Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - 20 Final Destinations

Episode Date: October 15, 2018

Hot off his Netflix special ‘The Vagabond’, guest host Mo Amer is in while Bobby’s in Florida! Guests Big Jay Oakerson, H Foley and Dean Delray go over the UFCs beginnings, stoop poops and ice soccer! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a claustrophic. It's podcast, no rules. I'm not gonna talk to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic? No!

What the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Way both sides of the coin.

That's how it all holds the stars. You want a daily, my podcast is popular enough. I might affect some of these lines. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what do podcasts popular enough where I might affect some of these lives. The rich minimums from pocket wallet that helps you reevaluate the everyday carry launched by a father-son team and funded on Kickstarter in 2013. The rich now resides in the pockets of over a quarter million men and women. The RFID blocking wallet is made by two metal plates either titanium carbon fiber or

Aluminum bond together by durable elastic band boom. Yeah, we are cooking it man. We go on the back There's one on the back There was no there was no arrows says read the back. All right. There is a promo code get 10% off today with free world the back. Alright, there is a promo code get 10% off today with free world worldwide shipping by going to RidgeWallet.com slash YKYD. That's RidgeWallet.com. YKYD. Of course, YKWD. What did I say? YKYD. That's fun. You know what? You know, I speak three languages and sometimes it fucks me up. You know, we're time. Jages walked in. We got Dean. We got Foley. What's up, man? Yeah, we got a lot of Lester here.

Everybody's cooking. Awesome. What's going on guys? Sorry I'm late, most hosting, so security was a bit. I feel like I'm looking at my reflection but let myself have some piercings. No, no, no, I already let myself go there, J. I thought you could tell pretty easily. What's cooking guys, it was a really busy weekend. I mean, a lot of things popping off. You're a special, man.

That's what's cooking. I am excited about that. That's great. Bringing that up, Dean. Hell, yeah. Awesome. I was going to see if what you're I didn't get any thoughts on the

Kabebe fight. That had to be mean something to you. Are you kidding me? I had a bandana on. I was by myself. I had a Kabebe, yeah. That was like the... Buy yourself. Why do they watch you if you're kidding me? I had a bandana on. I was by myself.

I had a chabibi. Yeah, that was like the... By yourself. Do they watch you if you're in groups? Yeah, they do. They watch me. That was my wife was there. And she just didn't understand totally what it meant for me.

Like, it was just such a big deal. Because I felt like Chabibi was not getting a- it was like so much With McGregor just saying some of the foulest shit you could say about somebody's background his heritage and Everything else the guy stands for and I always thought that he was everybody's against him They even boo him when he says how I'm doing that which literally translates to hallelujah like Fucking hysterical and if a guy jumps out out of anger and holding it in for so long I don't think it was as horrible as they made it all sound and I was just upset and I'm very very fucking happy The McGregor lost his ass. I was reading his dad was gonna beat his ass today. Did you read that? It's a very good possibility

Wait till I get a hold of him McGregor and shit. Yeah, I believe it I believe that his dad is gonna bring a full girl in bear this time Yeah, I believe it. I believe that his dad is gonna bring a full girl in bear this time. Yeah, he's gonna be pissed about it. Yeah, because he thinks it's a rare thing. He's that way, bro. He's like really, you know, his dad has like tamed him and really like worked on his, you know, ability to be polite and good and humble and lost and wins and, you know, whatever you. And I think that his father is really upset that he displayed what he displayed after the fight. It's just hard man. I think it was really hard for him to keep it in there. I'm too dumb to realize some of the insults that we've been going. Like offering him kept offering him whiskey and shit. I didn't realize that's like a real fucking. Yeah. It's a massive

fuck you for sure. Especially somebody who is really observing Islam the way he is. He's really like, he's a believer. He believes in something way greater than everything else. And this is what has empowered him and lifted his whole family. Have you seen a picture of his great grandfather? His great grandfather was like a general in the military. It was like unbelievable. His greatfather had the

eyes of a UFC champion for sure. I mean, McGregor got his ass beat. I mean, I believe, what do you guys feel about that? Yeah. I mean, McGregor's a piece of shit. Yeah. He's an Irish piece of shit. I mean, he's definitely a showman, but I mean, that's what I think. I don't even, I don't know if he, that goes beyond showmanship though well no absolutely I think in his mind it wasn't going way past showmanship. It's just I think he just didn't know it's like there's nobody in his corner going like hey like lay in heavy on this stuff. Yeah I go back on that stuff. Yeah there's no there are all yes man around him for sure. Yeah. What I didn't like is that he was he was you know, it was yeah That's it. That's it right there. That's the one. Whoa softer. Ikebun sweet hat. Yeah, I mean

100% I mean that's the the thing that upset me is that it was taken as like oh is just being sport It's a sportsmanship, you know, whatever my Greg was saying calling him a rat Dad saying that he was on like a list after 9-11 and then he turned on Peter. I made him sound like, yeah, exactly. That was just from foul shit. I mean, my God, I'd, I'd spent on him too after I choked him out. He's like, I go to your chicken and me and damn, like it was so funny.

Did he spend on him? I mean, he did have to worry. Yeah, I don't think he, like, he made the gesture as if like, you know, I know the, I know the one. I know the that's our core. Just seeing the Gregor was weird looked at. Oh man, when he rolled over and could be was yelling over him, it was just such a defeated. Oh, he was just right. He just looked like he hadn't fought in years and that at that moment like, well, I got my ass beat. Yeah, that's

what it seemed to do. He was saying, well, I got my ass beat. Yeah, that's what it seems. He was saying well, I got my ass beat and then the guy who did it was yelling at you I beat your ass A lot rocky three moment right there and they said and there was there was a big thing about like McGregor You know getting hit after the fight and I shouldn't have to oh poor McGregor and he threw the first bunches on both occasions When the guy was you get suckered though on both occasions when the guy was you get suckered though he threw the thing at the bus suckered at the after the shit that he threw yeah

exactly I mean that's a sucker punch and I'm not lying to one in there yeah 100% and it was a big dumb Mick get dropped in the out in the hallways of the arena oh yeah I didn't see it one of his moves uh no no just some big doofy lanky dude just finally uh I don't

even know if it was a Muslim guy or whatever, but some guy just probably, I mean, like, it was just Russian. Yeah, I mean, just popped him the thing. It was an immediate split face. Like, when the guy was unconscious, it was already covered. I didn't see that in one shot. I just saw the Irish guy like, talk a mad shit

and then all of a sudden the Russian guys look all really a band, and that was it. How much of a face? How much of a fuck would anybody that speaks like that by the way? Yeah. He says, what you said to me? Like, I let that shit go. Oh, no.

First of all, they've been in mandatory military. You know, the main side, it's like you're already, you know, you're gonna lose because they've been beat up in the military. The military is no joke. No joke. That's a saying. I took the whole thing over shadowed the big fight of the weekend, uh, Shaggy TDope versus Fred Durst.

Yeah. I love his complete miss. Complete miss. How do you miss it? It wasn't even a complete miss. It was worse than a complete miss. It was a light gentle tap with two feet in the air on his back that made Fred Durst go.

I missed that completely. Why is the Muslim Traditional hat look like a rave girl Like unicorn The world's foremost DJ He's great grandfather. That guy, that guy's the head. I'm even popping here. And he just slid up my glasses and followed. I bring you on, they wanted to lose the steel wheels. He was actually the head of those.

Headliner in Vegas after the fight right there. He was just like step aside, marshmallow head. So, no, it's actually that's very indigenous to that area. It's not necessarily traditional Muslim hat right there for sure. As a matter of fact, you would see a lot of his sick juice. I mean, certain things that would be wearing that type of hat as well. Because Dana White's great though, he's like, no, we didn't want this to happen. We didn't want this to happen at all.

Oh, Dana White. Now it's already better rematch. Right away after the fight, I was like, people might be deported and licenses and visas and house someone getting a green card, and they're already like, let's do it again. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, I couldn't stand Dana's press conference afterwards.

I just couldn't stand. I do like what he plays like dumb on it all. Do you think maybe you shouldn't show all this like personal stuff and the trailers? Yeah. What? What? No, what? I don't. What?

I'm not a camera guy. No, he was like, no, it's part of the narrative. Yeah, it's a black story. But I don't know if there is, it is. It is. It is. It is. Like I said, you're selling a fight.

That sold it all right for sure. But I don't know how there wasn't more of a feeling of like, hey, one guy's not playing along. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. 100%. I don't know. guys not playing along. Yeah, yeah, right. 100. I'm a Gregor doing fucking, uh, you know, burpees and shit and the things all can shittin' and it could be just like white knuckled holding his hands together. Oh, he wanted to beat him so bad from the moment he saw him.

He's just going like Tony Ferguson may have had the best press. You watch the whole press conference. I watch Tony Ferguson try to say I like the hindsight where he was like, uh, I saw Conor McGregor in the hallways and when I turned around and looked to say like I like the hindsight where he was like I saw Conor Gregor in the hallways And when I turned around and looked at him I saw fear in his heart I go you wasn't thinking about you you idiot Guys on a fight is happening right tonight With the champ with the you know he's going for a belt. He's not worried to respect like I wouldn't fight any of these guys And I'm horrified of any of them in the ring, but Tony was like

these guys and I'm horrified of any of them in the ring but Tony was like uh... the interview was terrible yeah he's he's an awesome fighter all some guy but stuff you guys in the UFC I like the ones when you look at them you've seen them fight you see them devastated people and their thing you're still like in a bar I still give it a go yeah yeah what about lyricals and like man that would be a I'd really get hurt in a bar fight there because they'd be like that guy's a fighter

I'm like is he Is that goblin a fighter Crazy I would you think about Lewis that fight that That was last month No, was it a look was not Lewis? No, wasn't a loop wasn't not Lewis Yeah, it was Heavyweight man, the heavyweight man Derek Lewis Yeah, that was a good fight actually. I was a really good fight. That was an insanely like not good fight

And then that last 10 seconds made it one of the best fights Yeah, and then he took off his shorts and why did you take off shorts? Because my balls were hot my balls. Have you hear all the other stuff? He said about going that's the thing right there my balls were hot Yeah, yeah that post-fair view so I'm gonna throw my wife's legs on you see what happens yes what are you gonna do now he's like go home throw my wife's legs up they trump called them and asked them to not take care of this Russian forum yeah I like the easiest dude yeah yeah it was that or sanitation worker. Yeah, so he's killing the game.

Yeah, absolutely. I'm really upset that Chabeeb's dad wasn't able to make the fight. I mean, why couldn't he get a visa? That makes sense. I mean, Dana's hanging out with Trump and shit. And I saw I was looking at the Instagram and he was, and he commented about, you know, Chabib was commenting about how Dana was with Trump on one of the pictures,

like, hey, ask him to give my dad a visa. You know, one of the people I is dead, and I mean, it must be because of his name or some kind of shit that's happening. Trump made sure that he wasn't getting in for sure. Yeah, I'm in some Russian. He said, yeah. Trump R.A. in the Gregor.

