Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Anne Franks of Comedy

Episode Date: December 17, 2018

Rich Vos and Ricky Velez join Bobby for an episode of holiday giving and estate planning! Donate to YKWD Gifts for Kids at PayPal.me/ykwdgifts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is going to be a cost of fire. It's podcast. It's no rules. What are the mic-ass holes? I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a microphone?

Oh, fuck the fuck. That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down Yeah, and sometimes it's hilarious sometimes. It's having no topics no directions. I love doing it Side to the coin Wanted a day thing my podcast is popular enough where I might affect some of these lines. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on whitecast.com. You know my Jewish menorah. Can you tell this fucking clinic at this camera out of my face? We have to what about her? I don't mind her All right, how did you get him? I forget who is he again?

That's Mike. Mike. That's Mike, uh, 2.0. That's New Mike. That's why Mike. How long have you been here? That's why Mike, uh, why Mike, uh, why Mike? It's whatever you want.

I know. I know. It's New Mike. Okay. I think Rich saw his rings and got mad. What rings? You see his rings, man? Yeah, but he found his rooms are the metal detected

Michael you're comic yes, yeah, are you doing this so Bobby takes you to open for him? Yeah Why are you coming in neck? Why are you so negative? I'm I'm not positive It is positive you're trying to put his self esteem on the line I give you cookie No, that's not positive. It is positive. You're trying to put his self-esteem on the line. No, I'm not. You're coming by. I give you cookie. I give you for the cookie.

And then you're coming to look at that panic button on the top of your fucking forehead. I got a cut on my head, and I don't have hair. Okay? Like you. I'm fucking covering. I got a hundred. What am I going to cover with? I'm going to cover some.

I don't want to make a bomb. I want to press it. You're Ricky actually was like makeup Yeah, a little thing a little no a little makeup. All right anyways. I just want to get this out of it Let me get a couple things out of the way with though you fucking everything up now What the fuck is that noise? What is that? What the fuck are you doing back here? Are you watching a funnier show?

No, it's you guys and we're seeing a video. Let's watch it like Skanks. Listen, I got this thing going on. It starts today. Everybody listening live, it starts today. If this is next Tuesday or if this is Sunday, this is coming out Sunday, right? This is coming out Sunday, so you have two more, it starts today. If this is next Tuesday, or if this is Sunday, this is coming out Sunday, right? This is coming out Sunday,

so you have three more days till this Tuesday, the 18th gift for kids drive, okay? I don't know who named that. Who named that? You named that. That's what you told me it was called. Gift for Kids Drive? I did.

That's exactly what it was called. Don't ever let me name something. I'm gonna touch it. That's your explain. All right, whatever. It's the YKWD podcast gift for kids drive. I did. Exactly. Don't let me name them. That's explain it. Alright, whatever. It's the YKWD podcast gift for kids drive. It's at paypal.me slash YKWD gifts. Here's the deal. You know, we did the toy drive a couple years ago. I couldn't get it together with, you know, all the stuff that happened a couple weeks ago. But I did want to do something for kids on Christmas. So we're gonna get me and my wife, we actually gonna buy ourselves personally. This is why you're going to hell.

I told you, just let me get the reads out. Let me get the fucking reads out. I'm packing up on my fucking... I hope it's forever. I hope it's forever sleep. I hope I have to do it. I hope this money goes to your fucking funeral. This is the kids' e-cocs.

I know that's nice that you're doing it. Yeah, David, don't something for anybody else besides yourself. Yes, I put last year, I can't even tell you how much stuff I put in short. Can't you have a microphone in front of you? You last year? Well, no, because when you do something, if you brag about it, it's then it's self-serving. You just already did it. You already bragged about it. No, you said you do something if you brag about it, it's then it's self-serving. You just already did it. You already bragged about it. No, you said you do not like you.

That's very unlikely. That's very unlikely. I will not tell everybody what you're doing. I'm sorry, I blocked him out. I forgot he was here. I don't... What's that tattoo? He said, yeah, Rick.

No, no. Move your bl tattoo? I've had a tattoo. He said, yeah, brick. No, not that. Move your blouse over. Let me show you. I told you. I told you. I fucking told you. His kung fu is fucking. It's amazing.

It's dragon punch. Yeah. Listen, here's the thing with kids. Not around the holidays. All year long. You have to take care of kids. You have to do nice things. That's not true.

I have my kid I take care of all year long. And for Christmas, I like to, I have kids. I was one of these kids, not this year, but like one of the kids where I was in a place or rehab or a lock up facility where you don't get gifts. And your family's not around and you don't get presents and it stinks and it's lonely. And this year we're gonna do for kids, kids in the hospitals, the children's hospitals.

We're gonna get these activity packs. You can buy from five to 10 dollars. We're gonna buy hundreds of them. And we're gonna, what? Five to 10. No, we're gonna buy hundreds of them. From who? From listeners? Well, we're gonna buy hundreds of them from hoops from the listeners Well, let me read the ad and if you fuck just play the video for this read ad play the video and I said retard

And I met this guy and it goes with him I'm sent I can't say actually you know as you're a help Hey, it's Santa and I need you help. I need you to go to PayPal.me slash ykwd Gifts right now and donate as much as you can me and my little helper over here We're gonna be donating a bunch of Melissa and Doug's activity kids to local children's hospitals What are Melissa and Doug activity kids? secret Dakota kids Scratch art Melissa and Doug, activity kids, secret Dakota kids, scratcher, sticker pads, all kinds of fun stuff

for the kids to do while they're in the hospital. Now we're gonna buy these with our own money and we want you to be able to help too. So you can feel good this holiday season by helping kids that are bored and sick in the hospital. Go to PayPal.me slash YKWDGifts right now. And it's only from today, the 11th till till next Tuesday the 18th and it's over so go now. Oh How was that

But what's Listen here's the deal. This is your problem. It's good. That was good. This is the problem with you You did great on that commercial listen this the this the problem with you I took away my things so I thought I maybe I jumped the gun you jumped the gun all the time You're a jump the gunner boss actually that's what you do My wife said that I don't know how you heard it you didn't have your headphones on That was really you know stop listening like you're a fucking spy in the 20s Put the headphones on.

I don't want to listen to me. I can't. I used to take my daughters and this is in Prague and just to raise them right. And we used to go to the kids hospital and I had them every year bring toys around Christmas to the kids. Because when you have your kids doing that,

you didn't do it last year of the year. Oh yeah, I brought a lot of stuff. I gave a lot of stuff last year what'd you give I gave four in in toys for tots or Or they were collecting sneakers to it my gym I gave four brand new pairs of sneakers brand new You know over a hundred dollars worth of sneakers and some toys into I always do it every year because you know why we have a lot of this. To the hospital giving out shoes to kids with no legs. I got to get you can't walk for years.

There's no second. I'm trying to get my fucking. I'm trying to give him a tick-tax toe thing something like a news. My brother's life is actually a nurse and she says the best things to get them is like coloring books Yeah, it's activity. Yeah, it's activity stuff. That's awesome. Yeah This this couple makes these activity books Forch

Watch it. That's what that's what boss gives them no Size a size 10 male sneaker that was used once and I'm giving them activity books male sneaker that was used once and I'm giving them activity books. Fuck it asshole. I can't, anyways. They collect everything. Yeah, they collect everything. Some for a homeless, some for kids. Okay.

Well, this year, can I plug my thing that I'm doing? I like to hold Siannaal for you, dude. The video. Paypal.me slash YKWDgifts go there now. If you get a lot of money, donate a lot of money. If you don't, if you don't, it's $5. One of these books, these activity books, cost five bucks. We're gonna try to get as many as we can.

We already have $100 donated. You know what? I'm gonna give you, the 100 you only put it in. That's a hundred you only put it in. That's a hundred bucks. Why not? I just gave a hundred bucks.

Hey, no. He's such a scumbag. Why am I a scumbag? It's literally, you're's a hundred bucks count. Why not? I just gave a hundred bucks. Hey, that's not. He's such a scumbag. Why a scumbag? It's literally you're just a piece of shit. I don't know. You're not. You're mad back. Put 80 in and 20. Let's give some Joe's pizza.

What's that old counterfeit 20 from the past? Put that in there too. Yeah, but that counterfeit you gave me. Oh, so now it's 80. So put 60 in. I gave you the 20 back for that. So it you gave me also now 80 so put 60 I gave me the 20 back for that. So anyway, it's go there right now. It's only till Tuesday to Tuesday So the 18th when we're done because if we get it we're buying these books and we're bringing them down ourselves. What do you do for Christmas?

Staying down here going up to Boston. Stay in here. I got nothing my wife's can't be gone. I'm in my house My wife's can be I'm gonna be so jealous. We come for Christmas dinner. Why is your wife leaving you? They're gonna count it. They're not leaving. Why can't you go? I don't want to go. You're not going to get in it?

Yeah, I can, but it's her family. I don't want to go. It could serve four hours in your work to have a head. I don't know how what he did during those times. I mean, can it? It's strict. You got a great point. Yeah, no, I never got, no, I got caught once with pot.

Then when, let me tell you one last time once you canada They go will you ever? They go will you arrested I go you know when I was 18 I was on the FBI list from when I was fucking 18 Why is there nothing recording on this place? Why is this turn record on why is this not working? Are you sure a people hearing I'm getting every fucking week week I get it's too low. It's too low It's too low Ever how am I getting deep whose sent me tight? It's supposed to be on 16th fucking it's not Anyways, we laughable calm. We have that. We're gonna plug that

Can I just give you cash No, I just hate signing up for shit and having to go through all that. Do you have PayPal? Yeah, I guess. You got PayPal. So just all you do is go to PayPal, go to that link on PayPal, right?

Go there on your PayPal app, YKWDGIFS. And you can just donate from your PayPal. Now you have to have a PayPal to donate. So it's easy. I made it as simple as I could. It's so fucking easy. You just go have a PayPal to donate. So it's it's easy. Okay. I made it as simple as I could. It's so fucking easy. You just go to PayPal and you donate. Rich is doing it. Yeah, please please if you donate, I'd be very happy. I Absolutely. I'll make sure I tell whatever sick kid get your gift. I'll show my picture Ricky dead Ricky did that. Lathable.com tell him. Go ahead.

You tell him go ahead laugh about time. You can see on your time already much in it up But all your favorite community is all your favorite podcast You do you think you're a mush because you have fucking face? I thought it was a hole on some please You got one fucking job and you fucked it up. Oh, it's not talking. Oh, what is it? Didn't write stuff down? Oh We'll get right into our let's get this thing going. I'm fucking busy. What you got tonight? I mean, going to my hotel later. Got radio in the morning. I gotta get ready mentally. Too close. Is that what the outfits for?

No, I just think it gets the treadmill at the hotel. You're right. Gotta get 10,000 steps in, son. Okay, you're skinny. You don't have to worry. You're, you know, a hotel. You're right. Gotta get 10,000 steps in, son. Okay. You're skinny, you don't have to worry. You're, you know, malnourished. You're in shape? Yeah, but the only way to stay in shape is to keep fucking on top of it.

I'm not eating those cookies. That's why I only ate half of one. You've been looking pudgy and the winter. Oh shit. What? You call them pudgy? Pudgy. That's worse than fat.

I'm not pudgy at all. Right now, a little bit winter. Hey, listen, first of all, these are the. I'm not pudge at all right now a little bit winter Working out to impress you Are you are you getting mad at them? He said I was in shame and then he goes punchy. I didn't know if you're talking about me. I'm bad. I'm not pudgy I'm bad. I'm pudgy. Yeah, we're past pudgy. No, you're big-bonded Bounded you're big-bonded. Bonded? You're dumb-ded. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Anyways, laughable.com, it's laugh, what's out, tell us about him, Michael. That's the top, uh, why you stink. Just spit it out, we gotta go. Why by night organization you have. We have a greeting, because this movie doesn't talk, if Gabby was here, if I had Becky doing fine, and white Mike, white Mike, go, what is it?

Leftful.com, it's the best app you can get on your iPhone to find out your favorite podcasts and comedians. You can search for comedians and see which podcasts they've been on, you can see their podcasts and. It's the best way to discover comedians on podcasts. Because Ricky, you, people see you on mine and then they'll go to yours and they'll go to all the other ones you've done right there and they manually do it. It's the best podcast app out there for comedians and discovered new comedians.

The laughable.com, get the app, the Android app is coming soon. First quarter, 2019. Yes. And, first quarter, and at patreon.com. That's Robert Kelly. Pass. I got it. And that's why you don't get ads. This is why you're not getting ads. I'm taking it. Yeah, but I'll take them back. I'm taking them all back. I'm going to take them back. I'm going to get a hundred dollars back for the toys. Look at you. What are you doing? What are you doing? I called him Pudgy man Yeah, I did it. Oh, it's a disrobing show. It's freezing in the suit

You're my god you and my wife have the same ass on your glasses, dude Why would you tell him not to step on it's because then we got to hear about his class No, we wouldn't we'd have to just see him squinting. Can I get it? Is that Caesar salad? So we got, yes, we got patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. I want to thank all the new members. I got a brand new one on one up their video that I shot in San Diego with Chappelle Aisi.

