Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - A Lil Confused

Episode Date: February 6, 2017

This week on YKWD: Paul Virzi hosts with Luchana Gatica and Yannis Pappas! Luchana tells us of a strange first date that never should have worked out. We talk about about Boy Scouts finally letting a trans person into their ranks. We also do hysterical and filthy Aaron Berg impressions! Plus so much more! Enjoy! RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a cost of fire. It's podcast, it's no rules. What are the mic-ass holes? I'm sure I've already said should I regret? Can I get a microphone? Oh, what the fuck?

That was trying to keep it like a comic-ass. I have a bunch? That's a fuck! That was trying to keep it like a comic-head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin!

That's how it all starts, you motherfucker! I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on flightcast.com. popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know. All right guys, what's up? This is Paul Verzi here and I am co, no not co, I am, yes, I keep saying everybody said, are you co? And I'm like, no, I'm fucking Bobby today.

I was here last week for an amazing one with, who was on it? Anthony Cumia with Casey Balsham and we got into it and it got a little political and nuts, but fun. And then I asked me to do this and I'm thrilled to be here. And I have a, I have you, Deepu. I have a co-pilot here. Yeah, Paul is so excited to have a producer in this studio as opposed to just like someone he emails. Dude, I've been doing my podcast for six years and when I fuck up,

it's like I just either have to, you know, I have to stop everything, I have to go back. I have to make sure it's recorded, it's like, I just either have to, you know, I have to stop everything, I have to go back, I have to make sure it's recorded, and it's always me. Dude, every listener knows when you hear Lloyd, there's a pause after that. Oh, I always. Yeah, the middle of my podcast, like, people like that, though. Yeah, it's great. Don't take it out, so my dog Lloyd, I would be in the middle of like some fucking rant or something. I'd be like, Lloyd, it's like, you fuck it, and everyone's like, you gotta keep that in there. So I'm either yelling at my cats my kids and my dog during it But here I have deep who deep and we also have amazing guests one is also coming

Do you want to yeah our first guest today's Alexis Grarros? What about a of Cooligan's fame. That's right Cooligan's blowing up. I'm like soccer. Please stop calling me gang. I can hear it already all right We lost listeners already. Yeah, I said soccer. They, sucker, they were like, yeah, I can't. I think I'm listening to a European podcast or something where they're like the Super Bowl's this way. What's going on? Yeah. We also have Luciana Gatica in the studio.

Yeah. Luciana Gatica pronouncing my English. Tula Dinos. Is it? I know. Luciana? Yes. Luciana.

And where are you from? Well, I was. Well, your family. Chile and Irish German. So half Chile and half Irish German. Oh, okay. There you go. You go to Chile. I haven't since I was a little girl, but I want I don't know probably let back in Too brown Another four to eight years hopefully four

And we also have Janice popus just later on in the show today. Jan has a boyfriend who I ran into last night and always stay out way too late. Janice is one of those guys like, you know, Janice and I are close, right? Yeah. And, uh, well, like us, like, but when I see Janice, I know, I remember back in the day, Burr would say every time I saw Deroza, we would just go fuck because we knew it meant that they were going to be out. And that's kind of what's happening with Jan honest now, because we both smoked the cigars,

and we both like to, you know, go out, hang, shoot the shit, we always end up in a diner. Right. And it turns it, and I have an hour drive home. And I'm like, no, if I leave it one-third, even on the go-out, it's two. Yeah. And then I'm like, dude, it's three,

I'm gonna get home before it, and it's always a fucking nightmare, so sometimes it's good when you don't see those people. Yeah. But you, I just found out, Martin's gonna no longer be smoking the sticks for a while just for a little bit All right, my wife works at a kind of cancer hospital. All right, she just got some whole thing that says it's like smoking 15 cigarettes And I'm like, no, baby. I'm like first the first thing I said was like you can't prove that I'm like

Where you get this information? And she's like you idiot. I work in the cancer hospital in the world I'm like, oh yeah, good point that means Bobby Kelly smokes yeah, Bobby Kelly must smoke fucking four packs of cigarettes a day. He smoked one tobacco farm yesterday. Yeah. I thought you don't inhale. I don't know how to smoke. You don't. But the smoke. You want to pull the smoke back and out and as such, it travels through your esophagus so much that it's the equivalent of because it's so big. Well, I will tell you this. Luciana is right about something because I went to my doctor and I was like, look, you know, my wife has given me shit and my wife gives me shit because I love a stay. You know, I mean I smoke fucking I love to smoke a good dude if I smoke like cigar is deal say we like you were hanging out with Rosie today We're gonna. Yeah, I so I guess they say that the main smokers in the comedy senior New York would be myself

Aaron Berg who just quit Bobby. No, I saw him yesterday outside smoking He says he's quitting. Oh, I hope I didn't ruin it. I just put him on blast. Yeah, it's fucking girls listening. Like, what the fuck? Yeah. No, he did quit, as a matter of fact.

Yeah. Oh, no, he wasn't smoking. That wasn't yet. No, so it's Berg, myself, obviously Bobby, Yannis, I would say you, you're probably like, you're probably like tier two. I'm second level. You're second level, but you're still in the category. Yeah, I'm in the game. And you want to know what's funny about it is when you go on the road, like, you're probably like tier two. I'm second level. You're second level, but you're still in the category. Yeah, I'm in the game.

And you wanna know what's funny about it is when you go on the road, like I won I was in Canada, I was performing in Canada. And they were like, what's this whole thing with like New York comics smoking cigar now? Like people see us doing it. Yeah, I'm from LA and no one does that there. Of course not, because it's not organic, you know?

Yeah, that's true. But I can never, yeah, like, well, can I get a free range cigar? Is that possible? I see. I have like a electric cigar. Maybe they should do it. They do, but they're actually making that shit.

Oh my god. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. Let's, you know what it's just like. I'd rather get cancer before I smoke a fucking, I'd be like 15 cigars. I don't give a shit. Yeah, I need cigar.

It's just like either smoke a fucking stick or not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So let's do this. Let's talk about this. What I want to talk about is actually good that we have because I've been talking to people about this a lot. Um, now how long have you been in the New York comedy scene now? Uh, it'll be three years in March. Three years. I remember you when you were first got here. I saw you at Gotham. I believe that was. I wasn't even going to move here. You were like one of the people who like, like, he was like the first comic I met here in New York. And he was like, you should move here. I was like, nah. Did you came from the LAC? Yeah. Yeah. And I always wanted to live here, but then I just kind of gave up on it in my late 20s.

I was like, I'm not moving across the country. I'm not going to like winter and shit. Yeah, yeah. And then yeah, and I was actually, I was just visiting. That was my first time. And it was juice, right? Yeah, it was juice, comedy juice. Yeah, it was like in October of like 2013. And then yeah, I remember talking to you, you're like, you should move here. Like you would do really well. And I was like, I don't know, like I don't think so.

Can't leave me lied to you. Well that's what I know. It's all your fault. Yeah. Now I'm here. She's like, so I'm begging you to us to live a filled microphone. Yeah, you ruined it. I'm like, now I'm, I know. Yeah, I won't go near this thing. Yeah, I'll get for breeze. I got fucking

Bob. Yeah, for breeze is gonna kill the bacteria. Don't even worry about this thing is fucking infested with Bobby breath. Yeah. You smelling that that's 15 cigarettes on its own. I wish it didn't smell like cigars. Yeah. So now I guess this a thing. A lot of people, when people go out to Los Angeles, it's either, I'm getting, it's either hate. Like a lot of people just hate it. Like a lot of East Coast. Yeah. Or just like, no, you know, and I was out there visiting,

you know, I went out there for, I performed at the Orphium. I opened for Burr, I knew your Zeeve. Me and my wife went out there. I heard that show was crazy. That show was crazy. I'm not gonna let show was crazy. And it was me, Bartonick, Lawhead Burr, it Year's Eve, me and my wife went out there. I heard that show was crazy. That show was crazy. I'm not gonna let show was crazy. And it was me, Bartonick, Lawhead Burr,

it was just four horsemen. It was a four horsemen, it was fucking awesome. I knew your Zee. I knew your Zee. At two shows, but my wife were driving around, and my wife is like, I can't live here. And, but I feel like this is just me. When I was in LA the first time, I was like,

I get the weather, I get the sights. The sights would be like seeing the mountains and shit. Like it's cool. It's nice. Dude, I drove to San Diego. I was like, this is ridiculous. It's a beautiful landscape. The weather is great.

I also like that it gets a little cold at night because of the desert, but I didn't love it. But then my second time going, I stayed for like a week and something about it changed. I was like, I kind of like it. I kind of it changed. I was like, I kind of like it. I kind of like the fucking helicopters flying around. I kind of like the weather. I kind of like it.

And then I noticed I missed it, but I will say this. I think I can do it like two week increments or a month. I just don't know. I don't know. I mean, I got kids. I love the seasons and shit, but not that that man. That that matters, but I think it's cool for my kids to have fucking snow. Yeah, no, no, no.

It makes you a better person. No offense. Yeah, it makes you a better person. I don't know about it better., but I think it's cool for my kids to have fucking snow. Yeah, no, no. It makes you a better person. No offense. Yeah, it makes you a better person. I don't know about a better person. No, I do it. I think it does. No, because if you have fucking perfect weather all year round, there's something wrong with your head.

You never get that time off. You don't get that snow. I can't go outside. You don't miss people. You don't like the first week of spring in the city. It made me. That's like the fucking greatest. So let's say that's, let's say,

maybe a more balanced. I don't know about better. No, I think I'm gonna make you better. I'm gonna make you better. You get better DNA. You get better inside. You're a better inside. You're just a better human being.

I mean, maybe something we're better. It's just that they're so shitty, you know, over here. It's just what it is. I think it's too much of a good thing out there. I love visiting LA because when you get out there, you're like, oh, this is great. And then a week later, you're like, all right, I get it. I can't wait to go back.

And I'm not one of those guys who's like, I can't get a good slice. I mean, I am that guy actually. But, you know, that doesn't bother me. Like the topography doesn't bother me. The geography, what really bothers me is like, and you know what it is? This time I found it's the comedians

that I really like out there. It's literally everyone else in that city. That's not just like a regular dude from Los Angeles. I'm talking like the actors, the people from there, from their towns, that they're considered themselves the hottest, the cutest that go to that fucking city. They're just the shittiest people.

I can't be around them. I can't be around these stupid conversations like, so what do you do? What do you do? I don't give a fuck about you. And I don't want you to give a fuck about me. That's true. I had a lot of questions.

I had a lot of questions. Yeah, I remember meeting Paul and he was like, yeah, you should move here. And he was so nice. I didn't know him, but he was like, hey, what's up? You don't have people like you as an LA? I did not expect that when I moved here.

I don't know any comedians. Really? I did not expect to be embraced the way I was by the comedy community in New York City. It's unbelievable, especially women. Because women, the female comedians in L.A. are all like hot girls, and a lot of them are my friends. If you're listening, I still love you.

But they're just like hot girls, and they're like, oh my God, it's like so like, you know, crazy, like doing stand-up with them hot. You know, and it's like- Some of them are my friends, I love you. But they're like, oh my God. No, but it's like every hot girl just thinks it's so ironic. Oh my God, I'm going to do stand up because it's like so ironic because they're all actresses,

you know what I mean? And it's like, it's so crazy. And it's just also, there are no, like you, I see so many like lineups in LA and flyers and none of them have a female comedian on it. And I'm like, really guys, really like at the laugh factory at the comedy store, like all of them. And here every show has a woman on it. And I'm like, really guys really like at the laugh factory at the comedy store, like all of them. And here every show has a woman on it, you know, and just like the way, like, I remember one of the first, I think it, Yannis actually

was one of the first comedians I met to and Chris to Stefano at the stands, like, I was just hanging out there because people were like hanging out at the stand. And I remember them being like, Oh, welcome, you know, and those are people like I respect, like, you know, people like you guys who are like, I met you right away. I think, you know, people that I actually respect. Yes. As comedian to I think are so very talented, you know, who have done great things you guys have. And I remember, you know, them being like, hey, and it wasn't like in LA where they're just trying to bang you. It was like nothing like that. They were just actually here, I'm sure they probably. Oh, yeah.

Well, yes, but they just that being is direct back in particular. They were just like, Hey, welcome. You know, whatever. And then I would see them two weeks later. And they'd be like, Hey, Luciana, like, how's it going? How are you liking New York? Like, what's going on in LA? I can't tell you. There's one comic specifically. I won't name his name, but he is such a piece of shit. Like I met him. He's well known, you guys know he is. And he, I'm sorry, I don't care how funny you are. I've met you seven times.

