Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Aaron Berg & Mike Finoia | Try Before You Bi

Episode Date: November 19, 2023

This week Bobby is joined by Aaron Berg and Mike Finoia, they talk about Aaron's new look, the dude cigar lounge at Skankfest, and the three of them compete to see who is the most Jewish. FOLLOW AARON BERG https://www.instagram.com/aaronbergcomedy/ http://www.aaronberg.com/ https://twitter.com/aaronbergcomedy FOLLOW MIKE FINOIA https://mikefinoia.com/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JndmbIQkMw https://www.instagram.com/mikefinoia/ This episode is sponsored by GhostBed Listeners can get 40% off all products sitewide! Use promo code YKWD at GhostBed.com/ykwd for 40% Off Sitewide. Limited Time Only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Encontra en los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos lía. Númenas que de Maú, a Madrid. Buscas contenido gratis. ¡Au, une bici! Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o Sensación de Vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. ¿Estás mirando en el camino a la puerta?

No, no a la puerta. ¿Por qué no? No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no.

Yo quiero que te meto con David en la casa. Me he quedado en un color diferente y en un color blufer. Sí, blufer. Yo'm gonna get a whole bunch of these This is the whole thing so you got that on Amazon. Yeah, did you do try before you buy? No, you just roll the dice I just went by By now. Bye. Be I now try before you buy TRR before you be I Baby was starting the podcast right now!

We're back, you know what dude live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW. I started the social media podcast. The fact that YKW did podcasts. YKW is back again. Old school, back in the day. We're all starting before them all. YKW is so fun and crazy. Yeah, home school, back in the day, where it all started before them all. I'm the only one who can't die in this podcast.

It's so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up, you fool! Who in the mix? Work the ball, damn it, man. I'm so sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR.

That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. Yeah, what's up everybody? Welcome back to another episode of you know what dude podcast. One of the longest running podcasts and one of the middle range successful podcasts on the East Coast. We never go too high, but we never have gone back down. We slowly crawl to the top and probably the day I grabbed my chest in a tomato field is when this podcast will be successful.

Like Lewis J Gomez once said, it's my legacy to my son. I hope I have more to give my son than this. But I love that you guys love it. The last couple of weeks have been awesome. My headphones aren't working because the people that work for me have lots of them. They can only do one thing good. Joe makes good videos.

The sound on my headphones is not working. Yeah, they're doing stuff. I wish that I could turn it up a little bit. There it goes. I fixed it. It was just down. God. I've never loved sick people like I love.

I worked with six retarded people mentally retarded people elderly for Three two years elderly They were fucking better than these three But I like these people more Anyways, yeah great show tonight Maxi who do we got we have Aaron Berg and Mike Fiona? You a finoeia Wow What a fucking good good. Did he fuck it up? Yeah Fiona Aaron Berg and Mike Fiona You a Fenoya

What a fucking good. Did he fuck it up? Yeah Fiona Fiona. Here's why Here's why Just say tell him how to say it Just say it. It's it's it's not an easy name. It's pretty easy. It's not Kelly. It is not Berg Yeah, it's easy. Yeah, but the way you read it. F I N O I A Fenoya. Fenwa. How the fuck do you get Fiona? Fenonia. Fenonia. Fenonia. Fenonia. If you sound it out, it says Fenonia. No, there's no. Fen, oh, yeah. Fenoya.

Fenonia. Still know what you said. I'll take that. Fenoya. Yeah, yeah, I'll take it. Mike Finia. Yeah, yeah, there it is And Aaron you know yeah, boy you know who do you listen? Are you are you going to do what the fuck are you all new thing Bobby? What is are you and don't take it a podcast? You're gonna get your face airbrush on a Jeep. Yeah, you're gonna get you're gonna get a podcast. What? You're gonna get your face airbrush on a Jeep? Yeah, you're gonna get, you're gonna get a, what are you? Going that far. Where you going?

You go to the guy, you go to the Gaza Strip, you taking care of business? Oh boy, there's a war happening. You would have, there's a war for you, not me and Mike Fiannett. Doesn't affect you guys at all. Now, we're gonna sit back and watch you guys day by day, we're partying.

This is like when I was something in like China or something, you'd be like, this don't affect me. But now when it affects you, it's pretty bad. No, it affects all of us. Not really. It does. Do you know anybody over there? No.

No, it really doesn't affect. It affects everybody. It affects Jews. It does affect everybody. Because, you know, a lot of it. Is this a Jewish tribal outfit? This is a faux fur vest that I'm trying out tonight. It's a... tribal outfit. This is a faux fur vest that I'm trying out tonight. So, are you like, are you Jewish, like our Navy seal?

Like this would be what the Navy seals in Israel look like. Yes, it's a Jewish Rambo. Is that a Jewish from the river to the seal? That's the expression. From the river. What are you, are you like, so hand use hummus to beat people? You go through filophils So hand it's fun being a Jew not taking shit. That's fun when you when you realize like you got guns and stuff

You feel a little better, but you still feel we should you know what they should do They should play so hand on a big screen TV right on the border Yeah, and then they you know they'd be big screen TV right on the border. Yeah. And then they, you know, they'd be happy. I think that there's going to be peace soon. I got a good, I got a good feeling. Oh, listen, man, they better, you guys, you know, everybody, it's a good, you guys and everybody downstairs in the kitchen, better.

Yeah. Well, it's a funny thing is that it gets scary. Yeah. You know, and I hate, you know, I had somebody tell me, somebody sent me a message, Danny, you must have deleted it or whatever. You know, I'm a big fan. I love YKWD and I followed you for, I love that.

They always give you their resume of how long I've been loyal, which I love. Yeah, they've been loyal. And then, but now you're pushing your right, right, right wing agenda on people. I'm like, okay, I don't know what you're talking about. I am pro woman's choice. Get those abortions. Yeah, kill those.

Yes, get a prize. I am pro. I love gay people. I'm tro a gay marriage. Yes. Yeah, do it. Gay people. Yes.

Trans. Yes. Yeah. Black people. Let's go. I am a registered Democrat. I just lap into like guns. Yeah, okay.

That's not a right wing agenda. That's an American agenda. I just, yeah, it's, it's right. If you love America, people think you're right wing. I had a flag on my jacket and they'll let go right wing. I was like, I love this country. It's become a crime. You can have a gun and not be a piece of shit.

Or three. But I have four now. I have three. I have five actually. Nice. I went out. I'm a, yeah, but it's like, come on, man. It's either you're or.

That's the thing that people put you in now. And stupid. If there was more middle ground, people would get along better. Can I say something? Yeah. There is more middle ground. There is middle ground. Could I say something? Yeah. There is momentum ground. There is middle ground.

Most of us are in middle ground. But it's like this, these, these internet people make you pick a side. Yeah. Member growing up and like one neighbor would have a do caucus sign. The other one would have a fucking idiot. Fucking idiot. And you just kind of put a bunch of idiots. And it was just like, hey, you still row guys.

Yeah. You still had fucking picnics and hung out you didn't wish death upon them Wow fucking Yeah, well because they took away Jesus No, the Jews take a comma originally you took them away someone told me that Jesus was Palestinian the other day And I said I think he was Mexican by the way you spelled it Jesus Fiona I think a Fenyanya. Fenyanya. Listen, I don't know. I'll go for a burger with extra Fenyanyans on it. Fenyanyans. I'll take it. I'll take it.

Just not Fiona. How about this? Yeah. How about we all just fucking relax. I love to. And get those vests. I relax today. I was having a I was all up on the social meds and then I just drove in and the truck lit up a stick through on some loop coms and I was just chill. We fucking Luke Holmes. Dude, the best.

What is that? You and Don got a new country. We're getting your tickets. What is it? New sellin' out of Venus. You don't who is Luke Holmes? I don't know. Do I?

It's new country. Bring up his face. Something look at us. I love country, dude. I'm into country. Do I? It's new. Bring up his face. Something look at this. I love country. Dude, I'm into country. He's like the number one country. I love that you mean you are getting old in the same way. Yeah. I mean, I want that jacket more than life itself. You get you one. You can't. Do you really want that jacket?

I can't. I yes. More than life itself. You know how brave it is for me to wear this? I mean, your wife tried to take it. She goes, is this for me? I go, nah, do you say I you see you wear some very briefs? Did you say how gay it is to wear that a brave both? Oh, okay? Luke Holmes that's fucking jelly roll and I fucking

Yeah, that's that's ozempic jelly roll big body of work on Luke. Oh, listen. I love country me I love good to I love jelly That speaks the other day. How how moved were you by that speech great guy to I love country music. I love it. I love it. I love it. That speaks the other day. How moved were you by that speech? Great guy too. I love country music. My stepdad got rest his soul. Gotta do that. I thought it was a birthday this weekend.

Wow. Happy birthday. He's dead. God bless. He was 62. How old would he be 62 now? No, he would be 65. So I had a 62.

That's sad. Yeah. I'm sorry about that. Yeah. That's sad. Yeah. Sorry about sucked. Yeah. Yeah hurts more talking about I think we're Remember you want to keep going. Yeah, you guys were close. I'm fucking he was there for you. He's a good guy. Yeah, he was a good guy What he died of um, he died Defending the flag against people trying to rip it down. No, he died of, it was quick. It was really fucking sad. He died as like, I don't know, sepsis.

He got sick. Here's a problem with men, especially his generation, uh huh, right? 60s, 50s, 60s. They don't go to the hospital. I got, I'm fine. Yeah. I'm fine. I'll be go to the hospital. I got, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'll be fine.

My wife's like that. I'm fine. She's one of those. She's a, you know, one of the broads from the 50s, even though she was born in the 70s. I'm fine. You're not. Yeah.

I need you. I'm not doing, I don't want to do. The shit my wife does, I don't want to do. Yeah. Please live longer than me. Also because the connection and the love you have. No, I just don't want to do. Please live longer than me. Also because the connection and the love you have. No, I just don't want to do dishes and the bills and then clean up after everybody's.

Because the bills. Dude, if she passes, we're getting a small, we're going to the tiny house. I'm out. I'm out. I'm going to become a superstar in Faket, the Habsha dude. That'd be good.

I'm going to take over for Bob Miley. Yeah, Bob Miley. He was a guy. Faket and Porkin' Abane. Porkin' Abane. Faket and Porkin' Abane. I'm going to go clean Bob Marley. Yeah, Bob Marley. He was a guy. Fucking pork on a beans. Pork on a beans. Gotta be in. I'm gonna go clean. He was funny, Bob.

He still is. He did like a, didn't he have the record for the longest set ever for a while? Like 40 something hours? No. I swear to God, look it up. You look it up. No.

All right, Mike Fionia doesn't have the... Fignonio. He did a super long set. Get Mike Fionio's sauce. I wanna do it. I wanna do a tiny house, but I also like the tree houses. I like the custom tree house. Here's the thing with the tree house. It's in a tree.

Yeah, so what? Yeah, dude, you don't want animals and shit and birds shitting on your house. Birds don't shit on your tiny house? Here's a problem with the tree house. It gets struck by lightning and the tree dies, you fucked. You, you, you, you, the one step, what? You know this from owning a house. You own a house? Yeah, we rent a house now, but I've owned a house. You, you, the one step, what, you know this from owning a house.

You own a house? Yeah, we rent a house now, but I've owned a house. Okay. You know, the problem is when you own a house, what, what is he bringing up? I forgot. The longest comedy set is a guy named David Scott, the boot, the Bucaiowa.

