Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - 4 Star Gay General

Episode Date: June 20, 2016

This Week on YKWD: We are joined by 4-Star Gay General, Matteo Lane (pretty much the coolest gay guy ever). The panel clarifies what happened to Mark Normand on a recent episode of O&J, as well as what happened between Michelle Wolf and Stacey Dash on a recent broadcast. Juicy podcast all around. Watch / Listen and Enjoy! RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? You know what, dude? On the RiotCast Network.

RiotCast.com. Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is going to be a costifier. This podcast has no rules. You on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a classify. It's podcast, no rules. I'm gonna go to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic? No!

What the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and he happens. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's, it's having no topics, no directions. I love doing it.

Way both sides of the coin. That's how it all directions. I love doing it. Way both sides of the coin. That's how it all starts, you motherfucker. I don't wanna do anything. My podcast is popular enough. I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast? I don't like cast.com. We are back.

Late night fucking show. YKWD ride cast studios above the county seller. We're doing a 9 o'clock live event. We have a fucking holy shit lineup for you tonight on the YKW. Fucking Dows. Of course, we got my producer, Chris Scopo, the kid with the fucking big ass, and the self-esteem of a fucking tick-tack. Very good. Very good. He is the time when that.

He is, nah, come on. So I'm at 9 o'clock. This is when I fucking my witching hour. This is when I'm funny. I'm gonna funny at 3. We got, of course, Lauren, the gal. The dam. God, why would you want that nickname? The damn. The, uh, God. Why would you want that nickname? I don't know.

I know. You know. I bet you have the fucking Titus little rhino. I know. Just a little power. Just a sleeping rhino. I just, hmm. When I come, just go, eh.

Yeah, you have to fucking lick it. Like a one, two, three. It opens up. We got the video fucking madman, D-Poo's to my left. Is there a reason why you put this giant owl in front of me? Is that your camera? Where's your camera?

No, I can't see any of the guests or, you know. I have this owl because I wanted to scare one of our guests. Just in case he gets crazy. We have Don Tane here out. This is my, I heard he's afraid of birds of prey. Everyone? Ah. Oh, thank you.

Thank you so much. What? It was dropping. I know, but I have, he said he had it, so I trust him. That was a trust technique. I learned like a trustful at the same time. Can we both add you at the same time community college It's called drop the owl

All right, we have let's go through the room and now it's everybody all right to my right We have very funny comedian Mateo Lane first time in the show first time on the show Thank you. I've never met never met where the fuck have you been? Just around You know, okay with me. Oh, where's that trying to teach us never Say you can sing you can sing I would like to get into a little that turn I I enjoy singing I remember Kelly for stucco is on the show the one thing she used to I mean a lot of people fucking hey to

I love Kelly. I love it. I like her. She's gonna sing. I love Kelly, but she did sing she sang um like Those old movies like what the fuck was that movie? I Go Mary poppin Mary poppin, but she would sing it fun. She was actually pretty good and What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit.

What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit.

What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit.

What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. What a f***ing shit. Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jerry. I actually really like that song, Jim, Jim, Jim. It makes me fucking happy. Oh, it's step in time. Dic-a-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- What is this one song she oh you know I didn't like the feet of her song I don't know okay give me a little bit of what you can do That's a Mariah Carey no sounds like a rape You're my like one of your opera like what I actually drink. Yes. I want to hear what the fuck you do I haven haven't warmed up so sorry, by the way, I'm gay for anyone listening. You did not need to even do that. And then I can do like Britney Spears impression.

Do it, do it. and do like Britney Spears impression. Do it, do it. Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Um, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I Got a boy like our uncle It was good I used to sing in the I don't know how you show your gang Most of all that's not gay I've been wanting to wear those pants my whole life Can wear these pants yeah, I can because I'm fat when I put those pants on, they become that. I mean, you know. No, you can't wear these pants.

I wasn't actually fucking wearable. All my pants become that. I want to introduce our next guest, Scopo. Dante Nero. He's bad. Who is a regular on the show, on on a lot and one of my friends and Well, I think I have don't don't you fucking I have not gonna fight that I mean I don't want to get fucking punch with an eagle ring

He wasn't at the barbecue Yeah, you were not I'm listed out here at ass asshole Dude, I was on strike for seven weeks I don't give a seven weeks Yeah, we had a great barber We weren't fucking there I missed it You're an asshole Alright, but gone actually, it was like, where's Dante?

I missed it, man I was really upset What'd you miss it for? I was just tired, dude Really? We have a fucking nice chair you could have sat in Like, I just really'm just getting to a point Where I'm back to normal okay well all right so you strike is over yeah

Seven weeks we did is my internet gonna get any fucking better get great So fucking piss it's they I can't have a stream something do they would they were They the company is a regular bedroom ranch, and it's in the Where's the router sir right there? I'm so I can touch it and I can't stream fucking movies You're computer on it. I can't watch 13 hours. So bad do they wanted they said the Verizon said that they wanted to cover They were they said with the with the managers that they were gonna cover 90% of the work, right? They only covered 30% of the work, right? And then 30% of the work that they covered was 75% was repeaters

Can you sing again? Yeah Good heavens Why are we talking about Verizon Wireless? Because I'm happy to be back to work, dude Are you working at Verizon? I have 22 years with Verizon He does, he's a fucking rep.

I'm not even around. He hasn't been around that long. Now he doesn't do anything. He drives around his truck and he puts a V on it. That's the fucking, says hi to a couple of people. He hasn't fucking climbed the tight. He can't fit in a fucking hole. Cucks like I can't get, dude, nothing.

What's he gonna do? I can do all those things. You can't fit in a fucking I even know how big the hole is the hole is not as big as I show this for foot hole It's a four-foot hole. It's about the size of your desk two of those so I could fit. Yes. I don't all right Well, then I'm joining Verizon. That dude seven foot two Why you started you having a stroke? What the fuck? I know how hard was this fucking strike? It was really good. Oh, okay

Hang on one second. All right Jim sorbacle you live on the YKWD Just I know you can't say anything any but you just say hi to the fans What's happening we're doing a live show right now We just I just met this what you name again? Mattel Lane. Mattel Lane? Mattel Lane, listen to this shit. He's a comic. He's gay. He's the one who announced that. I mean no question. I gave voice. Listen to this Jim. Ready? One, two, that's a dorma uh... mess a dorma listen and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and I love it. Give me a call later. I'll call you later, buddy. Take care. The great Jim Serbacom, director, EP, fucking writer.

Very good of Frisbee. Huh? Very good of Frisbee. Very good of Frisbee. I'm horrible at Frisbee. They did. Let's announce these that we have guests in here. What is your name, sir? Chris. Hi, Chris. How are you?

I'm good. How are you? And who is this beautiful lady next to you? This is my name, sir? Chris. Hi, Chris. How are you? I'm good. And who is this beautiful lady next to you? This is my girlfriend, Kate. Fuck! Goddamn it! Could I have one? No, I'm kidding.

That's great. We love you, so maybe you know. I love you, too. Wow. She's fucking smoking hot, too. And her three-some. What's your name? Hey, hey, hey.

Good looking. Want to settle down, sir? All right? I can't have you kick any to do. and then fuck it and lick it and suck it devil I'm looking up with a hot Dominican Really yeah, what does he give back reps? He does I have a knot you want to come with Liz, what's your name sweetie Kate Kate hi Kate how are you oh my god? She's beautiful, dude. Thank you. Yeah. how long have you been dating? Over a year.

Over a year, so it's no. Yeah. All right, so my, you know, how's it going? How's it going? How's it going? Man, man, okay, cupid. How it works? Are you mad on okay, cupid?

Yeah. Yeah, so funny. You spent hours going through that damn website answering all those questions. Mostly Tinder, but it's just good. Yeah, Tinder's so much better. Yeah. Could you imagine meeting her on a fucking dating site?

Good for you, kid. Thank dating site good for you kid? Good for you You guys love each other. Yes, you live together. You live together. What do you live? That's how I like yeah, no salon. Yeah, did you hear like a blogger away from Scopo here? Oh jump sorry His parents are where he lives now. No, it's story. Oh, all right. Well, this are you a comedian? No, no good Okay, now here's a deal. You said, I said that you love her. You went, yes. And she went, well, yeah. Yeah. Let put the, can you let her? I heard that. It was a well, yeah. Yeah. You've never done a talk show. You love them. Say it to them. I tell them all the time. Oh, she did. I'm gonna hang on with them.

You're paying for it. We got beige fill up here to fucking win it. I'm gonna help you out. What's your name again? Chris? You gonna get your bitch back I'm gonna get your bitch back right now beige Philip did you hear that? That was that was a little awkward Uncomfortable for me. I'm just shot a year to me is so long It's why cuz that's like ten years ago. The longest really Why? Because that's like 10 years ago. I know. The longest relationship I've had in New York

is making eye contact with a guy from Grand Central to Union Square. Could I just say it? You've just been through the con? Oh, you're out of your mind. I don't want to get hiv now. What is it? Give me 10 years.

I love that age is now just so narrative. It's like just joking. It's like a joke. It's like a joke. It's like a joke. It's like a joke. It's like a joke. It's it's him. It's like just joking. It's like a Joe is he would get the hip. Let's get the hip. Are you pod all the lingo on grinder and stuff?

I mean, you have to, you know, you got to know what you're doing. That's a question. Yes. Now, you say that. You say, now you're a good looking man. You got your shit together. You can sing. You seem talented.

You seem jovial. You seem very jovial. You're charismatic. Thanks. OK, right? It's gay Yeah, you could do it. He's like yeah, just kiss a gay You jovial all right

No, I'm saying That's not what I'm saying some gay guys and I'm fucking jovial. That's be real. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. There's a lot of scary gay guys too. What do you mean? Oh, go to like a bear gen? Oh, where?

Where is that? A laugh. It would not like you. Like in the eagle or something? What's the ghost like me? What's the gay guy's opinion? What's the ghost like me? What's the ghost like me?

The eagle. It's like a club. First of all, I don't go to gay clubs. I just, I do stand up every night. So I'm like, I've lost touch with the gay world. It sounds, it sounds the outfit. But, you know, so it's like, I don't know, like even I sometimes get shocked.

Like, I'll go into like this place called the Eagle. My friends were in town. They wanted to go to the Eagle. And it's all like older bears, meaning like bigger guys. Like guys, it's a big. Yeah, imagine like guys and like leather. Yeah, guys are big. Can I say something?

Yeah, I know that I'm, I consider myself, and I don't know if this is real, I'm a bear twink. Uh, no. Wait a minute. Now, can we just, can we not, can we have a debate about that? Let's listen to me. You went no real quick. First of all, because I want to know what you think.

Oh my god, Dan Soder, how are you? Now, now, to twink about twinks. I, uh, fuck. I'm not a twink about twinks? Power No, no, no, you're a top your sloppy bottom. I would I have some juice in my headphones. Sorry Love the jeans Just talk about it too much It does look like you just pulled yourself out of a car wreck fine

Or you you would just like a sexy car. I'm roller skating me Are you in an 80's street game? You have to jump over the car at the end Your roller's case I was in an 80's street game. I would look I would look how are those but those are so shredded I know well I look at fish fish. What is that called fish? It's great Fishing line. Yeah, feel it look so you can see it goes like that

Hey, can I ask you no, we're I'm trying to find out what I think I bear hang on now I don't want to I don't think I'm a bear. Well, I think I'm I think I may and help me out here Okay, I think I'm a twink bear. I'd love to know what your definition of a twink is. Okay, we're gonna look at my lips. Let's go to my lips. Okay, a twink is so nice. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me fucking deep-oos it.

Deep-oos it. Is deep-oos it? Yes. No, he's an otter. Yes, he is an otter. It's like a little otter. I like otters like me, like thinners, maybe like a little evolved of a twink,

but has hair on them. Okay, can I recommend something, can I, can I call myself an elk? Sure. Wait a minute, how come you get to be an elk? I'm strong but graceful. I want to be a, I want to be a, you're a classic bear. I want to be a baby moose. Okay.

Yes. But I feel like a, you're a baby moose. Sure, I want to like Your baby moves sure baby. Oh fuck that baby If you're on a bunch of you I mean they have wolf they No, you're like I Yeah, I guess you'd be a you'd be a man. Hey, what is a baby? What's a wolf a wolf is like huge act man Like really jacked but it has a lot of hair. Oh, so he's a wolf on the movies too. Oh, and John's revol what is a baby? What's a wolf a wolf is like huge act man like really jacked but has a lot of hair

Mm-hmm. Oh, so he's a wolf on the movies too. Oh, and John's revolta is a faggot A twink is like Drop the mic a twink is like really really skinny like very young Asian probably has a coke problem. What about Asian?, what is, yeah, it would be like a cub. Yeah. Was that a, I don't, would you have a big ass? It's a big ass.

You don't have a big ass. It's enormous. Turn around. It's a big butt. Yeah, you do a big, I touch your butt. Yes, you do a big butt. Yes, touch it.

