Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - 2 Whites On The Way Down

Episode Date: September 23, 2019

Back from filming for Netflix, Bobby has a late night pod with Greg Stone and Mike Cannon to discuss the Shane Gillis situation and how comics react to their past actions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's episode is brought to you by my bookie for all your betting needs this season check out my bookie use promo code YKWD and they'll double your first deposit you play you win you get paid Stink, stick, stick, stick You know what I'm doing I love it, pop I'm stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck Oh nice. Man, I'm going to go. You don't have to. I'm your host, Greg Stone. No, you're not. No, that's...

We just lost a lot of time. Man, I didn't go. You don't do it, I'm your host, Greg Stone. No, you're not. No, no, no, that's, we just lost a lot of patience. Yeah. That's a fucking just great show where you got it. Can I ask you a question as a longtime listener? Yeah, a long time listener, a long time fan. Yeah, first time caller. When did you revert back?

Because I know I heard you had it for the Joe episode. I did it last week and I kind of liked it. I love it. I love it And I want to put it out there to people if you have a we did it a long time ago I put it out there like look if you want if you have a YKWD new song original Please send it in because we we're gonna look for a new Song for the show nice. So if you we're working on one right now Can I give you one right now, can I give you one right now?

Yeah, go ahead. You know what, dude, I'm a loving the time. I talk with my can, Bobby, and dude. Done. But I'm a hundred and a half dollars. You didn't even put a hundred. The podcast wasn't in it. We didn't I?

Yes, did you know what, dude? No, no, you know what, dude. I'm having a good time. Muggeritas and lambs, but a damn. No good. Give me that's 200. I already did too. To try it again, but really try this time. Really try.

Yeah, but don't do it in a, in a Neil Dime note. That's how I say. I will do it in the end. That's the key though. That's the key though. Yeah, I mean, that's my way. I try to get ready. You know what, no, I got to the end. That's a beautiful voice. Yeah, I mean, that's one way I got to try it again. Ready?

You know what? Nah, I got to kneel. You know what? Alright, go ahead, do kneel. You know what, dude? Get on top! Ride it out! Podcast time!

That was not bad. That was pretty good. That was very close. I had to close my eyes. I thought it was, do you have anything? No. That was like your chocolate and chocolate chip move do you have anything? No, I have to have to have to have to have your chocolate and chocolate chip move. You have nothing.

No, not at all. That was part of it. You're not silly like that. Some of the remix that for us. I'm not silly right now. I'm in the biggest head space and just, you know, just. You're really not a silly guy. I am very silly.

Oh, then do one. Uh, but right now I'm not silly. Shake it off. Oh, back. No matter what, you no matter what happens. I'll flow you go Nothing I truly come on jump out the plane jump out of the plane man Let's do it behind the box

Podcasting We're podcasting with our friends, best friends Sitting at a table with midnight on a Tuesday Not with stories, but with topics No topics, no directions No, it's a comic Hang I've never been this hard in my life That was good No, it's a comic I've never been this hard in my life. Oh, that was good never and I've seen a live-man-eally naked. Have you? Kill you dude. I used to I used to hang with old crew

I have no idea you didn't see live-man-eality. No, I don't know. Come on. where am I going? I don't know. I thought you were the set of authors. You see it, pussy. I thought she was in the hospital you used to work at, and you may have like snuck into a room and call it. It's the closest. It could have possibly happened. As I did a speculating exam. A good giant exam.

I thought you could have been like a, a union worker at a theater. I heard farewell to her hanging from the drapes. I just walked by her dream and the room and her door was open. Her fucking twat was hanging out of her silk robe. That's the real story while you changed your name. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Get that fucker, he shot my snatch. It's a total. Everyone who's seen her snatch is dead And that's why I'm Greg Stone Follow the bodies Bobby follow the bodies. Oh, I did You know what did

podcasting. So anyways, it's been a true, you know, here it is. I wasn't going to do this show tonight. I canceled it. I had a guest book. I apologize if you hear this. I was supposed to be on it. Who's supposed to be on it? Higher profile.

Judy and Sean Patton. Judy who. Wow, two great guests. This is the worst show. Oh, this is lights on the way down You know, great that would have been with what happened this week. Yeah, all right, so we'll talk about that I say but I I can't do that because I was way And I just I burned the fucking candle up all the ends. I went out to Vegas on Thursday to run the set,

salvacanos, batch of party. Then I got this Netflix thing, I'm not to run the set, but I got the Netflix thing, and I want to be staying. I was supposed to come home Sunday. I want to be staying, and I went, run, run, run the set, and it got so fucked up running the same set. It got bad. It was great and it died and then I was panicking and then it went from 18 minutes to 13 minutes.

I was like, fuck me and I was forgetting shit. And by the time we shot, it was, you know, unbelievable. It was so what a great show to be of a Miss Pat Adrian, Darnell, Nikki, but Norton, one of my great friends was him. And you know, the film a TV show with him, I've never done a TV show like that with one of my friends. I'm a bird, but Treeshoot is to do it. Yeah.

And I was like, I was just like, oh my God, this is so. You just do down and dirty? No. I didn't, they wouldn't pick me. That's crazy. He tried, he told me, I tried, but they wouldn't. I was just like, oh my god, this is so. You didn't do down and dirty? No, I didn't, they wouldn't pick me. That's crazy. He tried, he told me, I tried, but they wouldn't. I was fine, you know, but. There's so much pain.

That was fun. Is it still there? It was fine, you could. Keep your tongue in jail, it was fun. No one fucking murdered, everybody murdered. So how did it work? Was there a host that brought you each up individually? It was just dude from LA, big fucking murdered everybody murdered. So how did it work? Was there a host that brought you each up individually? It was a dude from LA, big fucking chubby guy

with crazy curly hair. It was a really nice guy. He went out and just murdered. And no, then he went out and just opened him up and then on the first show I went last. So I don't know what the fuck happened. The second show I went first. So basically he was like,

give it up for Robert! He would be off stage and then you just kind of walk out. Okay. Do your fucking time and then you just kind of walk out. Okay. Do your fucking time and then walk off. And then the next person would come up and give it up for Jim. And so you wouldn't see that guy again. That's cool. Yeah.

They filmed two or they filmed two. Two. Two in one night. And they take the best of or they just do only two sets. Well, you they set them to me. Well, the problem was this is my point is I was getting to I went directly from there Three in the morning I went flew to Tampa to my best friend in the world my Calta The best guy. I love him. I was nervous for you. Fuckin love him. Why cuz you wrote like I almost died and I like I

Tied message to you. How much that because I went from the real bed to the win bed? Guys, rich people are rich because of the things that they have, and their beds are better. They're not a little better. The difference between the bed at the real, which is the bed I usually stay in, that type of bed. And the bed at the win is nine million times better. I took a shower and got into fresh panties,

got into some fresh panties and went into this bed and I was like, oh my God. It was like being hugged by 17 angels. Every pillow was around me. Everything that I lied on was soft, kept me warm but cold. Yeah, oh, yeah, that's the trick. Dude, everything about this bed, I was in the middle of it,

and I was like, I'm gonna die tonight. I felt like, okay, here it is, I'm gonna grab my chest in the middle. I'm gonna pull one of these comic in them. Was he sick? No, a little overweight. What happened is the middle of a sleepy just died. I'm like, I'm dead.

This is how you, I've never felt this comfortable. So I'm gonna die. You'd be lucky though to be found dead in such extravagant accommodations. Didn't that break up found in like a motor lodge or something like that? That's the worst. New Jersey, we get them all.

Just find me in the middle of a king win bed. Yeah. Just a shit stain. Just unloading a whole week of buffet food in the real. After we scooped away all the cum. We found a drowning Bobby. They better you drown. You didn't even jerk off.

He just pulled the blanket over. Yeah, it was, it was unbought. Dude, unfuck, you walk in the room, you hit all on. Everything turns on and the drapes and the shades, oh, you hit all off and everything goes black. It was, I can't tell you how great it was. It's like Tony Stark shit. Yeah.

These slippers next to the bed was fuck. I missed radio. I was like, fuck it. I went through radio and I never do that. But anyways, I went to Mike's and then I did two and two Friday and Saturday. Sold out, sidesplitters, fucking fans of the best. See me three, four, five times, dude. I can't fucking, it's the best.

And then I stayed at Mike's house, he's got a mansion. That's the radio guy. Yeah. He's great. I met him with list and I did side splitters. That guy was awesome. He was super funny. Super, he went on to time.

I saw it. Yeah. Wow. He goes, yeah, he might not do time. He had some good jokes too. You know when your friends like I'm gonna do that. Look alright dude Sure enjoy what's going before me? He fucking he killed did people lose it. He killed it. He really did good. That's great I don't think so no, he just does radio. She's yeah, those days are over He's gonna bump me on a middle for me and just bury me now I just created a monster

He's doing all my fucking fat jokes We're both the same guy. We have the same wife Just go up and like yeah, we heard it But it was great, but Anyways, I just wanted I got home Sunday. I didn't want to fucking deal with shit. I was like, I'm canceling it. I'm just gonna stay home. And then I forgot that I have to do the show here anyways.

And then today I was just itching to get back at the mic. Yeah. Well, I bet that show downstairs woke you up a bit too. Well, no, I wanted, I called before. I just wanted to talk, you know, because I love doing my podcast. I love the fans of the podcast. I met so many of them this weekend and I'm like, I'm going to fucking bail on them.

Last week they had Lewis, he need to gray, but it's not me. It's not Italian Bob. And so much shit happened this week, you know, yeah, so much crazy. We get into it. Are we going to wait? Are we going to I mean, where are we gonna do it? Are we gonna do it? Yeah, let's get it thrown.

Let's get it thrown into the deep end. Let's get it through. I mean, here it is. I mean, here's the deal. Okay, here's the fucking deal. How do I say it? I'll just go and say it. I'll just say it.

Q tips are not what they were. Whoever makes Q tips now, never back in the day when you got a Q tip and then you could drill your ear and it would never fall off. They just fall off. Weatheons aren't the same. There's a lot of shit going on. This is what we talk about now. This is what we talk about now.

This is what we talk about now. This is what we talk about now. This is what we talk about now. This is what we talk about now. This is what we talk about now. This is what we talk about now. This is what we talk about now. This is what we talk about now. This is what we talk about now. This is what we talk about now. This is what we talk about now. This is what we talk about now. like whipping it all up. It should be, yeah, it should get, how great is it to kill in your other Q tip?

I mean, sometimes. Yeah, it's like touching your own B. It's nice and feels good. Touching your own B. Touching your own B. Get a little touch in there. What do you mean, touch your own B? What's your touch in a zone?

It's an originous zone. Where should B? Come on, you'll be old man. Get in there. Oh, what? When you accidentally wipe a little too hard, and you're like, that was great. Yeah.

Wait a minute, you want me to. Especially with a wipe. Dry paper, it doesn't hit. Dry paper doesn't feel good. It and you're like, that was great. Yeah, wait a minute, you want me to- Especially with a wipe. Dry paper, it doesn't hit. Dry paper doesn't feel good. It's kind of like, oh, sand paper, and you might have knicked something. Like, but if you get a wipe and it's a good swipe, maybe a little bit of a knuckle in,

you're like, I could make a career out of this. I was wiping my butt one time, my wife walks in, I'm on all fours. She's like, what the fuck happened here? Anyway, well, I escalated to the point of making love to myself. What was my Q-tips for? You didn't lock the door. I never locked the door.

