Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - A Duuude Without The Dude

Episode Date: August 20, 2012

With Bobby going Hollywood, Dan Soder takes his shot at hosting YKWD with help from Kelly Fastuca, Joe List, Luis J Gomez, Chris Distefano and Rob Sprance. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un duvena que de Maú, a Madrid. You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com

Hey everybody it's Monster Voice from Shut Up Bluest, Lewis shut up Lewis September 6th through the ninth Bobby Kelly is going to be at side splitters Tampa good strip clubs. That's what I've heard. This is what I've heard and then West Nyak at levity live the 13th 14th and 15th I'm going to be there opening for Bobby so you should come get a little double dip Shut up Lewis and then he's going gonna be at the laughout loud comedy club in San Antonio, Texas, starting September 20th through the 23rd. So go see Bobby Kelly Live and listen to the, you know what did podcast on riotcast.com.

Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Liri. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Leroy. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Kreiser. Staying cookin' you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what dude? You know what dude?

I know what dude! But this is Robert Kelly's, you know what dude? You know what dude? I By the way, I already know Mike Kelly is gonna fucking yap a lot on this one cuz Bobby's on here I already know she's in a yapping She's the Bobby's so wait hold on so first of all let's let's go through a couple Dan You are the host Bobby hit no no you are the host of the show the host period I'm the star of the network and I overrule you are the host of the show I'm up to the plate buddy. All right next who's gonna be the one to tell Kelly to shut up

I think Joe list he's clearly got Vennel yeah It'll be a community thing a community shut up Jersey early when he was a lad to tell me on my content. Oh, I said it one time I don't like a Bobby's people are telling me what to do. That's how Hollywood's all he says are representative now Hollywood people Bobby's up Hollywood's all he says are representative now he would people Bobby's gone Hollywood That's why he's gone

Bye and Dan I mean taking away motherfucker. Oh, I thought we already were oh, yes We are okay. Did you just stutter you fucking loser? Oh, I'm sorry I'm getting all these fucking bark dead by sending people so to try to zing Lewis and introduce him at the same time I believe that it's not a single host this episode. It's two hosts Joe list and I About that whatever I credit for this sink Whenever bow you want to put on this steaming polish shit at the end. Yeah, well that bow is on Lewis's microphone. Joe, if you want to co-host with him, you can have it.

You got to tell people who it is. Alright, well let's, let's, let's, let's, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let It's a new episode of you know what Sans Bobby Kelly Bobby Bobby got a pilot any left Where did he fly him to Yeah Yeah No, no, no, give it to him. That was a good fucking job There's a little hackie, but I'm fucking idiot listening. No, what a pilot is I didn't One more tweet about my small mouth. I'm gonna fucking kick some eaters. I'm gonna be pissed

Joe, Joe, this is a dog's asshole size now I love it. I can't be on fire. Joe can be down in one minute. That's, he's starting off on fire. Well, we don't have Bobby, but we do have Lewis Jacob. We got Joe List. Joe don't mention my mouth list. We've become the truth when Bobby's here and I'm whatever.

Well, I think Lewis is paying you in a corner. I like the mouth jokes You can go but I started them. It's when these strangers. I get like nine texts in a row It's like you're like you're gonna small mouth. I know you motherfucker. I saw that on Facebook I'm like, look at that faggy small mouth. Yeah, and then like my aunt is like Joe's cool Because it was your uncle that wrote it Jesus That was cool. That was cool. Because it was your uncle that wrote it. Ha, Jesus. All right, and Rob Sprance, sitting in Bobby's chair. That's right.

You are a stepdad for the one thing. Yes, I know it, but a stephano. I don't know. Christus Stefano. Who? Who doesn't Christus Stefano. Who is that? Who?

Nobody cares. He's the boy band comedian of New York. That's beautiful. He's gorgeous. Goddamn. If you guys go look him up. Do you really think that? You really appreciate that.

That you're beautiful. Yeah. You're a gorgeous man. I feel like people, I feel like maybe for a comedian, but I'm not like not in real life. Is it weird that Louis already is getting a gay vibes towards Chris? This show is the show is the show is

where you take our shirts off and hold. This show is a who's who of why are we listening? Chris head on is beautiful from the side. His forehead is longer than the rest of his face. Right.

But I got hit that's from us. It's injury though. What happened? Chris just admitted he's I got hit in the head with a baseball bat. No you didn't. Did you really swear to God? Did you get more Brooklyn every time I talk? Wait that happened in Staten Island actually.

What's the playing baseball? No I was not playing baseball. All right. Oh was it. Somebody I got a cousin Christina to step for now. He's just having a new kid. This is gonna get ratio. Yeah. No, I was not playing bass. All right, oh, what was it somebody I got a cousin Christina to step for now We just having a new kid Yeah, fucking moly no, I'm joking

That was it I'm totally cool. I do all that black Okay, but that keep on going We're five and a half minutes in and I'd like to thank Dan Soda for the introduction. Thank you so much. Oh, shit, you didn't even introduce yourself. I thought I was fucking. I thought I was fucking. I was running. I was running. I'm not gonna be a shithead and stop everyone and do it. Thank you, Lord.

I was running. I was running. How long ago? You did it on purpose? I said Kelly Wobbly Roo, didn't I? No, you totally forgot. You were waiting, you forgot. I know, there.

We should also pretend, well it's too late after I say this that Bobby is coming And then just see how long now he just told the whole yeah, I know he's he's he's What he loses voice that I don't even know where he is he got I already lost his voice Yeah, yeah, he's not well. He's not well. Hey lost his voice his voice. He needs to save his voice. It's because he was trying to scream over God for you in the reading. Bobby Kelly is loses his voice. That was me, Jellus. I came up with that one. That's pretty good. Kelly, I'm sorry I didn't introduce you. That's all right, Dan. But I feel like I can't even have a decision.

Bobby never lets me host this again. No, you can't do that. You can't do that. that i'm gonna tank so i never have to do it again what i'm not taking a dive what i'm not taking a dive i would rather dan sodas kelly impression kelly actually be here what it has bigger ass i'm just i'm being honest with you right now is this what's gonna happen okay

i'm sorry fucking tired. I can't even fight. Wait, got a compliment, you Kelly? No. Your breasts look tremendous. Are we all on board? Yeah, they are. The coffee in purple.

This is really bananas. This is really like a 50s office. You're looking good today. I know you're sad, but your tits look great. You got a sass, girl. Yeah, thanks for doing all the filing. Well thanks, Jerry. I stopped running and I've put on a little bit of white and it's all gone in my boots. Well, it's healthy weight. Yeah, looks good. It is good for

me. Back to Chris getting smashing the head by a fucking Wollion. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. I didn't mean I didn't mean to drop that. I was just in the somebody said racist and I just became my dad for a second. But how did did you get hit in the head with the back? Uh, because there was like a huge fight at um Tyson park on Highland Boulevard in 10. So it wasn't much of blacks. All right It wasn't and just I don't know somebody was you know talking crap to my cousin I thought I was you know, it was that Christina. Yeah Christina the lovely Christina. She's talking crap. Are we? Yes, I'm now Some moole Christina talking crap. Are we yes, I'm no Some moole was talking crap She just awful racial slur from the 70s

Talking poop you know what I mean? I fucking miss you Joe I know we can't no one can see it but you're gay hand movement talking crap Back to the back You know I just tried to go defender and I got in head with baseball bat. That's all that really I just it was one of those things it's that island you know 1999 It was one of those things. It's that island, you know, was it a aluminum or a 1999 aluminum? It was. I got to do it. I got I got I got fucking balls.