It's enormous. Touch it. Touch it. Guys, everybody touch Scopus. I got a big butt. God, you got a big, pickled dumper. Yeah, it's dumpster. Here's the thing about scopo. It looks like it might jiggle But it doesn't move We had a whole thing about the apocalypse. We're keeping scopo for one

He's gonna like gather firewood and we're gonna fuck up. Oh, well Eat it will survive for weeks. I'm not we're not we're fucking that I go down I go down. I'm I'm a fighting hard to go and down. I'm not we're fucking that. I go down I go down I'm I'm a fighting hard to go down. You're not. Yeah. Yeah. Buddy. I'll attack. Buddy and we want that. That's what we want. We're gonna fight it. I'm just it's gonna make you cackle in a very good way. I don't want to eat me. Oh we're not gonna eat me. Oh, you're gonna fuck me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We're gonna bend you over a tree. I know, that's bullshit. We'll talk about the birds and the birds after this. I'll teach you.

So, so, what was it? Just like, you know, how to prep. That was like when they have clicker. We got it. For trained animals. That's actually way. That's it. Every time I get a zinger, I go, that's my thing. Caesar Melanda, that was the dog.

That's your news. They did that in the South Park. I was like, yeah. It's a cheap. Yeah. So, so you go to this club and it's the eagle. And there's a bunch of bears. There's a bunch of Dante's there.

Yes. And then maybe some baby mooses. And it was, yes. And some mobs. What about an elm? There's a baby cub. There's a pailin there. What about a strong one?

They were, it was leather night. Well, when I went to IML in Chicago, which is international male leather, I mean, that, even for me, is difficult to watch because it's like, every weird fucking fetish you could find. I'm sure those men who are like into mother-daughter roleplay. I mean, they're like, wow.

They put those guys who are totally in boxed and leather, they can't move. And then they have to just lay with a guy and his foot on his head. And they can't move until their quote unquote master tells them to move. I know, I know. Listen. I know. I know.

I know. I would be funny to go to one of those and just yell out, murderers? Oh, they love murderers. Leather is murder. You would all do very well with Gabe Men. He thinks oh, oh, I will tell him to start with you But you guys were all good. I will yeah, you know a Christophe right there. Moody Mattel. Yes, I'm fucking you know I'm so you do great hang on He why are you so mad at me cuz I'm sick of you get everything

Everybody loves it and even the game you the chamber boy. They love you the chamber boy the fucking abbe Everybody my fucking mom And now the guy that had the Sunday station at your son's birthday party who didn't like anybody Fucking cock suck a my wife tipped a machine. Oh, yeah, a hundred But he was giving me coffee ice cream until the cows came home out a hundred but he was giving me coffee ice cream until the cows came home and now you would just like oh you forget about it. Oh and I have a long standing relationship. I bet you do you.

You know if I was gay that we would be male. If I bet you'd fucking lie with Mattel on a nice road gig. A nice road gig. Or recutally? Yeah, you go to the room. Oh my god, there's only go to the room. Oh my god There's only one king they fucked up did they Did they universe

Universe I I fulfill my destiny now I suck dick Dan soda no companionship. Yes, yes. Really, you would- A-sex, no. No, I like for Jon and Tumor. Okay, how about you don't have case-ex? You don't have to put it in your butt.

Just kiss. Look at that. I think he'd probably be putting it in my ass. I mean, I would be like the small spoon in this. And I have a very terrible butt. Yeah, okay. I was going to flat. Well, I want to go digging down there.

Yeah, it is rough. If you take anything like a belly button I'd throw up Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Okay, talking to the microphone. No, damn, don't. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny.

That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny.

That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny.

That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. That was so funny. It's gonna be here and Michelle's coming to it. It's gonna be a fucking crazy. I love it. I listen, you go to this club and it's called the ego and you walk in and it's you. What are you? I'm an honor. Otter, you're an otter. You got a wool.

No, I'm not. I'm a little jacked in you. I'm too little. You're a chaper. You're in really good shape. You're very close to a wolf. No, like like, you have to get a little bit.

We'll just like. 180 to 200. I'll cut that. I'm like 155. That's what it is. These are just like boxing weight classes, but for a game. Yeah. I can't fight a bear.

I can't fight a bear. That's just dangerous. So you go to this club at the ego. And you're, you're, you're, what let's just call you. What are you again? I'm not on it. Although I don't. I don't like these.

Yeah, I'm a, I would be honest. So you're an author. Yeah. And you have another author with you no, I'm We have a wold friend John and Jesse and what is he? What are they my friend John's very much a bear and he's like obsessed with the bear world And he'll go and bathrooms and just suck people's dicks and we went to Rome together It was very hard to be with him because we were like you want to get a espresso and he's just like I met this guy on grind Or I got to go fuck him. We're like got it. What do you mean? Oh just like like, I'm at this guy on Grindr, and I gotta go fuck him, we're like, got it. What do you mean? Oh, just like, it sounds like vibe with I'm scared.

It is kind of violent. I mean, like, you know, my friend Jesse's like, misguided, remember her? Yeah. Yeah. No, he's literally, he's totally bald, but like wipe away hair that's not there. He's literally just like, girls, he literally says like,

girls, girls, girls. Like, he's so, three of us together, He literally just like girls. He literally says like girls girls girls Three of us together like it doesn't make any sense and just tonight in those situations like with a bear bar I'm a hidey sleep Nord Because they're not they want like bit like my friends do bears want bears. Yes, and my friend John will look at like a guy Tell you why you are the shit in a One time let settle down John will look at like a guy. Tell you, well, you are the shit in a bit. We should go that. Wait one time. Let's settle down. I'm gonna talk about fulfills destiny.

Yeah. Yeah. First of all, it is going away to the cape. Ooh. Those kissable lips. I'm gonna let that be doing it. Listen to me. First of all, I'm not going there,

because I'm gonna weak point in my life right now, so I'm gonna say bye. Oh, you'd feel great. I don't want it. No, because I might make some engines. I don't want to make. But I'm, I just imagine to love me. The music and then Bobby's shutting his eyes and starting to move his shoulders Me over by the juke

I'm not going because I don't want to be me and Kevin me in the cat skills Fucking raising Me neither So you go into this bar and it's a bunch of bears and they're ignoring the fuck out. Oh, yeah They hate so what do you do? What do you do? I mean I stand and make fun of everyone really? Oh? Nobody walks up to you and goes hey, what are you doing? No know and if you do it's like a man in his early hundreds who can barely get there like he is like I'm nervous with him. I mean it's like there's a lot of old people. Is this in a house or a club a club?

So a club club. I mean it's like you know like it's I mean not a club that you're thinking of it's I don't know how to quite describe it. Well you sure it's yeah, it's dark like at the cock Some invention. Did you mention the cockrode? I did not. Like the bull. They have blowjob parties in the back. What? What?

It's a blowjob party. What it sounds like. What a fun thing to get invited. Other bulls. Is there cake? Is there cake? It's there cake I'm going. It's like a bowling party, but just with a lot more.

That's a match. I just imagine both of us driving at the blowjob party and you know, do you get your turn signal on? You're like, do you think the cake's shaped like a dick? Is it chocolate? Is it chocolate? Yeah. Do we blowjobs?

You're looking for balloons outside. Do we have a draw? We're both showing up with bags of presents. I love it. Is this a blowjob party? Oh my god, you're all sucking each other's dick. Me and Dan put hats on the little dicks. OK, but we got these hats.

It's the elastic and the little floor skin. Not going to suck any dicks, but I am going to help put put hats on the little dicks Okay, but we got these hats to the elastic under the floor's Not gonna suck any dicks, but I am gonna help put the hats on I'm gonna put a derby on your cock Sure, this isn't like totally well, I would like to say it's not normal, but it is But I went in one time and like the back of the cock they first of all the cock it's so disgusting It the back of the cock that no he's talking cocks the room in the room and the room and they're I'm gonna say what's wrong with the most disgusting gay bar bar like gay bar in New York. Okay, is the woman who is the Was like the bouncer is like an old I should look like Susan Boyle Okay, an old Irish woman was like oh to tee to tar where come get have a fun time and then you walk in it

Just like the smell of cum hits you Have a fun time and then you walk in and just like the smell of cum hits you Do you think they have like blade flavor grade-cended cut like Light some cum candles we need to keep the ambiance It's like Norton is walking away when I Like a fire He's been carried like a cartoon with a smell grabs his nose. Oh, oh. So I had to do, I just got booed at an AIDS benefit in Chicago two weeks ago.

Why? Because I made fun of Britney Spears and they turned on me immediately. Really? Yes, I said she looks like we can get Bernie's in Vegas and they didn't like it. Well, first of all, I got out, oh this is my life. They have a sign of the bathroom, it says no crystal math. and they didn't like it. And well, first of all, I got out, oh, this is my life. They have a sign of the bathroom, it says no crystal math.

So like, everyone does that. Good job with me. Yeah. And then it was, they had crochet jock straps and gate porn stars would wear them and then walk around and I guess that's supposed to cure AIDS. So I came. How much is one of those?

How many crochet jock straps? How many jock straps? I don't know how much the auction was because I left after I got boots. It's a nice sack hamper. I wouldn't mind getting one of those for dawn for Christmas just come out if you want one I can get you guys from yeah that's amazing oh they blew me I called Christina you know the first thing you said you said they had crochet they crochet jox draft what was the thing you said before oh and mothers not even affiliated with HIV

worse we're sewing the jox dreams in front Wait, and mothers who aren't gay. It was just mothers like in a quilt circle. Just ladies from the Hampshire. Yes. Not knowing what they're making. Have you sucked off my son's arm? Yeah. Mary, have you seen Jacob? Oh, his piece is so large. I know. He's got a fissure. I told him to get it fixed. I had to use extra Your yeah, he talked about the no meth thing. There was like a series on national geographical drugs ink where they do like each drug and my roommate my older roommate Michael and I were watching the meth He's not a comic we're watching the methvert

Episode and at the end they're like in the homosexual community They spoke a lot of math and fuck each other And he's drinking a beer and I'll never forget he was sitting in his chair. He goes hey, I'm not gay or nothing, but that's that's boss Why is it just smoke a bunch of myth and fuck all the time? What is why is math? Why is that big in the game? You can fucking go for hours death. Why is that big in the game? You can fucking go for hours. I said one positive thing about my community. But I'm Irish and potted. They're all fucking. I want to ask questions. Seriously. Honestly, why what is this man? Is it? It fucking up? You can fuck forever. Is that real? Yes. Oh, yeah. So gay guys use a math to fuck longer. Yes. No shit. is it like running rampant in the gay community?

Is it a problem? Yes. Hence it's in a bathroom. I don't play a sniper from the room. They're putting a sign up. It's like, hey, guys, please. Seriously. The whole room.

The whole room. The whole room. So that was my fault. This was my fault. Yeah. I love having a habit. But how can we don't hear about that? How come it's not, it's, I, I, I don't even know that.

I just think there's so many, so there's so much stuff like in the gay world that just stays with the gay world about that. I't hear about that? How come it's not, I didn't even know that. I just think there's so many, so there's so much stuff like in the gay world that just stays with the gay world about that. I've heard about that. I've never heard about it. Someone else gives a shit about us. I'm a meth and they do like a documentary on this, this guy who was selling his body online

and they talk about how meth was so rampant. Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, they could do like a gay breaking bad. Mm, I'm just picking up. A gay or a breaking bad. Hmm. I'm just a gayer breaking. Gayer. Crocheted thoughts. Not white and tidy white. Is when I was boot off the stage when I went back to, first of all, green room talk. You know normally comics like, what are you doing? What's up?

I'm about this one guy. It would put his like leg up in the air completely naked. He's like first triple penetration of 2016. So there was already off to a bad sign I mean wait a minute. Stop right there. Yes, the guy got fucking three cox in him right there No, no, no, he said he was bragging about his porn like he was the first triple penetration in the porn Okay, so they were fucking each other in the back How do you get you get two in the button one of the mouth? To the pinky one of this thing. I don't know

I asked him how he said one you have to sit on one like so one guy's laying down and then one guy I guess two from behind Three all the butt at the same time wow and then he said he takes back because the the track queen was like I was your asshole. It's like a coin purse Good long drag queen. Those drag queens are great. I mean, they're the kings of the artist. I tell you, the drag queen out front got Patrice one night. He was fighting one verbally just going back and forth.

He kept going, he kept going, listen, fella. That's what you're like. Motherfucker, she goes buddy buddy, calm down. Hey, captain, ace. Ace, ace. She got so mad, she. Because you fat motherfucker. You're teeth are so fucked up. It looks like your tongues and jail, faggot.

I'm talking to 20 comics real front. We all hit the ground. And that was the end. Choose the guy to mouth. He's the guy to mouth. I wish you guys would see, because drag queens, they have like what they call like a read off. Like you read each other.