I want her to see. I say watch what you've married. See what you have done to your life. Oh man, I had to masturbate through a baby crying the other day for the first time long with you. It was so difficult, but I mean you got to push through. Because you know, just go on the road. Yeah, I'm going on Friday Yeah, wait, wait to masturbate in the same room. I think so. Yeah, they will not accommodate

Do it. Oh fuck. Just jerk off in the how much is a room? You know, you're staying at the wind. It's probably $20 from the road. Just get it. You're fucking queers. Stop sucking each other off on your weekend gay extravaganza. Yeah, we're doing away to do comedy. Who are we gonna tell secrets to? Just through the double door. Yeah, yeah. Tell to that fucking little chubby ginger. Right.

I know. He's usually who I go to. Uh-huh. All right, well, we're, of course, we're joking. We're talking about all the shame shit, I guess. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Well, you bring it're joking, we're talking about all the shame shit I guess. Mm-hmm, yeah. Mm-hmm. Well, you bring it up before I forget.

What about what? You were about to say the N word, right? Right? And I'm dead. And that's it. And I should dissolve like when Fano snaps. Like every word, just go. I am inevitable.

And you're just just gone. It's just it's it's getting nuts. Here's a problem though. People were like he's they're going back and everybody's history. There's really a week ago when he did this. Yeah, it's not like it's not like he said it too long. I'm thinking about it. I'm like, yeah, man. You know, you There's bullshit. Yeah, I can't go back and people's history. It's like he said it.

He said it literally. He said it like a week and a half ago. That was a Patreon. Well, at least they got past the wall. He did it on the iPhone 11. I was recording on the iPhone 11 Pro. Yeah, I gotta say, it surprised me, because I, I guessed wrong, the slur. I thought it was gonna be a different one. Oh, yeah.

And when you, when it was an Asian guy? No, I just didn't think it was gonna be an Asian slur. I thought it was gonna be one of the others. Oh, one of the other ones. Yeah. Yeah, round him out. What are they? That's better for a lotur. I thought it was gonna be one of the others. Oh, one of the other ones. Yeah. Yeah, round them out. What are they? That's better for a lotter.

I can't even do that anymore. 10 years ago, we whipping these out. Yeah. Are you guys worried? Are you worried for real? I'm done. I'm already done. I'm not, you look at whoever you,

look at, I've only done fucked up shit. I'm a piece of shit. I'm garbage. If you wanna go back and find stuff you can, it's there. Yeah. I'm not the same guy I was 20 years ago, 15 years ago, 10 years ago. I mean, you have a kid, all of a sudden you start thinking

about like, oh, even my act. I'm starting to write cleaner stuff because I'm looking in the future when my kid's 15 and he's gonna be looking at all the stuff. It's like, look, I'm gonna have to deal with what a piece of shit I was. And the things that I've done said, but I've never, I am not racist.

I love all races. I love all people. I love gay, trans. You can do whatever you want in my book, but I make fun of everybody. I've done fucked up shit. And if you wanna go back and get me, you can. That's a thing, right?

All of this was done to bring joy. Yeah, the intent is to do it. Everything was to literally bring joy, and they're like, yeah, break it, hey, it's like, I don't know, you had to subscribe to my podcast and hear that shit. You just don't get it, like you don't get it. I don't know, not you, they, they don't get it.

Well, here's the problem, is they were like, we don't, they don't want them to get fired, but you know, this bullshit is going to get them fired. Yeah. If you don't want to get them fired, you know, maybe contact him. Oh, but it's also not about what do you mean? They don't want them to work it. Like, people are pissed that not only did he get fired which you know It's that's a that's a corporation and all that stuff

But then there's people like oh, you know He's just gonna get fired in a mass a huge following of alt-right Supremacists and then he's gonna tour theaters and it's like okay Mm-hmm, like I mean what do you want him to do die? What's the end? Hey, I'm It's not me, my phone. I don't have, no one likes me. Who's phone is that?

Oh, no, I thought that was. Nobody, here's the thing, I don't even think they want to fire people. They just want, because if someone has something and they can get a piece, then they become famous. And they get their fame. And conspiracy, you wanna hear, can you think conspiracy theory?

Yeah. They hired him on purpose. Yeah. I thought it was a work. I thought they heard him on purpose They knew this this was all ready to go. They knew he was a right wing Trump's reporting fucking had all the shit They're like, I don't worry about it and They wanted to as soon as it happened they had this this kid called them out And they wanted to get attention drawn to SNL this year to the people that, hey, we hired Asian people. We fired somebody who was blah, blah, blah, and you did the right thing and

we know blah, and now everybody's going to watch SNL the first night to see what it's like. They would have watched more if he was on. I think that could have been an interesting opening week of opening night with NPs. I'm not saying. First of all, don't talk to me like, that's not my theory. That's the conspiracy theory that I heard that people think, I think it's bullshit.

Yeah. I did think that they knew but weren't gonna fire them. I thought they were like, we'll have someone with a little controversial, it'll bring heat. And then I think that they maybe just went oh they can be a coward's about what they do fire them Cool, how they do it? Oh, I don't know I mean I don't know if anything is true, but how could you not that I think they for sure in this day I could Google them new he knew I assume he's up front and everybody everybody knew

What he had shit out there? Yeah, they just thought that they could skim through it and you can't you can't play on MZC NBC CBS or ABC you can't be on network TV because they they will fucking they will bend to 17 people. They just, it's corporations, there's millions of dollars. It used to be the alt-right Christians that would get people fired. Now, it's the alt-left. It's the left, these fucking nerds. And it's funny because you want to go back, the kid who ratted him out, you want to go back and, okay, what did you do? Like, have you been, okay, you're, you okay, what did you do? Yeah, like what have you been like okay?

You're you're I've even perfect. Yeah, you don't you've never said anything anywhere like Billy Bird That I was when he was here is like if everybody's text message was released We'd all shut our fucking mouths. Yeah, because we all fucking say shit to 90% of them I don't think they even really I do think Asian people fucking say mean shit about white people my wife says it to me Every night Asian yeah, yeah, and really yeah, she was way too vanilla here. Yeah, she always says that shit It's like her family. They all hate me, but they love me. They hate me, but they love me. Yeah, how do you know they hit you? No, no, they you know they have their crap everyone has a little white grass. Oh Delay How do you know they hit you? No, no, they have, you know, they have, they're, everyone has like a little white grass. He sees them talking, but it's in a delay. Yeah. No, I love her family, but they're, yeah.

But they always do the like, you know, like, two spicy Vogue Greg and I go, come on, I do it. I eat shit just to try to like not be the white guy. Burn your tongue so you can be fucking accepted by some do with a hair, a long hair and there's up a lip. No, they're the best. I didn't really understand what you were saying there, but I love you, and I had those big long hairs.

Oh, yeah, like the, I got it after, once I pictured it, it was hilarious. I was thinking of a hair lip. I'm a mushy mouth. I give myself the bomb end in, but it's not out. No, I mean, but I want to say, I don't think that they're doing it. I think they're just doing it because

it's like if there was no Twitter and it was like yell at these people and there was no like system, no one would do this. It's all fucking champion. Can I say something? Yeah. I think it was, yeah, Judy goes supposed to be on the show. She went out and she went after him. Yeah. Oh, okay. So it would have been, I shouldn't have canceled. It would have been, it just, Oh my God, are we dead? That was an Amber Alert. It's not an alert. Suspect, Hispanic male.

I mean non-spantic. It's just red van, tinted windows, sliding passenger door. Yeah, don't Jesus Christ. What if it was like wearing an Atari shirt, salt and pepper hair, Co-T. That's an Amber Alert. He white males discussing race on a podcast

Yeah, those are careers going down the fucking drain. That's how quick they got now I mean podcasting is ruined everything. Yeah, it really is. Yeah, but these chairs used to be filled Now we're all terrified None of us will show up anymore Because no it has, broadcasting it, because when you used to have to go on radio, you had to learn to say fucked up shit in a clean way. You had to find a way around it creatively.

We could talk about anything you wanted to talk about, but you couldn't say the fucked up words, but you could say them in a weird way. When you release the fucking... Crackin'. I think somebody says that. I think the crackin' on the pig, the pig skin. We just crackin' it.

Anyways, now I'm hungry. Now, you took off all the restrictions and you just said, hey, anybody can do this. And we did. We were just like, fucking pussy, fucking, fag, fucking, sticking in your ass all, I suck, come. And we just said everything to make each other laugh. Yeah.

Cause we had nothing holding us back. Well, and like I had to, over the years, I seriously, I had to say, I don't wanna say that anymore. I don't wanna do this anymore. Or, you know, and it's like, you're a fag if you don't say that. It's like, I don't wanna say that anymore. You, like, you evolve out of it. Some, and some, like,

well look, I don't give a fuck what you do. Like, I think you should be able to say and do whatever you want. And if you have people that like listening to you, as long as you're not hurting people, is you trying to kill people or hurt people, or like it's not like fucking, like the cool cause clan, or shit.

Yeah, yeah. I don't give a fuck. If you're trying to make somebody laugh, but that's the thing, it's like everything's funny to you guys. Yes. It can be. Well that's the trick.

If you tell me something's not funny, I'm gonna try to figure out 15 ways to make it funny. Yeah, anything, I've not to mention, I've done the other way, like, sorry, cut you off, but I've done where nothing is funny. I've lived my life that way. I've lived it completely cynical, depressed, angry, upset, and violent.

And that's not how I choose to live my life. The only way that I can actually get through the days is by behaving the way I behave. People don't understand comics that we're not doing this because we want to. We're kind of doing this because we have to. This is the only way we can survive. I grew up in an abusive Irish Catholic fucking household. What do you want me to do? Yeah, I mean, things are funny to us that aren't funny to you, but that's why we became this. And that's why you come to see us because you're fucked up too. Yeah.

Not everybody's supposed to like get into this. Stand up comedy. But that's what podcasting went and fucking a rye because we were so focused and we brought it to the club. That was the place. Now it's just out there for anybody to hear. And that's where it's fucked up. Cause we're literally dropping off our garbage

on somebody's doorstep that they might not want. And then they have to hear it and be like, what the fuck is that? I mean, I forget every time that I record one of, you know, Irish goodbye or something like that or even this, I forget that there are people that haven't listened to every episode listening. Yeah, all is, I assume that they're constantly within the context, they understand the dynamic, they get how silly it is and how everything is a complete joke, but no, there's new people,

and especially when there's like, now popularized, you know, lynchings on New York Times and Vulture and all this stuff, where it's like, now even more people are gonna be like, what the fuck is this podcast shit? And they're going to check in and be like, what a nightmare medium of entertainer. We're all fucked. Yeah. I mean, if you remember everything you said on the podcast, so if they come to you tomorrow and they say, dude, you got your own show on NBC, primetime. Let's go upfront front to happen.

And what are you gonna do when you go back through your shit? Are you fucked? I go, my name is Greg Coraluzzo. I'd love to do this. I love to, here's my mustache, dude. I mean, I think Libson, if Libson wants to make him a lot of money, they should just have a self-destruct button. You could just call them and they just wipe everything clean.

They just squirrub your shit in 30 seconds. Yeah, and it's like, hey, I got the call. You just hit the lips and button and they fucking burn everything to the ground. Well, shit, dang it. I would have went. Oh, I mean, I would have went, I would have hired a company to find every fucking ounce

of everything out there and have it deleted. Dude, that's it. I mean, all of it, because that kid was waiting. Whoever that fucking person was, they had that. Dude, it was like announced and he was dead. It was crazy. It was an assassination.

