Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - 1989

Episode Date: July 1, 2019

Ian Edwards, Keith Robinson and the Truth Joe List come on with Bobby for a fire YKWD! We talk word origins, inappropriate hospital behavior, plus get pimp lessons from Keith! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is going to be a clash to fire. It's podcast, it's no rules. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's no rules. It's not going to be a podcast.

It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not going to be a podcast. It's not fuck! That was trying to keep it like a comic-catch. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and yapping sometimes. It's hilarious, sometimes it's 10-no-topics, no directions.

I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin! That's how it all holds her. That's how it all holds her. That's how it all holds her. I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know.

Hi, man. Fucking back. We are, uh, we're here in the studios. You know what, dude, back. I fucking, you know what? I hate the subways. God damn it. I took the subway and I'm a, I'm just a fat mess. Just a hot, I forgot how thin you have to be

to take the subway's in New York. I took the subway from Ron Bennington's show. I ran to catch a train, which I should never do. There he is. There he is. Speaking of running. You're on the go, Larry. Well, well, well.

Well, well, well. Who could show it up? Look who showed up almost on time. What black top were you using? You got two black guys. I wanted to try to use a Harvard shit. I know what you're up to. I want to talk about. It's gonna need it. Listen, is there any way we could put one of these white girls in between them? I, I, I,

I, you gotta say it for a reason at all. Ah, someone, I just put the headphones on for God's sake. Okay, I got it. I'll take this. really takes longer. Did somebody help him or me went to fuck that? No, it's just more fun to watch. No, it's not. It's fucking. Or Mike, just go help him. No, fuck you. I want Mike out, Mike. Get help.

Get. Did you almost just broady your thing with your own laces? I understand. I was like, oh shit. Jesus Christ. What? What the fuck? What, bro?

I just heard the intro to the thing. This is the craziest podcast ever. I say one thing all of a sudden. Jesus. I'm a full appetizer. No, it's low as a good way. Oh, thank you, bro. I'm happy with your,

with your, Oh, that should have ordered. Is that my ice coffee? All right. That's the topic, man. Harvard. No, there's no topic dude. Oh, did you listen to the intro? We don't have topics I'm giving you a topic fucking Harvard I would like to talk about OJ seeing

Let's go through the room Mike. Who do we got tonight? We have Ian Edwards and Keith Robinson I'm very excited about one of these people Ian Edwards and Keith Robinson. I'm very excited about one of these people. Right. Um, let me guess. Ethan. How have I ever seen Ian in years?

I mean, can I just read something? Yeah, please. Hi, this is Gabby, the producer of YWKD. Let me just skip down. Okay. Uh, blah, blah, blah, blah. Sit, sit, sit, sit, uh, please no food in the studio or cell phones during the show.

I see somebody bringing up wine for Keith. There's like ice cream drinks all over the fucking place. I you can have liquids. I don't respect the rules of this podcast. Any longer. Fuck it. It's no. I know.

You get no rules. Dude, why who texts me this? Well, you can't have food because some we had a pizza party here once and somebody left the pizza under the table and it fucking. There was all kinds of bugs and shit. That's what happens during the pizza party. Yeah, well, we know more pizza parties. Wow, you said we, you were here.

It wasn't me. Are those the most? We? We was go man. That made me lose. We were in the room. Yeah. And you should have made sure everything was clear.

What am I supposed to do? Sweep. Yes. What? Fuck you. Sweepen. That's all. Can I get back to complimenting to sweep? Yes. But fuck you, sweeping asshole. Can I get back to complimenting my friend, who I haven't seen?

I got upset when you were doing it. Well, excuse me, I'm very happy, because we started comedy back at the Boston. I mean, we were doing comedy. He was doing comedy before you got here, Jackass. I said, we, when I, when me and him met, I'm gonna talk about the history of fucking being. We doing comedy. He was doing comedy before you got here, Jackass. I said, we, when I, when me and him met, I'm not talking about the history of fucking in. We started comedy.

Yeah, we started comedy together over there. You just keep it, you look comedy. I'm from Boston, I can't even remember. I got it. I got it. All right, I got it. I got it. Well, I remember, we were, I mean, every single night

we'd be at the boss to wait and to get on to do fucking 10 minutes in front of nobody. Yeah. I mean, nobody. And then the people that would it, it was so hard core. You have to like bring it so hard. Like, it was just like, you had to just figure it out up there. They were so fucking ruthless. Yeah.

Remember when Dane Cook had that bit with a lady brought a bag of groceries in? They got somebody, they would just suck people off the street. Remember what's his name? What's the guy's name? It was a Lewis. Yeah, not gay Miranda no, not for random. That's the actual guy That's the guy that was actually gay that database my bad. No, he's not daddy runs the Got it runs Caroline's Sweet guy still alive. He's only Jesus Jesus Christ. I'd mix up my voices. There's no rules, but there's some rules. I mean, you just fucking say people are dying of air.

He's just not my fault, man. I shouldn't have sent me that text. He's not my fault, man. I shouldn't have sent me that text. He's not my fault. He's not my fault. He's not my fault. He's not my fault.

He's not my fault. He's not my fault. He's not my fault. He's not my fault. He's not my fault. He's not my fault. He's not my fault. He's not my fault. He's not my fault. He's not my fault. He's not my fault. and angry, the front row would be angry that somebody got them to get in there. Like he would just suck people in light of them, get them in the front row, see them,

and then just go back out to get more people. Well, that's when you got there. I was there in like 90, 91. Yeah, I'm not talking about the history of comedy. I'm just sorry you trying to tell you what Boston was all about. Listen, before you got there. We're not talking about comedy. Before you came from Boston, go to the Boston comedy club.

We're packing a place out. Everything was good. No, you weren't. No, you weren't. And 90, 91. I'm talking about regular nights, not Sunday night, black night. No, no, black, black night. We had some pack nights, though.

You were when you were a guy. Our Friday and Saturdays would be packed up. But Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, forget about it. I remember like performing in front of two people on a Tuesday. I remember being in for some reason it didn't matter. No. Like for some reason, it was a guy I'm next. Okay, cool. Yeah. Like if I took the if I was home all day doing nothing and all I had to do was my set at the Boston once I drove in, found some parking without those tricky parking signals. Yeah. Yeah. Yeahs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, saying, and then got there, I had to do what I got to do. You know, I'm saying two people, two people, three. Two or three people and comics. In the comics, we got bigger laughs in the hallway. Oh, yeah. That was the worst with your backstage and you heard here's somebody killing in the hallway.

So that was it. And then the crowd would look like the three people on the audience would look down the hallway, like maybe we should be over. It's going on over. It was funny at that. I want you to understand now. That was old in.

What are you talking about? We even went to dreadlocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And with the dreadlocks, there's differentness in it. Well, we had to lose the dreadlocks, I mean, this is different. What are you saying, Keith? I'm saying it's two different in. Well, you said that about Michael Jackson, too.

This is a black Mike and white Mike. So we're going with this. No, no, no. I don't like where you about Michael Jackson, too. I said this black Mike and white Mike. So we're going with this. No, no, no. I don't like where you're going this way. I'm going to continue. It's good. It's good. And back then, then all sort of clubs.

It was in, in the midst of everything, right? Really. That's true. That's true. Pull up a picture, Ian on Def Jam. Pulling that picture. You were in Def Jam? Yeah, Def Jam, yeah.

You did the Apollo? Now you'll see the Def Jam. How'd You were in deaf jam? Yeah, that's jam. Yeah. You do the Apollo. Now you'll see the deaf. How'd you do on the Apollo? They're good. They're good. How'd you do on the Apollo? I don't know.

Exactly. But I did do the Wednesday night at the Apollo. The intake just a real roar of Wednesday night at the Apollo when I was even before I got in at the Boston and I went up there. Yeah. And a friend of mine, he was doing it too. Yeah. And we're in the basement waiting. And whatever happens upstairs, you could feel downstairs because it's right beneath the

stage. Yeah. And then my homeboy Derek went up and man, when you could see it on the TV, but you could feel like the booze blew him off the stage. He just from the crowd. And then I was like next. Oh. So you feel like, oh, this is how Christians felt

back and wrong. So then I was next and I went up there and I was doing fine. And I did a joke that the people who run the Apollo considered offensive to the kids in the crowd who were booing every fucking body. And then the day gave, they, they kind of like told me to wrap it up ahead of time, but I was, they don't know.

I was just so happy not to get booed and to get off early. I don't know what would have happened one joke later. So I was like, all right. I'm out. So I just went downstairs without being deaf jam 94. No, no, no, that's not that's not Jeff. Jam. That's uh, that's recently you gotta get. He's missing the black shows up. Jesus. I know. Let's make fun of him though. There you mix black shows up. There you are right there. You had beautiful dreads.

Thank you, man. I forgot about your fucking dreads, and I remember they used to smell so good. Thank you, man. I still got them at home, too. I do wear them on Halloween. Sometimes I put them on a mood. Do you know who they're going to do auditions?

They're putting on a mood. Sometimes I need a Jamaican taco salad Man look at that come out let him come out Respect purple hang on what's that good? What are you saying? Am I am, am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I?

Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I?

Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? Am I, am I? would understand that they didn't grow with Jamaican people. But that's for the people that grew up with Jamaican people. Let me hear it. Big up, Bonnie, respect!

Big up! You don't need no big up, smaller! That's fun. He ain't even laughing at this dumbest fucking man either! Stop, stop. You see him carrying away? I Stop Stop stop you see him turn away And he was a guy I'm moving over here that guy's a big mother Stop I love about black crowds as you can ask for applause. You can be like, can't come on, motherfuckers applaud for me.

And they're like, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had, I had to get the momentum start going. I like to talk about my problems. Everybody hate your fucking bills. How many hate your bills? That's terrible. How do people when you get your bills and they're like, you know, you open a shit. They just take the envelope and throw it in the corner with the rest of the ship They actually did you see I build no easy shit? Cuz we open shit. I don't pay nothing. I don't pay shit. They cut all my shit off

The leg is cut off I just use a match Imagine those how like that I just use a match. What am I? I'm not really good at sound effects. No, it was funny. No matter what, he's funny. Yeah, dude, he was, that shirt is fucking awesome. Where's that outfit? They give you outfits backstage. What do you mean?

Like, like, Def Jam was that far from. So you show up? Yeah, you show it with just shit, Russell Severus. But put your, yeah, so you're advertising. I just want to just one second, because I know that you know, but I would just like to tell my friend Keith

who's done this show 19,000 times, we're on a podcast and usually the way you record a podcast is what microphones and the way you use a microphone is you're talking to it You lean into the microphone. I was leaning in Yeah, that that I don't know what that is laying in what is that yeah, but yeah, what are you and Ollie and his prime? Just stay in when you say something I'm right that's all I'm just staying when you say something I'm already that's all a slip. Oh shit he's drinking. He's got a couple swirls. Oh shit. Who brought the wine up? Did he ask for it? Oh Jesus you don't give him wine when he asks for it. Not only is there no food and drink but he's drinking wine. You have alcohol.

You have drink. We have alcohol. You want some alcohol? No, I would. If I thought about it, she asked me about wanting something to drink. I wasn't thinking, I see the Starbucks. What would you like? I take a green tea from Starbucks.

A green tea? Can we get a drink? Can I put some cinnamon in there? It's not going to be from Starbucks. It'll be from next day. Oh, yeah, yeah. All right, cool. Thanks.

