Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Adam Ferrara | Myna Bird

Episode Date: July 24, 2022

This week Bobby comes remote from the Tiny House to give Adam Ferrara and us a tour of Camp Kelly, the dynamics or married decision making and the pitfalls of modern car buying! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Regional. Regional. Regional. It's been a while. I mean, it was, it's been a while. You're right. I almost missed it. You know, it used to get me infuriated, but now I kind of enjoy them. I'm just sitting there. It's like two, one, and then it's gonna go right into the intro and then it's me going, just staring into the camera. I have my American flag fucking hat on because I'm up here in the country and I love America. I love this country and I love the woods and I love men.

I mean, I love men who fight for this country. We'll get a great show for you today. Like I said, I'm up at the tiny house. I'm up in the woods, but it doesn't stop the king of everything, the king of everything, the king of social media, the king of the king of Zoom, the king of looking good. Look at, I look fantastic.

I'm still a TV show out in the woods in a tiny home. And I sound amazing. Why? Because I have the new DJI, little wireless mics hooks right up to the computer. And I sound, I mean, Jesus Christ, I look, I mean, it's what I'm doing this for you. Patreon, people, I want to welcome you.

I love you. You're here, you're my ladybug, and we're going to have a great show today. My guest is one of my favorite people. He's, I've known him almost my whole career. He's mentored me. He's, he me. He's shown me a bunch of things. And he's an amazing comic.

And thank God I surpassed him in the business. And I can look back at him now and go, wow, I took some stuff from him. But kidding. This guy is one of my favorite people. One of the nicest people in the business, legitimately. It's almost sickening how nice This guy is one of my favorite people, one of the nicest people in the business, legitimately, it's almost sickening how nice this guy is and talented.

You never get those together very rarely. Everybody, please welcome Adam Farrah. There we are. There you are. Look at you. Yes, you said, how are you, baby? You know what? You surpassed me in a business, and now you're in an outhouse in New Hampshire.

I can't put your success is just amazing to me. It's my part of it. Well, you know, this is, I want to ask you about the tiny home because this is, this is amazing to me. Yes, I want to ask you about lighting. That's terrible. You know, do you know lighting works? It's terrible. I got, I got the window up.

Remember to go close the window. Well, yeah, you, because you're backlit yourself. I'm sorry. I want to give you a solution of three dimensions. Yeah. Well, you want to give yourself three dimensions. Hold on. Yeah, well, you want to give yourself three dimensions. Take your cock out. Where are you in Paris?

Why? Oh my god, it's so dark now. Oh, now, now you're bitching. I'm here. I'm at the apartment you liking to New York. Hold on. Listen, you got to go open it. I mean, you got to, you know, I mean,

you've been in the business for fucking 30 years. You don't know about lighting yet. OK. You don't know about lighting yet? Okay. You don't know about key lighting? There you go. Well, better? I like it. I'm shadow.

That's nice. It's, I look, I look like I am Gaysha. Look at me. Oh, God. You just, you take the show off that. Yeah, I know. This is awful. Anyway, I missed you, baby.

I'm so happy that you were happy in your tiny little house, a new Hampshire. Okay, what do you want to know about it? I want to, first of all, how did you make the decision to do it and how did it work? Is it prefab? They just plug it in, is it? Well, the decision to do this is that I wanted

to move up here for 30 years. I've been coming here for 30 years and my dream was to have a place up here. I met my wife, you know, over 20 years ago. She used to come up here as a little girl with her family every summer. They would rent a cottage. So we would actually come up here together when we started dating. She would be, she would be at her mom's the cottage and I would be over here at my uncles. So then when we got together we would always come up here and stay at my uncles.

My uncle's got a big house up there. So we had a smaller house to begin with. So we would come up and just stay. We'd sleep on the couch, we'd sleep on one of the bedrooms, whatever. For years, we'd come up here. And then, I was always like, we should get a place, we should get a place, and we never pulled the trigger. Right.

And up here is getting very, very expensive. Every year. I don't know where else, maybe. It's, it's, but up here, when the pandemic hit, millionaires just came up here and started buying land. Um, there's, there's 500 acres behind my uncle's house of just trails and scheme of billed trails and just beautiful trails. Um, it was owned by this rich family, apparently.

And, um, It was owned by this rich family apparently and Right when the pandemic hit the richest woman in America came up and claimed her land from her family and built a fucking road like in a day behind Rich people amaze me man. Yeah, fucking magical This bitch built a road. There was a trail there that we hiked for around 15 16 years

It was gone within a month the whole trail. They bulldozed they saw it They fucking cut trees and they fuck Security cameras high-tech everything They saw it, they fucking cut trees, and they fucking, rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr She wouldn't bother her neighbors with trucks. She built this other fucking million dollar road just so she wouldn't bug her neighbors. Then she died. She died before the house was done. Just a foundation there. So. She died.

She died in a road. So I'm gonna hit her on the road, what happened? Probably died fucking, you know, going back on a deal with Satan or whatever rich people do. Okay. So then what happened to the project? Did they finish it or no?

Nope, they're gonna rip down the foundation of the house. I don't know what the fuck they're gonna do, but this bitch is dead. Dead, and now there's just a dumb road to nothing. So now, son, are you taking advantage of the fact that the road's there as your house off this road? Well, that's up the road. I'm down here.

So back to my original story. So me and my wife were trying to buy land up here, but, you know, it's 100,000, 200,000 up there. It's 300, thousand dollars for land. Right. God forbid there's a view. You're fucked. You get a view tax. It's crazy up here now, especially in this town. Down in Winnipezaki, it was already built up, Gilford. It's always been built up. That was where the patienters and all that. Yeah, we were like Winnipezaki one year. That's the only one I know in New Hampshire.

Yeah, we're up further. We're in the woods. Yeah, we were like when a Pissake one year. That's the only one I know in New Hampshire. Yeah, we're up further. We're in the woods. Yeah, small little towns, right? So we, but then Dawn saw that she was on Instagram and she found tiny homes of Maine. And we Instagram them. And we meet my friends and we went up and visited them to go look at these things to see if it's

to see if it's viable, you know what I mean? Yeah, because we're in at my uncle's house, we were staying at this his cottage, he's got a cabin, he's got a fucking mansion, you know, he's got like a six bedroom house and office house, there's a guest cabin with a jacuzzi, so we usually stay there. Yeah. And I'm like, how much smaller could it be? You know what I mean? So we drove eight hours to Maine. Took us two days because we had the kid in the dog. And we went up to these people's houses and we, the best people ever. Husband and wife. And they were telling us, yeah, they showed, I mean, they were living in this. They were living in this exact- As the permanent resident.

The permanent resident. They had 65 acres on a Christmas tree farm that they bought. So they lived on 65 acres. They had, they were building these homes inside of a World War II airplane hanger. So they were building these homes inside of a World War II airplane hangar. So they were building these homes for people, custom. Right. They're like, different awesome, but you customize the whole thing, whatever you want it.

So we're in their house, they're building a big house right on their land. We're like, what are you doing with this one? They're like, I guess it's up for sale. So we were like, we made him an offer. Right. And they came back and we accepted. We're like, Bingbing and we're like, yeah, we'll do it. And we bought the one they were living in.

Okay. For a great deal, then we came up here and there was land right on this road. My uncle's road. Time. The good part about was land right on this road. My uncle's road. Okay. The good part about this land, it's paved. He's in an association. It's dirt road.

There's no cable. You got to get like dish and fucking like, you got to get, what's that old internet, the DXL? I don't know what the fuck it is. Dial, oh, my wife talked me into the dish. I go, honey, I don't want to dish. She's like, well, I said, because when it rains, we rains we're gonna lose this and that's when I want to watch TV Is when it rains sure enough Bobby when it rains if they're not rained doing football season because I'm real angry

Terrible This is bad. It's terrible. So you got a paved road and you got cable. I got 1.2 gig download. That sounds impressive. I don't know what it is. That's good. That's fucking good. I'm in the middle of the woods and I'm fucking high speed internet and to you right now. Okay. Very good. How many is the place you're living in how many square feet? It's around four But the thing is no kidding. It's uh

Okay, it's I don't know I don't know the square foot is 700 Okay, that's like this place. This is this is the apartment you were in my apartment You know, it's only like 800 square feet. Yeah, this is like living in you if you had this apartment in New York City You'd be like dude. I fucking love this place. Yeah, this is like living in New York. If you had this apartment in New York City, you'd be like, dude, I fucking love this place. Yeah, yeah. Like here's a sleep and loft up here, right? This is the living room right there. You can see that there's a couch,

50 square inch TV. So basically it's sectioned into three sections on the first floor. You got a nice shower, big shower walk in, same toilet, right? Then you got the kitchen, you got the regular size fridge, you got a two burner stove, you got the counter to sink, you got all kinds of shit, you know, you can put stuff on, right? Then you got the kitchen table area where we have goth, blah, blah, blah.

