Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Adam Ferrara, Sean Donnelly | Three Fingers

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

This weeks YKWD we're joined by Adam Ferrara and Sean Donnelly as we get into filming complications, alien abductions and remembering Fez Whatley! Get the EXTRA 20 PLUS of YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Si no, por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga.

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And there's no rules See, I know you're ruining this Perfect for a damn amount of history That's not gonna be my cast This is an NPR That's the fuck I've done Is there any better show? This is the original

Original this is the original original. Yes, you know what, Dad? We're back. We're back. I'm very excited to be back in the studio in New York City. The beautiful, well, ex-beautiful New York City, the passionate New York City, we're here again. We have a full house and thank you for all the Patreon members Patreon.com, Stats Robert Kelly. If you're watching on YouTube, make sure you hit that subscribe button, click it, don't be in a, don't come here, watch and not

subscribe. That is a fucking stealing. Hit the like button, comment, say some shit. I'm not gonna read it, but Mike will. And tell me about you, Cogsackers. And also make sure you go to patreon.com, slash Robert Kelly, and get all the extra extra goodies, especially the YKWD extras that we put up there every week, only for Patreon members. And there you go. What else? That's it, right? That's all we got. I wanted to do this to show Gabby's here.

Hello. Oh. Oh. I can't even say fucking hi anymore. No, Gabby's here. I miss you. I miss you too. I do.

I do. I miss you like a kid. Yeah, I'm your child. Yeah, I know. And I miss you too. I do, I do, I miss you like a kid. Yeah, I'm your child. Yeah, I know, and I don't like that you're out there. I mean, introduce the show. Before I have my bone to pick with. Before you attack me, cool. It's not called attack.

It's called a reprimand. No, it's not, it's a bone to pick. Back in the day, it was a bone. Now you got to pick the pick. You attacked me, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to help you. I wish you would attack me. Oh, so you would you fucking what are you gonna violence with violence? Yeah, what are you gonna get a fucking in-text pool? Yeah You can have my burn of doodle in my house. Cut hell. Yeah, and don you can have mom go we have Adam Ferrara

Hello, please. Hey push the button push the button And Sean donnelly What's up fellas I was a button I want you want a clap button you want a sound effect button like it's like I have one at my shed My shed it has most stuff than this room What are you just sitting with a cigar in the button go? Yeah, I fucking do, dude. I I am it's getting scary fat because I could literally I don't have to come here anymore. I'm that like radio guy at the end of his career where he

I mean I don't tell anybody. I'm not I'm St. Louis. I'm really down on the Kings. I'll do another eight months press out of my garage Doing the room and this is the voice in the room. Yeah, that happens in Whatever it is a lot a lot of them. Yeah, yeah, listen I'm not I'm not in I'm not Buffalo right now My house is South Carolina Make sure you don't mention that. I'll lie the whole time. I've given up.

Yeah, I pretty much done now. I'm doing it. I got a wire sticking to my window. I'll come into my living room every day and I feed my fucking hummingbirds and I do them a three hour show. But you did that with your shed because you can't not buy tech. You are the techiest tech guy that I know that you love bells and whistles. You love, we've, I'm not disparaging.

No, I love you. I'm, I'm, you're, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, you're, I'm, I'm facing my reality. Yes. As you're talking, I hear my wife and me. No, I have a new show called what's in the box dude Because I looked in my house. I had so many boxes of shings like when the Amazon me and the Amazon guy like know each other You know what I mean like again with this fucking guy dude. I get so

My UPS guy sold me headphones He's a girl man. You like headphones. I see you get some head Okay, wait a minute wait a minute. Did he go in the back and just start opening boxes till he found headphones No, he was like dude. I got these really cool headphones. I was like we'll bring him over Yeah, I bought them 20 bucks. They were great for like a week. Yeah, they were fucking awesome You know you gave me a tech advice, but you said you know, I buy stuff at the airport So I'm like that can't be cheap, but the airport can have like pretty cool tech stuff. Oh, I want this is what bugs the people, the airport electric electronic places.

Yeah. Hate me because I know everything. So I'll go in and ask you a question, even in Best Buy, they fucking hate me. Because I'll go and I, hey, what about what does this do? What does the, do you have this? And they'll be like, well, I don't think so. And I'm going to, hey, what about, what does this do? What does the, do you have this? And they'll be like, well, I don't think so. And I'll walk over, go, it's right here. And they'll be like, and I'm like, does this do this?

I don't think, no, it does do that because it has this much voltage, and that voltage works on only this, but I'm looking for the other. And they're like, they're looking at me like, well, if you know so much, fatso, this is, they're like, I'm 19. Yeah, yeah, if you know so much FATSO, they're like, I'm 19.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a joke. Go to your flight, asshole. First of all, they're not 19. They're usually 38. Yeah. And they're miserable. So you ever run into it where they think they know everything.

They're telling you like the specs of things. Oh, I've been whacked. And you know, I just want to pair of your buds for the flight, because I can't use my Apple. Well, that's a, that's a Sam Ash. Any music store. Yeah. Bike stores music stores have the worst human beings in the world.

Because it's just failed whatever that store was. Yes, it's a failed yeah toward the France bike stores. Music stores I can get because they think they're in the band and they don't want to be the bike stores saying the bike stores. I don't just garbage people. They hate that fat Bob comes in with his kid and his chubby wife. What kind of bike should we get? And like none.

How about, how about lose some weight first before I try to? You're going to be in the next month. The entire is going to be flat. Your rims are going to be bent. You're fucking too tuntesey. And then I'm, they just hate you. They have no, because they're so into it. And occasionally like a fly fishing store will be a little country. Right. But music stores.

Sam Ash guitar center. Yeah. You walk in. Hey, can I get headphones? Well, what are you using them for? Yeah. To listen to music. Well, what type of music you guys? Yeah. or is it metal? I don't listen to jazz, excuse me. All right, fuckin' whatever. It's the upsell. It's the absolute upsell. Well, there's hipsters of whatever, top and the upsell is that they know how they're audio files. You know, like when you go to a camera store,

like be an H, you better know what the fuck you're talkin' about and you better get it before it gets dark as they're going home. Oh, the Jews. That would be my button. The Jews are showing up at B&H. Shonda. Shonda is 657 at B&H. Shabbat Shalom. Yeah.

What are you nuts? It's funny. Yeah, it is true. I know where my bag Yeah. Buddy, it nuts. It's funny. Yeah, it is true. I don't know where my bag is. Is my bag somewhere? What do you have? Can I? You want me to get it?

No, I'll get a cap. You're very flexible and young, but I'll bend over and do it. It's literally right next to you. Fucking hurt it. I'll get a kidney stone. You asked him to do him a favor, and he took it as an insult.

Yeah, I know. That's kind of our beautiful relationship. I have the other fat guy in the room get it. Maybe you could have picked it up. It's exercise. You're fucking. I could have grabbed that right with my toes. That's a yoga pose.

I think getting that back. I mean, she didn't even unfold her fucking giraffe leg. EPS headphones. Oh, poor. No, I'll tell you what this is right here. Ready? This right here. Why is my mic going in and out?

It's time for new tech. Why is the mic going in and out? Hello, my mic. You're good. You're good. Anyways, it might be a stroke. My head phone. This right here.

Yeah. I can podcast. This is my podcasting for the road. Okay. Oh, yeah, you hook it. It just goes right into your phone. Oh, I use film it in a box. Filmic pro, filmic, filmic pro, which she lets you shoot a 4K. Okay.

So it lets you use your phone's camera and you can actually use both cameras so I can film you and me at the same time. Wow. Wow. Yeah, I'm so open-backed. I can film you and me at the same time, okay? Put it on a little, I have a little clamp in my bag too, I'll show you that. It's just a little clamp on anything

and it holds the phone up. And then you hook this, it's called the Road Go 2. You hook this up to, you just click this on and it has a little lab, but this is a mic too. That's a mic, or you can use the lab and put the lab in and put it right here. And then you plug this part,

so you're gonna use this way. You plug this part into your phone, just plug it into the lightning part, and this hangs on your phone, and then it's wireless. So, you go on stage, record your sets. Now, I got to get this. You can have your audio's like 10,000.

Yeah, and if you really want, because some people like holding a microphone when they do podcasts, like if you do an interview, I mean, I like this one. Yeah, but if you, some people like, you know, if you do an interview, whatever, right? So I got these. So check this out. I feel like Bobby's two weeks away from hiring lighting grips. Just on the road. It's just on the road. Just bring two interns on the road.

It makes this into a wireless microphone. So you can literally interview people with a camera, your phone, as the camera. So let's say we use it, we're using a wireless, we both have a lot of, you shoot in like a diner. You just put the thing right between. That's it. So let's say we use, we're using a wireless, we both have a lot. Yeah. You shoot in like a diner. You just put the thing right between. That's it. And that's it. I didn't know the iPhone could use two cameras simultaneously.

Yeah. I had no clue. They don't believe that. And what's all they do tell you that you just don't need nobody's attention to it. This is the road go to road go to set up. And that's it right there. I mean, you can even make it smaller because you really don't need the handheld shit. Right. And you got this from the UPS guy. I got that

that came in a box that came from Adorama. Adorama is the shit by the way. Adorama. Adorama. It's like a fancy one. It's Adorama is the pro. Being H. Right. Being H is where every fucking I mean it's you. Just, yeah. Adorama is, you know, they're create shit. They make stuff. They have a lot of creators that go there. I live a right by Adorama. Adorama is the shit.

And that's love Adorama. That's the goyum. Yeah, that, that's the goyums. That's the goyums, but they do have some, uh, you little dittles. You know what the tech thing I was gonna get is that I have no reason to get is the, the Lika cameras. The Lika ones are so awesome.

Yeah, they're fucking great, but they're expensive. They're super expensive, super expensive. I wouldn't be able to do it, but I would love to. Yeah, I love gadgets. I know. So when I walk into those stores in the airport, they're like, what are you looking for? And I go, something I don't need. No, you're looking for an argument.

You're looking for it because you're coming in that you know all this stuff. You're not gonna strut your stuff. But I'm also looking for, I'm looking for that thing that I, that I didn't know I needed. That's gonna make me happy for a moment. They had an iPhone case. See, I need the AirPods, my AirPods Pros. I love them.

I love them, I have them, right? But I had a case that I needed, I wanted to hang on my back. So when I go in, I have them, right? But I had a case that I needed, I wanted to hang on my back. So when I go in, I have this sling that has everything in it. So I put my bag up top and I have my sling and I hook it with a Caribbean onto the back of the chair. I'm done, everything's in there, whatever I need.

