Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Baby Juice AIDS

Episode Date: January 28, 2013

Robert packs the RiotCast studios with the biggest YKWD lineup yet. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Maú, a Madrid. You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what? in all your devices. Plus, to TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca.

You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? On the RiotCast Network, riotcast.com. This weekend, big, big show, Gotham Comedy Club, January 31st, February 1st, February 2nd, New York City. I got a special guest on the show, Amy Schumer, and Joe List will be MCing the whole weekend. So this weekend, big show, Gotham Comedy Club, the 31st, 1st, and 2nd. So make sure you come down, get your tickets now, tell a friend, grab your girl, get that shit now. It's gonna be crazy.

And the special guest, whose feature? Kemi Schumer. Should be fucking headlining. Okay, so it's gonna be crazy. It's gonna be crazy. Gotham Comedy Club this weekend. Get your tickets now. I wanna really send a big huge congratulations out

to Mad Scientist, Party Hour, and the Bailey J Show for their 100th episode. They both hit 100, this amazing. Congratulations, you guys are awesome. If you haven't heard this show yet, go over there, go to Riyakass, get the app, or go to the.com, go to Riotcast, get the app, or go to the dot com, or go to iTunes and download their shows, hilarious, very interesting, unique,

fucking humor, not the same old, same old. So congratulations to you guys, you, Bailey J, Matt, you guys are all great, and that's it from your boy Bob Okay intro for baby juice AIDS goes a little something like this This one's a fucking crazy crazy show. I was enough. I got no fucking bad mood I don't know if it's the stress or the baby or whatever. I Snapped a little on a couple people here and there, you know, whatever. It's what I do.

I don't know, people bug me and it fucking, I just say it. But it was, you know, it was pretty, I had nine people in the show, which I don't advise to anybody podcasting, don't have nine people on. It's too much. Kelly Fistilko, I'm showing up at the end of it from a 24 hour journey back from Shitsville, the Gold Coast. I roll it! So she pops up.

It was good to see her. Dylan from Lapspin online came in. We had Paul Verzi, who I love. We had a shit. God damn it. Who else? Harris, Dan Soda, Joe List. We had Louis J. Gomez came in with some fresh breast milk and Neadeye Seymour. It's, uh, it's a little crazy episode. It went all over the place. I originally wanted to talk about having babies and blah blah blah but of course it went to assholes and dicks and

shit. I don't know. Enjoy this one man. This is... I don't know if this is you know if you're gonna like it or not. I know at the end of it it's it's I didn't know. You know some of them I know are just fucking oh my, it's, it's, uh, I didn't know. You know, some of them I know are just fucking, oh my god, this is a great show. This one I know is a great podcast, but, you know, I was a little moody. And sometimes you're a little moody, you really can't tell what's up, but how good you did. So, baby juice aids. Enjoy. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn.

This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Leary. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Kreiser. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude! Ify bippy bbya, ify bippy bboo, dippy dippy dippy diyah, yabba dabba do.

Dude! This is Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude? Bibi Bibi by uh if Bibi Bibi Boo. Dippy Dippy Daya, Yabba Dabba Doo. DEEEEED! This is Robert, come with me, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not getting the fuck out of you, I'm not gettingess on top of your head. And all you have to do is just shower. I do shower, I shower every day. I just don't shampoo it every day. Why? Because I would smell, I'd love to just come up behind you.

My hair still smells okay. I only shampoo like once a week. Yeah, you really shouldn't. Yeah, it's not good for you. And it makes into like human product. You can, it's like fucking moose. Okay, so your hair because it's so long. Yeah, can you push that mic down so I can see your face please? Lewis's mic. Oh, I just want to see you. I'll push it up. What are you baby? So you

Really you just fucking if you don't shampoo it it gets naughty Correct. Yeah, if you have naturally shampoo it, it gets naughty. Correct. Yeah, if you have naturally curly hair, that's all dreads are. All dreads are is when you do not shampoo your hair. They're just so dirty though, they get so smelly. No, they're really not, because I rinse them. Because I rinse them with hot water with lots of force and I get in there and I scrub it all, there's really no.

You know what you should do? It's a, you should fucking do a small Mohawk. Shave the sides, do the Mohawk, grow some sideburns, and you're gonna look badass. Yeah? Yeah, you look great.

I'm not a fan of fucking dreadlocks. Yeah, I mean, I just don't want you to look fucking dirty. I didn't consciously say to myself, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get dreadlocks. Are you a hippie? Ooh, meaning what?

Have you ever had an abortion? I've had six. Can you get that? You've had six? I've never been pregnant on account of a male. Have you ever had an, well, you have, but it's when you have an abortion, that's a very liberal thing to say, by the way.

When you have an abortion, you're a part of it. If you tell, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you and a girl, fuck and you're gonna kill the baby, I never had an abortion. It's a deep, you'll put your part of it. That's not, that's not her choice. That's your, her choice, ultimately, yes. Right. If she says fuck you, I'm keeping it,

you, you're dealing with that. I've never dated anybody or I've never had, I've never known, I've never been with somebody who had an abortion. You never murdered a baby. No. But what would happen? What do you say if, this is, this is like,

we're on. I'm not waiting for people anymore. I just hit record. Well, what would you say? Six o'clock rolled, we had him with talking in the row, whether it's interesting or not. We're rolling. Let me ask you this, what happened?

Please ask me. What if you get her pregnant She goes I'm getting rid of it. I don't want you to get rid of it. She goes I'm getting rid of it Who I'm like no I don't show me a guy that would fucking do show me a guy You know what's up, man. Oh shit. All right, don't get get out. All right. You would just will white now you turn fucking get All right, don't get get off his hair Now you turn fucking ghetto. All right, don't get ghetto because Harris shut up. We just talk about yeah, but we still still very white in this room You just do it daily you can step yeah, exactly Fucking mercy really just to see it doesn't matter. You don't have to turn black because you just talk to a black eye

No, yeah, what's up? You'll one second go from come on son No, but but here's my question if you get a girl pregnant I'm glad you wait again. Go ahead if you get a girl I just know what's up man. I recite you don't buddy. What's up, Dan? If you get a if you get a girl pregnant, right? Yes, you really love her and she goes Yeah, I can't keep this. I'm not I'm not keeping this Why would you know I go so she says I'm not keeping a man. You know what?

I got no I got no choice because it's her body It ultimately comes down to her sure it ultimately goes look right. It's ultimately her choice It's her body, but if you decide to get one you guy you got one with her You're with her you're going with her. Hopefully you're not a fucking scumbag you put her in a fucking a black limo here Go ahead drop her off over the fucking I'm not taking that ride on my conscience. That's scummy. I'm not taking that you put a girl in a black limo here. Hey, go ahead drop her off over the fucking I'm not taking that ride on my conscience. That's scummy. I'm not taking that you put a girl the black limo I'm gonna get that scum back and do it Blamell, I mean what's the limo for? It's got a portion!

It's kinda nice Dude, it's not nice if you don't go with her I know what you think of it as a black collar You're gonna play Call of Duty while you fucking send her off so you gotta arrive I'm not going with her Maybe you you say I'm not going with it I really want it if I really want it and she goes no and I go but I love you We're in this together and she says no when I got a career. I don't want it I'm not going for that. I'm going you put that on your conscience not on mine

So you're gonna make her go by herself. Yeah, absolutely and I would never be done with her and I would be done with her now Why I've never had I've never had I was never was it a moral thing or oh? No, no, no, I've never had, I was never, is it a moral thing or? Oh, no, no, no, no, I just, it likes his baby. No, no, no, I just got, I just, Okay, black people, you don't, you know, all right, you guys just have kids, there's no, they do.

Yeah, because you guys, there's so much more into it than you. I had my first kid, three years ago, I'm 36 years old. Hang on a second, this is Rob Sprance. Rob, what did you do to the fucking sound? I got a change, I do you think? Huh? I'm fucking, what's he doing here? He's's on the train so he has to whisper hang on good talk. Go ahead. Hello Portions

Borscht we got we got to make it up to do later in the spot got we're down to touch The first quarter right now I guess we're down to touch the first quarter right now. I'm getting blown out. So Dan, let me ask you this, Dan. And Joe, all you guys, Dylan Harris, if you were with a girl you really loved her. Like it really, it was a serious thing. You were with her for a long time, right?

Yeah, fuck. And all of a sudden she tells you, you know, I'm pregnant. You kind of get excited that you're gonna have a child with this person that you love and she goes, but listen. I don't at all. I'm not keeping it. Hang on one second, did you get me a coffee? She makes't tell me to get you a coffee. Go look at your phone. That's it. Oh boy. Oh shit. Yeah, fuck you. I don't have text work you asshole. I didn't sit on this mother

Fuckin' sit his cock suck. It just pulled the fucking fat chick move. I didn't see you fucking. I don't need a water I need to coffee you have a go mess. Go suck. Bobby You know, he was that listen Joe. Look at me. He's downstairs. I'm downstairs getting a coffee literally the second his text comes in I Get me one two yeah exactly just it. I didn't sit I Respect you more you're lying. I know what you're lying here is that I know In 2013 petty is not on your list of not things not to do is just fuck it's just coffee Wow, you bring this show

See he knows the bandana. He said Harris help me out. No, I said here's in a chumman. I'm gonna lie I'm gonna lie you go in the checkers for you come up with some New year talk of a Joe. Joe's on my side. Joe, you're right. You're absolutely right. I know I'm gonna get you on the side. I just want you to get you on the side.

No, I don't want you to get me on now because now you're the fucking victim. Well, now I want to be the victim. I'm gonna fucking stay the victim of shitty friendship. That's what I'm gonna do. I just, can I just bring something up? Yes, sir. You knew I was that coffee bean.

Yeah. You could have asked me to get you a coffee. It's coffee bean on the one on the end. First of all, I'm a big ol' bleaker. I was there too. Okay, here we go. Let's just deal with this. I didn't want a coffee when you were there.

Okay. Therefore, I didn't ask for coffee. Okay. So you're just fucking sticking up for Dan, doesn't make sense. I'm not sitting there for anybody. I'm not sitting there for me. I'm fucked up where you are.

Are you fuck, Saka? I did not see the text hang on Sword again. The root problem is dance a bad guy and it does sound weird by the way. It does It really? It's a little tinny. It's a bit tinny. Why are you down two touchdowns? Yeah. I know, say the pot. We had a rough start. It was all over the place. Oh, congratulations, Dan. 49 is congrats to. Thank you. There was some hair talk. There was some abortion talk. None of it got solved. Well, I still got to answer that question

because I wouldn't do it. I would never get excited to have a kid. That would be my problem, unless it was planned. No, but if this girl, and you, if you did love the girl, and she had it, and she was pregnant, and she's like, I'm getting rid of it, and you were like, listen, like, I look like, why, and she's like, oh, my career right now,

I can't do it, and it was a really big problem for you. I don't know if I would be able to just, first of all, I think that it would end the relationship, especially if it was, but I don't think I could go there and like, consult her, especially since it was totally against, I mean, it depends, but that would be tough, dude. Yeah, I don't know how to do it. I don't think she could expect you to go there.

I think, I think she would have to be understanding and find some other emotional support. She got with her. She had to find something. Because she decided to let you go inside of her without a condom. But she's partly responsible for it. That's what I think.

You can't just tell the other guy, hey, I don't care what you think. I'm like killing. Like in that consequence, like even when I used to just have a, like even when my wife when I knew and I would like do that, that's so fucking, you're all in dude. Like when you do that and the female lets you do that,

you're all in and you have to know, there's another life that's coming from this. It's not like, oh, we're rolling the dice and if it happens, you can't do that. I don't know if I have that deep of thoughts when you're coming to a girl or you're like, life! Ah, this is life, I'm not.

Well, you do, you do when you're married. No, even when I was in, I'm showing time for comedy. Well, you've been lucky. How you do is busing girls and not worry about it. Come on, fingers crossed. Yeah, no, I mean, I think about that. That's what I'm just like, oh, this is you're in deep

because that's it. Once that release is over. Paul's a good guy. He goes to church every Sunday. By the way, the first time you, you, I assume you tried to have your kids. Yeah, the first time you did that on purpose, was it the most fucked up feeling ever?

Well, the crazy thing is, in some of my friends who tried for a long time, hate me for this, but both children I did on the first time. Yeah, nice to know. Yeah, yeah. You're one take version. But I mean, you spend your whole life trying- You spend your whole life trying to-

No, not industry audition. You're the ex- Go back to singing. Sorry, I'm back. You spend your whole life trying to do that with a fucking Trink industry audition You're the exact opposite Sorry, I'm back. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I probably had a fake phone call. He was actually writing behind the curtain I fucking Bobby what do you have cards? What do you have Vin Diesel behind? A poster Vin Diesel behind? It's good for radio

Good visual joke for radio. You fucking good visual joke for radio. You fucking hat wearing full. You look like a cat burglar. What kind of insult was that? Hat wear and the t-shirt. I was set up for the cat burglar line. Settle down. You stepped on the cat burglar line

with your fucking whiny voice. You cocky cock suckers. I was at dressed like that. That's what they used to dress like back in the day on the job. And he put a little mask on. No, that's more of a guy. He looks more like a Tommy gun hanging on the side. And he put a little mask on. No, it's more of a guy. He looks more like a, he's got like a Tommy gun.

Hang on to the side of us. 13 outside. So you're getting, you're getting back at Harris for making more visual jokes on radio. Huh? You're getting back at him by making more visual jokes. Wow, Dylan really is on me. You know what Dylan, I'm gonna attack you

fucking dirty hair again. Listen, let's go. I'm sorry, Versi, but I jumped in and I heard you say that you had babies right out the gate. No, we were talking about how when a girl let you come in her and then she wants to, and then she wants to, this is how you're dating.

Sure enough for the way. Not when you're raping. Right, right. No, we're just talking about like your, Arras made a good point. Like you're dating a girl, you love her, she loves you. Let's get out. Be the judge of that. Arras never said that. No, no, no, no a good point like you're dating a girl you love her She loves you. I'll be the judge of that. Harris never said that no no

No, he's turning him into you let him talk you say what I said. Yeah, no, I said, you know, you love the girl She loves you you have sex and all of a sudden she goes When you talking about what you and Harris talked about do it more ghetto. I'm not I'm not I'm not having it you go, but I wanted to and just said, yeah, but she knew the consequences of when you that's a big act Yeah, she she she she's allowed you to go inside or without a bag So it look if you you can come in women, okay, and not most of the most of the time you can come in a woman and not get a pregnant 99% of the time you can drop your fucking load in her fucking vage and nothing happens you're fucking load in her fucking vage and nothing happens.

There's one day out of fucking one month that she ovulates and the egg is fertile enough to be fucking, have the sperm come up that fucking huge canal of, and inside, and make it go down. All the other days, you can drop your load in her. And she might like, that makes her feel better. But she might like you coming in her.

