Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Aruba

Episode Date: January 6, 2014

Yannis Pappas returns to join Robert along with James Smith, Ray Allen, Luis J Gomez, Kelly Fastuca and Chris Scopo. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Mao, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. ¡Plu-to-TV! ¡Ven a verlo sin pagar nunca! ¡Trespor uno!

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solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? ¡Trespor uno! ¡Trespor uno! ¡Ah, no, no, no! ¡Dominos! ¡Pizza! Separao? Tres por uno, tres por uno.

Ah, no, no, no. Dominos! Pizza! You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? On the RiotCast Network, riotcast.com. All right, before we get into the show, I just want to let you guys know about this great new offer we have for fans of the podcast.

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74 now I think you know you know you, you know if you're in New York, I yeah Ray pull that mic down in the middle just flop it down in between you guys It was good, right? That's amazing, but um We're in Brooklyn Avenue What is it Avenue J and I know it's more tickets Avenue J Which which neighborhood hey? Can I interrupt the most boring conversation? For one second to start this show

Who usually has this microphone what what? You get five questions. That's it. Joe's that's how you get Joe lists really. Yeah, he's got a tiny mouth But it packs a punch I bet you fucking Lewis comes in here and naws on them And here we go And here we go That was trying to keep it like a comic head I have a bunch of guys on it, it's just us sitting down Yeah, and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's intense No topics of direction

I love doing it This podcast has no rules Can I get a microphone? I'm sure I've already touched it We're graphics rubber killing. You know what, dude? You know what, dude? I know what, dude!

I cast unblighted castuck. Blighted castuck. Side. Side. Bride. It's... and Hey, let's check out fucking your film Because all your assholes

It's James made his lover Because all your assholes, the James Smith is loving. You're the leader of Bad Guy in a Will Smith movie. Simon, that light's killing me, you talk sucker. I know you're trying to light James Smith perfectly. Get that out of my mouth. Now it's all over the place. That's f**k that light. That intro music is going to turn off any black listeners who want to listen to this. There are no black listeners. And who?

Who have a lot of black listeners? There's a lot of black girls who listen to this. Can't you put like a little drum beat behind that as well to make it more universal? No, listen, fucking Cuban Pete. Go down there, you wanna, you all fucking diverse. You know the culture, fuck you. We can use a gungle drum.

Multi-culturalism is the future. What happened today in the news is affecting all of us. I'm a favorite line in fucking all the family when they in the elevator with the black guy and the Puerto Rican. And this Puerto Rican goes, Mr. Bunker, I don't know why you do this. I am equal to you.

And he looks at the black guy goes, equal to me, you're not even equal to him. The black guy goes equal to me. You're not even equal to him. The black guy close. Who's right? No, it's the best dude. That was great about TV back in the day. They were just openly racist. Yeah, well, no, just aren't you bunker. It wasn't like all over the place. No, no, Jefferson's all the black. Yeah, it's all the cartoons from like the first of all, this how dumb leuaces.

They weren't racist. They dealt with racism you fucking dumb dumb It wasn't as petty elevator scene is is funny because it's fucking true There's guys like Archie Bunker who aren't racist, but they're fucking they were brought up in a weird time That they don't they're better than a Puerto Rican guy or any it's it's not him being a racist asshole There's as exposing racism so we can laugh at ourselves, you fucking. It is amazing though, there was a... Hang on one second, jack and Ieps. Go ahead.

There's a lot of words with no fun. I was trying, you were just staring at me, I couldn't even yell at me halfway through. Sorry, James, what are you talking about? No, like sitcoms like that, there's a British one, I think it was called Love the Neighbor. And the guy used to refer to his neighbor who was a black man, a black man with a racial slur, and it was just a sitcom. I guess it was like 70s.

What was a racial slur? Get on that mic, eat that so we can get you, Bubba. I'd rather not, er, really. Abo, do you need a new, grab that thing and put it on, okay? Yeah, does that smell better? People at home probably think that's Kelly with his sex change right now. I'd rather fuck James Smith and Kelly right now. I'd actually rather that. I can live with it. I'd rather fuck James Smith and Kelly.

Really? I'd rather fuck. I'd rather fuck. I'd rather fuck. I'd rather fuck dead poets aside. Oh, Jesus. Ray Allen. There you go.

There you go. There you go. Dead poets. That's what I haven't heard before. Oh, my captain. My captain. Oh, my captain. I'm like captain.

We got, let's go around the room real quick on the couch We got Ray Allen. Hey, are you funny guy? He's growing his hair for charity. Yeah, it's true It's true. It's ruining my social life. That's what charity told him to do close hair I think the most disturbing thing is he's stomach is protruding So let me direct me We'll go a little lower James. I know I know why you go to rubah. Why hang out with us? We're just we just this place stags. Yeah, I love a rubah. I'm perfect Of course over on the other side of the room we get James Smith who is from Australia

The guy to the left of him is the fucking the monkey the train you so animal the fucking gorilla Maybe the monkey that knows the difference between left and right you fucking asshole. I'm to the right of him No, he's been talking about me. He's talking about James I'm just a little left of him. I'm to the right of him Yeah, but to me and the people watching dumb dumb Yeah, I'm looking at the camera. I'm talking to the people I'm not to the left of James Smith I'm not from his perspective on the camera right here and everybody watching but you didn't say You got to take the word him out for it to be correct

He is to the right of me or he is to the left So it's a more the you have to replace one of the houses. How do we just take it out? And the stupid person? Who was in the shot next to James is Lewis the animal steel The fucking getting fat again. Oh God. Wow. You're getting fat. I really am getting fat again. Oh my god I can see those little fucking ham hawks on your cheeks. I, me and Bobby did away in yesterday

and I was seven pounds less than him. And today, today, when I- Did you bring your scale? No, I didn't. I don't care. I'm carrying a scale to the cellar you fucking showed. You should. That was a good one.

I'll laugh at that one. You should, that was funny. That deserves more. But how can you remain in shape in New York? I mean, with the cold and the loneliness and the fucking just look at why you're so fucking lonely. You're fucking tall, dark, everybody likes you. He's a million miles away from home except for comedians and you have beautiful hair, particularly comedians. And then over there, filming if you see this guy's legs, and you see that fucking tight vest, fucking dark holidays filming our,

he's Simon from Australia Wave, he was on the show last week. And then over, and we got by popular to ban, we got fucking Yannis pompous. Yeah, New York, I'm back. It's like Simon and Ray show up with the same outlet. I think that you lost your mojo. Well, you know, I'm on television, so I gotta be...

Is it really television if it's fucking that far? If you ask the 17 people that watch it, they will tell you it's television. What do you want, Yana, so I'm gonna see it. It's a new network called Fusion. Why don't you guys come on my podcast and we can help out your numbers I don't have a different fan base People watch my show can read just talking to that one second. Yeah, hey, it works. Okay, go ahead

Are you auditing my podcast? Like is it going on? He's still got his scarf on. It's cold. It's cold up here. I'm thinking of elderberry for the past three days. It's just magic. I know you too. I'm taking it too.

What are you taking? Elderberry. It's like this homeopathic thing. It knocks out colds really, really well. Key on the rummo. It's this homeopathic remedy called elderberry. You take it while you swallow some semen with it. It's delicious. Can we fucking isolate that and just play that at the beginning of the show?

For the rest of the show Delicious. What did you have to say? I don't know some pizza place. Here's what I this what I was talking to you before downstairs Ray we don't hang out really but I've known you for God them a long time. I've known you longer than anybody in this room. Wow. I mean, yeah we're not I'm closer to Lewis than me but that doesn't give you a thing. No, I'm dragging about it. I didn't realize that. I've just I've known you long. That means he's had that much time to figure out that he really doesn't like you.

Yeah. What he's doing is he's rationalizing here. He's saying we don't hang out but we've not each other a long time. It's like a consolation process. No, we haven't known each other a long time and we talk once in a while and we were talking before the show downstairs and you go to a rubah once a month. I go to a rubah every month, man, for like seven, eight days, nine days a month. It's the most perfect place on earth. It's beautiful It's amazing. It's it's fun. First of all, Ruba is my joint I go I used to go there once a year for 10 days right before Christmas like I'm on Christmas Eve and go and do all the bullshit

Is this for gigs or just for vacation? No, there's no gig now. No gig now. It's beautiful. Nothing down there That's why I love they had one comedy club somewhere and I just went and hung out. I know, it's beautiful. Nothing down there, that's why I love it. They had one comedy club somewhere. And I just went and hung out. I loved it. It's two miles by nine miles. Yeah, something like that. Small island, right by Venezuela. They have a red light district if you're a fucking creep.

How long is the flight from here? Four hours. What takes you? $400 once a month. You know what, I went down there with a friend who owns a place down there and she took me all around the island and I just I I'm telling man. It was like what's his name?

It was in a hooker. No, it was just scrolling. Oh, I wasn't even sleeping with just had you ever been the red light district I've driven through them. No, I've never slept with a hooker in my life And we're off a rubas Stay when I do now a roobo separate. This is gonna stay on what I do now, Lewis. It's a- No, it's legal hookers. They're great.

They're beautiful. They're legal too. So you go down there once a year and just walk around and ignore it. I am telling you, you're not gonna believe. Everybody seems to go down there and like drinking and like getting laid and all that. I go down and it's just- Just read, huh? It's the most cathartic.

It's fucking beautiful. It's really beautiful. You snorkel, you horseback ride home your parents. Yeah, man. It's awesome I you do all this stuff. That would be on the agenda of a girlfriend on a big watch I go alone. I'm a my own girl. Let's know cool Lewis hang out with some whales I don't know if you've done this on the shovel when I'm don't really shut your face Fucking yannis is back. Talk over Yannis. This isn't bar four at all. If you're having me trying to get in between something,

let me. I feel bad for Lewis. He fucking had another zinger. And you're not even listening. I was in the middle of doing one thing or here. Are you, yeah, but yours, there was a good one. No, they want today's podcast to be interesting. Come on, we can't leave the not funny.

The this guy goes to a river once a month. Like, there's something, this, this, and James, you're absolutely right. There's something, no, I love, it's abnormal. I love a rubah, I get it, I get it. I'm a fucking fan. I've gone for 10 years. It's incredible.

But once a month is fucking. For nine days, for nine days. I was getting so burnt out here. I'm telling you I was losing my fucking mind. And it's once I saw that place, you zip down on a quick flight, like, you know, flexible when I go down, getting a car, rent a little house, and it is it is just fucking it's paradise. Is there any, is there any like financial thing that enables you to do this? You know what I'm saying like do you have something going on to where you get to basically do it Because he's telling us he's going down the location once a month like crazy like Jude Law Month the talented mr. Ellen Jesus Christ. Yeah, I'm telling well. I mean I like it's him Beyonce and Jay-Z

You know just chilling. I can't believe fucking James And then killing on my show Lewis is just fucking zip-in-out bombs You can't believe fucking no, no, he actually set him up for that. I was a good team Tag team and James met loose James on the Next up on the morning show I love this when you can I it is really weird though that like I love it But I wouldn't go there once I don't know if I could you would want to go down once more

No because I have shows you know One with a fucking job has nine days We say when we say when we say job with good stand-up comedians right I understand all right That that we got a plumbing business Lewis would have been like go to super of a building right right, but even as a standup, you don't have nine free days. Let me tell you So you go down you write you just fucking re recharge How come your act isn't better? If you were doing this once a month

You should have fucking the most amazing. Oh my god hour. I write two out of the 90s We get it that it's nice, but that you're not justifying how you're doing You gotta live your fucking life man. I like that. How do you pay your rent and still take 10 days off a month? Because the other I like it how it keeps getting progressively longer. I went from seven days to nine days to 10 days You got fucking 15 days a month that you bang in lady boy hookers in a rubber. How are you affording this? Suddenly, it's fucking Thailand. You're commuting from a rubber every day. You're a man-hatten. You've bang lady boy Hookers in Aruba. How are you affording this? Suddenly it's fucking Thailand. You're commuting from Aruba. Every day. You're a tag man.

You've Bang Lady Boy Hookers in Thailand. How does it matter? I've seen it. I've seen it. Is this your first time on the park? Yeah, I've never been on the show. Just getting fucking attacked by everybody. It feels like I feel like this.

There's something. Listen, here's the thing. It feels like a warm hug. Here's the thing. There's something. There's something more to it. There's something more, look, you're a parent, you're a fan of Monk Colombo,

shows that I like. When somebody says, I go once a month to Aruba, and you're not loaded, you're not fucking famous, you don't have a fucking lear jet, you're flying jet blue, getting some blue chips, just like everybody else, and you use it out. And this is, can I just say something too? Just a little more information? This is peak season.

Yeah. This is peak season. Like it's expensive as fuck. I come back before peak season starts on the 23rd. I come back before peak season because the hotel rates go up a fucking like $200. $400. Yeah. Well, I rent that little, rent the little house, which is a,

do you sublet your apartment back at home? No, no, I don't do. I tried it and I got in trouble with the, uh, all right. He's got family wealth. Is that no i don't do i tried it and i got trouble the uh... right to get a family wealth is that how i don't know there's some wealth some work i have had a couple tv shows before i save my money for you know for whatever when what's the issue a couple of you know i'm a why i'm acting so surprised that i don't have learned the cardinal rule that is you don't brag around comical

but you have anything good on the money for is you don't brag around comics I'm bragging with you at anything or I got the money for it. I don't say it. I'd say I've been to a ruby just say fuck wasn't Christmas shitty. We were talking about it. We were talking about it. We were talking about it. We were talking about it.