Yeah. If his dad was there, that would have never happened. Yeah. He would have never jumped over the cage. He would have never been allowed there. If his dad was there, that would have never happened. Yeah. He would have never jumped over the cage. He would have never been allowed to. Did you see a new thing? It was an interview.

And I think he was back in, I think he went back to Russia. And he was talking to his people, Chabibos. And he goes, some people say that I did wrong thing, but some people say I did the right thing by jumping over. But I tell you what, you can't keep a eagle in the cage. Eagle is not meant to be in the cage. I like that he was really, really great. I like that after he won all the people were complaining, like they should outlaw a

grappling. It's like, you know, that goes back to Royce Gracie, you know, that's how he beat everyone, and that was like, immediately people had to learn how to ground fight. Right. It was Gracie. What was it? Tim Silver when I say it was? When he... Shamrock? I think it was Tim Silver that big guy when he got... that's back when there wasn't even weight classes. Yeah, that was the best. That was the best shit. But he broke a guy's arm and you didn't see... like he was just hugging him and everyone everyone was kinda like, what is this thing? And all of a sudden the guy starts tapping,

like, you're gonna come to his arms like that. Yeah, yeah. And then everyone was like, we should probably check the school out. Absolutely, that's it. That's when he retired and started teaching. He's like, now come learn how to do this. The worst UFC level fighter right now would have

walked through the UFC like one through 20 last 100% like tank Abbott would have I mean like a person just like the worst like the way that the worst is like a newer right like Mickey Gal we on a Mickey Gal like Mickey Gal would have walked through you know because he just has skills in none of those guys were prepping for you was like a Bouncer versus Ninja yeah absolutely yeah which was fun by the way super fun were prepping for you was like a bounce reverse in ninja. Which was fun by the way super fun. So I would yeah it was I would also like to see people fight outside of the weight classes like it didn't even matter.

That was great. It's all about the art form. That's what we're not as bad as no matter what how big you are. You know, that's what they always say to me. Like an I key to them and I big you are wrist lock is a wrist lock. You're going to go down. Period. Yeah.

That's what I'd like to see. But it got outlawed in America for a while. So when I had like fight to come back, they really had like regulated. But it did make these insanely more skilled fighters. But you're right. Just they're trying to bring back. And I just saw a vice half hour documentary

on the officially their first event for Bear Nuckle boxing. I know. It was in Wisconsin. And you can look that up. Mike, for Bear Nuckle boxing. It was in Wisconsin and you can look that up Mike, the Bear Nuckle fighting. It's pretty intense. There's a great name because it really is. There is no grandpa. Yeah. And it's just guys.

There's no one they did make it. Watching a super wrestler getting his teeth kicked in by a kid boxing and seeing someone get choked out by a G. These are all things you don't typically see in MMA fights, but they are all In fighting events, you know, history. They're in a lot. They all occurred in UFC number one Ferris in my Yeah, it is. See one. If you've only been introduced, it's got to make this.

They're postfire views. I don't know what happened. I'm going to get back to my shift to the circle. Okay. Was that butter bean? I don't know, but that guy was wearing briefs.

Oh my god. That's weird. That was that butter bean guy, right? No, no. It's too big. Now that is so funny when it's even on the styles, it goes kickboxing, jujitsu, people are like, ju-what?

Suma. Jumbrown. Yeah. Oh. That was some of the crazy stuff. But I'll tell you what, how are the gates? UFC actually had more rules. They were trying to come over from that, uh, what's it called in Japan pride?

Yeah. But pride, pride, you could stomp on faces in Oh kick Kignatz. Could you I think so you can I don't for sure but guys on the ground you can face I think you just couldn't bite crazy fucking face Tom. I remember having you having just get the like rent the actual videos to watch this Oh, yeah, yeah, we must have got it on paper. Yeah. First, whenever we were like, this is fucking crazy. Yeah. I got the cable black box bought one in the neighborhood, a hundred bucks. And because back then, Tyson, you'd pay for the fight and it'd be one minute,

be like a hundred dollars. I bought a box and I just started watching all those and then I just charged neighbors to come over. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the black box. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom.

I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom.

I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom.

I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. I got to get to the bottom. High government like tech shit at that point. Yeah, and now it's like Amazon fire stick does the same thing plug into a port It's gave me a port to plug it into So why does my TV have a USB port if not to steal things? We're just having like the old Nintendo that has every single game you've ever wanted That was vast right? No blowing on the games anymore. No nothing just like that. I got about a soda got me that for Christmas couple years ago and I do turn it on from time to time, but it really is like a you got about a half hour of old Nintendo and you before you're like, I have a game looks like I'm playing in the NFL

in the other room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not sure why I'm dialing back. You're fucking out, you're sticks. It's everything's stick figure. You're like, what it It's got an end. What's your bullet go like this? Like super slow motion? I'm trying to save America in the other room.

It's an actual Vietnamese kid. I get a sue. Okay, Vietnamese kid. We'll pass on that. I'm not. What? I'm ready, man. It's a pretty thing has me high fangs. A pretty thing has me high fangs. It was really pretty.

We fight in town race war. Listen, listen. It was one of the worst things to see my nephew Asama killing his own people on a fucking game. I'm like, what are you doing, man? Chasing our own people. What the fuck are you doing? Yeah.

It was just fun. You're fucking you're the worst. It's just fun. Just seeing Asama just going in there rock with his military He's just destroying his own kind of like you are not raised right. I'm gonna call your sister over my sister over Hey, what else Amy Schumer got arrested over the weekend. No, no comment. All right, perfect Procession cabin It's sort of in consequential

I don't know how much of a thing you can jump in on that. Yeah, you ready on this one. It was all actually effort though. You got confirmed anyway. Is that wild? I mean, I have surprises that there's rarely ever.

In any of those things, I mean, I guess there are a few with like the police, but it's like Prosecut hard a couple of these cops so every story I mean I go on world star hip hop every day I'm like fights girlch work in a booty and that's like Another guy getting shot warning graphic cops murder a guy for saying please help me find my lost dog Yeah, I'm like I mean one and then and then and then the next news is like, also, remember that guy who shot a guy last week? Well, he's off completely.

Yeah, and how about this one? People always go, did you see that video? And then yeah, that's like the 89 videos I saw last month, you know what I mean? South Park nailed that with the school shooting thing. It's just background noise at this point. Oh, man. Really? I mean, that was really smart.

You're like, so many of them, you're like, you, you, you do lose the, uh, I mean, I would in the store. If I had my own kid, I would homeschool for sure. They just locked up your own kid, right? Not your step kid. Yeah. She's already finished. Yeah.

She's 22. She's in college. It's already, uh, done. You know know 9 11 McVeigh the Oklahoma City Ball like everyone was set in front of their TVs for hours and days. Yeah, like what was going on The car world's not what it was and I mean that Obviously no we're near on the scale, but like would be pretty huge news like the dumpster Exposure in New York the guy made the pipe bomb or the dumpster explosion. Like I was in my spot.

My spot. I'll take a look at your travel dog. I believe you, but it's just a peak. I'm okay with what you're talking about. I want to be able to tell the people I saw it. I did two spots after it. Yeah. Like that night.

And that crazy. And at the VU, blocks, you know, technically a walk away from where that happened. Yeah, like that night and that crazy in at the view Blocks, you know technically a walk away from where that happened. Yeah fucking nuts. I mean we've become so desensitized Yeah, I mean, I mean, I should pal said it in one of his special I'm not sure if it's in one of the specials but I've seen him say many times before You've started when the when the space shuttle exploded and every all the kids were watching at school watching the launch They sent everybody home Home the entire country was born it. Yep the entire country was born now. It's like our teacher had to go fucking Roll the TV out of the

Childcraft TV I'm always getting on a step-store something to go change it Tell the way just sense it. I mean they're're like, if you see something, say something. And nobody's looking at anybody. It's all their phone. It's like, what are you gonna see? Like a bomb's gonna go off and you're done. You know what I mean?

It's like, we're all these someplace. If you don't put a catch 22, you see something say something. If that something's nothing, like then you're racist. Yeah, or you're pulling out people. That's a rough position. That is. I mean, like, you know, you say,

who gives a fuck on saying this seems suspicious a rough position. Yeah, it is. I mean, like, you know, you say who gives a fuck I'm saying this seems suspicious to me, but like, it does. If not, you're like, it's piece of, you know, I mean, like, absolutely the same thing. It's that's the rough position. Again, I don't think a lot of people have perspective on both ends. I think it's ridiculous. If a little black girl selling lemonade outside and some basket case

fucking white lady comes out and is saying racial shit in her and I've like fucked that lady. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? But like you're just it's the same thing if you were like that girl was out there like in the bottom of all the lemonade bottles was a fucking eighth of wheat or something. You know what I mean? Like it's just like I don't know it's like then that lady's like wow she stopped the international drug ring that's some ground level. Do you know what I mean? Like international. You don't have to say there's just no and then if not like that

lady is like look at this piece of shit. And it is. Like that lady should be, uh, like strong up for like, what are you doing? Just like calling the cops on any black kid in front of your place. That's the time. Now you'll be pressed against.

Now you gotta be afraid. You see a bunch of, uh, a black dude's doing shifty shit outside your house. And like you go, like what the cops come check that out or something like that. Well, even that is something like, that's not a story though. Where it's like,

lady stopped crime on the street of going cops and getting this thing done. Even if they are stopping small crime like that, people are on your side. Like in the last Spider-Man game, the new Spider-Man game, I mean, like people are- I'll be yesterday.

Yeah, people are like, Spider-Man's a gnar because some of the crimes you stop are like low-level gills. And it's like, say out of their business Spider-Man, like, are you serious? Yeah. Video game, Spider-Man's a gnar, crimes you stop are like low-level deals and it's like say out of their business spider-man like video game that's not

the bear he is kind of a bitch about it he's like not my neighborhood yeah fucking spider-man the rat that's so weird so funny bro I've never I you know I'm just I haven't I've been out of the game I've been out of the game just in general. It's like, do you smoke weed? I do, yeah. That's weird that you're out of the game then. Because most people that smoke weed are way into video games. Yeah, I mean, like I have a few games like on my phone, but that's just more of like almost like 80-D thing,

just I just need something to. Like a public game. Yeah, I do that. That's constantly my thing. I'm not a big checking social media or social media guy, but I'm on my phone a lot Just like keeping myself like occupied I have alien shooter I was working comedy works and they have a gal again the back And I was like man, I bet there's one on my phone and that's been it for me. I'm fuck gal

I guess the best man. It was one of my favorites. I want to start playing and I was like, oh, it's got to be a version for my phone. And then I've just been an alien shooter nonstop. I do feel I do feel a 40 though now. Like I got about spider man. I beat that was fun. It's kind of mindless and it was sort of easy, which was great.