But that's actually better than what? Blood is gushing down my face like it was bad. And then I you know, I ran back to my dad's house and then do you have to take care of it? And your dad would have wanted to take care of it. Well, my dad was he wasn't in name. That's what I actually now that you're actually now that you're free.

You come home leading step it all over everybody. Everybody. No, actually, actually, that's like because I talk a lot about my dad. That's actually the first time that I realized my dad was like clinically insane that he was been, he had, he had come from like a troubled past because I came home, blood all of my face, Christina, hysterical crying. My other cousin's crying. They're having a barbecue.

That's what Italians do in August. Do you have a cousin? Sunday's in August. On Sundays in August. Yeah, I actually do. It got three. And he, and my, everyone's crying, you know, upset. We got to get in the hospital. And my dad just fucking, stomach look is just like,

who did it? Like with blood like on his hands. Like, who did it? Do you know who did it? And I was like, yeah, I think I know the kids name. He's like, what's his name? Whisperer in my ear. And I whispered in his ear.

And I told her. White. And he goes, and I swear to God and he goes, okay, he goes, okay, and he goes upstairs, puts on a, I swear to Christ. No, puts on like this leather jacket and leaves the house and comes back and comes back like five hours later. And that's like, I was the kid ever showed up to school again.

Well, I never, I wasn't from Staten Island. So I don't know what happened. I just knew the kid name because it was me. I think I know what happened. No, no, my dad again. I wasn't from Staten Island. So I don't know what happened I just knew the name because I think I know what happened My dad Great would it be if a cold case got solved He said that got him was wearing a leather jacket. I started giving the fucking man I like that Chris, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that guy, that Italian's having a barbecue and I'll just on a Sunday. I had a more to the joke where I said westside highway It was gonna be like a Puerto Rican. Yeah, okay You are stepping into your jokes. I just I wanted to welcome

Photographer here today. We got Beatrice taking photos today. Beatrice And I wanted to throw a roadblock into the comedy Down the episode when we were getting any momentum I wanted to feel like she wasn't a part of this and say hi to baby James. Oh We got a name. Oh, yeah, we got a name. You know, it's a boy. We know it's a boy. Who is a baby? Oh yeah, we got a name. You know what's a boy? Yeah, we know it's a boy. I knew it was a baby.

Lewis. Yeah, that's Lewis's lady. That's Lewis's lady. Oh, no kidding. He really just did that like an old uncle. Good for you. I know that uncle. Are you mad at me?

Lewis, I, Vic, our mutual friend, Vic told me a story about you. Holding a dick? Oh no, I can't. Trouble. Oh, getting arrested? Yeah, what happened a week ago Again, while I was hosting a comedy show he's gonna come and go Such a piece of shit while my pregnant girlfriend set inside

Yeah, oh that'll happen. What did you know I said this? I said this on three podcasts, but I'll give you a quick version of story. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Dan I said this on three podcasts, but I'll give you a quick version of Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Dan maybe I just heard about it. I we haven't heard about it. And this is one of the flagship shows of the network I was hosting a show at Eastville comedy club 11 o'clock show and I bring up Rachel Feinstein And she was having a hot day that day. She's looking very good. She looked great that day Well Rachel goes from fucking never she Jew woman to really really fucking hot It depends on the day the week you meet Rachel fine sign, all right?

And I bring her up dude and I go out and there's these two kids from the earlier show and they were smoking a joint So I go man, you want a smoke and I was like I'm not really supposed to smoke I promised my girlfriend I wouldn't smoke anymore and then So it's like I finally take a hit so then I take Dude, first I look around because I'm paranoid and there's just one agent dude on his cell phone just in there talking shit on his cell phone. And you did him and you thought Asian people can't be police. No, nobody's afraid of Asians.

You gotta be prison. This isn't rush hour. Exactly. So I take a hit of the joint, I was saying that sarcasm. What time of day was it? Yeah, he's already on time to bend back. Can we just talk about that? Yeah.

So you know the deal with a bandana, Chris? No, if you're on the Jones. So I, okay, so just leave it here. Yeah, tighter rank Chris is big Mischief and forehead Chris has but not since the implication of the So a horrible interrupt. This is your first time just a hair Dude, I fucking get it to my give it back to the kid I start walking away Agent dude pulls out a fucking badge another dude rolls up on me and

Yeah, dude they fucking I didn't actually get arrested. They just handcuffed me and brought me to the station But they give me a ticket once I got to the station But the best part of all who hosted dude I wall Aaron Berg went up and he like introduced the next comic and they're like what the fuck happened And then like they hold it and introduce each other like a late night show with the comic strip Brutal dude in the middle of hosting a show. You couldn't even pop your head back in and go, here's the best part. You're the worst at all.

The cop immediately, I was like, all right, I lied to my girlfriend, I'm not supposed to be smoking pot as it is, she's pregnant, she's gonna probably leave me and abort my baby. So I forget that you went all through the, you went through it. In my head, I don't know. She's gonna let the baby grow up to hate you,

that's what she's gonna do. Well, she's gonna leave first when she gets that board, and she's not gonna get it aborted in the Eastville comedy club. So fucking, I wouldn't be the first time. she's gonna. Well she's gonna leave first when she gets that board. She's not gonna get it boarded into the Eastville comedy club. So fucking, I wouldn't be the first time. I'm sitting in the fridge. So dude, fucking, the couple, I was like,

look dude, my girl's pregnant. I was like, I'm supposed to be hosting the show. Can I just call, can I call at least? So you put the phone on speaker phone. And yeah. So I was like, a tiny, can I talk to Beatrice? Beatrice is on the phone. I'm like, hey, I'm being arrested.

She's like, for what? I was like, smoking weed. She's like, good, rotten prison. Just hangs up the phone. I'm like, hey, I'm being arrested. She's like for what? I was like a smoking weed. She's like, good rotten prison just hangs up the phone. I mean Where did you get a comment? Do you want to get in comment? On the microphone Beatrice. Yeah, I'm not on the microphone Beatrice I didn't say rotten prison. I said, that's what you get. Whatever Whatever did you keep Kelly's mic for the entirety of I'm sorry. Don't give me that look then I feel bad. I had Jesus Look that's the look that she gives Bobby when he tells her to shut up

I can't cover the Kelly for stew cut Game Of course it's hilarious. Sorry guys. I've never expected the general Bobby's identical from my trainer I'm embarrassed. I hope Bobby listens to this and screams at you for yeah That was really rude. Thank you fucking stuff on up there So you went to jail I went I feel like in I one half they fucking took me out for no reason I could have hosted the show still just discipline like every time I see you've been arrested It's happened a lot. I've been arrested every time you was like my roommate

I've been arrested every time he was like my roommate I just left it by the cock radio I got arrested for threatening my roommate with my hunting night, but I didn't I Can make up jokes. You want to start this right now? Bobby's not in. That wasn't bad. I was going to do a J-R-E-S. I'm trying to run.

But no one was going to go. I was trying to take your back when Lewis said you're asked. You're mouth-like like a dog asshole. I loved it. That was two summers ago. My roommate called the cops and said that I threatened to kill him and I pulled the knife on him. And I didn't do either. Well, I said I'll kill you, but I was just talking shit.