She might be into that. She might be, she might, what are you going? I'm gonna open the door. Oh, and possibly leave. That's the point, don't you? To me, anytime you're coming to girls, you're possibly going to be a pregnant person. You know, I know factually you're right.

But would you risk your life with that statistic? What do you mean? I think there's risk my life. You're saying risk that one day, like you just deal with it that day. You don't know all right Let's say you smoke crack now one day you could die. Would you would you go? I'm gonna try if I love crack fuck Yeah, I think crack people kind of do that Whole addiction work dude if you love jumping out of airplanes with no parachute would you risk? Who's that?

I don't know. I would invite a lot of people. There he is. Yeah. He's got a very, he's got a present for everybody today too. Gomez, you're right in the middle over here, OK? The fastest guy in the room in between two people. Yeah, what are you going to do?

That's why I put the two skinniest guys almost. The fastest guy in the room. And the, uh, I'll get him see Bobby. That's why I put the two skinniest guys almost that is gotten a room and the So So anyways, I mean you don't believe in abortion No, I believe in this a choice Like I believe in a choice. I just don't think it should be used like I knew of a girl that had like eight of them Yeah, I knew of a girl I knew I knew of a girl who literally used it as birth control and that and I'm against that birth control She got the five illegal because the water you can't get anymore. She had she did it

She did it. Yeah, you can't just leave it a portion It's like the bill Russell you fucking serial killer What is there a fucking there's a wanted poster? Yeah, I know how many abortions you got I don't know but it's I know it's illegal to have There's not illegal well, I remember this guy's Her friends I remember her friends like it's not near on it. She's done it multiple times that she was using it as Burnt troll and I'm against that like fuck that dude like anybody's a choice But don't fucking do that she white really. Yeah. Oh, sorry. It's like a black move

Girl doing that I don't use kind of I just get abortions like what the fuck she must have been very fertile to Yeah, I mean first of all by how old how old did you have? How do you know she got laid abortions? Well, I mean listen I am listening I have headphones on Turn him up. He did him in the dream of the stand turn him up all the way stupid. I can't hear my mic Am I my car? I was very close Rob fuck the sound up on me guys. I apologize. I don't know what he did He uses just to announce him real quick. This glory, these are now the riot cast studios

because glory hole moved in here too, so they're gonna be doing their show there. We might have other shows moving here. We're fixing. Mate, slow roll over that. I'm gonna do a fucking savage friends in here. Is this gonna be everyone's studio now? No, no, it's my studio, but Rob's studio is here too.

He's doing it on Thursday Joe you do nothing you don't get like you have any fucking saying any of this Whoa Lewis Wow, it is wow like a factory worker that just comes home so it's beating his wife for no reason I actually just like Lewis the Puerto Rican Yeah, or he's just Lewis Jay Gomez real-ass dude. Yeah,, I'd be in the funny one. Was important, I'm sorry. Oh, if it was, Dan will be important.

Oh, I don't know. That was poses a thing, but a really nice thing. Yeah, that's what I said. That's what I said. Thank you. Yeah, he, yeah. Look at you over there being fucking funny. Fuck it.

Joe's positive singers. Jesus Christ, so anyways, I'm sorry. He changed the, he did something to the fucking thing. I can't hear anybody out of my head. This is what's killing me is that he said he didn't do anything. I just talked to him, I didn't do anything. I didn't touch anything. Yeah, you fucking did.

I've done this show. How many times have you come in here? Millions. And everything's fine. And millions of podcasts. Oh, you're fucking twilight. Here's what we do. We all hide in here until he comes into his podcast and we chimp him.

Right. Pillow case is full. If ever there was one for the sound to be off, I mean, this is kind of a tough. Yeah. Turn your headphones, your volume. Did you turn it up over there? I turned it up. I'm sorry if you know cuz Lewis put it on fucking back to the future volume I'm sorry, you have to what do you put down?

There you go that worked for mine that worked mine is in there. We're good. I don't turn yours that worked for everybody's That one on the end is the master volume for the headphones Oh, and I just figured that out That one on the end is the master of all the headphones. Oh, and I just figured that out. Louis Bones, a scientist. Dr. Gomez, what's up? It's science hour with Louis Gomez. His jeez from his baby.

He's interacted with his dumbness. Dr. Gomez, what are two things you've never heard together? All right, Joe's still off. Hey, come here. I came in here. He karate jockey and neck. Headlining, Joe. I came in with him. Everybody, give it up here. I'm a Joe list those are two things. I've never heard I can't hear Maybe you've never been to the comedy works in Montreal

Oh, or the brew haha Hartford or maybe even Caroline's on Broadway Speaking of which is anyone want to headline Caroline's on Broadway. Oh, speaking of which, is anyone want to headline Caroline's? Give them away. My biggest accomplishment. He'd hate people. So any who, all right, thank you for fixing that, Lewis. Well, he just smashed his fist.

Yeah, so hard. Playing clumsy fonds. Just so he has to. So I got my girlfriend. Yeah. How are you just talking about that? Well, I acquired all you guys for this podcast Paul Lewis Dylan

Harris And you guys I wanted on cuz you're not you told the other spectrum But we all have kids are have I am having a kid right and you guys don't and you guys are on the other spectrum Where you don't you want That's the last thing in the world you yeah There's no way I'm a child last thing I want is like you know cancer. Yeah, I would say last thing's I take cancer you take a kid before cancer. I would take it for cancer. I was just gonna say there's a lot of cancer You can be cut a nut off. Yeah, we're talking that's

You would lose a nut over a kid. You know kid is forever I mean I'll take a kid over both my balls. I'll take Over I've seen your balls. I'd actually take my balls are gross. Yeah, I'd fix them I got real turkey neck Yeah, losing one of your nuts would actually be beneficial for you and the women you fuck I think I just slim it down look like an empty garbage bag What are you gonna say Paul now? I was gonna say so many dudes and that's nothing against you know Joe or Dan But so many dudes like fuck that I would never do that and like you know You're coming up in the business tough, and then you have it yeah, and you're like what the fuck was like like not having this

Yeah boom ten minutes material instantly done way more people have kids that shouldn't have kids That's true then people that don't have kids that should have that's definitely true That again, there's a lot more people that have kids What is happening here right now Dylan how many kids you got I've got two now how many kids you got Stepson account nope one You have a stepson yeah he's eight how was that you have an 18 year old step yeah he was 18 when I first is 50 that's actually called a friend no he was yeah he was 18 when I first

met him how how old was he don't remember six six so you've been his dad his whole life no he has real dad it comes about what are you? Big Dutch everyone's huh? Oh, he's she she mar it's a Dutch black dude or a Dutch white Dutch black dude really then I was a fucking Those guys are from Africa actually all the Dutch black guys though like Sir Anami and all the dudes South America loose is killer with the facts Audio you have facts What a fancy audio you have fact You have never lived What the fuck?

I want to Any was wrong as South America No, let me know Sorry right there South America I was playing South America I went to the Netherlands to smoke a lot of weed And in the fourth grade I did a report on serenom And did I fucking...

I met these serenomying guys It was really high And I was like, hey man Is it true that you guys like Export bananas and shit And they got really offended Because I fucking brought up their exports. Yeah, you could use the word banana.

And your guys was black guy about a banana. Yeah, you know, you don't go up to black guy. I'm like, I'm going to get in the world. Black guys are bananas. They don't want to fuck you. You know, man, do you export bananas? And you chase white chicks to the jungle? The fuck's wrong with you?

And I love scene to claws. And I don't like your stoner voice. It's no different than your regular voice. What? Don't fake another voice. Hey man, that's your voice. Don't do your darned version of you. That's how you tie, boys.

I think I would, look, I never wanted a fucking kid. At all. The last thing I wanted. I did not want you. I didn't particularly want one. I never wanted one. And then all of a sudden something happens. Something fucking weird happens in your brain.

When you, you have to have a girl like that you love, I give a shit about. But then something happens, you're like, why am I with you if we're not gonna do this? If we're gonna stay together, I don't know if I wanna be that couple that selfish couple that's in their 50, and there's still travel in the world together Because they have nothing to tie them down. I always have a pair of clean slacks

But there's enough kids. Why do I gotta be selfish because I just want to chew about themselves But I have enough I think you're made your ear people in the world anyway, and it's a scary scary world It's dangerous. It's not fucking it's not dangerous to scary. It's fine. Yeah, Joe What the fuck do you live buddy? It's pretty dangerous and scary if I read about climate change war I've had that You don't care if your son goes to school in the life jacket Because of what? Warming you know what? the life jacket. Because of the warmin. What? Global warming.

You know what? I have a whole campaign for this fuck. Listen to me. You're not giving a fuck. Listen to me. Fuck you, that stink. Why is nobody, this is what sucks about you and you and you, is I have a fucking new guy on and he has a fucking stinker and you just, you look at each other.

And what? You're life jacket on and that fucking, you can't take it. You just suck. each other I'm a you life jacket on that fucking We can't Joe just blow Fuck Joe I want to go out I want to go out of the fog show I'm just so uneducated with global warming that I didn't know you're off the hook I know that you like fucking you guys When the bowl of ice comes in on the water

You're gonna take a school bus That was really abstract dude You're a wordy fucking asshole I'll say it and you you jokes stink and don't look me like you'd be serious I'm gonna fucking hit you I'm gonna And plug Joe's Black people you better fucking you better be you I'm being me. What are you talking about? I was I was making his point. I got Louis Yoant at Joe. I got Harris talking about those what?

Yeah, you should go on. I got nobody's nobody's intimidated by Harris. That's it. Let's get fucking real. You should get me. Stop being intimidated. Everybody. Thank you. Louis. The finally fucking no don't let him up. Who the fuck is this guy? Let me let me ask you a question Bobby. What when you say something That's Dylan from that is Dylan from I never met him before who's in who's who's who's who's He was tone changed he can do something for me. I never met him before now What are you guys Kenny? It's a laugh. Nobody can do anything. Nobody's gonna laugh at my shit. Let's get real

So when you you said something changed in you, I'm interested to know what exactly, which changed you. Is it that you wanted a friend? The fear of having your fifties. The fear of taking care of something else, other than yourself. The fear of you care of something else other than yourself. The fear of you'll be less funny,

the more human you get, all those fears go away because you actually realize it has nothing to do with my career, whether I succeed or not, if I fall in love with a woman, if I move in with a woman, if I have a child, it has nothing to, I can control what I do with my creativity.

At this point of the game, so it doesn't scare you anymore. It didn't scare me anymore where I was like, you know what, we're together, I love you. Let's have a baby, let's fuck for the reason we're supposed to fuck and make a life and and and have something To leave behind from us. It's not your baby. What about your albums? Robert Kelly live in just the tip

No, you know what it is? It was so fucking narcissistic Comedia just so fucking narcissistic and you just said having to take care of something else. And Harris, I remember one time you were like, yeah, like sometimes you go on the road and people say you miss your kids. I gotta be honest with you. Like the first couple of days you don't. You fucking don't. And I said like a comedian with kids are the only people in the world who look forward to Vegas for the fucking rest. You go to fucking Vegas to it and I'm like, I'm sleeping for a week. And the pussy. But the pussy.

The legal pussy. One kid and I don't mean any offense to anybody. One kid but one kid compared to two is a fucking joke. One kid is a fucking joke. Today I had both of them. I want to be fucking scream and go shut the fuck and I love my daughter. The most beautiful thing is crying. I want to fuck that. I want to map a thing down. That's true. That's true. When you have one kid, it's that what you said. I said she's alright. I want to map a standout. You know what I mean? That's true. That's true. When you have one kid, it's, I said she's alright. Yeah.

When you have one kid, it's pretty intense, but once you have your second, it's not doubly as difficult, it's like quadruple. It's, yeah, one is one. I'm not having two. I'm not having two. And this whole only child thing, suck a dick, he'll be fine.

He'll be fine. Trust me, he's gonna have all. You say that now, dude. all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all Yeah This is really picking up the slack. Thank God. He is driving the lane. Go. He is I don't like this serious conversation that we're all having Well, you take that is here. Yeah, that will you take care of that if you say something funny It would you take it? You have to get real bros. There's no rules to speak you can't like we're talking serious Don't be funny be funny cock soccer like my four tits joke Wasn't even that funny. It's just nothing else was funny that that was a little bit funny Joe I mean There's a vibe going I know first of all there's a vibe going on and I think I think in plus having a Harris here

He's making everybody uncomfortable, but we have our interpreter Paul Verzi Man talking about straight Climate change son For real though he says he feels comfortable. He says he feels With that man trying to purlificate y'all you miss her the life jacket joke In reality was about the streets We all need a life jacket that's like protection From the shit going on in the streets. We're back. Dancing. Dancing's blacker than Harris. Yeah, I did it. I did it dad

Man of four voices. Well, well. That's bullshit. You have five. You're right. I'm six and a half. Sounds just like a different version of my four tits, Choke. I think, uh, alright. Can I get another Coke? What? I'm band-aid. Come on, band-aid.

By the way, did you see one of the fans, Manny Sanchez? He said we should have a different thing for a flat tire. Yeah, we should. A punch in the face. You're the kiss Kelly on the mulls. Oh, gross. Harris. Yeah. Now, having this other kid, in the face. You're the kiss Kelly on the mouth. Oh, gross. You're the die coaster. Harris. Now, having this other kid, you have to support this other kid,

too, right? Occasionally. Oh. Is the father help out? Yeah, he does. That's cool. That's actually. He's probably speaking to my, he speaks to my time.

OK, so here's a thing. Lewis brought in. We're going to do a little. Way to get distracted when you ask the serious question to Harris. Like, so what's the relationship between you and your son's father? He's like, all right, you just hear a bag being rustled around. We're going to do a little taste test. Oh, I forgot about this.

What the fuck is that? Yeah. It's a breast milk? Breast milk? I've already tasted it. One's almond milk, one's breast milk, and one's 2% milk. One's almond milk, listen to me. One of them might be my come though.

Listen to me. Yeah them might be my come though I Don't know I'm not even fucking around if I sit breastma gonna throw up in it Why I but you don't know what breakfast milk tastes like I'm gonna know You've tasted it absolutely It's delicious. I was like that Bobby put a K and the breast milk Rex milk He's in next Harris

I Saw it I love the turned into Sam Jack time out time at house You won't drink breast milk when you have girls spitting your hand and you slip it up What I'm sorry stop stop stop stop here's the fucking lunatic hang on stop Harris What the fuck are you talking about? I just like a little spit my mouth. Who spit? Oh You don't know this no why do you? He's open

Why do you wear was eyes? He's very open up. I asked him. Cause I'm the one spinning in his mouth. Hors. What? Hot hors. Wait a minute. You know this is being recorded.

Yeah. Yeah, I do. Oh, Jesus. Okay. So you're okay with that. I'm okay. You look like you're holding cum samples. Dude, it's freaking me the fuck.