You know what that means? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like it's like insulting each other. That way it's just like, I love Drift even a 12 years. Yeah. His name was me and Dingo. And I, and the people who used to do our costumes

were all drag queens and stuff. So, so, so you, wait a minute, you stood for 12 years? 12 years, yeah. Do you still have that picture of you and the white? Yeah, I got an idea. I have some of my Instagram. Oh wow. That's hard. Oh, over here, throw the phone at me. Out years Picture of you in the white Over here throw the photo me Not here in the end. She doesn't want that you got her attention. Oh Dante. I always do hang on listen You just said that like she's just fucking literally stopped the show to show the tracks because now he's got to look for a photo

Because you Yeah, cuz he reacted like an Italian dad For a photo. I'm talking to you. He's looking at all this. I keep the stuff is that because you react like a talent Yeah, cuz he reacted like an Italian dad Don't push my daughter like that. Hey, hey black guy. So I love that guy I know my I like over the good looking basketball, but hey, it's fucking killing. I can't hear anybody listen Hey, let me turn it Hey, let me turn you. Hey, let me turn you. It's right here. Hey.

Dan, let's see who can make a boy. Listen, this is all fascinating to me. The fact that there's a club, I know it exists, I've heard about it, but the fact that if there was a club then, what mean you could go right after this? Yeah. And just get our dick sucked. It'd be amazing.

There is. I mean, wait. No, not that club. Someone said to me that like, wow, Gays, Gays guys can fuck whenever they want, when they want. There's no rules. And I was like, yeah, we tried that and we all died. So like, now there's like four rules, like the regulation.

And you know, Can I ask you some lawyers that's like, I'm like, when they had to put rules in the boxing because they were just going to have to put a seven royal in the UFC. The guy punched the guy and then nuts 17 times. Yeah, let's go do that. Turns out nut shots and iris, don't really worry.

Yeah, big huge cocks and little tiny assholes with no rubber. Let's stop that. Yeah, well, if you take it, if you put your digging in an asshole and it comes up red, three and one. Hey, I want to ask you a question. Here's the deal. So because you said you're lonely as fuck. You said your lonely. Yeah, is that not sad? Okay, I'm just is that because if I could get ahead every fucking night, if I get my dick sucked on, then you wouldn't want to get hit every night. But here's the thing. I would get pretty, is there something

to not being able to? I don't know. Is there something I'd like to meet like is it harder to meet a guy in the gay community because you can meet so many people yes and it's like almost impossible okay so it is hang on what's what the fuck is on the left who are you like you're in Morse day in the time why are you wearing a chinchilla hoodie? Because he's boss. You have it in the body. She's a settle down, Lauren. Settle down, slap back.

Dude, who's the guy in the right? That was Messi Marvin. Why was he Messi? By the way, also. Why was he Messi? Why was he Messi? It just was his name. But there's got to be a name.

He took it from the cartoon remember the cartoon messy marvin hope marvin marvin no mess marvin the marvin was in in the daily news it was a cartoon in the daily news and he took it as his name his real name was Marvin and can I ask you a question and I don't I'm not trying to offend you yeah do you have a big pack a nice package yeah I love you guys. He's huge. You just said it like a local. Look at it. Look at all you guys. You got a big pecka. I feel like you look a local sheriff. But it's like a Anna-Win tour fir. I used to do this. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I used to wear like all kinds of like animal skins. Yes. Like Game of Thrones.

Animals skinned. Did women like it? They loved it. Do you strip for men? I did a couple of gay shows, but they didn't like me because I didn't let them touch me. Oh yeah. What do they want to do?

You know, they want to touch you. So I just did. You're cock. You can always touch and grab. Well, they were guys who did it. Like women do it? Yeah, all the time. Women grab you deck me and I blow you Really?

Lauren I don't know I'm trying to find this out Are you dating anyone? I know. She just... No. She's going through something. You mean, I don't know who I am! Turned down to just rattled something inside of it. I love it. Oh, you big dick dropped your file. I love black metal chitchoules! I can't have a bit!

Dante, yeah. So you're dancing. Yeah. And these fucking chicks would grab you thick and just start sucking it. Yeah. And what'd you do? You go, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's okay. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, And what'd you do? Go, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Listen, you see the fucking, you see the scarecrow? The market is totally wired. Are you? Yeah. It's useless. Don't suck about fucking.

It's useless. I'm suck about fucking. I've got a half hour to go. Oh, I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come. Puddle ball. Puddle ball. Oh, that's so good. I'm gonna come We used to do the same way you beat

Hey Where you beat you beat like you I call that playing the guitar full of what I do my wife wants to fuck I do I play the guitar I call it the Sarah Connor because remember in termininator 2 where she did the one arms yeah boom I can't do a one arm shock I call it the Sarah Connor I can't do a one arm I have to just I have to play the little fucking fiddle my packer is so fucking small I'm saying sometimes like I'll be walking around naked and like my kid will run in and I'm like oh shit I hope he does you know I was like doesn't gonna do my dad's dick small you know

I don't want to get fluffed up to make it big What what's the size are we talking about you. Excuse me. I would like to know. I know you. My dad is it. My dick is I'll tell you my dick. I don't know the size. I don't want to. I'm okay. I'll tell you my dick. I can do. Okay. Now I can do this and this. Oh you're good. No no no. You're good. Hi Michelle. We're talking about dick. No penis talk. We're a sweet girl. We can get big dicks Michelle Wolf's in the house. What's up Michelle? Hi, how are you? Well, I It's fucking interesting. It's been crazy. First of all, well, you've missed a lot of dick

Again, Bobby was just saying when he's naked around his son Well, he asked me what size my dick is because he said he had a small dick. I have a small dick But like you know because I'm heavy my dick doesn't have any hang anymore. What was the last time you saw your dick? Damn Damn, that's just fucking a comfy, big show. I have one dumpeday too. I can see my dick. For the last time you saw your dick. I see it every time I look in the mirror. Listen, listen, my dick isn't, I don't have a hang anymore. I used to have a nice hang with my dick

and I don't because I'm heavy. I don't have a big hang. It's just there. For me to get my dick going, I gotta to, you know, I got to get it going. And sometimes I want to pop. Plops up like, even my wife comes in and I'm, no. Got a good hang of it. No, if I see her, if I hear her coming, I will fluff up. Like if I'm in the shower and she's, I can hear her walking on the hall. You're like, I'm going to go wife who like, never lets her husband see her without makeup on.

Yeah. I'm like, I'm going lets her husband see her without makeup on yeah There's no way my life there's no way my wife when I'm fucking if she catches me without my dick plumped There's no way she's not going Yeah, I don't think you know, it's a good technique for that what just quick side-side Loosing weight quick side-side movement side-side movement It's just hit's nothing to me. Yeah dude. I have to think of the most fucking create. I don't have a helicopter.

Dude, there's no propeller. Okay. You got a jetpack. It's the nub that the propeller goes on. That's sound swing. Yeah, you have one of those puddle hoppers. Please. I have a pro or not a shower.

Those guys on grind who will send me a picture of the jig, but it completely flaccid it. I'm like, what is this this what are you proud of? And that's it not like totally that's why I can never be a cuz I'm not sending dick picked anybody My dick is just no one wants only I don't know maybe gay man one Yes, but yes, they do Dick picks there's not a time I don't know I love I never saw women you've had one relationship your whole life

I've had zero relationships. You're telling us what women want. No, there's any woman that's like, I love getting a dick. It's always an unpleasant surprise. There's two other women in the world. That's a good poll. I'm gonna ask you right now. I'll ask you right now.

What's your name? I forgot, honey. What was it? Kate. Kate, do you right now. What's your name again? I forgot, honey, sweetie. What is it? Kate. Kate, Kate, do you like a nice dick pick from a guy you're going to fool around with? Not a guy you know, but at the beginning of your relationship, when you send in some photos back and forth,

and then you send you a nice cockpitch? No. No. OK. If I request it, maybe, but unless it's a dick pick. Well, of course, why would you be after requested? Contexts. I don't really yeah, all right, so that's absolutely not no, so that's okay. No wait Are you guys out on that one? We got fucking? Pixie pics because yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't want pussy

The tits gotta be in it needs to be a story. Yeah, I want video. Yeah, I want video I love it good video is a good idea. The next a bad. I don't want I don't want video I want a fucking tit pick a sexy pick where the titties in it maybe half a sheet on her fucking titty with a nip hanging out Art project I'm a very creative person. But women do sex that. But women are always like I would know. But it's always like a little photo shoot for themselves.

It's always like Naker from the neck down and a position they've never been in their entire life with lighting from like the heavens. You know what we're a men? It's just like dick. Yeah. Yeah. Can you say that again? What is that? What is that?

What is that? What is it? Of what? You'll see. You don't like video. Buddy, I love video now. I love video. I like that she has acrylic nails though. Can I say? Can I say? I'll take a share. Can I say? Oh. Oh. Oh. Wait a minute. That was hilarious from all the way back. You just heard Lauren like, yeah. How long did you shoot this to play? Oh, you should look at that. Just sketch back to the reset it. Boo. back to the Verizon conversation. It's not even streaming We can't even thank God. That's not the universe stopping that video. What did did is did you punch her in the asshole?

Why was it? I asked for finger in ass Yeah, pussy and little actually. I don't I don't know I don't know for girls in a shower and she has a you know a phone case. It's waterproof I'm gonna say this is. No. No, I like, you know, for girls in a shower, and she has a, you know, a phone case that's water proof of what this is. I was gonna say, this is a risky move. I don't want to talk this, no, no, God, no, I didn't think about it. I just got all green and weird. Ah, the last thing you see is rice piling up.

Camera. I like this girl sent one, one time was she was in the shower and she was talking to me rubbing her titties from the saw and that was sexy, but to just send me a picture. There was one time all right there's another time where girl had a dildo and she was she was talking to me. I think that's hot. That's hot. I just that used to just no face and an asshole with a finger in it. It'd be funny if you said that. The video's more. It's all right. And then you turn on the volume and you just you're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, this is great. You like this? Oh, it was fabulous, yeah. I'd be like this a bit. God, I forgot it's a clean and urinal. Him, probably he works there.

Oh, don't worry, I clean up my own mess. Yeah. I had Apple Rooka. Yeah, he took it. Watch me come all over this porcelain. I don't know, man. I just, I think there's, I just feel, if I could have had all the time, if I get fucked

all the time, it might, I might not ever meet somebody stable or do you get to the point where you're like, it's enough. And I'm just, I just don't want to fuck anymore. I think guys are looking for, like gay guys are looking for stability, but I mean, it's hard just because gay's in New York seem to have no attention span. And there's just so many. Is it because it's New York City? I think men, in New York seem to have no attention span. And there's just so many. Is it because it's New York City? I think men in New York have no attention span.

And the good point of that is like Gays, how are we stopping you fucking stupid feminist worship? I'm not saying that I'm an old man. We have men have fucking touch spared. I know very, a fucking ton of guys who are very happy and have great relationships. Yeah, and how old are they? So first of all, your voice is way too high to talk about. Like, we're gonna ruin my microphones.

So bring it down, chopper. Yeah, this is a no. Oh, you guys, you guys just, you guys just, you guys just look over. The doors are coming. This is blood running out of my head. I remember that's my carry was here. It sounds like him singing. I can only do that for you. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. Mary was here. Sounds like him singing.

I know what you're saying. I don't know what you're saying. I don't know what you're saying. And you guys even have helium balloons here. Hey. And we were all sucking the helium out of it. And my voice wouldn't change. Oh, I'm always talking smoking.

Will you stop smoking, please? Hello, bro. Stop being here. I'm just talking to you. It would just be like this. Fuck it. Fuck it. I'm just talking to you.

Fuck it. Fuck it. I'm just talking to you. It would just be like this. Fucking Elmo from right now. Yeah, she's always, she's talking like she's always getting her finger twisted. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Look, look, look, look, look. You mean, oh man, I got that. Bye. I don't know. But all of them, all of them in your talking about. They're older, right? That's true. Well, I mean, two-shay.

I think you need two-shay! Oh, it's fucking, do we need it if those evils of that block? She's like a verbal flashbang. Oh, fuck, it waits for the light to clear up. I don't know, it's in the room. I actually saw the video of you today, Michelle. First one, Michelle Wolfe is in the house. Very funny and... In case you couldn't tell. Yeah, it was your dog barking at the screen right now. Someone was commented, they were like, I really liked you after everything in my house,

it was glass stop shatter. You can. You uh you uh I saw you a little fight with this girl the video you had today you were there. Stacy Dash. Stacy Dash. Okay first of all. He was a fight.

I was there yesterday. I was in a fight. I was in a fight. I was in a fight. It was show. She actually and I left hating you for some. Yes. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised.

I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised.

I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was very surprised.