No sugar, nothing. Now, this is the, this is this one thing I love about black crowds It was life for death and you had and for real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I used to I was in your head But it was for real too because when you bomb in front of a black crowd They have when you bomb in front of like a white crowd. They get mad at you for real It's like boo fuck you, but you bomb in front of a black crowd. They start to make, they love it. They start to make fun of you. They're laughing at you. And there's, you can't, you get mad. You start to get like fucked up. I remember bombing in

front of a black crowd. And they're just like, they start saying shit to you and people are yelling at you and they're, boo, get the fuck fuck you. You suck suck and you're like, you panic. It freaks you the fuck out. I used to panic like black clouds, like comedy crowds are trained period now. Right. But you could go in front of a black crowd back then, do 10 jokes in a row and kill on 10. Right. But if one of those jokes, the following that is a five, it's like elephant memory. Like, yeah, we don't remember the last 10 minutes. Yeah. Boo. Yeah. It's bad. It's like, damn, I just gave you, can I just, can I just have one mediocre joke in here? And there's something that happens physically to you. I remember I did a labat. You

remember labat? Yeah. They had a black show up there. I think Rob Stapleton ran it. Who Rob, you know, Rob was fucking funny. Yeah. Rob was just high energy. Yeah. And he would fucking smash it. And I had to go up and I was doing great. And then I did something that usually works so good and it fucking it didn't come out right like I fucked up on the wording because I got nervous and And they they just shut down. Yeah, and they were they started like looking at me. They started looking at each other like Fuck and I and I started just going faster and faster and louder and louder thinking that some type of energy was gonna get them back And it never did and I said and then I and then there's the weird thing I energy was gonna get them back and it never did. And I said, and then I, and then there's the weird thing I was like, all right, good night.

And then people just ignored me. Like, like I was cool shit when I came in. And then they were like, all right, man, be cool. They just, they were just waiting for me to leave to talk shit. Like just walk off stage. I don't know, I felt like they were just waiting for me to get the fuck out of this thing.

Oh, this fucking guy. What the fuck, what the fuck was that? So there it is. Yeah, there was nothing better than the no killing in front of the fucking time. What the fuck, what the fuck was that? So there it is. Yeah, there was nothing better than the killing in front of the Sunning. Like crowd, yeah. Dude, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was like superhero power killing in front of a black crowd.

Cause they, people run out of the room. Yeah. Like people go what the, and then leave the room. And then they come back, you like, was that, is that good or bad? I don't know, did I make, I don't know what that was. I don't think I did I make, I don't know what that was. I don't think that it's showing the Amsterdam. Oh, and yeah, it's a black crowd at Amsterdam. And I probably went on before me.

It's, I think you did a guest set or something like that. Well, no, the girl was supposed to, it's called the bounce. I know this is named really giga, or yeah, whatever. It's all black show. The girl who was supposed to come last minute didn't didn't have her passport right. You know, last minute fuck up, right? She couldn't make it. So they would come with a Keith and Patrice and he was like, we need a black. Who can I fly out here? Who can I, and they're like, just use dummy and they kept looking at me like No, I don't I'm not using that

Fucking I need a black they're like just use stupid. He'll do it because they know I do sunny nights, right? and He they finally they got him to do it. I was like I'm too stupid to the fucking know anything You know, I'm just doing time, right? And I went out and God damn it that I have the set of my life. They were chanting my name. Damn. I remember being chased. Stupid Keith was a shadowbunk. This one of fuckers on stage, Ripman. I had to close the roof. So you gotta get to. And I'm like, Oh shit. Why he was fat, that was dead. It was a sexy Bobby sexy Bob.

Except what's shown his abs and all that. I was fucking everything on stage. That's the night when I had that was night. What I had the fucking I bought I bought a shit. I bought a black polyester shirt with black polyester pants. Oh, shit, but they were they were bell bottoms. I didn't know they'll bell bottoms. So like put them on. Well, I came out of the hotel. Look like I was wearing an evening gown. Look like a nun.

I just remember Keith. Keith had been trees. I could hear them. The windows were up in the van. Just like trees go, what? Bobby's wearing a dress. Dude, that was fuck. I remember that night though. I fucking murdered him. I was going Bobby Bob Chris lead the chant No That's a good job for you over the way Push key down the way

How do you do where do you do following all that thunderstorm? Bobby, he did. He pulled out. He was fucking screaming. Man, I'm burning. Money and bank money. What's the problem?

Oh, remember that shit? That was fun. I had to follow Drew Frazier. I had those things. I had those pants on. So that's hilarious. Nice hips, Bobby. Yeah. That was fun. I had to follow Drew Frazier. I had those things. I had those pants on.

So that's hilarious. Nice hips, Bobby. You know the fall who Drew Frazier. He was just murdering. And then I had to like rewrite my set list five times to set it up to follow him. And I had to like tell myself how great of a comic I am. So just because each punchline he was landing out there was psyching me out back there. So I like I had to build my whole self-esteem back up. I didn't even went good,

but the things you have to do as a comic when you get in your head, just to get, sometimes you have to literally just walk your way back out of your head. You have to, I think that even in like bad situation, that's why like black audiences, like people are trying to not just to stand up, they're trying to fucking break the room down. They're trying to kill.

Yeah, they're trying to become, we felt like black comics like back then like it's like every set is like this is a set where I'm going to become a star. Yeah. So I'm going to like like somebody's going to see me tonight. I don't know why they would be in the Bronx basement of this barbeque shack or wherever we're at. But I think it was more for the girls. The girls, you know, they come dressed up. You know, the girls are there looking spectacular. And you know what, I'm from all those girls. That's true.

You want to do some work. Yeah, you want to get off stage and not have to like, like work to get a number. Yeah, you want the number. This is, this is my application to get your phone number. Yeah, this set right here. Yeah, if I do, go ahead. I'm a, you know, you know what? Oh, man, you look has taken me to going. Absolutely. I met some girls over there. Yeah, you meet the girls and you want to do well because you can't talk to a girl to a fresh bomb. You know, imagine, you know, a dandy, because it's usually a dance situation after that.

You bomb down your on the floor dancing. No, I don't work. That was a weird thing too. I learned that too. Like there was always a dance thing. Yeah, I have to play. There was always an after party. I remember being at the, when we did the bounce, I remember dancing with Patreasing you.

And I was just like, okay, like, yes we dance. And Boston we got pizza, but I guess, I guess we dance. I remember dancing. And we all did good. So y'all had everybody had somebody. It gives you a chance to meet people afterwards from the show, because it's a theater.

So you can't really, unless you stand at the door and block it. That's up y'all. I was on stage. I remember hanging out. I met this black girl in front of the boss in one night. She was in a sundress. And that's the night I learned because I guess it's a Jesus Christ. How many black girls you just met one black girl, but you remember everything.

She was in a sun dress. I just meant because I remember he remembered it. He remembered it like somebody telling an old war story like his eyes drifted off to the memory of her. I remember I met this one black girl in a sun dress. I remember that I learned that night that you can't, like I had a lot of, I did a lot of white girls because I went to grab her hair. We were making up and then I went fucking you. And she went yo, yo, yo, yo.

I was like, what the hell did you hurt? This cost a thousand dollars. I love a lot of guys. I'm still there. I was like, she goes, you never, you never grab a black girl's hair. I was like, oh, because I didn't, I didn't even, you know, I you never grab a black girl's hair. I was like oh Because I didn't I didn't need you know, I didn't know that they got their hair done Yeah, I didn't I was like that's your hair. I didn't know it's you know, it's a weave

I didn't even fucking know about a weave. I was just about to pull it out Because I'm doing some fucking redneck white boy fucking boss and you fucking like that Oh, fuck us, you know Did I kill her? Is it here? What's going on? Yeah, I remember those nights, there was so fucking fun. I just remember when you finished doing that room, when you, when you do a black room

and you kill, you feel like a God for days. You feel like you're just a better comic. You just felt, I'm, I'm as funny as any motherfucker out there. And any situation on the road, colleges, not of it affected you after you did that. That's the thing that white guys always had to manage them. They never had to, they didn't have to do black clubs to make it. Right. I always had to do a black club and a white club.

Right. Black club and a white club, right? Black club and a white club. Right. And there's a lot of guys who've never done black clubs because they didn't have to. I don't think they could have though. Yeah, but I don't think a lot of guys back then, dude. We mean me and Burr, we used to call them leaners. They were just lean and tell their jokes. You know what I mean? Like, you know, even on a Saturday night, it's like, dude, you got to, you have pick up, you got to believe in this. Give them a little bit and give them a little something. Yeah.

You know, Well, that was the whole thing. It's like how many, you know, comics now that that would even do anything if they had to do black clubs. So, right. They have black clubs, what they expose a lot of shit. Black, black crowds crowds price check. What do you mean?

Not worth it. They what? Price check. Price check. Make sure your shit is real. What? Shit, I wish I, you guys both like, yeah, yeah, I'm like, I wish I do that. So I'm like, no, you wouldn't have called me out.

Yeah, that's right. They price check. You know, I was texting early. It's like, you know, you do 10 jokes in a row. You kill. Yeah. But the other one. Yeah. Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah. So this ain't this what this ain't what this ain't this ain't the cost. This is this is your sound effects are getting better. Thank you. That boo boo performance. I'm an evolving man. And then my tea's here too. Oh, this is amazing. Uh, nothing feels worse than bombing in a black I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm like so I'm killing here. So I'm like I got this. So I started going on a road to wheel on them. And we went just to Philly to do temple university and this big ass auditorium. And then I do my first joke that normally kills in New York. It's a Jamaican joke. There is no Jamaicans in Philly that go to temple. Wow. So the joke that usually like that go to temple. Wow. So the joke that usually like, it's just an auditorium of people staring at me. Right. And then I'm like, I go to my next joke. It's another Jamaican joke. There's still no Jamaican people in Philly. And then they're just like staring at me. I made it to probably the third joke before the whole auditorium just boot me.

And then what's his name? The black guy, the host, he used to host like talent. No, he was a little older than us. Sleepy, I told kind of like a you charge, right? Ah, man, see I can't remember his name, but he saw he, oh, if you bombed, you don't care if he rode up in the car with you. Yeah. That motherfucker's making fun of you on top of the bomb.

Oh, yeah. So then, so then he, he bills the momentum back up off your failure. And then brings the next comic up. But I remember that night, there was an after party. I'm like, I'm not going to know after party. So I'm the only comic in my room. And everybody is out partying. But Dumb and Dumb and Dumb came on that night.

I've never seen it before. It's the funniest night of my life. I remember I did a black college with Patrice. I think it was Patrice and Godfrey during my act. I don't know what happened. You know, the stomp groups at the black colleges with it. You know, you can hear from a distance. I mean, I'm literally, I'm doing mediocre.

I'm trying to I'm doing mediocre. I'm trying for trying to change. I know they're doing some stuff. Hey, the step guy. What the fuck? What are you doing? I'm having those terrible when you do. Yeah, that's pretty racist when you do it. Do it again. Do it again. What the bucket? He'll do it. Do it again. No and yeah, man, they don't do that. That's what I remember.

The cute dogs. Well, I remember in the middle of my ad you can hear from a distance, I was I was starting to bomb and it was just like a look at him and like, uh, fuck me and then boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and then all of a sudden the door just kicked open.

It was dead quiet and then, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom quiet and then boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And they just fucking took over the place when Max and then they left. And I was still up there in 10 minutes left. And I was like, eh, scaring people's tough. They were gonna get scared. They were like, eh. And then they had this big party they were going to do after. And I was like, get fuck off.

There's no way I'm sitting there. Stupid Garvey kill, Patrice killed. I fucking, I took a hot one and I went back to my room. I sat down and I fucking Doritos by myself. That's my fucking third fat started. Third fat. Yeah, it is. But did they have black room that do they have black rooms now?

Yes. Where? All over the place. Yeah, it is. But did they have black room that do they have black rooms now? Yes, where? All over the place, but not like the Boston like that Yeah, they did it. They still don't know black rooms. Where where's a famous black room right now? I can go to have a man. They have a lady. I have a chocolate son. What about here? Uh, I don't know. So they don't. Yeah, they probably talk. Yeah, Mocha Monday's at Mocha lounge. Mocha Monday's at Mocha lounge. Smoky is a host of the show. Is it as big as Boston? Oh, what's here? So they don't have what they had used. Toulines, everybody has a black night. Yeah. I mean, I, I live in LA now. So I don't know,

but they used to be a ton of them. Used to go in the gold blues, Caroline's like one of the radio stations. There's a lot of them back in the lab. And we say hit them all. It's a big fun. Yeah. Yeah. In LA, they have them.