And you were holding a knife. No, he suggested it with the knife on him and I didn't do either. Well, I said I'll kill you but I was just talking shit. You were holding a knife He suggested it with a knife. Listen, I put the knife on top of my cable box as to say if you touch my cable box I'm gonna kill you with his knife. Well, I stabbed it Did your dad ever do that? No, I don't think he dealt with knives my daddy wasn't that kind of guy. I love that he just pulled a rig and I get what you're saying Motherfucker. I would have got that hacky. He's right. Yeah, he had other things that we do. He would bats and stuff brass knuckles. That's kind of motherfucker. I would have gone to Hacking. He's right. He had other things that we do.

He would bathe and stuff. Brass knuckles. That's kind of guy. He would oh, cool. What was your drunk drawer like in your kitchen? Just like brass knuckles and black jacks and your darts. Will that go to my dad's house? Yeah, it was like, yeah, brass knuckles.

He had the steel tip. The anal tip. The steel tip. Those wing tips with the steel on the bottom of the heel. Hey, Chrissy, I'm missing a clip Nine millimeter 45 Well, I mean these two are

Just trespassing we got arrested for trespassing and then I got to actually actually I got a good one I got a dress on that pussy I'm Imagine being his roommate? I grow it what You wake up in the morning to cave fear My dad no, no, no, you said getting arrested. Yeah, I think we should paint the bandana on Kelly's microphone Thank you Rob No, no, oh you said get arrested. I think we should paint the bandana on Kelly's microphone A phone call Chris was fucking thinking up his bullshit story By the way, Chris is from fucking the long island. He's not even

Making a joke that he's lying I'll show him I Can I say some that fucking light bulb right there is literally white hot dude. There's a blister on my arm No arm is blistered. They're like four minutes shit. It really is yeah dude from fucking Burning my arm on that it's fucking white hot Don't touch it. He's been like that's definitely gonna soon. He's he spent like four minutes talking about before we're not He's like you got to turn it off Kelly. I'm telling you it's not good I'm my pregnant girl from the fuck is wrong

Why is no one near you bring me By the way, I tied the bandana to Kelly and I's microphone So dramatic so quickly me? Yeah, it hurts. Let's go to kill my own born baby She's no fucking near it I'm trying to hear Chris's story about being arrested because one's crystal into my p hole and I want to know This one has a record multiple times. Oh twice twice. What was you looking for? I've looked at your dick seven times I just I was just checking the urethra. It's got a kid's got a whistle got a kick ass your e-trap. Yeah They call me the urethra kid. I thought it was a good you know

I'm not gonna forget that's all the alcohol coming right now. They're doing the drunk show right now Yeah, well you are well Hey, damn, I mean I saw you at Gotham comedy club, but you drunk that night I Had been having a come you look pretty bomb when I saw you Yeah, he was doing it. He comes up to me and goes, there's Sprangia Cunt. He just says, I'll get in there.

I was pretty close. You'll get in there. I got cornered in the back, and we started doing shots. And then that's always a, that's never a good thing for me. I go from zero to 60 pretty quick. Can you give him another bandana somehow?

No, he was in the dark. He was just, he was just, he was fucking things where you need to be on all the time. He was the one with the puzzle. There was no joke. Tony's second is gonna keep me on. Tony, you're very intimate.

He's so racing as inner programming show. He's telling the bandana around his hand. That is... Two-box style. You've got the bow at the front, so you look more like a lady than you do at gangster. He looks way cooler than you. Okay, Chris, Chris to Stephanie that totally wasn't been down. I'm worried. I whatever. Oh fuck yeah Trist pass and Chris to go well that was I mean you get over I get arrested for the little stuff like trespassons

The feedie all that stuff. Yeah, I was a loser. I'm your win rolls when I was 69 corn rolls you really did Dude, I was a basketball player in Bushwick Brooklyn pre-gentrification I was fuck it did you talk on I fucking of course you like what's up? Yeah, all that shit. No, what's up? God what's up? God? Yeah, what's up? God. I would say that shit on the top Boy did you tell girls like when you were like dude the first five go to the girls? Dude, the first five, six girls I had sex with, all black girls from like project buildings.

Gross. Oh my first girl for Zayn was Latisha. Christmas got a day. Latisha. Christmas got a day. I don't know. I would say this is for sure the most racist episode. I have a nila man's coming over.

I just imagined, I just imagined. Yeah, no, he Got that good credit son With an open shirt Anichi mecha rock Aware all that shit I don't mean to break a mint in what's the corner? I had my hair braided Corn rolls I had my hair braided Yeah, I would run up and like K-Face and call my mom I'm a K-Face, and you say rolls or rows you saying rows you said K-Fedric

You do you not know real fucking references to Like a row yeah, yeah, that's what I thought you said rolls She's almost straight. He just got K-Face I thought I was saying it right I got a new york I said rolls So fuck you Yeah, everybody's talking over

Yeah Bobby's lose I just imagined Bobby listening this episode like So fuck you yeah, everybody's talking over Bobby's lose I just imagined Bobby listening in this episode like no voice You know I got arrested Were you a peeping Tom of course Your exhibition Definitely looks like a peeping Tom Rob's friends is fucking weird face coming to the bushes I'll never forget that face Boyer is a Shit Rob it was a typical white urban way to get arrested there were concert tickets going on sale for some metal band and Penn stations

What band? It's Iron Maiden. Okay, so we go to Metal band, Metal band, Metal band. I mean metal band. This is like a metal crowd to you. I know. I know Iron Maiden. I've never heard of it. You never heard of it. The Colmpathelica. So, so um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You guys are like looking for the Cheap isn't here for the little engines will attack each other When the ball had a chief is right I knew it was coming up. I knew that I was gonna display talent I knew you guys will fucking be having it give me a hard time. All right. You so I got it. All right So so three white kids 16 years old we go around the Penn station area and it was bad news Because I was 16. Yeah, I was just like Iron Maiden's out for like a month

This is like the 60s or something So what are you wearing? Probably an Iron Maiden T-shirt and jeans I just meant dude, do you have a mullet? Hi, hi, I'm still at those No, dude, you know what I had? I had a perm. Yeah, I had my fucking hair. What like like Bon Jovi perm? Like a Bon Jovi. I imagine you have the same face.

But you know how they do in like shitty movies, they're like doing like a flashback scene with the dude. I don't find it. Imagine you have it. Picture coming out. Rob, you just went out a few notches in my belt. So anyway, so we're up there. So while I look at you, I think that's what that means.

You better put your notches in my belt. You want to meet this measure? You should be if you're notches in my panties. So we're doing it. But by the way, Lewis, that's what that means. You might have been notches in my back. You want to meet this measure? You have to live you notches in my panties. By the way, Lewis, you're loved this. I was gonna call you last night. I was playing UFC and I did a random. I picked my creative character, Bruce a random. Guess what I drew? Marker smash machine. Don't fry. There was like two in the morning. It was like a workout. Love it. Love it.