I was very surprised. I was very surprised. I was fear us. The world should fear us that Obama has apologized. Before if she took her face off and it was Trump. Just kidding everybody. She does all the Fox talking point. Yeah. She was saying like Obama has apologized for everything and now people think we're weak and I was like, well what has he specifically apologized for that we have. You just asked the question and I just asked the question.

You didn't have an answer. Because he recently went to Hiroshima and specifically did not apologize. That was like the big thing. But why the fuck are we up? Hang on a second. Why would we apologize? I mean, we shouldn't. And we shouldn't.

And that's correct. But like. Of course not. They fucking were using our heads as games and killing us and attacking us. So then I said that. And I was like, so he specifically didn't apologize. And she was like, well, I can't think of anything, but if I had it, I could and like she kind of got like,

no, she said, she said if this is what she said, which fucking infuriated me, she pointed to a computer and said, if I could pull stuff up on this thingy thing here, actually, honey, you can. It's called the fucking, this isn't, this isn't war games. What about honey, you can. It's called the fuck it. This is a night. This is a war games. What about it? Also, everything she like pulled up later for evidence was all like conservative conspiracy. Yeah, bullet points. Yeah. I mean, I was fucking, I was actually mad at her. I mean, I was mad at you because your hair was in a ponytail. No, you look ridiculous.

It was that much red on top of your head. I actually had my morning hair. I left when she was walking in. And I was shocked by how small she was. Yes, very tiny. And I didn't think she looked good in person. She had oily skin. And she's when you're, we'll know.

Take that no, baby, dash, your nose. And I know I think she's like when you're like 20 and starving yourself fine apparently This is good. I was doing a show called wake up with Taylor that no one listened to I'm sure the have you back on yeah, I'm positive But yeah, and I also thought that like she's just so skinny now because she's got to be like in her 40s I mean she just like skinny and gone and like oily and just. What did she say when she- What did they-

Apparently after that, because I thought it was very civil. Yeah, very civil. Believe me, if I can be country, if I want to, I can get- No, time out of you. Michelle's one of my closest friends. And what she's, what she's, what she's admitting

that what she's admitting from the story is, when Stacy Dash goes, I'm just sick of a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, apologize and across the country. Michelle just leans in and goes, I'm just sick of Obama apologizing across the country. Michelle just leans in and goes, he literally has never done that. That was what he said.

And he was like, you just saw it. I was like, all right, there we go. I'm up to my chair. Around one, you two can figure this out. And I mean, she had this huge thing that she did with the black community because she was talking about this. It should be no black history month Michelle

She be for everyone She said there should be no no black awards no BET awards and literally all of her Her popularity came through black movies right jet magazine source money these or everything that she's done was based on on black media and black so she leaves the studio and what happened she leaves the studio we thought everything was fine she's't pleasantly said goodbye to everything Yeah, she said goodbye to everyone. Pleasantly and then we left in an e-rock walks in and he's like oh he looks at michelle He goes oh, he she hated you or never was like apparently we thought he was joking

We're like yeah, what she said. He's like she said something to her publicist and she's like says come on These are gonna punch her right in their face. Yeah, really yeah these little punches right in their face. Yeah, really yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you.

I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you.

I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you.

I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I imagine she sleeps upside down like Bruce Wayne. Yeah, she sees one of those chambers that hydrabaric chambers. I really, the other day I sleep and this I think says everything about my personality. I sleep with my arms firmly. Like sleeps always showing up late. Like where have you been? Sleep. Like a like a disappointed mom. Yeah, her sleep like CEO position. I was actually, I mean, that was fucking, I thought it was great, but when you, you put her on tilt with Chi, actually pointed to the computer and was like, if I could pull stuff up, I was like, yeah, I've been in that studio. There's fucking 90 screens.

And when you do OP and Jim, he's constantly looking stuff. Yeah, he's constantly looking stuff up behind you. All the time, we talked about Celine Dionne, he had 70,000 stuff there. And he had beefy pissies up pretty quickly. But I feel bad for Norman, he was on the same radio show. And he told like a story that he's getting shit online for, that people are saying that he rip off from Tucker Maxx,

which he did, and he's told me that story before. Can you explain this story? What was that? He's gonna explain it. So Martin Orman told the story about when he was in college his buddy was taping him hook up with a overweight girl and she went to sit on his face and his buddy. I love how you fucking made it politically correct. This is co-op of damn. And I'm back in my home later. Oh, an overweight woman. Actually, I don't know if she was able to be a glangeler or a big bone woman. Plus size model.

Oh, she wasn't that plus size. I don't have that in confirmation. Thank you, Robert. Marcus Norman, I was telling his story about this girl. This girl sat on his face and his roommate was taping it in the bedroom and thought it was funny and fell out of the closet. The closet had scared her and there was a big thing. Norman's told me this story.

Well apparently years ago on OP and Anthony Tucker Maxx, who's like a bro author who runs like they serve beer and hell. He said like major sellers. Yeah great movie by the way. A boo. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. It went right to the video. Let me tell you something dude. My friend was it Bill Dawes was in it. Yeah, great movie by the way. A boo. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Oh, dude, it went right to the video. We can't say something, dude. My friend was it Bill Dawes was in it.

Yeah. You know, Bill Dawes. Yeah, look, he was in the movie. It's like really, dude. I mean, you're the reason fucking people hate guys. I think he's not allowed in England. Yeah, there's like something like that. I'm curious. I think he's like, you know, no, Tucker Maxx. I think he's not allowed in. Tucker Maxx, he was on OP in Anthony and they called him out for a bullshit story.

That's what it was. So apparently, this is the story that they called him out for being bullshit It was by hitting a car he hit it. He was driving drunk and he hit a car and they were like well didn't anyone report it He said he total the car. He's like didn't anyone report it. They're like he's like no, I don't know what happened Well, you know like that's pretty bullshit I'm gonna show it. Why do you when you tell a story you always look angry? He's for a lot you like for a while I know you're very sweet guy Max I'd like to give you your third birthday

Bobby had a great time. You party good stuff Stay till for great Love Ben and Jerry's I have three ice creams. Wow. I did something out. I did a show. What is that a rainbow? I did a show with, I was on the same show as Tucker Max. Yeah, a couple of years ago. I named something like an 80s, like a shit like 80s. He's kind of like a superstar. He just caught the inner villain. He's just like a bro. A douchebag bro. Hang on, was it, can you look up the guy who wrote Average American Mail? Sure, look that up.

You had me read that, I actually. Am I the Average American Mail? No, you are not. But anyways, so average American Mail is a great book. You have one of my favorite books. I bought it in Reddit because of you. So anyways, Norman told this story, and apparently he's catching shit

and people are like, oh, you stole this from Tucker Max. But he didn't, I know that for a fact. Norman told me this story years ago. And Norman, by the way, he said about the dumbest shit. He never lies about real stuff. Norman's always like, I'm like, do you re-u-up and stand up in New York? He's like, yeah.

And then I was like, hey, were you really at stand up in New York? He's like, no, I was a Caroline. So I'm like, what are you saying? He goes, I don't know. They're always like nonsense. They're always like bullshit lies. But this sex story apparently is catching a lot of shit for it.

And him and I were talking and I was like, yeah, but you told me that story. Did he ever do that as a bit? No, but he was like, can I say, he said this though. He said it's a very Tucker Mac story. Yeah. So he actually said it's a very Tucker Mac story. And then it was happened to be a story that Tucker Mac said told.

Now all these people attack him. Here's what I don't fucking like. Like, because only one person can fucking do that. Oh, one person can have a sex with a big girl and his friend film and a fault. That's it, only one person. And that's it, you believe Tucker Maxx and then you follow him like a fucking cult. It's like, if you're gonna have that type of thinking, like this guy's just a fucking hack piece of shit because you're a fucking idiot.

Wait, so you're saying- You keep more than one person can have that. Exactly, if you can't say that- I've done a play at that. I had a big girl sit on my face. What? I had a big girl sit on my face. She didn't fall off.

But it was a three-side. Oh, the guy fell out of the closet. Yeah, well, it wasn't that, but I mean, that, I didn't know how this happens. Yeah, that, I mean, that, I mean, I mean, I was in a house in him, I had a three-cell with a girl who was, who I wanted to fuck in her roommate was there. Do you need the mic, Michelle?

No. Is that kind of thing? Everyone, I'm disturbing the showdown, Stair. This is some scared, scared, asadian. Yesterday I was at a show and one guy put his hand over his ears. Like when an old Jewish lady hears a signer, you know what? It's also weird because Dan's voice is so low. And then he tells his soul. And then Dante's is right in the middle. It's also because Dan's voice is so low

Is right in the middle Like a writing a writer meetings I really like the idea for act to it The phone like me I'm whenever I might be able to go a little lower kill than Dan Dan how low can you make your voice go? I'm whenever I might be able to go a little lower kill than Dan That's lower I can't go that But you know like you are trained to do yeah, you can you Is this fucking band camp can we move on? My smash how

How low can you make oh That's a fun little sorry listen the mark thing though like you never if you're stealing a story from someone you never say It's like a Tucker Max story That's just like but these fucking morons can't put that together That's what bugs me is these are the fucking people that drink the Kool-Aid, put on the Nike's, and fucking join a cult. It's like you're so in love with this Tucker Max guy that anybody that, it's like, dude, put the fucking pieces, have some common sense. Why would he fucking say, Tucker Max Story, and have the same exact story as Tucker Max?

And then when the guy goes, look, I did the same thing, I didn't steal it. Fuck you, believe him, who gives a fuck. Well, also Norman, it's not like who shot Kennedy, but yeah, and Norman like it matters. Norman's not like coming out like no, it's it's my story like every every guy person that talks shit He's just kind of like yeah, it can happen to more than one person. Yeah, has he responded at all a couple times But him and I were on the phone today and he's just like it's crazy He's like these people are acting like it's fucking I just I feel like that situation You just don't respond and it goes away. Yeah, but it's also anything that happens on the

That's why I didn't engage in any of the stacey dash things yesterday because I was like I don't want this like I mean No, no people were very supportive That way either no, I didn't It's hard not to do that because you're Like to it that way either no I didn't get it's hard not to do that because you're going to be like it was that like you like yeah I said she looked bad I think she looked good I feel bad now now I feel bad for saying it your money she looks like a

who from who though I don't know she looks bad she's got Cindy Lou who knows I'm glad that you didn't want to get involved but not but not but not the Cindy Lou who's spirit yeah no no she got great I thought I'm glad that you didn't want to get involved, but not the Cindy Luhu spirit. Yeah, no, no. I thought it was. I love that you know what her spirit was.

She had a heart. I know, I know. Stacey Dash had a heart that was ten sizes too small. Very if she was very angry. You're a mean. Very angry. What would you be angry too if you were Stacey Dash and everyone would do it too. And all fair, and it's small so she did have a really big ring.

She had a really big ring, so she could have, I mean, if she punched me with that hand, it could hurt. You're a mean one. Stacy, I've been doing that all the time. I know. Stop doing it. Hey, does it wait good? I was gonna stop. I could have you look at me.

Dan's face lit up like magic. Yeah, yeah. He did it. I was like, oh you look at me. Dan's face lit up like magic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did it, I was like, oh. Dan's dream is to do an old time radio show. I would love to. He wants to kill Tom Poppoh of that thing. You want to do an old time radio show? I could sound like Bing Crosby.

You know he used to beat his kids. Oh yeah, beat the hell out of him. I thought he said he used to beat his kids. I used to pop up. Oh, shoot. Are the Crosby's home? and they had a comment triple penitate print You know what I don't like your fucking happiness I'm angry I'm angry

But pink crossbeen even out of Barbara Walters interview. It's okay. I am because I'm like oh Barbara Walters interview is I'll I watch the whole thing The interview is okay. I am because I'm like a barber world interviewers. I'll watch the whole thing Being crossby what you know she was like she's like if your son Who's like dating some girl came home? Seriously, sure I don't know what accent they do have those accent like breakfast at Tiffany's like American women back then had that Talk like this yeah, the trans uh... trans uh... Atlantic accent

yes, what is it? is that what it's called? they talk they i think it was and i'm sure some of these things were like wrong but i think it was like they taught actors that accent

so when you were watching a movie the audience was like now i know this is acting it was like everyone was stupid back then but you know so like people don't like that shank i got get a night, not do it, not do it, not eat it. So, yeah, that's a part of that.

And, anyway, so I don't know, Barbara, I think she just has like a speech impediment. One time, there was this girl in my class, and she told Lines Ace, and I was like, oh, she must be Australian or something. So I kept asking, I'm like, where are you from, and she would like avoid the question of when they was like, where are you from?

