Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Anthony Rodia | Are Italians White?

Episode Date: August 20, 2023

This week Bobby is joined by comedian Anthony Rodia, they talk about his characters that gained him a large following online, learning to hunt for when the world ends, and Anthony's hilarious father from Italy. This episode is sponsored by GhostBed Listeners can get 40% off all products sitewide! Use promo code YKWD at GhostBed.com/ykwd for 40% Off Sitewide. Limited Time Only. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp Visit BetterHelp.com/DUDE today to get 10% off your first month! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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So you can start sleeping better this week. Listen to this, get 40% off all products sight wide. You can get 40% off a mattress, adjustable base and bedding accessories or 50% off when you bundle a mattress with an adjustable base. Use promo code YKWD at ghostbed.com. Slash YKWD for 40% off, site wide, limited time only. Hay un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra en los bares de Madrid la edición especial de Madrid nos lía. Númena que de Maú, a Madrid. a la banca, ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitas about you dude you doing well I said yeah I said that's not what I want to talk about I said you almost hit me when I was 19 years old with your fucking car what they goes bullshit I go Palem Road I was like I was 19 years old so it was 1999 you

lived in the buildings and I know that because I used to deliver food to you from modern restaurant he goes you worked at Subby's place uh-huh he goes I didn't almost hit you it was my day off I was walking across street degrees the next grab a burger he goes what car was I in? Black Corvette convertible. He goes, dude, I apologize. I almost fucking hit you. I said, yeah, he said he goes, I just come out of the driver like a bad out of hell. Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude, live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKWD I'm really nice. I started a social media podcast.

The fact that YKWD broadcasts YKWD is back again. Home school is back in the day. We're all starting before them all. YKWD YKWD This podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules.

Shut up, you all are winning this. Rupert Bargain I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR. It's Comedy Podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done. Is there any better show?

This is the original. What's up everybody? It's Robert Kelly. You know what, dude? Podcast. Back at the Comedy Seller Studios. I got a twitch in my eye and it's fucking freaking me out right now. If I have a stroke live doing this,

he's gonna take over my podcast for the next month so I can support my family and then the nerds get it. It's gonna be called the Tizzy 3 and Mush. But we're back at the studios above the Comedy Seller. I'm very excited about tonight. We've been slamming these podcasts. Here's the thing, you're watching them. Click subscribe, please.

That's all you get to do. Just it's free. Some of you people have to hit the subscribe. It's like I'm fucking taking away. So just click the button, fuck face. You never have to watch it. If you just see me, I'll pop up, just swipe by it. Look this. I'm not junk mail. I put together a good show. So click the subscribe and give

a thumbs up and leave a comment. I don't give a fuck what you say. I don't read them. I make the artistic Jew read them. And then he tries to tell me, I go, pop up, don't tell me. All right. What do we got today? Maxi? We got Camine Dia and Anthony Brodia. I mean, dude, there's a lot to fucking talk about. There is a lot to fuck brother. First of all, okay, I followed you on, I don't know what the fuck, a TikTok, switch talk, stitch, whatever the fuck. Instagram, I don't think it was.

No, I think it was, were you on TikTok? What were you on? I still, a little bit on tick-tack not a lot Well, you did the thing the the the characters the characters. Yeah, okay, so you this what I love about The technology right when people when people was the what was the one with the six second one? The six second, so it's fine. Vine. People were making movies. I'm fine in six seconds.

Creative people find ways to do shit. Creative people are like, oh, I'm gonna try doing this. And you found a face, what do they call them? No, I did that shit by accident, man. Well, what was it? Like, what do they call it? It was a face filter for that. A face filter, that's what they call it. Face filter for Snapchat. Snapchat. And you did shit by accident, man. Well, what was it? Like, what do they call it? It was a face filter from Snapchat. A face filter from Snapchat.

That's what they call it. Face filter from Snapchat. Yeah. And you did it by accident? So I was, I have a big, big Italian ball breaking family. And I was in a weight loss competition with a cousin of mine. And we started making videos and posting them

to embarrass ourselves. Like I just, I'd fucking be in his backyard seven in the morning, get him coming out of his bedroom, belly whity tighties. And I'd post it. And then he'd post something with me. So then I made this character with a face filter with an Italian accent. My father's off the boat.

I know the accent. And my sister calls me one day and she's like, dude, your video has like 50,000 views. I get, and I'm like, what? And everybody loves the accent. And my grandfather sounds like that. My uncle sounds like that. And then I just, I started doing the husband and wife show,

you know, videos and real life situations that I've dealt with. So you're doing people in your family, right? That they have no idea that I'm doing. But they're actually people in your family. Oh yeah, real life situation. It's not like a fake, no. Like I am doing, like you're not doing what other people do. Right. Like there's some people that pretend like they have Italian families and they don't my my

Your shit is real my grandfather's one of 16 get the fall from Italy and like there's one video where my aunt comes to my house And she she's like you know, I just did my backyard all pavers swimming pool and she's like hard This is too beautiful. It's like it's like a higher this is beautiful. It's like a, it's like a higher-thiridiancy. It's nice. Then I go inside the coffee, and my wife goes, what are you doing? I said, I'm watching her on the ring camera. I have the ring camera pointed right at her. She's gonna talk shit about our backyard, right?

And she looks at my uncle, she goes, my this is a little too much. It's like, oh, look at me, I got money. It's a bullshit. I feel like I got a pay. And then I come back outside, I'm like, did you say something? She goes, oh, I was just on the phone telling my friend I'm beautiful, is. I put it got a date. And then I come back outside. I'm like, did you say something? She was like, oh, I was just in the phone

telling my friend I'm beautiful days. I put it into a video. So they're real life situations, but I did that. And then I'm sitting there. I did comedy when I was like 20. I did like open mics and shit here and there. Yeah. Never really dove into it, but always been addicted to comedy.

And then when I started seeing followers, I'm like, shit, if I can gain followers, I can put people in seats. Yeah. And then get back on stage. And I mean, that's what I did seeing followers, I'm like, shit, if I can gain followers, I can put people in seats. Yeah. And then get back on stage. And I mean, that's what I did. Dude, there's a couple of people who did this, evicted this.

Yeah, with the bread and milk video. I mean, this is lightning and a bottle type shit. Yeah. Right? And here, look, I've seen you stand up. I'll be honest with you, you're funny. Right? You know what I mean?

Like, for some reason, comics, you know, somebody makes it other than the fucking, you know, struggle and the clubs and the open mics and the feature and the bed and the build and the bed. Some people hit that thing like Vic, you did it. And all of a sudden you're selling all places, making a ton of cash and making people laugh. And see, it's funny you said it that way

because I say it all the time, I have the utmost respect for the old school guys. You know, I didn't have the time to go do open mics and I utilize social media to get my name out there. Yeah, but you didn't have, this was the thing I love about this business, right? Is that you never know, you never fucking know when it's gonna happen.

No, help me. You never know and you never know when it's gonna happen. No, how? You never know and you never know what it's gonna be. If you never made that video fucking off, right? It put it out there for the people. I don't make the characters. How many fucking people, how many times have I put a video, this is the one, and I'll do it, it's the one. Every day, right?

And then the one that I'm like, you know, I don't even wanna put out, you know, like my buddy goes, oh, why don't you put that clip out of your standup where you're talking about, you know, I don't even wanna put out. You know, like my buddy goes, oh, why don't you put that clip out of your standup where you're talking about, you know, your wife not being your best friend. Right. And the fucking thing, I'm like, nah, and 10 million views.

I'm like, what the, how many men hate their wife? A lot. I'm like, holy shit. But not it, it's, I'm sorry. I'm gonna take that back. She's gonna watch this, because I know she's gonna watch this, because you're on it, and you're fucking, you're, you guys, I don't hate my wife either. I don't hate back. She's gonna watch this, because I know she's gonna watch this, because you're on it, and you're fucking,

you're, you're going, I don't hate my wife either. I don't hate her. I hate her to this weekend, but I don't, I don't hate her. I go through weekends. Oh, I've, listen, I do hate her during moments. I have a lot of moments. I've had moments with my wife.

I literally grabbed the steering wheel and went, I hate you. And she's right there. Yeah, I did this weekend. You know what she did? She laughed. She went, I could just, no, but she knows nothing's out. Like this, I flew back from Denver on Sunday,

and Sunday was my birthday. Now I wanna just golf. Happy birthday. Oh, thank you. I wanna just golf and do nothing. Right. She's like, hey, are you tired? Yeah, I had a 6'30 in the morning flight on the West Coast. She's like, let's go to the shore, right to the house. I'm like, yeah, no, it's 6.30 in the morning flight on the west coast.

She's like, let's go to the shore, right the house. I'm like, yeah, no, it's exactly what I wanted to do. You fuck, you read my mind. Jumped in the car, she drove to an F hours to the shore with my father in the front seat who didn't shut up the whole fucking ride. And he's like, oh, that's the mile high club. No, it's not the mile high clubs, mile high state. And he's like, yeah, they got a matter of one over there.

They got marijuana everywhere. Can you shut the fuck up? I want to go to sleep. We get down to the shore. And I remember, I'm on the beach and I'm just staring at her. And she's like, hey, what are you two? Are you getting lost in me? I go, yeah, just sometimes I don't stare at you enough.

What I was really thinking was, I wonder if I've seen enough CSI episodes to kill this bitch on the beach and I get caught. I'm on fumes. I'm on two hours sleep. Dude, I've actually, but she don't care. They don't care. I've been fucking, we were coming home from IKEA once and she brought too much shit and we're in the van. It's raining out. It's winter rain, winter rain. Yeah. And we're going back to our apartment in Manhattan. went their reign, went their reign. Yeah. And we're going back to our apartment in Manhattan.

And I have no help. And we have a van, we rented a van full. And in New York, you can't just leave the door. You have someone has to stay out there, right? And I have to run, I have to run. First floor, but there's still steps. And it's tiles, it's cabinets, it's heavy shit. I'm in the car, I go,

why didn't you fucking get somebody to help us? We'll do it. No, I'll fucking do it. It's not, it's not. It's not. She'll observe and you'll do it. We were in traffic in the Holland tunnel and I had a fantasy that I just got out of the car

and Bill Bixbeet it, walked back and just left forever and just went and solved crimes in like little small Florida states Very good about myself. Yeah, cuz I she'll she'll catch me like like I can't drive in a car We're more than 20 minutes of the kids are on widows and she'll say it and she's like why are you so quiet? And I'm like just you know, just think what are you thinking? Oh, I'm not I'm not some of your business when I'm thinking That's what I'm thinking and I'm talking about it. And she's like like no, what are you thinking about another bitch? I'm like in fucking traffic We don't just turns me on and she's like I want you to be honest with me I said I was thinking that the guy that modifies all my trucks when I buy him

I wonder if he could put an injection seat in my passenger seat a little look like little just a little lever and just reenact Top Gun you'll be goose I'll be maverick douchey right out of the last to right out of the fucking son with a Carried with a pet. To what I said. So it's not harsh. I don't want to kill my wife. I just wanted to fuck out of my truck. I wanted to be able to come back.

Yes. I made a question. You went from what were you doing before this popped? Finance at a card dealership. Was it money? Yeah, it was someone working. Was it good money? Very good money.

So you went from very good money, but this money is different. I mean, it's different in the sense, like I remember 2019, the first quarter. So March, I went into work 7th and I hated my job. I was only off two days and Sundays. During the week, I would go to work my daughter, at the time I saw my son was an even more,

my daughter would be sleeping when I left and sleep when I got home. Never saw her. That's a lot of hours. And I remember I walked into the office at a finance meeting at 7.30 in the morning and I said to myself, I made a bet with myself. If I made the same or more doing comedy, then I did the first quarter at work. I'm out. And I looked at my W2 and I looked at my what I made during comedy. And I was with a small agency at the time and I said fuck this. I got

up went to a meeting sat there for like 10 minutes while everybody was talking the entire company every finance manager the owners and I said can I say something and I just turned around and the owners were a dick and I just cursed everybody out. You did a Jerry McGuire? 100% when I went to have pancakes by myself and then I went home, and my wife goes, what are you doing here? What are you doing home at noon? Cause I live on Long Island, I worked in Greenwich. Jesus.

And I said, I quit. And so I'm doing comedy, full time. I said, if I, my mentality was, if I'm doing it good now, you know, making decent money every week, and not giving you 150%, it's only got to go up. So she goes, I'm not telling my parents you're a full-time comedian, it's fucking stupid.

Really? I go, well, he's Italian, 100%, a hundred of collabrains too, three inches of concrete behind the forehead. And I said, well, I'm doing it. She goes, well, I'm pregnant with our second kid. I go, that's fucking bad timing on your vagina's part.

I said, I don't even know what, would you hold it in? And then she goes, and listen, I don't mind you trying this, but go back to work tomorrow. I'm sure you didn't leave on bad terms. I'm sure you didn't burn the bridge. I go, the bridge is not existing.

I hit the bridge with four torpedoes. They actually gave me a severance check, never even come back and shop at the dealership. Wow. I can't even buy a fucking car there anymore. They paid me for like four months. And I say, listen, give me six months. If I fail fail I'll go back to work you got my word. Yeah, and that's all she wrote man And I've been busy ever since thank God so so did the comedy take off right away or it was in a build with the

Selen tech so I was with Roger Paul okay time sure he was booking me shows are selling old school and then yeah real old school and then As soon as it started getting really good pandemic it right that that and I had a hundred and fifty five gigs canceled and I don't want to I hate I hate saying it helped me but it did I remember sitting in my basement it was March 1st I have no shows and I was looking at the news and I saw, I made a comment. Goomajani was with me. I said, look at this man. All you have to watch is Tiger King or a rolling death clock

of how many people are dying. I just fucking miserable. And something just snapped. And I said, I'm gonna, I mean comedians, we give people a chance to escape reality. This is my perfect chance to have them escape. And I went overboard with the videos. I was posting a video every night, seven o'clock,

and I did it for 96 nights in a row. Will you write these things out? I was just winging them. I was putting myself in a corner. 12 o'clock, I'd come out with a preview. You know, Uncle Vinnie gets beat up by whatever. I'd put out a title with a premise Yeah, and then I would have to write a premise and a joke to back that yeah

Every every day 12 o'clock. I would have nothing to do. I'd have nothing to go on no idea I would just come up with a funny idea of a premise and then I'd post it at 12 and by seven o'clock I had to have that shit written and videoed and edited and you did it all all. Yeah, I do, yeah, videoing, the editing, yeah. Dressing up is three different people, having a conversation with myself. I'm like, it's fucking borderline, it's get so. Did your kids walk in and see it? My daughter's walked in a couple of times with me

doing a video afterwards and just sitting there in the house dressing a wig watch a football. And she's like, daddy, what are you doing? I'm like, this shit is comfortable, man. I could, this is so, it's so airy. I said, fuck, and I'm just gonna stay in it. One time I was doing a video outside my house in my truck as the woman.