Yeah, but he don't fucking count. Look up up Marley's 40s. Buddy, you can't bring up some guy who went on at a fucking chuckle hut in front of four people. How many times did he say, what else is going on? Oh, yeah. So, what do you guys want to talk about? I still, still married?

People can be, Jesus. People can keep bringing newspapers up. I was just weird, right? Tomorrow's gonna be raining. Rain's weird. Dane was doing that and Jappelle was doing that. Oh, they were going to do it. Fuck the worst marathon sets.

What's the guy's name? Bob Marley. M-A-R-L-E-Y. Yeah. Fiona. The one thing that you have to deal with with the house is trees. Yeah, the trees are a fucking problem. A problem.

Yeah, and you can't sometimes you can't just take them down. You're taking them down. The town comes up. What are you doing with that tree? Yeah. Taking it down is going to follow my roof. You can't do that. No, and they're't, sometimes you can't just take them down. You're taking them down, the town comes up. What are you doing with that tree? Yeah. Taking it down, it's gonna follow my roof. You can't do that. No, and they're fucking coming down now too.

These winds are knocking down some serious. Big old trees. I just had to have two more trees taking it. Now I'm cheap. I looked in, my guy Barry, who's the best, he's up in the hamster. Barry. He's like, that tree has, he's gonna see that hole.

He shows me all these little holes. I didn't even see him. He's like, he's like, these, that tree has, he's gonna see that hole. He shows me all these little holes. I didn't even see him. He's like, that's infested with beetles. Yeah, beetles are killing all these. Yeah, the killing tree. So he goes, he's gotta take this tree down, that tree, and three trees I gotta take. And it's a lot of money.

Yeah, it is. Lost seven trees, eight, nine trees last year. Yeah, so trees, this is the problem with being an adult, right? Bob, he completed 40 hours of comedy. The first 17 hours and 14 minutes without any repetition. But David Scott did 40 hours and eight minutes. What an asshole, huh? You imagine what a dick. That's a dick thing. Yeah, nobody even knows you. Do 50. Bring up David Scott. I want to see what maybe he's awesome. But if he, what if David Scott

is the greatest comic we've never heard. We start with literally just watch four hours on the show of him. And we're just, we're howling. Like better than Delirious overall. He must have had a beef with Bob Marley. No, he just, he just fake, dude, he, that's a dick move. That's a dick move. Bob Miley is one of the greats.

Bob Marley's incredible. I remember in one of the greats. Bob Mali is incredible. I remember in one of my early cocky moments in Providence, I was like, I think I got this set ready to, I mean, I was soaked two years in maybe, three years in. I'm like, this set is ready. He goes, do it backwards. He goes, open with your closer, close with your opener. And then we'll sit you now.

And I was like, okay, I'm not ready. I'm fucking sucked. Did you do it? No, I mean I tried I say I say what you do is you fuck your opener and then you suck off your closer and then oh is that different? Yeah, I'm sorry a Vest is just get me nuts. I know it's crazy. It's not how much that cost six bucks? I fucking five below with the time below Where Amazon so you bought that to Peacock?

Yeah. Sun Unseen. Yeah. Peacockin. Yeah. This is a new thing. Tell me about this thing real quick. I feel I'm getting back in good shape.

You look good. I feel like now is my time. And I feel like. So you're time for what? My time to be me. To get a hip replacement? No. It's a great time.

Oh, sorry, sorry. Time to join A. What's your time? What's your time? Tell me what the time is a great time. Oh, sorry, sorry. Time to join A. What's your time? Tell me what the time is. The time. Time for what? It's now. It's time for what?

This is where old man that's still identify as younger man are going to blow up and I'm leading the way. You doing the T? Yeah. Yeah. How's the T? Really good. How you getting it?

Pellets or are you doing the shots? My wife doesn't for me. Remember we talked about the pellets. Yeah, I talked about it. I laid talking about the bed. She goes like this Smack my ass for no reason that's not a part of it. No, it's not and then she'll do it She's mad at me. She's definitely get hard. I go with the fuck and then she boom Friends you're as an impuss in the needle in your shoulder friend of mine you put you says you put it in the stomach. It's better. No In the stomach. Yeah growth hormone goes in the stomach. No, he said you do the stock the tea in the stomach. Yeah. Growth hormone goes in the stomach. No, he said you do the

the the T in the stomach. How's he look? Looks great. Not like that. I'll put in what's what was unhealthy Aaron look like? I mean, you've always been in fantastic. Yeah, but not this guy. Not during the pandemic. And I'm getting more comfortable. You got that? Yeah. Was that faster in the No, I just said that to make you feel better about yourself for a second. It doesn't really. I took it away. I mean, now it was, it's, I still feel pretty fucking, I'm a little flustered now. Can I ask you a question?

Yeah. And you do it, right? You don't do it. What? Test us around. No, no, you would love it. Okay, I'm thinking about it though. What was your tea when you got a check that it was down?

These are numbers. I don't play around the number game. I look very nervous. Number. What do they mean? It's imaginary. It was love. It's not hanging. It was like 200 something. Oh,

you were 200. Yeah. What's it supposed to be? I'm up around probably six or seven now. Okay. Well, mine's four. You're okay. I'm good. He said it's norm. How's your sex drive? Yeah. I mean, if you want to start fucking again, it's fun. And you shouldn't have to go that far back in your life. My focus is off too. You sleep, but I sleep great. Bobby, I can go right to sleep now. Yeah, it's great.

I feel way better. I want more people to start mouth taping. Well taping. Dude, I know I just came out of fucking left field with that. Yeah, was this a tea thing? No, I want my chair higher too. I feel weak. Yeah, you do look lower.

Yeah, these cock suckers try to make me feel weak. I feel like we're sitting at the feet of a very short Santa. He thought that you were gonna be like way higher. Yeah, like with a turkey leg and a goblet. He was almost upset. Here's the thing. I just feel like I want to look at you differently if this angle's weird to me.

Yeah, well, that's your camera, dude Kind of beta the lowest anything What's the mouth tape? Oh here you go. Oh, you sleep with the mouth tape on okay? No, stop you would not really stop right now watch I die stop stop close your mouth relax breathe through you know, it's just relax Close your mouth relax breathe through you nose just relax There you go, I'll like it just slow down relax Take his vest You take it I would never touch his I'm not wearing that fucking I bet you that vest came with a club Game of the bullets you understand we're not supposed to sleep with our miles like that

That's what that's why you that's why you swallow spite close your mouth Game of the Bullets. But you understand? We're not supposed to sleep with our mouths like that. That's why you swallow spiders. Close your mouth. And you can breathe through your nose. And I wake up in the morning, refreshed. You're using it. When I used the mouth tape, this hostage tape, and I was scared of it, I'm still like scared of it.

I talked to the owner, he's a great guy. He told me, nobody's ever died from doing mouth. You're supposed to sleep with your mouth shut And I have people do do do that you fucking and I fucking hate you people Because I do it and guess what I wake up the night if I don't do it My mouth is dry my fucking teeth are dry my breath stinks I fucking don't sleep as good when I put put that mall tape on, and you have to sit correctly, you can't, you know. You sleep sitting? Yeah.

Well, another thing I tried to do is that I learn that, you know, sleeping on your back is better for you. So I put pillows around me and I try to put, elevate a little bit and I try to relax into sleep. And I, and I focus on my dude, I wake up the next day, let's go. Let's go. It's so easy for your wife to kill you like that.

I hope she does. She just goes, it's like my club for nose. I hope she does. I hope the old Tony's the proud one. The old man. I hope I wake up in the, in heaven. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna wake up in a river.

Wow. All right, so you do that, huh? Every night I do it. I don't do it every night because I forget I get you know But when I don't do it, I don't sleep is good and I and you know This is the problem with the world right now is you can't get a fucking straight answer on anybody You know what I mean? You good you could type in is this good for you? It is great. You could type it It's bad for you. It's bad for you. Right. Of course. Yeah, you find type in, is this good for you? It is great, you could type in, it's bad for you, it's bad for you. Right, of course. Yeah, you find the answer you want.

But for me, for me, I will say this, I use that hostage tape stuff, and it took me a day or two to get used to it. Now, look, if I have a stuff he knows, I don't do it. If I was sick, I don't, I haven't done it. But when I'm like, What about your facial hair? Yeah, is it rip it off?

Nope, doesn't, it just fucking goes on your lips. It just keeps your mouth shut just enough. So it's not open and you're sucking in air. What if you forget you have it on and you go to drink water and you drown yourself, you just pour it right up your nose. Or you mean like I waterboard myself? Like I'm a, like I'm Hamas.

The skin-lead, serious consequences, such as pneumonia and even death. See, I didn't even address the sentence, but now I'm thinking of something. It as pneumonia and even death. See I didn't need to press the sentence, but now I'm thinking, it could cause pneumonia or death. Read that. Read that. Read it to the microphone you. Oh my god. If you puke in your sleep, you could ask the ass. Don't puke. Don't you fucking mama cast? I don't know. I don't know what he's doing in his sleep. He's puke in his sleep.

Look, aspiration. Read it. Read it. Sleep apnea, skin irritation, allergic reaction from the tape. Ask if you vomit and have acid reflux when your mouth is taped, the stomach conscious going to your lungs, it could lead to serious consequences such as pneumonia. Wow. Jesus Christ. Where'd you get these guys, Bobby? Listen, I understand this, but I don't have,

I don't have, since I got the surgery, I have no more acid reflux. So you don't binge eat before bed, right? I do not. I try not to eat before bed. I try to eat at least two hours before I go to sleep. Once a week, I'll like let loose, and I'm like, I'm gonna eat right before bed.

Are you talking about pussy or food? Food. Because I'll eat that pussy right before I go, yeah, yeah. You know when you eat that pussy right before bed You in that game with that pussy on that labia I call that flabia I eat that pussy I had to take a tom's cuz I ate so much of that Bring me some bismar after I live that labia. Are we are 10 minutes in?

Yeah, oh good Give me some Bismarl after I lift that labia. Are we 10 minutes in? Yeah. Oh good. This is when they can't see it. I guess the algorithm, AKA Chinese dude that watches all the YouTube videos. Oh my God, this fucking algorithm. My name is an algorithm. Easy, easy, they have fucked up.

Shane Gillis. So sick of the algorithm. I mean, I guess I hope it's crazy. I love it. Now, why are you peacocking? Do you have an in midlife crisis? I don't call that. I call it just feeling good.

Well, how come Mike, you're the same age as him? How old are you? I'm 44. How old are you? 51. Wow, you're younger than me. Really? Not there yet.

So you're just like, fuck it. I feel good about myself. I want to wear silly shit. Yeah. I don't care. I don't care. You don't give a fuck. like fuck it. I feel good about myself. I want to wear silly shit. Yeah. I want to, I don't care. I don't care. You don't give a fuck. I love it.

You'll good. And it's working. It works on stage. It's not weird. What is it? Yeah. Well, I'm going to tell you that's not true. What do you mean?

It's weird for everybody when you walk up and they go, what the fuck's up with this guy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 10 seconds later. It's fine.

Fine. That's fine. But don't, don't say, you were gonna weigh it. I mean, you look like a pimp in like a cartoon. Yeah, yeah. The boondocks, so you got pimp in it. Yeah, camouflage goose. Yeah, I'm loving it. Yeah, you're like a pimp in fucking chili. The goal is by summer, no more shirt.