And she was like, all right, the spate chain paid him in. I was like, god damn it. But, Bing Crosby said, he was like where are you from and she's like are you spate chain paid him in I'm like damn it but Bing Crosby said he was like I would never if my son brought his wife or his girlfriend and and stayed in the same room I would never ever speak to him again and Barbara was just like never again he was like never I would never speak to them again wow I was an asshole he could hide it for 2020 yeah that was one of my favorite family guy jokes was he's like right Bing Crosby's like, that's right, Peter. And if they talk back, you can beat him with a sweet sack

of a Lensial Orruby. I won't be the bruising showmove balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Brian, and me all. I was talking about you dating you to annoy me. Oh, yeah You're one of those guys who sing walking down the street. Yes, oh, I love shot the fuck I'll be taking it all the time. Do you really sing walking down the street? Yes, so you're walking on street You have a great voice. You got to sing. Yeah, no, I do comedy great. I don't fucking tell jokes

I'm gonna sing. No, I do comedy great. I don't fucking tell jokes. Walking down the street. I'm a different guy. I'm going to swim in this water. I was fucking. Keep it to yourself. If I was dating, we'd get a gig. But if you fun though, if I was dating Mateo and I was fucking. Back to this conversation.

And I was in the bathroom. I was like, hey, can I get some big crossbeam? I do it. While you're taking a dump, I can do a healthy poop. Hey, you'll do it. Be married. I'm raw. As it's from the poop? There you go. You're doing it. Be merry. And rock. Is it from the bathroom?

Here we go. Can you do a melancholy. Kimaka. I don't clicky lockups. Here's the thing. I love it. On the brot. I love it.

Could Bing cross me. You guys should do a show together. We could play brothers. You can. I mean, they're really carefully complete different. show together. We can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You can play brothers. You're always going out to date with like a pat. So. 19 newbies. That's man. Mucho por and that. All right, let's go to the chat room real quick. What do you got in there, Deepo? Anything good?

Yeah, a couple of, first of all, they want, they definitely want to hear about the station dash thing. So we got that out of the way. OK, good. Where are you going? OK, I think you're leaving. I was like, what the fuck? I was like, what the fuck?

The bean craws, everything really set her over. She can't handle it. Your girlfriend is fucking smoking hot. You better fucking get her pregnant. You look like Donald Soroni. Oh, him? Yeah, are you Italian? Oh, you put a regan I've seen Dan like three times Yeah, I'm lying put a weekends of a boat like genetically We did I met him at the same I met you

I've got all hot put her kids are beautiful when Dan doesn't know somebody calls him bud. He called me butter Do it like two years dude dude dude. Yeah, one time of the Creek and cave like I said hello to you turn around said What's up bro when you turn around I just sat there sad I'm sorry. I'm scared that Legionist gang. No, no I'm very scared right now. It was your one hour. Oh shit when I ran the hour Yeah, I was first off I was super embarrassed because like 12 people showed up. So it's like, where it's creaking the game? Yeah, it's like, you set it right in front, stay with me. Yeah, yeah. Well, you did the week that we get the creak?

No, I just did, I ran my hour two nights before I taped. Right, and I was like, oh, please be 20 people. They're like, him and any other people showed up. So they're like, hey, great job. I'm like, I'm sorry. I don't know if I felt like a failed. But thank you, I apologize. Well, now, I know you look like Donald Saroni. So now it's burning in my mind. All right, good. I don't know who that is like I failed, but thank you. I apologize. Well, now I know you look like Donald Saroni.

So now it's burning my mind. All right. Good. I don't know who that is. MMA fighter like the cowboy. I know what you would. I just made the seller. No, I just made it.

Two years ago. Yeah, I know, but I don't remember you. I know. I'm just being on. I'm not going to play the game like him. I'm just going to tell you. But I remember it. Now I know who you are because you're here, but I probably I don't remember. I don't. I'll remember game like him. I'm just gonna tell you. But I remember it's me. Now I know who you are because you're here. But I probably, I don't fuck.

You won't remember me next week. I'll remember you next week. I will. I'll tell you. I will from now. I'm not gonna fucking, you know, hey, win. I'll get in. Hey, what's good to see pizza.

I'm gonna go, what's up, and walk the fuck by you. But listen. No, I'm kidding. No, I remember you now, though. You just said you were gonna do what I did to you. Exactly what I just did. One more weather is finally here and that means it's time for spring cleaning. You could spend time sproosing up the house yard but if you really want to fresh start this is what

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I was gonna put something like that. For free, okay, and I wanna say, I'm surprised to lay it. We have a brand new thing. No, it's just like for what he said, it's actually, right, portion control. Yeah, and you put it in your fridge, you cook it up on a you know you're gonna be home. I'm a single guy, so that shit is like a life saver from

there. It is. So you got you got a salmon in the fridge and it tells you how to cook it. Yeah. You got a girl come over, you know, liza comes over. Get a haggis. Put it on their fucking hand. And then you go out for a hand. So that was under the chiro let's go before I fucking stopped the show with a screeching halt all right Screeching ho I feel like like eyelashes follow There's so many comic with this you've a distinct voice Joe Mackie has a distinct voice Joe Mackie Jesus Christ the best Joe Mackie ever. Oh, I do do a grime here. I'm a Here Sam Marils. You're a real

It's almost a hick-hack. How's it going? I'm Joe Mackie and Sam Sam's an idiot over there. I don't don't go hang out with Sam. Oh, no. He's up. He's not fun By the way, he does the hands perfect to everything. Yeah, he lives I know a couple of us know Evan Williams is which is his roommate. Damn it. That was he does a perfect He does a perfect impression of his roommate. Yeah, my heaven. I think I found it a replacement for Dan soda All right, when you are not in town When you can make it Now you might fucking go to don't kid yourself. What do we got spit it out?

All right Darrell says I don't know if Mark's lying But it's funny to listen to Jim's reaction because it sounded like he was uncomfortable The gym was uncomfortable. Yeah, I hope you and Jim have the same reaction that I can hear it The fucking guys going like this. Don't know of Jim That's my rhythm alright. Yeah, no, Jim. That's my rhythm. All right. Yeah, exactly. Here. Take this. Realists says, I think Mateo might be the coolest game guy on the planet. Oh, thank you. Is that a compliment? Yes, sir. Yeah, I think you are pretty cool. I think you're good. Yeah, you're pretty cool. What else? Trevor Jenkins says, I

remember back in college, these two dudes fucked in the McDonald's bathroom ran out giggling The scent made my eyes tear Listen I Why would it make you be a little sprays Lou, but yeah, I don't have any Lou just pepper spray my butthole got it Me and Norton would come back from a gig once we stopped to take a piss. And he walked into the guy washing his balls in the sink. And he had a penguin to a stall. It took like fucking 20 seconds.

He was just hopping and we were fucking standing there just staring at this fucking guy laughing. I was the greatest thing ever Did you acknowledge your presence? No, you shut the door and just stayed in there and we stayed in there We were just going oh He had his fucking nuts My tippy toes with his pants around his ankles. He doing the splash and he know where we're trying yet like his nuts in his hand Like fruit and he was splashing his and like fruit and it was splashing his nose. It was just doing this. Oh God.

You think he was just in the car for a really long time and he was like, I'm just gonna wash him off. You probably fucked around. You know, you probably banging guys, you know what I mean? I remember when I first, I remember when I first learned about gay culture, I was like, it blew me away, my sister. You went to Michael's Arts and Crafts.

You went to Michael's Arts and Crafts. You went in lonely women. I went to Ricky's and bought a wig. They are always paired together. I, my sister, she's in the hospital right now, so I pray for her. She was a kid, and he was a failing again. It was terrible. Fuck it, terrible.

She got the kid and you transplanted 17 years ago, and they only last for 16, 17 years, that kid. And you have to get another one. But the time you have to get another one, you're 40 something, and you're on the bottom of the list. So now she's fucking ridiculous. Anyways, back when she had good kidneys, I went where a younger, she used to hang out with,

we were both fucked up from my second step dad, you know, the abuse, and she was the worst, because I was a boy and I have my, kind of my mother's fuck you personality, my sister didn't, so she got really a fucking, you know, stupid, fatso, oh, it's terrible. And we separated, we went and survived on our own. And when we finally left and we're living in an apartment

with me and my mom and my sister, she hung out with the gay guys. And, you know, the nerds or the, I don't know, it wasn't goth back then. It was, you know, there's a couple gay guys and some fucking weird chicks and they had a car and they used to party, you know, they were just not accepted by anybody and this guy lived around the corner and I didn't know what fucking gay was. I didn't know gay or anything, but I would go over there with her and I remember one time I time over there and I was just hanging out with my sister and she went to the other room and this guy, Mike

or whatever's name was like this, you know, he, hey, you know, whatever, I didn't even know what that was and he, there's a room full of mattresses because they were having a party that night. Okay. And they just had this one room full of, and his sister was a little younger than me, but my age, so I kind of liked her. Yeah. So we were playing and all that and this guy was a camear and went in the, and his sister was a little younger than me, but my age, so I kind of liked her. So we were playing and all that, and this guy was a camear, and went in the room and there

was all these mattresses, and I was lying down, and he lied down next to me. And it was like, I think how old was I had to be like fucking 11? Wow, maybe 11, 10 or 11? Oh, this story took a turn. And I remember, you thought he was 17 with a shirt off and just went over to it? No, not at all. Well, I remember I was like, this, I didn't feel right. So I was like, who's like, so having a party tonight,

you know, and all that. And I was like, this is a real, real mattresses. Which when I was a kid, I walked in. I was like, this is awesome. This is awful. Mattresses? I mean, where you can make forts? Yeah.

Or immediately, in my mind, I was like, I'd do a front flip. Right? Yeah. No, me and his sister were in my mind, I was like, I'd do a front flip, right? Yeah. No, me and his sister were fucking rolling around, having fun just being kids. This is the best. You didn't realize it was just going to be a fuckter for later. Later I was going to be a gay fuckter for it. And most things, gay men like are what kids like, bright colors, stickers, musicals, and stuff like that.

I just say that all of it. One of my favorite jokes is, don't know right now, Julian McCullough has the greatest joke about little kids sleepovers. He's like, it was easy to make friends with your kid. There was like gay hookups. He's like, nice he-man shirt, wanna sleep over? You know?

Well, I remember I was like, I'm out, I fucking left. And I told my sister that, and it was fucking, you know and she she actually explained to me that he is he likes man and they do that and i guess that this party of fucking just dudes fucking yeah later in life i actually made another friend who was this is fucking weird he

he his family was mob okay nobody knew he was gay okay okay I didn't know he was gay. Yeah He finally came out and said in the comedy community. Hey, I'm gay. Mm-hmm. It was like who gives a fuck Yeah, who cares nobody cares, especially comics. No comic gives a fuck if you're gay or not fine and But he I didn't he did was not gay. He wasn't, he was an Italian guy, blah, blah, blah. Finally comes our gay. I wound up meeting the mom guy, one of these,

I mean, he's a big guy. And you know, he invites me over to his house. I get a phone call. Hey, he just took a liking to me because I worked, come over to the house. So I go over the house. I was nervous, I get there. This gay guy is his nephew. And I know over the house. I was nervous. I get there This gay guy is his nephew and I know he's gay and he's fucking shitting his pants because he knows I know

Yeah, and I'm he's like he's literally looking at me like don't say a fucking word. Yeah, I see he's petrified Wait, you knew these people were mobby ball. Yes, yes And you, and so how did it play out that you just drew the net? I knew nothing. You knew nothing. I knew not to fucking say anything. You know, I was tempted to go, hey. Yeah.

Yeah. You would have. It's so funny. It's like Italians, I actually saw my family's Italian. Right. Like when I go to Italy, they're so fucking gay. I pass was straight. But here's what flipped me out.

With the mob is different. As this guy, we want to leave in that night. and he was like dude, you can't fucking please no I was like dude of course not and he was driving me back to my my house wherever we were driving and he goes He goes Yeah, this strip of beach that I've went to my whole life Mm-hmm. I've been there my whole Revere beach he goes yeah, this is a gay pickup spot. And I was like, what?

And he goes, this is where gay guys come to pick up other gay men. I never noticed it, dude. It was like, it was like that cigar in the brick wall where you can't see it until someone says, that's a cigar and you're like, now you can't unsee it. And all of a sudden I look and there's just these cars that I've driven by.

I just thought it was people at the beach at night. All dudes waiting for other dudes. And every time I drove by it from now on, I was like, I'm like, there's just fucking dudes waiting for some dick. Confusing. Fascinating. What's it called?

Confusing. Okay, cruising, right. I never knew that existed. That spot's like, now. Oh yeah, that's all you, when you knew that existed. Yeah that spot like No, oh you when you that was still I was in my 20s really comedy my first couple years in comedy I never knew that existed. I never mean I used to bring girls and we'd walk the beach and walk by and I never You walk by so many do low jobs. I never ever you walk by so many do low jobs. I never ever ever. So many guys truck stops central park in the 70s was all gay men

fucking no joke. I mean, uh, bathroom stalls. Larry Craig. Um, yeah, like tons of places. Truck stops are huge. When I like I never knew that until I you never, yeah, you never knew that rest stops. Restoffs. I can learn all this seven movies. Yes, something about Mary taught me about restops. Talk me about restops too. But what's funny is there's a park and growing up in Denver called Cheezman Park.