Love it. Love it. It was impossible that you look more like you have AIDS there than you do morning. It's like a workout. Oh, wrong. Oh, Pass it around. That was impossible. Did you look more like you have aides there than you do now? It's impossible. Wow. That looks like Freddie Mercury on the way out. So anyway, I like it. The day before they announced it. Like that one,

so it looks like Tom Cruise in Philadelphia. So anyway, we're so we're so nervous to be upstairs because it was bad And we were scared so we went downstairs in on Penn station of that big staircase So I'm sitting on the steps and there's a black dude shooting heroin like four steps behind Right, this is like it's cleaned up now. It was much worse back then like 50 years ago I don't do drugs anymore Fucking dope Boston if I can tell me black eyes don't do drugs so look so the guy give him the bend

Misplace the accent so the guy goes hey white boy. He white boy swearing out. He actually said he white boy And I look at him immediately talk about it Miles or the guy was just doing his clubber laying in pressure and Rob got scared So he goes I mean not this one on So he goes tell me if any motherfucking cops are coming and I'm like I don't I don't want to do it Tell me if any motherfucking so I'm you know scared shit So my two friends of course both you know as friends would be goes don't you fucking leave you leave I'm gonna fucking come and stab you with this needle those are white

Yeah, so I'm standing there and I'm and stab you with this needle. Those are white threads. Those are white threads. I'm standing there. And I'm gonna stab you with this needle. So I'm looking for a cop for the guy. And of course, a fucking cop size coming. And I go, cops coming. That's all it took. Two minutes later, I thought it was gone, a cop walked away, two guys go, boom, throw me against the thing,

put me against the wall, handcuffed me, handcuffed this guy. And I'm going, I'm not with it, you're trying to tell a story already. So bring me into Penn State. But you're exactly like a story already. So bring me in a Penn State shag. But you're exactly like a heroin addict, so. I don't believe it. I'm like, yeah, okay buddy, you're not with it. Of course.

But I think they had an idea because they put us in two separate areas because I was like, all I kept thinking going down is, you know, Jesus Christ, you need to sell with this black dude. You should have done this when the cop was coming, you should have just looked at the cop and then nudge down towards the guy.

Right, you know. right for the picking. So the cop, one of the cops comes back in and he goes, look, man, I know you had nothing to do with it. I know what you did. I believe your story. I'm like, okay, you go, but I can't let you leave until like noon. So of course the tickets go on sale. I missed everything.

Oh, I missed it. It's home. I take it, man. You had to wait in line and fucking actually buy tickets. Yep like a douche back then there was no fucking internet And you're lucky there's electricity back then couldn't leave shitty comments on internet clips that you watch what did people do before the internet? So I mean that none of you guys got arrested. I've never been arrested. No, not even putting cuffs. I've done a no-con of illegal things I've like ruined people's lives before Whoa, whoa, What kind of fucking

dead-bundish-you-ing that? To join the podcast. That was awful. That was great. That was good one. That was such a good rider. That's terrible. That's the nicest thing I was ever said to me. Don't kill him with... How did you destroy people,? I uh... I uh... Say and put his Larry King face. I got real... No, because this fucking psychopath has been walking among us for months. And I don't need her being like... Well, I had to leave Australia because a man wrote me and I killed his family.

Never had sex with a married boy. I was so killed, your family. No, uh... I uh... there was a killer went to high school with and she was oh this is gonna get you killed oh my god Did you kill yourself? Carrie shit, I didn't know it was he was actually a no pussy We're getting fat Kelly back I love which means fast my hair is to this

Come and back I still the only one who knew me as fat Kelly. I did know you guys You know Chris definitely was the first person I am in New York what I moved in New York and yesterday was my Swallows I'm joking how big is she? I mean, you know, I mean, look, you were heavier, but I wouldn't describe you as a heavy girl at all. You would describe you as a fat girl. Yeah, fat fuck. No, you weren't heavy. I don't think anybody ever said that fat girl from Australia. I did.

It was saying that fuckable girl from Australia. That's fucking fuck off of Australia. Yeah, fat girl is moved No one ever talked about booties in Australia, but what I moved to people like nobody's a booty here either Be got Look at it But don't the dog I'm gonna give you what I'm gonna get cake for my tea and of course you want

On the way out congratulations. I'm like a day away Gaming I'm like a day away Telly for sure, she's gonna blow up Gaining weight Bobby's coming down and we're gonna high five each other You guys are two ships passing in the night And Kelly's the ship that goes BOOM BAM Dance on fire, dance on fire Dance on fire, dance on fire, dance on fire

This is it! It's been a long time coming! That's the first undeserved dance on fire! That's amazing! Let me tell you how everyone's in life. So, Gullum and the Haasco were the most popular girl. Big tenies and a body and always was dating the older guys. And she dated a famous footballer once again. She's a football one day yeah and like we were the same friendship circle and she was a real bitch to me so much of a bitch like

shoot over party and not invite me you know come on my party well things haven't changed because we actually had a two year anniversary party for you without you and we also invited her she's here right now You ruined my life All right, so how'd you ruin her life? No card. Okay. Oh Yeah, so a few years later I was sitting down with a friend and he's like so did you I'm gonna talk to you One a story and I hope it doesn't come back to bite me anyway He said hey, did you hear that so-and-so has been chosen for the newest big brother? What's her name?

Jane's her name. You're not gonna have a fucking name. I can't say a name. Wait a minute. There may be some legal shit going on. I can't mention the name. It's a crazy unique name. It's fun to still skinned.

She did some real bad shit. Yeah, she's like If I tell the end of this story and you guys fucking whale me for not being an interesting story I'm gonna just leave. I'm gonna go You know what? Let me loosen the knot on the bandana. Why don't you keep going? I hate said he said and this is when big brother This is like hey, you want to help me rape that girl? Oh easy That's not funny. I'll write jokes. Anyway, I know.

I know the hilarious. Kelly, that was a blow before the show. That's an old story. I've had a lot of coming. Alright, get to the start. Anyways, it was a long day. Yeah, so he said, this is a big brother was huge. Like, if you want big brother, you would be in a hot end.

Wait, how huge? As huge as Kelly or... Bigger. Can we? Was that... Yeah. Kelly, you can't call fucking as you're telling or bigger that was can we was that yeah you can tell you can call it if you laugh and also he is right because you guys have shows over there that are really big that suck over here okay like big brother and no can you get to bandana on a question how big was she bandana nobody laughs like I'm looking for information here anyway no this is it this is like I used to go when big brother was like was was a big show like you would be famous

If you go on big brother like the real world then we'll be like that now it's lost his charm anyway back there So I found this there holy shit. These are a lot of words. Did she speaks three times as fast as anybody else as well? Why don't we record this later and then put it like an ad I'm just gonna get to the point I will blow Lewis if this story ends in the next 25 my dick will not fitting your tiny mouth Now that's comedy. All right, now that we're all about story. We're just saying a story about anything.

I'm not going to have a screen count. I'm talking about my spam. All right, so Big Brother is big. Yadda Yadda, she's going to get it. No, I rang up a newspaper and I dobed her in as he, she's going to be on the new Big Brother. They published what I had said, didn't mention my name, and she got dropped that day from Big Brother

and they were supposed to be doing it that night. So she never got to be on the show because they dumped it on the day that they're supposed to release it into the house. So you ruined somebody's career. What did you say about it? I just thought I revealed her identity. You're not supposed to mention it. Yeah, I said her name is there and this is where she works. This is where she's from. I rang up left a message and they published it. They were like apparently one of the new people on the house is someone. And she had a dog cleaning business and blah blah blah blah blah.

You just gave it away. Oh, good boy. I'll show you dog cleaning business. I'll show you a big guy that's been by the name right now. Please do. Please do. They dropped it. They fucking dropped it on the day. They're like dog cleaning business. Yeah, like they yeah, she goes right to the house. What's that dog? Like dog grooming cleaning. They're called dog cleaning over there. They're vacuuming the I keep the door different words for stuff over there. Thanks Dan. I Cultural references are different overseas. So you just basically got her kicked off the show Yeah, she was ready to go. She's gonna be huge stuff. No, she wasn't it's a reality

You're not a huge Who I want? Who's a huge star that's ever been on big brother the mid oh big brother big brother No, no one and the miss is the only one out of fucking real world. Who else a huge star Tech who? Buck He killed himself, didn't he why didn't it he did it? Pucked him kill himself. Now you're thinking of what you should do Don't say that to Kelly. Her boobs are getting bigger.