Chocolate Sundays and it's chocolate Sunday. Where is that? That's at the lab factory on Sunday nights. Shonduras, actually, like two or three shows. Two or three shows and sold out, right? Yeah. It's pretty crowded. Puppies have been going on for like almost 20 years now.

I think I did chocolate Sunday. Yeah. Yeah, it was a funny cookie. Pookie's the cookie runs it. I think I did that once. Yeah. Yeah. And you still do it?

No, I haven't done it in a minute. Why is that? I don't know. I just do what's easy for me. Like, I just, I'm a bookt at the comedy store. Right. I put in my veils and I go there. There's a black club called Comedy Union. And then I like the owner, but he's kind of a jerk to the comics.

So I don't go there because of that. Like one time I went there and just to hang. And then some comic didn't show up. The one who was gonna go last, it was Esau. So then he said, Ian, could you go up? I went up. So I have to was, I'm like, can I get the money? He said, no, that was a guest spot. I have to scold your show. Yeah.

I'm like, ah, fuck it. It is a funny thing, because I remember we used to go up everywhere all night long as many places we could go up. And now it is kind of like, you know, for me and you, at least for me, I don't know about you, but I, I give you my veils at the seller. I, they give me the veils, I come in, I do them. And then I'm done and I don't even do like Mondays or fucking Wednesdays or third. Like if I'm in town, I'm doing Fridays and Saturdays.

Right. And I just, I like doing it. I love doing comedy. So I'm, you know, that's calling me my thing forever. You still, you love it just as much more same. Have you gone to Robin Brown? Yeah. No, no, nothing.

I did one time and I moved L.A. I just didn't go on for like three, four months and he said, you should go on, my ass. Shut up, beat it, Ed. Then I found one of them. You told this guy to shut up and beat it. Yeah. Okay. I was just wondering because he's right here. Yeah. I remember that. Okay. I also know how it feels. Like when I come to New York, he has to talk me into going on. What is that? I don't know. Do you ever felt that where you go?

I go to LA and I don't want to go on. You don't want to go on. Like, I don't know if it's some type of fear or something. I don't know. It's got to be a fear. Yeah. Yeah. But it says, but I learned from that experience

because I was off for like four months that I went on. My superpowers is gone. Yeah, yeah. I could do nothing. My mojo was just completely gone. And I was like, I was on stage at chocolate sundae. Oh shit. Oh shit. I actually said, oh shit. And you know, you said, oh shit shit, because I knew I was in trouble. Yeah, man. I was a funny. It was just going.

I'm like, oh my god. And you know, have you ever going to be funny again? I've never do that now. I felt that Saturday night on the fifth show. I was like, what the fuck? I was like, what am I doing? Like, what the fuck? Fuck me.

Hey, hey, too many shows could also take away Fuck me, hey. Hey. Too many shows could also take away your power too. Yeah. Too many shows in the night does fuck with your mojo a little bit. Where you're like, fuck, I, the first show you like, let's fucking this. It's like, I got to, I got to fuck again. Yeah. This is not going to be like, I got to, I got to bust the two nuts.

Like, this is going to be a week one. Yeah. I'm just going to be like, I'm going to be like, you know, when we first busted early on. It takes your module, man. It does. It does.

I remember I used to host more than one show at the seller and by the third show I'd be hosting. I remember I used to do the same joke over and over again because you forget, I forgot, fuck it, and you used to do the same joke over and over again, because you forget I forgot fucking you had to pull the trigger on the fly. You're like, I'd love a lot of them. Just staring at you.

And you're like, did I do that one? Yeah. Hi, well, there you go. But you fucking made it better. What are you going to do? Yeah, you have a, you never hosted, right? Like I had a show in Long Island, I used to host that. In Long Island?

Yeah, yeah. Is that where you lived? Yeah, that's where I lived, yeah. I didn't show in Long Island. I used to host that in like Island. Yeah. Yeah. Is that where you lived? Yeah, that's where I lived. Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. So I had a room out there, but then the same audience has come and But they it's funny. Sometimes it's just like it's just Hosted is just so long like like I wouldn't want to host a cello. Yeah, you know what I mean? Now it's not as bad back when when we did it, it was nine. It was a shorter. It was nine to two. Okay.

Now they do like three or four shows a night. Okay. So they split it the fuck up. Nine and up at four or five in the morning. If your pal stopped through, the sun be coming up. You sat there sleeping chair. I used to have to like God freeze money on fire.

I swear to God. I used to hold it up in the match. It was going to be 3.30. I'd be like, do you, I gave him the like seven times. You're like, oh, you need to look up like, oh, I got to go. Yeah, you got to go now. He's like, this fucking, I'm loving this 20 you need. Like your boss fear on fire.

Yeah, I remember hosting fucking soul late. And then you, and nobody's around. It's just you in the last two comics Trying to fuck it and this Trying to look for some stragglers try to look at some girl to talk to Usually there's nobody there You'd wind up walking around this fucking area, and then you yeah, I'm out and you wind up talking for another 30 minutes I'll front about some bullshit. This is the hardest place to leave.

Like back then back then. It's tough, man. Like I just remember the birds chirping every time we, but the sun's coming up and the birds are waking up. Yeah. And I was going home all the way up to 97th Street. I remember just getting home, sleeping all fucking day. Yeah. Sleepin' till three. Just fuckin' waitin' not feelin' guilty whatsoever. Oh. Just sleep till three, wake up, coffee, maybe an egg sandwich, read the paper. Remember the paper? Remember reading

a fuckin' paper? What's that? I mean, I would sit on my stoop and just flip through these fuckin' stoop and get the these fucking stupid get the it was hot. So you get the ink on your thumbs and then go back in and just turn on Sony PlayStation, play Tekken for fucking three hours. No guilt. We used to go back to my house on 97th Street. Me, you burp, at least, Norton, everybody would go back and play Tekken. I like two in the morning and play. Remember that shit we talked shit. He was the worst. All right, fucking be playing him.

He just be fucking fucker with yourself a steam throughout the wrong kick and ass stupid boom kick in the face. K.O. Give you a tiger fucking. That was good. That was a good that was a good game. You were good at it. Keep.

Yeah, I was pretty good at that. He was good at it. Football. Football. Football. Football were good at it, Keith. Yeah, I was pretty good at that. Of course he was good at it. So I'm gonna hit the ball. Play football. I'm gonna hit the ball. I never played that shit. I love teasing the trees. That was my favorite with T's.

He's football. He's on everything. Chess, with all of them. I'm gonna hit the ball. You've been treated to be a kid who played chess where you'd get, you'd really be mad at him. Oh, for real? He said, should've bought your mom just about it

before he checked met you. He'd make you lose because he'd be talking shit. Getting your head up. I'm gonna fuck you. I'm gonna, my king's gonna fucking queen. Out of dick queen, I would say what kind of panties. Yeah. It's fucking queen now.

It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. the more fucking fair. That's that Floyd Michael. Yeah, that's prison. Yeah, he's playing prison.

Well, he's trying to learn the game and he's talking about my fucking girlfriend. Who's gonna fuck my queen and get you to move your palm the wrong way. And then we used to roll dice to remember dice. There it is. And we played dice, kept one all my money one time.

That clock socket came down one night. He is lucky. We knew he was just gonna fucking, the luck was in his car. All right, yeah. He came down one night, dummy. Oh, he's such a shit gambler. He put down a hundred with little Kev, Kevro's,

Kevro's seven, seven times. On the, remember that? He lost all his, took all my money. All the money from the weekend You know, you know that cash Nice look We all had that rich right on Saturday night you have a lot of 50s and hundreds of one at all and he came down

Rolled it boom, but he was calling he was like out here's your money again boom And he's slap his hand and take his hundreds and he was like one more one more He put 300 one more one more one more, one more, one more. And he just took it off and then he walked the fuck out. I have to laugh with all my dough. That actually hurt, but I got him back for years later. He came to the ONA. He walked in, he was rich as shit.

And he looked at me, he was, what the fuck happened to Bobby? He took out a thousand, he goes, Bobby, you need this. And I took it and left. I nearly left you. I just walked out of the show and went home. Right? My wife was like, what's wrong? I'm like, fuck it.

And I go, put this in the fucking drawer. Yeah. Where'd you get that? Fucking don't ask. It'll take that shit. So you have a new hour coming out. Yeah. What's it called? Ian new hour coming out. Yeah. What's it called?

Ian talk. Ian talk. Yeah. And now who'd you put it out with? Who did it? How'd you do it? How'd you come up with it? Did it through all things comedy? That's Bill Burr presents. Get some lyrics. No, that's great, man. Yeah. You know what I love about those guys that doing a lot of a lot of comedians. Yeah, which they did Verses. They did Jessica Kirsten's. Right. Kirsten. Does that even say Kirsten?

Yeah. And that's great. Where they shoot it? What'd you shoot it? Shot it in the law and beach in LA. What we're in a lot of theater. Yeah, Beverly on the theater. Is it what you wanted, right?

Yeah, exactly what I want. Yeah. That's what they do what you want. Yeah, they do what you want. Right. Because I was going to shoot it myself. Right. And not in such a nice place. Where I was looking around. I was looking at like these theaters or some type of club and try to come up with the design of the place and do it on the cheap myself. Yeah. And then Burr hit me up and my agent hit me up. And they were like, hey man, we got this deal. And then, the bird hit me up, and my agent hit me up, and they were like,

hey man, we got this deal, and we wanted one, two to be one of the specials that we do. That's great. So I was like, all right, bet. Right. And then when the, when the, where did it go from there? Oh. Did, did bird,

did those guys tap out and you just went into like, somebody and all things, comedy or what they, I would think, they stayed involved and bird was was there that night and we made they made sure that it's like 800 seat data. Right. Packed both shows.

Right. That's the fucking worst. You know, some of these people do these specials and they don't pack the fucking room. Oh, I was terrified. Well, you should be. I mean, there was I know comics. I've never been filled with 200 cedar.

Right. With three shows. I know comics that do specials, and you can see them. Some of them, you're looking the balcony, it's empty. Yeah. And you're like, wait, wait a minute. Why? Well, microphone.

No, I'm saying why? Yeah, I know. I didn't hear you because it was not in the microphone. I was worried. I love how you're trying to get out of that, too. Why? Yeah. I love how you're trying to get out of that too. Why? Yeah, they, they, they, they forgot to fill the room. Yeah, I was, I was worried about that.

That's more so than you can cut around it, I guess, visually, but the comic, you, you fucked with their self-esteem, you're a knight of their special. Like, the knight of the special, you made them feel like they can't, they're not special. You fuck now they're looking at a half filled room. And that does something to perform. It does. It does. I like the producer that there's guy, he was, he was kind of like dragon, his feet coming up to the production date, the shoot date. Right. And I'm like, you know, we supposed to like meet all these people involved

and interview them and like inform them and like start like the whole process of getting all the elements together for the special. Yeah. And he was kind of dragging his feet. And then one day I went over to, to Jeff Ross was taping historical roles for Netflix. And I went over there. And the guy I'd been talking to on the phone who'd not been going through with everything he

supposed to came up to me and she might say, Hey, I'm I'm so and so. I'm working on your special. I said, this nigga has another job. Right. That's why he hasn't been doing my show. So he's making all this money over here. Yeah. And he's got my special that he supposed to be doing. Yeah. But he's taking care of this. This Jeff this money over here. And he's got my special that he's supposed to be doing. But he's taking care of this. Jeff Ross thing. Yeah. And my stuff is dragon and then the shoot date, we had to push it back because we needed

time to get people to inform the body so that they could come up. So they were that because he was like, we could just shoot, cut around and shoot around the audience's yesterday. He said that. Why did you fire him? No, but we fixed it. I just spoke to Burr and Burr just got on all of them and straightened it all out. Did he curse him out?

Yeah. Oh, good. Yeah, he just got on that. Sound like you're still pissed at this guy. Why? But it's just a moment when Bobby just brought up how people have specials where there's no problem. This guy has sabotaging something that he has.

He didn't care. No. Because it was just my special was just another check. He's making this check. I'm going to get all these checks. This December, I'm going to get all these checks. And then you run into people like that in the business like, you know, they don't care how it turns out.