If you had a restop, you just keep going, nah, I'm just taking a nap. Every couple minutes. Nah, dude, I'm just a married, I got a kid. I'm going to get a 20-star dude. All right, fucking just suck it and pass it on. We're going to get some sleep. Will you guys at least notify my cars?

They're a sign you put on it after we do this. Yeah. It's like a flag you tire. So we have our handkerchief. With the whiteboard cheese. The handkerchief, yeah. Let me suck if nobody came. I have my tid out.

What? What? You're just playing, you're just blasting Donna Summer. I mean, I'm lying. I got my seat all the way down. I'm lying on my stomach with my pants pulled down and nobody comes to the car. Yeah, it's weird. I got my seat all the way down. I'm lying on my stomach with my pants pulled down and nobody comes to the car.

Yeah, it's weird. I never He just don't know what hook-up spots are. No! Or that even that exists and then I yeah, because I remember being a kid They're like Cheezman Park and I went and had a soccer game there and I was just like looking around the whole time like I just heard a bunch of Gated's bang here. Can I ask you a question though now with the internet with with what's the app called? Grinder's Scruff, Grawler, Adam for Adam Mannhunt. Adam Pratt. Adam. Oh man, the squirt. There's a bunch. Squirt. Squirt. What happens on squirt? Well, just a

lot of like hey girl, hey are you a mask top? Yeah sure. You know a lot of a mask top. A mask top. Is that Zorro? I know know you think it means masculine and you top and so they ask you Oh, you mask top because they don't want them right? No, fam a lot of gay mask tops printing and mincing and preening all around the city So much shit you have to know You have to have like a fucking gay degree Yeah, you could say Stayed operating procedure,

what are you, a messed-top and your power ball? Are you a four-star gay general? What are you? No, I'm like a one-star lesbian. I'm not even. I'm a one-star lesbian. Yeah, you're not gay. Are you?

No, she's a full-flaw. They have like, I could easily pass for lesbian. Yeah, all right. I really didn't know. You're like, man, right? Change the outfit and then don't talk But my question it's all about the voice my question is this now back in the day You had to go to all these fucking crazy places to meet guys now with all these apps is that eliminated?

You would think so, but there's still gays just running a mock. I mean Is it still places you can go just do you hook up? Yeah, where are you still cruising? I mean, he's right it down for me Where and like what general time what are people wearing? Hypothetically we finished the podcast Well, there's one at Apple Bs. Yeah, it's like, no, I'm kidding. Not a ripples.

Yeah. Yeah, it's the Everest. I didn't remember it. God, I love Ridditch. I can eye-op. Yeah. There's all the terminology like mask top, verse bottom, just verse, otter, PNP, NSA, hosting, looking, all this stuff.

But what is the difference between flame names, fruit flies, and baggags? Those are all terms straight people use for gays. For gays? Yeah, we don't use, you know what I mean? I thought it was like baggags. It exists something that it's like a pool. It's like a woman and a hang, isn't it a woman

that hangs out with like a... That's what Michelle is for Halloween. LAUGHTER Halloween every day. The fucking voice. It's a dick it. It's like spicy food. It's like a really bad fart.

You're going this y'all. A little bit more. Just one more. I'm going to look at the real. Shilly pepper. My fucking lord. That's great. I don't mean to keep capping back on the game.

No, I'm just wondering. No, look, man. It's great. I don't mean to keep caurping back on the game. No, I'm just wondering. No, look, man, it's interesting to me because, you know, it's funny to. No, I wish I was God if I could be a speed. I wish I was too. I would love to be gay. Yeah, I feel like I could find a man much easier. I can find a woman. I could find a woman much easier than I can find a man. I could find a man who easier. I can find a woman. I can find a woman much easier than I can find a man I could find a man who would love me the way I want to be

29 year old in New York. It's fine being gay, but anywhere outside of here. It's not so Dead be fucking I'd be so happy in Westchester as a gay man. Hey come to our antique shop We just got this chochki. We got a mid-century, it's called the two tier end table. We used an en-madman all the time. These young guys just don't understand that what Garland was. All they are to be on say, I'm just gonna understand it. I love to flip my paper and just go Richard.

Are we gonna go shopping tomorrow? God, you're a bitch, so child. When you pick up the dogs. All right, I'll be right there. Are you're a bitch All right, I'll be right there. I'll be a bitch. I mean Not a catty-ness of gays. I love it. That's what people say like I always feel you son. What if your son's gay? All right? Well my older brother's also gay so my dad's real proud But I mean and my cousin's gay. He doesn't give a shit No, I don't think so he wasn't be it now

So I think it like a gay son is like it's nothing. Yeah, of course not Probably yeah, I'm a spoken of my dad if you would have had a half Vietnamese son that would What if Got one. It's just over there What fucking uncle told me a story about that the last last time I saw him, he was like, yeah, you know, he was in the Navy and Vietnam, and he's like, you know, you go to these villages and you'd have like, you know, your horror that you knew. And I was like, okay.

Yeah, my dad's in the gut. He goes one time, I went back and she goes, I'm pregnant, and I think it's yours. Last time I saw her, I was like, I could have a cousin. I'm happy in the means, cousin. Cousin, if you can find me and we can take his money to you like the parent trap with your Vietnamese cousin yeah that be great you just like he calls you on the phone and it's like hey this is your cousin stories and questions I hope you sitting down

you sit it bro come yo Brenner he moved to LA because of more successful comedian than you I could play the whole Filipino I could play the Vietnamese angle oh man no I think it's I think it's fascinating my kid with if my was kid how was he he's three but if my kid was gay who gives a fuck I don't

care who gives a shit what does that mean any guy he was grabbing my tits all like that's cuz I taught him That's hilarious to you have like a poster over like you're teaching your attack Shooting ranges, what's a bad guy? I put a bruise in a sock Go grab her boot Keep throwing an apple on the ground.

Grab this. There is, this is gonna sound very weird, but there is something kind of great when a baby touches your boobs. I know. It like feels like a sexual way and like a maternal way. It like feels like, it's like when you remember like, oh yeah, I'm a woman.

Yeah. Yeah. What? I'm serious. That's how I see a child group. And this is it, you know What? I'm serious. It's like a child group. And this, you know, they don't mean it. Yeah, because it's not a sexual thing. It's just like, it gives you that baby pain.

Yeah, okay. What else gives a baby? Do you want babies or kids? No, no, no. No. I feel like my body's gonna turn on me at some point. Yeah. But mentally, I don't want babies.

I'm out, you know, I worked with mentally retarded people for three years. I lived in a house with them. Yeah. When I went to college. Quite the life. I have to tell you. I, very colorful life. That's why I have a podcast.

I was gonna say. The whole time you knew. I remember I lived with them and the one thing I learned is that sexually they're just like us. They, you know, they don't, but they don't care about sexually, they're just like us. But they don't care about gay, they don't know gay or straight, they just know sex feels good. And you know, fucking who cares.

I know. But they will, they will fuck each other because they don't have women, they don't have females in, like when you have forced to care. It's all females. Did you have in the same house? Not a house I worked, but the other house I worked on weekends, there was girls there, yeah. Do you ever see the other sister?

I was the great movie. About two mentally-reduced. Is it funny? You have to pause because you have to, is that like, is that my grandfather, when they went from African to Blacks to African Americans? You had to go over the two African Americans. Take open Anthony, it's like, open,

jeez, jeez, jeez. Is that what Giovanna Reveese? You gotta just say, excuse me. It's a bless you. I'm sorry, Giovanni Reveese. It's what's her name. Julie Louis, no, Julie.

Julie Louis. Julie Louis. And Feebe's brother from Friends. Yeah, Giovanni, Giovanni Reveese. Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby?

Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby?

Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? Do you have a baby? back to the place, because I lived there. My deal was this. I had to be there five days a week from 11 to 8 in the morning. So it was ideal for me because I could go to college in the morning, go to my classes,

go to a house parent, and then I could go at night and do my comedy, race the fuck home, and just be there. And I would have to wake them up in the morning and make sure that they would get dressed and go to work. They were all high functioning. They would go to work and stuff like that. Make sure they got their breakfast and stuff sure that they would get dressed and go to work. They were all high functioning. They would go to work and stuff like that. Yeah, make sure they got their breakfast and stuff like that. And I would bring girls back and they would come up

and hug them and use their, you know, like they're supposed to be met and they're tired and they're in a sense and they'd grab Titi and shit. And girls, and I'd be like, Barry, stop that and she'd be like, it's okay. And I'm like, he'd be like, hey, literally looking at and she'd be like, let's okay and I'm like he'd be like Looking at me going Smiling like you I get some ditty

Yeah, they would fuck I mean yeah Hey Bobby looks like I'm grabbing this teddy over It's out of like Bob Barbara Walter. It's more face He winks face And gives you like I just got both of them Thumbs yeah, I'm by the way I'm close to finishing And then I'm gonna have 17 devil dogs Yeah, those guys it one night he was jerking off to me

Well the first week because I was hot back then so let's not get carried off here sexy Bobby, but I used to wear G-string not G-string One of the little f**k straps? No, I used to wear Jock straps What a little f**k, and skippy male underwear The little bikinis bikinis, I used to wear a different color bikini like red and yellows and you know, I just was in shape

so I just wore the bikinis, I hated underwear there was most of the time I didn't wear any underwear because it was, I loved when the chick pulled you dick out with no panties. It just flopped out like a porn. So I they all I was pretty so one night I was in my first week I was like watching them in here. And he was calling my name so I panicked I'm like I run and I go what's wrong and he goes get out of here. He was cranking going out to me. Just became the underwear. Well, and I talked to the lady about that, she's like, listen, it's nothing.

They just, you know, he, whatever. He's just masturbating. And they, yeah, my cousins are special ed teachers. And they have kids in the middle of class who just start jacking off. And they have to like, stop it. Yeah. We're learning about the Civil War. I mean, look at it now.

I know. If it wasn't, we didn't have laws in religion. I mean, look at it now. If it wasn't, we didn't have laws in religion. That's what's doing it. If we didn't have laws in religion, I think we'd be just crying. I'm fucking with my dick right now. If it wasn't, it wasn't the law, and I couldn't get arrested, and you guys,

I'm gonna be like, fucking, I don't know, to come and decency. Yeah. I'm just jerk off and throw it up and show it to the chest. Quiet. We, we, we, we, you think you're not gonna get the loudest shriek if that doesn't happen? That's true.

Break your ears. Yeah! Alright, what happened? He left the spot. Oh, he left and did a spot. We should have him record it and then we play it. See how he did? He's actually killing it lately, that cock-sucker.

He's in the... I did a show with him in the Aircomic Club. Is it really well? I took him on the road a couple of weeks ago. I was like, please, too good, please, too good. And he fucks me. I'm gonna go. I how he did. He's actually killing it lately. That cock sucker. He's in the show with him in the air comedy club. He's really well. He's key. I took him on the road a couple of weeks ago. I was like, please, too good. Please, too good. And he fucking annihilated. Not a lie, but he did great. He killed it. What else we got in the chatroom?

Uh, Gigi says, I just figured it all out. Bobby brought Deepu over from Bangladesh to be the kidney transplant for his sister. Perfect. Yeah. What's that? Why you're sitting in a bathtub of ice. I don't know my blood type. Do I my kidneys that we're gonna ask for? I do want to say this. My sister doesn't need a kidney. I don't know how to get the word out there. I don't know how to make this happen. There's nothing you can do. And this is ridiculous. And the odds are fucking astronomical. But if somebody would like to donate a kidney, there is a number and there's a hotline for my sister,

I've given it out on my social media before. I don't, I mean, we have to do anything now because, you know, it's getting to that point. And as her kidneys start to fit, her kidney, the other one's just fucking atrophy. Her kidney from Neal, the next one neighbor, is dying. And as that goes, you know, anything she get a cold and fucking dies. So she's her blood pressure is through the roof. She came and visited us this weekend and then she went home and her blood pressure went to fuck up. And so she definitely needs needs so if there's anybody who wants to fucking I would love blood type of you. I don't know I forget Find out I'm

I'm Did you just say I'm AIDS Little like gay men donate blood Lenny Marcus will know for another Lenny Marcus will know for another show. Lenny Marcus will know. Oh, unless, unless here's what it is, right? What'd you say? Unless a microphone right there.

Grab the mic. Unless a gay man hasn't had sex in over a year. What? Is that true? And they can donate blood. So basically saying, gays can't donate blood. Is that what real? What did you say?

