Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Argentinan Lime Seller

Episode Date: March 21, 2016

This week on YKWD: We have Mark Normand, Luis J. Gomez, Aaron Berg, & Adrian Minkowicz! We get to know Adrian and hear about the difference from comedy in Argentina than in American. We talk marriage, kids and Aaron's recent engagement! Things get heating when we start to talk politics and Luis's yearly salary. This one was a St. Patty's blast! Listen/Share/Enjoy! RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? You know what, dude? On the RiotCast Network. RiotCast.com.

Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is going to be a costifier. It's my catch. No rules. Look at my gas hall. To the funniest podcast of the planet Burris. This is going to be a cost-effective podcast. It's no rules. Look at the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already sent you the regret. Can I get a microphone?

No. What's up, huh? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and he happens. Sometimes it's hilarious.

Sometimes it's 10 over the topics. No directions. I love doing it. Side to the coin Podcasts pop who might affect somebody's life you never know What's up? How we doing? All right, we're back. Hey, hey. with another live YKWD on a St. Patrick's Day edition from you know what did you know what did a bit of dude what is the fuck wrong with the sound of the show man I bet you were talking about my joke

top on the more I should we be outside it's a beautiful day what what's going on do you want to just work this on a little scope? What I don't understand what's fucking happening Did you hear the clicking I hear the clicking I don't hear myself at all you don't hear yourself very slight very low on the rattlesnakes You don't hear yourself. We're all very low now. I Except for Adrian. Make a wish. How's that? Is that better?

Hello? Yeah, that's better. Is that better? Yeah, that's better. Is that better? Yeah. Is everybody OK now? Yeah.

Do we have sound in the chat room? In the fucking one, one, one. Is there sound in there? Yeah. What's happened here? I don't know what the fuck happened. I go away for two, what? Deep who's not here?

That's what happened. deep who's not here? That's what happened deep who's not here you have fucking scopo who knows nothing and you have Lauren who's just fucking easy on the ice What that's a compliment you yeah, but you call they're just stupid What you said she's just pretty That's a compliment. They didn't say stupid. He said worthless Yeah, where he is not just stupid, there's a lot of other things that you get to read into. People are saying the sound is good. All right.

Happy St. Pat is there too. You do know who is not needed. All right, I am Robert Kelly. I am the host and I am fucking the captain of this vessel. Therefore, I have my captains had on Because I'm running this fucking ship down funnyville river on the east side mother fucker Fuck the west side. I'm on the east side on the funny ship All right

Okay, I'm driving this shit up to the Bronx around the fucking horn And coming back down to gay island. I mean, we're coming back down to the island. We're funny, we're funny lives. No, we just need about 10 people on the ship to move to the other side of the ship to make it even. And we'll go. So that coming up.

Yeah, because you're so worthy. We want that. I like it. I can't write, do a jingle. I can't write, do a jingle. I do a jingle. Alright, so we get on the show today. Of course we have Aaron Berg. We're the thing is Aaron Berg.

He's not here, he's late. He's why he's never going to make it. Yeah, he had a big audition today. He had a rule. He's the Heineken guy. He's a leprechaun. He has a Jewish leprechaun Wow, yeah, that's fucking a big deal. That's cool. I don't know about a leprechaik

Is that bad? I liked it. I'm just not gonna laugh at it Oh, by the way last time you weren't here We also created two other bandanas. We have the Ray the race Dana Where's you make a racer show you get the race Dana and then also the uh what is the race Dana just a pillow a pillowcase? Is it Confederate flag? Get it? Because it's a hood. Ah Alright. Good. And then the other one was the the stupid Dana, or is it if you say you just shoot a t-shirt? Because you're dumb. Hey Lewis, he's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. He's dumb. lot of things. It's a podcast about it anyways. Hey, whoa, is that eyebrows wet? You just flick the main? Come on son, those are fightin' words.

All right, we got a, we got Mark, let's go to the new guy here and, four, and Tonyo. And what the fuck is your name? Adrian. Adrian. Adrian. Adrian. Adrian, Adrian. Adrian.

Adrian, he's Adrian. Here's impossible to speak one word in Spanish. Now this is a character. Are you working on something? No, we should tell the people that the iPhones are working well. I speak like this. I'd rather have a wheel on it right now. What the fuck did you just say?

Why do I want to fuck you? When you say it say it's not attractive Pablo Escobar but when he starts talking yeah, he's fucking Antonio Banderas He's a he's a fat desparado What's uh, dude? What's that what's the way from our Jantina from what I said is oh Why no, that's with a B right yeah exactly So you have Zika yeah, we we don't I think oh really Maybe in the north of our I don't leave there in the middle of your country's rich. Yeah

Riching what Right now yeah, you're oh really it it's, uh, the economy's good. Thousands of, no, but thousands of Brazilians are wearing this tree asking for the prissy into, I didn't hear it. I don't know why you just said. Yeah. Oh, my pussy's wet.

Minus. Yeah. Waterfall. Yeah, now my chair's wet. That's her cane. That's her cane. Katrina. Mine is Waterfall! Yeah, now my chair's wet. It's hurricane Katrina. What do you think we got these oranges? I want to be up.

Whoa! Got those oranges! Doesn't work all the time, but I'm preparing right, doesn't it? Yeah, you can clap all. Anyways, of course we got Lewis, Jay J Gomez, the rattlesnake, the Joan J head of comedy, the fucking assassin of laughs, the fucking hashtag. The show. The show from Legion of Skanks, from the real ass dude podcast, from Hammer Fisting

and from the countdown, a serious brush 90. God I'm tired. Jesus Christ. You're like a fucking road middle hack with a lot of credits. This guy's done evening at the improv three times. He was on Friday night videos and he did the show with Rosie O'Donnell. Give it up for who gives it shit. That is the worst when they give you a scroll. That looks pretty funny. You like that one? I don't like it. Tell him I don't like it.

He was the reason you didn't get the bomb danna for that fucking diad robot. I got a laugh from fucking my friend over here. Yeah, nervous norm is going to laugh at everything you said. Is that his name? He is the furthest thing from nervous. If anything, he's too confident. Very confident in life. Way too confident in his material. Until Shur he's too confident. Very confident, right?

Way too confident in his material. Until Shuron's small has pressed up against the wall at the comedy cellar. God, fucking, we have to go through that again. Oh, yeah. Come on, that was a fun, was it? Did you dig it hard a little? I fixed the crick at my neck.

LAUGHTER And then, of course, we have Mark Norman, who is one of my favorites. Good to be back. And we got Scopo and we got my Kelly 2.0 Lauren. Yeah. She's looking good. I was telling her, I don't know what her boobs are. Some weeks they're massive. Now this week they're like 1978. She got my mom's tits this week. And... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... and uh... I Don't we got my tits are hers

Bobby baby exact jokes Right well Apparently that jingle fucking trick doesn't work all the time kill this jingle bit guys good lord. Yes Well, I am very fascinated that about the I don't understand did you do comedy? You must because your accent you did comedy in Argentina? Yeah They have comedy clubs there Only one I would say that they're old shows in theaters So I was one of the first guys to have an hour show 2007 eight. He's the most famous comic in Argentina. No, really. I really do. I mean

Are you famous there? No, I am one of the comedians that this has more name or something like that. But then why would you come here if you fucking making money there and their money is like shittier than our money? Why would you stay there? It was the industry. Exactly. I think was pretty, now he's growing. Like now they have TV. Also, but I left it with a thousand and eight. They got TV with no Now is growing, now they have TV, also what I left in 2008. They got TV with noone else, and he's not that TV-error.

We got water now. We have the electricity in the ceiling. Eric Cunning was too hot in the South. In the South, they have electricity. Where now comedy, everything is... The people live best for the now, it's very good's very nice to be a part of the cartels I'm no longer in control of television Okay, this will be long two hours

We got a little shot This is gonna be a long one, listen to it This will be long Yeah, but then at the end you kill all of us That was my plan on the coffee It's in the coffee Chris Coppa is helping me Hey, welcome to America

Right on your face. I think That's the bomb band in it. That's the show put that on your microphone. What did you do with these? It's every time you tell a bad joke I take it I take it I think it they think it's Pretty big is kind of like to do a tendon Now put that on your microphone explain to him would you yeah if you bomb a joke you get the bomb danna You don't put it over it just around it No, not oh

No, it's just so the fans watching no no who had the last shitty joke. Oh, don't worry. I'll get it back We all get it so anyway, so I started doing stand-up in Spain. They have a much bigger market there. Like, yeah, they have TV. They have TV there. Yeah, they have. So, like, they have a common central and paramount. And so you can tour all around the country with an hour show.

Right, yeah. A lot. Like, 30, 40 gigs. And now, you do 30, 40 gigs. Now, are're getting great money You get something You know tell me yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but is it thousands? I want to know exactly It depends if you tour yeah, how much for an hour? How much for an hour if you're doing an hour 30 shows you can make it three grand a night three year three thousand euro

No, no a thousand euro making three grand a night, three thousand euro? No. No. A thousand euro? No. Well, yeah, you could. Yeah, you could, depending on the gig. Okay.

I would say that the floor is three, four hundred euros for a theater show. Or a bar show. Or a bar show. That's about the same year for a bar show. Okay, so now you go around there, you do all this stuff in Spain, and then what makes you come to New York City?

The motherfucking chance. So now you go all the way around there, you do all this stuff in Spain and then what makes you come to New York City? The motherfucking chance. I translated five minutes in English and I went to an mic and someone saw me and said, well, you could do this here. So I came there ten months after I did it again, someone saw me until in 2011, I passed the comic strip and then I got Artis Visa, they won Visa for three years. Why wouldn't he come here? I mean he's got the accent, he's a minority,

it's a huge thing. Yeah, I'll tell you. There he is. I'll tell you this. Wait, was that the Heineken Lepurcon? Ha ha ha ha ha. He's going to change it to his outfit. Oh, please do.

Good Lord. Love see a jig. Excuse me. We don't have black artis outfit. Oh, please do. Good Lord. Let's see a jig. Excuse me. We don't have black eyes. Oh, Jesus. Lewis. What? That's the racist.

Oh, Danah. Can you learn how to be subtle when they raise Danah? Where is it? Hey, dude, can you fucking be subtle when your racist show? That's right. Yellow, it's the chink Danah. Oh, God. I've been talking to you.

What? You really just like in the video. No one's yellow. It's the chink danna. Oh God, I'm gonna talk to you. What? You really, just taking care of him. What? No one's safe. No, hey, so it is true though. You're chewing. Well, nowadays you have to fucking every show. It has to have a minority. Yeah.

It's fucking, that's it. It's crazy. That's it. If you're a TV show, you have to have minorities in it. Yes, that's it. We were just talking about Greece. They did a replay of Greece and had like black characters.

So what? Were they all black characters? No, no, no. Well, also at the same time, there are too many comedians now. It's a, if you're a white dude between 20 and 50, you'd really need a very special voice. You need a hug, sorry. Yeah, it sucks. So with me, I don't need a very special voice. You need a hug, yeah.

It sucks. So with me, I don't feel that is like that. I feel that no one is looking for an Argentinian comedian, but then when they look, it's only one. I want to... I want to... No one's looking for a comedian that you can't understand any of his jokes. Take the ball, man. That's Indians. Take this big

That's Indians Bolt lift first dude, fuck you. Okay. And whatever you're wearing, thank you. Thank you. Don't fucking flex your tiniest! Fuck you! Look at Lauren's all fucking hot and bothered now. Look at you. What do you think? Where is she?

She's right over here. Good to see you. I don't see behind that screen. What does that mean? What does that fucking... That symbol mean? White power. No.

Trump's favorite. Yeah, it's he. No, I know a secret. How do I- La Chiam. La Chiam. La Chiam. La Chiam. La Chiam.

I'm going to see you next. You got it. I got it. Shabbat shalom. You look good. Yeah, look real good, dude. Fuck you. But that's true.

Berk has just got engaged. What's your name? Woo! He works at Tony Williams Morris. He promised me citizenship. And the Hanukin commercial. Yeah, and Hanukin spot. You got a leopard on a gauge, like three weeks ago.