I've brought you up on stage before we've done the same shows, et cetera, like, and you don't remember meeting me. And I just saw him at the standing room like a couple weeks, like a couple months ago. And he's like, hey, nice to meet you. And I was just like, I you don't remember meeting me. And I just saw him at the standing room like a couple weeks, like a couple months ago. And he's like, hey, nice to meet you. And I was just like, I knew it. Like I saw him and I was like this fucking guy. And sure enough, and somebody would like,

sell the manager of standing room was like, oh yeah, and I was like, I fucking hate that guy. Like I knew he was gonna introduce himself to me again. Even though I'm mad at him like six years ago. We all thought it was first. No, I know what sorry about that. I know what you mean, though. I know what you mean. That's just the difference. They don't give a shit.

People give a shit. And they're just, you know, it's a different community. There is better people. There are more spots here. There are more clubs here. Well, that's what I was going to say. They're fighting over there, you know, and every time they see a new comic, they're like, this person's going to take my spots.

We're here. It's like, hey, no, like there's spots for everyone, you know, one thing I think I think here, you know, and I said this. I've said this to young comics. I remember that that there's a young kid, Cody O'Dell. He's a new comic out here. He's from San Antonio. I saw him work and I go, look, you know, it's like what Chris Rock said, he goes, the matter of it, it's just like to like new comics. Yeah, first thing we're really increasing the rent in our hands in New York City. You've got everybody's got to go to get. No, if I see somebody that I like and I think I see somebody that's funny or can be funny or somebody that's vulnerable and I'm just like, look man, you got it.

If you want to get better, I think this is no disrespect to comics in L.A. When I go out to L.A., yeah, I get up, I'll get up on like, you know, I have some people know me so I could get up on like a weekend at the improv, but other places don't. I'd have to get like either hookups or something. They don't know me out there, but I do notice when I do perform out there and you get real on stage or they're the crowds easy differently. Like I've noticed that they're just like, oh shit, because I don't think they're getting a lot. Now there's definitely monsters out there. Yeah, 100% there's absolute killer. I'm not going to sit here and say, but. And there's a lot of low key killers.

People that don't get the respect, don't have that high level buzz. Right. And I'm like, man, these guys are great. But I think the New York scene, like this is the closest I've seen to like, like a Montreal just for left show where you look at the lineup and you're just like, you know, Saturday night, Friday Saturday night at the stand. Yeah. You know, also when you look at Friday Saturday at the seller

or the stand and you look at, you're just like, New York comedy club. New York comedy club, like all of these great clubs in New York and there's a lot, you look at the comedy juice on a Tuesday. You look at the lineups and it's like, this is fucking, this is like,

it can only get you better. But I agree with you. I don't think people are that, listen, we all have the competitive thing. We all have that. Why the fuck did that person get that I want that? Well, sure, yeah. I mean, to say that that, listen, we all have the competitive thing. We all have that. Why the fuck did that person get that I want that? That's right. To say that that doesn't exist is crazy.

But, and that's a human thing. That's not a geographical or a regional thing. That's a human thing, I think. But I think here it's just like everybody knows everybody's funny and everybody just knows everybody continues to get funnier and you just kind of just hang in like, hey man, you know what we're doing this show tonight. It's gonna be a fucking killer lineup, you know? And I mean, I don't know what it's like out there as far as the people. I have friends that are

out there. Some of my best friends are out now, and they love it, you know? But like you're talking about more established comedians, you know what I mean? Like, you go to like, when you're out there, like banging it out in the clubs where no one's got anything yet, you know, the guys, you know, they've all accomplished. They're all names, you know? Like, and some of them are my friends, too. But like, I'm talking about like your regular comics that people I'm quote unquote competing with, if you will,

that are on my level. You know, you go out there. I was surprised. I expected everyone to be a fucking douche. I just expected, because that's what you think of LA, you know? Especially for those of us from the East Coast, you're like, oh, they're gonna be, they're gonna give me a fucking head shot,

or they're gonna shake my hand and look past me. Oh, that's shit. And I gotta be honest, some of that happened, of course, but like, and that, some of that happens here. Some of the most incredible people, you know? But again, you gotta live out here, if you wanna get some sense of it. But that's also because they know you're coming

from New York and they're like, every comic in LA knows that they can't touch comedy in New York. Yes, you can. And now that I think about it though, the female, the women out there that are doing stand up are really like attractive. Yeah. Now that I'm like thinking about it,

and I'm just like, as I'm going through the places that I've been, I'm like, wait a minute, why the fuck is she doing like that now? Like, yeah, I'm thinking about it, and you planted that seed, and now that I'm thinking about, like I remember being at the improv, I remember walking in,

and it's very like done up like camera ready. Yeah, fuck it. They all look like real housewives. It doesn't look like somebody rolled that a bed and like in the New York scene and walked 10 blocks and goes to do a fucking, yeah. Yeah, you don't know if this person's going to buy

their morning coffee in the cigarette or do comedy in LA, they're done the hell out. The funny thing is I remember there was a female comic, I don't know her name, but she's like a legit eight in New York, you know, probably in LA six or seven. She got on stage and talked about how ugly she was. The body of a model.

Who's this? I don't know her name, but she hosted in New York and the crowd. I am a fucking dog. And you know, from the audience, the audience was like, there were like these three shubby girls from Queens. They couldn't throw more lasers out of their own.

That's the girl. They had this like real fucking, I'm not laughing at a fucking thing you say. And she was just like, oh, and then these pretty girls walk and she's doing this all day. And we're all like, dude, that's you. And nothing is worse than when a female's on stage

talking about how nobody wants to fuck them. And they're fucking attracted. Guys in the audience have their hands up. Like, yeah. Like, yeah. We can talk about it. No, it's so, like, I saw somebody recently in New York and she's like, yeah, and I'm trying to get laid. And I'm just thinking to myself, like, what?

Yeah. You know, not that she's like, but it's like, come on. Like, don't fucking play. I can't get dick-victa. Right. Don't act like people aren't swiping right, or I don't know if that's the good one. Whatever the good one is. People aren't actively swaying. I swear on all of them these swiping right, or I don't know if that's the good one. Whatever the good one is, people aren't actively swiping.

I swip on all of them these days. Yeah, I don't know any of that stuff. I don't like to know. I know, I've been married 10 years, me and you are in the same boat here. So what's one of you? Are you on one? No, I have a boyfriend now.

You have a boyfriend, yeah. Oh, congratulations. Oh, nice. How long? It'll be a year next month. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Nice, nice from New York. He's actually from LA, but we met out here on a swipe situation. Oh, you met on an app? Yeah. Is he in the business or no? No. He's not in the business. Oh, God.

Yeah, I was talking to the honest about that yesterday, we're eating a burger and I'm like, dude, I don't know how you can't like, you know, I don't think you could do it. I don't think I could ever. I couldn't be with another comic. I think God, my wife's not a comedian. Well, no, that's what I'm saying. I think it's a really tough kind of thing

because no matter what, there's gonna be like, if you're like, oh, I'm going out to LA, you know, I'm going out to LA, I just got this show, there's gonna be some sort of resentment. Yeah, like after a while. You're speaking, it's a great, you're honest here, you're honest, pop,, it's a great, Yannis here. Yannis Papis, oh this is great, this is great

because we're just talking about, we're talking about comedians dating comedians and if there is resentment in the business, so I think it's good. I wonder if you know anything about that, Yannis. I mean, I sort of have, you came in at such a good time, it almost looked like we got all right,

cute Yannis, cute Yannis, get him in here. Get him in here, get him in here. Yeah, do you feel what like this deal? Yeah. Yeah, it's such a good time. It almost looks like we got all right. Cuyon. Cuyon is getting in here. Get him in here. Cuyon is doing what like this deal. Yeah. So let me ask you this question. There's resentment in the business even if you're not dating. Yeah.

So what I'm saying is this though, is you're dating a female comic and you happen to like get on a straight first off. Yeah. All right. This might be a stretch for you, but if you're dating a female comic, you're trying it.

Yeah. It's not as you're dating a female comedy, female, yeah, tried it. Yeah. Yeah. It's not as easy as dating a male comedy. No, it will prefer dudes, but yeah. No. So if let's say there's a big show, I'm just for argument's sake, let's say Friday night, midnight show at the stand was like the greatest show that everybody had to

get on, right? Like a JFL fucking show case nuts, right? Yeah. And you lived with a girl and you're dating and one of you get it and the both of you wanted it. Yeah. When you go home that night, did you feel, if that, did you feel a little bit of like attention or resentment when one of you

has got something like that? Or was it, or was it, was it hidden? Or was it hidden? Because it definitely existed, no? Well, festers. It surely got one thing. Everything else she never got so Never

He's a No, this podcast knows Jesus I've dated one comedian yeah Have any of you guys dated comedians? No, I was married before I got in He's been married since he's been since he, since he, since he's been married since he rafted over from Cuba. The plane took me.

She was on the beach waiting for him. No, I was talking about me now. I thought everybody got a white girl when you got here. Kind of in LA, like I went on some dates with some comics, but. You slept with Tom. It works out.

It didn't work out. Yeah. They just got friends owned. It's okay. Okay, yeah. Out. Bang and comics is fun though, you know? It's a great night out.

You guys cracking jokes, you know? Then you bang. A lot of pressure. A lot of pressure. I was like, it would suck to do that. No, it's fun to bang. It's fun to hook up. I mean, is somebody loud?

Yeah, this is so loud. I think he's loud. Bobby's not here, the whole fucking thing falls apart. We got Deepo, that's amazing. I said, some believe in Bobby. Bobby didn't leave the Deepo stick to hit him. Yeah, no, there's two dildos right there. Yeah, you got to hit him with the dildo.

Yeah. Dude, Verzy, look at that dildo, I'm like, I'm touching that. Yeah, first I there's two dildos right? Yeah, you got to hit him with the dildo Versi that dildo was like I am touching that yeah first You got do you got papers for this fucking show man You better not try to go visit your relatives. You mean I make it back in the country at this juncture Really more like deported I remember it Deported

There's name your first special Deported yeah There's name your first C-so special Yeah Cause they're giving them to anybody Oh no There's something nobody else sees Yannis coming in hot

That's the thing you call it Nobody sees those Yeah I heard somebody like I got me centuries in say we're airing your special and then we're hiding it forever You said what is it? Comedy is the best place to hide your special So do you know how many comedians I know I've done hours that nobody knows who the fuck they are like it's almost like a set It's just like someone is set yeah, so listen I want to film it at an open mic like someone is set. So listen, I want to go back to this real quick. So if you hook up, because I never did this, this is far into me.

You know, I don't know this. You know, I've been mad. You're like, yeah, you're grown up with a family and kids. Yeah, you're a legitimate adult. Yeah, like, because I fucking had sex and fucked around it was time to it. That one I'm fucking in my late 30s. Listen, I'm halfway to you.

I just I'm avoiding the kids in the house in the dog. but let me ask you something if you got blown or if you blew Let's just say right a comedian and then see that person the next day on a showcase isn't it like when you're walking the room Is it a little fucking? It's got to be a little fucking weird, right? If you blew a guy The email comics are pretty cool about that shit. I guess yeah unless if you rape them Then they really get get after you on social media Well, no, then they have to then they tell our police force which is UCB. Yeah UCBS

Yeah It's got to be more weird for the woman, no? I just like, I never like took any comedian situation seriously, because I just like, that's what I don't want to do with a comedian, because it's not going to be a good idea for anybody. But yeah, I don't, I mean, I imagine I've seen a lot of disasters from like, about the comedian stating each other. You pointed out you and Jesus. Yeah. I'm subconscious.

I don't know. I see a bunch of things. Yannis is like the one they read in the history books. No, he's the point of reference. The World War II. Oh, fuck. Were you hitting a comedian seriously? Have you heard about Yannis?

Well, everybody talks about 2016 being a bad year, but, you know, you gotta remember that girl code fein kinda died down, so it's a good, that's a positive. That was a silver lining. Started a slide, I think it's fallen. You gotta go to Sherwin Williams and decide what color am I gonna die by now?

Well at that time it was me, Chrissy D. What was this fucking four years ago now? Sounds like it. Yeah, it was me, Chris the D. What was this fucking four years ago now? Sounds like it. Yeah, it was me, Chris, the staff, and Andy Haines. We were all dating girl code chicks. Yeah, he's got no but his. No, no, no, no. Andy was married.

They divorced though. And yeah, no, she cheated on him. They had an open relationship, but I think I heard rumors. I'm not sure if that's positive. But no, she dumped him too after girl code. So the three of us were like, would commiserate. We really bonded.

I bonded with Andy too. We texted each other back and forth, you know. Big Arsenal fan. Yeah. Chrissy D. Quadit. Chrissy D. Every time you bring up soccer, it just, it gets nothing. The rating is, it's Super Bowl week.