Dude, that is freaking me out, man. It's what milk, man. It's the light of the fucking earth. I just felt like a gag because you hold in titty milk in your hand We don't know which ones titty milk man. Where did you get that from dude? My girl girls to we're all gonna take a sip want your girls to know. Yeah, she doesn't even know I got it her spit is fine But not her fucking if you so wait a bit stop you so a girl spits in her hand No, not her hand. What does she do and you your hand my mouth? Yeah, I'm in the mouth. Oh my drink, but so weird about that why you drink

No, he said it's drink So loose put that band-aid on Lou. Yeah, give that you laugh. You can't say band-dam because I laugh because it was a whiff Six-per-animous. It's a press of people strike out sometimes. I don't understand you like this to Joe if someone spits in your mouth Oh, if fucking I have a girl spitting my mouth. Yeah, wow she's gonna have a laser like precision with her I mean it's just like it's just like kissing exactly no It's a little more concentrate now it's. There's no hooking up a fucking big Louis. No one said Luke. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I'm better little I've drank with Harris before and as his drinks being prepared He'll ask like the wait just like spitting a little like it's a garnish What?

I don't do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. Joe, you you you tapping out on that? Yeah, I don't do that, but I thought I invented the spit during the sex I feel like we were You invented that you invented that was really good. If you go on YouTube, there's tons of kids and stuff that we like. Yeah, there's also guys getting fucked by horses. Yeah, but I'm not ending it. Horses.

I mean, I don't understand. So you're living me like I'm a toilet horse. Horses, you know what I'm talking about? I'm a horse. So the girl spits in her hand and feeds you to you. No, she spits in my head. But I like it different way. What was the hand thing then?

Didn't you say, girl, a girl used to spin in your hand? When I was in school, but now I'm growing up. Now I have it directly in my mouth. It's the game away. I went to a strip club one time in Florida. And I asked his hot Latin girl to what she spit. And she goes, are you sure? I go, yeah.

And she gets in the room. And she start doing tricks with it. She was let it slide down her back. It was delicious. I'll throw up. I'll throw up. But you could drink it. I love it. Milk.

Milk. And one's almond and one's green. I like it. I like it. One's 2%. Two of them are regular milk. The other one's fucking titty milk. And it's just milk.

It's just milk. There's a difference. Milk. It's just milk. That's all I can hear in my ears. It's just Bobby going. Do you like it? Do you like it? I can't hear to my ears is Bobby going to like do you like it? I don't know if it was in person

I mean I've never spit into anybody's mouth or had anybody spit into my mouth come here if I if I were single sure I would I would welcome that why do you have to be single to walk because I'm married you don't want your wife doing it you want to let Katy Perry spit out

why don't you want your wife doing it because it's just what. That's what. Say it, it's what. It's too familiar. It's my wife. But why? Because it's not, it's, what?

Because it would just be goofy. It would be a wife to speak, my mom. It would feel goofy. What do you mean goofy? I get it. I get it. Disgusting a goofy. Not disgusting.

Like, I would feel goofy asking her to do that. Because she might say. If she did it on her own. You feel goofy asking her to do that because she what she might say if she did it on her own you feel goofy I have a blowjob to no no this is picking up so so wait so I mean if she spits in your mouth just on her own you'd be happy about it yeah it'd be fine really sure who is you let Katy Perry spit in his mouth. Katy Perry let her spit in my mouth, but if she wanted to, I wouldn't ask her to.

I wouldn't be like, oh, if you used to go mouth, but if some chick was like, hold on a time out, if some really hot chick was like, I want to spit in your mouth, it would turn me on. I might do it just because it would turn out. I would absolutely do it. It turns me filthy. And the way you feel it,

I would ask for it. I would not be in turn on, I would feel all the time. But you will let just whatever six just you ask her to spit out a six if she got a fat ass I'll let a six if she has a small ass So that's the I just know that six is on the ball. I don't want you to spit my mouth You just said it was awesome, but if a chick like ask me to do it to her like spit my mouth I like this fucking she's I top you like just spit my mouth. I do it to her. me to do it to her, spit my mouth. I feel like this is fucking, she's like, I'm topping, like just spit in my mouth.

I do it to her, I would do it to a girl. Just like nice fucking, yeah. I pee on a girl. Have you, have you, have you, have you, I don't know about that. I would, I would pee on a girl. I piss, I piss in the back of my wife's shin, I'm in her calf in the shallow,

just for shits and giggles. But I, she's got mad, but I, I've never peed on a girl, but I would definitely peen a girl I would just never get peed on I don't want that Ah, that's great too. You've had that you've been peed on in your mouth. No, not my mouth What's your choice? Are they're aligned? Oh my chest is how does it? But how do you and you want drink milk over you? Squats and you Her legs and she just fucking lets off

Dreams warm very many you've done it. Yeah in the shadow like my ex girlfriend And she's just fucking let's off What dreams warm? You've done it. Yeah in the show like my ex girlfriend in the shower See what it was all the way down the shower was an on we just lay down the shower and then she peed on my chest Fucking like fuck you take a shower you just like used it You want to fuck up your entire apartment? You want me to do that? I would do it, sure. What? Not your wife if she did it,

but you wouldn't ask her to do it. That'd be good for me. I wouldn't ask her to do it. That'd be pretty good. I was like, I love my girlfriend in high school, Pee, I'm in the shower and I freaked out. I didn't like it. We were in the shower together and I was like,

yeah, piss on me a little bit. And then as soon as it started, it was warm and it was like, Serpy, I think she was drinking Mountain Dew all day. Serpy. Shit, diabetes. No, he told it to me. It smells like sugar. As soon as he started, I was like, I'm, diabetes. He told the two of us.

Like sugar. As soon as he started, I was like, I'm not into that, but the spitting for sure. Piss, you gotta test the water. Pissing, no way, man. I'm not into the pissing. I'll piss it because gross, though. That's like, that's been shitty.

Yeah, some people are into it. I got a bad friend in there. It's shitty, man. He called me one day when he had a gross shit on him in the whole too. Like, I'm supposed to clean up job at the day. Is it awkward? Like, so I call you tomorrow

What is it? Like shit no not shit you weird. How do you know that? Shit smell like shit. Okay, who's ass comes out of no some shit don't smell What you told me you live in huh? Depends on what you die it is. Some shit smells worse than other shit. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, of course.

But shit still stinks. Yeah, but it does some shit isn't as bad. This is very philosophical. Hang on. Some shit smells, but all shit smells. I want to know, you lose, you still win. Sometimes, you get to do a lot of things. I want to know what, what does peace smell like?

Heaven to hear us. I've missed before. what is peace smell like? Evan to hear us before how have you not smells like home? You've never smelled piss in your entire life and you live in a yours. I look at you. What are you? What is wrong with you? No, first of all, I don't have never been pissed on it. Yeah, but there's a big difference on the A-Train. I've been pissed off, oh boy.

Between smelling your shut up. There's a big difference between smelling not you,. There's a big difference between smelling not you There's a big difference between smelling your own piss Sure you pee right and actually getting it on your face and chest by the way, that's a big difference It's a big difference because it's on you don't act like it's not a fucking big. I'm a fucking you've never smelled no I've never been pissed on that I mean if your wife pees in the toilet and you like forgets to flush I mean don't you smell it? What life is forgetting to flush?

Animal I'll punch you in the house Why is Harry's dress like he's our sitting a hall that's what I want to know We already did the vision We already did the camera really better Where did the camera really better? I'm dick fan die Yeah, the dick fan die give us over the head the black guest star

It wasn't bad there was no black people in the dick fan die show I actually watched the show and there was no black There was no black people. No, it was fucking early Six days fucking race it now. I'm just I just yeah, I don't I of course I smell my once in a while she'll have some ODP Mm-hmm. Personally now that she's pregnant ODP other people's property smells like a horse Like she just fucking no, it's not how you down It's you're in is not urine you're're, you're generalizing fucking shit in urine. Shit, shit, no, it's not you fucking moep. Some urine.

You can only pour smells different. Different than other. It smells different. It might not smell as bad as the other shit. Listen, Bobby knows food in any form really well. Okay. Take a break it down. It's like, ah, that's that turkey shit right there.

That's turkey shit. There, gee, the lot of lasagna,, that's that's turkey shit right there. That's turkey shit That's He can shit Listen dummy It's like you guys are shit and piss on you blowing out your your literally taking my question and blowing it off I'm because I'm generalizing the smell of shit. I want not shit a piss. Are you? I'm not in the smell of shit. I want not shit at piss. Are you been pissing?

Same shit. Same stuff. And I want to know, like, what does it smell like? Like pee, Bobby. Stupid. Don't be stupid. Just be stupid. Yeah, fuck you.

You know what? Let me tell you something. You're being an idiot just to be funny. And if you want, it's it smells like pee. Am I in the business? No, it doesn't. I mean, some smell strong enough, but PSP.

Paul, you need to translate. No, it's not. This is the person who is saying right now. I just said that for me. No, it doesn't I mean some smell strong another but PSP. Oh, you need to translate Like all piece smells the same kind of like how kids from the streets are not the same for the kids from these being stupid All right, fuck it. I won't even ask a question. It does no way at all smell It's got to smell like something we just drink like girls breast milk This is Lewis's fetish. All right, well, so how are we gonna do this? Do you know do you have a code decoder? I know which one is what I think we take a sip

Each out of the same one take one pass it around. I'm gonna take it after her. It's got spittle over his lips The only the only thing with this is you know, it's flu season. I completely agree with the old. She got a flu shot I didn't get a flu shot. I gotta go run and get a flu shot Oh, it's good enough for the baby is good for you guys. I got you with us Let's get a cup this cups underneath get the cups right there The cups No, it's the only you lose get the cups Lewis. All right. Here's a deal. I'm gonna pour a little bit in each cup Who's in ready for first off? I want to that I want to be in but all right here. We guys aren't in both the guys to speak black

On in yeah, and this guy gets pissed on he's not in okay, that makes sense my son actually has the flu I'm not fucking with that. Oh you have the flu. No my son has you are you gonna give it to us? The fuck was that even like my son has the flu is like wait, are we gonna get it? No, he's better. He's better. I don't know. What the fuck was that? He was like, my son has the flu. Is it, wait, are we gonna get it? No, he's fine. He didn't have the flu. Why are you there? What is you drinking milk, have anything to do with your son having the flu?

Like, I don't know. Let's go. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Paul, how about you just don't want to drink Chris milk? How about that? Like, I'll try the almond shit. We should have Paul dealing on the show every week just for his fucking brain. He really slows things. What is that? I like dealing. He's a weird ass dude. He really is. He sounds like it is. I'm used to asking people questions. He really is like a computer. He's good.

He really, you know, like I thought I had an out. Oh, they were doing just fucking, I thought I was done. And then, Del, there we go. Everyone's drinking that shit. I like it. I'm fucking kidding me. Do you know no, it hurts my girl to fucking pump our breast milk or breast We weren't supposed to do it today. I tell you what happened. We're supposed to do it today Louis Katz was supposed to be on here. He loves breast milk I wanted to do it today. I tell you what happened. We're not supposed to do it today. Louis Katz was supposed to be on here. He loves breast milk.

I wanted to do it with him, but he keeps, he's not available. So it's like, fuck it. I asked him. He's writing. I'm like, yeah, whatever he's doing. I just realized, I need it.

My nephew has chicken pox, so I can't have it. I wanted to do this. Let's do it. I want to think to do it. It's my whole talk. You're gonna mix it in his cup, though, is that what you're gonna do? Everyone's gonna use the. It's my whole talk. You're gonna mix it in each cup though Is that what you get because you everyone's gonna use the same cup? Yeah? No, everyone gets yeah, everyone gets a cup Everyone's got a cup. You know which ones which all right Lewis

I think that's a fair compromise. Yeah, that's a good look at your girl while I drink her. You were gonna say you're it. Yeah, I'm just gonna stop her. A breast milk. A hot one too, not just a face. I say, that would make me violently. Not only is breast milk delicious, you guys,

but I would literally, you know, fuck a microphone in your head. I'm drinking her baby milk. I've heard the different guys. You heard us grow baby milk. Look, her is a different guy. You heard us grow? Someone said it was gross. It's delicious. Have you ever tasted vanilla milk? Bro, you're giving away what it's gonna taste like.

Sorry. Dude, you don't have a problem with people tasting your... Obviously not. He brought it into vowl. You know what? Never mind. It brings up a good point. Give me my fucking milk back.

You know what, Verzy? You're a cuckstuck. Not just a good ton, what you... Shut back. You know what verzy you're a cocks Shut up Listen let's get this I'm gonna find a picture for this creep to look at yeah wrong with you All right, so how are we doing it though? Everybody gets a cup why it's a Dan, will you please take over? Yeah, give me the cups. Okay, take the cups.

Give me the cups. I don't know how we're doing it. Oh, you're dumb. You just thought we had a joke on it. But are we mixing it? Are we mixing it? I think we have no other choice than to, to drink it.

Don't be a pussy. Don't be a pussy. Don't be a pussy. Next week we'll bring it to the Spatoon. Listen, everybody gets a cup. Everybody gets a cup. You pour a little of one there's is gonna throw up you Paul and you Paul and Bobby hey stupid look at me look at me you do everybody take one vile take one vile take one vile and put put a little

bit in everybody's cop and clean it out as much as you can, and then we do the other one. Okay. All right, I got it. All right. So I'm not gonna tell you which one is which. This is coming. That's how we're so pissed. That's how I was coming to fucking fear factor.

I thought I was gonna pop that. Jesus Christ. It's milk. It's milk. We're not drinking. Lewis is spilling. Dan wants a double. I'll tell you.

I think you're supposed to look like. All right, here it is. What the fuck? You have to look. Harry, here it is. No number one. You had to look. Aaron, listen, Aaron. Josh, did you see? You know what she looks like? Listen, don't, you better not fucking jizz.

Don't waste it, dude. There's a little bit. That's a lot. Yeah, you gave him a lot. Give me some of that. A little dabble, dude. Yeah, a little bit. Dan wants a double.

Hang on. He's there already. And it didn't get anything. It did. No, it didn't., so wait. What is this one? I don't know. No, I think we're supposed to guess this is this is 2% Listen on the count of three. I got a chase it would smell it. You get a smell at first And then dude, I'm like a sick and then we go we go. I think he's supposed to lick salt all right here. We got one two three This is 2% that's not bad., here we go. 1, 2, 3. This is 2%.

That's not bad. That's pretty good. Oh, it's warm. Oh, who's voting? All right, what do you say? It's just like milk to me. That's just too personal. Oh, timeout.

Dylan has a vote last because obviously some sort of milk expert. What he does, he knows the knowledge. I think it's milk. That's too much. That's what he's like milk. Yeah. Paul, you're fucking milk.