Then you got the living room, right? So four, it's four sections. Now how long can you do on the kid in the dog state before you drive in each other crazy? Buddy, we were here yesterday in the rain. Me and Max were on the couch watching fucking the good doctor. She was upstairs taking a nap with the dog

and he went up to his little loft and fucking chilled I was down on the couch she came down made coffee I went up to the bed took an I mean dude you it's there's no we could stay we could live here not we are we could live here because I don't get sick of my wife and I don't get sick of my kid we don't get sick of each other it's there's never that shit but this is your side of the story. And I don't get sick of my kid. We don't get sick of each other. There's never that shit. But this is your side of the story. Oh, absolutely. I'm sure they fucking hate me. No, but then you got outside. I go outside and smoke cigars out here. Fire pit down there. I mean, I could bring you on a little tour if you want to see it. Yeah.

I mean, I could bring you on a little tour if you want to see it. Yeah! Mike, if I go in on the... The ladybugs want to see it? Yeah. They wanted to. Huh? They wanted to. Also, it's a graphic in mind in you.

What the fuck is Indian Island? Indian land. Oh, yes, this native, this native, you're trying to hit, jinx me. My neighbor found native graves in her backyard. Uh-oh. Does this go two ways? You either get haunted or you can have a casino.

Well, or I get fines of relics and make some money off their dead bones. Well, is that too? Yeah, which is kind of, the whole same thing is haunted. Yeah. That's not going to end well. All right, you want to see that?

You want to see it? Yeah, I want to see it. All right, so does Greg Shepherd. All right, I'm going to call in my other life. Who is this? Yeah, it's not just me. It's a little messido. That's all right.

My dawn will kill me. I know. Okay, it's a little messy. Let me just clean up. Talk to them. All right, I'm talking to you. So, all right. Here's why I wanted to see it.

I can't picture Bobby, you know, in this little gingerbread house. So I want to look around and see what he's got. He says he's got four rooms which means I'm guessing you spend most of your time down in the where the TV is yes? No. I spend most of my time outside. Okay. Now let me ask you this while you're cleaning up, how long can you stay there before you get itchy? What's the closest stand-up stage deal? Because you're gonna have to go nuts up there. To, I mean Boston? Yeah.

Two hours? All right, that's not bad. Okay, I'm calling in. You're calling in? All right. I'm calling in. Now I'm gonna have to shut one of the mics off here. Okay.

You have more technology in this house of cards. I know, I know, I know, it's bad, right? Yeah. So you're switching to a phone call, this will go from this to a phone call. Well, Moush is going to let me in. I'm going to turn the volume down. Okay. Then you'll take us for a tour on the phone. Take you for a tour on the phone, right? Okay This is great. So it was one unit. They just dumped the house. Is it on a foundation or is There you are can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you and I can see you. Is any echo? I Don't get me. I'm on a my end. Nope. How do I switch the camera, Mike? Bush. Hello?

Is it ceiling pan? Just turn it around. Like this? Yeah, see that? OK. Don't show the screen, but you just left. Where'd you go? But I did.

I'm up the phone. Yeah, you hung up on the Zoom call. On the screen yard. I did. Yeah. Yeah. Now I can see your hands typing in your living room. All right. Okay. All right. Both of these. I mean, this is the worst I could have done with you two. No, believe me. It's going to get a lot worse. I can feel it. All right. I'm coming in. All right. This is very exciting you Mike bang Let me in area

And I can't turn the camera on this right now just turn your children around I know how I know that you fucking turn your photo I know you fucking I'm just saying is's an option. I know that I'm like I do that. I like. Oh wow. How's good? How's that right? That's pretty cool. There's this. Anyways, here's the living room right here. Oh, look at that. I mean, dude, look at this view. Look at that view. Look at that. I mean, dude, look at his view. Look at that view. All right. Hold on. But let me, let me, there you go. That's better. Big TV. And then you got. There's TV. But this couch, this ought, these are all storage space, right?

Yeah. And then it's all sectional stuff. So everybody's got like two, right? And but if you put these together, all three of us have been on this couch just chilling watching movies right right now up here you go up this ladder I I can put it over here hang on one second how you doing there you move this ladder over here this is the view I want to see. Get up that ladder. And then this is Max's room. Oh, that's cool. So Max is up here. I like the skylight. Yeah, he's got a nice little skylight. He's got to go up the ladder, but he's young. Go fur rug up here. Look at this. Wakes up every morning to that. Right? Right. Watch me fall fucking you have a gym no I have a

ladder I'm done for the day okay so now this is the kitchen table right here. Okay. We all these, see these chairs, these beautiful mid-century chairs, the folding chairs. Oh, that's cool. So we put them, when we're not sitting here, we just put them away, right?

Mm-hmm. I got all this shit on here, but this is the kitchen table. This folds, this whole thing folds down and goes away. Okay. So all our silverware, cops and shitter in here, right? Right. All this, this whole thing, this is all getting cleaned up.

Today she yelled at me about this. All this stuff over here is going away. But inside here is all storage. Oh, okay. All storage. This is the view, right? That's great. Is that a pool? Now, what are you fucking asshole? I'm not a millionaire Here's the shoes you gotta put your shoes over there. Okay, so here's the kitchen this whole thing comes up This big butcher block comes up so you can have all this counter space. Okay, yeah Yeah, yeah. Dawn, when she's cooking, this is a 10-in-1.

What's that? Air Fryer, the hydrator, oven, rotisserie, it's everything. So that's our oven. But a huge, you can't- Does the air Fryer work? Can you make french fries? It tastes like french fries. It just mushy potatoes.

There's too many chicken fingers out of the day. I mean, not your tits off. Real? Yeah, there's the dog station trash. Here's our two burners, right? Electric, which is awesome. Regular size fridge. Good. Magic chef. But we could get a we could get a bigger fridge if we wanted to too. There's all the food and shit. Right? She's getting shelves. There's three things left to get.

Shelves right here. Yeah. Right here to get all this shit up and away. All this over here is going away. There's a washer, dryer combo going here. Oh, I didn't think it at. That's the sink. That's the fucking soup she made me yesterday. Mm-hmm. Oh, dude. It looks like it's still coming out. Uh, a video shows how it looked. Dude, I shit that out this morning. Let me tell you something. Mm.

It was, I, but I'm addicted to it now. It's like this gross fucking mushy soup that comes out of my ass. So it looks the same coming out as it does going in. Oh. Yeah, but it looks the same coming out as it does going in. Oh, it looks like. Oh my. You don't want to see that.

It looks like you got a valve on your ass. Okay. So, so. So. So yeah, here's the bathroom. Let me put that down. Where's the bed? That's right. Then now we're getting a shelf over here.

All this is going away. I got my day that I'm hooking up. Because you know, I can't rock anywhere without a bed day. I understand. Be a friend to your ass. It will be a friend to you. You got the beautiful shower. I look at the shower head.

Look at that. That's pretty big. Back up. Let me see the shower. That's pretty big. Back up. Hang on, let me get the thing back in. That's a magnet.

Look how big that is. Yeah. Big shower, right? And you got the slide pocket door Somebody's cooking fucking pancakes. Why are you taking a shit? But look how beautiful it is man. What happened? Oh, you can't wait for it. What? Did I wait? No, it's a lot again. Yeah, your cameras off. Maybe you got a text or something There you go. So look how beautiful this is, dude. AC heat. Right there.

Yeah, okay, that's good. It's freezing in here, dude. And then you walk up these stairs right here. Right? And it's a mess up here. She's going to kill me. But that's your bedroom. You got my CPAP right there.

Right? That bedroom right there, right? That's our bedroom right there, but our bedroom is a little bigger. You can we have a queen. Yeah, and you got some you can walk this little space there with the rug, right? Yeah, do you get up here? You're rolling the bed. You know, I mean, look dude. It's not to you know, it's not a you're supposed to come up here. Fucking do shit outside all day. Yeah, and then wait up and have some air fries Shit some soup and rest. Yeah, I'll show you outside ready Come on doodles come on girl There's a doll

Okay, look Here's that much I bought This is a net. I got a net. I want this. I hate this. What is this? It goes around the top. For mosquitoes? Yeah, but it's like fucking.

