, whoever wins, it's $50 plus a central body massage. So the loser has to give the winner a central, like a real massage. So the loser has to give the winner a sensual, like a real massage. I would argue that the winner is also the loser.

I went after I did it. I was talking to my wife. She goes, so if you win, you're going to have a guy rub oil on you. Yeah, that sounds hard. And I was like, yeah, maybe that I would rather be the guy. I think I want to lose. I think I would rather be the, I was on the road, I was in Tacoma, I was trying. At least I could say I was working. I was in, I was, wait, so if you, if you win big J, rubs his hands all over your body. Yes. If you lose, you rub your hands on the whole body.

I'd rather rub his body than be rubbed. Is that less gay? If they're just, it's just a weird situation. When I was, his body then be rubbed. Is that less gay? It's just a weird situation. When I was one, I feel like I'm a worker. I can have a fantasy, like once you're in college, from a side therapy, I'm trying to do this to get into real estate.

Like, I'm all back story. Gay or straight, there's no possibility that someone couldn't be aroused by either of those situations. Well, you say you would say. I was in Tacoma when the pensioner started it was like in so much pain, man. And I went to downstairs in the hotel, there was a massage therapist. And I was like, can I get a massage here?

And they were like, we only have a guy and I was like, no. I've gone. And that's like so, that's so funny. That's so funny. That's so life, though. I'll tell you this, it's better. I did the same thing. I used to only get girls.

I remember one time I got a massage at one of the Asian places, and 20 minutes in I looked down and there was girl flip flops with guy feeding them. And I looked up and it was a guy at the front door, the Chinese guy, and I was like, what the fuck? And he goes, what busy? He went to food.

And I was like, you gotta get a girl. But I wanted my back really got fucked up I have a pinch never in my back and my little my pinky and this finger will go numb It sucks and my wife at this guy Bill He knew what the Harvard for anatomy. He knows everything about your body Yeah, and he's a massage therapist with her when she worked at Maxima salon He came in and he worked my body. He got under the muscle inside my armpit

and he worked, I could feel my finger again. He fixed me in like one session and I would go back to this and he was better. You should go to a guy because I'm not, guys have a stronger. They can beat you up a little more getting your you know what I mean then you know a middle-aged fucking woman from Jersey who's gonna you know do butterflies the whole time it seems like I could

have done more with his degree though then he's like what you know it's the latest man how was your how was he was he actually did he was doing the massage therapy to go to more school and now he's actually doing something. He's making a ton of money doing something else. So he did. You're right. Good, good, good, good CSI work. Yeah, good. Catch you, Rick. I'm sorry. I just got lost when he was his hands were in your armpit. And he had a degree from Harvard. I just got into Alan Dershowitz and now he's rubbing your back.

You got a point. No, he... Well, because if you keep most massage therapists, he got into my armpit under the bone. He touched you places. I actually was no one ever had before. I was disappointed. Because when I showed up, he had a studio. And when I showed up, it was just an apartment, a studio apartment that he had where he worked on people. And I was like, do you want me to take my pants off? He's like, no. I'm like, nothing, you know, because I,

you know, you don't want to work on my life. He's like, put on these nipple clamps. I went to Harvard. He was like, no, I know what I'm doing. He was like, he's like, leave me pants on. You don't know work on my life He's like put on these nipple clamps. I went to Harvard He was like no, I know what I'm doing He's like leave me pants on you don't have to take him off and I was like yeah, cuz he was gay I don't miss she says he's a gay guy and I was like okay cool whatever who cares But I got they want to nothing to do with me which really bum me Cuz I thought he was gonna play all right take everything off and lie and that's hilarious like the dumb

We are straight guys. We were like, he'll probably want to suck my dick a little bit. Wanted nothing to do with everything. Of course not. I thought it was. Not an Elvis fan. All right, take everything off and lie on your back. What?

Lie on your back. Yeah, nothing to do with me. And but he really, you should, if you get a chance to get a massage by a guy, you should do it. Really do it Put your put all your homophobic stuff away and let it down. It's like it's not even like yeah, you're right It's just I gotta get over it. Yeah, you gotta get over it not get hard That's a hard part

Yeah, no fill up some guys rub me on my dammit Damn it you stop screaming. Oh My god, I'm coming to the gun. There's nothing in your bag This never happened before Keep scoaching up but you dig through the face hole Shit Well, sexual intercomers Well, sexual intercomers.

