Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Aries Spears, Andy Steinberg, Rich Vos | Can't Have A Moment

Episode Date: June 14, 2021

This weeks YKWD we’ve got the hilarious Aries Spears, His podcast partner Andy Steinberg and The Legend Rich Vos! We get into documentary expectations, Paul Mooney and who would be the best looking woman! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Si no, por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga.

Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caixa Bank ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitas lo desde el móvil o a través de tu gestor. Informa tencaishabank.es. Caixa Bank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financieras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. Informa, tencaishabank.es. Caishabank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud.

Buscas contenido gratis. I wanna be free. Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Baby, we're startinglo sin pagar nunca. We'll be these back again. Old school, back in the day, we're all starting before them all. I think I might be dying to get to podcast. It's so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up, you're ruining this.

Break the bar and get out of this story. It's about any podcast. This is an NPR. That's what the podcast does. Is there anybody to shout? There's the original page in the house. So you should be in a play. This new original page. So, use your peanut butter.

We're back once again live from the studios. Finally, a year and a half in, our second show in two days. I'm very excited to be here in the heart of New York City, the comedy seller, laugh button studios. I have a very what? It's not a year and a half. It's a year and two months, a little over two months. So don't give misinformation right from the beginning It's it was started last March all right, he's the only one wearing a Rolex so he knows time. Yes

I've never hated God more than putting him in my life Do you know what I mean like It's just I don't I don't know why I Mosh can you introduce everybody please mosh Mike V. Swarris is at me Mike V. Swarris is over there producing in the new Production studio how you liking it over there, buddy? I love it. It's awesome. Love it. Let's give it up One of our guests made him go downstairs and run back up I don't know if he's out of breath right now He almost died. I'm a little bit, but we're working on airy spirits mad TV

Sort of there greatest voice ever by the way, and we have his podcast host Andy Steinberg podcast partner partner partner And of course we have the legend rich thoughts. What a fucks an oxy moron saying And of course we have the legend, Ritfoss. What a fucking oxymoron saying, mushy mic and run in the same sentence. He didn't run up and down the stairs. All right, he fucked up. You're the first one to get the bomb in it.

Bam! Well, you don't know what oxymoron is. I do, I know you know the second part. Can we not do this? I don't want them to think that that's what it's all about. Oh, it's not. Listen, I had the pleasure of the Windows podcast felt like two weeks ago.

Two weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it might have been two weeks ago. But it was on fucking Zoom. Oh, no, no, on StreamYar, but yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I thank you for, I called Robert up and said, love, look, man, I'm gonna be in New York for a couple days. So this is always better when it's in studio.

So thank you for having me back this quickly. And we got to have Iandian, which your podcast, first of all, is outrageous. I love it. You guys don't give a fuck. Not at all. We are uncut cocaine, baby. Yeah, I give a little bit.

You can hear me in the podcast is cringing sometimes. Yes, sometimes, but you have to be there just to save from going, yeah, to you two together. I would have never put you, I would have never put it together. I wouldn't have thought so either, but it works because that's why, you know, we had that phrase that you and the jerk, you know, because with me, I just, is that a shirt? No, but it works because that's why you know, we had that phrase that you and the jerk, you know, because with me

I just is that a shirt. No, but it should be. I'm gonna make that a shirt. I want to make Both I can be both It's black juice the one that looks like he's been in the desert for 40 years I But yeah, man I just died right now on a mint. Oh, great. You need nice water. No, I don't need ice water I'm ready to go with regular water. I'm sorry I need to get diva down Can I get ice I mean just I just you know some about cold water going down. This is awesome. Don't we have a fridge?

Yes, it's not like yes, we'll take care of that in the future What are going down this is awesome. Don't we have a fridge? Yeah, we'll take care of that in the future. Thank you died from a minute like a mighty Python fucking scene Remember that okay, I'll give it back to myself Save You don't remember that scene What listen But let me ask you a question. I have electricity, but listen to me. It's, you gotta see the scene.

I don't, play another way for thin men. Listen, I understand you, I need a bucket. That one. It's the best scene ever in front. I never watched that shitty, I gotta fight with somebody about Monty Python. I never got into that shit. Yeah.

And I never got into the Canadian TV. What is that? Again, and I told you when I did the podcast first time, man, and I often say this type of shit, when I podcast, I'll go school of Patrice, well, I'll quote something or mention something he did, but I remember when he was on ONA, he did this thing about being in Britain

and how horrible British comedy he was British comedians and comparison to R-Shit and I think he said something. Give it up for Izzy Gigglepop or some shit like that. But yeah, to that note, yeah, come on man. It's an A-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E our roster versus their roster is like the 92 dream team. I remember when we went to Amsterdam with Keith and Patrice, they were so offensive to our hosts, because they would take and you know, Dutch money, it's got, it's light, it's little, it's not American coins are fucking hefty and heavy,

the court is a motherfucker. You know, even the pennies got some fucking oomph. But they got little tiny dimes that their money don't weigh shit and they would take their money, the change and just throw it, he goes, yeah, they throw it at like regular people on the street, they hear some goobong leapins and just hucking at their feet.

But like take your diggy doggies and you pick a goopong leapins, you clop a goopies. And people were like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, and they would have to pick it up because it was like a dollar 50. But they would just such ignorant assholes. Yeah, sometimes I think I push the button on ignorance, but then I realize how much I don't want to hear those stories. Yeah, he's a fucking what?

Not that, I just think Patrice was overrated. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and we talked about it. Did you like it? Well, I was in it, so yeah, fuck yeah, I love it. Well, I mush, get me, I'm not hooked up here. Yes, I loved it. I love it. Here's why. First of all, because I was in it, so what's good for me is good, right? But here's another thing.

With Patrice, everybody wants it to go, there's so many roads you could go down. You could have went the Brazil road and all that shitty did. You could have went O&A, Ope and Anthony, you could have went the Brazil road and all that shitty did. You could have went O&A, Opey and Anthony, you could have went tough crowd. But I wish they did. But I never had so much.

I kind of felt like I didn't see anything or anything that I didn't already know. And I knew that there was so much more that people should have known. I wish they would have went into the story about him and the whole going to jail thing and that story about the guy that said, can you let that happen? So I just felt like we didn't get. Yeah, but here's the thing. You're we're comics, so we know it. The average public didn't know what they saw. And they only had average average. I said the average. Okay. Okay. He speaks better now, man. They only had, they only had, you know, so much, they could, you know, they had a piece together of what they had, you know what I mean?

Yeah, but here's the thing though, you had, this is the problem. It's because he affected so many motherfuckers. I died and they did the documentary, it'd be one through line. There'd be three people that'd be interested in it, and everybody else would be like, yeah, it was good. But Patrice affected you, affected little cav,

affected fucking corny, white comics and Detroit. He affected everybody had their own little story with Patrice. So when they wanted to see the documentary, they wanted to see their version of it, their version of Patrice. You know what I mean? I know what you mean.

So I just felt like if you put everything on the table in terms of, I mean, left no stone unturned in terms of where you could have went. Yeah. They did, there was so much meat that they left me. Tell me a piece of meat. Give me a piece of meat. Like I said, the thing about him going to jail,

okay, bring that up now with cancel culture. Listen, you bring that up now with cancel culture. Listen, you bring that up now with cancel culture. You're gonna have to, you're gonna have to go through that like a true crime fucking documentary now because they would have fucking attacked his legacy. Those people, those motherfuckers, that those cock suckers who like to find shit on people would have went, oh he was this this. I know what you're saying.

So now you're saying, so that's the decision you have to make. Do we open, if we open up that side, okay, now we got a, now we got to fucking deal with those people. But if we're staying true to who Patrice was, he wouldn't have gave a fuck. I know it's disturbing that I actually have to suck on the nipple to get water. And they call it a can of worms. If you open it up, open up that can of worms. Next time you have to bring that same, say open up a can of worms.

I hate you more than I've hated anything in my life today. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know why you're doing this. It's helping you out. You're telling me to invest in gold. Yes. What were the other thing you was saying before the show? Oh, well, one time I was at Bobby's or somewhere

We were together. I can't this is the one. We're just shit ever I'm going to this clone and Bobby like goes. That's great. Cologne. So now whenever I'm with Bob it We're gonna get a nice comp, you know, everybody likes a nice compliment I don't even know what to do with that. I was worried I might not have anything to say on this podcast But now I'm feeling much more open if like to communicate Do you like can't go any different than that? I know you can't know there's no there's no that that is the creepier shit a friend has said to me That I know that he's thinking about me when he gets out of the shower and he's putting on

Jesus Christ, but you know what I'm saying. Yeah, so now okay, so now do the say okay another meaty thing the Brazil stuff Right the Brazil stuff, right? The Brazil stuff. Great. Now you got, he's a sexist, he's a, you got, but in today's culture, you put that out there, you run the risk of fucking dealing with those people because they're looking to fuck his legacy up. They want to take those guys out.