We were talking about it about it about it about it about it about it about it about it. I really, we were talking about it before the show. I don't mind. And I really love a ruby. I just love it. I'd love to retire there someday. Comics need to know that you're doing worse or equal to them.

It's Dutch owned. So it's no crime to say. It's speaking less everybody. It's 2% crime, right? You got a little whore. It's just really your hand cool. But there's no sharks. There's no bullshit.

There's no waves. Like Mexico, you can't get on the fucking water because there's waves and great white sharks. Fucking cartels It's not sure I went in the water in Mexico. It's cuz you're Mexican. I want to hear about these couple TV shows Well, I will oh James does want to hear my resume is premium blend one of them Cable axis

How much are you two tablespoons. I'm sorry two teaspoons. Okay two teaspoons. It's excellent. Yeah it's definitely. Bobby's so fat that he can actually measure out teaspoons with his mouth. That's not bad. That's a nice. That looks like he's bleeding for the mouth. Look at his mouth. It doesn't taste great, but it's not bad. Wow, that was a fucking good one. Do you know when it's good when it hurts a little? Yeah. When you're like, oh shit, I've actually, I've measured gravy and my mouth.

No. No. No. No. Two parts of vinegar. Oh. I get human-based. That's two pounds of chicken right there.

I know, because that's what I can hold in my mouth at the same time. This fucking wild hog will feed 37 people. This mouth is like that Wang thing where they charge you based on the pound. A scale? You idiot. A scale? Yeah, Wang thing. You have a fucking show. You're on a fucking hit show hang on let's hear that raise development deals first you don't know that's hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi where 14 Arubian brothers, fat Arubian blood, but seeing the same song to a fucking jungle line. It's called, we lie about fucking hookers. Ha ha ha. Okay, first of all. Second of all.

The team show. Yes. I hosted a show called New York now for a couple of years. No, I was. Where was that filmed? In the city. But who saw it? I don't fucking know how many people,

but in the New York New Jersey community. It was for New York. Yeah, New York New Jersey kid. Yeah, it was in the Niagara Falls area So you did well in Cleveland. You know what's funny? I hosted a TV show called Brain Fuel's a kid show And that was actually huge in Ohio and Florida. Oh, yeah, I don't remember that All of those brain fuel kids grew up are now our fans of young My fans became fusion. That's why you go to Ruby. You have a cult of those brain-fuel kids grew up in there. Now we're fans of Youngest and Orange Shade. That's right. My fans became fusion. That's why you go to Rubar.

You have a cult of all brain-fuel kids down in the river. He types everything out of a Rubar. That explains the hair and the scarf. Yeah. You walking around and flip-flops a speedo with that hair cut, too? I walk around. That's a visual. I cut that so, man.

I wear a pair of shorts, nothing. A barefoot and nothing else. I know what happened. I thought it's great. I know what happened. And where I think there's a certain stage of life, you're not at it, you've been at it, but the other way, you want to kill yourself.

You were at it, you were going to move. There's a certain stage of this business where you go, you know what, I want to be happy. I want to be happy first, and then I'll do the other shit after. And you went to a ruba and said, you know what, I can come here, live cheap, live like a hippie and relax and clear my,

and not worry about getting in at the seller or getting enough spots at the seller because SD doesn't give you enough spots and you used to get a lot more spots, but now you don't, but she makes your hose, which you don't like, I'm sorry. Anyway, so I like, I like hose, I do. And he's a good host, don't I do. And he's a good host.

Don't give him that. He's a great host. But that's it. That's what you did. And instead of going fuck the business, you make the business work for you. Yeah, seriously. I don't think I could get the energy to go every month.

It's when you get there. You can't even make your smile. Yeah, why not just stay? That's what I'm trying to say. Well, because you know why? I thought I actually did think for a couple of, I thought maybe I should just move here now, but you can't because you just need more stimulation

in New York, but the truth is not real. You're like, what are you gonna do down there? Play the one club. No, you need stimulation into your. That's why I come back up here, you know. But, no, but you can't fucking leave. What are you gonna do down there? For 10 days a month?

No, it's a leave there. That's what I'm saying. I could not live there permanently. That's why you couldn't live there permanently, but it's not because it's fucking. Can you guys stop arguing the same point? I know. What the fuck? Yeah, you're reminding Lewis of his parents. No, he doesn't remember his parents. See, I had a talk show for like a late net. You see, it was a great talk show. Oh, it was, uh, it was an online thing like the tonight show. We had big guests. Pretty big. I remember it at Gotham Comedy. You were the host before Jimmy Ann now,

and I remember this for a while. Oh, that's dude, I watched, stop, stop, stop, stop. What the fuck, we're stepping over this shit. What the fuck, you taught you late night? Late night? It was your boy. No, it's called late night. Late night, oh god, all right.

I thought I fucking, and you do have a nice of you back in the day. Yeah. Now he had high profile guests, and I remember him. Oh, hey, Hank Azaria, Fran Drescher, Chevy Chase, Paul Schaefer, all Jews. I'm so sorry, people.

But you had one really, really big one. What was it? I remember. Oxana by U. She would have you show. Forgive me for knowing you. Do you know he's a Jew, right? Who's Oxana by U? I'm not a fan.

I'm the only Jew in the world. She was a figure skater. She won the Olympic. No, I don't. So this guy, good gas was a good show. You got good, good guys. Kelly Fistuga just joined us, everybody. You see her fucking red tits. Yeah.

That's actually awesome, and he had, it was a legitimate show. Well, here's the thing, is that you gave up in a, in a good way. You did, you said fuck, I moved out to the country. I got two cars in a backyard in the house, instead of living, I got to live on 47th Street B and the thickest shit.

And I remember talking to Louis one day, I was like, I'm afraid I'm gonna lose my funny in my edge. You know what I'm saying? He's, uh, he's, uh, ha ha ha ha. Was that, yeah, I'm, it was Louis cats. I just wanna make sure.

It was, it was, it was, it was, I'm gonna do animal over there. So, but yeah, I was like, no, when you decide to be happy, when you decide to put your shit up there, the microphones are on your fucking ass hall. I know, but don't be like a shitty audience member. Did you hear what he said? We were here to be fucking idiot.

We heard it. We laughed and we moved on. That's what comics do Fucking you're like my aunt Peggy. It was too potent to move on. No, I know, but keep laughing at it I like James Smith on the show. He's really doing good. I was very surprised. I thought Ellen was gonna beat him But apparently you fucking Ellen is selling time shares on a robot The selling time shares I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach.

Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach.

Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach.

Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, I'm sure it's not Rubach. Oh, It's like he's gonna trust fun, but he does. I will say, I play poker every night when I'm down there, which it's social fun and also you can make some money doing it. What's the most you've ever made? Playing poker? No, playing fucking, yes. In a two-five game? And one night, maybe four grand. Really?

So you make four grand, so? Not every night. What do you make consistently? If you got to average it out. 700. 700 a night, probably. Oh, that's why you go to fucking a ruby then no I go to a ruby that's the poker I don't play every now you will for to go to a ruby every month. I have for it Because I work I work the other three weeks a month has anybody ever told you you have the profile of our four fathers My hair down I look like Jefferson you should be on a nickel

i always so i do my fucking act is it really a bit i'd see i tell i never watch you i'm not i've seen it it's fine i always say it if any woman in the audience wants to fucking nickel whatever you turn to the side that's fine to decide well i mean you've and let's get back to this you've never been with a hooker

are you honest you should never mind you move the this. You've never been with a hooker. Are you honest? No, never my life. You go with a hooker. I've never been with a hooker. No. This goes out to people. I've never been with a hooker. Can you do corporate, can you do corporate, Dan? I have never been with a hooker.

Who's been with a hooker before? Do you even know what we got in? Who does that? I've been with a hooker. In a Rubah? In a Rubah? No, I've only gone there with my wife. No, but I've driven by going, how can I do this?

I was gonna rent an other hotel room next to my room and go listen, I'll be right back. I was gonna fucking rent the storage unit to fuck Jake's wants. You're not sweating, God, that's a great idea. I was gonna be like, yeah, I gotta stop off and get something in my storage unit, put a couch in there with a lamp. Right, just go in there and just get my dick sucked. Be like a side apartment. What's up buddy? Speaking of, where's Nettaman? I don't know dude.

He's like, he had a bad call. Did I have one too? Yeah, you made it. You got the elderberry, you're okay. Yeah, but I don't know if it's gonna work. I hope it's not the flow. That's gonna work. There's a flu strand going around right now that it's the A-flow.

What is the abomal name for this? You know what the A-flow is? You get it from a Rubo Hooker. So that's where you get the A-flow. How do you know the issue is you get it You get it from a Rubo hookers. That's where you get the a party. I know I've never been with what I've heard Right, you're not worried about disease even the the hookers in a Rubo they get tested once a week I'm still too bad. How do you know that I learn about the island? You know, I've been there fucking ten years. I've never really I learned about the other that doesn't sound like it's in the tourist guide By the way, I am too much of a hypochondriac to sleep with a hooker.

That's next to the fucking ATV rental flyer, the Cames, and how to get a hooker. I'm too much of a hypochondriac to sleep with a hooker. That's why I don't do it. If there's no diseases, I would do that. How do you know they're good looking? I've driven through the thing. That's a great point. But you can't.

You can't. Southern part of the island. But you don't drive through it. It's inside. They're not outside. If you... No, no, but you don't drive through it. It's inside. They're not outside. If, no, no, some of them stand outside almost like in doorway. Somebody just got caught in a lot. You really knows about these hookers.

Yeah, some stand indoors. Otherwise, you have to go into the bars and they, you know, it's amazing about Aruba. It's the hookers, everybody. There's some polite, even the homeless people, they won't ask you for money. They hope that you'll give them money. The hookers don't ask you for sex,

but they hope you'll ask them for sex. Kind like your comedy career exactly. It's it's a Farquhose that I don't fuck it's that hurt me me. It's cold. Why did you say what such a Came in here. He read the culture and he's like oh, it's all about being a dick. That's what it is That's what we do here. Yeah, I just can't I can't mean light. What is everyone hate you shut up? I'm the sweetest guy in New York He's a good boy. I don't like Kelly's wearing red now just to stick out on the video. Hi, am I?

Yeah. He just made a phenomenal point though that if there was no such thing as disease, you would have who cares every day. That's a great point. Every day all day. That's the only real deterrent. Yeah. Is it really now?

It's not like fucking. You wear condoms. What is it? You wear condoms. Well, here's well here's the L2 don't trust science Well, they're getting a 19 year old is much worse than banging a hook over the condom. That's the truth depends on the 19 year old I mean this but think about you're sleeping with somebody whose business is to sleep with five guys a day every day Probably more in five whatever the fuck what is she fucking? 86 Five whatever the fuck what is she fucking? Yeah, she's a Raising

Was she part time I fuck seven myself in a day in Brazil. She's the right owner of hookers. Yeah She goes she goes over occasion to Queens once a month She gets the same amount of clients you do spots She gets the same amount of clients you do spots People under the assumption I don't work I work my ass off. I don't know what you know I hosted a TV show called the movie law for three years never heard of it I was gonna what the fuck when you say I was to share the fusion network no No, but he's

Shit, but it's a it's a living but I'm not being attacked here. I'm a second. You're on fusion Yeah, yeah, and he's living in it right now that just attacked here. I was like it. You're on fusion. Yeah, yeah And he's living in it right now. That just being mean. This is your shitty pass. We're making fun of Listen to me. Ebenezer. I want to make Is one of your past Oh Ebeneezer Rubo Fucking pack a jackals and he's a wounded wilderness right now. I remember every day. Oh, fuck dude. Ebeneezer What's up?

Don't come to the show with a ponytail. It gets weird Here's the thing though is that you know, I mean James Smith is that's your personality not to trust Because you're a fucking pretty negative guy I think you're what you're gonna use pretty negative guy. I like to use the word accountable. You're a nice people, very accountable. No, not us. I'm talking, I think you're a nice guy to people. I don't think you're an asshole, but I think you're a fucking negative person to yourself.

I don't know about negative. I'm very, I'm very, I'm very accountable with myself. What do you mean though? You talk about killing yourself. You talk about how miserable your life is. I don't know about killing myself, but I talk about talk about, I actually want you to think about this. He's encouraging me to kill myself. I think more about accountability than anything.

What do you mean by that? Explain that. Well, I'm just very self-aware. I wanna throw it. I'm stupid. You think that accent's gonna fucking fool me, you're out of your mind. Let's go back to Roman Plandsky of me. I'm not. But what fucking fool me you're out of your mind let's go back to Roman plan skier but what i get where you're saying is that it's i understand where you're

coming from you you you you do love going there you've done it's almost like here you go on cruise ships not all because uh... although what do you fucking drop on an album that all son the cruise ship's like uh... that was is it sucks. I'm not saying it is But it's like you know look everybody does their thing at a certain point of this fucking business Yeah, you know what triggered a Bobby is that I had a fades Herpes I got a full blown James Smith full blown. I had a deal I had a deal with NBC yeah, and it expired and it was end up being a huge waste of time

Your career was almost awesome a lot of times. Yeah, right. Watching the stick. And then when that thing ended, I went away with my friend to a rubah and I was like, this is fucking perfect. I felt the same way, wasn't it? I feel like you got money. Legitimately sad every time I leave that island.