He's a young comic, young black kid, big kid. He was adopted by a white family, and he was a professional cheerleader. Fucking really interesting kid. Very funny, and it's up there now at patreon.com. And right now, Voss's, live from the shed is up there. One of the funniest episodes we did. And it's up there.

Well, he liked it. I don't know. Tell me a little more about it. Exactly, you won't compliment me. You need, you need a hug, do you want a hug, mate? I think this kid, uh, Chappelle, what's his last name? Lacey, I think he's gotta go with a new name.

Why? Cause this is the name, his first name is gonna throw everybody off. Chappelle, Chappelle, and then people are gonna go, oh, fuck. Yeah, I'm mad. I'm mad at him.

What do you think is she'll buy Lacey? Yeah. Well, he's got a very interesting, he's a very interesting kid. I just have the blind side, you cock-sack-a-sack. Well, yeah, this father was in jail, he had a abusive stepfather, and he wound up cheerleading professionally,

and he's just amazing. For what? Football team, I bet. He's a world champion cheerleader. I swear to God. His rods are better than other people's rods. Has what rods? What's a rods like the rods? A rods.

Yeah, rods. Rod, I know, but you made it fucking plural, rods. I don't think his rods, I don't think he does rods. He does professional cheerleading. Oh, like type in professional cheerleader first. Yeah, right there. Chappelle A.C. skill video, look, click on that. Look like type in professional cheerleader first. Yeah right there She pal Acy skill video look click on that. Oh, this is what this kid does. He's amazing Ready All right, can we skip through this shit, please?

All right, yeah, I like watch this stuff. Watch this look at this. What the fuck? I mean, dude, that's this kid's crazy Fuck I mean, dude, that's this kids crazy What they would what that's great this I know I Mean look at that. He's in the punk rock. I mean, he's here good comic. He was really good middle or host He was I would say host middle. Oh, he did 15 look at those. He's fucking ripped. Middle or host. He was, I would say host middle. Oh. He did 15. Look at those, he's fucking ripped.

Yeah dude. I mean look at this kid. Watch this. Dude, I mean he's unbelievably talented. World champion, the night he's going to the championship, his brother gets killed. I mean his life was fucking amazing. And here he is.

He's a positive guy, sweet guy. Maybe we should try to sell the story. I don't know, but he's I got. I mean, I fuck. I got a great fucking interview. Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. Go there now. We want to do some research.

Did he still go cheer or did he go go see his dead bro? No, he went and cheered. He went and won the championship. It was a fucking cheerleading rocky story with a polo creed type-esque tossing Huh polo creed died I mean not the beginning. I'm talking. I'm what we're talking about the positive parts rich Thanks, but send him some toys. I hate you Right that name down for the podcast. It's already been... It hasn't.

It was... I've been bossers on right? Yeah. Exactly. Anyways, this kid I didn't amazing. It's on my Patreon. I mean, it was a great start. I could have spent three hours talking.

It's good. Buddy was funny too. He was original. He actually talked about this stuff. Like, he talked about having an abusive stepfather. He wasn't up there just doing set up punch tag. You're literally talking about his stuff. Like he talked about having an abusive stepfather. He wasn't up there just doing set up punch tag. I literally talking about his life. When did his brother pass away recently? No, his brother passed away the night he was going for the championship. Oh, the night and he wound up winning. Where were you?

Are you listening? No. To the head of the hotel. Because one, no, I don't like the guest. I don't like you Why did you come? Because I got to kill time. I got a hotel And I heard there's free cookies With bacon there's no bacon in the cookies. I just know bacon. No one puts bacon in cookies I'll call I'm gonna call the lady who baked them. Yes Why was he put bacon in the She baked their cookies

I wish he put bacon in the cookies. She baked the cookies. They're baking. There's no bacon in fucking cookies. Chocolate chip bacon cookies, it's a thing. No, it isn't a thing. Please, white mic, bring it up. It's new mic. Oh, white mic, what is it?

Let's go with new mic. I say new mic. I say let's call him open mic. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's like, you can't beat him, you can't beat him, you just can't, he's like, just really loads. Yeah, chocolate chip right there, chocolate. Look at the ingredients. Yeah, bacon, chocolate chip cookies, they're right there and you can eat them. You see the bacon in the cookies?

You can see the bacon in these cookies, dummy. No, you can't. You haven't even looked. I did. I did. I did. What's the glasses on? There's no bacon in the cookies, dummy. No, you can't. You haven't even looked. I did. What's the glasses on? There's no bacon in the cookies, but it's nice that you find. There's bacon. Do you eat, as a Jew, do you eat bacon?

I know. Not as a Jew. I just don't eat red meat all together, but not for religious purposes. There you go. Right there, stupid. Let me show you. That's a piece of bacon. That's right there, bacon, dumb, dumb. Yeah, bite it.'s a piece of bacon. That's right there bacon dumb dumb

Yeah bite it take a piece of it. It's bacon What are you doing? What are you a fucking cookie investigator? He's Don't put the bacon on the floor Where's the piece that you pull off? Oh It's I swear to God. I'm I'm also just bring Max in. He totally begs just picking it up. He didn't even touch the floor, he did a fake thing. You've been shitting on me since you've been tacking me, I'm not doing the big fan, I'm your only one. Now when she Mike is on the floor picking up fucking bacon with his tongue.

Did you see the bacon? Can I have put the been the back of the thing? It's bacon. Stop putting it back in the bag. It's your piece of shit. Vos, it's what's wrong with you, dude? What's wrong with you? We all picked that. I throw it away. What's wrong with you? What are you? I'm having anxiety today. I couldn't sleep. I didn't fall asleep till 6.30 AM. Why? My friend called, good friend, comments.

I could get her to away. And she was like going through like some crisis. Your wife? No, a friend, I said. My wife goes through a crisis every day, and she wakes up, but this girl, and then I hung up and I'm going, holy fuck, I got more anxiety than she had what she called me

And I couldn't fucking sleep why what your wife is letting you take late night phone calls from female I first of all I was sleeping downstairs because I watched two movies last night So I see he doesn't sleep in his bed. What's your wife's up till six thirty? Yeah No, but she doesn't like him sleeping in the bed Well, I slept in the bed. I slept in a bed Monday and then I started snoring and she woke me up and I said, you know what? At a respect for her. I slept half the night and then I went downstairs to my dinner. She said, don't start rumors. You just said it. We started off together. Look, we have actually we have sex, but I'd rather be on my own and watch

TV late at night. Listen, you're, you're newly married, so you're into that. Hey, let's sleep together. But let me try your career. I've been married for 11 years. I love sleeping with my wife. I have your own bedroom. No, I'll get you. You have a full room. No, I'm trying to get a new place where I get my own bedroom. Yeah. Yeah. It's called the kid. It's called getting a divorce. No. No, what a happy one.

I thought she was going to Canada. Everything's great, but people hate it. No, it's not great. I listened to your podcast. It's great. Not everything is great. A lot is not great. Well, yeah, but I mean everything besides that stuff.

I mean, everything. That's marriage. But no, it's not. We watch movies together in bed. We fool around. We eat our snacks together. What do you snacks? Please tell people what you dump snacks.

You have snacks when you watch a movie, don't you? I don't have a TV in my bedroom, or nor do we eat anything in the bedroom. There's no food in the bedroom. I eat it in the bedroom. But I have a, you have an apartment in New York City. Yeah, yeah. So yes, okay, when you have an apartment in New York City. So, yes. Okay, when you have an apartment in New York City, you have two room houses.

No, yes. We have a apartment. He can go into his living room. He's smart. You lay in bed, you watch your movie with your wife, and you have your snack. What's your snack? Well, don't really snack or do later snack. I can't stand him.

Don't really snack. It's bacon. I'm glad that I can try. I can grab this sit here and talk about have Mike do laughable commercials for an hour. Well you ask me the first snack might be a light kind bar. Then we might have sex and then a later snack might be like some olives and hummus on a plate. My wife said, in bed you have hummus?

Well hummus doesn't get, you don't get crumbs from hummus. We're not smearing it on the bed. We get it in our mouth. What do you get in your mouth with? What are you using to get in your mouth? What do you mean? What are you using to get the hummus in your mouth? I'm a Oliver pickle. I thought you get crumbs out of this. Did you know you use chips? No, no body Well, Bonnie doesn't eat what do you call it? What's the stuff? Gluten. So they're gluten-free and gluten-free, barely crumb.

And we eat over plates, we're not fucking, you know, we're human. So you sit in bed and you eat. And it doesn't matter, you mature as crumbs in bed, I'm going downstairs anyhow. So what's the secret to deal with? Yeah, I mean, at least one crumbs leaving the bed. Who rang the bell?

Who was that? Anyways, I just, I don't, I love sleeping in my bed. I have a big, huge bed. Five inch pillow top. It's, I mean, it's a, what's a pillow top? You put it over it. No, it's on, so there's the mattress that's like really big and then on top of that they put like a

I've a cooling one. It's like you know the hotel beds? Yeah, that's what I got. I think I have a cooling one. It's like cool the mat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. I have a Terri cloth. I like Terri cloth.

I got a towel. Yeah, they're fucking great. They make it's the whole it's a whole big difference And I don't care how nice your bed is once you put one of those fucking tops on it I didn't put it on it came up with the bed. Yeah, the one that comes with it is not as good as the one that's connected When they come to with it as you get a mattress with it, it's better. Yes. Yeah, well the ones in hotel are the best Yeah, that's like I got a hotel bed match. Yeah, they're very expensive But but the one I got you bought separate. It's like 500 fucking dollars, but it's so good. It was worth it

Yeah, no, they worked it. Yeah, I know, but I love sleeping in my I love sleeping in my bed with my wife I would if my wife is like not me Like my own room I because I snore. I don't wanna wake her up and fuck her sleep. I come in late, I had- I stride anything, like like, yeah, it was everything, yeah, really. I fucking that mask, you can't breathe, it drives your face out.

Then I tried, I want you to, a thousand dollars to get this thing, the fucking, then you lock your mouth up, and you're like, you start to panic, because you're all locked in. Then I got some other ones that you put in, but I keep spitting them out in the middle of them.

Right? You know, I fucking, whatever. If I sleep on my stomach, I don't snore. Once I sleep on my back, I snore. I don't know why that is. Who knows? You might know. I don't know.

I mean, who's Jeremy Howard Joyle? That's your Patreon shout out. Oh, oh, we got a new one. Yeah. Oh, I forgot about this. Yeah, we got a brand new, I want to give a shout out to Patreon, members that do $25 a more.

Oh, that's nice. And we actually have a ton of them, which I'm excited about. Jeremy Howard Joyle, I want to thank you, buddy. Thanks for joining the Patreon. I hope you like all the life from the Sheds getting the YKWD early Bivereverite, the audio YKWD in case you don't want to watch the video.

And the new one that just went up. We got a new life from the Shed coming up this week. Next week I believe with David Bryan from Bon Jovi. Came up to my shed and we hung out. He's so cool that guy. He's the best. I talked to him for like an hour one night It's so cool all the info and he went he came to down to Uncle Uncle Vinnie's to the shore What him and his wife's there? That's where he lives. He came down

We hung out and then went to the cigar bar and asked, what's that fucking town? Asperger Park cigar bar until three in the morning, just fucking hanging out. He didn't, he doesn't smoke, because it was voice, but we sat there and smoked bats, him and his wife. You know, Steve, you know, if you sat around with whoever, and they were asking you a thousand questions about comedy, you'd be like, all right, then enough ready. You could ask him anything about music

and he loves talking about it. He loves fucking, like, I mean, he's been with everybody. He knows everybody, he's in Bon Jovi. So, you know, but here's a thing too. Him and his wife, it's like hanging out with just regular fucking Jersey beer, except he's worth $10,000,000, you know what I000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,, I was gonna say, if I sleep, if I can sleep in Gabby's room. Cause I wanted to Instagram from Gabby's room,

listen, like, make it in her childhood bed. Just do an Instagram's like her, hey guys. Tomorrow, you know, she said, Is that her parents? That's her parents, yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh, that's crazy.

I'm not out now, she, you know. Oh, I didn't know. I had no clue. That's not the law. Louis Gomez dragged her out of the closet one day. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm not out no she you know, I know Lewis Lewis Gomez dragged her out of the closet one day What do you mean about her parents? We never really said anything? Oh? Cuz I know she doesn't use her pants. No, she don't know I know no, no, no, no, no, not at all. She's the sweetest kid ever. She's a really good kid and she's really talented She edited the last she edited your episode alive episode of Life from the Shed and she filmed it. So very funny. I'm surprised you didn't spit on me. So thank you there Jeremy Howard Joyle. I appreciate

that. Anyways, give away the thing I bought in. All right, we have these. We're going to give these away. What are they? They're big. Take them out, pajamas. I did this thing last week. What are you, Mike? What are they? I don't know. I didn't really look at them, but I think they have a curse

word on them. I did dinner with four porn stars last week on Amazon. It says, remove the fuck from the front. And what are they? They're sweatpants, right? i did dinner with four porn stars last week on amazon removed to fuck on the front and there what are they their sweatpants right now yeah the sweatpants it says removed to fuck and uh... they're exiles

you know what actually just donate them to the kids and i bring them down they're going in the pocket bring them down to the kids how do you want to give these to? I don't know. Who wants to give them to a caller? When your callers would want them from from dinner with Dan Dan Yell or whatever. You know on Amazon.