Yeah. People are being, back in the day, they used to shoot people in the head with a rifle from like a far, like a hundred yards, a 200 yards. Now they're just assassinating people's, through an ethernet cable. Through an ethernet cable. They're just going Bob Kelly, huh?

Boom, there you go. Well, I mean, as time as you say that word. If Shane doesn't look at it like, SNL was ever a chance, like think about it. If he just goes like, look, I know what's gonna happen, but my fans are gonna love me triple after this terrible day tomorrow. Like, I don't know, it's probably gonna work out

for at least his people. I think he's getting to that point. I think he's at that point now, but still, you are right. You are almost in the Illuminati of show business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could have been like, that's like an Sandler trajectory. SNL is Illuminati.

There's no, you don't know how to get in. There's no rhyme or reason to it. Everybody thinks it's three characters and two originals. No, it's not. Nope. It's this one fucking old guy. Takes a shine to you. I have a line kill.

You're in. And when you're in, it's hard to get out. Now what, there's a whole lot of this guy. It's like you're about you hating Asians. And when you're in, it's hard to get out. Now, when it's a year about you hating Asians. Yeah. Well, think about it. Once you're in, he wasn't in. He wasn't. But think of the millions of guys you don't know. Do think of all the people that are in that think of Tracy Morgan who times he fucked up. America loves him. He can write on the view. Yeah. Are you doing? No, Joy, I'm going to you pregnant.

I'm a fuck you on the view. Yeah, are you doing? Yo, Joy, I'm gonna you pregnant. I'm gonna fuck you in the back. No, consensual sex. I'm gonna put my fingers in your asshole joy, Bayhaw. And you're gonna like it. Fuck that. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. My little girl, my billet. Lauren, get me out of this chair. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, yeah. True. I mean, there's a lot of things to go down, but here at fuck it, he was right there, man. Poor Shane. I mean, I mean, were you happy?

Like, when I heard he, I don't know the kid. I know him very briefly, I'm sorry. You screamed out of my, or screamed out of my, on this fuck. Yeah, when he first came out, he was a fucking douchebag, but I knew, excuse me, I'm so sorry for my fucking ass. I'm just feel bad for the fucking truck drivers. You're driving the middle of your set was fantastic. I just, because I had a stake-hums tonight.

You had stake-hums? I didn't even, I still made stake-hums. I did, I had a... I thought it was like, stop making them when you're 10. I had stake-hums with a buttery pasta. No, I had a fucking shwamba from across the street, and it's a nester. This Jackson, if you're nesting.

But I don't know, I know him from that, but I actually grew to like him over and I saw it stand up and I think he's really funny man. And for what he is, he's unique. He's a conservative, big fucking off. And I like that. I, you know, there's not too many of those guys around. Yeah, you want diversity of minds. I do. And I like that he was around. And then when he got it, I was like, that's, I felt good about it. Yeah. You know, you felt good about, like, oh, all right,

because you kind of know who they're gonna pick. Yeah, yeah. You know who they're gonna fuck it back. Yeah. Oh, this person, it's just a, it's a palette, right? I mean, I think it's a palette. And who cares, that's what they do. But when they picked him, I was like, well, he's a big oof. He's an, you know, he's an old girl, he's shrek, right? Yeah.

And I was like, wow, they picked him because he's funny and he has a thing. And then when they were taking away, it's like, motherfucker, dude. But, you know, there's, I heard there was other things that he did too, he attacked some guy, right? Oh, Andrew Yang, the... Who had a kid at the school.

No, no, no, no, no, some comic kid. On some part. Oh, what's his name? Oh, Chris Gatherer. Yeah. Yeah, and they're managed by the same people. So like, no, no, I don't know that. Yeah, I believe they are.

No, Shane is with my manager. Oh, okay. I heard that. Oh, but Gatherer is with the same company. Same company I believe they are. No, Shane is with my manager. Oh, okay. I heard that. But guess third is with the same company. Same company. I'm sorry. Yeah, why'd you attack him like that? Who?

Cannon? Yes. I hate him. I hate him and I've never respected him. I didn't know that. I make sense. It's crazy you put us in the same room together. It usually comes to blows.

Well, it was in the years. I end up sucking his day. I'm always right. We always, it always ends in a 69. Yeah. I didn't mean to. I didn't hear it. I'm sorry, Mike. You fucking dick.

Oh, you always like to use the same arms. No, I'm kidding. Yeah, fucking weird. Fucking weird. Yeah, I think I think the biggest bummer about it. But he, oh, I was just saying, he attacked that guy. Yeah. I heard that too And he was kind of unjustified. Wasn't he calling the fucking something? Oh white. Yeah, a white what

I'm not saying any of this shit in more than a Dagger but the other More of the call to I don't know man. Yeah, he called it. He said it was it was white faggot comedy You're not saying it so you can report it as news. Yeah, I Legitly just say allegedly the whole thing the whole thing sucks in the sense that now white faggot comedy or something like that. You're not saying it so you can report it as news. Yeah, I mean, allegedly. Just say allegedly. The whole thing sucks in the sense that now, there's very clearly divided lines within comedy.

There's comedians coming after him. There's comedians defending him. There's all this stuff, different various, schools of thought on it. Shit is just so contentious now. When you go to a show, like you don't, me going to a show or any of us, like you don't know who thinks

were racist pieces of shit. And it's like, no, I just like my friend and I don't think he's a racist piece of shit despite what you have him say. Like it's just that, like, yeah. You know, I don't know what to tell you. It's fucking, it's stressful walking into situations, not being, you know.

Yeah, welcome to the club. Yeah, yeah, I was, you know, I think I was, we were all fucking with O and A when Anthony got kicked off. Oh, really? He's one of the funniest guys in the world. Yeah. And you have people going, how can you be friends with him? It's like, when he's fucking, he's funny.

Yeah. My friend, what did he do? See, that's my problem, right? Is it? My big problem with all this is that if you've, one thing doesn't make you a bad person. You know what I mean? It's like, you got one thing.

Two things? No, but like, three? You know, you have a friend who's a Trump supporter. You know, and it's like, yeah, you've support Trump, but 99, there's so much other shit that I get from you that I love from you. Yeah, but I don't understand that too, as the people who are losing friendships,

you support Trump. It's like, I don't understand that too as people are losing friendships. You support Trump. It's like, I don't hear a fuck of somebody's support Trump. No, it's like, actually, they seem more courageous to me because everybody doesn't support Trump. Yeah, because it's easier. If there's a guy like Shane

that does support Trump, I was like, I can view. I don't give a fuck what you support. As long as you're not like I said, you're not supporting fucking killing people. No. I think either way what sucks is- Oh, that's what you're doing if you support Trump.

Because he's murdering people. In top intentional political chaos. Injecting that into social situations really sucks. That's why I don't get it, that's the latest reason why I don't get along with my dad because that my baby shower, he's screaming about Trump and talking about Alexandra occasional cortex,

all this horseshit where it's like, but he does like a celebration in a fun time. There's no need to have this conversation. Sounds a good shower though. It was pretty good. I mean, I've been to some baby show, they're boring. Oh, he was talking to the Stefano, and he was like, you know, I'm trying to work out.

You look pretty good, and then Chris said he watched me 10,000 calories. And he's like, what are you doing? I want a fucking snitch, fucking Chris is. I mean, you know, what a pussy. He would keep his eye on my father. Fuck sucker. Snitch. He'd dad out on the get start thing, Bobby. Who's that? Me, Mike. Oh, so a lot of people are attacking Chris get hurt as someone who called out Shane, but the actual thing was he said he called him to apologize. Yeah, about what he said. That's what Shane Shane called him to apologize.

Yeah, I might say his name wrong. So no, but Shane called him to apologize. He called him to apologize about his two comments. And at the end, he'd also say he'd definitely let me know that he felt he had crossed the lines. So he's not one of the things he was saying to fire Shane. Yeah, no, he actually had a really great tweet. Gethran had a really great tweet that was like,

he doesn't believe in firing and all this stuff. Exactly. He shouldn't fire people. And it was a great learning moment for everybody. If they kept them on and fucking dealt with it through comedy sketches, high fuck faces, we could all laugh. If your genius writers could have wrote something epic

with him and the other Asian guy. I mean, not to be hokey, but what a true legitimate healing possibility. Yeah, it could have been something as opposed to this fractured. I know it is hokey, but you're absolutely right. When are we going to fucking learn from these things and grow from these things and let somebody evolve from them

instead of you're splitting us down the middle. Now, people have to go, well fuck you. I'm back in shame, you guys are assholes and they go, well fuck you, you're a racist. I'm not a racist, go fuck you. Now we're divided. But you keep them on and most of the people don't say anything, we just watch it go down and then we watch him apologize or whatever. That's another thing too.

You don't ever apologize. Shut the fuck up. You apologize if you mean it. Do it again. Do it again. Do it again. Get that money here. I think that fucking is how to do it. You suck that dick man.

You suck that Asian dick. You have to be blowing Ronnie Chang the next day but I came out of that. I'd be literally eating as much low man as possible. It's like Trump taking the picture with the Taco Bell ball. You're just fucking fistful of low man. I sent Shane a $25 gift card to PFJ. I did.

And I wrote, if you don't use this for six months, if you do, we're disguise. But, yeah, it's fucking weird, man. Because you have to, I mean, I can't, I guess I just say what I say. You know, but I always, if you do, you know, when you're on a podcast, I used to say so much fucked up shit to get a laugh. And sometimes it didn't. And sometimes I was like, why?

I remember calling Louis once and going, when I leave on a, sometimes I feel dirty. Yeah, I feel like I fucking was a part of something that I didn't want to be a part of. Yeah. That isn't me inside, but I was just trying to fit in. And I was trying to belong. I mean, some fucked up shit. And I was just like, I feel bad. And he's a guy, me too. And I talked to Patrice about it too. And I was like, yeah man, sometimes you, you just in the room and you get caught up in it.

And, but you can't hold us accountable to that shit. Yeah, because we're taking shots from the half court line. And this is the hardest fucking business to try to be left. You're gonna get something, you're gonna go right over the rim. It's like these are hard shots. I'm just trying to make people laugh. I'm trying to make people laugh. There's no one cares. I mean, if I had a chance to talk, it would probably

have had a few more in it. Fucking pieces of fucking. It is. It's a talk. I don't care. I'll do that. I'll talk for the whole hour. You, I was, see, I almost had a bunch of slurs. And all of us just came out. This is how we all die. You thought if you just had it screaming at me, I don't know. I told me a dirty walk. But Liz, some of the funniest things said when people come up with new slurs from places.

Yeah, I mean, I've had them said about Irish and Italian. It's fucking hilarious. Yeah. I laugh so hard at some of the greatest Italian slurs ever. Yeah. Oh for sure. Yeah. I mean, I have an Italian kid now more or less for the ability to tell jokes about it's super fun to be able to just toss racism at my wife's wife. Well, see, that's the whole thing, right? I mean, I used to fucking, like, I like fucked up jokes, because we're comedians, and we're constantly hearing jokes. It's like when you masturbate too much, right?