I got a snack, I got water, I got all my shit. I don't get up for the flight unless, my foot goes numb and I'm dying. So I had this case, but it would kept opening. So you bump into it and the fucking airpods fly everywhere. We're as filling in the world as a fat guy to have an air pod drop mid flight and just go under the, oh,

I don't even know where it goes. And then you hear ding and the seat belt light goes on. Now you just sit in there waiting to ask for help. Oh God, excuse me. Oh, you have to wait till everybody gets off the plane and then fucking hold your breath. And then go down and try to find it. Yeah.

And then deep dive under the chair. Can I help you? Hang on one second. Yeah. We'll pressurize air thoughts. They were collecting all the Kansas of air. So fucking terrible. But I got this other, I finally found it hang on one second. Yeah, so- Well, it pressurized air thoughts, they were collecting the cans of the air. So fucking terrible. But I got this out, I finally found it, I walked in.

Didn't you have those, you had those custom made ones last time, I swear. I did have those, yeah, I had ultimate ears. Yeah, you have, you can, but now you can get those cheap. Right. They have this one that you put, these are fucking nuts. You put them in your ear, you push the button, they heat up in your ear.

I'm out. And they mold, and they mold to your ear. Why? Because I'm like, I'm pushing a heating, I can't the hell out. Isn't that usually not good for it? It doesn't heat up to burn you. It's just, it warms up. Warms, I use the word warms.

Still not doing it. You know, you never had a hug when you were a kid that I'm not in my ear. I never had it when I hug my, the hammer angle a kid, but not in my ear. I never had it in my head. I never had a hug in my, the hammer angle and stir up little bones in my ear. I'm not putting shit in there to expand. This feels like two tongues in your ear.

Yeah, gross. Yeah, I think I'll add it. How's my thing? I like it, I like it, I like it. I like it, I like it. Hugging me ear. You talk soft in my ear. I don't care who you are.

I will kiss you. You should be like that. That was the AMRS, that was that was bring shit. What's up, what's up? What was this thing? Put the hand down. Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't know I was Italian? First time you're discovering this.

Come here, I wanna put this in your ass and warm it up. What I'm, you like the way, I don't like the whisper. Listen man, I just got a great joke about it last week because I turned on, I couldn't sleep. And I went to YouTube and it said fall asleep in 30 seconds. And all of a sudden you hit the button, it's like this beautiful woman I would imagine. Hello, thank you for joining me.

I will take you on this ride into the beautiful areas of your brain. If you follow me, and I didn't get sleepy, I got heart, I went into a fantasy that she was the chick on the butter and I, and I've met her. Which butter? Lendelaic?

Lendelaic? Yes, that's it. It's very progressive, it's not the girl that makes them heart, it's butter. Butter gets both heart. That's the key. Yeah. I mean, if you really want to put me to sleep, it should have just been like my wife going,

okay, let me tell you something. I need you to go out to the back, it's filthy, it's not working. Then it's like your shed's a mess. I'm not cleaning it. I'm not cleaning it. That works. But yeah, no, I do like this stuff,

but I'm not into that. I'm into gadgets. I'm into things like this case. I found the case with a carabiner, right? That locks. So it doesn't open. It doesn't happen. Yeah.

So I like finding the, there's somebody out there engineering Something to make something fucking out like cases look at this case. Yeah, like I was like I need a case to carry my shit They give you this little one and then I found this case I find all this shit and then I was like well I want the labs to stick on my shit So they make these little things that you stick here. Oh, those are good. You stick that there, right?

It's like when you shoot something and the audio guy has that exact thing. Yeah. And then you stick it on your thing. I had the vampire clips with the left. Oh, those hurt. Oh, they hurt. I caught my nipple on one of those.

Yeah, now my nipple looks weird. Forever? I got a vampire nipple. I haven't looked in a while, but I think it might have healed. It's not. You have a feel weird when they have to run the wire up your shirt. Like haven't looked in a while, but I think it might have healed. It's okay. You have a feel weird when they have to run the wire up your shirt. Like they, they, they, they, there's what, here's what sucks about that. Sound people have no, some of them are fucking assholes.

Yeah. And they have, they don't give a fuck. Their job is, they know sound is the most important thing in any production. It's, it's, I mean, it's up there with fucking visual. And if you see anything, I have services, how tales are big. Landelikes butter. Yeah, that's right. But if you, if you see videos on YouTube, right?

Or even on Instagram, when the sound is different in everything, it's like this guy sounds different that one. These sound guys make, if you hear the difference in a sound, it takes you out of the movie, it takes you out of the video. So they know how important they are and they know how hard their job is to make that fucking righteous. And they just, they don't give a fuck about you.

They'll come over, just pick your shirt up and fucking expose my stomach in front of like the leading chick. Yeah. And like, you know, and I'm like, dude, what the fuck? I mean, I know I'm not gonna bang her, but at least the fantasy keeps me going all day. Right, right.

She might like me. Yeah. What do you mean? Like, I know it's not real, but the fantasy that she might, there's something in her that finds me attractive, keeps me coming here, like in history class, with fucking Janice.

Okay, I know she didn't like me, she did it black dudes, but maybe one day, and I went to history and I passed, because she might have fucking bagged me. They pick a shit, my stomach comes out. I'm like, if I was a woman, would you do that? No. Treat me like a woman. Yeah.

That, you're absolutely right, it's super awkward. All right, so that's what keeps you going on a set. I'm just trying to remember my lines. I'm probably doing it wrong. You know what? Okay, fucking. Here's the other, do you ever have an ankle? Before I got the joke out, you fucking cut me off.

I'm sorry. I forgot the joke. So it's my fault. No, I was gonna smash you, so it's better for you. Yeah. Yeah, it's my fault. No, I don't know what it was. You actually saved me.

And saved yourself because I didn't have it. Was it an Italian line job? No, it was. No, it was pizza by, yeah. It was, who was the, who was the young, the old, when you call somebody and like a nerd back in the day, the show? Point next, no point.

No, who was the show beaver? Leave it to beaver to beaver. Leave it to beaver. I was gonna call him leave it to beaver. But I couldn't maybe I couldn't remember the leave it part Yeah, even you know, even now that you got it. It still doesn't work So you got me in the end all right, so you actually switched it up that good for you More you're gonna say I could say you ever have an ankle. I've had that and they got to put the plum down your Yeah, it's a wait they just the plum down your pants. Yeah.

So it's a weight. They just drop it down your pants and pull it. Yeah, the bullet, right down. Left nut, bang, right there, left nut. Really? They hit you, not, hit my nut. Oh, what'd you do? I tried not to, not to cringe, because it was a lady.

And that's, that's one of those things where, sometimes the softer the head nails you so hard. It's placement. Yeah. It's placement. Yeah, it's this of those things where the Sometimes the softer the hit nails you just it's placement. I'm convinced it's placement. Yeah, it is what point blank left nut You don't know what this is. I have no idea what this is like. You don't want to know it It's like when they destroy the death star like there's this one spot on your Hit and then it just blows up right you're just nauseous a medium. Yeah, yeah, right? That's what you're saying. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Yeah. It's a weird nuts. A weird like that. Very, very, you can almost get kicked in the nuts, but that is worth it. That one little part, the vulnerable part of your nuts. It's your funny bone. Your funny nuts. The funny bone of your nuts. Like, yeah, I've not had an elbow.

But it's actually worse. I would rather, let me ask you this. Would you rather hit your funny bone or get hit in the like that one spot? I'll take the funny I'll take the funny bone. I think funny bone. I actually had a girl sucking my nuts Hit it By so like popped it popped it like hit it and I was like that she got it. I was like oh my god You like that? I was like absolutely not I don't I'll give you headphones knock the wind out of your camera. I don't do that again. It was like easy, easy. I'm not a fucking dog.

You're working, you're working, you're confusing set of emotions. Yeah. It's good, good, good, and then it's not so good. But on the movies, it took me out. It's like the sound is all. I don't even have to start again. That's a bit impressive.

I am fucking Winslow. Yeah. He's back. He's back. He was on America's gut talent. He's back. I mean, I don't know if you could do an hour. No.

It must be. It must have. It has an hour. I mean, in life, I'm not even saying act wise. That's a weird gift. Yeah. But once you get past the gun you've done You know, it's like I raised there is there is yeah, he uh, it looks good god bless him Yeah, he looks good his story was good took off time to care to kids came back. Oh, I still got the noises in me

Yeah, he's still got the noises in it. Yeah, we just don't know if he's just getting crazy in there. I don't think he took off though. Wasn't he hasn't even been working clubs for like 40 years? He was working clubs when I started because I remember seeing the 8x10s, but then he just, you know, just... Listen, everybody, including me, says that when the career goes down, I had to take care of the kids. I got to, look man, I got to do what I got to do.

I'm taking time off to write. I really would have put the pedal to the metal, but I let Mark Norman take over. It turns out the kids eat every day. Yeah, Tim Dylan's much better at this than I am right now. I'm gonna go take care of Maxon. Hopefully he's a superstar. Yeah, he's, you could, you're killing it with him.

If you could do stuff out of your house, see how much stuff did you realize you could, you could do out of your house since this thing hit? Everything but stand up. Yeah. And I could have done stand up in the house, but I refused. I refused.

I refused. Zoom shows. I refused. I refused to get, walking on stage like this weekend, getting on stage. Yeah. In front of the road, Allen crowd, when you walk up,

you feel, you feel they know you. Yeah. They give you this thing of, Hey man, we're here for you. You can't get, you can't get that. And then when you tell, when you say the first thing and they're just fucking, you can't, you can't get zoom is not stand up. It's not stand up.

It was money. Yeah, that's it. It was money and I would rather go without it until I until I could. I mean believe me, I would have fucking done it if I had to support my family. Oh, I'd fucking be in front of a green screen. I would have cleaned everything up.

I'd be like, I would have went corporate, hey Gary, would you get that hat? He's crazy right guys. Yeah. I'm not stupid. Let's do it. Make it beat up on a jelly every day. Come on. I mean, get a subway once. You're like counting. Oh my God. Yeah, exactly. I have I had a couple of comics tell me that I started with Zoom shows. I go, no, you didn't. That doesn't, that doesn't exist. That's not a thing. You can't. You can't. If you start doing Zoom shows, you haven't started doing stand-up yet.