Just probably like a onesie, something like that. A onesie? Yeah, you know those old body builder onesies Like a jackal Elaine. Oh like you mean like the old like you're gonna have a button of a belt the old time the old time The box one. Yeah, you're gonna have a belt like a little maybe a belt maybe affect my speech a little bit like I was ready to laugh Oh, that's good. So I'm gonna bring you a stage. Yeah, ladies jumping. Please give it up for AK onesie Aaron Berg I'm gonna bring your stage. G'day, ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for AK, onesie, Aaron Berg. Hey everybody, how's the show been going so far?

Good, good, good. This chicken's hot. Ooh, looking old man, hammerhead Berg. I think it's great. I don't mind it. I'm looking for a hook, though. You looking for a hook? Are you gonna hook right off stage?

That's like an asshole. They're gonna gong, They're gonna go on. Remember they used to gong? Remember the old gong all the early days. The old days. Yeah, the amateur nights, the crash and burns. Someone to go up. They'd start playing car crash videos

at the club I started at. Oh yeah. Wow. Oh my god. People yelling, beheading videos and stuff. Just faces a death while you're fucking bomb. Jack Norman was his name. He used to run the amateur night in Toronto. That's what bomb. Jack Norman was his name. He used to run the internet and Toronto. That's what they would do.

Somebody's bomb and he'd go go to the video and they had like two screens. Oh, that's pretty funny. They should do that now. They should do that now. They should do that. These kids are too fucking... They're soft as fuck.

Oh, they're soft. Everything's viral. Doesn't matter. It's not a viral. It's like, I look... That would go viral though, even. And then the guys doing theaters, because he got, he got heckled by the club owner too hard. Let's not get bitter guys

I'm not bitter. I'm not bitter. I'm happy. Well, you got an a brand of special out don't let me down on my YouTube channel on your YouTube channel Mike Fenoya Mike Fenoya or Fenyanya. Yeah, Mike I think that out feels good. Is it feel good? Yeah, I came out. I tell you what it came out beautiful Thank you. I did it all myself. It was I out, I tell you what, I came out beautiful. Thank you, I did it all myself. It was, I mean, usually when guys do shit themselves, it's like there's always that one fucked up shot. Yeah.

But every shot looks beautiful, it looks great, man. I appreciate it, but. I'd say, and you got a thing out too, right? I don't know. What do you mean? What do you got? I don't know. What do you mean?

I got nothing. I heard you started the at Skankfest. You started a cigar lounge this year. Oh, that was big, man. I came up with this idea, like a year ago. You know, there was a lot of people there, a lot of smokers and stuff. And I was like, it'd be really cool if we, you know, we were hanging out, but I was like, we should make this more official.

So I reached out to some friends of mine, you know, Mo and Steve, I introduced you to both these guys a couple of years back. And we set up like a whole canopy and they gave us sticks and it was really the hang to be a part of it. What was the name of it? The dude, cigar left. That's weird. It's a weird thing to hear you say. Yeah. But what's the name of my podcast? You know what dude? Oh, it's weird. But you know whenever I would see you I'd be like dude. Let's smoke I'm gonna snap my own neck And it was a hit it was a hit and I can't take all the credit. You shouldn't take any of it. It was all my idea

It was such a good. I invented it. It was so good. I have cigar lounge at festival Skatefest Vegas the year before Look anywhere I go any club I go to even I set up have cigar lounge at festival. Skatefest Vegas the year before. Look, anywhere I go, any club I go to, even I set up a cigar lounge. If they, you know what I mean? I don't like to, they always say, no, you can smoke in here, but I always feel shitty smoke.

Yeah, don't do that. I did that in Syracuse, and then the next night they were like, don't do that again. Yeah, they fucking go ahead. I smoke out the room. Oh, but they'll let a fucking, they'll let a, uh,

DL, they'll let a comic smoke weed in there. Oh, yeah, oh the Syracuse funny bone green rooms like right at the crowd too You're like yeah, they let all the way from someone's which is annoying though. It's like fuck you You let the guy smoke weed and it's bell. You know, if somewhat reason weed and cigar smoke cigar smokes worse go fuck yourselves It's not it's not it's not. It's not at all. I like smell of cigar smoke better. Of course you do. The weed smokes.

I don't know. Can they fucking fix that? Weed smells skunky. It's too much. It's like you made enhanced it. You made it better. You made it do different things. Now make it not smell like someone's asshole. Yeah, it smells like cat piss.

Yeah. Fucking blows. Hey, that's the humidor I give you. Up there, isn't it? No, yes it is right in the good I gave you I gave you is that it's not the human are you gave me? Where's the one I gave you? All right settled down my is that you thinking of you're choosing me of two different things now you're accusing you that is Ari Shafirs. Oh, that's a worries never mind. Oh wow. I look like the one I gave you from the front I didn't see that part. I would know that I had that custom made for Ari

Did you really? I didn't see that part. I would know that. I had that custom made for Ari. A fan of the podcast made that for me. Made me one for Killbox. And then for his, for his special, I had that made for him. Because he bought me a box of, yeah, right here. Can I see that?

Yeah, here it is. Nature Tech woodworking. He is unbelievable. But hey, bro, you got to fix this cigar box. What happened to it? But it doesn't close. I don't know why. Oh, yeah, that's a big rock. The wood warped Sorry, I thought that was the one I gave you. Where's the one? Yeah, that was hang on a second I don't think that sorry was enough. I apologize. Please do me a favor. So far away and I had to look from the light I know, but you you jump into a ride out of here jump down you and that's the one I get you kind of you know

I did not really I mean we could play the video back. Okay. Yeah, please take that We don't want the fans to see what it says on that. Um, I don't want to divide my fan base Where's the one I was so excited to give you that the one you gave me? Is that my house is it yeah, I 100% do you use it? Yes, I do I Mean if you if you use it, why would you have to think about it? No, because I have... I think it would fit, because there's a lot of humanors

and he's got a big stand-up. I got a lot of, I got a thousand. It's okay if you do. I got a thousand cigars. No, I do. I have a thousand cigars at my house. 1000? Around there, between 800 and a thousand.

It's a nice life. Do you have a bunch too? Oh, not like that. I run low. I'll run out and then I go, I got to order more. I only have a couple things that I let age and the rest I'm smoking as I go. When you're on the road and you get to a new town

and they got a shop, do you go? Oh, first stop. Always. Yeah, always. I, well, like I was saying, when I go, the reason why I came up with that idea, I, when I go to like Tampa and they don't have a, I'll make a place, I'll get a chair,

put a chair out there, give me a table and I make a little lounge that I'll sit out there. I don't wanna be in the green room with a fucking bunch of dough. I wanna be out, relax, and smoke, and a bat. You wanna come with me, come out with me. So in Skankfest, not this year, the year before, I just made a spot, away from the fans in the merch area. I put a couple chairs and then I put a couple more

Yeah, and then you know this year I go we should put that's not true. That's not true. That's not true I said it was the hang it was the hang I was the best hang I said to Christine We got to make a lounge. Yeah, I told her No, I didn't And I call my friend Mo and Steve. Our friends, yeah. Well, my friend first. Yeah, and then mine.

And but my first. That I see more of. I, because you live in Jersey. You're a piece of shit. Yeah. So we called Mo. I know. And then I called and I talked to, uh, he talked to Pete.

Yeah, he talked to Pete. The guy that runs the whole thing. Yeah, Pete Johnson. Yeah, we asked Mo to talk to Pete. No, I asked no, I to, he talked to Pete. Yeah, he talked to Pete, the guy that runs the whole thing. Yeah, Pete Johnson. Yeah, we asked Mo to talk to Pete. No, I asked, no, I, you know, I asked Mo, and we made the connection there. Yeah. And he sent a lot of cigarettes.

And abundance of cigars. Abundance of cigars. All different, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, my father, Tatooai, you know, in that family. So they set up this great thing. I went in the day of and made sure it was all there. I got that day after making sure he set everything up properly. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. What was the code word to get us a car? Mo, stick.

Bad. Dude, I said, we had a code word that we will change for next year. What wait? What do we wait? What do you fucking mean? We it's not the dudes cigar loud just the dude There's one dude. No, it's a dude. How about the dude in the Jew? Yeah, the dude in the Jew and then someone would come out about the Jew dude right away Bobby'd let me know Since I was right now he goes he goes. Oh shit some guy just grabbed this car. We need a cold. You're my you were my muscle. I was the muscle like I I would look at him people kicked out of there. Oh, yeah, that was great

Oh, so they just not all back in the hand were first of all should have been comics only We didn't have a sign up that said comics. Oh, so then some we had artists industry starts coming in And artists, but then these guys from a band come in who've one of the guys from bands has something very off-color to one of the girls She's got a boyfriend or something or a husband. I don't know. All right here. Let me back you up a little bit Yeah, cuz there's a little more of this little more meat on the story than you give it Yeah, I was running the whole thing so I couldn't focus. That's not true. Most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most of them, most I mean, that's crazy. That's crazy. That is named is Syslach.

Ah, I'm of what type of descent is most Syslach? Exactly. Yeah, exactly. That's right. That is a descent. Yeah. It's from it's from over there. So it's the meat on the story. Okay. So we're all sitting there. We're trying to figure this cigar lounge out. Yeah. One girl walks in. Some fucking chick. I don't know. She could have been a comic. I don't know't know walks in with a literally a bong this pig I just know it's just now it's just no no no no no no I went you gotta go yeah she

went what I go that you go you don't smoke that in here this is a guy lounge beat it she goes you serious I go absolutely yeah fucking bye bye make sure and she was man whoever the fuck she was I understand she was a little mad But fuck you. Yeah, this is not potville. Yeah, so I got me here with your cigarettes neither the Santa fucking bingo hall now What if someone came in with a pipe? Yeah, you can sip a pipe. Nice. Yeah, you could sip a pipe. It's all about the aroma That's what I call it Sippin there was a few cigarettes in there. Yeah, you can do a cigarette

Occasional sign. Fine. So now we're sitting in their Joe's there there are a bunch of in there. Yeah, you can do a cigarette. A cigarette is an occasional cigarette. Fine. So now we're sitting in their joes there, there are a bunch of people there. All of a sudden the band walks in. Cool band from long ago. And they were really nice. Fans, comedy, great guys.

But you understand the band has band ego. Of course, band. Yeah. So the drummer is the guy and the Italian guys, you know, they're all kind of, he walks in, He's the motherfucker. He's in the band. They're weird, but he doesn't understand comics. The one thing that musicians, you never get it. You don't get us. No. With damaged goods and we fucking know it. They can't, they can't, they are trying to be something they're not.

We're fucked and we know it. So he walked in and at the room went silent. Yeah. And we were dude, it was like vampires. Yeah. We were all looking at him. He came in just big. Walk in sat down, started yapping.

All the comics, Joe, me, you were there. Yeah. Got quiet. We just looking over at him like this. We were like, they this looking at each other like we're gonna attack. Not now. I mean good. We're gonna calculate. We and then all of a sudden he went a little bit and they said this then he said that then he said something. I was like I shit your face. Nobody cares about you. Did you say that? Yeah. Remember and I started

trashing him and then we all started to this fucking drummer right and we just started making, I go do wear comedians, fuck off. Yeah. And then he, it was like, you can't out, we don't care about cool, we don't care about hair, we don't care about any of that shit. Clearly, look at us. Yeah, I mean, you dressed like a fucking gay Viking. Yeah, fuck, I love it.

I'm just like a, I'm just like a fat, quittin' Tarantino fan. I look like I run a fucking leaf cleanup. You do, you do. You do. You want a business in Connecticut. I know what I look like. This is the best I've looked at.