So you have to make a decision. It'd be one thing if Patrice was alive and they were trying to do that documentary and you say, but the more fuck is dead. Now I'm not just saying it. Yeah. His legacy is intact for the people that matter. But I stopped you for one second, too. So his mom, his family, his daughter, it's already been done. Yeah. That documentary was they did it on Howard Stern. They did it on open Anthony.

It was already fucking talked about this version of Patrice has never been told. Which which to me, it's like, look, if you're a stern fan, if you're an a fan, well, then you know that. Right. If you're not a stern guy or an O and a guy, you don't know that. But if you're not a Stern guy or an O&A guy, you don't know that, but when you put a documentary on Comedy Central, which is basically McDonald's for everybody in Comedy, everybody's got Comedy Central.

Now we're putting it on a bigger platform than everybody's gonna see it. So even more so, let's give people what they didn't know. But here's the deal, from where, from where the, look, the documentary was hijacked, the first one, okay? Right. They were, they were putting, they were putting, I mean, Jesus Christ, Jeff Roth was in it.

I mean, I wasn't in it. I wasn't in it. They didn't even call me. You weren't in the first one. They didn't even call me. And I, not for nothing, I called out, and I was like, listen, I don't wanna be in it. I don't care.

But. But that's what I'm saying. I should have known it was the first one. There was first one that got kind. They took money and all the shit and it all kinds of fucked up should happen. So burr, right? And comedy central and Mike Bonfiglio and Vaughn and Patrice's mom, right? Got together and they're like, let's do it. Let's, let's make it happen. Cause this should have happened.

It never did. We need to give the fans something on Patrice. So they can remember. So when they go and do that, it's like, okay, what story are you gonna tell? Are we gonna tell the story, the inside story that, like me and you are gonna be like, holy shit. First of all, you know, I got a kid in the married now too.

I mean, we, we gotta date some of this shit. That fucking loud mouth went on stern. I mean, I told my wife on a vacation. And this fucking, this guy, this cocksack is on stern, telling all kinds of secret. I mean, he's fucking a rat, if you ask me. I know my wife's a good one. He's worse than the fucking,

the same, the bull, Gravano. Cocksack, I went in front of, you know what I mean? I mean, what the fuck? And he had two or three trips of people to rat on. Oh, that cock. A cock-sack of wet in front of you don't even know I mean what the fuck? He had two or three trips of people to rat on. Oh that cock. I mean, he went to first time. He went, I remember on Stern, I'm like,

what are you doing? I mean, look, he protected all of us, but still it's like, what, you're going on the biggest platform you, we signed a fucking jizz oath. She's the one. Anyways, Jim, so you know, I understand that, but like, you're a big wrestling fan, right? Wrestling?

I saw it off in the 80s. Alright, so you got like a new Jack, right? Well, they did just did one on the ultimate warrior. Oh yeah, yeah. But they did too. So someone did one that was a little fucked up, but more about the drugs and more about the bullshit, more about the alcohol and shit, and then they did the other one about his life

and what a good dude he is and all that shit, right? So I hear you, I get it, and I'm a little too close to judge it, because I was in it, so I'm just happy I was in it. And fucking people like I should have been, there's people that should have been in it. Big J should have been in it. Well, well should have had a bigger part.

Will, I mean, listen, will, he live a will for eight years. He fucking damn well should have had a part. Will, will, so Vince. Okay. I cried at the end because I thought I'd be in it more. Yeah, but Rich, you, you, please. I got I'd be in it more. Yeah, but Richard you. You're you. Please, I got stories and the impatriate, you know, you heard some of them.

I saw his pack. I've seen them completely. You saw the trees. I have a picture and home up in at home. Is it next to your colon? Well, that's the why? Why would you keep that from Brazil? The details.

Why? I have a picture of an old, picture of Patrice. Patrice given a dildo lesson, D'Norton. Didn't you really? Yeah, D'Norton put it in his mouth. D'Norton really likes Tranny's, man. Who doesn't? Can I see?

Can I see, can I just, just text you? I don't think you see trainees anymore. I think you have to call them trans, yeah. Transgender, yes. Transgender.

What? What? Vosnos, because he made the, he made the mistake once. Oh my God, this guy's like, what'd you call him?

Trainees? Transies. Transies. Trainies. My accident. But with a transsexual in the room, he went, ah, you look, I don't care what these transies do. No, I know what I was saying. How good-looking like his armor was in that movie

with him and Wesley Snipes, where they were in the movie. Yeah, too long for him. Do you know why, yeah. And I go, you know, that movie. And I made a mistake in what? About the transies. I wasn't being vicious. I just go to the movie. Listen, I've, you know, movie and I made him a about the transes. I wasn't being vicious. I just go to movie. Listen, I've, you know,

Matt TV man. I've done drag. I'm a good looking woman dude. Well, I'm a good looking woman. I mean, listen to me, much, can you please pull up him and drag because I don't look like a little cocky for you to fuck it. No, I'm a good looking woman dog. Seriously, like, what I'm gonna, I would like to, I would like to see that okay Cuz I can't just go by that then or now are you saying either way? Now either way, dude now you wouldn't be a good looking one. Yeah, you crazy dude. You'd be a you'd be a fetish You just take her you be your You're not

You know you know you're mama. No, who is that? She's funny. You'd love you I'm an eager. She's your trend. No, she's a fucking chick. So she's a very funny comedian. Oh, very funny You don't know anybody on the on the east coast. Do you know? I know I know the names. I'm supposed to know Oh shit the funny motherfucker Carry weight you have what you call a fat joke I'm a fucking carry weight. You call it a fat joke? Not at all, baby. I'm kidding.

There's no way, and I'm sorry to say this, that you would make a good looking woman now. Why? I'm looking at your face. That's why I'm a handsome man. Well, you're a handsome man, but as a woman, I would fucking... I'm telling you, I'm telling you.

I wouldn't pay more than 15 bucks for a blowjob. I look like Queen Latifah Niggas. Dude, she's a Queen Mary to vote. The Queen Latifah. The Queen Latifah's the fucking, what is she now, she's the equalizer. Equalizer, come on. Destroyed it. We talked about that, didn't we?

Did we? Yeah, I'm not sure, but I shit it all over that. It makes makes me mad these big pancake man me titties putting niggas and headlock God here man, it's ridiculous. He's a based on Schwarzenegger who First of all be careful the way you say that last name second There's a second of all no, it's based first of all it's based on the show TV TV show It was a white English guy who was very unbelievable to just that big head It you know, he's never done a setup or a push up and he's fucking take them But then they went to Denzel you don't you didn't see the two with that show Denzel Denzel yeah fucking I mean Denzel

He's my he's got to be hands down Might one of my favorite act top three favorite actors. I know which one are you now wait This was two characters we did who was supposed to be fat and hideous okay Well, I pulled it off look I was supposed to all right, but I'm talking about when they really made were supposed to be fat and hideous. Okay. Well, I told it off. Look, I was supposed to, but I'm talking about when they really made me up to be a chick. What is that? I don't know.

That suit with the, with the, with the prosthetic jowls and that's, like that's purpose. Do you know, you're the chick, you're the chick, like when, when the lights come on in the club, and you're looking around, and there's that chick at the end of the bar, she's like, hey. Nah, son, that's how it is. You're the last, you're the Hail Mary chick.

I'm with you. Nah, son, no. He typed in best-looking chick of very small. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I'm not, dude, am I Andy, am I, I mean, come on. There's no, first of all, there's no way you're pulling off hot chick now. Dude, I'm trying to tell you. I'm trying to, I'm, I'm, anybody in here, if we were gonna address this women, I'm smoking, I'm number one.

I'm kidding me. Are you kidding me? Are you fucking all the people? You're the cock block. First of all, Andy's gonna look like a chick. There was on an island stranded for fucking seven years. Listen, listen, if I shade the beard, do the rouge, the lipstick, the blush, the eyelashes,

dude, I'm telling you. I'm starting to wonder why you care so much. First of all, I'm feelin' cause anything I do, I'm putting pride in. I just filled up the way you did that. Listen, I'm number one. You really just cause you have titties now? No, cause it's white.

He's white. No, it's not because I'm white, cause I'm exotic. That's white. Look at me. Look at my lips. Look at my lips. Give me some of that. You think your lips are better than my lips.