I'm gonna listen, I'm fighting so hard. He's trying to throw in any kind of fucking soccer pun Any line and everything is just you have no idea if you knew our audience It wouldn't be a good you would know it's not a good idea. I 've noticed that all these who the fuck is your soccer guy All these audiences for a lot of these like podcasts Don't they seem like they're all kind of O&A kind of spillovers, like you know what dude,

Legion of Skanks, Andy Cumina, it's all like all the fans. Yeah. Whenever you see the people tweeting at the, whatever we've brought up gun control on here, I get like just fucking 20 fuck you. Go debate Cumia, go debate him. Get on Dave Smith's show.

Come on, pussy. Like, some of that. Lot of red votes, lots of that. Islanders, listen to this. Not on all podcasts, I think. No, I'm talking about this like the, you know, like the vocals. The vocal ones are like that.

Yeah, like the Tissie, they're all kind of from ONA. They're all like sort of the spin-offs of ONA for fans, fans, just kind of. All I know is there's always, of the spin-offs of ONA for fans. Fans just kind of- All I know is there's always, there's always no matter what you're doing this business. And you could, it could be great. And you'll get 25 tweets, but there'll be two. There'll be two that you like. Do I go out this guy?

You know, they'll always be like, it'll be like, oh, I loved you on that show. All you did a great day. And you're like, oh yeah. And then it's one person like, what a stupid fucking opinion. Fuck you. And you're're just and it's so fucking over the top and you're just like but then you look at him And they got nine followers. Yeah, you're like what the why would no pro pop picks? Yeah Yeah, I don't realize yeah, a lot of pick looks like a registered sex offended Yeah, and it's always the third pick just one like a blurry guy with a beard and glasses The other two is like a fucking Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Yeah, yeah. Or the guys are really angry. It's a photo of their dad when they were in the army. Yeah, that's fine. It's always like a picture of their like grandpa. That's fun, yeah. Or like an American flag and an eagle as that back picture. The eagle has a gun.

Yeah, shooting up a school. Yeah, that's America. Jesus. But you know what I realized? There's a lot of them. A lot of them, the, shooting up a school. This is America. Jesus. But you know what I realized? There's a lot of them. A lot of the Eagles got a gun. I never heard that one before. God damn it, you didn't fucking arm these Eagles.

So the Eagles, if every Eagle had a gun, terrorism wouldn't be a problem. Oh shit. You know what I've noticed? A lot of them just want you to respond. I've actually, when I've responded, like seriously, like Jesus dude Like what I just asked like why are you fucking there? I was like, hey man. I love you big fan

Just fucking around. I'm like you got a weird way of showing it. Yeah, I don't think my mom's a fan Big fan I don't want your pets dead Yeah, yeah, yeah, I really don't know where you live and I don't have a gun I'm actually just a big fan, but it is hilarious. Comedians are the only ones who cannot fucking resist respond to the one-troll. I think a lot, no, but I do. I do accept, you know, I had a Sandy Hook. But you learn that. Yeah, I had a Sandy Hook guy because I'm doing a shoot and joke and he hit me up and I had to, there was something in me that I had to go back at the guy.

Right. And it wasn't crazy, but no, for the most part, when people go that fucking hard or say something that they don't like, the best thing to do is to not, but you're right. I've went somebody and it's like, hey man, all love, just, you know, it's like, it's like, don't fucking come at me like that. It's like, you gotta work with me.

You gotta work with me that, like that. You gotta work with me as showing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they speak to me. Skippy or skater? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Skater, you shit on each other? They think like, that's how I got to talk to them.

It's like, no, you're not my friend. You got to come out with some reason. Not only we not friends, we're fragile people, okay? No, but we're doing this because we need your approval. We don't do comedy because we don't have a lack of ego and we're going to grandfinger. I'm not standing up on a wood plank for fucking chicken fingers on a Tuesday night. Yeah, because my mom hugged me all the time. Don't you feel that, don't you feel that like that goes away?

Like I feel like now it's not about as much please in them. It's more for me a little bit now. Like I don't feel like it's as much, like if I do it, because I used to be afraid. I used to be afraid and I used to get upset when something didn't work. You know, I remember one time,

a long time, a guy was in South Carolina performing and I looked at a comment card and like this lesbian woman, I was like four years into comedy three years maybe and and I and this She's like how did he win any contest and it was like a light crowd and I just talked to her partner What what contest did you win? It was a fucking like when I was like oh three like a contest to go to like a Vegas comedy festival or something like I was like the only credit I had right oh, you got brought up. Yeah, remember those days when you whatever you're like you heard this guy once

Yeah outside of this serious XM building Right, oh, you got brought up. Yeah, remember those days when you whatever you're like you heard this guy once Outside of the serious XM building Talking to another comic who was going up to be on a show Yeah, like when your first credit was serious and that was it you were psyched you were like like you finally were like I got one I got one to give them. I used to you should Pell show as a credit No, and I was in it in the background. I was a guard credit and I was in it in the background I was a guard The background and Dodd I was like yo, you got a cheat to the camera son. He was like turn out Because I was I was just profiles. He was like I cheated like three ways just so you could kind of see my face Yeah, I'm like way I'm boring. I'm blurry in the background. I'm not even in focus. So you can't even tell it's me

And I got brought up I got brought up as you see the much of pelchio for probably 10 years This guy you see this guy should Bell show he knows Co-creator knows friends of Dave Chappelle He walked in the same sidewalk as Dave Chappelle. You got his makeup done while Dave Chappelle was in the room. I used to work with a kid whose credit was game show network because he was sitting just behind the contestant. No, he was on for most of the half-hour. That's great.

Speaking of the background, I'm like, you're as like as a kid, that's not a credit. Yeah, I'm like, people saw him and I'm like, I guess. So you got to do it at the beginning, you need a credit. No, speaking of Jesse May, she had a funny one. She had a real fun one. We were done talking about it. No, but I just want to bring it up. Speaking of Jesse May, it's going back.

Maybe think of Jesse May, because she, she was on, before we started dating, she was on last comic standing, but she was on the part where they make fun of you. You know, when they show that montage of like, the bombing, and then she used that as a credit for make fun of you. You know, when they show that montage of like bombing, and then she used that as a credit for like, for you.

So there was a period of time when they first did it that like every comic I read into used last comic stand. Yeah, yeah. Because when they used to do that line scape, like they would dial the passive one in the line, they're like credit. And I was like 14 people back. I'm behind the guy holding the two puppets.

No, but do you find, I do find it like, I used to worry what they thought, and if somebody would say something bad, and now it's like, I almost get, I'm behind the guy. Hold on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Spawned that guy the sandy hook one bothered me because I looked at this guy had a good point. I look at real killed You know you got kind of a good point. I mean they were six years old No, I disagree I think I joking. I'm joking. No, I know But I I looked at his page and I just saw like all the fucking pictures and I wanted I

You've been his dead baby son in his arms You Maybe like you you set me up and I'm like I can't fucking finish this I can't finish this part this is part this one we talk about you like this is where fucking all the W You know what dude fans are taking their dicks out and so I'm joking my eye at dead babies in our back now we're back baby Yeah no, but Yeah, I just it was one of those things where I part of me wanted to prove him wrong and also show compassion for what happened So I tried to I was like I could give a double whammy to this guy, you know, and you know what part I was like

I did the joke again the next I want to feel I was like, I could give a double whammy to this guy. You know, and you know what? I was like, I did the joke again. The next day. You want a Henry Field guilty for coming at you. No, well, what I said was I said, if you listened to the joke, if you actually listened to the premise of my joke, you would know that I'm not pro mass shooting, and it was, it's my fucking head, and it's the shit that I'm thinking about.

I said, but you heard a buzz word. You heard a buzz word, and as soon as you heard the buzz word, buzz word because of where you're from, you went. And I said, you got to understand, you're in a comedy venue, and then I said, I'm not an asshole. I said, I'm actually a loving husband and father and you fucking listen to everyone else, no one else had a problem with it.

But it made me feel good for two reasons. Then he called your wife and she's like, ah, he's all right sometimes, yeah. I don't get how that's coming home at three o'clock in the morning. Yeah, the guy checked with your wife. You were smoking sticks, we y'all know his pap is still six in the morning. Wait, you know the roads were bad.

Yeah. At the way from the roads. Wait another road's were bad At the way for the roads That's a three stick that's a three stick ice clean up out there I'm gonna stand up. I think I just got one what time nine song. Oh, I got a nine 10. We got to our stance Smoke on some stuff. Oh listen to this listen to this hold on. Let me do it. All right Lexus is no longer smoking sticks because D works in a hospital and said that it's like smoking 15 Yeah, I can't Wait till wait till next time we get together

Smoke in one hour It's smoke what I might be apologizing to her In the next slide just like I you know it's hangingz, you know, Smell like cigars all the time, yeah, I do, he put his coat over mine I'm like you got to take your coat off my coat this guy smokes cigars. What do you mean Alexis? I had three steps Next guy, I'm into the state. Absolutely hilarious. My favorite thing about him He's like, yeah, look at this guy, I used to speak. I read your next guy coming to the stage. Absolutely hilarious. My favorite thing about him, he's like, yeah, look at this guy, I used to speak. All right, your next comic coming to the stage.

Oh no, I love the first, you know what I'm talking about, right, Black Jikertakes, come on the face. All right, next. We just started the show. How about you, is your pussy look good? Does it pale it open? Did you send that pic? You send your pic wide open?

Like it looks like they're about to do surgery on it Comment to the stage guys your first comedian I go I love how bird will just say the most fucking horrific disgusting and bring you up and I like clockwork He's like yeah, he lives something like this next guy Girl take looks like she takes Black cock. Comment to the stage, everybody. That's what old lady goes, yeah, you're older. You're gonna stay awake. Do you remember the first time you fucked a Black guy? Anyway, comment to the stage.

This guy's absolutely hilarious. I literally did it as we were saying. He said to an old woman, old woman. Black cock. Do you remember the first time you had a Black cock? Yeah, you did. All right, you next guy. You're gonna stay.

You guys like my new baby gators? I got I got him a kids foot locker. You like There's size six kids I'm gonna go outside and smoke a church a negative I've never seen a guy in Joel's smoke is sticking in more hazardous weather Hazard is fucking weather. Like I thought I was bad. I thought I was Canadian. That's the summer from him.

Yeah, guys. I love Berk. He's the best. He's hilarious. He's hilarious. The black cock thing kills it. It's so funny. You took four black cock things.

All right, coming in this stage. You ready, Verzy? He's like, y'all the horn. Here's Verzy, he doesn't even cut it out. He opens the show like that. Who's the dirtiest? Who's first 10, 15 minutes is just like, black cock, black and then you're up there.

You're like, you guys wanna hear about my day? Or, no, you've already been desensitized? Yeah. All right. I guess I'll talk about plowing someone's ass hole open. Yeah, this clever observation. No? All right. All right, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está.

Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está.

Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está.

Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno, ya está. Bueno,ema Madrid. Malinche, guá, Juvenalia, Sir clásica, oro viejo, Crismas by Starlight, Brech y muchos más para disfrutar con familia y amigos, la Navidad cobra vida con Isema Madrid. Entre a Isema.sí compra tu entrada. Isema Madrid, siente la inspiración. Who's the filthiest comic you've ever seen as far as over the top even who Jason Rouse by far? Jason Rouse. Oh, yeah, yeah. I never seen Jason Rouse. I don't know. I know who he is. I never saw him funny Good friend. I mean, I've been friends with Jason. You know, fucking dirtiest ever six. Oh my god. Not even close ever

Ever nobody's even close to him. He makes burgluck like what he Jason. Yeah, Jason is like like what he had case in the air jason is like the best dirty as you can go he's like the filthiest dirtiest you know he's have a big joke about fucking retarded girl that was like his closer he got this is how dirty rouses he did he did down in dirty on hb o in or in the middle of that show

jay and the end of the and he was the only set that didn't make it to air on a down in dirty show on a blue comedy special. I H.B.O. On HBO. Which doesn't matter. They cut his, they cut his... Because it was too much. Because the fucking retarded girl's joke.

You know? No. Yeah, he got it. You know, she'd wake up the next morning and that. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I Like what part of what part of Montreal are you from? Oh my god. We'll put your vise you're down on your helmet sweetheart. I never saw him. Not on your shirt. You'll never leave me. I took the wheels off her chair.

I mean, it was funny as fuck, but you know, Jesus. Oh, he went in. Oh yeah, he goes in all the time. Yeah. I hope the guy who was mad at your mass shooting joke is listening to that and is just preparing another. Rouse, like he has made me laugh the hardest though.