I got the thing. Mo, one of the ladybugs told me to get it. It looks ghetto. Nets look ghetto. Okay. Here. You come down here. This is the fire pit, right? I'll look at that. Go close it.

This is where all the chairs, we come out here, we have fires. We rained a lot yesterday. Yeah. Let's put these up. Yeah. Um, I saw a mountain lion just jump of here and running right here. Debbie, if you saw what? It was huge. What was the deer? The deer? Yeah, it was outside this morning having me doing my meditation on that bench. And the dog was out here. I was just at a barking right here.

It was like a six point buck. Hmm. It was huge. Is that the, so you got deer in the woods. You got, there's no snakes and shit is there like bears There's all this woods look at all this Yeah, this is all me back here full of 600 acres over there

There's gotta be bodies in there somewhere man. I hope so. I hope I find some I want some negative grapes That's that's some scary shit though. All right, so here this is what we're gonna do. Look at this rock. I love this fucking rock. Look how big this glacier rock is. Jesus. So over here we're gonna put a jacuzzi.

Okay. Right. Over here is gonna go stairs. So right here, stairs are gonna come down there's going to be a deck out in front. So it'll be a little wooden deck out here going up here to stairs. Right now when you get in this corner stands to get to the rocks. What's going to be where does stairs go? Well you go up here. So up here. Oh okay. Right here. Over here. this is gonna be with a shed ghost, where I'm gonna make my studio and storage.

Oh, that's cool. So is the plant to move up here eventually or just make it, I don't know, the Kelly compound. I don't know, it's Kelly Camp, we'll call it. There's the tiny house right there. Hold on, move over, let me see, you can get a bit of a look. That's great. Yeah, that's like a store box with an extension on top. That's pretty cool.

It's gorgeous, man. Yeah, look at that. So they were living in that. You're walking around. You're making an offer and they're like, all right, and that's the one they bought. And they just dumped it right there. So, yeah, let me take you on the tour first. So this is all you want to be here. Bobby, you disobey it again. But I'm back in the living room. He came here as now that he's not on the thing. This is all he's just going to keep talking much. He came in and read all the rocks. The guy put all these rocks up my guide, Barry Eastman. Mm-hmm. Harry Eastman, the rocks. The guy put all these rocks up. My guy Barry Eastman. Mm-hmm. Harry Eastman. The rocks.

Made this rock. Eastman rocks, Moshe. He can't hear us, Kenny. I hear all these rocks. I'll just laugh. Yeah, I text him. Okay. He's walking around. He's like working his ass off, breathing heavy and no one's getting it. He's just like, I got about too far from and left the range of the internet too. Yeah, all his gig in and that just went to shit. Yeah. Yeah. I got news for you. That place

is really, really cool. It's amazing. He's driving her crazy. Don't don't, don't it's got to be going. There's only so much Bobby time. That's why he goes, I'm outside a lot. I don't think it's his choice. I think she says you got to get out. Go plan when you want to stay Back Bobby. Yeah, you got to talk about Indian ghosts So So you know in the future if we have a build on here, this will be a side road But this will be the main entrance to the house. So, basically, I'll take you up here. So, you drive up here? What are you driving now?

Ford Ranger. Good. Do you have, you're gonna get an ATV? You're gonna get something to go through? I'll do it. I'll do it. No, I'm not going too far. Yeah, like there's my rock. Do you have a you got you're gonna get an ATV you're gonna get something to go through Yeah, like there's my rock Look a Bobby's like he was just struck by lightning and that's the last picture we have Don't you far from the house, Bobby. All right, so basically that's the road.

Uh-huh. And you come down here. So, in the future, you'll go right up there and how to go right there. And that will be the front door. Now where the down here will be like the basement. That's cool. Yeah, yeah. So the shed's going be like the basement. That's cool. That's them?

Yeah. So the shed's gonna go over there. And then we, you know, you can park up there and walk down a high drive down here. So now what do you just go for walks in the woods and plant shit out? What's that? You take the dog, you just go for walks in the woods

and you're planning shit out? Or? Dude, I plan to all this out. I came here with the contractor. What's that? You take the dog you just go for walks in the woods and you're planning shit out or Dude yeah, I do I planned all this out. I came here with the contractor and I instead of having the house up there like everybody has the house off the road. I was like I want my house in the woods You know so I literally stood Around two maybe two years ago. I stood right here, maybe a year and a half ago. I stood right here and I wanted here and I wanted facing that way. That's great. Yeah, so there'll be a deck over here.

And then you can just walk right into those woods. There's a little brook over here. Up, if you walk in a little bit, there's a brook that runs three seasons, then my property goes further back up there. Can you fix it? Can you fix it? You should.

Solar ring. What's a solar ring? Make the front door. That's beautiful, right? That's really beautiful. What's a solar ring? What's that? What's a solar ring? That's beautiful, right? That's really beautiful. What's a solar ring? What's that? What's a solar ring? So I got the solar ring up here.

So I don't have to, as long as this sun, right there, it goes right through my camera, microfiber talk, if someone comes, I see anybody coming on my land. I don't have to replace the battery. Oh, okay. So it't have to replace the battery. Oh, okay, so it's a ring is the door, but I thought a solar ring was like this magic thing that catches the sun and you power everything like it'll come on the sun.

That's what I thought to do. Yeah, I had no idea. I thought it was solar ring with some kind of move. Yeah, so there you go. That's really cool. And it took you to into. It took longer than that. I mean, Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás!

Vuelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Um, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Can you get a boat and do all that stuff or is it protected? Fuck yeah, no. It's the cleanest lakes in America, Squam Lake. Right. I like it better than Winnipe Saki's big, but it's crowded. It's all boats. You've got little quam right down the street, and then you've got big squam. And it's the lake that on Golden Pond was filmed on.

Oh. We used to go to Lake George, New York. We would camp on the islands. My father, first of all, we're pulling our boat with a Cadillac. That's what kind of gindaloons we are. A 1977 Fleetwood Brom. Bobby, we're pulling this thing up the through way. Gindaloon.

Camping. You should see all the cars, because all the trucks and all the SUVs are parked with boat trailers and there's a brown Cadillac it looks like a UPS executive pulling his friggin boat and we would camp on the islands and My mother first of all my mother trying to make ziti on a barbecue with you know trying to cook everything She she boils the pasta and everything she's hanging like cheese and salami and the trees and shit and That's what we would that's what we would camp. It was a fresh water lake. It was great.

And then we would say that for two weeks and like all your relatives would come up for like a weekend, a couple of days. My uncles would come up. They were fishing off the dock in like three-piece suits. It's just like these old Italians trying to catch fucking dinner. Yeah, they're trying to eat.

They're not efficient for sport. They need food. Yeah, that's trying to eat. They're not in the tradition of for sport. They need food. Yeah, that's it. We'll get something to eat out of this. The best part about this place is that there's nobody can come up. What do you mean? Well, hey, can we come?

Yeah, you can come up. You want to camp on the fucking out in the parking lot. Oh, yeah, there's no room for them to stay. Yeah. Nope. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. stay, yeah. Nope, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's great.

That's fucking great. So now, do you hunt? What are you doing, you hunting? No, I'm gonna probably start hunting, probably maybe this year or next year. I'll start hunting. I'm gonna take a course with Max. I wanna take a gun course with him

and a hunting course and a fishing course. But the first thing I'm going to do is I'm getting my boat license. Good. So I get my boat license so I can rent the boat and take the family out. We get I got done a paddle board. I'm getting Max a little kayak. I have my little boat that I'll use. And then and that's it. We're going to keep it I'll use. And then, and that's it. We're going to keep it low-key. Look, man, I'm in so much debt from this fucking thing. It's my knees. Well, you know, yeah, little house big dead.

Fuck. Well, what happened was everything we got, everything we got, it was a good deal, right? But when you put a pool and it's not the pool, it's the fucking excavation. It's the, yeah. All the shit around the pool, it's the brick wall, it's the floor, it's all the ground. So when you come up here, you come up with the guy

and you're in there, you're like, what if we do this? Well, I'd like to maybe face it, oh yeah, sure. What about if we get a, okay, they just say, okay, yeah, and the cash register is going off in their head. You just hit a bells. Wow. And a pool, the pool is the wet pit. You throw money in. I got one in my house in Santa Monica and I got the heater and it's all beautiful. So I'm swimming in the pool. Then I get the electric bill. I fucking flipped out. I turned the heater off. I go, that's it. We're not using this pool anymore. My wife bought me a wetsuit. I have the heater off and I'm wearing a wetsuit. I'm not kidding. I wear a wetsuit to go swimming in my own pool.