We don't give a fuck. And then we started trashing him. He took it, but if that, we broke him. And then we were fucking with him. And then he took it too far. He was acting, he was saying something to pre-gotten. He got a little fucked up. I like the guy, but he got a little fucked up.

And Aaron kicked him out. I'm sorry, ratted him out behind his back and had somebody else do it. I like the guy, but he got a little fucked up. And Aaron kicked him out. I'm sorry, ratted him out behind his back and had somebody else do it. Yeah, this guy's gotta go. Yeah. And he went, then some other guy came in and he goes, hey, do you have an extra cigar? He yells at me.

Oh no. And I looked him and I go, no. We're locking it down there. Yeah, no. That's the harshest thing to say. Yeah. Or when someone asks you for a drag of your cigar, well, I have that's called a fucking savage of you.

Who did that? I did a private and Brooklyn the other night. This Puerto Rican dude, really nice guy. But then he comes up, he's like, give me a hit of that man. That's fucking stupid. He doesn't know any. A cigar's like the most intimate of all the things

Yeah, but put a rig and share everything French do they put a rig and share everything I was paying me good to yeah You could buy the chicken wing that a put a rig and bit. You know what I mean? Let me guess I want a chigawin Let me go to piece of that thromstick There's a there's a thank you All right, so anyways next year me and Ari we Ari, we were like, we got to, we actually called up Christine and we're back and we're like, you need, we need somebody at the door because I put a sign up that said, artists only. And then I got, I was like, we, I need somebody to do it. So we had to get a guy. I actually gave him a little cash, put him

at the door. And he had, he had artists only. only. And then if it was an artist toy, he didn't know he would look at me. And I would be like, no, or yep. Yeah, he looked like Bobby, the Bobby look at me, then I would not. It's not true. I wouldn't. Mo appreciated that.

He told me that. Mo who? Sizzlack. Sizzlack, yeah, that's right. I didn't know what you said. I don't know. I quit cigarettes four years ago. Okay. And I'm scared to smoke cigars because I'm afraid I'm going to get back into cigarettes.

But I got to tell you, yeah, I would really love to start because I like the fucking hang. I like the culture of it. I like club mac anuto going and sitting and you can't drink in an old way. Here's a trick to it. You can't smoke little ones. You have to smoke big ones to differentiate from it. But you can't smoke the smoke cigarettes. I did. I spoke a long time and it doesn't. It doesn't at all make you want cigarettes anymore. I quit cigarettes and booze. The same time came on his show and I was real and he goes, what's wrong? You know, I go to quit cigarettes and booze because he can't do both at the same time. And I did. Wow. Yeah.

Now he's wearing a fucking hairy vest. What happened to me? He's going through a minute I meant a nice man to remember of Abba. It's testosterone is 7,000 This is the best time of my life. I fucking love every moment. Is it really fucking? I'm so happy. Why I'm overjoyed Are you on drugs right now? No, too. I'm very I'm very in the Positivity a manifesting shit's coming together. I feel really good. What do you got? What did you book? A movie, a commercial.

What's the commercial? Slomenshield. Oh, tank. No, tanks gone. I'm the guy now. No. Why? Why?

You want more than 40 bucks? Get gone. It isn't that. You took my cigar. I'm just going to free slomenshield. You took tanks commercial and my cigar. They didn't. You took tanks commercial in my cigar. They know you're a fucking bald guy steal. See, it's a fucking.

Who in it? He's playing fucking less. Yeah. Why did you really get his gig? No, I'm they've made. I'm the burglar. So now the burglar is the guy. Thanks.

Can I be the burglar? I'm the burglar. What can I be? You could be in the next one. You could be the cop that show. You give me fucking little guts. You'll get little guts. It's not money. What is no money? Money's okay. It's not what it should be for how big those commercials. Okay, so now you got it You got a commercial you got a movie what's the movie?

It's a really good move. What is it? I can't tell you that Hasn't shot yet. What the fuck dude? What do you mean? It's a comedy alright dude? I got a good 10 pages before I die. Is it a big comedy? It'll be on streaming services. Won't be a movie theater. Is there a big person in it? No, not big, but you would know him.

Really? Yeah. Jim Carrey. Access and L guy. Ex what? SNL. Access, S L. Trouble, say it.

Access and L. Are you sure you're not a drugs access to that guy? Access to sell guy. Access and L guy. Oh, I know it is. Okay. Jim Brewer. No. T.I.D.S.

You fucking loser. What movie would Jim Brewer make? I don't know. Fucking fucking Tifa. There's so many access and L. That's the problem when you go too far, or you delve too much into politics, it's a good fucking, it's a good cash grab for comedy,

but then I think it fucks everything else. I don't think so, I think, here's the thing, I don't have a problem with a, like Jim. I don't have a problem with Jim. Well you do, you told me. No, I don't. The thing is, when I, every cigar lounge, I start up, I run it by him. No. Yeah. You didn't do up, I run it by him. No.

Yeah. You didn't do it. I loved Jim Brewer. No, I'm just saying he truly believes in what he's saying. And he, I don't mind that. No, there's an honesty to it. There's an honesty to it. He said, you know what, fuck this.

I'm just doing this. This is what I believe. And he does it on stage. And he tries to be funny with it. I have no problem with that. I think what he's doing, you know, some people like, stage and he tries to be funny with it. I have no problem with that. I think what he's doing, some people like, fuck and he's lost his mind. Okay, maybe, but maybe he's just living as fucking truth.

And as long as he's not hurting anybody and he's not, he's just trying to make people laugh. Who gives a fuck? I agree. You got a fuck from a comic, then, I mean, you know? Well, you got a bunch of people on, liberal comics or, you know, it's a little bit like a movie. than I mean, you know, well, you got a bunch of people liberal, you know, comics or, you know, you know, doing about right wing guys like you is that you

you got a bunch of what I mean is alternative comics that that they are always over there doing that shit. And I don't give a fuck about that either. It's like, dude, as long as you're being funny, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, you know, it's all the matters. Yeah, it's crazy funny And that's what we're supposed to do. I guess I wish we do it on this podcast. Yeah, no We could restart it's real bust station energy right now. What a restart? Restart what this thing you're gonna turn your vest. No, is this life? Yes, all right edit most of it Why you didn't like it? I'm having a great great. So why you remember the old intro?

Do you remember the old intro? We're like it's a comic hang remember that? Yeah, like that that's what this is hot. I'm a great fucking time. Oh good. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah Fucking love. You're enjoying your life. Are you an ecstasy right now? Have you done? I dress like this whole disclosure. You know your guy max? Yeah to see right now. No. Have you done it? I look dressed like this. Full disclosure, you know you guy Max? Yeah. There's two things you need to know about this. Listen man, I think this guy is a saboteur. Max?

I think he was sent here by somebody. And I just took him this weekend on a gig with me and he had a great set. Come on. I met his mom and I kind of turned to corner with this little fucking Autistic kid, so I hope you're not ruined in something right now. You're taking both these fucking this Bull short bus tour of both things are both me three all three of these guys going look at his eyebrows He looks the most normal at anybody. Yeah, that guy is standing next to Danny He looks like his dad died in 9.11

and he was happy about it. What are you going to tell me about Max? All right, two things. Two things. I get here early because I respect your time. And then I go, where's the bathroom? Because it used to be a bathroom right here. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Danny goes, I'm going to suck you dick in the bathroom. Danny goes, I'm going to suck you fucking fat. Yeah, if you say where's the bathroom he went. I'm going to suck you dick in the bathroom. You can't even go to a suck you fucking fat. You say where's the bathroom he went? My dad's getting bigger by the way. What?

My dick's getting bigger by the way. Why are you touching me with your dick? He pointed and looked and looked. So you have little baby hands. Yeah, the time. Oh my god, you have little baby hands. Look at those. Dude, you dig a that bag.

Look at his shit. It's good. Look at a little baby thumb. Bobby, I'm not kidding. My son has put your hands in. He's at least eight inches now. Really? Yeah. No Bobby. I'm not kidding. My son has put your hands in at least eight inches now really yeah, no way Yes, it's hanging. I can't put one. Yeah, you can turn this way now over this way stand up and turn this way No, it's soft right now get it fluffed up. All right hang on get it fluffed. I want to see it

Yeah, it's the outside of the Danny come here Danny Danny rubby a caterpillar eyebrows on his fucking balls That's a whole day in the city right there. I get here. Oh, you just smelled your balls. Yeah, it's on his hand. I'm good at shower. You don't ever smell your balls. No, all the fucking time. I'm telling you it doesn't smell like nothing bad. No, I know. So I got it. I got a piss. He goes, you can go in my mouth. Max is taking a shit. What?

because you can go in my mouth, max is taking a shit. What? This little guy with his, and then I go in, I gotta cover my nose so I don't smell this fucking kosher Jew shit that he dropped in there with. And then I go to pick up the seat and then it hits me, I'm touching the seat that is hairy. Oh.

Oh. And you're Jewish, that's why you're saying all this. Yeah, yeah. I don't think that's a good point in that qualifier. Roll that up. And then I had to wash my hands. But at Skankfest, someone gave me some microdose mushrooms. And I took some and I gave some to him.

And he took them and he loved them. But then the next day he did some and he did way too many. What happened? Him and a girl were crying. Max, you were crying at Skankfest? No, I only took them one day and I did not cry who cried a girl. Yeah, oh that girl you were with Yeah, that you there was lag. Oh, she took too many shows the thing with Max He fucking shows up at Skankfest, right? I get them in right I get it

Guys warm a little bit I get him You're the same nipples as my aunt Peggy. What? You see your aunt Peggy's in a pool. Not any of business. Like you would look at them when you were young, right? That, that, that, that. Can I say something?

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3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4 calls get him in I show up at the lounge. Yeah, this cock sucker max lounge Most the lounge. Yeah, I look over little max is there all day all night this little fucker Yeah, and brings a guest. Mm-hmm brings this broad with them. Yeah, I don't even know who this broad is Yeah Max who was she? It's a Sabrina Piper Who fuck is that oh? Sabrina Piper. Who the fuck is that?

Oh Sabrina Piper. Where has she been? She's been around in the city for a while. She's done stuff as- Is she a fucking pro? Yeah, she got in, she had the artist pass. What? He said she had the artist. You know what I meant.

I looked over every- This guy's smoking bat after bat after bat. Get a great time. I mean, look at, I gotta give it up to him. And I go like this, I go, did you get spots? Yep. Then Danny, Danny, did you get spots? No, I don't.

I don't wanna ask. Max goes like this, I got him. And Max gets them spots. That little fucker Max is more of a man than anybody. Did he get his name spelt right? Did it when I went on Google daddy does well on stage. Thank you. Yeah Yeah, I went on Google to look up Skankfest the Garlounge and the third picture in is of Sabrina Piper at the Skankfest Gorillope

Break it out. I fucking hate this bitch. I'm so mad at this bitch. Where and then Aaron Brooks below her nice I'm so mad at this bitch. Where? And then Aaron Brooks below her. Nice. This is arena and joy. Yeah, Joe the Rosa. That's you. That's good. You know what? Fucks gang's best and what about Morse? He had a great moment down there. Right? Very controversial. No, I mean listen man, you talked to Morse. It's like, well, it's a big deal. Okay. Just fall. Mm. I'm from Texas. I love it. San Antonio is where he's from.

Yeah. Musha, yeah. Musha little promise. Such a great. You need now. How come you weren't at Skankfest? I was in Florida. Oh, you got to build an ex-skankfest next year.