Oh, my lips are fucking 90 times better than your lips. What? Let me see your upper lip. It's covered, but it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it saying I'm Jew your white with a Jewish religion. I am your Jewish. I'm Jewish. I'm Mexican and Jewish. Mexican and Jewish. But do you consider yourself Jewish? Yeah, two desert people. Yeah. It's all white. It's all under the umbrella.

White. You think it could be a hotter girl than me. You're out of your mind. Dude, I would you fucking look at this figure if we all went and drag If we all went and drag I'm a hundred percent sure I would get more guys than anybody at this fucking table and I would say he would be second If he trimmed all that shit off and put a wig on it took us would eat me alive Now you're a fetish now you're just a fetish though a wig on the live oh now you're a fetish now you're just a fetish though Harry Harry's your fucking nuts do re re you got to read that letter you got from the from the oh I deleted that oh

Yeah, I deleted that just you not don't keep them shit's there there was someone who who said it was a white It was a white guy who said him and you know who you and he wanted It was a white guy who said him and he wanted He's my cock and giving me rim jobs Yeah, I said that but you know, I meant it when I said it which part that all that that I wrote to you What if that was me and this is I was all a poet to you in here. You just locked the door, we shut the door. Oh my God. We inbox just, he just, he has,

he wants to suck another Jew off. I said, he says that line in Brockstown. Now you can't leave. I don't wanna blow you since Matt TV. Oh my God. Oh. Who the fuck is this? What is going on?

Who's calling? I can't believe that you think you would be hotter than me. I'm almost, I mean, where's the fucking chat? The face might be a little more worn down, but dude, tell you something, when makeup and what do you kid in me? I gotta be honest, I saw a homeless chick on the street today walking over here

that just looked exactly like boss. Yes. Thank you. What? Thank you. There's no way. I would say it's between me and you, if you shaved down,

if you didn't shave down, you're off the chart You there's nothing about you. That is feminine. Let me let me test your voice would fucking scare my dick Let me take that out. Let me sit there Robert me. I guarantee you would clean up around here Okay, why guys would love me and They love you too, but I'm telling you white dudes have a weird sexual feel for certain shit and a big thick raccoon and drag me they would love me. I don't know what white guys you're talking about. The ones that

always look like you know what he's right though listen complete opposite because black guys have a sexual thing for big white girls White guys that's a miss That I know you we've seen it, but that that's a myth most brothers like girls it You know if you see in the house of the men it walks down the street every day. We see it What does that that's in places like black guys would be white girls? Let me tell you some more now He's right about white listen white guys guys. Yeah, like middle-aged white guys are In this and fucked up shit. Yeah, man middle-aged white guys like here's the problem the kind with families and good jobs

Because that yeah because it's like not to bring up a tree's again He used to talk about how about how women lawyers and women musicians and doctors were freaks when they hit like 30. When they finally were making their money, had their profession because they suppressed it, their whole lives when they were going to school, going to fucking piano class or violin. And then now they're in the orchestra and they're making big bucks. And now they want to be thrown around a room and tied up and shit on and pissed on

and data fucking 400 pound black dude. To, you know, I mean, it's true. And old guy, old white guys are the same thing as they suppressed that shit. My fuckers, man. They suppressed that shit and I've talked to hookers and it's old white guys. And I talked to my friend who's actually a trans point star and most of her clientele of those and Asian dudes

and Arabs, Arabs. I'm telling you dude, a landslide, I would landslide you. Oh well, I didn't I mean Arabs in the white guys Fuckin love me they want nothing to do it you nothing to do it you dude. I'm telling you dude Nothing to do it you man your hands look at you fucking big hands. They love that rough dude I got that little look at that little pinky. They love that little pinky in it, but You know what I mean? I'm telling this conversation is falling off the rails. It's fine off the rails Did you find him and another mushed find him and another a sexy thing? Let's see that. Let's please see

I was playing I was playing Missy Elliott. Oh shit. Missy Elliott ain't pretty playing Missy Elliott. Oh shit, Missy Elliott ain't pretty. Exactly, that's what I'm saying. I rather fuck him now than Missy Elliott. I want to see you better. Look at Missy Elliott. Look at Missy Elliott. Holy shit.

Are you kidding me? I'm telling all the characters. They're pulling up characters that I play. I'm talking about when I play it straight, this is not a character, just a woman in a scene. I'm telling you man. Just, Boston, I heard the only ones who don't want to win this competition. You two are determined. Boston wants you, man? Just, yeah. Boston, I really only want you

don't want to win this competition. You two are determined. Boston wants to win. He's very competitive. Are you harder than Jamie Foxx when he was a woman? Oh, hell, yes. Hell, yes. You're crazy.

Yes. You're very crazy. You're crazy. Come on, man. Well, Jamie had that goofy mouth. Yeah. And those eyes. Yeah, yeah, goofy cock. Is he cocking? no, no, no, he does that. Yeah, he did that. Yeah, that was fucking crazy. Hey, off the subject of you being a hot woman, yes, which you're absolutely not.

And we're going to prove that by the end of the show, we're going to bring up every photo of you in a dress. And we're going to prove that you are fucking delusional. I'm going to get you some more cold water. I got you. Let me ask you a question. We were on my show a couple weeks ago and you did your impression, which is fucking nuts, by the way.

Your impressions. It's, I mean, it's crazy because it's like, we can talk and just do a regular. And then all of a sudden, you come out, you do Paul Mooney and Suprano, Tony Suprrano and it's nuts, but then a fucking week later after you do that Paul Mooney He's passed away. Let me let me tell you something. I'm in heaven and white people hold your Markis since God is a nigga God is like God is Sam Cook. I know you don't want to believe it and all of you white people You should run from me. I'm coming after you in your dreams, I'm haunted you, I'm Freddie

Nega. You cannot get away from me. I know you scared of me. How about like buttocks? I see you. I'm coming for you Nega's. Trust me. Dude, it's fucked up. It's so fucked up, but I didn't even know he was sick. I know that.'t know that. I didn't know that. Matter of fact, we did a gig in Pleasanton, California, and the the the manager of the club, Tommy T, was hanging out with Paul that way. And he said, yeah, Paul's in the green room, and he had had Paul come down stairs,

and I had said, hey, by y'allall a legend the great Paul mooney was in the back And then he walked up to the stage to grab the mic and get on and that's when I knew he was fucked up Because Paul would normally wouldn't do that Paul wouldn't be trying to jump up on stage And you know chum with him all fucking take your time He would just probably wave and may night even come down at all But the way he walked to the stage and he was asking for the mic, I was like, damn. And I didn't give it to him. I gracefully gave him his love and kept it moving

because I knew that if I gave him the mic, he might not stop or he might go off on a tangent. It didn't make sense. Okay, listen, let me ask you a question. Yeah. So Paul Mooney, how long ago was this? Almost two years ago. Okay, so it wasn't like a couple weeks ago Was dying and you said, now I'm good. Listen, give it up for that motherfucker anyways. We're in a fucking crazy, right?

Dude, what the fuck that's's crazy. So he was physically... You could tell. You could tell. I saw him on a plane like five years ago and you could tell he was... It was in his first class? Yeah, of course. Where were you? Uh-huh. I was in cargo.

I wrote the bit for Paul. It was one of the most famous bits on Chappelle. I saw Paul walking down the street one day and I used to open for him account and I go, Paul, I can't do this bit. You do it and I go, and I search for him, I go, Wayne Brady's so white, he makes Brian Gumball look like Malcolm X.

So I gave him the bit. Oh wow. And he thanked me, We did a roast together I gave him that bit which they turned into the bin on the Chappelle show where rain Wayne Brady Yeah, I remember that fucking Paul. Let me tell you something me and Bonnie a Couple times, but I used to work with him a lot of cons, but Bonnie we sat and watched him Paul this white girl started crying The audience crying and Paul's like, whoa, whoa, calm down. This is just comedy. She was offended. Yeah. She just was young,

you know, woke white girl. And he's like, listen, calm down. I'm just, you know, and he he calmed her down and then went right back into what he does. And you would watch him go, this motherfucker is one of the most amazing comics. I mean, this is 15 years ago, 10 or 15, probably 15 years ago, and you could watch him for two fucking hours, and he would hold your attention that long. To me, that's how good he was. Yeah, you know, we talked about it, and, on our podcast, and my thing was this, I just kind of felt like whenever black comics, and we all do it because, you know, listen, we live in the skin, this is our uniform.