And if I look at Asian guy moving up the street, and he's looking at my house, because we just did stonework. And I rolled on the window, I'm like, what's up, bro, you like it? And he goes, oh my god. I go, what's up? You guys up the street? Oh, never mind, never mind.

And just, we never seen them again. I don't even know if they still live there. But, uh, yeah, and then when I posted it, people started watching it like a show, getting, I guess, an escape, or I still get people coming to my shows, thanking me. But I started looking at my numbers, and my Facebook at one point,

I was getting 40 to 60,000 new followers a week. What the fuck? I mean, it was going... I hired fucking Danny to be my social media guy. Right. I got mush doing it. I got yo fucking doing it. I got three fucking, and I been, it's what I got fucking Danny.

116, what I get, three followers a fucking month. What the fuck? It slowed down, it slowed down. It's basically stopped on Instagram, but every video is going viral. How many people follow you on Instagram? Instagram, I think 280 something and Facebook is Facebook is starting to get back into it. I think I'm at like 814. Jesus Christ. Danny. But it's fine away. We just got to go through another pandemic and take advantage of it. I just I tell you I did me mush my cult uh, uh,

wound up doing, um, I just went at the podcasting, but I've always been fascinated with like, like, like Vine and your stuff where you, because the commitment to it, dude, I tell you right now, you know, standups can be cuts. You know, I mean, we can be fucking, oh, he made it like that, or he did it like that. I got that. You know what I mean? I hear it. Like even that Matt Rife guy is getting shit now

because he's good looking, he's got abs. He's like, yeah, dude. He was a good looking before though. What are you talking about? Dude, you want to see a picture real quick? Now listen, we have the same agent. I do. All right, because it makes me feel better,

because I don't have metabolism anymore. I mean, this guy's got fucking abs. Yeah. Great teeth. So I had to, I was like, please look like shit before you hit money and Yeah, I'll show you you're such a fucking Italian Good only a fucking I'm happy that somebody's ugly. I mean the kid was like 17, but This better be good cuz I think he's smart but this better be good because I think he's smart.

That's not him. That's fucking it's not him, Anthony. You know what it looks like? Looks like a crack conversion of January right? Anthony, that's not it. That's fucking him when he was young. At the left factor. That's it. How much better do you feel that it's not him?

That's it. Anthony. That's 100% doctored. Send that, will you please send? I mean, he looks like a goofy, bread and phrase. Yes, yes, made me feel so much better. Made me feel so much better.

But guys like Matt Reif, the fucking guy, could he have ended to me so we could pull up on the screen? Yeah, there were clubs he was made. Y'all mad if you're watching this dude, I apologize. We love you guys. You're such a god bless you look in dude now You look so good. Oh that lady that you're sure to give you the cookies. I actually rub one out there I mean dude the guys are fucking pit man. He is he is good. I mean dude. He fucking blossom like a mother There was a blossom. I mean Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah. I'll text it to you

But um, is that set there were Pete right there. That's it. It's a split. Yeah, it's a that one, but then there should be a split. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. No. I'll text it to Danny right now. Wow. But there's places that I go to now and you know, I'll ask about them and they're like, dude, we wouldn't even book him. now and you know, I'll ask about him. And they're like, dude, we wouldn't even book him.

Like right now I'm with Matt Frost from C.A.I. Dude, that's my boy. Matt, fucking Frosty, bro. I love him. He's gonna be a tell you about Frosty. I love him. Dude Frosty's the best. He's a fucking beast.

I love him. I love Frosty so much. I don't know, he's one of them. He's the reason I moved to New York. Really? I was working at a tell you in restaurant. Love him. He calls me up on the phone. Pay phone pay phone, that's how old it was.

I was up. He saw my acting reel. He goes, look at, if you want to come to New York, I want to represent you as an actor. I'd love to represent you as a comic and actor. Really want to my acting. I moved a month later. I literally moved a month later. Really burned.

I moved from him. Came down. He was a fucking, he was doing college gigs for Barry Katz. Wasn't a manager. He was just booking college. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wanted me and Pete Coriella to be his people.

So me and Pete came in, we, Pete wanted to get signed by Barry. Barry wanted nothing to do with me. Matt on his own got me three gigs, auditions. Right. Three auditions, a movie, a TV show part and like a VJ thing for like an MTV spin-off. Yeah. I booked all three out of the gate. Just fucking whack them out of the part. Dude, he heard it, man. Got me an agent from that. Yeah. I booked all three out of the gate. Just fucking whack them out of the

part. He dude. And he got me an agent from that Barry Kaz party. I want to sign. Yeah. I want to. Yeah, I'll sign with you, but I am not working with you. I'm working with only frosty. Yeah. I will never work. I want to work. He's good, man. The best. So I found out that I was like, I was talking in one day and I go, dude, man, this kid Matt Reif is killing it. He was, yeah, I know, man, I know. I said, yo, I was just a blue note Hawaii. And he sold out the whole fucking thing. I was telling me how two years ago he wouldn't have even

booked him. No, I know, man, his growth is insane. I said, you know who I'm talking about, right? He goes, Roder, you know, he's my guy. I'm his agent. I go, that's so frosty. Yo, you piece of shit, bro. I was like, you can't give me tickets to his fucking show

He goes, huh, you know, right there. I don't want to brag about my clients, bro You know what I'm talking to you with you now, but if I'm talking about Matt fucking rife So I left him a bottle of tequila at the Hawaii note I said frost if he don't write me back to the star fall me I'm gonna fucking problems. Did he write you back? No, no. Really? No. Me and him talk. 1942. You left him the killer and he didn't do anything.

And I said, yo, Matt, keep killing it brother. We got a fucking great agent. Did nothing. Yeah, nothing. Nothing. I'm gonna take care of that. Tell him. And if he didn't get the bottle, I'm gonna stab the fucking guy that works on Hawaiian

flu no. There's no way he got it. There's no way. Let's see. I like that. I have the email to prove it. I'm gonna send him a message right now. Oh shit. I think he blocked me.

Oh my God, my heart just sank. Anthony, my heart just sank. My phone was off. I thought he blocked me. I literally just shit my- Can you imagine? Look up another picture of what he used to look like. I was so fucking, I was so sad.

That's right there. I was so sad. Here we go, ready? Here we go. We're gonna leave him this fucking thing right now. You ready? Hey Matt, listen. My friend here left you a bottle of tequila

and a message. A beautiful bottle of 1942. I don't know if you drink, because you have great metabolism. So I know you got to keep the abs going, but the killer doesn't really have that many carbs. I mean, listen, dude. We'll be talking about how great everything's going for you. We have the same agent, but I mean, fucking 1942,

a blue note Hawaii. I mean, you can't say you got caught in the fire. That's not a little, not Maui. It's Maui. Yeah, I know, but blue notes and how old oh Fucked up Sweet kid good kid I had great things about him and you know what being in this business for only four years and meet in a couple people You've been doing four years four years and you're fucking you're making a living

Yeah, killing it. You sell insane on the road. You've got a fan base that loves you. It's killed it in Denver, man. Yeah. And first time I went to comedy works two years ago, didn't really do that well. And I'm a stickler.

I understand I can't sell out everything. But, you know, we tripled our numbers, and it was fucking amazing. I had my special coming out Thanksgiving weekend. You special what's the special called None of them naming it yet because if it's fucking bombs, I don't want to Come on, dude. You're not gonna bomb. No, it's just Anthony live at the parama so funny. Yeah, you're doing so good Everything's going great. Hey, we all why do we dude? I was at Metallica and Fucking the lead singer was like, well, we're gonna play this song. You're probably not gonna like it. I'm like

They're insecure, dude. Where are toughest critics? But how? There's times where I walk off stage and go, my Johnny gets pissed at me. He'll come back and goes, dude, you can't walk away from a standing ovation. I'm like, I didn't deserve it. That was a fucking horrible set.

Why? And he's like, dude, they're standing up. I'm like, dude, I wasn't happy with my set. You can't do it. I know. I know. You can't do with my set. You can't do it. I know. I know. You can't do it with everything. You can't because those people, they're your fans.

Oh, no, I'll come back out. Oh, dude, I hang out with my fans. I was just on the beach. I mean, that's not get crazy. No, no, no, I'm fucking insane with them. I give them way too much interaction, but I love them. Listen, I always say it.

Like I had five people approach me on the beach this morning, and the lady was like, I don't wanna bother with your family. I said, listen, I said say, like I had five people approach me on the beach this morning. And the lady was like, I don't want to bother you with your family. I said, listen, I said, you see how we're here on a, on a, on a fucking Tuesday. Yeah. And I'm renting that house on the beach. I said, you guys pay for it. I said, without you guys, I don't, I don't do this.

I'm at work again. Fucking hate my job. I said, so don't ever apologize for coming up to me. You guys are avoiding me. And then they took the picture and it's like, can we take another one? Listen enough is not exactly back the fuck fuck that some people do not get it. Yeah, get people don't get it. You got one picture and then you beat it.

That's I've only had maybe, I don't know, I could probably count on one hand. People that just kind of go overboard. Like I had a guy waiting outside my house. I live in a cul-de-sac. What fucking morning with his wife? With his wife. Yeah, he's a came in. We do you were coming home the night, dude? I got to get a picture with you.

I go not like this. I go, my wife's texted me as a fucking Yukon in front of my house. I think you're getting robbed when you come in. I said, well, why aren't you calling anybody? She goes, I want to see if I'm right. I go, well, you just gave me a fucking pretty good bit, but I don't want to, how big is the dude?

Can you see him? No, he's in there with a woman. I said, no one's just gave me a fucking pretty good bit, but I don't want to, how big is the dude? Can you see him? He's in there with a woman. I said, I know he's gonna rob me with their wife or their girl. And she's like, have you been fucking around with anybody's girl? That's where your head goes. I go from being mugged to being a cheater. I said, no. So I came and I was like, yo, my man, I'll take the pitch with you.

I said, you can't do this. And if you're gonna do this, bring like 19 cars, so my wife gets sick of it once it's finally moved. Where is, why you wanna get the fuck out of it? I'm right back to Westchester. I do it. Dude, Westchester, the fucking best. Run born and raised.

Dude, what part? Mayor Schell. Dude, you can't even move back to New York. No. No, sorry, New York. No, Harrison. Yeah, what's that? Harrison's good.

I'm moving up to what the fuck is it called? Where am I moving? Where's Ryan Reynolds, Bedford? Bedford, look at the place. You're doing good, huh? No, they got fucking small. Yeah, you don't do, you don't do, you don't do mediocre in Bedford.

You have to say what an accent, you know, Bedford. Bedford, you don't have in Bedford. No, but what's the other place next to it? Capacorn?? No the other one Chapel cause for a fucking twats. Yeah Right I'm losing one pound Ridge no not pound Ridge nice to No one more Ryan Reynolds of the power but he lived in What's the tona? Oh, Tony's my spot. I want to make a pack in Somers.

Katona. It's a great area. Dude, I want, I want deer in my backyard. Yeah, dude. I'm, I'm selling my place. I live in Greenberg now. I love it. 35 minutes from the city.

Yeah. Love West Chester. Right next to Arzli, great. My cigar lounge. I might be opening up a car wash in Arzli. What do you mean? Why? Car wash, cause I want to fucking do something.

Really? Yeah. Move to Katona. I want to fucking do something. Really? Move to Katona. I'm going to do it. I would love to. My buddy's living in Long Island. Long Island. I'm in Franklin Square. Please get away.

Get out. I love Long Island, but dude, it's a nightmare. I honestly think I'm going to rent people, like pay people, to just sit in front of my house with cameras like they're like paparazzi. Show your wife a move. Yeah. Why does she like that? I actually want to pay somebody to break in

while I'm on the road. Don't do that. That's right. Just fucking being my basement. She comes down for sauce. Is the family there? My mother will those two houses up. So that's why.

I gotta kill my mother one. No, no, Anthony, you don't have to go like, metaphorically speaking. No, you just have to kidnap her and set it down to fucking Guatemala. No. Yeah, you're not gonna kidnap an old school Italian woman. No, I got a great mother-in-law.

Great mother-in-law. It's just your parents still alive? Yeah, my mother's in New York, still in my father's upstate. Oh really? I was separated. Yeah, since I was 19. A lot of Italian couples,

older couples get separated now. What is that? Now, no, this was back then. They were the only off the boat. Oh, oh my God. I have an uncle of mine where I'm like, you guys argue every day that I can remember. I've never seen you guys get along.

Even when you say good morning. Good morning, bitch. Like that, I'm like, why don't you guys get divorced? You think I'm gonna divorce her? That I gotta pay her money? So she could fuck somebody else? No, I'd rather keep a miserable like me and then we'd die, hey, T-Chot.

That's a great, that is a great. I'm gonna take away of looking at marriage I'm gonna say right now. I don't give a fuck whatever it says The the Italian accent yeah the old school Italian Lady and the old school Italian guy is one of my favorite. I Can listen to you. I can listen to it all day. I had real. I had an Italian grandmother. Can't tell you that's not where you're real last name. But Kelly. It's my last name. My father last name, my father, Seseian, Steve Kelly. His father was his mother was Seseian and his father was Irish. Oh, okay. All right. And then I'm like looking and like there's no way you're real name is Kelly. My mother was all Irish.