I was doing shows at Dini Beach. I'm going there next, a couple weeks. Is it? It's a very nice club. You're going to be there. Yeah. Is it nice or is it in improv? No, it's brand new. It's nice. It's not bad. Have you been there? It's not terrible.

I mean, for improvs, it's nice. It's a nice club. Are you going to start wearing that on the road like to the airport? No, not to the airport. Why not? Yeah, to the airport. You don't have, you don't have balls there. Yeah, well, no, you won't.

Yeah, I will. I want you to get one with the star David on the back. I've been wearing a brand. In a different color fur and a blue fur. Yeah, blue, no you won't yeah, I will I want you to get one with the star David on the back I've been wearing a different color fur and a blue fur. Yeah, blue and white I'm gonna get a whole bunch of these. This is the whole thing so you got that on Amazon Yeah, did you do try before you buy? No, you just roll the dice. I just went by Now buy Before you buy I try before you buy

TRR before you be I just a tag on a dick god that's good try before you buy I'm worried by no just do it. I got three things now. I got three first right? They're not first. It's teddy bears. Yeah, they're the it's more of a kids toy. I could buy real first. That's a lot. What do you mean you buy a real You had a nice fur jacket at a wedding. We were both that yeah, that's very nice. What's up with that? Is that a real gold bracelet? Yeah, that's real really. Can I feel it? Yeah Bobby are there things you just won't wear because you think you're gonna look fucking stupid What do you mean like that bracelet bracelet? No, like a cool hat, like, or like something, I don't know. Like you wear it and you're like, I just fucking look dumb.

I'd like to wear a hat that's not a baseball hat, but I feel like it just be too much of a fucking... You gotta take a chance. Halloween, come on. Listen, you know what? Here's a problem with you. That's neck. You ready?

What's the problem with me? I'm a therapy dude. I'm gonna say the problem with you. What's that? Fenyanya. Yeah. Is you don't take risks? Yeah, I take risks. You don't take risks. What risks do you take? You've been dressing the same since I met you. Look at a guy like Big J. Yeah, it's been dressing the same too. No, he's not. He, dude, he went from Black J. Oh, fucking hard rock J.

Now he's a mixture of both. Went from soda J to Bobby J. You know, he went from good J to bad J. Yeah. You know what I mean? He takes risks. Look at this fucking lunatic. Yeah.

He bought a teddy bear vest. Yeah. He's build a bear. Yeah. And you build a burger. And listen, I understand it. You get comfortable. But take a risk. Get a bear. Yeah, and you build a bird and listen, I understand it. You get comfortable But take a risk get a hat. Yeah, get something different. You're a fedora or one of the like Poe boys like like like Patrice's old hat. Yeah, why don't you put that on?

That might be a little too much. Why imagine if you put that on you became Patrice How fucking nuts with that? It's always in the hat. Yeah, it's in the hat. That's what he died. Is that when he wore an elephant in the room? Would you call him the special? Oh, yes. I thought that was a special.

That's where a hat that's not a baseball hat. That's a big hat. That is a big fuck. You could do a different hat. You know what you could do? That's an easy one. Remember those backwards Samuel Jackson hats? The can't, the, the, yeah, like a can. You know what they make that? I's an easy one. Remember those backwards Samuel Jackson hats. The kank the, the, yeah, like a kangaroo.

You know what they make now? I'll take a, I will those for why? You know what they make now? They make a Fedora baseball hat. Come on. Type that in. Remember that, uh, Max? Yeah. Let's find that guy. Yeah. Find that guy. I'm dude a Fedora baseball. You should get one. Dude, I'll do it. You need to do that. You, that, you would, with that vest. Yeah. Oh, man. And that cock. Yeah, cock is feeling good. You should get the cock of Fedora. Yeah. What? Wait a minute. That's that's he brought up the wrong. Please don't bring shit up until you have it. You fuck face. That's the one down there. I bet. Adler Fedora hat. The one that's got like a the one down there, I bet. Adler Fedora had the one that's got like a keep to get it off the screen. And so it's up. You a fun. Do you know the sense of comics work? You

bring stay like shiny shit. So we're talking. Then you bring shit up and like, uh, I've got it. Then Max did mushrooms for the fourth day in a row. And he was fucking shooting heroin. Yeah. Max actually got raped. That's gangfest. He did. Was that a show? God, that's such a cool festival. He got raped by that guy. Moe. What's his last name? Says Lack. Says Lack. Fucking stuck it right in his butt. Says Lack. Are you a Matt? Are you as Matt is rich boss at everything that's going on? It's a little upset. It's terrible. It's a lot of, if you take a break from it, you're okay,

and you know it'll pass in a little bit, but it's just, it's a little disturbing. It's terrible. It's a lot of, if you take a break from it, you're okay and you know it'll pass in a little bit, but it's just, it's a little disturbing to see how prevalent. A lot of people don't like Jews. A lot of people don't like Jews. And I didn't know it was that many people. I didn't know it was that many people. I didn't know it was the crazy part. That's a little disturbing.

But most of the people in our circle are pretty cool or they don't say anything about it. We don't say anything. I mean, they don't say anything about it. We don't say I mean they don't say everything They don't Now you've been Jewish the whole life whole life. How do you like it? It's I like the the beat the corn beef. Can we do a Jew off between you two to see who's more Jewish? You know I'm not Jewish right I When did Max fucking fuck that up on the list?

He also said I had a podcast called jamcast, which I maybe did seven episodes of an 88. And I haven't done one. You did a podcast in 88. 88. You had a time machine. 98, 88. Did you find the hatch to make it? No, let's do a Jew off.

I'm not Jewish, but I'll bet all questions for a Jew off if you want to do it. Yeah, we will. We'll do it. I actually bring up the hat first. You fucking assholes. I respect you. Look at that.

Look at that. Look at that. You got to get one of those. This guy's great. He's looking to go scroll down. Scroll down. Let's show him the one that who does this. So to see he's he was at my show on Saturdays and artists and he makes all this stuff.

Okay. Let me ask you this though. Go to all the posts. Do I we can't because I Can't we're not logged in which is why I was trying okay, so look at that one click on that one Yeah, I can't make I was oh wow. Why can't you log in I was doing it But then you said pull it up now, so I just did this well don't panic it actually communicate to me and say hey You know, I thought you said I'm okay spider. I thought you said okay spider. I'm okay spider

Here's a problem with these guys. They don't communicate I thought you said okay spider. I'm okay spider. Here's a problem with these guys. They don't communicate Fuckin autism. There's a lot of problems. They should communicate. The communication would be the thing that they do best. Yeah, just repeating shit I'm not logged in yet not logged in not logged in log in and now if I order one Yeah, then am I gonna be like remember I bought like one of your shirts and some guy goes a Aaron Berg just bought one of your shirts And you go, oh, I could have just gave it to him. Am I gonna buy this hat and then find out I could have gotten a for a better deal through you?

You find out, I know why the dude, people don't like the juice. You see that? I just want the juice off. You did. I just won't question. No, you got points, but you didn't win. All right, I would win.

Sometimes I wish I was Jewish. You are Jewish. I don't think there's a- Your last name is Fanyanju. Fanyanju? Fanyanjaberg. Jumanji. I, uh, I don't, I didn't grow up with any culture.

I don't have any like heritage history. What the fuck are you talking about? Nobody gave a fuck about it. What are you? Maybe I was white, no, I'm Italian in Norwegian. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Ugh. Ugh, just a fucking boring. Ugh. More points for me in the Jewel-Off. Yeah. But like, we didn't have any like, nor like Viking heritage. We didn't have any fucking, no. None of that. What do you go?

What was your big holiday? You have like heritage, they do. Yeah, I got Sicilian. Yeah. Yeah, but I know. I got Sicilian. I got the donlands too from Ireland. Yeah.

There were slaves. Okay. And I got Sicilian. Yeah. I do too. Butlands too from Ireland. Yeah. There were slaves. Okay. And I got Sicilian. Yeah. I do too, but we didn't care. You have Sicilian? Yes. You want me to see my thing?

No. What is it? I don't see 23 of me. Yeah. I have a little bit of, I did it as a, I got a little Oscar Nazi Jew. Everybody's got that shit. Like point two.

What is up with that? Yeah, what is, everybody's got Oscarie Jew? The Jews did so much rapin I don't know. I don't know why there's an Aussie Jew and I'll everybody has it a little tiny bit Yeah, what the fuck is that? Wow Less people should be anti-Semites right now. Yeah. Oh imagine all more Semites real work that we have awesome meeting on Thursday. We're gonna figure out Oh, please don't. Please listen, for a, he's gonna get hurt.

Why? Because he's gonna get, there's gonna be a group of people. He's gonna say something. He's gonna think that he still gots it. His hip's gonna pop. He's gonna be, he's gonna, then there's gonna be a bunch of fucking palestin' people kicking him in the fucking ribs.

And you're gonna have to drag him out with that coat. You're gonna have to scare them with that coat. This coat, just for the coat on. You have to put the hood on and cut eyes out. And like, ah, if Sasquatch. Remember when Rich kicked the guy in the ribs? Yeah, that was a comic. Yeah.

I remember when he kicked Keith in the back. Really? What are you signing into, you fucking mother? He kicked Keith in the back? I mean, how long? I mean, is it me now? I mean, it's Instagram. I mean, he could have just signed a fucking could have forgot his past. Let me see. Marcoso life.

How much? That's kind of like 60 bucks. I'm guessing 60. What's the other one? Showing me other one. It's got to make some. I did my password. So I pull it up on my phone. You know what? I fucking I hate you. I got a phone. I hate you. Honest of God. No, dude. Don't do it. We're done. He ruined it. He ruined the bit with his fucking lack of horse. Yummy. We and we people DM me. Hey, can I help you with this podcast? The people you have working for you have fucking numbscalls. These guys love you. They look up to you. I love those guys too. I really do. Max. I mean if you got to get real I didn't know you're gonna get real. I thought we're gonna trash him a little bit. Hey, I want to do a Jew off. Can really do. Max. I mean, if you got to get real, I didn't know you're going to get real. I thought we're going to trash him a little bit. Hey, I want to do a Jew off. Can we do a Jew off? Dun dun dun.

Dun dun dun. Ready? Can I produce this segment? No, please, play some Jewish music. Alright, play some. It's going to take 25 minutes. It's so easy with intense seconds. You should have half an a gila. Dun dun dun dun dun. Bum bum bum bum. Bum bum bum. And goAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM B What? YouTube. No, I thought you said you're on okay spider.

That's Star Wars. Sat Jewish. What is this? George Lucas. What is this? Is it not Huffin McGeele? No! Oh, this is fiddle in the roof.

You're fucking weirdo. I don't have 20 minutes to get through this shit. I'll stop playing the fucking drum bone part. Same thing. Play the Jew part. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to... You know what dudes, first annual Jewel? I'm your host, Robert Kelly.

I had a Jewish foster father for three years, Ken Lazarus, and I worked in a Jewish camp, Camp Power Crest for a whole summer, teaching little Jews how to swim. Wah, ah, ah, ah. Why you turned into the count? I don't know. Today's Jewel brought you by Moe Sliznik Sagarz.

Moe Sliznik for all your Sagar needs. And cats, delis. If you want a sandwich, go to cats. And Russ and daughters on Houston Street for all your gross fish needs. Pump down and get the Superju for only 8.15. It's a beautiful sandwich made from herring salmon, pickled onions, and pappernical bread. And the rest of the podcast has been sponsored by Lenny Marcus.