917-2616831 is the line. I don't know if it's on. Is it on Zach? It'll go to this guy. All right. We'll have somebody email Bobby. Whoever wants him to this guy. Alright, whatever. Somebody email Bobby, whoever wants him to. Yeah, email me. Uh, what is it? YKW, YKWD producer at the broadcast.

He can't get out the fucking. What's wrong? Are you on dope? I'm tired today. Are you okay? What happened? I'm just really exhausted. From what?

Walking up the stairs. Next to him. Just time's been sleeping well. Why have you been sitting when you're white? Oh, you're divorced. Yeah, but why haven't you been sleeping well? I'm fat. Is it because you're fat? Yeah, but the last day I got the travel a lot. My flight got rear-range, so. How old are you? I'm 40. 40? What are you doing exercise? Are you working out at all? Not currently.

Yeah. I went back to the gym and I went back to boxing. Does it feel good? Boxing is fucking great. How many times a week you're doing that? Boxing one time a week right now and the gym too. What do you mean by boxing? You have somebody a trainer or you just,

I go to, no, I go to Arzlee. I think I'm getting, I think I'm dying. I can't remember anything don't make promises you can't What do you mean you go boxing like to teach you title title boxing in arts Lee? Yeah title boxing club arts Lee It's great. No, you walk in to do that. It's like a class So they have the guy who taught today is he's a real, he just fought in Long Island at the Paramount last week and won. He's a real fucking legit boxer. He's a professional boxer and he teaches a class. And it's a lot of, you know, you warm up for around five minutes and then you do, uh, you do, you do rounds. You do rounds. You fight people? No, you don't fight people. Why not? Because we're not fighters, it's me and fucking a bunch of milfs.

Yeah, but you're fucking... No! Fucking one of those, oh no. Fucking punch some middle-aged Jewish lady in the gut. Fucking she starts it. It's gonna help. Leave me! See, I have, you know what?

I started stretching again too, like, because remember, like you're probably still loose. Like, you're not loose your legs aren't that loose? No, not at all. I play it so hard. But you could get loose easier then. Yeah, I need to start doing something. So I started stretching again and let me tell you something.

You don't know how fucking tight you are until you lay down and spread your legs out or try to bend down. Fucking, you know, you got, it's just, I'm very limber for a chubby guy. You just saw that on Patreon. I would watch you stretch for the rest of it. Huh? I'm not kidding.

I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. We don't even do our Patreon anymore. We're done. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just bored.

Here's the thing. We do a podcast, my wife and I. We do it in our dining room, just us too. We've done over 340 of them. Enough with it. We don't need the extra five or six hundred a thousand of them. You know what I mean? It's not worth it.

It's a thousand of them. Yeah, I could use it. But for the kids. A thousand a month is your insurance almost. No, it isn't. It's half. It's half. Yeah, but I'm just saying, look at me I I got enough on my plate to worry about another thing

That's what do you have to worry about just doing another podcast getting it up? Oh, you do you were doing two yeah, we're doing two podcast I know and we don't have all this we just being her in the fucking dining room. You can use the studio anytime You want that's even more driving in an hour and parking. Listen, when we came in and did use the studio, and I guess it was a lot of fun. I think you showed me. I think you showed, you had a lot of dimensions to your show

if you did it in the studio and had a producer. No, but that's only once a month. What do you call it? Arbrick. Arbrick, Arbrang is me and her. Just me and her. Yeah, I know. are, what do you call it? Sounds like a lot excuses. Arbrame, Arbrame is me and her, just me and her. Yeah, I know. Her last podcast, she was so fucking fine. I wrote her, remember when you said,

have a list of stuff in case you die? So I wrote a bunch of stuff, the electric bill, the mortgage, which paid where the money's at and everything. Then I got into detail. Oh look, I got into detail. I'm in the money stuff. Let me explain why.

Why? Because I have a secret. Here's what I was going to tell you. Oh, it's sad to see. Here's what happens. Three paces out the bad door. Yeah. I'm still going to go to the tree with an ex in it. I have 1500 buried at the laugh cut in Louisiana in the back room under the couch. Listen, because you know, my stepdad just passed away.

You don't understand when it happens quick, if it happens quick. I haven't with my mom in that way. It was really crazy. Yeah. You don't know the password to his iPhone. You don't know, there's a lot of stuff that you didn't know how to do. And usually in a relationship, like my wife does a lot, I make the money,

she does the money, you know, she does the organization. You know, so lately I've been trying to learn a little bit about, let me learn about the bank, let me get the numbers, let me get all this stuff, because I don't wanna have to fucking deal with this shit. God forbid a fucking, she gets hit by a bus,

and it's just me and Max, I mean terrible, but I wouldn't know how to do shit, and I was talking to Voss about it, and I thought Bonnie was the one, but it's actually Voss, pays all the bills. I paid it here,

so Bonnie and I have a business together. Bonnie's the talent, and he's the bills. I paid it here's to deal. Bonnie and I have a business. Bonnie's the talent and he's the manager. Yes. Yeah. Bonnie had, we have our own, but you know, the car, the car deeds, you know, because the bill is sales for the cars, because all my cars are paid off, you know, the mortgage. So I left all that.

And then I even got more into debt. I go, debt, I said, you know, my stamp collection, Debt, more into debt, I said, my stamp collection, give to my daughter when she gets older. There is no way you wrote that down. No one's gonna be running for that. Well, you kidding me? Now it's already 25 years old,

with older fucking stamps. So by the time I daughter gets older, these are gonna be worth a lot of money. Debt, I got stamps. Well, I hope the day you died, and you daughter lick them to give you something I hope they lick them and send Invitations to you wake to a lot of people. I say I left you something. What'd you leave me? I told Bonnie I told Bonnie to give you I have two I'll probably give him to you before I die

I got two do-pon lighters 500 a piece I said give one get in the race who does the rings go to And with me and then fucking like kids my kids. What are you King touch? Why are you gonna take down a ring? Why are you gonna take time to bring you fucking idiots? My king's done it. I said give you and Bennington each a two-pong lighter. All right, which one do I get though? They're both the exactly the same.

All right, no, why can't I buy one now? Do you want to buy it for me? Yes. All right, how much? 200. All right, bring it in. All right, but I have under it. But no!

They cost 500, I'll give it to you for 200 I it has to have a ding though. Just wait him out You're gonna pay I know I got a waiting here I'm getting a fucking body was upset that you were writing this I'm sure this is right out of the slush and then I said look any Nike I go I'm not thinking thank you any Nike sneakers I have in boxes. Yeah, are worth to the kids To bring these to the Beth Israel I know there are size 10, but you know what they can make stuff out of them like boats

Go at the fuck that part about my mom was and you said like you didn't know the password to your iPhone Invest that dude. You don't want that you don't want people to be able to go through your whole every conversation You've ever had you don't want your wife going through that. I went to do this stuff on her computer You just leave her the info like you know Bank of America's where our more you just that's where you go It's a need to go to my computer. Yeah I think if you have if you have a cell phone and it's locked and then she can't get into it. Why would you be getting into my cell phone?

She's got a wrong cell phone. Because listen. I agree with Rich on this. I understand you agree with that, but I have a lot of photos on my phone and me and my wife and my kid that I would want. And you can have my phone. You can look at my phone, look at everything on my phone. I leave my phone open. My wife can have my phone you can look at my phone looking everything on my phone

There you can I leave my phone open my wife can take my phone for a week and use it. Yes, I mean My computer in the office now she's gonna stay away from that you burn that listen to me Oh, I'm to my house You shit this and burn it. I want to make it. I want to make it black one. It's a mac air fucking smash it After my mom died I want to app that goes to that apple watch right and when your pulse dies it deletes everything on your phone But photos that you want to keep kill switch. Yeah, I called the death wish Was your brother was your mother?

He yeah, and to your original dad. Yeah, so he's still alive. Yeah. So you don't talk to him at all, man. He turned. He turned after, he like, he turned, he turned after she passed. He lost his mind, yeah. What did he talk to me about that? What happened? Ah, never really.

Uh, my mom passed and my dad, he met her when he was 16 and he went back to those ways. Like it was really crazy. What ways, what do you mean? Dog, he was dating within two months and he stopped fucking with his kids and he threw, like, my, I was on crazy. What ways, what do you mean? Like, dog, he was dating within two months and he stopped fucking with his kids and he threw, like, I was on the family plant plan like on my phone with my mom

and like he knocked that so I lost all the voice mills I ever had of my mom, like I lost every, like it was fucked up and then he started dating and he wouldn't take no for an answer when like he turned to my brother and he got, and he kicked my younger brother out the house so I had to find a place for my younger brother it was crazy bro it was fucking not what's he just doing that cuz you know my best brand had to make a lot of the main that artery in her heart exploded and that was that

so I had no heart problems not the man it was crazy just a black widow typed in yeah that's what they called the yeah. How old was she? 53. Yeah, man, it was fucking, it was on Valentine's Day too. Wow, that was crazy. It was pretty soon. That was a couple of years ago.

Yeah, no, three years, it's about to be three years. Yeah, it's wild. So, that's what is crazy about when somebody goes quick, you know what I mean? It would do it. I claim I have PTSD from it. I'm not, yeah, I've been knighting the hospital and all that shit going on and everybody being there

and me and my brothers were out together, we're never out together. I'm always working on like a Saturday or Friday or a Valentine's Day. That's a great day to work. And I like, I just, it was somebody's birthday. We were celebrating, we were out. And my brother got a phone call while we were all

standing in a club. It was fucking crazy. Jesus Christ, I'm at Uncle Vinnie's found time say I'm literally about to cry And you're a piece He's the biggest hunky shit I've ever met. I got to tell you as my fans. Please look at me I need to close up on me. He's a piece of shit. I'm literally In this fucking guy, he's a hunk of shit,

he's going to hell, there's no way around it. He should sleep alone, he should be alone. You should die alone, you should die alone. Who dies together? I'm like, hey Frank, you wouldn't have the right of letter. No, you know, so weird, because my mom, we knew she was gonna die. She was in hospital for five years with Alzheimer's, dementia, you know what we're cuz my mom we knew she was gonna die she was in hospital for five years with all

summers dementia you know it dementia but i have my mom out of comedy club that two weeks before i was in real yeah and it was like it was the same year i was on nightly in the rest of that so like life was fucking awesome life was flying man along with your dad before she died right no so what happened was pretty much me and my dad got to a place where when my girl moved from el to New York, she was like, what do you need to move out of that house? It's getting that bad. And it was an hour and a half out in Queens.

It's by JFK. It's like a shit fucking neighborhood. And I used to travel back and forth doing comedy. He fucking hated it. I moved in with my girl within a year. I had booked variety top 10 fucking the nightly show, Master of Nunt. So like everything was dope. And that's when my dad decided to be my best friend.

And he showed up to JFL. Like he just like, and then- To module? Yeah. And fucking, it was like everything was perfect in life. And then mom died and it was like, it just went back to where we were. And like, there hasn't been a good conversation ever.

Did you ever fucking flip out at him? Well, I flipped out, but I've got him to the point now where I have now offered because he's big dude too. So if me and him get into it, he'll put his hands on me. No problem. He's a big fucking dude. And I'm at a place where I'm like, hey, if you want to do this, we need to sit down

with a professional. I'll pay for it. I'll do this. And he won't take that arm and I can't go ahead. You know what the good thing is? I'm gonna tell you something. I was never close to my pants, but it's gonna bring you closer. And I'll close to your girlfriend. No, it's gonna bring you closer with your kids.

You'll be a... My kid has just been like, and I've been saying this. It's really weird because when I did stand up, I did a lot of it for my mom before she passed. Like, she loved me fucking doing stand up And I will for like two years and you guys saw me around those years. I was pretty out of it I was doing some shit. I was like crazy and Since I'm a my kid I feel like I have purpose again. So that's like really fucking. Yeah, I'm telling you

I felt like I was wandering for two years man like not knowing what I was doing You'll see the difference like my parents had like really no pictures of me growing up. I probably have 2,000 of my kids. You know what I mean? You'll get, you just, you break the chain of dysfunction. That's what you do in life. You break the chain of dysfunction. Well, his mother was great, though.