Like of some, like when I think back at comedians that I've watched, I remember he took me on tour in Canada, you know, he's big in Canada. He's, you know, and what he used to do is he used to after a set, he'd go get naked in the back and then just come out and start running around the audience. Like what is Dick and Balls talking to his legs being like I dropped a drop the jaw breaker you know you bending over right and people be screeching you just I beat it was I was laughing so hard to hurt like yeah you used to climb over people get on the tables naked yeah naked and then get up on stage and say just like the funny did anyone just anyone know I can catch the

bus you know just fucking completely but naked. What, he drunk? No, no, he's just having fun, you know. He's just wild. He's just having fun. That's just, he just put your dick on a crout. He's just, he's just, he's just having fun. It's fun. I mean, when you're a comic, you know,

and you're, you know, comics, we don't laugh at normal shit, you know, we do, it takes so much. We're broken. Yeah, I used to have this idea for a sketch that there was like this clown for comedians that we'd all go privately see and like fucking kill puppies and stuff and the only thing that could make us a little smile you know because we're so

dead and jaded inside from watching comedy all the time so he actually did it on a Swedish TV special and the cops came somebody called the cops wait what are you doing he climb no no he didn't kill puppies no uh, he climbed, they started climbing on the audience. He got off stage and started climbing the audience naked. And like somebody called the cops in Sweden. Yeah, but you don't want something to flop. No, you don't fucking hit your shoulder. You can do it.

But that's kind of, you know, that's kind of the fun of it. You know, people don't want it. They don't even know what a job breaker is. They're all just kidding. Yeah, it's different. Give them a job breaker. Do you want, did you have some new stuff that we could do? We could cover, we could go through some new stories if you want.

We can talk about, who's in the chat rooms? Well, a lot of people want to see the ton of takeer top off, so I figured, let's not talk. I can gentlemen in there. Yeah, a lot of respectful individuals. One guy did want to say that there are plenty of fans that are not directly from that ONA group. Yeah, where are they from? Yeah, we

should have them let us know. The Mississippi River area. The alt-right website. But he wants to say we're not all conservative ONA fans. You're right. I know. I'm, you know, I'm a nice people. I use hyperbole. Yeah, I Take it literal the first thing you said was everyone You know, just can you tell the broad to pull out her tips? Not you know, we're good caring people. I'm jerking off into a tissue I don't know when they said that ever Ever Lex is like, well, what do they want? I mean, we should listen to that.

I mean, I'm gonna appreciate what I can see on the web cam as far as the cleavage go, but if she can pull out some nips great, then we appreciate it. But other than that, we're great guys, you know, we're not. Her nudge to meeting boyfriend is gonna lay going blind. Yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah, this is a podcast where you definitely get into a fight with your boyfriend after a long time.

I thought I was safe. I was gonna do a podcast with two Mary dudes and a guy who was a girlfriend. Yeah. Does your boyfriend do watch your sets or watch? Yeah. Well, the first time I met him, we met on Bumble and then he was coming to my show. He was like, when you're next show? And I was like, tomorrow, he's like, I'm coming. And I was like, okay, whatever.

So I ended up having food poisoning that day. It's my show that I produce at the standing room called Fuck Mary Kyl. Nice plug, nice plug, like that. When it's on Wednesday, February 8th, if anyone wants to come. So he shows and it was like, Jay Farrow was doing it, doing my show

and it was like oversold out and forever. And so I was like, I have to go. Is he really Jay Farrowrow, was it Denzel? It was actually, Denzel and Jay-Z. It was actually Michael Chase, but no, Jay is a friend of mine. So I was like, I can't like not show up to my own show if he's doing the show as a favor to me. So I was like throwing up all day, it was awful,

but I didn't even, I didn't think, right. I like literally peeled myself out of bed and my co-producer Walker Hayes, she had to start the show. I was like, I'm going to be late. I have to stop and get like, gatorade and pdl and something. And take a few shits as well. Take. I might have to stop and shut my pants. Listen Walker, I'm pissing out of my asshole, running a little late. So I there, and I saw him right away. Like I recognized him, and his arm was in a sling. He just had shoulder surgery.

I was like, oh, this is a great match. Like you're crippled. Sorry, I'm shitting my ass. I'm shitting my ass. Sorry, I'm shitting my ass. Sorry, I'm shitting my ass. I'm shitting my ass. Boom, balled in love right after that line.

No, so I hurt my shoulder. I'm gonna go up. The shoulder I was caught. I was cranking the bird too much. So you're five minutes out on YouTube. I'm gonna go up. Soldier, I was cold. I was cranking the bird too much. So you're five minutes out on YouTube. You're gonna go up because I was like, I was so sick. And then I went on stage like that. I ended up closing the show because I started feeling better

and I'm kind of dirty. So I was talking about how I don't sleep with black guys and also talking about all these dirty, dick jokes. I'm not saying that's a good thing. So I get off stage. Definitely not about that. Well, I'm just saying that because he's in the audience. It's not even on your mouth.

That's what everyone know. I don't fuck black guys. I think I think that's the only reason he was like, okay, with my material. Because he's like, oh, he's like, what a whore. But oh, okay, she's never been able to black guy. That's right. I can do that.

Hold some girl. What is this? What is this? What is this? No, he's he's Irish white Irish. Yeah, so I get off stage and I was like hey, you know talking to him And he's like this is my mom Peggy. Oh, your mom was his mom was mom was there you were like and I was like That's a fucking You never had a black car car. Yeah, wait a second She's like you never had a black car Yeah, wait a second. Oh, you never had that

All about one second this is what I gotta tell you this is fucking interesting So this is the is this so he brought his mom brought his mom to meet me for the first time to my comedy show And he ambushed you with the mom. He didn't tell you the mom No, I didn't even let you any only met you one time before this This is the first time we're meeting. Yeah So you had an interaction with them. Oh, I know you're gonna say that you haven't seen how big he is I never met him. This is the first time we're meeting. This guy's a murderer. Wow. Wait a minute, but what's the first? I thought you had an interaction with him. Oh, I'm not. You're gonna say that you haven't seen how big he is?

You can fucking beg. He's a big. He's a big. He's Irish. I'm calling him a real man. That was Alexis Guerrero, I was that called him a nerd. I didn't call him a nerd. I said he's a murderer.

Oh, murderer. I'm murdering him. I'm murdering him. I'm murdering him. I'm not gonna murder him. That's serious. Yeah. Well, I mean, it worked because she was like 85% the reason that I even decided to go out with them

Cuz I didn't really talk to him. I talked to her the whole time That is the most Irish thing you could do. We were like best friends. I really liked your fucking show I like that part where you're getting fucked by all those guys It was so great You can't fuck with her to the shit my son He never gets lady still lives at home What you fuck up or something if you eat her pussy Send white your chin up. She's been shit. Can you bring us another couple of bears? I met my son's wife here

I showed you she's gonna fucking brains out Men she was like Oh, she's a fucking Mexican girl over here. She's gonna fuck shame us fucking braids out Wait till I call my sister Peggy We fucking matter He's just there pushing pushing his back into you while you're fucking come on Got her. Yeah, fucking not doing it hard enough. Oh my god, dude. We'll bring you up to the other name you fucker. I mean pretty much she was I'm not gonna say his name. Oh, I mean everybody

I just go on Facebook and see what his name is but What was I gonna say no she was like I she, after that was like, that's like the coolest girl you've ever brought around. Like, don't let her go. And I was like dying of like food poisoning and I was like a Nicholas Sporks movie. I know, right? Don't let her go, whatever you do. I want mom.

So you hit it off with the mother that early that with the first time? That's crazy. That's crazy. He knows it. I tell him like, she's 85% the reason I even decided to go on a date with you. Did she mention anything about your act?

Why was she like, I love it. Well, when I first, when I was like, I like that part when you said that clean work is. It's a big derivative. I mean, she's like, oh, she was like, you're not, she's like, you're not allowed to hang out with my son. And I was like, she's like, I'm just kidding, you were so funny.

Oh nice. But I also don't even know what I said, because I was so delirious. Yeah. I did a couple of jokes, and then I just made stuff. How long did you hang with Dema after the show? That day. It's so funny, because I had a bunch of friends there,

and I was like, oh, I got to go talk to my new family. I'll see you guys later. And so I taught, like, they were drinking. I was not. And then she was like, can we take you home? Like can we give you right home? So I was like, yeah, so I'm like sitting in the cab between him and her and She did you have to shit the whole time was you we got the bubble under control You just started getting pale and green trying to listen like

I think you just started getting pale and green trying to listen like No, but then I remember like sitting in the cab and she was I don't even we were talking about like Kids like being a parent or whatever and she was right. She was like one day you guys will have kid like she wouldn't say like us together But she was just saying like one day you guys will be parents and you'll know like and I was thinking I don't even know if I'm gonna go out with this guy like was that's heavy early they put it on you early too much I know it was good I mean no he yeah he came on a little strong after that but well then he thought I didn't I only agreed so then they dropped themselves off first and the lady was she was like can you you know take her home so um the lady his mom So then he was like, so can I take you out sometime? And I'm like sitting there between him and his mom.

I was like, yeah, he's like, he hands me his phone to put my number in there. And I'm just like, I've never given someone my number in front of their mom before. So he thought like he was thinking like, oh, and his mom. You were thinking because the mom was there? Yes, but it was not true.

And then his mom was like, the next day was St. Patrick's Day and I was like guess bartending at this bar on the Lower East Side. She's like, we're coming. And he was like, I can't. I just had shoulder surgery. She's like, no, dad and I are coming. You don't have to come. And then he called me on Friday,

because I was doing J.J. was headlining. J. Ferra was headlining Caroline's and I was on the show. And she wanted to come. He's like, my mom wants to come. Like she wants to bring, but it was sold out. She couldn't come, but she, yeah, she really like, what kind of social life just mother has? She's showing up. She's a better relationship with this guy's mom than I do with my own. She's the best. She's the best. She is, like, she She is, she's like. We should have, where are you at? I'm hanging out with your mom. We get hammered down here on Bleeker. Yeah.

Your mom's buying a blow up of this. This guy with the ponytail. Just did a couple bumps. Yeah, take it easy. No, we like to. We got into town, we like hang out. And she's like, she's so cool. She'll be like, I love bars.

I just really do. I love bars. She's awesome. It's like Greeks with diners. We can't. When I go, me and Janice went out for a coffee in a diner. We just got into peace. We just felt peace.

We just felt peace. You're just looking around. You smell it. It's like it's in our drinking coffee. I feel like it's a fat guy. I get to be honorary. Because I like this. I feel like that pizza really is anything.

Jiro spots. You got to get a burger guy. I feel warm when I smell meat. Look, that is very true. I feel warm. I just don't if deep who told me like it's a great I am not skinny. I got some pudge going on. No, yeah, the fuck out of you. Well, I'm not like y'all. I'm not Alexis Alexis tells me there's good food somewhere. You know, it's good. Yannis was a tough nut to crack though, with me talking about food, Yannis.

Like, I'm not so sure. Like a year later, Yannis, like, all right, now I respect it. Have you seen? Well, we had a disagreement over it. Pictures of food? I'm like, I want all of that. Where is it? He's like, oh, it's gonna be fucking.

I love pizza too. I love it. You constantly post. I love it. You put a lot of fucking red pepper flakes on your pizza. I know, I'm crazy. She drowned. I believe crazy. She's round. She's from fucking chili. I'm just through the thing and I sprinkle it like that. She's not being okay. Oh, look at me.

There's the racist Jesus Christ. That chili is Mexican. Oh, I love you. I'm just kidding. Also, just chalines don't really eat that much spicy food. It's, you know, just because of the word. Yeah. Actually, Cuban's don't eat that much spicy food. No, not at all because of the word. Yeah. Actually, Cuban's don't eat that much spicy food. No, not at all.

I just do. I went to Cuban food in Miami and I was like, can I have some hot sauce? They're like, yeah, they hand me to basketball. I was like, fuck this place, where am I? Yeah, that's water, yeah. How dare you? How dare you?

I'm looking for some in-house back of the kitchen. Yeah. You got it. If you go to a real Havana spot, the guy on Edelpepper sauce, which is incredible. I love that when Spanish people do that. Have a real. That's what the Italians do, don't we go to the Muta del Havana?

We gotta try to fuck it up. You also, they're not saying any of it right. They're like, Muta, I'm like, you're not, I get it, but I don't go and be like, hey, can I have a burrito? I'm being fucking saying chicken. A lot of Latin people do though. They do that. They have a burrito. Yeah, when they don't speak the English language properly, you know, with accent.

My wife actually, first time I met her when we started dating, we went to a deli, I went to get a speech. On the beach in Miami. And she goes when she, I washed her shore. She goes, she goes, it's mozzarella. And I go, no, there's a fucking A at the end. It's Mutsarell. And I said, I was like, Mutsarell,

as I said it the way you say it, she's like, no, it's Mutsarell. Dude, a year later she's cheating off of me in Italian class in college. And I'm like, yeah. Why the fuck would you ever yell at me to tell you that? You don't even know how to speak your own language. I asked her uncle, they say,

Gaba Gull, I go spell Gaba Gull for me. They're like, G-E-A, I'm like, you idiot, it's Capricola. I was like, you don't even know what the fuck you're saying. They just watch an episode of the Spurnout. They soak it in and they become that. Her uncle's reaction, pretty good. They're like, big pussy-cold at gaba goal, yeah. You want to, let's do some of those stories.