I do too. I could be back in three weeks, don't get too upset. Jesus Christ. Well, I made that happen because when I first left there I was like I was really bummed I'm like fuck this and I just changed things around and do you have a nickname in a rubah? They call me a rubaree. Do they really yeah just for the record? I do not buy any of it. What do you mean? I don't buy that he goes there every month?

I'm fucking trust funders. I don't know his name is Rowan. I don't go that I don't buy that he goes there every month. I'm fucking trust funders. I don't believe that his name is Ray Allen I don't go that I don't buy that he goes there every month You check my pants. I'm by that he goes for nine days. What do you think? Why do you think he does it? You have to have what would I think I was lie about that? I do well I don't know that you would intentionally lie, but there's missing pieces here Yeah, so I'm able to do that you have to have and we need it We need a James Smith here when we had fucking moron about her for a more America kidnapping and rape Why we all believed her Go ahead I just it just doesn't compute it doesn't add up

You know on a logic spreadsheet. It doesn't add up It's bullshit to check that even if I didn't play poker What's it cost me to go down there? Let's say let's say it cost me 1,400 bucks to go down there every month It's a lot of money, but it's a lot of money, but for your happiness and deliver life and the rate of late net money. Are you kidding? Yeah, the guy down there asking the reporters could say the same thing. You know what? It's a lot of money But it's about for cars. It's not just the money. It's also the scheduling like nobody has nine straight days to just Fuck and take off in this business. Yeah, but who would lie about going to a ruboo once a month this kind off in this business yeah but who would lie about going to a rubah once a month this can't

smiddy step back smiddy um fuck did i'm losing on that camera here's the port i don't know how it doesn't compute like you want to enjoy your life and take sure everybody does we don't fucking love to come with you to a river every month but it's not practical yana sure welcome to come down to it. Right. Body. I could keep a secret. What the fuck? Some hookers. It's not a big deal, friend. Why did I? Why am I the only one invited? You've been the most polite. There you go. Because you're also on a shitty show. And I'm not picking on right. I'm not picking on right. I'm not picking on right. I really like you. I'm not a fan of that shot. I'm not a fan of that. Right and close to

Kelly. Kelly, move over to the. I really like you on that shot. I'm out of it. Right and close to Kelly. Kelly, move over to this one. You just don't bother it. Go over it. Bring your leg over. Something awful about this guy. Right there. Great.

Perfect. Good, you're good, you're good, you're good. Thank you. What do you stay when you're in New York? Like, how you paint rent here? I have a apartment here. So who stays in your apartment when you leave? Nobody.

Nobody. You can afford to just have an apartment. Kelly, stop trying to get a free apartment. You fucking asshole. I know what's coming on here. She is The guys got money man. I'm like I'm on the bullshit detector. He said 14 TV deals. It's got money saved one of them with a network Yeah, what I'm with The rest were online with a network with a network with a network Network was the funny part of that.

That was great. The network. I got it. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that.

I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that.

I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I don't have kids we know right? So so fave it's not that It's their main I love it. I see you don't get a lay jigsmith I'm sure that here he does he fucks fucking John mayor a lot And I will make the going on a cruise again Bad for John Get a nice big bum

I look right. I think you're a good looking guy. I don't think you're an asshole. What's happening is I understand what James is saying. It's a little out of form because you are at a certain age where you're going down to an island once a month to spend a lot of time. But I think, oh, another thing, do you have a comedy club down there? I don't have a comedy club.

During the winter months, during the higher season, the winter months, I'll do shows down there. Right, yeah. Now you guys are all changing your fucking tune. What are shows? Now you get to go to Rubo for nine days. I would love to do something like that. If I can set up a show in the Caribbean like once a month,

I'd go down every month, why not? I get why you want to go. I only do it during the cold winter months. You wouldn't be able to make it back. Just during the winter months. Well, I don't understand why is this such a problem? He's doing something unique. What's the problem? It's not unique. It's fucking what the fuck happened to you. You guys doing something different. What is different about it? He goes to a Rubo once a month. Yeah, he's fucking murdering. You is different about it? He goes to a rubble once a month

Fucking murdering you know, he's kill. He's a serial killer He's going to a rubble once a month and murdering a white blonde girl from North Carolina That's on buddy. I was there. I was there during Thanksgiving I went I began down by myself over Thanksgiving It was the best Thanksgiving of my life and I had the best meal I ever had at busters You know the sports board down there. Yeah, well, no it was the most fucking delicious turkey That sounds to me. We get it that it's good. He's already affirmed that it's good. That's not what we're questioning here We're questioning that it doesn't fucking compute that you can fiscally do it or time wise do it because no other can

I don't think it's really that that to me that's not a lot of money You're talking about it. You're trying to say how great it is. We don't fucking go if it was possible I don't You're trying to say how happy it is we'd all fucking go if it was possible I was off physically I probably spend the same amount of money when I'm in the city every week I probably do you wouldn't go on dinner and all that other Do you have a family you're gonna fly to the fucking restaurant parents and brothers at two sisters So on Thanksgiving you were down there eating alone at a busters and that was great some friend it was great That was really great friends from a rubah. Yeah, Rubah friends I think they're the pump and nickel people What'sc-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c-e-c- I'm gonna justify them. Yeah, because if you told me this in conversation,

I would be like, oh, that's great. And then I would just change the subject. Because I wouldn't care that much. I wouldn't care that much. By the way, I've vacationed for fucking a third of the month every month. It's 100% true. You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm not gonna let you do the gig, but you can come down and just watch me live. You can do the gig, yeah. Can I bring Lewis? Maybe sleep in your room, yeah. I'll get my own room. I'll go for him. I'm doing a fucking cruise to Bermuda and I'm doing it for basically just the cruise. Nice.

Now you have a credit. So what is your agent getting this guy from this cruise? You guys. Jesus. He was on the heavy metal fault. I'm doing a fun, yeah, it's not just a regular cruise.'m performing a popper roach and seven dust. Oh, that's good. Yeah, those are always fun The bases from popper roaches those guys are at the top of their game right now. Yeah, go up Go up after a fucking metal band on a cruise

That's gonna be a great gig. Who's going up? So I have a kid. I love MMA good for you I'm opening for the third eye blind on a cruise It's gonna get fucking it's gonna get a bass right up the side of this fucking dumb knee head. No, it's a comedy fucking club on the cruise. There's bands going on. It's amazing. Sounds like a dream. I love that you're fucking fast forwarding to the end of your career.

I like that. Take notes, my friend. So, Ray, are you gonna move down there? I don't think I can live there for all your own. No. So, Ray, so are you gonna move down there? I don't think I can live there for all your own. No, no, man, you know how it is. You know, you go to the movie. You've got your art studio here. So you get your students. I support my students. No, and don't forget that fucking thing you have to, that benefit you have to raise money for., yeah, chest club with charities

Yeah, I do a lot of you a lot of you know that fucking community meetings next week What do you just have a roller dex of mean that you're just going through? Fucking this one will hurt that's gonna hurt that'll hurt Chest club poetry club Chess Club, poetry club, Faggot. No, she didn't. No, she didn't. She didn't. Kippy.

I love the New Yannis. I love the I take the little man side. I always take the little man. Do you really? Yeah. Yeah, that's why I support Kelly. How? Yay.

And Chris Copeland. There's nothing a little about Kelly. And by the way, fucking when I was in the chat room last week, you would not read my thing against you because it was too good Again, he's a hack. Yeah, that's good. His lower body looks like Ricky Henderson after he retires Fucking good one. Yeah, it's a good one. It's a good reference. I'm scared for people It looks good, but it's a fuck it's not good. I'm not good at my book unless James repeats it five times You know how I pitch boys and a high pitch

Ricky go to my book and let James repeats it five times. In a high pitch voice. In a high pitch voice. Rinky Henders is lower body. What the fuck was that? That was the present. On your shows you never did an accent. Can we stop referring to them as shows? Jesus Christ. If you film something at home it's not a show. It's cool to fucking video. If Lenny Marcus has to edit it it's not a show. That's cool to fucking have you know.

If Lenny Marcus has to edit it, it's not a show. It's an effort. Your mom press and we're cool. How many fucking ocean... ...strillions are here today. Two, three. Three. Three.

How many... what's the lesson? What a shit country. James. The views of Robert Kelly do reflejan los de James Smith. Tu talento te mueve. Solicitad health reason can we ask? In all words. In all words. In all words. Severe animal words. Can you be fucking the list?

Well, yeah, he was fucking me, but yeah, I still contracted the same disease. Should I get the bone band out of that one? Honestly, God, though, one day you were here, you're down the cellar, and the next day you're gone. And here's, this is the worst part of it. Nobody fucking really knew. Like people like, did you hear what happened to James?

No, what? I don't know. Like people would say it that way. Like James was going to get real, see him was died. I'm like, of what? I don't know. Like nobody knew the fucking details. And nobody knew, you know, there was a point where like,

is that fucking dude, did he die? Like nobody heard. I think the biggest point was that nobody cared. Yeah, I'm sure comments are really concerned. Like, oh well, another spot's open. Yeah. Well, people were asking me because I was Australian. And I was like, I met him like once before he moved

when I first moved to you, but I was like, I don't know him. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, yeah. Good job injecting yourself into that story Kelly. Yeah. People were asking me all the time, but it's because everyone was Australian too. It's like, you know, we're related, but no, there's a lot of us there.

Well, so you, I mean, you're at the cell, you're doing your shit, you're hanging out. Actually, you're hanging out with, you honestly got John Mayer, you're doing a lot of cool shit with him, a lot of gigs. Well, it's not that cool, who's it? I thought you were going to end it. You're a fucking asshole today. He stinks today. Why? What do you do gonna end it. I fucking asshole today. He stinks today.

Why? What do you do? The cameras are all in people's faces. He didn't set it upright. And he's, I'm absolutely talking for five minutes. He's only fucking the wrong camera. Cut the guy some slack, man. He barks hard at night, you know?

He's got four jobs. Fuck, how's it going? He's got to go bark in front of one and one later. Who would ever go to a fucking scope? Oh, come on, show. Sorry. Well, I go to a fucking show. I don't even shit if you're going on.

Hey guys, you like Cammy? Name is Chris Scobo. Hey, don't you want to see some bliffs? I talk about my ass, don't I do it? I write up stans if you want to see it. Hey guys, don't you, I mean. Um, go check it in for a comedy show. So So you

So what the fuck happens, Mitty? I got an inflamed in test time and it was Outrageously inflamed and I couldn't do anything or eat anything and I was just getting sicker and sicker And I was like all right. I got to go home and get this sorted out. How did you get it? It's just an autoimmune It's just your body attacking it. Well, when you're so mean to people after a while, that's a matter of fists. That's a two-acquastata. That's his karma.

Yeah, just like go spusters too, just the mean jelly. River of mean. Yeah, yeah. Fury. So, but you're okay now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God.

So what happened? happened like how did you How did you get I mean, why did you get it fixed here first of all and I heard that I seek really? 14 hours home right yeah, but I was just really sick and they were trying to you know They're always trying to work out what it is and what's wrong and it took them a while to establish that and I was just getting Seeker and seeker and and I was like okay, okay, I couldn't, I couldn't really do much You know, it was really tired and methodical The time when you say sick like you couldn't eat you couldn't shit. Yeah, yeah, it couldn't eat couldn't couldn't function I was had no energy, you know, so so I mean that ride home was the sucked. Oh, it was horrific

How long between you found out you you started feeling sick to when you went home? Few months I suppose yeah, do you have any health care here at all? a few months I suppose. Yeah. Do you have any health care here at all? I had some, yeah, but it was, it's not, I had far better back there for a start. I just couldn't do anything. I couldn't prepare for, I couldn't do anything.

I was too exhausted all the time, you know. But I heard that John was gonna be like, look, just stay here, I'll take care of it and you're like, oh, no, I got it. Correct. That's pretty, I mean, I understand why you, I understand that it's kind of admirable, but why wouldn't you just go, all right, got it. That's pretty well. I mean understand why you I understand that it's kind of admirable But why wouldn't you score it dude do it? Oh, that's the that's like presidential care

Yeah, he was very well. He was very good in anyways, but the The fact of the matter is I couldn't do anything here. My mother was already over here So she already came and got me, but I couldn't do anything. I just couldn't function, so it was just going to be easier back there. So you went home back to your mom's? And how close did you come to Diane? I don't know, I don't know how close, but I was very unwell for a very long time. To the point where it was unpleasant to say the least.

Did you ever think you would come back to New York? Yeah, you know what, you get to a point where you really wonder if it becomes so sacred and so precious, just the thought of getting back here, you really wonder, it was a real question, a real uncertainty, a real desperation to hope, you know. Really. Absolutely. And everything goes from being taken for granted to just everything being precious, particularly about here. Yeah. Right.

And then when did you make the term where you're like, I feel better today? About a year, I had a tiny month ago, I suppose. Yeah. So yeah, but it was like, all right, okay, we're getting some momentum here and it was great. Well, you should be giving it to him right now. He was very mean to you earlier on like you should be talking about You hope you died fucking boring Thropic That's the first time you ever had that whole thing Too bad that you're thinking you're too fucking bad

Too bad no, but He's been in a rubber Why so fucking chill like a lot? Get sick down there. There's no such thing. There's no sickness man. There really isn't sickness because of the salt water. It's a water. The air and the salt water gets in your sign. Most sicknesses come in your sinus.