Okay. So I had a sense. Yeah. So you look Italian. Well, my Italian grandmother who I loved and it sucks because my father was out of my life. Right. So I didn't really get that,

but I used to go over. I remember she'd be cooking sauce and Italian accent. She had, you know, I always get nervous because she'd be staring the sauce and the little nuggets of skin under armpit. Please don't fall off. Please don't fall off. Please don't fall off You know I make this like the elbow fat. Yeah, that's what they call one of those things because skin tags, you know The cook of the sun and then I'd look at it. Oh, it's gone. One of them's gone. It's in the song Hey to skin tag before but they could actually make a skin tag taste delicious. I think yeah

My mom looking make anything taste delicious, but dude, it's, they're real. Like, my, like, I told my, my, my, my dad, I said, dad, my whole act is not about you. I said, because I want, I don't even want people calling me an Italian comic anymore, because I don't want to bottleneck myself to have people thinking you have to be Italian. It's so universal. It's an old-school mentality, but I said to him, as long as you're alive, and as long as I remain married, I'm going to have endless fucking material, because it's so universal. It's an old school mentality, but I said to him as long as you're alive and as long as I remain married Yeah, I'm gonna have endless fucking material because it's everyday stuff like today We wake up and he's in the kitchen at the Airbnb and I'm like dad you want coffee and he he don't turn around

Dad and I went over and I smacked him on the shoulders. Yo, he goes. Yeah Good morning. I said Good morning. I so just talking to you. I said, are you where are you have you hearing aids? I have in my ear and aids in my bag. They're supposed to be in your ear. His reason for not wearing them. And then you don't understand. Every time I put the fuck ear and aids in my ear, I hear every little thing. That's the fucking point, dude. I don't want to hear anything. I want to live a piece in quiet I so well then we have to work on sign language because I can't keep calling you for shit

My grand that's their mentality dude. It doesn't want to wear his hair in these cuz he was want to hear anything My grandfather that did that too. He'd shut his hearing aids off at certain times of the day Because he didn't want to fucking talk to people and he would talk to himself He would come downstairs. He had the basement. But Irish people have basements. Yeah, we have furnace, but unfurnished. Orders are, orders are nicer than the upstairs. You know, exactly. Italian. Furnish. I got granite count of the apps in my basement. Irish people, they put a couple of posts, Celtics posters up, couple recliners in a TV. You know, Stan? And there's always a sink that

you piss in. You know, the game in poster. Yeah, we'll hunting exactly There's always SouthX Bruins right But back that no paths cut growing up because the path suck But they would have the SouthX 100% Bruins and Red Sox and there was the sink the mud sink You know that yeah, you piss in there. Yeah, there's no bathroom It says there was one bathroom in the. Times where bad days in the basement. No, no fucking bad day. What are you talking about?

So I remember my grandfather that would come downstairs and he'd be like, fuck bitch. It's not about bitch, bastard. Fuck them, fucking. What the fuck is she? Fucking everything. I'd be like, I walked up and I'd go, well, who are you talking to?

He goes, the only one who'll listen. And he just walked away, bitch. Fucking bastard, bitch. Dude, I love old school people, man. Old people are the fucking best. They don't care. I try to tell people, I remember old guys with, there was a couple old guys in my life that sat me down and told me a couple of things. And they go listen to me.

And they were like trying to stop me, slow me to, and I remember one guy, this chick I was dating, he said, I want you to listen to me. I didn't even know this guy. Right. And I'm at a party at a barbecue and he just took a liking to me, you know, because I was a comic and I think it was my wife's side of the family, whatever.

And he said, I want you to listen to me. He goes, don't get any credit cards. Don't get credit cards. I don't know where. He said, I don't want you to just don't get any credit cards. Don't get credit cards. I don't know where. He's like, I don't want you, just don't get them. Don't get credit cards and he goes, listen to me. Listen, life goes by fast.

It's how they go. Just don't get credit cards and slow things down. And I was like, I'm sitting like, okay man. Those are my father's words all the time. 100% right. And then where you do this week? I said, I'm going to Chicago. You got his slow down.

Slow down. Whatever you do, slow down. I said, what do you mean? Like, don't do, do you show, work hard, the bust you ass, slow down. I want to make it that. I go, but what he wanted to come tonight. Fuck!

Nah, there's no way to it. Come on! It's his birthday today. Happy birthday. I go, but what he wanted to come tonight. Fuck! Nah, there was no way to it. I fucked up. I'm on it. It's his birthday today. Happy birthday. I said, relax. He goes, you want to, you need a little company?

Yes. I said, no, I'm good. What if for the city it's a bad? A lot of people get shot. I said, what are you going to do? You don't carry. Nah, but God forbid, you know, I read the name. It's you me, then.

You, you got a lot of life to live. So you want to come to the city and die tonight? I just want you to stay at the house relax with the kids Okay, my if you need me call me on the cell phone that's never on I'll call you on the cell phone That's off he's out of his mind. Oh, man. They're all the same I love it. Are you are you down the show right now? Where are you? Oh, we came back home. I gotta leave for Chicago on Thursday. What are you doing in Chicago? I got five at the Chicago on Thursday. What are you doing in Chicago? I got five at the Chicago improv and then Sunday in Milwaukee improv. I love that. And I land on Monday and I land at 10.30

And then I go home. I grab another bag and then I head back to the airport at four and I flat out of Virginia Beach with the family. Yeah, dude. I remember it. I was telling them. Gaffa, but I take a mid-day nap. Gaffa bit. Yeah, my wife looks me goes tired. Yeah, I go I'll say you run ahead with a fucking monkey wrench Cuz they're not an hour asleep. They don't understand. She goes you could sleep on the plane I said you understand how it's sleeping on the plane. I was right you I'm gonna shoot something at you I said you understand how to sleep on the plane. I look around She's you fly first class. I'm not in fucking Delta one from Chicago I'm like this we're going by Johnny next to me peeing every six minutes. Hey, get up, get up, get up, get up. And then if he's, and then now I don't even put him next to me. So I'll put him in the, in the third row. Right. And he'll, like, he'll

come next to me when he's going to the bathroom. He'll just stop. Hey, I know who the fuck you are. Get that comic. What's his name? Metascalco. I'm gonna punch you in your face, John. Can you get this geriatric fucking bitch away from me? Goomba Johnny for people who don't know is he's been a comic for a long time. And radio legend. Fuck your arc, man. Yeah, and radio guy for a long time. Yeah. He was, you know, big motherfucking comic.

Very funny guy. I remember meeting him and I was, he's a scary dude too. He's not back then, he was like 270. He was, yeah, he's a scary dude when he came in, how you doing? He's a man's mate. He's not a, like a brick shit house. There's not too many comics that are men men.

We'll go to the gym together and he'll put on like 245s on each side. I go, what are you doing? We want to see him, you shit out my pancreas. And he goes, he goes, he said, John, you're 6'1, 2'10. I'm 5'7, 209, our weights the same. But I'm not put, dude, I'm lightweight, lot of reps. I want a tone out.

I'm gonna say, wait. Light weight, lightweight, lot of reps. I did 15 minutes shoulders today, and then a quick five minute band workout. I'm out. Dude, I'll give you a workout that'll shred the shit out of you. I lost like nine pounds in the last week and a half. We can have.

We can have. Obviously eat healthy, but I'll go to the gym and I'll work out every single body part. I won't do no more back and tries or whatever. Why? I'll do two workouts for every single body part and I'll do three sets of 20 every day. I'll take one.

Every day you do it. So I'll do two days in a row, then I'll get sore and I'll jump on a peloton that third day And then I'll do two more days two on one off. Can't do the peloton dude. Why? Because I feel it my I don't I don't I don't the it hurts my asshole. Okay. That's because of the seat Yeah, it hurts my ass. You got I sit on a pillow. What I put a fucking foam pillow down, bro Yeah, yeah Home pillow. What do you mean? I felt I was getting satomized. Yeah, dude. Yeah, it made me feel like I seats the hardest fucking seat in the world

It's the worst but now I got a sauna suit and I'll do a 30 minute ride like that video game They have yeah, whether it's like a wheel a lane break. Yeah, but the I hate riding the bike so do I but it fucking works dude. You sweat your ass off. Why do you we don't have to sweat? They I want to look like the instructors you ever ever look at the instructor and the guy's not sweating after like 30 minutes. You want to punch him right in the fucking face. Not sweat and talking regular. I've never done it.

30 minutes in, the guy's in one time. And you guys feel, you guys feel not a drop of sweat on him. I hate him. Oh my god, are his legs prosthetic? Like he's really standing and it's just fake legs moving. Yeah, I hate people. I did it one time and I, my asshole hurt so bad. Yeah, the seats are hot.

Every time it sat back down, I felt like I didn't have the right asshole muscles. Like, I swear to God. You did the right muscles. I felt like I forgot to require you to sit on my... I feel like I would have to go and train my bike asshole muscles. I don't know if that's a workout.

I think there's a thing. I don't think there's like male keicles. I think like you could put balls in your ass. I think there's a there's an asshole muscle that I don't have. Definitely not an asshole near your asshole. There should be a thing. I think their muscle. No. Yeah. Like around your asshole. Like the same muscle that holds you shit in when you like you're about to go. I think that but then there's another bike seat asshole muscle that makes it so you can sit. I'm not gonna go down this road with you.

I don't know if there is. I'm not gonna join you on the asshole bike seat muscle. How did you become friends with? How do you, all right, so you're doing, you're a car dude. You did comic back in the comedy back in the day. All of a sudden you hit on this thing. How did you become friends with Gumball Johnny? I was a fan.

Who's a comedy, stand up comic for years? in the middle of the house i was asked to do a charity event at a gotham for chas pomegranate children's event you friends with chas yeah no chas now yeah yeah chas awesome do yeah and i went down says in a basement hanging out of the uh... the economics of the christmas stuff in our uh... johnny and uh... i think we'll watch johnny and he's a good time and he goes oh he goes out and he's like, what's up, man? He goes, oh, he goes, I've been hearing good things about you, dude, you doing well. I said, yeah, I said, that's not what I want to talk about.

I said, you almost hit me when I was 19 years old, you're fucking car. What? He goes, bullshit. I go, Pelham Road. I was like, I was 19 years old, so it was 1999. You lived in the buildings and I know that because I used to deliver food to you from modern restaurant.

He goes, you worked at subbies place, uh-huh He goes I didn't almost hit you. It was my day off. I was walking across street, degrees He next to grab a burger he goes what car was I in black car vet convertible he goes dude I apologize I almost fucking hit you. I said the eight you that he goes I used to come out of a driver like a bat out of hell and I remember I sat down listening to his bit listen to his whole set and We did two shows together and his stuff. Relic see, people, people work together a lot and you'll have two comics that are very funny in their own right, but they don't understand that their comedy might not attract to the same crowds. Yeah. I realized his did. And my crowds started getting feedback,

hey man, you know, I can't believe Guoma Johnny's that funny. I just fucking do's been around forever. Yeah. And the shows just got better and better. And then, you know, a lot of, a lot of comics asked me, they go, Johnny's a headliner.

Why do you have him? Right. Once you want someone not as strong to open for you, I said, why? I said, he goes strong. I have to fucking raise my bar to just kind of hit another peak of my comedy. He keeps me on my toes.

And at the same time, I keep him on his toes. So, like, you know, after like two years, he started writing because, you know, you'll come to a show on Friday night. My Saturday night shows 40 minutes of different shit. Really? Oh, I hate doing the same shit. Well, I don't know what the fuck you talking about, dude.

I probably have like nine hours of material on my phone. I don't know what you're doing. I went to Denver and shit happened at the Airbnb. And I spoke about it, I'll write it down, use it, and then I'll do different shit. And I'll keep the classic stuff in there, but I never want anyone hearing the same thing, you know, over and over. And then because I was writing so much,

he had to write and change his shit. Okay. So we just stayed on each other's toes and, that's great. And then I'll get people, hey, how long you think he's gonna have? And I told Johnny, I said, dude, I don't even fucking how big I get.

I hear my guy. When you want to stop, you stop. Really? I said, be a 67. So it's gotta be soon, because you're forgetting a lot of I said, I mean you forget the bad you don't forget your bit But you forget what a bathroom is you forget your bedroom is well is he like You know, it's it's weird because like he did he was a radio legend on the radio. I don't know how he personally does it

It's tiring for me up 43. Well, where what is he doing? Is did he just retire? What and then he's doing what is he doing like what's with me? It's a it me up 43. Well, what is he doing? Is did he just retire? What and then he's doing? What is he doing? Like what's he doing? It's a, it's a, it's a, it's what you does this thing. Is he, does he have a family? He's married. Yeah.

He's married. Was he living Long Island? No, he was in Manhattan and he lives in Eastchester now. Westchester. Oh, he lives in Westchester. Okay. Yeah. That's great man.

It's towards me every week. And you guys just became friends from a charity gig. From that, we did two shows and then I said, hey, well, I'm gonna have you on next week and I'm gonna have you on next week. And then, you know, he was like, dude, you're like, you're not doing shows with 40, 50 people. You're selling out fucking thousand people here,

1500, 300. Yeah. I said, no, my name's grown. And he's like, okay, I said, but dude, it works. Your comedy works with my fans. It's old school shit, relatable shit. And I bring these guys, so it doesn't work. Because my fans are like, why did you have mentally ill,

autistic people in front of you? We, I should get an Italian Irish guy to go in front of me. Yeah, I mean, I could work. I mean, I don't want to fire them, but I mean, I got to work. I could use a fucking Buffalo Guinea and I got a Mexican. But you guys all tore together? I brought these guys come with me.

I bring them all. Nice. Yeah, I mean, I have a few guys that I don't tour with. I don't tour. I'm not selling out fucking theaters every weekend, you know? But I, what you're doing, I did. And I just, I don't want to do it anymore. It's a lot.

I like, I only do clubs that I like. I only go places that I like. And if there's a town that doesn't use me or that I don't like that club or that whatever it is. Right. I'll go in and do a smaller club. Right. And I'll just go in and, you know, I do shows that are fun and then I enjoy because what was happening with me with the five shows that this thing and, you know, Sundays and

blah blah blah. I was, I was burning out and I was starting to hate the business. I was starting to hate the business. I was starting to hate comedy. So with, you know, I actually talked to Frosty about it, Justin, I was just like, man, can we, can we switch this up a little bit? Can we not do Sundays? Can I only wear clubs that I like

and can I do them every year at the same kind of same time? So it's more like a job, more like a tour every year of the same play. You don't want to like see I'm at the point where I'm I've been like this as I was a kid. I can't be serious. I always look for the humor and everything. Right. So I'm so fucking addicted to this that it's it's almost an obsession.

Yeah. Where like, you know, like for instance Frosty calls me and he goes, Hey man, I got a private gig for you in AC. Um, in December, it pays really well. So I'm gonna move your Myrtle Beach gig. My Myrtle Beach weekend. I go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. My fans have been waiting me to get to Myrtle Beach this year.