Congratulations, man. Wow. That's awesome, man. Congratulations. Now, Ajau, Jaskar. I wrote a letter, like not a letter, like. What do you mean? Please find this. What do you mean, Abe Yeah, I met you one time under an apple tree

That day I knew you were to be mine. Why'd you write a person for a print in print? But my print handwriting's not that good So I just wrote like a list of other things that I love about her. Stop one second. Yeah, you didn't fucking like type it out You wrote it. Yeah, I wrote it. I mean, can I see your print? It's really bad. Can I see what it looks like? Yeah, give me some more. So when she shows you kid later in life,

your kid's gonna be like, what retard wrote this thing? Yeah. So the point was at the end of it, it wrote like a wrote this list of everything I loved about her and then it said more to come, but she couldn't read it and she goes more taco me. And then, Oh, that's it. And then she started laughing.

And then I gave her the ring and then she said yes. And now it's a debacle trying to plan a way. I thought you just get engaged and you go get married. No, no, no, it's a big fucking to do. I'll tell you, when I did it, you got married? Yeah, that was a worse proposal than mine. Mine was bad. I tried to kill her.

Why? You're just trying to kill her. I'm not going to kill her. I'm not going to kill her. I'll tell you when I did it You got married? Yeah, that was a worst proposal of the mind He was bad, I tried to kill her Why are you just like that? I need to try to leave I tried, I was not your proposal When he gets married, they have to kill animals I slugged her No, he told me he tried to

I think the blood What if he counteracted? None of us do accents We're in pain so bad We're in do accents. We're in the same place. Yeah, listen. I tried to do the blood. He's from Argentina. Not Translating you fuck a heap.

So yeah, yeah, because we were traveling back and forth, my wife is Norwegian. Oh, wow. So I'm fucking asshole. At some moment, I thought well fuck it I will propose and I bought a ring in Argentina and I We met in Eastambo we met in turn went out and you fucking found that that That that stone and the mountains of your country didn't you? Yeah, I

Was hunting and I was hunting animals when I went for the stone. Does it perfect stone anyway? What are you fly why are you Jewish? I can't get anything. You can even do your own accent. I am Jewish. I was in the stone and I said, what do you want? I will give this to my wife if you take the jaguar to back off.

What the fuck happened to you? What are you Jewish? I am. Whoa! What? Dude, La Chiam. Yeah. I love the Netsah. that so a lot of Jewish people in Argentina I love I think is a third or fourth

But believe I think there's 30 or 40 Here's why that fascinates me because you think of Jewish people you forget. It's a religion You know, I mean you think oh your Jewish that's not a Religion you know Jesus What the fuck what I'm being honest. That's what this is about this show honest conversation So it is weird that there are of course this this Christians you think I would think you guys would be more Christian because They conquered you back in the day and we have Christians we we have Jewish, and we have Nazis in the South. You have Nazis. Really Nazis.

America got the lot of Nazis. Really? I didn't fucking know that. That's good. Wait a minute. Stop. Are they Nazis? I don't remember the last time.

Well, what was it? Did they have his famous Nazi? What is the movie with? What's the legend? What? These were these famous book that Hitler was living in the South of Argentina. They do it in a movie. The TV show, boys in Brazil. Something like that.

And you could see people from the countryside saying, Yeah, he was living here, you know, like a dog boy. It was a crazy thing. Yeah, can you do me one if you don't ever do your accent? Okay, I will. You have to do that. Yeah, can you do me one if it don't ever do your accent? Okay, I will know. You're gonna have to do that. Yeah, you can just talk like you, we get it. You don't have to do it.

So, what was the name of that? Super famous. They go to super famous Nazi dude. Hitler, the legend. Yeah, no, no, but he was taken to Israel. He was a little bit. Oh, good. Vander Slute?

I don't know. Why don't you Google it? You fucking, come on. Not by this stuff. Can I stop for one second? Stop listening to the show and fucking work. She's working. Yes, she is.

Work a girl. Ah. All right, go ahead. Keep doing, when he hears something, we're like, what is it? He's supposed to see that beautiful thing, that new keyboard in the mouse. Yeah, he's supposed to go Oh, I got it and then go hey, where is he court?

Argentina, Brazil and Buenos Aires. Buenos Aires. I got and he was under a fake identity and the Mossad went and they did a huge Reision and they took him and oh, I remember that fucking move. Yeah, I think he's Robert. Well, the main character. I think it's eight off I can yes I'm top of that you sound smart like you know Yeah, I'll allow you not to say that you googled it. I'll allow you just to go it was a dog like people are like whoa Like the fans one camera. Is there one good eight off on the planet? There's no good eight off. No. This one, too.

Eight off rub. He was the coach of Kentucky. Hey, can you give me that band-in? Throw it at Chris. Yeah, that was in a joke. There you go. That was a real person. Eight off rub.

It was eight off rub. But I just want him to have it. It's pretty happened for you. It's pretty happened. When I shaved my head, it was going to look like Tom Papa someday. That's a high shade. It looks like the town prior. Yeah.

Fuck. He was one of the major organizers of the Holocaust. Yeah. Oh, wow. The study's planning. So, it was a real astute. Good PR job, right? So, a lot of the Nazis went to Argentina after that?

Not a lot, but they said that they went to Brazil and Argentina is when they escape and then they were saying oh fucking Argentina's but Argentina didn't do anything You know the allies also they got some Nazis and they put them around the world because they let it have yeah Exactly the thing is they had a lot of advantages taking those guys I What's a hat, Van? So I ordered a fucking history thing about Arjun Tick jokes. Yeah, that's what this shows. That's not about Dick Fad jokes. Oh, fuck you!

Oh, one, time out. Lucy jokes, dude. Lucy jokes. If we are picking a fucking thing, is it about Arjun Tinnion history or is it about Dick jokes? It's much more about Dick jokes. I say fat jokes. Nopsy Dick. I don't know if he'd dick fat jokes about her fucking thing. I'm not more about dick jokes. I say fat jokes. Notsie dick. I don't think dick fat jokes about her fucking

five. Her vagia could stop any war. I'm just speaking. But how do you find a Nazi? I mean, how do you find a Jew and South, but you don't look Jewish like here? You can spot a Jew. But that's what I'm saying is that you think that Jews look a certain right. Right. A a certain way but those horns But then you look neither one of us looks Jewish you look Jewish

David with the fucking fist in the middle of it He doesn't look you look like I beat up Jared Fogel yeah on the yard And you he looks more ISIS than Jewish No, that's how they call me about And you he looks more ISIS than Jewish Now he looks like he looks like he killed that girl on a rubah Your Wait European this week bitch your opinion your opinion You're a P in your your a P in We're back so in Argentina is the comedy like 20 years behind like it is and you know like your jeans Oh

Nazi Nazi come in Take my wife please Why am I still wearing this hat? You fucking asshole. Why did you do chickencluster roads? Why? To hard and non-azze. Hey, have you guys seen the emeralds?

Women be shopping for donkeys. Oh shit. be shopping for donkeys. You have to notice how white people be doing the waltz. Black people, they don't live here. Yeah, no guy words. So... Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. We have a piece of it for fucking donkeys. Oh, fuck. I'm gonna flip around with that one, I'm not gonna lie.

Oh, god. Does anybody have a spare flip flop? Oh, fuck. What's your is up? Goes from comedy to just begging on stage. Please, anyone, please wear me a higher preachy. I need to fit my baby, please. Please, please.

Please, don't pennies at me. Every show ends with an interesting point in me. Thank you. So gracious. Thank you. I will tell you, Pelt. That is merch, Pelt. Pelt.

I will be selling squirrels outside. I will be outside selling antaconda skin, pocketbook. I think you. I'm sorry, sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Pelt. Pelt. Anybody want crocodile necklace? I'm a man. Anybody want crocodile necklace? I own one book you want

I got a one book. Welling here. Thank you, Bob. I've used the racers bandana right? How much for the monkey paw? Mickey Match is all of that in a nutshell. Wow. The Kyrgyz island, the donkey. No, that's it. It is funny, though, because like, all right,

look, I just had a bunch of stickers made, I had a bunch of magnets that he has a ton of merch, Lewis, for his show. I mean, I mean, it is, we are so fucking fortunate up here and so oversaturated with the ability to have fans. Even if you're a nobody, you can create some type of fandom. You know, I'm not talking about you, but down there, I mean, you're just, all you're doing is fucking stand out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no are you crazy? Oh no, no, no, no, jokes aside.

What are you doing? What are you doing? You think that I say I am from South America. You're a Mexican, no, I'm more South. South Mexican, no one gives a shit about anything that is in the South. But this is a lot of American. Mexico is in South America.

This is Central America. It's Central America. So, but do you don't know anything from, like, if I, okay, what do you know about South America? Chile. What, okay, what the fucking, what do you think, what do you know what's up America? Chile What? Okay, what the fuck in the middle? Okay, we can go for that, Chile. What do you say, capito de Chile?

What capito de Chile? Go, go for it. It's easy. Santiago. My point. There you go. There you go, it's couple. Hold on. Ask him again. Ask him again. Hey, what everyone's gonna know, I did not Google that.

Go, he's like, you have to say something now. What's the capital of Buenos Aires? Go, it was like, you know, Franklin. Yeah, you capital put on Cyrus? Goal was like, enough I can. Yeah, you're right. I mean, Americans don't know anything about any other culture or country, but yeah, I assume that every country in South America is dirt poor, yes. No, it's a lot of like that at all. But I do have three, a lot of rich people.

What happens to South America, though, that government is usually a little corrupt. The people usually rebel against the government more of the Southern up here. Okay, if we go to politics, when I saw in the bailout in 2008, I've never seen in any country in the world. Yeah, we of course, but we're better at. We have stock. Okay, we have a lot more money than you. Okay, we're not getting for not having our politicians hit with spears. I mean, I think the extremes are like, like there are a lot of rich people, but I think when you're poor in South America,

you are poor. Yeah, we've never had this sad. Yeah, yeah. But that is also true. Like, we've never, people hear of their poor, but it's like comparatively to fucking something. Yeah, yeah. Okay, but they hadn't all of a sudden.

We've never had a president assassinated by a poison dart. Yeah. Okay, but I even tell you these, I don't think, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,'t think I President can anybody do this I will be a Well no one murdered any presidents in Argentina. What's that? We don't have any murdered presidents. I know I was kidding. No I am I am a consorting and saying you have you murdered president. We have a sense We did to one we did to do two two two two two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two I live half a time here and half in Europe. So I tour in Europe and I do stand up.

Now would you go back home with your family or do you have to send that money? They were once, I go once a year. I'm on the other side there. Did your family have money? I never, like it was middle class. Little class, right? Would your house connect to another house to another house?

They think they were nine stories. Because they were both going to give me the energy I said. I was a lawyer. So I used to work. You were. Oh, that's where that serious shit comes along. Yeah, back to that serious shit comes from son. That's why motherfuckers uptight with this shit.

Even a South America, the Jews are lawyers. Disease like Jesus. The thing is, I like it. I like it. I hate God. I hate my friends. It's my show. Just in case they listen. I choose.

He was against it. What kind of law did you practice? Corporate law. This man, the day we got one sweater, was sold. So what did you have to do? What was the biggest one? Aaron, don't fucking talk over your own bomb. Take that bomb. That's what I did on stage.

Hey, you don't really realize it. We know. You're talking. That's why you had to get the muscles distract from a couple of your hot ones. Beats right. Hey, can you do me a favor? And fix the vein on the side of your head.

I'm kidding. Can you fix your microphone? Just put it here. Can you fix your microphone? Ha ha ha ha ha. Just put it out there you go. Ha ha ha ha. You like that one? So you practice corporate law in Argentina. That's crazy.

In fact, I started doing comedy. I was accepted to do an LLM in NYU. And I came to some. What did you say? LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM.

LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM.

LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM.

LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. LLM. You're just us, dude. Candidates us. Stop acting like it's another country.

Yeah. Why not Argentina? That's another country. Yeah. He can get bit by a spider and die. What's going to happen to you in fucking Toronto? A moose. So from Buffalo, come up and ruin everything? Yeah. Alright, let me take that bandana right off you fucking I got that for a fucking bomb rent try to do a gerardo that failed I didn't get what you were going for I think that was a lawyer too yeah he was a lawyer that is correct I hope you end up like him I heard that joke before that that is that I don't like what's the bandana I heard that joke before

he's saying you're in some way roast yeah I heard that joke before he's saying you're in the roast. Yeah, I heard that joke You said it before No, I didn't listen to point to just a lead did that to just a Everyone shut the blind I got I got a laugh so fuck off. I'm gonna bend down. I don't remember the name the name of the comedian But he told that joke in a roast to Jessalik saying in roast jacess that you are the next big Gerardo I hope you finish this thing I hope you finish this thing

I hope that you can use it on him first of all I say something thank you anyway who is to not steal that joke because he does not watch TV yeah can't afford to have a drink very true thank you very much all right it's like an object in his wife has a TV yeah so when it was my TV that bitch He just guys got a fucking iPad mini I only know that because I love Graduate I've seen everything and can you not be on me when I bomb God I want to fucking just put my head in your cabinets pussy. Like a court.