Yeah, my mom was, my mom was unreal. You can listen, I understand what you're saying, though. You are, you're gonna be a good parent, but you gotta understand that he's gonna be a good parent because of his mom. Yeah. Yeah. When his mom gave him his inside of him,

he's not gonna be a good parent in spite of his shit dad. No, no, I know, I know. I can't wait to see it. No, but I can't wait to see it. I can't think it fuels it a bit. Like when you see something you saw your dad doing, you're like, I can't make it. Yeah, but can I tell you something,

more of what my stepfather, I'm realizing this in the last couple of years, and before he passed away, more of what he gave me, my, you know, of being a dad, that I didn't even know he gave me, you know. It just happens. And all of a sudden, you're like,

how did I not do that? Or why did I do that? Or why? And it's because of the stuff that when growing up with Larry and my five uncles, I have to say they were father figures too. They gave me your head five brothers. Five brothers. So you have that stuff in you.

All the good stuff you got comes out. I didn't get any of that. Well, you're not a good dad. I'm a great dad. I'm called my other daughters right now. I can't believe it. It was a joke. Do I have to defend my jokes for you?

No, but that's, I would never say you're not a good dad. I am, but I'm kidding. I know we all know you're a good dad because you tell us constantly what a great dad is. I'm a great dad. Yeah. Would you get a forgiveness? I didn't know you were a dad forever.

I didn't know you were a dad for a long time. It was really wild. What do you mean? I just didn't know about max up until like two years ago. Really? Yeah. All right. Kept them on the covers for a while, huh?

Not really. No, I was very, I'm very, I love being a dad. Yeah. Oh, I love it. I fucking love being a dad. And it was a lot. I understand what you're saying. The bad stuff, I don't hit my kid and I try not to yell.

Sometimes you have to because he's gonna die. You know, he's gonna fall off something. You have to. I yell all the time. I don't yell. I don't like to yell because I, it's easy for me to yell. Yelling is my thing. Oh, I know.

The fuck does that make me take it out on him? Past episode, maybe. Yeah. I'm working on a cocksack. But Max, you don't do that with Max. Your tone will change. Yeah. But you don't, yeah, it's really,

yeah, because you're in a doubt, you shouldn't, you should have common sense, not fucking be a moron. Here's what I want to know. Here's what I want to know. Hang on one second, motherfucker, no. I'm not a cocksack. Fuck an abused fucking victim.

Fuck it. Fuck it. Here fucking victim. Fuckin' good. Here's what I wanna, does he do anything here? What is he do? This fucking melon head. What is he do? Which one? The big one right there. Oh, thank you, fucking man.

No, he does stuff. I don't know, I don't see him doing anything. Whatever he sits there, whatever we need, whatever. He's a computer guy. Buddy, you gonna see him? He brings stuff up. He brought up sneaker, he brought up everything. He guy buddy. You gonna say and he brings stuff up He brought up sneaker. He brought up everything he brought it as we go. He brings stuff up Oh, yeah, we're just we're in deep we're in a deep conversation right now. I don't need him right now. Okay, right?

So there's the problem with you I just don't know You need fucking about top of everything you need tinfoil in front of you. You have OCD All right, we're talking about this amazing conversation with Ricky and about being a dad and his father and about his mom about people passing and then you go What does he do who gives a fuck? Why would you look at his head and wonder what the fuck he's doing because this is too intense for me Okay, that I will accept It okay that I will accept I could be something no that's uncomfortable look his arms across absolutely He gets he has no you do you have a problem he doesn't like the hug. He's he as a fan you

Dude you don't like the hug your own wife. I don't I hug my kids all the time I hug him You have a problem with emotion and connecting intimacy. Thank you You have a problem with emotion and connecting intimacy. Thank you No, you don't like that's why you're a comic you do not like to be intimate You don't you don't like to have a conversation like this I know my wife one one time she was in pain and crying and in pain I mean this mental Okay, and I was laying in bed and what's the thing that you used to put in your phone? What do they call them that you styllus and I run my stylus on her?

Oh, she's just waiting for your kid to turn 18 She's waiting for that stamp collection, man. She fucking wants you dead. Man. She's dead. I hope she's using this. I hope she's using this. I see her.

She's always smiling. She's doing a good fucking job, man. I'm telling you, Ricky. I hope she's using the stamp to send love letters to a some Canadian actor. I bet I'd be you, Ricky. I hope she's using the stamp to send love letters to a some Canadian actor. Ha ha ha ha. Better not be using note stamps. There was money.

Ah, stamp collection. What are you, Superman? Who are you? Who fucking is a stamp collection? Are you sure? I like it. I used to love my stamps. I got some cool stamps.

I'll bring them, man. How do you, did you do that as a kid? No, I started after my basketball collection Like best ball cards. So how old were you during your basketball collection? 25 are you sober? Yeah, okay. I'd be great. You're just doing crazy much your most expensive I wouldn't be spending money on stamps if I was doing pay hey, I got an air upside down airplane Give me five grand It's worth three hundred thousand dollars. I got I got a letter

I got a letter from I forget what president it's written down at home I'm gonna Listen I've been on the stamps. No, listen to this. I said, yes, you fucked up. I got a letter. I got a letter with the president. With the president stamp on it.

Jefferson. With the president stamp. You know how do you stamp it with a seal? Yeah, seal. Yeah, we know. It's not a famous president, but I have one from a president. It's a president. I have it on the president.

They're all famous. You idiots. They're not all famous. Name, what's the president? I said, I don't know. I'll bring all present. They're all present. They're all famous. You idiot. They're not all famous. Name what's the president? I said I don't know I'll bring it in. How do you not know? I don't remember Why is he writing you? My father had my father had it from some reason. Oh, okay, and he gave it to me. I got some cool shit. I got a Don't famous all presents. How many presents there 50 how many 50 People are famous for all presents. How many presents, how many 55?

45. 45, okay, so 45, there's only 45 presidents in the history of presidents, they're all famous. They're all famous. No, no they are. They're all famous because you can bring up the presidents, look at them all. All right, scroll down, which was in any of those.

Say what are the middle ones going to take? No, it's like old. Okay, so how old? That's probably worth a while. Well, you're 70, 60, 61. No, it's from my five. I'm going to bring in some cool stuff for you to look. Grover Cleveland?

I feel like it was one of my Cleveland. William McKinley? There's somebody like that. Chester A. author. It was like hard. The first one was actually Abraham Lincoln. There's some guy that fucked it, it's actually Abraham Lincoln. Some guy, some guy that fucked it up for every bottle of Lincoln.

Look at you. Look at James Buchanan. Is he your name? Anybody knows who the fuck he is? What was it? Buchanan, sorry. Look at the way him. Where's the, uh, I said Buchanan. You can't, are you fucking idiot? Don't, you can't hit me twice with the same joke.

Here, do you hit it? Yeah, here, he got the juice off of it. Okay, sorry. All right. I'm sorry. He hit me. He was quicker than you. You stole his joke in front of us on the air.

He was quicker. So first on his quicker. He got it. He got me. I said, what I say, butchajan. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, what I say, butchajanen. I made a, I made a medallion. I love it. Butchajan. James butchajanen.

That's not fucking idiot. Anyways. No one knows Ruther B. Hayes. Yeah, they do. He was one of the presidents. There's a lot of people that can name all the presidents. It's a fact. I bet you are president can't name all the presidents.

Of course not. Of course not. I don't think Obama could either. Yeah there's people I'm not saying the president's Scholars scholars. Yeah, I think I think how old your kid now? Three months today, man 9 11 wow Crazy crazy. It's wild. Yeah, now he like sees us and knows us. It us tight. Yeah, I always say that men It takes a while from end to bond with it. It took me and we had a nurse there for the first month Yeah, so like I was really not needed. Yeah, you're not needed, but you want a boy, right? Yeah, yeah

So I do just so lucky did and every comic this summer how to girl down at the fucking cellar So I was so afraid I was gonna get whoo. Let me tell you I have a son Dove Siphon um, Lenny Berg like that's four right there. That's an ironberg that Berg has a girl. Yeah I was I did not have family does make girls having a son is so much it for you. No beef as a dude It's so much cooler. I'm just buying toys already. I want to play with no I remember we were in Belgium and we were walking around

and he was just like, yeah, let's go for a walk. And I was like, oh, and we just walked and hung out. We went to a museum. We walked around. We were fucking being goofballs in the museum. And you know, if it was a daughter, she'd be like, let's go look at these flowers for an hour. No, I suppose you had three daughters.

My old Joe's, I took him to Tahoe. You fucking throw your bone, gender suppose I had three daughters. My old jurors, I took them to Tahoe. We were not speedboat. We were not on the speedboat. I didn't hear what he said. We went on speedboats in fucking, we're here for your drug deals. Yeah, in Tahoe. Bobby's talking about going through Belgium, seeing museums. We did speedboats. I took my old home. I took my, I took my leg placid. I took my leg bones. Let's see you with Tommy Lee. Let's see you Humps. I took my old home. I took my, I took my, I took my leg placid. I took my leg balls. Let's see you folly Lee. Listen, you hums. I took the other one to Amsterdam. I took the 11 year old to Amsterdam. Well, she was about six at the time. I took her to Amsterdam. I've taken my kids all over the place. I just traveled with my kid for the first time.

Yeah. How I'd do people look at you like a fucking asshole with a child. Just a headliner gay man when you bring in the baby. That's funny. You said joke three times last week. I was here last week. I love Voss's excuse that he knows he used it before. He goes, I wasn't here last week. I knew it. You should maybe have wanted to go.

You were here last week. Would you take your kid? You were literally on the show last week, yeah. We did the show and he went there. How can we then come up with this guy that was up here? I got asked not to and I think it was the better reason. Well, are you French with him or not? No, no.

You're not French with him? It's just, it was just good. And can we stop for a second? Because whilst I was this, he just bring shit up. Nobody, like, if someone didn't see last week's show, never get it back up to their head. Fuck it. Well, here's a deal.

What's his name? I don't, I don't want him to give it to him. What's his name? I know I'm a few. Alan, why would you not, I'm gonna get it back. I don't get it back. Well here's a deal. What's his name? I don't even give it to him. What's his name? I know Alan Fuchs. Alan, why would you not, I'm gonna get it. What do you think? I'm just gonna listen to you. I'm just gonna listen to you.

He didn't want to say, he's gonna not listen, man. You guys want to get back in a controversial. Absolutely. So Alan Fuchs came up last. We were gonna have Ricky and Alan, cause it gets Ricky and Tim Dylan with Traction and whatever. We brought him up last week. We tried to cancel, cause you were here, Billy were here. Ricky and Alan because they guess Ricky and Tim Dylan with triation and whatever.

We brought him up last week. We tried to cancel because you were here, Billy were here. It's just, it was just uncomfortable. It was, and he showed up before we came to that. I just think his cancer. Me and him at a full conversation were okay with one another and then he's still pressed coming on contacting fucking producers Bobby and the rest of it. It's just like dude, like let it rest, but whatever.

Yeah. I mean, I just remember him, like let it rest, but whatever. Yeah. I mean, I just remember him, I mean, literally, telling this great Patrye story and then him going, I got one too. Oh, I have the ability to kind of fuck, I know. And it was like one of the greatest stories of Patrye. I was like, that was so, we all laughed. It was a moment.

And just the guy, I see you next week. And he goes, I got one. I go, I got one. I really said, you're gonna have to bring him back onto defend himself. I know what I'm fucking. You're You're gonna have to bring them back onto defend themselves. I know, I'll fucking grab them back. I have to come defend my story, that was that. I told them I go, you're gonna follow a potry story?

From, really? He goes, I'm Billy. He goes, he goes, he goes, Billy told it? Yeah, it was like a deal. I said, you're gonna do this? He goes, I'm gonna try. I think I might make it. At the end of it, we were like this. Oh. ¿Qué te va a hacer? Yo voy a hacer, yo creo que me va a hacer. En el momento de que se vuelve a hacer esto.

Yo lo quiero dar una pinta de la pinta de la pinta. No pinta de la pinta de la pinta. Hay tres pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta de la pinta con volotea, la región de Murcia disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. ¿Cómo se lo hace en el trabajo? ¿Dónde lo puedo hacer con este tipo? ¿Tienes que verlo? ¿Tensas un testo para ADHD o algo? O algo de autismo. ¿Tienes que verlo? ¿Tienes que verlo?

¿Tienes que verlo? ¿Tienes que verlo? ¿Tienes todo? ¿Tienes autismo? No, no tengo autismo. ¿Tienes que verlo? I Do you have it have everything? Your vatism no, I don't have Are you sure? No? I don't have autism. No, he's not a tis I have got to that age where you just don't give a fuck Yeah, you're right. Why do I give a fuck? I have nothing left to prove in law for this all this I have nothing left to prove I said to my friend why don't why do you think that you don't have anything to prove it be awesome to well by way in comedy because I've done enough in comedy where I put my where I and so I see I left my mark

I mean you're putting the ceiling on your own career no no but I'm not saying I'm stopping I'm just saying I have nothing to prove I'm still trying to create but I I don't have to. Those rings can be bigger. I'm getting a bracelet next. I hope we get robbed. I really do outside. I'm not insured. Yeah. Are they really? Yeah, of course.

