Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Andy Haynes, Rich Vos | Loose My Number

Episode Date: February 15, 2021

This week we're joined by Andy Haynes (and later Rich Vos) and a sudden guest cancellation due to Brooklyn losing all internet, we get an acting expression course, a quick Super Bowl recap, and look at comedy side hustles! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Work the program, I'm sorry It's a comedy podcast, this is an NPR That's the podcast done! Is there any better show? This the original original What's up everybody? What's up, Dad? You know what, Dad? Chrissy D fucking canceled dude. He said fucking said he would. Because Christy is a fucking phony piece of shit Piece shit fuck right Andy fuck yeah, dude fuck that guy with his with the same face as me Fucking with the same face except way better

Who's this better minor his? Yours Good yeah nice save dude Couldn't tell what you actually meant Yeah, my save, dude. That was good. Couldn't tell what you actually meant. Oh, fuck him. He knows he's such a pussy. He does nine podcasts with 15 different people.

I asked him to do the original fucking comic East Coast podcast. And that bitch flags fuck him and his excuses. Fuck him and his Wi-Fi. I'm glad you honest left. Now we know who the fucking person was. Now we know who made the hyenas. Now we know why the hyenas are broken up. Now we know why they that's why they broke up

is because Chris stopped having Wi-Fi. And what Chris was lying about it. Chris was lying. They really, oh Chris, you can't, this show doesn't need Wi-Fi. You fucking dummy. You can, I've had Colin Quinn on his phone on this show. Okay, yes, Andy is actually good looking.

Chris is fucking an illusion. Exactly that wide hip. Really? He's a shit. Here, I just texted him. Here, you wanna hear what I texted him? Yeah, you ready? Those are what I tech cabbie. Did I call it? You called you said 50 bucks. He cancels three times. You made that deal three times in Hollywood

Climbing that's why you stepped right on Yannis's fucking spinal cord to get on salve Salves fucking back. Oh my god. Spinal cord. What did he do? So sorry, I'm not gonna be able to make it until 546. Go fuck who?

What's 546? Who says 546? So, so you know, that is he picked another podcast over you. Yeah, you. Yeah, I feel like you live 45. He's probably doing fucking exactly. A wide fine in the middle of wherever the fuck go fuck anyway, also can I do next week? So sorry, Bobby, I wrote lose my number. He's probably watching on Wifi That little fucking pussy you can go fuck himself. I can't wait till it all falls apart He goes bald he gets fat and it's all done and I'll still be doing this little

This little podcast that will make it up the hill. I think I can I think I can I'll still be will make it up the hill. I think I can. I think I can. I'll still be ching, ching, ching, I'm here. I'm here. And I'm like, hey, dude, love to do. Go fuck yourself. Oh my God. Fuck you, Gabby. Go fuck you too. You should have. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. Oh my God. You pussy. Fuck and try. Oh my God. Anything. Stop saying try oh my god anything stop saying oh my god go you right I'm behind you you're absolutely a fuck Christy say it listen I'm I'm till you started yelling at me now I'm on Christy say it oh Christy there you go all right I'm saying it I'm Chris just definitely I'm not even gonna say D

I'm gonna go all the way you're gonna make sure that people know right? Yeah, with his- I'm not talking about Chris's stuff. And nurse body. Oh, who are you talking about? Oh no, no, no, no, I love Chris's stuff. We're talking about Chris D. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

That's what I'm- I'm playing around. Yeah. Chris, Chrisy, Chrisy, this, Chrisy, A.K. This, how about Chrisyissy fuck your friends in the back AKA fuck your friends. How's that? Yeah, right Andy? I think it's great Andy. You're my new Chrissy D. Oh, thanks man Yeah, your skinny Chrissy D your AK Andy a K good- looking Chrissy D how's that? No, I will take that to the bank tell the executives at ABC. I know.

I want his development deal. Watch out. I hope Chris he's probably writing a pilot. He has a deal. He has me as like a father figure in it. I already have the gate. And he just he has me. He has me the first episode literally just beg for the job. I'm just appalled. I have to fight, Janice. You have to fight, Janice, to the death. You have to quit your podcast. I, what's that?

One of us, both we both said things, which one were you addressing? You. I was gonna say Chris makes you quit the podcast to do his sitcom. So I have to, I have to never do YKWD again. Yeah. But you're not that big of a deal. I mean, what's he gonna do? There's six people in here right now. No, I'm kidding. He makes you quit and then he starts a new podcast called WKWD.

Yeah. You know what, dude? I'm really putting the brakes on these bits. Real cool. You're really out of track. Brakes happening. I'm trying to go. I was Chris he was here here just really make things fun

Yeah me too Wow, I mean nonstop laughter right now. I just have to sit back and let him do his thing where you you're really pushing You're really pushing that joke up a hill Well, it's cuz I don't I'm not one of these show business people that needs the attention all the time I'm not one of these people that you know because sometimes you're like on top of each other I can sit back and try to give the other person some space because I have some self-esteem, you know Everybody else is like, let me do my bit real quick and then you know, it's chaos right But when you do you reciprocate with that at all that was kind of a bit in itself. I thought you might chime in

This is your problem Andy and I'm gonna say you way you have serious face. I know I can't help it So I can't I can't laugh at your funny jokes first of all you Bruce Bringsden mouth, which freaks me out. Okay. I mean, can we see it a little bit? Just bring your mouth. Dude, you have brie. Ah, you have Bruce Bringsden mouth, which is freaking me out. And you have serious face. Well, I don't know if you're my sociology teacher yelling at me for not paying attention or you're joking around. I have no idea. I hate it.

I really hate it. I try to tell people that I might be on the spectrum and then I get shit from people that are like advocates of people on the spectrum. I really, I don't know. I'm thinking this whole time and my eyes just reded, you know, just, just serial killer charisma, you know,

like I, it's, I'm really am trying to be, yep, I do have, I look a lot like young Bruce Springsteen. That's what a lot of people have said. Oh my God, dude, it's fucking, bring up another photo of him, Mochie. I mean, bring up a closeup of his bottom jaw. I mean, you have Bruce Bringson's mouth. I think you should bring him.

You should play him on a TV made, if they ever do a made for TV on Axis TV. Where it's just his below his nose, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Maya. Did you see his commercial yesterday? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think the Matthew McConaughey was a good one. Until the end, the end kind of was silly. I thought it was pretty cool, like a little, reminded me of like a little short film with him walking around thin,

like he had the A-Wheel in that movie he got. What's that movie? Dallas Byers Club. Yeah, he looked here, he was the same weight as Dallas Byers Club. Oh, I couldn't get that out. Yeah. Yeah, he looked here. He was the same weight as Dallas buyers club. Oh, I couldn't get that out. And I, but I love Matthew money. What was the other one that was good?