No, you can't do that. He goes, what's he, how the fuck are you gonna do it? I said, at a Thursday, I'll do a show Thursday. I'll do two shows Friday. I'll fly to AC Saturday morning. I'll do the show in AC Saturday night. I'll fly a show Thursday. I'll do two shows Friday. I'll fly to AC Saturday morning. I'll do the show in AC Saturday night. I'll fly back Sunday morning. I'll do two shows Sunday night.

And he goes, you can't. I go, why not? You're gonna be tired. I go, I'll sleep Monday and Tuesday. And then Johnny's like, dude, you're not fucking normal. Most guys would move it. I'm so addicted. I don't want to lose shows.

I don't want to lose shows. Well, this is a time to do how old are you? Just turn 43. Yeah, buddy, this is when you hold you I'm 52 You look good. You're good. Good skin. I'm fucking I'm you get good Fuck man rave for rife. I thought I was fucking I'm beautiful Matt is a good looking fuck so look at now. I mean there's one guy I would think about circle jerking because I would also go viral So there's two aspects.

That would be good. You know, it's like, oh, you circle jerk, somebody who, man, right. Oh, okay. You could do it with one of those face things on as like an aunt. So it's not me. It's not you. You want? You're not.

Are you got a nice cock? Yeah, I can do something like that. It's a nice and smooth. I know you're not looking the same a couple years ago, but you know you know, look at the same a couple years ago, but you pitch a deal, look at the same all the time. Yeah, I could do that. And how I'm pitching myself just up is my aunt, which makes it even fucking weirder. Because then it's like how many times have you done that? Do you? Do you have to be clean with your fans? Because your stuff, the stuff they get you from on the internet is not dirty. Because I, so I used to be,

and I realized a lot of kids Were watching so I told them down for you did yeah, okay, but my standup is totally different my standup So the reason why I'm I'm probably have a couple people that we're talking to right now for the special I'm probably gonna put it out on YouTube myself and give it away I just I've been betting on myself since day one man and a lot of these a lot of these platforms I mean, I don't have to name them for everybody to know but you know Can you edit this out? Can you edit that out? I don't really want you talking about that This is gonna upset people and I'm like dude if I'm not gonna put something out. That's me

I don't want to put it out. You're not gonna chop my show Why so I could just fucking say I'm on Netflix or I'm on Hulu? That don't mean anything to me Doesn't mean anything to anybody and I, I don't even want the fucking check that you guys are offering me. My money will come when my fan base grows because of the awareness that I just have because of that special. So I'll probably put it out.

I'll just fear it did the same thing. Yeah, do, Ari, a fucking man, right? He put his special on YouTube and look, now his world tour is because of that. Andrew Schultz did it, you know. I'm just, I'm gonna put it out for free. I don't care about the money. I want more people known who I am.

And I don't want to, you know, I'm not gonna water my shit down. Like you're comedy. You're not gonna water your shit down. Yeah. You. I did. I haven't. It has affected, you know, things because.

Did I get throttled all the time, man? Throttled, yeah. I mean, Instagram. Instagram, Facebook. But, you know, you have fucking five geeks. No offense, guys. But five geeks, you guys are four. Sitting at a keyboard, you know, making decisions for people.

Like my fans tell me there's times where I'll put a video out and a disclaimer will pop up and they're like, oh, do you really want to continue following this guy? If not, you can block his videos from here. I might do it. Let people fucking decide what they want, man. It's fucked up. It's fucked up and I'm, yeah, but you know what?

I mean, all that shit you gotta let go of because it's not worth trying to control because look at you put a video out there and it took off, you had no control of it. None. It just happened. Now you fucking hanging out with Gumba Johnny, you're touring everywhere.

You got one of the best agents in the business, you're making money and you're happy. How fun, I love that shit. It's, listen, I pinch myself every fucking day, man. But again, I have people in the business that, you know, I hear through the grapevine. Oh, he's another Instagrammer. And I get it because dude, I've went to a couple comedy shows.

You know, I'll go to like governors, I'm called the owner James. Love games. James, fuck dude. Hey, chief. Hey, oof, oof. Always in a fucking, 90 degrees, I used to fucking suit. What do you have built in fans, dude?

I'm gonna teach you, I'm sweating. But I'll pop in there a couple of times and he'll have an Instagrammer, a TikToker that has to play sold out five shows And I'm sitting down. I go this ain't comedy. I have such a respect for comedy. Right. This is not comedy This is someone speaking as a following. They're clapping not laughing. Yep. This is and and that gets me pissed when people put comedian Instead of influencer like everybody thinks now they can do stand-up comedy and it's such an art for me

And I have so much respect for the guys that do it that it fucking I get up and I leave I'm like dude, I'm not watching this shit the guys so my anxiety and people are clapping. Yeah, I have it I have it. I'm on medication. Aren't we all? No, we're not dickhead. I'm not on medication I should be with this ain't comedy. I'm not an medication either and I think I should be But the best thing is people like us that need it and don't take it and we, we, we would operate without it. But we operate, but we're, it's borderline. We're borderline, right?

Borderline. I mean, we're borderline being fucking arrested for something. Oh, I could get fucking locked up with so many things, but what kind of car you got? I'm a car fanatic, dude. That's a great question. I'm gonna sound so bougie. I have a, I've got a 2020

Dodge ram black widow Pickup truck with a six inch lift kitten fucking a train horn. What the fuck is it? My wife told me not to get it My wife told me not to get a quick story wife tells me not to get a pickup. Here's me on the phone my uncle I go hunting. I want to pick up every fucking hunter needs a pick up right I get off the phone I got a buddy of mine in my house. She goes, you're not getting a pickup. I look at my boy, he goes, ooh, turns his head, does one of those. I said, what are you talking about?

I'm getting a pickup. So she said, you don't need a pickup. I said, you don't need to have to shit you have. Technically, after water, we don't need anything. I said, I'm getting a pickup. Do not, I'm going to pick up Gabriella. Anthony, I swear to fucking God, don't you make me come home and see a fucking pickup in our driveway.

I'm telling you, right now, she leaves. My boy goes, dude, you know, listen, that shit. No, I am not. Get your fucking shoes on. We're going into dealership. I walk in a Dodge, a Ram, Westbury. And I go, what's up, man? You guys got pickups, right?

He goes, yep, well, what's one you're looking for? I said, I want a pickup truck that is the most obnoxious truck in the world that I'm going to type in 2021 black widow, Dodge Black Widow, Matt Gray. It should come up. So I said, my wife told me not to get a pick up. I want to bring on most obnoxious pickup home and piss her off and he goes, that's the one you got. And the fucking thing, I mean, I have to count to three and jump out of it.

That's how high it is. That one right there, the first one. Yep. That's it. Click on. That one right there, the first one. Yep. That's it. Click on that. Let me see it. Yeah, it's a bad bitch. I mean, dude, that is a nice,

fucking car. I don't know who that is. That's some fucking douche. But I got train horns on it on the ground lighting. I have that. I've got a, I've got a G 63, a G wagon. Whitewood Red. Love that.

And I got an Audi R8. You get the Audi? So the Audi R8, we're sitting in front of the house when they playing with the kids. And I knew the truck was coming. I got a delivered from Oklahoma. I found the pre on like 2020. And car comes up with a trailer.

And she goes, you got another fucking car. Whoa, a trailer pulls up to the house. Oh, this is an Anthony's got a car. I said, no, I said Andy loves car. Do you think that might be Andy's? So she goes, all right, she goes, sorry. I go, no problem. I said, but I'm curious to see what it is.

Back opens up and you just hear, and it pulls out, I go, oh my God, it's so much nicer in person. And she goes, what do you see? Do you get a car? I know, shut the fuck up. Let me enjoy this. And she goes, Anthony, I go, Michelle, let me stop? I know, shut the fuck up. Let me enjoy this. And she was Anthony.

I go, Michelle, let me stop you. Is this gonna make us get divorced? She was, no, well then I don't have to listen to this. I jumped in the car and fucking took off. Why, you, let me ask you, are you hunt? Oh yeah, I'm a big hunter. What the fuck are you talking about, dude? Hunt, bear, deer.

Wait a minute, that year's a great shot. There's two worlds colliding, right? Yes, that's my father's, and my cousins, my, oh my cousins, my own my cousins, huh? We just sort of, oh, we all have property upstate in New York. Where? My father has house and Gil Boa, my cousins and cats goes, you go out, you camp?

No, I fucking sit in a tree stand. So you go up in a tree stand, you kill something and then you know, you not a gutted, gutted everything. But I gotta go, I wanna go hunting. I said best thing about that. I wanna hunt. How do I, how do I, I wanna go hunting. It's the best thing I've ever done. I wanna hunt. How do I, how do I, I wanna go hunting?

Will you teach me how to hunt? Dude, the fuck teacher had a point, that's something, you shoot it? Yeah, but this might be a little bit. Have you ever shot a gun? Yeah, so I'm not an asshole. Yeah, all right, so you can hunt. I know.

But you got like, friends, I have, how do you get it? Do you, do you skin the deer? I do everything. Well, no, no, I don't skin it. I, I'll cut it. I'll, well, they call it dressing. I'll cut it open. Yeah, feel dressing.

I'll cut it open, leave everything there, hanging up, drain the blood, bring it to the butcher, they chop everything up, mount the head. So they take this out. I don't chew female deer. I don't chew baby deer. It's got to be six points or more. Really?

I'm going to Illinois hunting. I want to go to, I want to do a Saskatchewan trip. I have gear that it's so funny. Two years ago, my thing is I get cold quick. I love the cold, but I get cold. My feet get cold. So my cousin goes, you got to buy a Sica gear. I go, what's the hell's that?

It's a 1300 dollar outfit, but you'll literally need nothing underneath. So we go out, it's like 25 degrees out. He goes, what are you doing? I said, put it on my gear. I had an underarmor Sica. I had fucking a fur, like a sheepskin, sit-good vest, and the coat. You're gonna die.

I go, dude, it's 25 degrees out. I said, what would you like me to wear? He goes, tank top, boxers, and that's it. I go, you're on heroin. It's 25 degrees out. Plus, you have a beard, dude. I have no beard. You have extra installation.

So I put everything on. I'm on the tree stand, and I'm sitting there for like 20 minutes. And I'm like, oh my God, dude, I'm on the tree stand and I'm sitting there for like 20 minutes and I'm like, oh my god I'm fucking sweat. I get undressed down to my boxes 25 degrees and then I put everything else on I leave all my clothes in a pile and I come back holding clothes and I was like do a dude I shot a deer He was the fuck's that I go y'all braw sweat man You know you got undressed and shot a fucking deer. I go my very slow dresser, dude I did it very seductively. I said, I took everything off slowly, while the years were walking by.

But I killed the deer. Yeah. And you have the deer meat, do you eat the meat? I love the meat. Really? I do the front legs. We turn it into like smoked meat. The back legs we put in, we turn it into a venison perjuta

and then we eat everything else. See that, dude? I got it. Listen, I fly fish. I'm a, I like fly fish. Mm-hmm. I can't fly fish. Dude, I'll take you back. I do fishing, like deep sea fishing, two in a shoot. I can't fly fish. Dude, have I like fly fishing. Mm-hmm. I can't fly fish dude. I'll take it. I do fishing like deep-sea fishing

Two and a shit. I can't fly fish do have you ever try fly fishing? Never I know I did try it once and Just that whole fucking thing. No, you take me up now. You don't have to do that You can do if you don't want to do the right the the river run you can let it sit you can do You can do you can do Japanese Everybody everybody thinks of Brad Pitt doing this fucking big J cast You could do you could do Japanese. I think about every now everybody everybody Thinks a Brad Pitt doing this fucking big J cast sitting in the waiters just yeah, it's not it's not that's bullshit I can't believe you just mentioned that movie dude. Yeah, that's not that's not a class. It was always on HBO And I do the river runs through the way to Japanese all you have to do is this flip it over. That's it

I'll take you fly fishing if you take me hunting. Yeah, deal, dude. I wanna kill a deer. Deal. Here's why. Because I believe that, look, I love deer. I don't wanna hurt him. I love animals.

I love you doing it for your animal lovers. No, I don't give a fuck. I've cuddled with deer before. I've nurtured a baby deer back to life. I'm just saying. But I wanna shoot the same thing. I want to take my son too. Oh, your son.

He's 10. Perfect age. I think you should learn to kill, to get food. Be able to do that. This is if the world ends, electricity goes away. If you got a gun, it's a man-me-nation. I mean, this is the first time I've actually thought that the world could end. I think we're at the ending.

I think we're at the end. I think we're at the ending. You think this is it? 100% to it. Really? Do you got stuff ready to go? Oh yeah. You got a house upstate? Yeah.

You do? Yeah, right in the mountain. In the mountain. I got a little tiny house up in White Mountains. Yeah, no, I got a house in the mountain. My father's got chickens. We got deer bear. You got chickens.

How do you get chickens? Who's up there taking care of the chickens? My daddy lives up there. He lives up there in the house. Oh no, shit. He's three hours up. So there's an Italian guy up on the woods somewhere. get chickens. Who's up there taking care of the chickens? My daddy lives up there. He lives up there in the house. Oh no shit. Three hours up. So there's an Italian guy up on the woods somewhere.

With chickens. With chickens. Gonna go to the chickens and then go to the little room. Yeah, last week he calls me and he goes, you know what I found out? Something very interesting to me. I said, what's that? He goes, I was making chicken soup and I couldn't

know finish. It was a lot of soup. And I said, man, I don't want to throw the chicken away. It's a fuck of waste. So I went in the backyard and I fucking, I said, let me see if these fucking chicken are going to eat. And I give it a chicken chicken. And they eat the side of my baby. You gave chicken to chicken. You sick fuck. He goes, yeah, I wanted the chicken. You know, to realize he was eating the mother. Ah. You're a sick bastard. That's pretty funny.

Ah, dude. I get the shit my father said, he just told me now. On the way here, he goes, uh, I just defined out, you're cousin Marco, he said, take the same drug, I take it for the diabetes to lose weight. I say, oh, yeah, he's doing the pen. Oh, it's epic. Yeah, so I know the name, but I ask him every time I tell him I forget

because the only way my father remembers, he has to sing the commercial out loud. Dude, I bust my god. I go, what's the name of the medication? He said, what's the matter with your memory? I said, I keep forgetting, dude, I got someone's shit going on. It's him. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Zampic, you know. I go, why do you finish the song? Because it's a Vedic catchy. It is catchy, dude.