Eventually, you gotta move up to some crazier, more fucked up shit. As comics, we're just done. It's like, yeah, I got this weird shit, can I get me off now? You know, I need the fucked up shit as comics, which is done. It's like, yeah, I got this weird shit, I get me off now. You know, I need the fucked up shit to get me off. But also, I think that there were, we're in that moment, you know,

it's not like we're trying to make a crowd laugh, we're trying to make other comedians laugh to a lot of these on these blockbusters. Yeah, yeah. So that's like, it's harder. It's harder. And the crowd is voyeurism. Like they're watching, like they're not supposed to be here

And that's kind of the illusion that you set right but yes, and they're also I mean these people too are trying to collect data Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're collect now These people these rats They're out there collecting data there came Regina, Analytica. You know when people before you know you're as a comic and you walk in and as you're coming up certain people follow you, write jokes, if you ever gonna attack that guy or go at it with that guy verbally, you always kinda write a bunch

of jokes about his hairline or his nose or his chin or his name, you know what I mean? Or his shirt, you know what I mean? Or his eyes, or his heritage. Or his heritage, or his sweaty forehead, you know what I mean? Or a shirt, you know what I mean? Or his eyes, or his heritage. Or his heritage. Yeah. Or his sweaty forehead, you know what I mean? Yeah.

How many more things do you have to describe about you before you go, what? I was like just thinking about my wife, and I was like, man, I wonder if she'd be mad about this. And Mike's got a cute kid. Hi, I'm not. No. No, but there's people out there

way like collecting this data, going to shows, watching podcasts, marking the time, getting the footage, keeping it, because it might, if you fucking make it, I'm gonna release it. Here's what Mike can and thinks about, Gaze. I have one. Yeah.

But it does it, because this is what I'm kind of thinking about now, is like, you know, obviously having a kid, and this is, he's gonna grow up in a different world that I did, and this seems like obviously a much less forgiving world, even though that emotional communication is supposedly at an all time high,

empathy and extending, understanding towards each other, is probably at an all time low. So it's like, how do people kind of slalom through that course and make it out okay while being a fucking intact human being? Because I think of myself as like relatively self-aware, I'm moderately intelligent.

I feel a lot. I love my friends. I'm super empathetic towards other people, towards, you know, I'm super socially open-minded. But obviously, if people heard jokes that I do, now I'm watching people take such a hard line on certain jokes that it's like, oh, it doesn't matter. Like, I'm automatically an alt-right piece of shit, which is weird because then the alt-right when they hear me on podcast call me a faggot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

So I have to let you know. Well, I promised someone. I think we're in the middle. As most comics are kind of in the middle, because we're common sense and we're analytical and we pick things apart and we find the truth and stuff. So when you look at for the truth, you're kind of have this comment sense in that. So things, you know, they don't want you to ask in quite they don't want you even questioning that shit. It's follow the rules. If you question the rules, you're fucked on who the rules.

Well, it's weird that it's not ask about is gay this is gay that you can ask. You do it. You follow the rules. These are what we are. And it's like it does it let me ask you real question is Saying a racist joke does that make you a big it? Does saying a racist joke make you a big it? No? No, well Dave Shapado just did a whole special on Fucked up shit like that. Yeah, and he basically called the Rats a bunch of fucking pieces shit, and you know what they did they laughed. When he goes, I'm Chinese! My wife spit her soda out and wouldn't stop crying. And I'm like, well, yeah, she was very offended in her no.

No, like she was like, she laughed so hard. I always remember I go, oh yeah, you're a real person. She's a real person watching this. She gets it. She laughed. She's a real person watching this. She gets it, she laughs. She's not on Twitter, fucking trying to take people down. She's not what I was looking at. That's the one thing, is it such a small percentage of those people?

Yeah, I wish they would do the numbers. Like thousands of people didn't give a fuck. Right, right. Most people didn't give a fuck about Shane Gillis being on it. Who gives a fuck? Mine wife still doesn't even know who Shane Gillis is. After all of this, she still doesn't know. Mine I know you feel this way too.

It's like, Ever had it again? Yeah, and the whole of my stomach, that food won't fill it. Besides a bit of snake-hums. But yeah, I mean, but when a joke goes poorly and you actually hurt somebody's feelings, you feel terrible. Like, and it's similar to what you used to say about like every time you fought,

or something like that, if you actually inflicted damage on somebody, even though you won the fight, you walk away feeling like a piece of shit. And obviously like being a comedian with your intention to be... To bring joy! To bring joy. If you slip up and fuck up and tell a joke that like actually hurt somebody's feelings, there's pretty much nothing worse. Oh yeah. Can I say something though?

Oh yeah. You guys keep saying to bring joy. I don't think we're elves. I think I'm enjoying myself and that. Yes, I think it's more satisfying when I get a laugh. It's for me. Yeah. I don't see, it's for me. Yeah. I don't see, I want to fight you on this because I hate when comedians say that shit when

they're like, I want to fuck, I want to fucking get the dirt with you, man. Can you only get the dirt? I want to get in the mud. No, but you bring, making people laugh is something that makes you feel good. Sure, the later feeling is, don't make me use this so I can't get in with that. That thing doesn't matter. It's like, I'll fucking, I'll trim a fucking little tiny turtle in your I would love to cut the fucking base of my dick not with this no to this is the new man'scape. So no Nick no next dude

No, Nick's listen to that. Did you give me that one like the tooshie like you're getting like a No, this new sponsor. I love these guys before they were a sponsor Good no this new sponsor. I love these guys before they were a sponsor Manscape to trim your asshole. No nicks on your balls zip no nicks What was the last thing I said? Does anyone remember? Yep, Mike. Mike? Mike, go ahead. No, because you're the bringing joy, right? I don't think so. You should know yourself, but if you didn't enjoy

making people happy, you wouldn't be in this business. And yes, you get something out of it, but everyone gets something out of it. Out of... Out of... But it's not selfish. Even philanthropy, they do it because it brings the joy. Everyone gets.

If you break anything down and why we do anything, it is for a reason. joy. Everyone gets, if you break anything down and why we do anything, it is for a reason. That's for you. But you're doing it. Yep, but I'm telling jokes because I kind of have to. I, it's not because I'm not, I'm not trying to bring joy. I'm not trying to bring joy. I'm not, the joy that people get when people come up to me

after you make me so happy makes me feel good. Yes. I'm doing it to get that last. That's because you're 20 or 30 years in. When you, the reason you became a comedian is because you originally making people, you got reactions from getting people happy. I became a comedian because it was just something I did and I wanted to get pussy.

Hey, pussy, pussy. I don't know, I don't know. People whoussy, pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy.

Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy.

Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. to go on stage to get laughs. But if you had to walk out and jump into a helicopter right after a show and didn't hear anything from anybody,

I think you'd still be fine. I think you'd still, look, Billy Bird doesn't do a meet and greet after he does the garden. No, it's okay. He goes to a hotel and he's fine. He doesn't, he made them laugh. He got the laughs. Now, did he make 20,000 people happy?

Yeah. It's great. I love that. Absolutely. There's nothing better when someone comes up. You made me laugh and that's awesome. Great. But if that person never comes out,

you'd still be fine. If everyone, at the end of every show, everyone hated you, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you didn't bring them joy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Don't you feel like you're actually just this is your because I feel like this I won't put it on you This is like my desperate attempt to like kind of communicate myself to people I think that's what it is, but that's for you Right you're trying to communicate yourself to people but I think it's I think it's I think it's your My medication. It's my therapy to go on stage and be able to tell people like when I was in Juve Hall,

I made them laugh to survive. Yeah. And for me to survive, I laughed or became my survival mechanism. And it wasn't drinking or doing heroin, it was getting laughs. But also it's to feel a part of, right? Part of what?

A part of humanity. Like, you know, I mean, I was just, I was just, I was just, it feels lonely right now to see how many people have hardcore beliefs about each different thing and how you can be called a piece of shit and all these different things online. It feels really lonely out there now. So comedy is almost a saving grace where it's like in a room full of people, they laugh and you're like, okay, somebody else shares this.

But I'm going on stage for me But I'm going on stage for me. I'm going on stage for me. When I step on that stage, it's for me. I'm going on stage to tell you about what happened. I'm going on stage to tell you about when I broke my ribs. No tubing. Man, that's such a bit. Okay, so that's all I'm doing. I'm not doing it expecting anything out of you.

Okay, except. But follow that logic through. If you really did believe that. I was trying to. You were not to. You said, take a little Bobby Kelly. Here's how we do. We digress.

Okay. If that is true, then you can remove the enjoyment out of it. The enjoyment you bring people. And if you remove the enjoyment, you would stop doing it. Well, I'm not saying, I don't like the enjoyment. I'm not saying, I'm saying a little bit about both. I'm saying a little bit about, but I'm not saying, I'm not Santa Claus going to do this for joy.

There is a very self, you have what? There's a very self. Santa Claus is much thinner than you. I think comics are very selfish. I think you're doing it for selfish reasons. It was not a bad thing. You're going on stage to scratch your itch

because you have to, real comedians. I'm talking about the guys. No, I'm saying you are. I'm saying the guys who, and the girls and the vems. I'm saying, Was that you gargling their dick? It was me spending out there coming. I'm saying that we do this because we have to,

not because we're trying to bring joy. The guy with the fucking puppet is trying to bring joy. The guy with the magic going into an elderly home is trying to bring joy. I'm trying to go up and fucking murder. I think you're trying to bring joy on this super higher level. I'm thinking it happens, but I'm not true. It happens. It's a result of my comedy that is I'm doing for me. I'm thinking it happens, but it's a result of my comedy that is I'm doing for me. I'm not doing it for them or you.

I'm doing stand up because I have to. I've always done it. I've tried to get out of it. I can't. I'm doing it because I have to. I have to go up and, honey, I'm going, when I broke my ribs, I went on stage that week with a rib bra. And I had to go talk about it because that's how I get it out.

Yeah. Dude, if you were a refrigerator salesman and someone said, hey, if you sell, if you get really good at being a refrigerator salesman, everyone's going to call you a racist. We're going to ruin your life. Like what the risk right now of being a comedian is so high if we didn't need to do this, most of us would quit. Yeah, but here's what happened. I, this is my theory on comedy and I could be wrong

is that money, once the money gets involved, once that, you know, once it's just all about money. Yeah. I mean, this rock stars, man. Comics are rock stars, making thousands of millions of dollars between theaters and arenas. And that is directly from the industry. That is from the other side.

That is from show business. That is not from comedy. Some people. No, I'm saying that, no, they went, we can make money off of this. Take the industry. Their job is to make as much money as they can. So if selling fucking, you know, french fries is the thing, they're going to go get the best french fried makers all of them. And they're going to put french fried places everywhere. And that's going to be the

next comic. But you know, when rock stars with that, you know, that's what they did when, you know, when when dancers dancing was big for a minute. Remember how dancing was big? They went and got all these dancing, dance off and who can dance and you think you can dance up to the street. Yeah. Remember American Idol, same shit.

Now it's comics. Comics have been big. So they're making millions of dollars off comedians. And when you get into that realm, now you're subject to what famous people actors. Actors are corny. Yeah, they're always corny and they say the right thing and they do the right thing all the time. You never hear from and they never act fucked up in public and they don't do stupid shit. And when they do like, Alec Baldwin, we get it recorded. We fucking condemn them. He's not perfect. He's like, he said, you fat pig to his daughter, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's because they, they pretend to be perfect for us. And then comics

have never done that. We were always the fucked up ones until the industry could make millions elevated this shit to, you know, what do you think? I think this is an over correction to the current political climate. Like they could, but they could, they could, yeah, I know, take other people down. Maybe, sure,

but I think that if they wasn't that, there are so many people focused on comedy. They're right. Like comedy is now the industry that people are focused on to take down people because they believe that it holds some sort of power that it could navigate an entire cultural thought process and way that we go.