Your boobs look bananas, man. I said, you able to find the crazy. Oh, thank you. You have the best angle, too. You will. Yeah, I mean, I'm down there. Kelly, I enjoy your personality. My girlfriend is downst, a level lowest, having dinner

with her friend, and I'm telling you, your breasts look ridiculous. My friend who's going to go up and take your pictures of your breasts right now friend and I'm telling you your breast look ridiculous. My friend is taking pictures of your breast right now and I'm loving it. Joe and I went to a bunch of strip clubs in Montreal. Yeah, all right. What are the extra music kind of to like? Did I give it away? Did I go to Zarian's? No, they are hot.

We went to the lunch shift we were the first joe uh... joe myself in another comedian fill went when they opened we could say fill handling with plug his name i don't know if he's got this i think he'd feel maybe he could say i love him thirty thousand listeners maybe it's a his last name maybe some of the google i hope fill fill fill families family disowns him for going to a strip club in Montreal. I'm not saying that's what it is.

Oh, I didn't think it was this. That's what it is. Oh, I didn't think it was this. He's a legend. Well, we went there and there was a free buffet going on at the strip club. KC Kelly's ears are very... It's like a Jack Russell Terrier. Wow, free buffet.

You didn't know him? You didn't know him? You know the free food you want? And all you had to do is pay one price. You didn't have the face of a street. I'm not really one voice, really. You didn't even know him. You didn't have the buffet. I know you're the newspaper price The free buffet was meatballs and cucumbers Basically that was it and we all got bowls of meatballs and there was like one smoking hot girl whose name I forget

Which one was oh his Your wife is getting is getting I think Soda is a good friend And I think he is loyalty where he doesn't need to where I was getting like lap dances from like this 22 year old girl It was like a fucking eleven. She was like crazy odd and Dan was like ah that shows girl I'm gonna get one from fucking leather face I got her rings she was 57 years old Great body and she did have some wear and tear on her face Lovely dance she has body. She has a lot tampons in nine years Girls that have had this

Drunk She was like, what is your mother's story? She drunk? She's not something I am. We'll swim in the head, are you mad at me? She drunk. I felt like I was trying to make a joke that you weren't really from Brooklyn. I can never get mad.

I'm not, I'm not the guy that ever gets mad. He's just gonna go upstairs and put on his leather jacket. I never get the bad, five hours of that. We'll just wait until he walks off in the end train. Ding, and like, he'll just get one in the back of the head. Oh, yeah, never, like in that round. You put a fucking Eastern to the side of your head. All right. You got that pants off leather face. All right, get back in the head. I'm not going to like it that way. You put a fucking Easton to the side of your head. You got that bent of leather face.

Now here's the thing. And Jo's like, yeah, she was older. She cared. She actually took time. Yeah, but she was wearing snow tires on her fucking face. Yeah, those fun. She cared about her social security. She had a passion.

Yeah, she had a lot of passion. But she had been around the block. She knew how to dance She was funny charming you sharpen your knife on the side of her face Dan did she when she's like a cigarette and just goes all right, let's do that I high five to watch she was giving Dan a lap there you get a song for 15 You want to song you're a man man my grandson You want to go on your own on me on my grandson? Oh, look at that. Put them on your face.

Oh, you were quite there, right? I can't ask you that. She was giving Daniel Appdance. It was the Charleston. Oh, that should have killed him. That should have killed someone. Oh, man, it wasn't. That was the guy.

It was almost by Billion. The audience is dying. Yeah, so I'm talking about that. She's not dancing. She's doing the Charleston. This is typing up tweets of the house by all my mouth is right now. Hi, boys. Can I ask you about the stribus in Canada? I Tribing up Hi boys can I ask you about the strip is in Canada did I give it away?

Your touch are tense amazing full contact. Oh, but you can like touch there Sonani Touched It's anywhere I want to strip club in Jersey at lace last. That's a hooker Where you're really talking about I went to a strip club in Jersey at lace last night a hooker I'm a hooker. You're a good looking. I'm a sucker. I'm a fucking this Jamaican girls. I can't I'm like girl. I'm not trying to do it. I'm like I'm a fuck-tazered in the middle of it How did you sucker tith me your forehead was

Huge tits Lips on fire Oh, it's funny. Oh, you really can't suck tits. No, you can suck. It's a stripper's band I'm fire You really can't suck tits. No, you get sucked it's a stripper's bang strippers you guys can't I bang that least 50 Sripper I think I'm not even trying to sound cool. I thought that's what happened You're a hand I love go I love Chris being the naive asshole where he's like you guys don't bang every stripper you me You haven't bang a thousand. I just start that one thing. Be a dead seer. What are you, I just bagged it.

Every time I went this like, Well, Kelly, you look like a hard team here. You don't get their phone number? I saw him in a stripper's phone number. Two years ago, Chris, call one right now on the phone. I want to hear a story. I want to hear a story. Let's humble brag.

Here we go. Do you have like a separate drink? What's his name? Man, I got this one. There we go. The bandana finally leaves my mic because of Lewis's awful male stripper Jay and can we also reference the fact that

Kelly called a woman's vagina Poonani she's referencing all night shit nice rump Poonani look at the jugs on her she got some junk in her trunk so can I ask so in Canada, cause prostitution's legal there, so we're there stupid. Prostitution's not legal in Canada.

Do you know nothing about the world? No, no, you're thinking of what, you're thinking of West Canada and it's, I've heard in British Columbia, like, like, with the, with the area you can get hookers, the same way we do legal in Western Canada. It's that, they turn their fucking nose

and they're not gonna give it to us. They really go after you hard So what are you? Especially in hockey season they won't come here? What do you say full contact? You mean you can touch the boobs or us? Smack, smack butt, grab boobs Can't do that in one more hitter What about the private rooms? I was in a private room nothing. I was trying to get a big deal

You know, but they try to get $500 out of you when you're in the private room New York City you can either have as far as I know last time I was around Went to clubs yesterday you could bring bring your own booze. Okay No, no, no forget that Not this clubs when you bring your own booze and then you buy it back from them You bring your own booze they take it and then you buy it back from them. You bring your own booze, they take it, and then you buy from them. But in New York, it's either

no drinks and full nudity. Or it's drinks and topless. What about what about my talk? Like, and I'm not, I honestly like, I'm just being dead serious. Like every time I'm in a strip club, the girl's giving me a laptop, I've made out with her instructor.

I'll tell you this. I'm a finger in her. You're a wher that've got a finger in her. I've always been there. You're aware that you're a very striking guy. But I'm not, but I don't, but I didn't say no. I don't think that I'm not. No, but I'm not. I told you before I'm not.