Man, it's jewelry. Fucking cat away jewelry. Yeah, okay. I have a brightling and it's in the house and I only take it out when I have it. Why do you wear a brightling? You look good on it. I love my brightling.

You look good on you, I mean. I don't, I wear it on occasions. It's not insured. It's in the house and I only take it out when I Why don't you wear a brand you look good on it. I love my brother look good on you I mean, I don't I don't I wear it on occasions. It's not in shirt. It's not yeah, you should do it It's like 25 bucks on your home insurance Yeah, you just don't make your home insurance your home insurance You're your homeowner My wife swings everything is in shirt. You stamp collection Whoa Somebody's making a call tomorrow Everything is insured. Your stamp collection? Whoa. Somebody's making a call tomorrow. Selective.

I don't know. One of my baseball cards on basketball cards on insured either. That stuff didn't get burnt in the fire? No, they were in a safe. Oh, so the safe was fireproof? Yeah. The house is completely burnt, but you're standing there. Now they were in a safe. Oh, so the safe was fireproof? The house is completely burned, but you're standing there. No, no, also too. The fire was really It's more our house and burned down. It was smoke damage only one wall burnt up But the whole house got smoke damage and water damage. Oh, okay. It didn't burn down

It's just one wall on the outside But the whole place upstairs was wrecked from smoke damage and then down, so they fucking, let me tell you, after the water came downstairs, within a week the couch was full of mold. And one fucking week, it just fucking molded up. So it was more water and smoke damage. But I have trunks with all my papers in it and saves trunks. You know a trunk a trunk

No, I don't know what a trunk Look at the end of your nose a trunk. I have a very cute nose a trunk. How would you fuck? Oh, cuz I'm gonna I Was a great one I don't like that I had to explain my own my own fucking fat joke to myself Okay Okay, that's what I do. That's what it does. Those aren't fireproof. Are that? I have a metal one. Oh, okay. I get like one of these. No.

Well, for when you go on tour, yeah, I know. On his fucking, on his steam boats. I'm working the Vaudeville clubs with my kid behind me, staying behind the stage. We used to do gigs that we had to stay. Like, I did a gig once in Lubbock and our rooms were behind the stage and locked in the club at night pretty much. What? Yes. When I first started, I was working and you stayed in these fights. Why are you shaking

your head? Oh, the looney bin in Kansas is like that too like what like what he's describing look Tell me what like what like there's a you stay behind the comedy club and you can't leave because it's the security systems on and we'll go off That's illegal that's I Did a club that's illegal like you can't like if if you need to go You have to go if there's a what if something happened you have to leave fire you can't like if if you need to go you have to go if there's a what if something happens? You have to leave fire you can leave, but I mean no I did a club the Anne Franks of Staying at a club once and it was like one

Entrance in there was no windows in the condo So if there was a fire in that entrance you would and I worked me and tuck it once Did you ever work a place like the nicest place in the world? Where'd you sleep there? What do you mean? This was years ago, nantucket We don't know when they discovered the island. Oh, yeah, no. This was when they discovered the island of Nantucket.

I once he wrote the song that once was a man from Nantucket. I if he had a dick, he would suck it. I worked a club called The Muse. It was a rock club. So rock bands would stay in there. But the bunks, it looked like Auschwitz, because there were just wooden bunks. Look like what's it? Auschw looked like Auschwitz, because there were just wooden bunks. Look like, what's it?

Auschwitz. Auschwitz? Yeah, that's the name of it. Is that, I thought it was, is it pronounced differently than that? I think. Okay. Say it again?

No. But you're a Jew, you know how it's supposed to pronounced. Yeah, so no Mike, is it pronounced like that? You ready They know that's a weird that's a weird commercial for the pronunciation of McDonald's Ready is brought to you by pronounced names dot com here we go ready How shwits how shwits how shwits?

Oh not off switch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, not off switch. What did you say? Oh, you said I have one on your fucking neck I tell us about your fucking club. We're gonna move on. So we stayed in, we did this club in, this is like talking to my grandfather. In the fucking Nantucket or one of the walkthroughs, one of those places. And it was, you stayed, it was a rock club yeah I worked there with I think Dennis Lear and some other really yeah it was years and years Wow Dennis wasn't even it was doing sports comedy oh shit he sat on the charity

talked about sports yeah this is probably his first year maybe my second year when there was a multi-millionaire living in Bedford now yeah I live 20 minutes away from being a mansion next door. Martha's just doing it and you're fucking here with me. Okay, I'm happy. Oh good. You made your mark. Me and you.

There's nothing to prove. I have nothing to say very clearly. I'm not gonna. You know what though? You really doubt boss. Yeah. You've done, there's so many, if you statistically look at the guys that have been doing comedy with him and as long as him

They're gone. They're done. Oh, he's and they're not doing it inconsistent But he's consistent, but he's still one of the and I'm not saying this because I know what you know a lot of Shows have him on a fucker and then say but he's funny Literally one I've never seen somebody kill like boss kills after anybody. I mean just it's a fact You fucking murder. I mean murder. I it's a fact, you fucking murder. I mean, I don't wanna fall this, I'll fall fucking anybody. And I fucking hate falling this.

I mean, I've done it a bunch of times, but, and he'll fall on me too. So it's, he's, I mean, right now fucking murderin'. Thank you, I listen, it just sucks that what they're looking for right now is not exactly is not like we got some good projects gone But let me tell you Bonnie does not you Let me show you really into body body on fire. She's on fire. They love They're still here tonight. So again. Yeah, she calm me central. You know, it's so

I love They love it and last week we not least, we made the... Did we make this? Yes. What was on? I think I said to her, you know, I take a viagra and she doesn't have sex. I'm going, somebody's paying for this pill. Right.

And that led into her talking about the life insurance policy as on me, whatever. But was I on it? I didn't watch it. Somebody told me. I didn't watch it somebody told me I didn't see but we first of all me and you did the table twice and we both made it on TV twice right uh she's great you know and she's always been great you know anyways um there you go right there I did I do that you do that or you do that? What? Are you did that?

Yeah, I did that. I lose it on you guys that night on her. In the middle listening to me, this is so fucking epic. It's my love comics, because we're so fucking demented. Look at this table. Look at us. We're all happy, look happy, right? We're filming.

No, the rich does not look happy that big girl at all Ricky look at Bonnie and him looking at you could tell their team it up on me This is Ricky. This is his paranoia. This is his fucking Parachute Ricky Ricky where he was sitting there where exhausted it started at 11.45 We're both in our 40s. We're all in our 40s, well, 60s, me and Bollywood are in our 40s. Right, I'm tired. I'm, we're doing this thing. We're trying to get through it.

We're trying to set the producer was not the best one. The week before or the time before this guy knew us, he was a fan, this guy was doing his job. Not a bad guy, just fucking doing his job. He was coming up, hey guys, can you try, and we don't work well with that. And he wasn't laughing, and he was going, no, they weren't laughing.

It was, you know, Yamanika was killing that her table, how, how to the last, you know, she wasn't even doing it. She was just yelling. I know, that was the point of the fucking joke I just said. Oh, okay. Anyway, I don't know if I considered that joke, but go ahead.

So we're sitting there and we're trying to do it. Voss, I told him he was talking and I wasn't listening. I was staring at his hat. I was out of it. I just wasn't, I was trying to let him talk and not step on him, but we were trying to get through this and be funny. And it was fine.

We were doing better than any other table I could tell, because we're funnier, and then out of nowhere. This fucking kid, dude, it's on tape, and he's miked. This dummy forgets that there's a mic on him, right? He goes, they cut for a second for something. They were right back in there talking to you, it was fucking you, you fucking both you guys, fucking gang it up on me.

What the fuck are you talking about? David, you're talking about it up. She goes like this, she goes, what, what are you talking about? I'm saying, it goes, get off me. Don't fucking touch me. I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'll talk about it later. We'll talk about it later.

I mean, oh, I was madder. Yeah. Dude, I mean, I want this video tape. The less I want this so bad, get it. Absolutely get it. This asshole was so mad. Me and Bobby can do this. I've never seen him actually get mad.

Me and Bobby can do the table. Anything together. I've never seen Bobby come here. I've never seen Bobby come here. I've never seen Bobby come here. I've never seen Bobby come here. I've never seen Bobby come here. I've never seen Bobby come here. I've never seen Bonnie power Bonnie went I'm sorry no no no I'm so sorry I listen to me just true Ricky you're a wife Ricky she went like this she was oh never sorry I don't I didn't mean to do anything to you

what do you do I didn't I was like this I was like this you don't understand like what the fuck he was like fuck both you fucking ass I was getting up the team first of all, they were gang it up! The fact that it came out right now! Anything I said, anything I said, anything I said! You're the guy that just ripped him a rock? No, I'm sorry. Fuck you, fuck you!

Yo, yo, yo, fuck! Oh, that was fucking... Damn fucking assholes! Fuckin' assholes! You guys are f**king gang it up on me! Like my father, my mother! I'm a gluteer! I give sneakers

First of all anything I said they would just stare at each other and not laugh and play it off like we're like Like funny had the attitude funny had the attitude Finally had to fucking attitude. I know I've never done that I'm I've never done that with my son. I can't. I said it first, fuck you! I look a fat joke at first! I wasn't fat. I was doing exercise. Because Bonnie's under show and she's great on it. I don't know.

And she was acting like, who's this open micer? And I'm like, I would never go under the bus. But anytime I say something, some I funny, they would look at each other. Like, right? And I was going, oh, never go under the bus, but anytime I say something, some I funny, they would look at each other like, right, and I was going, oh, this is pissing me off, right? He snapped. He snapped on camera on Mike.

I mean, literally, she went like this. She goes, but honey, I would never, she literally tried to go, I'm sorry, he went, get the fuck off me. No, I, no, no, no, no, no, no, we'll talk about a letter. First of all, I said, get the fuck off me. No, I know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I almost didn't give her a ride home. Oh man. Have you ever seen him lose it like that before?

Yeah, on me. No, that's how he met. You know that? No, this cocks how you know he's a dick, right? You first made him. Yeah, he was, yeah, he was what I was past. He was easy. You and Tony Woods were probably.

Tony Woods, not Keith Robbins. So Tony gave me so much shit when I first got really Yeah, I was listening like that time. No, he's great. He fucking piece of shit now look at I'm friends with burr patrice Dane Bob Molly and then I become friends with you know, of course Keith I'm friends with Keith and then Jim Lauren and he was the last fucking piece of shit And he just treated me like a piece of shit. Yeah, he did.

So we're at the table one night. Hey, you did. We're at the table one night and he said something to me. I said something back. And what had happened? You took my pack of cigarettes. Yeah. And threw them across the room.

Yeah, because we used to smoke at the table. Yeah, we should. First of all, before that, we were outside. He was driving by and just jokingly, I threw a piece of cardboard in the window of his car. He got out and he did that. Me like it was a fucking slagging. But he didn't do it as my friend.

Yeah, he did it as a bitch. So the guy that doesn't tell us. He was like this, yeah, fuck you. No, you did. Because we weren't friends like that. I think we were kind of friends But we were you threw it at me so then and it just whatever was escalated. So that was cigarettes So no we're sitting at the cell and whatever arguing and he picks up my cigarettes and throws him across the room

So I picked up the table. No, I flipped. No, I flipped his oh my wings my wings in his lap No, I flipped, no, I flipped his wings. My wings in his lap. Oh, get the fuck out of here. We were really sauce full ranch. I fucking stood up. You motherfucker, we're screaming at each other. But then we started laughing, didn't we? Because we were like, what are we gonna do?

Roll around, we just got to laugh. And he has a lap of wings. That's fucking great. And I have broken cigarettes across the road. Oh, man. But ever since then, he's been one I have broken cigarettes across the world. Oh man. But ever since then, he's been one of my favorite people in the world.

I don't know what happened that night, but ever since then, what? It's also too, was the attention of all the other guys instigating us too. You know that we didn't just do people back in the day, dude. The table was rough. It was like, it was. Now you sit down, it's like, hey, how you doing?

Good, how you doing? I heard you got that thing. I did. Did you get that? I got that thing. We all have things back then. Nobody had shit. Billy came in one night.

I tell the story, mate. Billy came in one night and we're sitting here. It's me, Patrice, Norton Bobby could have been there. So it's one of the Metro play. I was there. You were there. So it's my roommate. Metro playing the Yankees in the World Series, right? Yeah, so we so Billy said oh, I'm going to the game

And we go how do you get tickets and Billy said these guys have a bus trip and they hired me to do comedy under a bus And it'd give me free tickets So our eyes lit up once he said he was doing comedy on the bus an hour later But he's was doing bits like this. You guys were great. I don't like you as far. No, we were all holding the handle. We were doing this. We were holding the handle like,

hey guy, hey, do the back of the bathroom. And we did the bus driver, hey, we had the yellow line. We did it out. He was sitting at the bottom. We think it was pouring back. This is back when you're talking. I remember how bad you were. Before the Metro car, we were throwing tokens out of

them. Remember we're throwing tokens? When I first got into comedy, I remember, I would never came to the seller before I was passed at it because I was afraid of you guys. Yeah, you should be. I actually watched Godfrey make a girl cry once. I said, the tree's making it. It was unreal, girl. Girl, you abandoned. I actually watch God free make a girl cry once I may I said Patrice figure remember it was unreal girl you

I was in bag. That's why we made a leaf This girl I went on a couple dates with her right yeah, he brought it to the table Which is fine because I was there totally fine. We're all there one night Kevin I won't bring up Kevin's name because he's a little heat right now. Who is it Keith? Patrice me Norton and he came down with this girl, whatever. Well, we'll find it He leaves whatever the next Saturday or next whatever the road right he's on the road. She comes down and sits at the table without me Doesn't say word. We're all sitting at talking blah blah, and then out of nowhere Patrice goes You are you are you giving boss pussy?