But they weren't able to take down Donald Trump. They weren't able to stop him from saying whatever the fuck they wanted to say. And now it seems like they focus that energy and they started on an entire business. Well, it's when the guy comes home from work and he beats his kid, because he can't beat up his boss.

Right. That's what's, yeah, I totally agree. Funny people don't care about the, funny people don't give a shit. You know what I'm saying? Like Billy Bird doesn't care. Dave should go. He could afford to care.

Did he never cared? Yeah, I mean probably. Dave should probably never care, Patrice never cared. I don't care. Norton doesn't care. I'm not taking care of myself with them. Care about, wait, care Dave she felt never care, Patrice never cared. I don't care. Norton doesn't care. Not to compare myself with that. Care about what? Hang on a second. Care about, um,

People coming after them. Well, care about, I mean, look, we kind of know it's always been out there because of the way we lived our lives. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's, it's like, look, look, if you can find, if you wanted to find stuff on Norton, it's right there. It's called finding. It's called picking it up. It's just not looking to remove anything else. Yeah. Well, see, this is the thing about us, right? They go after Shane, they got to Shane because he got SNL, right? If they don't really get it, what did Jettel next say? What did he tweet? That, oh, so this is my favorite time a year where they hired somebody to go through. No No, he said what was his tweet? It was it was a great tweet if you wanted to go find

A tweet he'll find it. It was a perfect thing if you want to go find If you want to go back and let Greg finishes point. Sorry buddy. I didn't I know I know what I got to keep calling it out. I'm a Yammering I do a lot of coffee today is what we do I'm excited but if they didn't give a shit they gave a shit about Shane Gillis right not Shane we're Shane right that's not what I'm talking about what I'm trying to say I'm trying to make a fucking point I'm gonna barrel through this fucking point because I think it's fucking strong and I'd like to actually hear what you guys have to say about it is if they gave a shit about I. I just, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That was the faked laugh of it. Mine? Yeah, it was in the rate. I was like, I don't even care about what I'm saying now, but I'm doing it to prove a fucking point that I'm gonna say what I want to fucking say. I just say it, I mean, it's getting ridiculous.

You're not letting me talk! None of you have let me talk. Jesus, if I throw a comma in, you put a brick wall. What are you saying? What I'm trying to fucking say is, Jesus Christ, I didn't even get to a comma that time. There's so many sleeping upstairs, I mean. There's so many sleeping,

they should not be sleeping here. Hi guys. I'm quitting the podcast. No, go, go, go, you can't quit the podcast. What I'm trying to legitimately say. The business you could, but not the, no, go, go, you can't quit the podcast. Well, I'm trying to legitimately say the business you could. No, I can't, I can't really. If I honestly, yeah, no, let me keep talking to you. You're reading Jez on X tweets.

This is a real fun thing. Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm trying to multitask. There's no more fucking task. If you would talk to him, I would screw it. Yeah, I'm talking to him because if I talk to you, you just start talking to something else. I go ahead. Let's get here. Say something basic. Go ahead No, I'm gonna. I will have my wife. How about Mike? What do you think about you're literally I'm talking to you

You're looking at me. You're talking a mic in the middle of my sentence. I forgot you forgot You read the fucking tweet. Okay, what do you say? Please? I was trying to say was I truly enjoy the annual tradition of trying to destroy a new S and L. Performer on the happiest day of their life Really? Did you listen to that? That's the goddamn Jezl Nick we you are looking for that's how little you were listening to me that I said the thing you were looking for Damn it. Well, I love you passion. God damn it. So what were you gonna say they would have taken down Shane? How do you know the whole thing about this eyes, eye to eye, Bobby. Eye to eye, Bobby. To Sha Sha, Sha Sha, I don't know.

Well, I'm just gonna tweet it. I'm gonna tweet what I wanna say. Just go, come on. Just go. I'm just gonna give you literally taxing all of us. No, what I'm trying to say was that if they gave a shit about, yeah, I don't even know what I was trying to say. I don't make this simple for you right you're not a crazy sports fan right you're not

you're not a stats guy not a stats guy I love watching if you found a hundred bucks on the street would you pick it up would you keep walking pick it up of course you'd take the money so why wouldn't you keep picking winners and not betting on them why would you do that why would you watch a game of your friends? You know you're sitting there going, I think they're gonna win. Of course you want to make it fun. You get the pats are gonna win. They're gonna win every week. Why not win money on that? Right? I mean, you're right. Why not make why don't make it interesting and say I don't think the pats are gonna win this week Because they're not gonna they might not win every week. I doubt it, but they might not. Mm-hmm, right?

Put a bet on it. That's why I go to my bookie. My fans have been going not win every week. I doubt it, but they might not, right? You put a bet on it. That's why I go to my bookie. My fans have been going to a two. I love you. You're supporting the podcast. How with your deviants, with your gambling, with your sports fan gambling, you're combining podcasting and sports

and gambling all into one to have a good time on the weekend. You go to my bookie dot com. It's fast. It's easy. And they pay you when you win. Let's face it when you're betting is just as important as who you're betting on. Right. That's what you want to do. Mybookie.com. Do the smart thing. If you're going to bet this football season, use my bookie bet with my bookie. If you're the kind of guy that likes to bet a little and win a lot, try parlay. You know, the parlay is freebie. Google it. I'm with you talking. If it, Google it. I'm with you talking. If all your picks come through, you'll multiply your winnings. And no matter how you bet, the NFL season is the best time of you to bet. It really is. Because I mean, there's not that many games. It goes by pretty fast. And,

you know, the sport is so crazy right now that, you know, you never know, you never fucking know. Can I ask you a question about this? Yeah. So I didn't know this is a real thing. This, back in my day, you had the meaty guy. You had a meaty guy in an alley. Break your fucking legs. Yeah.

If you didn't do it, no, not anymore. Right, you can go to mybookie.com on your phone. Use promo code at YKWD to the avatar. What does it say? Activate. They wrote the wrong thing. Here's what you do. You can use promo code YKWD to activate the offer. That's promo code YKWD. You join now at my bookie. You know what they're going to do? Double your first deposit. So if you put a hundred in, what are they gonna do? They're gonna double it. At least 150. They double your money.

No, they double it. That's great. I don't know how to do it. That is kind of great. It is cool because, you know, look, if you like, if you want to just bet on the game, you put a hundred bucks in and they'll double it. And then you can bet more.

And if you lose a little bit, there you go. But you'll probably win at mybookie.com. Use promo code YKWD, again, to activate it and it supports my podcast. So if you're a fan of this podcast, if you're betting anyways, go to mybookie.com, use promo code YKWD to activate offer. And that's it, mybookie.com.

All right. Dot at AG today. You play, you win, mybookie.com. All right? Dot at AG today. You play, you win, you get paid. That's the way it works, mybookie.com. They give a shit about Shane. Well, no, it's not about Shane. They go after Shane because he's getting money. I was actually following your point about the money, right?

But if they really gave a shit about this stuff, about taking people out, they would be coming after people like me and you, but they don't come after people like us because we're not on Mount Rushmore. But if they wanted to really take out people, they would be going in the, they wouldn't be going in MLB,

they'd be in the fucking Cyclone's game. Yeah, but my point was this, is that guys like Gesso Neck or, no, it's like like yeah, go ahead. That's my job. That's what I do. Of course. I say fucked up shit all the time.

That's what we do. If we own it, I know when Norton would own dating Trannies back when, you know, you're a fag. You know what I mean? Like nobody admitted. Shocking. Oh my God, I had a training bar across your house. I would shake at night late at night Next to my wife should be snoring. I'd be like I could just literally it's a diner next door

Turkey club and some fries and I'll sneak downstairs and I can go for a premise walk just suck a cock real quick No, I don't want to I'll suck the cock before I have I have the fucking turkey because I don't want to get mayonnaise on or dick. I don't want to. Yeah, dude. But Norton all of a sudden was like boom, boom, and obviously it's okay to say that stuff. It's not taboo. It's not he didn't get just fucking yeah. Yeah, I like training. He's go fuck yourself. And then we were like, yeah, we don't care. You're right. We like training to do.

Well, let's get carried away. Well, I'm different on this side of the table. It's not Mike. Oh, you're into it? Who's not listening? I don't think you're not. I'm not. Sexually, I'm really not.

Really? Yeah. I tried to put myself in that position when you and Joe were talking really like about it. I was like, I was like, oh, could I do it? No, it's just not for me. Oh, Joe is a fucking. He's a shit. Oh, he wants to marry. Joe? Dorosa. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't see what I like, but I'd be the door open.

Yeah. The door meeting your asshole. I just, I think that, I think that if you don't care, and if you don't care about being on SNL, I guess, is you just care about being a stand-up comedian and whatever that comes with that. I think us just being on the road and selling tickets and building up a fan base and being as good as a comic as you can be and doing comedy shows or Netflix or whatever the fuck you can do, doing your hour or your album now. It's more like your album makes more money than a fucking hour. Cause they're not, they've just done it.

They shot their load. Everything's all over the place. And the only ones that left standing are the top fucking dogs. And we're all just in this, you know, the wreckage of the nuclear bomb, you know, these down trees, it's just like, you okay? My eyebrows are gone, but but you know what I mean? Because even the fucking clean comedy,

I mean, most of the stuff I listen to and I do a second later, I don't remember what they said. Yeah. Like, I see a comic killing. And I'm like, I don't remember, I don't know what they're talking about. Everybody's laughing, I haven't heard a word they said. Tom poppin' a joke about his wife leaking oil

on his pillows. Every time I go to get a pillow, I think of that joke. Yeah, you know what I mean? No, there's some, the comedy now in some places, like I'll work lesser rooms on the road. What'd you just say? And I've been with other comics that have done, they fair way better than me

because I'm talking about my life and trying to be honest and stuff like that. And then there's somebody that is basically just reaffirming existence. So everything is like, I'm getting old, aren't you? And people are like, ah, like pulling out their tits and freaking out. And it's like, if you're reminded

of just your menial everyday horseshit, people wanna hear that because it's just super simple And but it's also like there's also this character Like if you're like I always say get it you know, we get a people and get a catchphrase and you're fucking in You know that's still relevant. Mm-hmm. You know that type of stuff so far. It's always gonna be there Those people are always gonna be famed the famous are going to be famous and the comics are going to be comics. You know, and there is a difference. There's famous people that are funny and then there's funny people that aren't that famous, you know. I mean, you think Billy Burr, he's funny, but he, you

know, he kind of keeps low key. He could be, I guarantee he could be way more famous than he is now. Yeah. If he wanted to be, he could just pull the trigger out of everything and do all six of those rom-coms. Yeah. You know, and he doesn't. He just holds back and he does what he wants. And even Chappelle, Chappelle could be in every fucking movie there is. Yeah. Forever. And he's not, you know, there, you know, so I don't know. I think we just have to, you know, maybe just... Well, that's a dream, no one what you want and then happy and happy.

Being like, I want this. And being happy, they're not be like, well, I want to be fucking megastar. You know, it's like, if I had to live this life where I am right now, for the rest of my life, I hope more happens for me, but man, I'm happy. This is great. I could just do stand up for the rest of my life like this

and be kind of... I mean, I'll be honest with you. I would love to be on a TV show again. I love being on TV. I love having a dressing room. I love going to Upfronts. I love being on set for three or four months. I love it. I've always loved it.

Even when I was in Boston, being on a movie set or a TV set, and I like that part of it. I like that part of the. I like that part of the industry and it kind of sucks That's something I said joking on a on the thing And I know I know I know I'm in when I was on Louis when I would go into casting. I was treated like a king mm-hmm And now you know, I'm not. It's a vibe.