He's going to get his check regardless. I think it's also too that they don't understand comedy. Right. I don't think they understand. Like I remember Matrice when he did his showtime thing. He got to a huge fight with showtime. That was a contested one to be one of those people. Wait a minute. Matrice got in a huge fight. But they sound the first while they film the first show with the lights up and the sound was bad. You couldn't hear yourself. And they were like, no, it's fine because on the special, we can hear it.

So when we, when you see it, he's like, yeah, I don't give a fuck about that. I need, I need it good for me. Right. Because I can't perform if I can't hear myself. Right. That's good. I don't give a fuck about some idiot in a booth who doesn't give a fuck if I do well. Right.

I care about, they're like, don't worry. We can sweeten. He goes, no, I don't need you to sweeten my shit. Yeah. I don't need you to add in. I can get the laughs. I can get the laughs. Right. You're going to sweet like even in, I hate some of theen my shit. Yeah. I don't need you to add in, I can get the laughs. I can get the laughs that you're gonna sweet. Like even in, I hate some of the specials that I see

because you know, you look at the room and the setup of the wedding event is shot. Yeah. And then you hear the comic tells the first joke and then you hear the laughter. And I, oh, that laughing come from that room. And that tune out immediately. And like, that's from a can.

That's what I heard that laughter in, in I love Lucy. Yeah. That's the, I love Lucy can. Some of the more kinds of cans from, from all different shows. I said some Johnny Carson. Yeah, some of them, some old dude got a check for voiceover reading. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's an old time.

I remember that when I did a special and the first guy went on bombed and then I went up after him for my, I think it was my premium blend. He fucking took a hot one. I went up after him and then, but then when I saw it, he was, he just murdered like me. Oh, shit. And I remember I was a, they told her to, it was, he just murdered like me. Oh, shit. And I remember, I was like, they told me it's worse if you murder a heart. But they took one of my laughs.

I remember this girl on the front row who's a fan of mine. She was laughing at him. And I remember watching them. They were in fact, they took my laugh and gave it to this cocksucker so that everybody's just evened out. Yeah.

Yeah, it's, that's why when I shut my thing over here, I wanted the camera on the side because I wanted to be able to see me telling the joke and those people laughing at the same time so you can hear it. So that's good. Now I needed to shut one at the fat black fat black. Oh, no, not the fat black. I love that room. It's a great room. Yeah. It's a fucking great room. The Vegas room is pretty similar to it too. Yeah. You have Vegas, Vegas. Have you been to that room yet?

Yeah, yeah. You like it? Yeah. Oh, shit. Did you hear that? Well, I hear it. You hear it? I hear it loud and clear.

You love the room? You can't hear it loud and clear, Jackers. You didn't like it? I mean, I could tell you what happened. I don't care. Yeah, tell us. So I was going there all last summer to prepare for the special. Okay. All right.

And then I went there and Liz was there. Okay. And it was three white comics and me. That's that's that's that's good. Stand it. Okay. And there was three white, three white comics and me. That's, that's, that's, that's good. Stand up, right? I like that. And I prove that. And then I was, I was second the first night, second the first night, second the first night. Okay. You know, and I came down there, like a little late, but on time for the show, I couldn't find my belt. I told you. You couldn't find your belt in the hotel room.

The belt to put on your pants. To put on my pants, right? This plays, I'll tell you this because this plays up later. So it's the first night, so she puts, I'm on second. So now the second night, I know I'm not first. So I'm not gonna come there. You know, I know I'm not first. So I'm not gonna come there. You know, I come there in my set time, like you'll be out of set time here.

You come your set time, right? So I get there and the show started, but when I say it started, the host just got on stage, right? And I'm in the room and then Liz goes, your first. So I don't know why she said that. Yeah. She changed it order. Yeah. So I'm like, all right, whatever. Right. So then I go out on deck, right? You know, and this is, this is how late I am. Yeah. I'm late. So late that I'm first. You get what I'm saying? You're not late. I'm not late. All right.

I mean, you almost tricked me up on that because I'm not that smart. You gotta realize Bob is pretty damn dumb. Yeah, yeah, sorry. You know what, keep you called me by the time I was to tell me that before. What? What? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? You left. That was a 50-50. She looks like that wasn't I? I thought I wanted something. I was like, because you're not late.

That's right. Thank you. You're like my teacher. So there it is. Yeah, good. I said that. I go outside. I'm like, I'm pissed that I'm first.

You know your mad as a comic gun. You have to leave the building. I'm going to get air. Yeah. Because I don't want to say something. And know, you're mad as a comic when you have to leave the building. I'm gonna get air. Yeah. Yeah, cause I don't want to say something and I don't know what to say yet. Right, yeah. I like to know what I'm gonna say.

Right, yeah. So I just walk out to where the show is. I'm a gagger. I'm first. I'm doing it. I'm talking to God one. That maybe you ran out to the parking lot, this empty parking lot and he stuck.

He was like, fucking. No. He screamed at the moon. He's howled at the moon. this empty parking lot and he stuck he was like fucking He screamed at the moon and he's screaming and then he stuck his hand He didn't know what to do because there's nothing to punch your head and nobody was there He didn't know I was there and he stuck his hands in his pockets and grabbed all his change and just threw it into the parking lot You see a pink thing being just quarters and times flying And luckily it didn't stay so So I know what you're saying. Going on to the parking lot, get some air, get your shit together.

But in this case, the showroom. Right, you know? Joe list everybody. Hey, amazing Joe list. What? There's no cameras up there. We updated. What time did you all tell Joe list the show?

Right about now. Okay, all right. Just check? Right about now. Okay. Yeah Yeah, talking about the rules of this place. Oh, we told the white guy show We showed you guys to come early just to make sure you're on the We heard that you're late Liz told us you're late, so we just You two people what do you mean you do take a long time and he's you know late all the time I can't find my bill because I can't find my belt got forbidding he lost his belt Yeah, so so you're outside taking a breath try to figure what to say not not him try to figure I I'm gonna go first Yeah, and so I go out there. Yeah, and then she comes out

And I'm like hey Lizzie if you're going to change the order, you should tell the comic in advance. Right. And then that's when she said, she said, that's when she said I changed it because you were late. And I was like, how am I in my head? I'm like, how am I late when I'm, I was supposed to go second, I'm early enough to be first. Right. And then come to that. No, because I got to go next. and I know, but I love when people say shit that makes complete sense and I'd be like, oh, it could. That's some shit you think of later. Yeah, I'm a three day.

I have to kick myself the whole weekend car. Yeah, yeah. On the way back home from Vegas, though, at the end of the week. Well, you didn't say that shit when you had the argument in your head. Yeah, yeah. She goes, well, you're just going to first because you were late. Well, how can I be late and you say it without a turn? And then you do her part. Yeah. Well, how can I be late and you say it without a turn?

And then you do her part. Yeah. Oh my God, that makes sense. Yeah. You're right. That's fucked up. So there it is. I usually go the other way where we go, fuck you.

No, fuck you. You want to fuck it. I'm just screaming into a mirror. Fuck it. I'll murder you. I'll burn this. I'll calm down. You do the whole act on it.

Yeah. I'm fucking terrible. I was good to think sometimes it was actually good. You thought about it. I usually just react. And they go, oh shit. That was bad. I lose when I, I lose when I react.

So I just like to think it out. So it's good. Yeah. So I then I complained to who to make sure I made sure esti heard what was fucking snitch yeah it wasn't it wasn't even a snitch I'd be like and I didn't and I wanted her to know and I wanted Liz to know that is me yeah of course you and then Liz told esti oh speaking of snitcher this is snitcher then she told esti well I changed the lineup because he wasn't doing good so I put him first

Okay, see see your face. Is that the sound believable? You saw that deaf jam set But you had dreads that You didn't have the green tea. You don't have green tea back there. I was trying to make it some Las Vegas. Right there. All right, so Vegas, seller Vegas, the best sunny cleft in Vegas. Jeffie. Don't see the light up one black guy and all white people. So it was a man.

I want to fucking time. Well, listen, one black guy. One black guy. But there's a black guy. We have a lesbian. We have a middle person. We have a Jew. And then we have Shantz Latino. Shantz Latino.

Good. Dingo, Joe. We got a Spanish. We got a black. We got a white guy from back in the 40s. There's only classic white on there. Classic white. Classic white.

Yeah. Really. We got a white guy from back in the 40s. Yeah, there's only a classic white on there. There's a classic white. There's a classic white. Classic white. Yeah, classic white. Yeah, really. Correct, Joe.

And then white guys be on every fucking thing that he can blame about white guys losing shit. Who says that? Every white guy I've ever known. Not in front of you, we don't say it. You say it? He just said that alone in a cigar bar. I don't, I just listen. I don't say it. I just go back to us. It gets back to us. It gets back to us.

Oh my God. We weird when I get shit anymore, but we just not getting it all anymore. Yeah. First of all, that's a thing. that would bug you to okay? Everything everything. Yeah, that's like you know, I don't know if it would bug me because I never used to get everything. So I believe me if you got it all and look at it. It's like you know, it's like dinner now.

I used to have as much as I wanted. Now my wife was like, well, this is your portion. It's like, well, you're not having as much as you want. Wow. What it well. So you're not having as much as you want? Wow. Wow. And Joe missed his bag. The car is not going to just really wait. Wait, wait.

It's not. I feel you now. I'm on a dumb on a big diet because of reflux. I can't eat within four hours ago. I'm not supposed to eat after 8 p.m. I'm starving all the time. It comes in late and shits on your weight. Congrats on the extra.

That's right. That's fine. It's not too late late and shits on your way. Congratulations. That's fine. That's not me. Shit's on you on your way. Oh, Daniel's special. Cheers. I gotta go and reshoot it. Yeah, I tried, I'm trying not to eat late at night too. You're not supposed to eat.

I learned one thing. Breakfast is what? It's supposed to be the biggest learned one thing, breakfast is what? It's supposed to be the biggest meal. But what is breakfast? Breaking fast. Thank you. Break fast. That's what breakfast is.

Oh, really? You fucking heck. Oh, what is breakfast? I, but, I fucking fast. I fuck you. I'm 40% sure. I keep to never heard that before.

Thank you. I'm 40%. I'm, I'm 50%. That's the first thing you learn. Thank you. I'm 40% I'm 50 first thing you learn. I didn't know I was like 28 when someone was like it's short for break fast. You didn't know my mind. No, no, in church, you learn it. Oh, you bring up God. Just leave. No, fast. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, He knows how to go. Fuck fast and imprained. I'm not gonna fuck with you now that you brought Jesus into it.

Shit. I thought you could tell me anything is true if you, like, yeah, I learned it in church. I'm like, I've never fucked. All right. I don't know what happened to church. Oh, what that break fast. Shut the fuck up.

Stop saying it like you said it ever before tonight. I never. You thought it was about basketball, though. Oh, fuck. I'm not sure. I never. You thought it was about basketball though. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. I'm not sure. I'm talking Mexican, get in.

He's Mexican? Yeah, he's Mexican. Yeah, he's Mexican. It's good information. He looks like a fucking owl, but he's Mexican. He looks like an owl with an eye reduction. He's similar to an owl, because when I bring up his name, people go,

whoo! Fucking Joe's on fire! I think I should have said it without the hour who, though. He really does. He looks like the one that the San Diego Zoo. That's what it is. You know what, Joe, come in late more often, man. I like coming in late because I have no reference.

Yes, reference. Yes, reference. Well, we're talking about Ian just, I just about shot a special with all things comedy. And the thing that all things comedy does that I love, number one, you own your special. Yeah, yeah. Number two, they make sure that the specials,

a special, like when I went to Paul Versey special, fucking place was packed out. Right out, packed the fuck out. And I know some friends of mine who will remain nameless that, who are very talented. And they did this special and even in 400 CD's had joined people. Was it right? How many tapings did they do? Two. Two.