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¡Dominoos! Pitsa. Buscas contenido gratis. ¡Au wanna be see! Fluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con más de 120 canales, dedicados a películas, series, gremene, realities y contenido infantil. Fluto TV, ven a verlo, sin pagar nunca. Vuelve a la Champions después de un mercado de fichajes donde los árabes nos han goleado. Los club europeos tendrán que apostar por su plantilla, pero tu con creato apuesta de Codere podrás apostar a distintos resultados en un mismo partido para aumentar la emoción

y la posibilidad de multiplicar tus ganancias. Descárgate la app, registrate en codere.es y crea tu apuesta. Codere más de lo que esperas. Es un c****** Ya, te hay que hacer. ¿Qué te va a hacer? Yo quiero c******, yo quiero c**ar el c**o. Porque yo creo que necesito hacer esto

porque si el c**o se va a hacer... Es, así que es el mayor ron, es c**o de la tristanza, solo una con la naturaleza, escuchando todo el sentido. ¿Cómo lo sé? ¿Qué es c**o? ¿Qué es c**o? rush is sitting in that tree stand, just one with nature, listening to every sound. How do you know? And then what deer to shoot and what deer not shoot. Anything less than three points on one side.

What the fuck is that? So three antlers on one side of house. So one, two, three. If it doesn't have that, I'm not sure. How do you know if it's a boy or girl? You know, antlers. Antlers is a guy. Yeah, well deer still only have two gender, so we're good.

If that changes, we're fucked. I don't know if they can still identify. Yeah. I shot an eight pointer. That's a doe. No, but she identifies as an eight pointer. He has antlers on one side. No, so like he has the rack, we call him a rack, right?

He has to have at least three on one side. That's a man. No, no, antlers and generals in there. How do you know it's a man? It's a man. Oh, so no antlers female. Yeah, I mean, small antlers female. Yeah. And why don't small antlers you can't see?

Check if he has balls. Oh, why? Why can't, why don't you, what are the females take shitty? No, the female, baby deer are the best, believe it or not, it's veal. But I won't fucking shoot a baby deer. Baby deer is a veal.

Yeah, it's a young meat. I don't know, it's veal. It's like veal. It's so off. It's not as hard. But you, because the deer says they get old and they get muscular. Like, bambi?

Yeah. But are there people who shoot bambi? There's people that shoot everything. Can you shoot a bambi? Is it legal? And if you want, yeah. It's legal. Yeah.

Oh, shit. I won't shoot a baby deer. I won't shoot a female deer. I won't shoot a female bear. How do you know? How do you tell us a female bear? If there's cubs around, I won't shoot it. If there's not cubs around anywhere near her her and it's big, I'll shoot it.

Yeah. He shot a bear? No, I've never shot a bear yet. Dude, I saw, I came out of the store up in the hamster. We got a house up there. Tonne bear up there. They had the bear gutted way in and out front of the store. Yeah, tonne of bear, new hamster.

Tonne bear in Jersey. Wild. Yeah. I've seen a tonne bear. I've never shot one. Pretty fucking wild. Yeah, the guy said he was He was hunting the bear stocking it trying to find it where it was Right, he didn't have his gun. He was just crawling up this hill and he came up and the bear was like right where you are

Well, they're not they won't attack you unless they have a comes. Yeah, he had the bear turned around looked at him He had a slowly crawl back to go get his gun. Oh, wow and he shot it. I've had bears like charge some of my boys. Really? Yeah, charge right out of them. Not going after them, just charging and they were in their path. So it looks like you got a fucking 300 pound black bear coming out of you. I mean, you will shit your pants. They'll kill you.

One swipe at their pole. Grizzly is done. I want to ch hunt for Grizzly. I fuck you. Nope, I don't want to do that. I want to hunt for Grizzly. I tell you, I want to shoot a dare and I would love to maybe bear hunt. But here's the thing with, I tell me if I'm wrong. I want to hug for Grizzin. I tell you, I want to shoot a dare, and I would love to maybe bare hunt, but here's the thing with, I tell me if I'm wrong.

I feel like if I have a knife on me, I could take a bear. 100% not. Hang on one second now. No, you don't even have a fuck. Let me, you would probably have a hard time with a dog. Hang on one second. It's harder than you think.

One second. I know, I got a bear. Hang on, a black bear. No, but hang on, let me finish my thing. I don't even want you to finish it. I'm gonna stab him like a black black black bear. No, but hang on let me finish my thing I'm gonna stab him like a prisoner's tabber. So he's gonna get on top. I'm going No, now he's gonna swipe one fucking point you you He grabs me I grab him What do you think he's gonna do when he grips just let you like I'm gonna give you one shot

No, you don't want a bear on you dude No, no, you're not even gonna near it. It's scary shit, man. Really? Do it. Do it. Do you shoot it? Where do you shoot a bear? I'm on the New York. No, I ain't fucked it. Oh, let me finish the sentence before you shoot a bear? A bear? Where do you shoot a bear? I'll sketch one in the lungs. You want to shoot most animals, elk, deer, bear. You want to shoot behind the right shoulder, behind the front shoulder. That's their heart and lungs. That's their long, their heart. That's the vitals. Yeah. Really? That. That's I want to go into it in front. I think it's behind now. I got a couple of questions. Feel that shoot. You say gravy or sauce sauce gravy goes on turkey.

I thank you. What the fuck is that? I hate people to go when you put me in it becomes gravy. No, it becomes meat sauce. Yeah, it's a ball. And I go to Italy. No, but there's no word in the Italian language that fucking means gravy It's ragul sugo. Well, I don't understand where it came from it's a Jersey Philadelphia thing. I think fucking trash Yeah, it's such a shit argument. Gravy is turkey. My father will flip his shit Really no real quick. Yeah, what's it? Oh this is going to make me so happy. Watch this. My follow put the end to it. Off the boat of time without a fucking citizenship.

Don't say that. He has no citizenship. He has a green card. Just keeps renewing it. I'll put it there you go. Is he at your house? I'm gonna pick up now. This yet you house. Yeah, they're all my house. 930.

Is he sleeping? Maybe he's napping. No. It's great. It's great dead air time. I'm gonna try herself, but I doubt it. Can you get picked up into the... My wife has a...

That's a bit of she calls me down, I'm on the road and I don't pick up. Oh you're fucking! I'm actually masturbating. She picked up. Oh my gosh, she picked up. Hello? Hey! Why am I on the podcast?

It's not about you. Where's my dad? He's sleeping on the couch. Can I say something? Can I say something to her real quick? Yeah, that's the first time a guy ever did an impression of his wife and it was accurate I'm trying to go look at his sleeping. We came up the kids it's summertime the kids don't have to have a bedtime Oh my god you guys it's hilarious. She's The kids don't have to have a bedtime. Oh my god. You guys it's hilarious. She's In these phone. I love her. Anthony. Oh my god. I love her. I fucking love it.

What? Who do you love? I love that's not me. When did I say that? I said that I love Robert loves you. I said I love you. I'm sorry. I don't know you but I love you I love you. Robert loves you. I I says I love you. I'm sorry. I don't know you, but I love you. We look at oh my god. This is great. Yeah. This is all real. This is not fabricated at all. Yeah. What's up? Not much, not much. Listen, they we have a question for you. Can I have a question? Yeah, Robert wants a Robert's gonna have not your son Robert. He only thinks there's one Robert right, guys, he's gonna ask you hold on hold on ask your question real quick, okay? Yeah, is there a Is is when people say saw so gravy Sure

Where do you where do you put gravy what do you put gravy? Where do you put gravy? Where do you put gravy? Gravy you put on top of Turkey and I've been sitting on his own. Alright, thanks, that took you later. It was nice to hear you. Fucking guy, he never fails. I've been sitting on his own, that means the front of your sister. So you either put it on Turkey or the front of your sister.

That's great. That's fucking great. Thank you for that. And that's why my podcast goes live. That's fucking great. Thank you for that. And that's why my podcast goes live. It's great. So it's all us. Apparently, gravy is used for sexual purposes for your siblings. Fuck.

I wish I had a fucking dad like that. You could borrow him from him. I would hang out with him every day. I'm gonna start Airbnb for fathers. You can just rent my dad. I don't have a dad. I'm gonna call it air DAD. I'll do it.

I'll brand him. I would brand him to hang out with my son to teach him stuff. I'd fucking hang out with him. Smoke cigars. He's a smoke cigar. He used to smoke cigarettes. He doesn't smoke anything. You smoke cigars?

Yeah, what's it on? Are you doing? We're gonna hang out. I don't smoke manly cigars though. What do you mean? I smoke acids. You fucking get those. I smoked Manly Cigarza. What do you mean? I smoked acids. Oh, you fucking get those.

No, the coobas. Coopa coobas. They're like little flavor tips. Yeah, dude, that's ghetto. I'm not smoking fucking backwards. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. You're saying?

I can't do any. Listen, and I like the coffee flavored one. Oh God. Yeah, jobbers. Oh, yeah. That's ghetto. Somebody gave me Cuban brothers. The brother Brothers what?

Yeah, but he don't ever do that again. Yeah, call me a box box a Cuban. Who'd you give him to brought him to my show? Her father owns his car, he's brought me three boxes of what's a what's a? What's the? No, what's the most famous Cubans? No, no, no, the cohebos, but they were coheba.

Is there a coheba louder as air? Yeah, yeah, no, cohebos, but they were cohebos. Is there a cohebos out reserve? Yeah, yeah, three boxes. What did you do with them? I gave them away to who? I think I gave a box on my body. You know, Ozzy from governors, big eyes. Yeah, yeah, gave him a box. And who else?

I think I put my golf bodies. The fuck? I don't smoke a heap. I can't get strong, dude. Like Johnny smokes fucking LFA's, I think. Yeah, La Flore. Yeah, yeah, the great dude the great dark is shit. I got a cigar for you. What? Foundation right I like Connecticut's yeah the found the the the the main the from Connecticut. Okay. I like mild man I can't have good. I got a cigar for you. It's a light mild cigar. Right won't hit you at all

Okay, I can smoke I can wake up in the morning and smoke it I can only smoke when it's cold out and when I'm golfing you're not supposed to smoke when it's cold Right because the heat from the cigar and they cold right pops the cigar open Which we fucked you know good it feels a smoke in a winter I'm not saying it doesn't feel good, I'm just telling you what happens. What do you pop to cigar? Does the heat inside of the cigar cold? Right.

It will pop the cigar, like, oh, burst it. You understand? I've never had a cigar burst. How cold is it have to be? 22 point, I don't fucking know. It's too cold, I'm not outside. I got questions. Go ahead.

I don't know, you're so fucking Italian. You can't even let it go. Do you tell me what I'm doing? Italian, you can't tell us what we're doing is God. I love you so fucking Italian. You can't even let it go. You Italian. Italian, you can't tell us what we're doing is wrong. I know. I know. You want me to give you a fucking degrees. My marriage is so fucking tough.

You grew up in Westchester. Listen. What's the, what's the, what's the, uh, this Italian step, we have Italian stereotypes. And we want to, we want to go over these with you. Uh, and we, I wish your father us so long, but listen, no, because I don't want your wife to, I mean, your wife, dude, anytime a guy does the wife, it's never that. Like I do my wife on stage.

Spot on. It's, it, she went, what the fuck in, I mean, wow. It's spot on. I love, she sounds like she's pisser. Yeah, she sounds funny in her own way. Yeah, my, my expense. All right, here we go. Yeah Italians are obsessed with food. Yes. Okay. Yes. There's another one 100% obsessed. Atians. He paused and pizza every day No, that's true. No

Every day no Not when you want to fucking see a dick in a shower. You don't. All right. Ready. Here we go. Every day. Even I had pizza today. Five slices. So I should have fucking. You did five. It's a new pizza rear by me and how am I to get my plug. Dario's in West Ham said best pizza. I've had a long time. It's even better. I can't say better. It's up there with Johnny's and Mount Vernon. I've never had Johnny's what Mount Vernon what's up near me I never had Johnny's on Lincoln Avenue and Mount Vernon. This is why I love it's that paper Finn he's talking to me like I just said something about his mother I know and I all I did was not eat I get like that when someone doesn't watch a movie you love

You've never seen goonies fuck is wrong with you. You know goonies the chunk is my lawyer. No, he's not. Yeah. Chunk. Chunk is my entertainment lawyer. Chunk Truffle? Chunk?

Or the shuffle Truffle? Listen to me, Jeff Cohen, right? Chunk is one of the best entertainment lawyers in the business. Oh my God, I didn't know that. Talk to Frost. Yeah, I will. Yeah, he's the best. Fuck, I think I need one.

He's the best. He's right there. There he is, Jeff Cohen. That's what he looks like now? Yeah, I mean, what? No, I need to put a the better is right there. There is Jeff Cohen looks like now. Yeah, I mean What no, I need to put a curly hair wig on him. He lost weight I'm really all right. Let's go back ready. Yeah Italian don't look look at me. At times communicate with their hands 100% 100% all right at times a lazy and always a late Lazy no my father's a hard work in motherfucker. Um, I'm a hard worker.

Lazy, if they don't love what they do. Okay. Yeah. But late, I think this mix in I think this is mix. It is. I'll. So when I was coming here, I got home, I calculated it was going to take me 57 minutes to get here. So I knew I had to leave my house by 715. I laid on the couch to 705, then jumped up and rushed. Am I my wife's like, I don't know why you always do this? I say, because I get every minute out of life. Minute, yes. I don't want to be early.

Thank you. If I'm early, the fuck I want to do. Right. I don't know. I sat here waiting for you. Sorry. Horrible. Fuck three minutes.

How long will you wait? 20 minutes. Well, I was, I was 20 minutes late. Yeah. No, not 20 minutes late, but I was seven minutes early. You see all the fucking autistic guys take my side. No, you weren't. He was not looking at it.