The bathroom. Deepo's in there. You want to go first? Yeah, that's why I lost deepu. He's in there. Yeah. What happened with Lauren Stolen's that were in her pussy? Did those get passed? Oh, yeah, by the way. Whoa.

Yeah, you, the boulders. Yeah, what you did. That's from her vage. No way. Yeah. It was like I went to that boulder chair. Yeah, check it out. It wasn't even the kidney stones.

It was actually a dead baby. Check it out. It was a fossilized kid head. I know, baby. American comedy baby. Really? Yeah. But I have another one in there. Oh, you will have nightmares.

These would be gemstones in Argentina. I could see my family. I could see my family. I could see my family. 20 years. You can sell this shit. You just might eat these. We eat these in my country for eyes.

Oh, shit. He's like, we eat these in my country for eyes. Oh, shit. He's making me feel in his hands. Oh my god. Archetyne. Archetyne, carrots. This is fucking. You know the heat, you're getting so much potassium.

Can I see that? It really looks like a dead twin, doesn't it? Lauren, do you feel better now that those are gone? Really tough looks like a blushing. It's a dried up miscarriage. I do, but I have more so I have to get them moving. Oh, shit. Oh, more!

Let me say, geez, you like blood diamond over here. I'm not fucking mind-in-these things in there. There's some chalians down there. No. They'll be out soon. Yeah. Well, that's about, I mean, dude, good for you. First of all, you had to learn English, correct?

Yeah. Well, you learned English in Spain in Argentina. Oh, is it in the show? I used to work in English. I said, oh you did. You work in love. You're going to learn it. I used to work in a firm with 300 lawyers.

So I was on trial and he showed up as my defender, I'm like, I am fucked right now. I would think the same, don't worry. I don't know, I would like it. I mean, if you showed up with that facial there that doesn't connect, I'd be like, I'm fucked. I'm gonna fucking Argentinear hipster

about to fucking try my case for smuggling heroin in my asshole. Great, but I know he looks like a respectable dude. He has, you have caring eyes. Yes. Yeah, the eyes of the Jew. I know where that before. You have caring eyes and huge eyebrows. Yeah, this is getting a little gay.

No. We do gays in our country. We put your head on a rock and we hit with another rock You should talk to Aaron about fucking trimming your eyebrows up like a fucking she man. I don't know I know it was a joke shut up. They look good. You know how to trim anymore because they're gone. Yeah powder I love that you went. I don't have to trim them anymore Thank God you're getting married Couple more years out that you've been sucking the night. I was engaged before

Oh really yeah, I have baggage about this You know it's a big deal. I got married in my second engagement. Oh really? Not the first one now the first one. Yeah, how did that not how did you get engaged and it? I was engaged here's my fear about planning this wedding too, so I'm carrying this baggage which I have to deal with She's gonna find your heart. I thought we just go get married. I don't mean I jack up twice a year I'm not sure if there's a bunch of gay guys There's a bunch of steroids in a scheme. Just lifting weights. I got engaged the last time that we kept trying a plan of wedding But then the families kept getting involved and it was too much of a fucking thing and that turned me off of it so much. So you backed out. Yeah, first marriage you left

Yeah, well I wasn't married. We were engaged. I mean, yeah, you walked away and how do you fuck? I mean that once that truck starts going down the hill right how the fuck do you put the brakes on that and walk away? It was like well I was gonna move here anyways, and then she didn't wanna move. So it kinda worked out easier. And I was like, where is she at Canada? And Toronto, I set her up in a place. When I moved, I'm set her up in an apartment.

And I left. Like a fucking, like a mob guy? I guess. I mean, yeah. She met a new dude and she's married. So she's happy. Oh, yeah. So you left this girl, you gave her an apartment,

you paid for it? Did you buy it? No, I was so happy to be my friend. Did you start making a? Did you buy it? No, I was so paid to pay for it. She started making a Jamaican guy after you told me? No, it's a joke that I did. Oh, it was a joke, okay. I pictured her dating a Jamaican guy. I liked her that too.

Yeah. So she got married to a guy like you, or a more redneck guy. Can I give you a bomb yet for doing a fake laugh for me? Yeah. Did I laugh? Yeah, you went. Oh, at the Jamaican do thing. Yeah, I thought those are right.

I left him. Those funny. Why am I listening? He's not announcing shit. No, no, no, no, no, no. Stop fucking. Yeah, you stick. You did it.

No, I was weird. That was weird, what you just did. You went ha-ha, and he looked right back at you. You're fucking a... What are you, my fucking foster father that used to hit me? Can't even have a real thing. I never even put my foster father. He to hit me? Can't hit them every time. I never got to put my foster father. He just stepped down.

He just fucked you. Um, yeah. So, uh, again, so she, yeah, she married like a red necky dude. She came from a small town, moved to Toronto, and then she married a good looking guy. He's okay. I'm a scrawny kind of a job. What?

Good job. Some blue collar shit. I don't know. Do they still live at the same apartment? You hooked, you set it up? No. Good. They got a backyard somewhere.

I think they moved to a white car. You know he bucks or talk an anti-Semitic. Probably. I would. Yeah, I guess we all. I'm using here. You were engaged before. Yeah.

And how did you call it off? I mean, did you have to... It was more like... How do you unkill a sheep? She was eaten by a leopard. Like keel-hit. No, I mean, did you have to... Was more Liz... How do you unkill a sheep? She was eaten by a leopard. Like keel here. No, I mean... How do you get your dowry back? It was a normal relationship.

Yeah, and so... How many years? Five... Five years? Five years. And then now she's Argentinian, right? Yeah. So it was in Argentina.

So when you... How old was she? 10? Why is she? Yes, that old over there. We were she was used up by nine. I knew I could not make 24 24. It's too young. That's too young to get married. It is. There. It's probably not right.

Yeah. What's the average age that people get married? I'm not from fuck. I'm a boss. It's not. There's no place. What's the average age that people get married? I'm not from fuck. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a fucking star. Let's see average age and age. You're not just kidding. You're Bob. I'm assuming in like other call you try to stay on camera. I get way younger. I think it married probably like 20 or 21 because I believe in God and shit. But this country used to be 18, 19. You were married having kids as a woman. Not that, but maybe 22, 23. That's fucking crazy.

Yeah, to be with one person for the rest of your life at 23. The girl I was in when I was 23, I mean, holy shit. If I was with her today, I'd fucking kill her. How are there people that get to go? One of ours now. The one I was dating is a lesbian now. That's what Facebook is amazing for. When you go back and you, all of a sudden,

you see some post of a girl, you're like, oh my God, that's what's your name. When we were in fucking junior high and I loved her and then you go through her Facebook and you see her now and you're like what the fuck did the sun touch your face me and gave some double team to check is got like two kids now and it's just so uncomfortable like looking her with her family I like I look at her husband's eyes like in the pictures and my dude you don't know what me and Dave Smith did How about this how about this when you can see a chick used to fuck and now her daughter's like 19 I can go double-tip them

Let's go over there. That's hot. I wonder if that's ever happened to it. Oh, yeah, that's Jerry Springer shit He's like wait. Yeah, but I'm talking about, I mean, those fucking weird people in that show, I probably, they fucking, they tell it's cousins. I'm talking like, you know, a comic or, you know, someone like that, like a smoking hot chick back in the day, you fuck there. And then later in life, you do in a show and you fucking, you hook up with the chick,

you're making out with you, you fucker. And it's, yeah, my mom told me about you. She was a big freak. Oh, that's hot. Was that hot be hot. Was that hot? Yeah. I had no a Judy gold.

Yeah. What do you mean? I never saw you. I'm a lesbian. Fuck Trump. I tend her matched with my, the girl I lost my virginity to is a little sister who's like eight years younger than her. So she was a child when I lost my virginity to this girl.

Like literally a little seven year old fat girl and then I tend her match with her. And we want to fuck now, but we haven't been able to like match up. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to fuck the chick you first fucked. No, no, no sister. No sister. No sister.

Yeah. She's both of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was a child. Is that hot? Oh, yeah. Is that, is that, is that, is that it going to happen to prime again? That's when I wonder like,

if I'm going to go to heaven, someone I die and I know you're going to make a fat joke next week, I get it. But I mean, when you do die, like, you think about like, okay, are you going to be presented with all this shit that you did in the video? That'd be a great video.

Like, oh shit, I forgot about that fat chick. You know, was that movie where you watched like the videos? Oh, yeah. You went to having me. You were spending your life. Yeah, that's great movie life. Yeah, great movie. It's a great movie But imagine if you we have to fuck do that Where you're gonna see all my god dude? Imagine if they like can see inside your head what you jerk off to first of all this one makes you come

Is God gonna consider that the standard of rape is way different than it was when I started fucking If you just fuck a drunk chick now now apparently you raped her but that's how I got laid throughout all of my early 20s. It's got a rape. I'm on tape. Maybe I left that. He started laughing and then he just backed off of it. You know, like you creep into someone's window and you're fucked up. Like you're in the 90s, right? You got your next case right here. You hold a gun in their mouth, but no, I'm taking what's mine. You're supposed to go.

That's right. I couldn't afford gloves so I wore socks over my hands. That is true though. If you fuck a girl after two beers or something, it's considered legally rape or something. Is it legally rape now? Something like that. Never mind. I was kidding about everything I just said.

I mean, Norman and you go to the active on the Fox scene nowadays You fuck drunk chicks all the time, but you're drunk too. Yeah, do you rapin each other? Ray Ray who cares? Cancel each other. I mean ask you question though. What if you're drunk and she's drunk really is that it's is that playing to You know each other They they're something that is important there that is consensual what you say if she agrees It's okay if she doesn't agree Yeah, but it's the idea that you can not decide to agree

No, but if you're intoxicated at all you're not within the actual right mindset to a great So you're gonna if she agrees the idea is oh, you're still raping her There's like there's campaigns where they say if you're both drunk the guys is still the real trainer Oh, because you're penetrating her wow. Oh, well. That's pretty Norman what are you gonna do? I gotta get her. Do you get worried about this shit, like when you're on the road? Not at all.

Really? I'm not like a threatening-looking guy. Yeah. Like, if I looked like you, I think I'd be more worried. Are you kidding? Are you scaring me way worse than him? I'm talking about that. You know that fucking guy sneaks in a window at a college.

Runs down the street from Charles Branson, Naked. Yeah, you have that fucking beaty little fucking, like Sherlock Holmes knows you did it right at the beginning of the fucking show. But there's nothing like rapier about the idea of beer goggles, that was just a thing. You know what I'm saying? Like it was a joke, you can go to Spencer's Gibson

by beer goggles, you know, like, and now it's like a thing. Spencer's beer goggles. What do you, what are you born born fucking 1965 Spencer's gifts are still around Black lips I got my remote Oh Dude I got anarchy fucking wrist bracelets

There's a water piece of gum. Uh-huh. Float of the candle comes back on. Float of the candle comes back on. What the hell, that's Kurt Cobain. My bowtie spins. Woo-woo-woo-woo. I'm over 50 and feeling nifty. A lot of colleges have it in their handbook

that a policy that's sexual activity within toxicated person is by definition sexual assault. Wow wow wow wow wow the practical and legal aspects of this are important. Okay. Well he gave up on a word. He saw a word coming up and he was like You saw a word coming up and he was like The mic's on false Computer's on I mean the computer's not working So how do you make money here like are you making any dough? No here here? I invest money. Are you married now? You invest money. You're married. What does your wife do?

My wife is a choreographer and dancer. So it's usually our team back there. The thing is, we have a theater and dance company together. I write theater and I direct theater. So with that, we make money in Europe. You make that in Europe. Right. Now, it's easier to make a living in Europe

than it is here, correct? In New York City. Well, yeah, because we have something there that you don't like here, that is socialism. So for example, if you are an artist, I have a flat there, and they help me because we are artists and we have certain amount in our incomes. So they help you to get some. They have that in New York City. Yeah, we have to go to the artist's house.