Yeah, the comedy riot, oh, this Thunderdome, WBAB, me and Rich Vos are doing this show. And here's the thing, is they're picking an opener, okay? You can be the opener for this show. This show is the comedy riot. They used to do this a long time ago. They quit doing it. It's the first year, I think in seven years, they're doing it again.'s the first year I think in seven years. They're doing it again

Scroll up a little bit pal Can you read that stuff scroll yeah up? I mean let me see the stop up Yeah, it's right there stop. It's Roger and JP's comedy right these guys are fucking hilarious They're great guys we're doing they pick me and Vos to do this They want to pick the opener for the show and you can do it If you get in touch Joe you should sign up for the dude. Will you please? I know the P has devil hards. I don't think I'm funny. We've won you guys did it and you just blew us off the stage Maybe much funnier when Sam loses

He doesn't doesn't win this. No, we got it. We definitely got I don't even think that's a bomb I think that's just a stupid thing to say. That was just true. I wasn't making you joke. Scroll down. So all you have to do is go to that page, right there. Go to that page. Click here to submit your video entry. You can have, if you survive, what does it say? Read it. I can't read it. Do you have what it takes to survive Roger and JP's comedy Thunderdome? Yeah. Register now with a three minute video of your best stand up for a shot to open. Roger and JP's comedy riot June 1st at the NYC Beat the Inter at Westbury.

So the prizes you get to open for you and Rich Voss want? Well, not just like a $25 gift or two. Well, many long Island comics will enter. So that's not That's not sweet eating the deal. Did you say Abelbees? I like Abelbees. I wish you described your comedy this conversation. Well that's a good thing.

Thank you. You really are on the fucking level with riblets. You guys are insulting me even that all sounds delicious. I do want to get fucked up on like a blue electric lemonade. That'd be like a fun drinking night, you know, like what happens when you add tons of sugar to alcohol? Like like every crowd of improv. They have a wet willies up.

They own wet willies and the improv and as people are walking in there stopping at wet willies, getting a fucking 75 ounce super gulp of alcohol, drinking most of it in line and then going and sitting in the front row. By the time you get up after the nine acts, they're literally just their heads of bobbling. It's also that hangover, they were drinking like rattlesnakes.

Have you heard of that? It's like Bailey's and cremdecoco. It's like, it's just sugar they were drinking like rattlesnakes if you heard of that it's like bailies and cremde cocoa It's like it's just sugar. It's like a milkshake. Why wouldn't they name a rattlesnake a drink that's something good It's a fine point you had a snake it's bad. It's bad I'm not gonna check Twitter after this show I wouldn't check it after any show Joe. I don't check Twitter at all. I hope to, can we just say, I hope Twitter goes away. I think it's comics.

If we can all delete our Twitter accounts, just one day, just say fuck it. Every comic in the world says I'm out. I'm off Twitter. Just promote gigs on it. No, not even, you can't even, it does nothing for gigs. People don't see it.

It's so far, okay, Instagram or at least Facebook, you can target an audience in a certain town who likes certain things. And yes, you have to pay a couple bucks for it, but you can target audiences so that it's like, these people see that ad. There's no fucking value to Twitter, except you get likes and retweets or

Hatred yeah a lot of hatred a lot of hatred mostly hatred. Yeah people don't see your at it gets buried It just goes down there's no way if you have a gig in Denver and you tweet about it that it's going to ever get anywhere to anybody in Denver What happened? They have Twitter in there. Did I lose you guys? Did my speech just fucking shut everybody down? Sorry, I get a little... Just depressed me.

Yeah, Sam, your clear is going nowhere and nothing you do will ever help that. That's the thing I was doing. You definitely not helping. Well judging by our podcast numbers, that is true. You have great, you have fine numbers. We'll get in there, we'll get in there.

Well you know what, honestly our podcast is getting a nice groove. I think the Michael Chey episode, the two-parter was epic. It was like, a lot of people were talking about the songs in that one. And how hammered Mackey got was fucking amazing. The songs in your show, like it are so professionally done. It's insane. It's really insane. If you haven't listened to Keeping Jow, you're stupid.

New episode with Hassan Manage tonight. Talk, we talk a lot about the Michelle thing too. Oh really? It's good. Was he a little bummed out that because he didn't get as much heat as he shall? Oh we got so much heat out of it. But not as much as her. She's getting more vitriol. I think it's more of like a, it's more of a thing because Trump's in office now and I think when he was there, there was still that like liberal smug of like there's no way we're going to lose. So he was there kind of just a different time in the country, but he blew up off it. I mean, he's selling, he's selling like crazy, you know.