There's a different thing. What do you mean? Because I was involved with that. Like I'm a comic. There was a time when being on the Louis show was fucking dude. Hi Robert, Mr. C'mon in. Oh my God, you know, I'm on a fucking,

I'm on the, I'm on the, and then I was sex drugs and I was on all this other shit Yeah, I was like, you know, and now it's like it's kind of like, you know All right, you ready it's like it's different. Yeah, yeah, it's a different vibe because of I'm a comic There was a stage when I was a comic on the Louis show and with Dennis Larry blah blah, but more so the Louis Mm-hmm is that I was treated fucking like royalty and that went away you know it's um you know and I think if I got another role on a thing you know if if any of the cast people we want to come see you come I don't google me do not fucking you to me because you're gonna hear me say some fucked up shit.

And now I have to look at your actress face. And you're gonna be mad at me. And then if I have to go find shit on you, because look, all these actors, dude, I know some of the fucking, I mean, some of these actors who are baby faces are the most despicable human beings ever met. Yeah, terrible.

I mean, to me, comic, can we fucking super clean comics than you find out? Yeah, but the one thing with comics is that we always are upfront with what pieces of shit we are, aren't we? Not all of them. Not the super clean. Ooh, Cosby. Billy Cosby.

Good point. Well, Billy. That's the greatest point ever made of this podcast. I mean, the most direct point. What are you talking about, I don't know, the guy rape 38 people. The biggest serial rapist of all time. Who was America's dad for eight years?

Yeah. Vince Jampe, also, another third. Who was Vince Jampe? He was a serial rapist and he was a brutal. Oh yeah! He got caught because the cops put together, the places where the rapes happened and lined it with his college.

It was all in props. It was like every college he toured and he was all fucked up because he used to force the women to like pray in the bush with them after lays and he fucking blew it all. He was lying a bush. I don't know that that was his uh is shrub of joys. Yeah. Oh that's him. Rapshrup of shit.

Was I ever did I ever a to show that you were on Wow. Which one? No, I wasn't. Oh, Jesus Christ. Which guy is he? There's 15 black guys up there. I know you can't tell the difference Mike. Cosby's eye is a guy. All right. Let's look at that. This one. Cosby's eyes look like the witch from Robin Hood. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, which one? I can't see him. It's too dark. I forget it. You're the worst. That's terrible. I can't see him. Is this him? I don't know. We don't know because he doesn't know. That's not him. That's the Vince. I can't hear you. That is a bit straddle arrested okay well you have a smaller photo in the in space that's what we want to see a black guy in the darkness of space that's him

uh... i remember you squeaky clean so he was just raping people yeah but uh... he definitely didn't have any objectionable opinions. Yeah, because you can't get that close to the sun. Like I always say like, you know, if like you're a good guy, the shit you're gonna talk about,

you can talk about it, because you know deep inside you're a good person. If you know deep inside you got some shit, you're not gonna get anywhere close to the sun. Yeah. You know. I was a good analogy. Is that an analogy or a no?

What was that? That was a no. That was a's an analogy or no. What was that? Who's that? Metal four. Metal four. I mean, I don't think we have, the only thing you have to worry about is if fucking Lauren Michaels won't show an SNL. And he doesn't. Yeah.

And if you get a TV show, nobody, I mean, what are they going to do? I had a fun question before you. If you know, if Shane knew what was gonna happen, would you still take the job? Like if you know you're gonna go through this, but you'll come out with double your fucking comedy fan audience, but you're definitely not guessing it. Like if Lord America's called up with you tomorrow,

it says do it and you go, man, I'm out if I do. Do you do it? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, do you go through what Shane went through? Yeah, what did he go through? What a ton of support from his comedy community? Yeah, I guess you do you go through what you're yeah, what do you go through what a ton of support from his comedy community? Yeah, but also there had to be some sort of mental health impact on him what people calling him a flat out racist piece of shit like you almost have to feel that negativity

unless he just you know intelligently erased social media from his phone. Yeah, get a hide for a few weeks. For sure. His picture's all over the web, the worldwide web. As a guy who said, who was racist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Forever, like those pictures. When, why are these people going after a guy like Shane, where, where are the real,

where are those people? Where's the real, where's the real, where's the real clucleus gland? Where's the real people that we probably should be exposing? Yeah. Instead of some fat, faced, filly fuck face. Well, the reason the clucleus gland exists is because comedians who are racists

give them power, will give them power to speak. And because... Bullshit, they think. Everybody's fucking hairy at the spy. Everybody's their own journalist slash, you know, whatever, detective, where they're trying to break the big case of the next great racist. Yeah. How happy they can get the hatchet mark. Oh, yeah. I mean, how excited was he? And all he hears is his people telling him,

oh, you're a hero. You're a hero. You took down power. Yeah. And then who's making a grand last year? And now you ruined his life. He said even said something that I mean, you know, it don't even give his name out. I guess, but just like he said something like I don't even understand this thought where comedians don't mean everything that they say. Of course they mean it. It's like what? That's literally against the definition of joking.

Yeah. You fucking dummy. Like what are you even talking about? Yeah. It's against the base. Bad definition. Like there's a, there's a there's a who's that the idiot? There's a whole joke of of comedians who are new who have said things like I don't even watch older comics because they just don't get it Like yeah, that's why you're terrible. So yeah, okay. I mean, I I guess I was that when I was younger and I was a real point driven

Comedium that really didn't have much punchlines because I didn't know how to write them. But what an odd stance to take, that like I'm gonna do comedy and I am gonna basically destroy what was comedy just so it's redefined as what I'm currently doing. This fucking spoken word to a beat. But here's a problem is if you do that

and you do this horse chick and that type of comedy becomes what comedy is We're just gonna get that we're gonna explode like real comedy real edgy Truth comedy, which is what stand-up is is going to explode. Yeah, someone's gonna in the country as we can see from Rosanne They I mean how many people watch that show? Yeah. I mean, she pal special, burr special. This is six of you.

There's thousands of us. We're just not as fucking egomaniac and want to scream at the top of our lungs. There's hundreds of thousands of people, millions, I would say, that are on our side. And there's hundreds on their side. Well, and this doesn't, yeah, I kind of, I gauge this by how I speak to, you know, my friends that aren't comics. I spoke to my friends that aren't comics that have no kids

and they're kind of like out in the world doing their own thing. They're very opinionated about it and they have, you know, their takes. And then you talk to my friends that are married with kids and they're like, what? Like, no, it hasn't even reached my world. Like, what do you, I have actual responsibilities. I don't give a fuck what the new hire for SNL.

He's not even a main guy, he's a featured player. What the fuck? So I would've seen him in a cold open twice, the entire season of the day as a fuck. He's gonna be like, horn. Ah, fuck. Ah, he said, he's gonna be like, oh, oh, shame was the Ellen

leg. Yeah, I mean, fuck it. He would have played the serious middle school football coach. All season. Yeah, yeah, who gives a shit?

Yeah, yeah, who gives a fuck? This is what I get though, right? You look at the guy that the likes the one guy gets for whatever, that's like, well, these are the people support him for taking him down. But then you look at the likes that Shane's got, and it's like, well, wouldn't you want to weigh those?

And it's like, well, if Shane's got more likes, then we need to take his side because that's where the money is. You know what I mean? Why aren't people not looking at that side? That's what you can't, they've never taken that side. In just short. They haven't, but I think they're going to start.

No. When you start realizing that's what the money is now due because no agents and managers will continue to quietly support their clients as they are right now and i continue to siphon money but publicly they're not going to be like i stand behind that yeah not networks not not a network mbc's not standing behind shane gillis that that's understandable why they can't. No, I wish they would.

But they're not yet why they don't. I wish they would not stand by him, but let him work through it. Let us all work through it. They, let us all work through Roseanne for God's sake. We still have a great show on TV. You fucking morons. What is the show they put on?

The Conners. Yeah. So anyways, some guy told me on my Patreon, stop talking politics. Are we talking politics? No, we're not. Kind of. This is in the political realm.

Is it? I just want to say one thing to him, go fuck your mother. How's that? He's doing exactly what they do. Yeah, don't ever tell me what the fuck to do on my podcast. Go fuck yourself. All right, I understand it's annoying when I talk politics. I understand I'm wrong a lot of the time. I understand it's like fucking nails on a chalkboard for you and you're probably right.

But fucking don't ever tell me to stop doing anything, you motherfucker, I wrote okay. All the things. But I knew what I was gonna say on my podcast. So I hope you listen, you motherfucker. I'll talk about whatever the fuck I want to. Now we're gonna talk about dinosaurs. Yeah.

I was speaking of your Patreon, Robert Kelly slash slash Robert Kelly Patreon. Yeah, thanks. That was a fucking beautiful, really, pozow holy shit. I just got nine subscribers of Mike's enthusiasm and fucking salesmanship. Yeah, the brand new live from the shed with Bill Burr on there, you reuploaded it with an extra 15 minutes, right? No, that 15 minutes is coming this weekend. Okay. It's a story that he, we did the Bill Burr episode

that's up there right now is fucking, he's so funny. Yeah. Man, I could have just listened to him for five hours. Bill Burr is just so funny. But we went back in, he's like, he got me, he goes, I gotta tell the story when I jerked off. So that's going up this weekend for you, fuckers. Right.

And he actually have two new $25 members that came in after you were, while you were gone. Really? Yeah, you have Mark Guestner. Yay. And you have Andrew Bianchi. Hey Mark, is that Mark Guestner of the actor? I don't know if that's Mark.

And Andrew, thank you very much, man. I'm glad to have you guys on board and We got a great one coming next Mike Calta and Ari Shafir. I'm doing in October nice So we got some really good live from the Sheds coming up um Any we did the Krebser kids tonight We did the secret show at the village on the ground to kind of prep for the tour. It's fun.

It was so good. Ron Bennington is so funny. Yeah, he murdered, dude. God damn it, he murdered. And it bugs me that I'm a fatisca on the show. Well, it's something else when like, Florentine looks like the Spray youth. Who better than else on stage?

Yeah, Florentine you're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy.

You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy.

You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a fucking legend. Yeah, yeah, he goes up. Just fucking at the end sits down looking at asshole. Just peppers. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and then he starts laying into this. And then he goes, no crowd work. And then he does crowd work. The crowd work is awesome. It was so awesome. And you could see it feed him with life a little bit.

Like he was sitting and being so good, but nonchalant and casual. And then as soon as he started trashing somebody, he became like a fire breathing dragon. Here's the thing with Vos. Is he, he's like me, I dip into the crowd, but he does it a million times. Like he's so good at it.

And for some reason, like dude, you do crowd work, he takes it as a fucking negativeism. And it's not dude, it's part of you. Just fucking do it. Yeah. Especially on these shows. Just be you. Yeah.

Go in and fucking drop it whatever the fuck it is man He killed it to kill our show though 20 20 from all of you. I mean that's it's a two yeah 20 from all of us and we walk off It's fucking great. So creeps your kids calm get your fucking tickets because they're going What's gonna say? Fuck you know you got your baby. I got my baby, yeah. How's it going? It's good. I mean, it's eight weeks right now, actually,

so that's how old he is. And I think he's like in the middle of some growth spurt at the moment, because he's having a very difficult time sleeping and, I mean, it's, it's why. Last night, I like, you know, I wake up with the feeding and shit like that, because I don't want to be a piece of shit I help my wife out, but you don't have to she's breastfeeding she's breastfeeding. Yeah, I would have stayed in fucking bed

We tell you something I was praying my wife's titties work I was like, please work and then I remember one night where it was like five in the morning The baby was hungry and crying and her tits weren't working. Little droplets were coming out of the whole tits. And I'm like, come on. I'm going to fucking walk the dwein-read. Fucking chilly out to get some fucking alchemy on whatever fuck formula. Yeah, what is it called?