Two. Oh, huh? Oh, that bully me. Stop pulling me. I won't tell you what I'm not, you're not going to break me. You'll never break me. Break fast. Break. Just call it break. I'll never tell you. Let, Ryan Hamilton. But they really do the specials right. Joe, you've never done an hour. No, I've done two half hours and nobody saw either. So what do you have?

Half hour. How did the percentage of it? Two half hours, one 15 minute. I think right? No, two half hours. One on Comedy Central. One's on Netflix. Yeah, nobody saw it. One on Netflix. I One's on Netflix. Yeah, nobody saw it on Netflix.

I think people did, but not like, we've talked about this before, but Nate Margazzi did two in one. And he kept calling me and being like, dude, this is like, it's like a game changer, man. Like, I'm selling out everywhere. And I was like, great, like fucking killer. And I kept setting up all these door deals. I was like, I'm going to go to a concert in Seattle.

Set me up with the Tacoma Dome. I'm going to go to a concert in Seattle. Set me up at the Tacoma Dome or Nick Hanksher concert. And then I added like 2000 followers. And there's nobody, nobody. But I think I think our specials, I think I remember that I'm not the laughing you. But I remember that you were, you were like, oh, this is going to be it. Nate, Nate told me this is it. Yeah.

I love when people make it a certain way. And then they start giving people that advice. Like, this is how it happens. It's like this in motherfucker. Luck is a big one. Whatever the fuck happened when you made became famous had that's your past. Well, I've had a few things like that. Rogan, I just did. People like, Rory said to me, quote, he's like, you'll sell out the first weekend after Rogan? Yeah. Nobody was there. Nobody. I mean, literally, maybe he's just shitty amateur.

I'm like, no, but I did it like everyone's selling out after Rogan. And you're like, there's nobody at the buck. I gotta be. Every time a 20-year-old does sell out after Rogan. Yeah. I mean, it's never not happened. I don't know. I'm not doing it. Everyone does sell out after Rogen. Yeah. It's never not happened. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Roman's like having a fucking walk about with a golden ticket in it. Yeah. I feel like I did pretty well on there, but what can you do? And then last coming stand, I did that. I was like, this is huge.

I wrote to my ex girlfriend and I was like, I'm about to be famous. She had moved to South America. I was like, I'm about to be famous, which had moved to South America. I was like, I'm about to be famous, which is exciting. And I was about to go out lately. That was a few years ago. It was bad. It was bad. It was bad when you get hit by a car.

That's what I feel. If I got, you know, tit cancer or whatever, I feel like I'd do pretty well. Yeah, well, I didn't do shit off my stroke. I thought my stroke would give me an HBO special. That's what I'd say. Yeah, they give me an A.B.O. special. I told you. Yeah, they told me that. That's it.

Oh, they didn't give me shit. Not a late night show, nothing. Dude, I remember when I did Louis and they said, they're gonna nominate you for an Emmy this year. Oh, right. And I remember, I remember I was in the store in dirty sweatpants and a dirty shirt with flip flops on and I was on the phone. My wife and she's like, Louis just mentioned you on the Emmys.

He just said thank you to Bobby Kelly. And I would go, yeah, do you want 2% or whole? Cause I'm cookie, though, in my hand. I was like, yeah, that's gonna, that's not gonna do shit. All right. What do you want? Which one? That's your energy.

Now listen, you know what Joe have shitty energy. What about yours? You got stroke. I feel bad. A stroke I'd be at the top of the, I mean, kill it. I didn't have shitty energy. At least, at least I have a benefit. We didn't even throw you a benefit. No, you just crawled your way back to the club. Yes. You should have stayed. You should have did a whole dramatic thing with it. You should have been bad. Yeah. I was beautiful. You should have did a whole dramatic thing with it. Yeah, you should have been bad film that I was in beautiful You would have to sell them out right now. Oh my stroke of genius Even too proud to milk it

It could be a special stroke of genius Sit I didn't know my stroke. I should have I should have a good you need a PR person when you get a stroke. I didn't tell you how to come back and slow. I just set it up. Yeah. A couple of a set a month later. Yeah. Just came in and fine.

Thank you. Well, uh, shut up dummies. It was a big deal. Like us. What did he have? I would have filmed it if I were to film the shit. Yeah. In a hospital. Yeah. coming back guys had the voice, the stroke voice real.

I'll be back. Boom. Yeah, it was a big deal. Not as big as Patrice, but you're a big deal. Wow. I didn't rush to the hospital. Patrice came back. Whatever.

She sat a stroke. I literally ran out. I was like, let me in there. I went like four days later. I called him. I called him. I called him. I was in town.

I was in town. I was walking around with his ass on camera. I was tapped at what I didn't see. Were you there to a lot to see. Are you in the hospital? Yeah, I want to see. Are you in Norton? And I've been to saying fucking hospital.

You did with less money. How shit? I know. I did. I did your RT. Are. Are. Are.

Are. Are. Are you for quite? I remember that. When you got hit, when you got hit when you got the truck that was that was a million dollar truck. I tell you what it was scary as fuck when I went in there to see him where it was really like holy shit because he was so out of it.

But he I've never left so much. When he said when he had the the the had the nurse sitting there who has to stay with him all day. There's this old a black woman and she had like a little wig on. And I go, ah, man, look at this fucking game is brown. Look at mother fucker. I can't say she look like James Brown. What the fuck? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, And he was just, he was like, I mean, grab, take him, he was just like, he's trying to fucking

pull Norton back. Not now, Norton. Yeah, that was funny. Remember, he's not a trash of this pork lady. Because he was, he was remembering us from the seller and he was remembering what we do. So he just tacking this fucking Nurse you got look at it fucking head. We just like dude you got to stop Doctor came in and said already cuz you mind not fucking the girls in the rooms Oh, they have a camera on you don't see whatever you do and Artie was he was get yeah, he was the doctor. Yeah. He was fucking girls in a room. He was going to hospital. Yeah. How do you get hospital pussy?

I've never got the girls. We stand over. He said, no, no, she was just sitting in front of me and blah, blah, blah. He said, no, no, no. So girls coming up that he knew and banging them in the hospital. I've seen his deck.. I mean, it's it is like a 20. What are you doing seeing guys? You were right there too. You sorry. I didn't see nothing. You're lying. No, dude. I don't know what black code this thing is right now. You sorry. How's everything out of be black? I don't know, but what's black code? But as Keith lawyer and representative. I did not see Artis Dick. Oh, as my lawyer, we're talking to you right now. Joe. Um, fuck. I'm not, we'll take a Jew, man. We've got a Jew in here.

There's none in here. Fuck. Somebody's in there. By the way, did you know that? Jesus, Joe. Yes. Yeah, yeah. There's nobs friends in there. Oh, it's good.

No, who's room is that? That's, um, that room. Yeah, it's no friends in there. Oh, it's good. Who's room is that? That room? Yeah, it's like a, like a bedroom. Yeah, that's no room. I was shit. My pants. I walked in there. I heard like a boy. I thought someone was kind of guy. He's in there. Oh, all right. I didn't die. But I just heard a voice. Oh, good guy. He lives in a fucking room with a podcast next door. fucking row with a pie catch next door. I think I'm down on this look. He's in there. He's in there. He's in there.

That's who the nurse looked like. I can't say that looks like Patrice too. Oh. Wow. Listen, this is not going to sound, but I couldn't wait to get the Patrice's funeral. He's just crazy. Because I knew how much fun that shit was going to be. Yeah.

And when we all went in the back room, how are we going to do that? We just went out. It was just fun. Yeah. It's shit. Like the body's over there. Mm-hmm. And out of respect, we're in the back.

Just fucking clowning. Yeah. Yeah. It was just too much fun. Just to do a little bit of well-tread to open it. And out of respect we're in the back just fucking clowning It was just a real try to open it And the cash to do some Haitian voodoo shit Just try to open it and jump in we're like We had to pull well away as a no no no I was the upset over see being on the funny. He just wanted to open it and do something Well, what are you doing? It's just being dramatic.

It's Dick I've seen. That's a dick I've seen. Yeah, that's something else. What are you guys doing? Look at the hang of my car. It's Dick's. Listen, first of all, back off. I'm asking you, what the fuck is going on?

You only dick I've never seen. Oh, you. You've never taken a picture of Big Boy. Big Boy? That's what you called it all these you Yeah, the big boy you know when I took dad a girl that you like a wall bag. What? What you talking about 89 are you revealing something to me alive on a podcast right now? Yeah, don't give dates at home. I say 89. No.

So you went 89. Fucking use with Donna. No, no, no, no, 89. 89. 89. 89. 89. 89.

89. 89. 89. 89. Every time I ever got my dick sucked, it was 89. I got my dick sucked 9,000 times. It is a hot air. 9,000.

Black girl in Amsterdam, not 89. Yeah. Walking down, it was just felt freer than I was. I hate that Italian girls pussy. Swallow the 12 favorites with the gum out 89. We won't grow old. You made it up. Uh-huh. We won't growl, do you take for me? Bird doggy.

Hey, was that what it's called bird doggy? Bird doggy. Or zo. Oh, that fuck you. Yeah, that was terrible. 89. You kept yelling at me because, you know, we're all on the matrix out there.

We called it the matrix because we were all living lot. Like I was pretending I was a spy. Whatever. I don't care. I remember in my room looking out over the ocean on that strip that you've seen in like flexion. All these famous movies. I was in my top room looking out over there. And I remember looking out and he had my robe on. And I remember I was pretending like I was on a mission. And I had the girl in the room and I went back into the patch. And I remember this fucking every day this cocks I go, it's a hookah stupid. She doesn't like it. He ruined it for everybody.

But Trisha, they were just speaking to me. Trisha, don't hurt me. I'm talking to you every day. You meet up with a girl and fall in love with her. And you be like, yeah, she's a whole dummy. I'm like, no, she's not stupid. And I fell in love with this girl. She was so pretty.

She had blonde hair. She didn't want anything to do with me for a long time. And I fell in love with this girl. She had, she was so pretty. She had blonde hair. She didn't want anything to do with me for a long time. And then one day I bought her panties on a stick. What? Hey, what? This lady would walk around with panties on a stick and I bought them and they had the American flag on them.

I like it was popcorn. So you know, popcorn, get your popcorn. panties on a stick, you know what I'm saying? They say, we can't say. And I bought her the shoes, she came over, she sat and we talked. I was gonna take it to dinner. How'd you give them to her? I just, I had the lady give them to her.

She walks over and she goes, this is from... It's almost like sent this gentleman over here or did you a drink? He let you... He let you... He let you... He let you... He let you...

He let you... He let you... He let you... He let you... He let you... He let you... He let you... He let you... He let you... You know what I mean? That was like, you send some paintings over one July. And I remember her. I remember I was sitting there. We had such a great time. It was like, I mean, 12 of us at a table eating chicken and rice and soups and drinking. It was the afternoon we were in Rio. It was beautiful. We all had a girl next to us except for dummy.

And you don't have one because he's a miserable ass. He would only do it at night and just like a fucking evil person. And then and then I was talking to him and I was like, do you want to do you know, it's a sad shut up stupid. She what are you doing talking to her like she's your fucking wife? I'm like, hey man, she likes me. She doesn't like you.

She likes to do like, I go, you like him? She's like, no. I don't even know if she ever took me. I go, you like you. She likes to like to I go, you like him. She's like, no. I don't even know what she understood me. I go, you like me. She goes, yeah, Bobby. I like Bobby. I met a calm Bobby, right? And I go, you and he's laughing at Keith. You like Keith? No. Oh, laughing. I got to fuck you. And then I was like, I'll be right back. We'll go to dinner. I went up and I took a shower. I put a cologne on. I ironed my shirt, took me around 25 minutes. I came back down dressed up for dinner.

I was, I was taking her to a fancy restaurant. I was in Brazil on the strip. I was gonna spend the night, I mean, fuck. And then everybody was gone. Everybody was gone. Everybody was gone. And Keith was gone with her. The Chinese dude was like, yo, yo, you looking for your friends?