He was really early. In our eyes, he came after you. No, I got here like 813. Okay, here we go. All the tie-ins, what? Mafioso. Yeah, oh, wait a minute. That's the best thing you about that again. Well

We don't know anybody in the mob. I've never said I don't know anything about Question was our all-attained Mafioso. I know a lot of people in the mob you do. Yeah a ton of people really They cool you know, yeah, did they come to you at one and stuff when you became famous? You got to do this thing. Yeah, they're like hey, uh, what do you? Famous um you gotta do this thing. Yeah, they're like hey, uh, what do you what what's the book got to give you? I say why I want you to do a show. Yeah, I want you to perform for my eight-year-old son's birthday No, Anthony come on. No No, you say no. Yeah, you know many people say no to me I'm not fucking performing for an eight-year-old kid, right? Yeah, but he's got all of us there

I'm not I'm not doing a birthday party. I want they say nothing I like and he's like a car. I love your car I do not you still wear your car. I can't find it if I find it if I could find it Caldor's closed where Caldor's I love Caldor's good. I fucking I just Caldow's I love Caldow's good. I fucking I just I just Dude you got a retire cologne car. Do you anywhere jup I get canoe if I could no yeah I just wear polo sport. I love polo I can start a jack dude. I want polo. I smelled so good in polo

Dude Caldow was the original Kmart. Yeah, Walmart. That... I bought a cool order, pillow sport, jupe, jacar, and e-C-mi-yaki. What the fuck was that? E-C-mi-yaki, it's a guy with no arms, I think. I remember I got angel, you remember angel? No, I never had angel. Angel's good, it smells like chocolate. Aqua the Joe.

Oh, dude, I just got, was it a scape, is that it? No. I only wear a creed. Dude, I have... If you mix creed with? Is that it? No. I only wear a creed. Dude, I have a- If you mix creed with Downey Fabric Swarthler, fucking chick magnet. What the fuck are you talking about? I just, my wife switched to Downey Fabric Swarthler

and I spray creed on top of it and fucking, I've been getting attacked by women left and right. Just coming up smelling me like fucking Biden. Just, just sniffing the shit out of me. Just sniffing me like crazy. Could somebody take me, take another one of that please do that. I want to try to do it. Do a downy, wash your clothes with downy fabrics,

off the dryer, and then spray down. Can I just get the fabric on and rub it on me? And I do that. Yeah. I don't do it in public. All right. There's another one. Ready?

Yeah. All right. Here we go. Italians can't live without coffee. Fucking, I'm on my fifth cup. It's true. Yeah. Yeah, latte in the morning.

I'll drink it espresso before I go to sleep. I'll have one when I go home, right? All Italians hate black people. No, I'm kidding. That's not red. But I have to slightly think about that. You really pause. You pause. You think about that. You really paused. You paused.

You paused on that. More than you paused on a guy who's lazy and fucking fat. I mean, that's nuts. No, not true, but in old school, like my father, you know, he has to make it a point. Hey, I used to work with blocky people. I say hello to them. I'm a nice, they're very nice to people, you know, I'm like, Dad, we got it. You got it. You're racist, but you don't want anybody knowing. I want, I want to hang out with your dad.

He's, he's gonna have ploppy with him. He's the real deal. At times are what, what, what does this phone, I can't see. What does it say? Mamoni. I don't know. I think it's what it means. What does fucking Mamoni mean? It's a manly male. You know what, whatever, dude, all the tie-ins are soccer fanatics. No, I'm not a soccer fan. Not American Italians. Give a fuck.

No, I'm first generation though. First generation Italian. Yeah. So, did you dad watch soccer? Yeah, he loves a nappily. Okay. And then, you know, when the, whatever, the World Cup, you know, he'll watch it. Right.

As soon as it starts every time, I'm telling you right now, I bet my fucking life, it's really going to win this year. They're very good. And they never win. They get eliminated. My new, these pieces shit. They suck. I knew from the beginning.

All right. Well, you actually didn't but what's funny about your your impressions is the fact you okay They're funny, but then when you hear that it's actually them people fact check me They want to meet my dad at shows. They'll come sometimes. It's pretty it's pretty wild. He told a woman at a show She went up to him didn't believe that he spoke like that and she says, you know, is it true to your divorce? And he goes, yeah, why are you lying about that? That's your fucking stupid. And she goes, I'm divorced too.

He goes, oh, congratulations. And I said, that I think she's hitting on you. And she said, would you want to come out with a drink, you know, for a drink with me? He goes, no, I cannot drink him up because I got a diabetes. And I can't mix it like with the juice because my son is saying, I'm gonna lose my teeth

and they're gonna come my legs off. I said, you're smooth, bro. And then a long story short, he tells her, I don't want to waste your time. A couple of years ago, I had a prostate cancer. It was very little bit and they had to take out my prostate and the doctor said, my dick will be fine. It's no work since I got in my prostate removed. So if it got for a bit that we hang out, there's gonna be things I cannot do for you

because my dick is asleep. It look like it's like a spaghetti all done. It's hanging down. It's a little beautiful. I call it a sleeping beauty. And I'm like, what the fuck are you saying, dude? And he goes, I hope he's calling. She's not calling.

She's not calling. Wish he could bring a vagina over for a sleepover. She's not calling. He's out of his mind. Maybe she has a sleepover. She's not calling. He's out of his mind. Look, maybe she has a dead veg. He's no. Maybe she's out of bed. He's out of bed, a dead veg and a dead peach.

Maybe she's premenopause. Fuck, the things hot and cold. They're fucking five thousand. He just, you never could predict what's gonna come out of his mind. There's no one. Italians are Latin lovers. What does that mean?

I love Spanish women. You do. My wife looks Dominican. Who doesn't? My wife look, dark skin, dark hair, curvy. I thought my wife was Dominican when I first Spanish women. You do. My wife looks Dominican. Who doesn't? My wife looks dark skinned, dark hair, curvy. I thought my wife was Dominican when I first met her. I married, I married my wife's Polish and American Indian. I married the girl.

It's mixed. Yeah. I married the girl that when the guy, you know, when he gets the chief, because you can have my daughter. Yeah. But it's like they captured a woman. You know what I mean? She looks in the end, but she's white.

You know what I mean? That's my wife. Like, remember, remember, remember, was that movie Kevin Kausner? The dancers were wolf. Remember the broad in that. Yes. That's my wife is.

Are you a big movie guy? I love movies, but I have no, I don't retain. I do not retain information. Oh, I retain. I don't retain retain I don't retain I don't I forget I don't forget any of it like some people can read this year's but there's my wife That's so funny dude. That's my wife. Yeah, I married the chick on the butter That's the lady from a mission. No, uh, independence day

The wife the president now is it now that's no Jeff Goldblum's wife. No, Independence Day. The wife. The president? No. Is it? No, that's not. No, Jeff Goldblum's wife. No, no, Jeff Goldblum. No, that's, that she was an Independence Day. No way. She was married to the president and dies. No.

No, look it up. What do you want to bet? I'll bet you how much? What do you want to bet? I'll bet you, I'll bet money. I'll bet like a dinner date or something like that. Okay, done. Done, dinner.

We're going back. Dinner, dinner, dinner. Alright, go ahead, boom. She dies an Independence Day. Yes, stake. Don. Don, dinner. We're on back. Dinner, dinner. All right. Go ahead, boom. She dies in Independence Day. Yes. Stake. She dies in Independence Day.

Oh, pizza. Pizza at that place. What's the, is he looking at all? Yeah, he's autistic. You gotta give him a couple minutes. He might have saw something else. My father, one of my friends, my son is autistic. Yeah.

And my father said, which amount of kid look a little weird. I said, he's autistic. Bullshit. So fuck with me, little weird. I said he's autistic. Bullshit. So fuck with me, Andy. Come on. He's autistic. He goes, and why did they give him medication?

Because he's autistic. He goes, I never see the kid to draw a paint to one picture. I didn't say artistic. You fucking wop. Nope. Independence day. Nope. Independence day.

That's not her. Told you. It's not her. It's not her. That's the one that goes out with Jeff Goldblum. Yeah, that's the one. Watch's not her. Told you. It's not her. It's not her. That's the one that goes out with Jeff Goldblum. Yeah, that's the one. Watch. Watch.

Wait a minute. Watch. Go to it. Go to it. What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Go down to the cast. Go right down to the cast. She's right. Oh, no. Keep going. Yeah, right there boom mayor McDonald

Marr Maryland with more if you click on it also dancing with wolves no way where you want to flames I found it through down there Flames yeah, don't flames that's next to my cigar lounge. Is it yes, it's very good though fuck flames We go to my friends a tie and restaurant. Where Cassaletos. Where's that the right near flames, but they got this steak They have blows flame right away. Right, right. All right, I'm in. Independence. All right, you're right.

You know what, though, that was a trick one. Why? Because right after you said you don't retain information, you think I'm not taking a bet? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha memory. No, 100% she's not in the movie. All right, here's one. All the tie-ins have a Vespa. Fucking Vespa. I had one. No, Vespa's like a really fat girl. I had one. No, you don't. I had one. And you have her had. I had one and I bought a white one and feel like a fucking half helmet. I had to have helmet and Keith Robinson, Jim Norton and Rich Foss made

fun of me so bad that I sold it. I would make funny also. Yeah. Well, I can drive a Vespa. That's because you're a good person. You can't drive. All right, let's go. Ready? Here we go.

Number 11. Italians are all fashion addicted. No. Dude. I mean, fuck dude. This is how I feel. Yeah, but yeah, but you're not a spot on you. I'm on stage like I know, but you understand sweatpants.

Yeah. I'm not sweatpants from back in a day. Listen, sweatpants, there's white sweatpants, which is fucking nuts to wear. Yeah. Because you know you're not getting anything on them. No, I guess every day. No, I'm telling you. I want to be nice before I go home and I'll catch a stain on it. I'm not a big fan. I like to get here's a thing. I'm also 25 pounds every then I want to be right so yes when I get thin

Right, that's when I start breaking out the outfits a times like crazy 100% of a fuck. Ah, I used to be I hit a wall doing 80 with a Lamborghini and Florida almost died what a year a year ago. Why yeah some guy clip me I was I rented a lamb I was good buddy a buddy of mine, old buddy of mine until now he's suing me. Uh, he's suing. He had a rental on exotic rental place. I don't even know if I could talk about this. My fucking. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't do it. Fuck whatever. No, no, no. I don't want to have to go to court. You're not going to go to court. I don't want to have one of these kids. I'm glad you didn't do that for fucking selfish reasons. No, I don't, I don't want you to, I don't want to go to court. No, so

a pickup truck clipped me from the back. I was doing like 77. And Italy. No, I don't, I don't want you to, I don't want to go to court. No, so a pick-up truck clip me from the back. I was doing like 77. And Italy. No, what? Florida. Okay. Yeah. No, that's doing something. I don't retain my rent Lamborghini. I don't want to go. I don't I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I was on the fucking scarf. No, he clipped me in the back and I had a body of mine in the passenger seat. My brother was in the car behind us and a car Fucking fish tailed and head first right into the wall fuck. Yeah, so I don't I actually I'm glad it happened I don't drive like a dick anymore, right? Yeah, not that I was driving like a dick

But the night before I was but you you ran through the Lambo. Yeah, how much is that cost? No, he took care of me Oh really? Yeah, you're in charge. Is that the guy suing you? Yeah, they got cuz you fucked up his Lambo No, it was it was he tried to total it It wasn't totaled then he didn't have insurance on it and trying to and I was the nice guy that signed the contract a day after the accident The day after yeah, mother Whatever people piece of shit and Italians are infusive people So I'm not gonna lie.

Can I get the definition of infusion? Thank you, dude. I was gonna say the same thing. What we infuse food together? I don't know what the fuck that means. These nerds set me up to look stupid. I'm watching Dawson's Creek, man. It's expressing feelings of gratitude, pleasure, or approval.

Well, let us know. You know, most of us didn't know it. I had to look it up, too. I mean, we're very expressive, but I don't know about gratitude. My family never likes to give compliments. Really? Yeah.

Tians, I don't think they, whatever that word is. No. Tians can speak English. Yeah, no shit. Can't speak English. Yeah. Tians can't speak English. Yes.

We can. I'm a very good speaker. Of course you can. Tians allowed. Yep. 100%. Yeah, two. My friends always thought my parents were yelling at each other and they were speaking. So most of these effects. Yep. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Two.

My friends always told my parents are yelling at each other. And they were speaking. So most of these effects, most of them, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I just don't like the typical like, hey, hey, don't, no, fuck, I don't talk like that. You don't talk like that, but can I say something?

I love that guy. I love that guy. I know guy. I don't like that everyone thinks Italian speak like that Dude, I used to work in a Italian restaurant and my friends were, you know, fucking you know, lived there worked there and Let me tell you something Steven, Georgia Sweatsuit every day Different color gazelle glasses with diamonds. Oh my god gazelle every day

You know necklace. I mean dude. I come up. Hey, how you, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, That's all a tie-ins to me. That's American eyes of tie-ins. Yeah, and then you have first generation and off the boat I love first generation. I love off the boat. I love Italian people because nobody They're the most unique their fucking hard workers The food is nuts I always wanted a Puerto Rican or an Italian so I dated a Puerto Rican Italian when I was young Oh, I mean one of the hottest girls, but dude I always wanted a Puerto Rican or an Italian. So I dated a Puerto Rican Italian when I was young. I mean, one of the hottest girls, but dude,

it was just, it was the most toxic relationship I was ever in. I know. I was always wrong. Yes. I would get yelled at for her if she had a dream that I was banging somebody. I know, I love it.

Yeah. I love it. My wife does give a fuck if, I'm going to a strip club. Go ahead. So you want the toxic? I want toxicity. I'm going to a strip club. Go ahead. So you want the toxic? I want toxicity. I love a Puerto Rican. Just having scratches on my face.

How'd you get that? My girlfriend, I love it. I want a fucking fight. So you want to be like at the shit kicked out of you by a woman? No, I just don't like. They have things you can join, like little fetish clubs. Oh, I just want somebody to care. You. That's all. They have things you can join, like little fetish clubs. Oh, I just want somebody to care.

That's all. I would like my wife to show some interest. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I came out of the bathroom one time. I was going to Vegas. I just want somebody to care. I trimmed my pubes. I go, how these look? She goes, why would you have to trim your pubes?