It's, I think you're right. I mean, stand-up is you have to get in front of that crowd. Yeah. And stand-up is that shared experience in that room, being in the moment with all those people. Yeah, that's why whenever somebody's set is recorded and put it online, it's taken out of context because it's like the shared experience That you're only experiencing in that room and you can't go and put that out in the world and then go

Yeah, it's the same exact thing and zoom is just the live version of that yeah, and you the the Fucking seconds that it takes to you to say something for them to get it and laugh that it takes to you to say something for them to get it and laugh at certain heights, like certain jokes get this laugh, certain jokes get that laugh. You know where the punch line is and you know what the tags are. I've actually done my first, my, it wasn't my premium blend. I forgot the rest of the joke because they laugh so loud.

They punch line laughed at my setup that I didn't do the rest of the joke. So at the end, I didn't do the joke. It was like fuck, because I never experienced that round up crowd like that. Well that's late night, because if they like a joke, they're conditioned to clap. So they don't, like I, when they let them in or let them in,

I would always put my best joke second to last. Because the last joke you say good night in the band kicks in, so why am I going to waste in a blows break? So I put it second to last. And then you got to cut all your tags because if they like the joke and they laugh at the punch line, they're going to clap. So they're onto the next piece of business. And then you're done. Yeah. And you're done.

And I was like, when I did a half hours in Boston, I taped it. I screwed up a joke two times in a row. And because it was taping, they think they're in on something. So like, I taped it. I screwed up a joke two times in a row. And because it was a taping, they think they're in on something. So like, I did it the third time, and it got like almost standing ovation. So much to look so weird, because like, they realized, that's what I'm saying about shared experience, they saw.

Yeah. They saw like, oh, you tried it, you tried it, yeah, we're on your side. That's very different. You need sound editing, so it's all leaving. Yeah, exactly. You know, it's so funny too. I did the comics anonymous with Vos and Mike De Stefano. Right? Yeah.

Chris Chris who? Just a mic. Christopher No, there's Mike that you own. No, Chris De Stefano. Christopher. Yeah. And Mike. Back you know, back you know, Mike De Stefano. Oh, yeah, Mike De Stef Stefan was different because it might the Stefano. Yeah, I passed away Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's his name Mike the Stefano. Yeah, D's the final. D's the final yet asked all right Where are we is he? We're literally fucking just killing his memory is what we're doing. That's the late like he meant nothing D's the fun the Stefan the Stefan the Stefan. Oh, you're from the honest the Stefano. It's the Stefano

It's the Stefano. It's the Stefano. It's the STF-A-N-O. It's the STF-A-N-O. That's why. Is it the Stefano? I probably, yeah. You would know better than that. All right.

Can we move on? He's dead. The guy who died. Rest in peace, Mike. All right. I love Mike. But he did this, uh, comics and on of us. And it was the first time I ever, I fucked up a joke.

Right. And I went to the producer. I go, I'm going back out. And like, what? I go, I'm going, you know, it was the first time I ever, I fucked up a joke. Right. And I went to the producer, I go, I'm going back out. And like, what? I go, they know it was great. I go, no, I'm going back out after this comic, and I'm gonna redo the joke. And I go, all right. And I walked out and I said, listen,

I fucked up this joke, laugh. I don't give a shit. That's what I mean. And they, but the problem was they laughed at everything. I went, hey, the, uh, I don't know how to get every word. Laugh at the punchline. You fucking morons. And I redid the joke. And the producers put it in. If they put it in, yeah. I mean, look, it's a taping. Live, live, Look, 99% of our shit is live, right? And you can't go back and say, hey, let me do that over.

What are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah, they'll flip out. But you're right, there's something about getting on stage, because you're going out, I'm going to do this. And somebody does this, and you're just off somewhere else. Because there's no, the boundaries are gone, so you're flying. I just did CB Live in Arizona

and that energy comes at you. And I'm like, I wanna try this, this, and this. Somebody coughed, somebody said something, that's it, I'm here for 10 minutes. We're riffing for 10 minutes, but that opened window with the audience. How do you not take advantage of it? It's hard.

It's better than the prepared material. Because it's hard too, because people say you're afraid now of getting canceled, because when that happens, your comic instincts kind of come out and you just start saying shit. And you don't know.

I think I call the guy Sissy Boy. I said, I go, you Sissy Boy. Where was this? Where was this? Wait, what was that? What was that? It's reading. But I was after I'm like, oh, you sissy boy. Where was it? Where was it? Wait, what was it? What was it? It's reading. But I was after I was like, oh shit, can you say that?

I was like, you know what, Bobby, you can say anything. Nobody's canceling you. What are they going to cancel? A Tuesday night somewhere. What are they going to do? You know what I mean? All my friends have been canceled or should be canceled. I'm not with the new generation. I could say whatever I want. You know what I mean? All my friends, all my friends have been canceled or should be canceled.

I'm not with the new generation. I can say whatever I want, but it's, yeah, I just couldn't do that zoom shit. It's just people who did it, did it good. I did a couple of corporates and I did, you know what I really enjoyed doing was I did a bunch of stuff for the veterans, you know, just charity stuff to do it. Oh, I do that in a second.

All over Zoom, right in my garage. Oh, I do, I do stuff for the it. Oh, I do that a second. All over Zoom, right in my garage. Oh, I do, I do stuff for the troops and a chicken house. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'd for, yeah. Oh, big ass. I got a bang like, hey, would you consider, I go, when? Boom, bang.

It was right there. And they was so appreciative. And it was just, it was like I started doing my act and then I just started just talking to them. And it was just that connection. Oh, yeah. I think that's the better thing to do on those things. It's just to be like, oh yeah, let me go down the line

and what's so much more. Don't have expectations of where you think the left should be because it's a different delivery system. Yeah, I did shows where I was just go, is this funny? And then I would just say so. Cause like who cares at that point? Not like a corporate or a charity, but like a random somebody's random Zoom show,

I would do it and go, how about this? What about this? What about this? What about this? And then nobody cared? Yeah, I mean, I maybe I just couldn't do it. I just can't, because I need to fucking connect with them. Yes, absolutely. And as soon as I get on stage, sometimes I don't say anything,

but a lot of times I'll do, what's up in your head? You know what I mean? I just see somebody's face and it makes me annoyed or it makes me laugh. Or I don't know, I, it sounds like you need to vent. It doesn't sound like, I just see somebody's face and it makes me annoyed or it makes me laugh. Or I don't know, I, it sounds like you need to vent. It doesn't sound like you did. No, it's up with your head.

Well, just certain things hit me, you know, where I'm just like, you know, I'll cease. I don't know, it just hits me and I'm there with you. Yeah. And now we're just going together for the next hour. All the pretense is gone and you're both present in that moment, so. Yeah. Yeah. And for the next hour. All the pretense has gone and you're both present in that moment, so. Yeah.

And with the Zoom show, yeah. You've been there for a minute already. I don't like seeing the audience. I don't like, one of my biggest pet peeves of fucking feature acts and MCs, is they come into the green room and they just leave the door open.

Right. And you see people as the people are coming in. and MCs, is they come into the green room and they just leave the door open. And you see people, like people as the people are coming in and they're like, you shut the fucking door. I don't want to see people. I don't want to see them till I get the fuck on stage. I want to... This is magic, right? They're paying to see me. This is my entrance.

Am I wrong? No, it's just Tom McCloser, freaking door. They never do. They fucking, they just leave it open and then they Sorry, you're gonna have the door closed. Yes I don't want to fucking see that dude because somebody feel like someone you make that connection They feel like they can automatically. I don't like you know do it when you get up there like I saw you in the fucking yeah shut up I don't want to talk to you unless I talk to you. You know, on my terms. It has to be. Yeah, I thought it's showbiz. They're paying for it to see you and it's a show. You want to give them the entrance. You want to give them you know, give them everything they they page entry. Yeah. Yes, I want page entry. You're a

page. I think I'm transitioning. I'm pageant. Please. You want me to transition? That would be so good for both of our careers. Yeah. Because you would get famous. Yeah. And then you would bring me along with you. I would bring him. I got both of us.

What would I want with you? Oh, you kidding me? Well, little fucking Brooklyn hipster by your side that would be perfect for that brand of you as a trans woman. But why would what would you do? I don't know hang around. Jesus Christ.

If I transition to your makeup, you know, I'll fucking much work would go into this. That much work would have to be done for me to, I mean, my lips are perfect. Though I have beautiful. Let me say nice lips. Passable. It's nice lips Passable what's there a little chat? Oh My god, are you out of your fucking trouble? I'm looking right here. I'm seeing old buddy buddy. What you're crazy You're crazy very soul-jank correct it looks at you It sounded like that you took me on a jerk off to I want you to take me a trip into the dark reaches of my mind with those lips

Oh, I will I'll take you to our creatures you might I'll take you on a bowl of spaghetti You would be divine Absolutely true. Uh-huh I don't see Bobby's a blonde yeah, I don't like I see more rocky horror. Yeah, I don't see him as a blonde. I see more like Delta Burke From from the 80s Designing women you be one of the designing women Who dealt a breath there you go. Oh, that works. That's Bobby. Wait, but stop. The moment the hat looks like Ron Bennington. The moment the hat. Click on the hat. That's fucking Ronnie B right

there. That's fucking Ronnie B. Hard with a mask in a cane looks like she's in a rob a train. Oh, speaking of Ronnie B, can we bring up, we lost poor fest. Yeah. That's a bummer. Yeah. Yeah, terrible. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sin fin de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelas de madrida, murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.

Um... Ya, terribuye. Yo creo que me confesé en nuestro programa en el colectro en Kelly Show. Cuando yo era un Open-In, entonces me empezé a escuchar a su programa. Sí, porque era muy... Me encanta la programa. I actually confessed to this on our show on the call to the Kelly show. I actually, when I was on Open Ant, then I started listening to their show. Yeah, because it was so... I love their show.

Their show was fun. Yeah. Yes. Open Ant, the show was viciously mean. Yeah. I mean, let's be honest. There'd be fun within the mean, but there was, but, but,

but, but, hilarious. Just fun. Hilarious. Hilarious. It was never fun. It was pressure. Dude, I would stab at night going, uh, I want to be worried about.

I'm about to be good. Yeah, I want to be good. You know, it's going to be thunder dome. It's thunder dome. When you go in, you know, it was thunder dome, man. It was, it was, I mean, you, you'd be like, who's in a Patrice, Norton, uh, uh, uh, yeah, please don't. Patrice turn on me.