Illness would go, God, I feel how fucking smooth my skin is. Go and touch it. Look at that. Oh, look at that. Rances dick out right now. Not really. Ray couldn't get sick. He's got to be in a rubber monthly. It's right, man. You shit candy down there. Beautiful Couldn't interrupt these nine day vacation. I I thought it was for pretty and then when you came back we're all like fuck Because we heard you're bad and we're like please just stay there stay there for Christ

Do you think it's your butt you think somehow your own psyche brought the sickness on? I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea. The science would say no. Yeah, I don't think it works that way. No, you don't think so? Because then if it could work that way, then you'd say,

I want to get better and then you'd be able to get better. You can heal yourself. No, no, no. Jesus, now he's a fuck. No, I'm a shriek. Yeah, I'm a fuck. I know you got a pony tub but we live in the Weston world Deepak, Ellen. Yeah, there's medication and stuff

Well, the berry That's that you're gonna feel great. I just tried to just out of Mexico and take the Iawaska You feel that? No, all you need to do is trip for four days and speak to God If you grow up on the tail. Yeah, if you grow up on his hell, your cancer will wither away. Rub this flower on your arm. I really is a fucking motivational speaking now. You can vacation like me and you can heal yourself. Cancer does not exist.

Jesus himself. So, man, just gotta enjoy yourself. Jesus Christ. Gotta enjoy yourself. Vickie and the guys down there in the street ask for encoders. They'd like to fucking enjoy themselves too. Sure they would. But life is shit.

They don't ask. Maybe they need to get 17 TV shows. Yeah. Then they will be able to enjoy the same bedroom. I think I would cut to a ruby too after that many development deals. I'd be like, I, this shit's not gonna work. Not happening.

It's clearly not gonna work. I've interviewed every celebrity I know. That's true. In my basement. Nobody gets rejected from having a successful run 17 times. That's a sign from God. My career is so rocking right now. I'm gonna leave once a month.

Let me go find a market that's never been tapped and never will be tapped. Hank is area curl. Come on the show because you're on vacation. What? Let me tell you, man. What the fuck was that? I don't know what that man is.

What did you just said? One of his guests was Hank Azaria. Okay, but what does that mean? I'm saying, you know, he fucking can't do the show. It's a take this. It's the fucking nice bomb band, and we want to know you had it. What is it? I know, but don't get whatever got you sick on it. It's the bomb band. It's the bomb band. The bomb band. When ever you do a joke, it doesn't work. You can tie it around. We don't give it to Callie. We give it to her when a joke does work. Yeah, it's reverse With her he just give that to Lou. We make her put it in her right tits So it evens off her fucking titties scope. I never I did not put that much thought into getting out of town that off And it just kind of just felt right now. We're comics. We do so

That's what we do. I know, but it's he I'm losing one I lose one weekend a month Yeah, but nobody nobody understands that because here it is gigs come when they come They don't come when you want them to I had to change right? I had to switch my trip before I came back early before I got a I got a corporate gig and I came back early whenever you know those gigs are good if we asked a hundred comedians Where they could do what you're proposing that would all say it all doable. It's totally fucking doable man You're losing one weekend a month and if you and if you get a big gig you fly back and do the gig It's not that hard man. It's all doable. It's not that hard. This is not you can't make it happen Dude, there's so much horrible shit in life. You dealt with crap or two years. This is nothing

I mean, yeah, but he went back to Australia, which is a beautiful place. I would want would wanna go there. The flight, can't do with the flight. Yeah, the people. It's fine. The fucking accent, stink. Not everybody's that happy. I'm just condescending cunts with questions. Okay. Man, ask you a question mate, shut up.

Oh, there's so much love in this room, dude. I, look at, we're gonna take a break, but I am, I wanna get to you, sir. Oh, fuck you, yeah, fuck. We go, I'm glad we talked about you, Ray. Sort of. And we talked about you, Smitty. We found out you're all right.

Unfortunately, you're going to be around for a while now. Are you back, back? Or is there any chance that this might come back? No, tragically, I'm here. Shit. All right, listen, is there any way, is this like airborne? Or how did you get that? Can we reinfect you?

I don't know, but we'll work on it. We'll try and see if we can get it to the turtle. I hope you don't. I'm a big fan of Smitty. And Ray, I like you marginally less. No. I'm with you, Ray. You remember, we took a petty cab together. Me, you and Bill Burr, we took a petty cab. Three of us crammed into the back. So you're trying to establish credibility? No no I'm just trying to remember if you remember I also remember want to know the freaky story I've ever known about you sure well here we go this is good or bad this is I don't know if it's good to tell out you know here she was the pitty kid you go to

Rubin next month you're fine you don't have family that loves you that wouldn't let you go to a ruby every month my I'm the youngest kid that I'm care Christmas is coming up. I've got to go to Ruby to eat by myself and have a great time So great sit at busters all by myself. I'm the only I don't let it get listen. Where was the petty cat? Why don't you take a petty kid? Hey, look at me. We're the first development deal. It's like me read. Stay with me. I'll rub for me. Say, hey Hey I want to take it to a K-largo A rubah

A rubah baby Momma K-largo Montego Baby, why don't we go to the Tokyo Mall? We'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow It's a great place to go when your career fell

Oh Jesus Christ Yeah You want to get away from it all your career is not going to go when you're career failed. Oh Jesus Christ. You wanna get away from it all? Your career's not gonna go to a rupee. We'll be back after these messages for my sponsors. Yeah, well. We're here, we're done. I'm not on. I don't know.

Hello. I like Pedro Pedro. Hello. He's great on the show. Right now, we're done. Oh, he's good on here. I gotta see you. Yeah. Hey, what's going on? YKW a... yeah Oh that's the last thing I want to say

Hey what's going on YKWD fans Hey I'm doing the ads you on us What's up fucking bonding with Ray Allen over there? Thank you so much You got to move over Don't listen to him, you listen to me Sorry Okay, I fuck him

Everybody's great There's no loyalty loose Hey You really don't, you got no fucking loyalty Camera guy shows up What do you need me to do? Fuck Bob and his production. He's doing a fucking pilot Bob. He might be able to get me in the business. Go ahead. Do the ice. Guys, if you're a fan of the YKWD show, you can do us a fucking solid. I know Christmas is over, but you know what? You have all those last-minute Christmas gifts that you didn't get yet that's right so people you can see next week possibly right

above the latest episode of YKBD at rikest.com slash Robert Kelly you'll notice a few links use our Amazon link bookmark our Amazon link and you we get a kickback every time you make a purchase through Amazon link you buy anything on Amazon dot com literally anything you buy to restore rubah probably ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the funds are really jacking. If you want to, if you want to look like the crow, you could buy clothes like James Smith and the sick crow. Crow with the hands. Let's go. Also next to that link, you can get us a link for Gamefly.com.

We're going to Gamefly.com slash Robert Kelly or why can't it be day? What is it, Bob? Kelly. Robert Kelly. YKWD. YKWD. Gamefly.com slash Robert Kelly or why can't it be day what is it Bob Kelly Robert Kelly why key WD WD gamefly.com slash why key WD yeah, sign up for the 15 day two game free trial We're not even as you to spend money now guys just sign up for the free trial You get two games for 15 days see if you like it gamefly.com is a Netflix for video games You don't need to buy video games anymore when you have gameplay in the world. Last but not least, guys, go to Tweakedaudio.com and use the promo code DUDE for the most

amazing in-ear headphones on the market. Nine different styles, nine different colors. You use the promo code DUDE 33% off, free shipping and unlimited lifetime warranty on already amazing inexpensive headphones. And if you want to go to the hammer fencing link, that's okay too. by the way by Ray Ellen Sanders, Janice has had 18 development deals. These high tech playing that through an iPhone. That's it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Fucking high tech. High tech, yes. What was, bump, bump, bump. That's it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, fucking high tech. What? High tech, yeah. What was that, fucking video on YouTube? What? You shot it with a fucking GoPro. I don't know, we shot it with a Canon Mark II.

What was that horrible shit you just put on? What? He's so mean, I love it. Yarnas's theme song? His brain is a roller dexamine. What was it though? That was? Here's a fucking bite in one right here. Yannis's theme song his brain is a roller dexamine Here's a fucking bite in one right here Yannis on what that was oh that was a song from my character more re-sau

Do you know what that is? I don't know do you know what that is? No, so that's I don't know what that's right is now That's ignorant of me. I just didn't know what you were playing. That was a big deal all right big hit Mm-hmm No, no, it depends on who you ask. You know, say it's a big deal. Right, he's going to give you a development deal that he can't use. If you're a woman with a mustache,

yes, it was a big hit. Yeah. I have a freaking signover as development deal for his friend. Right, literally gives himself development deals. I don't know why you doubt so much, Shibs. But Google, fucking Google me. Just Google and be a maid.

I don't know, because I've seen your act, but anyway. Oh. If seen your act but if you type in Ray Allen is to Google and auto fills a liar I'm kidding the bomb didn't I'm kidding James is fucking zeroed in on Ray right now I love right I love right I love right I just like I'm giggling huh that's a thank you Ray a guy who likes to lie I know I need a name I call myself probably the most honest he's ever been on a radio show 100% 100% Jesus I'd hate to see the other was his first radio show This is even a radio show it's a podcast, he had four radio show development deal Actually named the radio after Ray Allen Then Adam and DeSex to me. He said I wish I could be there

Have fun. No, he doesn't Tell Bobby's it feel better for all you Dan Adam and fans out there that was an impression that Both of you shout out Ray you can't win today. I can't Pony tell I thought it was a good one I can't win today. I can't win today. It's fine. I'll ponytail. I thought it was a good one. Thanks. How are you going to win? You are the author of your own misfortune.

If you walk in, I answer questions. And you sit back on that. You don't start out with a bunch of comics and go, yeah, I just got back from my monthly vacation. I didn't start out with that. Bobby asked me, he goes, yeah, we were talking earlier about Aruba. And he said, you go down every month.

I didn't know we were going to talk about it on the air. So I fucking answer the question please stop fighting if you had a poor let's just say if you had a poor and the same career you have now uh... i should have lied and said the bobby i don't know not not joking or i know that you should lie that you should omit right let's say you had a poor right we somebody tell what uh... louis what omit me

what what people don't know what i get your point you can say if you I would Lewis would omit me What people You Go ahead guys What's omitted from the list of audition building was blown up by omit God, it got stepped on Bobby. All I'm saying is, all I'm saying is, this is, the comedy environment is a very blue collar environment, right? It's very fucking accurate. It can tell by your outfit. People know, thank you. People know what is what. There's no mystery to this business.

Everybody knows what everybody's got, right? We even know Joe Liss has herpes. We know everything how we got it How we got it? So let's just say that you had the career you have now, right? And you had a 9-11 Porsche career, right? Would you drive it to the comedy cell? No, you wouldn't I'll answer it like car And you wouldn't I wouldn't drive any car in the city the answer's no right job my car in the city today Yeah, yeah, I could just bought a new pilot a Honda pilot Very nice nice to celebrate his pilot. I want to hear what the point he's making. Yeah

Yeah, I like it extraordinary things that don't fit with your career Okay, but Jim and then not good question, but this is I'm this is the wait a second. No, I'm glad you sticking up for yourself You knocked out a rubah shit out of you and now you get your New York Spillin out. Exactly. Good for you. Fucking boss. I'll do your ponytail right now. Undo it. I'm fucking doing it. No, get on your horse. Yeah. There you go.

Oh Jesus Christ. Now, right throughout town yelling the red coat they're coming. Holy shit. Look at that. No, no one wants to fuck. Now go. So, socially, Bobby and I were sitting there having soup before the show. Yes. And we were bullshitting about a Ruba

I was I said how often do you go and I said I go on every month and he goes you're kidding He goes how the fuck did I go I just love it I go now blah blah blah so he brought it up on the air That's what the fuck happen. I didn't say they're go hey everybody. I go to a Ruba listen Fabio I cannot I'm drawing it long for a charity thing You're walking down the beach wearing like white linen? I do a ton of charity. I'm like, I'm doing some sounds of lambs.

You know what my goal is, yeah, I'm gonna blow this one fine. I'm fucking alive. To be incredibly wealthy and to be incredibly philanthropic and give it all over. What charity are you gonna give it to? Widow's peak? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And you still cut it because not long enough yet, but you It was about that long Meanwhile the kids are dying and your hair is just fucking I love your hair. I think it looks great on you and I'd love to go to a rubble with you and And fucking walk the beach while that blue on the on the What charity takes hair? What charity takes like

Lots of love and lots of pan-team beautiful lights, but the point is you grow the hair long and then in the process It's not just about the hair you get people to donate money to kid the kids Okay, so you're a good person. Yeah, I'm tons of time. Why are we giving you so much shit? You're good guys everyone's fucking I knew I smelled something once again What there's a Jew in here? There's an illegitimacy to you fucking bring the German chap. What's illegitimacy? What okay? So how long have you been growing this hair, but almost you stop fucking look good right there now now does the Charity in stock fucking with it's not gonna look good no matter what you do

No, it has to get to be like ten inches long. And I don't wanna shave my head. Why are we being so, why that was just mean, y'all? What? You're in a fucking coffin. It's a fucking American morning show. And you're being mean, okay? You're a good morning American. He kept messing with it and tried to make it look good

and I'm like, I just think he should let it be. Can I just let it be? Yeah, just, cause he is on this morning show. Do you get any shit or blowback at all about the shit you post online or your videos or any of that? No, just that I'm on this podcast. Really? Do you like, you see? or blow back at all about the shit you post online or your videos or any of that. No, just that I'm on this podcast.