It's called the Market Motherfucker. Yeah, but it's also, it's very hard to get that. Yeah, very. I mean, the actors, buildings, you know, there's a lot, by the way, there's more than you think. I just went through this trying, I got into a fucking one of these, like, artist community housing.

It was too far away from my son's place. So I opted not to do it. But it's not that hard. There's a lot, if you actually put the time in to find like artist housing or any type of like there's a lot on the left side. Hang on, let's not hard. There's a lot, if you actually put the time in to find like, artist housing or any type of like, there's a lot on the left side. Hang on, let's have a ton. First of all, don't have a career.

I'm gonna put my hat back on. So you know who the captain is. Don't ever correct me on my show. You can just say this. It's not that hard here to get. No, that is hard to use. That's how. That's how.

That's how. That's how. That's how. It's how. That's how. That's how. That's how. That's how. That's how. That's how.

That's how. That's how. That's how. That's how. That's how. That's how. He's just has too much energy. He's not talented. He's not talented. The only difference is he's an odd extreme.

No, no, we're not there. Fuck it. No more. But I've done with no talent. It's pretty impressive. That's true. That's very true. Yeah. You're really our hustle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're Danny Angel, man. What do you don't have there is Poor people Detroit poor You know, you don't have Detroit

Poor Detroit Detroit in Europe blacks. Yeah, blacks No, no Poor That's also that's also very true. There's no black. No, I'm not in any country But for example in Belgium, you don't have like that kind for example in Belgium you don't have that kind of poor. You don't have, like we were saying in some countries in South America, they're very poor, Detroit very poor, in socialist countries it's much more level. Now your wife is here with you now or she's there.

Normally they travel with me, I have a 19th month old daughter. Yes, baby does. And they're daughter baby right now I don't want to see it doesn't show the picture I don't have time for this so she's working in Norway now with the baby

can we see a picture of your wife all right let me see it so hey buddy his Jesus Let me see it So hey buddy his passcode will not see can I ask you question? Yeah, how hard is it to not be around your brand new baby for now? It's a sheety. Yeah, it's hard right especially pursuing this career. That's not gonna happen the first six months where they just lie there That's in my head. Why the fuck are you here? You're trying to write that out.

You're going to have his first steps. You're trying to write a fucking, you know. You should do it. You're translating a joke about the river. This is my daughter. Oh, my goodness. Is that your wife? What's on your phone?

This is a little scene that the world is. I come on my phone every day. I have to I have to give pleasure now these fruits do you sell these for money you want to buy a baby in ten lives you put your kid to work early That's the other corner of fucking fan My baby's 11 months in a migrant worker I hope someone's drinking shit It's so hot, dude, the beautiful kid brother Really, really, really good Let's see the wife

Yeah, you have to dance about this If you don't want it, you don't have to You can just show me Norman just needs to take care of this My Norman is just fucking weird Yeah, that't you don't want you don't have Norman just need Fucking weird. Yeah, I'm weird. I like women Beautiful and she is definitely white. Yeah, thank God You will you ever see an Argentinian woman we crazy. No, she's no reason. I know she's no Crazy listen man, she's no reason. I know she's no reason. She's a bad shit. Crazy, right? That's a lot. That's a lot of Spanish kind of crazy.

Listen man, she's beautiful. And here's the thing. It's a lot of fun. I think you're in my Spanish. Yeah, Spanish women are fucking nuts. Yeah, bananas. Yeah, but I kind of like it. There's something about that jealousy and the fucking alpha male.

They have a real alpha male thing, but they're very feminine. And when they're your chick they're your chick and then when you fuck they fucking want to be fuck but if you step over that line and they'll fight you. I like Sophia Vagarotype. Can you not can you ask the talk? I'm kidding. I'm kidding I'm joking. Who? Can I talk? I'm joking. Who can I talk? It is hard to be on the road without them. Yeah, it's fucking Dude, I can't be away from one of four days and now four days now and I'm like I gotta go I gotta go because the thing is we had this rule that I could be Four or five weeks alone my rule. I don't want but now with the babies too much. It's too much

Yeah, you can't. I especially like like pop up up up like she understands now. Especially because that age right there, because I got a three year old. Every month, it's a new milestone. Yeah, so it's like you literally you see your kid. It's like it's like a different fucking kid. They look different.

And then 19's not so much, but she changes. I mean, I agree. Wait, wait until your kid is like, you got to go to work. Like actually, I'm like. I mean, I agree. Wait until your kid is like, you gotta go to work? Like, actually, I'm like, I gotta go to work. And he's like, can I come with you? And I'm like, no, you fucking don't. But get the fuck back in you. You don't get off.

No, but the thing is my, I couldn't do this without my wife. She's very supportive. I know, but what's your baby who's born? I am seeking alone. Without my wife, my baby. No, it's a lot. I don't know. I don't know. No, I think I'm seeking the kid like any comedian,

and I doubt all the time, and my wife, like, no, go for it. Yeah, I'm good. And I think that happening. But what a poor wife, she's like, she married a lawyer, and then, oh, I'm not stopping you. No, no, she didn't marry a lawyer. Oh, okay.

She didn't marry a lawyer. She married a lawyer. Like, when we met, I was still working as a lawyer mayor lawyer and then no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no years to be a lawyer in Argentina? Six. Six. Six, an idea of masters in law and economics. So that's a good one. So here's the thing though, if you wanted to, right now, how old are you? Talk to you too. You're 32. So right now, you guys are both pushing your dreams. You're both pushing the same.

But in reality, you could go get a fucking job. You could go back to Argentina. You could in Spain, wherever you are, and be a lawyer. You could get a great job. You could get a great job for the bar. You could, yeah, it wouldn't be a fucking that hard for you. You could go, get a fucking great job. You have a fucking amazing B plan, if necessary.

So why not fucking go for it? Why not? I think if you're a stand-up, if you can do anything else, but stand-up, you should do it, because this is fucking hard. But the thing is, this is my life. I write all the time, I perform all the time, I love what I'm doing, I wouldn't like to go back to that. You don't want to go back to old travel.

Well, there you go. That's good. I like to be on the road, I like to hang with you guys. I am, I've been here for four years now. Look at Aaron Berg, you don't want to be on the road. I like to hang with you guys. I am. I'm here for you. I know, but look at Aaron Berg. You don't want to be that. Yeah, do you want to put everything into your body, like a harrow top?

Yeah. Yeah. By the way, he's in New York right now. He's right here without the wig. You know that. His face looks fucked. Oh, so bad. I don't listen. You know what with his face?

Here's the thing with his face. He's from Vegas. He's an entertainer and His fucking thing is crazy. So fuck it. Who cares? You want to have purple fucking hair and weird lips and wear makeup? Who gives a shit? It would not he We're in the we're in comedy. We're in showbiz. I know, but he looks good. Look at that. Look at that Well, not we're in the we're in comedy. We're in showbiz. I know but he looks at that look at that He looks like a tranny now. He looks like he's transferring over He does. Yeah, he might be actually I first of all I think you're getting weird shot You know you're getting some weird shots with every shot Bob. Yeah, I mean we're looking at a hundred shots I mean Michelle Wolf looks good

I didn't know the caratop and Dan soda had a web series together Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com Well, hi listen to me. I think that you know, I think what you're doing is great, but it's man I mean it's a risk. It's a game being around being away from my kid Chad would be the hardest thing. Here's the thing too is like we with your kid and believe it or not Lewis is a great Fuck tremendous and because and I think it's because of and I have the same thing we have the responsibility to try 10 times harder than any other day

because we had fucking shitty childhoods. We didn't have you dad. I was funny as it goes both ways. Like there's a lot of people have shitty childhoods and then they project that under the kids. Like my mom was raped and beaten as a kid and sorry about that. She fucking, she deserved it.

I should have come. But she, I mean, she really was very abusive towards us and in her mind it was like, oh, well, it's not as bad as I had it. I am the complete opposite. Like, I've never even snack my kid on the hands. I mean, we're, we practice peaceful parenting. We are really in tune with. Let me ask you this, though, again, I'm not raising a little piece of shit.

Let me ask you this, though, has different times you just wanted to fuck and whack him in the back of the head with a shovel? Good for you. People, this is the argument. People do this argument all the time. They go like, well, what do you do if your kid runs in the street? And you want to show them that it's not safe.

My instinct isn't to hit my kid if he almost gets hit by a car. That's crazy to me. No, no, no, no. I'm not saying, I don't hit my kid either. I don't, I don't, we don't even, we try not to yell at him. Bobby bites him.

We try not to do anything to him at all. Like even, I don't want to put fear into it. I yelled at him one time because he was going to die. Like he was about to do something that he could have got hurt. You're about to sit on him. And I moved to Argentina. No! Look out below! Timber! Back to the way!

Please, no! His knee's already bent. He's fucked! Oh Please no, his knees already been That one made me Is he I got it for a different accent now so much thought I You know he's gonna just wait. I was I went I know he's gonna just do I know I went for my own boys. I went, I gotta let you guys play this one out. I was like, really good, you cock-sucker. And you did it in such a good acting you went,

because you're gonna sit you at concern. You know what you had? Deep concern for Max. UCB1. So, yeah, I screamed. I was like, Max, and he got scared at me screaming. Oh, wow. And I was like, fuck, I scared at me screaming. Oh wow, and I was like fuck I don't want him, you know what I mean? You don't want to give you kid fear. We don't be no pussy either

Well, it's not gonna pussy. I don't know. There might be a pussy then be a fucking cycle wants to fight everybody Yeah, like you yeah, I don't want I think it's about that That's it with that's a big way to In my my kid was in the kindergarten something like that and I was with my wife. No, no 19 month old Yeah, in the store kindergarten at 19 no no kindergarten number one line Free playground. Yeah, something like my kids in school right? I mean we tried to take her to work because we have money plays to play with kids Yeah, we don't just have to take him to a park, but you are a pigeon. Pigeon? Tree.

Bunch. That way. All right. Acorn. Mommy who loves him. It's a library. It's a library where people take kids to play together. I know my kids in the school too.

OK. Yeah, I have money too. Ta-ba. Your kid was in the school at 19 months. Yeah, it was. Really? Yeah. Yeah. They care you. That fuck. Don't get me. Don't get me. money to your kid was in the school at 19 months yeah was really yeah yeah yeah they care you don't get mad at me you're having kids dumb

don't get mad at me you're having other people raise your kid oh oh my god I had better mother fuckers bitch 3k for everybody no but the thing is these kids starts heating my daughter in the face. Oh my god I was going to go up like this But the thing is you scurrying things because I thought oh I will bid this little two-year-old fucking fuck

Well, I would I would say some of the parents. I would threaten the father right there. But the thing I didn't, my wife wanted to stop him and I said, no, I want to see what she does. What she do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was just... You just watch the daughter and be two.

Yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Could you know the awful jokes? Just ran through all of them. We do! Just go ahead. Maybe she's getting hit. Maybe she's getting hit. It gets better because she doesn't understand violence.

Yeah. So she will. And she's like, yeah, yeah, she's like, she got tired. She grabbed the fucking kid from the t-shirt. It's in this place where you saw a picture with this little plastic ball. Don't touch my lips. She put the kid in the floor.

She's caught it. Stop tamp's. She's caught in the hippie. She's in the kid and she went over and said, oh, great. If this kid is fucking rapist, you will be okay. So she's more Argentinian than that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's not.

It's like cock fighting. We really are, baby. And then, I don't know. You know, I didn't have to do anything. She defend herself. Come back home. She's smoking, doing pull-ups. Well, she speaks four languages now.

What? Yeah, because my wife talks to her in origin. I talk to her in Spanish. Then I have family here that speaks in English to her. And her nanny, Norway, for some reason, is French. So she goes like, a-wa, and she goes, a-bye. And then she speaks a lot of Spanish and origin. I mean, we are so fucking behind the

video and yet they all love us. We have the entertainment cornered. We have in the fashion and the fashion. Yeah. No, you're a pacifal. You're a lot of belongs. Yeah, but they're okay. They're fashion that we can't wear. No, that's not true. No, that fucking shirt was never in Milan. That's not fashionable. That's what it is here. He looks like a fucking lesbian. More guys, more guys and lesbians wear that shirt. It's just like Courtney Love, fuck off. I'm gonna tell you right now.