Sell those. I can't. Oh, please, you don't know. You don't know my wife. She's like, well, we're going to retire when we retire. We're going to retire. What? Go to the beach? The beach is right there. Where are we going? We can't afford this place now. So what? What? Why? What was your leg you built? You mind me, Askin? Where are we going? We can't afford this place now. So. What? Why, what was your leg you built? You mind me asking? Oh, it had commas in it. I was like, it had a comma. I'm like, are you out of your mind? That's all I need, Bobby.

All I need is one comma. That, you know, at fuck and you. Are you kidding me? And now I'm getting, you know what I'm terrified about? Ford's giving me a Mustang, a Machi for three months. So I got the electric Mustang. They're gonna put a charger on the house. Oh, I don't have to pay for gas. God knows what the hell this bill is gonna be now. I'm better off buying a kite and a key and going on my own roof and just making my own shit.

Fuck. Why did you get a solar roof? Yeah, again, you have end end end. Yeah, you're solar roofing. Oh, no, there's no more tax breaks, but you can't get a tax break. But you this no, this no easy answer to this. You're kidding? The sun is free. Well, not really. Maybe. Maybe for a doorbell, but not for your fucking roof. My solar ring cam, where he's great. Yeah, but I mean, you're charging this, not the house. And my house is all open.

You never been to my house in Santa Monica. It's all open. So it's this sprawling thing. So it's like, I gotta heat the whole, it's like heating an airplane hanger. I'm walking around my house in a winter jacket because when it gets cold, I'm my father.

My father just walking around just to turn and shit off because the fucking Santa Monica, the power is through the roof. And God forbid that run the air conditioner. I gotta got to go I need a coastline to do that. His California's nuts right now right. If that's fucking nuts and the food is through the roof and the guess was 619 when I left. What are you doing there you move. What are you doing there? You move. I, oh, okay, yeah, you're, oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you were married too. You have no fucking power, either, Paul Bunyan. I don't wanna hear this shit. Oh, why don't you just do this? You got a fucking wife too. What do you know? Yeah, oh, I love this house. She wanted this house, you fucking idiot.

Who are you bullshit? Ooh, it's a ten-in-one stove. Yeah, like you made that decision. We kidding. Yeah, I'm gonna get a boat license. She said go get a boat license. We got to show our child a good time. Oh, a child a good time. No. I'm glad for because everything you say is true. Yeah, I didn't know anything about the tenant one. You have no fucking eye.

Oh, look, look at nice. This goes up. This goes down. She showed you. You're not taking me a tour. You're repeating shit. You heard you. Mine a door. You're repeating shit you heard. You mine a bird. You're in this tiny house. You know how shit gets done in the house? Mush like this. Oh, darn. I just found a top. Go down. I can't get out of the sliding it. Fuck. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now she tells me, I'm like, do I have to do this gig? She's like, yes, you do. Yeah. I just did a gig for many, many Cooper hired me. I didn't pop. I'm doing stand up. It's a corporate gig at a minor league baseball stadium.

I'm standing on the dugout like the Philly fanatic. And I'm facing the stands. And they're all sitting there. And my head is on this big, is on the jumout like the Philly Phenatic. And I'm facing the stands. And they're all sitting there. And my head is on the jumbo tron. My mole looks like a ring dang. I'm seeing this whole thing. And the sound is awful. It's baseball sound.

And I'm there dancing. Dogs are funny. Just dancing for these people, making them all laugh because it's corporate gig. So yeah, we got to think everything we can get. I'm an uncle. And he's this weekend. Plug my shit.

I got a wife too Friday and Saturday. I like to go and point pleasure one of my favorite clubs, man. Yeah. You'll sell that place out. It's fucking. Yeah. It's fun. No, I like, I like the room.

I like the. You know, the best. I love it. And the room's funnest shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot of stuff. Well, look, dude, you know, but at least you, I mean, you're on fucking TV and you get corporate kicks. I can't, I'm too dirty to

get corporate kicks. Why are you charming fucking 20 years ago? Bob A. Lighting up a little bit of in the fucking F-bombs. You want to know what one of the worst gigs I ever had I did it I did a gig for cancer doctors at the fountain blue hotel in Miami and the whole reason I took the gig was because it was the fountain blue and that's where Gleason did the show. He did his show for, yeah, so I'm like, oh, I got to play the fountain blue. So it's Kinseddoctor, they don't know what they're doing. And you know, when you play in a way game, there's no idea.

You know, they have no idea. Can't you just use the podium? And you can't do stand-up standing in a podium because I'm animated and you look like Hitler. You just roll, you're going around, pound, and he's scanned through it. So the guy introducing us, he's got two slides up. He's got like these two cells up and he's talking about some shit with a pointer.

They don't take it down. The guys, the guys, the cells are still up behind me and now we have some entertainment. Adam Ferrara is our comedian. Please remember we have to be vigilant because there is no cure. And he walks away. They don't know what to clap. They don't know. There's just a little kid bald kid with a little bandana.

This is just some doctor who said that's what they're all standing around. So I walk out and I'm waving. They don't know who I am or what I'm doing. So I just grabbed the mic standing and I pointed to the two cells and went, benign, malignant, benign, malignant. Nothing, nothing. I had to, I had to reintroduce myself to get them to focus. Yeah, what are you going to do? Yeah, you're going to cash the check. That's what you're going to do. Oh, dude, it's the worst. Yeah, what are you gonna do? Yeah, you're gonna cash the check. That's what you're gonna do. Dude, it's the worst. Yeah. It's the worst.

You know, I did one for the Metz. I think two years ago. Yeah, dude, I'm not a Metz fan. I hate the fucking Metz. How bad? 1996 World Series. Yeah, you used to got some Bill Buckner twitching going on. I'm fuck, I hate him.

So I'm in there. And I'm not a corporate. I mean you got their wives You get these corporate douchebags then you get all the the the coaches and some of the players They don't even know what the fuck's going on and they give all these big speeches Yeah, well now Give it up for Robert Kelly. I come out there looking at me like I'm supposed to give him a fucking pep talk Yeah Now, give it up for Robert Kelly. I come out there looking at me like I'm supposed to give him a fucking pep talk. Yeah. He could not have your validation.

Delta plan. Yeah, exactly. It's fucking great. So I had one benefit. And it was, I didn't know was it benefit. It was, I worked, it was the old East Side Comedy Club. And so it was the old one. And they, they was a benefit for to help help kids. And I didn't

know there was a bunch of wheelchairs in the front row because you couldn't see when you walked in when they when they put east side on 110 it was a big room. And the whole they took out the front rows and all the wheelchairs were there. So I went on stage because I ran in because I was late. They introduced me. I went up and I saw them and I just reacted. I went, hey, look, I parked in your spot once. I didn't know you were going to stand everybody, you know? So it got the laugh, and then the kids were laughing. You know, there was one kid on a ventilator. He was like, so you hear the, you know, so he was all happy.

The people who got pissed at me were the people that were pushing the wheelchairs. All the bipeds got pissed at me. The people in the chair, yeah, everyone else you how dare I what they were fine with it oh fucking worse it's like everyone's got to react to what they think the agreeved person should say these people are fine leave me alone now laugh it oh my god yeah well that place is great man I wish you luck with the thing you know that's broken broke me with that fucking rant your car sucker.

It's some my life up. And fuck it. That's the thing. Your life's no different from anybody else's. Here's the one thing that I love. You think fucking. Yeah. Crazy. What?

There's a lot of guys that have fucking, you think Jim Norton's life is fucking, what's he doing? He's throwing and caching, banging transvestites, the transsexuals. Yeah. What do you think? What do you think? He's living with another person. Don't you think that there's the same bullshit in his relationship?

I don't know. I doubt it. Yes. Any time two people live together, tiny house, it doesn't matter. You're never going to behave the way another one expects you to behave, and it's going to be friction. What? What do you mean? I'm just hanging out eating pizza bites, watching Turner classics. They're having a good time. Yeah, you're right. You're right. They're not disagreeing at all. Stop it. Here's the thing I found out in a relationship, especially during the pandemic.