I thought Hassan did it after the last year. Yeah, he was. Oh, did he do it last year? Oh, okay, well then, yeah, maybe I'm completely wrong. Yeah, I thought, I thought Hassan was more diplomatic. I think it was a little more diplomatic. He had some crazy stuff. I think he did go after it, but I think it was a little more diplomatic. He had some crazy stuff. I think he he did go after it, but I think Michelle

Michelle said fuck it. She dropped the mic after that. Yeah, she said fuck it. I mean really bad. Yeah That shit. By the way, can people stop saying drop mic on Twitter? That's another one that's fucking annoys me or to keyboard You're not dropping a mic. It's it's irritating to me. I have a mic. I have a mic that I dropped Yeah, thank God the other day tweeted I tweeted Sam smells drop mic I hope everybody listens to show says I love you on the white kid WG drop mic Somebody actually comes up with a fucking emoji it comes out of your mouth the microphone that you're having your mouth Okay, so we're gonna wrap this up I've never had a comic end the show on a fucking joke, but

Listen you guys are the best thanks for coming on. Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us I'm so glad you we were gonna have you and Beth on but Beth had a cancel. I wonder why? No, no, stop it. So we'll hope I want hopefully reschedule Beth and then Mackey when you shut up I was so happy because last time you were on you were kind of putting a pickle you I was in a dilly of a pickle there with Kevin Brennan and a porn star I think pickle is enough. I didn't know you have that deal. I felt like I was like I felt like it was it was a it was an episode of Jerry Springer and I was Steve the The bald guy who pretended to keep the peace. I wouldn't I be that guy

Wouldn't you just be an audience member who's came with somebody? I was trying to elevate my position in the podcast I thought you're already Elvis 1965 Elevated enough, I think I like that Joe couldn't get bullied on that episode. No could not Mm-hmm strong-willed. Yeah, you really are not this guy really You seem weak, but you're not I seem weak. He's got fun boys strength. I seem weak, and I am weak No, but you're not you really he's got a bench press in his apartment. You do. Yeah, wait wait. We all I'll flex my I'll flex my pecs That was disturbing. I think it's you.

I don't want to figure that. Do it again. Yeah, you already have the dancing. Over time. I'll do the dancing. You can make one of that. Just do the tip thing. No, I'm not going to do the tip thing.

I don't want that, I don't want to, every time I go on the internet now, it'll be a picture of my muscular chest. And I'm sorry, girls. You do a side thing. I'm just doing it. Nope, I won my muscular chest and I'm sorry girls I'm just a no nope. I won't be bullied. I won't be bullied. I have to urinate He really is the worst Alright well Joe, thank you so much for coming on again. You got you're always fucking blast when I have you You're one of the sweetest guys in now and you're one of the funniest guys out there So let's go to your website and see where you're gonna be. Why are you a skinny in that photo? Yeah, I was 154 pounds

I am two sixteen, but I'm dropping. I'm dropping. I'm losing the weight. I like you with a little weight on you A lot a lot of people do this more mean to hate We're gonna be in Austin, Texas at where cap city on playing the club for the first time Great club man great my favorites really how's the hotel? I don't remember but the club is great It's all the end but it's not it's not bad um and They people come out in Austin they come out legit that's a legit comedy city. Yeah, all right cool I'm doing I think I'm doing Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Yeah, your next month.

I believe so. And I'm excited to do it. I've never done it. And I love Austin. I love the town. So hopefully it'll be fun. Then you're in Tampa at Side Split and Side Splitters. I love my mom.

I'm a Jew. One of my favorite, hey, let me tell you something. You come to my Joe Maggie, those kids fucking crazy. That's good. Oh, I wear a hat. Did I tell you what Bobby did? I was there with a Vowel Sanchez, he's really funny, and we're working together there. And, uh, and, you know, Vowel's of this crazy life. He's like, you know, illegal immigrant served in Iraq. And Bobby just,

Bobby's always insults to him or just calling him a native American. Like he's from Mexico, dude. He just gives you, like, you fucking native American. He's like what tribe are you in what are you in the poke? What tribe you and rule just takes a sip of his beer and he goes airborne infantry. What about you? And Bobby just take you guys well played Bobby's old school he likes it He likes when you give him back to me Bobby's old me. Bobby's old school. Some people don't like him I've always liked him and he's one of the club owners. Let me tell you something one of the I I said this this morning All the clubs I play now I like the people I enjoy the club owners and the people and the staff