There was another one that was good. Yes. That picture. Yeah, put your head back a little bit and put. Go back to the dark. No, I'll back a little put your head back just a little right there. And open your mouth just a little bit. Yeah. And that's it.

Holy shit. That's pretty close. That's weird. You're by a Jeep and you drive around. I can't do this, boys. I just thought it was weird that his Jeep was like a convertible. I didn't understand why he was driving around doorless and ruthless in the winter. That was an error. I don't know. They bothered me. It bothered me too. I was watching it,

the little mini church, for little mini people. I was under that and the cowboy hat, the dirty cowboy hat. He he was doing manual labor, like Bruce Pinkstein has ever picked up a pitch fork or, you know, tame to wild horse. You know what I mean? And his gloves that were beaten up and used for some, I don't know, were you shoveling out? Yeah, like he's ever had to fix a car

since he was 19 years old. Right. I bought everything until the very end when he jumped into that stupid Jeep with no top. And I'm like, I'm out. I just, it doesn't make sense. You fucking, you went too far. It was a rich guy thing. It was some rich guy being like, I know what the pours do. They all get their convertible jeeps. And they, you know, they drive around in my lesser green jacket. Yeah, but do you understand you have to have a heated garage in the middle of the winter to store that or the interior would be ruined with the snow and the ice.

And this look at, it's all snow around them. Look at his outfit that is like definitely all like that, you know, it's like from a designer like that like Polo Ralph Lauren, like you know the RRL brand version. It's he's probably wearing like $5,000 worth of vintage denim for his fake blue collariness. Yeah, like that outfit to the guy who really wears it, he got it Walmart and it cost probably 26, 99 for that whole outfit. That outfit that he's wearing cost

thousands of dollars. Those gloves, Apollo gloves, that jacket, some fucking sidequeer made in France to replicate the American West. He's wearing a scarf. He took like a... The French guy went out to Europe so that he went to the Midwest just so that he could see what poor white people dress like. Yes. The dogs. The dogs. They also has a spray tan in that. How can you tell? I think it was just a show. No, you can tell.

Women know these things. You can see it here. Women can be like, look at his, look at the, his crow's feet. They're, they're lighter. And then they're, you know, yeah, look at his crow's feet. They're lighter and then they're, you know, yeah. Look at his forehead. He got Botox. He doesn't smell.

You think his face did look tight. Like he looked, he looked tight. Like he got something done to his face. He got a left. I look like that. He really looks like a box. But you're going to put that up? Did I have Botox? No. Have you ever gotten it?

What about you? No, why would Gabby? You ever get Botox? I did. I got it once just to see. I actually, I got it a couple of months ago, just to see and I can't, do you say? Oh, yeah, yeah. There it is. I'll never do it again.

It kills all the nerves so that you're like when you like raise your eyebrows, like this part of your head doesn't react. It's really good. I got it right before pilot season, kind of a genius move. But you know how dead in all my auditions. Bobby, you know how like when you like see a hot chick and you're like that chick is beautiful. And then like a little bit of a forehead moves and you're like, ah, forget about it. Like this ego with her with her mobile forehead. I'm out of here. I got Botox. I got the fat guy Botox where you get so chubby. It stretches all your wrinkles out. If I lost weight, I would look 72 right now. My mom is a chubby woman and she looks great.

She looks really great. No, it's okay. She's on the internet. Your mom is chubby. Yeah. Isn't everybody's mom chubby? Yeah. I just, I come from like, you know, like not midwestern, but like farm people.

I come from like farm people in the in the western Washington, you know. I you did you work? I you did you work in a farm? Did you up in a farm? No, they were like, but what is your dad do? Well, he's retired now. Well, he's a he's a real estate agent, like kind of he's a horrible businessman. Uh, but he was a insurance executive for years. Okay. And what did your mom do before she was chubby? My mom has been pretty chubby my whole life and she's been a nurse in the same room at the same hospital for 52 years. Really? Yeah. Why the same room? Is there a rich patient there? She's the recovery

room. She's the head of pediatrics in the recovery room. Right. Okay. Oh, that's pretty good. And she proud of what you're doing. I don't think she gets it. I don't know. Did you like where she she's proud of me? She likes it. Like when I get on TV, she seems to brag a little bit, but she thinks I'm very dark, which she's not wrong. I'm not really like for everybody, but you're not a Chrissy D.

Right down the room. I'm not like a hand, you know, right down the middle, just walk the room. A little face to my range of stuff, but then we do some cute stuff. So everybody loves us. Yeah, and then we lie to our friends. When they can't give us something to further our career, when we think I'm, you know,

fuck him. Okay, what were you saying? Yeah, yeah, that's exactly it. No, like, she, she never really got, like she always thought it was like, she would tell me, like, I'd be like, I'd go on the road, and I'd be like, I like I'm exhausted I've been traveling all week and my mom would be like can't you just tell the club you're tired? Can you see if they'll just Just tell them you can't do the late show and maybe you won't stay Sunday She just for the longest time she thought it was like this hobby that I was doing and then like a couple times She came and saw me in Seattle and she was like terrified. She was so uncomfortable. Because I was talking about how she beat me, you know, yeah, her secret was revealed.

No, no, she was, she was a good mom. I, um, my mom still asked me to come home and be a hairdresser with her. Really? That's her dream. That I buy the little ranch across the street from her house. And we all move in and I'm right across the street and I wake up and I just go across the street to my mom's converted garage, hair salon. And me and her do old ladies hair all day long. I can picture that so vividly. Yeah. And I walk in, A, what's up? And me and her will fight and she'll bust my chops and keep going and pushing me and then I'll snap.

And she'll be like, oh my God, just so sensitive. And then she'll cry and the customers will feel bad for her. And I'll be the fucking bad one. And I'll have to apologize. And then she'll smile because that's her intention, the whole fucking time, because she can be evil sometimes. And then, you know, there you go.

That's a great highlight. My mom wishes that I would come and work in the hospital. She wishes that I would be a, like, I would transport patients and just, you know, just show up in the cafeteria with her and all her Filipino coworkers and just gab. Yeah, it's, you know, my mom's like, oh, I wish I would do max. I could see max. Listen, we went home you know, my mother's like, oh, I wish I would do max. I could see max. Listen, we went home for like, I think four days once and we brought max over to the house.