We're both crazy. Me and my wife can't be crazy at the same time. I gotta identify when the wife is crazy and she's gotta identify when I'm crazy and just let that happen and just get out of the way. It's like, or, or you can hit her. I'll stop it. I'm pretty sure a drone can take you. Like your father used to do, right? My father used to yell. I mean, just would yell a lot and my mother, I remember once, once my father was yelling

and my mother just went, you're done. And I was like, I don't do that to me. Yeah, she did. She goes, you're done. Yeah., yeah, I'm done. She goes good What do you want for dinner? Yeah, that was a mistake. I was like steak. Yeah Yeah, that was it. She's not engaging with me anymore

No, and that that's when I know okay, we're fine We're fine. We we broke up four times yesterday. I love you tonight, you know Screamin' and yelling, but you know what it is. I'm leaving to go to Montreal tomorrow for the festival It's three hours out from driving Dawn's gonna be here alone in the tiny house with Max. I said please go invite some of your old friends from Boston I invited old boyfriend up Reconnect have some food, use some yoga together. Have fun, enjoy your fucking life while I'm gone.

My wife gets crazy, I know when she's crazy, Bob. She came home the other day because she feeds all the creatures in the backyard. What? I got creatures. I got bird. In California, Santa Monica, there's no creatures. I got bird. Hey, California. Santa Monica. There's no creatures. Oh no. My entire backyard is full of animals that shit on my deck and eat the wires in my car. Another comma. Another comma, because I had to get a new alternator,

because these little friggin' rats crawled up in there. Eighth the insulation, chewed the wiring harness. I'm driving home from a gig and all of a sudden. Just cause, cause, cause, cause, cause, cause, cause. Yeah, she feeds the birds and because the bird feed, the feed gets on the ground. I got squirrels that show up. And then because of the squirrels,

this little baby mice on the ground and everyone found out, all the animals know that Adam's backyards, the golden corral, all right? Every morning, my wife is up on the, she's up the friggin' roof, holding up a lion cub like, bae, yo, ho, ho, they all show up. And she's worried about the baby mice. You know what I had to do?

I had, we got hawks in the gutters. And she doesn't want anything to happen in the baby mice. She sends me to Home Depot to buy the plastic owl to scare the hawks away, right? So I put the hawks away. And guess what, a real owl showed up. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha.

And they ate mice. And they ate fucking mice. And my wife is sitting there. I'm sitting in the, in the, I hear, well, she's been to backyard with my little dog. She's like, and I'm come quick. Look at the owl. It's beautiful.

Like now, that thing's hungry hungry and it's looking at the dog get in the friggin house. And I'm not a hunter. She's like, don't shoot the hour. I'm not, I'm not going to kill the hour. There's an exercise ball in the back. You know, it goes gray ones. Yeah.

Three weeks ago, I had a fantasy. You know, I'm going to do sit-ups on the deck. Never fucking. I grabbed the ball. What? I look at my wife. I said, I'm going to throw the ball. And I'm goingups on the deck. Never fucking. I grabbed the ball. I look at my wife, and I said, I'm gonna throw the ball, and I'm gonna hit the branch, you'll scare the owl away,

we'll save the baby mice, right? And probably I'm whispering, because for some reason, I think the owl can hear my plan. The owl in the stands English. Yeah, I don't know if the owl can understand me, but I want, so I turn around, and have you ever locked eyes with a fucking owl?

Yes. That's terrifying. That's terrifying. I'm like this. I'm expecting like, it's the news, do review, come around you. You know that owl glasses and a hack and a lollipop. And a one and a two?

No, this is a fucking killer I got up there. So he's looking at me and I go to turn to get a better angle to throw the ball because I don't want to hit the window. Right? And the owl starts turning his head and his head just, they can turn their heads 270 friggin degrees. I know. That's, I didn't know that. I'm like, this is like all the degrees every one of that. The whole fucking head goes around and I'm like, he's looking back at me like,

peek a boom motherfucker. And I'm, I throw the ball. He think flies away. Comes back and they they keep they're all over the place and I got possums too. two. Careful. Yeah, look at that thing. That's a killer. Oh shit, dude. Yeah. Do you have what did the possums look like? I had those on my roof too because it a mic thing. They're creepy, dude. Fuck, they got these little teeth and these little white fingers in shit. I know what you do, y'all, Adam. If you go, hey, stop it. They freeze up, curl up and pretend they're dead. Man, not when I yell at them. They look at me like this.

You're done. We're going to eat the mice in front of your wife now, asshole. So she's letting it happen. Let them die. Like yeah, look at that's fake, that creepy face with that nose. That's them. They're pot, oh, they're opossums, they're Irish, they get drunk and beat up their brothers on my roof.

These fucking animals. It looks like a rich boss. That's it. You just put a hat on and some Nike's. Some tattoos. I think some's. Yeah, some tattoos. I think some rings. Yeah. So brother, I gotta ask you, you're still on the car show. Now, car show's done.

How are you getting a free fucking electric car? They're just, they're, they're, they're loaned it to me for three months and I, and I post about it. I still do like little stuff like I had, they gave it to me once for a couple days Because I wanted to shoot something and I can see I'm still I still get you know the girl called press cards so I can still get a press car and tweet about it And it's I liked it and I asked them I said I like to do an extended thing and they said yeah, sure so hopefully They hooking up the electrical thing for you As far as I know yeah Hopefully it's coming. Are they hooking up the electrical thing for you?

As far as I know, yeah. That's the thing. I think that's what we need. The weird thing is there's no universal plug. Like there's a Tesla plug. It's like if you had an iPhone and you've got to get an iPhone jack, which is kind of weird, you got to be pretty good.

Yeah, but I got to make money. I got to make money. I know. It's like every time my charger doesn't work, ah, it's a ThunderCable. Whatever your cable you make is going right up my ass. That's what it's like every time I got my charger doesn't work. Ah, it's a thunder cable. Whatever your cable you make is going right up my ass That's what it's going lightning bolt thunder partly cloudy cable. Whatever it is It's gonna go up me 30 bucks when I forget it in a fucking hotel room You fucking making my fucking chest hurt. Yeah

You call a thunder cable whatever the fuck it is. It's always another thing. A thunder cable is yeah. What it is. Oh, it's a dark cloud coming connection. That's what I mean. Fuck me, dude. Yeah. Everything. I listen, man. I guess I don't understand though. So the show's always say they're gonna give you a free car for three months. Three months of, nobody. You're post about it. I'll, I'll, it's a great, I mean, it's a, I got an argument with Chris Titus

because he doesn't think it's a Mustang. I had him on the podcast and he's like, you know, it's not a Mustang. Yeah, it is. I mean, there's no theater in the car. There's no like, you know, there's no sound. There's no smell. There's no, you step on that gas. The acceleration, not even the gas. You hit the accelerator. That's instant torque. Whatever you have that's loose up here ends up. This should be a setting on that thing called balls in the back seat because you just step on it and your balls are in the back seat.

It's just, it's really, I wanted to spend more time in it because I wanted the electric F-150. Yeah, lightning. Yeah. Yeah, but you can't you can't get it. You can't get a fucking car. Listen, I'm gonna tell you something right now. How are you trying to get I my lease has been up for fucking three months. I had to extend it for six months because there's no trucks. Yeah. I get a fucking car because the this stupid chip shortage, which I think is bullshit. I went into the fucking dealership again. I'm like, buddy, they don't even look at you. We used to go to a dealership and they would attack you. As soon as you hit the tent, you're like, yeah, can I help you? Can I help you? You walking now, they're all on their phones,

talking shit. Hey, what's up? They don't need you. They don't have anything. Yeah, and the shit they do have this over selling so much money Yeah, I'm on a I'm on a Cargoos. I'm on a an alert for An ego of the Volkswagen E golf and I just see that they keep going up I also like the ELR the the Cadillac EG LR, the hybrid. Yeah, but when are you going to be able to go to the dealership and get one for a fair price again?

And never again, is it over? No, it's not going to be over, right? But you can get them, you can get a deal at Carvana. I haven't used those. I can't lease a car. You got, well, you extended your lease. How long do you extend it for? Six months.

Okay. What's your buyout? I don't want it. Okay, you don't want it, but you want to walk? I don't want to get another lease. Okay, why don't you like the car you have now? I love the car I have now. I don't want to own it.