You give me any pussy and she's like what are you giving boss any pussy you give some of that pussy? She's like No, he goes all right. well, are you fucking of us? You gonna fuck us? And she's like, what are you talking about? No. You gotta go. He was like, he was a gag, gag, you're out. You gotta go, you with Donnie Brosko then by Vosko.

If you ain't giving up some pussy to Vos and not here, you gotta beat it, you can't just sit here. The other night. He called me crying. Dude, listen, we did it, we were laughing, we kept going with it. So much, we kept it. And not not here you got to beat it you can't just sit here the other night called me crying dude listen We did it. We were laughing. We kept going with it so much. We kept laughing and she was just sitting there All of a sudden she is trying to raise your turn And we did the whole restaurant flipped out like dead silent and we're all like

It was so bad he call he call What you guys do? Call me Carl I'm in the truck in the room I couldn't take it It was so good I do Keith had one who's going back and forth with one of the waiters downstairs I walk in and I'm like I see Keith I was like I go how's your thanks given and the waiter goes he it's a girl she goes he was alone no one who just just shitting on him and she's Spanish and he turns turn and goes at least I wasn't on the caravan bitch

god damn it yeah let me tell you some of the truth. I'm gonna tell you some of the truth. The truth is the Keith are the fucking meanest people I know back now. Oh man. The truth is we were saying a table, an eddie if walks up and he says to me, how much do you make at colleges? I go, I'm not a fuck, I go, whatever. He goes, well, I make this and Patrice lit up going, who the fuck is this? He called an eddie, oh. No.

He did, I'm telling you. Who the fuck is this? He called him Eddie. Oh. No. No. No. He did. He did. I'm telling you, an hour, he said you work at P University, because he was staying. But he did an hour on it. No one else could say anything, because, me, nor can call me driving home, goes, I can't stop laughing.

Oh. Patrice beat any down so bad It was he didn't come back for months. It was like months. He didn't show up It was like it was little rich mother fucker. He was calm and just It was funny Yeah, table was fucking brutal and now it was fun. No tables over though. It's gone It's fucking done. We were so close to chat now, man. It's group chats. That's where my talks there shit. It's so funny even like I mean look at This shit with with Kevin. I mean I'm back in the day in the fall. It's a real dice. We're talking about a guy a black guy from Philly

That beat all odds Mm-hmm became who he is and he's the guy holding people down. Come on. I can't stand me miss Patel With somebody that's holding me miss Patel That name is holding people down. It's insane. We're we're but I I heard so actually Ross said it the other night I thought it was pretty cool that Jeff Ross. I know He who's that? Oh Yeah, oh that guy. Yeah, so I said what he said no You we were all talking about him. He's like it's coming. It's what's cool about it is that like comedy's becoming like the new drug

That you do that you don't tell nobody like going to see shows is like something you wouldn't you know wrote that for him I don't know Body killing Bunny That was great. What's he gonna let that go? I am listening. Listen, it's fucking ridiculous. And the fact that Kevin said, you know what?

Go fuck yourself. I'm not apologizing for the rest of my life for the same thing, because you already apologize it. And he said it perfectly. If you don't think we can evolve as human beings for some fucked up reason that comedians especially or actors we don't get to evolve. Like we can criminals can, everybody else fucking can, drug addicts can, alcoholics can,

Steve Howard, Steve Howard, seven cancers. Steve Howard, Steve Howard, for the Yankees got caught with coke seven fucking times. It's fucking mind-boggling to me that you can't, you're holding somebody, as soon as somebody gets something great, there's a fucking small group of shit, shit people out there, garbage fucking people, call themselves liberals too by the way, call them, that fucking a hiding under the fucking liberal banner and they attack them.

I talk to, I immediately call, I have a bunch of friends that are gay and I have a bunch of trans friends and I call them up and I was like, where are you on this? So like, yeah, no bullshit. Nobody, a small percentage of the gay community gives a fuck about that,

but they, most of us don't give a fuck about that. I mean, in 2009, you still being held to it, like they don't wanna see you change what they wanna do is they wanna be upset. It's not even about changing anything. It's about being upset. They're fucking cute. The motive is to be the victim.

And you don't think the academy knew about this before they hired? Fucking academy. When is one of these corporations, one of these big, huge money making fucking thing that fucks people over forever? I mean, that's what they make money off of. You're accountable. When are you just going to stand up and go, you know what, fuck these people?

Fuck this, it's this many people. They'll be a network that does it sooner or later. I can't wait for them. I can't wait for them. We'll say fuck it we're going we're going double down it's fucking crazy so sick of it what the most offensive to on the planet what will me you robberning ten that's the orange and short in that up when is that when is that date fine that day

what is that we're gonna do something we gotta do something that's in March right yeah it's in March do some and and not saying to go up there to be Yes, they could be offensive casual theater and that's the date and it's up It's March 8th. We're at the casual theater me Ron Bennington Jim Florentine and and And me rich boss Don I'm right here I'm failing up to the table last week of me and you and Bonnie. Well, but it's the thing Kevin used to sit on our table and we used to beat him down.

He used to beat us down. I mean, he came up here with Keith. And we feel funny though. You know what? The fact is too is that it's like, oh, we're gay. Guess what? Every guy I know is gay. We're all fucking.

Let me, you get me in a fucking, you get me in the right situation, I'm gonna put that thing right in my butt. Listen to me. What? And every, every guy I know, every guy I know in this fucking room, in the right situation's gonna fucking,

fucking stick it right in your ass hole, okay? And gay people know that. Gay people, ask trans girls, trans girls, how macho guys are. They're not, the happier people. Who is the gay community? Well, that's why they call them gay. No.

Well, I mean, look, I understand that it's what happens to them. And look, we have to take it with, you know, we have to be realistic. We're on the coasts. So we see stuff There's still south in the middle of this country. Yeah, that can't be who you can't be you. You can't be who you are Can't be a journalist in New York man. This place is in New York Yeah, but this but very but there's more places of New York So I mean what's talking? I understand being gay and Alabama is probably a lot harder than being gay in New York City. Being gay in another country.

So don't kill you. So dangerous town they addiction solid hard. Yeah, but fuck this. It makes me sick. The kettle was right. Kevin Hart, okay, was the most, he was like up there with the rock. Motivating people, he changed everything. He fucking learned his lessons.

And he's one of the good ones. He's the guy that comes in and says hi to everybody in the club. Make sure, part of. Yeah, one of those one-hats in, as in, collage. What? No, bad.

No, I mean in comedian. Oh, okay. A lot of them are fucking shit like you, Rich. I thank you. I'm not even famous. Ricky, no one would say in that. First of all, your grandfather did him with the word colored. He can't say that.

He's where we finished. First of all, Kevin. Isn't that funny? Even if you, like he'll say that, nobody's going to fuck with him. He'll, but if you said that, even if you're joking around, you get something, Ricky, you get a TV show and you're bombarded. It's going great. Somebody would find you on this show saying colored people laughing at it and try to take

you down. Every year when SNL happens and they bring somebody onto the cast, there's a full thing, every single year, every year, the new kid gets attacked through social media. You know, I was joking when I said that. And obviously, the don't apologize. No, that's what the tour is going to be. I got something going. I got something going.

I got something big going. And body does. No, we do. I'm telling you, it's a more hurt thing. Well, yeah, it is. It is. And I wish you here. Any house, Tom.

I'm sick of you teasing me. This is a new one today, baby. Good news today. You like the whole of this together? I was like those famous for two hours. He's like those famous. I'm the famous comments dude. I can't wait to tell you guys the big news.

Not yet. Shut the fuck up. Just tell us. We totally tell us stuff. Just tell me when you tell me. Stop teasing me with it. I'm not teasing you. I'm not what the fuck. Stop it.

I wanna show you something too after this. Why did you just do the shoulder thing for? Cause I'm just, since we're talking gay. What? I think we need to fucking, we need to start saying fuck you. I mean as a as a comedian as comedians we got to stop worrying about oh I want to forget this and what a fuck you

I did read the girl's point of view from Columbia College. Did you read her point of view tell us? I don't remember it, but it was I'm on nimages side. I'm always on the comic side. No matter what. His name, Nemesh. Okay, he said off switch. So I don't give it look. He's fucking. So you think he's going to get hit you pals name, right? I worked on many projects with them. I've given them ride. I like them a lot. I tell us and And I'm always on his side. But the girl who wrote her a piece about what happened to us did have a good point of

you. What was the point? Three people coming on stage with live mics is an attack. We're like that. They walked on stage with live mics in their hands. What did you get from me? I'm not getting it. I got from it. I'm putting that in the contract that that cannot happen. Can I say something to you? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I'm not gonna fucking sit here. I just ready. But you brought it up like was so you bring everything else and bring it up. You think I you think I'm on the podcast right now. I'm going to read a fucking article. We some of it. Just tell me what you think it was. Where the point. Her point of view was he was hired to do one thing.

And some of them, some of them, listen, people as much as we think it's not finished the fight. No, I am. I'm finishing right. As much as we, and what's his name said is, as much as we think it's not offensive, they also have the right to think it is offensive. Okay, but you don't have to. Her article actually goes into like what comedy is supposed to be.

Yeah, and he wasn't really being a good comedian. He didn't work. No, that's broken. You don't. Listen, I said I agree with some stuff. Go ahead. Fucking boss. Go ahead.

Damn, you make me fucking angry. How the fuck are you taking her side at all? I didn't take her side. I said, she had some good boy. She has no fucking points. You didn't read it. Here's the fucking fact. You didn't read it. Here's the fact.

He made a light-hearted joke. Yes. Pro gay. You didn't listen. You heard the word black. And you fucking hit the panic button. And you ended, tried to end somebody's fucking career. Fuck you.

You don't get to do that. It was a pro gay joke. tried to end somebody's fucking career. Fuck you, you don't get to do that. It was a pro gay joke. It was, she heard trigger words, and these fucking sissy's, and I'll say it, I'm gonna come down. It's wild, it's scary. It's ridiculous.

I'm gonna come down because I'm being triggered. I hate it, I hate it, I'm being triggered. We're saying that word. But trigger, think. But trigger, think. But trigger, think. But trigger, think. But trigger, think. Listen, here's Ricky, I want to talk to you. Yeah. It's the fact that you feel about all this.

I don't give a fuck. You don't get to, okay, you can tell me, you can write all the fuck you want, but you're trying to assassinate people. You're trying to say, you're trying to say he did something that we thought was offensive. And it wasn't. And you're going out and he made the fuck you tried to take him out. You try. Now a story. He was over. He was, he wanted it to be quiet. Of course. He went quiet. He didn't do nothing and then it starts coming out

and it comes out from their side. Yeah, I saw it on their side. Okay, he turned down the interviews. He turned down. And here's the thing is that these fucking assholes, they try to assassinate people with words and the social media because they have the power. And you know what, fuck you.

Well, he made a mess. He made a mess. How is this your thing? Like how is being this upset in a victim of thing like it's just such a crazy Please don't fucking colleges don't go I Do a lot worse than what fucking I do a lot worse at colleges. I know you're not as funny as him. What oh? I'm sorry I thought you were talking about I do a lot worse at colleges. I've known you not as funny as him. What?

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking about. Oh, sorry. Okay, well, you said, do you understand, Bobby, here she was going wrong. I'm always 100% behind the comedian. No matter what I like him or dislike him. I'm just saying she had a couple valid points.

What was the valid point? I don't remember. I think you can't bring it up remember I think you can bring it up. It was in fuss. That's like me going. I mean, you can't say she had a couple of I'm like, okay, what were they? I don't know. I don't remember. There's one sentence. I need to hurry into it. I wish he was routine was the emphasis of what culture shock stood for. I get that But you should have done a better job in hiring the comic if he's not the right thing for your festival. And then, but the rest of the article is,

he's a terrible comic, and he's bad for comedy in the world, like that's what he said. I don't think he said he's a terrible comic. And it says right there. It says different article. It says, listen, it says right there. Some may argue he was making a comment on society race and homophobia, which he was.