I go, well, I'm going to Vegas. She goes, whatever. Just walked out. She didn't give a shit. Why have I heard me shaving my bulls the other day? I heard me. Walks in and goes, who are you preparing that for? Yeah. I go, well, when it gets so long that it's hard to see my dick, it's time to shave Yeah, she goes who you're preparing for me? Okay, when I rub it out I don't like to get hair stuck in my hand if you need to know

She goes you're a liar I go okay, what the fuck not lying. I really don't like a fucking bush. I wish I was escaping I would look I would love for my wife to give a fuck about my bush. All right, we got questions for you ready for questions. Yeah. Jeff 88 favorite place to eat in New York. That's a good one. Oh, man. Um, shit favorite place. Any borrow? Um, I'm gonna have to say, shit man, Poseidono and Brooklyn and Brooklyn.

Yeah. Is it good? Yeah, really good. Tiant. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really?

That's hard. I can't have one favorite place. I give me three. Uh, Poseidono, Campanola in the city. And, uh, what's all pizza spot out there? Johnny's another one. Well, did that place you said you were a pod that I haven't been to Yeah, Johnny's in Mount Vernon. That's up in Westchester, right? Yeah, I gotta go to Johnny's I'll go to Johnny's how is it better than Joe's

Joe's pizza right here is the best pizza in New York. No thin crust. Yeah light. Yeah, oh, you'll you'll have you been to Joe's? No, please what. Yeah, light. Oh, you'll, you'll, you'll, have you been to Joe's? No. Please, what are, what are they rated? Number one in the world, they're better than fucking Luke Alley's. Fucking yeah. No way. I don't know what Luke Alley's is, but yeah. Luke Alley's, uh, Demarra's to fucking do it.

Joe's. No. Dude, Joe's pizza is the best no, I'll try it but 100% Number one pizza slice in New York Joe's no John on bleakers now John Joe's Bleaker street versus Joe's that's a Joe's is that good Joe's is Fuck in the best what what did he read it? What's the important one does what did he read him how can he read name? Portinoid does. What did he read him? How can he read it? Tell me that everyone's following a Jewish guy for Pete's reviews.

Fucking hilarious. And he can't pronounce any of the names. Nothing. Oh, I'm over here at Louis Trotoria. I'm like Trotoria. All right. Trotoria. Trotorias. I'm over here. Godma Zollsys. What? I ready. Is a subway jacker, 3-1-1. What's your favorite Gumbah Johnny story? Oh, shit, man. All right, so I don't know, I'm sure everybody knows.

He was locked up and he spent six months in jail and he was in the rec center and he was the only white guy in there. What did he locked up for? Oh, I don't know. I wasn't even anything serious. He got fucked over, man. I like the feds of some shit.

Right. And he's in the rec center and he's mopping. And only white guy in there and all the black dudes are watching. You mopping with one broom or two broom? I was trying to do this. Oh, OK. Yeah, man. It looked like he was blowing two guys.

He was double fisting the mob handles. He was mopping two black eyes. He was mopping with his mouth and they were watching a Laker game, Laker playoffs. And one of the black dudes big dude. He was like shoot the ball, pass it, pass it to rice, pass it to rice. And handed a pass into somebody else and the guy missed it. And he goes, come on man, I told you to pass the shit to rice. And then Johnny goes, I hope you're aware that you can't hear you. And he said everyone just turned and he goes, I've never wanted to try to hide behind a promise like every man like, you know, they just held it up. And then another story, he goes to get his mail and the dude that he was sharing to sell

with this guy's in there for like 20 years for like heroin dealing and stuff. He goes, commit motherfucker. And he goes, what's up? He goes, I'm gonna get your mail from now on. You hear me? He's like, why I can get my mail? Shut the fuck up. He was all these dudes in here for 10 years, 15 years. They beggin for a letter. You're going to get mail. Come back with fan mail and magazines.

They're gonna slice you motherfucker. And he's like, over mail. He goes, yeah, over mail. He goes, all right. All right. You can get my mail. Just make sure I get it. And he's got slo- What's he? For days, man. Like, famous when he went to jail.

Yeah. Really? So he said all the Puerto Rican dudes, they would call their wives, like when they get their one phone call a day. And they're like, Johnny, Johnny, come here, come here. Please, speak to my wife, Big Fan, Big Fan. Well, see how he's like, he's like, he was on KTU.

Fuck. So he's like, Big Fan, come on, she's big, B stockond. He was on KTU. Fuck. So he said, Big Fond, come on, she's Big B stock fight time. Come here. Did he go back to radio after? Yeah, they hired on the next day. Wow. Took him back. Yeah, he had the biggest morning show.

So he would pick up the phone. He's like, hey, what's up? Yeah, it's me. How you doing? My God, I could tell you boys. I like you boys. Yeah, it's me. Oh, no, your husband's doing great.

He's behaving. Fucking weird, man. What a fucking weird life. Yeah, what a crazy thing life And then he took so they told him that he couldn't speak about the jail on the morning show He called he said let me can I get one phone call can I get my phone call for the day? He calls the morning show Right and he's like hey, what's up RuPaul? Yeah, man jail. That's all right mentioned the jail So I guess the warden brought him in he goes Did you talk about us on the morning show? Yeah, I'm in jail. Yeah, it's all right. I mentioned the jail. So I guess the award in Port of Minny goes, did you talk about us on the morning show?

He goes, I made a phone call. You called the morning show? How many listeners do you have? Six, seven million? He goes, no more phone calls. Really? I've got a ton of stories, man. I feel good.

So six to seven million followers, six to seven million. Listen, this is a lot of... The only thing that killed him was when he was on the social media wasn't big He should have way more of a following but more put it this way more people Know who he is then follow him on social media. Yeah, yeah, well, I mean listen He's a 67 year old guy on Instagram. I mean, he's not really gonna know the ins and outs I'm blessed. You got out just in time Yeah, if the fucking Respond fucking Sally, Jesse, 744.

I do it all the time. I know. I love arguing with them. Uh, our Italians white, or why, or why not? Nope. What? Nope, we're not white. Fuck you talking about it.

Not white, I'm not a white boy. I don't know, saddle down. If you ever see me dance, you'll go, that motherfucker's not white. Really? Yeah, no, I think we've got a little more, a little more go, that motherfucker's not white. Really? Yeah, no, I think we've got a little more soul, a little more flair, you know? Like my neighbor's white snaps when he talks.

Soap ant, he penis pops, you know what a penis popper is? He'll stand in with his arms at his hips. Yeah, and he's like, out of fucks to wife, man. And I like go all back on his tippy toes, that's white. You know, a snapper. I was fucking Denver, man, I'm back in the toes. That's white. You know a snapper. I was fucking Denver man. I'm back any weed. That's white. I don't think it's a lie. Are you in a neighborhood you shouldn't be in? No, they call my they call Franklin Square fun goose square. I'll really fun

goose square. That's a lie. Yeah, they have my picture up at the meat market down the street. Yeah, the fuck. Yeah. So you live in your best life. I love it. That's great. All right, look, look at the monkeys. I hope this isn't bad. What? Hey, that's the name. That's great. All right, look, look at the monkeys. I hope this isn't bad. What? Hey, that's the name. That's the name of the person. Yes. Get the shit out of me. I know. I did too. It's not the question. It's shit out of me. It's not a request. Good. How many years do you need to live in New York before you're a New Yorker? It's a good question. I'm going to go old school with this. if you're not born and raised in New York. Stop it. Stop it.

You're not born in New York. Put it this way. And I don't mean just born in New York and then you move to like fucking Seattle when you were five. Born in New York went to school in New York, elementary middle school, high school. Because I think people act differently here. I have been in New York half my life.

My son was born in Hell's Kitchen. So you're saying to me, my son is New York, but I'm not. How many? I'm going to tell you something you're not going to like right now. I don't like any of them. You know, you know why you're not in New York? Whoa. Because you sound like you're from Goodwill Hunting. Listen, I'm from Boston. No shit. No shit. You're going to fucking Hunting listen, I'm from Boston. No shit No shit you're gonna fucking tell me I'm not New York You're gonna well. I was fucking born in a parking lot somewhere Huh I'm gonna fucking put you in a woodchipper. It's very important that my son I love that he is a Manhattan babe your son's a New Yorker. He's a New Yorker. Yeah, you're a New York

What do you guess what he can't though? What fucking roof of the Yankees. Why he fucking can't Look at me. Oh the views. No. Yeah. No, you don't want him to go to any parades and I know no well fuck you Fuck you The only parades love to go to the macy's day No, I suck this year man. You suck man. You suck for a lot of years. Listen, listen, 2004, just eat it, 2004. That's what you're gonna go on. Woo, yeah.

And Tom Brady. That's what you're gonna go on. I'm Brady, baby. I'm Brady, you can go on. He still kisses his son. He'll look so. He'll look so. Kisses his son's on the lips.

Yeah, we're gonna weird. Let me tell you something. I kiss my son on the lips all the time. I love my son. Do you use tongue? No, he does. No, he doesn't. Brady uses tongue.

Shut your face. Don't spread rumors. You're an asshole. Now granted, he did this. How you kissed your son on the lips? I see. That's it. It was extra long.

This is what he did. He embraced it. This is what he did. And if you don't believe me, he did it too long. You get your friend. He was on a massage table. Get your friend and you guys kiss and you have to count this long, ready? At least I like that you're honest. You're a Brady fan in your honest. That was too long. You can't go. No. No. No.

Two long. Oh God. Take it off. Take it off. Yes. No, take it off. And he's laying down with no shirt on. Stop. Stop. Oh, dude. And he's laying down with no shirt on stop. Stop. Dude, he's the go stop. He's the goat, but he also has he's the goat. He is the goat, but he also has his tongue. He's walked on tongue down his throat stop. He doesn't do that. That was bad. Look at I don't like guys who don't show affection to their kids. You kiss your kid. Is mama mush. I'm gonna do a fuck mom. I'll bite my kids. My elbow. So that's an Italian thing. What, a Italian woman a very aggressive

would affection towards kids. You ever heard of a Italian mother? Yeah. Oh my god, you see her kid? I want to fucking rip his eyes out. He's so adorable. And the bunch is fucking pet him. They really are.

Corress him. You're gonna rip the kids eyes out? I worked at the Italian restaurant, me and my wife. And it was all the women that worked there were aunts of the owners. And they were so fucking that. Oh, fuck out. I'll bite his fucking face off.

I want to just I want to just bite his, oh, look at him. I'll bite his cheek right out of his fucking head. I want to rip his fucking lips off. He's so adorable. So dude, I mean, it's, it's, I'm so happy. Not only for your career, but you and Johnny having a good time I'm gonna blast you're out there doing your thing and you're in your own world. Yeah, you're doing stand-up You kicking ass. Yeah, and and I love the fact that

You know you created a fan base that is behind you 100% great fan base I mean a great fan base and it's due hard work. I tell everybody feed your base man. Yeah. When you're fan my fan base is old school you know I was like oh you got a right wing fan base. I said it has not a doing fucking politics but yes most of them probably are. Yeah. My thing is my fan base is people that just want to fucking laugh. Yeah. Back to old school when nobody had feelings and got offended. Yeah. You know, lady came up and she was like, I didn't enjoy your show. I go, well, there was 1500 people there. Do you think I give a fuck about one?

Yeah. And she's like, well, you curse. I said, yeah, I do. I said, don't come to my show. That's it. You're going to change it. So my fans appreciate the fact that I don't give a fuck about people like that. And I lost a lot of fans over the over the four years because I voiced my opinion about everything.

But I call it spring cleaning. You lose those, you gain more. Just keep feeding like Matt Rife, feed your base. Yeah. My man has fucking 90% of women out of the show going crazy of all ages. He feeds his base. Let's see if he if he responded.

He definitely get that bottle. You don't think so? I don't know, man. I have the email to prove it. I gave my credit card and everything. He responded. He might have oh, we got a message. And it's wow. No. Hang on. Oh, no. It'd be at the top. Wait a minute. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, here we go. Did I, oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Oh no, this is spends I never said is killing me. I didn't send it wait. He sent it now

Do you realize what you just did wait. Oh got a met oh no, oh wait a minute. I did that was How do you know Danny it's sending? How do I know how does it send you didn't send it on in answer? I don't see you sent it on Instagram. I sent it. I'm looking at it If it says sending that it's in sent yet. Oh, yeah, you probably closed out of the app because of the app it starts Yeah, so leave it open yeah, leave the app open for how long? Oh, no Oh, no, but I'm not send it. Did I send it to the right guy? Did I sing up the dang hook? That's gonna be fucked up.

It's just sending. Yeah, then if it says sending under his name, then it's sending. I'm gonna call him. I, this is just getting weird now with him. I can't, I'll leave it open. But I'll let you know it. I'm gonna let you know what happens.

Yeah. I hope that he responds. I hope he got the fucking bottle. I paid leave it open. Well, I'll let you know it. I'm gonna let you know what happens. Yeah. I hope that he responds. I hope he got the fucking bottle. I paid for it. How much? 160? Jesus. It's a great bottle to kill.

That's the Italian thing. Yes. Yeah. Italian love. I asked my wife, I said, go, should I bring them something? Because I want, first of all, I want to thank you. Yeah. A lot of comics that, especially ones that have been in the fucking game and, you know,

are fucking old schoolers They don't reach out to me. Why I don't know can I tell you I was open a fucking pocket? It's rodin long Island right you're never in the city. You don't do spots. Oh fucking hour I had I start doing I understand dude. I look at I do less Boss he tells me all the time he's like dude. Can you please just go to the cellar and jump on you don't fucking do spots I gotta start doing you know do spots to the cellar and jump on? You don't fucking do spots. I gotta start doing spots. But listen, can I say something? Yeah.

Don't. Why? Fuck us. Oh, I want to. I love comments. You know, I know you do. Yeah. Here's the thing Anthony, you live far away.

You, you're having a good time. I'm not that far. Hang on, let me finish my fuck. Oh God. I finished. Why is this right? You like, no, listen, stay away. I finished my fucking life. Oh, I'm trying to get it in his right. You're like, no, stay away. I'm just saying, I come to the city once a week,

Tuesdays, I do my thing. You know, we come, we, these fucking animals over here, come to the city every day, they'll go on anyway. They do as many spots as they can. Cause they're building it, they're building their confidence. You already did it, you're out there, you're selling tickets, you're doing your thing, they're doing it. They're building their confidence. You already did it. You're out there, you're selling tickets, you're doing your thing.