And we were like, hey, no, you know, you can have them. Take them. And she's like, oh, and within an hour and a half, she was on the couch by herself watching episodes of Castle. Castle is to be fair to her. Castle's a good show. It's a great show. And that's I feel bad every time I watch it because Bonnie dated the lead in

that and then broke that off and hooked up a rich boss, which is just a more tragic. Oh, it's tragic. It's sad. Yeah, what's that Canadian's name? He's great. Not rich what's that Canadian's name? He's great. Not Rich Voss. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, he was on Firefly or something like that. That's why that's exactly why moshit that name out so quick because of the nerd. I know from Castle. I don't like Firefly. Oh, I'm sorry. You middle age fucking lesbian. I don't like Firefly. Oh, I'm sorry. You middle-aged fucking lesbian. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. If I ever, I mean, my mom, I had to tell her at one point, you are fucking throwing shit energy in the universe. If that's real, you're the cause of my, I think sometimes the cause of me not becoming

as famous as maybe I should be. In my own head is my mother wishing that I come back every night to live in that ranch and cut hair with her. Yeah, I think when I was like seven years old, I was watching Little Man Tate the Jody Foster movie with I said mom It was about a boy genius. It was about a boy genius Jody Foster was a kind of negligent mother and Harry Connick junior was a Kind of a what do you call that like a

Brotherly type and I said mom I want to be a genius and my mom kind of leaned in the door and she said you're not a genius and then walked away and that was the Insomnia, I was the end I got one second everything turned down ill for me. Ari you're on my podcast live. What's up? Dude, you don't kind of pressure this is for me. Well, you you call me once now you call me twice so i mean i'm you know i want to i mean it must be an emergency for you to call me this much what's up twice i'll call you back after your podcast no one no one cares to listen to me

what was the murder this is the booker for the kumia show what's the the emergency? This is the second time you call me. Is everything okay? Bobby everything's good. It's not a real emergency. I'll call the talk to you later. But what happened? What's going on? But what's up? Are you okay? Is everything all right? You know what? Everything's all right now. Do you need me for something? No, Bobby. Do you know Chris DeStefano? Yeah,ano. Yeah, Chris, what's going on? Does he do Anthony show? He does. Anthony show you with Chris now. No, he's not. He canceled my show today because apparently they don't have internet on in Brooklyn anywhere even on his cell

phone. He's coming on an show and he's doing a show on Avery show who I booked for also. When's that? Probably like first week of March. Yeah, well, he's probably gonna cancel. So, yeah, he's gonna get a second chance. Okay. His is garbage. I'll talk to you later, buddy. Later, man. Gabby, what's in there, glass?

It's a really big mug. The comments are really going off about this mug. It's just tea. All right, so funny. Chris is such a piece of shit. That kiss is such a fun. Did he answer? He's

I wrote I Gives his buddy this I Wrote I did it I did it too fast and it did spell check it it wrote L.O.O SE my number he wrote back L.O.S.E Astrick Really sorry brother. He corrected my spelling. You wrote loose my number. I wrote loose was really funny. That's unfair because I mean he shouldn't be correcting people's spelling. I'm sure that Chris hasn't read a book in a couple years. No, actually, actually Chris is very smart. He went for his neighborhood. He went to high school. His genre. His category of people where you'd put him

Yes, he is oh Mukh-fini is calling too. You're live on the podcast right now. Why KWD? What's up? Is it important? Hey, it's up everybody No, call me back. When you're done if you want that's it. That's all you got I mean No, call me back, when you're done if you want. That's it. That's all you got. I mean, now that I'm on the podcast, I mean, obviously you can check out Irish goodbye or use the scenario, obviously. So that's, are you plugging? I that.

You suck. You hold generation. I gotta be honest. I expect you to hang up. Andy. Andy. Andy, this generation stinks, right? Yeah, they're awful.

Andy Hain? Excuse me? Yes. What? That was Andy Hain's talk? Yes. All right, well, I have nothing but respect for him, but it had been another Andy. I would have been really upset.

Do you know Andy looks just like from the nose, well, from the brow down, Bruce Springsteen? No. Yes. Absolutely. Yes. from the nose, well, from the brow down, Bruce Springsteen. No. Yeah. Yes. Absolutely. Yes. All right.

Yes, what? Bobby, am I not a good enough guess? I don't... Jesus Christ. Listen, listen. You know what? You're absolutely right. I apologize.

I never... You're three phone calls. We're 20 minutes in. I can go see where Rosebud is. If you know, I, maybe this was a sympathy booking. I don't know. You know,

I was having a brilliant conversation with you. I, Lizard, and I tell you something, Lizard halfway through the Fini one. I was like, I was like, oh my God, I'm taking a lot of, I'm really, I'm really desperately searching for. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I haven't set you up to succeed.

That kind of looks like Rosebud and Andy. All right, listen, I apologize. I was just trying to keep the boss. I was trying to keep the Chrissy D thing going. I apologize. You do.

You look like a cross between Matthew McConney and Jody Foster. Yeah. You really look like is if you pull up mush pull up Matthew McConney, hey, from true detective season one, and there's one one look that he has that is like it's like a doppelganger situation. Really? Yeah people would send me the photo constantly. I even did like a I

did like a sketch where I played him and the creator of True Detective said he liked it so creator of True Detective said he liked it so oh pretty cool wait a minute the creator of True Detective how did he get it? I think it went around I don't know I put it out I'm sure he follows you? No it was like before it was like 2014 yeah right there yeah wow Yeah, wow make that taste. Well, I can't do it right now. Oh, you're a bad actor. Yeah, I can't really do. You just do you have brow, but turn the other way, other way. But then Bob, you got a phone call right now.

I can't control my face. I'm a horrible actor. What do you, what do you, what are your plans in this business if you're a horrible actor? You not want to act? No, no, I do want to act. I don't think I'm a bad actor. I can't. I couldn't.

I don't think that's acting, Bobby. Just so you know, just creating a face you see, I don't know. Actually, it is, it is acting. I think acting is faces. Good. I'm going to test you right now. What a good actor I am. Go ahead.

Say something to me. Whatever. Doesn't matter. Me nice. Whatever. Is this you pulling up your HB studios training on us? Just say just say something. Bobby, what the fuck?

You you're honestly going to do this to me right now. You make me drive all the way up to Westchester, you say I'm gonna be a guest on the pot and then you say I can't come in because of this COVID bullshit. Okay, is this? You're a big, I said so much without even saying a word. Well, that's great podcasting and that's.