I don't play clubs anymore. Thank God that I don't like that just give me anxiety I don't have to and and that's one of the clubs that he went, when he first saw me, he's like, I'm gonna bring you here twice a year, I'm gonna bet a fan base around you. Mike Calta, one of my best friends. I'm gonna show you the best, yeah. Oh God, do I wish he was in New York City,

but I'd love to just do his show all the time. One of the best in the business too. Love Mike, do a match show, I'm doing the Calta Cruz this year. Then I'm going, I'm going, I think my family's coming with doing bush gardens. And then I'm doing sides, put it this year, great club. So you're there, the 10th, 11th and 12th,

then Tacoma, another great club. You're doing Spokane on a Wednesday. One of the best green rooms in all of comedy. They got like candy and NBA jam and then it says, Cubs is a great green room. Never done Cubs. I love that club. Molly's great.

And then they do. They don't even ever book you, Samuel. Probably never get down. Here's the thing with Ticaba. I had such a great time there. And Joe just ran into this too, I believe. The fucking thing, you have to bring merch. You have to bring merch for the middle guy

is gonna make $13,000. Right, because they give away tickets with, it's a good merch. This guy made so much fucking money in front of me. I was like, all right guy, this is a little fucking disrespected. I don't have merch anymore, I need something to say. I'm gonna get fuck, I'm literally gonna go and find rocks on the beach. We should make keeping Joe T-shirts.

And I'm gonna sign the rocks. We should sell those on the road, some keeping Joe shirts. Did you try to sell one at one of Jeff Melanie's Joe Lavender's own shit Even delivered a joke he's laughing his own punchline and my mic and Gabby Dine I didn't hear because you guys were both stepping on my rock joke that I was I go I'm gonna get rock sign them and make them call them paperweights and sell them at the end of the show and you guys wouldn't even hear it.

I liked it, I think. Halfway through, halfway through, I was like thank God, my paperweight joke didn't get through. I'll take one of those rocks. Decoma's a great club though, people are great. I love it. Albany's great, Tommy, right? Albany funny bone. Oh shit.

Yeah. I'm playing there too Anyways, you're playing all the rooms. I'm playing we work a lot of the same stuff. I just make more money Way less shows Way more merch. Oh, I yeah, I didn't update this. Yeah, I got a what do I have coming up? I'm at the Sacramento punchline coming up cluster fest in San Francisco. It's like the new festival in San Fran. It's supposed to be awesome. That's in June. I'm at Macubie's.

Yeah, Macubie's in Baltimore in June as well. I'm trying to think. Oh, good. You keep seeing you're up there, Mahoney's. Yeah, that's the laugh it up laugh it up laugh it up. Yeah, I got up there. I just got to get my thing. I really do do it.

I mean, this thing is just on every what is that upcoming shows too. I know I got it. I got up. I like that your face is covered by a lot of the show. Yeah, what's up with the symbols? What? Do you play an instrument? What's symbols? Go back. It just goes. That's a good picture of you. Right there. What is all that? That was a that was on the show House Party on

Comedy Central. Okay. They try to do a weird set. Yeah, you got to fix this. Why is it covering your face? I don't know, but Mackie likes it. I got to update that. Yeah, so punch line, I'm trying to think what else I got coming up. Oh, hyenas and Dallas, a lot of fun rooms coming up. And make sure you listen to their podcast. Keeping Joe, it's on Ryecast.

It is one of my favorite shows. They're fucking hilarious. They're the ones that come up here and drink. They're the only show that gets fucking blasted here. I mean, I used to drink, people used to drink on my show, believe it or not. That's where we got the fridge. The first, one of the first episodes with Dan Anjo,

they drank a case, by themselves. And now they're both sober. Now they're both sober, and you guys took over the mantle of how I'm hiding. No, and inside for us, we're fucking going hard, Mackie. Well, there's an end to Sam's comedy career. And it's just me. It's just end to it's like Sam's company career Just me Funny anymore. Yeah, we read any the quotes that you have on your website. I want to see what horseshit

Morales jokes arise from his humiliation sure a lot of comedy does pieces especially adept in it Well, you've been humiliated a lot. You have quotes from yourself. The second one's a joke. Are you still doing comedy in hand? You can't mock me when I'm ready to be himself deprecating your fucking hack. No, I can still mock you. Yeah, we're here.