I forget. And I was like, fucking. Simulac. Yeah, I had to go fucking. She's like, he's crying, the baby's crying, crying. It's like, come on you fucking tits. Sliw some milk out of there. I think I can, I think I can.

Yeah, and she went up going on formula like a week and a two weeks in. Oh really? Yeah, she was just, she was getting stuff but it was like too much. Yeah. So she got formula and I was up. Yeah.

She was like, you gotta feed the baby. Joe Turner had to go up and fucking heat up the formula. Yeah. Take the baby, put them in the bucket and then I'm sitting the chair, the rocker. Did you get the rocker glider? Oh, for sure. I mean, I don't know if I got that exact one

but we have an entire motif to our fucking, to our inner stories. It's like, to loom meets fucking whatever the fuck it's some horseshit appropriation that my wife is guilty of and she should be out before. But last night, you know, and she feeds them with her wet tits. And then I take the kid and I'm like,

you know, half sleeping and I burp. I mean, let's go a huge burp. and I'm like, you know, half sleeping. I burp him. He let's go a huge burp. And I'm like, very proud of myself for taking equal part in this feeding process. And I turn him and I'm like, good job. And he's like, and just an absolute wild money shot faucet just hits me in the chest in the middle of my bed. And it's like, you can't, you can't even react because you're holding this fragile heirloom in your hands. So if you jerk or move, it's dead.

You just gotta fucking take it. Yeah, you're fucking taking it. And then you're gonna clean the bed. You start becoming a pit crew. Yeah, that's a great way to put it. I remember we were at the car with the kid coming back from the upstate where we had the dogs and he was getting car sick for some reason.

We would give it like he had an iPad and he was just did not idea what the peripheral was. So fucking 10 minutes into this ride and roll. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And we're like, we're in upstate New York. It's just road. I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no And I'm like, motherfucker, we could pull into a CVS and within fucking eight and a half minutes, changed car clean, car seat clean, three bottles of big water,

three things of paper towels, baby wipes, t-shirt diapers, take the car seat out, whole bottle of water all over it, clean the kid off, bottle of water, another bottle of water inside the car seat out, whole bottle of water all over it, clean the kid off, bottle of water, another bottle of water inside the car seat, get all the fuck rest of the goop out, dry the kid off pit pit towels, dry the thing, put the kid's diaper on,

put the new little sharan on that we bought him with says, fuck, unhappy New Jersey, whatever the fuck you want. Throw the car seat back in, dry it off, put a towel on top, put the kid back in, take the iPad away, no more snacks to get the fuck home. You gotta get those, you gotta get those, like the horse blinders. I can't look to the side.

Oh my god. You gotta get those car seats that like Uber drivers get where they're like, hey, this is real leather and it's like bullshit, just like the kid vomit, you throw it all out. Are you gonna have a kid? I want to, we're just kind of figuring it out. What does that mean? I want to have a kid, I don't know if she wants to have a kid. Shit, how old is she? She's 34 35

I know we're getting there, but oh you 38. Yeah fine. I started when I was 42. I don't know. Yeah, how old was your wife though? She's 60 Barely made Yeah, I'm hoping technology gets it She came out of the car caught in a cobweb He came out with eight dead eggs around his neck. These were my brothers. He was wearing pearls. Yeah, it's great, man. But it's funny because when he, now he's older, he can hang out.

And he's, you know, today he came on. He was great this morning, great yesterday. And then today he came on just a fucking tired twat. And my wife doesn't let him nap because she wants him to go to bed. And I'm like, fuck, he's just gonna be a cut now. For the rest of the day, he's getting, you know. So how do you stop it? Do you trip him?

Like, you can't hit. You can't hit. No, you don't hit them. You just take stuff. I said, I said, are you going to do your homework? And I said, let's do homework and get it done. I don't want to go max. Let's do homework and get it done.

Okay. And then he goes, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that went great. You, mom was at the grocery store. She just texted me if you wanted to bring home a donut for you. It's not happy. He loves donuts. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I'm your father and you never do that to me or your mother and another adult. You don't do that. Do you ever eat the donut in front of them? No. He flipped out though. He flipped. The fee was crying.

Yeah. And that's the hard part where you're like, no, you're not getting it. And you're just going to go, no, consequence. And then he goes, and then I go, and now if you don't do your homework, I'm taking away your movie tonight. And that's happening right next. And this is just, these are the decisions you're making.

I'm not making them. I'm giving you choices. You're making the wrong choice. So it's on you. Yeah. And then he wound up doing homework. And it's hard because I just wanna go, yeah dude, let's get down.

That's it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So but here's part is that we're having, you know he's tired. You have to take your own bullshit out of it Yeah, and then dinner and blah blah blah and I have to leave and he jumps in the car

And he's in my truck in the back seat and his head's kind of going through with a door meets the truck to talk to me And I just opened my door and his head's there Almost rip his head off. And he was like, ah! And he went, ah! Why would you do that? And I'm like, it was an accident! I invented, do your whole work. Smash your head. I felt soap, and when you have accident,

I felt, I'm like, I grabbed them, I immediately smelled shit, I think it's shit, and it kind of scraped his ear, it wasn't bleeding or anything, but it hurt, and it scared him, and it scared the fuck out of me. And I brought him in the house, and I'm just holding him like, Max, he goes, I'm gonna do that to you. And I go, Max, please don't do that to me. I am so, you have to talk to this calm voice,

but I don't have. My mother will go, just get over it. You know what I mean? No, no, go get it. My mom was cutting my hair once, fucked up, clipped my skin. I went, what the fuck? And then she whacked me.

It's like you almost cut my fucking eye out. Then you fucking Mike Tyson me. What the hell is happening here? It's K-O in me. It's like, this is the 80s man. Are we listening better now? Who, you guys guys I don't care What I'm saying. Yeah, why do you

Mom was a three-ring gal she's like anything. Yeah, anything that I would have she had like a three three decorative rings that she would always turn The mother of boss With her shorts with turn the rings. Yeah, she would turn the rings and like just whack, like an absolute fucking or arm. It was straight. Wow. Yeah, it was wild.

Yeah, it's a fucked up thing to not hit your kid. Not fucked up, but it's, I can't even imagine doing it. Yeah. I couldn't imagine hitting my kid. And it's hard not to yell at them too. That's the hard part. I love to yell. Anybody who knows me, when you fucking get me going,

I will fucking, I like to lay into your ass. You think people who are going through what you going through now with your kids, like, man, it's crazy not hitting your kid. At some point they were doing that with their wives. You know, like when that started becoming, like when that became this thing, it's like, hey, can't your wife anymore? They were like, dude, it is hard to raise your wife.

All right, she gets crazy. That's not a godless thing. Yeah, they're not the generous right? You can't hit them. You can't hit them. I was trying to do time out with her. She just won't go. I will do a Colin Quinn does to me to you right now.

If that's not in your act, I will fucking punch you in the face. Oh, you're right. If you don't put that in your act, I will fucking murder you. They just thought of it. That's a classic Greg Rip. You could have those if you were listening. I'll take it if you were. I'll take that. That's a correct one.

Greg, you are one of my favorite people to have on the show. But I love you. I like the yell because it's fun. I like when you yell. I love when you yell. I'm a yeller. Yeah, I'm a yeller. I like the yell. I like people who are passionate I love when you yell. I'm a yeller. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a yeller. I like to yell I like people a patch it you two people like everyone knows everyone knows everyone knows about my canon or my relationship Love each other. Yeah, yeah, this is a great. He might not a yellow though. I am I am I'm not like what I am. I'm not I'm not a fucking news news. I'm not a

I am not Who songs that I don't even know what you said. I am I'm not that's what he said I am I'm not oh what I started two sentences back to back. Oh great. He would I am I'm not I tried to make a song but nobody cut on and then I was just hanging out there By myself Uh, by myself. I have my not. I feel that. I'm not. Oh, there you go. That's the story.

Pim, pim, pim, pim. Good. To no one there. Uh, yeah, you know, the two. That's why I came to a blue D. How could you care? Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap. We're back. You're listening to me. The dude of dudes. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM Yo my sweet time girl. That's all Neil. It's like a real. You can sing whatever the fuck you want.

You can sing like that. It sounds great. You can, right? Anything near. I love doors. Yeah. It opens well. Wow, there's no squeaks in my house.

I tell it to you. Open the door and come in. Where's the dog and needs a walk? You can't go through windows. You've got to go through the doors. That was kind of bad. See if you got through the politics, you get the song. Yeah, you get the song. What do you got, Mike? I don't know. Come on. We started talking politics. I thought we were talking politics. Socialists. Socialists. Yeah. That's another thing to wind it to comics. When the fuck did we become politicians?

When do we become pundits? And when do we start talking about, we make fun of everything. We talk about stupid shit. When did we, when did that happen? What Twitter fuck? I hope Twitter dies. Dude, that's what if they rebooted Fight Club, it wouldn't be about taking out the credit card unions,

it'd be about taking out fucking social media, and we'd all be so happy. Everyone would be free if they just burn this shit to the ground. Where's the hub, where's the hub, a Twitter? I was San Francisco. That's where the actual boards are, like where they, where they found them.

Oh, you mean the, the, the, the, the, the reverse? Yeah. The room with the servers, yeah. The room with the dough the room with the servers. Yeah, we're room with the Dole the servers yeah, you you you've bailed it. Yeah, I know what you felt it Yeah, the service is there And keep it inside yourself just like a hole You're so just like a whole

I'm like not that familiar with Neil diamond me neither. I just like saving You can sing whatever you think about anything whatever you want pick something Pick it. Yeah, my son. You son Baby looking good handsome boy coming to Nevada get some toys. I love little crew. You know you know you know you know you know you know you know the rest on the Patreon. I appreciate it. It's on Patreon. The rest is on the Patreon. You're boy through up in your face. What else to stress? You pick them up and grow them. But you can't make a trace because

the little rest you were talking about race. Did you hear that Neil Diamond story? Ron told me this story. Like when the fucking Boston bombing happened or something, he like just got in his car and like just started heading to fucking the base whatever the baseball team is over there red socks. The thing and he was like I'm going and then like he came to the bot to the game and was like, I want to sing and they're like, what do you mean you want to sing?

You can't sing and he's like, my people need me now. I'm shit like that. And he was like, you should have called. Like no one knew we just got in his car. I wrote a song on the way there. There's a bomb in the streets. People run in everywhere. To Radical radicalize brothers.

Running from terrorism, running from freedom, raining storms and freedoms for free. Yeah, like that. I was well-partied. And rice bombs that people that care. Bringing the old boat and having nightmares. There we go. Now we're having fun. Yeah, you know it's over when Mike stops laughing. Yeah.

Mike's a Mexican from San Antonio. He laughs at everything. He stopped laughing. Can I say Mexican? Yeah. Mike, can I call you a Mexican? I am once, so yeah. Hey, I say, are you not a little Asian?

No. No, we all have a half owl. Yeah. We all have that marion straight face because we came over as Native Americans and got mixed with Spanish. I hear you. I hear that old friend. Marrying straight face.