Yeah. It was like a easy like learning curve on it. But I always get NBA and football. Yeah, that's my shit. And on the road, I bring it still. I play them on the road, but even when I'm home now, I just the time to do it. You know, I mean, like the value of how I'm

poor, I'm getting to a way less and less. I remember getting it and like always taking the package. I mean, well into my 20s and 30s, like open it up. It's like, oh, we got to play mad right now when it comes out. I don't I haven't played the NBA. I have them. I haven't played NBA yet. I think I put on mad ones. I just care too much one and I'm too competitive I know it's good. I know it's good. I have that shit I just have to like beat the whole fucking thing

That's a good I have to sit on my friends next to me and beat the shit out of them too like it just becomes a whole thing Sports give yeah, yeah, that's good. I'm like a friend around during the day. Yeah, like I used to also as a big thing of like not turning it off very much. I just played my own seasons and there's no like, yeah, I saw something on Instagram when they showed a picture of all the different playstations and Xboxes that went through all the different, I was like, I know like one of these devices, I think. I don't know. I haven't played video games since it was the, you know, the ones that he's the joysticks, but I love the arcade when I show up like I go to the vintage arcades they have in my country. I go for burn I were at some place in Grand Rapids. Yeah, I went to it's called a barcade or something.

Yeah, and you go yeah, they got one on St. Mark's and you go in there and you fucking lose your mind man. If you're like a guy like in the late 40s The early 50 like oh, synopeed. Yes You've done like you've done like virtual reality and then you're like like karate champ You're so into it man. Yeah, there's something to stagic about it No, I wish would learn about the new systems TSA because many times, I don't know what kind of a list my PlayStation 4 is on, but it's been swobbed more than any human being, I'm sure. My fucking H4 podcast recorder, it sucks, every time I got clear and pre-check, it looks

like a stun gun, you know, does look like. TSA is such a joke. They just every time over there, it's a man. When they open, like, the part of the place before it comes off, you're almost like, have you guys ever popped that and it's just been like the red liquid and the clear liquid waiting to mix? Yeah, I hope. Yeah, I heard it with the bed.

It's just over here. Yeah. I love it. I think it's such a massive joke. Even that X-ray machine, that thing never works properly. And it never works. It said my hair. Has that stuff in it?

Yeah. But when I was coming back from Canada a couple weeks ago, Calgary, that was the worst one ever. And I actually, I never argue with TSA because I just want to keep moving. I have TSA pre-check on this side. Of course. So I don't really have too much problem.

You don't blow one tree? I have to get. That's the trick. Yeah, that's the big deal. That's a big, big deal when I have to make the appointment to get that because Coming back now they got me in Canada right when you get in the security line a lady pulled me aside and goes like your Random selected for extra screening sure, okay, and I know I got to take out the PlayStation in my laptop

I go they I've checked bag, but I bring that my book bag Yeah, they take them both out and she goes first time, you have to take the case off of the laptop. Oh, fuck yeah. That's clear. Yeah. It's like gray or whatever, but it's a see through cape. I'm like, it's such a pain in the ass to do.

Oh. All right, so I finally get it off and then she swag. I go, I've never heard that before. She's like, yeah, I know always you gotta take it off. I go, you just know it's not true. Yeah, of course. When I get back in line, I take both things out again. And this is feet from each other.

Yeah. I take both things out, put And this is feet from each other. Yeah. I take both things out, put them in the bins. I send it through. Then I go through the security, they go, you've been randomly selected for the hands up, you know, the hand, the fuck. I go, sure, that's the way I always do anyway on a TSA pre-check, so I'm like, fine, sure.

Do that, my hair. They gotta run their fingers through my hair, I go, okay. Like yeah, because you're good to go. Then I walk over over and she goes who's this the bin with the PlayStation things good I got an extra screen and I go that lady over there literally just extra screen Like right how do I know that I go you guys don't have some sort of communicate like to not slow this process There's already a thousand people here. Yeah, the slowest process down you don't keep in contact I already got that guy stuff just. Just look at it. And she goes and swabs again. Some now swabs the computer on top of the cake. And I go, well, I thought this lady told me that you have to take the

case off. And she just like, she just like was like, just take your stuff. You're just fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But what the fuck are you doing? I want to argue about that. What do you know? I don't have any weed on me. I'm like, I'm like, let's all, yeah, really, I'm like, I'm here. I'm time for my plane, for sure. So I'm like, what are you doing? This is chubby, blev-o, anxiety, and feeling out. Totally, yeah. To me, like, this ship, this is me off more than anything else.

To me, I chalked it up to like, this is capitalism at work. OK? This is perfect. Let's build these machines that just go, boo, boo, and then I'll do a fucking thing. Yeah, job. Let's sell billions, and billions of dollars worth of fucking machines, or hundreds of millions worth of machines all over the world

Spread the mount for the illusion of safety See I think it's just another metal detector. It's like a worse Using the wrong and using the thing you have on the beach Some old guy. Yeah. I'm a great historian. You want me to come in here? I didn't do this. I'm a bottle of pleasure. Oh, bomb. I got a buffalo nickel.

Those are my balls. What does that? It's the same as the street cleaner. I don't know how the fuck that even got sold. And every city has it. Push it off to the curb. Yeah, that's it. Wait it and push it off to the curb.

Oh, I was at things fours just to write as tickets, you know, like, just say, Hey, we parked here on Tuesdays. You're fucked for a ticket. Don't send some machine going by making mud. You want to hear, you want to hear a New York lucky that I live on a, I don't have a car in the city anymore, but when I did, I live on a police station block. Yeah. So all that, like, alternately, the street has to do with street cleaning. It's 100% it's all that's to do with. And I said to keep that job going,

but because the cops don't play by anyone's fucking rules. Yeah. They just don't street sweep our block. So if you park, you don't have to even pay attention to the signs also because they can't tell whose car is, if they start ticketing, they might ticket the fucking guy. They don't tick it anybody. I appreciate it.

So our one block is just like, so if you park. I'm on the same thing because when I went to Jay's house, he goes, this is great block police here, so no crime and parking and everything. And then my block, same thing, the biggest precinct in New York, you know. So when people come over for the podcast and stuff, I'm like, you're fine right in front of the stairs right there. There's no one on my block. And ever know what people just walk by. There's no homeless, nothing out there.

Well, it's funny. There is are being a police block. There is a weird element on the street a lot. But so I think it deters like crime as far as I don't think anyone's coming to break in across the police station for sure, but I will say what criminals, if you're local and listening, you should know, they, the last thing they feel like doing in that police station is reporting or dealing with any problem at all. I've had a couple, I had a guy who came at me weird

on my steps and I literally put my hand on his chest as like, hey buddy, what are you getting so close for? You're like asking for stuff. It was like a goofy white dude, it wasn't anything that was like a scary situation at all. But my hand on his chest and he fell like in the ground in the car, or something like hit his head.

And it was like, he was talking shit still, but it wasn't, it wasn't a guy to fight. So I went down to the cops and hit his head. And it was like he was talking shit still, but it wasn't a guy to fight. So I went down to the cops and I was like, hey, you guys might want to like drunk tank this guy for a few hours because he's he can't stand up. He's so hammered. And they go, all right, we'll call it out to dispatch. No, no, no, no. What are you four guys should probably just go grab and they go, it's not how it works.

We have to call in the dispatch. Go, all right, whatever. And then I saw this guy wobble down the street terrified the other one was Christine my girlfriend goes running in one day I was on the couch she goes Jay you gotta come outside there's a guy shitting on our stoop man what are you gonna do so I go by the way and immediately I'm like if you're sitting on the stoop I've already pictured him in my head and I go I could beat this guy yeah I go out I literally run out

very I like making like a fat accomplishment that makes you feel athletic yeah I have three step stoop yeah yeah you could you could step up all three in one shot but I did the the pull the railing jump over the shit and then hauled ass down the block because she points out of the guys. And it is just some grids out, bum, almost like just dirty. Clearly as it has covered with shit, I'm sure. He's like still bent on his jeans and I grab him by the arm because he's were across

the street from the police station at this point where he went to. We walked down. Did you step over the turd, though? I jumped over the turd, man. I'm fucking clean, we walked down. Did you step over the turn, though? I jumped over the turn. Did you miss that part? I'm fucking clean with you, man. Why'd you chase him? Yeah, why'd you chase him?

He had toilet paper. He was like, dude, fucking fish. I'm like, well, I'm scared. If I saw the guy, if he was going to get aggressive, I'm like, well, then it's a good stat pad for knocking a guy out. 100%. I got this guy.

He's going to be frail. And if he comes at me, and I'm like, oh, this is an easy knockout. And I get go there you go look at me look at my record Yeah, yeah, all could be 27 wins more than against great dudes Pat my stats but no, but anyway, I just see by time I'm running towards him I'm like this guy I'm just gonna walk him into the police station So I grab him and uh... and i mean he left like two soft serve files is shit

huge and uh... i go and i bring him in the police station and i literally i'm like since arrest you i thought i was so cool i walk him in i walk him through the first door like with him the second one is drops is goes dead weight on me and it stops like in the middle of the doorway, basically. And the cops.

No, and the cops are like, he's going like, what's up? And he just kept saying what was going on. And you know, I'm doing the, we watched the video on Legion of the Skechis today, like the wound up adrenaline, like that woman who keyed the car. If you saw it, it's just going crazy. I'm out of my mind, but you're not running or anything. So it's not even me.

I'm not even, you know, the distance I ran wasn you're not running or anything. So it's not even me. I'm not even, you know, the distance I ran wasn't what was at a breath. It was just like that adrenaline, like what's about to happen here? So I'm like, here you go. I'm going to guy goes, you should on my floor. You should on my steps. Like why am I at a breath? I'm like, you're turning to a barber.

So like, here's like, you're in a fucking time. What's happening here? I'm like, I'm like, I'm throwing the police station and I do, since the rest I go, I go, hey, here you go, I made you work easy. This guy just fucking shit on my front steps, man. And they go, what? And I tell him, I go, this guy just shit on my front steps.

Like, arrest him. And they go, as Dickie is this. That's why I said, it's always very funny. I have never, except for ones that have become fans in some weird way. Never in my life once. Had a cop come to me, it's just like a citizen asking for help and help me.

I literally don't have a story of it. I had him come when I've called for help and then what are you doing to being a kid? Like laugh at me for calling them. Or very weird shit. He goes, oh, he goes, so I go shit on my steps. He goes, I'm not guess what man? He goes, that's not illegal anymore. Talk to your mate.