Lenny Marcus Lenny, Lenny, Lenny Writing for people and sometimes I do stand up as well Lenny Marcus for all your butt mitts for needs And today we have of course my contestants Aaron Berg and Mike Fenyanya Hey, Berg Good job, his Robert Mazel Taf, Shabbat Shalom Shabbat Shalom

Shabbat Shalom, Adonal Shalom. Shabbat Shalom. Adonal Empatari Co. Amote Lech. Amingohor. Yes. Whoa, you win. Okay, here we go. First question to it's for everybody. For everybody. First you hit it and then you hit it. Go. What is a small thing that annoys you way more than it should? My penis. That's good. A schmutz on my lapel. Ooh. Bobby, do you want to go to?

Yeah. My wife. Take her please. LeBank. You go question number two. What's the answer? Oh, uh, Bobby went. I won't.

I won't wade you. I won't clash with went clashed. What's on my lapel wasn't Schmutz was good, but a Jew wouldn't get Schmutz on his lapel. No, that's a Catholic guy thing. Yeah, well question number two You go to a restaurant the bill is $56 nothing Complain Who won a tax it's too much Send it back. I didn't know what it is. I don't want to come here again. You call us raw raw It's not what it used to be She put a pure becarin my soda

We're persecuted How dare you did you see the way she rubbed the nose at me like I have a big nose? I think you win. It was a question. What's how much are you tipping? Nothing. Send it back. Why would I tip? I paid for the meal.

56 dollars I would round it up to 65. I would never come back. She walked over to the table and dropped something. Didn't say hello. Didn't just put the menu down. Root. Root. I mean like I was a you know what.

You know what? You know what. You know what. But you all had the same answer. Root. Treat me like I was a you know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? But you all had the same answer. So it's a draw. All right, there we go. Bobby won. That's nothing.

Okay, here we go. Uh, how do you feel about the studio? Is it too hot to call it? Do you feel it? It's always too hot and too cold. I think it's too cold. I'm stressing and it's too hot. I agree with Harry.

It's hot and cold. I can't get it right. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold. Yes. Too much of either. I tell you what, the stairs are too much. Too many stairs. Put it on. Well, they have an elevator here.

You could have an elevator here. Isn't the guy that owns it. He's rich. You don't need an elevator. There's too much electricity. He's rich. He's got seven, nine clubs. You don't put an elevator in the original club.

I mean, he's got enough money for a helicopter to bring us up. Oh, come on. I mean, he's gonna have money for a helicopter to bring us up. Oh, come on. I mean, he talked about you. Drew! Drew! Drew! How'd you bless you?

Thank you. Originally, I was gonna vote for Finoia because he said, I'm switching. Because he said, and then he did something original and stuck with it. I like it. That's it.

But then, sometimes less is more. But then, Berg was the first one to go, to go elevator, which was changing in a little bit and I look that too so I'm gonna just vote for both of them and leave Bobby. Yeah, so that's one one one one one one one one On the jewel the number that my grandfather the head for the forum That wins wow He was in the first 200 Wow He was in the first 200. Jesus. Wow.

They took him early. We were ground breakers. What did you do last year to celebrate tubeless fought? I went tubing. I had some scoffelto fish. I gave you a shot. And I said, Ioffel to fish. I gave you a shfat. And I said the amote. We had a very special meal.

My wife made brisket and we also had potato lotkas. And we had a great time and we danced and we sang. And we said my daughter's name in Hebrew. And then I'm like, you eat mommy what tubush-fad is? tubush-fad is when you take your wife's wig and you comb it six times on one side, six times on the other and then you wash it Very good and then you spit on the top of it and put it back on the thing and pray to God and then stick it on her

Well, you have sex with her through a sheet and she looks to the left and to the right and And then to the right and then you have a meal And then do the right and then you have a meal. Tubish fat. And the fish were good, tubish fat. Tubish. And for that, you had brisket. And we had brisket. Brisket.

And then you stick it in a tubish fat. Tubish fat? And then your tubish is farting. Oh. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Oh, you know what? Bobby gets that one.

Bobby gets that one. Calm her wig six times to the left. Six times the right. Then wash it. And spit on it. Yeah. That's a one. Yeah, Bob, you're following. Calm her wig six times to the left. Six times the rate, then wash it, and spit on it. Yeah, that's a tuba. You're stupid, Wig. Hey, that's what you yell. And then you go to be an H and buy her a camera. This is for you.

I'm so you're a week. There's an external hard drive. You walk into Walmart. No, never. What are you not? What is wrong with you? Who does that? That's selling trends. Whoa, never what is wrong with you selling trends Crazy

Bikini Trying to get Abel b's next Jesus Chili's Harriet you hear him look at this I'm going to every place in the strip mall. I have no class. Oh my god You think we're boo. What do we next we go TJ Max? Are we put on he we Spanish? No, we are doing seven accents. So you walk into Walmart. There's one 32 ounce container of chicken broth for one dollar Not a seven cents and there's one 48 ounce container of chicken broth for three dollars and 66 cents. What is the better deal? I would get three of the 48. I would just buy the Walmart.

Because it's the most... The number 48 times three, there's an 8 in it for certain, which is good luck, which means I would... I would open one of the chicken broth, put it on the floor, slipped fall, and I'd own all the chicken broth. And the winner is... Yeah, bar. Hobby Kelly.

It's for Tracy Morgan, it's gonna work for me. I wouldn't get the 100 million, but I'd surely get 30,000. They give me something. That's a lot of broth. I'll settle before the surgery. I'm gonna get something. Yeah.

Yeah. I want one of those ACDC shirts and all the chicken brother I can use. Ha ha. I want 10 scrub daddies. And you're gonna pay my tolls. And we're good. So the winner of that one was Bobby, which means you win.

We have one more question. Even though you win, we're gonna do the last one. Sure. Make this question 20 points. Oh, it's a big one. Okay, that's a good idea. All right. So fuck, of course it's a good idea.

Fuck everything up till now. Yeah, because it's not a real game. So yeah, we can do whatever we want. This is not a game, this is about our country. This is about our country, we are in crisis. I gotta channel that point to Ascanology for this one. Final question is complained about something each one of you for 30 seconds, starting with Mike.

My wife won't, oh sorry. Oh, sorry. I tell you, the heat in this room, to make him each fits, I feel like shit. I got to stare at these muscles and this guy's head, and I feel like shit, 30 seconds is a long time. Yeah, keep going. Yeah, my wife, she doesn't like to fuck. She doesn't make the brisk hit anymore.

She doesn't even respect my 2% askin' azi. Everything's expensive. I'm a... Hamas and... Hamas, oh my friends. He just... Ah! It's like Instagram.

Hamas and... Yeah, that's hard. Second one, we're gonna go Bobby. Yeah, same thing. Yeah, 30 seconds. Ah, among the saw Millet takes forever. There's two lanes, make it three. I can't come down.

I, you know, COVID might be coming back, but I don't care. You know, I go to the mall. My wife wears a wig. I have a mini van. Everybody has mini van now. We had mini van now. Everybody has a mini van. And now all the news, CNN, and then Fox,

and Trump's coming back. And I don't know what to do. I mean, here you rip the okay It put it bits a kidnap kid. Why do you got a rip it down? Just leave it? It's a kidnap. I mean do you gonna go to a milk bottle and rip it off the side of the milk bottle? You know it's That's good milk and birth. I was in business with this guy. We come up with this idea We're gonna have cigars. We're gonna have this big thing and everybody's all excited to have this big thing that my partner steals my idea he reaches out the mole lip shits and the mole is like most is like very upset

got to go to Vegas for this thing Vegas it's hot and it's a dry heat it's not even like this heat and you're in a hotel and they go you want to stay at the golden nugget and I said you spelled that and we're wrong. I'm not staying at that hotel You better put me in the nice one. So I go to the nice hotel and I go to the gym, but it's not a real gym Wow, I mean you're a Jew Jewish I can't say Jew anymore Michael Rappaport Oh me no, no, he didn't say that. Oh, he did a whole thing on his face. I can't say personally to you or to you. No, two out of this thing.

Did you see that? What do you know? No, I'm going to see him next week. I'm doing a show with him together, unfortunately. And we'll say, you don't like him? He's a great dude. What's wait a minute? What's wrong?

I didn't like his stance on some stuff. Like what? Judy is him bringing us together. Well, here's the thing. I mean, he just said, COVID was real. Wait a minute. COVID wasn't real.

Now what? I heard this from a whole bunch of guys. Dude, I got a COVID is real tattoo. I got a COVID is real tattoo. What the fuck? I got to get that COVID is real. COVID is real. I have it on my ass cheek.

I saw him and he was wearing a mask after it was over and he was out front on the stand and I go, what are you doing? The thing, man. Is that after before he slapped that Jew in the face right before? Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, so that was the night. You pissed them off.

I don't know if that was the night. It was around that. Was he yelling at Ari with a mask on? No, I think he took the mask off, but he was wearing a mask when it was kind of weird to wear a mask. Right. But that's all. I mean, I've never really talked to the guy that much, but he seems like a nice enough guy. I like him in Copland.

He was a great actor. He was a role man. He was phenomenal. He was great. He was great in Copland. He was also, what's the other one he was great in? Um, um, um, the fucking, uh, Oh, the white supremacist thing.

Yeah. Oh, and he was, he was also great and justified. American. You ever see him in justified? He played a fucking red neck and justified. Woo, he's a great actor. He's a great actor, but here's the thing. Yeah, he just did a whole thing and not you can't say

Jew anymore. You say Jewish. Why? Because he has a... Ah, because he's mad at Ari still. Is that why? He's the same Ari special as Jew. No, it's because the guy guys like me from Boston going Jew.

Wait, he's legit Matt and Ari saying like that. Yeah, see, it sounds bad. I think he has a point, right? I don't mean it. But you just monotone Jew. No, it's only got tugboat. I don't, I don't, I think he has a point though, cause people with New York accents and Boston,

they asked him, Hey, what's up, Jew? You can't say it. What's up, Jew? Jewish. Jewish. The ish. In the Ish on certain people. What's up, light and a little bit. Jewish. What's up, Jewish man? Like that sounds very, uh, I love the word Jew though. It's such a great word. It's a good word. Yeah, but you know, there was another great word we have to stop using. But listen, oh my God. What? He has a point. Yeah. And that coach really making you weird.

He does have a point. That coach really draws me in. I mean, language evolves. And I think because, you know, and when people feel persecuted, they don't want that word. But it's also like, then people are like, oh, you can't make jokes about that.

You know what I mean? That's the same thing. Yeah. It's just words. You should be able to use those words. No, I think we just did. I said, June 9, these seven times. yeah, and I said it with my Boston accent. Jew. Yeah, I'm not and then you yeah I mean you were a little bit. No, I wasn't you felt it doesn't bother me. You

You could stop Does Mike is right rap point right? I'm like rap a port is right. You need to watch this, Jewish. Just stop it, Jewish. I saw the ante did, unlike I've never been more proud to be Jewish. I've never. And it looked like it was reading it. Well, he probably was. Maybe he wrote it.

Yeah, dude, you can't just he wrote it. Yeah. Wow, I just memorized that. I know, but dude, some people, you know, you know, he was a true romance. He can memorize that. I don't want to talk that a lot. I don't want him to come up and slap me at the club.

If he slapped you, what would you do? I'd probably fight him by his hand. No one's he came up the guy. If someone slapped me, I'd fight them back. Are you gonna be wearing that cone in the back? I wouldn't just go dude, what? What? What what did Ari do?