So we gotta do racial material, we can't not do it. So, but I always felt like when I would do it, at a griffin, Chappelle, you name him, rock, it always felt like if we were slave icons, we would be Sagerta Truth, Harriet Tub and Frederick Douglass. We were easy on the white palette. Whereas Paul was not Turner Like he's stabbing the white babies and the white women He's a genius. Yes. He's great. Yes, but I always just felt like a lot of white people for those that walked out that couldn't take him Why? A lot of white people for those that walked out that couldn't take him, why?

You know, we all tell him the truth. Comedy is all based in truth. We're all telling our racial truth. But he's shit. It sometimes didn't feel like comedy, even though I know it was. You know, and like, I would read some of the comments on his YouTube and white people disguise racist, it's fucking racist. So, I always wondered why he didn't go down with white people disguised racist, it's fucking racist. So always wondered why he didn't go down with white people as easy as most black comics. There were white people who take it. I understand. Who white people could take it, but there were a lot of white people who couldn't. Because he never apologized for it. That's why he just went in and it wasn't. I thought it was because he went in and he didn't a lot of comics

We'll say not all white people or this part of white people. He just he just let everybody have it and it wasn't there Was no policy I watched them a few times a Caroline's in in laugh factory when he would come in and I enjoyed it, but he I don't know because I am a comic it never Races stuff makes me laugh. So if I hear someone being racist, I'm gonna what the fuck is that? Even if it's real shit. Yeah, even if it's,

when he was saying something more, I remember Voss, Voss has some crazy jokes about the daughter one that's just hilarious. When I hear that stuff, if it's fun, I laugh. So I don't really, I don Voss, you know, Voss has some crazy jokes about the daughter one that's just hilarious. When I hear that stuff, if it's fun, I laugh. So I don't really, I don't know, I don't know if I can answer that question. Why it's gotta be... Well, you're a comic, so you see it through that lens.

Right. I'm talking about average Joe, white guy, white woman, wing guy, none to do a comic. But that's the same person that's gonna get offended if I do a joke about a chick. That's the same person that's gonna get offended if I do a off joke about a check that's the same person to get offended if I do something sexist maybe or or you know what I mean yeah no but here's the deal with Paul too Paul not only one after way people talking to the microphone Paul one after you were after you know he went after hypocrisy he went after Oprah he went after he went after black people He went after black people. He went but those jokes aren't making white people get up and walk out

The jokes about Oprah and the jokes about whoever else black. Yeah, they're not walking out because of that right They're walking out when they hear him say white people are niggas in the white people You know what I'm saying like when they hear that you know you white people you white I love that as much as I love magic You know what I mean? It's the same, it's on the same thing. I don't care. The other day I was doing that, he said, he said, dude, you kind of bled in the Bobby Slating

on top of that too. I'm gonna do the people in poverty. Let me do something. I've been doing a whole local time. You know, and I tell him, I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, tell my wife all the time. So, you know, sometimes you go from all the niggas

to the niggas and the go, so, you know, you gotta try to separate. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, So, Paul's in the jail with the fucking, he's shanking this mother. And that's the difference to me. And I don't think a lot of white people could take the shanking, carve it up, give it to us, the truth. No, because instinctually, if somebody says something about you, you wanna go, hey, we're a fucking, you, hey, shut the fuck up, I'm fucking, I'm not that.

Or that's a bullshit. It's just, it's in you to defend yourself. You know what I mean? So, because especially if you know who you are. Right. So, but if you know who you are, it shouldn't have offended you. It was the people who,

but it's not, but it's, it's, most people don't know that when that comes up, you go, oh, fucking whatever. You know what I mean? Most people can't do that when that comes up, you go, oh, fuck it, whatever. You know what I mean? Most people can't do that. Most people just react. Most people, it just comes out. So you think it's because the comic side

doesn't, you don't feel it. It's also too, of course, because of the callus of, a sense of humor is something you build and something that is kind of taught to you. My kid has a sense of humor. I know other kids that don't. I know friends of mine's kids who stink. I mean, you'll say something funny, they'll be like,

why? And you're like, oh, you fucking suck. You know what I mean? You stink, my hand. No, your daughter's funny. I mean, she's got, I mean, she's got, I don't want to be near her. She'll fucking, it's her. Imagine him and then Bonnie McFarlane, that comedy, which is just fucking

tax yourself a steam and just slices you up. My daughter went to Tim Done. We're at the stand. It's like a comic that doesn't bomb. My, my, my daughter will leave into stand and she goes to Tim Done. We're at the stand. It's like a comic that doesn't bomb my man My my daughter will leave in the stand and she goes to Tim Done The night fatso so she got in the car my wife is like you can't say that their commas They're my friends you gotta be so the next you know, you got to be nicer to them So the next night she was leaving she goes it was good to see you mr. Done fatso

that's not funny to me I mean you know like that's just right right I mean Tim's of fat dude I'm a chubby dude I'm a fat that that just hurts like but I'm getting hurt by a fucking 13 year old she goes to Dorosa she covered what was the movie with Sandra Bullock? Bullock Bullock. Sandra Bullock. Sandra Bullock. Sandra Bullock where she covered her eyes. Oh, the bird cage. The bird cage. Every time she's starrosa, she covers her eyes. The last trends in votes. Comodity of 10 to 29 with 99.

Daishman, much for Andal. Give it see, this is the problem. That's why I'm so glad I married a square. My rule was never touch anything. No, don't do any other headshot. I don't want to be around you. Because I don't want that in my life. I want a square and I got a nice fucking Pollock

American Indian from Boston. Yep, okay, but like, my girls is an attorney. Right, square. Yeah, but I'm trying to my girls is an attorney. Right, square. Yeah, but I'm trying to do this today. I'm coming over here. She thinks this is just like we just do this and there's nothing to it. And she puts me in this spin because we just bought a condo

that we're trying to remodel. Right. So she panicked about the, and I had to sit there for an hour and a half and I tried to get over I was so fucking pissed on the way over yeah because you haven't you haven't fucking you haven't you haven't you're You're the goon hand yet you got a goon hander We're gonna grab a buy the fucking Alba go come on talk to you And she goes out and then take another room. Go listen you I can do what you do I can go to school and do what you do

But you can't do what I can't you can't you can't you't, I wanna see you going to a room with Aries, Robert Kelly, and Rich Foss, and looking like you look and fucking survive. Do you know what I mean? I mean, you, I mean, what we, now listen, I've had that talk and it's not, it doesn't end well, believe me. Shit don't end well with a square, because they're like like go fuck your mother

Especially if she makes a lot of money you know, you know, it depends you make more money or she make more money Are you kidding she makes okay? Well, I would keep it down a little bit. Why you're career pops off why she medals Give it a man down the back You're out of jail my life and listen and listen, I rather, my first wife, what, dude, I'm sorry, go ahead. My first wife had a normal job, but my wife is like a fucking, she gets everything.

Yeah, and I couldn't be married, it would be taxing because your wife is number one funny. She's very talented and offers every fucking day out of it. Yeah, dude, it's like, I come home and the business is gone. My wife don't get, we're not even on Facebook together. We don't even, we don't do shit together. We're a shit, you know what I mean? And she, she knows now how hard you understand what we do.

Think about that, telling somebody who has to wake up early, read shit, litigate, all the shit your chick has to do, right? And then where where you going? I'm gonna go hang out at the comedy seller and talk about Paul Mooney and fucking, which one of us is hotter for an hour. Right.

We dude, it sounds easy, but it's not. They don't let you have that. But at least you guys, you got women that work. I take care of two bitches and still don't get the respect or I'm taking for granted. So that's, that's what's even worse. You said too, right? Did I? Yes. Who baby? You know, I got to one, the Puerto Rican one, I'm paying child support in Alamoney too. And then my, the first one, the black chick that I've been fucking taking care of for like 20 years, 20 plus years. So, you know, I'm dealing with that shit and still don't get the respect that I'm not

the average fucking Joe, you know what I mean? I mean, I'm not super star level, but I can walk down the street and people go, hey, you know what I mean? And the more money you make though, the more money they take. No, I want to. So if you get, if you say you pop, say a show comes out of your podcast goes nut and you're out and you all of a sudden become next level shit and get that money, they get that money too. Yeah, I mean, you know, listen, I always

said between the government and the women, it's like the mob and the, you know, what the fuck the government to one pocket, the mafia's and the other. Take that. the fuck, the government's in one pocket, the mafia's in the other. Take that. Why? I don't know. You know what? I was thinking of joke. All right.