I was like, yeah, he goes, yo, that dude, that black dude, you, we took that girl. Back to his room. I took somebody, I made him put on a panties and he brought it. Oh, wow. So, I don't know if I'm using this term right, but that sounds gangster. Is that gangster? I think that's what gangster is. I'm gonna use this term right here. Oh, everybody. Oh Jesus Christ, be careful.

I remember like the guy the Chinese dude, cause he hurt and he And he started my face. You're like, yeah, you all right, man? Oh, man, he lost his accent. I was like, I was like, I'm all right, man. I went, yeah, I'm all right, man. I'm going back to my room by myself. But I don't know where you paying her. Or is this someone you met and she liked? No, was it a prostitute or no?

It was a prostitute, but down there, it's not like a, it's like a prostitute. That's what I was trying to tell you. I thought he was in love. I was showing him. I want to teach him a good lesson. That's a good lesson. I know that's the plot of the movie cocktail.

I wanted my basically, you guys did the movie cocktail. All right, all right. Nine is the bar, time to go. I wanted my panties back. Where are my panties, you I can wear my panties. You cocked. I got my pants in my room in a ball. I'm going to put my gizz on my panties.

Wow. He used my panties to wipe his gizz up. We're in pieces shit as a friend. It felt good. It's so funny. Today, Cuomo, it was this, not, I don't know how close, but very close to legalizing prostitution in New York State. It should be.

This close to legalizing. He came in at the last second and said, now we're not going to do that. I think we talked about this before. I've talked about it a lot. I don't understand why a legalized prostitution isn't more of a women's rights issue. That should be more of like a, you know, the body. I know what I'm wrong about it. Yeah, yeah. That feels like we want to get paid, make it regulated, they can get rich. It's our my choice. Yeah. It seems weird that it

feels like more of like a dude like we should be all the fuck women. So it's like it should be women should be like we should be able to fucking. Well, what do you think is the pimps that don't want it legalized? There's no more. Of course. Well, the papers legalized. What do you mean there's no more that don't want it legalize? There's no more pimps. Of course, both the pimps are legalized. What do you mean there's no more pimps? If it was legalized, it would be regulated. You get rid of the pimps. I'll tell you that.

They're right. Absolutely, but I'll tell you, there's no more. I mean, there is probably still pimps that are not the way it used to be because they can be independent and they use the internet to get people. You can just be a girl in your house and put up an ad somewhere and have people come over and have you. What do you mean girls in your house and put up an ad somewhere and have people come over and have you. What do you mean girls in your house? Well, you think girls just set the house and make cookies and sell pussy?

Well, you need someone to talk to you. That's what it comes in. Yeah, that's how I work, bro. There's this, this, this girls that just independent. The girls aren't walking the street. Girls need a protection when back in the 90s. They still do. Hang on, let me, can you stop just aggressively bullying me out of my pocket point? I'm saying back in the

90s, you went up 43rd street, it was all girls half naked on the street. I don't know how it worked. There's, yes, there's no more girls on the street. There's no more girls walking the street. There's no more girls at Hunts Point. There's not, they're not their home hunter. Yeah, Hunts Point was a huge hooker thing back in the day. But the girls have to go to destinations. They need somebody to protect them. Those, those, yes, those girls have drivers. Jay was one of them, but the driver must be taking a percentage of the money. They take some of it, but they're not pimps. Jay was a driver and the girls who stay home in Manhattan, you just go to their apartment

now. I don't know, bro. I don't know. I don't know. I'm assuming everything. What the fuck? You found this out. He knew about the shits since 89.

Dude, I didn't listen to that. Listen. What? I'm listening to you. I'm listening to a piece of shit. You are. You found this out and he knew about the shitsons 89. Dude, I didn't listen to that. Listen. What?

I'm listening to a piece of shit you are. Exactly, but I'm telling you, not what I think of what I know. They have pimps. I'm gonna say in the dead, but there's not a guy walking out of shoe with a goblet in the cane anymore. What? No, they have pimps. What the fuck? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I have a goblet. So you're saying it is not a goblet of goblet? What? No, they have very

You know what I'm saying? You know I have That is pimpy. Where are my bitches at? That's the problem. That's no. But yeah, I see what you mean. There's not a guy. I know what you mean. But there's a guy behind the guy. Is it?

That's my goblet. Yeah, that's a goblet. It's actually a fleshlight. You fucked that book. I do think. Oh, sir. No, but I'm going to tell you what it is. What the heck that got?

No. You're holding me until the head. I'm not tell you what it is. What the heck that got? No. I'm not your real type motherfucker. No, but there is guys that's still. I agree with you. I'm not gonna fight over this, but I agree with you, but I don't think it is what it was back in the day and the 90s, early 90s. And when we would come into New York City, there was girls on the streets. You would drive up and down where you car and there was a dude on the corner who was their

pant protecting them from motherfuckers, right? So but now because of the internet, girls can be independent now. You don't need like a regular girl, like Becky, if she wanted to sell some stuff right here. Yeah. I've seen Becky be worth some money too. I have to. I see Becky walking by her soul. Put the hat on when you talk about it.

Wait, I got I got door right. Fuck this. Hey, Becky. You take the headphones off, stupid. That's all that's all you have to do is take the headphones off. I'm here. There you go. Yeah, that looks good. Oh. I am. There you go.

Yeah, that looks good. I'm a little bit stop. You know what I mean? I think I might be backwards. I was just coming to backwards. Yeah, that's shut up. What the fuck? Becky costs me good money too.

Good money. But you're you're four and two, right? That helps. Yeah. Yeah, I know a couple hundred bucks. Oh, shit. If you take a little accent, let me hear Sorry, hey

I don't know if you get extra money for Canadian but you can Yeah, you lose money You're right Sorry, hey, this is crazy. It's a currency ratio. It's a currency ratio. I'm those fucking pimp slap, you know. That's crazy. Stop.

No, what happened to that? That'd be a crazy pimp slap. You just used your other arm and then we take what happens. Swinging the dome, go ahead and tell me. What happens is when you're even on the internet, yes, you got to go to the show in your hotel and stuff like that might just set up your business.

Yeah. A lot of guys find these girls and they step in. That's why they stop back page craigslist and all that because they were those last six traffic into him. Pimping on on on. Yeah, it's down on sex traffic. And it's the corner with those with the pimps. Yes, I understand that. And there is still a lot. I'm not saying there isn't, but there's a lot. There's no girls walking the street in. Right. I see what you mean. They don't see a guy with a in Vegas. They're Harvey Kitella.

They're all over Vegas. Yes, there is. But not Manhattan. And it's in Vegas, then regular women. It's just crazy. But there's why they were afraid of going back out on the streets for the process. One back page got shut down. Oh, they they want the thought they were going to go back on the street. Yes. Yeah. But that's out of the websites and stuff like that. It should be legal. It should be legal because you wouldn't get rid of the pimps. You would get rid of girls having a wallet.

You would not. You would get rid of the pimps. It was legal. Because you can legalize it. Right. But it would all of a sudden, and they, you know, they got to go to these dark hotels and all that shit. Dark hotels.

Yeah. The fuck's in dark hotels. The hotel's six's it. Don't tell six look eight in the ones you stand. Those are pretty much hotels. I have my friends. They have free breakfast in the morning. I got both. Looking dead and all that. I have a dog. Yeah, I'm in one time a long time ago.

I was 89. It was 89 and around 89. I went to one of those months in LA and God damn it, dude. They fucking I walked in and LA is a weird sex place because you think it's really dirty because porn's out there. But that shit is it's really fucking like you walk in and they're like, I can't touch you. You can't touch me.

But you can touch yourself and I'll touch myself. We can both be naked because they get around the law. So we did all this stupid. It sucks. What was this? This is an LA. But what type of, what did you go for? Like a, like off those, remember the LA weekly in the back. Okay. You know, and you know, that's the LA version of the back. What are you doing? Well, back, they don't have it. They're right back in the dead. You want to look like a real sucker. That's what happens. Why?

When they see a sucker, they don't know, do nothing. We, oh, listen, tell you that. Come on with new rules. You stop pimping me now. I feel like you're pimping me with that. I'm gonna be a sucker. No, because I usually tell my hoe was when they see a sucker like you.

No, that was the, that was the law. Because if the cops came in and you would just naked, they can't do anything. There's two people masturbate. If she's touched exactly, they can't arrest legally. You can. And I remember we sat there. I wound up jerking off. It was stupid.

I felt humiliated that I had. And I was like, why am I doing this? But I want, I gave her the money already. So I just wanted to get my money's worth. How much money do you get? How much did it take? 700 dollars. No, it was 100 bucks.

So it was 100 bucks. But in 1989, that was like 300 bucks. It was a lot of money. And I didn't have money back then either. So I remember as soon as I put my shoe on shoe on just and you could tell that cop knock Just firm and and it was the cops and they came in and they're like, what are you doing? I'm like, ah, nothing. Just front of my game in this number to, you know, come in and what you do I go, nothing, we just knocked on the door and she kind of keep me up. Just don't say that

And they got me outside. They tried to fucking get me. And they almost got me too. They don't know how weak I am. They were like, look man, we know, look it bro. Buddy, they will call me pal. All the things, all those terms of endearment I love. Like I wanted from a father, right? They were like, listen, son, listen, listen,

you know, look at man, we're just trying to get her in this. Yeah, right. And I was, I just kept going, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about. I really, this is it. I just got here. You guys came, like, and I stuck to it. They're like, then they went over and talked. They're like, like, go, don't, then they turned. They were fucking, like, fuck you. They're like, go. We see you back here. You're fucking going to jail. I was like, wow, they were, they can't do that. They can't do that. I don't know. I don't know. No, no, no, no. Am I supposed to? No, I don't. I tell my hoe is first of all, this is my tell. No, see anything you do, unless they see

you exchange your money, then that's it. But anything you do, that's why the girls always say anything we do is up to adults and we do anything at yours up to us adults. Right. Toward adults consenting adults is up to two consenting adults. Right. And because any exchange of money. Yeah.

So anything they happen after that, any full money is just for what two consenting adults do is what they do. What do they call it? Donations. You know, the cops can't do shit. Girls call it donations. You can give me a, I'm not charging you for this. The league away route is, I do accept donations.

All right, let me ask you this. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah, I got it. What was your John name?

My, super Robert. Robert, you call yourself, I was Felix. My John name was Felix. You know what, you look like a few things it works. Hey smell like a Felix I'm fine and chocolate I just I don't have that ability to do that. I just panic they'd be like what's your name? I'd be like Bob And then what do you and then you go? what do you do? I do comedy. Yeah, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just all the time. I know, but I did it at such a young age,

so much shit that it's it's out of me. I don't even I don't even finish everything off at 89. I finished it all off. It's all it's all thank God. I remember now I make now I'm making a money to where I could do some awful shit. Yeah, I've thought of that too. Where you're like now I have like nice prostitute money. Yeah, I brought my first that too. Where you're like, now I have like nice prostitute money. Yeah, I brought my first prostitute. You don't have to get one that looks like me. Yeah, I feel like this. So I'm hefty bitch with a fucking weak eye. And you're just going to go, ah, damn it.

I purchased my first prostitute. Claim me assholes, fuckers, fuckers, fuckers, fuckers together. Off of a bingo jackpot. I won with my grandmother. What I purchased my first prostitute off of bingo jackpot. I won $531 on a jackpot. Yeah. And I got my first one. What's the lady cost? 150 something like that. Okay. In the 50s. 150. Oh, I'm saying in the 50s, that's pretty expensive. I'm assuming that's me. What did you provide? What's happening with that? She provide for one thing every day.

Every day. I'm going to go shaded. This guy's in that one. I'm going to say you took me to massage. This is what a piece of shit you're talking to. You want a piece of shit. I remember when I told him when I first I was I'm gonna massage, pal. This is what a piece of shit you're talking to. This is what a piece of shit. I remember when I told him when I first, I was, I'm like, look man, I really, I'm gonna get serious with my girl. Who's my wife now? I'm not doing any more stupid shit. I'm going to therapy.

This is what this kid did to me. I'm in Philly. I tell her we have a heart to heart. He goes, I'm picking up for breakfast tomorrow. Be ready, I'm gonna take you out to breakfast. I was like, all right, we had a big heart to heart. And he picks me up for breakfast and goes, come on. We go in, we have this breakfast.