Well, I know that they don't let you unless you've had a tattoo or piercing with any year they don't let you donate blood. Is that what, real? What did you say? Well, I know that they don't let you, unless you've had a tattoo or a piercing within a year, they don't let you donate either. Oh, okay. Oh, no shit. Yeah. You were trying to donate blood, and they wouldn't let you do it because of your tattoos,

and you have a piercing in your tongue. Is that what I hear? No, I'm just doing something weird with my tongue. No, I have a tattoo. I have my nervous pierced, but yeah, no. All right, okay, okay. Lenny Marcus just on the subject of AIDS went He told me he goes I'm going in for a dish and for the face of AIDS

Excuse me. Is that like a new musical? No, it's what face do you have? It's the face of AIDS It was not a dish in eat for to be the face commercial. Yeah, it's an AIDS commercial They wanted the face of AIDS. Do you imagine that honey? I just got a call back. I might be AIDS. No, he's the guy on the fucking box of this is the medication. The box of AIDS? All the prep-truvings. Yeah, whatever pamphlet they give out, many markets the face of AIDS. All those billboards on the subway. Did you imagine if he doesn't book the face of AIDS?

You weren't AIDS-y enough? You weren't in the mix of healthy and look like you could get AIDS. Anyways, all right, so what else you got? A realist says Dante and Bobby would make the perfect gay porn. No, we wouldn't. We could. I don't want nothing to do with you. I call it bulldozers.

I mean, ten minutes of shuffle and that fucking voice clock back. I don't want nothing to do with it. I call it bulldozers. Let me do it. 10 minutes of shuffle on that fucking voice clock back. Maybe like Barclay versus Godzilla. Remember when they did that? We'd be doing a shitty magic trick. I'd just be like this. Way more once hanging out.

Hold on. And then pushing here in a pop. And then hearing out for next fucking five minutes, I'm not, I would never fuck with you. If I was gonna bang anybody in the room it would be Dan. Thank you. Yeah, now Dan gets everything again. Yeah, you can use that.

Fuck you Dan, I'm not giving it to you. I'm gonna give it to, no, you're too eager. You're too eager, plus you almost snapped it there for not knowing you. Never mind banging you and not calling you again, you'd flip out. But maybe that's part of our whole thing. Oh, you're a stranger. I don't know Chris. Oh, it's a hello Chris.

Oh my God. What a fucking show. Listen, this has been fantastic. Wow, fucking amen. I love you. I love you too, man. It's gonna be back. It's good to have you back, dude. You make me laugh more than anybody. Thanks love you. I love you too, man. It's gonna be back. It's good to have you back, dude

You make me laugh more than anybody. Thanks, buddy. Where were you? Right working with you Are you guys working together? Yeah, right in a pilot you should check out another one. No our pilot which one All right, the one that comedy is the fucking the one I was supposed to be in yeah, I'm so fucking man You fucking assholes You couldn't switch it on a fucking We can do it in those little other director our sucka dick fuck. I would have directed it We try to fucking move it around try real hard to move it around what the fuck is me?

Don't what about me? You had to go to Montreal or something like that. Yeah, you're in Canada. I was on a fucking tour. I know Yeah, buddy Montreal or something like that? I was on a fucking tour. I know. Come on buddy. Why couldn't you switch? Buddy, I don't go to Brooklyn, buddy. I tried. I tried to get the fuck, the one I was like, please let me go the fuck home. They were like, if you go, you can't do any of it.

Oh. I mean, you do. Believe me, I tried. I was like, I really, I literally, I said, I want to do this. Well, very bad. We do have a role for you. What? It's just some fucking dumb role that you're doing. I'm doing it. I get killed, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, we like a, like, am I in it? Yeah. I'm a mechanic. Am I, can I be me? Yeah, it's you. Yeah. Do you believe me? Do you mean to me? Oh, I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Very bad man. He's trying to get your approval.

Yeah. Oh, I love it. Which is life. The reason we wrote you in for this, buddy. I want to fucking be in your show. Okay. God damn it. Well, we're writing it.

Let's get on it. All right. Come on, man. We have a call tomorrow. We have a call tomorrow. We have a call tomorrow. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll, and bob the mechanic. What's my name in the fucking show? Dui. Dui.

I know I don't like it, because I am a fucking Dui. I do look like a fucking shubbie-dui. Oh, I forget that name, man. Dui. That would be my gay name, not a bear or a mousse. Thank you. He's a Dui. What are you?

Am I a twink? No, you're a duey. Just a chubby ass. Ask us what our name is on the show. What's your name? Dan and Michelle. What's next name? Lil. Fuck, I would have been Lil.

You're supposed to, it was you and the Apollo. Do you think I'll be able to do that? I think you picked the right guy. The Apollo's the guy. He's great. Yeah, he's great The Apollo's fucking unbelievable. I mean the Apollo's a great actor being on set with him was like the one of the most fun things ever Because he with that we do a bunch of takes and he'd be like he just fucking throw a tag out You know like that's the best tag. Yeah, he's fucking he's really great. I really like the Paul. But now let me ask you about my character. Yeah. Yeah.

And if you, let me tell you something, if I show up in Mike Vecchione has a Dewey shirt on, it's fucking, how fucking murder you. Yeah, listen. I'm gonna write on the show. I don't think he's gonna be on. Listen. Yeah, good truth.

I have seen him act. No, I'm kidding. He actually, listen, Dewey, is he, does he, am I saying one dumb thing every shot? I mean, the episode we have written with you in it is Europe. So it's just one episode. No, because we haven't, we wrote one episode. And then we, I'm really muscling you guys into making me a star. No, we wrote one episode, but then we decided we didn't want that to be the pilot.

So now we're writing a second episode. And that's the one we have a call about tomorrow. But in the first episode we wrote, you have a big role in it. Now, multiple scenes. I would love to be working with you guys. Yeah, be great. We would like to keep working on this. Yes, good.

We would like to. So Comedy Central would like to keep working. Well, they love you guys. Yeah, we'll see. I mean, it's, is it for, you know, you know, I didn't know this is a 30-minute pilot for the network Yeah, whoa, sorry But it was lost his mind You know everyone in this room knows how shit gets killed

Yeah, yeah It really is I hate that we have to do that I know I know but we can't be too close to this because we love working together We love working on this thing. Can I tell you this? You can be too close to it. Yeah, and I'll tell you why you can be too close to it because it this doesn't Define you and it doesn't stop you to from working together and this may be a piece of the puzzle for the next show Well, this might be the show you never fucking know You know like dude, I feel I I'm so sick of even sex drugs. It's like I have, I'm on FX, I'm on this fucking show.

It's a major, I love FX as a company. I love all the people that work there. I've gotten to know them over the last four years with Louis and now the pilot, I shot Bronx warrants and now this, Leary and Sir McC and cervical and all this shit, I love it. And as soon as you're done filming, all you're worried about is, we can, it's like this, it's like this, you film and you're fucking in it and all of a sudden,

as soon as you're done, you're like, is it good enough, is it? And then you have to fucking sit there and down, and fuck yourself. You know what, fuck you. I want it to get picked up. I want it, I think it's good. I think it's gonna get picked up and think good shit have and you guys are young

Good-looking funny come on cut it out Cut it out, but that's also why I like tail. That's also like you could say something nice about me if you want You I don't want I just gave a speech. I owe something for you. I just gave a speech But that's also why I like to be should away to me me what I thought we were trying to make them you know we were I was a little bit I was But that's why I also like stand up because it's like no matter what else you have going on you have control of that I say something about that Michelle it is true and I love stand up But this is you know what we have to do as comics is exactly what you two are doing exactly what leery does and Sandler doesn't certain people do is you have to fucking

Help you have to help as many people as you can It's a Schumer's graded it. It's a war, okay, and when and you have to we have to be collaborative We have to be creative together, you know, whether it be these podcasts or pilots or whatever because that show that you do, and of course I'd love to be in it, but if I'm not whatever, that show what you do could be something major that changes people's lives. And when you change your life and the polos and vequions, that goes down to the people beneath them. You know what I mean?

Like if I can go and do a show and bring him, then then he gets, I take him with me. Yeah, I'm saying. And also I think that's been the fun part, even when we did the web series, was like writing it for people that we knew would do an awesome job, right? Because you're kind of just setting it up, like, oh, he'll do that great, and seeing if they're available. Yeah, because we have the fucking, we have the funniest motherfucking. Right at our fingertips.

Yeah. And I love, that's why I love New York. Joe List always said that when we first started hanging out, he's like, no one gets more work than other comics. Nope. No one gets more work than other comics. Yeah, it's just one guy, every time I go somewhere, you gotta use this guy, you gotta use that guy,

you gotta use that guy. And even this show, that's why I love having, you know, people I don't know on the fucking show, because now everybody from this show will know who you are. I mean, shit, man, I remember because of you. I, like getting Twitter followers, like my first Twitter followers I'm not talking about a fucking show because now everybody from the show will know who you are. I mean, shit man, I remember, because of you, I like getting Twitter followers, like my first Twitter followers was doing the podcast

with you in Deroza. Yeah, but even for the moon. You know, now you owe me, so get me a spot there, that's my point. I got a spot downstairs. You got a spot? All right. Bye Michelle, talk to you next time.

Michelle, what's your Twitter handle? I have Michelle the Wolf. Oh, that voice. I'm part of the Wolf Pack. Oh, oh! Hey, what are your Twitter handle? Michelle the wolf Oh that voice I'm part of the wolf pack. Oh Hey, what are you guys doing? That's how I do it. Hey, hi guys. Welcome to come I like Michelle she's great. She's great good people. She's good people People to put a lot of my focus on that thing on his thing. Pito rass Pito grass, you know, Pito homes on all the Yeah, that's why like like people like how are you doing? I'm like no, I'm not I'm not like I have nothing to do with Pete Jim Gaffkin has never used me, but I don't care and I don't know because I

Don't so what he puts so many people to work he puts so many people happy in a Lana broad city You watch that show it's only comedians yes Yeah, a lot of comedians broad city City, Amy Schumer, Jim Gaffigan, fucking Pete Holmes. It's like, comics getting things is great because other comics are gonna get stuff with other comics. That's why that jealousy thing just doesn't fucking work.

It's like, all right. You can't be jealous. You can't be jealous. Enrious, oh, you can't. Hey, you can't, man. It just, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't. Because the person that works on that show,

if they pop, they may use you, but it is, you know, it's your responsibility to use yeah, yeah, you can't. Because the person that works on that show, if they pop, they may use you, but it is, you know, it's your responsibility to use as many people as you can. I think, you know, so that's good, man. Good for you. Let's wrap this fucker up. You got anything in the chat worth talking about? Big request.

They want to hear Macho Man. They can't stop hearing Macho Man. Yeah, I know. I feel like Macho Man's like good. I feel bad asking. Yeah. Did you get to know him? Did you get to know him? bad asking yeah That you're doing stick it what you know you Yeah, the old box those are old murder charges though from the 80s

Yeah, we can't yeah, I feel like it's like he's up for murder charges now wait a minute snookers up for murder charges Yeah, it's a lady is what oh and a oh and a crack them what he actually he was on on opi's and he actually that's what we started the whole Investigation that's great. Just talk to that show took down somebody else Yeah, but I mean the matchroom and things fun, but I almost feel like it's just I've done it Buzz I don't like it boy. He's fucking dismantled fucking that's a new knife and chic Yeah, I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I used to work downstairs as the bouncer when I first started here was an Egyptian guy Yeah, and these two guys two Egyptian guys that worked that and they you know and every all the bounces were fucking Arab dudes You did not fuck around at this club You get literally how time would just grab you by the neck and take you out. I mean there was and this guy

I'm in one time you came out to the bar with me and, me and DC Benny, and he comes up to me and he goes, you, you faggot? And I went, what? And he goes, you faggot, you suck, you suck, you suck dick? I was like, no, I don't, I'm not. And he goes, you know, on my country, we do the faggot, I go, I do not. And he goes, you know, on my country, we do the faggots. I go, I do not. And he goes, we take them, we throw locks at them. Until they feel better. And then if that don't work, we fuck them in the ass. And I was like, I was like, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I was like, okay. And then I was like, what are you? He's like Persian. I was like, what is it Persian? I was like, what do you mean Persian?

Egyptian I'm Egyptian. I was like, isn't Persia like Iraq? I'm no, I'm Persia's I ran I ran I know it then he kept going back and forth He was really nice about so you were to a fucking a bunch of gays flew a plane into a building Like no, I love girls, I love pussy. I'm just saying, you're not. Nothing gets the shit. Nothing gets me hotter than a big stutter. I love pussy.

I love a wet room. That's my favorite thing. I always do that with my, if I see like, I've done it with like girlfriends and everything. If you see two like, really gay, really two, like really gay guys on the tree, I'm like, look at them talking about pussy. Yeah. If you see two really gay, really gay guys on the trip, I'm like, look at him talking about Pussy.

Yeah. Look at him just thinking about hot, we'll put it. We do that all the time whenever I see him, I go, hey, Motel, how are you doing? I just had some Puss. Yeah, I was like really like, nox and Puss John. It was great.