Now they're gonna stay all hate the mayor. They go, talk to your mayor about that. It's not illegal anymore, I go. What? And he goes, yeah, buddy, sorry. And I go, all right, well, I go, he was my girlfriend saw him came out to him, so he exposed himself to her. So there you go, legal exposure.

He goes, look it up, man. That ain't illegal anymore. Let me just say that and I'll pick you about it. Then, is that true though? I can't be true. I know that they saw Skydubby. You gotta be this. They said no.

So we leave kind of defeated and I guess like their last ditch effort to do something. I don't know if we went down the block when we came back. There was a cop standing there with his arms, watching the homeless guy. Sit on our steps. They gave him a gown of water. Oh. And you know the brown paper towels of like school. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they just, what, they're sitting there watching him just pour water and smear his shit over the stuff. I go, no. This isn't helping. He goes, and the cops going, he goes, no, no, they'll eventually come on. Yeah. I'm like, please, next person.

And this. Oh, my God. Just to apologize. I'm like, please, next person. Oh my God, you're so much fun. Just to be honest. I was just about to come out and bleach mob the fucking stuff. Oh, no. I would, I just imagine like if I was witnessing that, I would just take the, if I can, take the biggest

bucket of water and just chunk it at it. That's the only thing that I can. Just fire, exactly. That's all the fire hose, that guy. But you don't have that, oh, who, who, how do you just shit in public like that? This is all the time. That was the only thing that I just fire. That's all that fire hose that guy, but you don't have that. Ooh, how do you just shitting public like that? This is all the time. That was the least degrading moment of his day. Yeah, probably.

Dude, I walk the gigs every night, man. I see people shitting everywhere. Like, for a really easy time, I have never seen anybody shitting a girl. That's nice. I got this shitting up right on fourth. He's just sitting there. I'm walking by. He's like, I was like, oh, fuck. That's the guy just got you shooting up right on fourth. He's just sitting there. I'm walking by. He's like

I've seen a guy just take a piss Treated by public girl pissing So it's so weird my it's like seeing a unicorn. It's weird. I think I've. I think see I've seen I've seen like girls and dresses for club It's just like between cars and their eyes all watching. It's like I think that's it. Yeah, that's a porn fucking fetish Public pissing right it's called xp.com Here's my login if anybody wants to share I've heard something guys shit. I'm still not over. I'm still not okay Let's just do let's just do this and get it out there. All right guys You're missing and shooting doesn't give you a boner I'm still not over, I'm still not okay, let's just do this and get it out of there. Alright guys, you're gonna be...

You're gonna be... You're gonna be... You're gonna be... You're gonna be... Absolutely, this will definitely help you, gentlemen. Remember the days when you were always ready to go? Well back when you would finish with a lady and then you'd be ready to perform again and when you performed, it was never at three quarters past.

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I think I think I mean, yeah, look guys, if you didn't know, it's good to you, you'll be 100% whenever you need to pay. And not only that, but it can shorten your recovery period if you want to go again in the same night. Woo.

I gotta shoot blue to between my toes because my neck veins are dead. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, blue to ship straight to your door in the discreet package. So no one in person. No one in person. No one person does visit the waiting in the pharmacy.

And best of all, I've been told that you did get harder faster. Let me give it this. Make me read this. Let me give it this. I'll give you a good disclaimer on this one. Yes. To pay attention for. I took, I've never taken a vogue.

I've taken gas stations. All right. Flagler before. Bumblebee shit. Yeah. Let me go. Let me go. Wee.

No, like rhinos and samarins. Yeah. Yeah. All those. And they, now I know those work that you just participate normally. And when you get hard, it's like raging. I get that. I always saw Viagra and the Seattle's like the supplemental stuff is supposed to like you take it and then you get

like an involuntary raging boner and then fuck. So the other way I had the blue chewed at it. Christine goes you want to try the blue chewed it. So I go yeah so I chewed it up. Christine goes, you wanna... You try it? You just try the blue cheer. So I go, yeah, so I chewed it up. Yeah. It's a commercial for pay attention to what you're supposed to do. Yeah. I chewed it up and sat there,

and maybe like 15 minutes later, Christine, so I was trying to guess what you're gonna say. And I went, wait, wait, it didn't happen yet. She goes, what do you mean? I go, no, I think it's like, I'll let you know when it's like, where I'm rocked up. I go, I'm not gonna go for it. I go, I don't wanna make sure that it's working before we jump into it. Yeah. And then she's like, I'll let you know when it's like, where I'm rocked up, I got me to go before, I gotta, I wanna make sure that it's working

before we jump into it. Yeah. And then she's like, all right. And then like an hour, two hours, then we both just got tired and didn't fuck it all. And then I was like, and then we read it up on it and it's like, you're just supposed to go as normal and then same thing, when you get hard, it'll be.

You're lactating it. You're lactating it the whole same way. It doesn't just give you a no matter what's happening. Yeah, you started it. You can't buy agres somebody had a few enroll in the level. You started going in the first place. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing.

It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. of two of mine didn't see this. Have you tried that goat stuff though? The goat weed or whatever? No. It definitely looks like fake cars.

I'm gonna try any of that because I'm always afraid of like fucking heart attacks. You know, like your heart gets raised in a ship and you're heard. Yeah, Aaron Bergs of that about the gas station stuff before. The gas station has always been fine for me. Yeah. I've never tried gas stuff. The boot shoe is better, it's significantly better.

And it's doctors are looking at it, not a guy at a bodega. 100%. Yeah. That's better. I have a look at the guy going, goes, oh, he's good. He's good. Get you a real strong heart. I still want to go back to TSA.

I'm still hot about that. Sure. Let's go for it. Let's talk about the three or four ounces. Why don't people go to protecting our borders? Yes. Yeah. You going?

Oh, my God. I should know your name more by your earrings than your name. Yes, 100%. Shuck, wand. The 3.4 ounces. What is that deterring? Like, it's the idea that you'll have too many liquid on you that will blow up something up, supposedly.

I roll through with some whole shit. I don't have much shit. Always. My thing is full of stuff. Never once have I stopped. Just white guy thing. I mean, with it. I'm going to have like 30 of always. I my thing is full of stuff. Never once have I stopped just white guy thing. I mean, I need to go back. I need to go back to die horror. The vengeance logic. Yeah. But when the guy took the two things, he put them on the edge of a paperclip, I think. Yeah, it was a paperclip and touched them both on the end and through it and a desk blew up. That's it. And then I don't know 3.5 ounces of that. I think we'll take out a city.

100% needed to take that discovery channel and See if this is actually plausible. It was just it was that name of that show. There was a name of that show Mythbusters mythbusters. Yeah, we got to get a whole Jeremy Irons. Let's get a lock on his location If the answer is a phone with some kind of goofy accent McLean The answer is a phone with some kind of goofy accent My claim it's not a real person mr. Ion's I want to speak the John McClane John McClane. Is he sitting there chewing his glasses Have it or not die with the vengeance already Fuqua with his fucking oh, that's right with his braids talking shit

Arties on that yeah, he's in the game. I remember he's wearing the Sandwich ball. Yeah, no shit. And Arties one of the black, the group of the black is a whore. He's one of the basketballs through it on the sand. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, that was fine. That was awesome. Can you find that?

He was the same. Yeah. Except that he used to have the twist. The dreads. I love Artie, man. Oh, that's great. That guy's so amazing. I didn't know he was in it.

Actually, it's one of my go-to's sometimes. I just like doing I just love Samuel Jackson in that movie. Oh, yeah, why I watch For movie it's one of the better die-hards. I think I thought so too. I thought it was one in three those were my favorites Now to's the best whoa Dennis Franz. No He's doing Here we go Would you say about the fuck is funny because he looks older there now. He looks younger right now.

You know, you know what's going to see your Arnie? You're going to be fine. Pick out your dream car now. If you don't know, I don't know who I was in a very devastating accident. With Tracy Morgan, he did wake up $30 million richer though. Yeah, the most successful victim ever. It was really sad. And that limo accident reminded me of that. That was crazy.

How many people? That's fucking two people. That's horrible. It was really disgusting. That's horrible. And what was it legit accident? Yeah, the driver apparently wasn't supposed doesn't license me. Yeah, no license They're in a hill like that blue throw a red light or a booth or a stop sign. That would happen He blew through a stop sign. Yeah, I still don't get the how the fuck does everybody

On the stop side. Yeah, that must be Going to some kind of clip. I don't know what he hit they were going to a sword a knife themed prom It's like I was at the anchor man thing the slow motion when everything's flipping over and all like the There's a scorpion lands a whole different not everybody died from the accident. It was all kind of hilarious limo things Somebody got a playboy Emblem door lock through the head just 20 final destinations. That had to be a gruesome scene. So we got a bunch of rest in purple lighting. It was a Quavacea bottle.

You know, it's crazy. It's last one. I want to join you, Jay. But this is too much, man. Was that peanut butter? I do. Last year. I always say, a victims, parents, whatever

are listening to a podcast today, they're laughing also. Yeah. They're looking for the release. I promise you. 100%. No, I was really devastated. I didn't know there was that many kids involved in one thing.

They like, like, four sisters. It was really fucked up. All the way. I don't know. Dude, look at last week, there was a drunk drive or just rolling down sunset. And he just drove right into the whiskey of go-go. Checked out.

Oh, yeah. I just fucking nuts, man. Just there out front, bands chilling. I'll send just. Did he hit anybody? Yeah, he hit. Was it one of those like freaking things? Hang on, as far as it's not as far whiskey.

It's not tequila, Mike. That's how whiskey is. That's how it is spelled. Oh, is it? Yeah. I'm an asshole like I'm sorry I didn't even make a racial joke also. I'll take it back. I mean this is fucking crazy. You have to laugh. You watch those videos that people just like narrowly miss death on a regular basis. Yeah. Yeah. Since people just walking down the street and just cross over like six buses go by and then just like the bag with that just like that tsunami one yesterday where the

people are driving and then they just turn around on the highway and the tsunami is coming out. That looked pretty fake right. It's got me when I got when Hurricane Sandy now I always driving away from it and it swallowed my car on four sides. Really? I had to get out and just let the water in the car. Here it is look at this. Here it is in west Hollywood captured a drunk driver slandered that couple that was laying on the hood were just like no fucking way we're okay right now I mean you see the fair he went on top of her what if he

put up the guy she said a cool line he goes I mean at least ask first what if he just starts chewing the blue right now I mean I want to just went forward I mean you know what we're still alive is just fuck outside on this hood right now. Me too, man. I want to just went forward. I mean, you know what, we're still alive. Let's just fuck outside on this hood right now. Dude, the little other stuff is such a bummer. You have to like, you see, you don't want to join in on it,

which I get, but it's like, I don't know, man. I have such anxiety if I don't laugh at shit, what the fuck else are you going to pass? We had a thing on Legion of Skanks, I remember that. It was so fun when the last school shooting the florida one the port reken kid uh... nathan ds no no nathan i can't remember his last time for you i say i believe uh... nathan nathan i can't remember his name you'd find it the

but he uh... he released a video afterwards or they released a video of that they found him saying why he was doing it was a girl was over some check that he wanted it that he liked and she didn't like him and he fucking went nuts on the school and we sit on Legion of Skanks uh I was like I was like everybody's like oh man this is like a national sadness because except that one Puerto Rican girl from the school it was like did you see Nathan shot up that school for me and it was funny and then someone did ask everyone's you though you think school shootings are funny

You know do I have to answer that like what's like no no one thinks school shootings are fun But all you could do is like laugh at what you could laugh at with it. I have a daughter in high school. It's terrifying But like it is terrifying what we're a comedy park. Yeah, these are all common. We're gonna come and be like It's just a terrible moment here. You know, I mean like go what the news will tell you how sad it all is and fucked up and It's just a terrible moment here. You know, I mean, like, go what? The news will tell you how sad it all is and fucked up and then andbellish it even to make it more. Yeah, love it.