I want to talk about the story here. This is an interesting one. You know what? I just want to say quickly about the times you modify, say, is Italians fucking, happy and stereotyped is like, mobsters and stuff like that. Well, how about every time I

Walk into an Italian restaurant. You don't got the fucking cast of every mob movie up there The happy and stereotyped so much. How come you got fucking Christopher from those sopranos with every waiter in the joint You guys so many mob movie fucking photos in the place like they don't stereotype It's like how about you guys calm down with how you don't want handry how you don't andry that's my favorite fucking try to make this party Hendry I don't a lot of fucking favors for you Because you brought you to time What do we got boy scouts, let's do this one. Yes, so that was a big story.

The camera yesterday, boy Scouts will now allow transgender children to join the organization. Any child that identifies as a boy. So yeah, if you fill out the application with the gender male, you're in for Boy Scouts of America. Boy Scouts. Even if they haven't had like reassignment surgery uh... yes even pre-op

if you identify i don't know what's reassignment surgery that's when they swap pieces don't say or if they just are taken hormone pieces wait a minute though what do you mean they were pulled all of us not a fucking car no they don't get a new replacement you know they take out the they legit they take out the undercars

they actually turn your dick and they turn your dick and sit down turn it into a bus so you can stop not getting so you still get if you get They take out the on the couch. They actually turn your dick inside out. They turn your dick inside out and turn it into a pus. So you can stop. I'm not kidding. So you still get, if you get down there, I get like, jerking off. Wait, they do the other way around. They don't do anything.

Wait a minute, what do you mean? Take testosterone, you click, grows out a little bit. So what? Yeah. So wait a minute. They take the dick and they fold it in. Not all transgender people do that. A lot of them are called pre-op.

So what they do is they just take hormones. And they if you've been if you've been taken hormones Why do you know so much about this because I had to play I play a character that's that and so I know everything bottom Marisa right that's right. Well, what am I research do the marisa? Marisa's pre-out. She's still got the day She loves it. She likes to get into sword fights that's it She still got the day. She loves it. She likes to get into sword fights. That's it. I'm not trying to have no calamari, not even on me. I'm not attracted to that shit. So you learned everything about it. I know everything about it. You learned everything about it because of the cat Which is very responsible thing. It's a very responsible thing. Do you know? I'm sure anything about the island of Puerto Rico Did you study? I know that it's fucking crowded. Yeah, yeah

The old showrunner on my show infusion was from Puerto Rican. They just fucking crowded. Yeah, yeah, the old showrunner in my show infusion was from Puerto Rican so just fucking crowded. Yeah, a lot of people. No one's in the mountains. Yeah, so do boy scouts like have to change in front of you just got what's the issue with it? I don't like what was that you used to do that back when I was a boy. I love I just want I just want you to tell Versio this guy. I love watching an Italian from the onkers. Yeah, struggle with this. I'm a little confused Italian from the onkers yeah, struggle with this I'm a little confused A second here, let me get this fucking straight. They turn you think it's right So the kid is born a boy And it should be called the what the fuck's the world coming to it doesn't make sense

It's like calling a salami sandwich a slice of pizza. Just not Italian say I'm a little confused I don't know On this I'm a little My dad does that my dad's a lumbar I got one more. No, they're just trying to politely say like they did the fuck out of here with that shit It's a polite like that my dad will say you know I saw something on TV. I'm a little Just like no, you didn't like what the fuck you saw I was watching his TV showing in the white act though. He was kissing the bar. I just I woke confused

showing in the white act though he was kissing the bar. I just so won't confuse. I was gonna send it a wrong message. No, I mean look, I'm not saying, look, I'm not saying, I'm just saying, you know, I mean, you see, we need to stick together. I mean, you know, you're saying stuff bad thing. I wasn't raised that way. That's all I'm saying.

That's all I'm saying. What's the problem? So what happened was, I'm not saying they can't stay in the wrong neighborhoods. I mean, that's fine, you know? I just say, don't cross over. So say, don't come across the pit there, you know? I mean, why would they wanna come over here anyway? You know what, I mean, we're gonna, you know, I just say don't cross over there. They'll come across the pit there, you know, I mean, why would they want to come over here anyway? You know, I mean, we're gonna hit him with a back. So why would you want to come over here?

So the the kids mom actually sent him to him to the the boy scouts and didn't tell anybody that the kid had female genitalia and I and she got a call one day from the boy scouts and they just said hey listen I guess there was an incident which no one ever talked about no one ever explained but somehow they found out that she had female genitalia which is another weird part of it. Right when the camp counselor tried to rape her and I was like, I don't like these parts. Yeah, I was a little thick. Yeah, that's what I mean it's for.

Take the kid in a wood for a little fun He sends a bag Under cook steak I was so wrong this one this boy's no good this boy's no good Says it's a boy lie to me how am I supposed to jerk it off? Yeah, I can't Yeah, I can't so good If you're reading the book, No, my lessons not like a US- I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused.

I'm a little confused. Usually the dick comes out. You know, this is the thirendaiest dick I ever seen. So what, so okay. So there was a lawsuit after that incident because they tried to take the kid out. She sued the boy scouts and she has won. Everyone's kind of just addressing,

every organization is dressing their political views through these small actions. Right. Nowadays, like now we have a Starbucks, you know, they said they're gonna hire 10,000 refugees and now people are boycotting Starbucks because people don't want to support that point of view. So it's interesting.

So, Michael, okay, I got it. So it's little things, little cases that represent everything's becoming politicized. Yeah, got, I got it. So, it's little things, little cases that represent everything's becoming politicized. Yeah, gotcha, gotcha. Well, the thing about the kid with the, in the boy scouts, is, it was, I don't understand. It feels like a boy, it acts like a boy, it's a boy, is that, you know, it doesn't feel like a boy in this case.

We know, I mean, no, it does feel like a boy. The only, what's it feel like? Like, look, the kid was born as a boy, you know? Like, the kid's born as a boy. Born as a girl. Oh, it does look like a boy. The only, what's the count? What's the feel like? Like look, the kid was born as a boy, you know? Like the kid's born as a boy. Born as a girl. Oh, she's born as a boy. She's always born as a girl. Okay, so she feels like she's a boy, you know?

Brain is different, you know? Danish scientists have done studies on this. The brains are different. They light up different, more empathy, more kind of a female brain. The kid feels like she's, you know, she's a boy. The only thing that makes us boys, and what makes us girls is just fucking

either testosterone resturgent, which we both have in us. So there's some girls, you know how they're like a little masculine, is a higher testosterone. You remember that chick from Connecticut? Or Brittany, the chick in the WMBAs, you got a fucking Adam's apple.

Yeah, Brittany Griner. Brita Griner, you know, she's a girl, but you know, it's just these people have a hard time with the blurring of lines. No, that's not your fucking business. No, that girl is a good boy. The girl's not gonna do it in your kid, right? If this happens in like, let's say,

Park's little Brooklyn something, nobody has a fucking problem with it. It's just because everyone's accepting. It's just these areas where people are in use to something. So they fucking, what the fuck is it? It keeps just fucking. I love how Janus prefaced it. So they fucking, what the fuck is it? It keeps just fucking. I love how Janice prefaced it.

We're like, yeah, it is Danish scientists. Yeah, it is. And he always knows how to set it. And they've done autopsy on transgender people's brains. I'll see them differently. They've also done cat scans. You know, they know everything about how your brain lights up. I mean, that's how they know when certain people are psychopaths.

You know, they do. Or like, seriously. They have a brain quality. Yeah, it's different your brain lights up. I mean, that's how they know when certain people are psychopaths, you know, they have a serious ability to get the brain. Yeah, it's different qualities that light up and the transgender brains are 100% of the time different than straight male, J.M. talking about, you know, male to woman, pre-op or post-op transgender. It's always different male, you know.

I'm sure if you look at a gay guy's brain, it's different than, you know. But what if this is dreaming about cock all the time? You know, lights up, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. What? Oh my God, that's gotta be, you guys gotta have that on a fuck yeah. That's gotta be a drop in.

Yeah, that's a cock, cock, cock, cock. That's the name of the episode. Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. You know what dude? Sorry, sir. Look, people say it's unnatural. It's like, well then fix in someone's hearts unnatural. Well then, you know, given someone cancer surgeries

in natural, the list could go on and on. There's no such thing as unnatural. Everything is unnatural. No, no, no, no such thing as natural. There's no such thing as unnatural. All of it in natural. Everything is in nature. Right.

Okay, if you're given the chem, if you start taking estrogen, you grow tits, you become a chick, you just don't have a plus, but you still can be hot with a dick. And you know, you know, you don't mind jerk off to it. I'm like, I'm like, that's how I did, my best.

If this girl though was hanging out with these boys, and they're like starting to come into puberty, and they just start talking about that shit, I mean, that seems like that would be a... She already don't think and act like a girl, so for her, she'd be like, yeah, I think it's more of an issue for her because, you know, I mean, I don't want to think that the boy scouts are going to bully their fellow boy girl scout,

but you never know. You know what I mean? Like because people like to bully someone that's different. So that that's, yeah, but that's going to happen anyway. How old? I know, but I'm just saying like that's, mean if she he she she she wants to go through that I don't know. I just don't like the hypocrisy, you know, it's like yeah, it's like is this America? Or is it not right or is it you're what is free to mean to you right so it means you can do the things that you want Right as long as they don't hurt anybody else, but other people can't do what they want because it's making you uncomfortable or something. Go if you don't like it, fine. I'm not saying you can't like it. But you know, you can't fucking try to hurt somebody or protest the place or call it immoral. Who the fuck are you? Maybe you're a moron. I mean, you know, what are you doing?

Yeah. Everyone, go to another one then. You cannot like it if you don't want, but you can't infringe your encroach on somebody else's freedoms or what they wanna do. That's what America's about. I just hate that hypocrisy. Like, we're for freedom! Except, no, this, that, the other thing. Here's a list of 1,000 things that we're against. Yeah.

Yes. Fucking freedom, dude. I would feel it would be hard for the girl. I would feel like for the girl to wanna be in that, that would be really fucking weird. The heart. Who the fuck are we to stop a girl from doing something? Right.

But that's the like, great. She wants to be a. But that's like, right, that's not my her. She wants to be a boy. No, that's great, just to protect her. It's like, dude, when I was a kid, like, you know, there were bullies, there were gang members. My mother was in like, don't walk this street. You know what I mean? It's like, you gotta be able to survive in this world.

So go learn. If this kid wants to be a boy scout, as she feels she's a boy, look, it ain't gonna be easy for your kid, get out there and fucking learn how to make a fire. Yeah, okay.'t gonna be easy for you kid. Get out there and fucking learn how to make a fire. Yeah, okay. The universe doesn't give a fuck. No.

Doesn't give a fuck. Everyone needs to calm the fuck down. All right, your fun is growing on a rock, floating in nothingness. See, the problem is vast. People that believe they're gonna be judged for it when they die. Well, you know, get rid of that seventh century, fucking seventh century nonsense.

I agree. You know, those are the same people who hate Muslims for believing all that dumb shit. So you believe dumb shit too. Now the issue is, there is an issue. Right, that's a good point. Yeah, because it's both sides. Yeah, you believe it in a 7th century shit. It's like a guy in church laughing at science.

You believe that the fucking you do it. You think there was Adam and Eve and a woman was made of a rib out of a man and you think the world is, you know, there's no dinosaurs. You're like, yeah, just start the business. I think it's different science. We're fucking just start them. But I think it's different. We're fucking apes. Okay, I think it's different with Scientology. I do. I do think it is.

I hear how I think it's different. Because, because at least with a God, right? And it's just my opinion, but at least with a God, it's something mythical that we don't know and that we can't see. Okay, Elron Hubbard wrote a fucking comic book. You know, like at least there's a not different dude. It's it believes in aliens. There's a I bet you there's a huge

chance. We'll know that there's aliens someday. There is a God. Yeah, but also he wrote a book. We know who wrote it. Who wrote the Bible? It's a collection of stories. People used to tell to each other. They never nobody wrote anything down for 300 years. Have you guys seen this thing that Leah remains? What this chick is doing? Yeah. Have you watched what they do? I'm very proud of her. But I want to say this amazing, what she's doing. The comment out of this. I want to say this about the transgender people.