Oh, shit. It was, and it was the worst one they'd have. So another comic that thought they, you know, they come in, they'd be like, we're nice shirt. Shout the fuck up. You don't know who I am. That's the guy. Look at you in a green room. Think he's you're here, but you're not in. It was so it was definitely hilarious.

Yeah. But it was not fun. I was listening to Ron's and Fez was fun. Yeah. But it was not fun. I was listening to Ron's and Fez was fun. Yeah. I mean, I mean, just crazy, outrageous. What's going on? Like, what is happening? What is Ron doing to Fez? And Fez would just go, Oh my God, it's so fun. And I would listen to it. And then, of course, Fezzie retired. And I wound up going on wrong and and and Gail. Yeah. And they just talked every day.

Well, I was talking around. I had run on on my show. He was talking. They still talked every day. Really? Yeah. So sad. One of the funniest things I've heard in my life was a bit.

They had a while ago where how many fifth graders could you beat up at one? And they had a three hour conversation about that. About the logistics of how many fifth graders you could beat up at once, like at one in one fell swoop. And it went for, it was, I had to like, like turn it off because I was laughing so hard. Six. Six.

You think that you're a guest? Oh, six. So I could beat up six. You think six? Yeah, seven, eight. Now you're getting into like, little a pusion. They're gonna hold me down. They're gonna blow you down.

Yeah, they're gonna, one's gonna, I can get. I can go lower the flies and you're getting into like Lil' Apution. They're gonna hold me down. They're gonna hold you down. Yeah, they're gonna hold me down. I can go lower the flies and you're just, yeah, then it just gets weird, you know what I mean? But six, you think you can take. I'm, yeah, I think six. I punch three at once with one punch. I'm a combination. I kick two and then I got the other one all set up.

You don't think it'd be jail rules? Like if you knock out three in a row, you don't think the rest would just scatter. No, it would keep coming like henchmen. Well, yeah, well, well, we'd have to stop at six because if you were at eight, nine, 10, now you're getting me, you're going to get three on a leg. I got a bad knee.

I'm going to go down. I have a baby elephant. So you can do you can do six facing to the right. Yeah, I could do six. If I if I if I did a little little tempo karate stance, you'd have a strife to thin out as much as I could. Okay.

You're right. Now all the talking. Not that arrow dynamic. I got it now. See how narrow I get. Look at you playing offense and defense. Right. I get narrow, right?

Tell me more sense. And then a lot of them out. Where'd you go? Oh, there you are. You have to rely on reach really okay really narrow take six because five are gonna die laughing five are gonna fall over laughing hey come on

and that pose you look like Vito in that Weight Watcher's poster. Oh, God, that's great. But, all beautiful. That is great. You have to rely on reach. Like it would be like you've got to use your reach as like to get as many... You got it.

No, you gotta be careful with the kicks because if one of those little fuckers grabs your leg. You're done. And the other one, the other four push you. It's over. And then you got the other, was it three? Yeah. I'll go on the ground. You're done. Yeah. And the other one put the other four push you so that and then you got the other To is it three? Yeah, I'm going around. You're done. Oh, you're done. You go on the ground. That's it done It's warm on you like fire. Yeah, and they giggle the giggling That's gonna you know, right that'll drive you crazy. It takes out a sense

He's disoriented with the left. Yeah, they just they just start saying childhood songs to freak you out. Oh yeah. Bring around the rosy ass. Bring around the rosy pocket below. Oh God. They kick away. And then there's nothing scary on the earth in seeing a smile kid. Just go evil.

Just like Chuckie. No, they just look under their eyes. Yeah, I've actually let my kid get away with things a couple of times when he just went like this and looked at me and went, okay, dude, dude, Max. Yeah, dude, he's some sugar, have some sugar. You got nervous for a second. Yeah, I got nervous for a second, yeah.

You like clowns, scammy. Clowns, scammy. They do clowns, scammy. Fifth grade clowns. I'm terrible. Why would a clown? I tiny clowns tiny clowns. Why would a clown scare? No, no I think it was I read a book on John Wayne gacy when I was a kid I've never been sure you're talking about getting fucked by a clown And that can't be good either now Why would you know who it is? Just see fucking white pink I I just, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not.

I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not.

I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not.

I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not, I'm woods. Yeah, yeah, those were the clowns. What the fuck happened with that? It was like an intimate friend. Yeah. Was it Westchester?

It's scary. And Jersey. Yeah, that's scary. Jersey clowns, they'll cut you. They'll fucking cut you. Jesus, a Jersey clown. Yeah, there it is. Look at your four loco and they'll cut you.

Yeah, look at that. Yeah, that's terrifying. That guy right there, that's fun. I'm not scared of clowns, but I'm scared of clowns in the woods. That doesn't scare you Buddy if I saw a real regular guy coming out like that like that. Oh my that's the right there that right yeah Like holding on to it like the one with the balloon looks like Irish affair that does not scare Really does that would not scare me at all. I would pop his balloon and fuck

I would pop his balloon and fuck it. I know what, but that was bad with you. Go down there. Well, the it's the right to the right to the right. That one, that Eddie Pepaton one. That's it. That, that, that, the Eddie Pepaton clown scares me. Eddie Pepaton. Eddie Pepaton.

No, clowns are definitely scary. I can see it. Listen, those guys, guys, it's a light bulb. Look at that thing. Do you have a video of clowns in the woods in Jersey? Can I please see that? So listen, here's the deal. Clowns do not scare me. But please see that? So listen, here's the deal.

Clowns do not scare me. But a guy coming out, listen, you're taking, when you take somebody who's in this environment and put them in that environment, that's the scary part. If you were at a circus and that clown was there, you wouldn't, and he's walking by you, you wouldn't be scared.

But you put him in the woods and you're like holy shit. That's like putting a polar bear in a mall. You know what I mean? It's like, which is happening. It's global warming. They're walking around. They're all over the place. Oh god.

I've got to skip LA. They have no more right. What LA? What LA? What the fuck is show that you just do? What? Global warming is a job hoax dude. It's not really happening.

Yeah. Okay. So there's no water in my house, but everything else is fine. Well, get the water turned on. That must be it. You didn't think of that one. Moosh, I'm sorry. Can you put a note please,

so I can turn the water on. Thank God you're here, Bob. Okay. Can you, are you talking about California, right? Yeah. Yeah, can you move out of that shit all? I don't have to. The property tax is a kill him.

The gas is almost $5 a gallon. Files a gallon. The homeless situation, nobody gives a $5 a gallon. I'm this close to being there with the property tax. Garbage. Garbage move. Get out. Go to Tampa.

Live free. I'm going to your property in New Hampshire. Dude, you want to live there? I'm going to call Max, get the bobcat, so I'll fly out in my house. Dude, I'd move to the hamster in a second. Second. Yeah, but get the fuck out of that state, dude.

Sell your place now while nobody will buy it. Nobody's buying shit in California. You know what you get, my buddy's up in the hills. He can't get insurance because of the fires. Dude, listen, the universe, the universe has been telling us, you know, the universe has been telling us to leave California for decades. It's not the universe. It's, it's it's, it's city of Santa Monica telling me to leave. I got, I got to buy, I buy the

city of Santa Monica on the accord every year, a brand new one, just in property day. Hello. Hi, sorry, sorry, nothing. What happened? I choose the bathroom. Go ahead Are you an eight year old? Play with who that's just scaring the shit at him. Yeah, you're fucking crazy. I thought he was pointing like there's a good man behind Look at the clown This clown's over there. They just killed mush. Yeah, that is that's creepy out. I didn't know what he was doing.

I didn't know what he was doing either. I was like, it's a deneteria. Okay, there you go. That's listen, you're not. That doesn't scare you. The person is creeping up behind the clown. That's a little different. Oh my God.

Oh, that's scary. But he's on a fucking, he's on a suspension bridge in the middle of the woods. The guy behind him has his iPhone with that two-way camera. Buddy, you're not supposed to see a clown there. Yes, that's why. That's his. Oh, now he's coming.

I know, he's running. Oh, both of them are running. Oh, God. That's a setup. You think so? Yeah. I don't know. We'll have to see.

What's, you know, that guy, Oh, it's running, the clown is running. I'll do it. They're running after these fat fucks He's catching up to up to shit You know I'd be caught that's a killer clown chase is us at the park. This is all bullshit. Yeah. Oh Maybe this is like a news thing. No, okay This is too framed this is framed too well. Yeah, but that's the new that's a pan. That's a perfect pan. Yeah, I

Know this is all bullshit. Did you wash? I did good I Guarantee any clown that's in the woods if you let him catch you he'll tickle you You bring a bunch of eighth graders with him. Yeah, all right Fuck that what that video you're not scared of clown. What what does scared? He'd bring a bunch of fifth graders with him. Yeah, all right. I'm like that. What, that video? So you're not scared of clown, what does scary? What, I mean, look, if I was in the middle of the woods,

it depends on where I'm at. When I'm in the woods, if I saw a clown, it would freak me out. If I'm in the woods at night, and I see a human that I don't know, that would be like, why, how the fuck did you get here? Like when we were camping me when I do in the bushcraft party boys, we were in the middle of the fucking nowhere and at a certain time everybody, all the hikers, they're all gone because it's getting dark out. So whoever's not

staying for the night goes. And we were the only ones there. So around, I don't know, around 8.30 or something, it was, it could be coming dark. We just heard a group of guys, that fucking, whoo, yeah! That fucking macho alpha, truck and bro, I've raped on a pinball machine voice.

You know what I mean? You're just thinking deliverance, the minute you hear it. Oh, dude. And we were like, wow, it just thinking of deliverance, the minute you hear it. Oh, dude. And we were like, wow, it's kind of late for, are they staying, is that like, we're like, oh, fuck, maybe they're camping here. And then it just, when it got dark out,

they were still there, which means you're staying now because you have to walk down this trail, this hour and a half trail in the dark, which who the fuck does that, right? And then all of a sudden it just disappeared. And we're like, I would know in care, but in my brand, I'm like, where are they? Like, are they here?

So that scares me, that type of shit scares me. If I saw a clown, that would fucking scare me. That would scare the shit out. UFO, do you be scared if you saw UFO? I'd be so excited. I don't know, because UFOs have lights. Yeah, but if you saw, look at be so excited I don't know because you have those have lights yeah but if you saw look at you look I'm afraid but I'm entertained what is there's a light show I don't know I just like lights that would I'll take it back an alien was not a clown but what's he some

okay what does it look like boss no. That's... Ha ha ha. No, I would actually get exhausted. I'd be like, fuck, fuck. I'm like, oh my god. This big gray, big ears, no genitals, no mouth. No genitals. No, just everything tiny body, right? Tiny body, like a ball.