He's still there. That's true. All right, what do I got? Go to patreon.com slash robbercali. We're shooting new episodes from live from the shed next week I will reveal the guests next week we got and Ron Bennington is in April. I think next month. So the end of this month May 13th. It's coming out. We're very excited about that. I got a bunch and a new one on one with cipher sounds going up there I got another one with Rocky, Rocky, Dale, Davis. I got a few more one on ones going up there. Very interesting ones too. Very,

very interesting stories with these guys. So make sure you go there. My dates, I'm going to be everywhere. I have a, I'm literally touring until January. So please go to robbercallylive.com. This weekend, if you listen in live, bananas, hasbrook heights, get your tickets now, tree house comedy and West port, Charlie Goodnights, fat black pushing cat. I'm doing June 1st, a Westbury theater with Rich Foss. Then I'm going to McCurdy's. I'm at just for laughs. I'm hosting the nasty show this year. Wow, that's a good game. Very excited about that. That one. It's up there. I forget who who's on the nasty show with me. Oh

How many close to me miss Pat? Oh nice bring it up. I'm trying to tell you he's tried He goes Brad Williams and that's it. That's all I had Yeah, bring it up It's miss Pat. Do you know his pat? Yeah, she's funny. Is she funny? Yeah, I never I think I might have met her once But I really say that she's fucking hilarious. She, I remember it was on the last comic standing with her and she got like, oh. Sorry, go what?

She what? Oh, look at that. It's full of Nicky. Nicky's gonna murder. Mike Britt. Mike Britt. Mike Britt. You get Brad's gonna fucking murder.

I'm gonna host. And then Derek, who's that? I don't know, he's probably Canadian guy, right? Is that guy? I don't know. I's probably Canadian guy, right? Is that guy? I don't know. English. I thought it was DC Benny for a second, but no, it isn't. Well, it looks like Paul Versey, if he grew his hair back

a little bit, right? I don't know, I didn't say that to be funny. But whatever. Mike Britt, I've never seen him smile. So first time I've ever seen Mike smile. I can't wait to do that. So get tickets now. Go to Comedy.

It's a ha ha ha. Calm. Ha ha ha. Calm. Hit the nasty show. Buy your tickets now. If you live in America, fly the fuck up, drive up. Go to the show.

It's one of the funniest shows you'll ever go to. Get your little laminate and go to all the shows. Ha ha ha. That's also a dumb website name in French. Damn it. Yeah. Matthew, you think I'm gonna laugh you shit on the Montreal comedy festival?

Yeah. Who the fuck was it to do that? Let's pile on the biggest festival in comedy. Gabby, what do you got? Albion, bars and basements, all over New York and Brooklyn. Mushy and I are battling tonight, our roast battle. Whoa. Yeah. Where's that at? At the tonight, our Rose Battle. Whoa. Yeah.

Where's that at? At the stand, at 1030 tonight. Yep. Is that why you died your facial hair? No. Oh. Did you? I didn't die my facial hair.

Why do you say that? Are you sure? What do you just make up things about me? I'm going to rip him apart. It's going to be great. I have a feeling that Gabby is going to rip, is literally going to rip Mike's head off and shit down his throat tonight.

Talk about his wide face. Yeah. Are my dyed facial hair. Wait, what? I don't know why you said that. That'd be a great reaction to a roast. Be like, what? Don't say that.

That's what everyone does now. It's so annoying. That's not true. Like shut the fuck up and just take the joke. Whatever. It's so weird when they do that. I say that about fucking new comics all the time. They don't know how to take a hit. Yeah.

Like just if it's funny, just laugh at it. They want me and Mackie to roast battle on Comedy Central, but that's like not our thing, you know. It's not my thing either. Yeah. I'll roast somebody I love. Yeah. I roasted Vos. I barely like him. But that's it. I don't roast people I don't like. They tried to get me to roast. You know, remember Ralphie Mays one,

uh, that was on that season. When he, when he took a hot one from, uh, Mike Lawrence, Mike Lawrence, some of those lines were fucking brutal. Yeah, I, I'm not fucking first. I don't have time in my life to write. But Ralphie was like responding in a ways where he'd be like, he'd be like, he's like,

yeah, go fat jokes. I'm like, what do you think he's gonna say? Well because Ralphie thought he could just wing it. He pulled the Keith Robinson. Yeah, I'm funny motherfucker What and it doesn't work. That's like when Keith tried to wing the Patrice roast right and he took a lot of Leonard did it on roast battle with Norman And like Norman would make a joke about him being fan letter would be like. He's like yeah, whatever You got a have a joke. Yeah, you gotta have a joke. I mean, when are super funny if you got a joke?