Because why? Because I want to get a new one. Okay, so you want a new car. So for right now, if you look at your buyout, what if I- What? It's the way your father talked to you. No, but you know, whatever you need to work out, I'll be here for you, Bobby. I said, I'm mad because there's no fucking- they keep saying this chip, the chip, the chip. What's a fucking chip? It's the chip the computer

Hey, you can go buy a computer chip Matt apples not fucking stop and sure They are I told all but my friend just got a head away. He had a wait four weeks for his monitor They don't they don't have it the supply chains of fuck. This is what I'm telling you is look You're right, okay okay he's all right mush he's two minutes away from writing a manifesto in the fucking woods and we're gonna find a legal contraband and he's gonna start mailing stuff to officials oh god look at it what is that carbonara that's real carbonara it's made with pasta water yeah and an egg. You put the panchetta in there too.

You put the panchetta in there first. Let that oil go in there. And then you cook the pasta out that day. Right. And then you get the egg and you get the cheese and you mix it all up with the bacon grease. And then you throw the pasta back in with that, and then you sprinkle the bacon back in and mix it up.

Oh my God. I like mush put it up just to make you calm. You're screaming at him. Look at that. I wanted that hat. Don't veto that. You know what? I'm getting that fucking hat go back put that picture back

Let me see that. No, you're not don't get that hat Don't get that because the hat and you showed the bag it this it's no Whatever that thing is a row that seat belt you're wearing is that part of the hat to keep the hat on the head Is that a hat leash do you have a hat leash? Is that a hat leash? Do you have a hat leash? I don't know if I can deal with you today, man. I just get other picker of that possum. Yeah. Oh, shit.

There you go. You should hit that with your exercise ball. Next time you see it. Fuck, I tell Mass Holy. I bet he still has that outfit too. exercise ball next time you see it. It's like a dumb ass hole. I bet he still has that outfit too. I got a couple questions for you. I found this pretty interesting. Florida.

You like Florida? Pot. What do you mean, pots? The pots, my friends are in I like. The other parts you don't? Nah, as I'm going down to see my friend, no one's really dragging me to Florida. I've been to Disney, you know, I've played the clubs, you know, I like the clubs.

I like the people that come see me at the clubs, but out of that, too humid, too much. When I get there,, I like the clubs, I like the people that come see me at the clubs, but I don't add too humid, too much. When I get there, everything I get sticks, everything else I got. Well, apparently, I found this interesting because I'm kind of connected to this ever story about it. Oh, hang on a second. Oh, God.

Was that the soup? Yeah, the soup. The soup. The soup. Butternut squash with apples, the soup. The soup. The soup. Butternut squash with apples. Soup she made me yesterday. I mean, I can't tell you. It's like my ass hole is a spikit.

Yeah, I saw it. I saw the valve. Butter butt bobby. That's it. All right, what it was loose saying stop trying to make that happen. Stop trying to wake. Might happen sweetie. That hat.

Low. Another good idea. Close everybody knows because that's the way it goes. If anybody's about to have that's If anybody wants you to at least the hat. I can't wait for the hat, the least on that hat to be up. Return that friggin thing immediately. Lou, if Adam, if me and Adam are having a conversation with you, would you be able to hold it together and not laugh at us now?

All right, let me ask her. So in Florida, yeah. with you, would you be able to hold it together and not laugh at us? No. No. All right, let me ask you. So in Florida, okay, I guess there's a certain part of it. I think it's being overrun by giant African snails. Oh, the snails and the pythons. I sort of pythons. Snails, dude.

Look at these snails. That's a hand. that's a hand that's a hand fuck all right let's be honest if you came out run a snail you deserve to die yeah but dude if you saw that thing crawling up your window you'd lose your life I'd flip out and I'd kill it I'd hit it with something but I wouldn, you know, well when I live with Billy Burr up on 97th between uh uh uh third and Lex. Um, we had an African roommate. Right. We couldn't understand it. Bobby, good, good, put your punch on him. Go madame. So we did an event for him one time. Me and Billy did comedy at one of his African nights. Okay.

So it's all these people dressed. I mean, it looks like coming to America, right? Right. Talk. We go on stage. I don't know what you're going to say. It's sex with your babies. I know I do.

So we go on stage. We do our shit. It goes over our right. And then he brings a lot of food back to the house. So he told me, he goes, yo, there's rice in the thing. If you want the rice, you can have the rice. So I go and I grab the bucket of rice, and I meet not the thing, and I'm like, dude,

this is the best, this is awesome. Oh, this is African dish, this is the best. This is awesome. This is African, an African dish, this is African dish. And I pull up this big mushroom, like this big. I bite not and I'm like, dude, this mushroom is delicious. He goes, this is not a mushroom, it's just schnaile. You're eating a snail Well, first of all, why does the African guy sound like why is the African guy sound like Sean Connery? I don't know dude as Billy Burr. Sorry, he's a snail. Okay, so you ate the shell or the body of a snail

Dude, they it was this fucking big. It was one of those giant African snails. And they put it in rice. There was like three of them in the bucket. So you heaved, it's like, yes, car go. Well, like they'll like a butter and shit, but even that was like, I was a mushroom and then I knew it was a snail. It was fucking disgusting. Yeah. I even lobster. I mean, lobster is there's no taste. Lobsters just the way to get butter into your face. That's all it is. It's like it doesn't really,

with no taste. That's an ocean snail. Yeah, it's an ocean crustacean that you just, if you don't dip it in a butter, there's no reason to eat it. I did eat escargot in Paris, though. Was it good? Oh my god, it was good. Yeah. I had always the first time in Canada. When?

I was I was I was doing a movie update. You know, you know, gave me the oysters for Hayden, Christensen. Darth Vader gave me oysters. We were doing a movie together because you have oysters? I go, no, he goes, all right. So I ate the oysters. They're like, I don't know if I like it. I know one was spicy. There was like an oyster like a tasting thing. It was like, it was almost like snot. It was like snotty kind of. I like oysters, man. So yeah, I do.

I like them. Hey, when you were working with them, how is he nice? Is he weird? He's weird. He's weird. Couldn't have been nicer. I heard he got a day job.

He went back to a regular job. I don't know. He was very sweet, very nice. How long ago was the movie? I don't know about a couple of years ago. It was the movie called Little Italy and we shot it in Toronto. It was really nice. It was him, Andrea, oh, you know what?

It was the last movie Danny I.L.O. did. Danny played my father-in-law. So it was the last one. So whenever he passed away, I, you know what? It was the last movie Danny I. L. O. Did. Danny played my father in law. So it was the last one. So whenever he passed away, I don't know what year that was. Wow. That's why. Yeah. He was a sweet man. You met Danny, right? Never.

You never met him. Uh, uh, I had opportunities, but I never, you know, I didn't want to go play fucking stupid, uh, Jersey. Uh, I had an opportunity. You know what? You know, I didn't meet and they actually Dennis actually wrote a, an episode of the job about it was De Niro. It was 9-11 hit.

We were doing, we were all doing those dinners to get people to come back down. Yeah. So we're traveling. So I had to do an interview and run them back and forth and we did want it to Niro's restaurant. He was there. Everybody met him. But me, I had to go do this.

I came back. He's gone. Everybody met him with but me. I had to go do this. I came back, he's gone. Everybody met him with me. And Dennis is just laughing at me. And he ended up writing an episode of the job where I never get the meetup. How did you, because you weren't, you were in, you were in the job. Yeah.

The man you shot. Yeah. Weas. You were great. But you weren't with me on that one. No, that was one of those episodes. When we did that show, there was always one tour to force Dennis episode.

So he would, something would happen to station house and then he had to go on vacation. It was just, and it was you and him for the whole episode. And I remember, I was like, I loved you. My name is the we, and the way you did that. I remember the episode. I thought you were great. I thought it was wild to me because I'm sitting there with,

I'm out at the Jersey Shore. They made that, they just made it Miami. They put in a bunch of fake palm trees. It looked like Miami. Yeah. And I'm sitting, I remember I came in to meet Dennis and he goes, we got these lines. What do you got? What do you got? And I was like, holy shit. Yeah. Like he's asking me to help him punch up this scene.

Yeah. When I started throwing stuff around, then he was, then he lit up a cigarette and was sitting there in the, he's just smoking in this hotel. Yeah. We're not supposed to smoke it. And then I remember he we were sitting there and he kept hearing them fiddle around and he's like, what the fuck are they doing? Yeah. And then he opens it, he goes, hit the fucking button. Yeah. Let's go roll it. And I was like,

what the fuck? Yeah. We had seen in a hospital, we're shooting a Lenny Clarks in the hospital bed, we're all around the whole cast in the hospital. Then this is smoking in the hospital, we're shooting in, Bobby, this is a fucking oxygen tank next to him. I go, D, I don't think you should be smoking. Ah, it's all right, I go, no, no, no. Because of science, that's a oxygen tank next to him.