It's just whatever you want to say for a comedian, that's fine. But in real life, I'm not. Oh, yeah, you are. You are. You're not really. You're kind of a hulk. Dude, if you put scotter's chin'm fucking Chris's face. He look like a fucking abber. Wow. Right back to you. That was a tie. More than it was a bomb. I got two quick

points. Sorry. I got the bandana was for bombs. Flat tie is no count as bombs. They're flat tires. That's not still a bomb, dude. Okay. I'll say, all right. Accept it. Let's go to Kelly. What wouldn't you say? I'm gonna sound like a homo here. Chris is the most attractive guy in the room. Yes No, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. I think I'm better. Look at the Christus the fauna. It's clearly. I'm not gonna It's clearly dan soda and that fucking buddy role is so great. It's clearly dan. So what are you doing? Clearly, what are you doing? I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, I'm bothering you, Give it to her. All right, right over here. Lewis's girlfriend says he's the best looking. Thanks, baby. Yeah, Lewis.

Oh, there's no bias there. It would be weird if she didn't. It'd be like if she's like, I think Dan's the good answer. Lewis, he's like, Lewis is a beautiful face. Look at him. Look at that. Can I pull? It's out of the mouth.

You look sick. Dude, you look so gay right now. Alright, you know what I'm changing help it. It's true. For P.L.S. go. Joe and I not only went to strip clothes, but we hiked up Mount Royale. Yeah, Mount Royale. Royale? Was that from the movie? Yeah. Let's give it to us.

Where is it? Where is the bandana? What the fuck was that? Come on, Ty. I was at the last lap. It was from the beginning of time. It was from what the mountain's called. Pretty called. Yeah, that's just what the mountains called. Is there anything interesting about the mountain? I just like the city heroin.

The city. Why are you texting, buddy? Chris text on the whole fuck. Oh, are you taking that? If I got to go early, he's in the last test message to six strippers. Yeah, I'm talking about you lovely What you doing tonight black ones My true strip club get back to it. Oh, well, I was talking about the Anthony DeVito story that was really funny That's hilarious. I love that kid. This is a guy named Anthony DeVito hilarious Anthony DeVito what's the bottom underscore? That's his Twitter. Whatever it doesn't matter. What am I talking about? that kid is a guy named hilarious uh... and the what's the bottom underscore that's his twitter

whatever does matter what are we talking about also has a dead father he doesn't know that father uh... what do you like to dead dad's if you had more than one family member died

what i made it family I made it family Oh, wait to make it sad Can I find if your dad was stabbed to death? Oh Oh dude, that's heavy My dad I'm not

That was a pocket knife Okay What do you get stabbed 150 times They hit an artery? Say happy birthday to my dad Yes, it's my brother this week Lower intestine Alright, if we're doing shout out

We're gonna get on a channel Alright, can we Anthony Divido Oh Anthony Divido We were in Montreal, big festival do in shout out, we're gonna get on channel Harder. All right, can we Anthony Gavita? Oh, Anthony Gavita. Well, we were in Montreal Big festival. It's hilarious. It's fun. Everyone's there. That's whatever we get drunk. I get hammered I passed out in my buddy my buddy Tommy's room. I wake up. I'm staying with Soder. Yeah, you wake up Anthony Gavita is fucking in the ass. Yeah, I'm filming it baby covered in semen Italian semen it's red white and blue Super kind the best guy. Yeah, red white and green baby. Covered in semen. Italian semen. It's red-white in the world. It's the best time.

The best time. Yeah, red-white in green. Run over the fuck. I get up. Knolly's cream. I passed out at 7 o'clock in the morning. I wake up at 11. I'm like, oh, this is the wrong room.

I got to go up. I get into Dan's room. We start talking. I start hitting Dan. I open Dan. I'm like, Dan wake up. And he's like, what's up, man? What is it?

I go, we got to call Anthony DeVito and tell him he has a radio interview. And he's like this. All right, man, what is it? I go, we gotta call Anthony DeVito and tell him he has a radio interview. And he's like this, all right, man, yeah. What we're gonna do is we're gonna fuck with all of the people that... It's a prank. Yeah, the people that do new faces, which is a show at Montreal,

they stayed at different hotels. That's whatever. Then the hotel, I was standing at. So Joe wakes me up and he goes, we need to go prank Anthony. I got the number for the hotel. And I know which hotel room he's in. So we wanted to call him because we knew he was out late drinking. Call him and be like, you have a radio interview. And you need to come

do it. Well, we should have said five minutes. That was my plan. Yeah. So Joe makes me do the call and I just do a shitty French accent. And he's, you could tell he's like, sleep because he's like, oh, I don't like, you see so, you see Mr. De Vito? And he's you could tell he's like sleep because he's like oh Oh, I don't like you see so is this mr. De Vito and he's like yeah, yeah Like we have a radio interview scheduled for you for for 2 p.m. And he's like oh, okay It's a big hi it you can hear is he made it change like oh great all right great He's not a pep and up and then he goes then he goes what time and you go to and it was like 11 30 and I was like No, no earlier the whole point is to get him to spring out of bed to run it's like no earlier and then Dan goes like this she thought those you know what I was just there now you can say

me I was like 2 p.m. section 1 p.m. yeah and then we asked him if he wanted anything and he's like what did he say no no so it goes like this you want the soda's a drink so something he goes I don't't know, ginger ale I guess, is a kite, and then he goes, the sandwich he's, and he's like, I don't know if it's not too much trouble, I'll take a chicken sandwich. I can't do this.

I'm sort of giving us all these away. And then we asked him if you do the interview nude. And he's like, what? He wasn't even like, you just like, I get, what? And then started like the any let them in will also be appearing That's when we all started laughing I should just let him show

That's the story would have been fucking great if you gave him an address Don't point me We were both laughing on speaker phone and he goes fuck you guys Well once you said nude once you said nude you said you say no dude Then it becomes a joke you told me to tell me you say I did not say yes you do it all that that's no you That's a lot It's say nude fuck the only thing the only one thing I said was earlier earlier that's it you did everything else and I really like the whisper any joy trying to pass us up

You deserve it. I'm not taking any responsibility in this story. It was my idea calm tells the right view and You did everything else bullshit That's both true and you know and I can see on your face. I'm knowing you too long I know that you know all right. He's got a right. I know you know. What's that from good? Anybody can you guys make out now? I know you know. I'll make out with it I think we should I think we should go around and rate Dan as a host so far. Oh Jesus All right, Chris as the best texture in the history

I'm trying to find out if I gotta go if you get a text and you gotta go I know Chris that sprants bought the hammer down Joe thank you for taking the heat It needs a host to show at Caroline's but it might be canceled So he's at that point where he's like show Lee or show stay because it most likely just take it a care I'm sorry um Yeah, I guess I could just go up six Avenue. Yeah, all right good. So we got Chris rest of the show boom I got to leave in like 10 minutes. All right. It's all right. You've been j you're leaving in 10 minutes. No, I'm gonna make out with you in 20 minutes. Oh

I gotta leave in eight minutes Joe, where are you going? You'll fight super Mario Mario brothers to exet him out that That was almost now, you know what that was almost abandoned I mean it was clearly pre-written on Wednesday at 6. I just see Beatrice like, Lewis, we take out the trash. I thought I'm going to say what you're hoping. You look over here.

You look over here. Lewis's hand is just covered in aches, gets zingers on it. It's all messed together and running. I think the next one was your mouth, Luke. The dog's asshole was the best one. That was a good one. That was great. It was pretty little Really good for you Gas out the first five Did you say you had one for me? He said you said next show you had a good get

Oh now I can't say it now. I gotta wait. I do it. I do have a good one Why are you gonna wait for Bobby? No, I gotta wait no, no, I would do it But now she brought it up. I can't just say it now I said I got cuz you've got a pretty good one of the fucking bandana Kelly Spin but it's my two-year anniversary Why do I today is mine and Beatrice is three-year anniversary? Congratulations Beatrice for being involved with such a time Putting up with this.