It was actually a flat tire. We call that a flat tire. Oh, okay. Well, you have a pause moment. Yeah, but I don't know. You like, it's this and that and you had me and then you went, no, no, because I was trying to get the other, other, uh, I just didn't like it. I was with you. You took me out of it. I'm sorry. I'm just a shitting allergy. It was a shit analogy. Thank you very much

I got the mafia one pocket the government me Good, yeah, I'm glad you have the Jewish Mexican to help you punch it up I should have been that one a bit, did my Tony's a Prano right there. That's your mouth. And you know, it depends where you're at. My ex-wife, we didn't, when we got divorced, we had nothing. So we did our own contract.

You know, when you get divorced, lawyers make money by making you fight. You know, if you, if you don't have nothing, then you don't have to wait. If you have something, then you have to worry. Yeah, but in California, man, California's ruthless is and that's where you are right. Yeah, California's ruthless and You know, but where's not ruthless here in Jersey? Yeah here in Jersey I don't think it's as bad as California's like fuck you. They don't have a common law in Jersey

Oh, is that right? Listen, what's, what, just story with Carl the Bo, who told it on TV, and got me Russian piece, he was fucking amazing on stage, great golfer. He found out that his daughter was not his daughter. And still had to pay. And still had to pay. And still had to pay.

And he got paid, you know, he had to pay? Oh, he did not. He had to pay. And his ex-wife. I've heard those stories. And his ex-wife said he doesn't have to pay anymore. But once you're in the system, you can't get out. You see, what?

Because he's a responsible. Yeah. You take responsibility. Once you take the responsibility for the child, it's your responsibility. That guy looks like me and you if we fucking had a bill he was Colable that guy right there. She him work. Yeah, he's Unbelievable amazing that's I don't get that though. How the fuck does that happen? The Dora Lee singer and neo same thing. He was with his girl

She lied and said it was his baby. He later found out it wasn't, but he was raising it like it was his. God, the court system said, yo, you got to pay. If you're married to the person, if you're married to her, and it's not yours, you were married tough. You got to pay. So how do you, how do they just take it out of your money? Or is it like, do they come up with a number and you agree on it? Yeah. They don't know if you come up with a number based on how much you make.

Yeah. Then you cry a little bit, right? Yeah, you cry a little bit. And then that's a half of one that cried thing. I'll take this. I liked it. Oh, yeah. For you, it was good.

Oh, okay. I am a middle. I am just the middle. Yeah, then you're doing good, man. And yeah, I just give a money every month, Okay. So you have to give two people money. No, no, no, no, the Puerto Rican one is the one that gets the Alimony in the child's port. I just been, you know, taking care of the other one since, because, you know, that's my heart,

man. Okay. So why didn't now that your girl? Yeah. So why do you marry? We gonna get there at some point, but I've been half-wrapped twice. You gotta slow up. We were waiting, asking twice. Yeah, go get that. Oh yeah, the Puerto Rican one.

Hang on one second, I was gonna Andy. I'm sorry. This is my show, okay? I'm not excited. I'm kidding. I had something to say, I was just excited. I love Andy, I really get it. I'm so excited, you didn't have to bring three people to

That is the bad that is there a prize when you get the best line of the day so far. I know When I know that was fantastic He had a Puerto Rican one Married God divorce remarried you married the Puerto Rican girl. Yeah, and then got divorced and then married her again This is a thing that people do that I've heard so many fucking times. Yes, I don't know the fucking How do you get to where you'd read if it didn't work out once? Why would you think that it would happen again? It would work out again

Because I really wanted to believe it would how how how good is it? How is it yeah? Sport arachim, man. Okay, so She was a Irish Polo you probably just one time. Yeah, yeah sure But but between the the Poppy and the and the and the squirting Fantastic it's like It's like crack. If I smoke crack again, it would be the first night it would be good, but then it would be downhill.

It doesn't look like he smokes, it looks like he sells it. Both. He uses and sells his own product. Please. How about Palestinian snatches that diamond star? David, off your neck and runs. Yeah All right relax don't get off fucking political. I was a joke. All right, so I have the band-in there. Okay, it was a little fucking edgy I get it. You felt the tension between these two. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, shit. They went really to you

We're gonna take away a career that doesn't exist Anyways fucking on a patreon for God's sake, I'm 50. Um, yeah. What are you doing? What are you fucking staring at me for? Because you're the host. Did I make you mad? Did that make you mad? Not at all. I don't know why would I get mad. I don't know. You look like you mad. You've posture. Your head's up. I don't like it. You're sitting up like a fucking man. I can sit up. Here's, I'm sit up here's

Is this the main human being I'm like what you're gonna keep going I mean you Anyways the it fucking it is crazy to me that you went back in for another why would you get married though? So it's just two people This is the two people. Did you have a kid the first time? Yes. So you had a kid. The black girl, my oldest daughter, she just turned 22. So the girl, you're your heart.

Yes. So you have a 22 year old daughter. Yeah. And the other one, I got two kids. You got two kids. So you had one the first time. Yeah. Go out divorced and then had another and got, cook back up. Uh huh. Because things started going good. You thought two kids, so you had one the first time, got divorced, and then had another, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got, and got get let's do it again, baby Well, you know what we can pull it out. We can cut it this time. We're good and then did it right and then it fucked up again

And it's because of you the second time fuck up was on you both times was on me shit I can't listen man. I'm a I'm a prolific cheater, you know I like how you made that a fucking like a really high-paying jaw You made that something that young man should attain You don't get in trouble for cheating though you get in trouble for getting caught your shitty Keeping it secret. Well you can't get in trouble for cheating if you don't get caught Put it around your mouth. You can't fucking this one is giving me that but you can't get in around your mouth. This one is giving me that. But you can't get in jewelry. What the fuck? What a bad lawyer. Your wife's a lawyer.

You know, you can't get in trouble for stealing unless you get caught. But you don't get divorced because you were cheated. He's absolutely right. I wrote a divorce because you get caught. I wrote a book on cheating. Called cheat. A man's guy at the infidelity. I'm gonna get your copy of it. Please. It's you wrote that yeah Well, of course I wrote that with me Billy Burr and Joe Deroza. Yeah Um, they sold three of you. Oh I'm sorry did I did that fuck you up that I said I wrote it. I told you wrong I was gonna give you the credit. I would love I love the movie you fucking slime ball. I know what you did

Fucking take it I wanted you so I love my podcast most podcasts just like yeah, no, that's cool really and we're just fucking attacking each other It's one of the last podcasts that people you have to mean what you say I'm trying so hard not to comment on Rich's nigger gold. Stop on it vest and then gold. That's not even quality gold. Listen, I'm not going to say anything about your bracelet that you made in camp. But I guess this was given to me. Thank you very much. If it was given to you by a kid your kid, I'm sorry. But if it wasn't by your kid you know what I'm saying

I got it because anything my kids give me a night you know you know he looks like a pimping Reno not even Vegas and when it's hookers all look like you ten years ten years younger he looks like Adam Sanwin, uncut gems. But my face, he's absolutely right, is that, it was like cops. I remember a cop sent to me when I first, like it was like the third time I got arrested. He was like Bobby, if, I don't care what you do, just don't get caught, because if I catch you,

I gotta arrest you, you can do whatever the fuck you want, just do it smarter. Right right what club were you working? Can you give me that Hope put it your mouth and choke on it You know what I'm saying like in cheating dude you can't you can't get fucking caught yeah You cheating right now on me on my podcast no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, first? Uh, just was reckless. Tell me what, can you tell me how? You know, but you know, like most women, she likes to go through the phone.

So she's gonna be my phone. You left your phone around? I mean, I mean, you nuts. You gotta understand, this bitch's scar face and a skirt. If I hit it, it's why you hide in your phone. Right. But then if I don't hide it, what was on your phone that she could get?

A tech of the- So you didn't, you didn't delete your texts. I'm lazy, man. Oh my that's not even lazy It's a swipe and a push. It's not like you had to go in and fucking like, you know type something But sometimes when I read those texts they get memes. Yeah. See that's the problem with you That's the problem with you, man. You want to keep shit like you're out. You know what I call you? In the book, we call you a serial killer, Cheetah. You like to keep shit. You like artifacts.