Love it. Love it. It's funny. So I was like, yeah, I'm like, what are you going to do? It's like a fuck, of course, it's like, I don't, it's a shame you have to say to anybody. The more it goes, no, it's hard. Like 18 people got killed.

Yeah. And that didn't know from one second that the last that that was going to happen. I mean, I tried so much, man, what I, what I, when I drive a lot, but I use to drive a ton, but even I do a happen. That's here. I drive so much, man, what I would I drive a lot, but I used to drive a ton, but even I do a lot of highway driving now if I drive to a gig or something, I drive tired. All these things were like in an instant. It could be a lot of crap.

I've fallen asleep in the car before when I first started sitting down by the chair. I woke up. I was like, whoa, what the fuck? Oh, but you woke up and you were fine? Oh, yeah, it was just right. No, I woke up a Oh, Roch, you ended up I woke up a different lane and and a Significantly down the road you know like a hundred yards a hundred yards A hundred yards Fucking Jeffie Chase If you fall asleep for one second it can be the end of your life. I've probably fallen asleep for ten hell

Yeah, you open your eyes you're like all right. this isn't with the sign that was under me when I like, Lance, remember looking. Not even counting all the time. You still try to pull over. Yes, still try. But definitely that experience fucked me up so bad that I can't, I just can't, if I get like a little bit, I'll just stop and just like, no, that experience was so dramatic.

Oh, man. I mean, I woke up a good mile down from where I was. Like, I was in Houston, I took a ride on off of 59 Highway, and I'm right on Belair, and then about a mile plus down the road. This guy was obviously farming for a while, because he was pissed, and I woke up in the median, and I saw this no U-turn sign. I mean, I couldn't stop.

I was already in the median going, God knows how fast. And then, boom, the sign flies off, stop sign, couldn't stop. I was already in the median going, God knows how fast. And then boom, just like the sign flies off. Stop sign, boom, stop. No need to, you can you turn and don't need to stop anymore at all. And I just pull off the side of the famous parking spot. And this guy was like, I've been falling for a while. Are you fucking drunk? And I was just, I was 19.

I was doing stand up as much as I could. And I was just definitely killing myself. And I was like, I'm not drunk. And I'm a blowing in his face. I was like, I blew in his face out of anger. This this this Gay Dude came out from like the apartment complex is like, I saw this. Oh my God. It was crazy to flat tires and this and the Gay Dude the Gay Bade dude comes out and he's like, you okay? We call the police. So you okay? We call the ambulance. I was like, oh shit, I'm fine. I'm gonna call the police now. I'm in a poor situation. This guy just pulls up and walks up to me. He goes, hey, you know, I just help people on side of the road

This is how I make extra money and I'm a mechanic. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Had two for he turned on my car. He was like, there's a shut shut off switch and a back trunk open it boom all of a sudden Cops are trying to look for him like hey guys hide hide we all hide and it was just like a very traumatic situation for me That I'll never fucking fall asleep in the car She got a learn from that. That's not a bad one to have to learn on that wasn't so bad. Oh, it wasn't I was on a show on IFC years ago for a better band than one of the members of the band died Maybe a little over a year ago now almost two years ago now, but he was at a band called adrenaline mob and they tour bus

Yeah, that was crazy. Torbos fucking Blue attire no pulled over on the side of the highway to change the tire Tractor trail or swerved and fucking E. R fucking erased them. He's the only death. Sput the car in half. I mean, it tore us. And you're just like, uh, so I mean, I would always say that I'm like, at all, I said, if you're tired, pull over, find a place to, but get off the fucking highway. If you have a bad tire going like ride sparks, until you get off the fucking highway. It ain't worth that, man. I agree. And by the way, I've pulled over. I've changed a tire to highway at least twice. It's not scary. Yeah, just by chance. You know, it happened to be on the highway. I've pulled over

on the side of the road because people are like, dude, I really have to piss. And you're just like, dude, there's no way. I don't know. But I don't know. I might risk you before I have someone pissing a gay to a ball. I thought I'd pull over and then I'm going to run deep into the woods. Let me know you're done pissing. Yeah. Yeah, he's pissing at the car and hearing the woods. No, I've had those, I've had a situation where the change is tired of the middle of the night. It's crazy.

In the middle of the night too, you can't do anything. But thankfully, you know, you have apps and you have your phones. I just downloaded this like strobe light app, where it's like cop app and I'm putting it on my iPad. Yeah. You know, my iPad's fucking huge. I put it on there and I just let it just flash and I put my phone up to let it flash.

I make sure just to take extra precautions. I was scared, it was fucking nothing, but 18 wheelers flying by me. I mean, those guys are the worst. I mean those guys are the worst I honestly I didn't even know when I when my father died when I was 14 His friend gave me a job at his This is gonna sound very whatever it's a comedian store It's a comedian store. It was used to be at 7-11.

It's nice to work there. And it was like these little glass pipes with a rose in it. And I was just like, why are they, I was so innocent. I was like, why are they buying this for their wife? But whatever, you know, and why is he buying this SOS scrubber thing with it? I got it and get it at all.

And then somebody walked in, was like, nah man, it's smoking crack out of this. You knew me times to butter up my mom. Yeah. I've purchased those rows of my life, not realizing. And then it took me dating my girlfriend now who has a history of smoking crack in her life. Yeah. It goes together called stems. Those are solely to smoke crack out of I was like, hmm, no idea. No idea. I'm really crack-minded. So naive. I had mom. So soon in my fault, my mom's a crack at. I had my mom. So, so to my fault, my mom's a crack at. I had no clue, man.

And the only, like, the, I would say like 90 plus percent of the people that were buying them were all truck drivers. No shit. They were all truck drivers. Cars in general is fucking suck. Just like that we drive and people get in the car, like, losing your life in a car accident is so fucking pointless. Oh, man.

And it's such a fucking bullshit thing. I never knew. Stand in New York. I'm sorry, man. But I stand in New York. You still have a bartender who is going to the C.B. comedy club. And that was the thing in here in New York.

It's got a rich, good guy. And drummer in like some hardcore bands. And a really talented guy and literally driving home. His brother was at the book or at Stanton York at the time. So as him, his brother and his girlfriend, and then just a guy go on the wrong way, drunk down 95, just being an instant that he was immediately gone. Girlfriend, facially scarred for life, big gay brother fine.

I don't know what happened. I don't know. He was covered in jizz, he just slipped into the cracks. Yeah. Steve Aegean, I were doing this gig in the desert for Eagles of Death Metal, you know, and we were coming home Sunday morning, just midday. We're doing like 70 and all of a sudden Steve just goes, whoa, a guy was coming down the highway the other way, 80 miles an hour easily.

And we fucking swerved and cars were gone and the guy was just he didn't even stop he just kept going wrong side of the highway full blown. It's amazing but when you feel like you learned a lesson or two it there is a time limit or I feel like you'll do that thing again like I have to especially after Rick. I was saying from that car accident like passed away. He's like anything you're like man you can't text or even look through for a song was going on your phone.

And then like, you know, months later, you find yourself just like, I want to hear the song. And you always think about, I took a dangerous one. I did a snow drive that they ended up canceling the gig anyway. I knew there was a Hartford improv or something. It was like a blizzard coming, but they told me that the show was still going as of now. And I ran into a fucking car. And like when I got there, I was actually pretty,

they canceled the show. So I went there, was just snowed in, no food, nothing available, and a blizzard at this hotel. And I just, I mean, great. Thank God there was like almost no cars on the highway at all. I'm the only idiot because like, I would have been in 15 accidents. Oh, easy.

I was out of the, but I was like, basically hitting Virgin Snow though. No one else was out of those trouble. But I was basically hitting Virgin Snow, though. No one else would be like, I'm the only idiot that was trying to get a gig. And this was months ago where everyone, my camps, even going like, cancel the week. Yeah, cancel the week. This isn't how you're going to kick that out of your place

if you don't have this money. What do you think I'm like, I'm an idiot. Yeah, it was stupid of me to have that. I would actually blame the club too. I mean, it's just fucking stupid to that They just don't want to take the blame. Oh, we're gonna cancel on you or whatever. It's like guys It's a fucking snowstorm coming. Why don't you just deal with the situation, you know, and get over it It's a local for a good deal. Yeah, exactly

Exactly, but I have had that happen when I was driving from golf to is right outside of Toronto It was going to Toronto airport. It was a huge blizzard. And I was already stuck there for a few days. And then I was like, oh, there's flight starting to pop off. I'm going to try to catch one of these. And I skied the fucking highway with the car, the entire fucking way. I have never been more terrified. And actually my saving grace was there was an 18-wheeler in front of me.

And he was just fucking a path for me. But I was still just like, that tail was just going back and forth. Like a dull path. He's like, I am five seconds of playing with the break before this car is going to stop. Yeah, I can't. You can't push the breaker. That can be dark. I never touched a break.

I never touched the break. I just kept cruising it like whatever, you know, however fast that could go. It's probably like 30 miles an hour. That's the worst thing. There's no way out of it. You're fucking on that highway. Yeah. Cruising and like whatever, you know, however fast that could go it's probably like 30 miles an hour I have no way out of it. There's your fucking you know on that highway. Yeah Go by you like fuck you those were those are the guys you're like Spraying in and you see him a mile down like in the corner on the shoulder That's having a couple times where I see him just go by black eyes is probably the worst You can see it on the shoulder that's having a couple times where I see him just go by black eyes is probably the worst.

You can see it. That's the best. I've been in a no like no damage like everybody walked away didn't even exchange information accident on ice though, but it was just that like it's the weirdest thing when you can say like paragraphs to yourself in the process of getting ready to hit the car. Here's holding the break and you're like it's not stopping. Here we go.