Porto Reakin for so long. Beautiful penis. Beautiful. Not too big. Nice shaped. Show us your ear. I'll show you your fucking ear. I think I won't do it.

I think Lewis would gladly show you. I mean, you guys are going to have your retar off for that. Yeah, right. Smash your ear. Don't, don't, no. No, no. Take it out. No.

All right You say fuck it out I'm gonna take it my dick. How do you have your mind? Why I'm a train I don't just do the shit. I do the shit. I do this you do it for what I I do the shit. I do this. You do it for life. Now hold on, I'm professional. I professionally look at dudes' dicks. That's my job. Dude, I've looked at literally hundreds of guys' penises.

No, it doesn't make me feel anymore comfortable. Because we're watching, we're watching something from previous episodes that I never realized. We've had Chris on before and we've had Louis on a ton of times. But I've never realized that this could be the most quasi gay relationship. Dude, you had him talking before we started. They were talking about working out. Oh, he gay relationship. Dude, you had to hear them talking before we started. They were talking about working out.

Oh, he's like, yeah, you know, I bet they recommended a slow over here. That's something that's wrong with Lewis's hand. So he was like holding his hand and examining it. It was amazing. But I gave him your strength. I'm sure his break out radio. I was 10 to 9.

He's like, yeah, you're going to take out. He's going to give them all this. It was what I do. It was really's like yeah, you're gonna take out the bill. He's gonna He's gonna be a good What I do it was really tenderly the way you're touching Okay, what's my sexual element? He's got sweet for Everybody shut up Happened half hour from now you're called from Bobby how to go yeah, it was interesting

Been although the other shows have never made it to air only saying so yeah, this is Thursday show Thursday put it out Thursday Oh, God, I think it's a good show. I think it's a good show. I miss Bobby. I miss Bobby, too But you know what Lewis? I think it's been a pretty good show. I think it's especially good show because Chris keeps on texting Yeah, I'm trying to be honest. I'm never gonna be doing a trans group Yeah Would you get show I'll try it again. I'll be honest. I never cared for Bobby I'm not getting the band-aunt on the second time I actually yeah, I agree you don't get the band-aunt. Oh, yeah, Bobby The host's soda she get the band-aunt for just letting us sit in silence. I want to see how long you guys are gonna go

I like this. I like stretching I like this I like stretching I'm scared it's kind of you know nothing over I'm taking over you see on box Is it you go this or Stop texting I don't know what you're saying the last text Tell me we're kidding Kelly. I got the feeling okay. Yeah Kelly What why are you quitting smoking? Because it's I'm done you're done. Yeah, that was a hell of an interview day. I feel like I'm looking I'm starting to look all the way like she's waiting Wasting all this eating time

You know that she keeps putting herself in the air 38. I'm 30 you don't look 30. I'm 30. You don't look 30 Thank you Chris is gonna fuck Kelly now. I can't I'm not into that I'm into you but I'm not in you never fuck you're not into You were a fucking girl I think Kelly's attractive Chris would you fuck Kelly? I was a joke as a guy would but I mean I wouldn't but as a guy would I don't know if that's a guy you would put a comedian you wouldn't no just as like a new me. I wouldn't you know I know what's his new yeah, I can't go after the pussy

Did you guys fuck when you first? Never open up just like a little Never and I drove you home plenty of times I'm in one time You on your way to Broadway comedy club. And you were like, you're gonna have me to introduce you to people. And I was like, cool, so we were in the car. And you know, we're driving.

Wait a minute, you said you introduced him to people? No, I tried to help her out. What's your first thing? It's fucking helped me out. It's a good dude. And now I was basking to do a wee. And the color, I was like, I was like in the car. You were, what?

You were basking? I was basking to a wee in the car. I'm the fucking talker. And I was like in the car what you were basking I was busted away in the car So in the car and I was like Chris I think I'm gonna wet my pants like I think I'm gonna wet I'm in a lot of like it was like painful how bad it was anyway I came in a lot of like it was like painful how bad it was anyway We eventually found the wound the car. We had eventually found the toilet But I'm very curious. I run on your Facebook wall. I was like, hey, thanks so much for the list the lift I'm really glad I didn't piss myself in your car right and then I saw the next day you deleted the message Oh, yeah, that's because you had a girlfriend you fucking asshole. Why would you post that as a wall?

That's a response. I had a boyfriend. I had a three-year relationship at the time Yeah, but you guys are swingers. No, I never cheated on him. I had to yeah, I had no choice You never cheated on one person. No, you've never cheated on the person ever not even a kiss I've cheated on every girlfriend I've ever had Oh You're gonna be one lonely baby Remember what you yelled at you for you in jail. This is gonna be worse I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I want to know why you guys are so shocked that I've never cheated on a guy which means that Because you're waging war! Oh, she did! On your girlfriend's you mean it?

I've opened about it though You've said before the oil You are always talking about how you love the smashing machine Yeah, the smashing machine kind of is stupid, you love to fuck this Yeah, but I'm...he's the oil You love to have sex with penises, we get it That is like the sentence you like to fuck this You like to fuck this?

That's such a Lewis sentence, you like to fuck this Do you want to fuck you like the fuck It's such a Lewis sentence you like the fuck You want to fuck some dirt Also also being surprised that someone hasn't done something doesn't mean you've done it Like to be like if I've been a girl and I'm like you never had an old that's crazy because I've had an I thought judges told the fuck in the riddle What walks in the morning I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it.

I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it.

I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it.

I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I never done it. I'm a step in here. Bobby's not here to defend her that's Kind of accurate We're only half accurate On your girlfriend The fifth eventually I'm all we're dead I would I would like to say

We're not like I'm over dead. Good luck. Can you hit out of your own? I would like to say that. Oh my God. I'm like, what's wrong, she's fine. Would not like this information leaked. Did I have a whole bunch of other relationship while I was with my last girl? Yeah, he's fine. I don't know if you remember from the earlier thing. Your pregnant girlfriend's in the room. She knows you can fuck this up.

She met me when I had a girlfriend. Ooh. Oh. Oh, fucking home record. Ooh, Tomcat. No, she wouldn't hook up with me because I had girlfriend. I fucking love Beatrice. Oh Fucking home record No, she wouldn't hook up with me because I love Beatrice. I fucking the way she He was punching up me And listening he never tells the stories quite right? I'm trying to not into it. I'm reading it Five minutes let's go. No, because Bobby would go. Everyone turned their phones off

dudes, but no one did that. I've been cheated on really badly. I'm not the host. And I gotta leave. As we talk, I'm late for my show because I love you guys. Wait, how did you get cheated on? How did you, how did you get cheated on? We've also done it. Oh, how I found out. So the girl called me and left a voicemail on my phone going, hi, I just thought you know that me and Aaron have been fucking the whole time You've been going out with him and I was like 18. I was my Is that when you took gay errands? Wait, hey Joe. Give me the fucking bomb

Why cuz I said the wrong name yeah wrong name Bob. I love the record that the bomb cloth would have a bomb I like the Reckless the bomb cloth whatever That's hilarious Units Relevant I Not Let's come those

YPD My flabby abs come back Do you notice that she keeps sitting like with her elbows back like trying to show it off Because my arms are flyby now and her shoulders about to go through the ceiling By the way from behind Kelly looks like Dexter out of you notice that I don't get that at all Oh, that's a good one Bring your post cancer which one Was that the one you might not even sit on a fucking gym for weeks Now why the fuck on take it?