Really, can I give you a shit? You say some stuff on there and that cage animal that's a regular on that show. Really? I'm rubbing in the cage. Every time he talks, it sounds like a cage rattle. Do you really get shit because of Lewis? No.

No, I'm just kidding. Well, I'm just guessing into the future. As soon as our friendship is found out, they're gonna be like, like well after we named this episode I prepare you're stepping over the line like fucking K-boss Remember that episode really Lewis you don't know the line. Yeah, I know where it is. It's always behind me That's my wife. Here's my wife. Let's tell her I her I said, hey, hey, you're on the show, baby. What's up?

Hello, everyone. How are you doing? I hung up on it. You know what? Hello, everyone. You're going to get in trouble now, because she's calling because you're sick. Oh, yeah, I forgot.

That just bugged me. That's going to go over great. She's doing that buggy, but she's going to be like, all right, well, fuck you then. Be sick on your own. Hey, we don't have to tell her, hang up. I just said, I'll just lie to her. Let's just do it. Let's see if I can lie. Well, she listening to me. She's listening, money. She's listening be like all right. Well fuck you then be sick on your own. Hey, we don't have to tell her hang up I just said I'll just lie to her. Let's just let's see if I can lie. Well, she listen to listening money She's a listen to this show. She's fucking a human

She's a He's only she was in a rubber right now I did baby. I didn't hang up on you the phone hung up. I'm sorry. Yes, he did Yes, he did Check out something for you I'm sorry. Yes, he did Yes, he did Go pick up something for you at the pharmacy. Oh, it did though Yeah, they sell it fucking listen to him code where he's actually code work. Okay, what else? That's it. You you have a fever. I do. I have it's a hundred doesn't have a fever jungle fever What's wrong?

Baby, how's the baby He's good. He's fine. How's his fever is his fever down? Yeah, he has fever hasn't come back up All right, baby if I if I could take you to a rubble once a month for nine days would you do it? She's like I already got it Ray Allen hang on For nine days would you do it she's like I already got it Ray Ellen hang on Do you know Ray? If I could take you to a rubble once a month I would she for nine days how out for a week seven days would you do it? Of course I would Bobby, but you would can't afford that we stop stepping on my wife. I'm sorry you fucking asshole

I'm sorry What What What? What? Chipping murdered? Dawn, yes you want you want you want. I said yes, why not? I'm going to give you Ray Allen's number. You guys are going to stop hooking up. I'll talk to you later.

Who's also giving up development deals? Baby, did you ever see the movie Sam Adams? I was going to have a good night. How about late night with Ray Allen? How about... night with Ray Allen? How about? Late night. Sixteen episodes. Hank Azera was guest. You know what?

You know that thing I was in paid six every week for about a year because of that show. And I used to call you out on that too. Remember? I used to fucking read. And I used to explain to you, James, you see when some people like your work, they will write about it on a regular basis. There's no true. You told me that you had a hook up

and you used to call the public. No, I had a publicist. Yeah, but and publicists get you pressed. That's true. And then after a while, the guy, the people who wrote the column, just liked my work and they would fucking write about it. Raymond, listen to this. Right. This is what happens.

He ran man. Every week. Right. Call me Raymond. That's Ray. I don't care. Every week. We have one person.

I'd be reading, I'd be reading page six, right? And I'd see like all these consistent stories like Oh, that's a celebrity. That's a celebrity. That's a celebrity And then I'd see and at such and such fucking obscure party Ray Ellen said I just fucking ate a cookie No, that's not that you're And I was like hang on fucking Steve from the comedy cell is not in page six, you know, fucking why would he be he's not he's not exactly Steve from the comedy cell is not in pay six, you know, fucking why would he be he's not he's not exactly That's the fucking I had a show where I had pretty big names on every week I think and that makes you sort of not famous, but you're in a different

He's fucking signed the Constitution, bro When you have exchanges with Sean Connery and Mariah Care those people, you might get a little press. Exchanges, I like that. Exchanges. Ooh, exchanges. He didn't have one famous friend like you, John Mayer. He had a bunch. Not even first of all, if you're saying it's all worse. This is not famous, I'm angry.

Are you friends with Jeff Ross? Just can you tell him to look better? We're just gonna close it with a falting. Right, he's melting. He looks like he's melting. Oh my god. You've had exchanges He really looks like he looks like you exchanges with Mariah. Remember those trolls as a kid used to spin on the top of a pencil Yeah, that's what fucking Ross looks like his hair Little long little stretch. I'll take that bandana

Wow, why don't you have a joke that I remember go about wish trolls. There you go Bring it back so you can get funny. It's one of my first jokes ever What about wish trolls talk about how it looked like the wish troll what did what are the wish troll do to make you shove the pencil up As I asked and you would have been gonna be well. I was gonna go Good not he passed that to Bobby fucking kudos to Bobby. Thanks. Thanks Alexander Hamilton running that's his favorite candy bar kudos. So here's two kudos. That's given out of kudos in fucking 20 years, you fucking old ass. Who gets excited about an old joke from 10 years ago?

I remember me of a joke that I used to do that wasn't that good back then. Fucking uncreate and fucking poor Lincoln. Here's a deal. Ray Allen, James Smith does not like you. No, on the contrary, on the contrary Oh, Yannis is really fucking spat everywhere Oh, literally, I just got a text from James Smith there on the graph

It said, fuck, fuck this for fuck On the contrary, on the contrary The reason that I keep him so accountable I like him so much and I want to make sure that he doesn't misrepresent himself so ferociously as he has Lucky me, lucky day. I have not missed, I have been a thousand percent truthful today. I'm not saying anything that was the point. By the way, when your ray gets the jewelier he sounds.

Let me tell you something, everything I've said has been factual. I go to a rumba once a month, right? I was in, it's been factual. I go to a ruba once a month, right? I was in the papers. Every day, go check a micro-facin' library. Page six, since 1983, I was there. I love right, but I know a guy who knows between his illegitimate haircut, his fuckin' trips to a ruba

and his self-promotion in Page Six. Uncelicited. It is, if you call them up and tell them what you did, that self-promotion. Are you out of your fucking mind? There's a limited amount of space in that thing. They write what they want to write. Hey, I had it not, Rapier.

You have got fun, man. I said, with my riot carry, I had it exchanged. Me, my riot carry. Lino Reggie, we had a few exchanges. Bond Joby on a couple of occasions, we had an exchange. It was me and the Sikku brand Tim Gunn. They write about you if you have an exchange. If you had an exchange with Lino Ritchie, you'd be in page 6 too.

How many times I have to tell you we had an exchange Sorry at the post doesn't want to write about your fucking IBS Two-zone Everything is amazing to me Round seven you're shitting on the fact that I do something that other people don't do I don't give a fuck what other people do I go to a rubric as I enjoy my life. I grow my hair because I wanted to do something charitable He gets 25 feet on the deals because he enjoys that.

You get what? He gives himself development deals. Yeah, pass that right down. I don't know why I don't know what the fuck you're talking about with that. I have. I should I didn't know I needed to bring all my my my contracts and legal portfolio. Look, I believe you about your exchanges. Okay, listen. Right. I know why I said the word exchanges, that's how it's like. Right.

Hmm. I did not expect this out of James. I expected it out of Lewis. I got it myself, maybe even angry scopo. But it's been Miss Ray, I really actually really do like him. James, we can tell James. James is comfortable around me. I mean, I'm comfortable with someone. Yeah. I really, really like him James. Yeah, we can tell James James comfortable around me I'm comfortable with someone yeah, I really really like the guys a piece of shit liar I'm so glad you don't like me

Really not I'm a man here that I'm what it offended me. Madam is a lawyer. He would have thrown you right under the No, he would have said reality that's what he does for all you a Denet him in fact So all right, let's move on between the hatred has to be written on the genuine gun a good friend that's it i've been jay for a james i would try to help us best i could and he has

helped me to good person we've all helped you hug him you get him on the late night i've had a you did a set on my fucking talk to you like that was on late. You're not. L-A-T-E-N-E-T. Hang on, Jack-Hack. Hang on, Jack-Hack. Who was on your episode?

You were on his show. He put you on the show and you're mocking it. I'm not mocking him. I'm making sure that he doesn't fucking me, Mr. Represents himself is in a public. Trying to keep him real. Show him my real. He's making sure of that because there's a lot of people at home that want to know. What the truth by the way Bobby, I'm the host of the new gong show.

That's not my party. Yeah, but it got that. It's a live Broadway version. That's the holiday in the area. Hey wait a minute shut up. That was good. Stop talking over people. You're about to call Giannis Lewis because he does. You're fucking lost. Giannis Lewis because he does it fucking lost you Bobby Bobby Bobby what do you want for me? It's time for another episode There's no one

I'm too much to fucking Jews I'm with people They just hopped open with my change. I fucking hey Jews and I fucking love baggage I mean I hate baggage. That's mean episode's called kite faggot nigger. I'm gonna fucking suck you up dick until you for fucking ass for an apology I don't care Jesse May's fucking Pete Davidson you piece of shit That's true Oh shit really And you thought I gave you a hard time. Fuck it.

Yeah. Here's a deal. Y'all. So let's move on to Y'allness. Let's move off of poor rap. All right. Now, get out. I'm gonna fucking get it. I like this. Everyone's just cocking their guns. You were talking about it. Papam! Papam! Papam! Before we leave, right. How often do you go to a Rubah? I Well, I want to go to Ruby I have a bunch of the shit away with the locals he was he was on he did a set on my fucking show I was at a great time and he got paid to be on my show much on the torch. I don't remember Fifty-fifth if you five don't enough to go to a ruby every fucking month. That's for sure I don't remember to pay but it was it was the guess was it was it was Bells and rink as area is Richard Bellsroom Paul can I ask you a question right fuck can I ask you a question? It's good. I have to admit something to you and it might hurt your feelings

I'm bulletproof go ahead at this point and he was great as the host All right around long time ago. We're all hanging out me you I don't know who else whatever. What was this? What roughly years ago back when I for the 90s? Yeah bells. No 90s. Maybe yeah, maybe 90s early 2000 Right this is gonna be condison and we we fucking left and we you will leave and you you kind of was you You were trying to pick up the chick. I was trying to pick up where were we we had some bar We picked up night nurses like these traveling nurses This is not gonna go well. I don't know okay. Go on. I don't remember this and you we you kind of being I'll be honest with you since I mean that was the only time you were kind of a dick to me, but you're a little

dicky, but I get it. Really? I get it. Look, man, when you're talking about picking up pussy or getting a chick, you kind of, you got to, you know, you're pissing on your tray. You know, this is, I'm going to try to get this and, you know, raise lethal too when he's around the girl. He is fucking lethal.

Well, it's the only time I've ever seen it. This is the only time we're, I don't know. So anyways, we, I'll be honest, we, you were really, I don't know. So anyways, we are your skin. I'll be honest, you were like, I gotta go do a spot and we were like, all right, we're gonna go here. And we went to another place. And I said, I go, this, I said,

Drey will find us and you found us. Oh, really? You went with the girls from another bar, you mean? And then you walked in, I don't know how you found us. Like, we didn't tell you where we were going. Oh, really? And you walked in to the bar we then you walked in. I don't know how you found us. Like we didn't tell you where we were going. Oh, really? And you walked in to the bar we were at. And you didn't even acknowledge it.

You said, what's up guys? And we were like, what the fuck? Wow. How did that? How did you do that? I really don't. I don't remember this. It was one of the 15 years.

It was almost fucking. I thought it was. It's gotta be 50 years. I was scared. Like when you walked in, I went, he's gonna stab me like we're gonna have to He hunts vampires you think you can find Van Helsing God damn repeat

This repeating Aussie really makes you want to throw something out of it. It was a good one That I never heard welcome to show business right is very good what if you put right in a room with a woman he is ruthless yeah how was that dick if I just showed up at the bar do you think we're trying to lose you douchebag it was fucking he was trying to avoid saying it but yeah they were trying to fucking lose

oh I said it really I love the guy I love the guy I was being gentle it would try to lose you a fucking douchebag But I love the guy guys the really genuine person you come walking in me had to get really out I don't remember this is 50 probably 15 years ago late 90s how the fuck we told you we were going to this bar Who else we went to that bar and you fucking showed up? It was me, you. He's still trying to pick the girls. There was some girls, but it was a night nurse. There was a bunch of night nurses.

I'm not nice. There was a traveling nurses. There was a, they were gorgeous girls. Where did the seller hookers? And they, they lived somewhere for five or six months, and then they moved. And it was you and the couple girls, and he found you? There's three girls.