All right, fine, I'll blow the smoke the other way. You feel better? Yeah, that'll save us. Yeah, I'll blow the smoke the other way. You feel better? Yeah. That'll save us. Yeah. That was the job was fucking awesome. In my head too, I'm doing that. And then I think it was day two.

I think day two is when we did 9-11 hit. Yeah. I was out. We were out there at 9-11. I was listening to the stern in my trail. And then he 9-11. I was listening to Stern in my trail. And then he, oh God, I think I have to change my band. Mochup! Oh my God, that soup, the soup is bad.

How did you hear that? I'm just glad this isn't smelly vision. But yeah, I was, and then all of a sudden, they took us all out. We all went to the beach, and you could see Manhattan on fire like the smoke coming up Yeah from the beach and you know Dennis was all fucked up everybody was fucked up They they tried to get us like you could drive home You have a car and I'm like I'm not driving to that. Yeah, I don't know if it's over Yeah, yeah, like people I'm not trying to go. Yeah. I don't know if it's over. Yeah, yeah.

Like people, I'm not trying to go to that. I'll stay out here. I didn't live there yet. I lived in LA at the time. I was on, I had an apartment on Fifth Avenue in Ninth Street, right by Washington Square Park. Yeah. And I was staying there and I was sleeping.

I didn't know because it happened in the morning. And my mother called me, woke me up. I picked it up at my, what's the matter? They're attacking high rises. What? I'm sending your father in with the boat. Go to the harbor. But my what are you mobilizing? What's going on? And that's when I found out what was happened. And I ran and I grabbed, I grabbed Maureen. I was living with Maureen. I grabbed Maureen at the gym. She starts crying. For some reason, we ended up at Jeff Ross' apartment, which she'll tell the wife and the baby, because he was at the Soho Grand,

and we all ended up at Ross' apartment, just not knowing what was going on. And I was still living it, because I was below 14th Street. So it was weird, because it was like that movie where the comet goes by, and all the people are gone. Yeah, we were reading it and it smelled it. Yeah, that was scary. Because I stayed here, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if it was like that movie where the comet goes by and all the people are gone. Yeah. We were reading it at Smell. Yeah, that was scary.

I, I, I, because I stayed here. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if it was safe or not. Yeah, we got stuck out there. I, they put us on one of those weird cheesy motels out in Jersey Shore. Mm hmm. I paired up with this smoking hot actress extra.

But okay. Um, but yeah, I remember that. I remember that. I remember doing the job, but in my brain, this is what a delusional fuck I am. For my brain, I'm thinking that Dennis, this episode goes so nuts. Yeah.

And my thing is so awesome that Dennis is like, we got to write Luis back in, where Luis is going to join the Academy and become a cop, you know, like whatever. And then I'm gonna wind up being a part of the show. Yeah, it never happened. Now, it's the same thing, like when you get an audition,

you're like, oh, I'll do this and then that'll happen. I haven't even put the thing on tape yet, and I'm negotiating for the second season. It's crazy, right? Yeah, that's the way your mind works. And then when the, when rescue me came, I'm like, oh, this is perfect. I mean, I'm fucking perfect for this.

Nothing. How many seasons? I think it went seven. Seven years. Not one day role. I mean, nothing. You know why? Because you're bam, bam. That's why the next thing you were a series regular, you were bam, bam. You're absolutely right. And I never, I never like bitched about it. Like, why you should be on that. It's like one of those things. You should be on that. You should, it's like,

dude, I'm not fucking relaxed. I'm fine. But I would have loved, rescue me to me was one of the best shows on TV. Yeah. And it was all like, you know what? Him, Dennis, Dennis and Tolen, and it was another writer whose name has escaped me right now. Oh, Evan, Evan Riley.

It was a bunch of guys that wrote that. I was like, the writing was so fucking good. And Dennis was so fucking generous with giving people opportunities. And you got to do drama, you got to do comic. I had the same thing when he's like, I'd get a call on the way that it says, like, I'm like the way that scenes ends,

comes to the trailer. Okay. So you get summoned to the trailer. He's like, what do you got? I said, what if I come over to Desk and punch you? Great. Call the stunt guy. And we just fight. Yeah, he's great like that.

Yeah, he would turn down at mostly everything I said. Hahaha. Yeah. Most of the everything I said. I remember the pressure he put on. I remember Tom, the sound guy sweating. It was the last shot of the day It was me and Jerry Adler. We were in a scene. It was a two-shot

And Dennis is sitting at video village and he's like this. I Hate the way this fucking scene ends Adam make me laugh. We're going again. That's it in front of everybody Jerry Lee cameras on me in one. I said something that got the laugh laugh. Everyone laughed, he goes, ah, that's a wrap. And Tom's taking a mic off me, goes, I was so fucking nervous for you. Oh, was I? Dude, I remember they had this song. I forget the name of it.

Larry comes up to me. We got, in a week and a half, a two weeks, we're shooting this scene with this song. You better know the drums. You better know the whole fucking song. So I money time I mean every day I'm going home dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb I learned this whole fucking thing I hire another drum coach I I'm literally coming home and drumming, learning the song. So we get to the thing, the yellow action,

the camera goes like this, I'm like, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, I cut, that's it. So you know, so I'm like, all right, maybe that's, maybe this is another cam angle. So you you got to keep maybe there's another angle. You're like, all right, moving on, I go, what the fuck? I lost it, I go, I just spent a fucking week and a half learning this fucking song. You do five mean words, I fucking threw my drumsticks.

I was like, what the fuck is this shit? There we go. No. The next scene is where I get kicked out of the band. Right. I gotta be mad, right? Right. There we go.

There we go. We'll go to the next scene right now. Get everything. Just film them. Go. So they, they get right, he wants me, he did, right? Yeah. So they yell, action. I'm like'm like fucking I kicked the drum. What the fuck? I was like, oh Jesus, this motherfucker.

Oh, did I ever tell you the Patrice story? No. Patrice had to play my Patrice had to play my cousin. Okay. So, the job is over. Me and Dennis produces this thing called Lendian Adam for Comedy Central. It's pretty much the odd couple. We lost our network show and how we're going to survive. We talked Dennis into giving us money to write a movie script, which we never write. We spent the money. So we got to get an office.

So I go to my cousin who's Patrice to get the office. So let me and Lendie walk in. It's next to him It's next to a rubbantug, right? So it's this room off the rubbantug There's people like just groaning and there's Patrice and we're supposed to speak Italian to each other. That's the gag So they we did this guy that writes out the speech for us. I got to learn Italian Bobby I learned it. I called I hired a coach. I called my grandmother. I go, how do you say this word? I'm studying this whole friggin' thing. I'm listening to it.

Pratee shows up. He's like, we're ready to run this. He's like, yeah, I didn't learn that at times. What do you want to do? That was it. He just said I didn't learn the Italian shit, plan B. And no, if I did that, I would have been fired. Yeah, no, cervical, cervical, cervical,

look to all of the men goes, all right, what do you got? I go, I got a whole speech and Italian, I got that. He goes, well, can you say anything? Well, he just nods. I go, these are the only words I know. This and I can order food. That's it. I can curse at you, order some food and say these words.

That's it. That's it. I can curse at you, order some food and say these words. That's it. That's all I can do. Uh, but Jesus is such a hugger. Shit. Yeah. He's looking. I remember he was looking at me. He's like, Adam, you know, you like one of those those kind of in shape fat guys. I go, really? We're going with body image right now. Malcolm triple X. And he was just he was one of those guys when you walk into the cell, you just, oh, please don't turn on me. But then he was so fucking funny.

And I was with him the last when he got diagnosed. And we were doing a college together. And we go through this whole thing, Bobby, about, because my father had type two diabetes. Go through the whole thing, you gotta do this, you gotta do that. And he's really sincere. And he he's like I said, yeah, it's a bitch man But you got to do it. This is we can't you can't fuck her out. I was yeah, I know We're in a car service going home. Yes to call go through Wendy's

He's been 45 dollars on Wendy's shit on the way home and I ate nothing none of it was for me Yeah, dude I'm telling you I knew after the diabetes would drive at home from an opian Anthony virus gig And he's got Bobby got a pullover I'm telling you, I knew after the diabetes, we're driving home from an opian Anthony virus gig, and he's got a bar, we got to pull over. Why? I got a piss. I pull over, he pissed outside. Two more times, he's got a piss.