There is the issue, and I understand this issue, and it's a parent struggle with it. It's like, at what age do you determine that this kid knows that he what he wants, what he or she wants to do. You know, because a lot of these kids do regret it. That does happen. Wait, what do you mean? Like if you're a seven year old kid,

and you're like, I feel like I'm a boy, I wanna be a boy, I identify as a boy that's just how I'm built. She's a girl, but once you're a boy. She wants me a boy. She wants me a boy, I'm transgendered, you know, and you're a parent, you're going like, am I gonna let this kid,

because this stuff is irreversible. You know, it's irreversible. You start taking hormones and stuff like that. It's irreversible. It does things to your body that are irreversible. So this is such a huge decision of such unbelievable magnitude to let a seven year old decide.

Because what does happen, a lot of these kids do it and then they end up regretting it and they say, you know, I wish I would have waited a little bit because my feelings changed. Did you see the thing of Ruby Rose from Orange is the new black? No. She's, she said that she felt like she was a boy, but she never had the surgery. And she's glad because now she's like, I want to have kids.

Like, I'm so glad I'd never had that. No, that'd be tough to slap on tits and then not want them. And it happened. And that does happen. Yeah. And then not want them. You could do that with pizza. I feel like if a guy got his sedatives in any way,

he'd probably be like, oh, that's good. But you can't make any sexual moves like then till your 18 anyway, right? No, no, that's not depends. No, you can do it. If you're parents, you give a seven year old for it.

If your parents are demanding it, like your parent, the parents, yeah, there's a girl who has a reality show. I forgot, like a young girl, I forgot the name, but she has like a reality show. I forgot, like a young girl. I forgot the name, but she has like a reality show about her transition. I think frontline or 60 minutes or I can't really remember where. Dude, that's almost criminal.

You can't give a seven year old fuckish. Well, that's great issue. My mother didn't let me pick a menu item. For a restaurant in a sentence. Yeah, you can't be, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to dick. I don't want to dick.

All right, we'll go to the doctor on Monday. We'll take care of it. But I'll tell you what you eat for dinner. But you are having mac and cheese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want to dick. I don't want to dick. All right, we'll go to the doctor on Monday. We'll take care of you. But I'll tell you what you eat for dinner. But you are having mac and cheese. Yeah, you know that chicken. All your vegetables. And then you eat all that chicken, we'll take your dick off. Yeah.

But not until you eat all that. I think they should wait. I think they should wait. But then on the flip side, if they start early, then you re, that's the, but then on the flip side, I understand because if you really want to be a girl, you start early before, because they do testosterone suppression.

So you basically become a girl. I mean, you could not tell. The earlier you start, nobody in this room would be able to tell because it's basically a girl. There's a real tits, there's a real feminine figure, high voice, you know, she's a girl, except she has, she's a girl. Everything about her is a girl, except.

Except like hands, feet, and like, atoms, apples. Oh, not necessarily, because if you're taking the estrogen from that early, your body develop, you don't develop as a man, you develop as a girl. Because that's the only thing that's the only thing that makes us girl or boy is those two chemicals, testosterone estrogen. Have you gotten a handy from a tranny?

Transitual. No, but I would, Yeah, she's hot. You said something that I still think I still quote. Yeah. That if you got tricked, do you remember this? Well, if you got tricked by a girl, if you were fucking someone from the I wouldn't stop it. If I was attracted to the person, you'd reach around and feel dick. What do you want? Oh, yeah, that's a good joke, actually. That was fucking great.

You know what you said? Yeah, I said I'd reach around and just pretend like I pop through to the other side. It was his own face. I was like, it was his own dick. He was so big he went through and he's like, I just pretend I'm like, I'm falling. Yeah, that's funny. I do that burn itself in my brain. I'm like, that is so funny. I was so big dude, just pretend like I popped through to the other side.

It actually felt like my dick's that big, that it came out to the other side. Look, I'm a straight man. I love women too much. It's, you know, I just like, I'm a straight man. I love women too much. It's, I'm like very heteroso. I would consider everyone's kind of on a scale. I'm tortured by how beautiful women are. It's just always a thought in my mind. If I was a Roman emperor, it would just be bad.

It would now just be bad. It would be bad. It would be bad. would just be bad. It would now just be bad. Yeah, I'd just be like, it would be bad. And I just, bad. And, you know. Sit down with scenes, kids. Yeah, it's like, if you, if I'm attracted to you because you have all, I'm attracted to femininity. So if you embody femininity, like, just like a girl,

and I can't see what's in your fucking under your dress or your pants or whatever, I'm gonna be attracted. If I see a dick, am I gonna go, whoa, whoa, I'm just gonna, well guess what, I'm doing something different tonight, you know? Yeah, but I feel like I'm looking my own dick all the time.

I don't know, if I got a sandwich, I'm like, oh, this is tofu, I wouldn't eat it, you know what I mean? No, but I've looked at my dick, right? And I've admired my dick, you know? Sometimes I look at my dick, not a lot. Because you got a big dick. You said you got a big dick. No, but if I, if I sell my dick, right, again, I'm going in the chat.

How hilarious would it be fucking seeing Virzy Negi with a big dick? He's just drunk. Just 5-8 walking around, a little gut hanging out, just big fucking mule off to the right. We're giving our seats back. Off to the right, we keep shipping that. Yeah, but I feel like if you see that dick,

if you're own dick, it's different. If you see, if you're messing around and you think it's different. If you see it, if you're messing around and you think it's a woman and a dick popped out, you know. A limp dick's ugly, but a hard one is kinda. Oh, I do a bit on a limp dick, because the ugly is dick. Yeah, so ugly is fucking dick. But I'm saying, if you heart dick's kinda like,

it's a little aggressive on heart. I don't think I wanna see a heart. You know, here's the deal. You don't want it. I don't want a heart dick near me, no. You never have a soft dick. You, no. You rather have a soft dick here. I wouldn't want any dick if I had to. Well, right, want a hard dick near me now. You never have a double team to grow. You no you'd rather have a soft dick

I wouldn't want any dick if I had to right but so if they tells me this guy's not ready for action I think I'm a little safe Hard to get like it happened to shade Yeah, that makes it to me. It's just a sex But if you if you were making out with the girl that you thought was attractive You were trying to hook up and then she got you felt on a pants and you were thinking you're gonna rub you know You're gonna rubber, you know and you could say it were on a pocket. Yeah, yeah And it was a dick and I was like yeah, I'm sorry, but the night ends right now

I'm saying how hard on it's got to go down at that. Yeah Yeah, you got at least get you get soft again. You think in theory it would but you know communism also is a great theory Doesn't work in reality my or actually. mean his hard yes his oh this is a really fucking weird no his day everybody just like this my deal is almost like a standoff here's the deal here's the fact I know who's the data I'm not saying like get away from me I'm not gay I'm just like this isn't what I sign up and that's fine hey I mean that's the way you want to fight I don't know if I believe it 100% for the people who say it generally. I think people are scared of it and they say,

fuck, and I think if they were in that situation with a hot ass fucking transgender girl, but then she said, no. So we the hot. That's fun. That could be fun. But here's the reality. Here's the reality.

Transgender porn is like the third most watched porn. That's because the people don't know what else kind of porn to watch. I also think, really? I also think it's that guy you were talking about who doesn't know what. I've never watched the one. I was like, well, I guess I'm gonna see

the whole thing right here. It's the third most watched porn. So there's a lot of guys, and they're all straight guys. They're all straight guys that identify. You ask a gay guy if he likes a transgendered person, 100% of them go, yeah. But it makes sense percent of them, but it makes sense that it's third It makes sense that it's third because you have head row then you have then you have gay Well, you got lesbian. Oh, you got a lot of kind of stuff

You got like lesbian Gender probably appeals to other people like maybe gay people. No, it doesn't but it does not Yep, it does not you say we're learning today ask Ask a gay guy. You're saying that it's a track. Go ask it. It's only attractive to straight males. Yeah.

Or maybe I've proved that. Yeah. Or maybe I've proved that. Ask him. Just ask him. How can you prove that only straight men are going to train? Because that is everyone on the message for. You know how many straight guys or how many guys I know that my gay male friends have hooked

up with who are straight guys? Well, that's gay to me. I don't ever want to talk about a guy like a fucking straight, hairy leg. Oh, that's right. Oh, you see? No, I got a big tits. That's what I'm saying though.

But that's ignorant. That's ignorant. Call them when you just say it. That's what I'm saying. That's ignorant. It's true that it's only straight guys that are interested in this. Yes.

That's something straight guys that have hooked up with my guy gay, gay, gay, gay, guy friends. Right. If they consider themselves straight, I guess they're straight. But then they're not straight then exactly exactly but according to Thomas Dale then they're straight that's the only guys he's

attracted to straight guys and they do that they have a kink on the side but that means they're not a hundred percent heterosexual well that's right I mean is anyone a hundred percent heterosexual then how did ancient Greece happen what happens in jail is that is everyone a hundred percent heterosexual then how did ancient Greece happen? What happens in jail? Is everyone a hundred percent heterosexual? I mean, I think, you know, I think I have to say, I think Greece, I think we all know. You know, I mean, it's not just Greece.

Yeah, no, sure. Happened in the Ottoman Empire, the Roman Empire. Happened in every, Hebrans everywhere. Look, look, you know, I remember, I remember, I'll give you an example. I remember I was in most- No, because I can look at a man ago, that's an attractive guy, but I don't want any part of, but I remember, I'll give you an example, I remember I was in the mall once, right?

I was in the mall around Christmas time years ago, and I never figured, I just saw this girl's figure, and I'm not even joking, I was like 18, 19, and this girl's figure was like, I couldn't believe, it was everything, the curve, and the ass was coming out of the yoga pants, and my dick just jolted. No, my dick jolted. My dick just pulsated.

My dick just pulsated. It just instinctively. I didn't try. I didn't do anything. My dick just was like, whoa, you know? And then if I see a good looking man, that's like, oh, that guy must get girls. That guy must crush it.

My dick won't do, like it's just, I'm not. So what if that girl was transgendered? Well, my dick would see her dick and go, no. No, no, I'm saying if you saw her in the mall. Oh, then that's different. Yeah, that's different. We didn't say that. I'm saying you could be kissing.

You could be hot and heavy and into it. But I'm saying once you feel hard on, that's not yours. And it's a game check, because there's a pair of balls and then the whole thing gets in your own or killer. So you were, so let me get this straight. So you were attracted to everything about her, everything, just fucking hotish made your dick jolt or whatever until you see the dick. Yes, he's not looking for a dick. He's looking for a vagina. A dick is a deal breaker.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it is. It's not, it's not to you. That's fine. I'm, it doesn't, I don't believe you 100%. All right. I mean, there's only one way to do it. I sure will. Show me your nigger. Let's get one in here. Let's get Bailey J in here, see what happens. I've been around her. I've been around her.

Yeah, yeah. It's a very feminine looking person. Very nice, very feminine. You know, but it's just like it didn't, you know, you see the... And I remember she said she has a boyfriend or a... Well, you two guys got to be, you know, that may be the way it is, but I'll tell you what, look I'm straight guys watching it.

It's the third most watch porn. Good for them. You could say you don't know who's watching it, but just ask, ask gay guys if they watch it. I wish they, guys don't watch it. I'm saying gay guys, I'm saying the same straight guys that are hooking up with gay dudes. I don't know if that's the dominant.

And have girlfriends, I've met these guys. They have girls trying to get in. And that watch transsexual porn on not 100% straight. Why would you, cause why would you, cause that means that you wanna see penises all over the fight. I think that's, I think that, you wanna see both. You wanna see both.

You wanna see both. Wait a second, do you guys watch porn? Do you watch straight porn? I don't know if you watch porn. You watch straight porn? I mean, I how to watch porn. You watch straight porn? I mean, I don't watch it as much anymore, but that's the point I watch. Hard dick's not, too.

You're watching another guy. I watch what's it called? That's Sheppel's girl. Sheppel said he's got to have more, there's got to be more girls or equal amount of dick. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's hard dick's there. It's a phallic symbol.

It's like a, I actually think about it as a porn. When you watch it, it does. They put you guys in a study? That's the way we'd'd really know they put you in a study. They've done this. This is how they know who watches it and who doesn't This how they know they do studies. I mean then you just I could just rejecting all data then I don't know that's that's used to be the culture in America now No one's rejecting I can't unequivocally tell you I've never watched I'm my children will put you guys the hook you up, you know They hook you up to fucking sensors and they hook you

Your penis up to see and your brain they do everything. Yeah, and then they show you the different types of porn They show you different types of porn and they see what happens and you know a lot of the studies that they've done A lot of the guys who are like fuck that. I would never do that the guys who are like I'm not like a point why do they have to be a talent accent? Get the fuck out of my mouth. The guys who are like very open mind. I'm a little, come very confused right now. They find, they find the guys that are like very open mind to kind of just like say yeah you know one day I was at my mom's house.