You like a lock of hair. You like an airing. You want to keep that, that titty pic. You want to keep dick for a week? Yeah. Yeah. What happened? This, I know a comic that got, he came home and he had hikis on his neck and his wife

He's like, yeah, man I got a fight after the show with this dude from the audience saying dude. It got caught with rubbers Oh, yeah, it's a bit. I do I pick up a girl's pocketbook and I pretend I'm pulling a rubber out You know he had fucking a line for you can't keep evidence as soon as that text come in look at man snapchat was invented for cheaters Yeah, you know, I'm saying and you you want to keep that I want to I want to put your chat Cock up my butt before you fail at it. Yeah, the better you get so I'm almost perfect now. Oh shit I'm glad I hope they're not listening Oh shit, I'm glad I hope that I listen

I could never she know if I got because then my wife would start banging fucking open micers or whatever And she's brutal You know if your wife Fuckin started banging the calm like Mark Norman That would make me so happy. That's where fucking foreign team said he goes look at the worst case scenario That you have to come pick up your kid on a fucking Saturday and Mark Norman walks out with your kid. Hey, that's hanging out with the guys. Hey, you wife's pussy's awesome. I'm just kidding. It's a joke. I'm kidding. This is Mark Norman. Mark Norman. Yeah. Okay. You know Mark Norman. Do you got to get

in it? I thought you guys were doing Norma Donald. It's get it. You guys were doing normal Donald. Oh very similar No, you see younger version. I would say right hey Yeah, um dude number two. How'd you get caught the second time? Pretty much the same way You got you got caught you didn't learn from your first fucking mistake. How are you a premier? But listen, but listen she also, she's an investigator, man. Like she'll, she'll fucking look up shit, do shit. I don't know how she does it.

All women, listen to me, my wife's an investigator now. I don't, my wife doesn't have to worry about me cheating on her and I don't think she cares. You know, I mean, listen, first of all, my dick is just done. It's done. My dick is, it's over. It's just, you know what I mean? I am the work.

I was telling him the other day. If I was to fuck around with somebody, I'd have to like hang up side down for somebody to get to my dick. It's just bad. So I'm done. I'm tapped out. I'm out. I'm with her for the rest. And she's done too. fuck her. She's done. You know, one thing. How long have you been together? We've been together for 20 some years. We've been married for 13. Do you have sex? We don't, I mean, it's like,

and I mean, no, but she's no, but not that much. We don't take a pill and then go fuck it, you know. Dude, if we have sex, I have to get it going. You know what I mean? And then I have to think of some foul shit. I gotta literally, I have to close my eyes like this, like I'm under water.

I can't even just regular close my eyes. I have to go like I am under water and think of some fucked up shit. I mean, I have to do your billy's career list. No, because my wife can't, you can't just kid to say Billy you have to say the whole name so the other night my wife and I Arguing she goes I'm not you don't give me foot massages. You get me look at her feet And you know, we just got a crooked toe and like she goes you just want to go downstairs and fuck I go well No, I'll eat your pussy, you know, I'm gonna push each so she comes

She goes you know, but when they get when girls get older they don't give a fuck anymore They lose the fucking urge Now I know that you know obviously my first instinct is to go well, you know Well, I be the comic so what are you serious about you and your wife? You don't fuck you know, no we fuck, but it's not, it's definitely not, because I have a seven year old, eight actually today is his birthday. And, you know, we have like a three bedroom ranch.

We don't live in like a, we don't have like a section we can go fuck. You know, he's down the hall. You know, my biggest fear is that I'm gonna be fucking balls deep into his mom. He's gonna fall out of his bunk bed. You know what I mean? I think we're gonna, we'll probably,

and plus the last year, he was home every fucking day. Right. So by 9.30, he's going to bed. It's like, she's wiped. She goes in with them, you know, and then I'm tired. It's just like, she's wiped, she goes in with them, and then I'm tired. It's just like, oh, and there was like one day

where he was away and we wound up banging. Like he went over Lewis's house, gomen's his house for the weekend. And that night, you know, it's like, look, we have to shower. You know what I mean? We got a clean shit, because we have a shower, like,

I even, I smell like fucking donuts. I mean, you know what I mean? I've had my wife and I have our own bedrooms. Yeah, dude, this mother's listening to me not not only listen to me. He has a bedroom, okay? He has a what's the full mattress? Little mattress, the little mattress. Listen to me. All big mattress. Okay, we know we're looking at your torso and your hands hands listen, but he decorated it. He has posters and shit up So he has a room like a like a kid room and he has a lock on it He locks it with a 2x4. No, I don't lie once in a while. I'll put the 2x4 so I know we can get in

Listen because before the pandemic I Was coming in at 2 a.m. after gigs, waking up, and I snore. So my wife will wake me up in a millenite at our old place, snoring, and I walk down to the couch. But now, it's peaceful sleep for both of us. What's the big deal? We have a big fucking place so we can have our own bed.

Listen to me, I'm telling you right now, my wife, I tell her, because she sleeps in my kid once in a while, we're trying to wean them off of that, because he'll go to bed and she'll read with them. So that's their reading time. So she'll fall asleep, I usually wake her up, or she'll wake up, she'll come into the bed with me. Once in a while, she stays all night, I'm like cool, right? But I said, I had to tell her, I go, listen,

we're married, I sleep, we sleep together. Oh. And if I snore, I'll stay up until you go to sleep and then I'll go to bed, I got a certain pillow that makes me store less, I got a mouth guard, but I'm not not sleeping with my wife. I ain't dick van dyke in this shit. I ain't doing that shit because if I need to,

at least a little affection, I need to lose the snuggle. If you're not, if you're not sucking my dick down, it was, if you're not doing some weird shit to my penis, if I'm, you know, we're not doing that right now because we're at, okay, fine. But I still need to be touched. If you, you'll die without that touch, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, but I think my, I should just say, no say no you won't I think that we're heading back towards I think when you meet you fuck crazy And then there's a point where it dies off and that's the danger point for men because that's when you want to go out and You have what you had but if you can wait it out it comes back and you're you're freaky you can wait it out, it comes back and you're freaky. Is that any of this eye? Is that any part of the book? No, that should be though. No, that's fine. My girl's 20 years younger than me, so we're still fucking.

Everybody's 20 years younger than you. Yeah, really, seriously. No, really. So yeah, but you got a young girl, which is great, but does that bother you? Does it some nice be like, fuck? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, when we, like after we like I can I don't like fucking after we

And when I would yeah, but when you were in your 20s you could fuck after you did that's it when you're 20 you didn't eat Yeah, well, it just doesn't help you that you were the wizard and how repotter to get pussy Yeah, it's to get it but to make them come Wow, dude, I wouldn't even have responded to that. Well, I would have been I would have been fucking Al-Kazoo, Al-Kazam. You're a fucking fat ham shut up. Right back to food. Yeah, I just can't, you know, hats off to guys that can be with one woman,

uh, because when they get on your nerves and shit gets stale, it's like, I gotta keep one woman in the stable, man. Yes, and man, it's a decision. Yeah. And I understand when you're coming from, it's a decision. If you, like my, I wanted to be a dad. At some point, I was like, I'm gonna be a dad.

And when I made that decision, I'm like, I don't want my kids not gonna have my life where my dad wasn't around, and I had some other dude, was a piece of shit. And then finally my mom found a really nice guy, but it was too late, because I was already fucked in the head. So I couldn't build a relationship,

but that guy that would have been amazing. And then all of a sudden, I'm searching for a dad my whole life. I'm out there looking for father figures. And all of a sudden I have a for a dad my whole life. I'm out there looking for father figures and All of a sudden I have a kid. I didn't want that for my kid So I'm like I'm going to be a dad and if I'm gonna be a dad, I'm gonna be a husband and I'm gonna have to sacrifice My wants and my shit and I was like I've done a lot. I've done a lot of crazy sex shit I've pretty much done everything I like to do.

And it's just a thing in my brain that I was like, hey, you can shut it down. You know what I mean? And I have that conversation with my look, look, I need to do something because you're asking me to do nothing, right? I'm okay, but we're not doing anything. So we need to do something.

I'm gonna fucking, my instinct is to go into the woods and hunt, my instinct is to go, you know what I mean? And I'll do some weird shit. I'll go, you know what I mean? You know, I'll go, I'll pay for it. I'll go pay for what I want. Yeah, but I, yes. Yes.

Look at it. It's very underrated. Yeah, I know, but you would you pay in any way? So, you know what the thing you say though, if I if I fucked up my kids life of a pussy if I had to leave over that It would it would I'd be like God damn it. I have to at least try well here's the thing I mean I have to at least try my kid my first kids. I got divorced my first my kids I was a dad to my kids throughout their fucking life I was with them every fucking day right but yours marriage and workout yeah but me and my wife are soulmates man yeah it wouldn't but see that's it then what I think

I think that when that happens right when you find your soulmate yeah I'm I'm convinced it things fall in place the way he's supposed to fall in place. Yeah, I agree with that. So something is telling me, she's my soulmate, the one who I say is my heart. But, you know what I mean? It's touching go. Well, look man, I had to go to a therapy

for the ship for a long time. Okay, because I was cheating or being a piece of shit because I was looking for something, right? And I had to, I was like, oh shit, I have to, I have all that shit, I just gotta be okay with it. I was trying to get stuff from other people that, you know what I mean? When I was like, and I was like, oh my God,

I don't need to go there for that. I don't need, I don't need to, I have to just deal with my shit. And when I deal with my shit, I didn't find the desire to seek shit, that type of emotion, excitement, energy from some other person. You know, anyways, money, talking, you know,

take all that shit. I didn't need to do that anymore. And I was able to connect to my wife. Here's the thing, man. I look at my wife now and I can cry. How much I love her. I mean, I literally, I'll cry right now thinking about because I was never allowed myself to connect to a girl.