I would say that's milk and it tastes pretty good. That's regular milk Paul I would say that's milk and it tastes pretty good Hey, wait, there's gonna be chunks in the rest of what is she have sand in her All right, we're doing the next one Space are you are you knock out? I can not get a state to the end. But how you gonna rinse it out? You just gonna pour it in there and then drink it.

Just some water right there. Give me some water. It's gross. Milk water. This actually grosser than drinking Teddy milk. Yeah, it really is. We don't put a lot in there. We don't put a lot in there.

Why don't you mix that coke with that like Laverne did. I'm Laverne and Shirley. Milk and Coke? Yeah, she didn't, she had milk and Pepsi, remember that? No. That was Laverne's drink. I'm Lavered surely. Milk and Coke? Yeah, she didn't have milk and Pepsi, remember that? No. That was livern's drink. I'm liverned to show you milk and Pepsi. This one's the suspect one.

Oh, that's easy. I swear, I felt a chunk hit. I get all right, that's brown. All right, got it. There is a chunk in this. No, there is not. Dude, I swear to God, what is that on the bottom of my glass?

That's the result of a number. That's fucking stupid. That's fucking stupid. Nipples coming in. What is that? No, this my glass? That's the result of like a number. That's fucking stupid. Nipples coming. That's pretty stupid. What is that? No, this is almond.

It's pretty no joke. This is the almond. What is this? No, this is almond. This is the almond piece. Everybody should call it. I can't tell it. I can't tell it.

I can't tell it. I can't tell it. I can't tell it. I can't tell it. I can't tell it. I can't tell it. I can't tell it. I can't tell it. I can a real ass dude, yeah, you are. This is me, this is Charlotte. She's a very pleasant lady, the mother of your baby. There we go.

There we go. There we go, there we go. One, two, three, go. Shot it. Look at Dylan. I already drank it, sorry. That's almond. That's almond.

What is that? Almond. That's not a fucking, it just no more dudes. That's not bad. It tastes exactly like almonds. What do you guys want? It tastes exactly like almonds. It tastes like almonds. It's just, it was, I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad.

I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad.

I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought it was going to be bad. I thought just all fucking puffed up. Turns out I got an almond allergy. I got an almond allergy. All right, here we go.

Come on, let's go. Let's get this off with. Let's just finally drink your lady's tit milk. Yeah, let's go. Beatrice, you're a lovely lady. I can't do it. All right, come on. You're doing it.

You're already came this far. Yeah, what are you going to do? You already drink regular milk. In almond milk, he called you like me. Honestly, the next one is the milk. Is the titi milk. You already drink that. You already drink human beverages. She could love almonds. And her titi milk is white. I'm gonna say that much. Okay. Yeah, why isn't there as much?

Uh-huh, cuz she possibly cuz it came out of a boob. All right, here we go. Oh, he's mixing it. That's not fair Yeah, there's a little more here. Wait, Paul, you're not mixing it. You're making a fucking almond. That's almond. That's all that's all that's all you can put There's a little more here It's homin dude. It's homin. It's homin. Wait, wait, that's enough man. Anybody want a little more? All right, here we go. Dude, I see guys. We're met.

Paul. It's homin milk, dude. Bobby, do something in there, dude. Look at me. Look at me. Stay with me. Stay with me. Paul, look at it.

Fuck. Stay with me. It's like, perfect. You don't look at it. Everybody's here's how we know how to be a Beatrice's titty and man's his kid Straight the mic is made it weird wow, that's good. Oh, that is that's like sweet Oh, please That's wow that's sweet as shit. Yeah, that was that's a really nasty aftertaste

I'm gonna get bigger stronger faster that is so good Puff feels like audience members after they watch a set oh I can actually see what your chicks hit looks like in my mind right now I can actually see what your chicks tit looks like in my mind right now. Oh my god, that was good. Your son will be a viral strong son. That was not bad. No, it wasn't. I mean I was not even taking a sip of water since like when you have cereal the milk. Yeah golden grams. It's like the end of a bowl golden gram. It's like a corn pops. Yeah, I just I just shittin' my diaper. It's like the end of a bowl of golden grain. It's like a corn pops. Yeah, I just shittin' my diaper.

I thought it was fun. See how he described how milk taste, even though it's just milk. Yeah. It's all milk. Milk, Paul, it's milk. Yeah, Paul. Yeah, Paul. Yeah, Paul.

Yeah, I'm good. His eyes are watering. Paul, you're slush. What if we all get some type of fucked up illness that babies have like a certain scids? We all die of sins So wake up tomorrow. There's no explanation for his death They all died. I don't know if it was something to do with this is not your first time drinking the milk No, it is really first time drinking it really so you've never had your your milk your wife's you still and you've had it before? Yeah, you have my wife's titty milk?

Did you say it? Yes. Yeah, you said it like really fucking. No, I haven't had a, no, I've had my wife's titty milk. Oh. Telling you how much delicious fruit you have. After the titty milk? I don't know, like a few, like an ounce, like an ounce or two.

We have, buying it on the fucking black market. No, I mean, listen, you have two kids. You get by the way. And you're constantly making bottles. Eventually, you're gonna have to. You're gonna have to do it. You're gonna have to do it. Eventually, you're gonna say, I'm under with this taste thing.

And then you taste it, and you're like, wow, it's pretty good. It's like, come. You jerk off enough, you're like, what is this taste like? Yeah, right? Yeah, I've done it. I was like, you can't hold on one more taste. Or maybe you've collected and drink a gallon of it at one time. Wait, you tasted, come, who's tasted, come now?, or maybe you collect it and drink a gallon of it at one time.

Wait, when tasted, come, who's tasted, come. Your own come, you've never tasted your own come? No, I've never tasted your own come. I've never tasted your own come. I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, you've never accidentally ejaculated in your back while you're laying down. I would slow down everybody's talking over everybody.

Versi, settle down, Dylan, you've tasted your own come. Yeah, and accident, like if you're on your back, if you ever like, you know, like, jerk off like laying down, and you shoot like, if you're on your back If you ever like you know like jerk off like like laying down. Yeah, and you shoot like I've shot over my head at the time Well, you know it got you know why was it open? I don't know it got on you enjoying myself. You got I got this I mean I usually masturbate I usually masturbate like this Is that I don't visual joke Legs are over your head

I don't understand guys that fucking blow loads on their stomach. I don't I don't want a fucking near. What do you do with your load? What do I do with my load? I fucking jerk off into Drink it Towel and you know toilet paper put put in the thing I don't jerk off The jizz we're all gonna taste To find out what which ones are Chunks in it dude. I got a jizz face story real quick if I could tell you cuz that's how freaked out I get about it real quick. This isn't a late night show. You don't got to go to commercial

Yeah, I think I think I think I got before the band I got a real quick story. We would really lower the bar here We opened with fucking abortion and shit. No, here's what happened. Okay, I go into one Reaction with locks. All right, first of all, you'll all right sure I go into the station Missus and I was really fucking I was excited. Like when I go into those jerk off of the suit places, I'm excited early. Wait, your wife lets you go in the jerk off of the suit places? No, this is a long time ago, man. That's what we all say.

Can I just say this podcast every single one of us is a hunk of shit. But years ago. Here's a guy. Guys, this was, no one's ever been to hug a shit last year. This is different. In 1977, the Warner just came out on the theaters. It's a different age. No, I do.

So I go with... 90s then? You don't want to meet 90s then. He's a real hug. I used to fucking get my ass licked. Long time ago. Back in the... Good, tell you a story.

So I go with... I go with a nice guy now, though, right? I go with... Yeah, good guy. The long time ago. So Ben's sweet symphony is playing on the radio. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad.

Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. So, uh, I go into this place and I'm really excited. I got a fucking, I got a fucking rager dude. Just fucking before it even starts, right? I mean, by rager, I mean veins and everything is like, yeah, like I was ready to go and she clearly knew it. So I lay down and she was like, I had to go, usually go on your stomach first, but I was in no position to do that. So I go on my back first and she just, she gets the lotion and she starts doing it and it started feeling good really fucking early. And I've been to this place before. What started feeling good? Like it started to, like I knew it was. Describe it better.

Like I would, like I got that fucking warm feeling in my fucking feet. Like I was gonna blow a fucking load. But from what? From, she put like this hot cream on her hand. And then what you just started to fucking. And you just started to fucking. And just, listen, stroke what?

In my dick. You dick, you're cock, say cock. So she started to stroke my head. I was saying slowly, you're fucking slow. Slow down a little bit. Listen stroke what my dick you dick your car say cock Slow down a little bit. Yeah, so she started she started stroking on yeah, she started stroking my dick right She's going and all and she's like you know, she's got that fuck yeah, and then she does this shit Where she like started fucking with my nipple and shit? Weird but I was like it was good right spit your mouth and It was weird, but I was like it was good right? Spit in your mouth and That's what my mouth would have been next to my story so all of a sudden like not even 30 seconds in like she started doing this

Fucking move with her hand and I was fucking ready for what was the move? How'd she do it? I don't know dude But you try to do it on Joe show on Joe You know doing on the bottle open it just got a thick piece. I don't know what you get. Hey Show us I'm the way show us show us I don't know what you did. Show us how to lift. Show us how to lift. Come on Paul, what's up? Paul, we're breaking your barriers down. What do you, Paul?

Are you a comic or are you a ball player? Grab that dick and show us what you did. Grab that dick. Grab that dick. Grab that dick. Grab that dick. Grab that dick. Grab that dick.

I'm doing a little stuffy now. I'm doing a little stuffy now. That dick Doing something like fast like double-hand it on the dick man I'll do it No, I'll do it. Okay, well the go on the dead. I do it on me. I'm watching two six-year-olds Yeah, she's like doing some fucking like double-handed like thing and I wasn't ready and it was real early So I go put the dick in the middle of his mouth. Well, you say I go Call the Indian sunburn so I go and she's like maybe like eight strokes in dude Yeah, just just started and I go oh

Like ma'am like I didn't know what the fucking saying I started to try to tap her and she's like looking the other way and I go oh No, no, no, I love that you're just interested. Yeah What the fuck is saying I started to try to tap her and she's like looking the other way and I go oh no And it's really really early in the thing I go, but you might want to get a towel I got tried to and I just fucking shoot this fucking thing up And I just go like this and like one drop right here and one drop right here and I'm real squeamish Which shit like that with with vomit anything really and she looked and she goes oh Like she started to fucking laugh Yeah, I'll get it off get it shit like that with vomit, anything. Really? And she looked and she goes, oh, like she started to fucking laugh. And I go, get it off, get it off. Like I fucking got really mean.

I go, get it off. You're like, what the fuck, you know? There's a hot and shit like a popcorn. You have come on your face. And she goes, you have come on your face. So that she goes, I make you pop Erie. I make you pop Erie. Oh, she got, she ran you out of the other way.

Yeah, no, that's what she did. That's what she did. It's her, it's her, I know how I'm. She did That's what she did she goes away. She leaves and all of a sudden she's going Oh, and then the other fucking woman go in and I have a conversation and both go And as she's wiping it off my fucking chin. They're fucking giggling. Yeah, I was fucking disgusted. So that's why I don't. You did good job, cowboy. You're a queen. You come quick. You should have hit me.

Nitta, I get you. I get you. Be buggy. I get home early. Nisha. Nisha. No, he last appointment of day. He like.

Oh, so what? My question is how do you him we see the toilet paper You come sponge So so how do you have you tasted your com how can I be you come on your stomach? I'll put it in your mouth. I'll put it in my hands It's Christ fucking Animals come your own hand on you swap it up like an oyster. Oh, a little bit of basketball, a little bit of lemon juice.

I've never been able to do it because I always have it in my mind. I'm like, I should taste what you've never done. No, because I'm like, I want to taste same because all these girls are, I just want to feel it. It's like, but then as soon as I come, I'm like, that's ridiculous. I don't want to do it. I'm like, yeah. And it's almost every time I jerk off.

I'm like, this is the time I'm 30. You experience this. Like I make girls do this. It can't be that bad. And then as soon as I come, I'm like, that's ridiculous. Why would I ever think that? What about you?

You like girl coming your mouth, right? You like woman coming. Oh yeah, yeah, that's different. I'm not talking about talking about come, my come out of a dip. I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that.

So, I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that.

I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. So, I don't like that. discharge. You know what that is right? Oh the military Honorable

Discharge out of the pussy It's like coffee grounds. Yeah, shit like that yellow chunky snout thing. Yeah, my girlfriend has I was on her left there I was trying the floor left there. I don't wanna leave. I was trying to be sensitive. Yeah, I was just kidding. You were convincing, I lay off that. Honestly, girls' stick. Discharged, and it comes out, and it's fucking gross. It's like coffee grounds.

Right, so you don't want to swallow that. Yeah, and then I don't like anything, I don't like piss, I don't like anything that shit. And I'm not gonna have, I don't mind our girl coming on me. Wait, will you go down in a chick, though? I'll definitely go down in a chick, but I'm gonna come out the, come out the, come out the, come out the, come out the, what you said? No, no, no, if she, if she's not good at it, if she shoots, I was spray into my mouth, like a skunk, I will throw up on her pussy.

Wow. Bobby, get away from me, You're getting near my territory. Fff. That's it. Then it does pepilipi. You're voice. Do you like it, Dylan? I've never been squirted upon. Never, never.

But you wouldn't mind it. No. Really? I've had a girl leak all in my office. No. What do you mean? Why do you scrub it like a legged old poilder? Because it didn't really get any.

You just need to change your push, man. Harris, you'd let a chick vomit on you and no Yeah, you would Yeah, you would I didn't say anything I don't know that's disgusting you fucked up Yeah, but you definitely took like a good like three Mississippi singing about it. No, no, no Not at all has got to be Mississippi. Yeah, why can't it be what can be ill-enores Has got to be Mississippi. Yeah, why can't it be what can be ill noise? You you're fucked up, section. Yeah, I don't I don't say that in a bad way. I get it look I don't give fuck what people do. I mean, I have you know my friends. They're fucking degenerates

Let's let's get into the finger in the old butt Topic vote me. I vote no anymore because I don't know if you can. I'll tell you one thing I'm not interested in. You know what? It's freaking out. It's about like a bone. Hey Bobby, what?

I tell you what, it's freaking I am. I tell you what I have not done. And I don't want to do it. Actually, anal fuck. I've never fucked a girl in the ass. What? Really? Because shit is disgusting to me.

And if I don't want to be. You can shit on your chest though. No, not my friend in my. I don't want any shit on my dick. I don't like to smite. I don't want to be able to tell. Shit I don't want you can shit on your chest though. No, not not my friend am I I don't want any shit on my dick I don't like to like like I don't want to be able to tell shit in your dish again. You can I heard you could tell you can But like you don't store shit in your ass. Oh, you don't you're cold, but you have loose and some shit up in there But here's a deal of the girl. It knocks something loose Yeah, if the girl doesn't know how to get fucked in the ass and

There is some shit left in her ass hole from the shit that she cut off at lunch. Right. That's subway. You, you, you can get shit. I fuck girls, I fuck girls in the ass and you pull your dick out and it stinks. I had a seat on it one time.