Well, and that's why we're going to take this call from Joe DeRose, a real. Why? Please do, please. And now he's not calling it. He's he's too many. He's making sandwiches. Um, fucking a. Now, let me ask you a question. I want to talk about the Subaru last night. Did you watch the game or are you not in the sports? What the fuck, Bobby? You just think I'm what do you think I go and I do my dogs nails after this? Yeah. And she's I don't know why. It might be a little bit more. Andy, why are you just because I don't like drink light beer and like, you know, fucking talk about the fucking weird East Coast bullshit that all you guys talk about.

Like fucking, I don't think on the road and shit. I am very into sports. I love sports. I like soccer, which I know you think is homosexual and I do not I do not I did watch the I don't think it's homosexual I just think it's very terrorist of you. You're very you hate America if you like soccer But let me ask one question. Have you ever done your dogs nails? No, I've clipped them. It's hard that counts. That's counts Yeah, so you know if you don't clip them for a while

They're fucking like nerves grow into them. You can't clip them anymore. Yes, I do know that I have a dog But I don't my wife cuts the nails. I don't I don't groom my dog. That's not a manly thing to do The podcasting is not manly at all as I con volotea la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. I'm just asking, I didn't mean to question your manhood. I didn't know if you like sports or not.

That's all. Yes, I like sports, Bobby. I play. You like sports. What? Just like talking to my wife. Oh, my God, you're so sensitive. And so you have cancer.

No, I'm a cancer. Oh, I thought you had cancer. I'm like, oh, my God. I didn't know that. Yeah, I told you. Yeah, I'm very sensitive. I have cancer right now. Oh, my God, I'm a cancer. Oh, I thought you had cancer. I'm like, oh my god. I didn't know that. Yeah, I told you.

Yeah, I'm very sensitive. I have cancer right now. I'm going through chemo. Pretty bad. So, don't go full again. No, I played soccer and I skied. I mean, I'm just the, I'm exactly what everybody makes wanted me for being.

I'm just like a very Anglo-Pacific Northwest kid. But skiing is such a fucking, I mean, dude, I hate it. I hate it. I don't understand it. I don't know why. Yeah, out here, it's the worst place to do it. I mean, if you live somewhere, the snow is good. It's great.

What does that mean? I don't understand what that means. The snow is good. I mean,. What does that mean? I don't understand what that means, the snow is good. I mean, I grew up like climbing mountains and getting the snow in like, or ski and like, pillow soft, you know, snow. And it's, you know, it was amazing. It was, it was like, so cool. It was like mountaineering every weekend type of thing. It was amazing. But this is like hard ice. There's a bunch of like weekend warriors. There's not really interesting terrain. It hurts your joints. It's not the same. Yeah, because I skied a few times when I was younger. And it was always a horrific time. I've never had a good experience skiing. Every time I went, I remember once I went and I did good,

it was okay, but this girl, we went with when I was in the rubber rooms in high school. When I got out of rehab, I had to go into the rubber rooms. And that means I went to school like the three classes, then I went and got I went to a job. I worked at a styrofoam factory making styrofoam balls for Christmas ornaments with two Spanish ladies and a mentally retarded guy with my boss. I have a I have a similar career trajectory like that. You do. I made boxes, like I worked at the ski warehouse where we like fulfilled ski orders. And we had to like make the boxes sometimes to put the skis in when we were fulfilling the

orders. And sometimes when we got like a like we didn't have enough boxes and they needed to pull in a skeleton crew, they would pull in this entire busload of mentally handicapped kids. And it just really showed you where you ended up that the like the people that backed you up, the people that saved the day were the mentally handicapped kids. Oh, yeah. To make I used to get yelled at all the time. He was mentally, mentally handicapped the way you say it or you know, I guess you can't say the other word anymore, right? It's way better to say retarded, but you know,

we're close to it. Okay, so I won't call him retarded anymore. He is mentally challenged, but back then he was retarded. But he would, yeah, he would, he would do like, we had to fill boxes with styrofoam chips. We had a grind styrofoam in this big grinder. And like we had to fill boxes with styrofoam chips We had a grind styrofoam and this big grinder and then we had to fill these boxes with styrofoam chips I guess to put shit in or just to give people styrofoam and then we made these balls and I would get yelled at all the time By this guy because I would fuck up constantly

but When we worked it Well, I would go I would go to school and the rubber one was this Tall chick like Big Bird girl from the projects and then this smoke and hot chick from California But she she was a little she had big tits But she definitely had problems and these two Korean girls that didn't speak a lick of English and They took a skiing Mr. Lions he was it looked like a little leprechaun he took a skiing on a field trip

once and none of us have ever been skiing it was just this you know bow this this fucking bocey room bowtard class in a van going up to a mountain. They rented the skis. They took us up the bunny slope and I remember me and the blonde were hanging out and the two Asian girls were in front of us just giggling going down the mountain after like our fifth lesson and then this tall girl from the projects, she had big frizzy hair. And she just pointed her ski straight down the mountain and she was flying her mountain.

But she was too close to the tree line. So she was just smashing her face on tree branches. And I remember she flew past us and we were just screaming pizza, pizza. And then I remember the Asian girls were just giggling. And she wound up going down and sliding down the mountain on half her face. And it was all ice and then we had to go home

because she was so fucked up. Now did you know that you were in like the special ed program at that point? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, you were aware. Well, that year, I went from ninth grade to tenth grade and he, yeah, I went from jail rehab to special ed. I was just excited to be out, you know, in high school.

I was in a regular high school. I hadn't been in a regular school for years, you know, at that point. Wow. And then that year, Mr. Lions took me into this office with folders, and he was like, I need credits for you to get out of this class and get in a regular classes. And he was like, what'd you do in Juve Hall? You're doing the classes? I go, yeah, we went to a group thing. He goes, great, you have a sociology. You did sociology this year.

What about art? I go, yeah, I did not. He goes, great, you have an art credit. He just made up credits for me. And put him in my book so I went to regular classes in 10th grade. So I got out of his class and went back to regular classes the next year.

Yeah. I had a principle that I convinced to give me better grades on classes like failed. And I thought he was like the coolest guy in the world. And then it turned out later on that he was fucking one of the students. So that was cool. So he was the coolest guy. Yeah, he was the one of the students. So that was cool. So he was a cool guy.