This podcast goes any longer, I'm gonna start crying. This is bad. You can't have a moment, you just can't. I gotta ask you this though, because you said you went into therapy, because you had to like yourself. I wanna make this longer for you. But you had to like yourself, right?

Dude, I didn't like, I hated me. That's what it is. I hated me. I didn't have any fucking figure. I had nobody. I was all alone and I just needed somebody there all the time. And I needed, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I because everybody left me, everybody fucked me, everybody threw me out. So how could I connect to this woman? She's gonna fuck me, she's gonna do some bad shit to me, and I'm gonna be alone again and fucked up, fuck that I ain't doing that shit. I'm gonna, yeah, I love you, that's good.

And then I put all that aside, I went and I was like, okay, I'm gonna connect to this person. And it was hard work, crazy shit. And then when I finally did, I was like, oh my God'm gonna connect to this person. And it was hard work, crazy shit. And then when I finally did, I was like, oh my God, I have emotions for this girl. Then I was like, I wanna have a kid with you. And now, look, same thing, I look at my kid, and I'm like, fucking, I wanna bite him.

To fucking that fucking, I wanna bite you. God, someone's gonna love you. I don't mean that love. Right, I have for my wife. You know what I mean? But it's not something that just happened. You ever see that show on Showtime, a couple of therapy?

Oh, I heard it. You ever watch that? No, what is that? You should check it out, man. I kind of love it. Really? I just love seeing people work their shit out or not work their shit out in a real room

in a real situation. And you know, yeah, seeing what my fuckers go through. It's tough. Look, it's tough, man. And I am perfect. Listen, I don't want to come off as fucking perfect. Believe me. And she ain't either.

Fuck her. She ain't either. But they look like they perfect. They do. All right, listen, we've been in an hour. We're going to the next. Right now, we're going to the patreon extra for patreon only members First I want to thank all the people on YouTube do me a favor. We're gonna get to you. Are you worry?

Okay, so before we quit this before we quit this one. We're doing a big thing for you All right, then and for you and for him I apologize. I apologize I I can't. He's like a, give us like a smelly food. You're like, what the fuck? The food is there. Jesus Christ.

Calm down. Even I want to thank all the Patreon members. And if you're watching on YouTube right now, hit the subscribe button. Just click it. Comment like we need to get people involved. You're going to help me get this thing up in the air. It's one of the longest running podcasts in the fucking world. And you cock suckers better, you better subscribe. Can I say that? Much, can I say that? Yeah, okay,

thanks. You get flagged for everything on YouTube now. You son of a bitch is better hit the button. Is that good? Anyways, I want to thank all the Patreon members. We're going to read the names coming up. We did that before. The names... Oh, we didn't do it because we already did it yesterday. We don't have to do the names. So fuck it because we did it yesterday.

But here we go and make sure you go to comicwearables.com, get yourself one of these shirts, YKWD, all kinds of swag, and make sure you, what else, mush? Oh, my dates, right here. Check this out. Napa knock in New York at the paper mill. This on the 12th, Saturday the 12th, I'm gonna be a Key West, Florida comedy Key West from the 17th, June 17th to the 19th.

It's gonna be fun. And then we got the 25th Funny Bone Weekend. I'm going to Vegas. Excuse me, comedy works. June 2nd. July 2nd, thank you. I'm stupid. Thursday, June 29th.

Vesonis comedy theater in Port Charlotte. I love this club. What a great, and God damn pork chop there is nuts. One of the reasons I'm going back. You ever play Vesonis? No. Dude, you gotta get down there. No, I'm Vesonis.

I see you got comedy connection. Comedy connection, one of my favorite clubs and I get down there. No, I'm a son. I see you got comedy connection. Comedy connection. One of my favorite clubs in the planet. Yeah, we're just wearing Philly to punch punchline Philly, but not punchline. We were at helium. Oh, helium. Yep. I'm at punchline because I can't wait four years to get a date. So I go there because they give me a date every year instead of every other year. Side, but helium is good club. But punchlines is shit. You should play punchlines. We did, we did.

Okay, cool. And of course we got sides, but is my favorite club. You do sides, but is? No, I do the improv and make it. Fucking dude, back out of the improv, go to sides, but it's the best club in Tampa. Okay. I mean dude, it's a kill box.

Dude, it's 300 people fucking doing like this, right? At you and low ceilings. You know, I mean, God bless the improvs, but that thing is like 15 feet high. Right, right. Yeah, it's three stories. And we're like, the fuck is that? What are you doing, opera?

Anyways, go there and let's go through the dates. I want to go through Rich Voss first, and then we're going to do you last. What do you got Voss? June 11th, Soul Joll in Wershap, Royars Town, whatever it is. Yeah, what is that? Soul Joll, don't want to do anything.

Your headlining? Are you out of your fucking mind? Yeah, it's a joke. Oh, my God, did you just take me serious? No, I'm, I'm, I'm not a white lady and fucking the Paul Mooney show. Oh, yeah, just your tell. I'm not right here.

Right on my thing. Speed it up, you old. Oh, look, the soul. Joe wears that Roya's town TV. Oh, yep. And then, oh, my God, he has not in his throat. No, this is my thing. Listen, I'm going to be, I'm 12 years older than you.

The 19th, I'll be at a me and Florentine are doing that. Is that a comeback? No, I'm just saying I'm old. Each runs with square mall the 19th me and Florentine and 2526 Uncle Vinnie's go to richforce.com for all my dates. I got you I got a present for you to before we get to you. We're not we're gonna end it in a second But I got a very good present for you. This right here is from Keith Edeck. All right, he is a blacksmith knife maker who's made me some of my, he made the comedy camp knives when we did comedy camp.

He's given me some beautiful knives. You know, I know a lot of these blacksmiths, knife makers, and this is one of them them and he made you this knife and he wanted me to give it to you. Here's this card. So please, here is a little something for you. Big or bag. There's a little something big.

For your bag, your bag. Big out bag. Oh, if you have any, it's a bug out bag. It's a bug out bag. Re-sharpening, just let me know. That's for you, buddy. Oh, let me see that. That's for you. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug.

It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug.

It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug.

It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug.

It's a bug. It's a bug. It's a bug. It'm opening it. All right, but I don't want you to slice your dumb little fingers off. Okay No, it'd be so fucking funny if I just stuck Bobby with this. Oh Jesus. Hey, we got Colin We're on the YKWD live right now at the studio. Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, he has a great show if you took Michael No, but you know this Colin Quinn everybody yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true. Okay, no, I just gave Rich Voss a knife. Oh nice. Yeah. Oh my God. Let me give me that knife. I gave you a knife. We can't talk about that knife, but I did give you a knife. That's correct. Yeah, we can't talk about that knife. Now we can tell Lone Lee to call you back. He said tell Lone Lee

to call you back. Fine. Now, who do you back. Fine. I'll do you guys later You really just heard his feelings I think how do you think what do you think it's beautiful? Oh, dude? Are you fucking stupid? I hear how you take it you have it in here. It looks like he because he it's like my I mean Max my son knows how to what this dude made this I just said that yeah, I can keep it in my cargo. No, not that. What are you doing? I've seen it for bigger than four fingers, but my... Your fingers are regulation.

A pen I've been using for a year. Yeah, exactly. The case is even fucking nice. It's beautiful, yeah. I gotta say pen. I'm gonna mention this guy on my pot. I'm gonna mention it right now, you dumb dumb. This comes from Angry Man, Keith Eddick edic go to Keith dick at Yahoo dot com

You got an order one of these knives. Yeah, it's fucking unbelievable. Great knives, and that's his Pattern he made that's his knife. He makes so we're see out of he's out of I think he's out of Tennessee now or something. Oh, this is fucking amazing. He's moving. Yeah great. There you go. Happy fucking everything. Oh All right. What do you got man? Oh, this is fucking amazing. Please move. Yeah, great. There you go. Happy fucking everything. All right. What do you got, man? Dates wise. I know you guys are together, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, you got a podcast. What's the podcast name? Spears and Steinberg, aka, to Jew and the Jerk. Jew and the Jerk. Well, look, we got to get your shirts. Yeah. I mean, we got some shirts, but not like that.