But for whom? I watched a brown man use the experience of black people to make white people ponder and laugh while two of my gay black friends cringed. Uh, uh, uh, uh. Are you out of your fucking mind? So when you, when a white guy, when you're making a male alpha male jock,

you make that joke, it's fine. So that's fine. You guys can all laugh at that shit, but we don't get to laugh at you. And in that joke, he wasn't, it wasn't homophobic. It was saying how tough it is. I mean, for a black and gay guy, a black guy, yes, we get it. I'm sorry, I need to use the restroom.

Oh, please. Anyways, we gotta wrap this up. No, I agree with you 100%. I don't agree with any of this. They're using their fucking spinning it and making it a tragedy. And my two, my gay black friends cringe Why why look at this look at these?

It's identity politics. It's I it's all about what you look like It's all about this he made a joke on how hard it is to be black and how hard it was to be gay and black That's the joke here's what she was saying that I remember kind of, and I don't agree with this, but I kind of agree. It's hard. She was saying, who are you to make assumptions on another race in person? I'll tell you who we are.

I'm a comic. I am a fucking, I'm a legend. But listen, that hasn't lived that life. I don't need to live your life to know about your life I agree with that. I don't need to be fucking a full-fledged gay guy to talk about gay sex Not at all. I don't need to fucking be a woman to talk about woman's thing women can talk about me We're human beings. We judge people. We see things. we experience things, and we make jokes. The fact that we take an idea, and we present it, and it has a little edge to it, and it brings, what do you want?

You go, we want to fucking tonight show clean, holy shit comedy, all the fucking- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Bobby he doesn't want any of those kids as a Yeah, but Bobby here's for him at the end of the day But somebody listen Bobby here's just worried about it because somebody is these fucking people I don't understand why the majority voice We're bigger than them. It's not the majority though if you actually go talk to the people It's not the majority That's exactly what I'm saying why aren't we Telling them to shut the fuck up? Why are we so lazy?

Because the big money, correct, crumbles. Why are we voiceless? Why do we never get behind? Why is the, why are we just sitting there watching the fucking world implode with a few thousand people making it happen? Okay, here, can I make a point here? It's a big enough block. Let's post you your intro, man. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Bobby. Hey, Bobby.

Can I? Yes, you can talk about, Gays. I'm against you. You can't talk about all that stuff that you see or know. Yeah. But you can't feel the pain that a gay guy has felt in life being discriminated against. It's a pain. It's a pain.

It's because I'm a gay guy. Yeah, you. Yeah. No. As a black, but you can't feel, you can talk about it, but you can feel the progressive riches killing me. This is fucking insane. I really feel like a drum.

He's in part of the game. He's on Buzzfeed next week. Progressive Rich is killing me. This is fucking insane. I'm really, I feel like a problem. I'm up. He's on BuzzFeed next week. No. This is because he has something going on with his career right now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Can I finish? He's trying. Doesn't mean Ricky.

He's trying to, you know, kind of just keep everything nice. Can I go up against what you're saying? Can I just say something? Wait, wait, back to you had something to say. Back to you saying. Back to you saying. Go ahead, back to you, I'm like, oh, I make fun of people. I'm saying how people feel when I was in rehab Okay, when I was in rehab who all those things I'm gonna break them. Okay, when I was in rehab Okay, I had two type of counselors. I had a counselor that was an ex-addict that we would have and then we had the counselors that went to school

The counselors I connected with were the ex addicts. Yeah. Because they could feel what I felt as an ex addict. So we cannot feel. I don't care what you say, what you know about. What you can't feel. The kind of say. So I hear of you, somebody that can like part of journalism is actually revealing both sides to the audience like well they're not saying she's doing that even though she's not right but like that's the problem is that they say the representation of comedy in this article like has she really talked to somebody that's on the level that Neemash is on oh no no she hasn't taken the time to care about him she feels she

should well let's let's even talk about this does she know anything about Neymus? Has she asked any of those questions? She asked him about how he was raised and what the shit He's been doing. Right. It's no that that's not the question anymore. Yeah, we're tearing down Kevin Hart This dude did not have the most lovely life when he started. Yeah It's all about perspectives. I mean, yeah, bro. You You're not allowed to grow, man. It's fucking grown. You're not allowed to grow, but you're also not allowed to make any mistakes whatsoever. Now, say this, he made that mistake.

We've all been to colleges and said something fucked up. Here's a deal, too. I was at a college one time and I had a joke where I said, Faggy. I just said something like that's Faggy. And I come off stage, and the girl comes up to me red face, almost crying. Like, yeah, you really offended some of the kids

when you said Faggy. I was a kid, but I didn't mean it like gay. I meant it like, you know, being silly or whatever, you know, like I'm whatever, I'm from Boston, are we? And I'm putting in front of your friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, she's literally like you, but you know you really can't say that and a couple of the students really offended and

I'm like, didn't you have Dane cook here last week? She goes, yeah, I go same crowd, right? Yeah, I go, what's his closing joke? What's the line? She goes, he's a faggot? That was his closer. Yeah, because he had a thing where he does a thing and he opens and he goes, he's a faggot. Okay, yeah. Did anybody have a problem with it last week? The word faggot? No, but it's the way he, it's him.

I went exactly, fuck off. Do you know, I did. Fuck you, because if it was a comic that they liked or whatever, it's, it's, it's, it, Patushes said all the time, what's good for you is good. That's it. What's good for you is good. Do you think Trevor Noah would have got away?

Trevor Noah would have absolutely got away with that joke. That was like, Absolutely got away with that joke. Because he's like, there's a lot of people that would, look at you can, you can say fucked up shit

about pretty much everybody you want. As long as they're, they don't like, oh, they're cool with those people You know they know it's not them, you know, this is this is the problem you came to our fucking thing And we were having a great and then you said this joke Here's what should happen. Hey, we that joke really we didn't you know, we okay, you did what you did you know I mean We don't want that okay great. That. That's happened to all of us.

I'm sorry, misunderstanding. We thought you're gonna do this. You did this. It's a misunderstanding. I know the joke was not crazy, but it did offend a couple of people. Not all of us. Most people will find with it,

but just a couple of people. So we're just gonna end it. Great. Sorry about that. I didn't mean to do that. He's a nice guy. He's not out there hurting people's feelings, and it's gone.

You let it go. You let it go. you let it go. I got rid of the girls came out with microphones I got ridden up in college mad I would have anything but he's a better person than I would have went I would have started going off on each one of those girls Really? with a microphone they came out with microphones and said it what oh they were I took their we're gonna do snap battle They came. Snap battle. That's what they call the first original version when you were doing comedy. It was on TV.

It was on TV. Snaps. It's so funny too. You're saying something offensive. Didn't even try to teach you or help them or you would just like, fuck them. Let's kill them. Wait a second. Now, let's kill them.

When I started comedy, I've been doing it 34 years. Yeah, okay I know comics it above me to have been doing 34 years and if you tell me when you make it 34 years then come talk to me What do you listen to about what do you start a comedy who said I'm old you are oh, yeah, listen Ricky What is it my age? And I sustained I Consisting and I know listen to me We were paying attention to him for a second. This is on tempertention. I got a good story I was doing a college. Yeah, so they should come in. It was when Harvard opened

Doing a college right I a state to co-chair So they said do some material and then talk about recovery So to my whatever I was doing on stage is like I'm joking with a girl Whatever I'm not gonna do anything. You know you whatever line, you know Next you know, I'm written up in college magazine and some like creepy guy or something, like they give me a rate of being a college, you know, the college that goes throughout the country. No, I got more work.

This was years ago. Oh, here, I'll tell you this best story in college is the best. I got to a college or had a recorder then. I said, is there anything I can't. I love Ricky. I love his recorder was this big. Every quarter. I had a slum over my shoulder. I had a lady there that typed. So I had a recorder and I said to the lady before. I had a, is there anything I can't say? She said said say whatever you want there's no restrictions Just do what you want did my show she calls my agent goes he was a little dirty. I have it I'm fucking recording her saying yeah, do whatever you do that. I went to I have a question

He's walking off he presses You hear the fucking wheels turning. I'm telling you. Dude, listen, I've done many colleges I went to that they were like, they were like, okay, say whatever you want, I go up and say it all of a sudden, you know, you see, like, two girls get up and just leave. I get it. I get it. I understand that people get offended at colleges, comics say fucked up shit, but it's, you know, it's something that happens, you shouldn't, you shouldn't want to fucking take somebody's life away and try to ruin them.

Not Marty's college, when we used to do that, you could do anything up there. Dude, I bombed up there one night. I said something to a black chicken, the front row. I don't know, I murdered like three times. I went up with Norton and I was like, I was going up in front of Norton. I was like, I'm gonna kill.

I tried to improv some shit and she had something in her hair and I was like, yeah, I don't even know what I said. And it was like, what? And I was like, I just fucking panicked. Do you still do that? And then I almost bombed. I was almost fucking bombed. Not almost. I heard you did.

I pulled it up at the last second Literally the last I just have these kids with energy and screaming, you know We're sitting like this. Oh, yeah, they're all like that. I mean not all college. So some of them are incredible I mean I've done I've done some colleges that was just like set up amazing, but for the most part. It's just like I Don't know man. I Did NYU this year. Can I stop everyone's here? Did you bring up a ivory recorder? Yes, which is recorder.

That's what he does here. Funny. It's almost like a play on words. God, I hate you. It's almost like a play on words. God I hate you. Okay Ricky. No I did that why you this year and I was really nervous about doing it based on what everything that has been going on and the kids were actually really fucking cool. So it was it was it was looking I'm not saying all we can't we we can't do what they do to we can can't do to them not most of the kids are great at colleges most of the kids want a funny show and can Can decide what is really bad and what's not and understand? All right, he's trying to be funny. That's a funny joke. I get it

But some kids are so fucking sensitive. They shouldn't go They shouldn't have it or they should like Becky said hand pick go over everything that this person is gonna say So that you don't have to worry about it. You're not gonna embarrass somebody and try to end somebody's fucking career You know he's trying to be funny. That's what we try to do and we have to go to the fucked up places and the weird places to do it You know not all of us have fucking puppets and not all of us are crystal clean. Life sucks. Life is hard. We all of us have fucked up things and we think fucked up thoughts and I'm sorry, but that's usually the funny shit. What about you, me, you and Florentine, to do a college? I wouldn't do a college with you and a fucking, I would never do a college.

Why? I know how to tone it down. Patrice once said it is one of my favorite quotes, but it's pretty much, I'm gonna probably butcher it, but it comes in the way of a joke, a joke can't be unfunny if it's never told. Like, and it's just like, they're all coming from the same place, but unless it's say that loud, you're never gonna know.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, place, but unless it's say that loud, you're never gonna know. Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's ridiculous. But why don't we gonna stop? It's like, you know, two things I want to stop doing in the next couple of years. I want check spots to be gone. Breathe in. Breathe in.

Oh. It's just me. It's not even that. It's like, you want me to die. My mom just like the husband. How you want to lose a fucking out of the sun? Because nobody likes you. All right, and you're closer to death. You're 62. Yeah. All right. What's that? Bobby goes. We feel bad. Yeah. It's all the same time. Yeah, we know. It's a man's murder. you sure my kids can my stamps?

I'm leaving you in. Thank you. Write that down on the paper. I like to think it's on the fridge. I just think what everybody's getting is just sitting in the kitchen. I just think that if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if that if if if I've checked bought needs to go with the comedy clubs Stop it stop it comedy club owners. We have to do it. No, you don't you're lying You're lazy. You don't have to do it. Tell you waitress set send the fucking hose back up to do eight minutes

While the checks are being done stop it most checks are credit cards people aren't gonna leave without their credit card It's fucking unbelievable stop it. i told them you know this weekend don't do anything to it if you're a comedy club owner you need to knock it the fuck off stop it no check spots we need to start as comics we need to start telling them now you're not doing that because they do it because we allow them to do it because we're so scared to not not have pocket yet we need to just say, no more check spots, figure it out.

Comedy Cell does it, a lot of clubs do it and you can figure it out. I'm gonna ask it for people not to do it and they're like, and they've done it. So figure it, the fuck out. I don't care. We have another show coming in. You have an hour, work faster.

Do whatever the fuck you get to do. Check spots, you're literally dropping math problems in front of a crowd that I just spent 45 minutes getting and 45, I've been up to 20 minutes and they've dropped them. Whatever the fuck it is. They leave that stuff. I should always get a back. That's good, that was good.

I get those checks right now, this guy's losing them. He's gonna help him pass him out. You already sitting on the piano. So anyway, and I think that we need to start sticking up for each other. Kevin, I don't like him anymore. I actually just got asked by NBC to come on and do a segment about him.

I don't do it. I want to go on there, but I don't want to be dragged into his shit. You know, like I don't want to do it. I'm going to get myself in enough shit. Can you talk? Can you talk his number? What? Oh, that'd be fucking great.

Can you just go in as me? Hat backwards and everything? You know, I got stoned by bees. Not a nemick. I'm allergic to shellfish. I'm sorry, I'm a little fucking jubbi. Listen, I think the pot roast corn, the hamburger, jubbi.

Oh, sorry. It's going to end the show. Seven, what do you got to win? You got nothing. You got nothing to be getting. That's getting late. 50 p.m. No, that's where I'm at right now.