Yeah, he was. Yeah. I was just jealous of that student, you know. He was really was he was a boy. He was fucking or a girl. No, girl. He was a girl. Oh, I found out one of my teachers was banging kids back then too.

I just found that out. I thought she was fucking you fucking a man or a female. A female was fucking my friend who was a guy. Yeah. Junior's in high school. That's like my was a female too. And it was 8th grade. Was she hot? No, I mean, she had this long, beautiful, almost like witch hair, just gray black straight like she was hot. Yeah. Okay. The hot.

All right. She was hot. She had a bow foot and Jim did she was hot. She was smoking hot. And my uncle's friend was dating her at the time and he would always show up in the middle of class and she would disappear for like 20 minutes. And I finally asked him, I think a couple of years ago,

he goes, oh yeah, I was fucking her, fucking the shit out of her. Well, you guys were doing jumping jacks. I was sticking in her ass, fucking making her suck my cock in her office. Oh my God. Oh yeah, she was hot though smoking hot. That makes it okay then. That's cool.

Yeah, you want ugly people doing that. That's just that's disgusting. That's gross and wrong. Should be. Proverted. Yeah. So this guy would he didn't give you good grades because he was trying to bang you. No, he was just cool. Just cool as shit. He was just a cool guy. And he actually, I think he,

you know, it's funny because it's like the same neighborhood that that Mary Kay Laterno is from. They're must have been something in the water, but they ended up like staying together, him and the student. Wow. What she's doing. Still? I don't know. I didn't keep on, you know, that was senior year of high school. I didn't really follow the news. You're not up to date. No, don't anymore.

And that must be a tough thing, though, for a guy. I mean, I guess anybody, but a guy have some smoking hot teenage high school girl just into you. Yeah, I mean, you got some fucking, just some passive aggressive wife who goes to sleep early every night. And, you know what I mean? And every day she's fucked. Did you do this?

Did you do that? And they're fucking underarms are wiggling when she waves by. And then fucking you go to school and Sarah is just smoking hot. Hey, Mr. Kay. Oh, yeah, she's so amazed by everything that you do. She thinks it's cool. The thing that your wife rolls her eyes at. Sarah thinks that's like the most interesting thing in the world because she's

a child. Yeah, of course. That's so weird. I remember young. I think about, you ever think about the young girls used to, I mean, your wife though. Do you look, how old are you? 38. Yeah, your wife is smoking hot.

My, I don't talk to, my wife is hot. My, I don't talk to my wife is hot. Your wife is young though. She's got, you know, my wife, I like my wife. She's my type of girl. She got nice big Boston cans and she's like a little boy-ass. That's my thing. She's got a little slap. What's that? Two things for this podcast to take. I am Bobby took, took calls and then told me he thinks my wife is on. All right. Cool. Yeah.

I think I'm not offended by that. You shouldn't be because I want nothing to do with a blonde. It's like that. It's got to me. It offended by that. You shouldn't be because I want nothing to do with a blonde. It's like that. It's got to me. It's like that. Petri's joke about when he's like something about like people. Aren't you worried about your, you know, like your girlfriend, like, because she's hot, you know, like aren't you worried about other guys trying to fight like fucker?

And he's like, well, I would hope that she would be hot. And I don't, I can't remember, but it's something about sending her home on her, she's like, she'll be fine. You like tells her to take a shortcut down an alley. Nobody's gonna fuck with her. It was such a such a good bit that I'm fucking ruining.

Yeah, no, you wife is smoking hot, but I remember, I remember when I used to do colleges And I remember like the girls I would meet like when I used to perform late 20s early 30s I do colleges and I just remember oh my god, I remember like 24-year-old girls just and it's such a different and I'll never that's like a weird thing to say I'll never experience sex like that again like I'll never Experience unless my wife gets a fetish for young chicks

You know they may not just like I brought you to fuck young girls and freck I watched Bobby. I brought you to eat 24 year old box in front of me kid Bobby, I want you to eat 24-year-old box in front of me, kid. I'm gonna rub one out in the corner with a fucking vibrator and I want you to eat that girl's little tight snatch and I want you to fucking, I want you to ball fuck that other chick in the ass. Oh! Jesus Christ. Yeah.

I see, I dated a couple like between my ex and Rose, but I dated a couple younger girls. And I found it to be, I couldn't do it anymore, you know? Like I was like 37 and they were like, I don't know, 24. And I was just like, I can't talk to you. You know, something yeah. The sex wasn't as fun. I don't know why.

Because they wanted to talk when they're done. They also wanted to do more like I'm a real meat potato. It was f**k, you know, like I like just good old athletic, you know, just, you know, I don't need to like put on like, I don't need to put on a glove and choke you and pretend more like You know like we're like trying to survive in the post apocalypse But I'm also like respecting you somehow Like I don't I don't want to do any of that. I've always thought that was Lane

Club what's that so what do you mean? What do you mean, meat potatoes got a fuck? What the fuck is that? I just like to fuck. I don't need a back story. All these people need to pretend. You know, I like to fuck. And I think it's I like to have sex with my wife

who I'm lucky as an attractive woman. And so I like I like to have sex with and wife who I'm lucky is an attractive woman. And so I like to have sex. And I, you know, I don't know. I don't like to like slap people around and like talk a bunch. You know, I don't need any of that. I think I fuck like a like a college professor. That's how I probably fuck. Like the hot college professor.

That's how I fuck. I'm not like you dirty slut. You, you you probably you probably have a lot of issues with this. I don't need to do that. I'm not, you know, so you just you just have sex. Now do you kiss it all lots of kissing. You know, I'm not like just like missionary looking each other in the eyes. Obviously. missionary looking each other in the eyes obviously. I like to fuck her. I like to do a little, little fucking teeth grindin'. Yeah, I know. What do you mean you know? I know.

We talk about sex or be the potatoes. Meant potatoes, yeah. Meat and potatoes in my favor, by the way, if there's any meal on the planet, meat and potatoes is my thing. But sexually, I like to talk a little bit, a little, right? A little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little I like talking, but not if you call it a talky-yawky.

The hell? That was like, you know, in the Scott's lawn care commercial last night when Stanley said, tiki-talky, it was the same tone. Oh yeah, it was. Who was that? What was this? Who was the guy for the halftime, by the way?

What was this halftime? Oh my God. Who was the weekend, right? Yeah. What is that? Why is names the weekend? What is that? Why was he wearing fucking OJ's Timpson gloves?