What happened at the end of the night? Well, maybe he just asked, like, did you see a guy who doesn't belong with three-hoc girls? Did we hook up with a girl? No. What happened at the end of the night? Well, maybe he just asked like did you see a guy who doesn't belong with three hot girls Did we hook up with the girl? No, you didn't know that King Kong Bunding and three hot girls You see a guy who doesn't belong with three hot girls walking this way. No, that was when I was gorgeous I was I was fucking shredded Is that what you had your your head? This is gorgeous Bobby goes from to a tongue-bunding to John Lik was on over

I I Thought I want to fucking her out a window on the second floor. You really? Yeah, I made her I go I was so sick I was fucking so many brags at that time. I just go listen. Let's do this and James do you believe it? I opened a window and People walking by and I fucked her out the window wow as so she was getting fucked and I was just giggling because people looking up Like yeah, so anyways what the fuck is that? I love that and she's like oh god. Oh god. Yeah, I was back when skinny Bob was wait. What straight was this? This was over by the styverson projects. Jesus. Yeah right across right over there. Yeah, I'm really

Yeah, good work. Yeah, no window like I'd be thinking fuck what if she falls? Yeah, not me I had that fucking window open. She was Filipino. Perfect round fucking B cups. Bird 36 Bs. They were just fucking beautiful. She was a little fat up top, but nice. Like a fire escape that kept her. I didn't touch her. That's the window. Her whole body, you're just a kid.

Somebody could like tall, could probably jump. It was New York City apartment. The first floor. It was no second floor, but you could kind of jump up and why were you fucking out of the window did you know you money or something I just wanted to fuck out the window you're making a point or something now I just was fucking sick of fucking no I was just fuck let's fuck out I get that I get like the public like you want people to catch you I've done a lot of I used to do that all the time I just get blown I used to love to get ahead in the park

during the blackout I I saw for someone in Washington. I was very shook Why? You turned the black out? Washington Square Park. That was dead-stay in here some of the fucking blackout. His couple told me the other night that they enjoy going to this place called Tripese, which I've never been to. The sex club. He's a sex club. Lettrapese. And they have sex. They don't swing apparently swinging it's a swing club is that right? Yeah Anyway, these two do not swing but they really enjoy an audience. They love I couldn't think of anything worse than an audience

I would love I get that I wouldn't mind an audience of women I don't want I don't want to do in front of guys of women that would be the what I'd be great Did have sex with a woman in front of other women? Dude, I like to get a blowjob in front of her friend watching that's how I was the love of Success I was like a girl's blow my friends in front of me. Yeah, I get it I used to love it. I used to set it up with both sides so they both didn't know I'd be like dude This is what's gonna happen you're gonna walk in just go along with it And then when we're done you got to leave cuz you're gonna weirder out and I tell her I go

I love that we'd set up for weeks. I love that I'd fucking make her blow me and you tell me that she's gonna blow my friend and suck his dick And and then he come over and fucking she'd blow him I think I gotta start coming on this show as an alias But I don't fucking use my And me and me going to a rubas more far fetch and this is fucking great But I can I can answer Robert's question as to how he found you he has just in it I'm a Mistakeable ability to pursue women. I watch him at the street.

Dude, it was the weirdest thing. I apologize. If I did something rude, I apologize. I mean, it's so long ago, I don't remember. Thank you very much. No, it's dead now, but what flipped me out. He's on the right track. And I said, Jesus, he has a grip.

I saw you, and when we left, I go, he's gonna find us. They're like, how? I said, this mother, because I have a six sense. Do they put them in the cow and how? He's the man. I got money in my You're being a That's very found Filipino Jews Here's angry I got money in my pocket you flip one of them

I didn't hook up to the other Per comic whoever I don't know He gets so much pussy doesn't even remember that night anyway I want to I fuck Ray 15 years ago Ray Ray Look buddy everything's water under the Orooban bridge The natural bridge And a robot anyways Janus you have this fucking Buddy everything's water under the a rubin bridge The natural bridge Anyways, Janice you have this fucking my name's on yeah, yeah, Janice from now on it just call me George

Why you just be one of your fake characters? How you doing? So what the fuck I don't want to you brother? I'm I'm I did you make the right move? Is this the best thing you've ever done? It is it is a member we talked about I called you when I was in Atlanta people to know yeah, no it was the right move It was what did you do you honest I I picked up me and my girlfriend broke up and I picked up you but Wow, you allowed to make holes on the ship. Yeah, he can once in a while. No, just press buttons and look fat And my look fat. I mean from the waist down press buttons and look at that Leave the jokes to the people who get paid for them

Press the buttons you intern thing I have a girlfriend still I have a girlfriend still I have 14 of them so Too far that wasn't even funny. He's like hey, fuck you. I got more so talk to me about this Tell everybody what the show is kid and Chris your body looks great. I love you. You know, yeah What's going on with the she cheated? All people what it is You don't mean Pete Davidson According to Lewis

Do we fucking I tell you that he texted me? Yeah, you told the last episode Smoke so much weed you can't remember this I haven't smoked potten about 18 hours. Okay, so what the fuck is that? I haven't smoked I stopped smoking pot. Yes. Yesterday was my last day for 18 hours. For a while. Yeah, 18 hours. I hate people. How long is a while? I'm going at least until I do the cruise with Papa Roach.

Yeah, that's a good one. And then you'll get high. I mean, cruise. If you're hanging out with Papa Roach, you're gonna get a little high, right? No. So yeah, I listen, it's like he's a real grandfather. So here's the deal.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. So you, you listen, it's like he's real grandfather. So he was, so you, you move to Miami, you get this killer apartment. Yeah. And now you're on this morning show on Fusion, Fusion, which is 108 in New York, if you have Fios. Fios, cable visions on RC and cable vision. And that's how you know it's not a good network when you have to list all the networks that it's on Well, they're not on time Warner. No, no, it just launched a couple months ago. They're rolling out How's it going? It's going great. I love how they're both my co-anchors. It's really great. You love it. Yeah, I love it

It's fun. It's fun. It's like TV boot camp. You know, I know in a lot not a lot of people are watching now But it's like you know, it's a good experience to learn how to be on TV I would they gonna how are they gonna get it more people watch? What's got, what, what, what, what, I mean, it's Disney and Ray Allen's gonna pick it up. You think your public says to talk about it, right? I was like, I mean, you know, I'm putting on page six. You're doing a charity for two people. Have a couple of exchanges with them.

Who are your co-hosts? Pedro Andrade and Mariana Tensio. She's beautiful. What is this Spanish thing? It's well, all the big networks, all the big media outlets are going after millennials, which is people who were born in 1980 or after, and it just so happens in that group, one out of four millennials are Latin. So, the biggest growing population in America.

Okay, so having one out of three be fucking Spanish. What? Oh, everybody's Spanish except for you. No, no, he's Brazilian. He's Brazilian, that's Spanish. No, it's not Spanish. That's not Spanish. It's not even a Spanish.

Look, if you're from Boston, it's Spanish, right? He's from fucking down there. He's Puerto Rico. It's a city in fucking Mexico. First of all, guys, if you know any history, I've been there fucking twice. You've never been there. To Brazil? They speak Portuguese. I go every month. They spit. fucking Mexico. First of all guys if you know any history I've been there fucking twice you've never been there to Brazil they speak

Poggio every month they spit Nine dice But it's it's South America. They're pretty much they'll come they were conquered by Spain and fuck no, but they weren't they were All right, who were they conquered by I think Portuguese no they will fucking span is South American fucking fucking they conquered by i think portuguese no they will fucking spanish south american fucking uh... fucking uh... uh... experiment people crystal clear my answer you're talking about that well he's Brazilian she's been as well in the spanish man i thought i'll spanish what's

the show called it's called the morning show infusion it's basically good morning in america it's different that though it's a little different it's it's like so it's a little faster it's quicker it's different than that though. It's a little bit different, so it's a little faster, it's quicker, it's almost like Max and magazine. We do news packages though, yeah. Yeah, why is it out of Miami? It's just where they built the whole new,

they build a huge new studio, like a hundred million dollars. What the fuck is up with this tech guy? What tech guy? There's some boring people on the show. I think everyone's great on the show. How do you, how do you say, oh, I got this, there's no longer a real issue. How do you say the show? Hang on the show. I think everyone's great on the show. How do you, how do you see your finances? No longer on the real issue.

Robert, how do you see the show? Hang on one sec. I watch it. I'm a fan of fucking y'all. No, he's got vios. You got vios. I watch it in the morning. What channel is that file?

108. Should I get vios instead of time one? Yes. Here's a thing. Really? What? Here's a thing. Shut up about your stupid fucking vios.

You dumb fucking questions you always ask. He's just a fucking dumb Aussie with questions. Stop fucking making us live your life for you. Make a decision you fucking long hair, hippie. Sorry, I love James. I love James, one of the favorites. Working class heroes. He's a good friend.

He's the worst. Well, I shit, I get the fuck you. I look at, I like to show, Yannis. I do. Thank you. I like the three hosts. I've liked, I like to, I, um, I'm, I'm telling you this, Sniffy Rassel. Oh, oh, Jesus. Lewis. What are you doing? She's so hot, dude. Come on. You fucking Christ, Lewis. What, Yannis? You lead with that?

Are you gonna throw this? You would, asshole? You wouldn't fucking sniff her asshole. You're telling that on the show. Y'all, I am not editing this. So, do, listen. I'm doing the right thing. This fucking asshole is gonna about to get you to step off the line. I just called him out on being a fuck.

First of all, he's a zoo animal. So, you can't hold him responsible. Just throw him a banana and try to preoccupate. There's only a sniff assholes. I hope you do. So, you're not gonna sniff her asshole. Would you blow the guy? Would you blow him? Pedro's one of the nicest guys I've ever met. He's great. I love it. They're both very smart and fun. The show's perfect. I love everybody I work with and

Everything's going perfect I could What do you want me to talk to you about? What would you like me to ask you about? I can't about that, you know, let's talk about the show, but let's ask you. Yeah, let's What's what's interesting? What is your favorite part about the show? Have you ever seen her naked? Look at the dress room. Luis the doors open a little bit. Stop. Luis. You're gonna get Yannis fired. He's not gonna get fired for On the point he says here's a deal. He doesn't get toannis fired. He's not gonna get fired for answering on point. Listen, now for some, he says. Here's the deal.

He doesn't get to come back here. It's all gone for him. You understand? Okay. Okay. We're going to do a re-bought when he says down. He comes back here. There's an empty bar for, okay?

He doesn't get on the carousel. He's got spots in LL. He's fucking dogs gone and everything's over here. It's okay. All he has to make it. You understand? I got nothing here, right? He has to make it. Do you understand? I got nothing here right now. He has to make it.

Yeah. He's gonna get bumped by fucking Jesse May at the stand. Oh you. You know, you know, just blink twice if you've seen her naked. Lewis, I don't know what you're doing. He blinked twice. He did not. Me and Lewis are different people.

He's got different questions. Yeah, he's a fucking animal. We settled down. He's trying to fucking, you know, he's got this new morning show. Which is fucking you. You're on the today's show. Good morning, America. Like I said, it's good.

You promoted your thing on GMA? It was good. We're on by ABC. I hit Ray Allen now, that was the moment where it started being called the GMA, like he's an insider. It's called fucking GMA, it's turned on the TV, it's a GMA.

It is called GMA. God, you guys are giving raise on educating You guys are giving real and hard time for saying anything You know I really have to do some direct in a movie called the Latin Legends of comedy that I sold the 20 century Oh bullshit made No, police you know that I co-starred in a movie called killing Cinderella with Jessica cabs I say my not my obviously not because you've got a fucking tell us but the point is you wonder how I how I make a living I work hard I hustle I create shit. Well that would have been good an hour dumb fucking irritable baffle

All right, let's get back to the morning. Are you guys gonna go have soup later talk about you to me? Yeah, no, it was great to be on GMA my favorite part of the show is probably Just learning man. I'm learning a lot. I'm working with journalists. Everyone I work with smarter than me. And everyone on all the producers, everybody's like, is that Adi? Is that Adi?

It's just a great experience. It's a really, really great experience. And I'd like to say every producer does a great job online because it's through the process. Take us how did you get it? What happened? Give us the process. They came after me.

They saw me and they thought I was funny. Where did they see the research? Where did they see it? I think they found me through more research, I believe. Really? Yeah, I think through that. They actually thought they were hiring more research. Who's the little, the little point? Did they think you Latino no, no, they did obviously they did full research army called me for a chemistry read

I sat down with a couple different hosts and people So so they so they hosted they pick weren't there original ones? No, no, no, the what do you mean the ones that they picked for the auditions? Yeah There was a bunch of people who audition wasn. Wasn't that many. They chose people. And I think there was just a few that didn't get it. Do you know the other people who auditioned that you beat? No, I was the only comedy guy. They were actually wondering how comedy was gonna work

on that show. So they brought me in just thinking, well, we're all still wondering, man. Will he work on this or not? So I was, I wasn't up against anybody. I was up against will I work on this show? Okay. Yeah. The opportunity for yourself.

I guess so. I mean, they, let's not give him too much. Not too much. Who's, um, who's Marisa? Marisa is a character that I do. They got popular. I have a couple characters. They got popular.

Yeah. And she happens to be flattened. You don't know anything about fucking anybody in this room. It's a huge thing you did on this. You just got back from Australia. Exactly. Yeah, he almost died. Yeah. From that thing I gave him at the seller.