It's amazing breakfast. He goes, all right, man. And we talked about it more. And he's like, I'm gonna go take you. Get some sneakers. He's like, good for you, man. I'm gonna go with some sneakers. I'm like, okay, he goes, watch, come with me.

We'll get some sneaks. I'm like, all right, so we drive down the thing. We go with the thing he pulls over. And there's this little door down there. And he rings this door, but I'm like, oh we're going to go get some fucking, like this is some black sneakers. This is a dude in a basement with like fucking the best shoes ever, right? And we on this little Asian lady opens the door and I'm like, oh shit, like this is

some fucking black market shit. Like she's the one that made the shoes. Her kids made the shoes. So we go in, all of a sudden we're in this massage parlour and I'm in a room. Like this lady just grabs me and takes me in this background and sitting on the bed and I just hear him gagging. This fucking stupid laughing in the room.

I'm sitting there like, I don't want to be, I told them I didn't do this anymore. Why would he do this to me? And she comes in and she goes, okay, I can't. It's all quiet. I'm like, oh, and I, I remember I lied down and I go, no, I can't. And I got up and I ran out. Oh, good for you. And then he laughing. He comes out and he goes, ah, you dummy. You made it. That's a victory for both of you. You kept your honor and your new promise. And you're just trying to sell it. She wilded out. She's like the mob. He's not gonna let you out. Yeah, you're gonna let you out

Come here. Come here. I was shaking in the room. I wanted her to fucking I wanted her to touch my balls so bad I just wanted to get naked and go to an all-forged can you rub my ass for me? I literally I You rub my ass for me. I literally, I sat up like fucking mummy and just ran out. I was breathing after, I was, I just came up and asked, still but you made it. I was like, why would you do that? We'll make you clean up.

I got fucking just bagged. You got bagged with everything. And I was done. That's because here's the thing is that I wasn't doing, it was just, I was done. Right. I was like, fucking, this is just stupid. It's like food now. I'm just done.

I'm fucking done. Yeah, everything that's fun becomes unfun at some point. And then you keep doing it for a while. Well, when you keep doing it, it's fun. Just to make sure that it's, yeah, that's exactly it. It's fun, it's a used to be. Yeah. But when you can just to make sure that it's fun is a used to be. Yeah, well, it's weird because that was fun. Like, you know, meeting girls doing all this stuff was fun back in my 20s.

Shit, it was a good time. I had a good time. And that and I mean, that's just kind of what we did back then. You met and you fooled around and made out and touched each other's fucking junk and told, you know, told you, you know, told, you know, dude, you know, what I did, you know, you know, you used to wash stories and all that shit. But now it's, there was a part where I was like, oh, shit, I'm going to lose, I'm going to lose it all, talking away. I'm going to lose it all.

Yeah. I like that Keith Kent not telling us. That was joke. That was that happens. That's that is controlled me. It's backwards. It should turn it around. Don't turn it around.

Don't do it. What's up? What's up with the fucker? Look at the lean now. How many me too? You got under your belt. 13? I don't know. Look at the lean now. How many me two's you got under your belt? 13. I don't know.

I don't know. I mean, if you could, my little Saturday said 13, leave it at 13. My wife, my wife, you get to pull my wife in that. And my wife was in me too. All right. So that's it. My wife was definitely in me too.

All right, let me just go around a little bit. My wife said no. Joe, how many me two? I got zero on me too. You see, you see, I'm not sure you can. I didn't have enough zero on me too. You see big command issue again. I didn't have enough confidence to me too. I was too timid. You never took your dick out.

Oh, I think oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I took my dick out for Jessica Simpson around that. Do you know that's great? What? She was a soda and I were at the comedy village. Oh, whatever the it was. What was the York big club call over there? The Boston, which became the village,

whatever the fuck it was when we came. It turned into dog shit and that's when I arrived. I was like, they're like, this club used to have Dane and Bobby and Keith and I threw you in there for a great time, but. I don't know. And then, they're not like, where are they now? They're like, they're in the cellar.

And I was like, can I come in? They're like, yeah, you're in. This is great timing. It was great timing. It was perfect. And they're like, this club, you'll be big if you work here. Anyways, we graduated to the cello. Yeah, but anyway, we were there, and this was in my drinking

day, and I was hammered. And then, Jessica Simpson was like, Jessica Simpson is next door. And I was like, damn, let's go over there. We'll have a drink at the bar. And we'll go see Jessica Simpson. Like, thinking they're going to let us in, which is two fucking drug idiots. And then they go see Jesse Simpson. Yeah. Like thinking they're gonna let us in, which is two fucking drunk idiots.

And then they were like, yeah, you can't come in here. You fucking nitwits. And I was like, mad, because you know when you're drunk, you're like, these fucks, this is classism, man. They fuck, and I was like one of those idiots. And then I was like, when she comes up and she'll show her my dick.

And then when they were coming out, like her entourage was coming out. And I took my dick out and I was like, yo, Jess! And nobody looked over or sorry. It's her my dick. And then when they would come out, like her entourage was coming out, and I took my dick out and I was like, yo, Jess, nobody looked over her, sorry, it's a small dick. Yeah, that is sick as no, you got a not in that dick. Not a, literally, nobody even looked over her.

It's way, but he got literally so weird. I'm not getting so weird. He can take his dick out in front of the Queen of England. Nobody would say anything. I'm literally, I'm telling people the story and they're like, so what happened? I'm like, ah, nothing, like nobody. I've seen it.

They just like hushed it in the car and then that was it. And I put my dick away. What you just said, you said? I've seen his dick. We've seen everybody's dick. It's kind of every time we had FaceTime, maybe you said it was literally just like when you know, it takes a second to connect,

and it just connects to his cock and I'm like, I am motherfuckin well the best is when you have a full conversation then you're like, I gotta go then you stand up and reveal that you've been naked the whole time That's a fun one. I'm not faced. I remember to do with a shirt off in the first place Well, you have a shirt on and then they Yeah, that makes sense. Like what do the food? It's a white guy thing. It's a white guy. You got you so you said one me too, so that means you got about five. I'm a white guy. You got, you saw you said one me too. So that means you got about five.

I'm a gold five. All right, I'll take five. How many? How many? I'm gonna get you in. In this country. In this country. I don't know.

We'll see. What? I got another one. We're at the, where's a bowie coach? He's gonna call, he's gonna book a pilot. I'm gonna get a phone call. Hey, man, you gotta take that thing and we'll just, I just gotta show a Jessica.

This is it. Well, with the bowie poacher club, they used to just open mic. That was like a big open mic that everyone did and stuff. And they had a thing, I was kind of, they wanted to keep it like a free Bohemian freak show thing. And they had a thing where if you showed your dick on stage, you get a free drink. And I was a drunk, so I was like, oh, yeah, yeah. They think they wanted to be like a drink enough and get the courage.

And I was like, yeah, fuck, I'll go next. So I took my dick out, and I got my free drink. And then I went, I was like, can I go do that again? They're like, I guess. So I went back on stage, like just a dick out again. Just a stripper at that point. Yeah. And then I was like, how many go do that again? They're like, I guess. So I went back on stage, like, to just just get out again. Just to strip her at that point. Yeah. And then they're, I was like, how many times can I do that?

And they're like, yeah, you're done, you can. And that was getting more and I was like, all right. But that was totally, and that wasn't like in the 80s. That was 2007. They were like, I think they like, come on stage and take your dick out. You were near me to territory, 2007. How many of you got pimped?

Yeah, how many of you got? Yeah, how many, how many, how many hashtags in the 70 years you've been alive? 70 years. How many, how many? Oh, well, you know, my first one, I showed the first one. The ones during slavery don't count.

Yeah, the ones. Yeah, the two. I think I got like a good eight. Eight. Eight? Yeah, eight me, two. Yeah. I can think of. That's Eight. Eight. Eight? Yeah. Eight me twos. Yeah. That's it.

Do you say it more? Say it to the microphone please. Now I got no me too, so I could think of. Ha ha ha. Not about, you know, I mean, you wouldn't see me too, so we used to grab asses and all that. Yeah.

So that's gotta be a good two. Yeah, I didn't do that. That was a goof. That wasn't a, I was stopped. It's still, you still pulled your dick out. As a goof, I can't remember, like, at In the Gold Blue, Blues, Will, like, there's a chick.

Now you can't say this to Will. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not what you think. This is on me. Okay, so Will, Will, Will, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Loose introduces to a lot of girls and will grab this girl's ass and she's laughing and shit. Stop it will stop it will. So then I think I can do the same thing. Oh, completely different result. Yep. It's just I got cursed out.

Yeah. But I just thought, oh, I'm in the, I'm in the will group group crew thing. Grab a yes. I could, I could do the same thing. Oh, man. Well, it was an extraordinary dick. What? Will's dick. What? What? What hashtag me to is where are you going? I'm just saying, Will has a great dick. He really does. It's like this mic stand. It's special. Yeah. Like I think he

could take it out and whip you in the face. And you'd be like, Oh God, that was fun. That was fun. I don't know if it would be fun to. It's not cool. It's not cool. Okay, let me hear that. You want a suck oil? It's good. No, saying I wouldn't mind being pissed a whip with it. It's just an experience. Oh, that's clear.

You're going to tell me where they are. No, that kind of thing. I'm like, all right, all right. But I couldn't fit as dick in my mouth. It wouldn't even be. You could fit as my dick in your mouth. Yeah, I got a small mouth. I'll say you have to put that one. That's what word is on the street.

You got a small mouth. It's really bad. I actually, yeah, my wife talked about it with my wife. My wife, I remember we were making out and I just pulled, that was my move back there. You just take your dick out. That was my move. I did that to my previous girlfriend. Like, then we were walking back to my house. just take your dick out. That was my move. I did that to my previous girlfriend.

Like, we were walking back to my house. I took my dick out. Yeah, that was everybody's things. Yeah, it was a thing. You could just put my shirt over it and then set in the car and then. Well, that's fucking nuts. You sat in the car and they showed up. I would kiss.

Oh, I'm the rare one. Fuck you. But listen, listen, I didn't sit there like a pervert with my dick out onto a shirt. I wasn't a dick magician. So I didn't have to. I didn't want to do this. I struggled for it. I wanted to get it. I'm ready.

I would kiss a girl, make out, get really hot and heavy, rob each other, maybe grab a booby, and then I would pull them, I would take my stuff out. And did you ask? To take my, that's mine. Why would I ask? What am I going to go? I would like to take my penis out right there. That's a hilarious, my defense.

You're on court. You showed her you did. It's my day. I can do whatever I want with it. Yeah, I was in a public space. Yeah, it's my day. You're on court. You showed her your day. It's my day. I can do whatever I wanted. Yeah. We're on public space. Yeah. It's my day. You're honest. I put it in her. It's my day. You're honest. Like salsa dancing. The man leads. Manly. We're here. We're moving here. Then I pull my dick out. Well, I'm a pervert. Already thinking ahead. I'm proactive. And I'm a pervert. Yeah. You're a pervert. I just did all that before.

Yeah, but you didn't even go to the movies yet. I mean, in, you should probably wait till after dinner. We're going to car to make out. I know what's going to happen in the car. So girl would come out. You'd be making out and you a dick is already out under a shirt. Yes. Did you go to dad?

What did you do? She's going to start feeling around for it. I know that. What? She's going to feel around for the big boy. What is she lying? What is she doing? No, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, trying to get me in your crown. I'm not your bottom bitch. Okay. Big boy.

Yeah. I just don't, I think that's it. Is that how you stole this woman in Brazil? Yeah. He was at the table with no shirt on. I was just gonna put on a dude that had to take out. And he touched the, no, but if you did that now, you know how much in trouble you'd be.

If you, if you, now yelling in trouble, if you don't want something to be, I'm doing nothing, I'm going nowhere. Well, now Keith needs help to get his dick up. Oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha He helped me. I want that. I was trying to be too. I can't. I don't have the goods anymore. Like if some girl accused Keith of me to, you know, of me to her now, we just show in court footage of Keith trying to put on the headphones. This is impossible.