I don't want that. I'm like a brown butt seat and I flicked it off instinctively. And then I just went across the room and like hit a white ass shit seat. That's not a line. It's probably still there off instinctively and then I just went across the room and like Still there Some artists is living there I actually put boogers in hotels under the desk I put under the desk I'll put a booger and if I have a comeback the hotel try to get that same room

Oh, yeah, I'll try to see if the booger's still there. Yeah, if good. Yeah, if you're ever in a hotel, check underneath the desk, if it's a booger, it's me. It could be me. There's a lot of people boogers. You got to put them on there. Well, I have I have two beds. I put them on the other bed the whole time. I had a kidney bean skin on my fucking finger once. What now? kidney bean skin. Okay, you know, the kidney bean from someone's butt, you know, a kidney bean, right? Yeah, you cook it and then you mush the meat

out of it and there's just the skin left. Yeah, in a rass hole. I was thinking fucking around. No! Oh my god. No, was it under the nail? That's what I just said.

It was on the nail, it was on top of it. Like I pulled my finger out. Sorry about how Bob got hepatitis. I kind of dug it out last just because. Oh my god, that's the worst. Yeah, that made me puke. Bob, that's cool. I actually swallowed toilet paper off a chick's pussy

I'll lose a heart on it if I'm fucking a chick and I see toilet paper render ass I was eating to grow out And and he's Boston this is time broad and I had gum in my upper up here and I was eating a pussy out and he's Boston this Italian broad and I had gum in my up up or up here And I was eating a pussy and then I felt the water toilet paper going my mouth And I spent the gum out and swall the toilet paper Oh, I just went up to it. It's been sitting in a stomach ever since I just fucked up. She goes with throwing her own nothing Wow Well, at least it wasn't on her ass hole

I don't know, I mean I've had dangle berries, those gross me out Yeah, dangle berries, I was 69ing with a dangle berry on the girl on a dangle berry Oh my god Look, you're banging a lot of bros This face is a lamb, this is a lamb, sorry Dylan, Dylan, oh my god But here's a deal, listen, you're banging a lot of bros on the fly Especially when I was younger in comedy, you meet these chicks at clubs and you're hanging out until four or five in the morning,

and then all of a sudden you're back. I mean, the chick, you know, she sweats and whatever the fuck she was doing all day, and she's drunk and you take her pants down. There's a couple of tingle berries, you know what I mean? What are you gonna do? You're gonna get a truck stop all day. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what you're talking about.

You're talking over. Can everybody not fucking talk over everybody what I had a dog down soft I know what dingle berries off, but what's a girl's dingle berries like what is same as a regular fucking? Borgleberry. That's a little pebble looks like rabbit food It's like a loose it caught up in the hair. Yeah, hang on the ass hair ass hair pussy Yeah, I mean, I mean, how is shit hanging over pussy hair? Okay, I get it now. Oh my god. Yeah, I mean, I know how is shit hanging over pussy hair? Huh? You heard me. Yeah, maybe she wiped back the front. Yeah, maybe she wiped back the front to animals that Yeah, I really I eat ass, but I don't fuck it man. You eat ass because my tongue can't go far down to dislodge anything I like eating ass. I love I love to look ass

Me too. I like fucking a girl. He asked because it but I don't it's like this It's just like I know it's terrible and it's so bad some girls. I like I like I like when a girl goes you want to fuck Has and I don't want to but I'm like I do now Makes perfect sense because it's the talk. It's the fact that yeah, and then wants it and then. I don't know what that makes sense. It makes perfect sense. It makes perfect sense. Because it's the talk, it's the fact that it's... Yeah, and then wants it. And then she, I don't want to, the whole hog to go up it,

but she tries to put my helmet in it, and it, oh, you can feel it different. She was, and then when it goes in finally, you're like, oh, you're just a dirty girl. Did I just fucking, I was fucking a doggy style, and my dick wasn't big enough to satisfy her black pussy. So she was like slamming her ass. Why I'm supposed to be black, though?, that's what it was okay. It was

I'm not the king week. I That's why I'm telling the story I Fucked up man. Is anybody else to work and nose feel weird? What my nose feels like I'm catching a cold Am I fucking dying? Because you're immune system in shit. Am I fucking dying? No, he's just.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm taking it right when you're sitting. Oh, man. Oh, man. I'm sorry. Did this shit, so she said a slam in her ass into my pelvis area and it hurt. I mean, it's actually hurting my pelvis because I couldn't get my dick deep enough.

She wanted a deeper. So I just took my dick out of her pussy and I just jammed it right up her ass. Oh, street justice. God, oh, my kids here this podcast one day. Oh, shit. So you know what I did? I said, hear this podcast one day. Oh shit. What do we do? So you know what I did? I said if this dick doesn't satisfy your pussy,

it's gonna satisfy my pussy. He started eating a chocolate bar. Is this a chocolate that shit? What are we hiking? You got a granola bar? It's not chocolate. I'm sorry, I'm hungry. It's not my guttuality shit.

It's a shit bar. It's my shit bar. Dylan, Dylan. I haven't eaten. Dylan's a fucking, he's a little hungry. Let him have some chow Um the chocolate bar is a bad church. So you have you have not a chocolate bar. Yeah, you have shit bar It's a weird show man. Yeah, what time I was fucking a girl the ass, but I was dating and she said I need you to come in my ass

I came immediately it was the hottest Yeah, you just made it you just made my dick move And the whole time you were like, I'm gonna swallow this, come. I just got a hair. When you did it, you were like, yeah, why would I do that? I just like, I wanna see Joe right before he comes.

Just, you get swall that come, or a kitchen, swallow it, and he's like, oh, fuck. I am, this is what's happening to me. The reason why I wanted all your kid and motherfuckers on is because, and I know you guys, you guys all have kids. I really want to know because I'm getting really today. It really hit me.

You get the anxiety of my life being changed forever. I've been a selfish prick since I was very young. Still are. Part of it out of survival I had to be. I had to take care care myself most of my life And then especially now in the last 15 years because of comedy and all that I get to be I get to wake one up when I want to take Naps whatever the fuck I want I can get and now that's all gonna go away And I'm gonna I'm not gonna be able to take a nap when I want to I'm not gonna be able to watch a TV movie when I want to

I'm not gonna be able to go out to dinner when I want to. And now it's starting to steamroll. All those things are starting to add up. I'm actually doing things for the last time. It's not true, you can do it for that show. You just can't do it with your girl. See? Well, I mean, seriously, I mean,

if you're gonna afford a nanny, you can still do all that shit. Nobody says you can't be a shitty dev. Yeah. I had one. You can't do all that shit. Nobody says you can't be a shitty dev. I had one. He's dead. I don't know why you have to put the end of that story in there, but I'm sure I'm sure Lewis knows a few nannies that he can hook you up with, you know, what is family? He's got some cousins that will be O-Pairs. Bill, yes. You can take that.

What is the one thing that you, if you could go, you could have back? What would it be? Or if maybe not, maybe not. I mean, but if you could, no, there's things. Like you said, I mean, just the ability to just leave. Yeah, that sucks. I mean, that's it. just the ability to just leave. Yeah, that sucks.

I mean, that's it. Just the ability to go out and- To leave that bitch go west, go Vegas. It's almost, it's near impossible to get work done because there's, you know, I have a 16 month old and a four year old. Wow. So they're all, they're just constantly moving

and my job is to make sure they don't kill themselves. Time down. Yeah. So, I'm like, I'm a soda, I gotta make sure it's good. Nike will work very well. Yeah, me and Joe do that for each other. Give me a little bit of my skin. So, I had a couple of my cool, you go.

So, you know, there's a lot of, there's a lot of planning involved. Like, if me and my wife are going out, we know we're going out like two weeks prior. Really? Well, you have to make sure we have somebody to watch them. Right. And then...

Or you can let Nike will watch them and they'll be sleeping. What is that? What the fuck, you kid-be-kids, Nike? Oh, seriously, if you do, please tell me. No, no, no, no. I'm just joking, Bob. Jesus Christ. You're not kidding, you're a child, right?

Bob even got a kid yet, he's on a serious... It's one of those things. I can tell this fucker with you. Once you have a kid, you can only leave the house for like something really important, like talking about getting fucked in the ass. And drinking baby milk. Yeah, baby milk. Yeah, you can't, you can't.

Like you said, you can't, like for me sleeping is a huge part of my fucking game. Like if I don't get a hour. You're depressed. If I don't get a career. If I don't get a career. I don't you career the more you're awake the more you think about it I think sleeping is a big part of everybody's no but I know people I know people that I know people that could go four or five hours of sleep and still function I'm I can't I can't do that

like I'm really bad with me yeah if I get five hours that's fine yeah no see like if I get five hours I'm fucking miss you Paul you're coming a lot of rules you know no it's tough it's tough and like I can't like I like sports I can't watch these games these NFL games I can't, like, I like sports. I can't watch these games, these NFL games. I can't watch them because upstairs on my sony, so you're like looking at the play and you just miss it. But like, you can't, like if you're hungry right now, right? You can go to the fuck if you have to.

No, middle of the night, if I have a craving for something, I can't just get up and leave and go do it. I can't fucking do it. It's annoying. Like you said, leaving. You can't fucking leave, dude. I can't have it. Yeah, I'm gonna tell you what sucks, dude. I'm off those right now. We had the baby three weeks ago, and you can't fuck do it. It's annoying. Like you said leaving can't fucking leave dude. Okay. I have yeah I'm gonna tell you what sucks dude. I'm off to this right now

We had the baby three weeks ago and you can't fuck for six weeks So I'm just walking around with a fucking boner like I'm gonna turn on by Harris's face Did he look kind of turn me on spitting his mouth Harris? It looks like a black person. I'm not worried about the fucking part I'm not I'm not worried. I know I'm not worried about the fucking part. I'm not worried. I know, I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about what I'm really worried about is my fucking life changing forever. But it's good, it's great.

Yeah, but it's motivation. That's the thing, dude. Like now I can't fail. I am, but I can't. I can't. You need to know how to bend. Is that bullshit, though? Everybody says that when you have a kid,

it changes everything and you really take life serious Is that real I just hit my carolins on Broadway dude it did when you look into that baby's face You're gonna do everything you can to try to see that that's the thing looking at it Cuz you don't visualize it like my wife would be like look feel there's a bump and like I would be like not that I was a dick, but I'd be like yeah, she'd be like you're not really into it. Are you like I do there's a bump It's you know he's kicking and I'd be like it and but when I saw his face, not that I was a dick, but I'd be like, and she'd be like, you're not really into it. Are you like, there's a bump is, you know, he's kicking and I'd be like, it's just one, but when I saw his face, it was over.

I'm really, how many goes, when he says daddy for the first time, you're gonna do everything you can to take care of it. So it's, it's, I'm really into having the baby. I touch the baby all the time. I'm into the bump. I'm into the sonic ramb. You go to all the appointments. Open the service.

I fucking talk to the belly. I read stories. You go to all the appointments. I open in the cervix. I fucking talk to the belly into the body. I read stories. I go at all the appointments. I do. I'm into this. Who's belly do you talk to? My wife's belly. Did you get the 3D image yet?

That's the 3D image for me is what fucked me up. I was like, all right, that is fucking crazy. I got fucked up at the Sonic there. At the time, he talked to me. When I start moving. Yeah. When you heard the heartbeat. When I heard the heartbeat, and I start move,

it stopped my world. I was like, oh my God, this is fucking, this is what I've tried to avoid forever is here. What I've tried to not have my whole sexual life is here and it's looking right and it's real and it's alive. And there's nothing I can do about it. There's no going back. And then I start having these fucked up fantasies,

terrible fantasies, these day dreams. And I don't know if it's just me where bad shit happens to my baby and my wife. You know what I mean? Where I'm like, like, you know, there's subway people pushing people, nothing. Of course.

Like I just have one today. I'm just lying there and all of a sudden it goes into my head and I'm like, oh my God, what if I get pushed on a subway and like the baby and I throw I like I like I get killed but the baby lives because I threw the baby You have the arms like That crazy shit all normal dude that's all normal and I have I have like fucked up OCD thoughts

And I love my son so much when he was born that my anxiety and OCD was what I do something to hurt him Because I love them so much. I never loved like that before and then I was like what if I could you could hurt that's all normal Like landing from what you might send men just petting him. It's like you get scared You're gonna split out the N word when there's black people around that same kind of tight neck That's totally normal. I just had a I just had a dream the other day that my youngest died Yeah, yes, and I looked at him dead. Hey, geez. It's awful. Oh, here's the thing Yeah, you guys up it's so funny that you how old deal 30 oh deal 29 about to be 30. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna Like I have friends like Norton. Yeah, I don't know if he's ever gonna have a baby. Mm-hmm. I don't know you don't I mean

Do you honestly think he's gonna have a baby ever? I don't know man. He's not he's not 50. He's 43 or 40 something 44 I mean he's not I know people that have had babies at 50. I mean it does happen now It's not out of the ballpark to have a kid late and who knows? I know that there's people in his life That he's been serious with that he's still around. I mean I have a sex addiction too that I've overcome What the fuck is that what does that mean? Why were you laughing? What the fuck they just why Sex it is just like the thing would are you laughing at me or laughing at the sex addiction? All right, I thought you were laughing at me. It's funny You laughing at me or laughing at the sex addiction. A sex addiction thing.

Oh, all right. I thought you were laughing at me. It's funny. No, no, no. You're laughing at the sex. You don't believe in sex addiction. No, no, I do. I do.

I don't know if I believe in addiction. I just think people like the fuck. I don't know if it's an addiction. Well, some people pay for it. Some people are out there spending a lot of money and it's for the actual hunt to find it and all that. All the shit that goes back and forth before it, to build up, the build up to get to the sex, to get to the money, to get to the ejaculation.

As soon as it's over, you're like, ah, fuck me. It's like fucking dingle barring, it's over. Did I order to hook her one time and I jerked off before she came in and then I just didn't answer my doorbell? Yeah. It's such a poor, very good way of doing it. The seediness is coming in, that is just fucking jerked off. She takes you back, you fucking jerk, because I'm out, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like I'm married that, you know, fuck. That's it. I'm never gonna do the crazy shit I've done. I'm not gonna have two chicks suckin' my dick again.

Passionate booby. Yeah, that's all dead. Now it's gonna, I had to go, I had to make, fuckin' my chick, weird. Like you know what I mean? Like that was hard to do to go and eat my chicks pussy. Like I would eat some random chicks pussy I just met so I had to switch this I had to switch my brain over like this is harder to do let me

fuck with this let me try to do this and make this a little weird and and what my brain switched over and it was it's still fucking tough dude I still close my half way through and imagine some fucking dude hold on my head down on his wife's pussy. You know what I mean? I still have the crazy thoughts, but without the crazy shit. But who's that? Who's the good guy? You wearing a wig? No, I'm wearing a wig.