That's a dance soda term for me. Oh, yeah, I really believe it. I think soda's gonna get taken out. No. I think soda's gonna get a fuck of wiped off of the billions. Nah, so we're super stoic. No, you think so does gonna get fuck a wiped off of billions? Nah, yeah super star. Huh? Hope you're super he's a luminaughty. Yeah, he's a luminaught. So does lumina. Oh, he's a luminaughty

His nose is an upside down diamond Yeah, he's a luminaughty his crutch dra trajectory is a little monotid. The only guy in the little Monotid with a roommate. Yeah, but he doesn't have to have the roommate. They make him have the room. Yeah, if you want to leave, he's got an all-in-one. Can I say something? A backyard is a hitman for the little Monotid. Yeah, I agree with that. Oh, he's killing me. He always takes people up.

And I don't think he even remembers. No, yeah. Oh, he's just a kid they play the song and then he's just like take out barri bonds or whatever i don't know who it is that is for you out of choking people so does so does certain impressions in it it triggers vecki out he does like uh... uh... anybody want to be not that

vecki out goes and kills somebody to my wife were driving by we see see Vecchio running across the street, and my wife looks and she goes, who's he running from? I was like, he's exercising. He's got this run in his face like, like he's just, yeah. He's just, he's ran from here.

He's ran from here. He's trying to go home, because there's a, there's a pasticheal plate from the fucking diner. Yeah, though, he does not need to know which money soda has a lot Yeah, but he does take care of his granny and his mom sweet sort of one of the best human beings I've ever met one of the best and Vecchillon It's a great house. Yeah, Vecchillons a good guy, too. Yeah, it is a good house. Illuminati for sure Yeah, aluminum

Illuminati there's something going on. Oh, yeah, Lewis will expose it someday And then he'll be dead He'll be dead. He'll be he'll be killed justice silver and Vecchio will murder Lewis for exposing the Illuminati It's crazy. I never gave him as an ill Lewis Yeah, go man. I've always been like this guy needs to do weekend update. Lauren. That's what I want to say Lauren you need a you should do a podcast on gas digital. No, I'll set you up. You can do it right for me, house.

You, you could do it with David Letterman. You know, Dave, it's Lewis Tracoma's on weekend update. Real ass segment. Real ass segment. Lauren Michael's in Paul Schaefer. We couldn't get Dave. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, I, he is, he is one of the nicest guys, but he did try out for us and out the same time.

Twice. At the same time Pete Davidson did. Yeah, and they gave it to Pete Davidson. Yeah. The Luminati. That's crazy. Do you know how good Soder would have been on SNL? Well, I mean, he did his audition on your show, on a live version of your show, and it's

still one of the hardest I've ever laughed in my entire life. He is one of the most talented voice guys, radio voice, but, you know, impression guys, and I've never ever met. And he can write, which, that's the thing that puts you over the top is a lot of people have Dead on impersonation. Oh, yeah, he is a fucking brilliant writer on top of being now. So I could care to Get on bread. I don't use the word Bryant. Okay. Each brilliant is brilliant. He's brilliant. He's brilliant. I was using it in a very casual way. Okay, someone who can't sing it should do it. Lauren! We have your replacement! Now the thing about Asians.

Right. You know, I never really liked you until yesterday. No, I like, Mike, you're so funny, dude. We've grown closer, it's great. We have, man. I've discovered the talent. Well it took me three years to not be afraid. Yeah, you were sweaty mess when you first come here.

But now you just come up and hang and you're so funny. Greg, you're so funny too. Greg, what are you doing? You got a special coming on or something? I don't know if anything coming out for the remainder of my life. Do you want something? I mean, I would love stuff. I'm gonna get you something

I've never I think can and I always do want something. I would love I just been turned I mean like do I'm gonna get you something. I would love it. We want an album. I have an album You want a new album or special? What do you want? I want to do comedy on fucking TV? Wow, okay? Or like not say I'm not this is my own anger, not you. Well, I mean, I'm like that attitude, I can't get you to apologize. No, but like I always get like, because Ken and I are I think we're in like a similar boat where, well you're doing something, you're doing your album.

Yeah, but it's self thing. It's a self thing, you know. Yeah, but you're with 800 pound gorilla, right? Yeah, he's fucking good. I mean, I don't know if that's for sure on the second one, but hopefully, I mean, yeah, the idea. What are you doing? What are you promoting?

You're promoting something. I'm promoting that. I mean, I'm on the road and stuff like that. I mean, yeah, the idea. What are you doing? What are you promoting? You're promoting something. So I'm promoting that. I mean, I'm on the road and stuff like that, if you want to check me out in other towns outside in New York. But I can't announce exactly what it's for yet. But November 4th, I'm doing two shows at the village underground, headlining, doing my hour.

Basically, what I'm doing is I'm putting out, I'm creating and putting out my own original half hour special online, and also I'm gonna have the full hour available as an album, so it's gonna be almost a visual business card for the entire project. But the visual thing is centered around how I got into the seller, how Colin had a heart attack, nearly dropped dead. Yeah.

And I benefited from his near demise. And now I'm in this place that I've basically looked up to and idolized my entire life. And I filmed something with you. I filmed something with Norton. I'm getting lost to be involved in a couple of other people. And, you know, I just, this is kind of like a real big,

this is what I always wanted to do. Right. I love doing stand-up. It's the only thing that I feel like, right? Right. I love doing stand up. It's the only thing that I feel like, you know, I can control and put out and I've spent two years writing this brand new hour and I think it's really good.

And, you know, I wanna just deliver it how I'm gonna deliver it to the- It's awesome to people. I'm excited about that. Yeah, me too. And the homeless Pimp, I gotta give him a shout out on Instagram. He is so fucking talented and great to work with.

He's been, you know, he shot your thing. He shot the intro. I mean, you know, you saw it. Yeah, it's great. It looks really good. Really good. So I really love it. I'm excited for it. I'm not sure when it's going to drop, but it's it's in the works and, you know, all you can do is make stuff, right? It create. Yeah. The only thing you can do is create and not expect an outcome. If you expect an outcome, then you're doing it wrong. Yeah. I'm not getting put on TV. It's the same. But yeah, it's expecting an outcome. Yeah. That's expecting a bad outcome. And I have. Just don't expect an outcome.

Yeah. Do what you love to do, create an album, do a special, apart, whatever the fuck it is, and put it out there and let the people decide. That's it. That's all you can do. Yeah. Yeah. It's like anything else. You know, don't, you know, well, you're going to put it out and give let the people decide. That's it. That's all you can do. It's like anything else. You know, don't, you know. Well, you gotta put it out and give it away

of free and new too because that's YouTube because that's not true. Yeah. Because it might not happen with you. Yeah. Yours might be five years from now, an interview you do and then somebody discovers you and then they see that you have the special

and then it pops on, you know, they wanna put it on Hulu, who the fuck knows, right? Yeah, yeah. You never know what the fuck it is. Just create. So yeah, that's my entire goal is because stand up is the best. I love going on the road. Yeah.

And my goal is to sell tickets. Like, why would it be? There's nothing better than sand, man. All the ones, man. I come out and see me on purpose. The people that listen to this podcast, I love them. Yeah. They're the best.

They've been listening for years, and they come to my shows, and that's all I want to do. That's why I say, I'm not trying to bring you joy. I'm just trying to do what I do, and I love doing what I do, and I hope you like it too. Yeah. So what do you got? Shows? Yeah, I'm just continually doing stand-up. I'm working on some stuff I'm excited about but good nothing like

I love to write a comic book. I'd love to write a TV show love that love to write a movie I have a few movies that I'm like just finally getting through my own 80d to be able to write Yeah, and something excited about a lot of that stuff. So a lot of it's like behind But like I you know, I know that's fun. If something ever happens, then someone will put me, then I'll do something. I just want to have, keep doing standup. I just want to keep doing standup. I have to announce that is awesome. And you should, because you're one of the funniest guys

in this podcast, you make me laugh. Both of you fuckers. Thanks, man. Really, just awesome. And I get an eye for talent. Well, you like us, so you do. Ooh. I had a cancel stress factory.

So all my fans who are going to stress factory is canceled. Mike, I'm sorry. Oh, it's okay. Didn't sound okay. Sound like you're both crying. Oh, I knew they're making up. I'm coming up. So yeah, I had a cancel it.

So creepswithkids.com. Please go there. Get your ticket. Spread the word. Retweet it. If you see it, repost it. if you see it, repost it if you see it, and share it if you see it so we can get the word out there. Do you know when degenerates comes out? New Year's Eve.

Oh, that's great. Yeah, New Year's Eve, degenerates is coming out. And there you go, I'm gonna be also, where am I this weekend coming up? This weekend, this comes out Sunday. This weekend I'm nowhere, but next weekend. You are at Haddon's comedy club in Windsor, Ontario. Yeah. And you'll be at Shakespeare's and Kalamazoo Michigan.

Yeah. So if you guys are in Michigan, get on that show and Ontario get on that show. Spread the word, tell your friends. That's how you sell the tickets, bring people, tell them to bring people, get more people and share it on your social media. Tell people to come, you gotta see this. I depend on you people to help me sell tickets so I can do this, right?

Yeah, thank you. All right, you guys, watch your website. Oh, GregFstone.com. Okay, yeah. Go check them out, watch your website. November 4th, comedyCellar.com, just get tickets. That's your website November 4th comedy seller dot com just get tickets That's your website. How did you get the great? I just noticed I didn't say it before I just want to say the fucking day November 4th, Bill, did I all right? Please just get goddamn tickets. I really need it

It's gonna sell out your fucking Yeah, we can sell out Mike Feeney show. We can sell your show Ernie kick gas still. Oh my God, it was great. It was great hour. He flubbed his first line. It made me so happy. Mike, what do you got, buddy? You can see me on our own podcast.

What be Misha Han and Catherine Hanson, the Ike Shikes. Am I the only comic that lets their fucking people who work on their show, plug their shit to? I think so. No one else. I watch these other podcasts. And the other people, you usually don't, because there's like a dozen people going to reform me

and it's like they're not listening at that. I let you go last. I know, right? And that's the best. Do you want to say that's the best spot? We also heard that, sir. You want to say that, right? Yeah.

I just know that people are worn out for a time. Stop playing with you nuts in front of me, you weirdo. I don't know, I nick them. Well, stop. You should get a fucking manscape. No, Nick. Or you want one, don't you? Oh, I would be right. Really? How's the soft when you're nuts in front of me? You're weirdo. I know I nicked them. Well stop, you should get a fucking manscape. No, Nick. Oh, you want one, don't you? Oh, I would be great.

Really? How the softball for you? Oh, you, so tell manscape. That'd be great. Tell them you're the producer of my show and you're a hairy Mexican. Yeah. Can we trim your nuts?

On the, on air. On air. I, not that we see your nuts, but I can trim your nuts. Yeah. I'm gonna figure some out. I mean, you'll hold you, I'll hide you, Pepe, but I can trim your nuts. Yeah, I mean you'll hold you hide your peepie But I'll get you fucking peppers That's my underwear with a pop out. Yeah. Yeah, can I trim them? Sure That's man scape set and send a new one. I'm not using my I am so glad I came in man. Yeah, I was like fuck it. Let's just use around and two of the funniest were around

and two of my favorites were around. I was done. They said, come do this. Fucking love it. I was walking out of gas. Yeah. You guys got to make sure you check these guys out. You guys are the best fans in the world and creepswakids.com, Patreon, Robert Kelly, do it all. You guys are the best fans in the world. You know what, dude? Let's go home. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros!

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