They're always a lot straighter. I watch some point. And what they like then the guys who are like, yeah, once this day, I'm out. I don't like gay, and then they show them gay porn. And then we always want what, you know, but the guys who are like, you know, the congressmen from the South that are like so anti-

yeah, so what are you saying? Are you saying that? I'm saying sexuality. No, I'm saying sexuality is a scale. I'm saying it's a scale. Don't disagree. It's like a scale, right? So you can be like 90%

90% eight, nine, you know, you're on a scale. I mean, you know, it's like, we do it for reproduction, but it really feels good. You can't help the things that attract you. Exactly. And it's a scale. And I'm also saying transgender porn, the people who are attracted to third sex people,

you can ask transgender people, and you can also ask gay people And ask any of them not not it's not gonna be the exception gay guys every gay guy will tell you that that does not turn them on Right so who's watching it? That's my point who is watching the third most watched Closet I think I think closet at home So then that means that every fucking you know, how many means that how many homosexuals there are no? They're not or if they can't explore that in their real life. They're doing it. They're watching so much more porn Exactly. Yeah, which is why they say they say when you've watched enough porn

You know what's actually people like different, you know, you go down a rabbit hole after I think you've seen everything You guys are just looking for it's hilarious because you guys are looking for You think you've seen everything you want? You guys are just looking for it's hilarious because you guys are looking for rationalization. I'm giving you an actual information. No, you're not giving me anything that we are. And we are, and we are back to you. No, you're giving, none of you are giving me any data.

What's your data? You're just saying the reason is, I know the reason. The reason is, I'm telling you the data. I'm telling you. We've literally agreed with you. Over and you will know. Accept it. What's your data? What study have you done? A study of you read that says that these guys are closet and homosexual. We agreed with you. No, you just said they're

closet and homosexual. So I want to know what study you read. Where that says that the people who watch it just does take a lot of my time. There you go. That's the fact. I'm saying I know straight guys who have hooked up with my gay guy friends. Are they watching transgendered? Probably. Ask them. Oh, probably.

It's not gonna cut it. Yannis, do you see that person is straight? Hold on, do you think that person is straight? Someone who is in a relationship, and I had a sexual relationship, but a hook up a gay guy, or getting. Blowing a gay guy, that's the next level. Is that straight person knows in himself what he's really into and that could be a kink on the

side that he likes yes but you don't think you don't think that takes slides him down that scale close to it slides him down the scale but if he identifies as heterosexual I don't think it's I don't think it's a third most watch deep who looked at up I actually did look it up and I have the 25 most searched terms on poor hub Go with I would go I could use that all right deplorable Okay, I was thinking into deep boo Okay, anyways, 90s aren't bees out

Okay, so the top Starting at number I guess we go from number one. Yeah, the most certs term on porn hub this past year will step mom. Sounds about right. How funny is this way up? Bobby just texted me. He wrote it texted me. Don't look at your fucking phone when you're doing the show. And I'm just looking at my phone to see that text. Yeah, he's on the chat right now, but the second most. Hey, Bobby. Yeah, Bobby. I think it's on the road or something

But I don't think it's I don't think it's the third most watch Let's see that mom will get to it step mom number two is cartoon Wow, this is the third most watch. This is third most Google search with the porn terms. Yeah top US searches of 2015 So only us yeah 2015 yeah, but it's 2017 where those that is true yeah no more data I'm scared I'm gonna be wrong so let's get out no look lesbian is third third make sense fourth is teen fifth is black hilarious seven or six is milk how far do we have to get far to transgender transgenders not on this list oh that was my first thought after that was that's a wrong stat. That's a wrong stat. No, no, there's Google

Google most watch point The wrong stat Come on, there's rough. There's the Dominique they did a I'll send you a TED talk by these two scientists who did it. Oh now I'm on point Now these two Danish scientists I Send deep all the articles you post them up go. I'm a little confused I hope that's the name of this

No, it is honest said it so confidently. I believe you fucking hook cuz it's true it is true When did you get this information I've been reading I read all about it. I'll send all the links I don't have mommy right now I'm sitting here I'm scientist in Lebanon they said that people he writes after the end the dirt most Most times he writes after 10 Not before here we go. I'm I'm in a fucking glue 35% of the food you're eating Dude, you like soup. They say For scientists who never graduated colleges still respect them who said

If you we live or you like dick more than the next guy. I swear to God this Chilean fucking blood you got a translate Yeah, I'm not sure if I could find 2016 stats, but I Just nothing's coming. I love how step mom is one Like number five lady in your house Who's kind of hop you can you Exploing your dad. It's like why is cartoon number two like that? Yeah, it seems pretty safe actually You were just blowing your dad. It's like, why is cartoon number two? Like that's- Is that bothersome? Yeah. It seems pretty safe actually,

in my people that- What, but people that- No one gets actual cartoons having sex. I've never been- I bet you're pissing. I would guess pissing is more than transactual, especially now after- No way, no way.

There's a lot of people that like that pissing, man. Are they straight? Is that straight? What, pissing? Pissed on? Yeah. Just a little dirty. Yeah, you just didn't get out.

I think it's, yeah, I think it's actually like kind of like a self-deprecation. It's really, yeah, to get pissed on a shit on means you really don't take highly of yourself. I had a friend who's, you know, you can't be like, shit on my chest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love myself. I'm a beautiful person. Yeah, no, put the elephant foil around my face. Listen, punch me in the nose while you're shitin' on my chest. I'm into it. No, I had a

grave relationship with my dad. Why do you ask? Here we go. Here we go. What is the message board saying why he's pulling the subway? There's a Sydney Sydney Morning herald, Australia. Australia. All right. The headline is our sexual desires exposed by neuroscientist porn study. So these are neuroscientists doing the study. Straight men are aroused by penises as homosexuals. The study also gathered some revealing insights into women's porn searches.

The study which dubbed the world as a law and searches like clean house. Twenty sexual interests. Twenty sexual interests that account for 80% of all the porn people watching spent money on them. The top five categories are youth, gays, milf's, breasts, cheating wives, four buddy parts straight man. Are we just listening to you? We're listening to the honest try to find hisosexual men search for penises almost as often as they search for vaginas and out of the top 35,000 most popular adult sites roughly a thousand were devoted to large penises So that's how they're just gay. The study found that the largest audience for female male to female transgendered porn was heterosexual men

This is an erotic illusion. These are erotic stimuli that trick the perceptual machinery of the sexual brain by combining different sexual cues and novel combinations. That's, I think that's also a big part of it, is like, you know, like sexual stimuli doesn't have a rhyme or reason. You know, like there's people that like will take acid and they'll come when they see blue light. The researchers say they like blue light. Well, and then they're debunking what you guys say.

And the researchers have dismissed moral panic that argues pornography is encouraging men when they see blue light the research like like blue light well and they're debunking what you guys say and the researchers have dismissed moral panic that argues pornography is encouraging men to pursue degrading and perverse sexual habits said porn was a reflection of male desires rather than a creator of male desires an erotic a generally function to liberate and satisfy structures yeah all the studies that they've been doing tend to suggest that with the perception that the more you watch, the more horrible shit you wanna see isn't true.

Yeah, I don't believe that. I don't know how to say that. Well, that's just, but in all fairness, that's just an Australian study from a couple of people in Australia. No, no, no, this is an Australian article about a study done by neuroscientists. Two neuroscientists.

Yeah, did a study on that. Okay, did a study, okay. And there's been other studies. Well, look, I mean, listen, if people wanna see that shit to just, I don't know I mean I It's whatever you want to do yeah And bother me yeah, don't tell other people they can't do something that's all and look I'll be honest if I fucking grab the stiff one and I like This dick and I mean for me, I just, I'm not into it.

I was at the deli, why do you ask? I was reaching for the chips the dick was there. I mean, and then something happened, now. Mayo everywhere, I gotta talk. Now, every time I eat a Dorito, I think of a dick. I'm starting to like it, almost as much as I like Doritos. But not the original. Yeah, no, cool rich, cheaper friend. Where'd you go? Where's the therapist? When did they leave? I'm starting to like it almost as much as I like Doritos Where'd you go where's the therapist when the deal oh shit oh

Yeah, this is I see Bobby right now. I see Bobby right now go what the fuck is Why the fuck my wife is calling she's probably watching going what the fuck Bobby's actually in the chat room. He wants to say his time was wrong. I was wrong according to this I was way wrong. I fucking call it. I knew it. You said it way too comfortable. No, I'm porn hub at least Yeah, it's a fucking huge one. That's a big one It's a big one. No, no, no, it's I'm just saying it ranks 22nd in the most search That's pretty high. Yeah, that's no pretty high of all the categories red heads blonde. You can go anywhere. It's 22nd.

I think it's I actually saying here porn insiders know like they're talking about what porn porn insiders like the industry knows. No job. Yeah. Like the people who make porn. I said you know what he said that it just I just picture people in suits. I went off and said you know, we did a study. Okay, when come goes across the face

and that they're just all buttoned up world-danish scientists how are you so check this out it gets females 1.51 percent of category views is still significant when you consider that porn hump sees sixty million visitors per day over the last few years are searching category diversity has grown so individual types of porn are smaller proportionally for example the number one search category is lesbian at six point nine six point three nine while amateur for example gets two percent so it's right under amateur

porn gmail so well that's that's significant it's great that someone who is into transgender that's their thing now has a category we got got here from Boy Scouts, it's just one of Ryan's everybody. We were talking about the Boy Scouts now. There's no more Boy who's actually a girl who's actually searching for She-Mail point can't get in. Google analysis, Google Analytics bears this out. In a comparative analysis, She-Mail has 2.74 million hits.

Granny has 450,000. T-girl has 90,000 is true. Granny has 450,000. T-girl has 90,000 and transsexual has 60,000. This is like a big awful package. Look, I look at it, I look at it, I look at it. So, those aren't gay, I mean, it's not gay. Welcome to this American life. Gay guys is one out of 10, I think, is the, look, I think whatever, just that those numbers don't add up,

you know, and it's like, and gay guys just don't like transgender porn. But that's fine, dude. All right, we spent enough time. Yeah, we should listen, every whatever. Yeah, whatever Whatever you want to jerk off to jerk off Right, whatever you want to jerk off to jerk off to you know, I just think all I'm saying is grab in a dick when I'm making I was somebody who throw a wrench in my ears. What I'm saying I'm saying I'm a track

I'm a man. I ordered steak in his French and I've seen some transgendered women. This is what I'm saying I've seen some transgendered women that are so attractive that like I'm thinking there's a stupid enough for it. I've seen some transgendered women. This is what I'm saying. I've seen some transgendered women that are so attractive that like I'm attracted to them. Like I just read them too. I'm just attracted to them. Now I don't know what would happen if a fucking, if a horn came out.

I don't know. But I would assume I'm saying she's good. Because I'm so, horns. Yeah. I'm just saying I'm so attracted. Like I know me. I wouldn't, I wouldn't feel gay doing it. You know, I would just be like, I'm a track this person. So you just, I'm just another experience.

Yeah, I mean, I don't, I would not feel the same way with dudes because I'm just not a track. And in fact, some transgendered women who have masculine qualities, that's kind of a turnoff to me. If they look, I'm talking about the ones that are like, fucking, you just look like a woman, tall features. One of the very rocks, she's really like fucking, he just looks like a woman, soft features. She's really pretty.

Yeah, she's even a little masculine for me. Yeah, a little bit. I guess because she's really bit, she's beautiful. But somebody has shown her. Not saying she's not beautiful. And that's your thing, but somebody has shown you a beautiful thing. Somebody, no, no, I'm saying. Even you guys would be attracted, but then you'd see the horn.

No, what I'm saying, what I'm saying. That's it, that just proves, that's it. But that just proves that straight guys are attracted to transgender women It's not what let me finish. No, no, no, because you're let me finish it stated with the femininity That's right. You're attracted so straight man is attracted to them But you get the horn so you get the horn It's a woman there until you get but that's what if they got an ugly pussy when you get there Does it have you ever been turned off by an ugly or smelly pussy?

Yeah. All right. So what's the difference where you attracted to it before you got there? Yeah. All right. Point maze. Now let's move on. We've agreed with you that entire time.

No, I saw a picture of somebody showed me a picture and he goes, look at this. And it was a beautiful woman. And then I saw the breasts and it was beautiful breasts. And then I saw her hog and I was done. Yeah. You know, it was just, yeah. So what it was. I've never seen the transgendered model,

what's her name? She actually got in trouble in Jezebel. Jezebel tried to get her in trouble for actually quoting Mauricea in Twitter. She said, I'm trying to find a classy white and I'm gonna pay for my tits. And Andrea, she's like, to one of the biggest models in the world.