Because you got nothing to get out of it. I really don't have anything to get out of it. Because you'll give your opinion, and that's not the opinion they want to hear. And that's it. But the advice did it with Norton once. Norton sat there with that, no, they did it on, but Kwamell Belchow.

But he did it and he won. And he won. And she, no, he won because he went in there. Norton is, Norton is not a bad person. Oh, no, oh. And that's, he won because he went in there. Norton is not a bad person. Oh, no, oh. And that's why he won. And he's very smart. You're gonna have to be truthful, man.

You don't, you just have to be real about what the fuck you're saying. And also, listen, because sometimes the other people make a point that you're like, oh, all right, I get that, but it's called a conversation. It's called, you know, having dialogue with each other. And it stinks because it's all one way. It's all text, it's all on Twitter, it's all on,

we need to stop, Twitter has to go. I've been off it for you. Fuck Twitter. I'm telling this. I use it to promote once in a while, and I'm, I don't fucking, I'm not sitting there trying to make some dickhead have. That was a good one fuck off but you know but everything breaks

down to what is it on their political side or is it on their political side it all breaks down at the same time they're making liberals not want to be liberals yeah they're pushing their tone each other under the bus people look for you it's not they're pushing them into the center and over to the right I'm telling you it's I used to I was a I'm a Democrat I'm a registered Don't each other on the bus. People look, yeah, there's not there pushing them into the center and over to the right. I'm telling you, I was a Democrat. I'm a registered Democrat. And I sit there and I hear this shit.

And I'm like, I want nothing to do with you. And that's how you're going to get Trump elected again. What the fuck is wrong? I don't want to get elected again, but it'll go to another Republican. It's sick. It's sick. Anyways, uh, Pete, well, everything coming out with, uh, Cohen, it's sick. Anyways, paypal. Well, everything coming out with Cohen, he's,

PayPal, I want to get into that. PayPal, excuse me, in PayPal.com, you always say go into the mic. Listen, PayPal. PayPal.me slash YKWD gifts. Please go there right now.

If you can donate anything, whatever you got a dollar, five dollars, you don't have to donate much. We're gonna, I tell you, me and my wife are gonna spend a ton of our own money. We're gonna buy a bunch of these. We wanna get hundreds of these little activity packs for, I think it's Melissa and Doug activity packs

for children in the hospital. Being in the hospital sucks, especially when you're a kid, there's nothing to do. You're in your freaking room, you strapped up to something. Being in the hospital at holidays is even worse. And it's not like you can just're in your friggin' room, you're strapped up to something. Being in the hospital at a holiday is even worse. And it's not like you can just go in there and visit people and hang out. I'd love to.

You can't. But you can do this. You can help out and know that you did something good and you made a kid happy for a couple hours in a hospital somewhere. By going to paypal.me slash ykwdgifts and donate what you can and also go to patreon.com. I'll match whatever Rich puts up you will 100 you put an up 100. Oh come on. Are you making your own? I'm giving you that 100. I'll give it to you. You can give it to them. What are you 100 for? That we made a bet on the Lewis go much fight.

Okay. I got nothing to say. Why did they better get I better get to Lewis because I just wanted to know who was betting against them. We just wanted some action. There's one action and this gambling ad it got me. You brought came up to me you brought you came up to me. Hey, this week I'll be in Doyle's town at the comedy cabaret, Franny and

Shattern. Also sleeping there. Hopefully. If you want to order after the back and not three times on the window, I just worked levity and I took the hotel Thursday through Sunday. It's an hour and a half from my house. What hotel? Nice hotel. Which one? I took Renaissance, Mariah. Will you act there Sunday? I came home Sunday night, but I was there Sunday You should have called me you were flying back from San Diego. I didn't think you'd be home on time Oh, whatever. So I had to treat Sunday and everything. What's that? We got a tree Sunday. It looks fucking great. Oh fabulous So can't connect this Friday in Saturday, Doyle's Town, and then the 28th, 29th, I'll be at the Tropical Atlantic City, and I have a new bio on my website.

Can I see it? Because it's a bio. Because I read your old one. Yeah. Because all of my red ones, if you just want to, but this one I... If you want to read his old one, go to my Patreon and watch the live from the Sherwood Boss. I read his old bio, I was fucking hystericalical. God what is it? Rich is an American is an American

Why? I don't know Bonnie make you put that He's a dirty American comedian actor. Well, I I take out American and put a period after comedian Okay He has over 100 television pairs. That's not true. Easily.

I can name them right now. Please, don't. You can name the president that you got the mail from. But you can name everything. You're gonna go 100. You name 100 fucking TV shows you're on right now. 100 TV appearances. 50 people.

You want to bet 100 right now? Are you gonna do tough crowds? Like one show forever. At 35 right there? Yeah, but it's only three but it's only five TV shows you've been on no 25 joy Bayhars at 60 right there doesn't okay. Yes, it does the TV appearance Yeah, but it's what you count one show as a That's like me counting the nightly show for every single show

If you did but if you did if you did, if you did let, if you did, uh, what's his name? It's made a great point. You did make a great point. I was a correspondent there. So therefore I've done over 100. Yes, you have on television. You've done over a hundred appearances.

Yeah, but you haven't done a hundred unique appearances. I never said they were unique. Do you see the crowd? You see fucking unique. I'm not, you see. You know where your headphones, because you're not getting any in my you mean? Ah, I'm not. You see it. Get away your headphones, because you're not getting any of my jokes.

You fucking have to help. I heard you, you say. What I say, you didn't do any unique appearances. All right, good you heard. All right, so four Comedy Central Specials, you didn't do four. I want to bet. I don't, but go ahead, tell us.

I did two of my own specials, hours. No, they were back then, an hour one or two half an hours I did the tough crowd special you did not make anonymous special premium no no not premium blitz two half an hours okay I'm not can comics anonymous and the tough crowd specials specials as well as HBO showtime stars appearances he produced and started an award-winning comedy movie, Women Aren't Funny, alongside Bonnie McFlylic, Chris Rock, Rosie Adonnell.

You can't put that, Chris Rock and Rosie Adonnell, just because they were in the movie alongside them. Yes, you can. It's a bio, it's not the fucking, I'm not, and many more. Why would you put in many more? Because you're in many more celebrities. I'm not gonna name them all. Why would you put in many more? Because you're in many more celebrities. I'm not gonna name them all.

But you're supposed to beat these celebrities. It's over. About 50. Here's a two-time Academy Award winning writer. I wanna fucking punch you. A regular on Series XM radio, and a co-host of his hit podcast, my wife hates me. Me that, what is his pace magazine name,

one of the best podcasts right now? I don't, what, like today, like right now, like what does that mean? What does that matter, it's a bio-sister. He has also appeared on what the fuck with Mark Marin, the Joe Rogan podcast. Twice. Twice. What'd what just say once guys we fucked You never put my show on there. It's not big enough

He's been sober for That's one of the fucking Rather than promotion. No, you're wrong. You're a hundred percent wrong rule He's he's been sober over 32 years and good at golf for 20. Do you write this? Yeah, I'm a puncher. I watch you unpunch it. I think it needs unpunging. I think you punched it up. And I didn't like my anonymity. I didn't say a 12 step program. All right. Well, there you go. And and when you put that, I get calls from conventions to do conventions. All right cool Ricky, what do you got? I

Then the year I'm gonna be in Boston with Pete Davidson for New Year's and I think we're doing Jersey in Long Island the days before Oh cool, and then um Yeah, man, I don't know I Don't know. All right, what's your website? No, I just have Instagram, Ricky Vales. Just Ricky Vales. Yeah, everything's there, and we post everything there. Awesome.

We have a lot of shows. I think I actually have a few colleges in the new year, but yeah. That's awesome, dude. Yeah, go downstairs, doing an hour. What's going on? What's going on? You going downstairs now? Yeah.

And doing an hour? Yeah. Where? Seller. you have an hour tonight? Yeah. Oh my God, if you guys are listening live, get the fuck down here right now. Oh, we're sold out. We're pumped. Yeah, it's going to be great.

It's going to be awesome, dude. Uh, look at you, man. Look at you with the kid. Oh, he's awesome, dude. It's really, I was scared at first, but now it's straight up. It's petrified, dude. Yeah. And it never goes away because now you're just going to worry about him, you know, being all right. Yeah. But it's a beautiful thing. Enjoy your

life right now, man. It's fun. It's cool right now. This is the best. It really is, man. Enjoy it. Enjoy your days. Look, he's a good looking kid, too. He's not fucking ugly. Oh, let's not get carried away with other people. There's no need. Are you, did you kill a dog for that blanket? What is that? Um, no my my wife decorating so apartment like we sell cocaine Oh, man, Vales great to have you on dude. Thank you for having me. I love coming on this one. Oh good man last week I'm glad that didn't happen dude. I'm glad you came on this week. I'm so happy I really thank you because I was gonna come in hot It was gonna be ugly and I didn't want to be that yeah and

lost thank you for coming on but i hate that hoodie i hate it what you take this off back you what do you got hey i'm at human places on insta the user three oh well why are you so fucking sweet amazing pictures on there amazing my favorite she's great What do you got there? Fucking white Mike. I am at my cabercy on all social media and I got a podcast called a little time that you can download wherever you can download. I'm laughable.

Find them on Grindr around 1130. That's just. Oh, I have a new podcast. That's the thing that's in it. What is it? It's me and Carly Ocarlino on that Betches Pog company that what's his name's on? Jared Fried. Yeah. Yeah, they just took us on. It's me and Carly Ocarino on that Betches Puck company that what's his name's on Jared Fried? Yeah, yeah, they just took us on it's dope. Oh good shit on the internet and people on it. Oh good. Yeah, good for you Dude, that's the girl from

Girl code girl code. Yeah, awesome Mike at Mike's before as on Instagram on New Year's week. I'll be in San Antonio laugh out loud The 26th 27th. I'll be headlining those two days. I'll go in last. Uh, we just stopped the fucking guys starting to make it. Those are, those are my door deal days. So come up to those, please.

Listen, the other club closed down the, I was there for the last week. Yeah. Listen, man, if you guys are fans of mine, go see Mike. A door deal means this. That means the more people that show up, the more money he makes, and this guy needs money.

He just got dumped by his wife. Is that what happened? We got divorced. We got divorced. I'm sorry. She took her for everything. Bean bag chair. She's actually now opening for Bobby.

LAUGHTER Did you have a scam collection? LAUGHTER I Think you have a scam collection A bean bag No, God anyways go check him out if you're around there. Please supporting every time I see them working always does well Listen man I the best part about your fans my my fans you guys come out to the shows this week in San Diego was awesome Thanks for coming out. All you listeners, I fucking love you so much.

And make sure you go to my Patreon channel. Becoming a member, if you're not a member, just go. If you listen to the show, just go. Whatever you can do, a dollar five, whatever. The stuff's up to you, get the podcast free. I do a bunch of shit. I'm filming way more now. I got the camera, the editing, the sound. I'm figuring it all out so I'm doing way more now. I got the camera, the editing, the sound.

I'm figuring it all out so I'm doing way more shit. And it's going right feet. What are you doing? I promote the fuck out of you. What is it? What's the problem with you? This is why you're not a good person. You're not a good person.

It's like I literally, I let you, you're just putting your bag. You're just playing a band! You're- then fucking- What do you want me to do? Just give me five seconds! Go ahead wrap it up! I'm trying to. But I got five people I got to promote this shit. I go last.

Oh. People have already hung up on the- They stopped the fucking podcast. And you're first. I did you first. Thank you. I promote you for all you fucking first. Thank you. Don't be so upset

You fucking was hit money last week It was hit Bonnie oh Never hit a girl. I'll be rolling after we cut this Oh, it's not up there, but next on the 19th your fat black pussy got got show. Oh, yeah, fat black next when I'll be in town next Wednesday. Yeah, you're not honest. Come on. No, come on. You're gonna get a hotel and everything.

I'll be in town next Wednesday. I don't put you on it. Oh, thanks. Ricky, come down and do a spot. Oh, love to do. Oh, too. Ricky, you. Maybe you too.

All right. All right, cool. So are you on any fucking Ricky kills on stage? You want the fucking he just he's very likable. He's very likable. Kills. There's something coming. I'm waiting for the points. Yeah, I'm common menu.

I'm not machine you kill. All right, so check it out. Please this week, Pekipsi Friday. The vibe. Yonkers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and to coma comedy club for New Year's that whole week. I'm there. I love those two clubs. I didn't do the Spokane yet. I did the Tacoma. The kid is an unbelievable kid. It's one of the greatest green rooms ever and the club is amazing and the family owns this thing and Spokane is mom and dad. So I'm going to be up there. So Seattle

show the fuck up man. Let's go. Spread the word by the ticket. Spend New Year's with me and then of course I'm coming back in. I'm a lot of go to RubbercatLife.com. Zach, what do you got? Zach, you guys are the best fans of the world. Enjoy your week. You know what the... You need podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet.

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