Yeah, you can't just go in with your wit and stage presence. None of us are Oscar Wilde. You gotta wear the fucking joke. I could. I really wanna roast Mac and E. I won't write a word. Your roast kinda writes itself.

I mean, with that face? Wow, you bombing has actually turned into funny. It's literally went all the way over. That's how usually works out for me. You take us to a new dimension. You're really like Thanos with the dog. If you bomb long enough, it's funny that you're bombing.

And they're laughing, so what difference does it make? Did you see Infinity Wars, by the way? I want to say it. No, I did. It's not good. It's great. Everyone loves it that I've talked to. I went with the Keith Slash Dante night,

slash all-black comedians. I got that invite, but I want it to go. It's great. Well, the nerds all went in Brooklyn. I guess Fitzsimmons and all the nerds went in Brooklyn. And Mike Lawrence, I guess Mike Lawrence brought all his figurines and held them. I went with Keith, who glasses a line in and a fucking pretzel

bite. Slower, slower. I gotta keep nudging this fuck all up. This old coach just to wake up Yeah, it was a fucking it was so funny. Yamanik was laughing at the mo God and Yamanik was laughing at a part where you're not supposed to laugh and someone was like shut up And then one of the other comics every which one was I think was my mom was like make me whoa And you heard silence nice and then black Panther came out and I booed him

I was like boo It was Monroe I was sitting next to fucking Linda Marina Monroe Keith. I was surrounded by all black comedians. No, nobody's fucker with it. But yeah, I was actually I loved it. I loved it. I want to see I want to you. That's when you got to see in the movie theater too. You can't wait. I feel like you can't wait because it's terrible script. All right. Let's go. Mikey, what do you have this weekend? I'll be in three random cities in Texas doing shitty one-nighters. Next week I'll be at Lafayette. What rent people don't go to those shows, we're gonna be terrible.

There are bar shows and so well nowhere and that's not where I do my real set. It's just doing crowd work to drunk people. Mike, just lie. No. What, what? Just be like I'm doing fantastic shows. I'm a star. You should be there. Not in Tyler, Texas. That's the pep talk you go'm a star. You should be there. Uh, eh, not in Tyler Texas. Um, that's the pep duck. You go from a mom. But next week, we're gonna be at Lafayette, Lads, Antony, with Big

J.O.K.R.S. and all I like that club. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're last year. That's right. That's fun. I'll be, uh, with, uh, Jared Fried there in, uh, August, and I'll be headlining in August that they improv downtown. Awesome. That's great. Antony. I tonight, fucking Rose Battle.

That's huge. When does this come out? This comes out for if you're a Patreon slash Robert Kelly member, a member of my channel, it comes out tomorrow night. Yeah, if you're watching live or roast battle tonight, if you're watching Sunday, then it's too much. Yeah, but this video, the video will be on the internet. Find it and we'll be talking about it next year. You do my fat face. Absolutely. Have some fucking confidence. All right, I have a fat face. I have confidence in my fat face.

I've got me this more. You guys are the best fans in the world. I thank you for listening to this podcast every week. Thank you for coming to all my live shows and coming up to me after the show. And saying you're a fan of this podcast. Thanks for joining the premium channel there on Patreon. All you guys who have joined that in the last month or two, fantastic.

I hope you enjoyed it. If you have anything suggestions, people you want on the show, blah, blah, blah, please email me at ykwd at riotcast.com. If you want to be on the show and you're a comic or a YKW producer at riotcast.com. If you want to be in the studio, we've got a bunch of emails today about people who want to come in. You guys can definitely come in just YKWD producer.com. And if you want to mail anything to us, if you want to sponsor this show, please YKWD at radcast.com or you want to mail, what's the address here? 117 McDougal Street. That's New York, New York. Yep. I don't know the zip code.

Well, can we get it real quick? Yes. I mean, we have nine computers in front of people that you could, I mean, I can't say it much slower than it's 117 McDougal Street, care of Robert Kelly, why can't you? 10012. 10012, if you want to mail anything to the studio We will put it up in the on the studio. We'll show it if you have anything you want to To give any of the people that are on the show that's it you guys are the best fans ever I was waiting for Joe to come back joke. Thanks coming on thanks for having thanks coming on

Gabby Mike Zach the best you guys see you next week. You know what? you guys see you next week. All the best podcasts on the internet, and they're all free, and they're all free.