No, gray. They call them a gray. They're all the gray, yeah. Okay, gray. Okay, no like little space great. Yeah, okay, great. Okay, no space, no like little space suit. No, why? Because they don't need it. They're advanced creatures.

Okay, they don't breathe there. Some of them do have them though. So you do, okay, so here's a deal. For a van. It's called the gray. How do you know what it's called the gray? That's one of the, He's just as, he's just as, as intrigued as I am.

I know a lot about this. I don't know a lot about Alan. Well, how many fingers are you right? How many three big long one they have three big long ones. It's not a fucking total recall turning on the heat machine on Mars. Three big. So I think three or four fingers they have. Can we bring up one of these Gray alien grays you you'll see the, it's like your traditional alien. Your classic.

Big hat, a giant eyes. Yeah, like the sketches from Mary, if I see one. Yeah, like that, they get. Like American dad. Is that the right Joe? No. No, yeah, like American dad, yeah, exactly. I don't know.

See that one over there? A pole? Body, one with sour. He just wanted to say, I just said no to you. No. I'm such a piece of shit This is what a lot of people see when they say they see alley that looks like me in the morning

That looks like your vagina Let me see let me see the middle one the whole body one. Can I see the whole body one that wouldn't scare you? No, it's not a buff. That's like fighting a fucking an eight year old. In the middle of the woods. Mill the woods. I saw that. Oh, I want one of those. You do, don't.

Baby. That's what the baby is. Now you're getting out of hand with tech. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Okay, so is this, can I ask you a question? Do you know something about this? A little bit. I do both.

You know something? A little bit. You know it's not aliens, you are folks. Let me ask you a question. Do you believe something about this? I do. You both know some. Little bit. You know, it's not aliens, UFOs. Let me ask you a question. Do you believe in aliens? Sure. I do. Of course. I do.

Do you believe in UFOs? Yeah. Okay. The car. I know you're really, I know you want this right now. I'm not giving it to you. I'm giving it to him. I really want it.

But he knows too. I can tell he knows. I know, but he doesn'm not giving it to you. I'm giving it to you. You really want because I can He knows too. I can tell he knows I know, but he doesn't know as much as you and I can feel you And he really you know what I pick me he'll talk about fucking So I'm he's gonna go on I need to share I'll keep my mouth start going No, it's such a shit person I am because I can feel you and I won't give it to you. I want to just slow it in the Ali and fingers going Yes, oh, you got Betty and Barney Hill.

We got Betty and Barney Hill. What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What do you want to talk about this so many times? 1968.

Yeah. What is that? New Hampshire, I think. It was in New Hampshire. New Hampshire. Where in the Hampshire? Right by your property. Down the block.

You don't know where I am. Yeah. No, they were driving home. It was a, uh, Betty and Barney Hill and Bernie Hill were driving home. And this was the first abduction where they said, you know, it was creatures looked in my eyes. That's what happened. They came down, their watches were stopped. Am I correct? The watches were stopped.

There was burn marks on the car. It's this first time we were introduced to the concept of lost time. Yes. I'm coming home. Well, it should be home in an hour and a half. It was like a day went past or something. And then they and they didn't want any attention. They were an interracial generation of 1968. So they were like, let's just keep our heads down.

In New Hampshire. I love you. I love you too. Don't don't. Exactly. He was a mailman, I think. I believe so. Yeah. And they had the same. They were both one under. So he was the white guy. He was the black guy. He was the black guy. He was the man, man, back then, for him. And so racist of me. And they, the hand on the dress was, you know, when you guys don't laugh, it just makes it more racist. So, that, that's Betty Brownhill.

Yeah. Wow. You want a cute couple. And then they, I mean, he's cute. Yeah. She's, she's braced. She's Norton, she looks like a bio uncle Jimmy if Norton transitions. She does really look like Norton.

Yeah. My God. Yeah. That's Norton's uncle with a wig. Yeah. It runs in the family. I mean, let me, let me, let me, there's no ham. She's the only white girl he can get.

That's it. So you really think they wanted attention? They just want to go home. Right. But they had the same dream or something. They were on the hypnosis. They just wanted to go home. But they had the same dream or something. They were on the hypnosis. They were on the hypnosis.

And then he went into a detailed description of what happened. And then you sure he's not friends with Bill Cosby? Yeah. I woke up. That was his explanation. I woke up and I was like, there was Jello putting pops everywhere.

And she actually, she said the medical examination at the aliens he's grazed in on her. The first one was this is 68. I think they had amoeo centhesus yet. Cause I think yeah, they put a needle into her stomach to a belly button. Yeah. Wait a minute. Ew. Yeah. What? You got jizz in your belly button all the time. Sometimes, we're not a needle. So you have an any. Yeah, I do. It's not she has like a flat stomach. My any you can put a fucking cup of gis.

You can make gis pancakes in my bed. We need some elephant com. Yeah, I gotta be careful with my belly button. I've pulled the fucking little sacks of stuff out of there. Yeah. A fifth grade. After my belly button, I got to really 60.

Pull it out and you smell it. You smell it? I got to really sexy pull it out. You smell it. You smell it? I've smelled it. Yeah, yeah. So I wash it causally though. I'm so disgusted by my belly. Oh, you see me shit.

Yeah. But that can do it too because it can be so like it gets in there. Yeah, that you don't get out. Yeah, but I dry it out after you. Oh, my they should make a belly button Q tip. They should use a Q tip. No, they're not too invasive. Yeah, too invasive. It hurts. Yeah. Too fat guys. I know exactly people like we're just

looking at each other scared. I'm past the clowns. You're scaring. So, okay, so they're up in the Hampshire. I go to you now. You sure can. How are you so calm now? Yeah. Well, I'm trying to be a team player here. So they're in the hampshire, they're a mixed race couple. Yeah, so then they were driving along. So they don't, but that is pretty relevant because they don't want to tension. That's one of the same.

1968, oh, that's why it seems believable to me. And also, there was multiple. I mean, this if this happened last week, it would still be the same thing. It'd be gone. I was up there last week. It depends what you are. Multiple I mean this if this happened last week it was to be the same thing you'd be on I was up there last week Multiple

Psychiatrist have listened to the tapes and they've and have the one that that did talk to them and and did the hypnosis Has said like this they went through a trauma. These are people who went through a trauma. Yeah, so they both went through the same thing Yeah, but they were okay separately. Okay, so tell me where do you know where this took place? Can we find it where this took place? I don't know what area they'll find out. They'll find out. So I want to know what this is. Okay. Because I, I mean, how funny if I moved to that street.

Yeah, I'd sell it tomorrow. So you are freaked out by you. Aliens. I don't want wanna get stuff. Yeah. Plus they don't have a thing long enough to go with my belly button. They'd have to like cut it all out.

No, they would. I want to think it's- On top of that one, there's so much more that has happened that is like, to me, I was never that guy three years ago. I, when the New York Times had that story, I started getting into- Oh, where is it?

Tell me. It was in the White Mountains. White Mountains, I knew it was white something. That's where I am. I'm literally at the foothills of the white mountains. Where in the white mountains is it give you a, a portsmith? That's, oh shit. I know where portsmith is.

That's where you are. I'm not even kidding you. That's the next town over. No. Are you in Manhattan? Are you? No, Hampton's the beach. Okay. Portmith is.

Portmith, wait a minute. Not far from Hampton. That would be so good. No, portmith is not, no, portm's the beach. Okay. Hampton's is... Portsmouth, wait a minute. Not far from Hampton. That would be so... No, Portsmouth is not... No, Portsmouth is inland. But it's inland. It's 20 minutes from Hampton, New Hampshire. No, it's not.

I will make you a $50 bet right now. Okay, do it. Alright, look it up. I'm not kidding. I want Portsmouth New Hampshire. Okay, settle down. We made the bet. What are you in the mob?

This is... You're fucking turning into Tony's soprano. I'll fucking make you a best of a Jumping up and that's it's scared me. What's what port Smith the Hampton Beach? I Said all right, so 20 minutes you did and you fucked up now you know you fuck But what do you then you have to give a time then for the bet because I'm I don't you made the best I didn't need an answer for time you said it's 20 minutes. I said it's not that's the best wow how fast you drive it's 30 minutes by car 20 minutes you're wrong. Yeah, but it's not in the water. I'm in the hamster is not by the water It's next to the water dude

Look at that. I'm gonna look at there it is right there Port no hampton beach and look at Portsmouth. It's by the water. It's by the water. 15 miles. That's Portsmouth, the hampshire. Look up, look Portsmouth.

Wait a minute. Portsmouth North of Hampton Beach. That's not the White Mountains, dude. That's not what we said. No Portsmouth, he said it's in the White Mountains. Oh, this is getting diabolical, I love it. Go, all right, where, where, where, go up. See Portsmouth getting diabolical. Go. All right, where go where go up? See

Port Smith. I see go over go go in. Lin go over to the left. Keep going to the left. Go to the left. Go to the left. Go to the left. Go to the left. Go to the left. Keep going. Keep no, no, go in. I didn't say in. Go to the left. I go up. Go up. Go up. Go up. Go up. Go up. Go up, go up, keep going, keep going, keep going. Okay, stop. Now go over, see what says, Plymouth. That's what you were thinking. Is it Plymouth?

That's the white mountains. The article said white mountains. I guess they were wrong. That's my producer. Just realized he needed a microphone. He's got no headphones, you can't hear. Would you not have headphones over there, right? Okay.

So I'm gonna, you know what, we'll both try. We're both, we're both wrong. I'll take that. All right, shake on it. All right, it's beautiful. Alien shake. Alien shake. Free fake guys.

Okay, so now it says, it says the white mountains, but then that white mountains is not a beach. Yeah, so now it says, it says the white mountains, but then that white mountains is not poor. The beach. So anyways, here's the deal. This car comes, this UFO comes down on their car. Now, do they not know how to fly the UFO right? Like why would they land on a car? Like if I was cause they can.

Okay. It's dramatic. Sorry, snaggle put. Yeah, because they can't. Why if you're an alien? if I'm one of those graves I'm going watch me flick you ready come here. I'm gonna land right on the car. Yeah watch the black guy in the white woman Get their pants watch this I do that They I think they just it might be know that they did though because there's scared of just white people up there

Anyway, all of a sudden like oh shit, they got fucking helicopters. Yeah. They're coming for it. Do you know how scared they must have been? Shit yeah. Fuck, they're scared of everybody up there. And now aliens are like fucking with them. But that must, I wonder.