I'm sorry. I took a look. There's two of us. There's two of us. There's two of us. There's two of us. There's two of us. We're going to like to look at these headphones on.

Fuck it, eh. All right. We're going to wrap this up. Eh, man, it's good to see you brother. I'm on me. I'm going to let him finish. Let him finish. I'm kind of pimped everybody. Right? He's going to take that away from you. Ian's got a special. When is it coming out? July 12th on Comedy Central, maybe 11 p.m. or midnight

depending on if they show the unscented version or not. So if the unscented version comes on its midnight midnight episode. Yeah, you know, it just show the fucking thing. It's it's it's comedy sexual. You see asshole and shit on cone and you can do whatever you win it. Whatever. Go listen to it. Yeah. Yeah, it'll be on the rap to the right. So it'll be. See it. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be on the rap to you though, right? So it'll be on the rap as well. Yeah, it'll be on that app and it'll be on the website and probably hopefully on Hulu. Because I they they I don't know how Comedy Central work. They show stuff on Hulu, right? Yeah. But I'll find out more about that part. So say it again. What day is it again? July 12th July 12th. Check out Ian Edwards.

Special. One of the funniest guys going. Thank you. Done by all things comedy and comedy central, it's gonna be fucking great. Make sure you spread the word. Yeah, don't let what happened to Joel, this happened to me. Yeah, exactly.

I know. Spread the word for God's sake. Let this be it. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I'm not already with this. I have an announcement. Yeah. My special week coming out

Also July 8th at 10 o'clock. Thank you. No, I'm just We know You're fucking around. It's gonna be coming out. You don't know special coming out. You don't know. If you don't name your fucking special struggle genius, I don't want to talk to you. What? If you don't name your next special struggle genius, watch call came over Dad. I'll write. Who told me to do that? I forget his name. George guy does, uh, what the fuck's his name? Does jokes? Stayed a union in a mantra. Andy Kiddler. Andy Kiddler.

That's a great fucking name. So make sure to check what? You could still capitalize on your stroke of eating. Now my stroke is over. My stroke key is over. I say he's, I'm gonna say this, you know, Keith's always been funny, but he's never been. He's just, he's, I mean, you're the funniest you've been since I met you right now.

Fuck you, man. That's a compliment. I've been doing comedy since fucking 84 What I'm saying is you're doing it good right now. Yeah right now in the last year since the stroke and you took away your ability I showed you my superpowers You took your ability to wait to go like this Now you funny. What the fuck?

I know. I'm just saying you killed, you killed. Nobody wants to fall. No, man. No, he's murdering fucking murder. Yeah, I'm not going to follow. It was a stroke. No, no, no.

Well, he doesn't say he has a stroke. Just getting insulted. He doesn't say he has a stroke into like the last bit. The last bit I let people know I don't need that shit. Yeah, he he he touched his hand. He's fucking man. Oh, man. I'm fucking.

Fuck you. Saddle it. But in that words, once again, his special got to see it. Got to see that shit. You got to see it. The line 12 and that one July 12 12th, comedy central spread the word. Make sure you get it out there. Retweet, retweet, repost, whatever you gotta do.

What's your, what are you on Instagram, Twitter? What do you do? Instagram and Twitter at E&M was comic. At E&M was comic. Make sure you follow them. Go check them out. One of the funniest. Thanks, Greg.

We just announced creeps with kids. Tours just came out. Me, Voss, Bennington and Florentine. We have 16 theaters. 14 up now. Creeps with Kids.com. Buy your tickets pre-sale or whatever. Buy your tickets on there right now. This will come out. This is coming out on the 30th. This is coming out then. Yeah. For ones that special? 12 July. Yeah. Okay. Great. So it's time. Okay. Yeah. So make sure go and get your tickets. We got I mean, we're all over the place. It's 14 shows. We just added two more shows that will be up there and we're kicking it all off at just for laughs.

At club soda creeps with kids. Tour is happening and I'm very excited about it. Creeps with kids. Yeah. It and I'm very excited about it. Creeps with kids. It's fucking gets a fun show. We already did one of them and it was hilarious. So check that out. And then Joe, what do you got? What's that noise?

That's somebody's breathing in the microphone. It's Keith. It's not me. It's you breathing through your nose. Your nose breather. No, you're wrong. All right, every stop. Close your mouth. It's Keith. It's not me. It's you breathing through your nose, your nose breather. No, you're in the wrong. Well, you're...

All right, everybody stop. Close your mouth. Close your mouth. Why won't you close your mouth? You don't tell a man what to do with my motherfuckers. I'll tell a man in a red hat. What you're doing? I'll be up there. You doing a podcast with a festival?

I'd probably will be. I'll be up there. I'm doing the mainline theater at just for laughs, the 20, the 20, the 27th. You're on hour. Mainline theater. Are you gonna date like that?

No, that's great. Oh, all right. Because those, listen man, when they give those out to you, is when they're like, that's the next level of shit. It's exciting. This is it.

It's a dream come true. They have fun. That's like, baby. I'll tell you what it is. When you're up there and you're doing that hour, it's so much fucking fun because usually the festival you're doing like 10 minutes sets, 15 minutes. Everybody makes it from that. That's when everybody gets.

I'm in Sherbrook. Uh, where's that? That's a town like 100 miles outside of Montreal. I was I should have picked Ontario or something. No, we're doing it. No, it's mainly the main length theater. And then then also can I plug a July 12th and 13th Joe, it's an early show got them. I met Gotham here in New York and I want to sell some tickets. So come see me on the 12th and then go home and watch it. It's a big night of

comedy. Go to the 13th. Joe list. What is it? Communion Joe list.com. Uh, one of the funniest out there right now. So, uh, and then of course we have the Pimp KW super star. Oh, fuck what's up? Spend. What do you, what do you got? Nothing. Come see we know where. No, well, I can't do. I mean, still he's broke for it. But that's this weekend. Yeah. That's weekend is nice. One show.

His ears are out there. I'm going to go on five shows. At Bridgeport, at Vinnie's club. Vinnie's five. All right, well, make sure, can we make sure to tweet that out this weekend? What's between it out on YKWD. Because I already sold out, don't even tweet.

It is not so, you're not, you're not fucking it. They told me once I do my fucking special, I'll be selling all over. And then three girls in a keep, right? Three girls. One keeps starts up again for a third or four seasons. Plenty of money in my pockets. It makes me sick. We're walking past. You should have been done so many years ago.

Well, I met you at that college up in fucking Ipswich, Massachusetts. That should have been the end of your career, but somehow it's not. Nah, you know, I constantly keep doing it. I keep doing it the way I do it, you know what I mean? I don't even know what that mean. No, I don't know what do's it mean. The way I do it. You know what I mean? I don't even know what that mean. No, I don't know what do's mean. The way I do it. Still rude. We don't do this. Lathable.com. Make sure to laugh. If you listen to any of your podcasts,

if you're a podcast fan, go to laugh. The best podcast app out there, cross-platform, Samsung, and iPhone, and make sure you go get your YKWD merch. Right now, remember to be happy.com. We got the dude up there. We got the new dude with the glasses, the dude Buddha and we have, there you go, right there. I love that you have my fucking belly button earlier. How'd you get that in there? Jesus Christ.

So go up there and get your merch at, remember to be happy, your official YKWD merch and also right here at patreon.com. We just put up this. It's up there now for you guys. It should be up there by now. Brian Coppeman sat down with me for the live from the pussycat, which we're going back alive from the shed. And you can see Keith, you did one with me.

Yeah. That was fun. That was a great one. We'll be releasing that up on YouTube. That's up there now. So if you want to see if they all go up there first patreon.com slash Robert Kelly, it's the, be a member. If you're a fan of this podcast, you should be on there.

Join. It's a price of, do the $5. Don't do the dollar. It's a price of a cup of coffee. One on ones. We do. I have skits. I put up that I wrote the food stuff's up there. We got the

the live from the Sheds and you always get the podcast first on Thursday night, right, Jack? Yeah, Wednesdays. Wednesdays podcast video and audio for you truckers who want to just listen to this podcast live. Mike, what do you got? You follow me at Mike Beeswore. Let's do your dates real quick. Okay. You're going to be at Lucy's Laughland on Friday, the July 26th.

Yes. You'll be at Laugh it up Pekipsy, July 27th. Yes. You'll be doing the Laughings goal in Atlanta, Georgia, August 1st, your month's third. Yeah. I love that club. And science players in Tampa September 12th, through September 14th. Yep. And then I'm going to be at the stress factory in New Brunswick, October 3rd, and the tour starts then too. So go there. Robert Kelly live from my tickets and the

other, the cruiserkids.com for those tour tickets. Get those tickets now. Who else do we got? Follow Bobby at Robert Kelly live, follow the podcast at YKW Dude podcast. Yeah. And I also have a podcast called OMG likes on YouTube. And what do you got Chrissy? Oh, yeah. You can hire me to design your merch or whatever you want. I make Bobby's merch and a bunch of other people. So at not that cheney, not that cheney.com. I got a slow down. Let's say that. Not here one more year. Not that cheney, like dig, but not that chiny.com. And I got another one. Slow down. So I did not hear one word. Not that chiny, like dig, but not that chiny. So that's me. Or should I ever get Chris Chris, Chris, Chris, chiny.

Yes. Chris, Jayley. Why are you chiny? Yeah, sell some of that pussy. Here's some of that ass. So she a little kid. Yeah, it's cute, right? It's because that little street vibe.

Right? That little street that little skate that skateboard vibe. So that was he right out there. You know, I'm just a handkerchief. You might go there too. What is that? What do you got? What do you got?

What do you have to drop a computer? Yeah, put that down. What do you got? I'm at human places. The easy three comes ahead. It's gangfest this weekend. Oh, yeah, skate. Well, this is later.

So. Oh, yeah. Well, you're listening. Oh, shit, Skate. Well, this is later. So, oh, yeah. Well, you're listening. Oh, shit. Never mind. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha. Hey, guys, I want to what's your name, dude? Yeah.

Nick. Nick and Esther. Nick and Esther. Is that your girlfriend? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, cool. Why did you say it like, yeah, that's like great.

And we got you to what's going on? The watch sister. The watch sisters. And the audience people, okay, they're fans of the podcast. Let me just go to him up. I'm fucking hanging out. Not introduce those. I'm doing it right now. I don't I didn't usually at the beginning because I know how you get you like to play towards the crowd. I wanted you just to be you and not be insecure. First of all, right here, she fell asleep. Listen, you're gonna love this. I have video her at Skankfest last year, while Dan Soto was on stage, literally,

good. Fucking nodding out. Absolutely. She loves coming out. Like she was on heroin. I mean, fucking sleep in front of her. Skankfest, I don't know where I'm going on. That's great.

That's great. I'm glad that you can live life like this. No stress at all. I'll be the one I'm there. I'm going to see you. I'm going to see you. You got to give the hat back, you know that. I give no fucking hat back.

That's good, hello. What the fuck are you doing? This is the, this is your pet, that was your putting it out, sorry. But please never, you scared the shit out of it. What was that? That's fucking fast, last year. Mike, playing the video with the volume up,

I don't know where. I don't know where. I don't know where. I don't ever do that again. Well, so there wait, man Let me get this right. Yeah, your fans of the podcast. Yeah, we love to see the comedy comedy Stop, stop, hold on a second. You don't need to fucking listen. You can just say yeah He's trying to pimp you out of being a fan of my podcast. You are here. Fuck him He's not get listening to me. He's not gonna do anything ever for you guys. Okay?

Yeah. What are you doing? Talk to him. Hey, oh my God, you try to pimp the two sisters. Can you do it in the microphone so we can get it on a fucking recording? So when the cops ask me, I can just play this for them. Who's old us?

Which was old us which was all this What you are then we deal with you What kind of weird shit is that? Because she's older. She's weaker. Absolutely. Okay It's terrible. Hi you guys are the best thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. You know what, Doug? You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now, go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs.

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