Not what I... So it's great. They have YouTube in Australia. What are you talking about? He's not his top priority to Google someone. He doesn't know. Ray, don't attack now. You're fucking an hour and a half.

You tried to play that mellow fucking clock sucker, a name man, whatever. And then you finally snap an hour and a half. So you tried to play that mellow fucking clock sucker, a name man, whatever. And then you finally snap an hour and 27 minutes in. This is on the river time. Fucking, you know, his blood sugar just went down. Fucking James Smith is finished. He's fucking depressed again, because you thought about a shitty apartment

that he's sharing with somebody. Okay, and he's got a fucking spot after fucking God free tonight. I can't believe you fucked the chick out the window. That's amazing. Now that is really, that is very impressive to me. I've done a lot of weird sexual stuff. Because like I would, I just couldn't go to that much trouble. To open a window with the fuck is the trouble. To fuck Bobby Kelly. To balance it.

I was feeling so, I mean, it's just there's a bed. Why the fuck are we here? Could it turn you on more to have people look at you fucking this? I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance.

I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance.

I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just a balance. I was just add some variety into it very minimal though. I always end up with the same two or three women What checks with decks? That's where checks with decks come in right when you want to add some variety. Oh, that's when you want to add a cock Variety that's when you want to suck something tomato tomato. Ah, why are you in New York if your show is in I am

I had a couple shows and then we're we're in reruns till the second so everyone's basically on holiday I'm the fruggy rerunner today show a couple shows and then we're in reruns till the second so everyone's basically on holiday. The fuck do you rerun a today show? That's what they're doing. Best of us. They're rerunin' it, yeah. Really? Sometimes I'm just gonna let James come on the show and just ask questions until he runs

out, which I guarantee he will raise money for fucking MS. It'll just be a telephone. But he's a meaty car in a face show? Why don't I, that's how you get people to like you. It is like that, you know? Ask questions. Like the Daily Show. I love that. I know that. I know he's a phase show. Why do I, that's how you get people to like you. It is like that, you know, ask questions. Like the Daily Show. I know that. I know that.

I know he's a fucking free, he's a really good book. Can we continue to do two conversations at once? He says, Yannis doesn't shut up when shit's going on. I was asked the question, and I was like, yeah, but don't answer until I'm done. Jesus Christ, I'm not you a fucking sidekick asshole. This is my show. That's why Yannis is the sidekick. That's not fucking sidekick asshole. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, my. You're right. Oh, yeah. I get the concept really good. Perfect. Monday through Friday.

Monday through Friday. What time you got to wake up to do that? We're moving to prime time, thankfully. But for now, I've been waking up at 4pm. What's prime time? It's almost inappropriate name for a prime time show. The morning show. Yeah, it's prime time.

We're going to change the name. Prime time, 7pm. So I wake up at 4am tomorrow? Right now, I wake up at 4amm. So wake up before the morning. Work up before it. Right now, work up before get to the studio. Five. We get that it really cut into your rubit time, wouldn't it? Yeah, I know. Talk about it's 1 p.m. and a rubit at 5 a.m. Actually, you know, there's no time change, you know that. There's no time change. He's still excited about his fucking. He's way of his hand like a king.

Which just proves my point that it was from a point of arrogance that he brought it up. I go to a rubber. I brought up the son of a... I heard Bobby loves a rubber. So there's the Jewish male and again. I brought it up to Robert because he's... Someone told me that Robert enjoys a rubber. So I sound like Robert.

I said, Bobby, nice to see you. I heard you like a rubber. And we started talking about a rubber room and then he brought it up on his show and as respectable guest I answer the fucking question right on Fucking hippie to like never she angry Jew Hey The great unwashed don't know what time it is in a robo It's too fucking dope. No, you still I don't know what to do Robert. There's a lot of cameras in here Robert Bobby. Bobby. I confuse Bobby. Bobby What are you doing? Is that me? Do I say Bobby? Bobby a lot? Yeah fucking stupid yet?

Jesus Christ Who's the most interesting interview? Bobby's dying Bobby's dying are you okay? All right He's to take some more bumbleberry Everyone's watching at home and the podcast will continue holy shit Bobby's thing is like an elephant Oh my god my head almost exploded on the one. Who's the most interesting guest you've had on Good Morning, whatever it is?

Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon.

Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon Rayon. Rayon Rayon Rayon. a character host producer, creator. And I have that hotline, my show.

I know, and he is the treat me again. I stand by the fact that I love Rayal. You gotta give him some slack. He's a little better man. He's, he almost died. Who, no, who is, who's you? We had Tyler Perry at that that was interesting. Don't I say it interesting?

You guys, that was a good one. You guys missed it because he got a thermometer in his mouth. Yeah. Oh, Bobby. Actually, interesting Ken Burns, because i'm a huge fan we had ken burns the documentary maker on that was great and that's actually uh... this is the hairdresser to uh... just a simpson

no ken burns the documentary maker yet but he also makes he does hair that's a ken burns it does i know that's kind of no no no but it all poppy and uh... that can flow He also makes he does hair. There's a Ken Burns. It does I know that's Ken. Oh, no, no, no, Bobby. Oh, Bobby. That's Ken Floby. No, Bob. I'm sorry. Oh, B-Boy. Robby, you're sick. It's okay.

I'm sorry, fans. Ken Paves is just the best. Oh, Michael Jordan, that's the guy who... Teller suits, devil, flicker. Fuck. Yannis and his shiny jeans. Fuck you and your shiny Miami jeans. Ken Burns is pretty well known.

What documentary did he do? What documentary? Like 50. He's done, like what's the most popular? The one that I want to show in. Jack Johnson, the Civil War, World War II. Baseball. Baseball.

All the great, you know the Ken Burns effect? They named it effect after him. We're going to picture moves like that across the stream yeah what are you railing now that's called it a lot of exchanges with Ken Burns I like I like with the cellapilot to get that exchange wow all around the room someone to something fact correct Chris

Chris get shit on my hair go ahead whatever you want Chris literally had nothing because I wasn't paying attention Sorry, I was more at the cameras. I think that was a very preoccupied zone. I was in the zone for the camera So do you like living down in Florida? I like living down there, man. No, do you love it? Huh? Do you love it? I love it man. Miami's a great city. How many days a week do you swim? I don't swim that much I got a nine days a month. You swimming you have swimming your building? I swim 19 days a month. Nine days every month is just not good. This is not gonna end.

The rub is the gift that doesn't stop giving. Oh, you know I swim about 19 days out of the mug. Play a lot of poker when I can't. I even had a holiday by myself at Buffalo Wild Wings. I had a great time. Just a fancy arm. I think you were in the local paper, weren't you? Yeah, I was out, yeah, I'm paste six down there.

My Emmy Herald had a couple of exchanges with Pitbull, 305 Celebrity, Gloria, Stefan, couple of exchanges. Ah! Ah! You're good, yeah. You're honest, you are good. Oh, Jesus. So where in Miami are you?

I live in Brickle, in Miami. In Brickle. It's a nice city. It's a very nice area. Yeah, Miami's kind of like New York in the 20s, man. What? It's like New York in the 20s, like it did. So I'm trying to convince yourself that you're gonna be back in New York eventually.

How do you know what New York was like in the 20s? Well, in the sense that it was a boom. You ain't doing this. You ain't doing this, booming. that it was a bulldozer booming. Apparently you did, look at your hair. Jesus Christ. It looks like he's in a dengs of me. What is he a substitute teacher?

We just keep fucking spitball, pal, pal, pal, pal. So, it doesn't even bother me from Bobby. I just don't like it from that side of the room. It's smitty and the guy, I fucking wanted the blosio's kids over here. Wow. What's that? What shade are you? Oh.

Oh. Oh. Lewis would have shot to the head. Yeah, come as Lewis. What's his back? What did he give down? I love that he called them the blosio because it's, it's, it's, like, sounds fat, too. Yeah. I like that he called them the blasio because it's it's like sounds fat to like he said what shater you Ray Ellen's fight we ruined your next to Rubatrip

wow you're gonna have to leave from you're gonna have to stay for like a month he's gonna be in his head every time he boards the plane should I be down this is what I hope I hope a fan from the show is in a Rubat and sees you and just starts fucking taunting you. Fucking rumbling. Oh, great. I mean, we're so happy. Not gonna happen. So, here's no chance.

That's a dream that won't come true. Anyway. We, yeah, we got it, it's midi. So, I think, I think. Yeah, it's what's the other time, like. Hey, I want to hear Smitty's laugh. What's the tail like? Is that what you're asking Kelly? The tail's pretty good. Yeah, okay, I'm fucking goes outside

You hear that Jesse if you're listening the tail's great down there. He's gonna lots of tail You're not you're not you're working too much working too much man. You're not you're actually working too much I'm trying to take this year to just really grind you come back here to what you palette Exactly right has fun Santa made a lot you're on TV come on yeah, but I'm really not really I mean are you getting a is he gonna? Is he gonna fuck is he gonna fuck maids that live in Miami? I would that watch the show About the windows of the rooms You fuck about the windows of the rooms they clean. Yeah, well you're trying to fucking

Dice clean windows. Are you gonna fuck the millennium? Whatever they are millennials? Millennials and wink at them at the same time. I hate that you were in one board Gonna fuck the Spanish Brazilians. Yeah, can you get on stage down there? Can you go like by the clubs down there? You know, it's kind of nice to there's not a lot of rooms down there But it's kind of nice to go down there and like not have to deal with being on a lineup with 15 other beasts You know like you can just it's kind of nice. it's nice break from New York where everybody's like, You see the comments suck down there? I was doing it on a scale.

It's the way with bombing down there. That's what it's saying. Ah! Yeah, this is completely unaccountable down there. Yannis is fucking act flies. Yannis, Yannis, Yannis crushes in Miami. Yannis is percentage run up to 90% Yeah, this is a basting Miami. That's awesome. Oh my god. It's not you know

There's only like two three rooms a week guys not a lot of our but he's bound on the road allowed on the weekends So I still get to the road. Yeah, so what do you do you Technically, I have Friday. How hot is it to fly with a wig and women's car? People think you're like a bank robber or a man of mystery. Is it Monday to Friday? It's Monday to Friday, but my contract's technically Monday through Thursday. So if I'm in town, I will do the show Friday, but I don't have to. If I have a road road, I can go. So this is another.

Who do something they don't have to do what do you mean? Like if you don't because I love it's being on television Ray Allen would if I'm in town Would why we have to be on TV if it's contrary to say you had to be there you wouldn't show up It helps his career. Yeah, probably beyond James. Maybe that's why you're dying. I care about the show I wanted to do well Fuck it Lewis. He's not dying anymore Unfortunately, maybe just inside a question, unfortunately. Maybe just inside. I'm just fucking got a question to you.

Why would you want to be on TV if you didn't have it? Because, conties, if you don't, if you've got a contract that's tp like you have to show up four days, who gets up in the morning and goes, you know what? It's a brand new show. It's a brand new show. It's a brand new show. I wouldn't want to be on the thing. Coulda good show.

He's got fucking Carson and when he was fucking 70, you guys got three days away. You guys got one of you other's girlfriend energy right now. That's why he went back to Australia. I'll take the bend down. You mean he's got fucking Yannis and fucking Pete Davidson. Pete Davidson energy. What's the temperature now by the way? 98.

Did it go down? I don't know. It works. I don't think that I took, I had no. I loved it. Right, it's fucking become a bloody homie of path. I took one fucking drug for Flues five days ago, and now I'm suddenly I'm a fucking granola girl.

You have a fucking scrunchy on your wrist, and well, you know. Here's what I would say. You know what I think about what? About Miami. You know, open up now, you fucking cock. I was still talking about it. I mean, I've been trying to talk about

what we just keep, spitballs, keep going and raise. I don't know what to cock I was still talking about it. I mean, I've been trying to talk about we just keep Spitballs keep going and raise I want to know about it. I miss you. Yannis I Fucking miss you on the show. Wait, can I play me livenily? We were gonna get it to one of those we'll become in friends Yeah, you're great on the show. I still call you what wants to I know we call all in not as much as we were But I miss you and I'm glad that you're fucking having success, but you know, I do want to hear about it I want to know about it. So what's the deal tell me? Yeah, he's just human sisco sitting dead in Miami Girl, I'm gonna miss you. I love that James Smith is picking up the slack with Lewis left off Lewis is only good Kelly Jews and fucking fat fags

Triangle assholes fucking James Smith is, his fucking cutiness is perfect for a podcast. Who is, who's you click down there? Like, who do you roll with? We work so much at all. If you say you work hard again, I'm gonna fucking stab you. You don't get any pussy because you're

working so hard, you work the days you don't have to work. And you don't have any friends because you're always working for the fucking job of about working. We get it. You like your job, you got a friends because you're always working for the fucking job about working we get it you like your job you got a break you're gonna be famous. You're gonna be famous. James, you're honest. James is only gonna be impressed if you have your tongue up a fucking pop star's last hole. Oh, anything you're asking is you know what I work so much. Hey,

you know if you want some soup you know what I'm working. Yeah, you're like a fucking baseball player that's gonna But the win the world series how do you feel? Look at the team very great team both worked hard to get shot the fuck up us give us a S my my my click down there is a work no No, I got a couple it's lonely down there. You know, I mean I got I made a couple of like Commuting friends and while you're crushing. I want just crush God give to comedy Miami. He's so edgy

Leans on the microphone Just self-cully Poppins stop by the improv the other day. Yeah, he said he didn't like Obama's what are you doing? What the fuck? Oh my god, dude. He leans to the left hand He covers over the... He covers over the... How does he keep that 5 o'clock shadow all day, every day? He said, me and Ray, he keeps the ponytail

I keep the 5 o'clock shadow. It's in a Rubin secret. I'm gonna cut this f**king thing off. Do not cut that off until you f**king grow it long enough for the kids. Yeah. No, that's the problem. that off until you fucking grow long enough for the kids. Yeah. No, that's the problem. It doesn't have to be any longer for the kids. He's choosing to maintain.