So you think they landed on the car intentionally. Like what, what, what, I think what happened is there was, there was burnt marks on the car. So it happens. If they're above, there's so much, there's so much heat and power coming off these things. They have other instances where it's happened. It's just destroying the car.

If it's above a car and they're like, if they're interested in something and then it's above the car, that's what is damaging the car. Is they have photos of the car? I don't know, they have photos on the car. I know they why would they have photos of the car? They probably have photos of the car

and photos of her dress online somewhere. Yeah. What happened to her dress? The hem was ripped on the dress. Yeah, the hem was ripped on the dress. And then she remembered under hypnosis the amniocentes in the middle. The believable part to me is that they're

interracial couple in the 1960s. And also they didn't, they didn't like, they never changed their story. She, she was interviewed again when she was like, I don't know, said that you're in. He died, yeah. And then she gave the same exact story. She was interviewed again when she was like, I don't know, said it first. He died, yeah. And then she gave the same exact story. She never made a dime off of it.

There's a lot of those kind of cases in this. And this, the stuff that they said was the template for other people coming forward. So this is like the first one that said, we were examined, they did all this stuff and we lost time. Like the communion guy, Whitley Striber and all these. Ooh, the guy, you communion with Christopher Walken

the movie, remember communion? No. Oh, it was about the guy you communion with Christopher walk in the movie member communion No, it was about this guy with Lee Streiber. Who was it a good movie? I saw it all the time. I was okay. Yeah, that's a little bit freaky. I am an alien They take me and they put something in my ass. It was a watch I took that watch and I gave it to my son It was wild. He was crazy. It was grace I was a watch. I took that watch and I gave it to my son. It was wild. He was crazy. There were grays.

There was three fingers. There were grays. Ah. So there's the dress. What's wrong with the dress? It's ripped by the tits. Am I right? So why do aliens love tits?

The one that's cool. That tits. Am I right? So why why aliens love to Why That's cool Aliens why was they ripping by the two? Why couldn't they just take it off? Maybe they did maybe that's why maybe it ripped on the floor. I was there But I don't understand this doesn't make sense why was her the front? Can you we'd have to get go to the Wikipedia if you want to do the whole rundown We're just giving you pieces of the thing. I don't know. That's the car right there.

I don't know the story verbatim. Okay, go where he's holding the fucking design, the little thing he made. Yeah, click on that. They played charades with me. Can you make that? Like that? Like that?

This is called Pictionary Betty. Okay. Scroll down. Let's see something. So that's what happened. That's the artist. That's what they said. It looks cool.

Pull car. So it was, I love the cars cool, but the actual UFO goes's the artist. That's what they said. It looks cool. So, so it was, I love the cars cool, but the actual UFO goes with the time. Like a, that's a mid-century contemporary UFO. Lots of windows. It's got the railing. How do they have windows? They didn't have windows and UFOs.

They some do. What am I? Some do. There's different types of options. Convertibles, I scroll the same things. Since since okay, so since the nuclear test right like Hiroshima or not Hiroshima not here But like when they've been testing it and since the nuclear bombs have gone off They've seen an influx of these things over the past 70 years So what people see varies from the Nazca lines.

Why? The Nazca lines. I don't even know that. The Nazca lines, it's, it's, look at the Nazca lines. And it's not in the white mountains. The ones that belong to the, there's only one person that tells the producers what to do. I'm so sorry.

I have no attention to me. Look up the Nazca lines. Ask them if it's in the white mountains. It's in the white mountains. They have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they have, they man. They have blimuth. All right, sorry. So there's so much more. There's a thing called that's supposed to be like the landing, uh, the landing strip for aliens. Wow. But okay. But I heard this was all proven fake. I look, there's, if you go up in space and you see a 90 foot monkey, you tell me how that got that. All right, these people are coming up. We're landing by the monkey and they land by the monkey. If you want, all the pyramids point to,

the tops of the pyramids point to the one single point in space. Yeah, but why just a earth animal? Why do aliens know to draw a monkey? Why is your face so shiny? Because I'm sweating. My God, Dabia knows you're freaking me out when with the paltrow legs. That's a compliment. Yeah, I know what to you. You're very shiny legs on. Tonight show wants to freak everybody out. Yeah.

Remember that? Our legs were just shiny. The Gwyneth Paltrow, tonight show legs. Dude, it was shiny. It was like, what is happening with your legs? Like, people couldn't stop looking at you. Anyways, yeah. You didn't say if you believe in aliens or what?

Yeah, okay. Do you? All right, relax. Are you having? Yes. You do. Yeah. I believe that there's, there's UFOs.

Okay. I believe who's in them. Huh? I'm getting there. I'm sorry. What are you the fucking government relax? It's a cool thing. Who's in them?

Uh, he's QAnon Olivesin. I? He's Q and non-olumasin. I don't know if they're little grays. Okay. I don't know if they're grays. I don't buy the whole gray thing because they're ugly. And they only have three fingers. Okay.

You know one of the theories about like, how do you build something with three fingers? Very carefully. Yeah, but you get no fingers. How are you gonna screw something in or make something? Tools. Yeah, how you gonna hold something without a thumb? Well, maybe they have different hands.

They move shit with their minds. Nah. That's interesting. That's a lie. You're right, Bobby. I'm pretty. Who said, it's not true why? Cause I just, cause I don't believe it.

Okay, listen, this is, this is, you're right. I'm just, it's my I don't believe it. Okay. Listen, this is All right, I'm just I'm just it's my fault for bringing this up. Okay. Oh show. Let's back to Gwen's leg I want to see a very very bring up Gwen. I'll throw shiny. Let's I said nothing Listen, what I'm saying is this yeah, I do believe but I this whole alien the way they look it's so weird and here why do we never have a different okay if there's aliens why don't they have different looking ones? They do what do you mean? They have ones that they and since the people have seen them they've had ones that are really human looking

they had one. It's just I should have shiny like I don't see why they're dead. I mean, make that big so we don't have to look at 75. But which one? Just bring up the one that shiny. That's terrible, dude. Over to the left. Yeah, bring that one up.

See that? Well, look at that. Wow, they really oiled her out. Yeah, wow. That's fucking, that's Kona. Is that fucking gross? Yeah. It's too much. They look like Brutus the barber beef cakes. That's all I got. Her whole body is that fucking gross? Yeah. It's too much. It was like, Brutus the barber beef cakes.

That's all I got. Her whole body is shiny though. Look at her arm. She just went out one night with, I don't know what was called, fry grease. No, it was fried grease. Here we go. Okay, yeah.

But here, so let me ask you a question. Yeah. You say that there's different versions of these aliens. I've only seen the gray. Oh, that's like that's my problem It's like there's so many different versions of us Right, right and then there's different versions of animals. Why? Why is this the same thing coming all the time? Well, what do you mean there's not they They have other sightings of, they have very human looking ones. There's one called the Nordic types that have this

fully have blonde hair and long noses. Like there's a bunch of them. Can you bring that up? Yeah, Nordic aliens. Yeah, you're definitely an alien. Yeah, you're morals, everything you do. What the fuck? Alien def, like, you're a moral.

How do you know aliens don't have morals? You don't. Oh, true. You have no morals? No. I don't know. I have a view. She has like two.

Yeah. Yeah. Hold the door front, old lady. That's one. What's that? That's a Nordic. That's a Nordic alien. That's cool.

So they see, okay, I didn't know that. Yeah. But nobody's, who've seen that guy? There's instances like this. There's a bunch of different, what? Yeah. Rocky Ford, that's the way you see that. I'm very interested to find out,

what's the best place to go to find out about this stuff? Well, UFOs are aliens is like different. So watch the phenomenon. Did you watch the phenomenon? No. Watch the phenomenon. It's all the stuff that makes the most sense. This guy James Fox did it and he came out like a year and a half ago. Jamie Foxx. No, yeah, Jamie Foxx.

Yeah, he did as Rachel. James Fox made this documentary called the phenomenon. It has all the information that makes the most sense out of this topic. Is that the guy who said he saw the ship inside a area 51? No, that's, that's um, uh, Pablo Zah. That's different. I watched that. I got the glasses. That's, that's, that's Lazaar. Yeah, that's Lazaar. That's the guy who said he said he worked, but he has been doubted for years and years

and he had a bunch of problems with the law and all this. James Fox has made three movies that actually aren't like goofy, ancient aliens types of stuff. They're just like, it takes a military approach for the first part. And the last story they do is a thing called the aerial school, which is a really unbelievable story. But I'm at the point now where I'm like, I think it's for real.

And it's about this, this like this grammar school in Zimbabwe in Africa that was visited. And then these, these like 60 kids saw these two alien beings on top of a ship and they described it in the at all Did drawings of it and they drew it the same exact way It's right. It's why this is the phenomenon. This is like the opening or whatever, but um It's it's it's at the end watch this movie the phenomenon you can get it on amazon or um or iTunes and it is the most believable thing I've seen on the topic really absolutely wow because they

they they show you the military sources of all the stuff like the other thing is the nimbus incident which which is was part of the article that the New York Times did in 2017 the New York Times did an article back then that was about a group called a tip which was in the department of defense that was funded by twenty million dollars that were they were tasked with studying all these things that these these these military aircraft were seeing with their like their infrared cameras and all this stuff right and their job was to explain away and be like what is it and they're able to explain 90% of it but 10% of these videos they were like we have no idea what this is and that's what's opened up these Congress having these sessions with the Navy were all

these Navy pilots and and and Navy member coming in sharing their information and like they're in their data on what they've seen and then it did such a good job it changed like it used to be that if you were in the navy and you saw something you would be either and you reported it you would be sent to a psychiatrist or you'd be fired from the navy. I talked to a guy that happened to his friend, whatever, that was he was on the Nimitz and it happened to him because he said, I saw something and they sent it to a doctor. Now they actually take a report

and they try to figure out what it is. Look at the Nimitz, it's a... But this is not just food fighters, you know what? The food fighters? No, the band took their name from the World War Two pilots that saw UFOs, that's what they were called, they were called food fighters. So this has been going on.

It's been going for a long long long long long. It's a lot of believable shit with that. Yeah, Dave girls in alien. He's an alien, that makes sense. With that mouth. Sure. So all right, well, listen, this is fucking interesting. I'm gonna have to check out that movie.