Kelly shut your fucking face Chris love that joke That was a good one. I didn't get it. He do look like Dexter Morgan from the back. What the hell? I don't even know what that means. He's got like weird hair and it's just great muscle tone, great, great trash.

He's got weird hair and back knee. He's got the shoulders, a holy wheel. He looks like a bar. Kelly looks like she could punch through a wall Killing really as fucking 26 inch by thought Like Joe is way sexier arms and Kelly Yeah, Dix Baby, can you please just take a picture of Joe and Kelly flexing at the same time?

Already from the one with I think no, man, let's get our tits together Nipples are I got a chocolate chip you don't like your lipples get in play with try like I'm getting played with yeah play with your nipples are yeah, I don't know like I think that you guys are fucking me hard on us I think this is a good podcast. I had a fun. I laughed it hard the whole time Hashtag Hashtag, save you Well Chris, thanks for coming back on the show. Thank you for having me I appreciate it. We'll get you on with body. Oh, let's do the sponsors

You know what I mean to do it. I think you know what it's supposed is supposed to do the apologies. Yeah. Sorry. All of the people that usually listen. Sorry to black people. That was that was first, wasn't it? Sorry to the girl. Yeah. It's not like the most racist thing of the day. Sorry to black people for everything I've been living in my head every time you're for me and another thing for saying faggot At a very hot day on time Sorry, let's hear you do the sponsors that maybe we're grooming you for your own show you don't even know well Silent to me going No, I hate that voice Here's our sponsors actually no go to ryecast.com backslash robber Kelly and

Then go to the Amazon button Fuck you Lewis. It's a worse plug for any of the sponsor Amazon Go to the Amazon. Fuck you Lewis. I hope hope I hope hammer fisting makes no money off Amazon I hope we get all the money off Amazon Go to forward slash Robert Kelly on riotcast.com Amazon button click on it by anything and Book market book market and you're helping out the show and you're helping out yourself by buying stuff I also want to thank Gamefly.com right now. I'm to thank them or do you want to tell people to go there? Are you now you just looking at what you want to do?

He wants to do both, dude. Now you just say, I want to thank them and I'm telling people to go there. Get a subscription. You get two video games. You get a trial for $2199. Actually, it's cheaper than that, right, Rob? What's the trial?

It's free, you dick. It's a free trial for 15 days. 15 day free trial. I'm getting this hand right. I don't need that cuz I fucking know the plug 15 day free trial two games. It's free sign up for the free fucking trial go to hammer fishing dot com KWD Raba Kelly

I cast dot com slash rubber kill okay, and I'm the other sponsors cream Schumer as well Does anyone know when the new clubs are opening up soon? I to know that i want to buy their yesterday it's in shambles it's dust and boards everywhere i swear to god i heard that it's tenth that's what i heard yeah and uh... laugh button laugh button and laugh spin uh... that photo why was there a massive carball cut out of bobby kelly in Montreal because it was the greatest thing ever was the funniest thing

we just didn't know you walked in and just got guys from laugh button came down stairs and they were like we got a full blown cardboard cut out of Bobby. Can we do like a fake you know what dude here in Montreal. I think by the way he meant full size. Full size. That's it. It's huge. Took three guys to carry. And it's just made a cardboard. But we did, we took a couple pictures and they tweeted it. If you want to go go to the, I think it's at laugh button on Twitter. They have a bunch of pictures of Joe the truth list and I happen much. Yeah. With Bobby, well cardboard cutout Bobby, who's still smoking the cardboard cutout. Yeah. Still smoking looks really creepy and Krinschima and Yalza fitness as well

If you're a fat fuck, Gory, Yalza fitness You can fold it up dead I watched this TV the other day and ran for 45 minutes No Game and wait I think that is like the park culling the kettle fat you full fat fucks I'm losing weight I'm all of you I'm trying it up are you fucking crazy? Fuck you. I'm not GHB. I'm getting yoked. GHB. You're supposed to work out that GHB. You're taking a day rig drug. GH. What the fuck are you talking about?

It's dayraping himself in his apartment. I'll never remember this. As much as Dave rap school, we're going to want his up guys. Everyone do their plugs. Let's go around. Lewis Gomez, you guys can visit me at Comic Dave Smith on Twitter. He has like 90 followers. He needs some help. Sprance. Gloryhole podcast and ryecast.com. The ryecast app is coming out very soon.

Check out all the great shows. Right. Which I saw today, which is a fucking unbelievable. I cannot even believe you don't even know you fucking don't even it's I can't. No one else is going anything like it. It's coming out Kelly's verbally blowing you. Which the fucking greatest thing of ever seen in my life. And I saw who give birth to that. It was the greatest thing of ever seen in my life and I saw who give birth life. It was the greatest thing ever.

Sexy Christus Stefano. Twitter's at Christy comedy. I'll be finger banging strippers. It's a city here. Oh wait, one about, well yeah, I'll be gone for the next, when, when does it come out? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, we don't even know if this thing's gonna see the day. Can I plug some Shutter Day? Yeah, yeah. Alright, next Wednesday, let me get out of this thing. You can see the daylight. Can I plug some Shedderwick quicks? Who's the next month? All right, next Wednesday, which is probably out. Do you give the dates? Because you don't know when to come out.

11, 11, 11, three weeks, all right. Then, uh, fucking August 24th and 25th, I'm with Big J. O'Coursin in Rhode Island at the Comedy Connection connection. There you go. Ace of Providence. Joe, the truth list. What do you got?

I'm trying to find the name of the joint but September 28 September 28 is on that far away. It's called the spot Providence Rhode Island also oh shit Can I do I got can I get um august 25th at the Borgada? Oh, and September 12th Caroline's who are you? I'm a study open up for Arty Lang at the Borgon Good old Arty Lang look at the kid. I you Danny. You're in Seattle.

I'll be there the first through the third doing Bumber Shoot music festival. Bumber Shoot. It's a club where there's something gay you'd known. It's a big music festival with James addiction in Tony Bennett. So literally.

And I will be having my plugs stepped over by Chris to Stefano and also I'll be at the Palisades Comedy Club with Bob. and i will be having my plugs uh... stepped over by christ the stefanow and also will be at the palisades comedy club uh... that the palisades comedy jr. givets levitie live which by the way that club is beautiful and will be a livid live bobby and i'll be there next Wednesday well i'll be there at the number of it's my hometown

well this is bobby's podcast joe joe jone give you a little plus again no i don't i don't want anyone to come to my show this and louis and dan are all more important than me Go fuck. Joey, do you want to give him a little fuck? No, I don't. I don't want anyone to come to my show. Chris and Lewis and Dan are all more important than me. Joey, do you want to plug your mouth closed with a titsy roll? Oh! Oh!

Oh! Kelly, anything? Nope. Okay, good afternoon. Okay, Kelly, go. You got one? Kelly, I mean, at the up and mic at the... Let her do her thing, but still end the podcast with Lewis's burn

But yeah, go for a while. That's fine. Just follow me on Twitter follow at Kelly for stew get if STUC a for stew get and Bobby will be back next time. I think you did a good job then. Thanks great job I did as well Let's all suck each other off. You know what I'm getting? From this box, from this box, from this box. You know what I'm getting? Really dude, really, really, really. You know what I'm getting? I'm just getting sick. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan.

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