No one. Why was he wearing, if the glove don't fit, you must have quit gloves. He was, honestly, he had the least charisma. I mean, he had like Coke, like, you know, like pin, pin drop, fucking eyes. He was zero charisma. I was, it was real painful to watch you. I was surprised. If he wasn't singing, he'd be grinding his teeth off.

Yeah, he, he, he had no, he did this little Michael Jack, like I, like I, it was imitating Michael Jack's is this little dance move and then he'd stop like he had nothing else. And then he would look up and look around. And then that was it. He didn't really do anything. He sang these songs, he had all these people around him. Yeah, I don't understand. These gloves are ridiculous. Why? Yeah, my friend Brandon Mordell said that he's like if Michael Jackson was into cocaine and pussy

instead of little boys. That's his personal. Yeah, Mike, Mike would to go a little chubby and kept his nose. Yeah. He's Canadian. So that should explain a lot. He's a Canadian. He's from chocolate. Oh, I thought you were Canadian for a long time. You know that you have that Bonnie McFarlane energy. Who are you talking to? You. You think I'm Canadian? Gross, dude. I thought, no, I thought you were Canadian for a long time. I wish I was Canadian. I'd have better health care right now.

No, I thought, yeah, I'm from Seattle. You wouldn't have better health care. You just have health care. I do have health care. Anyways, my, on my dad's side, the Haines' were the first governors of the Plymouth colony. So we probably spilt some native blood wherever you got sent to boarding school. You do have a pilgrim face, like colonist face.

Yeah, definitely. I'll absolutely. I'll absolutely. If I went to a Virginia reservation right now, they probably baddened down all the hatches, you know, all the windows would close on the houses. Yeah, you have that sunken eye socket of a somebody who had hand in Indian a smallpox blanket. Yep.

And it worked. And it worked. OK. It's not criticized at all you want. But now what do we have? A great nation. Ha, ha, ha. criticize it all you want, but now what do we have? A great nation. I, uh, I was a little pissed off last night, not pissed off, a little bummed out,

because I'm sitting there going, that's basically the patriots, winning the Super Bowl. Yeah. I mean, it's Grock, it's Brady. I mean, that's us. We just needed Julian Edelman there and Aaron Hernandez. We just needed Julian Edelman and Aaron Hernandez. Oh, fucking Aaron Hernandez. Goddamn, remember that year? Before he got arrested, the next year, they would have just run the, they would have just, I mean,

having Grock, Aaron Hernandez, that would have been nuts. Yeah. And it's all over. That's the one thing about sports. It sucks is that it comes to an end. And then you're just miserable for a couple of years until they find the next son of a bitch. Son of a bitch.

It's like the Seattle sea ox. We had like the legion of boom and we were like fucking untouchable. And then now it's just nothing. Oh, shit. What is going on? What is this? Hello. What is this?

Yeah, what show is this? Is this Calton Kelly? Is this? This is why. And this is, you know what, dude? Is this Kelly and two of the whitest human beings on the planet it's you know what dude what did you just wake up from a nap are you okay yes i'm just wondering what show it is my why why is it you want to do it you want morphine? He said did you just have surgery? No, I'm just wondering what it's you know what dude

I told you it's you know what rich how did you get in here? I've never had somebody invade a podcast and then ask what they were doing. That's how I am. You have a beautiful window behind you by the way. Oh my God, that looks so pretty with the blue. It's my, I'm just sitting at the kitchen. No, this is like our little table in the kitchen. And that's our backyard behind us. Does that was, does that was the projects are going? Yeah, back there was in our projects, but it will be. Back there. Rich bought a house with this beautiful

acreage behind them and then they, they put in a hundred unit building for the first month. It was there they broke ground on a hundred unit building 190 units. Oh, sorry 190 units. Yeah, so behind his house no longer will it be beautiful trees and swampland. It's gonna be a hundred and ninety Section eight housing. Now section eight not section 8, I tell you, you're fucking idiot. It's, uh, there's going to be, you know, regular condos.

And of course, there will be, uh, there will be some, like, everyone affordable housing, but affordable housing isn't, isn't low housing. Affordable housing is, is a step above low-housing. A formal housing is more of poor white people. What do you think? What? What? Do you want to take a call real quick Rob Robb. Wait, but why? What's wrong now? I'm crying. What? I'm making coffee. That's why I'm not in the flow of things.

Is it affordable housing or is it what are you talking about? Low income? In every place they build now, they have to put a certain amount of affordable housing units in in in yeah it's called section 8. No, that there's a difference. Look it up. Look it up. See the problem with you, you don't like to learn. You think you know and you and you just throw out false information to the universe. And that's the problem with your listening. Because then your listeners will believe

you're fucking hog watch. But, and that's what it is. Hog watch. Can you make some more stuff while you do this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You ever make coffee and take it too fast and it's too strong? Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Not right, you pour it, and now it's too fucking strong. Hey, Rich, are you a meat and potatoes kind of fuck? Or do you like to talk when you have insects?

I don't really, I don't really I don't talk I go is this almost over if I'm talking. I you know all the stuff like you know this is our secret. Hey, back when you went to school and you had a chalkboard. Did you, did you, did any teachers fucking either students back then? I don't know. I mean, I don't think not that I know up like the last and I kind of remember I was in English class. And I raised my hand I said to his my teacher was Mr. Binary. I said Mr. Binary can I go to Beth them and he gave me a hall pass and I never came back. I just walked out the school and said, I'm not for this. So, you know, I really didn't know what was going on. You didn't graduate high school? No, fuck no.

So much. What's that? What's that? That explains so much. It doesn't explain anything. I graduated the school of hard knocks. Oh my God. Oh, God.

Oh, yeah. Marvel. I am, Christy, Christy Stefano was supposed to be on the show that he canceled. Why did he get a federal office? I guarantee he's gonna cancel any canceled. Did he get a better offer to do a different podcast? No, I guess his internet was out.

He always internet said you use your phone. You don't need your phone. Right. Tell me. Don't say, yeah, I agree. Yeah, absolutely. I said that to him. I'm really missed. Liquid. He missed. Yeah. Andy, how's it going? It's good. Bobby's taking a few calls during the show. Apparently I wasn't bringing it enough. So you're the third call we've accepted. So we have a lovely conversation. I thought it was great. You're very interesting.

You're very charismatic. I mean, what are you talking about? I thought you had something with you. You said I do. I do. I'm just I'm giving you shit. I'm not scratching him, but you're calling that charismatic. I don't know where do you draw the line.