Kali Fistoka. Alright, anyways. I am, no, I'm kidding. Cali, sit down right here. There's a mic. Where's the mic? Lewis has got it? No, hi, Baba.

It's my life, and it's now or never. Sit right here. I thought I had a mic for you. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. There's eight mics. Where's the other mic? That's okay. How was your five day flight?

I like that I asked her when she, we just established she doesn't have a mic. And then I'm like, hey, tell me a story. It's like when the dentist will ask you a question. Yeah, exactly. Oh. What's up, Bill Cosby himself? Oh.

Do you know that bit? Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, Do you know that bit? Yeah? Oh yeah, you're a hack, Joe. That's what he's saying. Bill and his cold Joe. Yeah, that one, that one went. Oh, there we go. Hey, that's the one.

I was literally, I put a mic for her, and I was sitting there just stoned. I forgot where the fuck I put it. I'm sorry. Fistook is back, everybody. Hey guys. We're just talking about babies. Oh, we have some milk. Wanna drink some milk?

No. Is everyone else been drinking it? Is it all gone? It's all gone We drank it you'll drink it. Give me five minutes like it or some more though Let me ask you question really quick in the room. Do you regret do you honest to God? Yes, you got I know I know what you're gonna Say Paul's gonna say they regret their kids probably Do you regret drinking that man? Do you regret having kids at all? And like I'm talking just a minute,

oh my God, in the back of your brain, when you buy your, is there a little party that's like fuck at all? Or does that all go away when you have the kids? It's like, I wanna kill this motherfucker in the back of my mind, but you're not gonna fucking do it. Not the kid, but just like. So yes, I'm done regretting. When the person, sometimes you go, you some man, I will kill him in the back of your mind, but you're not gonna fucking do it. Not the kid, but just like, so yeah, so does regret it.

Random person, sometimes you go, you some man, I will kill him in the back of your mind, but you would never do it. But it's been time, especially when he was younger, younger. Like, I was, I didn't want it. This has been time, yeah. So you admit it. Yeah.

There was times you're like, fuck it, I didn't want it, and I got it, you had to deal with it. You had to overcome this. So I might, It only lasts a second though, it's not one of those things. Yeah, look, I mean, it's like when, you know, when someone old and your family's gonna die you for a second you go Doesn't he have a watch?

And then you like fuck that fuck that fuck tap here But you still thinking about that watch and then later you like I wonder if he's gonna leave the house to me Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a look at mud later. It's like yeah Watch like over the house going through a shit? Yeah, there was a watch grandma. I'm so sorry, but did people have that watch dresser Was it this is just look to the stressor? Paul was there a moment when he's about to have the second one you went

Why not just do it because the first one we finally got a hold of it We we you know he was in daycare everybody start we started sleeping We had a schedule and then all of a sudden my wife was pregnant with my daughter. And then that just like all the sudden is fucking thing, man. Yeah, it was fucking nuts. And that everybody says that everybody says, fuck two. Two is the hardest thing I've ever done. Everybody says fuck to except for the Godfather,

part two. I could. Father and son of Kelly, are you pregnant? Except for the godfather, part two, I could have done it. I could have done it. Really bad. You can't have fun. Kelly, are you pregnant? No, be kind of one, because everyone I know is an only child, grow up to be a weed-o. I'm a walnut-jowl. Yeah, exactly. When you see...

Ah! Kelly's back! Kelly's back! Kelly's back! They're not even easy. They're not talking about her back. She's not a skin-hanging from it. Ah!

I loved it. What do you say Versi his water Earlier That would a verzy as I thought a version was talking like your black we got to choose one It could also be coming in your own face You fast cowboy Oh shit people it could also be coming in your own face So does water is opaque Just wanted to use the word opaque sorry

Kelly how was how was Australia? It was great. It was really good. You glad to be back Not when it's minus ten outsides. Oh, what's that for you guys? 30 something? Get out, get out right now. I'm back to your fucking country. It's a really particular moment. I'm totally fine. Goofy fucking temperatures. Yeah. She's really cold.

She hasn't been here in a month. I know. You guys haven't even fucking, I mean, literally, you went, hey, you started a time. I knew it. What if I was the biggest big like happiness ever Kaley's back. Oh show's over I Shit, I'm glad that Kelly's back

Kelly's back. I'm glad that she's There's a lot of fans that are glad you're back I'm present for you guys you go what I got I got presents give him after Harrison and Paul leave Let's I want to join my press you could just spit in Harris's hand and fucking Have Paul come on his own face. Yeah, and just And the killing fuck you in the ass. You've never done that And you're married Dylan. I am married and you're married. Yeah, and you're not you're married to That was a fucking star your type of something. You just she was a black

You're the person Seven years shit dude you're 10 years. Yeah, I worked with Harris isn't even just newly married. He's been married the whole time. You've known him. Oh, he's been married a month. Do you think he looks like Morgan Freeman? Does anybody get that joke? Yeah, thank you. I don't get it. Oh, I keep talking to him. Oh, man, you know, some people write about comedy and some people do it.

Yeah. No. I forgot you, Mary, for 10 years. That's a long time. Yeah, try that bandarit a fucking Dylan's what is that what is this? Indiana, you know what? What people people don't talk about the regress with with with your girl It's good. What what's gonna happen is this like and this is something that you didn't touch on yet Yeah, buddy if you if you see your son or your daughter Yeah, I'm having a boy. And you're having a boy?

Yeah. Congrats. Thank you, buddy. So, son, that's the best son. That's the best son. The boys is the guy that I'm the boy son. Yeah, I can't. For real, that's for real, no.

Yo, man, that's the shit. Let me finish this story. I just did my own face. You know, for real, no. I said, that's the shit kid. What the fuck? Don't worry about it. That nigga gonna be funny.

That ain't gonna end well. That ain't gonna end well. It was coming. Thank you. No, I get the boys shit. What were you saying? What I was saying was, what's gonna happen is, when you feel like you can't handle it,

and you're really fucking scared, and you're thinking about your life, you're gonna be, oh. You're gonna be, oh. You're gonna be, oh. You're gonna be, oh. You're gonna be, oh. I'm leaving guys, that's the high water mark for Lewis. That was good. Oh, shit. Go ahead, finish your rap. You can't, when you think leaving handle the truth, I'll back you up, and I'm here for my son.

Just a two, bro. Yo. You think that's the scissor? I'm here for my son. Oh, shit. Go ahead. Go ahead. So, yeah, when you can't handle it.

When you can't handle it, you can't handle it you can't You can't leave your Just like that. He's trying to talk like a white guy down like if you if you really just feel like you're fucking the walls are coming in You can join me with a girl you believe the walls are coming in and the clouds are going strong and your son And believe like he ain't gonna make it long You gotta make it long you gotta believe You think I meant to hurt you Walls close in when the walls close in and the lights go down

And your son looks up and begins to frown You hold that child as tight as you can Thank you man, I'll take a comment from you. That's okay. You're from Brooklyn Listen so good finish your ball wrapped that up, man. You wanna go ahead the head, but you can't. You can't, man. I have to go, what the fuck up? You can't, you can't, you can't. You can't just, next to the mic, next to yo yo check it, check it, next to the mic, we got from Westchester, Kisco Lake, motherfucker in the house.

No, you can't leave, you can't leave. I can't leave. I can't leave. You can't leave. You can't leave. You can't leave. It's just your girl and you've like fucked this, but you can't, you're stuck. You stuck.

I think the guy that's pointing, he's trying to make it. No, that's my point. My point is when you... You mean the point Delan made around 20 minutes ago? You can't leave. We all went, oh, I can't. No, no, no, no, no, I'm not saying that. He means in a larger sense.

You can't just leave your blood. You're gonna lie your hands. Like... I thought you had bandages swabs the whole time When it's just the two of you and you can leave you can leave your girl, right? But you leave your entire family I'm doing a Louis CK It's assholes too

If you if you leave your girl and you don't have a kid, you're fine, you're Scott Fried's done. But if you leave her and your son is there, your son is fucked up. Is that you? He becomes me. You can't handle the life. That's suck your dick, what are you gonna say?

He won't suck your dick. He becomes me, but he won't suck your dick. Don't you say that. Okay, I'll suck your dick. So you'll put up with more. Yeah, so to make man right. I have no intentions on leaving my check at all. I mean, I'm, this is what scares me,

is that I'm not scared. Do you understand what I'm saying? That's what's freaking me out. That I'm, and what happens, all this anxiety starting to build up to where, oh my God, like everything's about to change in a dramatic way in my life. And the last vacation I went on, that's it.

I'm not going on vacation. I don't think unless the kids coming for a long time, for years. I mean, me and my wife were in the ocean. We took an nap. We didn't get a vacation with you in your kid. Yeah, but the freedom you have when it's just you and your wife is way different. Now, in a vacation with suck with the kid.

Yeah, yeah. But she's gonna like it. Family and all this. Like, ugh. Look, man, I can't wait. I saw this, this is gonna sound fucking, I don't give a shit. It's gonna sound faggy as how corny is all how. I wanna suck this.

Yeah. I wanna get these all. That's just a thing. We're gonna get butt fucked by some strapping Italian man. Guys, dude, this is gonna sound fatty, but I want two dicks of my mouth at once. Dude, this gets everything fatty. Did you all come in that cup and let me drink it? I want to drink cum milk.

See how Paul feels when he was trying to get his lyrics out? Yeah. He didn't even let him get 12 bars. He keeps trying. I just, I know. Paul just kept doing the bridge over and over again. When the walls are closing in. And you're son smiling down.

Bobby, I have a question for you. Do you turn that smile into a frown? No, I'll put that up, shit, go. Do you plan on, you're very into it. I think that's very cool. Do you plan on watching, when she gives birth, do you plan on watching like from the ego's nest? Yeah, yeah.

Browning, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? My girl's doctor made me. Well, you should have done that. I thought you tried to make me. She made me, she said, no, I'm the way. Because she wanted me to, because Beatrice was in labor for 24 hours, yeah, go.

And I'm not doing it, but go ahead. Nobody makes me lose. I'm on my side. So she did, and she won, she was getting really tired and exhausted. So the doctor wanted me to encourage her to push. So I was like, I was up here, you know, by her head, like looking down, being like, all right, this is cool. And the doctor said, come here, tell her what you see.

And I had to go over and be like, oh my god, kill it. You're splitting, you're splitting, you're from China. Pussy is so ugly. Oh, gross. But no, you don't, because let me tell you something, Bobby, don't watch it. I'm gonna tell you what, I'll watch it. No.

Because it'll, dude, I'm telling you, I'm not disgusting, dude. It's not. That's just point of view, it was disgusting. No, it's beautiful, dude. I know, I know. You're not, I know. I'm gonna look at a blood coming out of it. Hey, go watch that again. Oh, that's not That's this point of view it was discussed. No, it's beautiful Dude, I look at a blood come back. Oh I know I know right but I use the word blood to make us out of Mortis. Oh, you can't describe describe piss for me, but you can describe fucking

I just told you what it looks like makes no placents Yeah, I like it. No, no You can't just decide that you're like he'll laugh at it. No, we all laugh at everything Three days you stir crazy I for one miss Kelly a lot But it was funny I like Delivery Taking her out of a fucking tank that you put people You know what's the best part of this hands went up like you just got to touch down

That's a little bit happy Listen and delivery was a bit of a pun there too. I'm not I'm not gonna watch it and and and even what my wife doesn't want me seeing it either Cuz she's like I don't want I really don't and I'm like good. I agree with you And I'm gonna tell the doctors. I don't want to see it okay I'm not gonna I'm not going to tell that shit I'm going to be there I'm going to be in there with her I'm going to hold her hand I'm going to be north of the border and if the doctor says I need if they go you have to hold this leg up I'm going to go no you need to fucking get an assistant no but what a hole I do what if your girl is in labor for 24 hours? Yes, okay, my girl's not gonna have that she's gonna be no

My crush pussy is huge dude. Uh, is it now it is Hammer goes down Good crossover plug no dude, but what if what if the doctor says like she wanted me to encourage you to push Yeah, by the way when I said to her I could see his head. I could see the hair She did you saw something fucking like calling her face, like she started really working that much harder, dude. You're, to be, you're not the kind of lighter.

Yeah. It's face. It looks like pinky in the brain. You can lie to her. You can say that I can see the head. You aren't just, I mean, I watched it both times. Yeah. You weren't like super just curious to see.

I'm super not curious. Because I'm not, I'm not. I'm super just curious to see. I'm super not curious. Because I'm not, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not, I don't know what that guy wants to watch you be heading either. Just face is a dead. I don't want to watch that.

I'm not into it. I don't want to be, well that's, I don't want to be way big fucking range. I don't want to know. I know it's not. You don't want to watch your baby being born. No, I don't want to watch my baby being born.

And I don't want to watch someone's head cut off. Because it makes the same sound. I don't want to watch you baby being born. No, I don't want to watch my baby being born and I don't want to watch someone's head cut up. Because it makes the same sound. I don't remember any sounds. I don't want to be in the blood. I don't want to be de-centitized to my wife's pussy. I can't even look at a blood. I don't want to look at it in a fucked up way.

Okay. I like my wife's pussy. I like my wife's pussy. To my son's birthday party and I'm not going to a dog fight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like my wife to my son's birthday party and I'm not going to a dog fight Yeah, like a lot of things don't affect you I didn't see me because I thought I you know, I know Dylan

But I didn't know you had that weird side to you too like the sexual freaky side. I mean who doesn't I mean anybody here I mean Paul doesn't this guy is very repressed. I got to say I mean whoa his his't? I mean anybody here, I mean Paul doesn't. This guy is very repressed, I gotta say. I mean, whoa. His life. What the hell, man, I'm gonna punch you in the face. Yo, yo, yo, yo, drop a beat, son, drop a beat, yo. He's trying to battle me. So he's trying to battle me. Oh, Dylan, what'd you be saying to me?

Fuck you up, one, two, three. I'm scussed, spook. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. Wait, he's not repressed. He's just a nutspot. Where's he look really sad when he said that? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? I Know Sad when he said that what do you mean you like this? What do you mean? I mean just just you look down like when the fact that like a drop of your own Come almost like ruined your fucking life

Yeah, it's like yeah, and that Chinese ladies fucking business I have to clean our day now cuz you like no, I'm into my shit. I have my Like you broke my little kid with the You got over bookcase What Oh, what the fuck is that? He is in Harris, he's a fucking jeer now. That's queer. He's off the charts, dude.