How many more you wanna go? Here you go, take a look. No, double-bed, but- There we go, there we go. All right, let's drop one there. Hey, listen. No, I think my kid, something happened with my kid where, let me try to think, No, I think my my kid something happened with my kid where

Let me try to think but I told my wife was like I didn't do anything Because the little kid was doing something to max He was calling max Pupu head and don was like I don't want that because she doesn't want max to do it Now that your kid my kid will go and go poop who had and now I have to un-teach my kid that. And she was like, I didn't say anything. I go, you should have walked up and said, to the little girl, whoever the fuck it was. Hey, we don't call, his name is Max,

and we don't call, we don't use Pupu had Pupu had's bad. And it's okay to teach that little kid in a very gentle way. You don't have to go to the fucking, and if the power walked over and said, what are you doing? Oh, he was saying Pupu hadhead and I don't I don't you know I wanted to know his name is Max and not what are they gonna do go?

Hey, you don't teach my kid how not to be a fucking dish people I pick and if they do do that if they do do that you go okay, then keep your little fucking kid away from me Yeah, poop-o-head. Well, that's what happened at the point So I'm gonna push him James into the corner Oh, I'm pushing him kept on pushing him and be I was in there Beatrice lost her shit like on the dad She was like yeah, your kids actually bullying my kid and all that What did this do? He's on a cell phone just being a like just being a completely

Accelerator drive my kid my kid goes to swim camp twice a week It's it's again to cost money, but we my kids in swim classes as well. Oh Yes, that's a lot of Relax I said can you stop with your resume every time somebody attacks you dude. I fuck we all right You make okay, okay? Well, you keep on making the same joke about me and I make a money. I do pretty good actually All right good good. How much money do you make? I don't need to announce it. You want me to tell you off air? I think you can tell me right now. I think you'd be pretty impressed. I read Texas to me more than 100 I'll be honest has a line of merch. It's got a hundred cash. I'll have the shows so a hundred cash this year. I'm doing good If you what are you doing I have made school teacher? I have made 90k before and

I have made school teacher. I have made 90k before and No, I mean I'm doing I go back to my point. Yes, go ahead before we had a fucking deal with yourself a steam falling apart Well, you keep on making the same fucking joke about me not making money mother What are you doing you keep fucking? Fucking Joe I fucking orange Little eight. Oh Fucking orange Oh guys Lewis is hiding I'm not going to get a good shoe from the Nazis underneath the day. Adrian's kids, I didn't have a ton of lines.

You can't throw hard things at me, motherfucker. That was good. You hit the deck quick. Yeah. That was a massive, you got to, you had a fucked up dad. All right, so, if you learn from the best, that was something, that fucking rag hit me in the eye, you can't tell me that. You got to really caught me in a little snap.

Someone gets, don't get that orange back. You thought that these fights only fruit served the whole week I gave it some week that these fight will happen in Argentina without shit within New York what happened? Fucking the body recording over here, right? You hit that mic hard. Yeah, are we still going? Yeah, okay? Okay, we're fine. Yeah, this thing you need to get angry. You have orange juice on your fucking back Yeah, both the orange on me box You two get angry you've orange juice on your fucking back. Yeah both the orange on me buck Listen because you threw shit at my face. You don't throw shit. It was a fucking towel. Does it hit me in the eye? Well close your eyes

All right, come on orange back, please. Thanks. Are you gonna eat it now? No, I'm gonna Casey fucking throws more shit I'm gonna defend myself look what I brought you I got you. Wait, you want to try that. Louis, you got to smell it. Open it and smell it. Now, I'm not. You want to fucking not. So what was my point? I was making. Oh, kids, you make more money than Louis. No, no, no, no, no, but he was at the swim class. You were talking about the parents on the phone. I'm sitting there. My kid is fucking literally learning to swim in front of me, going underwater, having a good time, and then I look at these other parents,

and they're on their fucking cell phones. Louis, just fucking buried on their phones. Black kids drowning, nobody's watching. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Like this doesn't put a smile on you. I was smiled ear to fucking ear, watching Max having a blast in a kicking and going under. And these fucks.

He likes it. Mike, it hates it. He hates it. He loves it. Max, Max didn't like it like the first couple of time, but now we have a pool next door too. We use the lures as pool all the time. Because I don't make that much money.

More than you. I do. I do. I do. I do. People are so caught up in, I think people that take their kids they're just like, oh, fuck, someone else is watching our kids are now.

Well, it's a break for a lot of people. That's exactly what it is. People go to the gym and they go, all right, fuck it dude, watch the kid while I'm doing my own thing. Which I also get you want to break every once in a while. But I disagree. I think that it's a disconnect. I think they don't give a fuck how happy the kid is. It doesn't even fucking matter to them how amazing this is to their kids. I don't think they give a fuck.

Well, a lot of people just have kids because you hear me. I read that all the time. It's like, oh, they're very stern, dead, who was completely disconnected and never showed emotion. That is very far into me. Like when I held my kid for the first time, I was like, holy fuck dude, this is my kid and the mouth, right? Yeah. That was my dad, my dad was the foreign disconnect.

Yeah, that's very crazy to me. Like I'm so engaged with my kid that like when you see parents that just don't give a fuck or they yell at them or they're very like kinda like, I hear next to there's a person that's like, like really violent with her kids. Really? And it's like nonstop, I hear her fucking yelling at them screaming at them, hitting them,

and it's just like, how the fuck are you a parent? That might be Puerto Ricans fucking. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Who thought of me, Spank? Hey, you never leaves me. Let me ask you this question though. Did you ever think that you and you,

and maybe you because you're getting married You might be thinking about this, but Maybe that if Was so nice to them and so that we treat we we do such a good job that they're not gonna be Funny or creative or because if you look at comics especially We're funny because of our fucked up lives. Yes.. You either fucking go this way and fight and kill and murder, or you go that way and make people laugh or make yourself laugh, right?

So I'm like, where it is, my kid just gonna, am I not, am I making it just a normal fuck? Well, Adrian's got a daughter, so there's no funny there. But, let's throw this orange at him. I would rather have a normal kid who's adjusted than somebody who needs to seek out attention for people. I mean, that's it.

We need attention. That's true. And it's not always fucked up people that become comics. But there is a need for attention, or there's a need for some sort of gratification validation. So yeah, I mean, if you're not getting that at home, as simple as your dad not paying a lot of attention to you Yeah, but no, I would rather my kid be fucking normal. I rather my kid be I don't have a good childhood I

I didn't feel that they will suffer I have a suffering for other things but my my Yeah, yeah, like lack of But you're not funny I've never seen your act. We literally just smashed you minding it a big level. I think it's my first time in the show So it's fair next time I will fight with we won't we won't see anyone But we want to understand who is looking to happen next time you need to go back Is it like a set on you two we can tear apart right now? I'm in terror part right now. No, that would be great.

What is wrong with you? I don't want to see. Do they do that? And like, because this is what I hear about, like, French Canadian comedians all the time, they'll just like steal jokes from American comics and just do them in French. I have seen it just make it good.

Listen, do you see that in your country? I've seen that then I couldn't believe it. That I have one comic. I think it's a great idea, you should do it. I went to the comic and I said look, this is very similar for not saying it translation of Pablo Francisco Rudy. Oh, there's stealing shitty jokes too.

He's doing a movie phone voice in Spanish. Rublin, Rublin, hey, hey, this is Schwarzenegger, Tottia boy. The Tottia boy is quite famous. You know a lot of the shorts and anger because we don't really understand. Right. Hey, all right, listen, we're going to take a break famous. You're not allowed to say shorts and egg jerks. Hey, we don't really understand. Right. Hey, all right, listen, we're gonna take a break real quick.

I gotta take a piss. We gotta do some ads, right? Yeah. I gotta do some reads, and then we're coming back for a half hour or so, and we'll be back out, but I do wanna talk about Thievery, and I wanna talk about,

fuck it, our new president, Donald Trump. Yeah. Okay. Drums, for me, come back. So, we'll be back. You guys, we're gonna go right to the chat room. You have any questions about the last hour or what the fuck you wanna ask anybody in here.

Put them up and we're gonna do Lauren's chat. Okay. Okay. Pussy chat. Lauren's chat, the cavernous chat. We'll be back right after this. Hey, we're back. All right, check this out, people, people.

Oh, I don't know what to do now. All right, check it out here. This is it. Golf first major is right around the corner. I actually've grown to like golf, maybe because I'm older, but I do. I don't mind throwing it on on an afternoon I just wish I could smoke in my house and I fat bat. I might get it outside TV

But here's the deal the first major is right around the corner and you can play one week fantasy golf That's a great draft Kings is right now for free. You can play for free at draft Kings dot com Just pick six golfers. I love this. You can bet on golf. Stay under the salary cap and rack up points for streaks, per whole, perform performance, right? Tournaments finishes, whatever you want. Check that out. You can, there's a bunch more you can do. Whatever, whatever you can bet and golf you can bet. Outscore the competition and you can win big every single tournament. Whether you live and breathe golf or you just want, you know, you just want to try it. Have a new fantasy sport. Draft Kings brings the excitement of the game to the whole new level with every monster drive and made putt bringing you closer to victory.

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Draft Kings brother. Use promo code Kelly at DraftKings.com and play for free. I need you to do that. Here's the thing. They throw us some cash to promote this to you and you use Kelly. Okay, at DraftKings.com and you get to play for free. So we all it's a win-win-win that's the promo code kelly for free entry now only at draft kings dot com that's draft kings dot com i want to let you guys know that uh... i want to thank the people that vader sticks my bet my boy chad

and chris over at Sabian Symbols. If fucking hook me up big time and the guy's over at Ludwig. Amazing guy's over at Dark Horse Drums too. Everybody's from fucking super, super nice to me. So I wanna appreciate that. And I wanna say go right now, grycast.com.

We have an amazing new show called Mis misery loves company that is fucking killing it It's killing it. I can't tell you it's Off the fucking I mean I you know you got you got I'm so proud of the network right now. I'm blue a florentine We got Nick DePolo We got news whore man. He'smeller, Rich and Bonnie, the Bailey J show. We got the comedy sellers live at the tables coming back, and we got the Misery Loves Company. Just to name a few. It's fucking hilarious.

Go check it out, subscribe review, and there you go. We're back into the show, right? The fuck now. All right, check it. What's up? We're back. Check it. Oh, Skopo's not here.

Should we wave him? Oh, no. No, he'll be a few minutes. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Fuck you talking about. I was just a joke. Like the show we would stop. Before we left we were talking about a bunch of shit. And here's the real fucking thing. First of all, I said we're going to go right to the chat. So let's go to the chat real quick. All right.

Big dick wants to know who in the podcast will be the next to die. And a mega tech guy says goman gomas dies by knife fight outside the seller. Well, I'd have to get booked at the seller. Yeah. And you have to be able to afford a knife. Oh, you make money. Sorry. I'm getting nice. Nice. Nice. Bob, imagine I'm just making a joke that's untrue about you over and over again. Like, Bob is skinny. Bob is. You're the bad. You're bad. We just say like it. The making skinny jokes about Bobby all day I won't point you back dude

I mean I am fat. Oh what money is to you when money is to me is different. No, yeah You make substantial more than money than me, but you got your money 42 years your money's not really money Yeah, okay, I'm doing financially better than any other comic at my level I'm in this room. I'm I might be I might be doing better than any other comic at my level I might be doing better than Mark Maybe Norman makes a lot of money Norman does the road a lot What about him? This guy makes pesos

I don't know, I could be doing better than Doug I'm just fucking kidding Well no, the point is you keep on making the same fucking joke And at one point I gotta go, hey guys I'm not actually fucking poor I'm not actually not getting paid to do things Buddy, I gotta raise your show I have two They make money. I do stand up every single Living in the hot road. Who gives a shit? What? Who cares? I care. Why? Because why? Because? Why? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango, dango,ango, dango, dango, dango,ango I was almost at my friend's. My lawyer's going to be soar from throwing that orange.