Oh, this video of it somewhere. Can I take is it really? Yeah, I've seen the video. No, yes, stop it. The club has it. Get me the video. Oh, it's I've seen the video. No. Yes, stop it. The club has it. Get me the video. It's not out in the open. I don't think you can find it.

I don't think it's a big open palm slap. It walked up and you see them, and then you reached over someone's stuff. And yeah, it was a slap. Like he made come out. But here's the thing with Ari. That literally, that's like electricity to King Kong. Yeah, you're right.

He loves it. Oh, I made you get physical. Oh, I fucking put you on tilt to where you actually got physical. I fucking all please hit me again. That's a W. Yeah, to Ari. That's why Ari's fucking King and that left for jumped in the middle of it. Because love was like, oh, there's gonna fuck a dude. I love him here. I love him. He was called him fat without saying he's fat. He's a good kid. Yeah, he's not fat. I love him too. He's a good kid.

He's getting fatter. Yeah, dude. What are you gonna do? You get fat or you get skinnier? Yeah, he could, he was a good looking kid when he was skinnier. Well, I hate when people say that. Why? Because I used to be great looking.

You were gorgeous. You could be looking. Dude, are you out of your mind? Dude, I'm sitting right next to you. Buddy, this is a fucking 10 right next to you. Oh, a 10, me. I'm a dime right now. You take out the bag.

You're an old dime. Did you take out the bag? No, you're not even a buffalo nickel. A buffalo nickel. Take out the bag. Buffalo, a buffalo. You made me angry. I'm short.

Keep going. Yeah, all those things. That's a 10. You're not a 10. Yeah, you just take three things away I'm still 10, but you first of all you're not a 10 got a Dodge Ram that bumps me up Good truck a new one with the big Chris Green. Yeah, you're that's a new country cranking out of that thing I saw a lawn order Bobby the other day. Yeah lawn order body was sexy. Come on dude lawn Which one though with air Yeah, lawn order body was sexy. Come on. Dude, which one, though? With hair?

Four different lawn order bodies. You're on four? You did four lawn orders. I did three different ones. It was the one when in the beginning, they came to your apartment and they had to look around. Oh yeah, when the old lady broke in. Oh yeah, that was my first lawn order.

That was hair when I had the gorgeous curly. How excited were you when you got that? It was great, great money. Really great money really because you get paid forever How many days one day? Oh you get it was one day in New York. I took a cab to set. Yeah film it the fuck out Here's why law noters awesome when you go in for auditions They only audition a few people. Yeah, and you know within the hour if you got it. Yeah Oh no, so before you they auditioned at Chelsea Pierce and when you before you get to your house You got to come back for wardrobe. Yeah, and you're cuz you're they needed to go can I tell you when I booked mine? Yeah, the story. Yeah, I didn't have a visa. I had an old one. I had no one visa. I didn't have a green card

I went I auditioned they go you got you got the part Hmm, you need your green card important. I got a one visa. It was how call you back Can't have the job. What was the part? Was it the one I got no, I was gay dude down on the Chelsea Pierce and The cops are coming by and like oh you got to go down there. There's a whole bunch of guys butt fucking down But the Chelsea but you got to keep the wardrobe. Yeah, that's awesome That's fucking great, dude. That's cool part of it, right? Holy shit, all right. We have questions for you guys. Did you find any of that? Are you sure fear stuff?

I couldn't but I found this this is a Michael Rappler were getting hit in the face with the snowball wall being my Instagram life Yeah, but this isn't real I make it big. It's a still photograph right now. No, it's it's he's he's yeah, there's a video, but I don't know. I was play With this cancel culture That's fake that's gotta be fake no, it's fake. That's his friend and the whole thing shut off, shit, shut the fuck off. That's fake. That's gotta be fake. No, it's fake, that's his friend.

That's the kitty hangs out with who's pretty funny. Him and this kid, I always thought it was his son, but it's not. It's a, I think he's like a, he's like an actor and whatever. It's very funny because they have a very tenacious, is that a word? Tenacious. Yeah, they have a very tenacious relationship and they a word? Tenacious. Yeah. They have a very tenacious relationship. And they're funny together and they yell at each other. It's actually I'm a fan of Mike Rappaport.

You know what I mean? So when like when he left, um, a bar stool, what? That's the R E tweet. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I already did. You know, look it. That was from what 2020. Oh that was the basketball thing. Yeah. You're afraid to say it. Say it. Kobe. Yeah. Fucking nervous and Ellie. Kobe. Crazy. Crazy. Anyways. I like my rap port but he did. He's very opinionated but I don't like people get physical man. I don't like that he smacked. I don't like my report, but he did you look he's very opinionated, but I don't like people get physical man

I don't like that he smacked I don't Shouldn't be getting first of all what I've done it to if if somebody Can I say something? Yeah, were you there when he smacked Ari? No if you were there. What were you have done? What are you guys doing? What's going on? I'm glad you would have protected him. Those are two I mean I would probably would have protected him. Those are two tall dudes. I would probably would have run and been like, hey, come on.

I would have fucking... I mean, I would expect to see a fight though. Did Ari swing back? No. I just don't like, look, if you're gonna hit somebody, hit them, don't slap them. Because that's some weird shit.

You know what I mean? It's like condescending. Yeah, it's like, you don't want to punch them. I got slapped once. It makes you feel like a bitch. Yeah, it's like you don't want to punch him. I got slapped once. It makes you feel like a bitch. Yeah, it makes you feel like a bitch. It's worse than getting punched. It's very French.

You also feel like they accidentally bought zero here when they do it. Oh, that's right. Ah, it's ringing. Stop. It's the word. Stop it. Ow.

Oh, you're that guy from that movie. Why would you do that? I love doing true room. Fucking still ringing. Ow, ow, you're that guy from that movie? Why would you do that? I love doing true, Roman. Fucking still ringing. If he slapped any of us, it'd be a sucky thing for us, because we want to hit him back. He fucked up by slapping the only person that loves it.

Yeah, he loves it. And think about, and Ariel just put that in the back pocket. No, he, he loved it. He got a box of shit or something. No, he won't get it. He loves it. He loves it. All right. Let's say I got questions for you guys. You ready? Yeah. Here we go.

Kirk G. Poncho Mike. Hey, you're a hippie. It's a bonfire thing. Yeah, but you love fish and grateful dead, right? Yeah, I love other things. Look, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, but you say it with such a condescending tone. Because they suck. They don't suck.

Okay. All right, the grateful dead. Anyway, yeah, punch your mic. No, no, no, no, no, no, we gotta get in this. No, no, no, no, no. Do you like the grateful dead? No, really, when I was younger, I tried to. Would you just fucking have a,

did your blood sugar drop, your fucking asshole? What happened to you? You're talking about the Grateful Dead. I'm just, I don't like the Grateful Dead. All right. I liked Sugar Magnolia. I liked the idea of smoking weed and I would watch this one concert that they had on VHS

where there'd be like all these weird visuals and you'd get high and watch it and you'd be like this. All right, you gotta tell me what songs, three songs I listen to to get into the Grateful Dead? Cause you know what, I used to not like avocados and I love them now. Truckin'. Yeah, truckin'.

How's that go? Truckin'. Hey, I'm a chibscat. I'm fuckin' hey to put all this truckin'. I'd say, you know, touch a great, no, we listen to touch a gray on a, how's it go? Touch a gray was pretty good, like know, touch a great. No, we listen to touch a gray on how's it go? Touch a gray was pretty good. I will get by

BD do do do we let's do it on bonfire. You hated it too stupid. Um, I don't know, man. Maybe shake down street you'd like. I'm gonna listen to it. Shake down street. Uh, there's a bunch. I'll make you a mix. I want that. I will make me a mix. I'll make you a mooch. Pacho. Yeah. Pacho Mike. Great new special. Thank you. Aaron 25 sets ruled. Thanks, man.

Thanks. That's your special. 25 sets. 25 sets. You did 25 sets. In one night, yeah. One guy did 25 sets in eight minutes. Yeah, he didn't just the five. That's why that's why I relate to that.

If someone did 26, I'd be pissed off. It's just such a dick thing. It's a dick thing. Yeah. Especially when you're not known. Yeah. Thanks for watching the special. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Any plans to put it out on YouTube anytime soon? Mine's on YouTube. So he's not talking to you. Probably talking to the nice. Yeah. Uh, no.

It is on punch up live right now though, right? Oh yeah, you know what I'm gonna tell you, Aaron Berg stands down as on punch up live. Punch up punch up dot live is the new place. It's awesome. If you want to put your shit and not have it taken down and get, you know, your fans, you know, email so you can tell them where you're going to be, what you doing. It's a good place to go. Yeah.

How are we doing on the emotional? Danny, how are we doing on Punch Up Live? Great, great. It's lovely. Okay, so you should put it on Punch Up Live too. Okay, I'll do that. You should. Jay.

Yo, Berg. Yo. I'm trying to be Jay. Yo, Berg. Yo, Jay. Can you tell us some of your best stealing and thieving stories? Yeah, I was really you you were a piece of shit. The night I got arrested, we're at Wilson and Avenue Road in Toronto. Me and all my friends

from Scarborough, Perch Mountain, Shepherd area. And we go around and we had these spark plugs. So we break the spark plugs, get the porcelain from the spark plugs because it breaks the windows Walk up to the window throw through the window tap the window. Shh no noise You know where I learned about that my kids baseball game around three years ago. We're all at the game Yeah, came out nine cars were broken into oh shit nine cars yeah And they stole purses out of all the cars. Yeah. And I'm going to tell you that nobody heard any great baseball game to watch. I love it.

Kids did great. Max at home or that game. No, he didn't. Max never hit a home wherever Max was not that into baseball. He was he was actually mostly in the fucking stands, talking to people. They're going guys, let's go. Let's do it. The seventh inning snatch. He was actually mostly in the fucking stands, don't gonna be bull. And go, guys, let's go, let's do it. The seventh inning snatch. It was more focused on the cars that game.

I wasn't really. It made me so happy if it was you breaking into the cars and that vest. In that vest. And a mat, like a fucking ski mask. With Michael Rappaport, you're both a mask mask. And then you slap the car. Smash the car.

We got like some checks out of this one car. And the guy leaned set the window. He's like, hey, what the fuck? And we're like, fuck you, buddy. No, he wasn't going to get us. We ran. We went to the McDonald's. And then the cops came in the McDonald's.

I was the only white kid there. And they came in. And they saw all the guys. And they go, you know, with these guys, are you? And they go, yeah, those are my buddies. And then they arrested all of us. Took a sandwich. So if you said no, you wouldn't have gone arrested. You fucking asshole. And you run those are the moments you

run back in your head when you're locked up. Yeah, you go fuck that fucked up. You fucked up. And it wasn't even the thing you did bad that you're fucked up. You think about that later, but you're like, I could have gotten away. Last time I got arrested, we, I mean, literally got fucked up. I think I had a half a bottle of white label, Scotch, some weed, and I think three tall boys, but why is it? And then we did wippets. And then we stole the gumball machines,

and then we sat out in front, in this car. And I'm like, what are we doing? Because I was just fucking dumb, not criminals, because I wasn't upstate New York, spent support New York, not Boston, or good criminal. And they were like, we got to go. And I, the cops came, they were coming. And I, I just started running on the tracks. And I should have ran the other way, because the other way there was no roads, it'd be hard to get through. They'd have to get on the track. And I should have ran the other way because the other way there was no roads would be hard to get to that. I have to get on the track. I went the left way, which was all houses. So they just went on the parallel side, saw me, and then I hopped

the fence when they saw me going through the yard and they stuck a gun on my face and took me away. And then I could have admitted it. They were like, just tell us what you did. We'll go light on you. And I was like, no. Nothing. Because your friends are going to rat you out. I go, no, they won't. And they go, all right, you fucking done.