You're all like a fetish. I got a question. Hang on, shut up, go ahead. I got a question. All the things Harris is talking about are all pretty commonplace porn things. Which leads me to, it's not even fetish porn though. If foot fetish is absolutely a fucking fetish. No, no, no, I know, but like,

absolutely. Oh, what a vise. But like if you have fetish, if you watch even slightly mainstream porn, like the things he's describing, like I don't want to be in trouble. What is it? It is, you were a guy.

That's not, I watch a lot of porn. Nobody's spitting on the mouth. Yes, I'm getting out of dick. I'm spitting on a dick. And the mouth, no, spin, come on, the mouth. The mouth, the mouth. The mouth is like a girl's mouth and the other girl's mouth is common.

Listen to me, absolutely right. Most porn, okay. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, look in the pussy, suck in the dick and then we fuck regular and then doggie. Watch most porn. It's physically, that's what it is. And then the money shot.

Yeah. People don't spit in each other's mouths. That, that's a specific, a, a fetish of porn and food fetishes at total, they don't suck on feet in every porn. Absolutely not. I'm not saying, I'm not saying in every porn, I'm saying, not even in a, not even in a porn. In a half porn.

It's a very small percentage. Oh yeah. A lot of people like that. Very small percentage. I'm just saying, lot of people like that. Very small percentage. I'm just saying, nothing Harris has said so far has like, like blown my mind. Yeah, because you're a VURO 2 that I'm discovering. You're not dealing from laughspin.

I'm not. You're dealing with some laughspin? Yeah. Oh, hey. What's up? Hey. Can I show you the new demo we have for the Hammer Fist and Fire Love? Oh, real quick. I want to say that Dylan does have a new podcast that came on.

We do, we have the Lafspin podcast. What is it called? The Lafspin podcast. And where can you find it? It's on iTunes, it's on SoundCloud and it's on Stitcher. And what's the network that it's on? AllThingsComedy.com, which Bill Burr and Al Madrigal launched. Thank you for coming to Rattiecast with your podcast.

Sure. Appreciate that. Sure. They came to me. Who's one who initially told you to do a podcast? Robert Kelly. Oh, okay. Anyway, so that was it.

That was it. I'm glad you should check it out. Laspin.com, formally, what would I even forget the name? Punchline magazine, you see that. Punchline magazine. Yeah. Laspin.com, formally, what would I even forget the name? Punchline magazine, you see. Punchline magazine, yeah. Lashman dot com, formally, punchline magazine. But now you have a podcast which kind of wraps up the week. Yeah, it's like a 30 to 40 minutes comedy news wrap up.

We do audio clips and run, you know, talk about what's going on in the comedy world. I love it. I love it. Because you know why? I love those sites like laugh button, laugh spin, even cringe humor. Creech humor as a podcast, but not a, you know why I love those sites like laugh button laughs pin even cringe humor Creature man as a podcast it not a you know half-out wrap-up of what the fuck went on in comedy this week Whether it be whose new album came out or you know

Controversy or whatever the fuck happened in comedy. I love that you do that. I'm gonna definitely start checking that out You guys should too. Appreciate it Kelly let's I just want to get back to Kelly real quick. You've gone for a month. Yeah. Now you flew in today, 14 hours. No, how long? Like 25. And boy, and boy are the flaps under her arms tired.

Ha ha! Oh boy. I liked it. Yeah, I liked it. It was good. I would see. But now you came right to the fucking show. I know, I went home in a show.

Oh, you watched your pussy. Yeah. Okay. Did any sand come out of it or some brown recaluse spiders? No. I hope all you guys gifts. That's how you repay me. All right. Let's have the gifts. Bring up. Break them up. Are you gonna do to get a gift? It's the head of a koala! Never wronged on a string! I was scum. I'll bring back the hidden in every day I was Skyping with her Father's in the background he comes like in the doorway and I go hey dad and he's oh this guy if he's ever a fucking

God damn Australian exactly what you think, just way too nice. Hello, mate, all right, right. Hey, he's lies in the bed, who's that now? Is it Lord of Dyer? Just a nice, and I say, all right, now you take care of my little girl, now you look pretty, isn't she? Oh, lovely girl. All right.

Wait, why's your dad trying to get Bobby to fuck you? I don't wanna know. Show him your teeth, killing. Show him your teeth. Lovely girl Why is your dad trying to get Bobby to fuck you? Show me a teet's killing She's robbed for pretty one She's got some other reason to be a powerful little baby That's funny that was a gift to Gaby. What what do you have? So the first one this is for Dan. I will go to the most unimportant person to you first. This is for Dan. First time I've ever laughed at Kelly. I got Dan a gold astray or bronze astray. Oh thank you Kelly. That's for your dad's ashes. You

take the old. It's not. No. But throw it to him. Maybe it'll cut him. You bought me a fucking hockey tarts ball? Yeah! That's nice. That's nice. It's nice. Thank you. I thought it was just one of those ones that you get, like the, they're just plain gold

and you're just like, oh, I thought, did you steal this from a bowling alley? But it's actually in great. There's the Eiffel Tower on it. Because they stole it. That's a Melbourne Tower. Melbourne. There you go. Next is, that's okay.

Is Joe Liz? Oh, second closest. Sorry, everybody else. I'm sorry, I'm okay, is Joe Liz. Second closest. Sorry, everybody else, sorry to everyone else. Joe has an option, you can either get the pen with nail clippers. Ooh, that's practical. Give me the second.

There's an aboriginal. There's an apple face on this. Look at that, there's an aboriginal on the aster. So I gave it a Lewis, because he's a... It's so politically incorrect. I love it. Or a bottle opener. Ooh. Ooh.

Oh, I better go with the pen and nail clippers. You want the pen and nail clippers? Yeah, I'll take the pen and nail clippers. Yeah. Drink and J. Things have changed, Kelly. Really? I was just kidding.

Tell me it was a keychain. It was exciting. And then for Lewis, we got a kangaroo with boxing. Oh, that actually, I like that. Yeah, that was a shame. Why did you get a way more thoughtful gift than us? Because I've got a ball of love for you. Well, you know what, Bobby, that's what I miss, dude.

I miss getting gifts from me. Everyone's like, oh, I got you something. Here's something for your fucking kid. I had nothing. Lewis, I'm kidding, I'm a fucking kid. Dad of the year. He's already winning it. He's like like what's up with my kid getting all the My dogs is gonna tell us apart in the name and then for Bobby. We've got a collab

It is the same body as Bobby Is he gonna get a nice little surprise the other one see I squeeze the other one. You know what dude? I'm working over the other pull. It's broken. What if one of Paul's rats come up? Is that their national anthem? It's a new pop song in Australia. Oh, and I also got Bobby some homemade prosciutto that my dad made. Oh, what? Oh, Bobby.

Oh, dude? Oh, Bobby. No, Bobby. Oh, dude. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Bobby's gift and fucking titty milk went all over There's paper towels underneath there. Do you want this? Don't use that this paper towels Dylan, what are you gonna use my fucking band? I was I was trying to act quickly Well, he's not bleeding. It doesn't need a fucking turn of kids. It was on his phone

I would be freaking out your phone call I would be free to get on your phone call On the back of the back. I'm the best parent you've built Teddy Moose. You moved for the prosciutto and I fucking pump fake Me from another country your dad your dad made that yeah Yeah, oh my god. It's been hanging in the garage for a while. Shakudari. You lost hikers You know I should get shouldn't have came on one land. It's a hoiker. The goat was. You like my daughter?

Yeah. That's Kelly's ex-boyfriend. We've been keering him in the garage forever. Yeah. That's my dad. No. We got a pee, is that okay? Yeah, but.

No, you hold it. You sit there and you fucking hold it. Put it in a glass that everyone drink it. Is that what you guys are doing? No? Should I get a bandit? Ha ha. Fuck you. Kelly, so welcome back. We had? Is that what you guys are doing? No? Should I get a bandit? Kelly, so welcome back.

We had three people that missed you. Three people. I did not get a few nice messages, and then I got a fucking son of a bitch message like on my Facebook. Well, it's just like on my Facebook, like everyone's like, see you later. Bye, like my dad liked the status,

and these asshole comes in, and he's like, well, hope you don't come back to the podcast because it's so much better without you. That was jealous. I don't like my ad. What? Well, my dad reads that you fucking dumb wigger. Like he's in his dumb house. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, POSL Wigger.

Come down with that word. Kelly, what are they saying? I hate your puns. I mean, it's W. I hope you don't come back to the podcast because it's better without you. I haven't heard that word. And he's pizza. Like, it looks like a fucking idiot. You lose.

I suck a dick. Oh wow. Oh wow. She's, you look at someone's punch. I would like to let everybody know here that Dylan from Last Man who's peeing right now has been fucking tweeting for the last few minutes. What? Yeah.

Comedy Central has joined forces with serious exam. Eddie Murphy discovers Chris Rock's animation. The BBC seeks comedy scripts for sitcoms and sketches. He's been tweeting this? Maybe he's- I thought he was tweeting like hanging out with a bunch of assholes. Now, this guy's freaking out about tit milk.

Yeah, he's actually not even tweeting about us, he's just tweeting about other people. I don't think he's tweeted once since a, maybe he's tweeting right now, the bathroom is like, I'm gonna get these off. I'm gonna just fucking, this podcast is going nine hours. Oh, the guy I yelled at last week, Joe. Oh, yes, oh, that.

Joe, how about last week in the podcast? Yeah, you guys are, does anybody, please? I remember. Bobby, I remember. Hey, you got a name, dude, you got a name for your son? Yeah, oh, me, dude, what? I'm like, I'm like? I'm rubber telling her I yeah Right way to working on it we're working on it but I kind of do yeah

I do but I don't want to say it on the podcast you fucking moron Yeah, I know it is dude Yeah, I will work and I mean that's I mean we were lucky with that right out the gate I think we have pretty much the name we didn't go through yeah because you what happens is you tell this We you tell somebody the name and they go all you can't name it that oh you tell somebody that well Would they name did that so every name you come up with everybody's gonna excuse a why you shouldn't why you shouldn't name Your kid that the kid name is no msd Kelly We saw you we was good tweeting while you were here. What do you mean?

We saw you. We we was good tweeting while you were here. What do you mean? Exactly what he just said. I tweeted I tweeted before we started. We have four minutes laughspin comedy central and serious. Is that you? No. Oh, you know what? It must be discovered. Chris Rock. It must bit more careful. I'm gonna be a bit more careful. I'm gonna be a bit more careful. I'm gonna be a bit more careful. I'm gonna be a bit more careful. I'm gonna be a bit more careful. I'm gonna be a bit more careful. I'm gonna be a bit more careful.

I'm gonna be a bit more careful. I'm gonna be a bit more careful. I'm gonna be a bit more careful. I'm gonna be a bit more careful. I'm gonna be a bit more careful. I'm gonna be a bit more careful. Paul taking up smoking make it sure he's fine still working up a good breath Michael you gotta go no looking up how to get breast milk now he's nice on board now Paul's committed I just want to you guys know I have this the recording of this shut off around 48 minutes ago no no I'm kidding fucking my hair is gonna leave I think I want to fucking went through the

fucking fat jokes that just happened Anyways, I think we're wrapped man. I think we're gone. Kelly you got any of that Mika Rish no I got like some candy in there if you guys want to have some but what for you guys I'm by We're the push for you guys But yeah, I got the call yeah, okay get a call please and I've also got the cherry ripes there. They're really good to It's cherry with the chocolate on it. It's really good Dude, you better like cut it really fine because if you don't cut it, it's really salty. Oh Try to turn me on right now, right with that talk My meat talk. Yeah, you got to cut it real fine

I'm fine. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck.

Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck.

Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck. Cherry rife suck rowing coaches. Fucking. It's really good. All right. I was on the plane with

I like is there a doctor in the house we need a doctor to come and report while I'm like I'll never be able to officially stand up and help with some shit. I'm a center doctor like if they're like can we get a chance. No, no, no, no, I'm like. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no talking. Someone's gonna take over. That's all I can do. I don't think I'll ever. Someone who heard no last week assumed it was a bit you were running. Oh, good to have you back, Kelly.

Thanks for the extra. I'm glad to be back. Frurururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururururu Last week, Yannis was like, hey, I gave Kelly her first chance on stage ever in New York City. And I'm like, I love Yannis, but no, you did not. I've been living in the city for 18 months before Yannis was born. Does it bother you, Yannis? Does it bother you? There's a black guy in your seat. No, no, no.

She likes it. I'm sorry. No, it's okay, don't. It's a polish. No, not this one. I'm sorry, man. I'm MLK week, do it. You rolled the polo. You can do it. You want him MLK week, dude. Yeah. You wrote the part that you want.

He's translating. You wrote the parts that you want. You wrote the parts that you want. Shit all day, son. He's a beat. All day, son. Yo, yo, yo, yo. Peep this, peep this.

Well, all right, but well, yo, my man. Yo, my man. Uh, uh, uh. MLK week. Turn my mic up. Yeah. You guys here, you guys hear that Jerry Seinfeld is collaborating with Wallet, a hip-hop artist? Are you reading your own tweets right now?

Yeah. No, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, hop album? It's true. I'm not doing a whole album, is he he's collaborating with a meeting chocolate I don't know what Joe jokes over drape beats. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm in a Frankpeppe The vibe I'm in a Frankpeppe. I'm in a off. Yeah, no kind of weird off. Yeah, I'm in a fight There's a dead silence. It's just hey, he just brought up a I'm just stuffing my fat face. That's why I was bringing it up You ever been afraid? Bobby, you're coming to Delhi every once in a while. You ever got Korean barbecue? No

Yeah, it's like we know it's really interesting. Yeah, Jerry Seinfeld is a Kelly Salty pork I'm saying on the bowl with his conversation. We were talking about rap. Yeah, yeah Not you him. I actually met with the production company today about a show pilot was shooting in a couple weeks. Which might kill me. What's the call?

It's called the walk-on flight of stairs. Yes! That's a good one. It doesn't need a fucking pepper. Yes relax. We got it Dince Otters Joe Lister Jimmy Hart this week Yeah, we gotta eat it's a food show So we got we got to eat oh man It's called we got a

We're nervous man. It's like who's we me and Sharad small Maraud doing the pilot together and I love his work on the electric company We got a We watch now we're gonna have It's good. It's good. Yeah, we're getting two TVs in my house. One for the kid and one for me. Yeah, it's a food show. So we're gonna eat and there's some competition to it.