I'm a spit water on my computer. I need my mommy John surgery after that. Zodium made literally like a bikini underwear. I couldn't even see the shorts I was wearing. And we just dance and coiled up with like just sun-tan oil in the sun. And I'm going, Tommy, Tommy, to tip, to tip. And my other friend was lying on a lounge chair,

and I just danced over him, Tommy, to tell me, to tip, to tip, and I put my belly button on his belly button and my dick on his end, and I just lied on top of him, and I was going, Tommy, to tell me, to tip, to tip, singing the song, there's a video of that. So please

find it. Now, farly chiming nails video. Yeah, yeah, worse. What else we got? Did Norman ever fuck that sports illustrated model from OV and Jim? Yeah, did you? Oh, man, I tried. You were really fucking mean to her. Yeah, well, she was beat a cunt. Yeah, but they like that, though, they like when you're mean to them. Who's that? Women? hot women. Yeah, women really like. though. They like when you mean with it. Who's that women? Hop women. Yeah women really like

Like if you're dick to a chick. Yeah, that immediately gets a posi way of speaking of dicks If you're gonna send dick picks in which they did this week What's the what's your email address producer at YKWD? Yeah, producer at YKWD. Don't send them to me Okay, even though I couldn't stop looking at these Strange beautiful co Cox you sent. I didn't even know Dicks looked like that. Oh really? Yeah, there was just probably I didn't see in his ears. Dude, if you get to make jokes about

my dick, make it facts, okay? They'll turn around. So yeah, please send them to that. Go ahead. Yeah, So what were you saying? Um, yes, so you never fucked there. No, I tried, but I got some good jokes off her. So that was almost as good. Well, it's a deal with not fucking hot chicks. Ha ha ha ha you know I killed her. Anyways, give it up for Amy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Political correctness is getting to us, huh?

I like these getting dirtier and dirtier. Yeah. They want to take a shot. I don't know how to say. He's just on his phone so I'm sad. He's in the medical unthinkable podcast. The internet is so fast here. A lot of planning. What is podcast? Well, the internet. just on his phone so I said in the medical on think old podcast the internet is so fast here.

Planting what is podcast well the internet what is internet 12 computer what is computer? You see a little kid. See a little kid. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I I yeah, okay mayonnaise Monster or mozzarella Man, hey, baby male maize

What do you want? Monster or mozzarella as a cheese mozzarella? What did it? I would say mozzarella. I mean on what though? Yeah, I mean melted. Yeah, it's mozzarella regular. It's fucking months I always picture monster being just a black cheese. Because when I lived in Harlem, I'd get people, I hear people be like, you'll give me a turkey and monster. And they call it monster.

I've never eaten monsters. Good cheese. Good cheese. I think it's more versatile than mozzarella. Yeah, it's good on a sandwich. Yeah. I keep thinking of taking this question. Exactly.

You know, I'm off a cheat. My cholesterol was through the roof. They put me on stats. Why were you more cheese? I can't believe we're taking this question. You know, I'm off a cheat. My cholesterol was through the roof. They put me on stats. Why were you, why? One more cheese. Because all I did was eat fucking fat and protein for two years. My insides are rotten.

Do not do that diet. Really not. What did you do last time? What did you do? What did you do last time? I changed everything. Now it's no fat. I can eat carbs.

I can eat sugar. I eat fish. You're doing no fat diet. No fat. That's crazy. I mean, you can do the real last time. So as long as you're eating a lot of fruit and vegetables. You're fine Fat fucked up my you don't want to have a ton of these That could be that could be her hereditary. It is hereditary

But I never had that problem before that diet all of the studies right now that are out there saying a high fat high protein diet Is the healthiest and all of your vitals are great? I don't I don't eat like cuz I I don't I don't need, like, cause I, I don't, I don't eat. What the fuck? You should be eating lean meats and you should be, you shouldn't be doing all fat in your diet. But if you're doing, you're, your, your largest portion should be from vegetables.

And then you're doing lean proteins and you're doing a little bit of fat. That's fine. You could have, you could have cheese, you could have whole milk. Fat is healthy. Fat there's nothing left. I've cut, I've cut cheese, I've cut whole milk.

I, all fat I'm cutting out because it raises my cholesterol I know my cholesterol has gone down since I changed my diet. You know you're right. You shouldn't here's the thing No, in reality you should be eating from the earth. You should be about not like what about in like the fourth dimension Not in reality What I hate when I get fucking MMA Lewis I hate when I get fucking MMA Lewis. Uh-huh. Fucking his serious show, Lewis. The reality, the substantial fucking requests of the national

I know what I'm talking about. All right, shut up. Now you have a look better than that. I took the ball, you have to be a bit A bit permanently? Like what, it changed with your diet. Now it's permanent. Whatever.

What do you mean? Like your insides are not No, I'm bringing it down. I'm bringing it down. You change your diet. You alter your body. That's what happens He or what you eat. Yeah, I never should have took a break Fuck you guys really I look the air out of this fucking show Yeah, I'm some struggle. I put the one with the captain's hat back on. Do you need that? Yeah? Yeah, I like that just sit right back

Then we hear Three-hour pod. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah, you're Gilligan. Yeah. Who are you? I'm a gentleman. I'm not a millionaire.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. This is poor. This is poor. This is poor. This is poor. This is poor. This is poor. This is poor. This is poor, this is poor, this is poor. It's not true. Look, I've got $40.

I have a metro card that's always valid. Look, you have eight free podcasts. None of my podcasts are free. Oh shit. What did you say? I said, I said, Lee, Jean, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, said, Legion, you have to pay for the exclusive access to both shows. You have to pay for real ass dude. No, not yet, but you have to pay for hammer fisting. Hammer fisting is over.

We're launching, we're actually, yes, we're re-launching hammer fisting on the guest digital network. It will be exclusive to the guest digital studio. You have to pay to to pay to get him. So many parts. You're gonna have to pay wait a minute. So how's this going? What do you mean? You're gonna pay for hammer fisting? Here's the way it works. How would you do that? Well, you're gonna tell you. It's gonna be one of the exclusive podcasts. We have a bunch of podcasts that we're gonna offer for free on iTunes, a handful of episodes, and then if you pay the exclusive access, which is a small fee, you get... Why?

Can I ask for the fees? You know you're kinda now to get, you know? Mark, Mark! Oh, I'm sorry, I blacked out. This is the interesting mark. Tuesdays with snorries. Wow. Fucking, right.

I thought he was the dead. Aaron, we're not pun guys, Aaron. We're gonna come with energy. Alright. energy. I like punts. I like punts. Yeah so do I'm saying they don't accept them from like a mussely bald guy they don't like it. I really do look ridiculous. I know it's weird. It makes me happy you know it's what I wanted as a child and I live with it. I'm gonna take this out of you. I get you hot. You did it. I'm gonna take a side off. I'm gonna take a side off. I'm gonna take a side off. You did it. I did it.

So anyways, you know. You can whistle from gaze. I bet gaze would love you. Fudge sticks. I've been looking at me like crazy. Oh, I know I'm engaged. I know I'm engaged. I'm fucking swatting away, pussy like fucking,

oh, it's crazy. Wow. I know that. We men in love. We married. Zoom in in on you and like, I'm this trailer. It's the upper chest. But I've. This troller. It's also the upper chest

But I've been called a fact I got the bag of 40 seconds to attract women Composition hang on a second pay attention to the fucking show Go ahead when you are married Yeah, and then you have this troller with your kid women are like Exactly because you you can't procreate like your thing works with your kid women are like, I wanna fuck that kid. You are the alpha. Daddy. Exactly, because you can't procreate like your thing works.

And also you are in a relationship. So you are not afraid of that. So women are very. Well, yeah, biologically women go, oh, I want that guy to take care of me. That's a thing. That's why we're like funny guys. They're like rich guys, smart guys.

It's because it's like in their head, instinctually or in their body, physiologically, they go, I wanna be taken care of so I should cheat A woman can have what funny. It's a sign of intelligence 20 or 30 kids in their life Like I mean they can have 20 or 30 opportunities to have from what is 15 to 40 you said how many kids have 90 15 to 40 he said how many kids Lord have 90 With her vagina spit them out. They come out like this

We can have as many as we want Don't you like this swish they're a basketball? It's actually a backwards Yeah, what? What? I think it's fucking daddy. I think it's daddy. I think we also discourage women now from being moms, being housewives. Like, the truth is women instinctually, they want to take care of things. It's the truth.

I know. When you start using big words, it makes you think, it's a big word to me. And to you for me is it just makes me laugh. Because I you know, I'm sorry. It's you go ahead. What about all these tricks now? We're like, oh, I don't want kids. I don't hear that a lot. I think that's a fucking defect.

I think when women said I don't want to have kids, I think that there's something wrong with that. You're hanging with Gavin again. It's too much. No, I'm not hanging with Gavin at all. It's the truth. I mean, if you men too, if you say I don't want to have kids ever, you are going against your nature. It's interesting. It's interesting. You say that because there are some guys that I know

that are never going to hear. I know guys that are never going to have kids or I know guys that are never going to be in their fucking relationship. So what happens? You okay, your 50s find 60s, 70s, 80s. The end of your life and you're alone. It's like, I don't know, that fucking scares the fuck out of me. You know what's funny? On the other end, is this funny? Am I gonna laugh at this? No, no, no, that's not funny. You know, it's crazy though. Thank you. It's crazy. On the other end, I go now that I got a kid, there's this weird thing

I'm like, fuck dude, I'm gonna have to deal with dying and he's gonna lose me. I'm gonna have to maybe him being hurt at one point. Now, I have to go to the hospital because my kid got hurt and basketball practice or fucking got hit by a car. That is really scary as well. Nobody really ever tells you that and that's the only thing that I don't like about parent. Everybody tells you that everybody says you're going to worry about this fuck for the rest of your life now. Once you have that kid you're going to think about him dying all the time. It sucks. It's really. You think about your kid fucking every time a car goes by in front of my house. I'm like I just pitch a max going, die and running and thunk in the scene from a pet cemetery

which is running through. It'ser in the down the road. Dude, we used to make fun of that scene as kids. Now that I got a kid, I can't even watch that dude. It's my heart dude. The little and these threes exactly James's age and the fucking thing just crashes into him and you see a little fucking boot like boot rolled on the street. I can't imagine like people like kids drowned, you know.

Remember the story, they went to their summer house, their little fucking two-year-old found a hole in the fence, crawled through it, went in the pool, and just died in the neighbor's pool. And they're not even looking for, and that's why my wife, I'm like, you fucking keep your eyes on that fucking thing. He should never, ever be the fuck out of your sight.

I'm putting a fence in my backyard, because I don't, he, the other day, I'm watching him and then she took over and then all of a sudden he's out front and it's like, whoa, it happens that fast. He's like, max max, and they don't fucking know. No. That's why the suburbs are kind of scary too,

because in the city, you never, like there's never a time where he's like, on a fucking city block by himself. He's always hold my hand. Have you seen every scene the kids like walking and like even the school kids they walk like little ducklings holding each other's hands. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's it's it's it's you know you don't think they can run around the yard or whatever. I'm not a kid though. I was out front. I'm in the street me too. Nobody nobody nobody knew where the fuck I was. I in the woods Down the block and beat up some fucking places fucking a Monte Carlo was coming. It was made a steel Sensors it was just battling down the street with fucking playing Led Zeppelin and I and we were just in the street

I remember when we were fucking first out of driving how reckless we were the drinking I was just fucking stupid we just had races down the fucking side of the the drinking a lot I was just fucking stupid we just have races down the fucking side of the support call the set we're gonna burn out oh my god 60 all took us one little fucking three year old to one out in front of the car and they're gonna explode like a deer I used to get around in Boston and the winter time when I was like 10 grabbing the in the on the snow grabbing a bumper we did that too I was great I would go from one town to the next on a bumper. Yeah, just fucking we called it mushing grab on the side of a bus at any moment I fall I'm fucking does a car a foot behind That was rollable as we grab on the back of the bus and we go from West Habershire to fucking the nanny

To another guy right in the city the other day someone get the back of his own roll blades in the back of my car I pulled the car over. Yeah, I don't want to pick on the back of your car. Yeah, and they just were stints. They were following I would pull the car over. I was a kiss I'm talking to face Why fucking bumper queer? You're holding on to my bumper you psycho pad and you still have roller blades get the fuck out I just got a new car. Oh I got this fucking hot. What are we talking? I got Ford edge sport I got it. It's fucking hot. What are we talking?

I got Ford Edge Sport top of the line. Every fucking option you could possibly get. It parks itself. Who's the who, right? I don't know what it is. It's a big SUV. It's not a big one. It's not the big one. It's not, it's the middle one.

There's a little one and then the big one mine's a little one. It's in the middle and it's leather seats. Leather, leather, suede seats. Swede. He did and cooled. My seat's an AC. Oh, my God. So there's an AC button. So you got a sunroof. uh... leather seats leather leather suede seats suede heated and called my seat is it so there's an ac button so you it's got a sunroof to it's the whole sunroof all the big moonroof that open yet

it's the whole roof is car parks itself probably get in another car so what do you do now now we will do that is anything i never heard of cold seats uh... yet it's a call it's always heated. Let's be honest. What did you say?