Call the kettle black. It's like, I just invited one of the sloths from Zootopia to drop in. That was Christ. Never seen a car. Our kettle is white, okay? Okay. We have a working kettle.

Jesus Christ. You lack charisma while he fucking makes another cup of coffee over the course of six minutes. Relax, I was just asking because I always saw you as more of a laid-back type guy. I am a laid-back type. That's actually how we got there is that I didn't need to jump in the whole time. I wasn't attacking your demeanor. I think you did attack. Exactly. We're not sure what you did was attack. I may be wrong about section 8 and I'll learn

about that but what you did was you did attack. For sure. Let's just spend the rest of the podcast reading up on you know housing zoning laws, what kind of tax incentives you get, you know, per unit. There you go. That's the charismatic Andy. I know. What? Andy, now you guys are in New York, right? In an apartment. Yeah. You you've been together with Rosebud White probably since the beginning of this, right?

Were you both together in that same apartment from the beginning? We started in a house in LA and then we came back to New York to the apartment. Yeah. Is it does it? I mean, Kusme and Bonnie basically hate each other and we have a house. Is it? I mean, you're newlyweds, so there is a little and we have a house, is it ease? I mean, you're newlyweds, so there is a little space in the ocean of hope. I leave a couple days a week to go to work, and so that really has saved our relationship.

Oh, yeah, that's a good, that helps. Now you go to work, the moving company, correct? I am, yes, I'm a mover. Are you with United Van Lines, one of them, or just a little... No, no, little'm a mover. Are you with United Van Lines, one of them, or just a little Brooklyn independent thing? It's a comic, it's a comic that runs it, right? No, no, it's like a, it's a kid from Connecticut that was like in banking

and some other stuff and then he went rogue and started his own moving company. But everybody that works for the company is like comics actors, there's a couple artists couple musicians. 18 wheelers or they uh no the biggest vehicles we have are like 26 foot trucks. 20 foot 26 foot how far will you go Connecticut or past you'll go to I drove to Fargo in November. We go to Florida, Texas. We'll go anywhere. It doesn't really make sense to go one way, though,

unless we're going to bring something back if we go beyond Texas. Do you, when you get to each places, like try to line up work at a club while you're there, if you know you're going to be there? Yeah, I do. I mean, I was trying not to be a mover more recently until the shaker, right? Yeah, I knew that was coming and I do have a tremor, so it works.

But I did, yeah, I do. If I'm in a town and there's like a gig I can do, I'll drop in, which looks very weird when a 26-foot truck pulls into the, you know, Cleveland hilarities side street. But can't you pull, like, can't you, the hotel you're staying at, and then just take the Uber over to the club or something? Well, that's who cares about how you get to club. I'm saying you can make it. Do you make it?

I have a normal conversation without saying something mean is killing everybody. Because he's like, he's like, politely answering these questions, knowing that something he's just building up for something. No, I'm not. I'm just wondering because I used to work with a moving company, but we only did local and I quit after two days or three days, because that shit was too heavy. Do you have your own straps or do they supply the straps? Do I have my own straps?

You know, to help you lift, you know, the straps. No, we don't use straps. I have a back brace because I have a head chalk to use. No hand trucks, we just use dollies. I Like it is it's it's like a it's like I get paid to go to the gym a couple days a week That's how I lied to myself about the success that I've reached Nice face something does it you do make money doing this no Right, no, I know he gets paying you fucking a

Asshole I said aphal and I face an asshole You caught boss's list My list is legendary. He's just stupid. Go ahead Yeah, I make good money, Bobby. I make good moving makes good money. You guys make some good cash. Now do you stay over? They pay for your hotel and all that shit. Does that come out of pocket? Yeah, I don't do a lot of overnighters. But yeah, when I do an overnight or I'll get a hotel now. Have you ever have you ever moved somebody that you knew? I try not to I have control over the that you knew? I try not to. I have control over the schedule. I'll try not to because it's pretty embarrassing.

What? I'll be the other. You said this comics. I have the other guys on the trucks. Other comics you're working with? Some of them. Yeah. You can't out them.

You can't out them. No, I can out them. I mean, a lot of guys used to work for the moving company. Langston Kerman used to work for the company. Kevin Barnett worked for the moving company. Well, these are all people we expected, but is there any bond? I don't even know. As Janus, as Janus pop is supplied for an application.

No, I think he's he's doing pretty well with his podcast money. I hope he saves some of it. I think they did all right. Uh, Mike Racine used to work for the company. That guy's funny, man. Have you ever watched him? He's fucking funny. Racine?

Yeah. Yeah, he's great. He's amazing. Yeah, Gabby, I think where you stand in this business, anybody really is funny to you. Oh, okay, thank you. You know what I mean? You should look up to anybody that can do three minutes.

You gotta go pretty good, you know what I'm saying? I mean, your crowd work is amazing. Thank you. When I saw you do crowd work, I almost stopped doing it because the way you asked that person, where they were from and had nothing to say after it was amazing that you could pull it. Right, right.

What did you say about Gabby's crown work? Let me tell you what she was saying. Where are you from? Where are you from? The guy goes Arkansas. Nice. Cool. Where are you from?

Ohio. Cool. Never. Where would you from Ohio cool? Where would you get that shirt Marshall's like it nice Bad crowd work guy So what do you do for a living plumber? Oh? How long you know boss roasted me that one day and then he gets up and he goes, what are those French fries? And the guy goes, yeah, he goes, cool. I was imitating you. No, you weren't.

Well, listen, let me explain something to you. Okay. You explain something to me. Yeah, do it. I don't do fucking food humor because I'm not gonna step on gaff again or Gary Goldman's toast. That's why I backed away from it. All right. You know, guys are the food guys. Yeah, anyhow, back to it back. Come here, Reina. Now you gotta see this horrible podcast I'm doing. Come here.

What are you talking about, horrible pie? Oh my god. Bobby, you can pick him off at any point. What's he saying? I can't. I can't. I'm like, I can't. I can't rid of him.

I can't because all my friends are dead or have strokes. He's the only healthy friend I have left. Oh. Not for long. I was thinking about that the other day. I'm like, I told my wife I go, you look okay, it's for Bobby Kelly. What does that mean? It's for Bobby. What was that? She said, look at me. I'm saying it's not like you never seen, you know, Bonnie and M F. I'd love it if you made it. If you guys made another cup of coffee,

that's kind of what I'm dying for. Oh, you don't have coffee? No. Nice. You don't drink coffee? No, I drink too much. I drink a lot of coffee. I asked this for podcast.