I'm not gonna shave my head. That has to get a little longer. Why did it have to, you just go back to the regular head cut? I don't want to shave my head, because it's not long enough. I just get a regular haircut. Yeah, dude, he'd look like Mary Talimore if he fucking just cut the bad off. Look like that girl.

Oh, you can make it less funny if you want it. You're telling me they mind-bomb. You can bite it down. Mind-bomb and you fall that it less funny if you want to tell me Me mind bomb mind bomb mind bomb and you fall You're telling me if you donated to that now they'd say thank you, right? But it's not long enough. Yes, I measured it. He's got This is not helping my career or my social life No, no girl under 40 I like I like your hair like this and I like the highlight you put in it No girl under 40 I like your hair like this and I like the highlight you put in it From the Rubo I know oh Jesus Christ I'm gonna have a hot attack. Oh man, it's a Ruberman

I'm hoping I'm gonna keep pushing because I want fucking his stomach to get sick For a second time really want fucking him to leave the cellar Sikasin is leg cross cock suck and fucking thin body Question question machine, question. Oh, the shitting on America. He wears the same outfit, 30 fucking, fuck, I fucked up. Yeah, you wouldn't. Fuck, that's gonna be good too.

The flat tie, that's all right. The flat tie, that's all right. Listen guys, we gotta wrap this up. I look at, I don't feel well, but I came in today because I really, I couldn't not do this show because of, I was up all night, the baby got sick for the first time last night. You got a fever. Has that happened to your kid yet? Yeah, my kid's perfect. Yeah, he's

been sick. How old is your kid? Uh, it's maybe you're on time. He's close to the kid. You're a kid. Kid, what's his name again? Uh, thinking about three or four. It's him I. He's been sick. I talked to be. He hasn't been sick. He had a fever. He's never had a fever once. He's never had a fever once. He's never had a fucking fever, Bob. They had a fever because when they teed, dumb dumb, all babies get fever. I remember.

Kelly, don't remember. I remember. Stop it. I have a kid. Why are you so mad? Stop using your acting course techniques. Look at her. Don't try to stay in frame. You took Michael Key your acting course techniques look at her. Yeah, don't try to stay in frame

You took a Michael Keynes acting course align I'm looking at yours. I look at this all right. I'm bloody don't off. I'll look at this eye with this eye You know what you're talking about Kelly You have no idea You have no idea what's going on here. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down.

Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down.

Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down.

Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down. Ever had a fever really yes, well, it's stupid it changed that real quick Kelly's no cuz I remember it's he's had a fever is never to fever when babies teeth No, when babies teeth you're listen teeth come out of you I'm gonna let you finish the sentence because it's retarded. It's not all babies in the chat room Fucking thing in the chat room. Please go go get your phone off. Google fucking You fucking I'm getting Dr. Steve on the phone right now. Get the vaccine on the phone right now. I'm not I'm not taking Bobby side. I think I remember I'm talking to my temple one I'm fucking talking I have your own fucking temple. I just remember a conversation

So you were be where while he was I remember it. I remember it. It wasn't bad. It wasn't sick. He just had a fever. Oh No way Shut up shut up. She's had the sniffle. No way. Shhh. Kelly shut the fuck up. Hey Fuck you Guys shut the fuck. Hello It's his real name. this is dr. Benjamin Stevenson My baby who's better than your baby anyways, who's normal? God fever is he cute a lot?

You know the camera guy had a better baby two weeks ago. Yeah, I know, but it's Australian and his blonde nobody gives shit Your baby's your baby's not gonna look good for another eight months Nobody likes thin babies from you fucking other kind. He was born in Manhattan. Is he is he good looking? Do you got a picture of him? He is good looking. Let me see a picture of my we're gonna judge right now. Who's the cutest baby? Dude his baby Guys guys, guys, guys, guys, everyone shut up. Here we go. Dr. Steve Everybody is this gonna welcome Dr. Steve to the show. How are you? Hey, man, how's it going? Have you been to a rubah?

What does he sound like Barry can't wait? You're doing a show. Yes, we're doing a show right now. Listen I want to tell you something. What were you gonna say? Do they know about your condition? No shit Now everybody's looking at me like I've AIDS Now listen here's a deal Do Lewis is saying his baby of a year has never had a fever ever? I'm saying all babies get fevers because it was shut up shut up. So all

babies get fevers right? Yeah I mean look most babies are getting anywhere from six to twelve viruses a year and some of those viruses will carry you know a febrile illness and some walls walls you know then hook up with a baby Basically, you don't get a fever and so ends up and some other things you do get a fever with I don't trust this guy Oh ask him if it's possible one answer. What's it a docero you're right? Philosophy you dummy ask him Steve is it possible for a baby to go a year without getting a fever? I can't hear a fucking thing Good he's asking Dr. Steve.

He said, whoo-hoo! He's asking, is it possible? There's a little bit of even a havel for a baller. Oh shit. What's with the thermometer? I check it with my finger. My finger's hot. He's got a fever of its cold's normal temperature. i check it with my finger ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, yeah There's a can you know check their

Camp and you missed a fever you know the neglect Plain only last for a few hours So that's lost you've not fucking helped me Yeah, that's about it. Well, the bear is being on the glax full caravan Just not know that your kids had three or four Oh, there's a baby crying in the background right now Steve While he's drinking. Hell, who knows.

But just get sick a lot because the only thing is the first time they've been exposed to all these viruses, you know. And all these things going around that they don't have immunity to. Now, get your wife's breastfeeding. She will confirm some immunity. You have a subination virus. The disease has been exposed to already. Right. So that, you know, that will vary off.

And I mean, it's felt that that will reduce kids illness, for example. Right. My kid got respiratory, some scissor virus when he was five days old. Five days old had a temp of 105. No. And when we took him into the pediatric ICU, they were like, you know, we don't know if this kid's come naked. He's been showing what this virus is horrendous. Jesus Christ. My wife was breastfeeding. She

was the one that gave it to him. So she had these French antibodies and the kids just sailed through it two days later. We were out of the hospital. I mean was fun. Is your son named James Smith Hang on hang on one second, Dr. Steve. Hey treat my guests like you treat your guests. Okay, cool So Cass would you would you really have your fucking tech guy on to be such a sarcastic? Well the new phone is coming out. Is it really? So interesting you fucking twat I take elder bear first of all

Jefferson wants to know If black elderberry extract is good for a cold or a flu is slavery wrong Either way, what's led rule? Are you talking about is it slavery or you're talking about elderberry? If you and you have and

and and the time what's the effect the the dot the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the uh... something actually has been a fact but steve uh... doctor ill and i'll be leading him after that is adamant that uh... elderberry works you know if you think it helps you what the hell i'll talk to you later i got a question

i know if we we got the sound but i'm not given scope of another job it's had work's work are you talking to me on speaker phone or are you on calling studio or what? We're getting calling studio next week. I got it set up, but I can't. I can't set up. You have now sucks ass. Well, no, we're calling you from late net live.

Ah, ah, ah. I'll talk to you later by the day. OK, buddy. I'll talk to Steve, everybody. Next up, Belzer. After that, James Smith, who will not appreciate this in 10 years. I have Pedro Marissa vote you I have I have I have the Colin studio. It's called We're on this thing and people we have a number they can call in and it comes to the board

It comes right through here and he can just pick who's calling well people Well the person the other in here what's coming through the mics, they can hear everything. Like this as we hear it. So I just though I can't give scope of that responsibility. It looks like. What's the verdict? Is his baby having fever?

No, dude, you're wrong actually. He just said you were 100% wrong. And my baby, hold on, here's how I know my baby's never had a fever because if they get a fever, he's giving baby Tylenol. He said baby Tylenol one time because he was teething. And if a fever, we just want to deal with the're giving Baby Tylenol he said baby Tylenol one time because he was teething you never fever We just want to deal with the pain one time ever. He said baby Tylenol maybe you're neglectful. I'm not neglect You know what though Lewis? I'm gonna tell you something right now who gives a fuck about your baby. Hey

That was mean. Who are you James Smith all of a sudden? Corporate yonis in his fucking Micah I agree with Lewis on this one that was a little bit cross in line wasn't it little how do you feel about that one you know what you know what dude Look at he's used to be a man on the street down in Miami How do you feel about that fucking So tell me What's going on in the 305 today?

Is it going to be snowing? It's a great weather man. He really would. All right, well guys, we're going to wrap this up. Let me take a shot. Well, fucking right has never been more relieved. All right, I've had a fun time. I've had the show for it.

I was a regular fucking. I've been doing this show. I've been doing this for two years. It's a great show. Thanks, buddy. Well, exception of half your guess. Here's the joke. I think It's a great show. Thanks buddy. Well, exception of half your guess. Here's the idea. I think you handled yourself well.

Thanks buddy. You did. It took you around 48 minutes to get your shick out. No. But you're stomach is yet again protruding. I am hung over. Sorry. Well, he's living in a rubah most of the time.

And I'm hung over. Nobody fucking does that down in a rubah. Hey, you stomachs. I'm like, my stomach can fucking handle a stab out. Oh. Oh. Wow. Body blow. Nobody fucking does that down the room. Hey, you stomach and fucking handle the Wow body blow to the ribs. I want to ask every each one of you a question before we end First off, yeah, I'm us. Mm-hmm. Will you be back here? Are you in Miami for the next few years? I don't know. I don't know Bob. He's working so much. He doesn't they come in I don't know I don't know Bob. He's working so much he doesn't they can't answer that question.

Jesus Christ. Happening Lewis J. Gomez. Yes sir. Do you love your baby? What's his name again? James Smith. Let me call B real quick. B do I love the baby? Yeah, man. If there's any way that we pay for the flight can you get sick again? Please. For the love of God. First class of business. If there's any way that we pay for the flight can you get sick again? Please for the love of God first class or business

Every do you know how depressed everybody is when they came two weeks and a row and you were still here? I know it's brilliant. We thought you were visiting I know you came in for you Gonna play some trees a bleak trees. Yeah, like you were selling this fucking guy again with these little fucking accent Yeah, like maybe you're selling steaks or something in Yamaha shake. This kind isn't back Yeah, yeah, I're selling steaks or something in Yamaha shake this country's in back Yeah, yeah, give John man Andy Shot fired Ding ding round seven Kelly. Hey Robert if you if Ray offered to take you to Ruba With him every time and give you stage time would you suck his dick no? No, no, what Yeah! How about this?

If we went out for dinner and had a really nice time in the city He's begging And we never had nothing in a show business When you give me a kiss of the cheek at night It's a joke, Quizz kiss of the cheek Would you suck my dick just because you're attracted to me? Yep, you'd suck the honestest dick Yeah, he's the most fuckable in the restroom

What's definitely, what? That goes without that goes with that saying that's an easy one. I don't know why everyone's in shock That's an easy one Who you think you you think you honest is the fucking most fuckable and Cocking yeah, I mean look at it's the I think I'd fuck you first I would fuck you first just to shut you up Kelly's attracted to yonis's work ethic It's a lazy night. I need to fuck yonis works hard James would just question his way out of a fuck

Do you really want to fuck me why why Yeah, why would you want to do that I know you want to fuck me but why I know but here's a thing you want to fuck me and I ask myself why come now what you coming do I come now do you come now are you gonna wear that clothes when we fuck I'm just asking excuse. Excuse me. Why are you walking away? Counties. Counties. I'm back here. I'm back here.

Counties. I'm not done asking your question. Counties. I can't wait till they play that in the morning. You know how this poppac has been fired? Counties. Not that. Chris Koppel, say something funny.

Go now. You guys doing it, I'll be over. You can catch me over at the O'Hanland's pop-order in the West 20th, 3rd Street and 23 23rd Avenue Corona Queens tomorrow I'll be handing out flights for Christian Planko show Down at a pizza parlour That we're doing the call we're doing a coffee pot down in Long Island. That's a little bit of a road gig getting a car Hit me on my Facebook wall if you can

Kale you're below me, so shut your mouth. Oh, great. Hey, Ray Allen. And finally you. When are you going to Rube? I'm going to Rube. January 11th, buddy. January 11th.

January 11th. Hi, you guys. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Rube, uh, I hope you guys had a great. Ooh, I want to take it to Kilo Ruba, I want to take it to Kilo Ruba, I want to take it to Kilo Ruba, I want to take it to Kilo

Ruba, I want to take it to Kilo Ruba, I want to take it to Kilo Ruba, I want to take it to Kilo Ruba, I want to take it to Kilo Ruba, I want to take it to Kilo Ruba, I want to take it to Kilo Ruba, I want to take it to Kilo riot you guys are the best take it Jomega

we heard her baaab you've been listening to the YKWD podcast thanks for listening now go back to your shitty jobs shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet.

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