What is a car? I mean, you don't have to do it. You get it going? What do you do? You go to the car in front and then you just push it and parallel parks it. You're in the car and it's perpendicular and parallel. So you can pull in, you push the button and then you have to drive and it looks for a spot. When it finds a spot, stop and then you just let go of the wheel.

I literally stuck my hands out the sunroof and it fucking just parked the car. Do the fingers your wife for you? Yeah, it's got, it's fucking crazy dude so when you drive it if there's a any car in your blind spot lights up on the wing on the Jesus so it tells you that how far do you think I got a I got a front camera that sees around corners oh so when you're coming out of a parking garage or something you hit that and it'll look around the corner so you know when you come out of the garage in New York and you can't see the bike coming

or the fucking idiot on a skateboard, you can see that. Wow. Everything is clear, Bobby. And then, yeah, it's got fucking it. How far does internet, how far do you think we are off from having the car just literally typing your destination? They haven't had it.

And then it just goes. They haven't now, but here's the thing. And I'll say this with this car, you have to, you know, You're just having that. They have it now. And then it just goes. You're just having it. They have it now, but here's the thing. And I'll say this with this car, you have to, you know, it's not going to, you know, it has these sensors, but if a fucking truck flips in front of you, right? So like my car, I'm coming down the road going over the white stone bridge, and I'm flying. All of a sudden there's a traffic jam.

You ever have that where you fly in, and there's just, with this not no traffic. All of a sudden it's a dead stop and you're like, I'm fucking dead. Yeah. We're dead. Someone's dying. That and my car senses that and breaks for you. And the light goes off in the front and goes, bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb And it scares the fuck out of you, but it literally slows the car down. So if I'm in cruise control, it automatically will sense that and just stop the car.

Yeah. And they just said, Chinese tech company is going to try to make it commercial viable by 2018. Wow. I think that's awesome. I love it. I like it. I like it. I like it.

You have to take away some of the joy of driving. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.,000. A lot of it got 500 miles. That's only one third of what I make per year. And everyone. So you could get one. I can buy three of those this year. Yeah. Yeah, you could get one, but you'd have to get somebody to co-sign a loan. But you credit still sticks.

But actually, also not true. All right. Fuck, we have any fun with you. It's funny when you're poor. Yeah, it's funny when you're rich. Yeah, it's not better when you're doing it. No, I'm not true. All right, fuck, we have any fun with you. It's funny when you're poor. Yeah, it's funny when you're rich. Yeah, it's not better when you're doing it. I'm not rich. So none of us in this room are fucking rich.

No. None of us. Yeah, the 500 miles on one charge, which is damn. That's crazy. Now you can go to Boston. Right. Right. And then, and it's going to drive itself.

They actually have a car right now, Mercedes has a car out that you can buy and when you're on the highway, you can hit the button and it will drive. It will fucking just drive. And you can just talk to the person in front of you. And just hang out. Yeah, I mean, I get what you're saying about having control.

That's why I'd rather drive than use the subway. But still, it is pretty cool if you just want, if you're tired, right? You're just like, dude, I don't wanna, you think about how many times at night you're like your eyes are gonna close coming back from a gig You're like dude. I don't want to have to really pay attention that much. How great is it? Just go fucking put it in take me there Dude you'll be able to fuck like okay, so I'm coming out of my car

The all right the next Ford that comes out I can start my car from the house right the next Ford that comes out, I can start my car from the house, right? The next Ford computer that's gonna be in there, so you get off a plane, you'll be able to go to your Ford app, push the button, that will start your car in the garage of the airport, and then come and pick you up at the gate, but no, no, no, they have that, but they'll have that, we'll come find you. But I think it's Tesla, it's coming out with that.

We're going to push a button and it will come to where you're fucking for this. Wow. Wow. Yeah. They said by 2020 they're going to have 10 million self-driving cars. That's going to be the weirdest thing I'll be just watching cars with no one in it. Yeah. I mean, like what the fuck is going on?

The car's coming around again. I hear a V. I, I fucking love it. I can't wait for that. cars coming around again. I'm here I I Fucking love it. I can't wait for that. I can't wait. I let me tell you something right now I got the how great was my Alexa? Oh That shit was awesome. I have an Amazon Echo. Yeah, which is I think 170 you can buy off Amazon It's the shit. What is it? It's like Siri, but you just put it on your counter and then you go Alexa, what's this? This is the answer.

Wait, one of Google's cars. That's we have to bring in Alexa. Why? So we can talk to her. We don't need more random stuff. This is a friend. One of Google's self-driving cars crashing to a bus. No, that happened.

But that's got to happen. Yeah, but I guarantee you how many fucking idiots are crashing into buses. So it's easy just to go, oh shit shit one of the self-driving cars did it You're gonna you're gonna have accident I promise it's gonna be safer than idiots that don't have to drive But here's what's gonna happen the car is gonna go the speed limit. Yes No, it's not a problem. It's actually good because not for me the people that are on the highway are gonna Fuck and be doing the speed limit now instead of fucking lunatics 90 but then cops will give tickets

and the government, the state won't have money from tickets. Well, and this is where it's gonna also get, this where it's also gonna get kind of crazy because then when they start implementing it, where everybody has to do it, which I can see them create some sort of regulations, where like, this is a safer way to do it,

then it becomes a little bit weird, you know. It's freedom. Yeah, I wanna drive my own car. And they're saying, no, you have to drive this car. Yeah, I wanna drive my own car. And they're saying, no, you have to drive this car. Yeah, they'll never do that. It's always gonna be an option. And in these cars, it's an option to have it drive yourself. We'll see, man.

But for truck drivers, you're exhausted. You're fucking tired. But you can, I was thinking a lot in 40 years. Mercedes trucks are so big, it's gonna take time for that to happen. No, Mercedes has one. A truck, dude. A truck where you push a button, autopilot, it's gonna take time for that to happen. No, Mercedes has one. A truck, dude. A truck where you push a button, autopilot, it fucking drives.

And the chair actually moves back, turns sideways and becomes a bed. What? And literally just take a fucking nap. If you have the sensors on my car, can park it? Can you be a drunk, in that case would they allow you to drink and drive? No, you're not driving. No, they wouldn't allow it.

If you could sleep, but you're not allowed to have a party. Yeah, that's maybe. Maybe you know that's maybe. It's part of the reason. All right, questions about cars. Can you rape in a car? Oh, I'm not a rapist. I think if you were maybe dead, let it be known, guys.

I don't actually rape. All right, we know you don't. You're raging on the money. I don't rape. Any more. Rich Lewis doesn't. I was just like, we know you don't. You're ready. You're on the run. I don't rip. Any more. Rich Lewis doesn't rip. Rich Lewis has got to throw it.

I got to break it. I got to break it. You'll be right back. When you get that car. I got this new, I tell you, I got this fucking Alexa. You put it on your table in the kitchen. It jumps onto your internet. It hooks up to you, Google Calendar.

I got an app for it. You literally just go Alexa, what am I doing today? Tells you your fucking schedule. Alexa, how much traffic does it? And I don't want 45 if you go to the side. Alexa, if anything, whatever you want to spell, what you want to know, a fact, how much money does Louis make? That is not documented. Yeah, it's fucking amazing. And it's only what's that?-driving truck. Yeah, it's all right now So I had a trucker meth. Well, it's it's fucking great. I think the technology's great and the they just I mean Boston robotics if you know they had that dogs amazing fuck that they actually got mother

One that stands up and walks now like a human opens a door I saw that and you can't kick it down They have a motorcycle, okay that you get in it like a car and it cannot be knocked if a car hits it It still doesn't get knocked off slightly leg off. I got gyroscope. It keeps it exactly The downside is that people will lose jobs for example the track It's exactly the downside is that people will lose jobs for example the track The Always need a human being behind the wheel and also beyond that The photo

That's his iPad he's holding yeah, I agree I agree with him because you will end up Eventually will be just self-driving trucks one day down the road I guarantee that's the case We're gonna have a you can press a button, but the truth is, how many jobs are you creating by creating an entire industry? You're not gonna be on the high end technology. You're exactly, but you're not gonna be alive. I guarantee you, you won't be alive,

because you're gonna have a heart attack, but he'll probably be alive for at least 40 more years. There, no, he's not gonna be the fucking Argentinian stakes, have you seen those? That's cholesterol's worse than this fucking Jews over here. But yeah, all that, the idea that robots will take everyone's jobs, that's just creating new industries. Technology only helps get into it.

It changes, it does, but it's gonna take away jobs from fucking just those blue-collar guys. Yeah, but they're still gonna give jobs to nerds like Mark and his dreams. They're still gonna be guys that are packing boxes in those fucking f**k nights. No, they're not, because the boxes are gonna... There's not these that have been done. There are already fucking getting, there are already using robots to f**k it because the boxes are already fucking get dirty using robots to fucking Amazon is

robots yeah there's nobody in the fucking they have very few people in the warehouse so your Amazon is hurting the economy Bob no Amazon is it's great for the economy it's great for us but their warehouses don't have people in

them anymore it's a f**king robot palette that weighs it and brings it to the truck and goes on the truck. The whole conveyor belt, go to B&H photo. Amazon uses that electronic computer system to ship stuff all around. That used to be a guy, but that used to be a guy loading a fucking box and putting it on them. Exactly. It doesn anymore so yes but i'm saying that blue guy learning a box so that blue collar guy is gone is is getting out he's gonna have all engineers that are working at amazon there's so blue collar guys that are sweeping the first there is i'm not saying that

it's over but it's creating way more jobs and it's crazy tobles who this one fucking person in the tobooth and the rest are all easy pass those are all blue collar jobs, gone. State jobs, my wife's father was a Tobalth guy. State job, pension, everything for the rest of his life, gone. Why? Fucking technology, gone. Blue collar jobs will be replaced by fucking technology.

When they learn how to fucking, when a guy can put a suit on and pick up a fucking a thousand pound box, they're not going to need five guys in a four-clif. They're going to have one guy do it. I think they're always going to have guys. I think it depends also on which part of society are you? I don't know why I started you. We have the money to enjoy technology. I do.

Well, it's good for us. It's good for us, but we are poor. Everybody are losing jobs. We're talking about me. We know. We know, Lewis. Well It's good for us, but we are poor everybody I lose We know we know Luis we're landscaping once they figure out how to make that I have I almost bought there's a fucking lawnmower right now that it is Miguel You just say Miguel cut the lawn have him Seriously, it's a robot so it's like the Rumba a rumble. What are the fuck? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha one thing, so technology's taken over fucking jobs, man. Half's a fucking lootly. Yeah. I love it, though.

What fucking, it's not scary. I think it's great. What's going to happen when someone hacks into the computer and that fucks up the job? Well, that's, they know you're long wrong. What's going to happen then? That'll be a horror movie. I already got it. I don't know.

I love technology. I love it. The new robot's going to have in your house is gonna be fucking great for us. To be able to just ask it any questions creatively, to fucking be able to sit down and just have it do something. I mean, we can talk to our phones now and you can do a text without typing while you're driving

without touching your phone. Voice. That's fucking, I mean, the rules went back like five years in technology. That's been around forever. Hey Siri, just come at the Hey Siri, just come out this year. Hey Siri, well you don't have to touch your phone. Well you just say if it's plugged in, you can do now the new iPhone this year, you can just go, Hey Siri, and it automatically goes on. You

used to have to be able to touch it. You had to actually manually fucking do something. My Alexa Alexa, you don't have to fucking touch it touch it you had to actually manually fucking do something my elect uh... alexa you don't have to fucking touch it anywhere in the house just say alexa play out scopa you're out of a gig soon ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I fuck this. But Bobby, he has nothing. I should kill Louis J. Gomez. He has $62,000 in the bank. Please give him the bump in, man.

That joke stunk. Let's get the fuck out of here, man. This has been a great show. Yeah, really fucking. Thanks for coming on, dude. Aaron, thank you for having me. What do you got buddy? What do you got Aaron besides fucking too much muscle? I'll be training arms this afternoon at I'll be in Pekipsi this Saturday at Laffitt Up Comedy Club. Come out and see that. That's a cool place dude.