And she's transgendered. If you saw her, she is so fucking gorgeous. She's like fucking Kate Moss, fucking, just fucking, can you pull her up? And, and, and, and, PEDJIC, she's Australian. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and I wish is she in a boy a Zoolander to I don't know dude. She's like one of the biggest models in the world Andrea Pejack Yeah, I mean if I'm gonna question your Google skills if you can't find her. Oh, it's not Can you put it on that screen throw some picks up? I'll pull up her Instagram Well, you pull up to her Instagram and what is your background on your phone?

And what is your background on your phone? I don't know. Look at this! We should hide. So picture me with my dick in her head, just looking around. Your photo is shot yourself in the background. Got one hand on the dick. Just saying, there's way too much judgment going on

about that shit. Wholeheartedly agree. Yeah. I just think it's what you're attracted to. What you're attracted is what you're attracted to. What you're attracted to is what you're attracted to. Take a look at that fucking verse. Look at that. Does it fucking verse. Look at that.

This is right here. Look at that. Yeah. That's a man. That's a man. Born a man. Born a man right there. Born a man.

But she doesn't have a hog. Huh? She doesn't have a mule. She had a hog. She cut it off. She decided to cut it off. This is every, every animal. Not cut it off.

That's rude. Wait, this whole time, what's it all mean? She inverted it. Yeah. Well, because she didn't cut it off. They invert it. They invert it inside. Oh, it's rude she you know wait this whole time she inverted it yeah well because she didn't cut it off they invert it they inverted inside but some get actually cut off right dude the line between male and female you know what they do that scientifically is so thin it's so fucking thin you'd be surprised I would never know that that's a of course you would my wife and I would go more gorgeous the most women she's more gorgeous the most women my

type I hear you but not my type. Right, you're like a fat ass, but what do you want from me? So you could tell me you could do all that. You can't put a little bubble up there. My wife and I were watching this thing about like Thailand and of course they got to like the, like the, the training, I don't know if can you say, train your fingers?

Totally okay, culturally over there by the way. Yeah. And they consider themselves straight. Yeah. So it's like you gotta go outside the scope of America. But one girl, she doesn't have it anymore. She's like, no, they do the surgery here. It's not that expensive.

She was like talking about it. And the guy asked her, does it still work? And she's like, oh yeah, I still get wet. And that's when I was like, I kind of want to turn this thing on. I'm not against it. I'm happy. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

I'm still getting like, it's the guy's pre-com still comes out of her vagina. And and I was like this is like too much in for me. Yeah, well when you put it like that What's that right there Well, who was here before me? But I think it is worth noting in Thailand It's an old tradition that goes all the way back Culturally they don't think it's weird at all and they don't think it's gay at all But I don't think I have male masseuses that would suck you off. Like, that's been through culture. And what?

In old Indian culture, they had like male masseuses that you, it was like, straight guys would go and a male would massage you. But they actually would suck you off. In Thailand, they actually, like, they, they, they revere them because they think that they have sort of both, they have both spirits, male and female. Right. So they think that they're just kind of people.

Native Americans, I forget what tribe it is, they had five genders. Yeah, like they rats in Vietnam, so you know people different strokes for different folks. It's what yeah, it's what you want. It's what you grew up with too. And the culture you grew up in too. Yeah, it's what affects your brain. It does. I bet you guys were born over there, you'd think differently.

It's a lot of it is cultural. Yeah, maybe. I mean, I mean, that's again, I'm fine with whoever wants to do it. Yeah. I'm all for it. I don't know those guys that are sequels. Yeah, I think we're all agree. All right.

All right, I think we're pretty far into this. So I think we should wrap this puppy up. What are you tweeting at us and let us know what you think? Yeah, yeah. What is Bob? Who's in the chat room? And everybody has any questions about further transgender. Just to be clear. To be clear of me, I am the expert. Yeah, no, what is Bob? Who's in the chat room? And everybody has any questions about further transgender, just to be there.

To be there with me, I am the expert. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Well, she knows a Danish scientist that'll answer all you. I'll send that link about the study that was done. We honest, at Danish scientist, it is in the old time. Two neuroscientists,

they did our top. We did our top. We did our top. They did our top. They still have a nephew, said. You know, it's funny though, is that it's kind of becoming the dominant culture in America. There's what?

Where it's like people are always like, would it come to like studies and like empirical evidence and science, you know? It's like everyone's like, you know? They just, I think there's also that there's so much data. All these scientists, wow, there's all, there's a lot of bullshit data out there.

But all these fucking poor scientists that dedicate their lives to figuring out your true, yeah. Advancing technology, all this stuff that they do, this shit that they can do to your heart now, how they can save your life and prolong your life is crazy. These guys do study after study, that's how the scientific method is.

We do the study, we do studies, we do data. That's what scientists do. We prove a hypothesis. If it doesn doesn't work there's a great quote by one of the physicists uh... camera members name he says doesn't matter how smart you are doesn't matter how great your explanation is if it doesn't add up in study to the the data doesn't support it yeah it's wrong yeah doesn't matter how brilliant it is it's wrong of a mercy they're gonna start running for office now there's a whole group of scientists that say they're tired of being told that

it's really scary. It isn't like real anymore. Yeah. They're so scared of the fact that society seems to be going away from intellectual data that a lot of them are starting to gear up to run. To get into because they go by the numbers. That's the real problem in this country that nobody talks about. It's how fucking stupid we are.

That's the real problem. And you know, it's the hypocrisy of fucking Hollywood that comes out and says, ah, we want gun control. And like, hey, there are all these liberal agendas. And then they make all these big budget fucking shoot them up movies where guys are just heroes, blah, blah. And then everyone fantasize, I'm gonna be that good guy with a gun.

I just go blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, it's like you're conditioning these fucking morons. All these reality shows with this dumb-down nonsense Yeah, all these fucking shitty comedians who got like really like 12 year old fucking jokes like the shitiest fucking and They love it. They cater to this 12 year old sensibility. Yeah, you know, that's what you know Because it's easy the hot chick the big tits the fucking young hot comedians up there You know know I'm farting in the elevator type of shit and then the fucking reality shows where

drama hit bitch you said that fucking fucking throw these plates at your head and then the movies is just neck this summer Mark Wahlberg is in diving gun guy and you fucking pal because fucking fucking shooting everywhere and then you wonder how this happened you, and then they under fund education. We're 18th in education. I know I'm throwing a lot of stats out there. It's funny, it's happening. But we're 18th just behind transgender.

Our education, we're coming out so fucking stupid that people can't think. They don't know, they have, nobody even studies logic. What, did you have a logic class? Did anyone have a logic class? I did. No. I was. I'm just fucking going did you have a logic class? Did anyone have a logic class? I did. No.

I was. I was fucking cool. I had a logic class. Yeah, it's too, nobody has logic class. Everyone's fucking coloring till they're like in 27. You're in a coloring class. Nobody takes logic. Nobody takes logic.

Nobody takes fucking logic. Who minding the logic? I'm a major, yeah. I'm a major, I'm a minor in logic. I'm a major in that. I made you think common sense. Unbelievable. All right, so let's wrap this puppy up, see what everybody's got in that. I made you a common sense. Unbelievable. All right, so let's wrap this puppy up,

see what everybody's got, Alexis. What do you have coming up to plug? A Luminati party is the show that I run. It's a secret location. It's in a basement and we don't promote it. But hit us up, hit me up, Adna Alexis, and obviously cool again. If you guys like soccer, please tell me.

You guys like soccer. If you've ever even watched soccer, check it out where comedians first soccer What is the day to say about what Americans like? It's definitely not Third It's actually second 12th

I was totally wrong about that I admit I know a pretty scientist He said soccer Great Danish guys yelled goals so we did it So yeah soccer coolagins on everything follow us Instagram. You'll be one of 10,000 That's right. That's how I said and you'll be the one of the only Americans 80% American because I have the data to back it up because I get a button to tell I don't buy in data Oh, yeah, you should you got to name this one fucking data or scientist Danish scientist whatever

What you got coming? Um, I have my show at the standing room on next Wednesday, February 8th. It's called Fuck Mary Kill and it's like the game. We play the game. Um, we have a great lineup 9 p.m. Wednesday the 8th. But what do you mean you play the game? You actually asked the quet like, yeah, so everybody like in the audience writes down the name of anybody well-known,

dead or alive, and then each comic draws one. The first one, the audience will yell out, fuck, marry or kill, and then you talk about why you would fuck, marry or kill, or how? You would be so good on the show. My feelings are good. I heard people want to fucking kill me. Wait, so we perform, and then you guys... And then you pick two people in the room to do the other two things

So if they tell you to fuck Justin Bieber you talk about that and then you'd kill I'll do whatever you want It sounds fun. Okay, and then and then you choose so you can like fuck or you know if they said fuck I'll fuck Mary and kill all trannies You're about to get so many emails And then you do a regular set. Yeah, if you want, I'll actually like one time what we had Pete Lee do it. And he did his whole set as the game. And it was so awesome. Like he just he came up with stuff. He's like, I've never been able to do these jokes because you just find things or you know, you just who knows where to put so funny as people. It's yeah, he's so funny. I'm gonna

kill that show. Yeah, I would like to do it. I see a ranking of the nicest guys in comedy. You know, there's like some really nice guys, but mostly shitty people. You know, I don't know about that. I don't know about that. Shitty people, maybe not great people. We got some monsters. There's some shitty people.

Shitty people is a heavy, that's heavy. You're right, they're not murdering people. That's a shitty people's heavy, but you know, person is the one who never doesn't still know me. Oh, you got to tell me that after this. I will. Okay.

So that's October 8th. No, I mean, I'm confused. What's going on? Shitty person doesn't know her. What are you learning here yet? It's a next Wednesday, February 8th, standing room, Long Island City. Yeah, you said October earlier. So you can follow me on, I mean, I have to spell out my name, but I just

code of this. Follow her. Lusheda. Lusheda. I'm sorry, I called you Mexican. I genuinely thought you were Mexican. Yeah, I'm not Mexican. Yeah, what are you got coming up, buddy? Anything to plug? I'm sorry, I called you Mexican. I genuinely thought you were Mexican, not because I was fusion. I don't think I have Mexican siblings, it's fine. I'm not offended. So you are a part, Max.

Oh, there are. Have some money, yeah. All right, and you're from LA, so I thought, you're from LA, you're like from LA, right? Like you're from there, right? So you thought I was Mexican face off that? From LA, I'm from LA, right? So you thought I was Mexican face on that? From a lady. I'm from a lady, bro.

Are you from Queens? I'm from Brooklyn. How dare you, Queens? You're a queen. Yeah, it's a good point. Should be. What's a queen show? And they're like, I'm from Queens.

I'm from New York City. And he goes, Queens is in New York. Queens is brutal. We're so arrogant as New Yorkers. We get arrogant about other burrows in New York. Yeah, I fucking stand island Yeah, all right, I got Tor dates coming up. They'll be on my website young as papas.net. I'll be at Gotham and Mar I got a whole bunch of dates. So go check my website follow me on Twitter and

Try to catch me a versi smoke and sticks is so ho yeah What do I got this Friday? I will be at the comedy shop for my buddy James D. Benedetto at Mount Arlington. That is at the, uh, you will be there. That is at the courtyard. Marriott also February 17th and 18th. I will be headlining the comedy connection and Providence, Rhode Island. That's, uh, one show for, yeah, one show Friday the 17th two shows Saturday the 18th and

a bunch of new dates coming in for 17 on my website Paul Verzi.com. I want to thank Bobby Kelly and Deepu. Yep. And you know what dude podcast. You could also follow me on Twitter at Paul Verzi and we got a couple just two more announcements. Yeah. Follow this show YKWD podcast, on all social media platforms and download the app. Robert Kelly's, you know what dude app on the iOS store or a Google Play store. Go premium, get access to premium content.

And we have Bobby's dates on the second, third, fourth, and fifth, he'll be at Off the Hook comedy club in April, Florida. On the 11th, he'll be at Cabot Performing Arts Center in Beverly Mass. And the 18th, he'll be at Cherokee Casino, Kuala Ballroom in West Salomam Springs, Oklahoma. So you can check those out at robacalilive.com.

That's it. Thank you Paul, you did great, man. Thanks man, had a good time. Where are you gonna be, D-Bull? I have a grizzly pair. I could be. If I had self-esteem, I could be. I have a couple of shows.

One at Bar None on the 14th Valentine's Day, blowing off my check for that. So that what it's a good time and the 16th i will be at carmelange hosting a show from a friend Kwame always a good time there uh... yes check those out dates on my twitter are too deep who and then you'll be doing comedy in pakistan once trump gets fucking ready use people i hear comedy is good there so i'm excited no soccer topics hopefully no soccer i think even soccer is fucking it they fucking love it out there.

Alright, we're done. Thank you. Yeah. You've been listening to YKWD Podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotas.com

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