They're doing that to get to where you are, to get to, they're doing their own shows. I don't wanna show it. I love it. You think one of these, I'll see one of, and soon you think, fucking any one of these guys hits a big tomorrow on something, they'll fucking return my phone.

Now, they'll fucking delete my Instagram. They're gonna, they're gonna mat right view. Oh, 100%. They'll go, they'll go and talk to Matt through me. Did he answer yet? This motherfucker. It still says sending fucking it. Do you have, do you have Wi-Fi?

I got, yeah. Is it Wi-Fi? What the fuck? Can you take, can you take my phone? Oh, I fucking get so mad at you. You just see it. You're on your phone. I'm checking you.

Oh, sorry. Sorry, I apologize. I say sorry when I'm wrong really quick. I see that. I apologize. I was fucking, I was hurting for him. No, I just, I love comedy. I love to pick the brain of comics.

I love like shit like this. I fucking love. And I want to get in with, I want other comics knowing, all right, this dude's a real deal. He's not a fucking Instagram, he's not a talker. He's not on stage, fucking murder. And that's one thing that I hate also. We were talking about how like TikTokers

try to do comedy when I see somebody and they put a fucking clip up and they're like, killed it tonight. And then I go see them. And I'm like, I want to, I'm not going to mention his name, but I said, hey, it's your question. What's your definition of killing it? Yeah.

And he's like, I had a good show. That's not killing it. Killing it is making them laugh from the fucking minute you get to the end. Sure. People are killed over. There's no wave of laughter. It's fucking laughter. Yeah.

That's killing it. You didn't do that. Yeah. And he's like, what the fuck should problem, dude? Nothing. Just don't false advertise. I wanted to come here and get killed. Right. And I killed right and I didn't I get to him after a show really I said I giggled Wow I said giggling. It's not killing

So I just you know, I want to get in I love picking the brain of comedian shooting a shit Listen, nobody knows what we do other than us, right? You know what I mean? And our mentality is so different than a normal person's because there's so much shit, like your brain probably never goes to fucking sleep. And the things that you think of, you can only relate to it with another comic. Yeah, and I want that.

Well, it's good, you should come in, but don't get fucking, I mean, you're doing great. You got your own world, you created a fucking, an atmosphere that is working for you. It's, and you're also bringing people with you, which is, I think, a key thing as a comic, whatever you got, you got to share it. I'll let anybody jump up and fucking open up.

Don't say that to these fucking kids. Oh, well, they'll leave me tomorrow. I need Johnny. Johnny, I, I had a guy in Hawaii, Nico, if you're watching, man, I'm sorry I gotta talk about this. And, uh, what was that? Maui guy jumps on no ho Hanalu and Johnny He didn't he didn't come to Hawaii my first time out there was like you know

Let me see what the crowd is blah blah and I had this young kid open for me and he got booed I mean bad. Yeah, and he was like how about one more joke and one guy goes Did the fuck off the stage and he goes all right, I'm gonna tell him anyway. And I'm sitting there going, oh my god, and I'm texting Johnny, I'm like, dude, I miss you so much right now. Cause Johnny brings it, fuck, crushes it. Sure.

And then I listen to him and I know what stuff, if they're left and more at the wife shit, I'll do a lot of family stuff. If they're laughing at the old school shit, I'll do, if I know I can go over, I can, you know, you know, kind of cross over that line, I'll do it. I'll come out strong and This kid was fucking bad man, and I remember I got on stage and I said listen man. I said, you know people need an opportunity

He's homeless and he was teaching surfing lessons on the beach and he would see wanted to get on stage Just kind of like a make a wish kid and I got off stage He goes did you call me a make it? what the fuck do you, I'm gonna say dude? You've been doing it for 10 years and you suck. Let them feel bad for you bro, they clapped, didn't they? You lied? 100% I lied. He wasn't homeless.

I wasn't fucking homeless. He's not a, was he a surfer at least? He's been doing comedy for 10 years. Fucking add that to the fucking stereotype, they lied. No, I said lie. I had to, I had to listen guys. I want to apologize. I want to apologize to you guys.

He's on the beach. He's a homeless guy. Teachers surfing twice a week. I met him on the beach. He said his dream was to perform. Right. Game of shot. Let's get him around the place and a place when crazy.

Right. I gotta say, she was like, dude, what the fuck? Well, I'm not homeless. I go, did you not hear how much fucking love they had for you ass? How they booed you before that? You feed the base. And he goes, what?

I said, my crowd is very sentimental about shit like that. When you go out there and you're at that meet and greet because I'm meeting all these people, fucking come up with a story. All of a sudden we're meeting people and he's like, I've been living on the beach for four years. I hear him telling somebody, you know, sometimes I go days without eating,

I go, fucking guys got, he's got charisma though. That afterwards he goes, dude, they love me. I could, yes, they love you. Not for your comedy, for your story. Stop doing comedy, stop. Max, yeah. Next time we go, you've been a rehab for six months. Okay, I used to be a welder.

Okay. Hit them in the heart. Hit them in the heart. Hit them in the heart. And then the poor kid went out for drinks with my cousin the entire time. And my cousin just kept saying to him, dude, you can't do comedy anymore, man. You gotta teach surfing.

He saw it. Yeah. He was bad. He was bad. Are they the, yeah. He's seated. You're like a fucking like a 16 year old girl sliding into his D.M.

Matt seen it. He's seen it. He didn't respond. Day six. He still hasn't responded No, he responds to me. Does he? Oh, yeah, we talk. Hi good. I see that he has what's his name jump on stage. Oh, God, oh, oh, he did. Oh, no shit. Yeah, that's another motherfucker. See, I love a lot of these comics. Right. I'm a fan of yours, but you know what? I'm gonna sound like a bitch. I'll admit it. I called up Goma Johnny I was like, bro, Robert Kelly's got me on this podcast. Yeah, oh, Robert's a good like a bitch. I'll admit it. I called up go much on it was like bro Robert Kelly's got me on this podcast. Oh, Robert's a good dude. Dude. I know him very well. Tell myself. What's up? I go nice guy He goes yeah, he starts laughing. He goes dude. You do know you're doing well in this business

Right? Yeah, he goes stop getting happy that these guys reach out to you. They know who you are I know he go, but they don't fucking pay attention. He's having on his podcast. He goes can I come no dude even fucking invite you back up bro I definitely I definitely I would have him on 100 yo that I he's a good dude to talk to yeah no I I've always loved that guy he's a great guy absolutely have him 100% he's good definitely get him on but the the reason why I'm sitting there I'm I'm catching your stuff and I've always liked your other stuff and then I started seeing you stand up. I'm like, oh this guy's fucking funny man, but I love that you, like I said, you're living that you created your own atmosphere, man.

You know, because we think that we have to do it the way other people did it. And that's not the way life works. I do recently met Pete. Coriola, we're in a fun way. He's the best. Pete had one of, and again, I'm a comic junkie. A lot of people that come to our shows, they're like,

what are you doing? I said, I'm watching Johnny's set. They're like, you watch his set? I go, I watch everyone's set, man, I love comedy. So Pete and I did a foundation with Chris DeStephano, and I pulled Pete aside and he was, y'all, man, I've been looking for him for me and you brought you doing great things.

I said, let me ask you a question. Sebastian, no, who I am? He goes, y'all, I plead the fifth. He doesn't. I said, all right, no, probably. So listen, we're there, because I get compared to him because we're bro, you're doing great things. I said, let me ask you a question. Sebastian, I know who I am. He goes, yo, I plead to Fifth. He doesn't. I said, all right, no prize. So we're dead. Because I get compared to him because we're both Italian, but our comedy is so different.

Yeah. And Pete comes on stage, dude. He had me fuck. He said one thing that you get me sometimes, I can't stop laughing. Yeah. First couple of minutes, there was kids in the audience. So we didn't know how raunchy we could be,

how, you know, over the top. And he starts going. And he takes a know how raunchy we could be, how, you know, over the top and he starts going. And he takes a drink and he goes, they're saying, going well, not going well at all, man. But you know what? Before I started, I identified it as a female comic and as a female, I'm fucking killing it. And I fucking lost it, man.

He quarreled, he's awesome. Hands down. One of the funniest guys I've ever met agreed. Writer, stand up, character, nobody like him. I mean, he is fucking original. Agreed and talented. Yeah. That's another guy who created his own atmosphere.

Yeah. He was supposed to do this and supposed to, he said, I'm going to move up here. Right. I have a family. I'm going to write. I'm going to do a podcast. I'm going to do this and supposed to, he said, I'm gonna move up here. I have a family, I'm gonna write, I'm gonna do a podcast, I'm gonna do stand up, and I'm gonna be happy with my life. That's what I'm saying to you. Yeah.

I come into the city, but don't ever feel fucked up about it because, dude, you're there, you did it. You're in it. Well listen, I tell everybody, you know, everybody always asks me, where do you see yourself for five years? I said, dude, I don't look five years ahead. I said, I enjoy now.

I said, do I want to be one of the biggest comics in the country? Hell yeah, I want to be a household name. Will I not be happy if I don't get there? Fuck no. I'm doing what I love. I'm supporting my family. I'm doing well financially.

And I'm doing what I absolutely fucking love do. I make people laugh for a living. It's crazy. I said, even if I was making half of what I was making, doing. I make people laugh for a living. It's crazy. I said, even if I was making half what I was making, it's not about the money. No. As long as you have enough money to pay your bills, support your family and not struggle,

and you get to do what you love doing, that's fucking happy. And have a Lexus. Okay, you have a nice car. Yeah, you can't pull up. I mean, I had a Honda, see, I've read for a minute. You know what I mean? I was like, gee, this is not right.

Now I'm gonna lay, I'm like, this is a better life. And I used to work for Lexus, man. I gotta, I gotta pick up truck too. I gotta Ford Ranger. Ranger's good. See, Ford's a good truck. I got the Dodge, I wish I would have got the Raptor. A Raptor's Nuts.

When you were talking about the craziest truck, the Raptor is the, well Dodge has the TRZ. Yeah. That's got like 750 horsepower, which is got the, it's got the 12 inch vertical screen. No, I got the big screen on mine. You got the big screen.

Yeah. Ford doesn't have that. Well, that's why I stared away from Ford. The inside's not, not, welcome. Yeah. Thanks. I'm sorry.

It gets me mad. I want that screen pick up. Don't my wife got the Lexus. She goes, are you into the pickup more of the technology? I both. it gets me mad. I see the I want that screen pick up. My wife got the Lexus. She goes are you into the pick up more the technology? I both you want the Both I got the I got the tremor Lariat don't I was like why do you need it go? It's the it's the top end right with all the shit I go I want a nice truck. I want a screen. I got the screen, but it's not a big screen. They don't have the big shot big It's the the the thing eight inches. I don't know you can do it's not a big screen. They don't have the big shot big. It's the thing eight inches

I don't know you do it a lot with eight inches. What you are we still don't Yeah, what the fuck happened? It's got weird dude. I listen buddy. I got to wrap this up Dude, I'm so glad you came in you got to come on ours now 100% oh dude. You're fucking little Johnny and I do Johnny 100% I want to get Johnny on this too. Yeah, definitely and I owe you fucking pizza It was it was steak. It was steak. Can I switch it to pizza? No, you didn't switch it it was steak. Oh, yes Yeah, you spoke about Joe's pizza. We could do that. Oh, my friends place. Yes, Cassidy dude We're gonna my friends place. We're gonna castle atos. You'll love Paul G your love Paul G

Good. I was in the city. It's no, it's in where I live. Over by the state place that you said, oh, it's up by the aims. Oh, how you do flames. Yeah, what's it called? It's called cast the let us. Okay.

That's the best. What do you got coming up? Uh, this week I'm in Chicago. Um, then I was supposed to go to Australia. We rescheduled that for next year because I think they're taking everyone's freedom away. And I want to'm in Chicago. Then I was supposed to go to Australia. We rescheduled that for next year because I think they're taking everyone's freedom away and then I wanna get stuck there. And then, I'm off until the 14th

and then it's just, I'm spending a lot of time with the family for next three weeks and then it's every week and I got my special September 30th being filmed at the Paramount. Paramount for gotta coming up and MJN, who's filming there? I got a, right. Forgotta coming up and MJN convinced me. Who's filming there? I got a production of full six camera production company.

I'm going all out. But I got MJN convention center. But Kipsey, that's a big one. Waterbury, the Connecticut, Palace theater, two shows of the Borgata. I'm at Huntington again in December. Every weekend we've got big shows coming up.

That's great, man. You and Johnny. Yep. That's great, man. You and Johnny. Yep. That's great, man. Congratulations on everything. Thank you, guys. I'm seriously, man.

Thank you, man. I'm so glad you fucking kick and ass. Oh, it sits far, man. And keep kicking ass. Robert Kelly live.com for all my dates. I just added, we got Phoenix, Arizona. We got Rutherford, New Jersey. We got Skankfest, of course.

Rochester. I just added where the fuck is it? Danny, the port in Baltimore. What? The port comedy club in Baltimore. What dates? The dates are, I love comedy connection. I think it's on the website.

Best. Yeah, the core, one of the best clubs. I mean, top five club. 100% and the comedy on state. Well, they are two November 17th and 18th. We just booked that up asbury park. Anyways, go rob a cat alive.com, go to comic wearables.com to get all your stuff. I got the reg stuff up there. I got a fuck the chequespot shirt. I got pop a king, not you, YKWD merch is up there. You get fat bob Kelly shirt.

We're going to get sexy bob Kelly up there soon. We're going to have two different versions of me because I'm a piece of shit. And make sure you follow these guys. Go. Max Marcus comedy, all social media. Like for your swirls. At Danny Braf on Instagram. And you can check out Joe Russell's cheese show on YouTube. And I'm gonna bring some of these Humps with me on the road. They're very funny. You guys know them.

You'll love them. So make sure you check me out on the road. You guys are the best. What else do we gotta do? Anything else? No, that's it. That was a great episode. I hope you guys enjoyed it.

Just subscribe. If you want to go that extra fucking mile patreon.com sash robber Kelly, you get all the podcast free. You watch him live on Patreon when we film him. And you get an extra podcast with me and mush every week. And that's for five bucks, I think it's 10 bucks or something like that. I think five bucks. So when you go over there and support the show, if you want to over there, we really appreciate it. If not, we'll see you here next week on You Know What The Podcast. y su suerte, si quieres verlo, nos vemos en el próximo video. ¡¿Qué es eso?

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