She said, she said, it's not what it is. Listen, we're going to wrap it up. You do the point here. Right now. You can't remember when you'd be like, like, guys, let's pick it up. The podcast is here. She's going to wrap us up. Wait, you can't wrap it up. I just came on. No, we're going into the extra 10 right now.

Oh, I want to be talking about the the the Super Bowl the Super Bowl commercials and I'm going to be talking what you don't you didn't watch it did you? Yeah I watched it holding out I want to go through my phone through the TV. How is it possible? I want to go threw my phone to the key. How's it possible? Wait, wait, save it. Save it. For right now. Rich Vos will be at Uncle Vinnie's this weekend, correct? Yeah, yeah. What do you mean, yeah, yeah, do you want a plug or not? Yes, I'm going there to move his couches. You should bring me as an opener.

Yeah. Anywhere you're moving stuff this weekend. I actually will be just in a local move, just doing local moves. Where are you performing anywhere? I don't go on the road till March. Okay, till March. And you got an awesome podcast with your beautiful wife. Yep. What's in the middle of the podcast?

It's called Find Your Beach. It's twice a minute. Patreon episode, it's doing great. Bobby, you know, you know, some about comedy and couples. You know, yeah, let me tell you something. You don't go, you're doing a podcast, you're beautiful. You go, you're doing a podcast with your funny wife. Okay, that's what you say.

All right, you know, you know, something I would say, I would say that to you. Yeah, no, with your phone. Oh, oh, that was. Oh, I mean, I mean, I had no choice. I had to pick. Jesus Christ. pick. I had to pick. I had to pick. I had to pick. I had to pick. I had to pick. I had to pick. I had to pick. I had to pick.

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Did he just hang up? You're wing. No, he doesn't know how. Anyways, yeah, you get a very funny podcast. You know, I love you and your wife. You're hilarious.

Yes. Thank you. But I want to have you on by yourself. Thank you. Forget about her for this episode. And I'm glad. I'm glad Chrissy D canceled. Thank you, man. I mean, I'm glad those other

people called too just to keep it rolling. But we got it out of it. It was good. I'm glad. We're going to go to the extra 10 right now. You thought I was gone, didn't you? Yeah, Gavin. Yeah, Gavin. Gavin, how are you? Quick make your plug please. I'm a podcast called, utter bash podcast. I have a monthly comedy newsletter. Subscribe in my bio on Instagram. I can't help it.

I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't help it. Yeah, I should make the newsletter. What's it called? Shaky Magazine 2. Oh my god.

You did a joke that nobody would get. Nobody gets a checky magazine is. Yes, I got it, but it was a joke. No, I'm sorry. You run shit like that by Bonnie before you say it, have her punch it up or tell you not to do it. I love what foster colleges. There's a word you never use run. Mike, we've got it. Oh, God. Mike, we swore as is is is email. What's your podcast, Mike? Oh, well, we've at Mike, we swore as an Instagram, me and Greg Stone do it. I do a thing called Mr ridiculous on YouTube pretty soon.

Yes. All right. There you go. You guys are the best fans of the world. We're going to go to the extra 10 now. What does that mean? We're doing 10 extra minutes, usually 20 for the Patreon only members, the lady bugs that are here right now. Or all, if you want to be part of this, go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. Mike would fucking at some point bring up the lower third so people can see it.

But apparently his fat little fingers aren't ready. There you go. Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. If you want to be part of this, you watch the show live when it happens. You can be in the chat. You can comment and you get the extra 10. We use it. All right, let's and we're gonna wrap it up. We're gonna do the names. The names is one that we read off the new Patreon members. We read their names. I read their names, but wow, look at all of those. But here's a deal.

The $10 ones get an extra little something. And what we do, Rich, what I usually do is if it's a $10 one, I give them a 10 guns to loot. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, Rich, what read that name. I can't see it. Where is it? Hold on. Wait a minute. I'll start to not slow us down.

Okay, thanks, Jenny. Welcome to You Know What, dude? Patreon $10 level Mike D and to celebrate your contribution to a good cause, Rich is going to make a cup of coffee for the next five minutes. So, a lot on. Okay, to Tyler Ballinger, 10 bucks per month, I'm gonna sing some Neil Young for you. Well, I dreamt also of a night in our room.

This is for all the 10 dollar members. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Start from the beginning. OK, I'll do our house. Our house. He's a very, very, very farm. I'm shakeman. With two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard. Now we're in the easy, go sir. And I'll like to talk to why you placed the flowers in the vault that we bought today.

All set the whole numbers. Advocating. There you go. Angela Fichario. And of course we have Philip Daniels, you guys are the best. Thank you so much for being members of the Patreon and supporting what I do here at patreon.com, all the ladybugs that joined us today. I want to thank my guests, of course, Rich Voss, who has a special Zoom happening. Where's your zoom? Huh? Oh, I think I'm doing something.

I'm doing it to something on the 26th of February, one of those zoom shows, the 26th of February. So it's on zoom. Where? On zoom. I don's on zoom. Where? I'm zoom. I don't know what it's that guy Steve Hofstetter. He does zoom shows. So we're going to be performing at Helium Comedy Club next Tuesday, I believe, the 16th. Oh, you're on that show, isn't it? Yeah, I'm I'm going to go up first, Voss is headlining

that show and maybe we'll get dinner before the show. I'm not hit. There's a great sushi place next door Let's go sushi your headlining. I'm not I can't close. I gotta go first Cuz I gotta go home I gotta go home, too You live 14 minutes away. I live in an hour facility silly. I live two. I live three hours away. Now you're job. Oh man, you do. You do. Andy, where you got your gigs? Where are you going to be again in March? Do you have anything March? March 18 through 20th. I'll be a laughs comedy club in Seattle and the following weekend, I will be at Acme comedy club in Minneapolis. Oh, I love that club.

Yeah, I'm on my favorite clubs. I just put a bunch of dates on my website too. I am gonna be in Chicago, Illinois. I'm gonna be in Michigan. I'm gonna be, I'm all over the fucking place. I just put all the March and half of April, I will be touring. I'm back on some shows. I'm very excited. My Hagen Sun is up there

So check it out. I'm very excited about that and Gabby has a podcast Is a mailing list if you like to read Look, I took an old piece of gum and made a gum pussy. It's really, that's a really good red. Mike Vsware and at Mike Vsware and they, you know, we'll see you guys next week. Fuck Chrissy D everybody. One, two, three. Fuck Chrissy D. And there you you go see you guys next week you

know what Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. you