All right. I hope it's the person who hasn't sure how we're going to be all right. And And here we go. All right, I hope it's the person who hasn't shown how we're gonna be all right. And, I don't know if you're like, that's a good fact. And you're like, hey, get out, you're like, sorry, there's nothing I, I hit the break, seven car lengths ago.

I was screaming at my window for you to go, go! I've been in a rental car. You ever do this, you get a rental car. I was with a comic in Denver, we're trying to get the blue tooth working in the rental car because it never seems to sink right up. We got to get the sinked up. And I remember the comic looking over at me as he was driving and he said, I haven't looked at the road for five minutes.

And that's where I go. No, I go, no, either of I. What the fuck are we doing? I mean, we're just blazing down the highway looking at the screen not once at the road Now the car is worn you to give you that thing like a don't do these things while the car is in motion You're like got it mom Make a colder turn the base up yeah, I'm trying to figure out a brand new car, it's a whole sound system, like you're driving,

because it's a little high on this thing. It's like a race. It's an ethnic way to do something. All the time you're going, all the time you're going, I got the insurance. I'm on the car. I'll tell you what,

I have a good American Express, I think it. It comes automatically. It does, but that'll hit you still, and you'll get hit with all the things. I'll it comes out of it. We don't automatically it does, but that'll hit you still. And so you'll get hit with all the things. Yeah, I'll tell you what, for $14 a day, which is probably about $20 days, the most expensive insurance of it. I'm right on car.

And they go, you could bring that thing back like a bowl. I'm going to be like, this is what's left of it. And they go, and I always I just do it. I think it's more worth just to buy their insurance. Well, you got to do that. All the time, they don't even, if you buy the insurance, they don't go out and do the walk around. They're like, yeah, you got the insurance.

But if you don't, they're out there, like there's a mark here. There's a mark here. No, you should do that if I buy the insurance. No, but I've got to. If you got it then they're like. They don't put you right. If you try to use the American Express one,

but then I'll do that because I don't want to come back and do it. I'm just a scratch. I think it's it's just where there wasn't even scratches. Yeah, so I'm like, hey, I'm like, hey, there's a thing on the right. That's sort of because when I'm leaving, there's like, you notice anything. I was like, yeah, and I just circle, circle, circle, and I sign. I swear to God, like majority of the time I'll do that. Because first of all, fuck them. They're always trying to talk you into it. Oh, are you sure? Oh, this is this kind of state. Is this kind of laws?

Man, fuck you. I'm trying to play these mental games with me, so I can give you the extra of $20 a day. I'm not gonna do it. I'm covered with my own insurance. I'm constantly fighting them on them. I got the full insurance. I got full insurance if I decided to get a convertible. I'm gonna have a good time. I'll go ahead and get the insurance if it's like an expensive car and I'll abuse the

fuck out of it. I'll just take risks. You know, burnout. Burnouts. Yeah, burnouts. My buddy hit a car and it fucking smashed the whole car and he had the full coverage and the guy was okay. So we got in a Uber and just went to the gig and then said their cars on this block right

here. And you never heard from them again Yeah, I heard from I heard from somebody a while back They go oh if you want which I generally tend to do anyway I guess but they go if you want to smoke and not get in any kind of trouble in a rental car Tell them when you're doing the walk around tell them it smells like smoke a little bit in the car I go that's brilliant So then I went to rent a car the next time I go to the guy I go, I go through all the marks, sing, and then I come in and I go, also it smells like cigarette smoke a little

bit and here he goes, no, don't. I go, yeah, no, you don't, I'm new. You guys, you know what you guys are doing? You guys, you go, you guys, you're a smoker, I can see the cigarettes, it's probably you, I go, it might be me. Yeah, it might be me. You guys, you gotta, he goes, well, you're a smoker. I can see the cigarettes. Probably you, I go, it might be me. Yeah, it might be me. You don't have to do that next time. You gotta do, you gotta have a cigarette.

And then after you done, get in it for a few minutes. You know, I then get out and get in. Bring it back. Yeah, you gotta get in the way. Kinda smells like cigarettes in here. Like, is your right? You're right. I smoke, I smoke my ass off.

You just gotta make sure you don't throw up. And I call, I never got a constant. I've never gotten trouble in a knock on wood, man. But I I never get I've never got in trouble in a knock on woodman, but I've never ever once never got in trouble on a car or hotel hotel hotel once One of the housekeeping service people came in and she would just like she did that like smells good But you just want to might be careful because like the hotel manager is around stuff and then once in Vancouver I'm a neighbor complaining call it they're so, by the way, I loved it because it's the same way I would be. I'm so non-confrontational and shit like that. Yeah.

The guy called me had my temperament on. He was like, hey, I'm not saying you are, but if you're smoking at all, I made a balcony. So I was actually smoking the balcony at the room next door. It was complaining. And it's just like, you know, there's no smoking, but that's also marijuana. And, you know, it's like, so you just know, I go, but I'm not, I'm not saying you are. I'm just saying, you know, maybe we didn't tell you

with the rules, I was making sure we got everybody to know. Yeah. That there's no, I'm like, got it. And then I just smoking. I've like the hundred times I've smoked in a real car. I've only been charged once. You smoked so much? And that's because, yeah.

Really? Yeah, that's the only time. The trick is to close the vents, and then you get the high powered, only been charged once. You smoked it? Yeah. Really? Yeah. That's the only time. The trick is to close the vents and then you get the high powered like air freshener. Yeah. And then before you return it. Foot spray. Foot spray.

Foot spray. Foot spray. Foot spray. Foot spray. That charcoe in it. Foot spray when you get out of the car. Really? Don't be in the car with heavy.

Yeah. It's a pretty heavy mip. But when you get back in the car, it won't be like it didn't. It's insane. I found that out in the hotel room. I just, I sprayed that, then I forgot what it will be like it didn't it's insane. I found that at the heart I found that at the hotel room. I just I sprayed that then I forgot what it's Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, that's it's amazing and I sprayed inside the vents and then I'll close the vents and I'll turn AC all the way up and I'll just get the fuck out of the car for a little bit and then on the way there I'll just roll down the windows let it go and this is where they'll get you It's the ashes on the line of the floor. I know.

You got to just do a little wipe down. I know everywhere to go. I bring a thing of small thing of wipes. And I bring the foot spray. It's always in the car. And a car duster. Yeah, it's just like that. I'm going to look into that.

Foot spray, the shit out of this, the root. It doesn't stick on anything, but it doesn't smell like anything. Foot spray. You talking about the athletes foot spray? Yeah. No, no. Like, odor eaters, like foot spray. Voters eaters. You're talking about like the athletes foot. No, no, like, like, odor eaters like foot. Oh, yeah, charcoal. Charcoal in it. You know, I, that's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very but you're right, but but what it's amazing where Ash goes when you're done

Yeah, like the center couple there. I hold the cigarette the window. It's just like this It's the lining that got me once Yeah, you see it also if it's against that window the little area where you just you didn't even notice you You're just barely touched and that side in the back as you also the rains yes in the back window will have it all over you don't know things have they will catch you like that but I know I'm thorough now oh I'm on it I don't let that shit get me for sure you're not gonna get all that work you could just quit smoking that's true that's the nasty the tenacity we showed to go through all of that I know right

I'm like about to say what they sell by the next to the odor eater is at the check out line cigarettes yeah I want me to do it I didn't know about that trick that's a great trick I mean for a while I'm more embarrassing part as I already owned it because I sprayed in my shoes yeah no I don't I just wear flying it's now so I don't have any problems just go Nick or just that just the shoes that are knit on the outside. They're like, no, they're really fine. Yeah, if they get wet, then you're fucked. That's true.

Yeah, like that. That's an interesting thing. And then we'll never stop smelling it. I'm fucked right now, because I'm addicted to that shoe. I got some on right now. And these are out here. Come on, Dean, you're rocking roll, baby. I know, but my feet die in this city.

And I'll also think these are fun right now. They're not. Dean, look're rocking roll, baby. I know, but my feet die in this city, and I'll all sun. Do you think these are fun right now? Oh, yeah, they're not. Dean, look at, I'm 52. I rocked that up until about six months ago, and I was like, all right, a fucking, you got me. Time to get comfortable. Fuck the other, I was like, here comes old man, old man.

I'm all about comfortable shoes. I'm just gonna shit, like, I just try to find the nice with, you know, that I can wear out and perform with. And I changed a lot over the over the last couple of comfort in my feet. Yeah, I did Sturgis. Ah, I did Sturgis in. This is it, baby. This is it. Yeah.

Yeah. Ben needs take 30 of them on the road. No problem. But what did I do? I did Sturgis, the bike week thing out there. Yes, yeah. And I was doing like a TV and I was walking around a ton in Chuck Taylor's. Oh, the worst.

Fuck that. I'm saying, at the back, at one point, it felt like my feet were just like on fire. It was like, it was going to cause a problem with it. I had to put on like just awful shoes. We could find like within a few miles drive. Some new balance. The stardust in the middle of nowhere. Yeah.

And just some plain white sneakers to put on for any to put it. It was crazy. And I was like, I can't do that again. Yeah, I can't. These boots are actually very comfortable. I get the thing is up. I worked for a long time. That would fuck my back up. Yeah, my back is my, it's unbelievable.

If I wear a different shoe that's not like, doesn't work well with me, everything is fucked. Like, my whole back will be jagged. My legs will be stuck. I've been wearing dog marns my whole life. They say they're aerosols. I don't feel one fucking air thing in it. My thought marons are my word. They're there. Oh man Heavy is shit, but they fucking look good

I'm one of my building up mountain. I don't need this like what am I doing the ones? I wear on I think both my Specials are the one pair. I only pull them out now for like something because they look so cool. But I mean, when I step in them now, because these are like, palladium, they're called. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're made to be comfortable on a day, every day, boob days kind of look the part.

But those when I step in them, then I feel like, uh, fucking gene Simmons. Like I'm three feet long. I am. Like they're so big. And when you walk, you're like, steps in these things, like I'm three five I am like they're so big and when you walk you're like steps in these things like I mean that's why my calves are jacked from lugging

around these boots. Yeah I hear you man I like where the jack is the weight I'm carrying up time. Yeah I was the other lowly as both of them help. Yeah they do I got Michael Johnson legs I'm like you saying both in the waist down well from the below the dick down Not the whole waist down

Above the waist I'm like Bruce Jenner Katelyn Jenner strong runners legs and a pussy Hey, man made puss. Hey guys, football season is well underway. All right, let me ask you, how are you doing? Winning on the office pool, huh? Totally. Huh? Nobody.