How's the Pussy game going? I'm doing like my leather impression. Like, how many of my name is Valerie? I do Shweta Raid. Um, I'm not. Tell me about your life and how much pussy you're gonna get. I would say I pussy. No, I've never had it. I never, but I have gone a little affair.

And I enjoy it. And I have 17 cats and I comb them. Um. All right. All right, we're gonna wrap this up. Mateo, what do you got? What do you got going on? What's your Twitter handle?

What's all your social media where you're shows? Mattel and I made TTE OLA and Twitter. I'm doing Bonarude tomorrow. I leave and go. That's great. That's great. Guess who's going to be there with you, hi. Are you going to be there?

Friday. Yeah, we're going to hang out. I'm doing officially Seth Liner. You do a Bonarude again? No, I'm going down there. We can announce it right now. If anyone's watching live, we're going You do a Bonarou again. No, I'm going down there Well, I'm gonna announce it right now. If anyone's watching alive, we're gonna do a secret show

Can I be a part of yeah, we're going already Shafir you fucking set it up. So we're gonna go down there I'm doing Bonarou the right way last time I was down there with a girlfriend that kidnapped my yes My entire weekend was ruined. So I'm going down there by myself. I was there. Yeah, and you saw me getting to a couple arguments because she was But anyways, so I'm going down there just to do a couple of spanish Yeah I guess it was supposed to be next one but now it's an honor. Congratulations man. That's great dude. Yeah, all right Well, thanks to have me on thanks to me on your show Welcome no thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me on your show. Lisa was telling me so much How much you love you? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Dude, everybody's telling me how funny you are and you absolutely fucking right. Oh, thanks. So what do you got baby doll? I'm gonna be in Cleveland

The 15th through the 19th of the Leridys. Yeah, Wednesday through Sunday. I'm doing seven shows. I'm calling it a summer residency You know you're staying at the hotel, right? Yeah, what the Titanic looking one that I don't know That is the first I'll tell you, the first Indomall in America. Oh, fun. Is that hotel. Yeah, so, and if you walk about, if you walk, if you walk, if you walk down the back stairs there,

you'll see that these, the marble stairs actually have imprints, like from a hundred years of people walking down, and then rubbing the stairs into like a little imprint. That's what that is. And it looks like you're inside the Titanic. It's very long. Like you have to be haunted, right? If you, yes it is.

Yeah, if you walk down the stairs. Are you serious? Yes it is. It's fucking through the first mall in America. It's over a hundred years old. It's fucking crazy. There's always shit weddings happening. Yeah, I did hilarious And we just made fun of all these weddings happening and I love hilarious We'll bring my place there so I can go to sleep in it without worried about this fucking 1994

Yeah, you're bringing a PlayStation. Yeah, I bring the 1064 Lisa and I go on the road together. We bring in 64 and it changes everything. It makes the Mario Kart with each other. Done. Right. So, yeah. I have a 3 year old, so I don't have video games. I'm alone every night. But I play station 4. Well, enjoy yourself. What else is buddy? At danceorder.com. At danceorder. And listen to the Bondfire six to 8 p.m. On serious XM 95 Connie such a radio with myself and big J. E. E. and yeah, we're gonna say by my album not special on I2 of course and you special killed it

Thank you very much. I'm fucking believable you the man who has everything. That's what I'll be calling you Okay, not really I don't have a father never did never will I have ten you want one yes I'll take two now they're cracked up to be stop with the whole dad shit Okay, everybody loves you and now you have fucking thanks. Okay cool. I'm done Thank you. Oh keep getting more. I don't have everything every a million in the bag. No, I don't fuck 10 20 million no 70,000

80,000 I fucking take care of my family 30,000 nope low $30,000 $80,000. I fucking take care of my family. $30,000. Nope, no. 10. You hear that lady? Yeah. Takes care of his family. Such a good guy.

Barely that. I'm sorry for promoting him. Me and Chris are going to fuck later. Wow, that out of the bottom. Look at this. Is that an attitude with me? Someone gave this fuck a pep talk, and I don't like it. Nobody did.

Is it my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, I like it. Nobody did. My name is it. My name is it. He was a real ass pep talk. Did you get a pep talk? I will. You got a pep talk. Don't forget. Don't forget. There's a fucking gorgeous girl behind you. OK.

I look at her all the time. Take your fucking job in a second. So funny. I'm so funny. It was so funny because I go, wait, that girl's like to his right. And then I was like, oh, Lord, God. Yeah. Lauren, big fucking gap

You go on your going your real-ass podcast get your fucking pep talks. How's it happy with me? What's wrong with you? Why are you so upset Bobby? Don't fucking mind me? That's not gonna work with me you passive aggressive country. How are you yelling? Shut the fuck off. Oh my god. you know where he learned this from fucking fastuka Yeah, I'm sorry No, sorry on the Bobby. Yeah, let's go Stop stop stop stop Michelle and that's what I can't do My god that fucking hurt my asshole.

What do you got Dante besides a fucking big, big, uncircumcised fucking brick. You know what? The podcast page for the film. Which is fucking. I'm gonna tell you something. Thank you brother. One of our most popular shows. And one of the fastest rising shows.

You are killing it. And we got the app out now. So tell me what the app is out. We give 15 episodes free, anything archived. We have 210 episodes, so anything beyond the 15 is a premium subscription. I'm gonna say this for you a little better. Right cast now is worked with lips and now every show on the network has their own app

iOS or Android and it's free all you have to do is on your phone Go in type the beige Phillips show in the app section of your phone Download the free app which is amazing. The functionality is in packable. It's right there and then you get 15 episodes free all the time. You don't have to pay, you don't have the money fine. But if you do want to support his show, if you want to support my show or any of the shows that have the app, you can go in and become a premium member for how much? $1.99. A $1.99. That's it. Under two bucks, it comes right out of your account on your phone.

You don't even think about it. You have to worry about it. And any back episodes are yours all the time. 250 episodes. And I'm also doing extra content videos. Extra content, right. So you can watch, you'll be able to watch the show on video, on through the app as well.

Right. Exactly what we did with us. We did the podcast episode that Dan was on. We put that behind the paywall that's a premium member with the video. So you can go back and you get all this extra content, all the back episodes, and you pick shows, which shows you want to do this with, and instead of 10 bucks or seven bucks or whatever the fuck you have to pay, it's under, it's under two bucks. Yeah, and you can pick your show.

So go there, download the app, the beige Phillips show. Go to YK2RD. We're both. And I also have the finale episode of Limitless. Yeah. And you're killing it in the fucking act. And I've got a reoccurring on Dustodon. Dustodon.

What about Blacklist? You ever coming back? I don't know. We'll see. I'm still in jail in Blacklist. That fucking show went berserk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it really they pulled it back together. Yeah. So yeah. You're really killing it acting. Why? Yeah. I love seeing you on TV. I like being on TV. Yeah. I love seeing you on TV too. I watch the fight all the time. Yeah. It's as much that last week. Yeah. I was watching this.

Watching it 20 minutes ago. Is that the one where you sit? I was going to do a spot. I was sitting on the steps and choking. I've been actually watching it while the show's been going on. On this computer, I'm watching you sitting on the steps. A choke tanning tanning in that. You do.

Yeah, I am. It's so hot. But then he knocked you the fuck out. Yeah, you know what's funny? He's like a really, really good dude. Yeah, and he was like, look, you got to really choke me. Yeah. Because they need to see a blood in my face.

Yeah. And I was like, I was like, I don't think. You know, that's one of his fetishes, right? Did you hear about that? No, I didn't. He loves big guys choking them. I don't know that. Of course.

But I choked him and so the guy kicks me in the hand and I pushed him down and he was out. You found him. Choked him out? Yeah, what do you say? He was cool. He was like, nah, I told him. He's like, he told me. He told me to do it.

So, that's a good story. Yeah. God, dude, though. Yeah, he seems like a nice guy. I will check out the Bayes Phillips show and check you out on Twitter. Everything at Dante, they were. And then he's back in Verizon. Yeah, fuck that. Trying to get out of this. It's back in Verizon. Yeah, I have fuck that

Trying to get out of this is my last contract. Deepa. What do you got? You can follow me on Twitter and Instagram are too deep. I'm around working on my shit. What do you got besides an attitude? I don't know No, I just get a fucking to I don't know to do you do you have a fucking to me should have seen it when I woke up how nasty He was nasty. No You're nasty, you're nasty You're fucking telling me You're yelling at me Well because you're dumb Okay, sometimes it hurts

Does it really hurt? Yeah Is it, no, I'm asking you Yes Alright, stop Stop when you dumb facial expressions Does it really hurt? Yeah, sometimes it really does

Okay, well stop being stupid Okay And then it won't happen Sometimes that's hard to know Just give me a at-crisco pop You get pep talks from your dad too, rightrisco, but you get pep talks from your dad, too, right? No, somebody said you get pep talks from your dad one person on Twitter probably said it and then you're like, oh, yeah Okay, no your dad says don't you don't let him talk to you like that. I don't even know what the podcast is

That's bullshit. He doesn't know what a podcast is a big fan. I talked to him all the time. You tweets Yeah, no, we talk on the phone really about you. No, what he's about to talk to me yell you? Oh, okay He's trying to get you shit together through me We have a whole plan. What's his name? What's his name? It fucking mr. Scopal? I'm on every spec for your father Ron have Ron close Ralph All right, what else you got that it yeah, all right, what do you got just at Lauren Kubara? Twitter and Facebook and you two sexy couple on the couch. What do you got brother? What's your name? Chris Chris come on dude. I'm listening. I got three. I don't remember my

My brother when I remembered your name when I did that Totally yeah, I'm sorry about forgetting about that's why everybody loves you fucking ask kiss and fucking neutral I felt bad. No, I don't know you you fucking ask kiss and fucking neutral. I know I felt bad You know got a creek. No got hits neutral people According to signs guys so Neutral people and fags you're going straight to hell. Yeah, huh? What does that mean nothing? I'm not neutral. Yeah, you are neutral. No, I'm not motherfucker. Don't get fucking Yeah, you fucking I what so tired why you tired I don't know that's his excuse you all right what do you got Chris I got me tomorrow my shitty job on our

trade back to Queens later what do you do earlier what do you do with Dan what do you do now you fucking now you know his name now you're gonna hang out with this fucking crazy IT you're an IT. Yeah, that's cool. Hey fucking man. It's a fucking job. Yeah, do something for you like what? I don't know you need to get a lot of computer shit here But what could you do it mean just ran you can't you can't you can't get at the world looking at this Just run some stuff what babe You can break it all you get to talk into the microphone We'll keep it just just take some stuff what babe Get into the microphone

Fuck it I could fix a lot of stuff It's like don't let him do it All right guys, listen do you have fun a lot A lot of fun. Good man, thanks for coming in and hanging out. What do I got people? June 18th, they're going to be at the House of Independence and has very park. Can't wait to do that, Jake. I got a big tour coming up that my man's putting together, my agent and Bardot

putting together. I'm very excited about it. A bunch of fucking cool gigs all together. A lot of cool spots. I can't wait to do it. So I'm announcing it hopefully mid-summer. I'll be announcing it and putting out there so people can stop buying tickets. But this gig I'm very excited about in the summer. So what else do I got? 24th, 25th you'll be at McGuire's in Bohemia. No you'll be at 24th you'll be at the brokerage. Well, the brokerage.

The brokerage. I also have a 24 to beat the brokerage. What about the brokerage? The brokerage. Why is that a good time, too? Even though it's way the fuck out there. Why is it a good time? Brokers are one of my favorite clubs in the country. Yeah, it's great. It's unbelievable. And I love James.

I love seeing him. I love it. What else you got? So, I first do the eighth. He'll be at Marriott and Aruba. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And July 21st, it'll be the punchline in Philly.

I'll be the punchline in Philly. Punchline, the new punchline, baby. Fuckin' new club in Philly. So there you go, that's the show. You want to mail something to the show? All the stuff behind us is from you fans. You want to send it to us? What do they do, Scope?

It's a 117 McDougal Street, 1-0012. You got a fucking nice tit pick. You want to send us? Where do you send it? YKWD producer at rightcash.com. No, you do not. You send it to Bob Kelly. You send it to dude at ryecast.com. That's my email.

Dude at ryecast.com. You send all Naked Women Pictures to me. If you have a dick pick, I send it to him. I want all If you have a dick pic, invest them. I invest them. I want all dick pic. I want all dick pics. That's just gonna whip her boobs up for a second. I was like, what's going on here?

I, uh-huh. Dick pics go to Chris Goppo. Tick pic go to me. What else do we got? Anything else? Is that it? Oh, if you want to be a guest on the show. Yes.

You email YKWDproducer at ryecast.com. I'd say this been a great show. You guys have been great. Thanks for coming in. Thanks for having me. God bless you. Dan Soda, Michelle Wolf. You guys, I had a blast.

You guys are the best fans of the world. Thanks for listening. You know what, dude? You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet.

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