Then we stop at a gas station for him to piss. And he comes out, I come out of the bathroom, he's got a fucking honey bun on a you who in his hand. And I slapped him out of his hand. I go, we're never gonna make it home. Yeah. You're gonna piss every fucking five feet, you lunatic. Unbelievable. All right, listen, I gotta wrap this up. Hi, baby. God damn it, you made me laugh today. I miss you, man. I want to come up to the

tiny house and laugh at them. Uncle Vinnie's Friday and Saturday. Friday and Saturday, if you do yourself a favor, go see one of the best in the business ever. Look at this right here. Look at all those dates. What are we got? Oh, damn. Saturday, we got Milwaukee coming up. Mm-hmm. The Mthorpe coming up. Look at all these dates. Mumbum, mumbum. The Ch... I mean, you're working all on the East Coast. If you get a chance to see Adam go,

he is fucking one of the best. He's been doing it for years and at a high level. I'm telling you, no one makes me laugh. You crack me up, dude. You're always doing life and on stage. I love you. You're fucking the best. I got a couple questions for you though from the fans if you don't mind. Oh, yeah, let's do it. All right. This is from Lou, one of the ladybug, one of the, the queen, Lou. I love for Adam to talk about his time on Tough Crowd. Oh, that's an interesting

question. Tough crowd, it was fun. It was like the table at the seller. It was a little intimidating, because like I said, Patrice is there, and that's the king. Colin is always, Colin is very, very smart. And I remember, I did this intro of Montreal when I had to bring Colin up on stage. And I remember, I remember because he laughed.

They said, this next act really annoys me, because we both work out at the cellar, and when I think I've written something smart and funny, and I do it on stage, and I see him take the same topic, it just beats the shit out of me. So yeah, it was fun to do, but it was a little intimidating, and I did it a couple times, but it was just like being at the cellar, and you got to bring your game. You know, you got to bring, you can't just be funny. You got to make a point. So it was, it was one of those shows that you really had to be at the top of your game. So it was always take my notes because I would write notes. Yeah. You get the topics the day before. Yeah.

So you'd have a night to write some stuff for it and every time if he got near my notes He'd take him and rip him up and throw him Yeah Maybe like be funny stupid. I'm like, oh yeah be funny But you also got to be also got to be educated so it wasn't just you know, it wasn't just funny shit It was like there was it was it was it was social comment and you had to know something, you know That was the thing. Oh shit. I got a no shit, you know. All right, I got another one. You ready? Yeah, the question. Rob, brug, brug, what?

Brugman. What a lot of men. Brugman, that's I want to, I want to be a police captain and yell that out. Brugman, get in here. Love the show, Rescue Me with Adam Leary and a stellar cast. Is there any chance we'll see Adam in another dramedy series like the one, like that again, O'Willie B with Reality TV, or stand up for now? Follow up, Crushing Willie he bring Bobby as the drummer?

Yes, let's start a band. We'll call it Tiny House. I'll play the guitar, you play the drums. I would love to go back to the drums. You would? You would? Yeah, I mean, we got, we got a chance to do everything,

even on the job. Dennis is writing and single-camera cable stuff lets you do all that stuff. I mean, you got to do stuff, even on the job. Dennis is writing and single camera cable stuff, lets you do all that stuff. I mean, you got to do stuff, even in sex and drugs. You have your moments where you're real and you have your ridiculous moments. We did these little web episodes in between seasons. We did, they were like 10 minute episodes

that we would just put up, effects would put up. We did one with no words. It was the old Vaudeville door sketch. Lou, Scirties character comes in, puts down a sandwich, gets up to go get something, everyone comes in and out and takes a bite of the sandwich and it was all choreographed. And then he came back in the fucking sandwich is gone. And that was the whole bit, there was no words, no nothing. It was all like a dance. And that comes out of his head.

So yeah, I would love to do that again. I've been real fortunate because I got to do like all the top gear shit and a reality TV and stand up. And my friend Bobby talked me into doing a podcast which I really, really love and it's a lot of work. You didn't tell me that. You didn't tell me that. I didn't tell you that.

I did, I did I did Said it's not about fucking numbers. It's about consistency. Yeah, that's the hard part. Yes I'm consistently out of energy. That's what it is What's the day tell everybody the name of the podcast go 30 minutes. You'll never get back Bobby has been on it Who's on I think Brad Garrett's on this week? Oh? It's great. He was great. He good one. Yeah, he was great. He opened for Sinatra when he was a kid. Wow. Yeah, so he opened for Sinatra, right?

And he goes on stage and his mother is there, the whole thing. And then he ends up open for Sammy. And this like when Sammy Davis was like kind of at the end of his life a little bit. So he's in Vegas, he's opening for it. And he's real kind, Sammy. And he's like, Brad, thanks for being here. The chaps aren't what they used to be, but we're going to get through it, right? Right.

So that's his thing, because he knew he was getting old. Brad's mother's in the audience says, I would love to meet Sammy after the show. Okay, they bring him back, and Sammy says the same thing. It is so nice of you to come, Sammy. The chaps aren't what they used to be, but I hope I entertain you. Brad's mother looked at him and went, every night can't be magic, Sam.

She sounds just like Brad. Oh, and Brad goes, I shrunk, I fucking shrunk. How do you say that? What? He brought it up. I'm sorry. So yeah, I'm having a, oh, you know who I got on.

I just interviewed this, she's a Seattle Seahawks cheerleader whose roommate was a serial killer. Oh, that's a good one. Man, I couldn't believe it. I got my friend newer and told me the story and she told me the story how this guy lived with them and he turned out to be a serial killer. Wow. Yeah. Why am I so fascinated with serial killers? I don't know, but I am too.

I had an FBI agent who worked on the Bundy case that was creepy is it bad that I root for them No, it's it's it's it's scary All right speaking is serial killers. I have to read the names. We got the Al Viro Mora. Thank you for being a member David Mosha Emma Richard and Ian, you guys are the best, your new Patreon members. I hope you enjoy the Patreon. Of course, we had Cohtar and Kelly, yes, A,

we had YKWD today. You guys are in the chat. We got an extra YKWD coming up this week, only for Patreon members. And we got Friday's Cohtar and Kelly, only for Patreon members. And I Fridays, Calthur and Kelly, only for Patreon members. And I will be in the JOP, you should come in the JOP one night. Every Saturday night at 10.30,

we come in all the fans of there on a Zoom, we all hang out, we talk a little bit, make each other laugh, talk about some outrageous stuff. This Saturday night is no different. That is patreon.com, access Robert Kelly, go to That is patreon.com, access Robert Kelly, go to comicwearables.com, get all your YKWD,

culture and Kelly gear, and make sure you go to my website, Robertkellylive.com. I will be at the nasty show for until the first doing the nasty show in Montreal. And then I will be a port Charlotte, with me and mush will be there on the 4th to the 6th. And then I'll be Asbury Park on the 25th doing the Feehan being a Hama. And then I'll be at the 26th. Obviously, I'm going to Cincinnati to go to the

Bruhaha, Sawyer Point Park. So look at my dates, Robert Kelly live.com. I think I'm going to Israel at some point. Also, thank you, muzzle tough. And you guys are the best fans in the world. Make sure you check him out. Mush, what do you got? Follow me. Mike Vswaras. You also have the business read. Oh, where is that? I didn't see it. It's at the top of the, uh, email email top of the email. Nope, it is not That's a little a little further than the right idea. Hey Malik gems, right mush. Yes, sir. This company is unbelievable. Malik gems Has an ever growing variety of beautiful tungsten carbon rings to fit any style version of your life You want to look gaudy like rich voss with your little hands, shining all over the place. We got your covered. You want to sleek cool look. They got your

covered for that. You want to shine bright, be noticed and peacock a little bit. Well, these guys got your covered. Go to mallocjems.com. Use promo code YKWD for 15% off your order. Check them out right now malletjems.com. Thank you for being a business read, tier member, love you guys. And the show, mush, where are you gonna be, besides with me? This weekend, if you're watching live,

I'll be with Rich Voss at the punchline in Philly, and next week with Laffa up the Kipsey. And Adam, you are a fucking superstar. I love you. You're one of the nicest guys ever met in the business outside the business. I love you. I hope to see you soon. All right. I love you to my friend, best of the family. And I appreciate always spending time with you mush. Be well and be safe. All right, my friend?

You too. What's up for those possums? Take care, brother. Hi for those possums Take care guys take care See you in my shoot gun you know what that You've been listening to the YKWD podcast Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs.

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