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I don't even watch it anymore. Just with friends. Yeah, just with friends. Yeah, I stopped watching it I wanted to bet on the fight. I really did I just you know I grew up in the 80s with all the great quarterbacks, you know. And it's like, now it seems like, you know, you got to look at those guys. You had like Steve Young or Montana, whatever, you had plunk it, you had fuk it, now, what's his name from the board. And all those guys, you know, and now there's just like no quarterbacks. You can't touch them, you know, Bill Sims all that stuff Now there's just no quarterbacks

There's a lot of great quarterbacks like you mean Disagree List I mean Tom Brady of course man, it's like list. I mean Tom Brady of course. Yeah, I'm gonna start somewhere right? Yeah, Rostis Burger Aaron Ross is a real burger. Yeah, I think Ben Rostis Burger is pretty insane. My home's even is nuts with the kids. Yeah, I can't. Awesome. Drew Breeze just broke the record. Drew Breeze just passed everybody for a bad thing. I see what you're saying. They were like gunfighters. Yeah, that's exactly how much it was like everybody had a great guy

So it would be there it'd be like marino against L way this weekend You know that's crazy. That's gonna be right. It was crazy Yeah, I was like one of my favorite. Oh, yeah, and then you can't touch them anymore So it's just kind of like how man too many penalties Eagle's got nail in a pretty weak one this week. Yeah, yeah, you're a Eagle's guy, right? Yeah, well There's just it's not gonna be a good season. It's really not gonna be a good season They just lost the just lost the jai for the year Oh, they got to figure out they have to figure the whole back situation ACL. He's done for the year and

Are you an Eagles? Of course. Yeah, and an asshole. It's just about here's good news everyone sixers are gonna be lights out You think so yeah deep playoffs for sure Who did they add this year to the end anybody? Not even about that Wilson Chanlion some some of my bit pieces Mark L. Foltz is playing Ben Simmons Mark L. Foltz and If his outside game is good, they're gonna be fucking pretty pretty tough to be good Who's your pick on me? Then I guess you're going to fill it. Yeah, it's gonna be failure or Boston I think yeah, filling Boston in the in the

I think Joel and beat his next level. No one has any answer for what it is. He does I agree. I think it will. My feeling is that it is going to be Boston and the sixers in the Eastern Conference final. And in the West, I feel like it's going to be the Rockets and the Warriors again.

Yeah, I hope the fucking I'm going to be on the ground. James is so gross. I fucking hate the fact that he went to the lakeers Why would you not just it's he's been playing for so long just finishing just call it a day The filly's like be that but anyway, but be the story of this guy this kid from Akron Who went on the play for the team he grew up loving yeah and played his whole career that one Championships with him and then retire there. It's just a great. I think it's curse and man. I think it's gonna curse. I hate the Iverson story

and he's my favorite athlete of all time. I love Brian Dawkins. I hate that I And I had to do shit too. I hate that I on Iverson's legacy when you really watch the story or documentary ends with him just scurrying around. Like he went to the nuggets and he was fine. It's tough. Yeah. But then like what was the Grizzlies the piston. They've always he was fine. It was tough. Yeah. But then like what was the grisly, the piston? They've always been there and they benched him at one point and then Turkey and it just looks so sad. Oh, it was very sad. Then he came out on that ice cube three on three league and was

horrible. Oh my God. I'm just going to have to play it all. I don't even know where he saw that that way. Where's the fuck? I haven't tried to find that league for two years. It's bad. It's real bad. Where is it on now? It was like Fox Sports one or something. Or ESPN two. It was definitely like a back burner thing they put on. But it was really bad.

It's like there's really no saving grace. Well, it was broke. That's why he was like going from one team. That's bullshit. I don't know why they always see. He's not broke. He still hasn't gotten like $18 million. Yeah, he's got some cash coming. He's got some cash coming whenever he's like,

I think he's $155. Rebuck did a smart thing. Rebuck was the first company I think started to see that. These guys were going to come out and start like blowing money immediately. I mean, I'll have a reason. Do you remember this? When I ever since lived, there was a hotel called the Adams Mark Hotel

on Cityline Avenue. Yeah, I'm I'm in the middle of, uh, in the middle of no, like, like not in the middle though, it was like Cityline Avenue in just a shopping and restaurant area. And he for his first several years just

rented out the top floor of it and had all his boys in room. And he just, so he, so he paid for a hotel floor for his first like, you know, to imagine and then got like a nice place in Jersey and stuff like that he paid for a hotel floor for his first like to get the mansion and then got like a nice place in Jersey and stuff like that afterwards, but I mean like it was so he's got money. So the re-bock when re-bock game is deal they put a the deal was like a half now and half I think like

55 or something. Yeah, one of the coaches did that for them. Didn't was it maybe maybe somebody saw his heart. They're, this guy's gonna get gold fucking breeds if you don't know. It was either his high school coach or his high school coach. Yeah, it was somebody to have to mount it. So I said he bought his mama fur house. Yeah.

I think he's like, I think he's like, all right, I mean, it's hard to go from being that broke and having that much money and you don't understand what the balances. I mean, was it Antoine Walker that? I'll take the challenge.

Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna take the challenge. I'm saying that's where it comes from. I'm not excusing it. I'm just saying it makes sense to me when somebody literally came from shit, you know? But that's a lot more. That's what you want to do. All you want to do is take care of people.

Yeah, you see what around you and they, you know, they don't know how to say no because they feel bad And is he this guy? And it's blue chips number blue chip. Yeah, that was the funniest thing is those am for me Harder. We went to bag full of cash and a house for his mom and a job for his mom I checked in one thing but they gave him things like a car and paid off this and put his family up and some kind of thing And it's like where the like I need goes there like a newer tractor family up in some kind of thing. And then it's like, where the like on

he goes, like a newer tractor. Yeah. I got him like a newer tractor for his dad. A newer tractor. Yeah, I guess. He didn't have anything. He was in struggle in that hard. In fact, wasn't the white kid the character.

He played like one game. And he was like, I don't like this. Like I don't like this. We're going to say I don't like this way. We're playing. So I'm done. He just stopped playing. He just left or something.

He has baseball fans. Yeah, it's October. I love it. Do you watch the whole season? No, I used to. I used to burn out like I grew up in San Francisco. So I would just go to games. Yeah, I could walk to a game and you could always get a ticket. Like somebody, I got an extra one here to go all the time. And I loved it, you know, watching like that whole bonds era at the new ballpark And that was like that ground breaking of the new ballpark and stuff, but now I just wait till towards the you know three quarters Yeah, this is it. This is the time right time and I'm from Houston

I'm a big Astros guy I'm coming up with that. I used to skip all the time and I watch the killer bees each shit against the you know Lay a big one against the braves. I mean, I used to live that life just like leave school and just go and just go catch those games. It was nice to see them actually bring a championship back home and I'm that's when I come in in October. I love that shit. And right now it's like that game last night was insane. The Yankees just got fucking hammered. Oh, I missed that hammer. Oh, they're blaming stand to water. Yeah, he left the picture in one.

He left the starting picture and he wasn't doing well and he kept men and they fucking just told him to do it. I'm not a good one. Is it five games in the first round? Yeah. I mean, how do you spend like two 162 games all year? How about the wildcard? One fucking game. I'm fucking insane. You know why that came in was that was back when the Giants won like 113 games and didn't get into the playoffs It was like what the fuck you know

So that's when that came in and I think we you know that game against the A's that was just an incredible Well, that's like a brutal game from Louis tomorrow. You're fucking done Yeah, after that's devastating. That shit is crazy. Not too devastating. I'm surprised. Filly fans stay with the Phillies. I thought everyone my age would have gone the same trajectory. My stepfather got me into it in the early 90s.

I got way into it. It's like I love like looking forward to watching sports. It's too fun. I can't wait till the MBS still. I still watch every six years game. Even if I watch it late at night on repeat or whatever. But I watch them all. I watch every Eagles game. And I would watch every six years game, even if I watch it late at night on repeat or whatever, but I watched them all, I watch every Eagles game, and I would watch every baseball games. The night you come home, do homework, and then watch it was on.

And it was great to root for it and care. And then 93, they went to the World Series. They lost, Joe Carter hit a home run, and then the next, I hung in there maybe two more seasons of them being the worst team in baseball. And then they didn't make the playoffs for 13 straight years afterwards, I think. No playoffs. And then I was just like, you realize by about game six, you're like, this sport is fucking boring as shit to watch.

I like it now though, that I'm older. I love it. I fucking love watching. It's a good burnout. And I pass out every night, every time. I was watching the game. I was watching the game was watching the ass Tross come on buddy. Come on. Come on guys score. I fell asleep. I wake up. They got the lead. I'm like fuck. I missed the best

That's great about it. The whole damn game. It's a hop and come back. Oh, there's still out there I'll be intense to whatever I'm watching as I'm saying it's hard to be it's hard to be intense basketball It's got a little bit of that but it is hard to be intense at game 50 of 160. Yeah, it's relaxing going to a game's nice too. Well, I think afternoon game chilling, you definitely sound like a man. I think I'm going to do my first to another radio. I think I'm going to do I got everybody yesterday. I think I'm going to do my first ever hockey flyers, rainers.

That's the shit. I heard going the hockey live is unbelievable but again, remember I can't watch it's ice soccer it's just like there's nothing after so long like something happened well the weird thing about watching hockey on TV is you can't really see what's going on

but when you're there you're like what what a fuck the thing the pucks flying by and you're one of my favorite video games though still I still have a plane hockey and I don't my favorite video games though still I still have played hockey and I don't know a play I'll just pick I just picked the flyers arbitrarily I don't know and I show them the eight yeah

I get the new I get the new one even though I don't know the things you can still fight against it yeah it's not but they sport like watching it man I just so I know it's fast moving game yeah but it's slow scoring yeah I never liked it until I started watching the 24

Sevens when they do the winter classic. Oh, yeah Was it was the capitals in the penguins it was the two teams they were following and I always thought the same thing with you Like this is fucking dummy shit But then seeing how they are on the ice like cursing at each other and fucking their cursing at the ref and they're fighting It's right dude fucking badass. I got into it from the Olympics back with the dream, the team in the 80s and without 80 team. And after that, I was fucking in. Kurt Russell?

Yeah. Kurt Russell. Yeah. Kurt Russell was the coach that I believe. Exactly. I mean, I'm just, I grew up, I was born and co-weight and we played soccer. I mean, that's what we did.

So I just, you know, I'm not the guy that keeps track of the Euro League And oh my god, what's happening? Man, she's not I can't follow what the fuck I'm a big soccer guy when the world cup comes on. I mean, that's it So were you was it exciting for you? I'm a big celebrity Got caught porno shit. What I think you've shown that Allison somebody some soccer player like two girls doing coke off his dick and then he's fucking them both. It's great. If you know the guy is, I can't feel this kinship of like, oh look at that celebrity fucking these two-hour chicks. I'm like, I guess. I guess.

Allison something. I didn't see that. Where do you want to be? Can you tell me is this all a world star? No, no, I go world star the nip slip com Shushed time one of those oh in humanity and daft porn there are the ones that like the crazy What's the what talking about the nip slip is all the celebrity like fuck up to the day as far as titties popping out or Camel toes bush and the like. Alson Beckett. Alson Beckett. I can't pull it up otherwise we'll get flagged. I got on YouTube, yeah.