Check it out. Cell app property. No. I'm actually gonna keep it. Bill, no, the better yet, build a landing pad landing pad like yeah, put a giant monkey in your back Y'all a giant monkey in my backyard. Yeah, you know, they think they say they have it in the Bible has UFO in it. Well if you look at the wheels wheel is the thing in the Renaissance art look at the Zekios wheel I apologize

Please look at the Zekios wheel I mean I don't know. I don't know. But it's like what it's interesting. It's literally artwork. The like Renaissance art, you see all the halos around people, especially in the Christian art. It could be helmets. I'm just saying.

What is that? Could be helmets. What is this? The halos, the holy like Maria paintings. Yeah, hold on. What is this? This is the Zeke yields wheel It's a passive the Bible that describes something that sounds very much like a UFO. I don't know if I buy into this I'm not saying I do. I'm just saying it's more like the cool things that comes out of this looks like great adventure

possible. Yeah, it looks like a windmill, dude And in Harrison Ford comes out of this don't look directly at it. Don't look directly at it I listen this has been an hour of the YKWD. We're gonna go into overtime very shortly. And I have a question I'm gonna be talking about. I wanna ask you, okay, that's gonna be one. About aliens, what if aliens come?

See you, Em. What are you gonna do? Well, after I shit my pants. I hear them out. Yeah, you would. See what they're, yeah, see what their policies are. I would see what their morals are. From another plan to clowns scale. From another plan?

Yeah, alien clowns with that scale. Yeah, because it's like, why are you stealing our thing? Okay. What's your own version of clowns? If the aliens were hot, I would consider joining. Their own version of clown would be dressing like a human. There's three pea suits. Yeah, with the pea face. If the aliens were hot, I would consider joining their own version of clime would be dressing like a human Three-piece suit. Yeah, with three free face

There's a movie there's killer clowns from out of space. Yeah, yeah, what is a movie? I don't know if it's from a trauma from back in the day Well, kill it like it's a lot of space and it's pretty freaky Now you're you're you're you bet you're back on your show, right? What your podcast you but You, but the, your show, what's the show, the car show? Top gear. You're on that, no. No, no, they said they have a new version of it on motor trenders on it, but we're, our version's done. Your version's done.

Yeah. Why did I see you wanted to? They rerun the shit out of it. Wow, that's nice. Yeah, now, to buy out. Was it a buy out? It was basically, oh, fuck. But yeah, they rerun the shit out of it And and I still get the I still get people coming to see me about the car

So that's great. Yeah, and you're you have a car. I do what you car again? I got a 1990 LS 400 the first year Lexus came out with one So I I murdered it all out which means it's all black. I took out the amber lights So I put in euro lights, so by the way. What? What you just said. Murdered out, it's all black? Yeah.

It came black. It's not Betty and Paul. You said nothing. It was a joke. Again, it's racist and you don't laugh. You said I murdered it all out, it's all black. That's what it's called. It's very racist.

I mean, I thought you would say something in the woke little shiny leg that you are. One shiny leg. She's so woken. That should be in the euphemism shiny leg. I'm really One shiny leg. She's so woken. That should be in the euphemism shiny leg. I'm really not. I'm just woker than him. Right.

She's not woker. She's woke. She's Jersey woke. Yeah, but she's still not woke. Jersey woke. Because we're all fucking one asshole. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up with your racist bullshit.

Give me a latte with three sugars and give me one of those bottles of water. I can throw that in the ocean. Who wants something from the box? Can I get an African-American Russian? No, I love a cock with three veins. I'm alien cock. Three veins.

So we'll be doing that. What do you got going on with tapping it? I got the podcast that you graciously were a guest on. This week I have, yeah,iously were a guest on this week I have yeah, my pocket was all this week is really cool the guy that started the behavioral science at the FBI is my guest He's a he's a specialist in body language. Oh, that's awesome. Yes name is Joe Navarro. He escaped. Oh, I've heard of him Yeah, he's a great guy. He's the guy from the Ted talks. Yeah, he was great He got out of Cuba after the Bay of pigs. Oh wow

He was a Cuban and like the Bay of Pigs didn't work and his father went, just didn't work, getting the boat. And the boat, you mean tire? Getting the boat, getting the boat. Not rowing Joe. So I got him this week and yeah, it was a really,

really cool. Wow, that sounds fun. I gotta get a UFO guy. I wanted to get the fighter pilot from 60 minutes, the lady. David Fraver. No, the lady. Oh yeah, I forgot her name. I forget her name too Fraver? No, the lady. Oh, yeah. I forgot her name, but you forgot her name too.

Fraver's the other guy. Yeah. But yeah, I want a UFO guy. And I want a cryptocurrency guy. Oh, I can get your UFO. Jeremy Corbell, I can get you. He did the Bob Lazar documentary. Oh, cool.

Yeah, I want to talk to him. I can get you a crypto guy. Yeah. Yeah, Steve. Steve? Yeah. Steve. Hey, man.

Yeah. 1930s gangster. Yeah, Steve. Steve, Steve. 1930s gangster. Yeah. I can't just see you. Steve, see? Crypto card makes me sick. I don't understand.

I had a guy 10 years ago, dude, just buy some Bitcoin. It's only like $200 a pop. I got XRP. $200 a pop. It was maybe 150 at the time. It's just buy it who cares. Dude, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at these headphones, dude.

I got these in the hood. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. How good, juggle stock? Well, you want these earbuds. Oh, you're going to shine. Oh, suck it. I saw a video online that had Bitcoin from 2012. What'd it be worth now? Oh, it's terrible.

And it's like 150 million. How do you- Hello. Hello. Hi. I need a hair tie, but we're doing it at six. You doing it at six. You doing it at max my son? Yes.

Where are you calling me from? I'm from. Why are you coming up a spam risk? No, it's from the echo. Oh, okay. I'm in the middle it's from the echo. Oh, okay. I'm in the middle of the podcast right now. How does hair cut come out? He just said he didn't get his hair cut yet.

He's getting it at six. Okay. Why do you, I mean, why would the tone, what's up with the tone? I didn't hear it, I'm sorry. Oh, if you told me the whole thing, and then you were like, okay, like you, I'm just what he. Bye, peace. I hope a gray.

On the way to the haircut just takes her leaves Max. I really don't. She wakes up with a fucking blouse ripped open and on a ship. She gets fetty-hilled. I really do. I hope she fucking has a story. She shits. Just burmikes marks on the car. She just wakes up in Montana. It doesn't know she's like Goldie Han.

Who am I? Some red necklace. You're my waf. She's just over. Oh, wow. Oh, you described my plough from overboard. Yeah, and and alien plot Right movie free Ha, show what you got man. I got a podcast on the left button

It's the the dy-m podcast I do with Andy Fury very funny comedian and I have a serious show every Wednesday Have four p.m. called celebrate on raw dog 99. And I'm at Shoney Time on Instagram and Twitter. It's a serious, I thought you'd say. It's a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, serious, a serious, a serious, serious, a serious, a serious, serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, serious, a serious, serious, a serious, serious, a serious, a serious, serious, a serious, a serious, a serious, serious, a Do you miss walking? Do you miss walking? Yeah. You're dead toenail. Talk about that. Do you miss your belly button hurting out of the stomach? Do you smell your belly button? When your wife doesn't touch you, does that make you sad? Do you blame yourself?

So that's great. Yeah, both of you guys have shows on the left button, baby. I'm telling you, a laugh button is kicking ass. This is what I hear on it. People are coming over. I know. This is like early Bitcoin. This is early. Yeah. Yeah. I'm telling you, the laugh button is kicking ass. This is what I hear on it. People are coming over. I know, this is like early Bitcoin. This is early Bitcoin.

Yeah. I'm telling you. Early Bitcoin. The, the, here's why. The, our network is not the same fucking show over and over again. It's different shows. Everybody's doing different shit.

Your show is so different than your show and my show. And the network is kicking ass. We got so many good things happening over here. And here's the scenario boys, fucking great show. So I'm very, I'm very excited to have you guys on. We're gonna go, we're gonna do a little extra. We're gonna read patreon.com.sac.robercally. If you wanna be part of the extra, head over to patreon.com.sac.robercally.

And we are gonna go, we're going to ask some, some more questions about aliens. We're going to be talking about sex and sex with each other. And I'm kidding. And also we're going to be doing the names, all the new Patreon members and reading all the days. Go to Robertacadolive.com, all my dates, I'm at the Philly punchline. I believe this week coming out Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I will be at the Philly punchline, so make sure you turn out Philly.

Tell your friends, get your girls, and look at all my stuff on social media and just share the link. There's no reason. You were, when you coming into town, I mean, come on, relax, look around. Take it. It's there. Take it is. Gabby, what are you up? Follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Gabby is Brian. I have a podcast called Unabash podcast, and I have a show at the stand called It's Wednesday comedy. Mush, where are you son? Mush, first of all, say, most of you who's with me all weekend, fucking murdered all weekend.

Nice. I mean, it's so, I told them too, I go, you're better. You know, you've worked with guys, and all of a sudden they get better. And it's so great because you don't have to, you can just go like do your thing. Cause when you bring a guy, and you're like, and I'm a sudden, you hear the crowd just looking,

you ever hear the crowd looking? I ain't like, oh, and I'm sad. I don't know. I don't know. You hear the crowd just looking. Yeah. You ever hear the crowd looking? Yeah. I hear like, oh, fuck me. Not this weekend. I don't want to dress mush directly, but so. You can. You can now. Make sure you close the door on a green row.

Oh, he didn't. That'll get me. And what was the girl's name? Kathy. Katie Arroyo. Like I said, Katie Arroyo. Very funny. But they looked exactly the same.

It looked like a Mexican woman. It's just like mush is a woman with really nice boobs. She looked better than that, but yeah. I mean, yes, of course she did, but it's not funny when you do that. I chose the founding route. Yeah, why don't you go on his serious show? We love to have you.

No, mush, great job, Orica, go ahead. Thank you. I'll be with Rich Voss at the cricket in the cave 28th in Austin said that again. I stepped on Well be with Rich boo And if you're watching live this Sunday, I'll be here line of laugh out loud in San Antonio one night only Oh, this weekend's a big week. I'm alive week. I'm at Uncle Vinnie's this weekend. Yeah, we're live right now, baby. See, I know nothing.

No, Uncle Vinnie's. I know nothing. I point pleasant. One of my favorite clubs. Yeah. I'll be at brokerage in Long Island on Friday night. A lot of Staten Island people. No, I mean Long Island, sorry.