I wish I was saying what night are you going? Saturday. Well on your way back maybe we'll hit the Saturday. Well on your way back maybe we'll hit the uh... maybe we'll hit the port house. Where's that in Jersey? It's over the tapancy. Okay. Right over the tapancy in Montville and they're over the three. That's the place where we can smoke inside. The steak and yeah. Okay, I'll do that. I'll do that. Well I said let's mirror the LA it. Maybe. It's not New York it where it's definite. Let's do maybe. We'll see see what happens next week March 24th to 26 I'll be in Vancouver at

I want to work there I met the guy I'll tell them to book. Yeah, I do I want to I work that out $9,000 to flight of ankle that's Alexa. I got to stop over. I didn't get direct flight and What are April 30th and recording a new CD Mr. Manor's live at the standing room in Long Island City two shows so come out and see that in a month. We're doing the standing room. We're in Berk, terrible idea. What are you crazy? It's like a live reading from the book so it's kind of a doing it in a long space. Oh, that was a good idea.

That's not common. Oh, it's your book. You read in a book. Yeah, but it's not a good book. Regular David Sedaris over here. He is a smart guy. That'll be great. Oh, it's your book you read in the book. Yeah, but it's yeah, that sounds like the tending regular David's the day or something Yeah, he is a smart guy. That'll be great. Yeah, buddy. Thanks. Coming on. Thanks for having me. What do you got there? I have my show April 7th New York comic club. They are Gentini as rancho. Okay. This is a second show. So is it all Argentinians? No, no They had in the first one I was supposed to have Mark back to he couldn't come so I had Arisha fear and Gary Vider Yeah, maybe the next one. I'd love to do it. I love do it and anyone that wants to come to show up

Yeah, I was still here and It's go Yeah, I Nice If you want and I was that you are in the show. I can't work with go below No, I'm kidding if I would do it. So yeah, the first one was a sold out show, was a great show. When is it?

April, no, it's a Thursday. I used to be on Saturdays and they moved me to Thursdays because it was sold out. So they are like, yeah, it's good. April 7th, 8 p.m. OK, also sent 12 cents a day. First daughter. But just a cup of coffee.

Just buy a lime. Go on, Limes.com. Bring a noremch. Limes.com. Hey, where's the best Argentinian steakhouse in New York every found it? The thing is, that is a big thing that we can discuss for half an hour, but I don't go to steak houses.

We don't eat that in Argentina. What do you eat? Bob's. The thing is, the thing is my mother used to be first take every lunch. So for me it's not something special. Yeah. It's not a dig down. I used to eat bones. I used to eat steak three, four times a week at my house. So for me it's not something special. So I don't go to stay houses. And then when I we were taking clients, buddy, I just want to stay. I don't know the answer. I just want

to know. Fuck it's a skirt steak. You ever get the steak that kind of folds out and it's thin and long. It's my favorite steak, I remember. And they cook. I like to tell you two places in Buenos Aires where you will eat the best steak in your life. Let's go to the live. Let's go. How far much do you think you I am going to be performing in Argentina

from Medellín Pro to Olme. I'll be at the Chacolját in Santiago. All right. It's literally a hut. I will be at the chicken shed in my group. You're right. You're at the comedy. You really have the bombing.

The bombing in that area. I will be doing two shows at the Mlow Mind. I'll be doing this shit down as the captain. I'm supposed to playing violence as the ship's going there. Lewis, what do you got besides nine? Everybody hold on to this. I'm a alright, I got live shows. April 8th, I'll be back on Fox News Red I so check that out. April 15th and 16th, I will be up at the new Haw comedy club in Westchester. Yeah, where is that? Just opened up. Where?

I don't know, Westchester, somewhere in Westchester. Westchester is huge. Just fucking look up Haw comedy club. I promise you can find it. Then I'll be in Los Angeles, April 17th through the 20th through the 20th. What are you doing out there? Tony Hinchcliff's Kill Tony and a bunch of other shows, really funny. Yeah. Tony Hinchcliff's Kill Tony and a bunch of other shows really funny yeah I'll be in Vegas from the 21st to the 23rd covering UFC

197 with who with Mike Bissbing doing the captain. So you doing the there's flying you out. Yeah, serious. Yeah Yeah, I'm so happy for you to be fun dude. I told you that's where you fucking that should pocket No, I remember you telling me that I'm not back at a comedy and that I should just be doing MMA broadcasting I remember I never said that I'm not back at a comedy and that I should just be doing MMA broadcasting I remember I never said that hold it. I never said you were I'm gonna tell my death first of all I never said you were good at comedy. I I never I think you're great comedy. I brought you you've made that up and you had I've never said that I think I'm only thanking two people in my album. You're one of them. I said you you're great at MMA You should fucking focus on that

Yeah, you're really good at that and you did and now you go to fucking cover the thing with Michael Bisbeen and you're gonna be paying for you. I said that's why I initially liked you because you're hammer-fasting and you're fucking dedication to the Sport and you know everything about it and you're funny when you do it and now it's paying off so go fuck you. Give me back my UFC bag I gave you. Oh, yeah, you did. Yeah, and the fucking jacket. Dang. And the fucking other shirts and the other jacket and the other bag. And the money and the time and the dedication I put into you.

And the orange it threw it. And then also we're doing next week. We're doing a benefit in in Pennsylvania I think people can get tickets for that when is that that's next Saturday Bobby Bobby Bobby Bobby, but not this one not this Saturday. I'm next Saturday. I'm there. It'll be a problem I'm there about it cancel. It's in Pennsylvania. Well, we'll post it because I don't have the information I have a benefit gig Bobby's gonna haveopo, and Bobby, and Pennsylvania doing this. Yeah, I mean, you guys out there, right? Yeah, I would assume so.

Yeah. And go to obviously check out Legion of SanstinandFdcumby.com. Yeah. Real ass podcast on the brand new guest digital network and the countdown every Thursday. It's gonna be some standard time, series of exercises. What are you fucking raising?

I forgot something, Bobby. Yeah, what, talking into the microphone. Can you please push the mic up? Sorry. The Argentinian guy's doing it. Oh, yeah. I have a podcast now with Geno Bisconti. It's called In Hot Water.

Oh, very enjoyable. We're going to have to fix it a time. No, we're going to call it old laughs. Is that what you feel like? Somebody's pouring hot water on your head? No, we're going to do it in a hot tub. But then we decided not to because the noise. Right.

The noise meeting Geno. This is really the most painful. Jesus, that guy. We decided not to because the noise right Noise meaning do you know? Jesus that guy. Yeah, no shit love the pieces But the word last time he was on the show was three years ago, and I will never I shut the fuck I shut his mic off really I kept shutting off Fuck you the thing with eyes and how where is and then I fucking I will not Not in a million years would I have him back? Literally, we'll see the self-driving cars first all right My April's kind of blocked out. I'm in Melbourne festival. I don't know if you got any

What's it when yeah, April? Has that just for laughs? What is that? Uh, what's it, when? Yeah. April. Is that just for laughs? Uh, Melbourne comedy first. Cool. That's a great festival.

That's a great festival. Say hi to Kelly. Yeah, she's probably talking to one woman show. Or she hits you up trying to get her up a show. She hit you up. She hit you up. I already hit me up. Did you put her on?

No. But uh, hello. I have to take that at that hole. Right. Hello. Because she doesn't even have the advantage of having an accent. Like, hear that. What's your name? There is just she is. What she is. Is drawn in on for Apple now. Right, hello, because she doesn't even have the advantage of having an accent like hear that

There's just she is what she is is drone and on for happen hour No figious Back here Maybe down there now Tons of Australia The one that you knew yeah, I want you to fuck around the butt and open up that Fisher. Yeah, the fish. So you lose waste. You opened it.

Come on, let's go. All right, then I'm a man. I'm at Zainey's in Nashville. I'm at the funny bone in Newport. And the comedy mix of Vancouver and the NMA involved me on Twitter at Mark Norm and listen to Tuesday's with stories with me and Joe List. Who doesn't want kids ever by the way weird

I didn't want kids at all Never wanted them and then one fucking Rainy day. I was like she went you want kids. I was like yeah, I think I do That you guys tried for a while to well, we did want I mean she didn't want kids We used to go on vacation go look at like those people kids. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I never care about kids at all until I had it. Now I love kids. We stayed in a hotel. We would stay in these,

we would stay in no-codes hotels. Uh-huh. Like we would look for, because we want those fucks near us. And then one time she booked a hotel, there was a lot of kids hotel. It was a lot of kids and families. I was fucking miserable.

Misurable. I remember I was in the jacuzzi. They're too honest and they fucking just came up to me and they was like, hey, I was a kid though. I was a fat guy. Hey, what are you doing? I wasn't fat though. Well, I didn't know if it's joke isn't real,

we have to say. Oh. That's the thing now, right? I actually kept on slamming it at home. Oh, whatever, maybe something. You make enough money to go to a vacation We have I'm boning this girl now with an IUD. I'm just it all in there. It's the best Is it in there's the best?

The man's side is the best Zalb at coming inside when you're married and it's another girl is That's it. Oh, just chiseling a fucking new vatch. Just so good, dude. Just so much comic comes out of our asshole. Yeah. Some guys are afraid of it. Some guys are afraid, like, they're like, no, dude, I love it.

I love shooting a bunch of Max's in there. Yeah. It's the best. I don't get to do, I pull out now. I like seeing it too. That's also for shooting. It doesn't feel as good. I don't do nothing like coming and. I like seeing it too. That's also for shooting. It doesn't feel as good. I don't know.

There's nothing like coming and not like not seeing it. No, the other thing is terrible when she gets up and it drips out. Yeah. Oh, that becomes her problem. I like that. If I shoot it all the puts, I gotta get her a towel and help her.

I'll have a juuk bad if she had a problem. If I shoot it inside of her, she has to get up and hold her pussy like cussing. Come on out of here. She's slow. She runs over the bathroom. Look at him. Get away. She shoots it out of her pussy into C'mon, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on just to fucking I came the other day and it made the New York New York logo like that's how much come came out. I try to draw a swastika every time I come

well let's end on a bomb. No more left. More left. More left. More left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and left. More and. More I do. I got one. Oh, I'm sorry. April 23rd, 2016, the Renaissance Theater in Kingsport, Tennessee. Yeah. Go right now. Where is that on my website? Go to robacilive.com next week. I have the benefit with these two fucking eggheads and then and then read that again. When is it? April 23rd. Renaissance Theater, Kingsport, Tennessee. I got some dates by the way. Okay. Let me get through my STEM. I'm right now I'm on theater Kingsport Tennessee I got some dates by the way okay let me get through my system right to you. Let's go to you first you go I got uh this weekend I'm with Dan

Soder the brokerage so feels in life on room come check that out and then next Thursday I met Harris with Andrew Jones said noise. It's a lot of noise. Yeah. What are you on the phone. What you fucking ask the show's not over sit out. It's not over. No it isn't I'm Oh, Lewis. Yeah. What are you on the phone? What are you fucking ass? The show's not over.

Sit down. It's not over. No, it isn't. I'm still talking. Fucking asshole. Good. Okay. If you want to send anything to the studio, send it to YKWD podcast or Robert Kelly at 117 McDougal

Street, New York, 10012 and send us your dick pics. Oh, pussy pics. Let us your dick pics. Oh pussy pics. I see dick pics at producer at rikest.com. Don't send one dick pics to me. You send them to the producer at rikest. You can discuss this last one on the show. There's nothing funny about pussy. I want to send us dick pics. You want to see it? Yeah, let's see them. I want all the dicks. I want to see the pussy too. She's got it.

All right, so listen, here's the thing. Go to robacadelive.com for all my dates. What I wanna say, I think that's it, dude. That's it. Also on May 22nd, we're gonna be doing pod fest. Oh yeah! We're doing a big show, Louis, you're on it, right? Pod fest, yeah, yeah. We're doing me, Dan, Joe, Louis, on pod fest.

It's gonna be amazing, so make sure you get your tickets. How do they get them? Everything's up on our Twitter Facebook and Instagram or you can go to New York NYC Podfest on Twitter and they have everything there or They get tickets now. It's a small venue. Let's fucking get this sold out and done with. You guys are the best. What else do we get? Anything else? That's it. You guys are the best fans of the world. Thanks for listening to my show.

Thanks for following all these fucks on their Twitter. And Instagram, go to this show's live. Please support live comedy. Tell them you heard them from this show right here. I'll see you guys next week. You know what, dude? Bye. And they're all free and they're all free.