All right. But he does, he has a three-some video with these two smoke and hot chicks. Good for him. Soccer, yeah, just never. But it's funny having the perspective of that, too, when I was in South Africa doing shows. I love that place. Cape Town.

I love it. Years ago, this is fucking 14, 15 years ago. Jim Jeffries actually got to a fight with this guy. Not a physical fight, but almost a physical fight with this guy. But when we finished the show, they go, you want to come down and take a picture with Graham Smith. I go, they go, they go, no, it's a real photo op. They go, he's the captain of the national cricket team. I go, I go, right. They go, no, like the internet, like the one that goes to play the other countries, it's not just, you know, like a club team at here. I go.

I still, I don't know. I think, and they go, they go, he goes, it's like, it's like taking a picture with Barry bonds in America. I go, except you know who Barry bonds is. And I know who Barry bonds is. I don't know who Barry Bonds is that's right and I know who Barry Barnes is I don't know who Graham Smith is but we took the pick but it's like when you tell somebody that like we'd be the bar the next night. Oh my god Graham

Smith came to the like you got to me. Graham's me like thought he was kind of a douchebag. What I was only able to take him in as a dude not as a celebrity because there's no perspective on it. That's really weird. I'm not a big fan of cricket.

I mean, that could last days. Really? There's games that last fucking days. Cricket? Yes. Wow. We'll be back tomorrow. I don't know.

I didn't investigate it further because it's fucking cricket. I mean, do they get any? You know, you took their word for it. He goes, last days. I'm out. Yeah, completely. Well, why would it last days? Because who cares?

It might be the fact that it might. It makes baseball look like a fast game. Yeah, absolutely. I would last days because who cares? It might the fact that it might. It makes baseball look like a fast game. Yeah, absolutely. It does. Three hours is the perfect escape time for you. That's basketball is basically three hours. Yeah, football is basically three hours. That's the perfect escape. I think even three hours is pushing it.

You know, like to me, it's three hours is the max for sure. Well, the baseball they try to speed it up, you know, so now they don't have replays. Like you've got the four pitches. You just send the guy now instead of, you know, and all that, which is weird. Wait, what is it? They'll just, yeah, they just say we're going to walk. Yeah, to try to speed up the game.

Yeah, you know, I see you just call out. We're going to walk. Yeah, yeah, which is weird because part of the thing was you ever see where it's intentional wall screw. They're fucking guys throws it over his head. Yeah, because they can't throw shitty. They're trained to throw great. So when they got a throw shitty catch that point, you don't have to play cats.

I've seen so many bad ones and I also have know a lot of people in comedy who have no athletic anything like grace at all. But I wonder if you if I would panic if you ever got the first pitch or the first pitch I mean my mind. I'm like I'm like give me the bulls eye man. I'm But you're just like every time I guess Chris Rock just never grew up throwing a baseball or something 90 feet is what set with that fuck you up because you're like oh 90 feet It's push it up. I'm it. Well, no'm not. It's you won't. It's far. Well, it did they find it. He swept it.

I mean, the internet was swept of this. So the maybe they have in the middle of the game. Flashback years, years, 50 cent is one of the words Gary Baba. He said, is not the worst. The best by far is GW after 9-11 and at Yankee State was it George Bush when he threw that Fuckin' bullet. I mean yeah, he coasted it. Oh look it from the rubber too. Whoa Into the fucking crowd. I got to see that again That's horribly embarrassing then you got to pull up 50 cents Gary from from

horribly embarrassing. Then you got to pull up 50 cents. Gary from from from how is Gary from Howard's dad's baby. Yeah. Baba Booie. That's that's maybe the worst. No, come on. The worst is what's his name, the governor of New Jersey. What the fuck with the Christie? Yeah. The Christy. But I was that's that's I brought a football out to throw around with Louis the other day in front of my house. Louis J in front of my house and it's like, I mean, he started to pick it up,

but it's like, it's a person who just never showed like, now you hold it like this. Yeah. You know, I mean, like, I was like, for whatever, my dad left, when I was pretty young too, my grandfather, even some dude jumped in and was like, here's a throw a bit like some people don't know the motion of just like throwing. Throw it. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't try to explain to somebody. It's very weird as an adult too. You're like, you know, man, just like and try to explain to somebody it's very weird as an adult too. You're like you know, man Just like can't throw a Showed we had a throw a fucking ball, but even if some people have throw a baseball. Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, like the Sandlock Nate Bargatsy did the meanest thing ever What do you do Lewis was He was a Rest up a neat bargatsy just had in his back and his trunk Baseball gloves and a baseball. I mean, they were having to catch, but he goes, one of these gloves, like that has no padding in that hand. So I'm going to give it to Lewis. And I'm just going to mad him. And I'm catching him. He started doing it. But then Lewis started to catch a rhythm of like catching

it and like throwing it. And it was going, you're like, oh, look at Lewis. Like, you know, he's catching the ball throwing it back with some degree of like aim and, and then I remember Nate just threw one like on a rope. Just said, and it's one of those want, it's the height. And we've all experienced, you played baseball growing up with some of everyone's experience this thing. It's coming at you and you're like, do I go overhand? It's just coming in where

I could take it in like that. You know, I mean like my getting under it a little bit. And it was just a what do I do with the glove? And his choice was this. Oh, that's that ball. That ball traced his inside and just that meat sound like. I'm just going, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, man. I was just years before Doggie. What is this? I don't know. I was just a weird pose. I was like, I don't know what he was waiting for, but just the ball just like, it came

in on such a robot. And he just heard that like where was like, cutting the air and went, oh my. It's right in his thing. And just dead it and falls down the ground. And it was like, every moment, moment like don't even laugh I was like We're like half at a breath Guys go I guess they don't know what they're doing and it just goes out of the mid into the face like I got that Where my great my greatest little league my greatest little league because baseball wasn't my supposed good

Hitter but not a very good field at all. They right field me and my greatest thing was just a line drive coming at me and the fear like this. Yeah. And it just hit the glove thing and everyone's like, yeah, you're like, right? Yeah. I couldn't have given a shit about the game. But that when I was I'm saving my face.

It's what I was one of the pitch pitchers. You can see like the most fun job. But I'm like, no, that ball coming. It's what I was wearing the pitch. Pitchering seemed like the most fun job, but I'm like, that ball coming back at me with twice to three times the speed that I throw it. That I have reflexes in. I go, now I'm afraid I go, that hits me and I'm like, there's no way.

I'll terrify. I'll run from it. I'll, I'll hit the deck. I'll be the first pitcher every pitch. I just hit the deck. We still ground it. That happened three weeks ago with the double-raves or playing the Yankees.

Judge was hitting, dude, threw it, threw a thing. Judge hit it back at the guy. He mortified. And just as he finished his, you know, his throw, it was coming right at his face. Dude, just fucking went like that. If it would've hit him, it would've killed him. 118 miles an hour was coming out.

Wow. Fucking good night. Wow. I'm sorry, but I have to split, guys. I have to go. Yeah, I think we had a wrap up. Yeah, I think it was fun times. Thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you. That's a lot of fun to be here. Thank you, man. How do you do dates real quick? Yeah, Edmonton, Canada. Come up to Comic Strip. That is the 18th, 19th and 20th. If you're in Canada, Edmonton's great club.

Please come check it out. All things comedy fast. I'm doing what you're fucking deal. Yeah, I'm there. I'm not the M comedy jam. Yeah, Dean's there. It's a bear. I'm doing the goddamn comedy jam. You had Dean's there at Burr. It's, I'm doing a theater show with Brendan Shaw, Theo Vaughn, Ari Shafir, me, Brian Callan.

It's gonna be a lot of fun. And then just yeah, all my dates just go to bigjcommy.com. And October 30th, I don't know if I'll be on again before. The end of this month, October 30th, my half hour special is part of the degenerates is gonna be on Netflix. So please check that out so please check that out. And my albums and all the crowd work albums and stuff check it all out. And congratulations to you mothbuck and that's fucking I'm excited. Although it is funny that 75 people have

sent me the same flyer for your party. I'm like to have do anything. Just show it up. It was meant to be a few years. Jeff Singer. Jeff Singer. I just told you he said it out to you. Are you serious? That's hilarious. No, I just told Liz just to spread the word. Yeah, I'm just wanting to have something where we get together and hang out.

That's what I do. That's my favorite shit. Check out the vagabond, man. My special is out on Netflix now, man. It's streaming. Very excited about it. And let me know how you feel about it and thank you so much for having me Robert Kelly Bobbo thank you for having me host man thank you Dean thank you for

thank you thank you guys so much thank you Thank you guys so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Neat. Yeah, let's see. What I got, I got all things comedy festival. Also, me, Paul Versey and Joe Bartonick doing a headliner there. Three of us are kicking off the all things comedy tour

at that place. And then comedy seller in December in Vegas. And yeah, yeah, I love that club. And then here in New York, nonstop at the seller. Beautiful. I'll be at New York comedy club all weekend. I don't know if that counts. Of course it counts.

I got to, you can watch, set it up on Netflix. It's running right now that I'm in. I got a movie coming out the first of the year called Dish. Awesome. Beautiful, man. Congratulations. New York comedy club is great these the year called Dish. Awesome. Beautiful man. Congratulations. New York comedy comes great these days.

It's fantastic. Awesome. And now you can see Bobby this weekend at Side Splitters, here in Tampa. Next week, it'll be at West Palm Beach at the Improv there. It'll be at Governor's Des Brokerage, McGuire's coming in November. Go to Robert Kelly Live.com for his tour dates. And sign up for his Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. Live com for his tour dates and and a side first patreon

uh... rubber patreon dot com slash rubber Kelly uh... life from the shed there's some new ones coming up with uh... gabby's dad david brine uh... rich voss lot of good ones there and then you're almost towards that gangbang bang bang that can't be thank you oh

oh hey that requires 1,400 750 people were 300 guys. So, and again, thank you, Mohamed. Make sure you check out a special on Netflix. How did he get rid of that? How much money he's got coming in right there? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, mystery. They have here. Yeah, you're like, I'm just asking because you got a Patreon page. There'll be a video game kid.

It'd be making like 80 grand a month. You're like, what the fuck? What the fuck? 80 grand a month. The governor is just looking at that. Like, all right. That's crazy. Yeah.

Oh, man, this is fun. Thank you, Robert. I appreciate it, man, for letting me come in and guest house my first time ever guest house to podcasts There's a lot of fun. Hopefully I didn't fuck it up too bad. Oh, no it's great. Yeah, check out my special the vagabond I'll be in Europe with the shippell and John Stewart catch me there as well. Much love man peace. Yeah peace You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening.

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