Not like man versus food where he has to finish, you get a T shirt and himself. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty crazy. Not that way, you can actually give up. You can tap out, it's a t-shirt and a himself. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty crazy. Not that. You can actually give up. You can tap out. It's like the UFC instead of boxing. Boxing is you have to get knocked the fuck out

to, you know, you can't just give up really. It's frowned upon. And UFC, you get to tap out and it's not. The same thing. We get to tap out and say, fuck it. But I'm a little nervous, you know what I mean? Because I'm trying to go to boxing again, trying to get my shit together,

because I want to be healthy for this kid. Because, you know, I'm going to be'm trying to go to boxing again, trying to get my shit together, because I want to be healthy for this kid. Because I, you know, I'm gonna be running around. There's a lot of shit, not immediately, but around a year in, you know. Do you have a heart attack in the middle of that sentence? What was that? I don't think it's for you to show the good idea, Bob. I think of the fucking, the breast milk

in those cherry poppers that she gave me. I'm dying, I'm allergic to something It's like pop rocks and so the back of my throat is closing up Oh, if I fucking kill over cuz you're wife's You actually get AIDS from breast milk by the way What you can you can't No, it doesn't you can get AIDS and breast milk 100% what are you? You can get AIDS and breast milk 100% What are you?

What the fuck man? Why would you tell that to Berzy? And she has AIDS Hey guys Dude, I'm not joking dude I don't want to go down with this shit I don't want fucking any of your anything in me It doesn't have that anymore

It's got to be blood dude You're gonna get it from breast blood Is your fucking are you serious? I don't know It's not Ebola That sounds about right Whatever dude, Madder Johnson, what's up? What? I'm gonna need to see a blood test for the address or I'm not gonna sleep. I'm kidding

I know I get fucking AIDS from this dick head. He's old listen it lays dormant And then I'll just pop off on that I also get it from almond milk so there's no way to tell Did that was a pretty funny tweet somebody tweeted that dance-outers impression of me sounds like you're just tomorrow. They nailed it. That was good.

Bob, you're just taking a sip of water. You're not, mate. Bob, did you get the sound? You look sad. I still want to catch anything for for shits and giggles. For a bit that didn't even work that well. Yeah, I didn't even work.

Because you literally could watch Verzy come unglued every day. And it would make me happy. That should be Verzy show. Verzy coming unglued over normal everyday things. Yeah. You're the enemy who wraps it in it. Yeah, that's how the show goes out with a rep.

He comes unglued over normal things, like coming in your face, finding out you may have just got a AIDS. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Every day shit. Thank you, Joe. Thank you. I'm on the streets. Someone come in your face, finding out you may have just got AIDS. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Every day shit. Where are we doing? Thank you. I'm on the streets. Someone come in your face.

I came like, what happened? He came on his own face. Come in your own face. No, I'm on one massage and shit shut off. One. It's been a couple of drops. Did it go in your eyes or in your mouth? No, no, no.

What are you talking about there? You make it rain coming into the face. You can't drop on your face. So sensitive. Huh? Dan, something melting stuff with your mouth is behind a microphone. Nobody can see you, idiot. I Something something something stuff with your mouth is behind a microphone nobody can see you idiot I'm fucking you gonna have more people on the next one San Fran baby 49ers in the Super Bowl. I so want you to fail

Okay, I want you he's going through. I don't like Kelly's little fucking hype. Hi man. Yeah This I want for you Dan on going through. I don't like Kelly's little fucking hype man. Yeah. This is what I want for you, Dan. Is Dan on the 49ers? No, because everything, Dan has not had, everything goes Dan's way for the last year and a half. For the last year, the first 28 were real stinkers. So I'm having a good year. Bobby doesn't like it.

I have 12. Not just me. Not just me. Good then, everyone can go home themselves. I have 28 shitty ones. Now, all your friends, this is what we want. We want you to fail. We want it all ripped away from you. I'm 28 shitty ones now all your friends. This is what we want. We want you to fail. We want it all ripped away from you.

And then we want it. Give him right back to you. We just want to know that second part's not true. I want dumps. Sad. Can Joe, can I stay in your coach for a while? That's what I want. Yeah, like this maybe a fuck all you 49ers.

You think they're going to win? I hope they win. They're going to win. They're going to win the gonna win? I hope they win. They're gonna win the Super ball. I hope they win. I picked them to win it before the season and against the Ravens. Paul did a Paul walked up to me. I think in August, he was like, I got your Niners win the Super ball. I got your Niners win the Super ball. Oh, oh, I knew where we sit different month. Yo, hit me with a drop. I think the Toronto Blue Day is gonna win a Super Bowl. Oh. Can you let Bob and Ben enter with that?

Look how poor Dylan is on the show. That's all yours. Try that around that stinker. Wow. Dylan's actually on his phone. Who are you texting? I'm not texting anybody. I'm looking to see.

Who the Toronto Blue Jays are? AIDS milk? No, no, no, no. I'm looking at,'m looking at I mean if I tell you it's pretty boring. Go ahead I'm looking to see I can't be as boring as this podcast. I'm seeing you're actually looking something up that's boring I'm not looking anything. I'm just checking my emails and I'm seeing this ping-backs to the last bit Ping-backs that like when he's at those This is where you know something's boring Just didn't admit that you got bored

Just stop trying to back out of it you got bored and you went do you he's bored with your bitching at him look You just go right there exactly Fucking alright, I apologize. You should apologize. You're a cock sucker for doing that I hate when people do that. Sorry. It bugs a fuck out of me. Sorry. We'll have some fucking dignity I'm sorry. I got some borders with my asterisk Nothing bugs me more when I look down and see one of you faggets on your cell phone. First day of that world.

Oh my, Bobby, we talked about that word. Hi, Jeff. We don't say that. When are you assholes? No. Dick Winks. There you go. Eads carriers.

It really does bug me. Why can't you say faggot? It was a joke. You were can. It was that one. That was the joke dude. Yeah, you we can it was that was that was the actual joke Well, you know what we'll do we'll do a half hour with you next time and then you can leave How's that that's great? That sounds great works up. He's like yeah, thank you. You know, I have you know I do two cock sucker I have this isn't my life. I have to what do you think I don't have shit to do?

Oh look at my email while with the middle of your conversation. I'll look at the show and talk and I was fixing the show dick Wad guys Wow what? It's good to be back everybody. I'm not looking just because he's fucking runs last bin. Doesn't matter let it get away with you. Let's you get away with. You get away with whatever you want to get away with. Don't listen in. Yeah, go on hammer.

First. Go for it. All right, listen, we're going to wrap this up. You said that five times. Harris, I know. Well, somebody brought up. We better wrap it up. We have AIDS now.

Harris, where are you going to be, buddy? Shit. All right, Dan, where are you going to be? Let's start with the most famous in the room. Good. Bob, I will be at Stress Factory on Tuesday, February 12th. What are you doing there? Oh, I know. I'm doing the college night there, I believe.

Paging toilets. That's great. I know where I'm going to be at now. I had to think about it. I'm going to be in Lafaylor St. Philadelphia this weekend. This weekend. Well, that's not gonna count it comes out Monday So I'll be at the stress factory February 12th and levity live February 20th. Okay, great

What's that? We have actually at a fan come down to using Albany now just for a school But there's a bunch of fans and our Amsterdam honest with you. Yeah, we have not a bunch I would say like 20 okay, but that's a lot for fucking me dude. They made a dude that was in town in Albany this weekend Came to my show, so there's some people that will come and see you from this good Joe You can just follow me on Twitter. Jill list comedy Album iTunes. What's the album? So far, no good. How's it going?

Never better. Is it going good? Is it selling? I got it. I don't know. Everyone's probably going to get it. That means no. They're here to get any emails or checks.

I get checks every once in a while. I got a check for $189 recently. That's great. It's like 15 albums. Hmm. It's fucking certified crayon. To $13 million to produce. What do you got? Vers? 15 albums. It's fucking certified crayon. To produce.

What do you got? Vers. This weekend I'll be doing spots that stand up in New York in the stand. That's great. What's your website? PaulVersi.com. Twitter? Yep, at PaulVersi.

That crazyNigger.com. What do you got? What do you got? What's your Twitter? Yeah, at hairstand.com. Okay. You got a website? No, Facebook. I'm working on a website you work you that crazy nigga don't I just can't pitch you you working on a website you should it's got reading glasses

on this screen FTP space one two putting on your phone yeah this is very somber plugs were doing well you know FTP space one two put it in your cell phone and this is very somber plugs were that's the pressing well you know what sometimes you roll through them very quickly and people don't get them and we're doing

it a little different you got fans in Amsterdam it's the the bounce because there's a couple of I've done that I did that with Patrice and Keith Robinson and they didn't want me to do it the guy because you want a black guy's a real yeah we're really and they didn't want me to do it the guy Because he wanted black guys. Yeah, we're gay. Leo exactly. He didn't want me to do it

and They were like Bobby can do it if he plays black clubs all the time I did the boss and all the time and I went up and I fucking Annihilated Patrice went up first killed it and then I went up they put me in the middle So fuck you you know what I mean? I went up and then I let it and just keep myself fucked up because he had a headline and He was shadow boxing Come on, I'll do this. I'll do this. Thank bother. Yeah, hey bother Why do you scrap me a little enchanted my name? We want more?

I swear to God we want more touch accent Patrice grabs me and he goes sir this way sir and he pushed fucking key Literally push them up against the wall like get out of the way. We're probably down here. He dressing We have a car waiting The bounce is funny man. That's a that's a killer show. They have an intermission which was weird though Get more drinks Dylan. What do too. You have internet. And get more drinks. Dylan, what do you got? You guys should just go to laughspin.com. You could follow us on Twitter.

laughspincom. laughspincom. They're gonna have a great article about me in the next month. Indeed. Are they really? Yeah, I've been writing it while you were you were accusing me of checking my emails writing the story. Realize to you, Louis

A. The lead is it's a gray night outside and Louis J. Gomez ascends the stairs to dominate upon Sweating and shadow boxing as he always does when he walks He already said shadow boxing. That's why I said it again. Yeah, you took what I said and made it and brought it back Yeah, I am no, I really do hate when people I apologize. Now, I just made it weird. Who did? I did.

Who did you mention? I didn't say this weird, but weird. Look, man. It's good to have you back, Kelly. Look, I'm on a Zoom morning show. I'm going to talk. We got his back when he leaves. He's a friend of mine.

I'll tell him right here. He's a HFB. HFB. That's not bad. Do you understand? I get high as all the time. You understand this way. This works.

You know, it gets hives Dan Yeah, you get a blotchy you get blocked. It's high You get blotchy when you get angry and nervous different. You really get blotchy. Yeah, he gets blotchy Yeah, his neck is fucking cheeks. It's very blotchy when he gets angry I get blotchy we're laughing on my front this lady through chocolate. I'm downstairs at the cellar Is that what it was? I thought it was chocolate. Yeah, because when I went on stage, I found it and they go, I go, what's this?

They go, that's what they she threw it down. I go, she threw that at me. I put a cot it. Well, while you're on stage, yeah, why did you say on stage? Nothing. It was doing a bit. She was drunk. She was drunk. Oh, I said, she's a bitch. Kelly, what do you got? I've got the Creek and the Cave, the first Saturday every month. Is it, are you ever going to have a fucking different credit? Yeah.

Are they going to, are you going to have a show somewhere I thought you were going to stand up show? It's a variety talent show. Dude, that's a show. It's a really good show. It's packed all the time. I can't get a seat. You do stuff on new comics.

Yeah. Like not good comics. Jesus Christ. I'm kidding. I'm telling you to do stuff on new comics. Yeah, like not good comics. Jesus Christ. I'm kidding. I mean, we don't, we, I mean, it's totally, I'm really the other pope. I'm relatively speaking. I mean, we don't cover like completely.

You don't have to answer. No, no, she's good. I mean, do you ever do stuff on comics that like, I don't get left that are coming up that you, that you'll, you won't hear about for the next, not like, you know, this is the next motherfucker, but Kelly is coming up now.

Do you have a new stuff like that? Yeah, no. I'm in a wife, I haven't, like, I've got stuff booked this week, but I've been a wife, I have booked stuff, so I'm a little sad. Well, I mean, there's like, you know, how many hundreds of those are there?

I mean, not to be a jerk, but. How many hundreds of talentless comedians are locked? Not even down like me. All right, you guys are fucking great. Really? I don't get the plug anything you can't. Just kidding. You're working. We're gonna hit that fucking butt. I'm not gonna hit the butt. If you were part of your hit the button right now anyway. If you have any questions or constructive criticism or suggestions for the YKWD podcast, please send them to YKWD at riotcast.com. Those emails go directly to us.

We look at them all. So if you have some titty picks of your wife or girlfriend or pictures of your own vagina, please send them to YKWd at riotcast.com. We look at them all, we take all your suggestions to heart and we try to implement them, not really, but we do like the emails. So any guest suggestions, anybody you wanna see on the show, all that shit, ykwd at riotcast.com.

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So make sure you use the Amazon link on the you know what dude podcast site on riotcast.com. And if you're a video game guy, go to gamefly.com slash YKWD, join through that link. You're gonna get two weeks free. It's saving a lot of money, and then you can fucking cancel if you want, or you can stay on, which you should,

and get games sent to your house. You don't have to go buy them and spend the $60, and find out the game stinks. Get it through Gamefly first, check it out, and if you like it, you can buy it through Gamefly. It's an easy, really easy, great way to play video games and not spend a million dollars a month because new games come out every month. Before you know it, you spent like $300 on two of the games stink.

Are you ready? Blue through them already. It's done. If you're a story mode asshole and you don't play multiplayer, so go to GameFly.com slash YKWD. Join up for a couple weeks. Check it out. You're going to love it.

I guarantee it. GameFly.com slash YKWD. If you're a fan of YKWD podcast, I want you to do me a favor. I want you to go right now and download if you have an iPhone or an iPad, the free Riot Cast app. And if you don't, just go to Riotcast.com, I'll go to Stitcher and check it out if you have an Android phone. And I want you to check out all the other shows. My wife hates me. Jim Florentine's Comedy Mental Midgets, Weird Medicine with Dr. Steve, The Glory Hole with Rob Sprance, Comedy Cell Live from the Table, The Bailey J Show with Matt, The Davey Max Sports

Program, Why You Suck in Bed, Mad Scientist Party Hour, The Jersey Jerks, and The Hammer Fisting MMA Podcast. It's free. It's hours and hours and hours of entertainment for nothing. That's what we give you at Riotcast. So go and support the other shows, tell your friends about it, spread the word. This is the fucking most amazing podcast network. So if you love my show, go support the other shows. Okay, go and check them out. Riotcast.com app for iPhone and iPad, Android is coming soon, get Stitcher if you have an Android phone or just go to Riotcast.com and go to iTunes, subscribe to my show and the other shows and leave a review. You don't understand that this shit's free and

that helps a lot. Okay, you keep us in the top 100, maybe get us to the top 20. I don't know, maybe the top 10 and that's when other people see that and they check out the show. And it feeds itself. That's how that works. So please, review iTunes and make sure you subscribe. Spread the word. You guys are fantastic. Thank you so much. You are so beautiful To me You know what I'm dead? I'm fucking, I'm fucking the one, the one You know what I'm dead? I'm this rock, I'm this rock, I'm this rock You know what I'm dead?

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