Long Island. Different people. I'll be at a commune upstate getting hammer drunk camping. Really? Yes. Yeah, and she's not woke. Jersey woke. She's not. I mean, at a commune upstate getting hammer drunk camping. Really? Yes. Yeah, she's not woke. Jersey woke. She's not. Hey, that was Jersey woke. Yeah, praise the University of America. Is that a freaking clown? Jersey. You're not a commune, but you're drinking Miller lights. Exactly. Drink a Miller. I should. A forlota. Yeah, yeah, yeah, shit in the woods and fucking banged in the butt. What? Wait, you had a bone to pick with me.

Yeah, your face. What was it? We've only gotten to the extra 20. Don't forget comic wearables. Oh, sorry about that guys. Check this out. You got the Rob Kelly squiggly. You got the fuck dog bell, cows bells, scroll down.

Keep going. You got the sister ping. You got culture and Kelly. You got the pancake Sunday package deal, which is Kelly, you got the Pancake Sunday Package deal, which is really fun. And there it is right there, the YKWD Trucker Hat. You got YKWD shirt, left-titty, all at comicalwearables.com.

And if you use code word, Ladybug. Ladybugs? Ladybug? Ladybug. Ladybug. You get 20% off all merchant dive at comma wearable. So go there right now, get yourself. I owe these guys, these two guys at the show this week

in war, dude, and sister pink shirt. And I love ya. I was making fun of one of the guys the whole time. And I was looking for you after the show to give you a nice big fat hug. Because if you wear one of these shirts, you get a hug. Doesn't make you feel good when you reach people

like, oh, you wearing your shirt, come here. I like that. I like when people come up and like the podcast. I do too, and they were there, and I went out to see them, and they were gone. Fucking gone, Ricky. Yeah. We gone to kill her.

Well, gone. So let's go into the, and we got of course, Nicole and Max back there. Nicole say something. Hey, what's up? Thanks for having me. And Max, what's up? Thanks for having me. And max, what's up? Thanks for having me, too.

Leah, diabetes. Did you, oh my god, you're panicking. You're panicking? A lot of water. I mean, you had just as much as me. All right. You lost a lot of weight. I have a tattoo that is loosely based on the television show

lost. Really? Yeah. You want to say it? Yeah. It's a rabbit with a number on its back, which it could just be like lucky rabbit. But there's also a part in the show lost.

I think you have ringworm too. What are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you,

what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are scary. It's a crop circle. No, it's from me. I'm like landed on a set. It's me being from tiny like a lot of 20. Know what that is? Like this four, 50, right off the phone. Yeah, it's not ringworm. Is it? It might be. It's a great look. It's a ring. How do you know? How do you know that? How do you? What do you drag your

asshole? Course the corporate? Are you wrestling? I mean, wrestling? Are you doing it? Really just ask me to the gym? No, now, have you touched something on the train? I've sat down. Does it itch? Do you wear a cond it? No, the gym really just asked me about the gym? No, no. Have you touched something on the train? I've sat down. Does it itch? Do you wear a condom? No, it doesn't itch. It's not an X-I-A-X-M.

No, it's heat rash. I think it's heat rash. It's fine. I don't feel anything. I don't know. I don't know. I think you should, I think you gotta do it. It's a circle.

I hate that we're ending the show on Sean maybe having a rareness. It's panicking. No, that's not, that's exactly what you have. That's the perfect circle. I got real super. No, it's not dude. That's a circle. Okay, what what what is that? Yeah, you have ringworm, dude. Is that what it is? I don't know, but look at the one. Look at the one down the bottom next to the guy. He's actually guy. That's what you got. What? Open your arm. Next to the guy. I'm gonna take a picture of that. Look at me. Look at me. Look the guy. That's what you got. Open your arm next to the guy.

I'm gonna take a picture of that. Look at me. Look at me. That circle is way more filled. Look at me. It's under the cross that might mean something. Look at this. Open it.

Open it. Stay right there. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no a circle, dude. Shit, what do I do for that? You gotta eat it for later, so. No, stop. Am I gonna stop with that? Stop, I'm not showing it. It's not on the camera. I'm showing you. I really hope that's not it. It's not from, I thought I'd be touching it

and touching my microphone. I don't think it is. I don't think it is that. It's probably not that. Because does it ring worm itch? I know, do you hear ringing? I have these little worms that tell me what to do. I don't even know.

They're three fingers. No, I don't think it's that. I really hope it's not. What is wiki good furniture? What's happening? I don't know. That's our sponsor, Daddory. Oh, do we have to read that now?

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I'm gonna say that again. 610-438-4829. All right, you mentioned the podcast, you get free delivery and setup. All right, so here's a deal. This place, 316 town center, Boulevard, Eastern PA, right over the the Phillipsburg Bridge. It's right there. Go check them out. You

see the awesome cool little fucking sign. Go check out this furniture company, mention the podcast. You get free delivery and set up on top of that, everything's 70% off. I'm gonna go there and get some stuff for the tiny home. Yeah, that would be funny if they were like, yeah, not for you, dude. No. You don't get your own. I mean, it's small, I'm war. It's French.

Wicked good furniture. Wicked good wholesale furniture. Go check them out right now. I wanna thank you, Sean Sean. What do you got again? Rainworm. No, I thought I'm looking it up now. It's heat rash.

I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said something. You're gonna be freaking me out. This is another thing where I should have just kept my fat mouth shut. I saw Ringworm and I tried to tell you. I've thought that before, but I'm almost, it's heat rash. It is heat rash. Okay.

Do you want me to find out for you? No, I'm gonna find out. I think it is. I often get that. Okay, okay. All right. I feel better now. I've never seen it with a rash ever. Her skin is flawless. it is. I often get that. Okay, okay, okay. All right. I feel better now.

I've never seen it with a rash ever. Her skin is flawless. It is flawless. You look amazing. Thank you. Thanks, guys. But I do get rashes. As long as I'm still alive, you can see me.

This Friday, you can see me at the brokerage in Belmore Long Island for one show only. Great club. It's great club. Great killer club. One show's great too. It's fantastic. And in the fuck out. Exactly. And also at Show Any Time on social media.

And the DYN podcast on the left button, which is an amazing show. So funny. Both of them are fucking hilarious. I love that that shows on the network. We love to be on the network. Really, that's amazing. You fucking great. It's so different. Adam, what do you got? I that that shows on the network. I really love to be on the network. That's amazing.

You fucking great. It's so different. Adam, what do you got? I got a show on the left button too. It's called the Adam for our podcast, 30 minutes you'll never get back. This week is the FBI agent, Joan Navarro, who started the behavioral science division

of the FBI and he's an expert in body language. Who has episodes, Bobby Kelly. Oh, I had Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top on. No shit. Yeah, he was really, really cool. Before or after? After you. No, after the death.

Oh, it was before Dusty died. Yeah. Oh, really? Can I say something really quickly? After the guy died from ZZ Top, Jim Tews, that tweet, and he said, the guy from ZZ Top died? Ow, ow, ow. LAUGHTER Which is one a more favorite things from the past six months.

So, come on. That's so much fun to do. Hey, the guy from the CZ top died. Ow, ow. Let me try. Come on, let me try. Hey, the guy from the CZ top died. Ow, ow, ow. Let me try. Hey, the guy from Seasy Top Time? How, how.

How, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, that's so fun. Gary, you do it. The guy from Seasy Top Time. How, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, until she hasn't heard the song. Yeah, she has. I don't, I don't know.

Her father's literally one of the rock legends of all time. They're probably best friends. They probably know each other. Oh, absolutely, no each other. I purposely don't listen. And she has no idea. But some fucking new rapper and Brooklyn, she probably knows all the lyrics.

Yeah. The baby, you probably know those songs. No, the baby's cancel. Always cancel. I didn't get canceled. Yeah. Why? I can't keep that.

You said a bunch of shit about gay people having AIDS. Yeah. Wow. Now, who would have thought a grown man who named himself the the baby? It's something that's stupid. What do you got, buddy? Yeah, wow, who would have thought a grown man or named himself the baby? What do you got buddy? I got the podcast I'm at Uncle Vinnie's Friday and Saturday of this week the August 20th and 21st I make sure you check him out and I know I got tour dates up on my website and and thanks for having me I always love seeing you I love seeing you two man very fun show. Thank you for having and

Mosh, what do you got? Oh? We're gonna read the names We read the names you guys do the $10 do something funky I'll do the five you ready. Okay, I can't see I can't see anything yet ready. Here we go. Here we go. What you glasses? I got to be able to see these these are one of them is euro so that counts all right. Here we go bring it up ready Should I do it that's you go ahead but you gotta do the top one the top one yeah top one gets extra because they're 10 William Valentine You're supposed to do

This guy's fantastic William Valentine You he's the the lover will you I don't know I don't know I can't that's good. Okay, ready Mike Louweca Thank you for being a member Leo Douglas Euros, baby. Thanks for coming in from over the pond and you're up Is that a euro or a pound go ahead? That's a pound right euro. No, it's a euro. Go ahead. What do you pound, right? You're a, no, it's a euro. Go ahead. What do you got? Now you're up there.

I'm up. I'm going to go to the bottom because you're my favorite candidate. You're on Patreon. It ain't John. It ain't Robert. It's Andrew. Andrew, you're a candidate. One of my favorite.

That's a five though. You're supposed to read the $10. I'm going to the fight, I'll lady. I don't want it to feel left out. All right. But now read Ryan. Read Ryan? Yeah. Ryan, get part. Get part. You mean you were going to allow me to read Ryan? I'm undidressed to feel left out. All right. But now read Ryan. Read Ryan? Yeah.

Ryan, get part? Get part. You mean you were gonna allow me to read Ryan? I'm underdressed for such an honor. This is the get parts. Yeah. Ryan, thank you for being here. Oh, but $10.

Holy shit. That's it, right? We rang the bell. We rang the bell. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Ding-a-ling. This episode should be called, where's my readers? Yeah.

I don't have mine. You want to know how I can do such stupid I am? This episode should be called Where's My Readers? Yeah. Oh, the fucking thing. I don't have mine. You want to know how stupid I am? I went up to 150 from 125 and I was angry at myself. In the fucking drugstore, don't look at what you've done. Look at what you've allowed to happen to you. This has been a fun, fun, fun show. I hope you guys enjoyed it, right?

We got everything. Did I do everything? Hope you guys enjoyed it. You guys are the best fans in the goddamn world. You've been with me forever. All the new fans thanks for tuning in. Make sure you subscribe. Make sure you tell people do what you're gonna do and make sure you see these people live. Go see their live shows and support. Let them know you heard them from the YKWD. You know what? We'll see you for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs.

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