And they opened the door and they were just signing away everything and they ratted me out and they were crying. No. And I went to jail and they got to go home. Yeah. Yeah, sucks. I was going to a concert, my turn, my turn. I was going to have a concert.

And, anyways, there I was, I was like, we got pulled over and there was this one guy that had like a hockey bag full of drugs. Real ones in tons of her. Mosaslek. Mosaslek was there. Mosaslek was there. And I had my backpack, I had drugs.

My buddy got out of mushrooms and weed and a little bit of ecstasy pills. Okay. My buddy gets out of the car, he's got mushrooms in his hand. Looks this way, sees a cop, throws the mushrooms that way, didn't see another cop. The bag of mushrooms just hits him in the hip and just fucking, whoa, whoa, whoa car, I'll let you go. And I knew there was tons of drugs everywhere. Steering wheel.

Yeah, I'll break pedals. I go that backpack's mine and it's got much better than it. There's a Mexican woman with nine vials of fucking heron or asshole in the truck. And I go, I'm not ratting and we all got arrested. He said, I'm not ratting. No, I said, I'm not, I don't know what's in there. I go, that bag's mine.

I'll take responsibility for it. The rest is on you. And you got to round all of it and we all got arrested What'd you how much time do you do I didn't do time. I got probation paid a $1,200 fine and probation and Maine And I call the female judge sir Well, you try to be you try to give her the proper pronouns. I didn't know I was at it at my time

No, you're my man. Yo, I am a woman officer. That's what woman That's what even when when women that look like men was still women. Yeah, I am a woman Reg J Aaron with two A's have you kept in contact with hot chocolate? Is he still stripping? He's dead He died Jesus Christ. We did the 1997 Mr. Canada together. We were both in the lightweight. He beat me and Then he died about a year and a half after he was real sauce for that show So what it would have been the steroids and shit hard heart attack. I'm a little nervous for you doing all the shit

Cuz you had a heart. Hey, I didn't have a heart attack. You went to the hospital Yeah, I went to the hospital. I was near almost had a stroke,. I didn't have a heart attack. You went to the hospital. Yeah, I went to the hospital. I was near, almost had a stroke, but I didn't have a heart attack. I'm sorry. From what? I apologize. I have heart disease in my family, apparently. And then my stress level was high, you know, it was...

Is it from the tea? No, the tea's fine. And everything's great with tea. Well, so it was just because you're genetics? You remember where I was working at the time. I was dealing with a lot of shit where I was working. Yeah. And then, uh, yeah, that.

So that's what did it. I came back from Chicago. I was like, oh, yeah. Those guys came back and it was that night. Oh, you had, oh, yeah. We smoked a cigar in Chicago in that place. Yeah, we did. That trip.

Yeah. We had a little talk. Yeah. And there was, uh, it was. And, we had a little talk. Yeah, and that was that was and now you love your life again. You're back. Yeah, it took a while. Took a while, but you're back. Yeah, welcome back. Thank you, man. It's good to be back. It's nice to be back on the show. Susie Greenberg. That's this is for me. This one's for me. Aaron. Yes. Good job, Susie. It's my favorite fish.

Mike, do you sleep lengthwise or diagonal in your bed? When I'm alone, I sleep diagonal in my bed. When she's there, I sleep lengthwise. Buddy, I do the same thing. What is that? I like my space. Yeah, but I think it's something else. What do you think it is?

I think it's that I. What do you think it is? I think it's that I love. Gayness. Says the man wearing the furry vest. I tried before I buy. I think you just buy. Hey. I sleep diagonal in my bed. I do too.

What about you? When she's there, I sleep like, even when she's not there, I still just stay in my sleep. You sleep upside down. Yes. I drink three guys over from the job. I bought Jovey rest stop.

Oh, I'm gonna sleep in that. Good rest stop. It is a great rest stop. It is a great rest stop. So happy he's got a rest stop. Is that where you're at? On the way to Point Pleasant, I hit there. Oh yeah.

I got your spot. I don't live that south, but no, that's a nice rest stop. It is a nice rest stop. Yeah, it's a fucking great. It's nice that Jersey does that. And they play Jovey outside. Yeah. Is that the only state that does that? They've dedicated every rest of it.

I'm not a used to work on the dog. I'll grab some chips. How many dads are like, what were halfway there? So if I did it in a truck. Oh man. Did we get you to exactly a truck? Uh, what did I do?

By a guy. Oh, hang on. Hang on. Let me think. All right, listen. No, not in the truck yet. I've been fucking my wife in the bathrooms of the truck yet. I've been fucking my wife in bathrooms of the comedy club. I've been fucking my wife in the

What's wrong with you? That's just what we're doing now really yeah, so if you're at a club with your wife You're gonna be in the bathroom fucking at some point done a couple you know, I like you like to let people watch No, we came close a week ago really Really? We went to this birthday party in PA in Philly for her friend. Yeah. And one of her friends is recently divorced. She's really happy being recently divorced. Real short skirt. I mean, you're seeing asshole.

Wow. Literally seeing asshole. Yeah. And Christine goes, she was, you want to go fucking a bathroom? And I go, yeah, let's go. And she goes, can Michelle come watch? I go fuck it. Michelle, you want to come watch us. Why are you trying to be out right now with that voice? Yeah, he's got an incredible voice Wow, what the fuck you should read old penthouse forums for cameo

Yeah, can we pull up a penthouse farm before we go. I want to see she goes Yeah, I guess I'm thinking we should like grab my dish. I'm not I don't want to cheat on my wife. Yeah, she just goes here I don't think that's cheating. I think that's hot. We grabbed that. Oh, it's sifting my mouth. I'm thinking we should like grab my dish. I'm not I don't want to cheat on my wife. Yeah, she just goes here. I don't think that's cheating. I think that's hot. We grabbed that. Oh, it's slipped in my mouth. I'm sorry.

I'm whoops. Oh, and you came instantly because it's a new woman. Did you just come in her mouth? So fast. You're mad. No, so shut up. No, I'm still hot. Come on.

Clearly just blasted. It's a droplet of come. Dripping off the tail. Honey, this is I I love you baby girl. But then she didn't, then Christine went and looked at the bathroom and she's like, I don't want to. This is what Christine did at the stand though. I go into the bathroom at the stand.

Here goes, I'll be right in. Stand there and I'm fucking rubbed my dick. I'm getting on, I'm ready to go. You gotta be quick. Sure. I'm the fuck around. Yeah, you gotta fucking. Door opens.

There we go. Here we go. It's someone else. It's not my wife Oh, no girl comes in. I'm standing behind the thing with my hand on my cock cock not out and I just go Oh, I'm sorry and I just walked out my wife is dying laugh That's all I go with the first I got it was funny. It's funny. It was funny But imagine my cocks rubbing it imagine it's out in the girl just sucks it. Oh, fuck, finally. And you're like, honey, that was awesome. She's like, what?

If you weren't wearing that dress, they're out. They're out. Report you. All right, let's go. You guys, all right, so check this out. Mike Fenoya. Oh, Fenyanya. Fenyanya.

Fenyanya. Fenyanya. Fenyanya. Thank you, bud. It's a great name, dude. No, it's not. It is. No one gets it right. This vest is losing hair rapidly. We got we got to go. I got like a day left of this thing. He's literally all

like a rat. New comedy special. Don't let me down. It is on YouTube right now. Go watch it. It's hilarious. Shot so awesome. And of course, check out Aaron Bergs 25 sets. What else you guys get going on? Go ahead. I got two podcasts. I got a comes the time podcast that I co-host with Oatiel Berbridge, the bass player from Dead and Company. And then I have Dented Cans, my solo podcast where I talk to comics about our Dents. And New Year's Eve, I will be headlining comics, Mojigan Son. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. It's a great place to be. Get sleep at home that night.

You know what I mean? That night. Oh, you're not gonna stay over. No, I don't think so. You're gonna just drive home. Be careful, dude. That's a dangerous night on that road. I appreciate it.

You know, I've done New Year's Eve there. It's nice. Um, yeah, I love Moe Higgins son. New Year's Eve. I love it. I think I did it with Jay. Oh, yeah. Years ago, I think, yeah, a long time ago when I was a piece of shit.

Yeah. I had to, I think I had two chubby blonde girls fucking play with my back. No. One game of the flow, like instantly from her hand. Instant, instant flow. Oh, this fucking tub of shit. Fluid through the batty. Instant.

Yeah, I was a fatty too though, so I can say that. Good for you. Just three fatties playing Truth and dare yeah, you getting all sick Yeah, what do you got this Saturday soul jules potstown Pennsylvania just there last week me and little max yeah Great club great club dude. I had a blast Maxi, right? Yeah, I was a lot of fun. I places killer. He's got a shit there. No, I did not He says killer. He has to just shit there. No, I did not.

Nice, classy. Doesn't do it. Don't shit in the studio before guests. I didn't. Who did? No one did. Yeah, he did. Cleveland, December 7th, I'm gonna be at the Winchester.

Get tickets for that. They just contacted me. They want me to come back. This is great. I love the Winchester. Winchester. Aaron, you work with Aaron? I'm Aaron.

Oh. Aaron Pottenham, you mean? Yep. I don't know if he's there. I'll ask him. Wileys and Dayton, December 8th and 9th. Yauke-Yauks and Toronto, December 15th and 16th. And New Year's Eve.

I'm in Staten Island, celebrating Pete Davidson at Max's Eska. It's going to be good. Awesome. I'm going to be aware, guys. Can you read it for me? Maybe I had the Daniel Beach improv, which is right next to Fort Lauderdale, Florida December 15th with Danny. Yes, good food. Good time. Great. Then we're gonna be Fort Wayne, Indiana at Summit Comedy. New Year's Eve. I got that. New Year's Eve. Fort Wayne, Indiana I was there with Big J and Ari last time we did two sold out shows. It's a great club. So make sure you please

Spread the word on that one. Then January 12th and 13th, you're going to be at Sire Toga Springs comedy works. Love it. Then, uh, Bubs Irish pub in German town with constant January 19th. See how that works. Most sickletz like owns that place. All right, that's enough. Go to robbercadalive.com for all my other dates. Make sure you check me on a punchup.live. My special is up there, killbox, for free. Just go there, put in your email address, and that's it, and the email goes to me.

It doesn't get sold. It goes to me, and I get to use it to send you stuff when I'm gonna be near you, blah, blah, blah, blah, and make sure you go to comicwearables.com. Use code word ladybugs, get YKWD gear, 20% off, and what a great, great Christmas gift, Hanukkah gift. Get yourself some hats, we got some cool stuff up there. What do you guys got?

Max Marcus comedy on all social media. Danny Braff on Instagram and see me the November 30th at Verven Summerville in New Jersey. And you can check out the cheese show on YouTube by just typing in cheese show. I got a really great crew worker for me even though I fun with them. I love them so much. They're very funny stand-ups too, which I love. Yeah, it's good. hilarious.

So make sure you check them out if you see them around. You know what? I had a blast with you guys. Thanks for coming on. Love you Bobby. Thank you. Love you guys, man. We'll see you guys next week on... You know what, dude? Podcast. Bueno, me gustó uncia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

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