Jew and the Jerk? Not that. Not that. I'm going to get that, Mayfield. Please. Okay. I want to put that on comicwearables. com and I'll send you guys to check the Jew in the jerk Has to be a shirt. All right, I get that down to you. Please. All right, we're gonna get that down for you That's I'm gonna buy one of those shirts. Please. Did you in the jerk? All right? What do you got? We was at your date book? Yeah, that's how I am it infuriates me

You don't like what is on the front cover? Yeah, that's how I am it infuriates me. You don't like what what is on the front cover? Uh, it's uh, what are those things? Flamingos flamingos flamingos it infuriates me. We got that $5 store didn't it? Uh, I got it the $5 store. It's you actually write the dates in pencil and pencil so I can erase them because we were going through the pandemic and we were changing all the time so it was just nice so I can see what was happening. Yeah, you know, you can also delete you can delete but this way okay okay, wait, wait, wait,

no, now since we're going to get into this, I had because of the pandemic, and it's because, maybe some government funding, I was keeping track of what was getting canceled, and I kept it in the book that way. Right. And you know, you can do that on a yeah, your phone. Yeah, but this is much easier. Oh, so when you say, well, give me a date. Give me a date. Okay. How about the third of this of June? A Siri ad the third this June to my calendar, a set of reminder, I'm going to be at the comedy seller. You could do that. Yeah. Oh my god. I can't hang with old people. Okay, yeah, but now can'ts now you got a cancel it now you're gonna have to say this date was replaced by this date and because of

And I didn't work this week because of COVID. He's got a serious remind me never to do this podcast again It's not serious you seriously stupid person person. I mean, press a button. She came on. She is amazing. I can't. I can't. You got two old Jews in the room and we're both just ridiculous. I'm really I'm really committed. I mean literally I don't know why I was a man. The the I don't know what part of you gave up. We like I just let him do it. I let him do that. Okay. His counter is more holes in already langed stomach Jesus Christ Harry's I got this weekend a Thursday June 3rd to the 6th will be at Irvine Irvine can okay improv yeah, yeah, we're buying improv love it

18th same this month also 18th of the 20th will be at San Jose improv and then we're gonna be in the 25th of the 27th this month again Healy in Portland. Oh, he'll be in Portland. I heard that room was great. It's a part of it's cool But the location is weird. Why is that? It's just in the middle of nothing and Portland's fucked up man I mean a lot of my fucking play lay lay in a bare feet. Yeah, dude. I don't know It's a real poor at least a lot in the streets. feet. Yeah, dude. I don't know it's a real poor. Are they still out in the streets? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like a writer passage Say with Seattle. Are they still out in the streets like taking over the Seattle actually? I see how I was like looking knocked this shit off. Yeah, they wanted to get back to their coffees and shit

You know what I mean? But Portland's still fine. Portland's always been that way though. Yeah, keep it weird Yeah, I mean yeah, I know but once you start Yeah, once you have a shirt. It's like go go fuck yourself. Yeah. Now you keep your corporate. Once you make money off of it, Bobby said me, you know, for Tony's brown, listen, I want to hang on one second. Um, what are you doing? Give me the knife. I'm practicing. Give me the knife. Can I write Bonnie on this? Jesus Christ and watch it happens and then this is gonna be in some fucking documentary Listen, let me ask you question What are you

How do you feel working with him like you're doing shows with him correct? Yeah, my answer was me. No, you're answering his Tony's problem. Okay. Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go're answering his Tony's problem. Okay, go go go. How do you feel working with a Jewish Mexican guy like this as your as your opener? I feel like I'm working with Janish, you know, like my sister, my family, you know, I got, I almost considered my son like, you know, my daughter like, not a one agent. So it's really fucking good. It's like, it's like one of the guys like she'll a question for bully. Now does he? Does your fan base fight? Does that when they when he comes out do they is there a like as they start ghost?

Yeah, you know, sometimes I do the clubs. It's a lot of neck issue. And they can share man. They're like what a fucking dish. You know, but when we're around white people, they get it. They feel comfortable and safe Why are you raising your hand mush? Scratching my arm. Oh, Jesus Christ. I listen. We're gonna wrap this up. I could talk to you fucking assholes all day long

I'm so happy you not you It I'm so happy you came in dude. It's great to meet you. It's been you man. Um and Well, thanks for having me back so soon, brother. I just wanted to, I have fun the last time and any fucking time, anytime you, not you, you call, but any, no, Okay, Andy, you can come on as much as he comes on, but as long as you with him, it's, you know, I do. Any time you're in town, hit me up, but not all the time. Just, you know, once in a while, no, Andy, I'm kidding.

I love you. Um, you're my new favorite you, by the way. Just, you know, once in a while, no, Andy, I'm kidding, I love you. You're my new favorite, you by the way. Was that the only other one? Is the only one I know. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it wasn't hard. All right, will you stop? This is, this is why you're an asshole. We're in the middle of the fucking podcast and you're playing with things. This is why you're a fucking asshole. We're in the relationship, boys. I'm gonna break it down, but you're a shit friend,

and you're a fucking asshole. But I'm a good guest. No, you're not a good guest. He's a fucking two-year-old. I shouldn't have gave you the knife until the end. You sitting there playing with it. It's a fucking knife with the shit. I never had one.

I hope you fucking kill yourself with it I really don't have a good friend. Nothing said that yeah, other friend. Oh, you're not my friend anymore I mean you literally I have to tell you to stop on your phone and stop playing with your nice if I hit the number Dude, I hope you hit the number and leave this business forever So I want you to become a mega millionaire and get a house far far away. Far away. And I want you to I want you to fucking never call me again. Let's you tell you how to do a job. You made a Joe Prashegan impression. I do not. You know, because you're really close when you're going to say it's really close.

I even need a hints of soprano because he's got that. Just when you were going in. Well, I actually, one voiceover, I booked two voiceover things, but the first one was angry baby, and it was a for an insurance company. And it was, what the hell, what the hell, kind of people would hate. He's fucking people with the mobile. That's close to the back of my head and stuff.

That's close to baby. Yeah, but you really can't do peshy, because that's, you know, it's weird with those impressions, because people kind of own them. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, like, like, uh, Jeb Brewer does peshy.

So if you do a peshy, then it's like, dude, Brewer does peshy, and he does it. It depends on how good you do it. It's, yeah. So if you, it's almost like, you know what I mean? If you can't do it better than that person, you don't get it. Like Callie and no owns Matt. Yeah. You can't do a matting. Right. You can't. Right. You know what I mean? Like, uh, Jay Moore's good at impressions too. He is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. His his Harvey Kitell. Who the fuck does Harvey Kitell? Yeah, but

he does. The reason why I love, uh, Christopher Watkins awash everybody does. Yeah. But the reason why Jay does good impressions, because he does people we know, his Colin Quinn. Fucking stupid. Oh, ridiculous. So yeah, he's, yeah, that's a, that's a like, that's not, like if you can do impressions and don't take offense to this, his Barry Katz.

His Barry Katz is great. But you're on the spectrum, like your, this subtype of thing to be able to hear and then make your throat and voice become that, that's like a superhero part. I can say it's like being able to sing. Yeah, hitting the notes. There you go, yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah, can you sing? A little bit, but not now. Let me hear a little singing. Oh my god. Come on, we'll see y'all. Sing as a hot chick. a little singing. Oh my god. Come on. We'll see. All the singers are hot chick. Let's make love like they make love in the movie.

So you know, I'm just showered. How much you sing? Yeah, I can. It's not. Andy can you sing? Not at all. I'll sing Neil Young. All right. Listen, we're going to sing Neil Young as I'm going out. I take it back back I can sing. I can't keep going. Keep going. I can't keep going. Keep going.

Paulie I want you to get the truck and get this guy to fuck a bad shit. You drive him off the fucking big you ain't? You should fucking kill him to be too shit. I don't want him coming to the bottom bang no fucking more. He's got a second easy shit. My fucking easy but he's the pain in my fucking balls

Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Christopher Christopher Shell Get Bobby Bakalard Uncle Joel Tell us cock second we'll put him in a fucking house and ridden Jesus Christ Cuck's Shucka motherfucker

To the new hole in my son Thanks for listening you know what till we'll see you guys next week. Y no, what, dude? Bye! Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Friparás! Vuelas desde Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad.

Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com